100- MOTHER COOPERCall Her Daddy
- 2,866 views
- 28 Oct 2020
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What is up, daddy gang? It is your single father, Alex Cooper, we call you motherfucking gang.
What is up? It is.
Your founding father got it all down for not another episode of Call Her Daddy, but the one hundredth fucking episode of Call her mother fucking daddy. How the hell are you guys doing today?
It's a good fucking day, Daddy. Gang, I put a lot of thought into this episode because I really wasn't sure who is worthy to sit across from me on this beloved episode. I heard the daddy gang and everyone's like, oh, my God, we have to it's it's the 100th episode. This is amazing. Let's celebrate.
And I'm like, who the fuck would I have on this episode? And then I realized that the show wouldn't exist. Without the person sitting next to me. Because had I not come out of her vagina. Oh, God, Dottie, motherfucking game introducing the woman that birthed me, my mother fucking mother, Laurie Cooper.
Yeah, I am a big, big while. I was having a much better time all week calling you ten times a day. Who are you going to have? Who's the person going to be. Oh, my God. Are you getting Cardi B or Daddy? Can you literally. My mom calls me. She's like, oh my God. Like, who did you decide on? And I tell my mom everything. So she's like, who's the one hundredth gas?
And I'm like, I'm not even telling you like it's a surprise. So flash forward to this weekend. They got a ring at the doorbell. And lo and behold, my mother answers the door and she makes eye contact with me first, so excited Alex thinking I'm surprising her, and then she goes, Oh God, oh God.
I could tell right away. Oh, God, I don't know how I could tell. I could tell. I was like, oh, my God, I am not just doing your laundry. No, I am here. My mother and I just want to let you guys know she is clenching the microphone to the point where we may not have her audio. She is so nervous. She's freaking out. She's not doing. How are you doing?
Well, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm losing my mind. I'm going to. Fine. Oh, OK. Listen to me.
OK, Mom, I want you to let you know because Daddy, my mom was like freaking out.
She's like, oh my God. But like, what if they don't think I'm funny and I'm like, Mom, no one is like looking for my mom to come on and be, like, cracking dick jokes, like, you can chill. I think the moral of this is going to be first and foremost, you already made it.
You could literally leave. Right now you're on the show.
OK, that sounds perfect. Go ahead. I think on the 100th episode, what I want to do today is. You have been we can get sappy here you are the most. Influential person in my life. Thank you. And I aspire to. B, not only the mother you are, but also just like the type of person you are. Thanks. You're welcome. So I think that the Doddy gang, it would be really I've really talked about you on this podcast so much, how you are so insightful.
And it will be fun to just kind of let the gang know where I'm from. Yeah. Who I came from. Right now I get. I get it. I'm ready. OK, here we go. I think the most asked question on the Internet. Hands down and we can just kick it off with this. People would want me to ask is, how does your mom feel about call her daddy the show? OK, I'm going to correct you right there, OK?
Because what I think the number one question is. And you were just giving me a nice little Kouda. It's. How does your father feel? What is her dad think about the show? Oh, my God, what are the others? Thousand to one, everyone. What are their dads think you it's even Instagram girls. Everyone on the Internet. If you're posting bikini pictures, what are their fathers think? What is their dad think? And my mom gets all upset and I'm like, excuse me, it's a 50/50.
Like she couldn't have gotten here without you. Without me. Right. Right. But to to answer your question. Yeah. I think it's amazing. I'm just going to put it out there, thank you. Immensely proud. Yeah. What's going on here? And, you know, I'm just going to say it. I admire the product you've created. I know where it comes from. I know how much talent I've watched you, you know, since the eight years old you were starting to think about doing these things.
And I dad and I are both, like, immensely proud of you personally. But, you know, and I've said this to you before, I think you even said it. This creative process and product is even bigger than you, which like kudos to you. I'm proud.
I'm thinking I'm going to do a mom moment. I am really proud. Thank you. Listen, is it raunchy? Does it have sex and making fun of circumstances with sex and all of that?
But you have to respect the creative process and the product. Yeah. Like, how do you how do you not I mean, I know I was saying to you girl Lena Dunham's girls.
Yeah. The Showgirl TV show, I was like, this is amazing, right?
I mean, maybe it's my viewpoint, but Sex in the City, I think I've watched that three three rotations. Right, right.
I read an article, Sarah Jessica Parker, when she took that role, hesitated because she thought it would ruin her career now. So that's that's progress. Yeah.
