Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:01]

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Megan Fox.

[00:00:12]

Welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thank you.

[00:00:14]

I am so happy we are doing this tonight.

[00:00:18]

Same.

[00:00:18]

And I say tonight, which is crazy, I have never done an interview this late in my life. It's 10:00 at night. Are you a night owl?

[00:00:28]

No. But I find that It's interesting because you've interviewed so many rappers, and I refuse to believe that they showed up on time or in the daylight.

[00:00:36]

Okay, Offset didn't show up on time, but it was the daylight. But no, I have never done a late night interview, but I do feel like it's a vibe.

[00:00:44]

You might I ended up loving it.

[00:00:46]

Okay. Well, I was going to say, guys, it's raining right now. There's thunderstorms in LA. We've got candles going. This makes sense for a Megan Fox episode. When you are late night by yourself, your kids are asleep, what is your favorite to do at night, usually?

[00:01:02]

Well, I usually stay by the fire, and I like to read. And I read a lot of metaphysical books. But right now, I'm reading whatever that new adult version of twilight book that's out. It's like a erotic fairy book.

[00:01:16]

Wait, isn't it the King of... Or the Court of Thorns?

[00:01:19]

Yeah, I'm reading that.

[00:01:21]

Wait, does it make you horny?

[00:01:23]

I haven't gotten to the horny part yet, but I know that I'm going to get there because I know that he has these the ability to bind her energetically with magic, and I'm already like, I'm here for that.

[00:01:35]

That'll do it for you. I remember my friend was reading it. She was like, Alex, I'm not kidding you. I keep waking my boyfriend up in the middle of the night because I'm reading about fairies, but something get me going. I'm like, I don't understand it. Maybe I need to read it.

[00:01:49]

I'm not there yet, but I feel like you should. And it's definitely a lot more interesting than most of the psychological textbooks that I read by the fire at night.

[00:01:59]

You're Are you doing textbooks over there?

[00:02:01]

Sometimes.

[00:02:01]

You enjoy that?

[00:02:03]

I can't say I enjoy it. I think that I do it out of... I made a really clear decision when I was young to avoid the pitfalls or the traps of social media or just Internet usage in general. And so I go out of my way. And maybe it's annoying to be this way, but to counter that by attempting to educate myself. By the way, I didn't graduate high school. So I think a lot of that It's just pursuing things that I'm interested in and wanting to have as much information about it as possible and trying to not become just a plebeian or a mindless brainwashed sheep.

[00:02:42]

I think most of us today are mindless sheep because I feel that way. Sometimes when I'm on social media too much, I'm like, What is happening up here? When is the last time I had an original thought? I'm mindlessly scrolling. We got to get it together.

[00:02:57]

It gives me anxiety. I have group chats with my friends, and they'll send me links to things, but I don't keep the Instagram app downloaded or anything like that. But even just if they send me a link to something on Twitter and I open the Twitter website, just the energy from the website gives me so much anxiety that I feel like I immediately contract ADHD. And I can feel how my thoughts are not able to sustain the same way. And that's just from being exposed to it for five seconds.

[00:03:27]

Thirty seconds? Yeah. My mind's like, get me the fuck out of here.

[00:03:30]

So I can't imagine what it's doing to everyone, especially younger kids that are starting so early with cell phones.

[00:03:35]

It's actually terrifying. It's like a drug. Something I also noticed about you is you just announced that you a whole new sleeve tattoo on Instagram. What was the story behind that? How did you decide to do that?

[00:04:05]

Well, back when I died my hair from the Auburn-colored red that it was to this color, it was like a bright red. During that metamorphosis, I had bought these weird... I became a victim of Timu. Wait, what? Do you know what that happened?

[00:04:25]

Yes, only because of Super Bowl.

[00:04:27]

Someone introduced me to Timu, and I was like, What What is this, though? And I was victimized, and I ordered a bunch of stick on tattoos and fun things to do with my kids. And some of them were fake sleeves because I was like, Oh, my kids will love to do this. And I did it on me, and I was like, Wow, I love it. And I instantly made an appointment to get my arm done. And I started it, but the artist I was working with had a different vision than what I wanted. And so we got halfway up my arm. Dust in the Wind was playing, and just that line repeating over and over again, nothing lasts forever. But the Earth and sea and your tattoos that you kept playing. And I was like, okay, I have to stop because this isn't my vision. It wasn't a bad tattoo. It just wasn't what I wanted. So We stopped with half the tattoo. I kept that for six months, and then I found an artist to cover it. Most people would say I'm grounded, but I'm also very impulsive. When I decide to do something, it must be done right then.

[00:05:27]

I can't decide it and then do it from now or I can't plan far into the future. It has to happen instantly. And so once I found the cover artist, I was like, We have to get it done. And we just did it four days in a row. It was six hours a day. They won't tattoo usually past six hours in one sitting because your skin starts rejecting the ink. So I just did it four days in a row and sleeves it. And then it healed. Very weird. It didn't even peel. It was very weird. It just healed. It was just fine.

[00:05:58]

Someone that you know, also got a lot of new ink, and I have to ask about it, or I would get wasted on the internet. Mgk, should I call him Mgk? Sure.

[00:06:09]

Or Colson or Mgk, whatever you want.

[00:06:12]

He posted, and I saw all the comments of everyone, mostly being like, what does Megan think about his new tattoo? What does Megan think? What does Megan think? And now I'm sitting here in person with you and I'm like, I have to ask you, what did you think when you saw the tattoo?

[00:06:24]

Well, he has a really special story behind why he did that, which obviously I'll leave for him to tell. But he had a relationship with the tattoos that he had that he was very conflicted emotionally. Whatever they represented, and I don't actually know, he didn't like to revisit those memories of some of those tattoos that he had, and he wanted to get rid of them. But I think the piece that she did for him is very... I think it's very art. It gives me like Rick Owens. It's like an elevated version of all of those tattoos that were pieced together. I think it's really elegant, and it's ahead of its time. I think in 10 years, that'll be a trend. I don't know how many people can take that pain. So I don't know. People will be put to sleep and get the tattoos done But he did it fully awake with no pain killers and no numbing. Did you go with him? Numbing. I went to one of the sessions. All right.

[00:07:22]

There's probably many.

[00:07:23]

There were many, yeah. And it didn't feel like something... To me, it felt like he going through a spiritual initiation, and that space needed to be respected, and I didn't need to be there. I stopped by one of them, though, but I don't actually know how he endured that level of pain. Because he's also tattooing on top of tattoos. So you're tattooing the scar tissue, which makes it even more painful. I don't know. I don't know. His liver is also probably not doing well at this time.

[00:07:55]

Prayers for Colson. I was thinking about as I was reading those comments, I'm like, the Internet is such a wild place. What is the craziest rumor you've ever heard about yourself on the Internet?

[00:08:07]

There's lots of those. We could talk about that for a while. Let's talk about it for a while. Okay, let's talk about it. I guess one of the ones that's very persistent is that I'm Satanic or do Satanic rituals or maybe adjacent to Illuminati or something in that vein, which I think really started. I don't know why it started. There was just that one time that I said I drink blood ritualistically, and then everybody was like, wow, she's into satanic rituals. Classic. But that was a very misunderstood thing. Let me try to explain it. Give us some context. Okay, here's the context. Everything is a matter of what you're accustomed to or what is currently socially acceptable or normal. And back in the '50s, even, how many times did you see, probably never, but on Leave It To Beaver or movies from back then or even the '80s, how many times did you see little boys would go out with their little pop guns And they would cut their fingers and be blood brothers, right? And they're like, We're best friends forever now. And they would smush the blood together on their fingers. That's not Satanic, right?

[00:09:24]

That's normal. And that's cute. That's sweet. That's an innocent- A little bond. Yeah. It's a little bond between kids who love each other. They have a pure friendship. It's like that, except instead of rubbing your fingers together, the drop of blood goes in your mouth. And I don't know why that becomes Satanic. I understand people are like, Hey, that's weird. But guess what I think is weird? I think it's weird that girls are out here letting guys come in their mouth and they don't know these guys. You're letting somebody put their sperm in your mouth and you don't know what he does. He doesn't even have a job. You met him on fucking Tinder. He's an entrepreneur or whatever. He's in a startup. And you just let him sperm in your mouth. That's disgusting. That makes my back hurt. That makes me sweaty. So fuck you. You're so offended that I got a drop of Maschina Kelly's blood in my mouth. You have Brandon from Silicon Valley's sperm in your mouth. He didn't even buy you a nice drink.

