Hi, guys. It's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it.

Before we dive into today's episode, I first want to thank our sponsor, Therisage. Their Tri-Light Panel has become my favorite biohacking thing for healing my body. It's a portable red light panel that I simply cannot live without. I literally bring it with me everywhere I go, and I personally use their red light therapy to help reduce inflammations in places in my body where, honestly, I have pain. You can use it on a sore back, stomach cramps, shoulder, ankle. Red light therapy is my go-to. Plus, it also has amazing anti-aging benefits, including reducing signs of fine lines and wrinkles on your face, which I also use it for. I personally use their Asage Tri-Light everywhere all the time. It's small, it's affordable, it's portable, and it's really effective. Head over to therassage. Com right now and use code B BOLD for 15% off. This code will work site-wide. Again, head over to therasage, T-H-H-E-R-A-S-A-G-E. Com, and use code B BOLD for 15% off any of their products. I'm so excited about this episode. Okay, this is Fitness Friday with Friends. And why I love this episode, it's about men and women and what's attractive to the opposite sex and what women want, what men want.

We talk about this sometimes. And I believe this is health fitness because it's about, I hate to say it, but it's a little bit about your esthetics, your vanity, how women train, how men train, what women are doing because they think that They're going to attract them, men more and vice versa. I love all this stuff. Let's talk about this. My guest today is my friend Leroyne. He is a fitness personal coach, a fitness coach, strength training coach in LA. He lives nearby me, and I asked him to come here and be my friend today.

She had no other friends once. Once every 10 years, it happens.

Exactly. Leroy and I, we used to work out together a a little bit, but we became more friends than anything. We used to work at Equinox, we saw each other. We worked out beside each other, really, more than working out together.

We did one or two exercises together. Show me something, I'd show you something. Yeah, exactly. That's how friends are made in the fitness world.

That's true, right? That is. We actually parallel play. You know what kids are playing? Yeah. Same with the fitness friends, right? You parallel workout.

You still have your routine. You borrow one or two things, but you're not going to throw your whole thing.

Exactly. I'm not really bothering you in your workout. You're not really bothering me in my workout. Parallel play, that's what it is. It is. It's like parallel play. But for fitness, like fitness play, it's exactly the same thing. But you are actually, you worked out with my friend, and that's how I met you. You parallel played with her a little bit.

Making it sound very...

Well, didn't you parallel play? No. Okay. Well, no, you did. I'm not saying you... That's not like an euphemism for something else. You parallel played, like you worked out beside each other.

No, I'm definitely a parallel player in general.

A hundred %.

Because I like my... I do things my way. Me too. I'm very social, but I don't know, maybe it's a Gemini, I think, if you believe in that stuff. But I'm very social, but then I also have a very strong sense of like, this is what I want to do. I'm like that with everything, not just fitness.

It's not just fitness? No, it's a personality trait. Just a personality trait. Okay. I'm like that with fitness, actually. I'll work out with you, no problem, but I want to get my own shit done first. Yeah, for sure. Let me work out first and then we can do whatever.

Yeah, it might also be a high achiever thing. Do you think so? I think more driven people are like that. They don't just like... Otherwise, you're like a leaf in the wind. You're going everywhere. This person is doing this, and then you're jumping on this new fad and you lose your part.

You know what's funny? Because a lot of my friends who are really into fitness and all the things like that, they also don't love to work out with people. I'll say to people, thinking it be a nice social thing. Hey, we can talk, we can work out together. And more often than not, they're like, meh, let me just do my own thing. Why don't we meet after for coffee?

Yeah, for sure. Me after for coffee, 100 %.

We'll get a shake after. And I thought, okay, that's actually way more preferable for me. I just tried to be friendly. But I think a lot of people who take their fitness seriously do feel that way. But I think it's a really great gateway drug, so to speak, for people who aren't... They don't love fitness. They don't love to work out. And it's a really great great way to get people to exercise is to do it with your friends and motivate each other. So if you're somebody who doesn't love working out or you need to start a program and you need to get that kick in your ass or that little bit of motivation, definitely try doing it with a friend and then use a goal. Say, let's train for this half marathon or for something because then it keeps you engaged. That's a quick little tip. Tidbit? Yeah, a little tidbit. Okay. So in the last episode, we started to talk about... Actually, we're talking about training, training styles for men and women, like how women like to train, how men like to train. And it went into this whole other conversation about what women think men want and men like, esthetically and what men think women like, esthetically.