You know, I mean, it's funny because you and I always in the beginning and even still to this day, I think Daddy gang, my mom would literally call me and be like, I just left the grocery store and I ran into so-and-so from your middle school days. And their parents came up to me. Yeah, and OK. And so and so they'll go, how are you doing?
And I'm like, fine, thank you. But like, there's this tone, right? Like you shouldn't be OK. Right, right.
Like I'm good. How are you know, like how are you doing with Alex? And I'm like, Alex is great.
Did you hear about the podcast. Right. She's doing great. It's great. Thank you so much. And they just look at me like, what's wrong with you and why?
And didn't you have a close friend close?
I had a very close friend like College Friend Longlong. She called me saying that she and her husband had discussed what was happening with you and they felt compelled to let dad.
And I know that they thought something was wrong and it needed to be addressed. And were we aware of I'm like aware of it. Like you think I don't know what's happening. You're like, wait, Alex, as a podcast, I literally had no idea. And this is like a year into it. Yeah. So as a mother, like, did that bother you?
Oh, did it. Come on. You know me. Yeah. That that was a good question but yeah. Yeah it what bothered me and I started to I told you I started to pass it out, differentiate. Like I said to you, there's a difference between how do you feel about the show or what Alex is doing as opposed to how do you feel about Alex? I feel like many times that's the underlying message. How do you feel about your daughter?
Right. Well, I'm sitting here. I feel great about my daughter. I'm very proud of you. Thank you. And so is Dad. I want to say thank you to you for a minute because, well, starting the show and being going through this show, I can only speak for myself on my side of the show. But for me, my experience with my family and the support that I had going through this, you guys have been so supportive, not since it got successful.
Right, to be able to go into the recording studio every single week since Episode one and have my family not saying they loved the sex content, but fully supporting me. Yeah, that made my career when I went in there, I didn't have to think about what are my parents going to think. I was very fortunate.
Right. And but that's you know, that comes with the years of I had trust in you as a person. Yeah. This thing.
Could have not worked, right? It could have been a total flop, right? You know, it was I had confidence in you. Yeah. And the craft that you were this was your first jump in and it's like, let's do it. And everybody is looking at, like, this final product, so to speak, that's come out. But and, you know, me and my quotes, I'm always giving you guys quotes. But one of the ones I always said you if you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion, your passion is going to lead you there.
You you've been driven by your passion your whole life. You. No, and I think that everyone listening, daddy going. I definitely feel like there are people that grow up and that, you know what you want to do. And then there are people I have had best friends that have no idea what they want to do. I want to just tell everyone that's like younger, trying to figure it out. Don't put pressure on yourself to be like I have to figure it out by 25.
I have to fit like if you like you said, Mom, and it is kind of a great quote. Figure out what your passion is, because then that will just that will lead you to like success, because I wake up every single day and love what I'm doing. Of course, this podcast is like stressful at times, but there's nothing else I would rather be doing.
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Throughout my years I even have mentioned some of your like iconic lines that have stuck with me. And then inherently I'm obviously on my podcast using them because you're my mother and I know that you weren't obviously prepared for this interview. So I pulled up some of your iconic lines that I just think I would say on the call her daddy podcast. And I want the daddy going to hear some Laurie Cooper fucking wisdom.
OK, so I just always thought it'd be easier for you guys if I gave you, like, repeating lines. No, you did. You would say the same shit over and over to us at the time when I was younger. I'm like, mom, we get it. But now I'm like, oh, mom, yeah, I get it.
And now it's stuck with me. So the first part has to do with relationships. And it's so beautiful because Lauren, having just gone through her breakup, I remember you on FaceTime with her asking her this question, and I haven't heard you say this in a while, but I remember you saying it to me in college as well, like when you were dating all those guys with all the depth.
Yes, all the depth, all the emotions. So brilliant, so beautiful. But at least they were rich. OK, so and I knew you were just practicing.
I'm like, wow, what are you supposed to out? And she'll see she hits a brick wall.
She'll be like, that's not that's not working in trial and error. Maybe you don't want that.
So this is one of your obviously I don't have a quote by quote. This is basically something Laurie Cooper has always preached to me and my friends, my family about relationships. Unless you are engaging in a relationship where you truly believe that person makes you a better version of yourself. Why would you ever commit to a static agreement so basically. Is that how you say it? Sort of.
