Do you do anything besides work out and talk about feelings? That's all. Know, I don't I don't think it's true, though. It's just great.
Hi, guys, welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to you. Welcome back. Happy Thanksgiving week. Happy Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday. Oh, yeah. Beijng carbs. I said that we wouldn't. That is my Bible. So soup. My mom makes a soup course every year. What are you out here doing? So you were you were bred this way. This is your lineage. Yeah, I was born this way. We've been eating we've been eating appetizers all day long.
We've been drinking all day long. I don't eat a soup course. We're going to 75 side dishes right up. Now you're complaining about a soup. What are you doing?
You need to get your shit together because last week you popped up about Campbell's, I don't know, the arguably the leader in soup. This man is the leader is in it together. And figure out your soup, because people if people are going to follow you as the messiah of soup, the now they don't know where they stand. No, they don't stand. OK, don't be entertaining chicken noodle soup from Campbell's. OK, be like the girl attacked me in homemade chicken noodle soup with a blunt sitting next to rain.
I like that girl. Panaro Soup is my favorite. That's what I like hale and hearty Piñera. She's not microwaved Campbell's Soup. How many more other brands do you want to mention before we have to talk to our sponsors or talk about Ivy Parker? Beyonce over. OK, let's talk about the real ones first. We're bringing back a sponsor things to thanks to Reagan Wireless earbuds for supporting girls. Got to go to buy Rakan Dotcom Syzygy today to get twenty percent off.
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It's the best thing you can do for your butt and it starts at just seventy nine dollars. Go to hello Toshie Dotcom Sluggy to get fifteen percent off the days and free shipping. OK, I've said this before. As I told you, I refused record after dark. Why are we, why are we recording of it now at four o'clock. I didn't, I didn't choose this. I did start Daylight Savings Time. Why are we. We couldn't finish this.
Going to wrap this an hour ago. But what we have to do OK here, what had happened was you guys hear us out Ivy Park, drip two dropped at five pm and I had signed up for the emails. I knew I knew it was today, but I kind of forgotten because we recorded with our guest right before this who was great. He's coming in hot soon. Literally hot case, Kenny, but I got the email thirty minutes ago.
I was like, oh my God, fuck, I totally forgot. So what you do if you guys haven't ever done this, I don't really roll like this. It's too stressful for me. I'm not a person that like waits for like tickets and and shoes and stuff like that to drop. Like, I just don't really live like that.
No shade. But I was like, I want this. If you follow Ivy Park, like the first drip she put out a week or two ago were like really colorful stuff, really cute. I didn't get any of it. I just missed the boat. I was on my way to to like this workout when it dropped. And by the end of the night, I couldn't even get like a hat.
This was like all black and gold. This new this collection of obsessed. Yeah. We've all been looking at it. If you follow me on, say, for like a week or two now and it dropped at five pm, I got the email and I was like, oh my God. So you have to go in and you add a bunch of stuff to your cart and then you set up a pet, you set up all your credit card information in advance.
So it's like literally one click. So I'm sitting there waiting. I have everything in my cart a lot. I'm not I just I really I want I want off. Yeah. And then I'm just waiting and it's counting down. It's really it's really intense. Like it's super climactic and it's counting down and it's like thirty seconds. Thirty seconds, ten seconds. And then you can hit pay now and then you just have to sit there and then it buffers and you're like because it if, if stuff already sold out you won't get it and it'll be buffering and you think you got it and you won't get it.
It happened to me with the first collection I had this hat I could get one hat I had at my cart. I paid, I supported my payment information and then it came back and was like, you didn't get the hat. Someone else got the hat. Like, it's so stressful. And so I put ten items in my car. I was like, checking, sizing blogs. Like, I was like, because you can't take it back or you can't send it back or return it.
So I was just like, I hope all this fades. And then I actually got it all.
I'm really happy. I was happy I was able to share this movie with you. Yeah. Oh, what a rush. You don't really know this, but I made a bunch of business decisions while this was happening over the thirty minute period. I just kept asking you things were OK and you didn't really listen or pay attention.
So now you'll see, guys, I don't know what's going on with the business. So if something goes wrong and I did it while I was shopping, mostly we're just redesigning the Instagram page. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what's. I'm happy for you. Thank you for your support and I'm so excited for all my stuff to arrive soon. All right, well, listen, guys, you can't get that, but you can't get our merch.
Let's talk about our merch as holidays are approaching. I just want to give you guys a reminder on some of the stuff, on deadlines, on the merch in general. It's so sick. It's beautiful. You guys have been buying like crazy, tagging us like crazy. We're very excited about it. Just a reminder, all sales are final if we print everything to order. So just keep that in mind. We have great sizing guides, actually spends a lot of time writing prescriptions.
They're amazing. It's very important, as you guys know, that the fit, the feel of everything. So just keep that in mind. Let's you get a defective product, all sales thing, or of course, of course, keep a lookout on Instagram. Black Blackfriars coming up in May or may not do a sale. Girls, cutie pie, guys. Randy Greenberg has. And then one thing that we have not done before, but we are offering gift cards now.
So if you buy the gift card, I want to offer gift cards to people. If you don't know what size your sister or your girlfriend wear is or your niece, whatever, tons of people to buy is what you can get. Those and those are not size dependent and they're so cute, designed, really cute gift cards and will email them. Designed, um, she's our march. She's our merch expert. Merch manager. Yes. And while we're talking about gifts and holidays, we have our virtual holiday live show on December 13th.
That is a Sunday. It starts at 9:00 p.m. Eastern Time. So whatever time that is in your time zone and we are so excited, we are planning like the best show we can possibly give you guys on your screen and you can watch it, you know, obviously, go watch it on your phone, your computer, your iPad and then mirror to your TV. Have like a little you know, obviously you save covid, save a little party gathering with your household or your your close friends or whatever.
Make your charcuterie, your holiday cookies, get your drinks ready. We're going to have so much fun. I'm so excited about the show. We can't wait. We wish I was in person, but this is the next best thing where and. Yeah, going to wear my gown. Oh yeah. Gowns on gowns. So girls got podcast dot com click on live shows and you'll see the tickets there. A couple of people ask some questions. Can we like transfer the tickets.
It's one code per person that purchases and then you can watch it for at least forty eight hours afterward. So you still have to buy the show before it starts. But you can watch it if you are working or you're it's two a.m. where you live, like whatever it is, you know, I suppose there are European listeners. I mean, some of them have woken up and watched this in the middle of the night. Are people in Australia watch it first thing in the morning?
But we went you guys have a nice viewing experience. So we really want you to be in there while we're doing it live and be able to experience it live with us. But if you're not able to do that, you can buy that ticket. It's an access code. It will work up to forty eight hours after potentially longer. But that's what we want to guarantee at this moment. So keep that in mind. You can watch it the 14th, you can watch it the fifteenth and have your little get togethers and viewing experience.
So a lot of questions on that because we have so many like listeners and like the UK that are like, oh, this is Fauria, my time like or whatever time it is, you know what I mean? So I wake up. Really good news for you. Treelike the royal wedding, wake up in the middle of the night and watch it. I just pretend that we're Kate Middleton. I'll be Pippa. Remember her ass Pippa. I thought the other day was like, remember what people just randomly, like, went crazy over her totally normal ass.
It's kind of crazy to think back, but we had less of the news cycle. You know, the cycle is different. Nothing of the news cycle.
What do we even do? If they were like, oh, Kate Middleton's sister is a nice but she led a trend. There was no pandemic. There was no president refusing to concede. There were like a woman with the.
But I'm I'm. Do you want to talk about Thanksgiving? OK, you want to say we're thankful for. Yeah, I mean that I feel like this year, if nothing else has forced us to be thankful for the very little things you know and the like, even just like phone calls with family, Zoome calls in interaction with the people. Listen to the show and things like that. I think maybe you have, I don't know, a few more specific things.
But in general, for me, like this year, it's just forced me to like, be really thankful. Like every time I see a friend, every time I get to socialize and have these, like, little moments with people, I mean, for better or for worse, you know, I mean, obviously, things are pretty shitty, but it has forced me to have more private, insular relationships with people. And I like that. You know, I think I've deepened my relationships and we've figured out how to support each other.
And I'm thankful that you and I have this business in this audience. And I love that people listen to the show and I'm proud to still have it. And I love you and I'm thankful for you and your family. And, you know, this Thanksgiving will be a little different for me. Last year, my father was hospitalized. I had to rush down to Dallas. Yeah. And, you know, it was it was a different type of Thanksgiving this year.
I'm actually not positive where I'll be next week, so we'll let you know. But I don't know. Makes me it makes me thankful for for a little things and for big things like this audience. Yeah, I'm I'm super thankful. And we know so many people have experienced loss and trauma this year and they've lost their jobs and everything. And we've we feel for anyone that's experienced anything like that, obviously. So I think being thankful for having.
Those things for having health and family that's healthy and a job still, you know, and just those things are just, you know, first and foremost and. So another and we're going have another holiday season. What do we don't worry about it. And so you obviously in our business and these this our audience is so wonderful. I feel closer to them than ever. You know, during the election, I was like messaging with so many people and I just feel really connected, even though we haven't been able to do as much live shows and things like that.
I feel and I just I feel connected to our audience. I'm so grateful for all you guys. Most of you still do me like I'm unfollowing. It's like just go by. No, I'm not thankful for you, but.
Yeah, and I just this was a really I, I feel like at least my experience was this year and we'll do this at the end of the year two was just strengthening my relationship with my family. I lived with my parents and I saw my brother so much more than normal. So I'm just feeling closer to family, you and I. I mean, you and I are locked in for life at this point. Obviously, that's no secret. But like this year, what we've gone through, what are we doing the end of the year episode now?
I don't know what's going on with. Well, let's just say that I cried. I am sorry. I just I feel really proud of what we did. I feel thankful. I think, you know, I feel thankful for the presidency, for the for the end of the Trump presidency. Obviously, this that's no secret. Again, this isn't a political episode, but I'm very thankful that that played out. And I know so many people feel the same, obviously special people that felt marginalized and attacked by the president.
And so that that was a great thing that happened. So I'm I'm feeling thankful. I'm feeling hopeful with hopefully people just stay safe and engage in low risk activities. Hopefully we have a vaccine on the way. So hope hopeful, angry sometimes people just being totally irresponsible, but hopeful nonetheless. And thankful.
Yeah, we hope you guys all have a healthy and wonderful Thanksgiving. We asked you last year, please, again, targets in your food, photos you want you want your you want to talk to or just maybe you can tag me.
You know, here's what I just gave it to me. I love seeing your beige carbs. I love your Thanksgiving plates. It brings me so much. I was alone. I didn't have a Thanksgiving dinner last year. We went to yeah, we went to a steakhouse, but there wasn't Thanksgiving. I don't believe in eating restaurants for Thanksgiving, so I didn't have it. So I got to share in all of your beige carb plates, which is my dream.
