I am falling for her so deeply, how could these other men that are in her orbit, not like her like that? They don't. I don't. I got to tell you, I can't stress enough. You're. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls. Gary, welcome back. It's gloomy about how we like it. You're serene every single time. We add something important to do. Every day came and hot for our first live show, like looking like a drown rat.

You're like, Oh, this is my dad. Hey, do you want to maybe have my dad, who you've never met, has heard all about you? Tell me the worst day of my life. You're like every child at all.

Every show. It was a torrential downpour or a blizzard. Yeah, we're back. I feel like it's both rainy, though, like when it's been so like I love a good rainy day. It rained yesterday, but it hasn't been right. It's been so sunny and great. I feel like the universe right. We're going to get people break to pandemic. Everything's terrible. We'll give you some sun anyways. Let's take some of our partners things to quit for supporting girls.

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I felt like something coming up, like I feel like a version of it all. I'm trying to get through it. I don't have to Barbu. I hate Barbes. Oh my God. You do. Oh we talked about. Yeah. Do I burn. You burped before I wanted to die. I if someone burps in a car I burn cars.

You burps in a car. I hate when people burp I'd rather they fart. There's something about it that's so gross. Disgusting. I do this. Maybe if you would let me eat my salad cheesecake factory in the car and you want to drive in. No, I just you don't burp a lot. But there is a couple of times that I was like, oh I.

I like imagine a scenario in which you're with a dude, you know, you're drinking, eating. Then he just lets out like a huge burp, like I'm out of there. I don't want any of that though. I don't want to be fart. You fucking go to the bathroom with the door open. OK, so I'll stop burping once a year. If every day you shut the door and up your yearly burp has been bothering me.

That's why you're you're if you were sick habits. OK, stop taking a Dougie with the door open when I'm here. I've never done that. The second I feel like I've just started to poop, I shut the door. You do. That's why sometimes you do shut the door and I'm not sure why. And then I turn the water on and that's what I'm doing in there. And then you hear the Toshie stream. So she is forceful.

I'm not the I don't like any bodily. And we're going to talk about like, how do you know, like you're in the friendzone or somebody. And so many people were like farts in front of you. Like, I don't want that with my significant other I don't want burping farting. I don't want doors open for anything. If I hear you fart. Oh my God. If I hear you for all your peeing out of there and listen like we know this stuff happens, it's natural.

Like I fired in front of guys I'm dating by accident. But the couples that think that stuff is cute, I can't I mean, it's just not for me, you know, no judgment. If that's your relationship. Great.

Yeah. What I, I just I suck. I spit in my mouth when we were fucking obvious. There's no boundaries. My boundaries is you can't fart while you're peeing and the door is open. Oh my God.

That combo. Awesome.

Have you ever been dating or even or even just fucking somebody. And they get up and they do that morning pee and it's like an hour long like you're like how are you still going.

Oh my God. Like I was like an exam.

I swear I could like make a pot of coffee and he would still be gone.

But you'd heard you heard the story. I mean. Ah, he's taking. Yeah. I feel like if you are in a one bedroom apartment with somebody and you can hear him taking a piss, I'm saying did he just shut the door. He's in the bathroom a long time or the stream was, the stream was like how did you knock it up in the middle of the night. Like this is gallons of piss coming out. Sometimes you pee for so long and I'm like, how are you still alive?

OK, must be other bad habits. I've been meaning to I've been waiting for you to say something to me for like the last really two months, but a couple of years, you know, you were like waiting for me to have a conversation with you about like how late we always start recording because like, you know, we always plan on one and then, you know, you've kept me here until five and you're like, I'm waiting. I'm waiting for you to tell me.

I need to dress better to record why. I feel like especially since I started working out, I look so sloppy, I. Every day I like workout, take a shower, come over to be with you, and I was like zipping up this hoodie and I was like, Oh, this is not cute. Why would I tell you to look better? Because the worse you look that I'm the pretty one.

Is this your strategy all along, what you look like? Does it reflect on my image? Yes, it does. Yes, it does.

You watch this and they're like the other one used to be here. She's not anymore. Great. Say it.

We're just the same. We're both wearing leggings and black sweatshirt. We like you athleisure it up cuter than I do. But that's my style.

Everything I do, other stuff cuter than me, what overalls I used to arouses my vibe anymore. I do feel like my athleisure game has stepped up, but I don't wear it over here because I'm just like, we're sitting on the couch. It's cute. This is like homey. You know, I'm not going to get dressed up to come over here.

I just used to never tell you how to dress because I wouldn't because that means I got to step my game up. I have no room to talk, is what I'm saying. But anyway, so you have a new purchase in your apartment. Oh, my gosh. OK, so first of all, last week's episode, if you didn't listen, stop what you're doing right now and go back and listen is truly one of the funniest episodes of this episode.

People people fuck this episode. This is just us. So we had it was one of my truly most favorite, most hilarious episodes. We were getting tagged in the funniest stuff. People were like fucking up during getting their eyelashes done. They were falling off the treadmill. People couldn't they couldn't get out of their car because they were crying, laughing, and people like were driving and almost throwing up. They were laughing so hard, like it was really so funny.

These are tags. I'm saying these people were saying, yeah, I should not just imagining that you guys are driving in your car. I was like I just I felt it. I felt the energy. And we talked about Trader Joe's cinnamon broom. Yes. Last week at the point of the cinnamon broom, I did not own one.

Do you think anybody knows the cinnamon berm is, by the way, OK, if you don't know also if you want to go back there, there's even a clip on our Instagram about the whole decor, cinnamon broom situation situation.

It's just a broom that smells like cinnamon. You get him at Trader Joe's and I'm sure fucking places like HomeGoods and shit and they just smell the your home up. I do remember having one so many years ago in my Atlanta apartment. I always have loved the smell of cinnamon. But the cinnamon, the Atlanta apartment, it was really it was bigger. So we had this whole conversation, all this in one room. At that point, I didn't own one in this lifetime.

I had just seen it in the Trader Joe's. Then the next day I went to Trader Joe's and I took a picture of it and I sent it to Osama. It flirty, you know, I was like, what is the most embarrassing thing you've ever bought to find a reason to text a guy? I didn't buy it. I just I took a picture. But then I was like, I'm going to buy it 99 cents maybe, hopefully over to visit the for the medium size.

So there's like a big that's like a broom, big Vibram, medium size 99 cents and Trader Joe's at the checkout aisle. And then there's like mini tiny brooms because I don't know this, but people are like tagging us and they're sending brooms. I saw like a baby. So I bought this medium size.

I got it in the apartment. I could not handle the potency of the smell. It wasn't even out of the bag. It wasn't even out of the bag. And it was overwhelming. And then I was like, OK, maybe I got to air it out. So I took it out of the bag. It was in the corner. I couldn't breathe. It was so potent. I cannot live. I put it outside. I'm like, maybe it'll air that outside.

I put it outside of the patio. Tell me why I was in my bedroom. The window was open. I could still smell that shit through the window.

I can taste it right now. What is going on? It is the potent suffocating. Honestly, I just think it's like one of those things in theory, like the idea, like I made a horrible mistake. I love the smell, the hotel lobby at the one hotel. And I was like, I got to get the smell. I got I get this mouth. And I bought a diffuser of that smell my apartment. I want to die.

I hate the way it smells. It's too much. Too much. I like it for one second. I like to check into a hotel for thirty seconds. I don't want this in my hotel. I do love can't. I mean I have a candle burning right now that's got like a cinnamon smell but like something about that broom. I don't know what. Well you know, there's weird shit going on at Trader Joe's. Whatever they're doing, we cut this part last week, but they got some the place has weird sexual energy.

A friend of mine said he thinks there is antifa. It's just they got weird shit going on. How they get those low prices, I don't understand. They have something going on in there. So whatever they're lacing the cinnamon brew with, like it is unbearable. It's outside in the rain right now. I'm done with it. I feel like it cannot be in the house. It's to put a giant will. You know, the length of that patio is I don't know.

It's twenty feet long. It's long. It's a huge patio. Yeah. You look me to like to validate that. Yes, it's enormous. It was at one end I was sitting on the couch at the other end could still in my nostrils again. I cannot stress this enough. It was wafting through the window and hitting me in my bed. It's also not like a rose smell. It's Synovate. It's the most potent smell and I can taste it through your windows and smelling it all that.

So, I mean, maybe if you have a bigger home or maybe maybe I just got an extra strong one. But like I have to announce here today that, like, the cinnamon broom, I don't I cannot live with it. We cannot coexist.

You give your neighbor, you throw it out. It's 99 cents. And also it's been outside in the rain for two days. Actually, maybe now it's like maybe that's the secret. You should go sniff. I'll take. All right, OK. We went and smelled it. First of all, I touched it and I feel like I'm going to be smelling it on my hand for the rest of my life. All right. Here's a deal.

News, suggestion, alert. Get get us to the room and then put it outside in the rain showers take to the creek and then you can bring it in. So anyway, that's why I sit in my room update.

If you guys are coexisting with yours, like more power to you, maybe I just got like an extra strong one.