Yeah, I think I threw that static piece in later, but it it's just basically there's so much emphasis on it.
You know, me, I have literally gone from you know, I hope you guys find a good life partner, whoever that is, get married with children.
I'm like not 100 percent on marriage anymore.
Right. And not that we're against it. You're more just like whatever makes you happy. Well, whatever makes you happy, but whatever allows you to continue to grow. Yeah. Like I mean, I think what I was most I am most thankful in my relationship with dad and I've told you this. I'm like the version you see before you now with dad is like version 10. Right. You know, like we had to keep moving forward and developing this language and this support system.
But when we came together, there was no question in my mind I am a better person, like productively internally when I am with this man, why make each other better?
So the decision. To commit to that, and back in our day, it was you got married, right? It was it was a no brainer, except and I've told you this, I had a little.
Right. You're kind of like a shooter. Yeah. Yeah, right. Because it was being vulnerable. But that to me was the deciding factor. And I may have even gotten that from therapy myself. Yeah. I have to kind of go through that when you're going into my field. But I think no, I think it's brilliant. I think everyone listening, daddy saying that's beautiful. Thank you, Mom. It's like everybody listening to this podcast.
Take a fucking minute and think of yourself. If you're in a relationship right now or even if you're not, think back to past relationships. Did that person make you the best version and a better version of yourself, or did you feel better individually and without that person? Did they make you feel like shit? Do they put you down? Do they support your career? Look, which is it?
And when you kind of ask yourself that question, because I remember when we asked Lauren and I know you've asked me that in the past, and a lot of times it's kind of a very clear answer.
Right. And and that's kind of scary because then you got to be willing to, like, listen to yourself. Big weight. No, I don't feel like a better version of myself. He puts me down. He makes me feel like shit. Right. And so that's what I was kind of jumping in to say to you. I forget where I got this quote from Ryan, but the quote is ownership.
Does it make you feel like the best version of yourself? It's not his or her responsibility, right. You when you come together, you get that feeling from a positive relationship. Right. But you've got to look at it and go, what am I doing here? Am I the flip side to this that I've used with you is if someone you're partnering with makes you feel less than who you know you are to be and you are. That's not a healthy relationship.
Right, and that it's like dark and deep, but not a healthy relationship and I don't know whether you got we literally I couldn't even prepare for this because I was so nervous. Yeah, but my other quote that's coming to me and I know what you've used this a lot I used to say to you a lot is you need to understand in an imbalanced relationship, the person that cares the least controls the relationship.
Laurie Cooper, I have tweeted that line a line. I have said that line and people get so mad at me when I say that. But it is it's fucking true. You hate to hear that. Yeah. Because if you're in a relationship and you start realizing that that other person in a negative way is calling all the shots. That's so unhealthy, it's literally they don't care exactly, they care, they care the least. It's so fucking true.
It's so dark, Daddy. But think about that. I remember I used that in my He Doesn't Like You episode. I was like, I forgot that one. Right. The person that cares leaves. It's like, hold on. Think about that. He never calls. He never texts. He treats you like shit. So who's who's texting you. You're texting first. Every time you're trying to get him to see you, your final double text him.
I'll try to show up and then I'll bring foods. He likes me. Why are you having to try so hard, because he doesn't care and therefore you're the one putting in all the effort and therefore he's the one that dictates the relationship. And it's not healthy. It's not. But it's the truth. It really either one of you it's not.
And that's where it goes back. I'll go back one more time and then you can move on.
This goes back to when you're little. Why do you want to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with you?
That was on my list. Oh, OK. Laurie Cooper spitting back. That is the biggest. Like, why do you want to be in a fuckin relationship with someone that doesn't want to be in a relationship with you? What are you doing? Yeah. Doesn't have the same feelings. Why are you forcing something? Why would you want to force someone to fucking like you or hang out with you or want to be with you?
And what's the cliche line everybody uses when they see it like a marriage and everything later and they go, oh, it's not working out. They go, well, either he or she. Yeah, they settled. Oh, settled.
You get one life. My one. Yeah. So what are you doing with this one. Wonderful Life. There's no well the Buddhists believe. Right. There's no there's Reijo. Right. OK, so that's one exclusion. We're not Buddhists.
OK, this is this is it. This is that you're settling. So you're going to settle and this doesn't mean the most money, the best, the smartest person it means for you, the richest relationship.
And it goes back to I know I'm preaching now, but I've said this, you know, I love my fucking spit back to the face, please.