[00:10:29]

I'm crying.

[00:10:29]

Honestly, though, it's a matter of perspective. What is so gross about what I did with my soulmate? You guys are out here letting strangers come on you. This is disgusting.

[00:10:44]

These are the facts we really need to discuss today, Megan. We can have the interview here. You know what I mean? Because this is the hard-hitting truth. And I appreciate the honesty because when you give us a little context, it does make fucking sense. And You're right. Anyone can look at it any way. Just like Christianity, when they're drinking wine and they believe it's the blood of Christ. Everyone has their thing. Let everyone fucking live. What do you give a shit? Are you drinking someone's blood? No. So why do you fucking care if I do? It doesn't matter. But this is a great point about the come, and we should circle back on that for the women at the end of this episode. Really talk about who should be coming inside of you and your mouth. And yeah, I appreciate this. What other rumors do you have any that come to mind? That's just the main That's the first one.

[00:11:31]

And just to clarify, because I didn't go on record of saying that's not true. I actually was raised like Pentecostal Christian. I'm not currently a part of the church, but I definitely identify with Christ consciousness, and I'm actually a very spiritual, positive person, except for recently. Except for recently, I've been going through it a little bit in terms of positivity. But definitely have never been a part of a Satanic ritual, don't I don't know any people who have been a part of this Satanic ritual. I'm not sure if the Illuminati is real. It probably is. I have not been extended an offer to join. I feel like if it was real, I would have been given an offer to join by now. So, yeah, it's just to squash that. Not a Satanist or any an evil witch, light worker. Yes, I do rituals, but that's not a negative thing. Anything is a ritual. Doing your skincare routine is a ritual. Going to church is a ritual. So I think people have to separate that word. That word has been demonized for so long that it's just been very misunderstood. And also, I think we exacerbated it because Halloween of that year, I dressed up in bondage with a dog collar around my neck, and he dressed up as a priest, and he was feeding me communion on my knees.

[00:12:56]

And we played Marilyn Manson's Sweet dreams. We played that. That was the song to the vet. And people felt like that was a confirmation of the satanic rituals.

[00:13:08]

So you can see where people may- I can see where I planted a seed and there grew a tree in its place. But you're here to chop down the tree and be like, It never fucking happened.

[00:13:20]

Yeah, he didn't want me to clarify. He was like, It's actually so much just let them think this, that it's so much cooler that people think we're this bizarre, that we're this weird, that doing this weird, magical, weird shit in our basement. Let them think that this is what's going on.

[00:13:35]

But it is a testament to everything they see on social media is face value, and it's not that deep. It was Halloween. Let's go back to the beginning, Megan Fox. What were you like as a kid?

[00:13:48]

I told my mom when I was two that I was going to be a famous actress. So I knew... And that wasn't out of passion for acting, I'll be honest. I just always knew that that's what it was going to be. I had an awareness of my destiny for some reason at a young age. And I was a tomboy when I was a little kid. I was always outside. I had a very assertive energy as a child. And whenever my mom would get secret psychic readings because she was Pentecostal, so that was a no-no to see psychics, they would always read that she had an older daughter and a younger son, and the younger son was me. And I'm not really sure why I always came through that way, except that I have... No one's going to know what I'm talking about right now, but I have Mars on my ascendant in astrology. So I have a warrior energy that I was born with. And I think that was translated as being maybe masculine as a child because It wasn't docile. But I was a good kid. I was a little mischeevious and never interested in school, always knew that that was not for me.

[00:14:57]

What was the dynamic in your house?

[00:14:59]

My My parents got divorced when I was three. And prior to that, I just remember both my parents were still alive, and so I want to be careful not to drag them, but while also being honest. I remember my mother's depression really, really affected me very deeply, and it was very visceral for me. And if I were to draw an image of my mother from my childhood, it would be her... This is not a literal image, but she just always seemed like a wet blanket or draped over a couch weeping. That would be my image of mother because I was so connected to her sadness or her feelings of being unfulfilled and also her resentment towards relationships. My dad, before I skip that, my dad is really outgoing and funny and charming and really unique and sparkly. And they I don't know, she was not fulfilled in that relationship for whatever reason. They got divorced. From my perspective as a three-year-old, he disappeared for a little while. She immediately got remarried. My stepdad, who was passed was probably had borderline personality, but back then, he was diagnosed, I think, bipolar. And so he was emotionally and mentally and verbally very abusive to me, not to her.

[00:16:26]

And he isolated me from her. And just in general, I wasn't allowed to have friends over or go to anyone's house. So I spent a lot of time isolated in my room and wasn't able to really even spend much. He wanted her. I guess he isolated her is really what was happening. But it seemed as though I was the one being isolated. Then I watched her depression through that relationship as well. And so the messaging that I received is that Let men, and marriage in particular, drain you of your life force and keep you from being able to express your creativity or express your unique desires. And it's an oppressive experience to be in a relationship or to be in love or to be married, in particular, being married. When I say the word being married, I feel my chakras tighten up. I feel my back get tight, even though I was married for a long time. Does that answer your question about my dynamic?

[00:17:29]

No, it is interesting And you have one sibling? Are you older or younger?

[00:17:33]

No, I have an older sister, but she's twelve years older. So she was going to college when I was still really young, and she was gone a lot because prior to that, when I was really young, she was in high school and she wasn't around much. And she had a boyfriend, and she got married, and she moved out. So I was alone a lot and trying to make sense of my mom's depression and the disconnect and then the emotional violence violence coming from my stepfather and also wanting to be with my dad more and not being able to be around him because he always was a light, and he still is a light. But he was separated from me in a way where I couldn't get to the light. It's like you can't get to God, that constant wanting to connect with the father figure, either spiritually or literally. Yeah.

[00:18:27]

I feel like a lot of I have people that I've talked to, I have such empathy for people that, whether literally or just by age, had a upbringing that you're essentially an only child, your sister being so much older than you, you were in the house alone And I feel like a lot of times when there's such chaos from the parents, I found you can have such an emotional connection to siblings because you can look at someone to your right and your left and be like, oh, we're going through the the same shit. Whereas when you're an only child, essentially in those moments, you can only internalize, think what's wrong with me or hate what's going on around you and try to do the complete opposite of what your parents did. I feel like, obviously, we've seen in movies, you play just the most popular hot girl. And when you got to high school, because I know you said when you were younger, you were very tomboyish, you would be alone. What was your high school dynamic? Were you the cool girl or were you the opposite of that?

[00:19:26]

No. In middle school, I was You're always a loner, I guess, and not necessarily by choice. But have you ever taken the Enneagram test? Do you know what that is?

[00:19:39]

I do know what that is.

[00:19:40]

Do you know what number you are?

[00:19:41]

I completely forget what number I'm in now. You're probably a one if I had to guess. Oh, my God. What does that mean?

[00:19:47]

Is that a good one? Or a seven. Actually, you're probably a seven, the enthusiast. What the fuck? Take it and then tell me. Take it and then I don't know how this works, but insert it into this interview and tell me if I was right.

[00:19:57]

My face pops up like, I am a one.

[00:19:59]

She's No, a seven. I think you're the enthusiast. I'm a four, which is, I think in that one, they call it the romantic. But it's a personality that's been developed where I identify as being an outcast or being so incredibly unique and unusual that no one could ever understand me. And so for me, the worst insult you could give me is that I blend in with everyone else, or I have a vanilla personality or that I'm normal. But that actually stems from a family environment where I didn't feel that I belonged and never felt a part of anything. And then as I went out into the world in school, that was also reflected back to me, where I didn't fit into a friend group, and I wasn't received well by kids. And then as I left school and went out into the world as a famous person, the world received me that way as well with a lot of contention and a lot of negativity and a lot of projection. And so it's a part of my identity, but it's a survival mechanism to say, I'm a pariah. I'm an outlier. That's who I am.

