Hi, Daddy gang. It is your father back. Get it again for another flashback Friday. If you're new here, we're doing flashback Fridays from the past three years when caller Daddy was exclusive at Spotify. You guys may have missed a couple episodes and that is not acceptable. So I am curating, essentially a Friday playlist for you of all of my favorite episodes from the past. This week, we are releasing Madison beer. Madison was hands down one of the sweetest people that I have ever interviewed. Everything she's been through in her life, I am in awe of her strength. I just had such an incredible conversation with her and this is why I love this podcast. We get to have such in depth, long conversations and really talk through shit that happens in our lives and trauma and happiness and sadness and family shit, friendship, personal shit. It was really inspiring to see what she's been through and to see how far she's come and the success. I know she's on tour right now, so shout out, Madison, we love you. The daddy Gang loves you. And to the daddy gang that has never heard this episode, here is Madison Beer.

She talks about so many things she had never opened up about. So enjoy. This is Madison Beer.

What is up, daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper.

With call her daddy, daddy.

Madison Deer. Welcome to call her daddy.

Thank you.

I am so happy that we're finally doing this. I know you and I have kind of talked before. We were like, we need to make it happen. And now we're here.

We're here.

It feels right. Thank you for coming today.

Thank you for having me.

I'm going to get into it and explain just like a little recap of things that have happened. At 13 years old, you got your first record deal after Justin Bieber posted a video on the Internet from YouTube of you singing a cover, and it went viral. And ever since then, you have been in the public eye. You have over 35 plus million followers on Instagram, millions on TikTok, millions all over every platform. Crazy. And you're constantly a topic of conversation on the Internet.

Unfortunately, I was going to say, which.

I don't know, like, do you love it? Do you hate it?

Definitely don't love it. It's not fun. Always. Sometimes it's fun when people are nice, it's fun, but people are not usually nice.

The Internet is a dark, scary place. You just released your memoir, the half of it.

Yeah.

And I am so happy for you because, again, I feel like the Internet has a way to dehumanize people to come up with narratives and storylines, and it really was powerful reading your book. I read the whole thing.

Thank you.

You talk about a lot of personal moments and events in your life that I think give us a better insight into who you are sitting here today and how you got here. So we're going to get into it.

Thank you.

Here we go. Let's go back to the beginning to kind of just from start, from scratch. Okay. You grew up in Long Island.

I did.

What is a core childhood memory of yours that's happy and you smile when you think back on it?

I always think about summer camp in a really positive way, which wasn't in Long island, it was, like, in upstate New York. But it was always just sort of like an escape, obviously, from school at the time, and my parents were going through a divorce, it was nice to just have a summer to myself, essentially. My parents used to always joke and say that I was the first kid on the bus and the last kid off. And at visiting day, kids were, like, wrapped around their parents ankles, begging them not to leave. And I was just like, is it over yet? Can you guys go? And I don't know. It was just sort of like my escape place. I lived for camp, so that's definitely my happy place. When I think back to my childhood.

That'S a very cute memory when you say it was your escape place. I know you mentioned your parents got divorced when you were seven.

Yeah.

I think sometimes divorce is so common, but I feel like people forget that it can really shape who you are. How did your parents divorce affect you growing up?

I feel like, for me, I spent a lot of time trying to protect my little brother because he was really, really young at the time. He was, like, four or five, and I remember just wanting to make sure he was okay. And obviously, the change of bouncing back and forth every two, three days was weird and hard, but I don't know. My main focus was him at the time, so I don't feel like I really dealt with it. And then I actually quickly sort of became, like, a mediator in not even their relationship, like, in my dad's relationships with new women or my mom and my dad. I was really lucky that my parents were able to sort of still have a relationship and be on good terms in the same room. I have friends I grew up with whose parents couldn't even speak, so I was very grateful for that. But I think that that was sort of the beginning of aging me really quickly and growing up really fast because I was just put in sort of adult positions, really young, when you talked.

About also being a mediator, I'm also thinking, like, I think every time a kid's worst nightmare is like, who the fuck is going to be my stepmom or my stepdad multiple. Okay, there you go. Was it hard for you to see your father dating new women? And was that a weird dynamic for you?

My dad's going to kill me for talking about this. Love you, dad. It was really weird and really hard. And I think it was hard in ways that my dad. Okay. To contextualize growing up. I think we all have that moment of, like, whoa, our parents are people weird. So that's, like, a moment that I think you have at some point. Now, when I talk about this, I do look back as a man going through a divorce who was going through a difficult time, and I empathize with him in those ways. But at the same time, I look at myself and I'm like, I did have to see sort of this. Like, he's going to kill me. This revolving door of women. And there was a lot of people, and there was things that I just sort of had to see. Whether it was like him kissing someone or even having his arm around someone, that was weird. And, of course, I was very protective of my mom and didn't want her to be hurt, of course. And it was hard, for sure. And my dad got remarried once, but kind of twice. He had a very serious six, seven year long relationship after his second wife.

But it was hard. It definitely also instilled abandonment issues in me very, very young because I would develop this relationship with this woman who I sort of was like, oh, you're kind of my second mom. And I was actually into it because I enjoyed having these relationships with these new women. It was fun. And then I would just never see them again. And it was really hard. And I do look back and think that that is a lot of why I have maybe these attachment abandonment issues. Yeah.

I also appreciate you saying my dad is going to kill me. I think it's a really weird. It's fucking weird. Trust me. I sit here and I've talked about family members, and I'm like, what the fuck? But weirdly, on the other end, and I'm sure you felt this through your music and writing. I can imagine the amount of young women listening being like, I'm in it right now, Madison. One of my parents is going through it, and it's not even to judge the parent again because we're almost now going to get to the age where we're the parent and our kids are like, you fucked me up.

Exactly.

But you can never get over what you saw at a young age. We're so impressionable. Anything we see that doesn't fully make sense to us and isn't, like, cut and dry. It can affect you and you absorb it and it becomes who you are.

I literally have a song about my dad on my album. And it was sort of uncomfortable because the first time I played it for him, we were in a big label meeting with, like, 30 people, and I wanted everyone to know that it was about my dad because it's quite a beautiful song. I kind of am at a place where I'm like, it's okay to write a song that maybe is negative because this is, like, a sliver of my experience with my dad. And he actually took it well. He liked it. He was like, it's beautiful.

Wait, what is the song?

It's a song on my album.

Can you tell us the song name or.

No, it starts with an a. That's all. Okay, that's enough.

That's enough.