But when you find your person, it's what works for you. Works for you. Well, I have another quote from you, Lori, and this is a quote. That's not your quote, but you always used to say it to us. And it's the one that you accept the love that you think you deserve. Yeah. And that's as far as you can go. If you don't think you deserve more than the guy that beats the shit out of you and treats you like shit, then you will continue to be with that person.
The minute that you open your eyes and you see, wait, I think I deserve more than this. I think I really see myself. And I know in my heart of hearts this is going to be the hardest thing to get out of. But I truly, like you said, I know it's corny as fuck we live one life. You got to figure a way if you don't feel like you're getting the best, that doesn't something get the fuck out.
Right. I just and I get your passion with what you just said. But I do want to clarify, when you're in an abusive relationship that the balance is so skewed that you sort of as the person that may be in being abused, you don't really have that thought process to be able to get out and be strong. So you need help with that. Do you have any advice for people that are in that situation? Get help, get professional help?
Yeah. And I will tell you right now, and I almost can say this professionally, but I won't. This is my daughter. If you were in a relationship and it is not good and God forbid, if it if it's abusive. Right. If that person will not go to therapy with you. For the love of God, get your family around you and get out of it, because that's a really bad sign if they won't work with you to solve a problem.
I'm getting a little dog. No, no, but it's true. I think I think people like this on the show sometimes when I have talked about sexual abuse and now this is it is nice to have people that are older, like sex with Emily brought in a different. She was great. She was great. And this is I know a lot of girls deal with this and it's kind of a lot of girls even asked me, where do you find a therapist like you saying that to someone I think is real?
And that's a static part I'm talking about Alex.
Yeah, that's the static. Like, if you think if you think that making the commitment or, you know, getting married, let's say having children, that won't change if the person isn't going to go and get some help for to change themselves. Right. And stop being in a bit. If your partner won't go to therapy with you and you're saying there's a clear issue, they don't think they need to change. Well, they also don't care enough about the relationship.
If Dad came to me tomorrow and said, I need to go, dad needs to go, I would go for him. Right. Because he's asking me and I care. Right. And vice versa. So it's anyone that goes, I don't need that right. You can go, but I don't need that if you're a partner.
There you go. Right.
OK, it's fitting that well, I think in and in that this is another thing that I have kept with me and I think about in every relationship that I get. And because of you and I've said this to my friends, Laurie, Laurie, you really are the granddaddy over here.
OK, what are you going to say? It's well, it's relating to this another Laurie Cooper quote Brilliants. If something is bothering you in your relationship and if there are things that you do not like in your relationship. It will only get ten times worse when you get married, so if you are in a relationship right now and he's an alcoholic or he's a dick to you or he's cheating on you or she's cheating on you and she treats you and she gaslights you and you're just dating, understand that it will get worse the minute you commit to each other in marriage.
So, like, you have to knowingly be ready to sign up for that. Correct. And the thing is, it's not we're not no one's perfect, in my opinion. So we're not out there like, oh, they do that. So leave the point is you need to address it. Yeah, you have to address it. I have, unfortunately, a lot of friends right now. They're empty nesters right there with their their spouses. And they haven't had these conversations, like Dad would have ticked me off last week, I would tell him this is bothering me.
A lot of people have all these conversations in their head and they never even tell they're not communicating. Yeah, and it just you know what that's like, oh, my God, you just keeps going, going, going. You're like, it's gone. Then it comes up again. It's just you got your generation, which I love this whole thing with technology. OK, fine, it's probably bad, you know, where each other is. I cannot believe boyfriends and girlfriends follow each other on five minutes, tops.
Oh, my God. We wanted to use that in college for you kids in case you, like, got in a car. Right? Right. And now boyfriends and girlfriends are like following each other, which I think is psychotic. And if my boyfriend ever wanted to fall, follow me on a fucking tracking device, I'd be like, literally go fuck yourself. Right. So and you're looking at each other's phones and all that. Yeah. So but with that openness, you use it positively.
I use it like if you're not good at confrontation, maybe you could text him while he's at work and start the conversation. Hey, like I really think we should talk later tonight. I've been thinking about blah blah blah blah. However Daddy going, it's never too late if you're in a situation where you're like but it's too far down the line or I'm in a seven year relationship, how could I ever end it? No, fuck no. We do not fucking settle.