[00:21:09]

And I'm proud of that. And that's who I need to be now. That's how I self-identify. But really, that comes from a deep wound of looking to have belonged somewhere at some point in my life and never finding a place that I fit.

[00:21:21]

That's really actually interesting to hear because I was going to say, on one hand, it is a survival mechanism for you to get through. But I'm also like, isn't that lonely?

[00:21:31]

Yeah. Yeah, it's super lonely. But I was a lonely baby. I've been lonely my whole life. And when I meet with... I've met every healer, every psychic, They're always like, well, this is your nine life path. This is your last life. You're an old soul. Old souls are lonely. Old souls are sad. You've been doing this a long time. You've been through a lot of trauma. You've had every experience you can have. And there's this bitter sweet experience of... It's lonely, but I also know that part of my purpose is to be in service to others, my children in particular. But, yeah, it's not a particularly... I feel alone. Yeah. A lot. But to answer your question about high school and middle school, I wasn't cool. I had an eating disorder in middle school, a really bad one. I had to be hospitalized twice. And I was left in there. My mom will say she took me out for Christmas. I don't think that's accurate. I think I was in there for Christmas, but I was in there for a few months at a time every time they would put me in. Essentially, I was 51, 50 because my eating disorder was so bad.

[00:22:43]

I had braces. I had plucked out all of my eyebrows. And when you do that, when you plump your eyebrows, by the way, for anyone that's ever going to do this, if you do that when you're sick or your immune system is down, those hairs don't grow back. So I plumped my eyebrows, but out. Most of them never grew back.

[00:22:59]

Why How did you plug them out?

[00:23:01]

It was like cutting or any... I was just doing things to myself to not disfigure myself, but it was a compulsive action that I didn't understand at the time. And then in high school, if you saw my high school yearbook picture, by that point, I was cute again. I had figured it out somehow, but equally as lonely and isolated. And I had a friend, but I've never had a friend group.

[00:23:32]

How did boys treat you in high school?

[00:23:35]

I had a high school boyfriend. I don't know. At that point, I had started some modeling in Miami and doing auditioning for acting things. I think during high school, I did that Mary Kate and Ashley Olson movie. I'm not exactly sure. I think I was 16, 17. The kids in school, I didn't get a real reaction from the boys in school. But as I went out into the world doing that stuff, I started getting reactions, but also from much older men, which was weird because they were not my peer group, obviously, and that sent a whole nother set of confusing messages.

[00:24:14]

Yeah. I'm curious before we do get into that. When people probably think of Megan Fox in high school, they're like, I would have killed to look like you. Did you have insecurities?

[00:24:25]

Yeah. I've had body dysmorphia since I was probably five. I can remember sitting in the back of my sister's car. She was getting married. And I even remember what I was wearing. I had black shorts that had white poledots on them. And I was five. And this is crazy when I look at my children because now I understand what it is to be five years old. And I was in the back seat looking at my legs being like, I have such fat thighs. My thighs are so fat. I was five. But I also had... I think I was blonde in a past life and/or. I mean, I've had many past lives. Whenever I When I would look in the mirror as a child, I was like, that's not me. That never felt like me. Nothing about that face, the hair, the skin color, the body. That wasn't me. I never associated that with me. And so I think that's because I have a strong tie to some of my other lifetimes. And it was always hard for me to accept that this is who I am in this lifetime. And that goes back to when my parents were still married.

[00:25:27]

So I was two or three. My mom said that I used to go into the bathroom and stand on the toilet and pull up my shirt to see if my boobies had grown. And I would get really upset that I didn't have big boobs. And now, $30,000 later, now I do. Solve that problem.

[00:25:46]

Honestly, girl, get it. Because I was going to ask you, I know you've been open about body dysmorphia, and I know that doesn't just go away. And where do you think that control of... Because that's essentially control thing of you're trying to control how you look. What do you think now you look back, you're trying to achieve?

[00:26:05]

I think ultimately at the time that I was going through it, it was loss of control because of the dynamic between myself and my stepfather and having no autonomy whatsoever and not being able to have friends or to leave the house or to even do things freely inside the house. But prior to that, it was just a feeling of being defective or being unwashed wanted. And for whatever reason, I'm not sure why it manifested specifically as that and not as addiction issues, which I've never had. But it manifested as body dysmorphia and self-esteem instead.

[00:26:44]

Your ex-husband made headlines recently when he said that you never got to experience being a single young woman because you guys met when you were only 18 and he was 31 at the time. Do you agree with him? Do you feel like you missed out on anything because of that relationship?

[00:27:03]

I feel like... First of all, let me just say, I was not a great girlfriend to Brian. I'll be very honest. And he was not great to me either all the time. But I think it would be easy for me to lean into and complain about or let it seem like that relationship was one way that maybe I was not great because I was young and really should not have been in a relationship of that level of commitment and that magnitude. I shouldn't have been involved in that when I was 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23. I shouldn't have been. So I did a lot of falling in love with other people all the time. I would go to work and fall in love because I was a kid. I never had the full freedom to be single and experience that life. And I I thought for a minute when I got divorced, that that's what I was going to do. And I was single for three weeks.

[00:28:10]

Then you just met that guy.

[00:28:14]

Yeah. I thought I was really going to go full Leo DiCaprio for a while.

[00:28:18]

That would have been really fun to watch.

[00:28:21]

Everyone says that. Everyone agrees.

[00:28:24]

I now need to know because you reference in the beginning of this interview, it literally makes your skin crawl when you think about marriage, but you did get married. How did you decide to do that?

[00:28:35]

I think because then I was so unaware of my feelings because I was so much younger. And this is before I had my kids. And most of my Growth and awareness came after childbirth. So prior to that, I just wasn't aware that, oh, marriage makes me feel any particular way. That was something I did impulsively. Also, it was like an adventure to go on and to do. And I'd already been with him for so many years at that point. And I do feel like karmically, I was supposed to have those kids with him, of course. So I didn't realize I wasn't looking at myself being like, oh, I'm reenacting my mother's life, or I'm carrying my mother's burdens, or I'm carrying the things that she projected onto me. I was not able to recognize any of that. I was just in the moment and had not had therapy or anything like that. And I not started reading and educating myself. So I was just acting and doing. And I got myself into a relationship, which I, of course, found no shade to Brian, unfulfilling, because inevitably, that's what I was going to do because I was reenacting what I watched my mother do as a child.

[00:29:51]

Yeah.

[00:29:52]

I think that's something that's fascinating when you get into therapy, you're like, oh, fuck. I literally said I didn't want to be like my mother, and I'm turning into my mother. And it's on us, obviously, to take some of the accountability of our lives to be like, pause. How do I try to change this? But it's really fucking hard to not do what we saw growing up. When I think about you and since the rise of your career, I feel like your name in the public eye has been synonymous with the phrase sex symbol, right? How does that make you feel?

[00:30:27]

I've never been particularly attached to that, to be honest. I don't have an emotional reaction to that. I don't believe, but let me sit here and analyze it while you're asking me. I think it adds pressure to a girl who, like I said, has body dysmorphia and didn't really ever see herself that way. And the things that I thought were my strengths, like my mind, my intelligence, or my sense of humor, which is granted very niche sometimes. But those things are not acknowledged. And instead, I'm being acknowledged for something that I don't identify with or as. And so that's almost like this artifice. It's forcing me to wear a character that I wasn't trying to wear. And then also you assign the character to me, and then you torture and demonize the character. And I was never that. I was never her. You created her, and then you murdered her. And that... I love that I started this out by being like, I don't have an emotional attachment to this.

[00:31:43]

You fucking killed me, bitch.

[00:31:45]

But I think to just being called a sex symbol, I don't initially have a reaction. But to the whole process of what really happened, and it's into just being famous in general, and the process of Fame has been really haunting, to be honest, because, like I said, the media and people built up this character and then decided to destroy her because I don't know why there's a need to worship and then destroy, worship and then destroy. And I was I'm always a sensitive kid, but I had to wear armor to survive my childhood, and I had to wear armor to survive being famous. And so there's this energy of me that I don't give any fucks. And to some degree, that's true in terms of I would never change anything about myself in order to get someone to like me. So in that way, I don't give any fucks. That doesn't mean that I don't get my feelings hurt and that when I'm being bullied or dragged, that that doesn't cause me to be mentally unwell sometimes, because it absolutely does and did. And in 2009, crossing into 2010, I had been famous, not even that long, only a couple of years, but the fame was so heightened.

