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What is up, daddy gang? It is your single father, Alex Cooper. We call her dad.

What is up, Daddy King? It is your founding father.

Got gonna go on for another episode of Call her Daddy. Hello, hello, hello, Daddy Guang. I hope you are all having an amazing Wednesday, if not, that's fine. You're listening to this podcast, so it's about to turn around real fucking quick.

Daddy gang. The guests today when she was 21 years old for three months, three months in her life in 2014, entered into the adult film industry, having no idea how it would impact her life. And she is here today a strong and independent, successful young woman, because she refused to let social media define her reputation, to define her livelihood from a decision that she made in her early career. Her journey was painful and it was dark as fuck and difficult.

And you want to talk about rising from the fucking ashes. This woman is honourary.

Daddy Guang. Mia, Khaleefa, hi. Hi. Thank you so much for joining me today. I'm so happy to be here. It's so crazy that you are here and I'm so excited to have you on.

I want to start by talking about our story together and how we discovered each other, how this came to be, and like, why are we here today?

I will go first. OK, so when everything broke out with call her daddy last year, I started seeing things about it, pop up on my Facebook page on tick talk. And I became obsessed, like obsessed, consumed everything I could about it.

I needed to know every single detail. And I was just so inspired by your strength through it all and the way you handled everything, and especially by that first video you did when you came back, that YouTube video was, oh, my God, I think I saw someone parody a parody ad after the Oprah interview saying like they Photoshopped the queen onto your face.

Mean after she watches this interview. We I did not see that. It was hilarious. Like, it was incredible. You showed so much strength and you made me a call.

Her daddy found that amazing to hear because I will. Thank you. First of all, I. Had always knew, like knew who you were, and then I remember going to follow you and seeing that you followed me and I went to you then because I'm like, I need to have this girl on the show. And then I saw that you had already deemed me and your D.M. to me was unbelievable. So thank you so much. It was basically explaining exactly kind of what she said about the video.

Yeah.

I mean, I just wanted to like I knew I knew you wouldn't see it because at that time you were just getting completely blown up. It was.

I love how you say that you're like 20 million followers. I just like it if you're going to see I'm like, I'm surprised you even know who I am. So thank you very much. So you'll never see this, but yeah. No, I don't think so. Thank you.

And and I'm a huge fan. I to give anyone context right now. Daddy gang listening. I am sitting with Mia in her house right now and we hung out last night, which I think was crucial for this interview because we wanted to kind of go through what MIA is going to be comfortable talking about, not talking about, and just so it can be an enjoyable experience for both of us and something that you're proud of and you want to put on the Internet, because I've seen some of your past interviews and the people that interview are fucking assholes and like, what the fuck are these people doing?

So I want to give you a hopefully a different experience today as we kind of delve into some topic. Some are going to be fun, call her daddy topics and some will be more serious topics. But I just wanted to tell the daddy gang that Mia and I have had a conversation about what she's comfortable talking about today and the themes that we're going to be talking about. Hopefully a lot of you will be able to relate.

So I want to kind of go through MIA, you just explaining like your childhood and just where you're from and just giving a little bit of background on, like who you are in case people don't know who you are.

OK, I moved to America in 2001 from Lebanon and I grew up as one of the very few brown people in Montgomery County. And the school that I went to, it was me and a couple Indian kids and that was it. So there was a lot of internalized racism against myself. And I wanted so badly to be white and everyone was white and Jewish and I wanted to have a bar mitzvah and I wanted to do all of these things that everyone else was doing and eat the peanut butter jelly sandwiches in my lunch bag like everyone else.

And there was a lot of bullying and a lot of things that. Ensued after 9/11 happened, so my childhood was a little rough. I didn't have too many friends. I was also extremely overweight and just did not fit in anywhere, anywhere. So I turned inwards and I. I I don't know, I had a lot of shame over being different, not being attractive, not getting not getting any positive attention or validation for myself, so I sought for it elsewhere.

And by the time I was 16, I was dating someone who was 23 and. You were looking for validation through. Yeah, we'd had a conversation about that last night, I think to kind of go through some of your childhood, I think is thank you for sharing that, because those are all themes I think that a lot of people can relate to. Is, one, being bullied at a young age significantly affects your mental health and the way that you look at yourself in your adolescent years and then affects you.

If you don't get into therapy or you don't address it, it affects you throughout the rest of your life and the decisions that you make and the relationships that you get into. I can only imagine, like you're saying, you. So did you move here around the time of 9/11? Yeah, in January.

So by the time school starts, school started, 9/11 happened. And being in D.C., it was.

Did you grow up in New York? No, but in Pennsylvania.

But the northeast and the northeast in general, I think was differently affected by 9/11 than the rest of America because we didn't have school for like a week.

Yeah, we got sent home and did not go back for a week and do those trainings of like if this ever happens again in school, like everyone was like, I like where to take cover in the like rooms. It was crazy to code red drills and everyone brought like lunch boxes that you have to like pack to like have in case it was crazy times in the Northeast.

Isn't it so wild that we look at like the Red Scare and how kids were hiding under their desks like, oh my God, I can't believe they did that. Meanwhile, we're putting up cardboard over the small window in the classroom in case there's an active shooter or something.

Times have changed, but it's it's kind of the same. The same, same, but different.

So was it for you was it so hard coming from where you came from to then come to the United States and then to be in the United States around that time at such a young age, like, did you deal with bullying around not being from America?

Yeah, the accent I didn't lose until, like, probably middle school. So there was bullying surrounding that. There was bullying surrounding the way I looked, the way I acted, the food I brought to school, basically everything I just did.

And I didn't know anything else. So I didn't know if I would ever fit in anywhere.

I thought everywhere it was like, this is very isolated, very you said you grew up sort of from like a not a military background, but you did go to military school for high school.

So you were kind of on like a I wouldn't say like a straight and narrow path, but you definitely were not living in a way that, like, your eyes were on you. Your parents not restrict, but like you're going to military school.

And so when you get to your adolescent years, you go to college and like, can you talk about your experience with weight in college? And, like, the transition from feeling like insecure and not confident yourself and then having that body image changing in college to getting your boob job.

The crazy thing is my body image didn't change until maybe like four or five years ago, even when I even after I lost all the weight between those few years after high school and my early 20s, I thought it was my boobs that made me feel so low and so self-conscious about myself.