You can keep Taggerty in your soup stuff too, but. Oh my God. And you know, I say it all the time. You guys there have been messaging me and I try my best to respond when I can. And the emails and things like that is just like people that are dealing with family members that have these different views than them. And you're going home for the holidays, maybe or maybe you're not. You know, again, let's be as safe as we can.
Like, things are getting worse pandemic wise. Like we just want to, like, minimize the spread while we can and just keep it to small gatherings. But I feel for you that are going to see family and your stressed and you're anxious about those tough conversations or getting triggered and just getting angry. And I'm just thinking about you. I don't know what else wants to say. We've talked about it on a few episodes of, like, how to address those things.
But I'm thinking about you. I'm sending you strength and love and light. So if if you need to, like, go pop off and vent in your old childhood bedroom during the holidays, then tag me in that shit. Oh, I'm down for the. All right.
I'm here for you. You're in my thoughts, all of you that have to deal with that. I'm more vapid than actually, it's just I mean, you're right. And what's your message, Cavs? I want to see you venting about your terrible family members.
We're always with you. OK, so since we're all going to be at home, I'm going to give you a rock'em. So I watched something recently this weekend, a mid-year review. I watched two things this weekend, actually. So I had a whole Charlie Kaufman weekend. I watched Being John Malkovich, which is from nineteen ninety nine, I think. OK, off with a ninety nine movie reviews. Charlie Kaufman is just like really wild, like existential film creator.
I want to see director and he's the director producer. Whatever he has. Right. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So it's he's really like out there concept with really crazy characters. And he did a new movie that I watched this weekend, by the way, being dramatic, which is so weird and quirky. I think everybody should watch it. It's very interesting. OK, he has a new movie called I'm Thinking Of Ending Things on Netflix. It is a bit like a psychological thriller slash horror movie.
I don't like horror movies, but I like psychological thrillers sort of along lines like Shutter Island is what I was thinking. Get out, get out.
I'm thinking of Ending Things is the worst movie I have ever seen and it's not even close.
Wait, why the title is so ironic? Because the entire time I was watching I was like, I am legitimately thinking about ending things. I think you guys should watch it just so you can see how fucking bad it is. What is so bad? It's one of those movies that. Ends and you're like, I have to go read 13 articles to understand what the fuck I just saw. It is such pretentious nonsense. It's unbelievable. And I went online.
I'm like, what do people think about this movie? And I was reading critical reviews versus like audience reviews. Critics are like trying to be all hyper woak with these like cerebral, hyper intellectual talking about like themes that they it's so pretentious. The first hour is like this, like long drawn out like kind of like horror movie with like symbolism. And you're like it's all going to come together, like everything is going to like stitch itself together. In the end, nothing ever happens.
It's the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. And I'm fucking mad, a mad that I wasted the time of my life. So I'm just going to reduce some audience reviews. OK, first of all, they interviewed Charlie Kaufman, who created the movie, just like because I was like, what the I don't want to slam someone else's art, you know. Right, right, right. I don't want to be out here like this guy is terrible.
So, like, I was like, you know, what does he think of the movie? So there there's a Vulture article. Charlie Kaufman is not a fan of solving movies for his audience. He's quoted as saying, I'm not really big on explaining what things are. I let people have their experiences. I really do support anybody's interpretation. No, this is not an abstract painting. I need you to stitch this up and give me an answer, OK?
And so do the people. People wrote my first review ever because I felt like it was my civic duty to lower the rating on this. I'm considering suing this director for the precious minutes of my life that are wasted. I will never be as young as I was before watching this movie. Oh, my God. I had to Google it to understand what the fuck just happened. And now I know it makes even less sense than I originally thought it did.
Maybe you have to be high for this to make sense. What a spectacular waste of two plus hours. I literally feel like an interdimensional time thief robbed me of the precious time of my life. I will literally never get back. So why don't you just turn it off? So like one of the things you have to see it through, I have to see everything through.
I would rarely like. Oh, I turn off all the time. I know you were very different. Like I'll stop reading the book. I don't fucking like this anymore. The first hour you're like, I don't want to give any terrible spoilers away.
Like, I mean, I guess you guys could fast forward a couple of minutes. I'm not really going to go with the first hour. There's like so many things happening and you're constantly picking up all these clues and you're like, they're going to stitch this together at some point. There's all this, like, wild shit happening and all this symbolism. And it's narrated by this like really sad girl who keeps repeatedly saying, I'm thinking of adding things and then like it spirals into this unbelievably pretentious cerebral nonsense, whether they're referencing all of these things like no one really knows about.
There's a scene from Oklahoma. They do the John Nash speech from a beautiful mind. There's a cartoon pig. There's all these weird actors doing dances and getting married, murdering each other. It spirals into the crate. I thought I was hallucinating. It was so crazy. Yeah, nothing. It just they never stitch any of it up. If any of you watch this and can understand this or God God forbid, like it, please explain to me how I don't think you're supposed to understand it.
It sounds like the director was just like, fuck it. Let's just like take everything out of my imagination and throw it into this movie. And I actually don't care if you like it. That's pretty much how was your air first? It's the worst movie I've ever seen and it's not even close.
Well, if you're looking for a great movie to cleanse from that one, I do recommend Home Alone or celebrating its thirty year anniversary just this just last week. You guys, we're talking to you, Meems, obviously tag me. Don't get me. But yeah, home alone. It's that season. And people were sending me this article, too. You know, Donald Trump isn't home alone, too, because they felt the plaza or whatever, and he maybe owns the plaza.
He did. Or he was. He did. And he his thing is that he any time people film there, he made them right in a part for him. So he forced his way into the movie. So the producer, director, whoever has come out and said that like, no, we didn't want Donald Trump to make a cameo. He has to be in every movie if they film it his property. Of course he does.
Anyway, I just had to share that tidbit. So anyway. But then because he was because he wasn't who he became, people liked the cameo. So they support showed it to test audiences. People loved it. But I just thought it was interesting. A little fun tidbit. Leave him alone and leave him alone too. And I think it's one of the I don't know, I still prefer the first one. It's one of the rare things where the sequel was just as good.
It wasn't a flop because sequels don't get me started and people weren't listening to this. You guys don't imagine how much she loves this movie if you guys are not a long time listener. Last year we were in Chicago and you got to buy yourself and went to the house. Oh, my God. And so but I think it must have just listened recently. We love when you guys hear something that we say on an old episode. And the reference isn't even older Instagram photo when you guys go back and find it.
So, yes, we were in Chicago last year for our holiday shows and I wanted to go see the house and I had an Uber driver, obviously took an Uber there and you don't want to go, but it was fine. You just were like getting up and doing that. I had the Uber driver take all my pictures that you're about, like I credited him in the Instagram crash and I was like credit goes to Adam Duncan from Uber. And it was we had this great day.
He nailed the shot. And then the other thing, if you're in the home alone, I recommend is Netflix is to show that movies that made us. Yes, the movies made us. Yes. That Homeloans the No. My favorite one. They also do Dirty Dancing. So if you haven't seen I do recommend that I talk about my date. OK, so I went on this date and it was super hyped, if you follow me on Instagram, because I was just like showing screenshots of us, like bantering.
This guy was so funny. I I went out with them last week, a week ago at this point, I. The vibe was not there. He looked exactly the six six, just like I said, he looked like he is pictures the his energy we vibe. I just don't want to say anything else. This is a really nice person. So I'm just like, I don't want to drag this person saying, this person, we were not him.
Not everybody is for everybody. Not at all. And I knew we weren't a match very early on. And obviously, I'm like, well, we're here. So, like, we're we're going on a date. And we went we sat outside. We went we went to the standard. And I can tell you this. You, you and I interview people for a living. I can make the best of any situation as long as someone's not being rude or condescending or, you know, racist or something crazy.
Like, I can sit through a couple drinks with them. Like, I, I take it as a challenge. We have a mantra and it comes from my best guy friend, Rob. We've talked about it, the three of us, like no bad dates, you know, like get something out of every day. Like everybody has a story to tell. Everybody has something you can learn from them. Like people have jobs and they have life stories.
And it's like, just take what you can again, unless someone's being rude and just like you can't stand their energy. Yeah. So I'm always like, what can I learn about this person and take away from this? And I you know, I'm here like he took the path train here, like we're here. I'm not just going to like, dip after one drink, you know what I mean? Of course. And I agree with you.
Just because you don't date somebody me, they're garbage person. And so. Right. I'm not kidding you. It got to the point where we were talking about our favorite candles. I don't know.
Losing perspective, I like candles like more than your average person, I can tell you every candle brand, I'm obsessed with smells and candles even I could only get two minutes of conversation. So he would talk about our favorite candles that I was like, what's your thoughts from the hotel Bella in Charleston? Like, I need to call them and see if whatever, because you can't you can't order it online.
So then he said something about carving pumpkins and having, like, candles next to it. Again, this if you were to watch me on this date, you would be like, that is not the Ashley Hasseltine. I know. You know what I mean? Because I'm just like we weren't vibing, so I was just kind of having to, like, get it up and trying to interview this guy to kind of keep the conversation going. And he said, I did carve pumpkins and go, oh, my God, can I see a picture?
Like, can I see a picture of the pumpkin you carve? Why do I don't care? How are you so bored? I asked you a question, I, I asked, can I see a picture of a pumpkin you carve? No, I don't care. I mean, I don't know it like a dope pumpkin.
So it's not a dog like I, you know, of course be like I see pictures of your dog or whatever, but ah you're like classic car. But I didn't care but I'm just like, well it's something else we can buy time with. So he shows me a picture and there's two, there's two pumpkins. One was like, oh clearly. Oh girl had done it. Oh it was like a cat or some shit. It was like his scary chocolate.
Our next to this like kitty cat pumpkin. And I was like, who's pumpkin was is. And then, you know what is more Sherlock Holmes than his pocket, and he said, this girl I was dating, I was like over Halloween, it's November six or whatever, you know? And I don't care because I'm like this guy. I don't have a girlfriend for all I care at this point. Like, I'm not into him like that.
So so I'm just like, oh, juicy relationship. Let's get into it. I love when you finally realize you're not going to fuck a person. You goose beers. What a dream. I think you go off. And so he was like this girl I was dating at the time. It got kind of awkward. I was like, oh, I don't care. I feel bad looking back because I was like, oh, I don't care if you have a girlfriend.
I said that I couldn't help myself. You said, I don't care if you were. And then I was like, no, I mean, I would care because that's not cool. But I don't care if I'm not going to date. I don't care who's on a piece of shit. I blurted it out and I was like, God, can I can I dig myself out of this hole? And I was like, oh, no. I mean, I'm just like, this is our first date yet.