Again, we don't know what's going on down there in Trader Joe's, but yeah, it just wasn't I could not stop laughing that, like, I brought it in this house and had to put it outside. Oh, it's it's a lot. Yeah. But honestly, I think it was a nice window to just open the door to talk to you some more.

Yeah. I don't know. He said he got a bunch of jams from our listener. Yeah. Fuck you guys. Yeah. You couldn't feel the energy between us.

He you know, he said he didn't wanna fuck me on the episode so he's never going to work.

I was he said it was it because he was really open about that. I could say that I could not stop staring at his fingers, the entire recording there so long and thin. I feel like that guy fingers good. They don't they're a little they're a little thin, though. Thirty years ago when, like Kate and I were we were dating all these guys. We were like always going to dates and like dating these terrible guys. We had nicknames for them all.

And she dated a guy that we called ladyfingers and his hands were slender.

I love a big man hand. I guess you're right, though. He's always been a big Corey. Well, he's not that big, though, like my other best friend besides. Right. Okay, Corey, there's three. He looks like he's wearing Hulk hands like he looks like he put on fake hands. He's he's five eleven. I guess. I don't even know why I'm having these, like, thoughts about fingers because, like, I'm not out here wanting to get finger and I'm like, well, no one's sticking their giant long fingers at me.

Yeah, I don't want to. That's it's just such a good call. Like, why do we care it to me? It hands. It's hands. Yes. Oussama is a great looking guy. He has great hands. He's not they're not a deal breaker. Little baby hands deal breaker. Do you know my story about baby hands while we're here? I think I told this. You know what I told On-hand I told on. Baran's blockhouse, I've never told you here today.

Here we go. So this was maybe what I was like twenty seven, twenty eight. So like last year I was in this dry spell like it had been a while.

So I was like, I'm just going to go out and get laid tonight. Easy to do. I went to a place in Atlanta called SMIs Old Bar where like hanging out, getting drunk, whatever. And I just was like, I'm just going to pick a person. I wish I could do this today. I guess I could, but it's covid. I was like, I'm just going to pick a person that met this guy. He walked up to me.

He was maybe my height, maybe a little bit shorter. I think he had like a thing for tall women. He hit on me. He walked out of shiz. Yes. Kind of giant. He walked up to me. And I'm like, I guess this is my option, you know, I guess this is it for the night. I'm just going to go with this guy. Hit a cute face. Definitely wasn't like as big as I would prefer, but I was, like, very drunk and I was like, fine, this'll work.

We went to like another bar, like just personality, whatever. Didn't really get a good look at, like, his hands, his limbs, whatever. But I was like, this is fine. So he he came home with me. We did fuck. It was actually pretty good from what I remember. Like, I kind of think I like had a decent orgasm for being like pretty drunk and like a new guy, like I was being kind of crazy.

We were like doing all the different positions like he was he fucked. Good. I can't believe you got off. Yeah. Because I like, you know, we sobered up a smidge and then came home and like Fox and I was like, I can't I can't believe I got off either. The next morning, where am I bad? And Dewey jumped up on the bed back when he could get up there. He was like a young spry and he jumped up on the bed and this guy went to like pet him and his little hands on Dewey's head.

It was like his little baby had, like, touching the top of his head. And I was like, you got to go. You kicked him out, baby.

Okay, I got I have something to do with a smaller than my hands.

They were like, I mean, you're a teeny tiny person, but like, they were such small man hands and like to see them on DeWees, like big head, like just the way he was petting him. I look almost like I just like I was gonna throw up.

I mean, listen, I just like a big man, like I feel you. I feel like I want like big shoulders, big back, big hands, like more than I want a big dick and I don't even need a huge dude. I've said this before, like the best sex I've had in my life have been with, like, guys that I've dated that were like really just five eleven, like maybe maybe barely six feet, like not huge dudes, but they had decent hands.

I is one of my one requirements. My mom feels the same way. She said she was always attracted to my dad's like hands, wrists, forearms. I'm attracted to your dad. Oh my God. Stop us for our eye. I cannot baby hands. Yeah, it's not for me. And I was I can't believe who that guy's hands were all over me the night before.

Those teeny tiny you're talk to Tina and I never tried to date me. You got you got the sex is good. He was you were like the hands is where I draw the line.

He was just aside from the hands, we woke up and I was not attracted to him anymore in the daylight sober. You know what I'm saying? It filled the need that night. But he he wanted to date me because I was like, OK, time to go. This was like right now he got home.

I didn't leave. I just it's like I have something to do. My he was like, oh, do you need to, like, walk the dog?

I'm like, I'll do that on my own juice out. I just feel like one night stands are. So you've got to get there early. But also I don't sleep over like when I have a one night stand. I like the guy in my building. I didn't want him to sleep over. I was like, you live here, go there.

But that's what was so crazy because I mean, I just was such a different person in my twenties, you know, when I was like drinking so much and like fucking around and dating and like to bring strangers home with you is so crazy because they're in your home.

Like, if you if you spend the night with somebody, you can get up and get the fuck out. But like a stranger in your home, I don't want them in my home. I'll go to their home and I will excuse myself out of their home immediately. I'm trying to sleep. They're bringing someone home. But like your dog, you don't think about the morning is going to look like. And then you wake up with this tiny hand, dude, I want to do it.

I don't wanna do it. I'm trying to think about the last time I had like a one night stand. I, like, slept with somebody. I don't want it. I don't want somebody in my home, in my space. I'd rather go there. I'd rather be able to leave. Yeah. See those hands and I'm out the door. Right? Yeah.

You know, I can't escape is my neighbor that I thought and I ran into him. I ran into him in the elevator the other day. It was not comfortable. It was not good. Yeah. I looked probably the ugliest I've ever looked. But on a scale of he looked like one to him, he looked worse.

I was like, I can't believe you've been inside of me. This is so crazy. He probably looked at me that I was like, well, quarantine is not that good to her. I bet you probably like her and I how your body hasn't changed brush right here. Oh, God.

If you have a brush your teeth. It was not bad. It was not good. It was.

I smelled your breath and we could add to the whole time I smell bad, I smell bad. OK, I burp once a year and I smell maybe once a year. Also I don't smell bad. I brush my teeth every day. I water pick that shit. I spent a lot of my year, my teeth look like. That's OK, Google me, bitch. Everything everything on Google is Raina Greenberg's team.

I'm sorry. I just I'm sorry. You're right. I take it badly, but me, it's just me. I'm not the only person whose breath is bad in the morning who has to brush their teeth. Everyone everyone out here is out here with morning breath. That is fair. There's been some times what I've like got up and not brushed my teeth. I had to take do we a to walk in a mask in a man. I was out of breath in your friend your mouth one day because I usually wake up, brush my teeth like I always do, but sometimes you just don't like I will do it when I get back from walking dhuey.

But I remember one time I didn't. I thought I was taking FUI for a quick walk around the block. I saw Derek, we walked around the whole neighborhood. I'm like smelling my own breath the whole time. I was like, I got to go, Derek. I got to get out of here. I can't stop. I got some small amount breath. Yeah. So I saw him. First of all, whatever. I woke up, I worked out and not brush my teeth yet.

Oh, God, I walked out. You guys were like, fill in your beautiful apartment with your own hot breath, work it out. You know, I can't imagine so much heavy breathing. No, you control your breath. It doesn't matter how hard you work out, you've got to control that shit. I was on my way into the building. He was on his way out of the building. And then I become so awkward because I don't know what to say around him.

And so he was like, I'm getting coffee and I offer to go with him and I walk to the coffee spot. And then he didn't have money. So I paid for our coffees. And then I just told him my whole life story. I think he talked once this went on for thirty minutes. I don't think you talked for one second. And girl, this level of desperation was this April twenty twenty two.

What do you do if I get awkward around people don't talk and try overcompensate and I look so invite them to coffee. How did you get awkward. You invite them out and pay for Liz Warren came on the show. If you guys are looking for a free meal, just fine. Right on the street. Maybe she's feeling awkward that day. She'll take you out. Why did you bring him to coffee? I thought the coffee would mask my breath.

I don't know. I just I brought up Elizabeth Warren because I was like, I know I look terrible, but like, look who we have on the podcast. It was a whole mess. It was a mess.

It's funny because, like you, he didn't look good, like you weren't even attracted to him. So this whole thing of you like latching into him and being like, let's have a coffee date, I'll pay it had nothing. He looked worse than he did normally. Right. He looked like a wildebeest. I was like, this is not a really a wildebeest.

I'm like a unicorn. Don't have I still do not know. The last thing I will say about this is when I first started talking my neighbor a year and a half ago, I remember feeling like so nervous I had to like, look so pretty all the time in the building. So every time I'd get into the laundry room or in the lobby, like any time I'm in the elevator, I had to have a ball gown on. I did full makeup to do laundry.

Yeah, by full makeup for me is eyeliner. Mascara. But I looked so pretty and now I'm just like out here just looking like dogshit. Who cares so far. Well, the worst thing that could happen is that guy tries to fuck you again because then you just got to lock the doors and pretend you're not home because that's never happened. The worst thing that can happen is that I agree to it. No, no, no. The worst thing that could happen is you agree to it.