That's all I'll say.

In your memoir, you write about one of the most traumatic experiences that you experienced in your rise of fame and your career. When you were only 15 years old, you had a nude video leaked and spread across the Internet. Can you take us back to that moment, Madison, of like, when do you remember finding out that this got leaked and was spreading?

It's unfortunately a memory I'll never be able to shake. It's remained so vividly to the point where I still to this day, if I get a call in the middle of the night, I'm 15 again, and I'm in my room and I'm finding out that this video is out there and it's really scary. So, yeah, so I. Yeah, I was 15. I probably was even maybe 1413 in some of the videos that exist. And I will get to where I'm going with the multiples. Of course, as a young girl, there was a boy that I liked from back home. And when I was sort of already in LA, a bit going back and forth, I started sending videos of myself to him, as I think a lot of people do. And I also won't ever convince myself that a lot of people don't do that, because I've seen tweets of people being like, maybe you shouldn't have been dumb enough to send that to this person. And why would you do that? And I'm like, because I was a young girl with also an app called Snapchat that literally deletes the video after you send it.

What's the harm in that? I remember hearing of this thing called Snap Save, and I was like, what the fuck is that? And someone told me it was an app that you can download that. Basically whenever you open a Snapchat, it saves to your camera roll automatically. And I was like, that can't be real because you know how you get a notification when someone screen records or takes a screenshot? I was like, that something has to notify you.

Yeah.

So I found out that existed, but I just didn't think that the person I was sending this stuff to would remotely ever think to do something like that, because this was someone I'd known my whole life. So I was wrong, obviously. When I first found out that it was going around, I think I was, like, in bed or something and someone had sent it to me and was like, yo, this is going. No, it was like, I just got this sent to me, and I was like, who sent it to you? Where did you get this from? What the fuck? Full. Just like, I just couldn't believe what was going on. So I'm in crisis mode just trying to trace it and do damage control and be like, where did it come from? Because maybe if I find the source, I can stop this. And I knew in my bones that the second it was texted to me, it would end up on the Internet, unfortunately. And I couldn't run from that fact. So it went from that to then my friend in Florida the next day, and this was someone from New York that originally texted me.

My friend in Florida the next day calls me, and immediately, of course, I answer, and I'm like, what? What's going on? And she's like, I just saw this video of you. And she sent me a different video. So now there's two. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I just knew at that point it was spiraling, and I knew it was a matter of time until it got online, and it was so hard to just not tell my mom, and I did not know what to do. And then that night was sort of when I got the, like, no, that wasn't even that night. It was that day, actually. I literally went to dance rehearsals. And I remember I was with my choreographer, and I was just working on dance movement or something for a show, and it was on Twitter, and it was just there. And I was just looking at it, and I remember just dropping to the floor and being like, oh, my God, what do I do? And I reached out to the person who posted it and begged them to delete it, and they just blocked me straight up, just blocked me immediately.

And then now I'm staring at this gray screen with a dull username, and I'm like, I just feel powerless in the moment. And then I'm just sitting and typing my name in quotation marks on Twitter to see everything people are saying about me and just refreshing in real time. And it was just everywhere. And then it was on vine, and it was just on every social media platform possible so quickly. And I didn't realize until years later that I was the victim in the situation. And I don't know, there's so many things I can say about it. And I think that some people who maybe haven't gone through it, or men don't understand how truly traumatizing something like this can be, especially for a minor. So when I talk about it, I've had people, of course, sympathize and be like, that's horrible. But I've also had people be like, who cares? Okay, yeah.

I'm so sorry. First of all, it's disgusting that. Did you reach out to the kid that you were sending this shit to?

Yeah, I did, and I was just really disappointed.

What did he say?

He just denied that he did anything. And I was like, well, you're the only person that I sent these things to. It also then just continued to get worse. So then other videos would be uploaded that would be girls that I could sort of see a resemblance of. They maybe looked like me a bit, and people would think it was me. And then I was put in this position that I couldn't admit to one video and deny the rest. And again, being 15 years old, I just denied it all being me. I was like, this isn't me. It's full stop. Just not me. Because I was also, at the time, the adults around me were telling me that it was bad and it was going to ruin my career. And, oh, my goodness, this is just horrible. And I remember when we were younger, Miley Cyrus had that video for smoking a bong going viral. And I remember thinking to myself, something like that at the time was really negative, that if I'm naked in something, that's a million times worse. And I just remember, I kept thinking about that and just being like, I'm done.

I'm finished. And it was so hard for so long, and I felt like the whole world had seen this video. And this is also the beginning of having real triggerable PTSD from the situation. Because right when I sort of started, a couple of weeks later, being able to breathe again and being like, okay, it's dying down. The Internet's finding something else to fixate on. I got an anonymous text message, literally, like, I was in fucking pretty little liars. That was a picture of a computer screen with, like, 50 videos on it that were all, like, little. And I'm looking at this and it's blurry, but I can see exactly what it is. And again, for anyone out there who's like, that's a lot of videos. I was a young, horny kid that sent videos to a guy that I liked. I'm not going to let anyone shame me for it, because it is what it is. But it was a lot. And I just was staring at this, and I couldn't believe that they had everything I'd ever sent. And I know that in some of these videos, again, I'm like, 13, 1415. These are like, year.

I'm not talking about a day. These are years worth of nudes I'm sending to this kid. So that just instilled a whole other level of paranoia. Am I being watched? Does someone have my Snapchat hacked? What is going on right now? And I think what was the most difficult part was knowing in my bones that I wasn't the one who was at fault, that the boy who betrayed my trust was the one who should be at fault. But that was also me learning very quickly that men and women get treated very differently.

I appreciate you saying that, because as you were saying, I love that you said, I'm not ashamed. It's so sick and sad. There's so many people that may listen to this and being like, it's her fault. Why would you send that shit? You said you could have filled one fucking computer. I could have filled 20 Madison.

And we're all young women that are like, right? We get Snapchat, social media. We're, like, exploring our bodies. We feel good.

We're going to take a picture.

A lot of us are going to take a picture.

And there is something to be said also of, like, I remember there are moments of kind of peer pressure of the guy you're talking to is asking for it. And you're like, I feel uncomfortable. I want to impress him.

So if I don't do it, another girl will. All that.

Then you start sending it, and then it opens up the floodgates, and it's like, it doesn't stop. And I appreciate you clarifying, though, and we will get to that in a little bit of like, you are the victim here. Could you not have pressed charges on this kid?