And he was like, yeah, I was I was dating. This girl is like, what happened? Like, you know, me, I just divert people's relationship. I just once I decide I'm not going to date you, I don't care. It's a mess. We built up. We built a career on breakups like my brand. So I'm like, oh, what happened? And he was just like, oh, she kind of like I think he was looking at me like, Are you kidding me?
Were you OK? I washed over him and he was get fucked, you know. But that's like when you know you know how I knew I wasn't into him.
He's like, this is how how you knew you were in.
And he was like, yeah, she just kind of like it was somebody I had been dating for a little bit and she wanted something more serious and I didn't.
And the more original. But then he said something else about another thing in the conversation that, like, I just couldn't help myself. I started, like psychoanalyzing him. I'm like, So do you feel like you have, like, walls up? Like, why can't you really get close to people? I was like full on therapy session because that's the should I like to talk about and I'm here. I ordered another fucking cocktail. You came from New Jersey.
Let's talk about your problems. I mean, he texted me the next day, but I think we both know we're not going to date. You know, I think I think that the vibe was there. Like, I think he was just texting to be polite, but I'm not going to see him again. But really, really nice guy. And it's always nice. And someone shows up and you realize you weren't garfish. Like they do look like they're photos.
And then I met a girl, like a girl's got to eat listener, like in like coming out of the bathroom at the standard. And I love this bitch. Like, I was like, can we be friends? She did. We did a little bit. But I'm like, no, I actually do want to be friends. She's like one of our older listeners. She's in her 40s. She was there with this beautiful man. She did tell me they kind of fucked that night.
You you texted me later and you go, I'm not going to dinner, but I got a friend out of it. I was. And I go, oh, my gosh, that's so sweet. Are you going to be friends with him?
You're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm in our listener. Yes. You look so sweet. What else? What an amazing thing to say. He's got a good friend out of it.
No, I got to tell you, I met this girl kind of walking. We like met you know, I was going to the bathroom, she was coming out the bathroom, whatever.
And she's like, oh, my God. Actually, she was like, I loved the episode of not living with somebody like you really get me whatever. And so when my dad went to the bathroom and of course, I whip out my phone, I'm texting you whatever I hear, Ashley.
I hear this girl and I was like, what the fuck?
And I turned around and there she is with her hot man just waving, and she was like, What's up? And I was like, what is going on with. I said, what's going on with you to stay there? No, no, no. With her and her. This guy was her man gone. He was sitting right there. You were like, what's what's the story felt like this day? What's that about for adults? Like, I'm not going to make it awkward.
I was like, what's going on here? Is this a date? And then she was like, oh my gosh, we've been friends. But that we fucked. But then we dated. But then we and we that and I was like, you two look like you're like the this a beautiful couple from a movie. Like she looked like Sandra. Oh, he was. I don't even know. He was beautiful. I was a girl. What happened last night.
Like we are like Fresno.
You put her on blast in front of her man. I love like a woman that she's like, yeah, let's talk about it. We'll talk about it right away. You know, I'm kind of intuitive and I could feel that there was an energy. He was like, yeah, you can be they were they were going to open up whatever was going on. You could read the room. You and I aren't like some social deviants that are just like out here ruining people's lives.
Yeah, I could tell there was some energy between them. This wasn't the first date. I wasn't making it awkward like she was so fucking cool, you know, like I was just like, can I come sit over there? We're going to do. But I mean. So that's why you were so funny. You go, oh my God, you're going to be friends. Then I was like, no, no. A girl. The best I thought was so sweet.
I was like, oh, we're not going to throw we're not throwing people away. Now you're like our listener. Well, our listeners are cooler than everybody.
So that's my story. I'm one of you. And I think it's good to have a good attitude about it. I think a lot of people walk away from dates like that is really discouraged. And that's it's such a bummer because, you know, especially like you thought the banter was great. And I think that you have, like, a really great attitude about it because it can be really disappointing when you build a person up. The banter is great.
They're cute, they're good. Hi. You're excited. And then it's just like you're like, oh, I'm walking home alone. Yeah, but at least I'm not taking the path home, you know, like worse for him. Yeah. Like that guy that I get to walk around the neighborhood. Right. Like that guy that I ditched on the date last year because he like really made me feel uncomfortable. And I lived across the street. I was just walking back to Queens or whatever it was he was from.
But yeah. But maybe I'll reveal a little bit more at the live show. You guys get tickets? I'm not sure what I want or I don't want to do is God forbid this guy listens and I say something insulting because he was a really nice person and tall and good looking. Well, I have one final update for you guys about my neighbor.
I know this. I think so.
I don't know if I told you I ran into the girlfriend incident. Yeah, because if you guys aren't good, if you guys are caught out basically like on Election Day, him and I, when Joe Biden won the election and I spent the whole day together, we weren't around. We're drinking. We went to Washington Square Park, met with his friends. It was a super fun day. I didn't know anybody that we were with. And then his girlfriend that I did not know existed showed up.
He invited me to come and I he just would have thought he would have mentioned it. Yeah. You know, maybe like a person you've slept with for a year and a half, by the way, somebody I mean, this is not this is not a long term growth. This is a new girlfriend. So this is not I wasn't sleeping with a person that I don't. No, no. You yeah. But I ran I, I think that, like, I started thinking about this because I just got up and left as soon as she showed up, like, how lucky is he that I have like the class and the grace to just get up and walk away and not start a huge fucking fight.
I mean, I was kind of drunk and I was. Yeah, but yeah, I was doing I was just like, I'm not going to say anything like, fuck, I don't care about this person. Like, I really have this theory that, like, it's worth having fights with people and talking to people about their behavior if you want to have a relationship with Tasha. But yeah, if not, who cares. If you did something that bothered me, I would talk to you about it.
I was in the elevator with him and I got in the elevator to do laundry and he got in and then someone else got in right behind him.
And we had to take the elevator like twelve floors together. And he's like, How are you? And I was like, I'm good. And he was like, how is the rest of your election day? And I was like, Are you fucking baiting me into doing this? Am I going to say something? Am I going to say why? It was like another person in the elevator with me and like, I just got off the elevator and I didn't say anything and the doors shut and I just like I feel good about the decision.
I didn't need to, like, bring myself to some crazy point of yelling at a person and it's just over. Well, and it's one of those weird things of like, again, like in a court of law, he didn't do anything. And then you're then you're out here trying to tell a person that you don't care about having a relationship with, you know, why they, quote unquote hurt you, but they did it, you know what I mean?
Like, it's just it's. Well, you don't point what's the point? Like, you would 100 percent you would do that if it was a friend or somebody felt close to where you were like, this hurt me, but it didn't even really. Cause who fucking cares? Yeah. Yeah, what? It's wasting your breath. Yeah. So I think it's just a good lesson in like picking your battles. It's like if somebody doesn't mean anything to you, just let it go.
Yeah. So that's my update. I appreciate the update and that's it. We're going to get into it. We have a great episode for you. I would, I kind of I used it. We have a great guest case and I hope you'll listen to him in like five minutes. So you guys are gonna love him. First, we're going to talk about earbuds and masturbating before we get into it. OK, well, then I'll just kick it off.
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Oh my gosh I didn't even tell you this.
This is a story that maybe we'll tell it the live show. I don't even know. It's not that important. But basically something happened with a guy I used to date and he sent me at a very weird time, a song that came up on his Spotify that made him think of me. And the rest of the story surrounding it was like, why'd you send me this? That was kind of weird, but it said he was listening on his records and like, I just wasn't going to chitchat with him.
And it took everything and means not to be like. Did you use cogie for those records? I just like it. I was like, I'm not going to say that's how, you know, I was a little I don't want to talk. I was a little pissed off. Yeah. Like the whole thing that it had had transpired. It's a long story. But I remember seeing it said he was like it says where you're listening to it, I was like, God damn it, of course he's listening on his record.
That's how, you know, you really want to talk to somebody not even going to plug our sponsors. I never miss a moment to be like cogie. Yeah, OK. Speak is something we're giving you a discount for that. I think it's so great game products like what's it going to be? Obviously Dame Dame products, it's it's a sex toy company and it's fantastic. I have a funny story for you guys. I have recommendations for you guys.
I'm it's a female founded company. It's based in Brooklyn. They've tested it on people with real vaginas. OK, there's a lot of different sex toy companies. I really love this one and I really love their products. I think like what a better gift for the holiday is also like gift an orgasm to somebody. They have toys that are great for partners and toys that are great by yourself. There are so many different shapes for what the products are beautiful.
So oh God. The most beautiful. The they have different colors. They have like quartz colored vibrators, they have clitoral stimulators, they have actual fibers. You stick up inside of yourself. OK, I have to tell you guys I recommended this. I OK, well I was like dirty talking with somebody right after I got these vibrators that I used to have their vibrator to talk about.
I know what you're going to say. Oh, my God, I can't wait to talk. OK, sorry, sorry. I used to vibrators at the same time. I used the arc, which is beautiful. It goes inside of you. It's gorgeous. You use it as a stimulant or whatever. And the EVA two, which is a hands free vibrator, just stick on your plate. So I was just like dirty talking with somebody knows how to vibrators on myself at the same time.
And then I talked about it on the podcast a little bit. I just thought it was like super funny. And a listener sent this to Iz Dame put me on their website, try the Rayna approved double vibrator experience. And also let me just say it's at our link. So whatever is it, DAIM products, dotcoms, Osugi, whatever it is, we'll get to it. That's where you go to see this ad. Right, right. Right on the home page it says Save forty six dollars.
There's a lube next to it. There's they photograph's it together. It's hilarious. Let me tell you a little bit more about the products that are waterproof.
Let's wrap up. OK. All right. All right. I going.
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It's a great gift to give somebody. They work really well. I get up every single time. It's in my gold box next to my bed to try the ah, try the Palm tribe, the Egberto. They're beautiful. You're going to love it. You're going to orgasms. And now we're going because discount code with deem your satisfaction is literally guaranteed for fifteen percent off your first order. Go to Daim products, dotcom, sugi and as always, all partners.
All discount codes. All links on our website at Girlguiding podcast Dotcom. Yes. Screenshot that Raina. Double penetration experience and Tagus in your Instagram stories, of course. And get the bucket hat and the socks. OK, right. I'm going to introduce our guys. I am really excited guys. We have an awesome guest in the studio with us today. He is a Chicago based writer and podcast here with millions of downloads for his podcast New Mind Set Who Dance.
He loves Adidas more than I do somehow. He loves writing on Post-it notes. And you can go to his Instagram to see what I mean. Maybe you'll see him in the white Babits wearing to that baby seat. Yes, please welcome to the House studio. OK, Kenny.
Thank you. I thought we were going to wait at least thirty seconds for that. But here we are, the way we go, we come in here and I just go hard right up top so people know exactly what a piece of shit I. Yeah, I mean the benefit of buying from baby Gap is, it's much cheaper. So I can get like five of these for the price of an adult size t shirt. So this is going to skyrocket gaps stop gap like one up 90 percent with their khakis after Steve Kornacki during the election, literally, like the people are like, what are Steve Kanakis khakis?