And you're saying that women usually think that the skinnier they are, the more attractive that they are to men, which is actually quite the contrary, right? Even though, do you remember in the '80s when Kate Moss was... She was the hottest thing in the world?

I was born in '88.

Okay, no, '90s. She was in the '90s. Sorry, '90s.

Kate Moss was the English one? Yeah. Who went off the rails or so?

I don't know. I think so. She was like the Calvin Klein model. She dated Johnny Depp.

Yeah, Calvin Klein models.

She made that wafe look really popular. And so every girl thought that that was the way to go. Yeah.

And when I was a first personal trainer, that's what everyone wanted. All the women came and they said, I just want you to turn me into this lamppost. And I was like, okay, sure. Right.

But then let me say this. Over time, things evolved. And Kim Kardashian became really popular. And then having a really big butt was the biggest thing in the world. And that's what everyone wanted. It's losing its cash. I don't know It's losing its status or cache. People are now the pendulum is swinging the other way again. But everything is cyclical, decades. Either the look is being a wave, it's being voluptuous. Marilyn Monroe was very voluptuous. Now we're in that big butt, small waist, and people are getting those Brazilian butt lifts.

I think we're in a dangerous time because this is something in human history that's never happened before, many things actually. But in the fitness/fashion world, it's fake bodies. It's plastic bodies. That is, I think, dangerous. I said this on the last episode where I've seen a lot of women who are naturally very beautiful or even just like, whatever, sevens, eights, nines, even sixes, whatever. It doesn't matter. Wherever they are, they had their natural beauty. Then they were just like, I want to be whoever, famous person, don't and they became plastic. They got a fake butt or fake lips or fake whatever, and they instantly dropped down. And usually, women don't recover from that. I'm saying this as a man.

Yeah, tell me. Well, you know what? Okay, is that more of an LA thing? Or I heard- I don't think anymore.

It starts in LA. That's what I mean, too.

England's like that, too. Well, I think that it used to be that LA was known for that fake plastic look. But now plastic surgery has become So mainstream everywhere around the world. Even the Middle East. More? No, no. People are flying to Turkey to Colombia because it's cheaper. But there are girls who are 20 years old who are casually talking about- Yeah, and young.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Crazy. And they're like, Yeah, I got my lower facelift. I got my nose done. I got this done. I'm like, are you kidding me? You're 20 years old. I'm in my 40s, and I'm scared to get anything done. But I think it's actually It's become very trendy to be doing that. I don't think there's not even any shame. It used to be like you felt shame, or you were really embarrassed, or it was like a secret. And now it's very much out in the open. Like, oh, yeah, look what I did. It's like a status symbol.

Yeah.

There's no shame around it.

In Iran, apparently, I know this is nothing to do with America, but in Iran, women will put bandages over their face, their nose, even if they haven't got surgery, to show that they're high status enough to get nose jobs. Really? So they're lying about getting plastic surgery.

Is that true?

I think so.

You think or you know?

I'm pretty sure. I mean, if you're watching or listening, then just fact check me on this, but I'm pretty sure that's actually how it works. That's insane. I just think- I guess it shows you have money, maybe. I don't know why they do it.

That's crazy. I just think it's insane. What are What are we doing out there that we think that we're not good enough, that we have to manipulate our bodies to such a point where it's become so common, where it's not even looked upon as weird. At a young age, and this is what happens. It's like we're And listen, I get it. I actually understand how it happens. Never before in the world, in life, have we ever seen ourselves constantly on a camera? Think about it. You might catch yourself in the mirror or something.

No, through Zooms, through social media.

All you're doing is staring at yourself.

It's a natural way of living.

Right. And so all you're doing is... So all you're seeing are your imperfections 24 hours a day because it's constantly You're being reminded.

The funny thing is other people don't. And that's the weird thing is, especially, again, looking at it from a framework as a man, looking at women who are doing this and younger and younger and younger and pretty girls, too. Girls who are naturally attractive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very pretty.

Then one day they just come in and it looks like they've been stung in the face by a bee.. I'm sorry if I'm offending people.

No, it's 100 true.

It's like, no, but- It doesn't look good.

But what's funny is you ask any guy, and most guys will say they're rather the natural person than the person that looks like they've had so much work done.