And then he sits his naked ass on your white couch and doesn't leave you guys. It was. But then you ask him to borrow and then you dance slow dance together in your apartment.

He stole my romper on New Year's Eve. We're not sure where it went. Yeah, he came down and fucked me and the next day the robber was gone. I mean, that's the only explanation. It's not there's nowhere to hide in a New York City apartment. He stole my romper, probably where it is better than the one I saw him wearing the other day. OK, I saw one last thing. Quick update. The new bachelorette season started.

We would learn to game last night. Clare Crawley, huge season. Yeah. Your boyfriend is on the season. Guys, listen, we came back in to record this for you. We did this intro yesterday. This is Wednesday. We did it yesterday. We watched we watch the premiere. We were like, fuck it, we got to come back in the studio because we cannot not talk about this. We were all a Bendel's Instagram. You OK?

So let's back up. We want to you know, Dalmar so Dilemma's came on our show two years ago. Do you the exact date I mean, June or July. Twenty eighteen called still not a player early on summer. Twenty eighteen. And we were introduced to him by a mutual colleague friend and that's like him on the show. We wanted to do an episode about interracial dating. Yeah. Pretty early on. And you guys, you hit it off you that listen since day one and I've always decided who's going to fuck the gas side of this crap, but I never I never did anyway.

So I'm not Eskimo Sisters with Clare Crawley. And we talked more about Dale had a very funny segment about him on the August 10th episode. So like just a couple of months ago, I mean, this whole situation with the backpack, most you guys probably heard it. But if you didn't go back and listen, it's very funny. So if you see us commenting on Dale and Instagram with a backpack emoji, you'll know why.

But yeah, like if you keep up with pop culture, celebrity news, you know that like, clear. And if you watch the premiere last night, she's leaving the season. Hurndall fell in love, allegedly. It's crazy. It's so crazy to know the person that's like the person, it's so crazy person, there's been like what, like forty seven seasons of The Bachelor? Yeah, how many? This is the first time he's just left the show and fell in love.

91, OK. I didn't I didn't know how serious it was going to be the moment she met him.

Like she was like I think I just met my husband. Everything went black around me. I was like, I had chills. I hate myself. I watch the show so many times. It's so cheesy. But I just, like, still get invested. And, like, that was a real moment, I think. I don't know. Well, Jared Freed begs to differ, but we'll get to that like she went right back in and like we recorded it or no, he thinks they talked him out before.

Perhaps it did sort of seem like that. I mean, but I will say it in those terms. First of all, if Dale Moss is getting out of a limo, I will I will promise you, I just met my husband, too. I need to tell you what I need to tell you that he looks beautiful on the show.

Suffering is going to slip. It sounds like you're not over it. He looks beautiful on the show. It still doesn't do him justice. Apple will always look better in person than on TV. Like like if you ever meet somebody that was on television, you will be like, oh my gosh, you're so much like smaller than I thought. I like women are always like so teeny tiny and men are just so much hotter. Like it's TV doesn't do you any favors.

Like if you were to see him in person. Not to brag, but, you know, we have plenty of times he's just like godlike. I mean, also go to any express in the United States.

He's the main male model.

We forgot what we were in Columbus, this Columbus strip mall town center mall in Houston, downtown. There was a huge poster of Dale. We went to we drove by we to go back and take a photo. Anyway, last night was incredible. The kiss was hot. Obviously, you got the first impression, Rose. I am so fucking juiced up for this season. It can't wait. We're going to really watch a couple fall in love that like basically fell in love at first sight.

If they're showing us what really happened. Truly awesome. Her dress. Don't get me started, girl. That dress is doing anybody any. I can't with the prom dresses. I mean, somebody thought let's shatter a mirror and then show all the ramblings on the dress. Also put seven more layers of tulle under it. More like water. Like that dress wasn't doing anybody any favors. And she is gorgeous. She looks better than I've ever looked at my life.

Your body is incredible. She looks amazing. That dress that smashed up mirror dress. Not for me on Twitter. We're comparing it to like this purse you had in like the early twenties with like a bunch of little things hanging, dangling off of it. They're like, why is Claire's dress my purse from two thousand five? Yeah.

So we will we're not going to do weekly updates, weekly updates, but we at least wanted to come in here and remind you guys that we know Dale and he is going to be all over the news and go back and listen to still not a player if you haven't yet. And just I can't recommend the season enough. Go to his Instagram, see Ashley commenting publicly. I'm jealous, but I'm happy for you. I'm jealous. I'm supportive. A backpack emoji, rose emoji.

Thank you all. Snackers who got in there? And everybody. Everybody. It was so funny. Within minutes yours doubled the likes that I had on there in minutes because he's my ex and it's ok.

Also what I can't recommend enough Jared Freed's updates. Did you. Last night was the funniest thing I've ever. Last night made me thankful for covid because of the way. So that sense is not going to I'm not going well and you guys know I'm fucking joking the way he covered last night when he said it's like if somebody told me I was going to be the bachelor in two weeks, I would spit the cookie out of my mouth, like, can you imagine you've been in quarantine, you've been eating the house down.

And they're like, by the way, in two weeks we start filming The Bachelorette. Are you kidding me? I couldn't stop laughing, thinking about getting that call. I was dying. He was like, I want Chris Harrison to give me my test results for everything. I was crying. And when he was talking about Claire's butt and you hear Jared's girlfriend in the back like Jared, and he was like, Peanut Gallery is like, I love his girlfriend in the background, too.

Sorry. I know. By the way, if I in the middle of a international pandemic, decide to risk it all and go be on the bachelor season and then this bitch quits like a weekend, I have done so much to and risked everything to go be on the show. And the main person quit the show and you get to I don't know, then you go and we'll see. Are they going to keep the same guys, Weedle now?

I think they will. I don't like any of these guys. I don't like these guys either. I know. Wonder Deal stood out. I mean, first of all, Del could stand out as he's anywhere. I truly said this. I think I said this couple weeks ago or a month ago and we talked about this like I just he is a genuinely good guy. And I don't think you get a lot of them. I think you've got a lot of narcissists.

You got a lot of people that want to be on TV that go on that show. And I think someone that's true and genuine irradiates their energy radiates. And I think she picked up on that. I think a million you're going to show me, again, a billion Instagram followers to fuck a bunch of little slots. Yeah, it's also if knock off, but like, I'm an express model, I don't even need. Literally doesn't need it.

I've been a Girl Scout and I've gotten all the pussy I need. OK, I know actually hasseltine I think that that is really, really spot on. And I just think he's the hottest man alive. And I don't like any other contestant since I got out of the limo pregnant. He's like she knows that I'm funny. That wasn't funny. Oh, you're not funny. You're not funny. Straight jacket guy. You're not funny. Harvard guy in the Rolls-Royce, the scarf.

None quite fucking funny. Any guy that lets a producer talk them into that dumb shtick is not for me by you're out of here. I can't believe she gave Strait-Jacket a roast. I mean, you wore the straight jacket the all night episode, you guys. He was at the rose ceremony in a straight jacket. Listen, go communities love having dinner. No, we don't know. We don't. I look for it every week. It is my favorite activity during bachelor season.

You get high and watch your freedom bed. And you know what we're talking about, Jared.

We like said we were going to go to whatever city Jared goes to and people are not going to forget working on people down there, like Jared's in Raleigh, Jared's in Raleigh, Jared in Kansas City, Francis is in Kansas City. I'm like, OK, you're in Rockford. I'm Jerry in Albany. I just played a parking lot in Wisconsin. And I don't understand why you broke have the drive in theater in Queens. Where are you? Because that we're working on it now.

We're always. Oh, all right.

We didn't introduce the topic today, but we'll talk a little earlier. A few. We'll do. We'll do. Let's thank some partners and then we'll get into it, OK? Right. OK. All right.

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Calling this not sure you put me on the spot. The episode Sunday night, Sunday night. I know I can only be only 10 p.m. Sunday nights. Don't ask for that.

But what I will do is talk about two other episodes. You guys can reference that kind of align with these things, because we want to always make sure if you are listening to us talk about a topic and you're like, wait, but you didn't cover this part of that topic, like, we probably might have done it already. So we're going to be talking a little bit about friends of the opposite sex today, you know, just for generality sake, like women and their male friends.

And we did an episode called Should You Fuck Your Friends? And that was in August 2013. So like is like, yeah, we we we talked and that touched on some stuff about fucking your friends. We talked about some of our guy friends that we've had a little bit history with, stuff like that. So that's out there. And then also we're talking about jealousy today. And we did another episode that you guys would probably find interesting if you're work, if you're curious about jealousy with, like social media and stuff like that.

And that was is he micro cheating? And that was Episode Sixty nine.

Girl, thank you for doing that research. Yeah.

So those are kind of ones that, like we asked you guys what you want to hear about jealousy, basically. So that was so interesting to me. We like pitched this out because, like, I, I mean, obviously we want to do episodes that you guys care about. We said, like, what do you guys wanna hear about jealousy? And overwhelmingly it was about friends of the opposite sex. So my partner has friends, the opposite sex.