But after I got my boobs and I was still that one was a breast lift and implants. Oh, because of my drastic weight loss, I had thirty four kids and then I lost sixty pounds and I had thirty two A's. But I had all of this excess skin to the point where the doctor couldn't put implants in. Otherwise my nipples would face like my toes so they had to do a lift and then put implants in. And did the weight loss also affect other parts of your body, not just your body.

Yes, so many parts.

Like yes, it was really hard for me to struggle with, especially having so many friends my age seeing their bodies compared to mine. I, I looked like I had three kids like I had. I still have all of this excess skin and stretch marks. The stretch marks I don't care about. It's it's the it's what my skin does when I sit and when I move certain ways that you can tell that's like there's no way to fix that other than having it surgically removed.

And I lost the weight in the worst possible way. What do you mean how did you do it? Not eating, just being completely unhealthy, abusing laxatives, just doing all of these things to put my body through the wringer and lose this weight so drastically.

How where were you, like, mentally in that state of your life? I hated myself. I, I didn't see the person that was actually there in the mirror. Even though I had already lost 60 pounds. I looked like a completely different person. I did. I still saw that chubby girl that. I kind of hated and was ashamed of, and I didn't feel as pretty as I was, so whenever I got attention from men, I felt like I need to hold on to this.

I'm going to lose it. I might not ever get it again. Like, I don't know when this will pass again. It's like a shooting star. I need to hold on to this and do whatever I can to make them happy so that I can keep getting this.

Because you hadn't gotten any of that while you were younger. Yeah. If anything, you were getting shamed about your body. Yeah. So you got any type of positive reinforcement about the way that your body looked from a man was something that you had not experienced. So it was like something again, I get what you're saying. You wanted to hold on to that. A lot of weight to lose, obviously. Yeah. And we had talked last night a little bit about your struggle with body image and having openly saying you were comfortable talking about having an eating disorder.

And I think so many women struggle with weight in general. But to acknowledge and understand that you have an eating disorder, like, can you kind of walk us through that journey and how you feel? You're saying it's been the past, what, four years you started to really love yourself. Can you kind of talk us about, like, what that journey has been for you?

Therapy. I love therapy, do you? Nothing that makes you like therapy yet I was like nervous to Oscar because I'm like, oh God. Like, is this rude to ask if you know where to normalize asking people, yo, are you in therapy? Right. I don't want you in my life unless you're in therapy. Are you actively working on yourself? Last night I looked at me when she said yes, I was like, OK, now I fuck with you.

This is amazing. We get along and then to ask each other like, oh, are like our significant others in therapy. And we're like, absolutely. I was like, I will never date another guy that isn't in therapy. No, you're like you're not in therapy. Yes. So you got into what age did you get into therapy? 2016.

Like five years ago. I was twenty three. Twenty four maybe. Got it. And it completely changed my life and I, I've heard, I've heard you say you need to try different therapies and I fully agree with that. It's like eating. Yeah, it's like dating. It's like having a trainer. It's like having a dermatologist. Like you're not just going to mesh with the first one, you know, it's OK. Yeah.

So your experience with therapy has helped you dealing with that body image, not just the body image.

Yeah, yeah. Everything seems to tie back to shame. It's the most powerful emotion a human can experience. It's crippling. It's debilitating. It can change the way you look at yourself. You look at others. You it's the number one thing that you should probably work on. If you have any other surrounding issues, everything leads back to shame.

Well, that's what I wanted to talk about. So dating Mia and I had a conversation, I think. We're sitting here and obviously there is an event in your life that happened that I'm sure you're tired of talking about and it has definitely affected your life and and everyone listening. You may or may not know about that event. We're not here to talk about the event. I almost want to start now, like after this. This porn scene goes viral.

Who was that girl the minute that goes viral from then to now, because last night you were saying you're the happiest you've been in your life to have the most isolating feeling like you're alone.

You have people sending you death threats. You have your family at the time not supporting you. Where where was your head and how did you get here today? You know what I'm saying? Like, a lot of people wouldn't have been able to get through that mentally and your mental health. I'm wondering, like, where were you mentally post that video?

So I don't know where I was, because that is around the time that I started dissociating and just compartmentalizing everything and pretending like things never happened to the point where I didn't even talk about porn for the first like three years after I just went quiet, never spoke about it.

Any time I would do an interview. That was the one thing they were not allowed to ask me about. I refused to even acknowledge that I did it. And it wasn't until therapy that I realized how detrimental that is. I can't just scooch things under the rug and hope that they go away. That's not how it works. You have to face them head on and acknowledge them and talk about them. It's that feeling of like I don't want to talk about it because I don't want to bring attention to it, but I need to talk about it because I need to explain myself, because everyone is just misinterpreting the whole thing.

Right.

So it's that catch 22 of not wanting to bring it up and needing to bring it up because it's the it's like the elephant in the room everywhere you go.

I remember last night you saying, like your first the your pseudo name MIA at first was like hard for you at times to hear because you're like, oh my God, it probably brought you back to those days in porn and being like, I don't really want to associate with that person. We were joking.

It was almost like the Miley Cyrus Hannah Montana effect where like you're living two different lives and that mentally can fuck with someone.

Like if you're living two different lives, it can directly affect your mental health. And it's like, well, which one who do you address first, MIA? Or who you actually are? And like, how much of MIA is you?

I guess I'm trying to understand, like as a young woman feeling so alone in those moments, like if you were kind of not thinking about it, what were you doing in your life? Post that video. Like, where did you go? Like, what were you doing? How were you making money?

I was working as a paralegal at a law firm and then I was working as a bookkeeper at a construction firm. And then I was like, OK, I'm tired of living in this five hundred dollars a month efficiency. It was disgusting. It was so bad it cockroach infested. It was the worst times of my entire life.

And you were not really making money. No. And that was like such a like such a topic on the Internet of like, how is your lying about how much money she was making, which I know you were vocal about how you basically didn't make any money from this, the videos that you made, and then they ended up making so much money and like whatever that topic was, I'm sure hard for you because then you're living in slumming it in a place that you're like everyone thinks I've made it like I'm not I don't have shit to have like two million followers on Instagram.

Everyone thinks I'm living it up like that is not the case. And you had lost your Instagram? I did.

Yeah, I, I got high and then I, I didn't I didn't create one for like a year and then I created one in twenty sixteen when I decided to move to Austin.