I think women think that that's... And so there's an equivalent on the man side, bringing this back to the original, the source of this conversation. There's an equivalent on the other side where men want to get really muscular, like overly, overly muscular. I guess it's called the Donis complex, where you want to exaggerate, almost like become a caricature, become a cartoon of masculinity. So you just exaggerate, exaggerate, exaggerate until you're no longer really masculine. You're hyper masculine. And women find that unattractive. Women are not joking when they say, if you see veins, like unnatural veins, I'm pretty vainy, but like unnatural veins or the steroid look or the monster look. Or something that's too perfect, even. Something that's too chiseled, too perfect. They find that unattractive. And men think, they just.

Is it like bullshit? Yeah, bullshit. Well, you know what, though? There is- They love it. That's what they think. I think you're right. Because there's some men who are just so big. And I get it. I can't put it in the word swole, but so muscular. It looks crazy.

But they lost the line of what was- Right.

But I think that happens with the girls on the other side. But this is my question. Now, isn't it really different people like different things? There are some people who are going to like that look. Some people are not going to like that look. I know a lot of guys who think that that girl looks hot, who has the size triple D boobs and that waist that's been cinched in with her ribs being taken out and her butt being plumped up. And they think, wow, she's smoking I'm not. I think there's certain guys who find that hot because they think it makes them look good.

I think a lot- It's like a trophy. The new trophy is like the plastic girl.

But then you have to think to yourself, what person or what type of guy is going to find that attractive?.

It is true.

By the way, I think about those things all the time when I see people, and maybe this sounds bad, but I quickly make an assessment based I'm around those things. Don't you? Because when I see a guy who's 55 years old or 60 years old and he's with a 25-year-old girl, I'm thinking like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? And you two, lady.

Yeah, I think about the girl more. I mean, I get why the guy would do it.

Well, listen, I get why. Listen, let me say this. I get it. I get it again. I understand why. What I don't like is that just says something about the guy because- I agree with you. What do you have in common? You have nothing in common. I agree with you.

It's just pure physical attraction. That's it. You're basing your whole decision of your partner.

Well, you have nothing to even talk. What are you talking about? Yeah, you're not talking. Or they'll say, Oh, no, they're an old soul.

It might happen every once in a while, but generally speaking, probably not.

Well, because also, where do you relate? I like people who can remember European vacation. We know references, movies, and who whatever, whatever in the '90s or whatever. These people were not even born until 2005. So I find that to be strange.

Especially now, the pace of life moves so fast that things get buried. So I was born in '88. I guess it's getting a bit of a revival now where people are dressing the '90s and stuff and wearing Navana T-shirts, even though they don't know who- My kids wearing a N'Vana T-shirt. Yeah, and they don't know who N'Vana is. They have no idea.

So Metallica is They don't. They don't. That's what I'm saying. It's important to be with somebody who you have things that you have like, nostalgia with. Yeah.

I love nostalgia.

I love nostalgia.

You know what I mean? It's almost painful, but it's like such a good bonding mechanism with people.

It's a huge bonding mechanism. One of my very good friends, Darren, me and Darren Prince, a shout out to Darren Prince. Him and I literally laugh all the time about vacation, about Clark Griswald, the Griswalds, like National Lampoon's Vacation, European Vacation. We bond over these funny movies that we both love. Do you know what I mean? And it basically was the beginning, the catalyst of a friendship because we had so much and so many things we were related upon. I just think it's interesting when people don't value those things and they undervalue real things that you... Bonding and connection in those for frivolous surface things, because that's to me is just silly. But anyway, I'm digressing. But I do find it interesting that men feel... Women think that men want something that pretty much they don't want. And vice versa is what you're saying.

Men prioritize a fit body. Every man wants the- Don't say every.

We're going to get in trouble. Not every man.

She canceled me already. I'm sure I've said something. But Most men who are attracted to women want the hip to waist ratio. This is like hip to waist. Another way of saying is butt to gut if you don't know what hip to waist is. You want a slim waist and bigger hips. Now, that ratio can expand, but the ratio has to say the same, but it can expand. Some cultures can prefer wider of both of those things, and some prefer narrower. I think Western cultures, European and American, probably want slightly narrowerer and then other cultures, I'm not going to mention.

That's a good point. So depending on where your culture is, what your esthetic preference will change, right? So in America, what's considered to be, quote, unquote, beautiful is different than, let's say, in another country. That's a good point.

It's changing now. It does change. And there's a lot of debate about it in general. Everything in America has to be controversial. Nothing can just be easy and smooth and function. Everything has to be really controversial. And that's the appeal of America. It makes things fun.