And I'm so happy you brought up that fucking word. I can't even imagine. Settle, settle. I settled. I'm going to settle with my life. I'm going to settle at twenty five. Excuse Daddy King. We don't fucking settle. We fucking thrive and we succeed and we get what we fucking deserve.
And in turn you give as much as you see it works because that's a healthy side that you're bringing that I'm trying it.
So that's safe zone. No it's true.
It's true. Lori. Wait till I pull my book out that I've been keeping for years. I know it's contagious. If anyone has blackmail on me, it's my mother, but at least it's my mother. Commercial, hello, fresh, huh? Hello, fresh. Hello, fresh bitches. Listen, Alex, you literally only eat Cheetos. I know I don't cook, OK? You all know this. We all know this. And I've said it in the past.
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I think that we could transition because it will just be fun. I think we're just going to talk about shit. We talked about my childhood.
It's like the whole thing of self-awareness. And what have you always said about self awareness, Laurie?
It is the single most important piece to develop for success in both your personal and your professional life.
Yeah, like it is it? Yep. And again, it goes back to the only person you can control is yourself. So awareness of the self is where it all stems from.
You've always said to me like no one ever evolves and grows unless they were willing to discuss change. And you can't grow if you don't change and you can't grow if you're not self aware and change causes discomfort.
Right. And people hate that. Right.
And that's why everybody's coming up to me in the grocery store or you feel, are you OK going through a little change here? Yeah, I do have to say, when I pushed, like, the whole individual self awareness thing, I think I might have pushed it a little too hard.
Yeah, let's talk about that, because you really fucked me up. No, I'm just kidding. So I think that I preach it on this show. I'm like, Daddy, you need to be yourself. Own your shit. You don't need a man. You don't need a woman.
Because when I was growing up, I think you really taught me you you yeah. You did push individuality and you really never put an emphasis on, like, having a partner. Right. It was more about being good on my own. Right. Which I love. But I think I may have taken a little too far. I don't I, I think honestly, in another way, you were probably my my best child disciple. You told everything you like that you like this big.
You you kind of hung you and I had a we have connection personality wise and extroverted. You wouldn't know it right now with me because you're freaking the I'm freaking out.
But you took that and you kept developing the self, the self, you know, and working on that and being a better person and evolving.
I don't I don't think it's a problem for you right now.
I think you just have really, really always strive to be the maximum at anything. Now you're hitting you're looking for that maximum relationship.
Well, it's interesting because you and I were having a conversation over drinks last night about like how I've always called it a game with men. And it's something I'm going I'm going down this journey in therapy, dating. But basically, like what I've been talking about is I was I felt like I was playing a game with men for so long because for a very long time in my entire childhood and life and I'm working on soccer in my career, I couldn't have been more OK being alone.
I was very happy and being an individual. And so every time I had a guy in my life, it was more so like a a fun side thing for me to do. But I was never expecting anyone to fill me up fully because I do it for myself.
Right. And like you called it, you call it a game, right? I call the exact same thing a process, Larry.
It's true. It is.
Were her and with the game that kind of diminishes the process. Right. It sounds a little manipulative, manipulative, competitive. Yeah.
It's a throw away, right. You win. You keep moving on.
It's a process. Right. And I mean, going back to your soccer days. Right. Right. How many times did you kick the net? Thousands until you figured that perfect shot. Are you going to connect this to dating. Oh, my God. So you've got to we got so you need to date thousands of men, right? No, but actually you need to date you figure out what you want. Yes.
And that's where it goes back to again, the amount of times that my mom and I have conversations about, like when family members or extended friends of ours are like he is just getting it out of his system.
Yeah, OK. And let me let me jump in with that, because you know that I go on a rant with that every time and it's not it's not sexist. I'm fine with both sexes with this, and I don't even mean sex itself. But why can you say, oh, he's a great young man. He's got a wonderful college degree and he's good looking. He's got a good job. He just needs to get the fuck boy syndrome out of his system and then he's going to make a great father and husband husband.
OK, so how does that not work for a woman, for the other? That person would never have it come out of their mouth. She just needs to fuck around so much for a little bit. And she's going to make an amazing wife, right? Never. Never. The point I think we're bringing up is like when I when I've called it a game. You're right, Mom. And maybe it was because I was an athlete and that's just what I was calling it.
But it really is a process figuring out what you like.
And you've had some pretty dark games. Yeah. In the relationship slicing. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
And then I'll always say to you, you know, where people go, oh my God, you regret that happened. I don't ever regret a negative experience. Yeah. If you grew from it. Right. This is, this is what I hope this is. This is what I see is your message. Right.