[00:33:17]

It was so intense that all the energy started peaking. And I was going through this process of I was getting crucified in the press every day. And on whatever the blogs were at that time, there was no social media, but Perez Hilton and was it Nicki Swift? There was some other blog that was so mean. Daily Mail, whatever.

[00:33:37]

Do you remember what they would say about you?

[00:33:38]

The same exact things they say right now. You could swap the articles from this This year, with 2009 and 2010, it's the exact same thing. Obviously, being a slut, being a whore. Now I have kids for people to project on and be like, But you're a shitty mom. I didn't have that at the time, but it was just like, you're a shitty person for whatever reason. Plastic surgery, fake, talentless. There's so many headlines. I used to get chased by paparazzi who would be like, Megan, everybody's saying that you're overrated. Do you think that you're overrated? Megan, everybody's saying that you shouldn't have got your nose done. Nobody likes your new nose. Are you embarrassed that you got your nose done? Are you sad? Do you regret getting your nose done? Megan, why are you such a bitch? Why does nobody like you? Like, grown men chasing you. Back then, this was like TMZ cameras. They don't talk to you like that anymore, but back then they did. So you're in life getting bullied by actual grown adult men with cameras everywhere you go. Then there's the online presence of just getting torn to shreds for everything that you do, everything that you wear, how you look, every single flaw, every pimple, every scar, every five pounds you gain, five pounds you lose, you can't win.

[00:35:06]

And that energy was peaking, and it was every day. And during 2009, they had a blackout, a Megan Fox blackout, where the media all agreed to not post any content about me for a whole day, which, by the way, I was like, I hope you do this every day. Thank you. But the attitude was that, oh, that I was a Fame whore or an attention whore, which is the opposite Instead of the truth. I'm extremely introverted and horrified by having to be in front of people or cameras. But it got so bad at that point. I was just like, hey, I can't survive the criticism in the bullying anymore. I actually can't live every time I step out of my house, someone has something to say about how I look, or it's going to be... It started to become a witch hunt where I felt like tabloids would send photographers with the intention of getting a bad photograph or getting a bad story. This was around the time. It may have been a little before, but it was in the years of when Brittany shaved her head. And so the media at that time They were on witch hunts, and they would set out to try and find something negative, the ugliest picture they could get to splash it everywhere, because that's what people want to...

[00:36:25]

That gets the most engagement, obviously, even back then before socials existed. And that's when I stepped away for a long time, and I was like, I'm good to just not be involved in this anymore because I actually can't sustain this amount of damage. It's not normal. And I also feel like it was just me at that time, whereas now all of us get it. There's so many other girls that are getting it constantly. But back then, it really was just me. There wasn't another actress that was getting it the same way I was getting it.

[00:36:58]

As I'm listening to you, first of all, it's fucking exhausting. I cannot imagine. And what you're sharing with me in the beginning of this being like, at such a young age, I looked in the mirror and I was like, I literally cannot connect with my physical appearance. And it's so hard for me to look at myself and be like, is that me in the mirror? I don't feel that way. To know the eating disorders and the body dysmorphia, like what you were going through, how exacerbated it then became because you became famous. If you had to say, and I know there's no answer, but why do you think people are so obsessively trying to pick at you and pull you down?

[00:37:38]

I don't know. I think if I were to try and speak I got it from a spiritual angle that I'm the architect of this experience. And so I'm drawing this to me because my soul needs to learn and deal with these feelings and be able to transcend to this. I believe in a past life, I actually was burned at the stake for being a witch. So I think that's an energy that I've had through lifetimes, and it's carried into this lifetime as well, because that is essentially what is happening today every day. People don't realize it, but they all wake up, and they're just a reincarnated medieval mob, and they have their pitchfork and their lantern, and they're like, who do we get to burn at the stake today? Who do we get to cancel today? Who do we get to destroy today? And that's the first thing And they do. They go on Twitter and they're like, what's trending? This. I want to join in on this. And that's also something that should be studied is why do people want to join in on something which is essentially psychological violence. Why do you want to join in on that?

[00:38:48]

Because I think most people, if you were walking on the street and you saw me or you saw Kim or Kylie or any of these other girls, and we were being beaten by a mob of people, your instinct is not going to be to join the mob and to beat us. It would probably be to either help or to go get help. However, when you watch that same thing happen online and it's the psychological violence, the instinct is to join. And that's a very weird... That's a very weird instinct that people have that they should ask themselves, why do I want to be a part of tormenting, torturing, mocking, making fun of or bullying when we do understand the ramifications and the danger of doing this?

[00:39:32]

It's such a good way to look at it, and it's fucking terrifying. And I think that as I'm sitting here listening to you, I also just have to acknowledge you are conventionally a beautiful woman. You have been called in certain years the most beautiful woman in the world. And I think people cannot accept that you could have it all. You can't be this beautiful and be smart. You can't be that beautiful and be a good person. And I think it brings so many insecurities out in people when they look at you. I think for women, I remember I just saw a TikTok of this woman who was like, I just lost 100 pounds. And my life is so different because I used to walk in rooms and women would befriend me and men treated me like shit. And now it's the opposite. I I walk in a room and every fucking woman looks at me like a threat, and every man is opening the door for me, treating me like a queen. And I'm like, whoa, I just lived two different fucking experiences in a year. And I'm like, which one would I choose? But I think you threaten women because you're confident and beautiful and educated and smart.

[00:40:49]

And we're all like, fuck you. You can't be like that. But to men, I mean, I was going to read this to you. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with the world? I read an old article, okay? And they described you as a screen saver on a teenage boy's laptop, a middle-aged lawyer's shower fantasy, and a sexual prop used to sell movies. The objectification of you, Megan Fox, is so much larger than you. It is the embodiment of misogyny and what's wrong with our fucking society. And it's terrifying even hearing it come from her own voice of, I didn't ask for this. I'm not out there selling my body and my soul to this. I'm just trying to do my job, and somehow people are like, take her the fuck down.

[00:41:43]

Yeah. It was always confusing to me because I never really did anything bad. I was never associated with drugs or alcohol. I was never around until recently. Anyone who's been associated with drugs or alcohol. I was never caught at clubs. I was never arrested. I never did anything outside of having a Andy Kaufman-esque sense of humor, which people don't understand. That is my greatest crime. And so it was very hard to understand in the beginning. And I'll be honest with you, it's hard to keep enduring it because I did step away for a decade, and I did all this work on myself, spiritually and thought that I was transcending and growing and becoming a better person. And so when I got divorced and I started dating Colson, inevitably, I was thrust back into the light, the synthetic light, not the real light. And I thought that either it would be different. I would be attracting a different experience to myself this time because my level of consciousness was so much higher, or my ability to deal with it would be so much better at this point because I was a different person. And And I have not found that to be the case at all.

[00:43:03]

I've been doing it. It's going on the fourth year now, and it is wearing me down. I'll be honest. It's very hard, I think, because I don't have a family support system or a large group of I don't feel that I belong because I do feel so alone. Like you said, when you have to deal with something and you don't have siblings or you feel like you're by yourself, you internalize, and then it can become very grim very quickly. And And I am getting to the end of my rope with that. I'll be honest. I'm struggling with it again. It feels like I was in a worm hole. I left 2009, and I'm right back in where I left off, and there was no growth, which makes me feel defeated. And I can't believe how negative human beings are and how cruel they need be to everyone. This is not just me. But that also weighs on me because I have kids, and I have one kid who's an artistic savant, and that kid will inevitably be in the spotlight somehow. It's impossible that they won't. And I know how cruel the world is because I've lived through it.

[00:44:19]

And I don't think I can endure watching what my child is going to have to go through. So I'm really struggling with that as well of not wanting my kids to have to be exposed.