And there they were. Gap, gap. They sold ninety percent. They were up nine percent. So now I feel like the Babits are going to start selling. You're welcome. By Stock Tip guys. Insider trading get in early. Yeah, I know. Thanks for having me though. I appreciate it. Thanks for being here.
Well, we were really excited we found you on the Internet and I've been following you for a while and I love the stuff that you do. I love your insights. You know, all jokes aside, I think that you're really interesting. So we would love to hear a little bit more about you and for you to answer our favorite question. What gives you the right? So what gives you the right to talk about what you talk about, what you're like, so giggly?
I thought you were going to say, I find you really good looking like I thought you were going to, like, take it and get really weird with it. But yeah, interesting and smart. Let's make it weird. I'm trying to I'm trying to remember who told me about you. Do you remember how you found keys to a girlfriend of mine tagged you? I'm in something. She's single and cute, but apparently actually that, you know, we got to move on this show where you know where to do this to you.
Earlier you did this.
I'm a friend of mine to talk to you and her story. And I was like, oh, this is really interesting insight. I've never heard it spun this way because you do a lot of thought, dating and relationships. That's how I started following you. I sent it to Ashley. We asked you to come on the show. You tagged us in an Instagram post. We reposted about five thousand of our followers, but slots just stormed your Instagram and here we are today.
That's so funny. Yeah, well, thank you. Yeah. I mean, I can answer your question for sure. I mean, I give a lot of dating advice now, but I never in a million years thought I would answer your question. All right. I think I'm woefully unqualified to give dating advice. I think what I'm good at is simplifying things in life. And I've been a writer and a podcast there for a while, and I talk about mindfulness in general, mindfulness, and that boils down to a lot of different things.
And and I have a podcast called A New Mindset. Hudis and I talk about mindfulness. And I didn't even start talking about dating and relationships until way, way in. And I'm like 14 years old. So I waited until episode sixty nine to even give dating advice. So I was like and then once I did on such a deep level, I mean, bless your heart, any time I can make a sixty nine joke. So I started giving advice, thoughts.
I wasn't even advice, I was just like thoughts and people seemed to really resonate with it. And I'm still trying to figure out why. I think it's you know, I tend just to be able to simplify things like for myself, like everything I do, as selfish as it sounds like the podcast, the writing, like I started it all for myself just to, like, talk, talk through my own thoughts. I'm like kind of dive into it.
And people are like, wow, this is cool. I'm like, I'm going to keep doing it. So then now I'm the guy who walks around Chicago taking pictures of my feet with Post-it notes and it's just like kind of took off honestly. You know, I wrote some books. And things have kind of blown up, but, yeah, I mean, I always say, like I call myself a dude bro guy, which is like a combination of all things, just dude, because I am I mean I mean, you made fun of my t shirt talking about doing push ups right before I had protein shake.
I'm going to listen to some house music after this is just the way it is. That's just who I am. You know, I'm not like some expert. I'm not some guru, even though I do meditations and I do mindfulness things like any time someone's like, oh, you got to align your chakras and you got to vibrate at a higher frequency. I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, I don't know, I can't read good.
Like I don't know what you're saying. So long winded way of just saying, you know, like I think what I bring to the table and the reason humbly that people dig what I write and say is just like simplifying it. These topics, whether it's dating or mindfulness or just, you know, bringing in a new thought to it from just an everyday relatable kind of dude.
I think it's really helpful and inspiring to other people because we get a lot of people to say, like, how do I get into X thing? I want to do this thing and it's hard to explain it. It's like you just have to do stuff that you love and lean into it and hopefully other people enjoy it. There's not like you can't wake up and be this person. So I think that your path is great. Did you study anything like this in school?
Did you study like psychology or anything? No, no. Again, I try to picture this picture like myself, you know, somewhat tall white dude. I studied Chinese language in college. I studied Chinese. I don't care. How tall are you? Yeah, your answer is irrelevant at this point case. I'm six to sixty two point five six three six feet. Do you do you speak Chinese? I majored in it in college. Wow.
That's so impressive. I have like I feel like I look at the Chinese language and feel anxiety. It's really cool. I was always good at it, like I'm bad at a lot of things like accounting and like calculus. But I was and like I was premed for a while. I couldn't I it was horrible. I had to drop that stat, but I was always good at languages. I was weird. I lived in China, I did all that stuff.
But I was dead a long time ago. But yes. So no, no, it's funny because you don't have any, like therapy, background or psychology or anything like that. But I get messages from licensed therapist all the time and they're like, hey, I'm a licensed therapist. I'm like, oh shit, you're going to blow up everything I just said. And they're like, actually, what you said is tied to this theory and this theory.
So it's like somehow in some roundabout dude way, it comes back to something that's actually been like verified or scientific. So got that going for me.
So you wrote this book, Single Is Your Superpower. I brought it. I bought it and I brought over an ashtray. I like to do research. We like to do research on our guests before we have them on two books. One's a journal. Oh, OK. And one's a book. So let's talk about it and then we're going to talk about being single and owning it. We're not a mixed signals. We're going to talk about looks.
We've got a lot of stuff to do it. So maybe this is like a good way to lead into sort of your theories and thoughts on being single. So tell us about the book. Yeah, yeah. No, I appreciate you grabbing the book. Yeah. I mean, so I called it Single is your superpower because I think I think it is like I think being single, I think understanding the opportunity, what it brings, what it brings to your table when you are single, it is a superpower.
It's not something that I think you should look down on. It's not something you should try to escape as quickly as possible. You know, it's a chance to become secure in so many different ways. And I could talk about this forever. The way that I think about it is I try to like take myself out of out of my current time and like, look ahead in 50 years. Thirty call thirty years, or talk to someone who's been married for twenty years.
And I think if you were to ask that person, you know, if they regretted being single, they would never say they regretted being single. Like, I don't think it's possible to be like I regret being single back in my 20s or 30s. I think there's lots of other things that you might regret in life. Right, like a relationship that you knew you shouldn't have been and that you continue to be in, you know, dating the wrong people, doing these these actions that you knew were wrong for you.
But I don't think you could ever literally and honestly look back and be like, I regret being single. I think sometimes it's, you know, you could be lonely when you're single. But I think the pros massively outweigh the cons. So I talk a lot about that in the book. It's like half book, half journal. And the journal aspect is designed to kind of do all the things that I think you should do when you're single, which is namely figure out what your wife is and your dating life like similar.
Similarly, we have a Y and you know, our personal lives. I think you need a Y and you're dating life. You know, I was in a relationship for a long time before I started the podcast and I hopped out of that relationship and I was like, wow, like, who am I? What do I want? Like, all those kind of things. Right. So I just kind of channeled all that into, you know, into the podcast.
And then after doing that for a while and being single now for like two to three years, I'm just like I've massively grown through it and it's been so valuable for me. So I you know, that's why I say singles or super bar. So when you say the why what exactly it does is the definition of the why from. Your end. Yeah, I think we'll I think why a in dating like this might not seem like a big difference, but it is to me like I think a lot of time if I ask myself previously, if I ask people who Dmae or message me, I'm like, well, you know, like literally the question, why are you dating?
Like, why are you on apps? Why are you going on dates? Why are you looking for a partner? People are like, what do you mean why? Like that's what you're supposed to do. You're not supposed to be alone. You're supposed to create a life with other people. You're supposed to share, you know, your talents. You're supposed to raise a family like things like that. And I think those are very valid answers. I think absolutely like we're wired like biologically in a sense.
I suppose, again, I'm not a scientist. You're supposed to pair off. That's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to create a life for someone else. But I think I think you have to date you have to have a more self-serving way, like my wife. And this is the most cliche why in the world. But it's personal to me. It's like I date to find someone who helps me become a better man. That's why I date.
And then part of that is then. Yes, so we could build a life together and so that I'm not alone and we can start a family and create a legacy and like those kinds of things. But inherently it's like it's personal and somewhat selfish in a positive way. And I feel like a lot of times people don't really think about that, like, why are you dating? Like, it's just something you do. So like my whole thing, when I talk about being single, it's like I'm not encouraging people to, like, go and hold it up and like, do you like I love that.
I even have a chapter in a book called Your Ho Phase where it's like I like do that. Like I'm not saying, you know, you should always be single. I'm saying when you're single, you should make the most of it and figure out all these things. Then the top one being your why. Like why, why are you dating? And if you don't know your wife then then don't date figure it out. So like that. That's my biggest thing.
And it's helped me a lot because I used to like I would date just go through the motions like I wasn't even thinking. Like it's amazing how many things we do, just like to do it and we don't think it through. Like why like why do we do it now?
We just do it so well, like society and like what what's what's considered normal. You know, like we talk about stuff that's like I don't want children. I don't know that I want to live with somebody even if we're married, like, I don't know, like it's kind of people just think they're supposed to do these things, like you said, like, I suppose I'm supposed to be on the apps. I'm supposed to do these things. It's like not if you don't want to, not if it's not your truth.
So I was like, love that you said that. Like, what am I looking for? Why am I doing this? Why am I out here? Like, you cannot start the process if you don't know that answer are going to be successful. I think. I think so. Right. It's like yeah. It's like you're wandering around in the dark and you just like give yourself a little bit of light. You know, I talk in the in the book too, and on the podcast about like, you know, being single.
It means you, it means you're dating like you're out there and you're dating and you're doing it with intent because you know, you're y but it's also like to your point, you're you're figuring things out for yourself, like it's one thing to like even listen to my podcast or read my writing and hear the things that I say. I'm like, this is a red flag. That's a red flag. Do this. Don't do that. I think that's that's decent.
But you have to prove all those things for yourself. Like, I think life is built on your experiences. You have to touch it, feel it, smell it, whatever. Like you shouldn't take someone else's advice that it's a red flag. Maybe it's not a red flag for you or maybe, you know, something is less important for you. But it's the most important thing to some other blogger. It's like that's why I say, like being single, it's your opportunity to prove all these things to yourself.
What is actually important to you? What do you actually want? Where are the values that you want? What are the values that you bring to the table like all these things? So it all goes hand in hand to me, like you're proving to yourself what you're doing and why you're doing it right. And if it's you're just like my is I want to fuck. Great, that's great. Do that thing. Yeah, exactly. But I love that because you're being intentional like my whole, my whole thing with what dating is like.
So many people date without intention and you know, it doesn't make them bad people. It just means they haven't taken the time to do all those things we just discussed. And you're going to run into those people all the time. And that's where you get into into trouble with, you know, people being ambiguous, people giving you mixed signals. People go signals because they don't know why they're doing what they're doing, or maybe they do, but they don't have the balls to say it.
Right. So that's why. Yeah, I think that's exactly it. If if you just want to f then have at it, but be upfront with that, like that's cool. But you know, just say it. Yeah, absolutely. Well we are just going to take a very quick break to talk about our other partners for this episode. We will get right back into this conversation with Case.