I don't know how to deal with it, whether it's a coworker or a longtime friend. And we'll get into that stuff. Or I have friends of the opposite sex and my partner is acting crazy, jealous. And, you know, what are the boundaries? What am I allowed to ask for? When do I call it quits? Am I being overly jealous? Am I being, quote unquote crazy or being gasline? I just thought, like, it was so interesting, the overwhelming amount of responses wasn't like, I'm so jealous and I feel like it was like I want to work on this.

My partner has like we'll just put it like straight male female to my male partner has female friends and it's hard for me. Yeah. So we were like, okay, let's just hone in on that, because there's also so many different parts of like jealousy that's such a broad topic. So again, like I saw a lot of people wanting to know about social media stuff and we did an episode called Do It for the Gram, Why a while back.

And that was a lot more about social media when you post somebody, things like that. So if that's kind of what you're concerned with, social media behavior to episodes for you. Yeah, and obviously there's elements of jealousy. We were like my partner, my last partner cheated on me and I can't, like, let this go and I'm bringing it. Well, we'll talk about that on a future episode. But I mean, obviously, those are real fears and things that I would say, you know, in therapy for.

Yeah, for sure things. But I love this topic. I'm excited. I think you and I both have a lot of male friends in varying realms that we've dealt with this stuff with as well. Yeah. Whether we like them at one point, some of them at one point and like becoming friends with their significant others. Well, right out of the gate. Let's just answer this question. Can men and women be just friends? Well, yes.

Grella what does this Mike Pence, the Mike Pence role can't have a solo dinner with a woman. It's just it's so insulting. And like a short sighted outlook, the men and women are going to be platonic friends, like we're primal animals. We just can't be around each other like a man just can't be around a woman without fucking her. It's so lame. Anyone who says it is red flag, anybody out there saying men and women can't just be friends?

You can't. It's a red flag to me. I Googled Ken Medwin and I'm trying to do like research for this episode. And I I'm because I'm trying to go with it. I live it. I just I Google. And there's so many different opinions about this. It's like, yeah, one size fits one. It's like, is your man some crazy cheater. Yeah. Maybe he can't have friends. Your female is the person you're talking about.

His ex. Yeah. Maybe you don't want him hanging out with her. Can I sit down and hang out the do not take my pussy out.

Yes. Episodes over time I drop by. I mean I think that there's all kinds of boundaries. I think we want to be with a partner that respects us and demands that their friends respect you. And if that's not happening, then address that shit in your relationship. But do and I have friends that are guys. We have, in fact, a couple. Oh, my God, no. I mean, we have so many like so many guy friends, like I've had best guy friends in high school also like there are realms of possibility where you have hooked up with the person and you go back to being friends and we'll talk about that.

But like, yeah, just because I fucked somebody when I was 19 in college doesn't mean in my mid thirties. I still can't not be on your man's dick. Yeah, there's plenty of people I grew up like were like yelling at everybody. People were like, you know, why not? Why are you yelling? I don't like all kinds of everybody. I grew up with all kinds of guy friends that like I hooked up with in high school and college.

And like I'm friends with their wives and I sit at weddings with them and birthday parties. And I'm like, none of them should be worried. I can't, like, not lock it up around. They're like middle aged husband. Dad, I know. It's so true. Yeah. And I mean, I always say I mean, let's just get into it. You know, I think that we'll touch on this quickly and then we'll move. Go on, we'll get into more like the jealousy stuff, but like Reid and I both have close friends that we have hooked up with in the past.

I mean, one of your very best friends, you thought you really were in love with him for a minute. Like and you you're great friends of them now. Have zero feelings for him. You was then I was like not even want to like him to touch you. And like, I've had that experience, too. I've had guy friends that I thought I had feelings for at one point, maybe told them they weren't reciprocated. I have a guy, friends that have told me they had feelings for me, asked me out.

We're still friends. Didn't you know it can get awkward for a minute. They're like, but if you really both feel comfortable and you want to continue the friendship, you can. I mean, I think people everybody has these stories.

Like I sometimes think about like if you have hooked up, it's almost better. This is not how everybody thinks. But if you are dating somebody and you're worried about his best girlfriend, I'm like, I don't almost them.

They write it out like, yeah, it's almost better because they actually it didn't work and they actually tried, like, it's better than like them both wondering what could have been like if I have a guy friend and he has some best girlfriend and they hooked up drunkenly years prior or whatever, like I'm almost like well they definitely I want to date they would have dated if they wanted to date.

I think there's a lot of people that are of the ilk of like there's no such thing as like a guy that your friend is just a guy that doesn't to you yet I almost prefer that we've talked and then you just know exactly like you said, that's like not going to work out. It's like, OK, well, we got that off the table and now we can be friends again.

Yeah. And you can still think your guy friends are hot and wonder what it would be like to fuck them too and never act on it the same way. Like I have a lot of hot guy friends I always have, like I surround myself with men and I feel like there is you know, if you're dating a guy, you know that if he has a hot girlfriend, he thinks she's hot. He is thought about what it would be like to fuck her.

These are human things and you can never control that. So that's just one thing to like, let go immediately. My man has, like, these hot girlfriends, OK, we can do about it, you know what I mean?

Like, it doesn't matter. We're all about women. Like we have to let go this idea that, like, we have a partner and then they no longer are attracted to anybody else ever for love, it doesn't matter. And even if they did sleep with the person, they're not sleeping with the person anymore. Like, I do think guys could be friends. And they I'm sure my guy friends thing my titties were great with. I'd like to see them.

It doesn't mean they're going to, like, ruin the whole friendship. It burned to the ground. Like, it's just it's fine. Like, I think that we can talk about, like how to manage, like your negative self talk and your jealousy towards like the end of the episode. But like, I think that that's something that you have to deal with. And like, I do think people can just be friends. And that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to them.

It just means I'm not going to take their dick. Yeah. And my best guy friend in the world, like, yeah, we fucked and we came back from it and we're fine. And yes, we can just be friends. We're just friends like throughout the pandemic. Like he's the only person who I like really was around a lot. And I slept at his house half naked all the time. Yeah. It never crossed either of our minds to touch the other person.

I know I have a really good guy friend that like I thought I had feelings for. I guess I did. And I told him and they weren't reciprocated and everything's fine. Don't look at them like that anymore. He doesn't look at me like that anymore. Like the feelings past. Like those things happen all the time. I think if you are having feelings for your friend of the opposite sex, you can always shoot your shot and you can say something, you know, over drinks when I like.

Have you ever thought about this romantically? You see what they say? I have. I've had girlfriends like I think I've read that I like really just liked as a friend. And he was like, we should get, you know, we should go to dinner or whatever. It was like I was you had a group together like I just like so quickly. There's little ways this episode isn't about that, but like, I just can't hammered home enough that like if if something happens where one person catches feelings, like it is not the end of the friendship by any stretch.

And I think we talked about that a little bit more. And should you fuck your friends to talk to you out the whole episode? I thought it was great. And yeah, I mean, you can talk to your friends, go for it, you know. Yeah. Might be like a year of awkwardness then. You're like me and my friend. We're fine. Yeah.

This kind of all is going to like weave together and like behavior. Right. Because so much of it's just about how you act. It's about how you act with your friends of the opposite sex when you're dating somebody and vice versa. How old the person you're dating or your partner acts with their friends, the opposite sex, how you act around them, how you communicate about them, how you like, how you're intermingling with your friends and with your partner, like all these things are what matters to me.

Yeah, maybe we start with like my boyfriend has these female friends. And I think there's like two scenarios. I think there's like a scenario where, like, he has a lot of female friends and that's tough for me. And I think there's the hardest scenario of all. He has this one female friend and it's a problem. And I think that, you know, it depends. We talked a lot about this offline before we started recording. You know, how does he act towards these people in relation to you and where are the boundaries and what does the behavior look like?

And at the end of the day, where do you draw the line? And like, where is it? OK, my experience is that I dated somebody for four years who went to law school with all these girls and maintain friendships with them and then worked for them with them in law firms and was going out with them all the time. And it was a lot. Distance relationship, and he was constantly going out to dinner with all these girls, I just didn't care, like he was open with me and honest, he openly texted them in front of me, occluded me and plans with them.

He made it clear that we were dating. I knew that they knew who I was. They were always invited to hang out with us. I was invited to hang out with them. I followed them on Instagram. I did with them like I just felt like there was never a moment where I stopped and was like, something's going on here, something's weird. And he never gave me pause. And I think that, like, that's what you would hope somebody would do.

That's not like if all those things are happening and you still feel really threatened that your partner has about your girlfriends. Again, I think it's a little internal and bright and you got to work on that. Right. Well, and ask yourself, do you have guy friends? Like, can you put yourself in their shoes? Right. Like, I think the self talk is OK, but can I have platonic friends that I don't want to forget that don't wanna fuck me or that there's no feelings there?

So, like, why couldn't my partner, you know, like, are you just being hypocritical or do you not have any friends? The opposite sex, you know what I mean? Like, I can't imagine because, you know, I have a little bit of a jealous streak, but I dated somebody seriously that had a lot of girlfriends. You know, he worked with a bunch of girls. They would go out and they would do stuff together after work and things like that.