No, I've had so many crazy things happen in relationships and even though I was entertaining the guys that were not the best of intentions for a while, well, you've taught me never regret anything because I've had extremely amazing experience. I wouldn't say amazing, but it is kind of amazing, extraordinary, extraordinary experiences because I am where I am. I have a better sense of self knowing what I want, what I don't want because of those experiences.
It was here's what you want is one that it's so easy. I mean, we're getting a little bit into the weeds, but it's like what you want is easy. You can and you can see it. Right. And I used to say this to you guys a lot, too. And this is what we're talking about here. It's so important to know what you don't want. Yeah. And what you don't want when you experience it is usually a negative experience, right?
Yep. But then how important is that moving forward? This is what we were talking about, like the whole victim. I know we're going to get into the victim, into will. They did this to me. They did that to me.
Why are you here again? You have to know what you don't want it. Yeah.
Accountability is something I dare you and Dad raised me with and I was joking to my mom. We were just having a conversation about and I'm not talking about victims of sexual assault. No, I'm talking about the the people that are like, woe is me.
I she did this to me. I'm a victim or or he did this to me. And it's like, what did you always say to me when I was growing?
You would come. I mean, when you say that I see, like, the little braids and the uniform from Catholic school shout out.
Right, but you would come to the door and Suzy Cream Cheese said blah, blah, blah to me.
Right. And I'd say, so what are you going to do about it? Right. Because you can't change the way Susie made you feel right. But you can change the way you're going to behave and respond now to the situation. It's the only control you have fucking boom.
And that's empowerment. No, it is because that is empowering. And I do want to say to the daddy gang, like, we are not fucking victims. We don't let a boy, my boyfriend watch it happen.
Of course shit happens, of course. But you got to deal with it. You got to deal with it. It's not going to be like my boyfriend is treating me like shit and it's like, OK, what are you going to do about it?
But it's also it's a it's a lack a lack of autonomy over your own life. Right. You know, which is almost worse because you're handing it over to somebody else. So you that's always everyone else. A. Yeah.
It's always someone else's problem. They did this to me. And then how do you solve someone else's problem. See it. It completely enables you. Right. Dependency. Right. Because how. Oh, he's doing that to you and he's causing your pain and your misfortune. Well, you don't control him, right. You control yourself for her. Why don't you walk away?
So you need to decide what you're going to do to protect yourself. This is deep. Well, it's deep, but it's also it's behavior one on one if you buy into it. Yeah. It's the difference of what did they do to me or what am I going to do about it? It really comes down to that. Laurie Hmm.
Oh my God.
I was looking at this. No, that's true. It's just it's I mean, you've heard the glass half full glass half. Right. It's just it's the same dynamic, right. Somebody pushed you. Somebody said something. Right. They already did it. The actions done. Right. So what are you going to do? Roll over and. Ask them to do it again or pick up, go to a different sandbox, find a new friend, move on with your life.
And I don't mean to sound patronizing, but not very simplistic. Yeah, well, I think this is cool because I think, like, I do like to have, like, different moments on call her daddy because sometimes I feel like you. We go through our everyday life, especially in Corona, and some of us are in ruts and some of us are like stuck in whatever the fuck we're doing. And it's like this is kind of a cool I mean, I'm enjoying this episode or talking about this and who knows what will go in and what won't go in.
But I feel like I'm having a therapy session with my mother. It is nice to have reset moments to just reevaluate everything and everyone in your life.
I think for me in Corona, that's something that I really started to look at, who is super toxic in my life and why do I still entertain those people? Hmm. Maybe every one after this episode, at least something we take is like and I'm even thinking about it even more because I've been thinking about it and Corona.
But I'm like, who is in my life and how does every single person in my life make me feel? And who are you giving a lot of your time to?
Because I think in the past. I was giving my time to people that were sucking the fucking life out of me and I was getting nothing in return. I felt empty and I was giving them everything. And then you're kind of like. This doesn't seem right, but then when you're in a pattern and you keep going with it, friendships or romantic, it's hard to kind of get out of it.
I admit I'm not. I know he's saying, oh, I'm strong and I know I've had fuckin times where I'm like, how do I get out of this?
Because it becomes like, I don't I don't know if I have the effort right now to, like, pick up and get out of here.