Why did you decide to come back to social media. Because I knew at that point there is no turning back. Everyone knows who I am. Right. I can't work anywhere. That's why I left the law firm job. It was very uncomfortable for me to work that well. Actually the company dissolved, but I was very uncomfortable working. Explain that experience.

Yeah, it's very weird to go into a job interview thinking, oh, I'm just going to go back to normal life and having the interviewer ask you if. If you if you did porn right, there is no you think they're asking you that because they knew?

Yes, yeah, they recognized me and I went to a couple of interviews where some comments were made. And then I finally got a job at the law firm. And then I got a job working for a friend's company, the construction firm. And then I just realized I. You feel uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable everywhere I go. Like, I can't be sent into the field. They have to be careful about who they let in the office because some subcontractors are creepy.

Like, I started to feel like a burden on the person who was taking a chance on me and giving me a job.

Wow. To say you felt like a burden to the people that were giving you a job. Yeah, you are an educated, smart woman who deserves to be at that job. You made a decision in your life that.

A lot of women make I've made a sex tape with a boyfriend and maybe it didn't happen to go viral, but there was a chance people's nudes get released, people decide to do porn. But I think back to the point of view, being a paralegal, the fact that you were a paralegal, MIA, like your.

I didn't say I was a good one. No, I know you were a good one. No, no. You're a smart, educated woman. So like one that was the first thing.

When I sat down with you last night, I was like, this girl's fucking smart and the same way about you. So but it's it's crazy to then think that you had to feel you couldn't fully. Get into a job and allow yourself to go full force at a job because you were being haunted by a decision you made in your past after you left and decided to get back into social media. What was your mindset like? Who did you want to present to the world?

Were you thinking that you were going to have to completely remake yourself or you knew people were going to comment? Like, how did you how did you kind of strategize?

The way I got myself to Orson was I started Camming and I Kamden Austin for about a year before I decided, OK, I, I don't want to do anything nude ever again.

Can you explain camming to people that it's just like, oh, I had a very different experience with carrying OK, I was probably the worst camgirl in history.

Yeah. I love the things I would leave the camera on in my empty room and here like the tips go off knowing that they're trying to get my attention to come back in. But I'd be watching Netflix in the living room on.

I really guys, this is an unbelievable episode of America's Next Top Model. I can't miss it. Hold your money. I'll be right back. So you were just, like, not invested in it?

No, I was I would know the entire time I was doing it, I was trying to get my foot in the door doing other things, like I was writing for this website called fansite.

And I think their website hasn't been updated since like two thousand five. It's just it's so bad. But I was writing this like weekly column of my top seven picks in football and doing all of these things. You're trying to venture out well. So being like I need to try to make a living and I'll try to do camming while I'm trying to figure out where can I place myself and where will I be able to fit in.

Not something sexually oriented and complex took a chance on me and they gave me a little gig hosting a show with my hero, Gilbert Arenas. That's amazing. Also.

Yeah, well, so you're living in Austin. You go from Camming trying to now find jobs. You get a couple of gigs, then where does your career like where does it take you? So you decide I'm done with Camming. Yeah. When did you make the decision? Was that when you made the decision, like, I'm completely done with anything.

Yeah, sure. Yes. I think it was June 17th. Twenty seventeen. Were you nervous like in that decision? No.

No, because I gave myself a one year timeline and I did it in eleven months. What do you mean a one year timeline? I only wanted to camp for one year and if I didn't figure it out, that fucking sucks. I guess I have to move back into an efficiency. Got it. Your standard.

You gave yourself one year of like you can rely on this like sexual aspect of your career, but once it's done. Yeah.

So and when you're saying, Austin, how did you end up in Austin?

Because you're saying, oh, everything happened in Miami. Oh, like my worst years of my life were played out in Miami, Florida. Do you ever go back there? I went back once. Oh, my God.

Is it scary? It's so scary. Like PTSD.

A little. Yes, yes. I'm very sensitive to No one smells and No. Two places. Right. So any time I drive by a place where, like, something happened or like I have a memory visual trigger.

Yes, very. So being back in Miami was like, God, there was streets. I couldn't drive down those places. I couldn't go to food. I couldn't order commercial.

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We said we're going to keep it vague but toxic, manipulative relationships and men in your life. What do you think was like the reason you got into them and how did you get out of them? I got into them because I didn't think highly of myself. I thought that that was the best that I deserved.

And even more than that, I thought, let me overextend myself and over deliver and over, just just do everything to the extreme to keep this person happy because they are the best that I can do. Right. I can't do any better. How did you get out of, like, one of your most toxic relationships, my most toxic one, I actually got out of around the same exact time that I got out of porn because I came to the realization that these these two things correlate.

Right. And I would not be here if it wasn't for the other thing.

So recognizing that made me. Well, it made me baby grow pretty fast because it made me realize a bunch of other things about myself in the decisions I make, but I think the most that I took away from it was. I have not been thinking for myself and I have been making decisions with other people's best interests in mind, not my own. I've been trying to please people who aren't worthy of that instead of taking care of myself and standing up for myself.

To that so profound to because when I think back to our conversation last night of you being saying it went hand in hand with deciding you were done with porn, deciding you were done with a relationship. The way that you spoken prior to, like, about the effect it had on your life, it also makes sense then, like how you almost probably felt like so out of control of like we and I feel like everyone may have those moments in your life where you go a little too far, like you're dating the bad boy for a little too long and then you're in jail.

Right. And then you're in jail or you wake up and you're like, oh, God. Like, I've been partying too hard and now I'm in jail or I got a DUI and like you went after the video came out, how long after did it take you to be like, what am I doing?

It took it took a took a month or two. Yeah. It took long enough for me to realize I'm being put in danger. Yeah. I'm just going along with what people want to do and I'm putting myself in danger. Like these aren't shackles. I don't, I don't have to be here. No one no one can force me to do this if I don't want to. And as soon as I realized that, I, I knew I could get out.

But do you feel like. What the minute you knew you get out and I guess that's where it almost goes then to what we had been talking about, about your job like. A lot of girls, I feel like, don't get out of it, regardless of whether it's porn. Or a bad relationship or maybe you're not happy where you are in your life like a job or college, like the the concept of getting out of something when you're so deeply, not only deeply ingrained, but then in your situation to the extreme of like, can I get out?