[00:44:31]

I was going to say it's also just this cycle, like you said, everyone builds someone up. We've seen it with so many stars online. And then the minute you're at the top, they break you down. And I already know it. It's like, if you disappear again and you go away, oh, my God, We miss Megan. We miss Megan.

[00:44:45]

It happened to me twice. When I went away, there was this surge of like, I hate this phrase, but it applies. I would not normally say this. There was that peak in energy where I was getting crucified every day. I went away. I disappeared. I was like, fine, fuck it, you win. The world had their post not clarity. And they were like, Wait, but why did we kill her? Why did we murder her? She never did anything. What did she do? She was actually like... She was actually a positive. She stood for a lot of really good things. We should have given her flowers. Why do we do that? Fuck. And then I step back. I'm like, Was someone knocking? Were Were you guys calling me? I'm here. I'm here to receive my flowers. And it was immediate just murder immediately. What the fuck? And so experiencing that cycle, like you said, if I were to disappear again right now, like I did in 2009, which believe me, I'm very tempted to do because I am not well at this moment, the same thing would happen where people would be like, Oh, but she brought...

[00:45:55]

She had this messaging. She was such a smart girl. She was a grounded girl. She was encouraging. She was supportive of other women. She was this, she was that. She was, I promise you, 40 years after I'm dead, it's going to be not to compare myself to Marilyn, but the way she died. And then everyone's like, Well, you know she was a genius. You know she had 140 2 IQ. That's going to happen to me, too. Years from now, I'll be dead, and then somebody will have something nice to say about me. But living, it's not going to happen.

[00:46:24]

It's even making me think as you're just talking and I'm staring at you, you are so bright and you have so much to offer. And it makes me sad because I know so many people will listen to this and be like, wait, she's actually really fucking dope. But it shouldn't take you sitting for an hour and talking. You're a kind person. You've never done anything to anyone, so you shouldn't have to prove yourself. But it's frustrating that there's this pull and push on the Internet, and you just can't fucking win. And I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm curious, how How did and how has this extreme focus on your look and body impacted your relationship to sex?

[00:47:09]

That's a good question. I have Virgo on my eighth house.

[00:47:14]

Megan, you got to I've never talked to the girlies that are like, Bitch, I have no idea what you're talking about. Give us a little- I know.

[00:47:18]

I know I'm trying. I think- Google it. Yeah, you got to deeply Google to understand what I'm talking about there. But it It does affect, obviously, anything that's going on with your self-esteem affects your relationship to sex. But I will say, I feel like as I took more control of my body, actually, because when I was younger, it was really scandalous to get anything done. So my boobs have been fake, by the way, since I was 21 or two, I got them done in between the first and second Transformers, but I had them done Conservatively. I've done this way too many times during this interview. I hate it. You got to- No, you haven't. You got to AI those out. I can't keep doing that.

[00:48:09]

I'll just bump in on your face when you do it. Okay.

[00:48:11]

Where was I? Okay, so I had them. They were very conservative because back then, everyone did the work, but you had to do work that was undetectable. Obviously, people have been doing work since Hollywood began. The studios would bring you in and do a screen test and be like, Okay, John Wayne, he needs a chin implant. Marilyn, she needs a nose. She needs this, she needs that. That's the oldest story ever told. But back at that time, when I was doing it, it had to be unnoticeable. But I always, that little girl that was in the mirror, Where are my boobies? I always wanted big boobies. And so I wasn't happy with the first set. The same thing with... Can we just talk about plastic surgery since we're on this? Yeah, let's talk. Okay. So I'm just going to go through all the things that I've done.

[00:48:56]

Love.

[00:49:13]

Can we just talk about plastic surgery since we're on this? Yeah, let's talk. Okay. So I'm just going to go through all the things that I've done. Love. Because I feel like there's this stigma, and I'm not going to win. I'm going to do this, I'm not going to win. However, I'm hoping it sets some people Go free. Let's go. Because I feel like people are like, well, if you were to ask women, they would be like, well, we say these things, we bully you. Some of my favorite comments are from women, and I don't often read them, but sometimes I'm in the mood and I'm like, I want to interact with a troll. And it takes one second for them to start pouring into my Instagram feed or my comments. And they're often from women where I'll be like, holy shit, that is a particularly Really cruel thing to say. Who is this person? And I'll click on it and she'll be like, women's life coach, crystal healing, tantric lessons, divine feminine. And she's under my comments being like, Crucifying me for being plastic or whatever. But if you were to ask her, she would be like, Well, that's because she perpetuates an unhealthy standard of beauty, right?

[00:50:29]

But But, and so here I am, I'm going to be fully transparent. I still won't win because there are some girls who have been transparent. I don't want to bring people in, but someone like a Kylie has been very transparent. That is not helping her. Women are I feel brutally dragging her just the same and totally undeserved. She's a beautiful, healthy, young, gorgeous girl. And I actually feel, for whatever reason, very protective when I watch other girls go through this. I want to defend them or go to war for them. But okay, I'll go through. Here's things I haven't done that I have been accused of doing. And then I'll confirm the things I have done. I've never had a facelift of any kind. So no mid facelift, no lateral brow lift, although I would like one or no regular brow lift. I've never done threads. I have researched them. That's not because of some moral thing. I just don't really believe they work. And I'm also afraid that they would interfere when I do need to have a facelift. But I am very tempted to go have my eyebrows snatched all the way. I want that look.

[00:51:35]

Sometimes that seems fun. And you can do it on a lunch break, and I see why it's so tempting. And I have researched it, have not done it yet. I've never had this done. What is this?

[00:51:46]

Bucle fat?

[00:51:47]

Bucle fat? Bucle fat. Bucle fat? Bucle fat. I've never had that done. I'll never have any fat removed. I'm a very lean person that doesn't have enough body fat or fat in my face, so I will only ever put fat in. I will never be taking fat out, which leads me to I've never had any liposuction or body contouring or anything like that. I've never had... What are other things you can have?

[00:52:10]

Butt implant.

[00:52:11]

I mean, I'd be so flattered if somebody thought I had a BVL. That ass, Megan. If I could, I would. I don't have the extra body fat. I would get it done if I could. A dump truck. And that surgery is such a hard one to recover from. It's so insane. It's basically like three months you have to lay flat on your face. I could never be me. You're bruised for an eternity. If I were to ever do that, I would come out with... I would be like, If I'm going to survive that surgery, you're going to give me an ass. It's like an anomaly. I'm going to walk through a park, and I'm going to turn around, and everyone is going to be whispering and laughing and talking because they're like, What are we looking at? Like, circus freak. If I'm going through that healing process, I want that. You're going to do it. I'm not coming out with like, Oh, has she been really hitting the gym lately? Extra squats. No. I want it to be- Massive. Yeah. It's got to stop people in their tracks. But I don't have the body fat to do that, so that's never going to happen.

[00:53:18]

But at the time, when in the future, you can take donated fat from people, I will be doing that, and you will be seeing this situation.

[00:53:26]

This situation go down in the park.

[00:53:28]

Okay, what you have What I have done, like I said, I had my boobs done when I was 21 or 22. I had them redone after I was done breastfeeding my kids because I don't know where they went, but they went. And Then I had to have them redone very recently because the first set, I didn't have enough body fat to disguise. You could see the rippling of the implant, so I had to switch them out to this set. I don't like surgery. My body does not react well to general anesthesia. And so So when I go to have a surgery, it's a very big deal. And all my doctors have to meet with me before and have to tell me if they've seen any omens, if they saw any owls, crows, if anyone stepped on a spider, if there are any dead insects. My doctors have to go through this with me because I'm very afraid of dying under general anesthesia. So I don't take surgery lightly, and therefore, I have not had many of them because of that. So that's probably a saving grace that I have this paranoia or this fear because God knows I would have been up to.

[00:54:31]

Do your doctors think you're insane? They're like, Oh, this bitch.

[00:54:33]

No, they love me. No, they love me.

[00:54:34]

They- Yes, I saw an owl, Megan. Let's reschedule.