I could have, I think. But I feel like maybe this is a downfall to me, but I look at it as a, I guess, good thing. Even though maybe there are people in my life who should be held accountable for things. I just feel like we were so young and he was a young boy and he was 1415 years old himself. As much as I was hurt, I don't know. I don't hold it against him. And maybe that's wrong, but I don't think that he's evil. I think that the people who are evil are the people who he didn't post on the Internet. I think he saved it to show his guy friends and look and act cool, which is wrong. I'm not saying that that's okay at all, but he was so young. I think he was just like, look like hot girl sending me nudes. I really just don't think it was malicious. And that's been something that I've had to come to that place because I have seen people do evil shit. I've had people in the last. So on my 21st birthday was when I posted on International Women's Day, saying, sort of like, I take back the anxiety and the shame that I felt all these years, and I'm not letting anyone control me because I had someone threatening me at that time being like, I'm going to leak this.

You're a whore. Everyone's going to know all this stuff. And to me, that is a malicious person that is trying to use revenge porn. I don't think that the guy who did this was doing that to me. And I know people are going to.

Be like, that's no to back you up there. At first I will say my jaw dropped a little. Fuck that motherfucker.

No jail.

I get what you're saying. Again, we're having a conversation about minors. So I think it's like, I get what you're saying. Where there is also a bro culture that has been instilled of him being able to puff his chest around the kids in elementary school, middle school, high school, to be like, look, I got these nudes. But it wasn't his intent to then be like, I want the world to see this. There was no. Again, this is though a fucking PSA to any men or young boys listening. This can ruin someone's fucking life.

Many girls have committed suicide over this. I attempted to over this. This was something that was weighing on me for years and years of just like, it just also was like, I felt so betrayed and not even by. Yes, by him, but also by a girl. Was the person who first uploaded it. I know for a fact because we traced. So also, I discussed this in my book. I had to hire a web sheriff is something that I didn't even know existed out of my own money. Every dollar I'd earned up until that point in my career, I then spent on clearing this and scrubbing it from the Internet. And something that I want to bring this conversation back to is that I am hopeful that now the Internet would protect a 1415 year old girl who had something like this happen. I think it would be removed on TikTok instantaneously. Removed on Twitter instantaneously. I didn't get that privilege. And I think it was just a different time in 2014, and people had little to no compassion for me specifically. And yeah, I sort of just got the sharp end of the stick. That was really difficult.

And it was spreading on, I remember specifically Twitter and vine, like, wildfire. And just people, not one person was like, isn't this girl a minor? Isn't she really young? Like, no one said that. It was horrible.

Okay. Also, to just people that weren't, obviously there had to read this. Can you remember what was being said on the Internet about you at that time?

Well, first of all, of course, so much endless sexualization of just even grown men participating in the conversation of like, oh, I want to fuck her, and she looks so hot and this and that. And it's funny, obviously, when you're young, you don't realize how young you really are. And so at the time, I knew it was inappropriate, but I wasn't as shocked and disgusted as I am now. But I do remember warning for the graphicness. I remember there was a video that I saw, and it's one of those things that once you click it, you're sort of in this trance of like, oh, my God, this guy had the video, one of them, on his TV in his room, and had, like, a sex doll. And he was just, like, having aggressive sex with this sex doll while watching this video of me of a 14 year old little girl. And it was a grown man, like, visibly a grown adult. And I remember just like, first of all, being reminded of being sexually abused as a child, and I couldn't take my eyes off of it because of how shocking it was. That was also, like, the day I discovered what being triggered was.

And I had so many feelings and emotions of that image will never leave my head. I was so disturbed by it and so afraid. I felt so unsafe and just scared. And there were so many layers of peeling the onion of that, of how that made me feel. And again, just no one saying that it was wrong.

There's so many things to unpack.

Yeah, there's a lot.

Talk about in your memoir, kind of how, like, all of these people are online, they're calling you a whore, they're slut shaming you. They're talking about you. You're a minor. I also vividly remember the scene it made me want to vomit of. It could have been like a 45 year old man or like a full grown man getting off to you again as a fucking minor. And Henry, sit down.

Come here, Henry.

Oh, he goes back. You mentioned in the book that you were abused as a child. And I thought it was really sad but insightful to hear you talk about these comments that were being said to you. Of course, they were so hurtful. But what people didn't understand was how fucking painful they were for you to be called a slut and a whore. And yet you are looking at yourself. Barely have ever been in a sexual relationship at this point in your life. Can you go back a little to your childhood? And as much as you're comfortable sharing, how did you handle what happened to you and how old were you?

Yeah, I think that I never have spoken about anything like this up until now, because I just didn't feel like there was a platform or a place to do it that felt appropriate. And that's why I felt like the book was a great place to do it. And I didn't want to go too much in detail because you can't really put a trigger warning on a book. So I just wanted to sort of allude to that. Well, okay. So, firstly, yeah, there was someone in my childhood that was around me frequently that I had an inappropriate relationship with. Very early on. I would say, like, probably. I don't even know. I would say maybe six, seven. I'm not sure. It sort of began. And I've also. I want to say I've come to peace with this because I feel like in talking in person with some people about this, I've been able to join this community of women specifically, that I feel really proud to stand amongst, genuinely. So I remember feeling really dirty after all of anything I would endure, whether it was whatever it was. And I just remember feeling like I had done something wrong.

Not being able to fully articulate what. I don't know. I feel like I just look back and being someone who had gone through all of this so privately, whereas my own family didn't even know about this until. I mean, this might be news to some people in my family, but my mom, I didn't even tell my mom till years later.

Who is the first person you told?

Man? My ex boyfriend was the first person I told, I think, like, ever. I sort of also blocked it out for a really long time, and I didn't want to accept that it had happened. Dating that person and having everyone online call me names like a slut or a whore and stuff, when in reality he was the first person who ever laid a finger on me consensually for a fact. And it was really difficult to have people, especially like, people who would speculate about all the other guys that I had in theory hooked up with when they were actually just my friends. I never hooked up with any of them. I might have kissed one or two of them, but that was the extent of it. And people were just like, oh, she slept with all of them and she did this. And I'm like, whoa, you guys don't even know. It took me so long to have sex with my first boyfriend because I was so afraid and traumatized. So it just goes to show that people really have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.

No, I agree. It's like there was such. This sexualization of you on the Internet. I remember doing research for this, looking up that first kind of public relationship that you had, and this kid had a following, and you had a following again. How old were you?

Like 15 when we started. 15. Okay.