Yeah. Is there where am I going if I get out into an efficiency in North Miami, moving into the cockroach infested. Right. This is how you get out. Right. And so then you're like, so, so that that's what I'm trying to understand. Like as a young you were 21 as a 22 as like a young female with you don't have the finances to be like, oh, I'm out of here, I'm going to go get myself a nice apartment.

A lot of girls usually cling to bad relationships or in your case, stay in something because they're like, I have nothing else. How low mentally? You had to have been to then how strong you were to be like as low as I am, I can't stay here. Did you ever think once you went to the efficiency to be like, I should I just go back? No, you didn't. No. And I did absolutely nothing for a year.

I didn't decide. Maybe it wasn't even maybe I should go back. It was more so like I rationalized what Camming was and I knew I could do it from a place where I felt safe. I could do it from my home. I don't need to see anyone or interact with anyone. And I can I can do what I want to do. Right. So I rationalized that as this is the best decision I can make for myself in my life right now.

Now, I made the decision in a bad way. I could have completely done it on my own. But instead I went back to a place I should not have and worked for them. Got it. People that. Yeah, that, you know, prior. And that was my biggest mistake. How did you I'm interested to know, because I think like the theme of loneliness, I'm sure you can tell me if I'm wrong, but maybe that was probably the loneliest time in your life.

Yeah. Did you have any friends that like girlfriends at the time or were you so isolated?

I was so isolated I had no one but the guy I was dating at the time. And even then my only friends were were his friends. So I had no women. I had no girlfriends. I didn't really speak to anyone from back home. Right. My family wasn't talking to me. I just had these two dogs. I've had I've had these two dogs since I was 18, 19.

Do you understand how that sounds like? I'm trying to like I have so much respect for you because I'm like, you decide to leave the porn industry. Your family is not in your life at that point. You have a boyfriend that was in obviously the best decision.

You're also saying so like you're alone. How like how did you mentally where like you were just blacking out, like how did you even cope with that? Like I feel so I want to give that girl a hug. I feel like any female being by I mean man or female, like being by yourself in that moment, having no one to turn to, no girlfriend you can call and cry to like who were you crying to yourself. And you're like literally myself.

And that little efficiency on the IKEA bed, like I spent so much time in my in my room just crying or going for drives because I felt pretty free being able to drive and having a car. And at that time, did you go out in public and people knew who you were? I was. That was that was one of the things that made me feel even more isolated. I was so scared of going out in public because I was alone most of the time.

I saw my boyfriend Saturday, Sunday, that was it. You know, if I saw him that week, but I was alone most of the time. I was scared to go to the grocery store. I was scared to go do laundry. I was scared to go do anything that required me getting out of the confines of either a car, my four walls, because I had already been at that point followed to my car. Death threats, rape threats, everything you can think of, like thinking at the time, being banned from my home country.

Like I'm literally saying you are not welcome back on our soil, like all of these things that made me feel like no one knows what I'm going through.

And I don't want to tell anyone because I don't feel like. I don't feel like the people I do talk to about it will be able to to fathom what I mean when I say I feel alone, like I feel alone globally, not just like, oh, I'm lonely, right? It's not like, oh, I'm feeling lonely tonight. Yeah, I am. But it wasn't until I started talking about it that I realized so many people feel this way for so many different reasons.

You don't need to have. Twitter completely against you or an entire army on the Internet coming after you for you to feel this way, it can be something as small as. Your family just look like girls or men, you have a family member that doesn't want to accept you and you feel lonely or you have a bad relationship with your parents or your friends, you lose a friend group or you're in college and you find out that your best friend was talking shit on you.

And now it's like, do I need to find a new friend group? Those are obviously lower to what your extreme was. But like the concept of feeling so alone and having no one to go to is something every single person listening to this podcast can relate to. Everyone is fighting a battle that they feel like telling someone about.

They won't understand when you I guess it's just fascinating to me, you being in that low place, because like I said, I have so much respect, like how you were now sitting in this amazing house like. What do you have, anything you remember other than those drives are amazing that you're saying you took. Was there anything else that you would like? Have in your brain that kept you going, like, did you have a goal or did you have like what was what was in your mind of like I am so alone globally, I'm getting banished from where I was literally born.

Like, where did your head go to? Like, what kept you going in those moments?

I don't know my number one, my dog's like what kept me alive and kept me from actually giving into thoughts that were entering my head was literally my dogs. I had no next of kin at that point. I thought, like, I had no one to take them. I was the reason that they would be alive every day. So they consumed my entire life.

And that's why I love them so much, especially this one my first born. You asked me yesterday, who's your favorite?

I was like, oh my. This one. But like that. Right. I know, but I had to ask.

So your dogs, which like people can like, laugh. I think that's like very like reasonable are you have a bond with an animal. Absolutely makes sense. My dogs and finding communities online, like I found a little sports community and I found I just found different different places online that I felt like I could be myself and be at home. And I didn't really start to feel like I had a place in the world until I met my best friend in the entire world, Rachel.

Oh. Who, by the way, is freaking out that I'm on this show. We really shout out Rachel, shout out Rachel. Right. I fucking love you, Rachel Ray.

Not the chef. Rachael Ray. Not the chef. Oh, not the girl that Jay-Z cheated with. Oh, my God. It was like that was her Instagram bio for the longest time. We that is actually amazing. I like Rachael Ray. Like, really? Well, we.

How did you meet Rachel online on Twitter? We started jamming each other. One day we realized we were wearing the she posted a picture on her on her Twitter and then I posted one on mine and we realized we were wearing the same thing. So we literally did each other. Should we move in together? And I said, yes, I'll move to Austin right now. So that is when I up and decided I'm moving to Austin, I have a life.

And Austin now I have a friend. I have my first girlfriend in years. We that's so interesting because I'm going back to. Social media for a lot of people is the antithesis of everything, they're like, I hate it so much, it makes me feel small. At that point.

It was your escape completely because you didn't have to leave your house. It felt weird saying social media was my escape because social media was probably the spark the most of my pain. Right.

But in the beginning, when you that idea of the fact that you couldn't go outside and you felt so unsafe, did you? Was it also safety? But was it also like. No, I wouldn't I don't know if it's the word paranoia, but like does that has that man watched my video? Like, is he staring at me through my clothes type shit?