I mean, they would tax, they would message, you know, things like that. And I had no room to talk. I had a ton of fucking guy friends. So it's like, can't you just kind of take a step back and be like, OK, I can at platonic friends. So why can't my partner and if if you can't, that's something you have to work on. Like is it coming just are you projecting is what I'm saying, you know what I mean.

Yeah. And it is this every relationship that you're in is every guy that you're dating. Do you have a problem with them having girlfriends? That's a huge problem. If you're dating somebody and you have a problem just with them and their behaviors, women, then you have to ask yourself, why is this person make me feel like this? Why don't I trust this person? Am I being gaslighted? Is this irrational? Like, why am I with a person that makes me feel so shitty all the time?

And I think that people just get into these, like loops where they're just like fighting about, you know, who you're hanging out with and it being females and, you know, what are the boundaries. And, you know, is this the first time this is happening or is this always and I think at some point you just got to let it go. Like with my ex. I just he wasn't apologizing for dinner with these girls. At first I thought it was like a little weird.

And I was like, oh, I'm not around. They don't know me as well. At some point I had to decide I want to live my life and be fine with it. And until one of them really gave me a reason to be passed, I just had to live my life. And if you're going to spend every day being anxious and worried and stressed out, that's probably not the person you should be with. Right. And your man could go to drinks with his girlfriend and fuck her that night.

He could also fuck her in the middle of the day while you're at work. Like like if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Like, you can't control the situation. Like, I just think it's like you get in your head of like, well, I don't want them doing this and this and this. And you're like, it could happen at any time. If it's going to happen, you know, there's no like I'm going to try to keep them out of this situation because these are high risk.

Anything could happen at any time. I mean, you just can't stop a person from doing what they want to do. If somebody is determined to cheat on you, they're going to cheat on you. And I probably fell into this when I was a lot younger because I was dating somebody who was cheating on me and really terribly. But no amount of going through his phone, his DMS, his text messages, crying, fighting, knowing where he was showing up at his work.

It didn't stop him from cheating on me. It made my life terrible. It made me miserable. It made me think about this every second of every day. I just shouldn't have been with that person. And no amount of personally stressing out is going to fix that. And it became almost this like self-fulfilling prophecy where I was so worried he was cheating on me and like jealous that the problems were no longer about that.

The problems were that I was insecure and I was jealous and I was creating a problem all the time. And like, it's a weird example because he really was cheating on me. But like, I do think sometimes you get so wrapped up in this that you you become the demise of your relationship, not the fact that the person is cheating on you. Right. And I just I love what you said. Like, they could just fuck that person the middle of the day.

I love I love that you tell people that it's just true. Yeah. What do you do about it or are you going to go right.

And like, if my ex had said to me, like, I'm going out to dinner with a girl and I would have screamed at him for an hour, what would that have stopped? You would have gone anyways. And you got to factor if you felt right. That's exactly it.

But we are going to continue this conversation and get into some specifics of the relationships that we have with male friends in our lives and all kinds of stuff. But we were just going to take a very quick break to talk about our other partners for this episode. I am telling you guys about Tushy.

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Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. So she tick tock us. I'm talking to about Delia Harverson to see how long I can go before she jumps in and we go. So let me just jump in here. I'm gonna let you finish my daily harvest. Actually, I have been so obsessed with it since we started working with them, and especially because I have been working out like crazy every single day. And I've been thinking a lot about what I put in my body because I am forced myself every day to get up and work out for an hour.

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That's promo code GGGI for twenty five dollars off your first box. A daily harvest dotcom. That's Daily Harvest Dotcom. Yes. OK, I want to say to you I am very inspired because you said you want to talk about your best guy friend and his relation with his wife. I'm inspired by that relationship and I think there's a lot of really good takeaways because I think that's probably what most girls fall into, is my man has this one best friend, and I don't like that girl and I don't like that girl's behavior.

And I'm intimidated. It's not usually as simple as like my man just has a lot of girlfriends. Yeah. I think it's usually I have a problem with this one person and I feel threatened by it. I'm uncomfortable by it. And I think that you and these two people are really good example of how a man should act with his significant other in the situation and how the best girlfriend should act. Yeah. So I would love for you. Yeah.

I mean, I, you know, I have a best guy friend. I'm Rob. You're friends with them too. We've been friends. For a lot of you, we've been friends for a while and friends were like eight or nine years at this point. I mean, he's married. I'm friends with his wife. He just has always lived a really open and transparent life where I feel like the people that have the girls that he's dated have never had an issue with me because I was friendly to them.

I'm not like weird and territorial and like, you need to get through me. You don't like it any way to act. Yeah. So there's that there's me being, like, accepting and always wanting to get to know whoever he's dating is my friend. And like a great new girlfriend for me too, you know. But it's I think it's just him, you know, like he was here for a week. We went out every night, like went to dinner and went to drinks.

We were hanging out of my apartment getting drunk, you know, like in most nights we face time. And his wife, like, you know, it was just like we were the three of us talking and we've hung out, the three of us so many different times. And all that being said, a large part of this is obviously her and how cool she is and how confident she is in herself and secure in her relationship, which is the goal that we should all want and aspire to, is a relationship that feels so secure that these things don't bother you.

But I guess when it comes to him and his actions, he makes a point because he has other close girlfriends aside for me, like I would say on the number one. But like he makes a point to, like, make sure the person he's dating now, his wife, is not threatened at all because of the openness, the transparency and the like willingness to introduce these people to each other. It's when it feels secretive that it's fucking weird.

Yes. Did you find out that they hung out this person without you? Are they not answering their text messages in front of you? Like, are you like I think it's so fine. Like, you should be on a group text with these people. You should be included in plans. If you're not, something's going on. Has your partner communicated what the boundaries are like? Do you feel like they're on your side? You know, and these guys are going to say, you and I have so many guy friends and they always will.

That comment on our Instagram, like flame emojis, like looking hot like and their partners see it like they just it's like and, you know, some of them are a little on the flirty or side in general is who they are as people. But like, when it's all out in the open, that's when it's OK. Like it's when it's weird stuff behind the scenes that you don't know about.

Like, I just think that if you were a person that has close friends of the opposite sex and you want to date and you want to keep everything kosher, it's kind of your responsibility to be open and honest. And you if you're on the other side of that, you should be looking at your partner to do that, too. I mean, what I dated my ex, is it my pretty serious ex? It was kind of at the point in my life where I was hanging out with a lot of dudes.

Like most of my girlfriends, it kind of settled down. They were getting married. I had like a whole crew of dude friends and I couldn't wait for him to meet them.

They're still friends, so that's cool. But like, I just couldn't wait to introduce them to, like, my guy friends. And I feel like he felt a little intimidated at first. But I think the willingness which I was willing to introduce everybody you guys be friends, text without me, yada, yada. Join the Fantasy Football League together. Showed him that there was nothing to be scared of. I couldn't wait for him to meet Rob, you know, like there was no dude friend that he didn't know about except for one.

And I felt like when we started dating seriously, I kind of like drew a boundary there. And I think I like that you can you like you have a situation like this to with some your guy friends, like I think some people have that flirty friend that does kind of cross the line into like two flirty territory. And I think the person that has that friendship, if they start to date someone seriously that they're serious about, they want to commit to, it's up to them to draw that boundary.

It's always that one girl and you're like, what's going on here? And that person's crossing a line. I would ask your partner why they're not drawing a boundary because it's up to them to express to the other person that they are dating somebody now and not express them in the sense that you're a bitch and you're jealous and she can't handle it. And so you need to back off. What I'm saying is I do not expect my partner to say to a girl, that makes me uncomfortable.

Rayna's crazy. So you need to stop, right? Like, I would expect my partner to communicate that we are a united front and you need to stop this. And I do have, like, a really good guy friend, and we communicate pretty like flirty all the time. And I'm always like, baby, you're the most amazing man in the world and I love you. But like, if he started dating somebody, first of all, I would stop because I'm not a piece of shit like that is our relationship.

We joke around. I would die if somebody he was dating saw that and was like offended by it. And so, like, if your man has a friend, that's a girl that is not nice to you, that is a bitch to you. That is not pleasant. When you come around, we'll make eye contact. She's in love with him and fuck that girl. And I dated somebody and this was a problem for her. I said I dated this guy.

He had his best girlfriend. She was just always around. She did not like that. He was giving attention to somebody else. I think that she clearly had feelings for him. It's not like I loved how rude she was to me. I thought it was hilarious. I leaned into this so hard and I would like his face in front of her, whatever it took. It's funny your dating that person. Not that. Yeah. And if he wanted to date that person, he would have just dated that person.

You're probably coming around years later after they've known each other. They probably would have dated. So, listen, if the friend has feelings for your man, that's fine. It's a. Your partner to communicate that like this is not appropriate behavior. Yeah, and by the way, I don't like suggest instigating another person like day one out of the gate. I would always try to, like, make my man's friends, my friend. I always want to socialize with them.