Do you remember one situation? I know you do. OK, here we go. And it was pretty serious. And I said to you. You could commit to this relationship. And if this is what you're going to sign up for, you are going to spend the rest of your life trying to help this man. Get healthy because he is very broken. Yes, and sometimes people do that because they think I love them, you better look at your construct of what love is and that was not the way you were raised.
That's what I was so, so specific on.
It has to be a partnership. It doesn't have to be equal with exactly the same stuff, but it has to balance out always as an equal partnership.
And I wanted to scare you at that moment because I meant it. You did.
You will spend your life trying to make him normal. Is that what you want to do? I thought you had a few other things on your list. And he will suck every piece of oxygen out of the air every time you're with him. And I was remember it, this is you getting chills. This is verbatim what my mother said to me.
Yeah. So I just I will support your decision because you know me, I'm almost to a fault that I don't interfere once once you become an adult. I feel like I've given you the foundation. But I, I, I did want you to know what you were signing up for. I will never forget that moment. It's interesting you're bringing this up because I don't know if it aired last week or is now airing this week on Panas Part two, I talked about how I had a phase after college where I kind of lost myself.
And I remember kind of distancing myself from you and your dad because I knew. You guys knew. I wasn't doing what I wanted to do with my life. Yes, I had just won my silent film award in my senior year. I was killing it in the film program at Boston. And then I graduated and all of a sudden everything I had done my entire life, all of sudden I just kind of stopped and I became a girlfriend. And I remember.
Distancing myself because I was, too, it was almost like I was just too ashamed because I knew how you guys knew what I really was and I was so in this vortex of being a girlfriend that I kind of lost myself for a minute. And I remember and this will go in a fucking book one day. But really what ended up happening, that is for another story. But the point is, finally, I remember you and Dad being like, where the fuck is Alex Cooper?
Where the fuck is the girl that grew up in our basement? Yes. Making movies. Yes, I went to high school, continued to make movies, went to college for film and television, won the silent film.
All right. Like where is she? Because we barely could hold you back when you were a young girl trying to fucking leave and be like, I'm not going to high school, I'm not going to college, I'm going to fucking Hollywood. And you're like, no, we're going to give you a normal life. And then you gave me a normal life and I'm so grateful. And I went to college and I did all of it. And then I'm like, what am I fucking doing?
And it really was the scariest moment for me to like. I almost lost myself there to be like mailing it in. I'll have money and I'll have a guy that kind of treats me like a fucking piece of shit. And I'm literally trying to help this man through his family trauma and all the things.
But what do I get? And I was kicking myself because I had taught you how to do, you know, good intervention.
Right. With right. And you're like, Alex, you can't save this person like, okay, now. And that is where I do I do love you and Dad for finally stepping in when it got so dark and you were like, where the fuck is she? And literally once that happened, call her daddy was made in less than like three months.
Well, because that is the minute you came out. I woke up. You woke up. Yeah. You woke up. I was like, what the fuck? I knew I knew who you were. Yeah. And all of that. And and remember that I'm not just saying this to make it sound right, but I didn't even dislike.
I liked that. No, no. I like yeah it was. But it that wasn't the issue. Yeah. It wasn't right. That wasn't the issue. The dynamic was very off. Yeah. Very off you know.
Yeah. And I think when you get in a situation where someone is so emotionally reliant on you, like you said, you almost taught me to do that. But then I got to the point where again, I'm saying and this goes back to dogging everything we said, this whole episode, what was I getting and what was he getting? And most importantly, you were losing yourself. Right?
So I wasn't the best version of myself when I was not the best version of yourself.
So I think the point is, is like you find people, daddy gang, and you shouldn't feel I feel like so many girls are like, I regret this and I oh, my God, he was such a dick. Even if you got cheated on, you were sitting there in the darkest point of your life, because one day I will tell the story of what really fucking happened to me and what am I breakup's. And it was the most unbelievable situation and it included garbage bags.
It's a movie. It is the most unbelievable thing that my parents had to get involved. Mm hmm. And as much in that moment as I was so. Distraught when I look back, I wouldn't change one thing about what happened, because I wouldn't be sitting in this fucking chair right now having my 100th episode with my goddamn mother on the call her daddy podcast to call her daddy podcast may not even exist. Had the garbage bag situation had not happened.