My anxiety would completely take over. And I couldn't look anyone in the eyes without wondering, oh, my God, how do they know? Right. Do they know. Have they. Yeah. Those thoughts. Oh, like even even being in this room right now like that goes through my head and makes me feel uncomfortable to like walk by people or get too close or like all of these things like wondering like oh did they, have they Googled me before.

Like have they looked at my shit before. Like is that something that still stays with you today. Yeah.

And you're working on that. I am working on it, yeah. I try and ground myself when my when my thoughts go to that and try and think. And right, yeah, like where where what has have you gotten in therapy from that like where do you are you trying to get mentally when you go out? And because I imagine public settings for you, I understand now like full PTSD, anxiety driven. Has this person looked me up before?

Not that there's any fucking thing wrong with it, but understanding that in the beginning, after that video came out, judgment, societal judgment and shame was put on you. You can feel however you want about it and you can have your oh, I shouldn't have done that or oh, I wish I had. But for other people to place judgment on you, that's where I have the issue of like, why do people continue to bring it up?

Nothing is changing from the decision you made and to be the woman you are today, it frustrates me to see people still commenting on a decision you made seven years ago. If we all fucking brought our skeletons in the closet and continued to bring them up every fucking time you post a picture or something, it frustrates me that that is one negative social media, that they can make things live forever that don't need to live forever. People grow, people change.

And again, like I said, you did nothing wrong. So I guess the Rachel, you finding a friend, because that's I mean, any dating listening, like, I think back to like you're saying you didn't have a girlfriend.

It was the first time I felt unconditional love and. Probably since I was a teenager, so you meet online. Did she know who you were? Yeah, yeah, we met on Twitter like she full on, knew who I was right from the beginning, did not care. And from the beginning was my bulldog. And she was the only reason I was able to go out and enjoy things.

And also because for the first time in my life, I felt like I have someone in my corner. If something happens or if someone comes up to me and tries and tries to do something or say something. Right.

Because prior to that you have been fully alone and then any man in your life was also had a hidden agenda. So trust also issues must be huge for you. You really helped me rebuild my trust in people in general. And I think that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be in a place in my life where where I could or I could have someone who deserved me. Right. That's interesting. I think like, it's so crazy because.

Friendship is so underrated because I feel like a lot of time on the podcast, I'll talk about like who is your significant other? And half the time you couldn't maybe have gotten to a place to have a significant other had you not found Rachel first because Rachel was showing you unconditional love. And I'm sure the relationship in that dynamic between you and men was so threatening to you mentally at the time from what you had just gone through to then to have a female in your life.

Maybe that was like the best opportunity for you to, like, start to put your toe in the water. Like, can I trust people? Yeah.

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Let's talk a little bit about with regard to your relationships. I know you had mentioned that you had a very toxic relationship that was you were young and whatever, and you felt like it was a very strange imbalance relationship of him being older, you being younger.

I've had I've been in three relationships in my life, including my my, me and my husband.

Right now go to the first relationship I was ever in was the most. Naive facade of a relationship you could ever imagine. I don't I don't even want to call it a relationship because I was I got married four days after my 18th birthday.

Yeah.

If a guy ever says you're mature for your age, fucking run, run the other way and call the police probably to be safe. That is like that is I'm too old for you, but I'm not cool enough for any girls my age. Like the belittling of you know, that is that is their motto. That's like what they wear on the patch that lets others know, hey, I'm a groomer. Right. Like you, I'm going for younger girls.

Yes. And you're so mature for being a younger girl. Yes.

Oh, you're so sure for your age. Like, it was ridiculous.

I started dating when you were 16. Yes. That's fucking young. Yeah, it was. Do you kind of were like unaware even of really what you were doing?

And then I was immediately thrown into the white Frole and the I need to please him, keep him like do all of these things to make to not make him lose attention or to to not make him lose his focus on me. Right. His interest. Yes.

But do you do you think that was half in your head, half the way he was treating you, or was it fully, by the way he was treating you?

Or do you think it was still in that self validation, like I need him to love me, love me?

I think I was vulnerable enough to where everything that he tried went through like a hot knife and butter. Got it. It was just too easy because I was so low mentally. Yeah. I didn't see anything in myself. I didn't see anything special or worthy or important. And I just I let him tell me what I was worth. That's like a debate statement because we talked about that last night. I remember we were exactly we were standing in the kitchen and we talked about how how unhappy you are with yourself directly affects the partners you choose.

Yeah. And that's why it's so important to have you don't have to have a lot like friends around you. And that's probably why it was hard for you to get out of these things, too, because, like you said, you didn't have anyone to be like, hey, Mia.

Yeah, I like isolated, but moved me across the country and I didn't I was in a completely different time zone than everyone else I ever knew. I was in a new place every couple of years. It was it was insane. Do you have any advice for women that feel.

They are in a day because it's so fucking hard to see when it's toxic. Oh, yeah. And then the toxic becomes addicting and you don't know how to then have a normal, healthy relationship. But do you have any advice for like one like how how to get out? Like, it's not easy, like and it's a process. And I know friends and family members who have been in toxic situations that it's like it's OK if it takes you a year to first start your self actualizing and having the conversation, like how would it look if I leave him and how would this end your safety and what's going to happen?

Like, there's so many things that go into leaving, but for you specifically using your own story, like how could you help younger women or women that are married right now? Who fucking knows how old you are, young you are?

How did you personally be like enough is enough because I couldn't imagine going back to the way things were after I after I came to the realization of this is this is not me. This isn't what I want to do. And it'll be hard and scary. And I do not know what that road looks like like at all. Right. I was fucking terrified, but I knew that I could not go back to that relationship because it would still be that same vicious cycle of the his perverse thoughts and his fetishes and all of these things that I no longer wanted to be a part of or play into or placate or pretend like I had interest in Ryan, because at that point I realized, you don't deserve me.

I am better than you. Yes.

Full judgment. Yes, bitch. I'm so much better than you. Yes.

Oh, my God. I want to cry. But it's so hard to tell women like you're better than that. What you need is to. It's first working on yourself to even know what you need and who you are and not not just working on yourself, but talking to the people around you and not being stuck in that in that mindset of they're not going to understand. If I tell them they're going, they won't be able to comprehend the things that I'm going through.

Yeah, take that step. It's scary, but take that step and talk to people first.

A relationship I wanted to talk to you about in the sense of like. Unconventional sex and things that, you know, there are some girls that are like, hey, like my boyfriend wants me to peg him, is he gay? Like you've had sexual relationships where or a sexual relationship where you were like, oh, this was different. Yes. And and the process of how it transpired and how it unfolded in him explaining to you what he wanted.