And so it's like we have this incident which I do want to go back to because I do think, sadly, so many women actually experience revenge porn and blackmail. But then you have this multiple moments where you're then dating this kid and there's people on the Internet slut shaming you, being like, she's a whore. She's fucked his friends again as a child, having been abused, then having the most violating experience with your nudes, and then having people look at your romantic relationship. None of this is any accountability to any man in any of these situations. It's you. You and your body and the fixation on you. It's so fucking sick. And it makes me so upset because again, it's like. And I not back to the kid that released your nudes, but it is kind of like, where is any accountability for any men in this situation?

Well, in this society, we don't hold men accountable. It's like, even have you been seeing this whenever there's, like, a girl who posts sexual things online, they're like, fatherless behavior. I'm like, why are you blaming the girl if she doesn't have a father? Why are we not blaming a father who walked out on their child potentially question marks.

It's full question mark.

It's just always like, it's how I think. And I think there's things like that that we've become so accustomed to that we don't even realize these are men who will comment like, fatherless behavior. And I'm like, do you not realize that you're saying something horrible? The call is coming from within the fucking house. What are we talking about? Why are you blaming a girl? Okay, so you're saying that this girl turned out this way, which you're again, portraying as negative, yet you're also addicted to fucking porn. And let's not even get into that. So you're going to then blame and shame a girl who's posting with her boobs looking, whatever, and say fatherless behavior. But we're not going to talk about the fact that you're not discussing that. Maybe a parent actually did walk out on this little girl. And that's horrible, right? Like, what the fuck are you saying? I'm sorry.

No, it's fine. No, I get upset, too, because it's like, back to this whole exploitation of your life, I guess. I didn't ask you how did you tell your family when all this was going down?

It's like another really fucked up story that you actually won't even believe sometimes. And I have to laugh at this point because I'm like, my ex boyfriend's Snapchat got hacked. And I'm on FaceTime with him and I'm like, hey, babe, why are you typing to me on Snapchat? Because he sends you a notification when you're typing. And he's like, I'm not. And he goes and opens Snapchat. He's logged out our conversation about a week prior that we used to save all of our conversations. Even if they were ones that we wanted to delete, we would save them, whatever. So he types to me a message that says, basically, I hacked this person's Snapchat. And I know that you were R worded, and I'm going to tell the entire Internet if you don't follow me on Instagram and do X, Y and Z. And I was like, what the fuck? And I'd only told him this in person, like, a couple months prior, but we were talking about it on Snapchat because something had happened. I forget what. Obviously that upset me. And I was just talking to him about know because this happened. I feel really upset and da da da.

And I was now being threatened to release, basically to do things, to shout this person out on Instagram and to do things online to benefit this guy or else he was going to leak this information to the public. So in that moment, I was like, well, this isn't how I want my mom to find out. So I had to call my mom and be like, hey, something might end up on the Internet that I think you should know. Yeah, that's why I just laugh, because.

I'm like, Madison, just crazy. Wait, and that's unreal.

Sorry.

To confirm that was over the nudes or the sexual abuse when you were younger?

No, yeah, that was over. The sexual abuse when I was younger was literally someone threatening to leak it online. And my mother had no idea that I ever endured any of that, so I literally had to call her on the phone. What the fuck?

No, I get what you mean, though. You almost have to laugh through it.

Because I obviously know I've cried enough. Yes, I've cried enough. My whole past ten years have been. Not even. My past 24 years have been filled with tears that I'm like, I'm at the point where I've just accepted things and I'm just like. I feel like I've made lemonade out of lemons and I feel like I'm a good person. And I feel like in a fucked up way, all of these experiences have shaped me to be better, that I'm like. I also want to say that I think that because I'm coming across light hearted about this, I obviously want to say that this is something with extensive therapy that I've been able to have the perspective of. Like, I do believe. I don't want to say everything happens for a reason because the biggest thing I say in my book is that just because I endured these things and turned out okay and I was able to turn these things into, in the most fucked up way, a positive, it doesn't mean I should have had to go through them. And that's been the biggest thing with therapy that I've learned, is being able to tell myself, like, you didn't deserve these things.

And just because you've done, just because you've shouldered them gracefully and you've been able to survive doesn't mean you should have gone through them. Just because you're able to talk about it and hopefully help other people does not fucking mean that anyone nor myself should have gone through these things. So that's something that I've been able to just give myself. So I want anyone watching or listening to know that I'm at peace with these things. But I still, like, literally two nights ago, I was so triggered and so upset about something that happened that I was dissociating and didn't know where I was and was very afraid and felt like a little girl again. I have a lot of issues still that I'm very much so working through. So I don't want people to think I'm just like, ha, okay about it. I just can't break down and cry about it every time because I'm just at a place where I'm like, it sort of just is what it is.

You don't have to tell me. You can be like, next, but do you mind sharing? What is it that would trigger you, like, the other day? What makes you dissociate and go into a different place?

Yeah, there's a few things. I'm really petrified of the dark, which I have a hard time saying publicly because I feel like the paranoia. I have also horrible paranoia, which as you can see, why the paranoia and me thinks someone's going to purposely do that to me and put me in a dark room or a dark place and just want to see me suffer. So that's why I've never really talked about it. But I also discussed in the book on tour, obviously, we have blackouts after every song. I had to do like submersion therapy almost, where I had to work myself up to going from a 0.5 2nd blackout to a three second blackout and being able to sort of be okay in those moments. And I had to literally submerse myself in it and get through that. And that was something I worked on with my therapist before I went on tour. And now I have this simple yet effective thing where I sort of do this and it helps ground me. It's weird and people don't really see, but when I do have a blackout, there will be people on both sides of the stage with some form of light that just helps remind me where I am because I can just get lost in it.

And sometimes I'll feel like I'm in the place that I was abused and whatnot. So I just need something to kind of ground me, whether it's like, okay, I'm here, I'm at my show. I hear my fans screaming I'm okay. Or looking to the side of the stage and seeing. There's one song I have called sour times that has quite a long blackout at the beginning at my concert. And if you look at videos, you'll sort of always see me looking off to the left or right at my dancers. Because if I know people are there, I'm okay. Yeah, but I have such an amazing. What's helped me so much is I have such amazing friends and family and relationships with people that, for example, when I go to universal, if I'm in a dark ride, someone will just hold my hand and be like, I'm here with you, and it's okay. And it's so nice. And to have people that just sort of don't make it like, oh, she's so dramatic, or she doesn't, because I'm not going to also go into depth and explain to everyone what happened, or, hey, just letting everyone know I'm really scared of the dark and don't ask why.