I don't think it makes things fun. I think unless you are PC about what you're saying, I had to correct you. I'm nervous all the time. Oh, my God. I'm always nervous. Because someone's going to be offended, which is a silly way to be. Everyone should be entitled to their own opinion. But what I was going to say is, okay, I have a question for you. As a guy, do you think, for the most part, men like a hot body versus a hot face or a hot face versus a hot body, or is that something that is very dependent on who the guy is?

I think it's dependent on who the guy is, but... It's a very good question. I haven't thought about this for a long time. Both. Is that cop-out? Am I cop-out then?

Yeah. Are you saying 50% of the guys want the hot face and 50% of the guys want the hot body, or are you saying they want both?

No, I think every man wants a little bit of both. They look at the whole package. Men in general prioritize the physical. But actually, they did a study and they found that when women are looking at physical characteristics, they tend not to prioritize the face at all. That's very, very low. The body is more important, especially arms.

Men do?

Women. Actually, women in some ways are more shallow than men, according to this study. I can pull it up later.

But men, I mean, I don't know. I think women like like tall men.

Yeah.

Okay. That's the first characteristic, physical characteristic.

I don't think that was one of the criteria.

Then I think women are not looking at their potential soulmate or their partner. And they don't have to be beautiful. They have to be somebody who can provide security for them. I think that's what women look at really, primarily. And then we can get down into the nitty-gritty.

The physical, I think, comes second, aside from height.

I think if you're attractive enough and fit enough, I think... But you have the potential and you have the ability to make a woman feel secure and you have the height. I think those things women are okay with.

That's the problem with the height. You can't really train that.

You can't train height.

You can get rich, but you can't train your height.

Well, the guys who don't have height, then they work even extra on their muscles. To get their body, yeah, to get really big.

That probably isn't going to cut it.

It doesn't look good either. I think the most attractive quality overall, I think in any sex is having a strong sense of confidence and self-esteem and being okay with what you are and who you are. I think being comfortable in your own skin is by far the most sexy quality someone can have.

For me, I think, and a lot of people think that, I think single people think that's It's probably bullshit, but it's true. For me, growing up, I always was attracted to women. I always said this, and I meant it. Physical was important to me, but I was a little bit different from a lot of guys in that. The most important characteristic for me was like, bubbliness. Because that was how I saw confidence. I saw a good mood and smiling and laughing and being happy-go-luffy. I always gravitated to that. I was never attracted to women who were off, with a bad...

You know what I mean? I think the word you're looking for is just miserable. Just not...

Yeah, that wasn't an attractive quality to me.

Grumpy. Nobody likes grumpy. I totally agree with you. I think someone who is friendly, I think the word friendly that you're looking for. Yeah. Friendly, happy, comfortable in their own skin. I don't care. There's no physical attribute that will ever take the place of that. You could be So you could be a smoke show in either way. But if you have a bad personality or you're uncomfortable in your own skin and you're insecure, you're automatically, to me, a zero. If you're someone who's not that great to look at, but yet you exude confidence, real confidence, not bullshit, like arrogance that you pretend to be confident. I mean, like real confidence, like that's at your core. You're like the hottest thing in the world to me.

I agree. There does need to be a baseline attraction, but that attraction is something that you can't always- Okay, let's say...

I'm not saying you got to be like 700 pounds and rolling around in the mud.

You don't really know what you're going to find attractive until you're actually attract it to someone. I think trying to get it down on paper, what is attractive to people. That's the problem with Tinder. What do you call it? Dating apps. Dating apps. This is how long I've been out of it.

How long have you been married for? Jesus Christ. God, you know nothing about these.

You're like, these dating apps. I got off right when I met my now wife. It was literally right around the time of Tinder. That was like a watershed moment, I think, in history because it got, I think, increasingly hard for people to find a long term partner after that. It was a lot easier before. I think I got out of the game at a good time in many ways. Although, I mean, if you just want to hook up, it's great.

Oh, my God. That's such a great point because you're right. I think it did… I'm so excited to talk to my next guest later. But because I believe that the dating app's popularity did ruin having a relationship. It changed a relationship into a situationship because you always can have options available to you. Paradox of choice. I was going to say that the paradox of choice is probably the most Gosh, it is probably one of the worst things that's happened to relationships and socialization. I could view that as. Yeah. Or if there's always someone down, I can swipe to. My mother would always say to me when I was young. The person with the most options will always end up alone because you get overwhelmed.