Can you can you explain that? Because I think it's not we're not shaming anyone. It's almost like you want to explain the process of how it was presented to you. Yeah. And in a in an accepting way, we want to talk about it. It's call her daddy. Like, can you explain what that dynamic was sexually.

It was the most unconventional and Eye-Opening sexual dynamic I've ever been a part of, and I'm not going to say who the person was, but I do feel like it was very much a shared experience. And I was I was I was 50 percent of that grade and then becomes one of my life experience as well and. I treasure it and I'm still curious about it. Yeah, so I want to talk about because I've never talked about it. Yeah, yeah.

I had a relationship with a guy who was very curious about being the woman in the relationship and dressing, dressing the part, acting the part to the extent of me pegging him and me playing the part of the man. And it started very gradually, like early in the relationship, testing the waters with just my underwear. And then it extended into my lingerie and then it extended into getting him his own lingerie and his size. And then it went into full on wardrobe and outfit and shoes and wigs like really good quality wigs.

Like what we're spending a lot on this high quality taxpayer dollars on a wig one. Holy shit. So and and yes, walk us through because I remember you had said like, how did how did he first engage? Like, how did he first let you know that he was interested in this? Like it was so minor. Basic, right.

It was yeah. It was like very small steps. Right. And I think he at the same time was was experimenting with it. I don't think it was something that was he was also you're saying like coming to this in his own like he never fully got through this. So we were very vocal with each other about about what we wanted to try next and what he wanted to do next.

And I just kind of was like, down, this is your safe space. I you tell you tell me what you want to do next, and I will do what I can to make that a safe, comfortable, enjoyable experience for you. So that ended up being the only relationship where I was cheated on in my life. Like that was one of the worst relationships. The guy that I pegged. Yes, we. What an asshole. Yeah.

You give him the dick and he goes to find you. Did God, not only that, do you know how expensive fake boobs are? No, no. Like my fake boobs. Like fake boobs to put on him to put on a man. Yeah. You bought it. Invested so much into that. Really. I bought myself a dick and you tits. OK, and where do I get where does that get me. You don't you bought him boobs.

Yes. And you bought him wigs. Yeah. Why were you buying it.

Not him. Just cause you had the money or. No. Yeah. You were just you or you were just go to the store and get the shit. Yeah. I would like try it on and got it like the wigs and stuff. So you were fully committed to this which is great on you and we didn't you say last night that was some of the best sex you had ever had though.

Yes. Because it was just like all your inhibitions were of yours. Like we're trying something so different when someone puts all of their guards down and no pun intended, but they are right in front of you and probably the most vulnerable position they will ever be in their entire life. I can't help but feel a connection. The vulnerability aspect like sorry, but pegging your dude in front of you like that man is on all fours mean that becomes a shared experience.

Like what we did isn't just his experience. It was also mine. And it made me question things about myself, like I liked being in that male role. I really thoroughly enjoyed that, like genuinely and right. And I think I'm conscious enough now, like as old as I am after all the therapy I've been in to recognize the difference between doing something to please a man and doing something that I also enjoyed.

Do you think that had anything to do and I could be reaching her? But do you think it also had anything to do with like you've been so out of control in some things in your life that like maybe it was kind of hot for you to view to be the one?

I think a lot of people write it off as, oh, she's a boss at work. So she or no, she's he's you know, he's busy at work. So now he wants to be treated like I think a lot of people write it off as being not.

But what but what I came face to face with was my own gender identity and like questioning who am I, who do I, who do I think I am?

Like, who do I want to be? What role do I want to play? Do I want to be in a relationship with a woman where I can be slightly more masculine and enjoy that dynamic and fascinating that opened my eyes to it. And therapy also opened my eyes to the possibility of. That is probably the case, it's no, it's not just, oh, you know, I'm the boss. Yeah, it's that's pretty surface level, too thought.

That's fascinating.

You had you had those thoughts prior to that relationship or know, I was in I was in a relationship with a woman when I was a teenager. And she was she she was incredible.

And I've I've always loved women. I've never I've never written off dating a woman.

But it made me it made me question what type of relationship I would be in if I was in a relationship with a woman. And it made me realize I think I think I would want to play the play.

I don't I don't even know how to talk it. This is actually my first time ever talking. Oh, I appreciate it, because I know so many men and women.

Right in. And what would my I think it was more of like what would my role be. Yeah, it it made me question what I want, whether I want to be with a man or whether I want to be with a woman and feel, feel that way because I really liked the tenderness that came along with taking. Care of the version right of him that, you know, we explored together, I kind of love that, too, that you're saying like you both were getting so much out of that dynamic.

Yeah. And I think that's a huge point for sexual exploration to daddy listening. It has to be mutual. Yes.

And you have to create a safe space for the person who is just being to being the most vulnerable.

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Can we talk about the thing that I told you right before this interview?

What Malala daddy going. Oh, this is my God, this is and this is what I wanted to talk to her about because I was saying, you know, I wrote down I was like the question of.

How far do we let the public go in defining us as women before we take over and define ourselves? And I am what I'm reading online before this interview, and I'm looking up that Pakistani education activist Malala, who is the youngest woman to just win a Nobel Peace Prize. You tweeted out her? No, I commented on her. And so you comment on one of her tick tock saying queen. Yes. And she commented recently, created one. And she comments back in me.

I didn't even know.

This is like that Yaoundé news to me. I started freaking out. You you sat down and you're like, can I ask you about Malala?

And I'm like, why? Why are we talking about Malala? I'm like, because of the article I was just reading and how she commented back to you. And she's getting scrutinized on the Internet.

I got up, screamed and ran for my phone.

The article discusses how she commented back to you and said, my best. And she's getting was getting scrutinized on the Internet for having any type of relation with you. And it frustrated me in the sense that, like the relationship between the two of you and who you are as women. That says so much to me about that relationship. Why is this woman getting scrutinized for something that happened in your past seven years ago? Look, that makes no fucking sense to me.

And so I thought that that article was profound in the sense of like people on the Internet just want to bring up negative shit to bring up negative shit. You have two unbelievably educated women who are, yes. In their careers doing different things. But at the end of the day, the fact that she has she has respect for you and you have respect for her, and then there's people shitting on her for associating with you. How has that affected you mentally?