I always want to, like, follow an Instagram joke around. Like, I would never want to be that girl that my man's friends hate because, like, you're just not setting yourself up for success. Like, you should want to be friends with people. But yeah, if that girl and I just read like some different messages from people that were just like, my man is his friend, she's not nice. I mean, fuck that girl.

That's her shit. I know. It's it's there's a couple of things. It's either she is like in love with him secretly, ordon secretly or she's just like this weird like territorial like she tried to be like a sister, like you got to get through me like you have to win my affections.

Shut up. Shut up. You're so immature. I have a brother and I don't act like that. I'm an adult. I don't have to get through anybody weird. Like, it's such weird behavior and like, honestly, question who your man is friends with. Like, if you if you person you're dating or you're starting to date has like these immature, catty friends like I don't know, that's a turnoff to me too.

But I do understand scenarios in which guys can't like they don't see it and then they it's hard for them to confront the person, you know, I mean, like guys was a little like kind of close.

Like, they're like, I don't get it. I don't know what you're talking about. And they could actually kind of I get it. They're a little more clueless when it comes to some of this, like, girl behavior. I think in this scenario, like this girl is just one of the guys. She was just used to being the only girl around and she had this big group of guy friends. I think she probably was in love with the guy that I was dating.

But like, I think that she did not like that another girl I came in. I think that you're right. I think a lot of men just like don't see it. And they're like, you're envisioning this like problem that she's not there. Like, I don't see it. I think men understand, like, the nuances of, like female say it as much as we think that they do. Right. And I think that at the end of the day, like, you can only ask your partner to, like, set boundaries so many times and then you got to evaluate, like, is it her, me or I got to get out of here.

Are you dating somebody that you also truly think is going to cheat on you? And that's a bad thing to like to ask yourself, do I really think my partner would risk our relationship for this person? Yeah. And like, look at reassess the relationship in every other way. Are they showing up for you? Are they loyal? Are they dependable? Like of all those things are there and there's just this, like, catty girl? I don't know.

I guess my fear is that she's like in his ear, you know what I mean?

Like saying stuff that's not true or like really trying to sabotage the relationship.

I also think the person, the crazy best friend, the crazy best girlfriend, best guy friend, whatever, it's like that person needs to, like, get a life a little bit, you know, like they shouldn't be freaking out that their best friend is dating somebody that they're into. They should be happy for them. It's like that with your best girlfriend, like we've talked about this with other episodes, like you could have a best friend of the same sex and they start dating somebody and your relationship might shift a little bit, you know what I mean?

Like relationships ebb and flow. That's mostly the world we live in. Like you can't expect that your friend is going to start dating somebody seriously and your relationship is not going to change at all. So it's just like that's why we have a lot of friends. That's why we have hobbies. That's why we have family and vacations and we do things so we don't just obsess over our one best guy friend so that we turn into this huge raging bitch when they start to date somebody.

Right. And if you are that girl, if you're the girl and I've been there, I have been so I'm not saying like, fuck all these people and they're all nuts. Like, I think that, like, I repurposed my best guy friend for a time period as my man who wasn't my man, you know, and he filled that role in my life as the testosterone in my life. And I remember like we used to have brunch every single Saturday and Sunday.

And I used to think, like, if he starts dating somebody, this will no longer be appropriate. Like, I can't spend every single weekend with him all the time and I'm going to need to stop this. And he did, like, go on dates with people. And I was like, it bothered me a little bit. And I was like, wait, I need to do a reality check with what I'm doing in my life because I'm not dating this person.

I'm not going to date this person. This doesn't need to be. My man is not my man. Like he should date other people. We're not going to date. Yeah. I need you to, like, get a life at all. Yeah, that's what I was. So I'm speaking from the point of view of like having been that person, like I needed to work out my own shit. Right. But I'm also not a fucking jerk.

And when my guy friends find somebody they care about, I back off because that's important. It's important to treat people with respect. Right. But I do feel for people that are worried about that stuff. And you can only try so much like until you're like, OK, is this a this is sort of like a me problem. And I was talking to a guy friend of ours yesterday who told me he was fine to talk about this. I'm one of our really close guy friends, was dating somebody and he has, I would say, very platonic working relationships with a couple of girls that his girlfriend had like a very serious problem with it and she couldn't stop.

And he said there was no amount of boundaries. I could say it like there was nothing I could do to prove to her that this wasn't an issue and I wasn't sleeping with these people. And he said, like I told her, like, I will only have this discussion so many times. And he said, I told her three times. And like the third time, I just I had to call it, she couldn't help herself. And she like.

Earned the relationship to the ground because she couldn't get out of her own head and cover where he was going to like he was, he was going to cheat on her and she didn't want to say like she ruined the whole relationship because I wasn't dating him. And I don't know what happened in that relationship, but I don't know. I just do think there are sometimes, like, you just have to call it sometimes. If you really can't get past it, I don't know.

Well, and those are just, I think general like jealousy and like relationships, sabotaging advice in general. It's like always take a B, you know, take a breather, try to figure out what's actually happening here, like try to act rationally, you know, like take a moment, assess the situation. Is it because you're drunk? That's could be a thing to, you know, like when you're lashing out and being jealous and like, oh my God, I have to, like, figure out what's going on with my man and his girlfriends.

Like, take a moment, you know, assess this. Are you bringing baggage from your past relationship into this one? Like where does this come from? Therapy's always great, you know, and sometimes just like self talk, asking another friend, am I acting crazy? They might say, yeah, you are. You know, and I think sometimes when you're really falling for somebody and you think that they're the most attractive person ever and they're so wonderful, then, yeah, you think everybody else wants to fuck them, but they don't know they like like she just thought he was like the hottest, coolest dude.

So he or she is thinking we all want to fuck him girl. We don't, I don't I really I feel like it's what it is flattering. Like I think that's when my my ex thought I was the most incredible, most beautiful, funniest, most wonderful woman he'd ever met at a moment in time. And so he of course, I still think he thought that all my guy friends, like I think he thought how could they not like how could I am falling for her so deeply?

How could these other men that are in her orbit, not like her like that. They don't. I don't.

I got gotta tell you, I can't stress enough but I will say like I, I guess like I said, I had one guy friend that our relationship was too flirty and he would call me all day, every day and he would really try to dominate my time.

And when I started dating my ex, I told him, like, this has to stop. And like, he flipped out a little and we weren't friends for a while and it took months and it's fine then. That was the price I paid. And it made me realize that that was his shit, not mine. Like you should be happy for me. I found somebody I like and you maybe had feelings for me. I don't really know. Our relationship was too flirty for me to have a boyfriend now, so I'm drawing the boundary.

Happy to still be friends. We can't talk all day, every day. Like we can't be pseudo dating because I'm actually dating somebody now. And I think I love that you use that example with with Dylan of like it is a flirty relationship. You tend to have a little more flirty communication with some of your guy friends. And it's just like the second they have a partner, you would just stop, but you wouldn't even feel the need to you would feel weird doing.

I mean, I would feel like a terrible, terrible, shitty person. What do I need to understand? Like, it's just a weird, gross thing. And yeah, I tell him every day, like, you're the most amazing man. I love you so much. And I call I say hi baby all the time. Yeah. I really, really felt for our friend's girlfriend that she was so in her head and she couldn't stop. And she my out I saw yes.

She was young. And I do think that, like, you know, they were out she was out drinking. I think that sometimes alcohol does play a big role in it. But like I do feel really I feel sorry for people that are so tortured that they can't stop and that it's like diarrhea of the mouth that you're just mad about everybody your partner's friends with. And like, I can't stress this enough. The guy that she was dating, like, would never have cheated on her.

He just wouldn't have done it. And the people that she thought he was going to do was he just wasn't. And I think that, like, if you truly believe that you're the person that you are with is going to cheat on you, then you shouldn't be with that person. But if it's every person, you really are so in your head and you're making yourself sick about this. Like, I really think that that is something that is deserving of therapy in the best way.

And you should understand, like why you can't stop burning this to the ground. I feel for her it is a real impulse to not be able to stop.

I do think there's some healthy jealousy. Yeah. I think that there's like some fun. I do think, like some people, people want to know that you're. Do you think they're so hot that you expect other people to find them hot? Totally agree. And I've done some like pretty funny, crazy things. Like I have dated this person sort of on and off for I don't describe him as a guy that I used to date and I saw on his birthday, this girl posted this photo of them out for his birthday.

It was him and four girls. I looked all them up and then I texted him all the reasons that I'm better than every single one of them. Yeah, I thought it was super funny. He knows that I'm not yelling at him and being mad at him about shit. It just I thought I was like a hysterical thing. And that lets him know that I find him attractive and I want to murder every girl that stands near him. I love that.

I like what with an ex, the mind of one time. I just went back on his Facebook and found a profile pic of him with his girlfriend like five years prior and just wrote Who is this in all caps with a. If emoji and just just for him, like to make him laugh, but the way the Facebook worked, it showed up in the feed. So the next morning, Jenny texted me. She goes, I'm crying at my desk like I have guy friends being like, actually, you're crazy.