[00:54:37]

Sorry. And by the way, I'm like, I'll still pay for the surgery. Just do not also make sure the music playlist, no music comes up that reminds you of your ex-girlfriend or an ex-wife or anything that's going to make you upset because you are the surgeon. You need to be in a good head space. If you have a fight with your wife, do not come in for surgery. I go through all of these protocols because- You should make us all a list of a little pre-op situation. You don't want Any surgery is a risk to your life. I don't care what anyone says. That's the truth. Going under general anesthesia is a risk to your life. So when I had to go in for this set, I was like, look, if you're going to put me to sleep, if I'm going to be sick for too months from the general anesthesia, if I'm going to feel, if I'm going to go through... Because I'm not fully ever asleep. So my soul is like, fighting on the surgical table to wake up. It's a very traumatizing experience for me. I was like, I better wake up with the biggest boobs you can fit.

[00:55:30]

In my body. And that is what he said he did. And they're not even that big. They're a 32D, which is not that big. They just look big on my body because my body is tiny. But if he could have gone bigger, I would have had him go bigger because I don't like surgery. And the fact that I had to do it, I was like, I want a reward for the suffering I have to go through. I don't want to wake up with a full B cup. There's no fucking point in that. I'm not doing it.

[00:55:57]

Wait, you want titties.

[00:55:59]

I wanted titt. I said, I don't care what's on trend. Give me 1990 stripper titt. That's what I want. And he did it. Girl, you look amazing. Thank you. And then I had my nose done when I was in my early 20s. And that's something I've literally been accused of having six, seven, eight rhinoplasty surgeries, which is impossible. Your nose would get necrosis and fall off. I haven't had a rhinoplasty since I was I'm going to say 23. It's been well over a decade. I have not touched my nose since then. We didn't contour my nose. We didn't contour my nose. No, we didn't.

[00:56:42]

Your nose looks tiny, Shut the fuck up.

[00:56:45]

Jenna, we didn't contour. Jenna, you're fired. Should we contour it half? Should we show everyone how I contour my nose?

[00:56:50]

Wait, shut the fuck up. Your nose looks- No.

[00:56:52]

I can make it tiny, like a little Elven Princess. I make it so small. Within one inch of its life, I contour. And so I think people think I keep constantly working on it. It is just the contour. I can't believe I'm doing an interview without nose contour on. I'm traumatized. You don't understand what a big deal this is. This is like me not having done my eyebrows. It's very scary for me.

[00:57:16]

I'm traumatized that you think that your nose won't look good right now because I'm like, the fuck does my nose look like?

[00:57:24]

I like to contour it down until it's just nostrils like Baltimore. Just no nose, just Just two holes here.

[00:57:32]

Wait. After this, can you teach me how you contour your nose and I'll do it next to you?

[00:57:36]

Yeah, but I'm freaking out that I don't have it on.

[00:57:40]

You look so gorgeous. You're going to keep going. This is good for you. This is good for you. She's got to keep going. Okay. So you had your nose done, you've had your tits done, and what? Botox and filler?

[00:57:49]

Yeah, that's it, right? Oh, there's one thing I had done that I'm gatekeeping because... Sorry. What? It was really good. And it's not a known plastic surgery. People don't even really know about it.

[00:58:04]

Will you tell me off camera? Yeah.

[00:58:06]

You don't need it, I don't think. Really? You're not going to want it. I wanted it very badly, and I needed to do it. And it's something that- Can you give us a hint?

[00:58:14]

No.

[00:58:14]

No? Okay, so that's it. Yeah, it's actually not that much. In terms of surgery, it's not that much. When it comes to lasers and stuff like that, I've done everything you could possibly think of doing, and I always will. I don't understand the point of shaming people for getting stuff done. Granted, I'm not encouraging anyone to do anything crazy. And like I said, you need to be very safe and very careful when you do any of this stuff, even fillers. People that get fillers in their nose, you can get necrosis from that. None of this shit is really safe. It all comes with a risk. So I'm not encouraging people to just go out like, blindly and do things. You should do your research. However, it's a very weird thing to shame somebody for. And coming back to your question about sex, the more that I've taken control of my body and done the things that I've always wanted to do, the more comfortable I am in my body, and the more freedom I have sexually, and the more embodied I feel sexually, and I'm more playful and confident in that way. Versus when I was wearing a body that didn't feel like my body because I always wanted it to be different.

[00:59:27]

Yeah.

[00:59:27]

I appreciate you sharing that, though, because I think It's like, to the women that are shaming women for getting work done, if you are so triggered, that probably means you have an insecurity, where maybe you've thought of getting fillers or Botox or something, but maybe you're too scared, so then you shame women that have done it. And if you don't want it, why do you care if another woman gets it? It's all projection. When someone is so angry looking at you, it is based in some form of jealousy. We have to just call it what it is.

[00:59:57]

But also, where does the logic end of why won't you take it to shaming people for coloring their hair? So true. You know what I'm saying? Or wearing gel nails, or where does that logic stop? What's natural enough for you? And then what's fake? And what's the barometer? And why do we all have to follow some a standard? It doesn't make any sense.

[01:00:25]

Can we talk about your book for a second? Yeah. So you release missed your book, Pretty Boys are Poisonous. And you basically write about the fact that you have your entire life kept the secrets of men, which, again, if anyone asks why, it's like we talked about that today. It's like, what the fuck? If you say it, no one believes you, or they shame you, or they call you a whore, there's certain reasons why women don't come forward and say these things. And you wrote a lot in this book. One of the things One of the common themes I wrote down was throughout the book, you talk about minimizing yourself in order to make a man or men feel comfortable and confident and important. When was the first time you remember doing that in a relationship, bringing yourself down?

[01:01:19]

So tricky because my relationships are public, so it's hard to say. But I would say very early on, when I first started going to award shows and things like that, feeling judged for my naive excitement over first experiencing some success or being at, Oh, my God, I'm at the MTV Awards, like, whoa, this is so cool, and not being met with what felt to be criticism or judgment, and then me shrinking and receiving the message that it was embarrassing to like these things or to be happy to be a part of these things and that I needed to quell that and reject it, maybe.

[01:02:10]

Have you ever had someone that had a very strong opinion to be like, you're not allowed to wear that or don't be as outgoing in at events? How controlling have you experienced relationships become?

[01:02:29]

I haven't had somebody control clothing and things like that. But definitely, yeah, definitely just down to maintaining too much eye contact with someone else or having being too curious during a conversation or to the point where it's like, well, I just won't talk to anyone. I just won't look at anyone. I won't shake anyone's hand. I'll just sit. And that's one of the poems I'm referring to is, I think it was the art of becoming an accessory and feeling like an accessory where I'm there, but why am I there? And what am I doing? I don't have a presence here because I'm not allowed to be.

[01:03:11]

Another theme is toxicity in the book. I wanted to read you this particular line. I prefer the agonizing psychological abuse of this trauma bond to the prosaic tedium of a regular life. Why do do you think you gravitate towards toxicity over stability?

[01:03:35]

Because stability sounds boring. Megan. It does. And that's the truth. It sounds like it's not romantic. It doesn't sound like it's passionate. The literal definition of passion is to suffer. And it just sounds... I would rather be in something... This is not to encourage others to do this, but my personal psychosis and issue is that I would prefer to be in something dramatic and toxic versus something stable. Keep in mind, I've never experienced truly stable. So if I were to honestly experience it, I would probably have a lot of peace and would accept it, but I've never had it. So to me, the idea of it sounds very boring.

[01:04:28]

I want to read part of this heartbreaking poem that you wrote because it's fucking heartbreaking. You say, There was a time where I had never heard a man call me stupid, pathetic, bitch, cunt, slut, idiot. And there was also a time when I had never felt a man's hands hit me, suffocate me, or throw me to the ground. But now, if one of those things hasn't happened by Wednesday, I can Consider it a miracle. When I read that to you, how does it make you feel?

[01:05:07]

I dissociate from the physical violence a lot. Even when I talk to my therapist, I have yet to be able to have a strong emotional reaction to that because I compartmentalized that, and that just jumped over my logical brain and went right into my body. So I need to probably do a lot of somatic therapy to work on that. But I'm not able to feel emotional when I write about it or when I talk about it. It's basically describing a movie. The gaslighting and the name calling and the mental emotional abuse, I do get very emotional about that. I am very present with that. But how do I feel about it? I don't know. Well, part of me feels exposed because I wrote this book with things like that in it. And so to hear If someone else read it, I'm like, okay, I wrote that for everyone to read. For all of eternity, they can revisit that book. But I did it for a reason.