It's just not something I care to really make public or talk about. So it's really nice when I have someone who's able to just be like.

Hey, I'm here and you're good one, I appreciate. And we are talking in bits. People have to go read your book because you did such an incredible job bringing us through everything you've been through. But the amount of women that have had some type of sexual violence or sexual abuse, is there anything that has specifically helped you cope that you could share with people that are also kind of in this really deep healing journey right now and trying to find a way to keep going.

I mean, there's so many things I can say. I think that there's like endless things I can talk about. I think everyone's also situation is very specific to them, so it's hard to give, like a marginalized. This helped me. I know that setting boundaries, it sounds vague, but that's been super huge for me, is just being able to be like, hey, I'm uncomfortable with the topic of discussion here, or I don't want to be in this room, or that person makes me uncomfortable. Just little things like that. And being able to, I always say, be your own best friend and look out for yourself the same way you would look out for your best friend is really helpful. And I think just being patient. It took me years and years to be able to even discuss this. I think that anyone who's a fan of mine is going to be like, what? We had no idea. And I've been very open and candid about a lot of things that I've gone through, but this has never been something that I've been ready to talk about. And, yeah, I don't know. It's all a journey. There's no right answer.

There's nothing that anyone could say to make it okay or go away. And I think just. I don't know. Hopefully wishing anyone who's listening to find peace someday. It's really hard, and I don't know. There's literally nothing I can say. It's very difficult. Yeah.

You mentioned while you were talking about everything with what happened with the nudes, which I think is very fucking important to talk about, is people behind computer screens have fucking forgotten on their little fake accounts, or even their main accounts, if they are, like, shameless. Literally, we have forgotten. Even if you're posting something that's, like, funny, and then you're like, was that insensitive? We have forgotten because social media has completely desensitized us, how hurtful things can be. And there is not even enough hours in the day for us to have this conversation. But you just said casually, you were like. And that also led me to attempting to take my own life. And I just want to talk about that for a minute because it's so fucking real. You fucking lived it. And you can talk about it, but it's like, we have to talk about it because people need to fucking realize what their words can do. And so you sitting there by yourself as a minor, going through this shit, it's so sick. Can you try to articulate? And it's not your job to write the wrongs of people, but maybe there's someone listening that will never write a negative comment again because you're someone sitting here that has endured so much online bullying.

Where do you go when those type of comments come on your feed and come on your posts?

I think that it's something that I still, unfortunately, struggle with, which should speak volumes to anyone out there who I don't want to say is a hater, but is a hater not only to me, to anyone. It's been over ten years, and I still have not gotten used to it. I recently walked a carpet, and people just had a million negative things to say about my body and how I looked, and it was really hurtful, and I had a panic attack about it. And so I think, again, it's something that you never get used to. I was raised, because I was raised in the industry, to be told and to tell people it doesn't affect you. And you're strong and it was done with the right intention, I believe, of if you want to be a good role model for your fans and let them think that you're this strong individual that doesn't let things get to them, which is what I want my fans to think and people who look up to me, whatever. But it felt so disingenuous to me. And I was like, it does get to me, though. And I spend every night crying my eyes out because people are so vicious that I don't feel right when an interviewer is like, how do you deal with hate?

I'm like, it doesn't affect me. It's fine. I was like, this needs to be something that I'm honest about. So I just stopped with that nonsense because I felt like it was really silly and I felt like I owed it to people to know that their words hurt. And even if that's honestly what they wanted to hear, because some of them probably got satisfaction hearing that I was affected by their words. But it's important and I think it's never going to end. I think people should know that your words have power. I think that people's digital footprints should be more serious, that say things like, kill yourself to people. And there's also people who I've spoken to who haven't ever dealt with it who are like, just turn your phone off. Why do you even read it? I'm like, it's not that simple. And especially someone like me who has been, unfortunately, scrolling and scrolling through hate comments since I was twelve years old. It's become like part of my nature to seek out what people have to say about me. And it's been something because I'm also just being completely genuine. I'm someone who does care about what people think about me.

I pride myself on being a kind individual who has a good heart, that wants to make people feel good. I think that that's what life is about and I want people to be happy when they're around me and whatever the fuck it is. That's something that's really important to me and has been deeply ingrained in me as a human being. So when I read tens of thousands of comments of people saying things that I know are so far from the truth about me and my character, it bothers me and I can't help it look, and I can't help but be upset by it. And it sucks. And I wish I didn't care, but I do.

Yeah, that was something in your book that I was like, fuck, this is dark, because it was like you were like at that age, at 1514, when those were released, you were like, I was using all of my money to have this person try to get them off the Internet. But you were personally going through each website, each forum, getting the. Sending them and sending them to this guy. So you are having to watch the man jerking off, fucking the doll, doing everything you were seeing everything, everything. And to have that level of violation to then paranoia, and then to have to read every fucking comment and looking like, what do they say? What do they say? I don't think people understand. I understand. It's like, oh, what was you? You choose this life. If there was a fucking forum, I want everyone to pause for a minute. If there was a forum that you knew, you're sitting at home right now. If you knew someone was writing things about you, ten out of ten times, you're fucking clicking.

Well, it's funny because I'll have friends of mine who will say similar things of like, well, you sort of chose this, and if you can't handle it, you shouldn't be in your position. I'm like, well, why does being in my position mean I have to endure abuse?

You talked about this red carpet moment, and I feel like there's so many people that are so fucking fascinated by your looks and your body and what you are doing, and people have so much to say about. It's like, fuck you. You look perfect. Fuck you. You're setting an unrealistic beauty standard. There's all these people. But I'm like, okay, let's pause for 5 seconds about what anyone else fucking thinks. How do you feel about your body image and your sexuality now?

I think that it's very hard. I mean, it was something that was scrutinized publicly for so long, but it's, again, it goes into, I think, being a woman and people objectifying you and looking at you as just a pretty face and nothing more. And if you ask a man to name three women who inspire him, he probably is going to have a very difficult time doing so. And obviously there are some men who can. There are a lot of men who can't. And I think that society in general objectifies women and makes them to be not talented enough, not smart enough, not good enough, not articulate enough. And I don't know, I feel like it does sort of feed into all of it. I feel like it's interlocked in this weird, misogynistic way. And I don't know.