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It keeps approximately 50 water bottles out of landfills and oceans per comforter, which is fantastic. I really can't say enough about it. I am obsessed with my bed and my bedroom and staying comfortable and staying the perfect temperature. And I absolutely love this. It's just the perfect, like weight of a comforter. Yeah. And I have people you asked me what I have my bed, even though I say it every time we do this, I have the the cloud and then all of the soft hemp sheets and duvet.
And I'm obsessed with the way this feels. I don't really like like to like shiny sat me feeling I am obsessed with the way the soft hem feels obsessed. I have the white duvet cover on my puffy cloud and the sheets and the pillow cases. Obviously it's the best my bed has ever been in my entire life. And again, I've been sick with this Buffi for two years, so I we can now talk about how it hasn't flattened or whatever the word is like.
It's still as fluffy as it was two years ago. Look here we can give a review to years later, that's so true, I never thought of that. I've had the exact same one for two years. My bad it is lost. No volume. Yes. There you go. There's the language I was looking for and it is great. And I'm very sensitive to what I have on my bed because it's my happy place. So we're going to give you guys a discount for twenty dollars off your Buffi comforter.
You guys can visit Buffy and enter the promo code GGGI. That's Babydaddy CEO and the promo code is JGI for twenty dollars off. It also comes in a great box. It'll look great under your tree if you want to gift it. It's just like a really fun thing to to wrap up or gift for yourself. So check it out guys and get yourself a discount from us. All right. So let's get back to case. We were talking about being single and your why and all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, I think that it's interesting to me, like, I never really thought about it this way. My brain at this point, I think a lot of people do date just to find a partner just because they don't want to go to a party alone. Then I'm going to go to a wedding alone. Yeah, they want to live with another person and come home to somebody. At the end of the day, those are those are fine reasons.
I'm not I'm not discounting that. But I do see people make a lot of decisions and get into situations that I would say are not good situations just because they don't want to partner that body. I mean, you know, I think that that's a sad way to make decisions. And you put yourself in this position where you've like. You have to sacrifice a lot of what you want, I think, to have this person, because you've made these decisions only based on I need a partner insert body.
Yeah. You just buy an off the shelf human for that. Like what, do you like it. Yeah. Yeah, I have issue with that and I think we've all gone through that phase certainly like you know, I did that all in my twenties and I realized that, you know, you're going to end up frustrated because you do all these things without intention, like the whole point of doing like all like when I say like mindfulness, I think mindfulness is extremely applicable in dating.
Of course, like all mindfulness is self awareness. Like people have all these different definitions of mindfulness and meditating all it is a self awareness. How how like how long are you of what you're doing and why you're doing it? I think we're aware of what we're doing, but why are we aware of why we're doing it? I think a lot of times, no, like, I really I think we just do things. We just do it just to do it.
How do you instruct people to do that? Well, I mean, it's it's literally just that way it's asking yourself questions. Like, I think the question of why is the most powerful thing in the world. I think you could break down anything in your life that's frustrating you, anything that's eluding you, any feeling that you're lost, they're falling behind or anything like that, you could break it down with why to a point where you might not have an answer, but at least you know why you're thinking what you're thinking.
I think the reason that people are anxious a lot of the time in life or frustrated is because, you know, they have this this overwhelming feeling of, you know, of being lost or something like that. But if they just dove into it, they could really pinpoint what the reason is. So my whole thing with the like with journaling in general, like I created a journal called the New Mindset Journal that's like sixty days worth of just playing twenty questions with yourself, but like really specific questions.
The same thing for dating. Like I put all these questions in here about like to write ten qualities that you think you want in someone. And then I do this whole chapter. On the flip side of that, I have this this thought process. I like to borrow analogies from various hip hop R&D superstars like are you bringing your milkshake to the yard? I did this whole thing where it's like like you like you want you want these attributes in someone else.
But are you bringing yours to the yard? You know what I mean? Like, so it's like this is double. I sure like you want someone who's kind, compassionate, who communicates and all these things. Well it's like I think you're a bit of a hypocrite if you yourself. Yeah. Either don't bring those things to the yard or aren't working to bring them to the yard. Right. So like the journal that helps you like dive into that.
So it's all about question and answer. Like I feel like, you know, you just don't ask yourself this question.
My my boobs are the milkshake. That's what I'm bringing. What's your milkshake. My his six pack. OK, no, there's more to us than that. We'll talk about that. It's all about look also I'm not like that attractive. OK, so I'm out here like it's not all about looks because I'm so beautiful.
OK, so I think we'll get into it. And the mindfulness in general, the meditation and those things are just to maybe there's multiple reasons. I got I'm not I'm a meditation expert by any stretch, but like just to quiet your mind, to even get to those questions and answered. Right. Like, I feel like is that why you meditate to be able to get into the headspace to start asking the questions?
Yeah, well, actually, so I'm like really bad at meditation. I like I am like 8D, like I'm looking at other things in my apartment. I just like I can't focus. So one of the things that I do, I do them like every six episodes on the podcast is I collaborate with DJs and producers and I create dance music. I imitations. I've done them with Griffin and I'm doing well with also and Sam Felton and all these different people.
It's like it's like kinetic meditation. You do it while you're working out. Right. And so for me, I get in a certain headspace when I hear the right music, like progressive, upbeat, like house music, EDM music. Puts me in the right zone, so it's it's relative for different people. Some people are fine sitting down and, you know, clearing their mind. If I sit down and try to clear my mind, I'm just going to do a highlight reel of all my awkward moments of the past 10 years.
Like, I just can't I just can't focus like this the way it is. So that's the way that I do it. But regardless of how you do it, that's the whole the whole thing. Right. It's quieting your mind to an extent so that you could become aware of your intentions. I think a lot of times we don't even know what our intentions are. That's the biggest thing. We're just like robots. So, yeah, either way, however you do it, it's about asking yourself more questions.
And until you come up with an answer or into a point, you in a direction of where you might find an answer.
So it's it's it's relative to you. Yeah. And I feel I do. I mean, fitness and workouts have always been my, like, form of that. Like I don't sit and really meditate, but I can feel like my brain operate in a different way, like after a workout or after the peloton or I used to just do these hot yoga classes. And Reinhado is like, I just wouldn't I'd come out of them like a different person, like I'm just kind of like all anxious or whatever it is.
And I'm just like, I got to go do this. And I come out of it like ready to think more clearly, make decisions like it's truly my therapy. So I feel that. And the music is a huge deal for me. So I love that. Yeah.
I like the idea of just taking the time to think like why am I making these decisions, why do I need these things? Why am I so afraid to be a singer? Why why am I afraid to be single. Why can't I be alone? And that's a really important question to answer. And Ashley and I have friends and friends of friends that we've just seen put themselves in some pretty shitty situations because they are so afraid to be alone. And it's like, why is that the worst thing in the world?
You know? I mean, I would say I think being in these situations is worse than being alone, but I think people are really frightened to be alone. It sucks to be alone. Look, I love hanging out with somebody. I love it. Somebody is obligated by a contract to live with me and they have to hang out with me all the time. So I went to business with somebody. She has to be with me all the time, otherwise I wouldn't allow it.
I don't know. I mean, I'm sure that you talk to people all the time and you get a ton of messages like why are people so afraid to be alone? What's the worst thing in the world about being alone?
Yeah, I think it's funny. There's that, like, meme that's like, I love you so much. I want to get the government involved so you can't. Yeah, that's the vibe, right? The marriage is fucking creepy when you think about it. Your dad gives you away. You wear a white dress, you have to wear a ring to show that you're taken. I hate all of it. OK, we'll talk about it later, I believe actually is obligated to me contractually, though.
We it's in and we have lawyers. Yeah. Yeah. We contractually obligated. Yeah. But what do people say to you. Like why are people I mean I guess we could answer that answer. It's not that deep but maybe it is deep. I don't know if you tell us. Well yeah.
So I think there's a lot there certainly. I think it's definitely what you said and I think certainly you know, it's, it's, it's more fun to have someone else like absolutely like it. Just this. But I think the the contrast is, you know, it's tough to be alone because it's easier to make decisions when you're settling otherwise. Like, it's easy to be with someone who isn't right for you. Like, that's easy. It's easy to like even outside of dating and relationships, it's easy to pretend you like the same things as everyone else.
It's easy to, like, go along with the script.
I think it comes down to this idea that I talk a lot about is this idea of chasing versus attracting. I think when you're in a chasing mindset like that's when you really, really don't want to be alone. So I think, you know, I don't know. I don't know why. I think everyone's wired different. Like, I love spending a long time. So I can't say, you know, universally why some people are wired to, like, they can't be alone when they're alone.
Like, it's terribly depressing for them. But I think, you know, some kind of baseline level. It comes down to this idea in your life of do you have an attractive mindset or a chasing mindset of chasing mindset is one where you're definitely going to really be averse to being alone. That's one where, you know, you're you're very impatient when it comes to wanting to find a partner. You're probably not that honest with yourself or your partner.
You're probably willing to not be yourself to find that partner. You're you're you're more than willing to bend over backwards to like the wind that person. Right. That's a chasing mindset to talk a lot about that. The attracting mindset is, you know, the simple contrast to that. And that's where you're simply putting yourself out there and you're willing to be told yes or told no. And I think when I mean, this is like super simple stuff, right?
This isn't earth shattering, but I feel like a lot of times we don't really understand what mindset we're operating in and with. And when it's the former and not attracting, that's when it's like I you know, I can't be alone right now because I need to win this person and I don't want to be alone. I have nothing to do like. So I think that that's the biggest thing that I noticed with people. It's again, that's their it's their mindset.
And you could boil that down to why like why don't you want to be alone? I think if you ask yourself that question and you kind of discard the answers of, well, it's lonely, I think. Yeah, everyone's lonely at some point, but that doesn't mean you're lonely forever. And again, you kind of do that thing where you move out of this time into, you know, twenty years from now and you look back, it's like, I don't think you regret being single.
Don't think you'll regret a couple. Years of being lonely necessarily, if you make the most of it. So, yeah, I hear that a lot, but I think a lot of it can be addressed with understanding what your mindset is currently.
I want to talk about this Chasey mindset thing for one second, because I think that there are people that, well, for whatever reason or another, bend over backwards to convince somebody that they are a certain way, that they don't care about certain things and certain things don't bother them, that they have certain hobbies. And like, how long can you really keep that up in order to to sustain a relationship? Three months, three months before I read that once, like some some therapist expert said, like, you can pretend for three months or you can, like, hide who you are.
I just I think, like how bad it is for your psyche and how much trouble how long can you personally keep this up and how much of yourself have you given up in the meantime? And how many panic attacks have you sustained and are you eating and are you being healthy? And are you, like, maintaining your other relationships in the meantime? And I are just all hot on attachment theory recently. And guys, for listening, we have an episode coming.