That's true. I see that a lot. I see that a lot with- I see it all the time. With women and men, but definitely with women. I see sometimes the girl who is always told and everyone thinks they're the most beautiful girl on the block and everyone's like, Oh, my God, you're such a princess.

You're so beautiful. I see it all the whole time.

They just struggle because they always feel like they could do better and also they should do better. They feel insecure because they're like, Oh, this person isn't good enough for me. That means that I'm not good enough because I'm this beautiful and I'm with someone who's only here. And so there must be something wrong with me. I totally agree. Way of expectation.

I totally agree with that. I also think what happens, I have a friend like this who's so beautiful. She's always single, never dates. I also think what happens is people don't even ask her out because they assume that she's with somebody. Yeah, the intimidation. The intimidation factor. So she doesn't even get even approached, basically. And the problem is what happens then is she ends up going up with the wrong people over and over again who are actually Way below her-What?

Overconfident cocky guys?

Just douchey guys who will go out, who are not free or full and go ask her out. But they're just not never good guys. And also, I think what happens is you don't learn how to properly... You don't learn or get the dating experience because you don't have... That happens, too. But I think what you're saying happens more often than not, which is you always think you can do better or If it's just a look thing, you don't hone other qualities to make you a full person that makes you someone that people want to go out with. Maybe they'll want to go out with you and sleep with you. But that doesn't mean they're going to actually want to have you as a partner because you're lopsided. You worked on your looks or you didn't have to work on anything else.

That's also an unattractive quality as well. There was a song by the streets back in the day and it was like, Fit, but you know it, meaning she's hot, but She knows she's hot, and that makes her less hot.

That makes you... Well, that's the thing. But why is it not okay to know you're hot? But I like what you're saying. It's all... Then you have to act- Hold in. Well, you're going to pretend. You're going to do fake humility. Like, oh, no. But then that goes into a whole other thing, right? Why can't we own the fact that if we know we have something, why can't we be happy about it and proud? Why do we have to have this fake humility all the time? By the way, a whole other podcast. I mean, this is supposed to be a short one, but I think- You can't have a short podcast on Men and Women. It doesn't work. I know. This would be like a sequel. I love this topic. I think a lot of people like this topic who are dating or just... I'm not dating, but I love it anyway.

I'm out of the game, but I still find it really fascinating. I'm so fascinated. I mean, it's how the human species are going to continue. We need to figure out dating, otherwise, we're gone. I know. We need to procreate. It's procreation, right? People are not procreating, actually, in some countries. Oh, I know. Then in some places they are. Actually, it is probably I have a real issue that we need to sort out. But it's also just fun to talk about, I think.

I love talking about it.

It's very entertaining. I don't watch Keeping Up with the Kardashian's or whatever. No, neither do I. I don't watch any of that stuff, but I really like to talk about it. Real issues. Me too.

I love reading. I'm such a nerd this way. I love looking at the data of what has happened between 19, let's say, 20 years before now or 10 years. So I can see how evolution has changed with technology, with apps, like you said, where we're going, how did it happen? Anything, how everything works. I'm so... Human nature, to me, I'm so fascinated by human nature. I would have been a psychologist in another life. I got my psychology degree.

We're psychologists now.

I know. We're psychologizing. We're psychologizing. That's true, right? All right, you guys. Thank you for staying tuned. I'm curious, you guys. Let me know, if you wish, what you believe. What did you think of this episode? Did you agree with Leroy and that myself? What's your opinion on this whole men, women?

I wanted to know if I offended people. I'm really curious.

You didn't really say much to offend. Trust me. I don't think you did.

If you did- No, I wouldn't be upset if I did. I'm just curious if people get triggered by stuff. I don't think you did.

How easily- People get triggered by everything.

I think different types of people have different levels of sensitivity. I don't know your viewers, listeners, your crowd. I don't know how sensitive they are.

Well, we'll find out. We'll find out, yeah. Okay, guys, thank you for listening. Have a great Friday. Bye. Bye.

This episode is brought to you by the Yap Media Podcast Network. I'm Holly Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire, Yap Media, and host of Yap, Young and Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On In Young and Profiting podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A best guests on Young and Profiting. I've got the best guests, like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark, Damon John, serial entrepreneurs, Alex and Leila Hormozy, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaher. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast, and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam-packed with advice that's going to push your life forward. I do my research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously, which is why I'm known as the podcast Princess and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years.

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