No, I completely agree. I think listening to everything that you've said, reading your memoir, it feels really disheartening of the lack of protection you had as a young girl, the exploitation, the violation. And there's this sense of entitlement that men have over women and our bodies. And we essentially come into this world and it almost feels like we have no autonomy over our bodies. Look at the fucking abortion issue we just dealt. Like, it is really sad. And I think. And you don't have to comment on this, but it's the truth. Then there's a different level also for a very attractive, like, we just watched the Pamela Anderson doc, and it's like the world also believes. Listen, the world believes that if you're a pretty woman, they're entitled to look and get off to and stare at your body. And it's so dehumanizing. And it is also completely stripping you of your ability to feel like you're going to be seen and heard for what you've been through. And it is like, I fucking hate everyone.

It's really difficult.

It's like I want to scream when I have conversation because it's all the.

Time, all hours of the day.

It's awful.

I just don't think that men ever get that same level of objectification of, like, you're just something pretty to look at. And I'm like. But I feel like I have a lot to show that isn't just that.

It's always the.

I'm like, I have a platinum single, right? The fuck? Thank you.

It's like, oh, God, she seems angry. I am. I am angry.

Literally generational.

And we're two white women sitting here. So it's like the fucking layers that go underneath it of, like, never. Women, minorities, underprivileged. Like, it's never ending, it's never editing. So everyone that has a penis listening to this, just fucking hear us a little bit today.

Seriously.

In your memoir, you write. And I just think it's important to read this because a lot of what we've talked about, this is an interesting summation of how you wrote this. You said, it feels like my entire life's journey thus far has been a perfectly crafted cocktail of situations that landed me at this borderline personality diagnosis. As if my biography could be written, entitled how to give someone BPD a step by step guide. What do you want people to understand from you writing that?

I think that when I read. When you read something about your astrological sign, you're like, that's so me. I feel like when I first discovered not only what BPD was, but how one can become diagnosed with it or what the things that have to sort of happen to a young, developing mind in order to. Whatever. I literally was like, this feels scripted. It felt humorous to me because I was like, this is just such a recipe for disaster, honestly. And I knew that it was the right diagnosis for me when I was diagnosed with it because, of course, it just felt so right. But it just felt like I was like, was this. The goal in my life was for people to give me this disorder? I don't understand it. I don't know. It's very strange.

I mean, there's so many different stigmas around so many different mental health disorders or things people are going through. But specifically with BPD, I think there's such a lack of education around this topic. And I do appreciate you saying how to give someone BPD. Not that any mental health disorder is anyone's fault, but this is not something you were born with. This happened to you. Yeah, it develops, and it develops through trauma and childhood. And so I appreciate you writing this because it's like, let's have a little fucking empathy and compassion. When someone says that they are struggling or they have BPD, that's actually such a great way to start a conversation with someone of like, I'm here for you. I want to listen to you. I want to understand you. I want to understand what you've been through. You're not a bad fucking person. You're a wonderful person with a great heart, and you had a lot of fucking shit happen to you. But I just felt like the way that you wrote it, people don't understand it. And I really appreciated the way that you said that, of how to give someone it.

This shit happened to you, but you're alive and you're here and you've powered through, thankfully.

Yeah. And I really appreciate you saying that. It's hard to think about my younger self. Sometimes I get really emotional about it because I just feel like I, of course, am really grateful for the place that I'm in, and I'm really grateful for the insight that I've been given and all of that stuff. But I think about my younger self, who there was so many times where it felt like the only way out was to end it. And I don't know, I just feel like I am grateful for sure, for everything, because I feel like I wouldn't be the person I am today if literally everything didn't happen. But it's hard to come to terms with a lot of these things, and it's hard to not feel bitter, I think, towards people because, and that's the biggest thing that my therapist, who's amazing, always says to me. And she's like, I'm so glad that you've never turned cold to people, and you're still warm and fuzzy and friendly and you want to be friends with everyone and you still have faith in people. But it's a lot. It's hard. It's a hard journey.

I'm happy I read the book because I am, too. Again, there's so many good things in your life, and there's really hard moments. And you write about a lot of heavy stuff in here, about multiple times, thinking about or trying to take your life. And in the summer of 2019, you wrote about how it was, like the best part of your career. You were at a career high, but personally, you had never been lower. What were you going through?

That was the year that I started to really face everything that had happened to me in my younger years. Whether it's, like, coming to terms that so many people have the wrong idea of me or the sexual abuse or people have naked pictures of me, there were so many things that I felt like were just really catching up with me. That was the age that I started to feel a lot of guilt around my little brother because I feel like I sort of uprooted and changed his life without him having any say over it. And I still feel guilt surrounding that to this day because I know how it was to get my childhood sort of taken from me in ways that he didn't even have a choice. It was like, you're just along for the ride, and I feel so sorry for that to this day. So that was a lot. And I had a lot of things just really weighing on me heavily for so long. And I just felt like also, nothing would ever change. I felt like I would live in this sort of begging to be seen place for the rest of my life.

I was like, no one's ever going to know me, and I'm never going to have a real friendship, and I'm always going to be betrayed or blackmailed and just so many endless things. I'm never going to be a successful artist. There was so many things weighing on me that I started self harming again, which I had been clean for a while. And so that was, again, something that was like, oh, you're weak, and you did the wrong thing, and whatever. So I just felt like it was something I'd been thinking about for a really long time. I also always said to people, and this is horrible and dark, but probably from starting at like 15, I would always tell people, because, you know, you have this conversation, do you have any idea of how you think you're going to die? I would always say, I know I'm going to die from suicide. I know. And now that makes me so sad because I just think about that child who was just hurting and felt like she was screaming into a void all the time and no one cared to listen. And that just makes me really sad.

And I wish I can hug her. I thought that everyone on the fucking face of this earth would have rathered me dead. And so I did attempt twice. And, yeah, I'm really grateful that I was obviously unsuccessful, but I think people need to understand that it's really serious and not something to joke about. And my life was almost over. I almost died. I almost was dead because of all of this. And it's a lot to comprehend. It's a lot for me to think about. It's a lot for me to accept that people made me feel that way. People kicked me while I was down and just, like, did not give a fuck, did not look at me as human at all. I would think about the tweets that would be posted the next day. People, like, laughing and making fun of the fact that I was dead and I knew it would happen. That was the sickest part, was like, I still know to this day that if it happened, people would joke about it. Because I've seen people joke about the most horrible things ever online. And I think it all just ties back into the fact of, I just hope for a day of people having empathy and people not judging each other and being able to be kind and loving.