And they were like, they were the picture was like 2012. It was it was like his girlfriend from so many years prior, like and I just was like, that's too funny. I'm going to leave it. He was like, Ashley, what are you doing? I'm like, it's funny. I think it's now late in the timeline. I just I love those little things. I think it's funny to let somebody know, like like you said, I think you're hot.

I think you're hot and people want to fuck you. The craziest thing I did was last summer this guy I was dating sent me a photo of himself sitting on his porch and his computer was on his lap. And it was like a huge, like, landscape photo of like it was his yard. And I zoomed in like 300 times to the computer screen to see who he was chatting with. And I was like, who the fuck is Amanda?

Yeah. And I just I thought it was funny. Like, he thought it was funny. It was I'm not being serious. Like, it is so insane that somebody would blow a photo up that many times would be like, what are you fucking talking to me? I know. Like, I do think there's healthy jealousy and you can be funny about it. And I think that it's fine to communicate like not funny stuff, but like it's fine to communicate boundaries.

It's fine to say, like, I'm mad about this. This is where I stand. This is to expect to be treated and somebody can tell you, I'm not going to treat you like that and go fuck yourself. That's why I do. You're allowed to be mad about stuff and set boundaries and then see how it don't see. Yeah.

And I think my nature again is like a little bit jealous. And so I was dating a guy not too long ago that I felt like I would always see him doing stuff with girls and like feel that like initial reaction of jealousy and then have to literally be like, Ashley, you have so many guy friends and they are all hot and awesome and amazing. Like how hard is it to date you like how hard is it for a guy I'm dating to see me hanging out with guys that are super hot, successful, you know, Rob Francis, this and that.

You know what I mean? Like, I would I had a boyfriend. I would come to New York and, like, stay in Rob's apartment with him. Like the guys I dated dealt with it. I'm sure they didn't love it. But, like, I just always have to put it back on myself of, like, you do the same thing and nothing is going on. And I wanted to talk about really quickly, I want to talk about the no new friends thing because I, like, have a lot to say.

I always use the example. I became friends with Francis while he has always had a girlfriend.

He's had a girlfriend since we met him. Like serious girlfriend, like they live together now. So like I was a new friend, you know what I mean? Like I was a new friend that became like very close with him. And I think it was there were some work related issues there. You know, we both do comedy. I think, like we connected professionally. But when we hung out, like the first time Francis invited us to come hang out was like at his at a party at his house, like his girlfriend was there, you know what I mean?

It wasn't like, hey, you want me and you to go get a drink? Like, I think there's like ways to make new friendships that like unspoken rules that people should abide by if they're making new friendships with members of the opposite sex when they're dating somebody. And I think those involved kind of like, again, the openness like, oh, I met this person. That's cool. In the area of work that I'm in or, you know, I'm thinking of inviting these girls, Ashley Raina, to the barbecue this this weekend, you know what I mean?

Like, I think it's just like all in the approach, all like how you choose to spend your time with those people and like, letting your partner know. Also, again, we've talked about this for multiple weeks now. There's people over relationships that none of this fucking matter is. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just talking about pretty traditional. Like you you want you're monogamous and you have amount of healthy jealousy. And I think.

We always jokingly say no new friends, but that would be hypocritical because like you and I have become friends with men that have girlfriends, we're friends with guys that are married or friends of Mike and Mike. They have wives. We became friends with them while they were with their wives. Like, I think there's a level of how you start those new friendships and how transparent you are about it with your partner and like what you should expect from your partner if he is making, quote unquote, new friends.

But I think there's contacts there, like exactly like you met him for the first time at a comedy show and we socialized with his girlfriend. She's aware of it when he comes to hang out with us. She is aware of it. It's not hidden. It's not don't mention this to her. It doesn't feel so duplicitous like everything is within context. Like I think it is more, you know, if somebody just starts popping up. Yeah, I haven't heard or heard of them.

Yeah. She's commenting on his Instagram. Why is this why it's going on. You should absolutely ask about it. You have to act like a crazy person. But I do think we should touch on coworkers for just a second because I think, you know, your man's at work. You're seeing, among others at work and they're spending all this time with this person and they understand a part of your partner's life that you just don't you're not around for.

And I think it's natural to feel a little jealousy about, like the person that they spend all this time with. Yeah, for sure.

I guess the main thing is like, are they excluding you from, like, their work life? You know what I mean? Because I think people are entitled to have their separate hobbies, have their separate friends and work and things like that. Like you don't need to, like, become one. Like I don't think that's healthy relationship at all. But like, there is a line of like, why don't they invite you every once in a while?

You know, I think healthy relationships, you do know the your partner's coworkers and what they're doing. And this isn't just just like always be involved, but like asking yourself, are you being excluded for some reason and why? Yeah. Everybody I've ever dated. It's no big deal if I pop into a happy hour after work, I'm included in holiday plans. I know their coworkers. I yeah I know they like work drama at work. Right.

You know, I, you know, when you're being excluded and when somebody is trying to hide something and also I mean just ask yourself, do I trust my partner, don't just five years go to their job and have a relationship with somebody opposite sex and not fuck them? Right. Like, I think it's totally fine that you're not a part of every part of your partner's life. Maybe they do flirt with the person a little bit at work.

But as long as you know that that person is aware that you exist, flirt with somebody at work, back, whatever, back to them you don't like, now get back at them. But like I always think like that, like, if I could do this, if I could be a little flirty with, like, someone of the opposite sex at work, like, why can't my partner and it be OK, you know what I mean?

And you think it can't be then that then maybe you have some trust issues there that there's like an underlying issue. Yep.

So I want to give credit to how stressed out it might make you feel that your partner spends a whole day with another person and they understand that. But as long as you feel like you're being included and you know it's above board and that person knows you exist, I would just sort of let it go. Everybody's going to have a private life that you're not a part of all the time. There's nothing you can do to stop that. So, yeah.

And yeah, of course, your partner could go to work and fall in love with their co-worker. You're just going to never let your partner out of the house or doing another job. Well, I like that idea. Oh my God, I'm just kidding. You guys like this together that's making that's the business. You're like this. The only way I can keep tabs on you. Ever work my partner. Oh, my God. So I think to like, wrap this part up, if you're sitting here and thinking like I've tried all these things, I'm rational, like I did all these things, I try to be calm.

I set boundaries. I asked him to stop doing these things and he still won't stop with the close girlfriend. And I feel like shit like I think that you're in a tough place, but I at least feel comfortable walking away from situations, knowing I tried everything. Yeah. And I think at some point you have to say to yourself, I'm going to let this go and I'm going to feel comfortable knowing that I'm the head bitch here and I'm no one.

Or you got to walk away. I don't know. Yeah, I think it's like anything else, like any other issue you have in your relationship. You bring it up in a rational way. You deal with your shit internally, you bring it up to your partner. You set these boundaries. If they still aren't hearing you, they're still not validating you. That could be indicative of a larger problem in your relationship anyway. So I don't know any couples that have broken up because of the the one person's opposite sex friends.

But if this is this huge problem you're fighting about all the time, you keep having the same fight. Like ask yourself what else is going on, the relationship, too. So, you know, in general, I think it's like across the board relationship advice. If this issue is you cannot get past it, you know, you come to a crossroads and you see what you got to do.

I love what you said because I think that, like, if someone in Valot, no one's going to break up because of, like, this one friend. They're going to break up because your partner invalidates everything you think and feel about everything. Right. It's not just going to be that. So I think that's great advice. Yeah. Let's talk about if someone you're dating is jealous of your friends.

We kind of touched on it, but I haven't totally experiences.

But I think we should just knock it out of the way like you are a person like me and you you have guy friends and you're dating somebody and he is jealous. I'm not I'm not going to do that. I just I feel like but I mean, I feel like some of this changes with age. I feel like, you know, I. I have become less jealous than I was when I was really young. I've learned to just let things go a little bit.

I've also learned, as we've said over and over, that I'm not going to stop somebody from cheating on me. So it doesn't matter. I do think we grow out of these behaviors. I think at this point in my life, like if somebody said to me, like, I don't like that you're on the road all the time and I don't know what you're doing and who you're with and who you're going out with. And if somebody started giving me shit for, like hanging out with the venue staff after a show, like, there's only so many things I can do to reassure you that I am committed to you, that I care about you, that you're my priority, that I have plenty of friends.

I have, in fact, and I will continue to, but there's only so much I can do to appease somebody else's ego. And then at some point that's their problem.

Yeah, I mean, I think that you ask yourself one, do they have reason to be are you hiding something? Are you being as honest and transparent and open as you can be, like take a step back, you know, like, am I giving this person a reason to be jealous or they are are they a jealous person? Are they gaslighting you or are they accusing you of stuff? And do you want to be with that person? Like, I have a girlfriend that she dated this guy.

They were on a few dates and he started acting jealous. She came to visit me in New York and he was coming at her for guys being in the Instagram stories. And I she went on to date him for a while. They are not together anymore. But he was like that. The entire rest of their relationship had a ton of insecurities. And of course, they broke up and and I told her this, if I were her, I would have never gone past that point.