[01:06:08]

Why did you do it?

[01:06:09]

One for myself, I think, because obviously it was therapeutic to get it out and to get it out in a way that's different than to just talk to a therapist and the words float away into nothingness. To put it into a book, I know that it'll find, even if it's only one person, it'll find someone that needs to read it, and they will experience some healing or some inspiration from it. And therefore, that gave my pain a purpose versus me just trying to heal privately. It also just felt like a demon that I needed to have exercised from my body. I needed to get it out in this way.

[01:06:56]

Do you remember the first time that a man hit you?

[01:07:00]

Yes. I don't know that I can tell the story.

[01:07:07]

I have to be so careful. No, of course. I guess I could just ask, once something happens more than once, there's a way that you can almost... I don't want to say normalize it, but you have- You do.

[01:07:21]

You acclimate to it.

[01:07:22]

When it happened the first time, do you remember your reaction and how you handled it and moved?

[01:07:31]

Yeah, I fawned. That was my initial reaction. The freeze, fight, flight, fawn. Fawning is like, it's a combination of freezing and then also attempting to soothe the other person. So that was my initial reaction. And it was definitely shocking. But like I said, I almost immediately compartmentalized it and went into the went into nurturing the other person to calm the situation. And I don't know, I just took it on as my own burden right away instead of feeling the trauma.

[01:08:14]

But I think that's really relatable, and that's how fucked up it is to be a woman. We're trained to make men feel... It's okay. Make them feel comfortable. Also because I think it's a survival mechanism, because if you can de-escalate a situation with a a man, you don't know how much farther that was going to go. So our brain goes to... I was talking to my therapist about this the other day. She was like, I call it the blowjob effect. It's like when you're about to get sexually abused or something's about to happen, it's like you can rationalize. Okay, if I just give him a blow job, that will stop me from having to have sex with him. And then people will shame you. You gave him a... Oh, so you did... It's like, you don't know what's going to happen. They could have a gun. They could try to fucking kill you. We know what men are capable And so there's moments where it's just survival. Again, I think it's such a privileged standpoint when people would be like, What do you mean you soothed him? I know exactly what you mean. You immediately go into survival mode of how do I completely de-escalate the situation?

[01:09:16]

The poem you wrote called Rape, did anyone in your life know that you had survived that type of sexual abuse before you wrote this poem?

[01:09:27]

Yeah. Not my parents or my family, but people that I've been with have known.

[01:09:36]

Did your family reach out to you once the book came out?

[01:09:39]

No.

[01:09:40]

Interesting. Did that shock you?

[01:09:43]

No.

[01:09:47]

I'm so sorry.

[01:09:48]

That's okay.

[01:09:49]

I mean, that's- But that's telling of the relationship.

[01:09:53]

Yeah, that perfectly reflects as I would anticipate it, too.

[01:09:58]

We're going to move on to your relationship a little bit. Okay. Mr. Mgk. We're going to move on to your relationship a little bit. Okay. Mr. Mgk. Obviously, this book has a lot of heavy topics. And I know you clarified on multiple interviews you did. I'm not just writing about one person. I'm talking about my life experience. But how did that book just impact your relationship in the moment? Did it open Wounds? Did you have to have a lot of conversations? I can imagine it was tough.

[01:10:49]

Yeah. And because some of the poems are about him, and they're obviously about him. A 32-year-old narcissist attempts to quantify his crimes is about him, and he knows it's about him. And There are other ones like Ghost of Christmas Future, obviously about him. But I also didn't really write anything about him that he hasn't said about himself in his own music. However, that doesn't make it any less sensitive for him to experience me writing about it, because obviously, he feels in control when he's telling his own story, or even maybe he's able to hide behind the music a little bit, even though he's saying all the same things. It felt different in this format. So obviously, he would have to be asked for his experience, but it was not easy. And I think he was really nervous and worried because there's a lot of explosive content in the book, obviously. And there was some fear there. And also, I mean, some of them are about him and are savage.

[01:11:56]

They are, Megan. They definitely are. They're Go read the book, everyone. I feel like everyone has such an opinion on your guys' relationships. You got engaged, then I think it was called off, then we don't know what's going on with you. How would you describe your relationship with SGK?

[01:12:17]

I think that what I've learned from being in this relationship is that it's not for public consumption. So I think as of now, I don't I don't have a comment on the status of the relationship per se. What I can say is that is what I refer to as being my twin soul, and there will always be a tether to him no matter what. I can't say for sure what the capacity will be, but I will always be connected to him somehow. Beyond that, I'm not willing to explain, but all those things you said were accurate, things that have occurred. And I could see them being confusing or interesting to people and them being like, what's up?

[01:13:02]

Yeah. I think the reality is reading your book, I was like, holy fuck. Some of this is traumatizing. This is scary. This is sad. This is really relatable. And I think that's what you just explained. You wanted to do with the book is I think a lot of women, which is unfortunate and sad for us as women, that a lot of people can be like, I've experienced that and that and that. And I think what's sad is so many people probably don't know how many women have gone through that, how many women have normalized getting hit or getting verbally, physically, emotionally abused. It's everywhere. It's one in three women. It's so fucking prevalent. And I think our culture likes to just turn a blind eye and pretend it's not happening. So I appreciate you writing the book, but I agree. I think a lot of people are like, you okay? Are we still in this relationship? And that's for you to decide. I think you're right. It's like, everyone, fuck off. You're going to decide what you're going to do. And also he gets to write his fucking music. And I think you as an actor, it's not like you get to be like, let's change this role to be more like this.

[01:14:20]

This is an expression for you that I bet was healing in a way. To be like, put it out and let it go. Yeah.

[01:14:27]

It also was written just from the one angle of my perspective, meaning this was me being like, I'm writing this from my anger of all these men, all these experiences that I have had. It's not an objective view of my roles in the relationship. Like I said, I failed many times inside the different relationships and was not a flawless. I was not a pure victim. I did plenty of things and provoked plenty of things, not in terms of violence, but I provoked pain or issues inside the relationship as well with my behavior. But the book was not written in a holistic way. It was written from my anger and my pain needed to speak, and that's what the book is.

[01:15:14]

Yeah. Okay. I have a couple more fun questions. Okay. First of all, because we're going to transition and help the girlies out. Okay. How have you gotten to a place in your life where you do not give a fuck about what other people think in their opinions?

[01:15:31]

I have not gotten to that place in my life.

[01:15:33]

Oh, wait, Megan, I thought you did.

[01:15:34]

No, no, no.

[01:15:35]

We still care.

[01:15:37]

No. I guess, like I said earlier, it is a thing of I would never change anything about myself to appease someone publicly. I would never do that. I actually had to one time, Brian was in a custody case with his child, and sometimes a part of the process is everybody has to do a psych evaluation. So all four adults had to go undergo psychiatric evaluations. And mine came back, and they took note of the fact that I was one of the only people that had never attempted to slant the test because it's human nature to want your best self to be seen. So when people are being tested, it's often that they will not lie, per se, but mislead or present a truth that isn't entirely accurate out of wanting to be liked. And I don't have that function or that mechanism. So they took note of the fact that that was completely absent from my psych evaluation, but not in a sociopathic halfway, but in a way where I'm just not somebody who's going to bend unless I'm only doing what I believe in, the end. That will never change. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt my feelings when people spew venom or negativity or hatred towards me.

[01:17:05]

I'm very permeable, actually, because I'm very sensitive. And yes, I've been wearing that armor, but the armor is heavy. And at a certain point In my life, I was down to get some blood on my blade and go to war if I needed to. But I'm tired now, and it's actually wearing on me a lot in this particular moment. For whatever reason, things are coming to a head for me. And I'm not in a place where I don't give a single fuck. I do get hurt. That won't change who I am and how I am and how I speak and how I proceed with my life. But I do still feel the pain of that.