Like, have you had issues with people not wanting to work with you or backlash? Like explain that kind of. Yeah. I mean, I've been rejected from a lot of female hosted podcasts like.

Oh, not not brand safe. Sorry. Oh well, I'd call her daddy, your sweetheart. We don't focus on brand safe. We focus on real and authentic. We focus on not losing our sponsors every week. Well, I thankfully I have sponsors that trust me. So here we go. Thank God. But no, I know what you're saying. So people have have turned you away. I've had brands turn me away. I've had podcasts turn me away.

I've had people tell other people not to associate with me because of my past. Like I I'm very used to having that door shut in my face. But it hurts a little bit more when it comes from women and it hurts a little like it hurts even more when I see other women getting shit for interacting with me. Like Mina has started getting shit for following me on Twitter and saying, how can you like how can you be in the position of leadership you are and follow a girl who's on only fans or follow a girl who did this.

And I started to have imposter syndrome like. I yeah, I'm not worthy. Yeah, this woman is a badass leader, and so her her female voice is so incredible and impactful. I started having thoughts of I should probably just deactivate my Twitter. I'm not worthy of having a follow from her. I'm embarrassed for anything that's ever been on my Twitter or anything I've ever said because I don't want to disappoint this person.

And this person is like clean and untouched and you know what I mean? Well, I think MIA one, she clearly sees something in you. She made the decision to follow you. No one forced her to follow you. So give yourself a little bit more credit because seriously, like she followed you for a reason. Also, like thinking about how I've changed as a person in the past year, past two years past three years, not saying that you need to change and we need to wipe clean anything you've done.

You've done nothing wrong. It's not change.

It's growth. That's what we've done. We've grown older, we've grown. We've learned we we see a version of ourselves that we want to be and we go after it. And to be put down like mine is on such a smaller scale. So I never want to compare. But like but you run the biggest podcast in the world. But like we talked about this last night, I was like I have had in the beginning before it got big, my family people were looking at my family like, your daughter is a slut.

Your daughter is talking about blowjobs, your daughter is your daughter is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And my mom got frustrated because the only comments that were ever made was like, what is her father think? What is her dad think? Yeah, why, why? Why? What is it about my dad? What's the difference? My mother birthed me. Why are they so focused on the daughter to father dynamic? And it's just because of societal stigma that people have put on that the dad must be so disgraced that the daughter and it's like, what the fuck?

You just encapsulated Middle Eastern female issues in one fell swoop. I really yeah, that was insane.

The first thing that an Arab woman gets asked is what family are you from? Who's your father like? Any time someone sees someone, sees them doing something haraam or just not up to their standards, the first thing they're asked is what family do you come from? And it's like, does it matter what family? I don't speak for them. Right. Speak for me. I'm my own person. It doesn't matter. Yeah. What does that have to do with my family?

Same thing is to judge your entire lineage based on the decisions they are watching you make.

And then it goes now to someone following you on Twitter now goes all the way to that to be like, why does someone following you? That doesn't mean that that person believes everything you do, but why? It's just so crazy to me. Like and I think it's been frustrating as females to sometimes, like, try to have a voice and then people can't fully take us seriously when we talk about sex or we have had a sexual past like, fuck, first of all, fuck all of you because you've all had sex.

You're alive because your parents were fucking. Maybe I have a sexy son there that's going to come out. Am I not allowed to do something? Because, like, Mia has poured. Oh, my God. To that defines you for the rest of your life. It just it really aggravates me to think about, like, the dynamic of how something in your past can continue to, like people are saying, haunt you. Why?

Oh, I mean, it goes both ways, too. It's either it haunts me like, how dare you have done that? Or I get shit for doing anything I do not like. I'm on only fans doing non nude and people are mad at me for no one not being nude or no to. Having the audacity to be on a site like only fans and not do nude content, we can you explain that?

Yeah. What is your one? How did you decide not to post nude content on only fans?

I just haven't done nude content. I was on Patrón before and I just decided to switch platforms. I was tired of Patreon. It wasn't user friendly. I hated running it. It was too much work. I just decided to do what I was doing on Patreon, but on a different platform and I didn't think much of it. And the reason I switched to only fans is. Honestly, it was meant to just be not I needed to raise one hundred thousand dollars to send to the Lebanese Red Cross after the Beirut blast and I thought only found everyone's own only friends, it'll be the best way to make money.

And then I got shit for using money. I made off only fans to donate to the Lebanese Red Cross. People were like, how dare you send this dirty whore money to Lebanon? We don't need those like what we want.

So you can't you don't you're not in a position to pick and choose where the money is coming from. Yeah.

What like I'm being I you are graciously offering the lira is worth like a fraction of a cent. You have no place to sit and nit pick where the money is coming from. The Red Cross. Did they accept the money.

That's not on them. It's the yes. The Lebanese Red Cross, except donate to the Lebanese Red Cross. They'll accept money from anyone.

It wasn't the people who were actually in charge of getting it. It was backlash from it. Now, there was also a lot of support and a lot of appreciation for Lebanese people. But what I'm saying is you cannot please anyone. You can't anyone.

It's like me. It's like I'm going to use my only hands and I'm going to take all my money. One hundred thousand dollars and I'm going to put it to an amazing cause. And then they're like, that's disgusting, Mia. That's from only fans as you're not stripping, you're not to. And if you were if you were fucking putting a dildo in your pussy, who gives a shit you're giving to an organization. And it's like a cause that you are passionate about.

How has your relationship with swerving here? But like, I'll go back to only fans in a second. How has your relationship after being banned, you banned from Lebanon for how long until they decided that, you know, I was allowed to come back recently.

Right. OK, I relate. My relationship with my home country has changed 180 in the last year.

And it was it was after the Beirut blast that people really started to to to realize what is important in life. Like every everyone was taking stock of of things in their life. And I think a lot a lot of people were just more open minded. We were all just in a in in a mindset of where Lebanese we need to protect each other. We need to support each other exactly like there's not many of us and even our own are trying to kill us, like we have to stick together.

And that is when the conversation around me in Lebanon changed. And I'm so I'm so thankful for it because I think that has to that has to do with why I feel like I'm in such a good place in my life.

Can you explain to me what is your career right now and where you kind of like seeing it going?

I I'm in a weird place in my career right now where I can take it any direction I want. And I'm just so fortunate for that. I have so many exciting things ahead.