I know that he was like a guy, that she felt chemistry, but he was a good looking guy. I never would have gotten past the point of you coming at me while I'm on vacation because you see guys and Instagram stories. We've been on three dates. Like I think if someone shows you that early on, that's a jealous person. Are they aware? Are they working on it or are they a crazy, jealous, possessive person? I'm not dating that person.

It is a huge turnoff to me. Of course, I want healthy jealousy. Of course I want you to think I'm desirable and that other guys want to fuck me. But like the accusations and the possessiveness is not for me.

So for that reason, I'm out. I want to agree with you. I want to give an example. But I also want to say how I probably would start if somebody really was being super jealous and I cared about the person. I'm not talking first three dates. I'm not a person. They're acting jealous. I went out that guy last year and write you down the bartender. The bartender bought us shots. The reason why he bought us shots is because I used to have a food blog and the owner of the bar knew me and told that bartender, send me and my date shot.

And this guy, he acted crazy and I really didn't like it. And I got up and left today, which, by the way, if you are uncomfortable with a man, you get up, you walk out that fucking date leave because I was so uncomfortable. I'm one of the first things I said to him when he started acting like this was do you always act like this? Has this been a problem with other people before? And he said, yes, it was nuts.

So honestly, of course, that is not a person I'm continuing to date of a date three, and you're already acting like a fucking lunatic. I'm out. But if I'm a little further in a relationship and I do think that you and I have a job and not everybody has, somebody said to me, it makes me uncomfortable that you're always on the road. You're around all these men. I'm not with you. I know you're doing. The first thing I would say is, is there something that I'm doing to make you feel like this?

And is there something I'm doing that I can stop that would be reasonable? Is there anything I can do to appease you? Maybe it's just you just want a phone call at the end of the night every night you just want. No, I go back to the hotel. You want the phone call before I go to bed? Fine. And I think if we do that a few times, you'll probably start to trust me a little more anyway.

Yeah. And if you feel like your heard your boundaries have been respected, I do think it'll stop a little bit. I know everybody doesn't have jobs or they travel, of course, but I would at least start, you know, is this a rational person? Is there something I could do to make you feel better or something I've been doing that makes you feel bad? Right. And then you evaluate, am I capable of doing those things?

Am I willing to do those things? Is this rational? Is this OK?

You start doing that and then it's usually fine. Yeah, OK. Usually though, you know what I mean? Because some people are just crazy, jealous and possessive. Yeah. That usually escalates into like bad behavior. So but yeah. Just you know, I can see that situation. I like that you said that like, hey listen, your podcast, you always talk about getting off stage and fucking the bouncers, you know what I mean? Like I I'm a human.

I am going to assume that that could happen. I don't someone might, you know, maybe a guy that has a little bit more tendency to be jealous, like plenty guys would be secure with it and they would be like, well, she's with me now. And that was like her crazy single days. And those days are over. But I can see a scenario and people know a little more information about you or, you know, they they look back at your Instagram and they realize you used to be a crazy party girl and you're with all these guys and you were doing fucking wet T-shirt contest on spring break and whatever.

And they're like a little hesitant about who you are as a person. And I think that's a great example to like, hey, what is there anything I can do?

And there's or anything I'm doing? And you and I also are like a specific outlier case. Not everybody has like a podcast about sex and dating and then we go on the road. But yeah, I think that it is it's totally healthy to say, am I doing something? Can I stop doing it? Am I willing to do that? And we see. Yeah, the crazy unwarranted I'm not doing anything to make somebody feel jealous, like I'm a pretty trustworthy person.

I'm pretty above board, everybody I've ever dated has immediately met all of my guy friends, knows everybody in my life, it would be weird for you to feel crazy jealous. And I'm just I'm not I'm out like you, so I'm just not dating that person. Like, I'm not going to get screamed at and accused of things and feels I feel upset all the time and then creates this pattern where I'm just lying to you all the time about stuff.

I'm just I'm just not going to do it, like grow the fuck up, not grow up. I just think, like, in terms of jealousy, like check in with yourself. And there's like no amount of like combing someone's emails and text and you have been fighting with them and you stop them. And I've tried, you know, like I have gone to the brink of insanity and back to try to stop somebody. And I'll just make myself miserable.

And if somebody is determined to be duplicitous, they will be. And I'm not saying don't ask questions. I'm not saying don't draw boundaries and communicate how you want to be treated. But what I am saying is don't make yourself sick over someone else's behavior or just try to have healthy reactions to it and see where it goes. Yeah. So we want to talk about our listeners, male female friendships. We are calling this what we're calling it the friend zone, but it's the mutual friend zone because I think Friendzone has a connotation of like one person wants to not be in the zone, in the zone and you are in it.

So this is like you and your let's say you're you're a woman, you and your best guy friend. You've been mutually happily friends, OK? Yes. With each other. And obviously, like 90 percent of the responses were that he shuts in front of you and farts in front of you. So, yeah, I didn't we didn't skip over that. But we we got some great stuff from you guys just to just so that you can look at a relationship and know that it is totally platonic with you and somebody of the opposite sex.

Yes, I do. You want to start. Yes, I know about you. I felt personally attacked by this and I had you. I had to read it. Raita does not understand the zone, right? It fucking understands the zone. OK, if my guy friends have a girlfriend, I'm staying away. OK, how do you know by the way. OK, so how do you know you're in the friendzone. He calls me mom.

He tells me I'm like a sister to him. I fucked most of my guy friends and actually really stop when they like a girl. Good for you. He sends me his dick pics to gross me out when we're having an argument over, oh my God, we drunkenly made out once and I cried about it. I'm assuming she cried because she was so grossed out. We said to each other, Poop, Tecktonik. No, we got a lot of that video's on the toilet.

Got a whole bunch of these. This is how I know we're in the friends out. He's gay. OK, yeah. Yeah. I love this. They're protective of me talking to a new guy. Yet receptive balance is key. They introduce you to their friends. You fuck the friends, they don't care. That's how you know your girlfriend. That's how you know you're given a zero feelings for you. If you fucked a friend he introduced you to and he didn't care, I gave him sex tips to help him out with other girls.

I gave Rob a vibrator for him. Yeah, you gave up that vibrator. I'm so mad about it. I was drunk and I was like, do you want this? That every day he legit is not cute. Like, not at all. Oh, that's how she knew there in the friendzone he he would never touch for longer than three seconds. That's how I know. I'm friends with Ashley. He's one of the first people I text to say I did a thing.

I feel like that's very friend zoning.

I feel like you like did something like really not so. Yeah. Like that's a something that has my girlfriend. So you text your girlfriend. OK, so this next one is it's for you, this mystery. He's five five and I'm five ten. You know, like OK, I'm a bridesmaid in his wedding to his fiancee on her side. Oh I love that. I was a bridesmaid on my guy friend side. We're the best of the best man.

We always cuddle naked, get high and watch movies. Were that platonic. So it's never weird. Girl, that's not platonic. I wrote this your naked cuddle. No. Why are you guys naked? Does she think she was answering this like this. I knew he was gay.

OK, it's like why are you guys naked.

OK, he calls me dude, bro, buddy or friend. He explains to me in great detail all of his sexual conquests. He sees me wearing my sweat pants, pulled up to my titties and a low pony. Oh my gosh. She's got like the colonial founding father pony. He knows when my period is every month. He told me I've never been attracted to you. And I think it was so sweet.

I'm sure I don't think it's sweet. I don't know if I'd like that. I don't I wouldn't like it. I want my stuff. But attractive at one point, just like one moment, they were like she had all moments. I want them to be like, listen, I'm not going to cross the line, but I would. We sleep in the same bed drunk. Sometimes nothing is ever happened. He calls me at 2:00 p.m., not 2:00 a.m. less funny.

We fucked once and now we both know we never, ever want that again. Say I was so bad, never going back weekly wingnuts together. That's not something you do with someone you're trying to fuck. I love that you like one wing woman for wingman, wing woman for each other. He consulted me for advice when he got chlamydia. Yeah, that's so true. He doesn't want to fuck you. We go to dinner and split the check.

No questions asked. Same. Same. He's fucked all my friends. We talk about him getting blowjobs from strangers, and I couldn't literally give less of a fuck. I don't have the urge to make out with him when I'm drunk off my ass. And I gave him an in-depth explanation for how the Diva Cup works. I'm not doing that with my brand, the cup, you know, like the period cup. You know how I knew that I was platonically friends with Dylan is that he came over at 10 p.m. to hang shelves, that he actually hung the shelf.

Well, he didn't actually show you what the show. It's up to the guy, Michel. That's how I knew I was talking about this last night. I was like, how do you know we were friends? He was like, I came over to Charles Tumbi on. All right, guys, we'll hope you enjoyed this episode. Yeah, I hope hopefully made a lot of you feel better about. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Just stop being such a crazy bitch.

You're a bitch and let's you have a reason to be then burn his house down. You guys know where to find us girls. Got a podcast. Dotcom Girl's got a podcast and Instagram Ash has Ranaghat Greenberg on Instagram Girls Underscore got ITW on Twitter and YouTube. Dotcom slash girl's got to eat. And that's it for us.

Have a great week I.