So don't worry, we're not really we're not going to lowball you on that. But I mean, there's people that are just generally their attachment style is anxious. And so they're just going to be more that way. And the answer is not like turn into a secure person. It's just like fill the voids, like it's date more. If you if you're able and find hobbies, figure out what you like when exercise, music, all the things, it's kind of just like you.
If you're if you're lonely, that means there's time to fill with other things. So there's like the silver lining, figure something out to fill those voids, you know, some more time with friends, family, get a dog, whatever. We're so busy. I'd love to sit around, be fucking lonely once in a while. We work on this TV script. I procrastinate on, you know, like it's just like we love it. Figure out how to fill the time.
I guess, like a mindset shift for me would be like I'm quote unquote bored. I'm lonely. Cool. You have time on your hands. Let's figure out something to put in there. Yeah, absolutely. Well, a couple of different things. Just to go back to your first point, like, I think it's yeah, it's very easy to fake who you are to win someone over or at least find alignment and do it for a couple of months.
Right. You could do that. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. David's been there. Yeah. Oh, God, yes. We see how that turns out. Yeah. So one you have you have examples of it not turning out well. But I think the biggest thing is yeah. You're going to drive yourself nuts because my whole thing with dating and relationships, I think it's so funny that I'm just a dude talking about like what is love. But I think there's a big difference between being loved and being understood.
And if you're faking who you are, you're not going to be understood. And I think it's so much more important to be understood first and then love second. You're going to you're going to be terribly miserable because obviously, if you're faking who you are, there's no way someone's going to understand you. You're literally blocking them. So it's going to be blatantly obvious that you're taking the wrong path. So, yeah, I just throw that out there in response to what you're saying, three months.
You go for three months, but you're going to you're you're moving yourself further and further from being understood by a potential partner. And that's never going to work out in your favor. Yeah, I couldn't do it for three minutes. I can. Oh, I never had a thought that I didn't think was amazing. And I had to say it right. That second guy. Well, maybe I can maybe shut the fuck up for two minutes when you get to that third minute.
Right. It can be every two minutes. And that's another thing with the the attachment style. Like you can't fake. If you were this person that really wants love and you crave it and you're a little more needy, I don't say that in a bad way. But you can't pretend to be the other way like you can. But it's only going to waste your time, waste the other person's time. Like, I just I mean, again, we say live your truth like it's applicable in so many different ways.
Yeah. And I mean, from a guy's perspective, I think it's so much more attractive when you do live your truth within reason. Of course. Like, yeah. I mean if you attach easily then I would just say it. I mean, I wouldn't, you know, try to hide something for one. I mean, because that's what you read, you know, isn't attractive. You shouldn't like all these different things that I've listened to in your podcast you've talked about before.
But I mean, I think there's a it's very attractive when you are intentional, when you are vulnerable, when you are honest and if you're trying to hide those things and then you're going to slowly bring them out in month for month five. And that's your game plan. It's like just bring them out in month one and see what see what goes on. If that's your style, then just go for it. You're just delaying the inevitable. Right?
Like this is just like delaying a means to an end. Like if you're just going to allow to be it's going to come out at some point, I feel. And how you behave and I don't know, you don't date a lot Jewish girls. We're all sort of the same. We just let it all out. But I think that's great. I think that I think that's attractive. Get yourself a Jew. We did want to talk to you about mixed signals.
And I think one of the things that you start accepting from people when you are trying to pretend that you are a certain way is like you just take any signal at all and you read it as a good one. And, you know, there's like the there's like IBM says, like, do yourself a favor. I take mixed signals as a no, which is it's pretty much what I believe. I mean, you could at least take it as a maybe and go live your life.
I think that you start accepting a lot of things that, like you, you shouldn't necessary accept if you're operating from a place of like I'm just going to be whoever I need to be to get this person to be with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I think we could all agree objectively, like, why would you want to be with someone you have to convince to be with you, you know, like overtly convince them, like obviously you've got to sell yourself. But like everyone else, we all agree with this. Right, like this. I think any logical person would. But like we don't do it with our actions at all. Like something happens, we just get blinded and we just keep going for it.
So, I mean, I yeah, I think it's I think it's true. Like, I don't think it's oversimplifying life. Like, if someone is making you feel unsure about what they want and they're not doing anything to indicate to you that they have a desire to get to know you better, then then it's a done deal, then you should just move on like it's like it's one thing to be unsure about someone I think, and dating, like you're both going to be unsure about each other.
One person might be more sure than the other. That's fine. But what do their actions say? Are they trying to be calm? Sure. That's a different story than if they're just not doing anything. And if they're not doing anything, then you have your answer. Like, I think everyone overthinks things massively. And I think, you know, it's it's like if you just take a step back and objectively think about what their actions are telling you, it's it's a clear answer.
I even I listen to your episode with Mark Madsen, who I love his stuff, and he had the friend test. Like it would be like if your friend was giving you mixed signals, if they were spending, taking four days to respond to your text, you would be pissed and you would either confront them or you wouldn't be friends with them anymore. So there's there's two things you could do in a relationship that's the same thing. Like you can go and you can be like, hey, what's up?
Like, are we are we doing this or not? No, fine. Or you could just be done. You could just make that decision. So I think it's pretty simple. We overcomplicate it. Yeah. I think being vulnerable is scary and I think it's scary to tell a person that you like them. And I think it's scary to put yourself out there. I'm I'm really talk about this on the podcast. It's not that deep, I guess.
But I met somebody recently. I really liked him. I told him and nice and on the nice side of things, it was reciprocated.
And then his actions after that did not lead me to believe that it was reciprocated and it was embarrassing.
And it sucks. And it's it's embarrassing to tell somebody that you like them and to have them not behave a certain way. But he's embarrassing. You know what? He's embarrassed. You are not embarrassed. He embarrasses me. I'm embarrassed for gas. I don't feel embarrassed. I guess that I did. And I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I told a person that I liked that I liked them. And it doesn't have anything to do with me if he decided.
I mean, I guess it sort of has something to do with me that he decided to act right after that. But, like, I'm fine, you know, like my life has gone on. I've moved on. I'm proud of my life. This person doesn't define me in any way. And I'm fine. You know, I talk mixed signals is a no. And I moved on with my life.
Yeah. So there's a bunch there. A couple of different things I can say. For one, everyone gets rejected like every single one. Like, for example, I shared this on the podcast the other week. And this isn't like an overt rejection, but it was a rejection nonetheless. Like, I haven't gone on a date in eight months. I'm just not I just haven't been interested like it is what it is. But I agreed to go on one, like I agreed to go and we set up a time and I go.
And long story short, I got stood up. She just didn't show nothing. And and it was actually give you some handle. Sheila in Chicago, she wanted her name. She got she got hated on by my listeners. So I want to be gentle with her. Hard on the I but it was it was it was funny. It was like rom com style because it was raining out and I was standing outside all alone. I was like sad music playing.
It was a whole vibe, but no. But anyway. No, but so just point there. Obviously everyone gets rejected or overlooked or is a victim of mixed signals or being unintentional. But to your point, like I did a podcast on this, I think in life your soul intentioned people are big on setting intentions. Right. And I said this intention in this goal and I'm going to manifest this, that and the other, I think the intention you should set in your life is to just be proud of yourself.
And if you tell someone that you like them and they say no thanks, it sucks. I mean, it's not going it's going to sting a little bit. But at least you put yourself out there and said that. I think I think that is a huge vibe and it's something you can always be grateful for. So I think that's that's a win. Absolutely. Yeah.
And he has to look at my third strops on Instagram for the rest of his life and think about it. He's going to be fine. Yeah, exactly. Well, it's just it's growth. I like again, it's a mindset shift. That's what the whole episode is about. It's like taking something and flipping the script on it, which in that case is like that was really like brave of me to do that. Good for me, you know what I mean?
Like, that's it's hard to do to be vulnerable and tell somebody how you feel. And it's like this is a good step in my personal growth. Fuck that person that didn't reciprocated, not fuck them. You know what I mean? Like this, you know, maybe it feels like a rejection, but it's like the mindset flip of. But I'm proud of me for how I handle that. Yeah, I'm proud of me. And I think that it's sort of weird for somebody to tell you that they like you, too, and then they blow you off with that person.
And I dodged a bullet. Fuck him. He's not that bad is. He doesn't sound funny at all, but, yeah, I mean, I think the stupid haircut cases, I get it. So it's not funny loser. Yeah, but I mean, that's it, right? I mean, yeah, you could always be proud of yourself for doing that. I mean, personally, I think like as a guy, it's the most attractive thing in the world.
Like, I don't know, I feel like a lot of the times, like a woman waits for the guy to, like, be intentional, like, oh, where are we going with this? Like, oh, you do like me. You had this. You said it. Now we can move forward. I think it's the greatest thing in the world when a woman says that. So, like, even more kudos in that. In that sense, I feel like a lot of times being more aggressive in that sense is is amazing.
Like I think about this a lot a lot of times just in general, like men are always obviously, you know, they're the aggressors, they're the first movers, they're the first ones with compliments, like when when a woman, like, flips it, it's it's the most amazing thing in the world. Like if the guys they'll get a whole lot of compliments. A lot of times they're just in general. And being a man like to get an overt compliment or an overt like here's my intention.
It's like, whoa, this is kind of amazing and vulnerable and and I love it. Every man we talked to across the board, every secure man. Right. So again, we're in an iReport on attachment theory right now. So not an avoidant person that, like, is going to freak out, which you don't really want anyway. So any secure man wants to be with a woman that makes him feel good about himself. Like we hear this constantly.
Like you want to be with somebody that makes you feel good. Like this doesn't mean like compliments all day everyday, stroke their ego, pander to them, whatever. But like in general, like who doesn't want that the right person would never be turned off. The right person for you would never be turned off by you telling them you like them like. And we say this too on dating apps like people get so weirded out, weirded out about like making a move on a date.
It's like it's a dating app. This is what we're out here for. Like if you're going on dates with somebody, why are you so scared of telling me, like is is it linked in the we're on here to fuck. Let's go. I don't want to be your pen pal. Yeah, no, that's right. That's why I'm here to fuck off. But it's just yeah. I think people like what are we doing here if we don't like each other, you know what I mean.
Like if not like, like let's, let's stop wasting each other's time. So I just think sometimes women and trust me, like having kind of like a hard to get vibe obviously can be attractive too. But it's it can't just be a full bitch all the time. Like there's kind of this false narrative of like you need to kind of like cut a man down a little bit.
And I just like I don't know, it's it's never really what I've heard for men that they like to feel emasculated or like they're, you know, I don't know, not for me at least. I don't know. I'm sensing that would hurt me, that that's playing games to me.