But right now I'm loving being on only fans. I'm really, really loving it.

And it's not just me being on there that I'm enjoying. I'm really enjoying learning about the sex work community and getting to know sex workers and hearing all of these different people's stories and their experience in the industry. And I think I think it's very, very important to acknowledge that sex workers need to need to be treated better and need to have more protection.

But I also think it's important to acknowledge the amount of grooming that takes place online when people start glamorizing the industry and porn and all of these things that are really detrimental for young women who are watching and listening and thinking, looking for an out honestly and seeing someone posts like that and instantly think this is my escape because it's not I.

I don't. I don't encourage people to go into the sex and the sex work industry, but I also will die to protect people who are in especially in the last year, like just getting to know so many sex workers and people who basically taught me how to be on only fans because I for four.

For as much as I'm considered a sex worker, I know fucking nothing about the industry and I want to learn because I think it's irresponsible for me to be this, quote unquote, face of it, for better or worse, and not know what's going on with the people who are actually in the industry.

That's fascinating because I. I respect you a lot for saying that that you've at one point really tried to take yourself out of that world and now being on only fans and knowing there are sex workers on there, you do want to continue to educate yourself on a world you were previously fully ingrained in, took yourself out of. And now I remember seeing you doing an interview and you had said even just something as different as adjusting when a say it's a porn company is handing a young girl a contract, kind of like what we were joking about in the perpetuity aspect.

When you're handing a young girl a contract just as simple as she's not allowed to sign it that day. What about even just putting instilling that type of rule just because, like you said, you're sitting there with men staring at you as you're about to sign this contract?

The word perpetuity is on there. You don't what it means, but they're staring at you and you're feeling a little bit like, I guess I should just sign this, because there's three men staring at me and like, I don't understand half of these words and it's like embarrassing. And you don't feel like you just are like, I guess I should sign it for it to almost be instilled that like there needs to be some type of guidance. There needs to be a lawyer in the room to help someone understand what they're trying induction.

Because if the industry is allowed to target 18 year old girls, those girls need protection in place. You just as young females or males signing something that you don't have an understanding of is detrimental, especially when you're in your adolescent age of your brain is still forming. How are you going to make a smart decision when you don't even understand what's in front of you? Exactly.

I mean, there's so many things it's going to be cool to see what happens with our relationship, because we had talked about last night the whole, like, child pornography thing and like what happens when you're younger? And if I didn't realize that when a girl. Yes, sure. If she takes nudes and send it to her boyfriend, most of the time they don't prosecute if it gets spread around because the female underage female also gets prosecuted for distribution of underage porn.

Even though it's her, it's a double edged sword, so she can't. These girls are back at their back, is against the wall because they can't report their image being circulated and sent around by the guy they sent it to because then they would be admitting to procuring, distributing, taking underage pornography. How is that even. It's so fucked up, that's like what did we say last night? We're like, let's put our suits on. What will we wear?

We need to write a bill.

Alex, can you imagine? Yes. Yes, I can.

That is like every episode has taken a turn. Mia and Alex are talking about passing a bill. We will be there and our you are going to be legislators, dude.

I mean, I think sitting down with you has been one of my favorite interviews just because I can tell how one will you are genuinely authentic, so smart, so educated, but also with your past to be sitting with you today, you you can tell you've done the work. You can tell that you have been through an experience. But it's kind of as much as I said last night, like. Although you would maybe take it back when you were younger, like, would you be sitting here had all this not happened?

You know what I mean? I think I think that I would I would take back the reason why I made the decisions I made. But. I mean, it it made me grow up very fast. For better or worse, it made me grow up. I did not get to have the same early 20s as most people my age. And I don't know if I don't know if I regret that, because I think that I would be in a different place at twenty eight than I am now if I did.

I think to hear the way you talk about your husband and to hear the way that you talk about your life right now. My friend Lauren and I are so corny recently, but we keep saying I really do believe everything happens for a reason.

You may not have met him. You may not we may not even be sitting here, you know what I mean? And so to look at the positives about what one point in your life was the darkest place in your life to see the woman you are today and to meeting you. And I feel like I've learned so much from you already. And this is the second day I hung out with you. It's inspiring, honestly, to be in your presence.

So thank you. Thank you so much for coming on. Call her daddy. I'm cheering up. Thank you for coming on. Call her daddy.

I hope that I'm excited to see where your journey takes you and your career, and I'm excited to see where we end up.

I feel like we're already friends. Yeah. Michelle, thank you. Seriously, thank you for putting out the things that you put out because you have no idea who you're inspiring and how much you're inspiring them.

You made me you made me feel like. I can literally do anything I want.

I can start a podcast if I want, like I cannot believe she's doing it on her own, editing it, writing it, doing everything on her own, and also dealing with all of this shit she's dealing with facing the Internet, sitting in front of a camera with amazing lighting and talking about all of it. Amazing lighting. God, it took me that to get the apartment had great window. It did great windows, great exposure of the way you had your walls set up and all of the shelves in the house.

Yeah, we love it. No, thank you. I mean, I have chills just like talking about that video, you see. You seriously made me feel like, oh, my God, anything is possible. Thank you, Mia. You've been amazing, Daddy. Jane, go show her love. Tag yourself where they love you. Daddy. It's just me, al-Khalifa. Go follow her on all things social media. Go subscribe to her only fan so she can continue to use her money for good.

I love you. I love you. OK. Oh, dude, that was great. Thank you so much, Daddy gang. That is it for this week. I hope you guys enjoyed that episode. It was one of the most rewarding interviews I've ever done. Having gotten to know me on a personal level, on a interviewing podcast level. It all was such an unbelievable experience. I hope you guys took something from this interview. I know I did.

And as if this day could not get any better, I wanted to give you guys a quick update that all of the merch that I have ever released in my life.

Tonight is going on sale, everything is 30 percent off ilex export what yes, you heard that right, because I have been working on an entire new merch line. And as I work on that, I thought, why the fuck not do a nice fat fire sale and get you bitches hook the fuck up? So go now. It will be for a limited time. And obviously I'm only promoting it on the podcast for a little bit so you guys can go first, get your merch today, go to Basel Dotcom, go shop, call her daddy and get yourself hooked up with some nice call her daddy gear because I know you bitches just like me are on.

Well, Daddy gang, you know the motherfucking drill. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday.

Six, six, six.