But I definitely don't feel like I have this suicidal ideation thing in me anymore. But I still have really horrible, dark days to this fucking day that I just feel defeated. And there's so much grieving I do from my younger self. And there's so much, like, I am a bit angry a little towards the Internet in some ways. I feel like I never got an apology from a lot of people. I don't know. I feel like I'm still also made fun of all the time. I'll talk in a video and people will be like, she's so cringey and embarrassing.

Does it make you nervous?

I never want to talk ever again? No.

But I'm wondering, will you have anxiety before this comes out?

I'm like, already? Like, can we restart? Literally? I'm like, no, it's how I am.

But that is why I do appreciate.

Podcasting, because I'm like, I wish people were just nice. It's so crazy. That's like a huge ask of people. Can you just be nice and not.

We're going through it.

Listen to what you're going through. I'm in pain. Right? Please. It's just too much.

You are currently in a relationship. We don't need to talk about your relationship. But I do want to know about you in relationships dealing with everything that you're going through. And it seems like, again, you said 2019 was when you kind of really started to break in to everything that happened to you. And I also want to say people that are going to start therapy, it is a motherfucker at first to open up Pandora's box and be like, whoa. But when you finally even get a little bit on that other side of.

Like, it's the best.

It's the best. And you find a reason to live and you find a perspective that you could have never had. When you're in a relationship and you're going through all of this, how does having a partner and having to have someone in your life and be in this dynamic where you have to be not selfish all the time and not focus on yourself, how does that affect your mental health of being in a relationship while you're going through this mental health journey?

I think there's two sides of the coin. I think on side a, I recognize that I've become definitely very codependent. I've had three now long term relationships in my life, back to back. I've really never been single. I've just been in very serious relationships. I think that is because of my deep rooted abandonment issues and attachment style and whatever, and I am working through that. But I think on the other side, it's been amazing. And I feel like I've been able to. Obviously, breakups are really hard, but I think in all three of my relationships, I look back and I feel a lot of support at times from those people. And especially in my current one, I feel supported and I feel, like, taken care of in a way that I can break down and I have someone to lean on. And I think it's important.

What's a red flag in dating that you used to ignore that you would. Now if you saw it, you would run the other direction like you used to put up with. But you're like, no, not now, bitch.

There's a lot. Okay, first being when guys, I know this is so basic, but when guys say, like, my ex girlfriend is so crazy. I'm like, oh, so you were horrible and you don't want to be accountable is what you're trying to say. Cool. So that I don't like at all. I feel like also, you can't convince me that your ex girlfriend was just, like, crazy for no reason. You definitely caused her to be that way. So I don't really give a fuck what you have to say about yourself.

It's your fault.

It just drives man sane. And I've heard people say it, and it won't even be like, forget red flag. In dating, if I'm in a room of boys and they're talking about even a girl they've slept with in a negative way, I'm like, twitching. I'm sitting there like, are you fucking joking right now? Who raised you? But, yeah, I hate. I especially can't handle it in a guy who's like, my crazy ex girlfriend. I'm like, sir. But other than that, I think that someone who, like, I don't know. There's so many things I can say. I think hygiene is, like, huge. Brush your teeth, please. I'm begging you. Please brush your teeth.

We just went from, like, crazy eggs. Like, hygiene, Alex, it is through.

Wash your hair. It's been three weeks. Please, I'm begging you. I'm literally begging. I'm dead.

That's the last thing I thought you would say.

Hygiene, please.

Okay. Hygiene.

And when someone says their hygiene, and when someone says their ex girlfriend is crazy, I don't believe you for a fucking second.

Something that I love to do on call her daddy is like, if there are rumors or if there have been anything kind of out there that people are speculating, I'm like, let's just get to the bottom of it.

Sure.

People are so fucking confused. Like, this video came out that Justin posted of you, and there's so much controversy on the Internet. Like, you may have had connections to him and people before. And I'm like, who cares if that's the case in any way, shape or form? Did you have or anyone in your family or anyone know anyone in Justin's camp and it wasn't like, a random thing that he stumbled upon you on YouTube?

Definitely no correlation to Justin. I was Justin's biggest, biggest fan. Let me make that very abundantly clear. He was my lock screen when I met Scooter. I was, like, crying my eyes out, screaming when Scooter played me boyfriend the day that he signed me. There's a lot of things, but at this point, the truth is all that I really care to talk about because I think that it just doesn't matter at this point. It's ten years ago. So literally, to break it down quite simply, my mom and dad have no music industry correlation. My mom was an interior designer, my dad was a builder. It just was not part of our life. The only person that my mom knew as I was younger that sort of had an in with those people was a guy who owns cash, like the restaurants, which for those of you who don't know are like LA, New York hotspot restaurants. And she sort of knew him. And she, being a proud mom, posted my YouTube video to her Facebook and was texting all her friends who could get my daughter, like, an audition somewhere. My dream was to be on Broadway.

That was like my number one dream. So she was like, who can help my daughter? Whatever. So she messaged this guy mark, and was like, do you know anyone who maybe would want to? I don't even, like, we didn't even know at the time what the verbiage was or what the goal was. It was more so just like, clearly I was a kid who loved to sing and what can we do with this? People also have this idea that my mom knew Scooter personally because there's a picture that this is also, I have to again, contextualize peak of me being hated online. When I was like 16 years old, this rumor began to spread and there's a picture of some woman with Scooter in college. And people are like, this is Madison's mom and Scooter Braun in college. My mom's like 15 years older than scooter, mind you. And also, that's just not true. And at this point I would just say, yeah, people have this idea that you can buy your way. My dad wrote him a check and was like, sign my daughter. Do you know how many kids would be famous? Yeah, it's just not true and it's quite silly.

And I think that obviously also what Scooter Braun, who had Justin Bieber as his artist, you think he really needed to sign little Madison beer from Long island. It also didn't work out. So it wasn't like, basically, to make a long story short, Mark ended up connecting us with Scooter, who then showed to Justin. And that's how it all happened. And it was just quite simple and it was all very cool for me and very exciting. Twelve year old me, I was just excited that Justin Bieber watched one of my videos.

Right? Also, it's not like anyone was like, justin you have to post this. No, he had to have liked it to post it.

He, I think, felt passionate about me when I was younger because that's how he was discovered. So I think that. I don't know, I wasn't in the room, but potentially when Scooter showed it to him, he was like, I want to get involved with this.

I feel like. I remember also back in the day seeing Justin Post. Like a lot of people, he would do stuff like that, all because that's how he was getting discovered. And I appreciate you clarifying, and I know there are some people watching that are like, what the fuck is going on? The point is, there was a conspiracy.