I would look that there's a difference. You don't have to play games. You can still play the game. There is a difference to me. Like, you don't have to show all of your cards. You can play the game a little bit without playing games with. Yeah, and there is a difference. Yeah, I see. Like, if you're thirsty, be thirsty, but don't be like openly available to like act on I think. Yeah.
I mean I think to your point about you said like a guy wants to feel good about himself or something like that, I think, I think that that's a big vibe there too, because that's in line with a Y like the biggest thing that I look for in someone and the biggest thing I think that other people should look for another other people amongst it's cool to have a checklist and all that, but it's how someone makes you feel that is like the ultimate test for compatibility.
I mean, you could have a list of all these different things, height and success and upbringing and sense of humor and all those things. But, you know, I think that is a perfect person and I don't think perfect people necessarily exist. But I think soulmates exist in the sense that there is someone who's going to make you feel a perfect way. And I think if you're vulnerable with yourself and you're willing to figure out what that looks like to you and you're willing to put aside some of the bullshit expectations about some of those other things, like that's going to help you enormously in your life to make better decisions and not like date in that gray area, like not knowing what you're doing.
Yeah, and I think that, like, we talk a lot about like living a life that you're proud of. And I think that if you fill your life with all of these hobbies and activities in a job that you love and things like that, you're you're better equipped to find something that makes you feel good as opposed to somebody that you need to be with in a certain way.
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, just somebody that's hot. I'm so excited to talk about this with, like, the Lux thing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think I think that's it exactly. I mean there's a time for every different kind of relationship I suppose like there's a time in your life for someone who's just hot and you just want to screw around and it's just, you know, that's what you want. But I think once you're serious, I think you need to figure out what is that feeling that you want them to make you feel.
And then you move from that as your as your number one your your number one stunner on your list of things of that you're looking for. I mean, I think I mean, to to your question about looks and I've done episodes on this, I've done posts on this saying, you know, your looks, your looks are the least interesting thing about you. I think that's true. I mean, like I think it's very important. I think the first thing is, are you physically attracted to them?
That's not going anywhere. That's obviously very, very, very important. But I just I am kind of I think it's strange how the waters are murky by our desire to be with ten out of. And how sex is always a huge motivator, like I think it's very important in life, of course, but I think as you get older, you realize that they're significantly more important things like and I'm not saying that they sound like noble or overly mature, but I've realized that, like, there are so many more important things than being with that perfect 10 out of 10 that you've always envisioned.
And then you find the other attributes. It like to me, it has to be the other way around. It has to be like how that person makes you feel, makes you understood, and then to be understood. That's the key to a relationship. Like I've dated very attractive women, I've dated models, and it's been grand fun and it's great. But I didn't feel understood. And that nagged at me and nagged at me until I was like this.
This needs to end. So I've proven that time and time again. Yeah. And I want to I want to like, get into the look stuff. You had this great quote by Coco Chanel. You had the greatest example about an influencer. I want to talk about the stuff, basically just resay your episode. But I listen to it last night, so I'm just like, this is stuff I think about all the time. And and like for me personally, I love the way I look.
I am well aware that people don't find me attractive and that's totally fine. But this is what I look like. And I have learned to love myself in the way I look like. I don't know what's the alternative like I'm not going to get a new face. I'm not going to get a new body, you know, like this is what I was given. And I'm going to work with it the best I can. I'm going to take care of my hair and my skin and, you know, dress for my body and work out and eat.
Right. And do those things. But it's like this is who I am and I am confident in that and I'm going to own it. And I'm not saying that I always felt like this thing. We all have all felt insecure at times. But I've gotten to a point where I'm like, I love myself. So and that's not to say that, like, you can't tweak things here and there. I love the way you look. Thank you.
Like, you look great and you can do things you can you can get Botox if you want. You can do like whatever it is, as long as you're a secure on the inside. Because I think what people where they go wrong is they do all these things because their entire self-worth is wrapped up in their looks. And so they just are constantly trying to achieve happiness and fulfillment via their looks. And so it's kind of a sad thing to see.
And I think we really see it. And I think, you know, our influence, our culture and people like the Kardashians and everybody like doesn't help, but it's kind of it goes backwards for people. They they they think that if they get to this certain way of appearance, then there they they'll feel happier. And it's like so sad because it's really the truly the opposite because I feel so great about myself. So if I just go out and get like a little lip filler, I'm just like now I'm just even better.
But I loved myself before, like, I don't know, you know. So I think we do see people that their whole entire value is wrapped up in, like you said, the least interesting thing about you. Yeah. Yeah. You nailed it. I don't know. I'm trying to think back to what I even said in that episode. I mean, I think that actually either side before you do this, OK, at 10:00 last night, I was just like, I want to get to this stuff he's talking about.
She starts like my my texts are blowing up. And I'm like, how do I say this nicely? I've been up since six thirty and I don't want to talk about work anymore. Actually, actually, listen to this. She has all your baseball cards. I want to be surprised by this. You talked about it. Influence her that like again, we're in an are technically influencers to the snow. This is no shady people, like whatever.
It's just great to have people. Everybody it's like a ten is like they're just mad their success. So you said you just had this great example of an influencer that started a clothing line and no one bought it because because she wasn't a people. That's all they saw was her looks in her body. They didn't know the real her.
And we see that all the time. Like there's people that are just like a pretty picture. And then there are influencers who people really feel like they know. And this isn't to say that you can't be a model if you if you're a model, be a model. But, yeah, I just love that you brought that example. So, yeah, I mean, the influence, the example I use, that's just like concrete proof that if you're building a house on sand, like it's going to fall apart.
That example was, you know, I don't know anything about her swimming. She's a great person. But, you know, she had millions of followers and it was built on, hey, look how hot I am. Like, no platform behind it. You know, she didn't talk like it's one thing to be hot, but then talk about, you know, different different causes. And that's that's amazing. Use your hotness to your advantage. Yeah.
But anyway, she launched a clothing line and she sold like less than thirty pairs of sweatshirts or whatever it was. So it just like proved that for one people. Yes. Are certainly attracted to attractive people, but they're attracted to the other things even more. I mean, proof is in the pudding that no one bought anything from her because they didn't buy into who she was. Like, you're building a whole persona built on how hot you are.
Like that doesn't fly anymore for one like not not to shit on influence our culture. I think there's tons of amazing models who have great causes. That's fantastic. But if you as a human being are attaching your worth and your impact to how hot you are, like it's going to come crumbling down at some point. I think we're all honest with each other, with ourselves. Like, if you can look yourself in the mirror and you're like, I'm not.
Happy right now, I don't feel worthy right now, but I will or I do when I'm this I'm this attractive or I'm this in shape or on this jacket or whatever it is like. I think there has to be a moment of raw vulnerability with yourself. And you're like, it's kind of a problem, isn't it, that I've tied my worth, my availability to my ability to attract someone else to my looks? I think I think if we're real with ourselves, we know when that is right.
You could look yourself in the mirror. I'm like, man, that's kind of a problem. And then you could think to yourself, what, you know, what is the solution like? How do I not be like this? Like, to your point is like if you only feel worthy as a person when you have, you know, you're a more filler or Botox or you get your boobs done or whatever it is like or a guy like, your only feel worthy when you're when you're jacked and you're in the best shape.
Like, I think you could be real with yourself. And like there's there's got there's got to be more to this. So that's the inward version. And of course, the outward version for other people when you're dating is kind of the same to me as well.
It's a feeling, I think, that you do show up with a better energy when you feel good about yourself on your side. You know, I think back to the times when I was the skinniest I ever was and the youngest I ever was in the most toned. And, you know, I was like twenty three. And I looked fucking amazing. My hair was all full and long and I was the most miserable I have ever been in my life.
When I looked the best I ever went. I think I look bad now. I think I'm a normal fucking girl. But I think that I was the most miserable when I looked the best. Basically didn't make me happy is what I'm saying. Like, if I look at the time that I, like, really peaked, that was the worst time in my life. And I think I look fine. I think I'm normal looking girl. I'm not going to sink the time and energy.
Also, I'm not going to pretend you're like I don't fucking get Botox her hair extensions for our live shows and do stuff like, OK, I'm out here being like, I'm so natural. I throw a parents filter on it every once in a while. I'm just going to pretend I'm something I'm not. But I'm a normal, average looking girl and I feel better than I ever did when I was twenty two and the hottest body I've ever had in my life because I was fucking miserable, you know.
Yeah. So and then you had this great quote Chanel quote, love me on the questionnaire. Yeah. Yeah. In the episode that I want to kind of talk about. Yeah. Nothing like a Coco Chanel call. Yeah. It was just a call. It said it's, it's, it's not the appearance, it's the essence. It's not the money. It's the education. It's not the clothes. It's the class. I feel. Yeah.
That belongs up there with a live laugh love quote. But it's really true. Right. I mean I seriously think so. Yeah.
It's well and just just love that. It's like it's an energetic thing too. So like I've heard, I've heard so many guys, like I have so many great guy friends, hot successful guy friends, and they don't want those women that are obsessed with their looks and their.
And then again, if you're just out here like fucking shallow and that's all you care about, live your truth. I just I tend to think our listeners aren't necessarily those types of girls, but the guys I know want a woman that knows who she is and is is comfortable in her own skin. And then when it comes to guys, it's like that's why we talk about big tech energy. It's not that you have a big dick. It's and it's not even like that.
You're that cocky. It's that you're just confident. You like that you carry yourself a certain way. And it applies to to women, to just loving yourself and showing up that way. It's like translates you don't to be a woman that's like aggressive and masculine, but it's just that you love yourself. I think it just is like irradiates. That's why when you just, like, have sex, you're like skin is glowing, like you feel good about yourself, you feel sexy, you feel hot, like these things translate.
They come through your pores like they really, really do, and everybody can pick up on it. And again, if there's just people that are just they just want to fuck other hot people, I mean, the great whatever. But it's just I think that people can pick up on the energy you're putting out and that's what people want. That's what secure, stable people want, like someone that loves themselves.
I love that so much. I actually I just I posted a quote like ten minutes before we started recording someone from on Twitter that posted it. They said, all it says is to be hot. You literally just have to act like you're hot. And I think that's so. Isn't that. I think it's true. I think that's a huge vibe. I mean, it's all about how you carry yourself into my I like stupid analogy earlier. It's like if you're bringing your milkshake to the yard and your milkshake is is your boobs, is it your personality, is it your compassion, is it your empathy, then you're hot in my mind if you're living it like I think I think that's such a huge truth.
That's why I like I love women who just lead with what they have to offer. That hopefully is more than their looks. But it could be, you know, their compassion, it could be their empathy. It could be any any great emotion. And they and they lead with it and they love it and they swag with it and they flex on others with it. I think that's amazing. And your heart in that sense. So, yeah, it's a state of mind.