It absolutely would not. And that is my mantra also to you if you went through that hell. But you're in a good spot now. You don't regret that. Yeah. You learned from it. Yeah, it's it's it's hard to do in the moment. But that's why I always I keep saying it on my show and I brought it up, I started thinking about it on the show. And I keep telling people, look at it from a third party point of view.
Everyone, when you watch people going through a break up, you're always like, oh my God, you're going to come out stronger than ever. It's kind of true. You learn something that you hated or loved and now you're moving on to be bigger and better.
And how many times come on, you know, it's totally normal for your age group.
Everybody sits around and you listen to these stories and you go, oh, I'd never do it that way. Oh, I wouldn't get burnt like that. I would never get cheated on.
Alex talks about getting cheated on so much, she really overemphasizes getting cheated on.
OK, that's what I'm talking about. Vulnerability. If you always are looking at it like, oh, I'm not going, that's not going to happen to me, you're not living this process fully. Yeah, you're going to get shortchanged, right. I mean, you got to go through this. Hello, this is Ben. Honestly, I hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am. I feel like I just got a free therapy session for my mother.
God, I hope they're okay with this. I feel like I'm sitting in in the the office of the psychologist I work for. And we're talking about cases. Sorry.
No, no. But I think I don't know. I mean, listen, if they hated it, you're my mother. They can't hate you. So it's like you're not a podcast. But I do. I think that this is something I was thinking about, and I want you to take a minute to think about this, no pressure.
Mm hmm. But to wrap this episode up. Yeah, because we've gone all over. Well, I didn't know where. I have no idea. No, I honestly just blacked out. I wish I could do that. You guys talk about about blacking out and going back.
You shouldn't be blacking out at that age. That's not a good sign.
But it sounds like you get to go away and you come back and there's no responsibility. No, it's nice guy.
OK to get deep here, Laurie. Yeah. We all like. We haven't. We haven't. No.
To finish this and to kind of wrap it up as much as we're kind of talking about me and you and and and how I was raised and giving your insight.
I want to ask you a very specific question that I was trying to figure out how to say it for a while, and I think I have it that I hopefully think will wrap it all up for just this one 100th episode of like. If you could tell the doughty gang as my mother. Who they're not always interested in, it's usually the dads, right, the dads, the down no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm giving you the Maddigan Daddy.
Duigan cares about you as my mother. What would you tell the daddy gang about me that you think? Because I have an online relationship with them, they would never really, truly know about me, but as my mother. Mm hmm. You know, about me and my character, like, what do you want them to know about me?
Take a minute. Hmm, wow, I mean. I don't I honestly don't even need a moment to to know what I want to tell them. I just have to collect the thoughts I need about an hour. Right. You know, the. Sir. We're here for you. OK, we'll wait.
Well, I want people to know that you were raised with very high moral and ethical principles.
Yeah. I mean, as a parent, I'm most proud that when your integrity and your character were challenged. You did the right thing. Spent a lot of shit flying around. And well, you may end up cutting this out, but. The entire story of the factors leading up to the dispute most likely will never be told Alex. Yeah, unless you're given no choice. And I don't think they should, because that's not how we raised you.
But when you were facing the potential of significant loss to your career. I want people to know you were a supportive, loyal and caring friend first. Until all the other options were exhausted. And I'm not talking about the contracts and the negotiations, I'm talking about the individuals you cared about. Their personal struggles. So I guess this is kind of my long winded way of saying I want people who don't know you personally to know you're a good, decent and strong young woman.
And that's what I'm most proud of, Alex. It's that. Fuck, Jodhi, gay mom. I'm done. Fuck, this is getting so deep and fuck, thank you, Mom, thank you. I mean, that that's the closing statement. I don't think I said thank you, my mother.
I don't have to do this. So you're done. You're officially done. Larry Cooper, you've graced the Johnny King with their presence. You've gripped the fuck out of that Mike Makone. It's broken. Thank you, Mom.
Thank you for coming on that. Honestly, I. I couldn't have asked for better guest, and I don't think I will ever have a better guest. Oh, well, they may be easier to.
Oh my God. They may be here to podcast with but no that was amazing. Laurie Cooper. OK, what does that say.
You're crying. I want to vomit. So maybe that's our relationship. Ali. I don't know daddy fucking gang.
You just heard from my mother and now it's your father speaking, which is confusing to say in my home town house, because my dad is like, are you calling for me?
I'm like, no, dad, I'm the father in this home. Daddy, you know the motherfucking drill that is. I don't need to see one more fucking thing. I will see you fuckers next one.