[01:17:43]

How do you, as a mother, handle knowing people are going to try to get at your kids through you and knowing you? Are you paranoid at all with that?

[01:17:55]

Yeah. I lose a lot of sleep about that, especially because at least one of them is I know going to be in the public. Probably all three of them. They're like drop dead gorgeous kids. And both of their parents are actors in this industry. So it's likely that they're going to have some type of public platform at a certain point. I worry about that every day.

[01:18:18]

Do you talk to them about that yet?

[01:18:19]

Not yet. My oldest is 11, and my kids were not allowed. They weren't raised with screens, and they don't have iPads or anything like that at my house or phones. I can't keep It's going to be a step forever. Eventually, that will happen. I'm trying to delay it as long as possible. But when they get a little bit older, it's still too early. And it's also I don't want to put the weight of my experience on them. I want them to have their own experience And I don't want to preload it by being like, this is all the suffering that mommy has been through. This is how the world treats mommy. Mommy has never been loved. Mommy has always been bullied. Mommy doesn't belong. They don't need to feel that. So I haven't found the right way to talk to them about that, but I will have to with certainty. And yes, I lose a lot of sleep about that. Somebody should ask Brian that question. He's watched me cry so many times. He's always like, Are you okay? Because every school meeting, I'm just weeping. I'm always crying because I know what's coming, and I'm not able to live in this moment because I know what's ahead, and I'm not prepared emotionally to have to do it.

[01:19:29]

I can't do it.

[01:19:31]

It's a lot.

[01:19:31]

Yes.

[01:19:33]

Okay. You're going to give the girls- I thought you said they were fun question. It's right here. You are funny, by the way. Thank you. We should do a part two where we only talk about funny shit. We just let you go. Okay. I want to get your take on a couple of scenarios, okay? What would you say to someone who... And then it's a girl going through it. Okay. This girl sees a hot guy at a bar, but is too nervous to go up to him and make the first move. What would you say to her?

[01:20:01]

It's not going to be worth it anyway.

[01:20:05]

Megan.

[01:20:07]

It's not...

[01:20:09]

You're the same bitch that's getting fucking cum in your mouth.

[01:20:12]

Like, go home. It's not going to be worth it.

[01:20:13]

Go home. It's not going to be good. Would you ever go up and approach a guy?

[01:20:19]

I can't be bothered. It's not... What did they give you, really? What do you get out of it, really? I'm sorry. Have you ever gotten a magical dick? Have you ever been gotten a sacred dicking down where you're a better human afterwards?

[01:20:39]

Have you?

[01:20:40]

Because if you have, please tell me. But in my experience, that's not what happens. And it's not worth the drama that they bring and they cause. It's not worth it. Your dick needs to be in direct proportion to the drama that you caused. And if it's not, then you need to fuck the fuck off.

[01:21:00]

Oh, my God. They'd be so little or they'd be huge. There would be no medium boyfriend-sized dicks anymore. Wait, how did you meet Colson? Did he go up to you? Oh, no. Oh, no.

[01:21:13]

No. For the The audience? No. I did not connect to those things. So I just want to make sure that that's on an ongoing continuation of a sentence. Yes.

[01:21:24]

But how did you meet him? Did you go up to him?

[01:21:28]

I met him on set, and we were in a We were doing a movie together.

[01:21:30]

Oh, right, the music video.

[01:21:31]

No, it was before that. We were doing a movie that will forever be upset that we met on the set of that movie. But we were doing a scene, and I had seen his picture before he showed up, and I knew just from his picture, I was like, I recognize that person. And then I looked in his eyes and I was like, oh, yeah, it's you. I've known you for thousands of years. So we were in a situation where it wasn't really about one person coming up to the other. Got it. He's very shy, and he'll I'll tell you he's very awkward as well. So he's not somebody who picks up girls. He's just gorgeous and a famous musician, so he gets them easily. But if he was not famous, he would be struggling because he's not good at that. He isn't. He's a brilliant musician. He's not good at picking up girls or conversations.

[01:22:21]

Are you good at it?

[01:22:24]

I would say that's so subjective. But no, I don't think I'm I'm good at it because I don't like to... I don't flirt. I see how girls flirt. I can't be bothered to do that. I also ask them questions they've never been asked before that they don't want to answer. What? Like the questions you're asking me and shit we're talking about now where I'm like, what's your deepest mother wound? No guy likes to talk about that shit, especially right away when they don't know you.

[01:22:53]

You're like, let's talk about what happened. What happened in the childhood? They're like, huh?

[01:22:56]

Yeah. What are you most traumatized by? What What's your weirdest fetish? What's your... Yeah, they don't like to feel exposed. So I'm not a good. You're not a good. I'm not good at that because they just want you to be pretty and really dumb. And I don't like to play that game.

[01:23:14]

I agree. What if a girl keeps comparing herself to her best friend? How do you stop comparing yourself to women?

[01:23:22]

That's a great question. I don't know that I've ever been in that. You mean from a standpoint of jealousy, comparing to or And more of an envy because there's so many... It could have a venom element or it could just be like, wow, I'm really proud of my best friend. I wish I could get my shit together and be like that. There's different aspects to it. One And I think it's not necessarily unhealthy to be inspired by your friend and to take notes and want to move in that direction. But if it's unhealthy and it's toxic, I don't know that I have great advice. You have to start working on yourself because you have insecurities and things that you need to heal and probably desires need to be satiated and all of these other things that you need to work on because jealousy will always be there with your friend or with just all others. Sucks.

[01:24:16]

Okay, what if a girl is hung up on a guy who ghosted her after a date? What do we do, Megan?

[01:24:24]

I don't know. I can't be friends with that person. You can't be friends with the girl? No. No. What do you mean? Is that rude? I can't be friends with that person. She's upset after she went on a date with a guy one time and he ghosted her, and she still is obsessing over him? No. Yes.

[01:24:51]

You can't be friends with her.

[01:24:52]

I can't do that. That wasn't the question.

[01:24:57]

You're like, I can not be friends with her. Oh, my God. I'm peeing. I mean, we're not friends with her. Okay, what about a girl that's too afraid to tell her partner that she's never had an orgasm?

[01:25:12]

You got to do that. You got to say that. I feel like all of us have been in that position at one time or another. That is not worth living like that, though. You cannot... What is the fear that he's going to feel so insecure or so overwhelmed. How would you do it?

[01:25:34]

How would you do it?

[01:25:35]

Is the question specifically, I've never had an orgasm with you or I've never had an orgasm- With you. That's a different question. How long has it been? I'm making this up. Well, if it's been a week versus 10 years, that's a different conversation.

[01:25:52]

It's been like a year.

[01:25:54]

That's a long time because now you're a liar. That's a long time to keep up that lie.

[01:26:05]

Because now you're a fucking liar, you cunt.

[01:26:08]

No, but now you have to answer for why have you been lying for a year? Don't let it get to that point. I understand the fear of being intimidated or worrying or whatever. You can't live like that. You have to understand the A, orgasm. If he's entitled to an orgasm, you are entitled to an orgasm. The end. So don't let anything, any fear, talk you out of being able to speak that truth. This is your body, and orgasms actually keep women very healthy. It's a vitamin, and you have to prioritize that. So don't be afraid. And if he has a problem with that, he is not for you. And I promise you the dick wasn't that good Anyway, obviously, because you're not coming.

[01:26:49]

Amen. Okay, Megan, last question. What do you think this next chapter of your life will look like for you? I feel like you're about to disappear. This is the last we ever saw Megan talk.

[01:26:58]

I am on the cliff of I don't know. I'm either going to really have some breakthrough where I do transcend into some blissful higher level of consciousness or find some purpose being in service to people, or I will disappear again. I feel like I handled that wrong the first time, though, and I regret some of those years that I lost. So I don't think I'll repeat that. However, I am on the precipice of what am I about to do, and I don't know. I don't know.

[01:27:29]

Well, we'll be looking for you. Megan Fox, thank you so much for calling me on Call Her Daddy. This was overdue, and it was perfect. Thank you.

[01:27:38]

Thank you for staying up so late.

[01:27:41]

It's midnight.

[01:27:43]

Let's go. You did it.