I feel like I really have like out kicked my coverage with everybody I've ever dated. I just everybody I've to them, me, whatever I hate date, I'm not hot. It's just like when I go to I think it's just how you shop when I see a guy in a bar, I mean not anymore because it ruined my whole life. But people always ask me like, how do you get confidence? How do you approach guys? It's like I have.
Never stop to think for one second when I see somebody that I'm attracted to, whether it's like pheromones or the way that they carry themselves, whatever it is. I've never paused for one second to think maybe that person won't find me attractive and maybe I shouldn't go say hello to that person. It's like they're welcome to not find me attractive, but I've just never paused to things like, am I good enough for this person? Like, we shouldn't be doing that.
Like, you see somebody that you're attracted, you can go after them because there might be things about you that they're attracted to also.
You know, I love that. Good for you. Kudos to you. Well, we're talking about what is your worth? What is your superpower. So can we do this little segment with you where we asked our listeners, their superpowers, we'll see. We think, sure. We started talking about this a while ago because I asked Ashley if she could have any superpower, what would it be? I decided that my superpower, if I could have any, would be that I could send one text message.
I'm actually going to I'm going to I'm going to drill it down even more. I could send one text message per day that I could take back so I could I could send a text, see what the person says, and I could take it back. That would be my super this what we're doing today. I just wanted you guys to know if I could pick one that that's what it would be. OK, I didn't pick I'm just going to go about my the ones I already have.
And so some of mine are. I do. Even if I come home drunk four or five am, I'll do my entire skincare routine like every step. There was a meme that was just like, watch out for those women I can I like masturbate to my own, my own memories, my own fantasies. I don't need, like, watch porn or anything.
I found out this morning I'm a really good sport. I'm really good at maneuvering a luggage cart. Like I can really drive it. Like I can turn quarters, like I can do like a three pointer. Like I had all this stuff on a luggage cart to bring up. I got all these packages and stuff and I'm just like, I'm crushed. You could tell that's all. So I can drive a large cart. Yeah. I mean, those are kind of I mean, I forget if we were recording when we were talking and I'm always right where we recorded the time out doing this.
And I was like, I just have so many super powers like that. I'll just be the whole episode. Well, we want to read you, our listeners. I want to hear yours. We your superpower is. And then I'll tell you guys what mine as. Oh, you're well, OK. And then we're just gonna make you laugh. We're going to read our listeners.
Sweet. Yeah. Mine. What are some random ones? I've discovered recently that I can hold my breath for a long time. And I discovered this in my elevator because I'm weird. I like to see if I could hold it all the way up. And even when people are getting in and out and sometimes I could be like two, three minutes. So I've been doing that. I mean, like the corner like anyway. Oh my God. That I've never passed out doing it.
So do I like to be choked or the teacher? I mean, everybody's a different wonderland of sexuality. I've never met a man that was like, oh, so some girl said that would you guys please say? But she said, I can hold my breath. That's my super powers. It's great for being choked. And like, I don't think you get choke. We're not suppose to be out here light show. You're not just to feel like you're going to die.
I decide. OK, so I have a superpower, too. I don't really know you some. I look you in the face when I say, oh God, but my power is breakfast and blowjobs, OK? Those are my super powers. I feel like I'm a great catch because of it. I'm good at both of those things. I give really good blowjobs and I cook breakfast really well. I'm super powers. Guy McQueen. Yeah, those are my super power.
Some people are like really heartwarming, like beautiful ones. And I'm just like I said, well, do you want to do you want to star so really quickly? We just I want to rattle off ones that we got overwhelmingly. So being able to fall asleep any anywhere, any time, nap queens, so much blowjob skills, so much, no gag reflex, people said jumping to conclusions, getting guys to fall in love with me. Uncanny ability to find unavailable men.
So many of girls saying they were like, good luck, Chuck Foster girlfriends, which I am too. If you were like I'm coming for Ashley's title, I'd love foster girlfriend that we've all seen that meme, which is, you know, you're the person, someone days before they find their forever home and intuition always been right, eating a whole pizza in one sitting. We had a lot of just a great sweet things about like moms and teachers, like getting a full room of kids pay attention remembering five hundred names of my kids and then sweet ones making people feel valued.
Internet stalking. Obviously I'm a pro with that to you or to and then like remembering names and birthdays and stuff like that. So those were kind of the standards. So we got a lot. And now we're going to run through some. I like this first one because I can hear her saying it, being able to get really wet and all guys comment on it, even though I can't really control it. They're always like, wow, you're so wet.
And I'm like, thanks. I try really hard. And there was another one for another girl being able to give my boyfriend a full shower with my fire hydrant pussy. These guys are out here. So many were like, I can just get really wet. It's like, OK, go off. I have not seen these at all. Actually met underrated but had jobs. Honestly, I don't hate this. I think it's nice to kind of wake somebody up with like a handjob and then you can start.
Them, it's a whole thing. Also, a lot of these are just like talents and skills, like I feel like super powers, like innate, like, you know what I mean? Like, you can always practice a hand job and be good.
That's true. I don't know, though. Listen, jobs, I think, are hard because it's hard to do something to another person that they could do better right. To themselves. So being able to do it really well. Have you ever had anybody give you a really good handjob besides you since middle school? I mean, I was I would say hand jobs are underrated. Oh, so. Yeah, yeah. Like a lot of guys would agree with that, like low key.
I think if you surveyed more men, you get that answer. So you're into it. OK, this one is great onin Trump cult members with facts. I love that. That's a that's a super power flex. If you can really shut somebody down without getting like just sticking straight to the facts, without getting to emotional stuff like that, full super power represented. This one goes out to me. I grow my own veggies and make my own broth.
I guess you can call me Superwoman and she's about to pass up soup. I'm a huge fan of soup. I saw your stories go off to. Thank you for watching. You're welcome. OK, roasting men, just putting them on blast. All gas, no brakes. Just all gas. Gas. Is that really what you want to leave? You're at all gas. No brakes. Relentless. All right. Well, this is not this is going to be a tonal shift, beating cancer and coming back to life.
After I died during surgery, such as Michael Flaks, I died and came back to life was incredible. Like, you use that forever. If you're dating some shitty guy, you're like, I didn't die and come back to life for this.
Oh, you know, I mean, like you're like I didn't know, like, your bar is so high. If you died and came back to life, you go, we're out. We're glad that you're OK. She can predict dick size and relative stamina with 97 percent accuracy. B'Day doesn't lie. We got a few of those. Wow. I, I love that for these girls. Like I think people are really good at that. I have I think I'm pretty decent, I'm a good, decent predictor.
But like, you know, some girls can just be like I know what I know what his dick is. Just looking at him. I've been seeing a lot of Dixon sweatpants lately. I saw one stick out like it's there's a couple people who have been on this podcast. I've worn sweatpants recently and I've seen their dicks source my pants almost exclusively. Yes. I think well, not in my jeans, but I will take them off your glasses.
Jeans. That's such a flex. Yeah, I like to hang out in my living room, in my jeans. It's weird. I wear jeans. Really. Yeah. Yeah. It's a city.
I like that he does like napping. We just said that we saw somebody on a hike in jeans and we were like, that's a serial killer. I like my jeans. What jeans are people wearing that aren't comfortable like these are great.
All jeans, all females, every place. Jean, this is no, no, no shade. But like I do think it's insane. Like, to hang out in jeans is insane.
I know it's weird. I know it's weird. But I know I dated a guy that, like, he naps in jeans. This is never not wearing jeans. I, I dated this girl for a while and she made fun of me because I call it she called them. I sleep in jeans and that like I would like be good. I sound like I'm Amish, like I don't sleep in my clothes obviously. But like I would just I would I would wear my jeans until the very last minute when I didn't have to wear them.
I mean, I just like my jeans to work. All people wear clothing until the very last minute, until they get naked. Well, out here, it's not doing that. No case. No one lives ripped jeans and vans more than you. Yeah, that's a vibe. Yeah. I'm at. Wow. Squirting buckets, squirting like a fire hose.
Those are two different ones, but a lot of squirting. Honestly, I'm jealous.
I don't want to do it all the time, but I want to do it once our listeners know that I Wikipedia I wiki how to to squirt. And I tried, I, I have tried pretty hard. There's guys are like oh I made so many girls score for the first time. I'm not one of them. I just can't do it. I'm not scoring buckets and honestly my sheets thank me. OK, dry my house. Yeah. No clean up after I masturbate I can just like flood damage, like it and go to sleep.
The fact that there was so much about getting wet and squirting on this is just like it has been the year of the wop. It truly has the best thing to happen in twenty twenty was Joe Biden, who won the presidency and was coming out don't at me. I saw me the other day that said like we're not ready for office. The club, if you see that I we are not like it's almost like it would be, we might be like I would have like an out of body experience.
I feel like it should people be like, who is she, what is happening. Right. Great. I don't even like really she doesn't dance that much. But I feel like if we were in a club scenario and whop came on, you just lose your club with me that often. I didn't. I did that. I did OK in the last one is glowing up after a breakup. I just keep getting better. Thank you. Next golf girl, that flex.
I mean, there's no better time to blow up. I mean, women do a great job. I just do the same. Every guy I've ever dated has slowed down after we broke up every single one hundred percent of. Lisa, Lisa, do you feel about that? I don't know. I mean, I think for me, I maybe I'm the exception, but I think yeah, I mean, it's definitely more noticeable in women for sure.
I've seen women shake relationships. What do you do? You do anything besides work out and talk about feelings?
That's all you know. Well, I don't I don't think it's true, though. It's just great to talk about it. I think that's what I found. It invited him. Although he likes to be roasted, though. That's it. Well, this has been so wonderful. Thank you for joining us. Thank you. You guys. Yeah. We loved having you. We know that everybody is going to want to find you. Find your books, find your podcast, find your Instagram.
So tell everybody all the places they could find you.
Sure. Yeah. Appreciate it. Yeah. The podcast is New Mindset. Who does? It's everywhere. Obviously, the book singles your superpower. You can get that a new mindset. Who does dotcom? And then I'm Keystart Kanye on Instagram and I love chatting with people. So if you want to join me, go for it. I don't know if I should say that, but it's always an open it's an open invite until it isn't anymore. So I just have it.
All right. Will you have a great Instagram? People are definitely gonna slide an entire year in terms of them, so I think they're going to like it. Thank you. It is just your feelings and you work it out. You nailed it. I think that's hilarious. That's accurate. That your record be your bio. All I do is work out and talk about. I was actually thinking about updating my bio earlier. I might do that.
That's the name of this next batch of Netflix special. It's called Workout Selfies and Journaling. Why are we doing this case? Thank you so much for joining us. OK, guys, and you know where to find us girls Godi podcast Dotcom hit the website for Merche and tickets to our live show on December 13th. Virtual live show Girls got your podcast on Instagram. Ash has Raina Greenberg on Instagram and girls in her school got it on Twitter and YouTube.
Dot com slash girl's got to eat and we'll see you next week.
Have a great week.