There was literally a theory.

It's crazy the amount of rumors about you on the Internet.

I know.

Why do you think that is?

Firstly, I think I got in this very young. I think that it's been 1112 years of me being on social media. So, of course, throughout the years, as I've grown into the human form, I'm sure that I've made mistakes or said things or done things like any person would in my shoes that maybe I look back and I'm not proud of. But I can't give you an answer as to why there's so many people that literally make things up about me or are just specifically mean to me. I feel like I've been a victim of just no empathy. People are just mean and vicious and will make fun of me and not give me any benefit of the doubt or assume that I'm a liar. And it's really hard, but I don't know the reason. And I don't think that I'm at a place where I blame myself anymore because I used to be like, oh, it has to be something. It has to be me. And I'm like, I didn't do anything to people, and I don't think that's true.

I feel like if I can take a crack at it, I'm like, I feel like one. The relationship to Justin, we don't need to get into it. But anyone that has any touching of that man near him, if you're a woman and you're not a certain woman, you're dead. And I think naturally, when you're young and you're on the Internet, people get so fixated and obsessed with that shit that it's like, we're riding till the grave with you, Madison. Even if we're bullying you, they just become obsessed with your life from day one. And then it's like they feel like they know you because they've watched you quite literally mature from a girl to a woman, and there's like some weird fucking shit, for sure. You're so young. We've said you've been in the industry for eleven years. What made you want to write a memoir at 24?

I know, and I feel like it's very young, and I've seen a lot of people online be like, what the hell? And I'm like, that's kind of the point, though. And I feel like it should show people how much I've been through at 24 to be able to even write this in the first place. But I don't know, I just think, like I said earlier, there's so much I wanted to say for so long that I just didn't feel was appropriate anywhere but a book format of some kind. I didn't feel like a teary eyed Instagram post would really do it justice. I didn't feel like coming on here for the first time and being this. The first time I ever really said things was I just wanted it to be like, me telling my story without anyone else, no strings attached. And I feel good about it. And I feel like it's definitely peculiar that someone so young is like, writing a memoir. But I think it's bigger than just a memoir. It's more of, like, I guess, a tell all and just sort of me. And the reason it's called the half of it is because I want people to understand that, obviously, just because, you know, now this, you still only know the half of it.

And we have so much more to go. I have so much more life to live. And it's really just also about everyone viewing each other as human and being like, wait, we're literally all trying, and it's everyone's first time here, that I don't really think that we deserve to scrutinize each other and be mean and make fun of each other and think everyone's a liar and just put, like, people should be, in my eyes, innocent until proven guilty, not vice versa. And I don't know, I just hope this book makes some people a little more empathetic towards each other. And not to spoil the ending, but the last line in the book is like, now that you've read my story, I hope you realize that everyone has a story you just haven't read yet. And that's the truth, and it's just the reality of life. And I think there's so many people who don't go through life with that perspective. And I think looking at everyone as someone's child, as a probably wounded kid, we've all been through shit. And I just. Not to sound too preachy, but just be nice and just love each other.

And I don't know.

It's not preachy. I fucking love the last line of the book because again, going back to the beginning of the interview when I was like, dude, you look at someone's social media, you look at your social media, you're so fucking beautiful. You look like you have your life together. You are on tour, you're singing, you have albums, you're thriving. People don't know the half of it. And it's like if we sit down and we take this as to heart of, like, now, next time you open your phone and you're someone that's a mean person.

No, but you're 100% right. And I think that it's just so important, and I think people really forget that, and it's such a crucial part of this life, and I think that it's something that we all can do better at. And again, I feel like as much as I would love to be on social media, like, guys, this is something that's happened to me. I don't feel like all my followers, a, give a shit, let alone B. Would care. So I'm like. I just feel like there's no point in. And this is for me, he is. So I know it's really only for me. I think there's other people who feel differently and do feel like maybe I can use my platform and be more open and honest, but I just don't feel like that audience.

It's not the appropriate space sometimes.

Exactly. And that's how I feel when I do my tour. And at the beginning of tour, I have Q and A's. I talk to my fans in the most honest, vulnerable way I can, and we have such a deep, personal connection that to me, those are the appropriate spaces. It's just not for Instagram.

Yes. In a few weeks, you're going on a much different tour than you're used to. You're not going to be singing. You're going on a book tour.

Yeah.

What are you looking forward to from this book tour?

I'm excited. A lot of my experiences I've had so far in this crazy time and world have been like my. I write about this experience in my book about holding hands with a stranger, and you know that you're both going through something beautiful and emotional when the first thing you do is hold hands and have this really true human connection. There's been so many incidents like that that I really look back on. I'm like, what an amazing life I've had and what a privileged position am I in to be so lucky to have these deep connections with utter strangers through music and through vulnerability, hopefully through this book. That's such a beautiful, awesome thing. And obviously in the book you'll read that it comes to this sort of ending of like, I definitely made the right choice and the answer is yes. And moral of the whole story of all these fucked up things have happened is I'm still so grateful for all of it and I wouldn't trade my position for the world. I just hope that me as a singular individual can make some sort of a positive impact on people. I hope people listen to this podcast and say like, oh, maybe I shouldn't comment that this girl looks ugly in this video because why the fuck should I?

Or maybe I should hold the door for someone because I never know what kind of day they had. I just want so cheesy the world to be a bit of a better place and I want people to just be nicer to each other. And I think that this book is really about that specifically of just like, be empathetic.

I can't thank you enough for coming on because I feel like, again, there's so many fucking things on the Internet about you and rumors and gossip and mean things. It's really fucking nice that you put this into a book that is like humanizes you and gives us all a chance to get to know you better. And I also really appreciate you sitting down with me and talking about topics that I know are very fucking sensitive and personal to you. But in a strange way, I know so many people are going to relate to you and connect with you and feel like I can go another fucking day. Because look, she's sitting here still and there's more to her story and there's more to come and hopefully it's going to be positive and there's going to be things that come from it. But I also agree. I hope people take from this, like, let's be more compassionate because we have no fucking idea what anyone is going through and they shouldn't have to put their life out there. Twenty four seven. And to explain why you should be.

Nice to people, definitely not agreed.

Thank you for coming on, Madison.

It was truly a pleasure not coming. I'm at your house. Thank you for having me.

Thanks for coming to my Alex.

Next guest, please.

Next guest, Camaro.

Thank you.