The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care and we'll see you there.

Hello. This is Leverne Cox. I'm an actress, producer, and host of the Leverne Cox Show. Do you like your tea with Lemon or Honey? History-making Broadway performer Alex Newell. When I sing the Holy Ghost Shows Up, that's my ministry, and I know that well about me. That's the tea, honey. Whoever it is, you can bet we get into it. My guest and I, we go there every single time.

I can't help it.

Listen to the Leverne Cox Show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Does your brain keep you up at bedtime? I'm Katherine Nikolai, and my podcast, Nothing Much Happens Bedtime Stories to Help You Sleep, has helped millions of people to get consistent deep sleep. My stories are family friendly. They celebrate everyday pleasures and train you over time to fall asleep faster with less waking in the night. Start sleeping better tonight. Listen to Nothing Much Happens Bedtime Stories to Help You Sleep with Katherine Nikolai on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcast.

I walked in and I had a hard drive filled with all of my music. He took it, he listened to it. He threw my hard drive out the window, broke into a million pieces. Not good enough. Start again. Musician, producer, a body of work. This guy has produced or written. Your list goes on and on and on. Benny Blanco. If you want to try to be a musician, an entrepreneur, it's scary. If you're going to fail, who cares? The second I feel, I'm like, the next day I wake up, I'm like, All right, let's do it again.

Hey, everyone. I've got some huge news to share with you. In the last 90 days, 79.4% of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel. There's research that shows that if you want to create a habit, make it easy to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed. This would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you in the world. Subscribe right now.

The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only, Jay Shetty.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you who come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed. You know that I love diving into the minds of people I find fascinating to dive into how people are creative, how people become conscious, and how people create things that the world gets excited about. I think I've always been a student of life and a student of people's journeys. And here we get to go back in time and find out what those key moments were in people's lives. Today's guest is someone that I've been dying to have on the show. I'm so excited that he's here in the studio. I've been feeling his energy and vibe already. I'm excited to share it with you all. I'm speaking about the one and only Benny Blanco, record producer, songwriter, artist, actor, record executive, and cookbook author. I'll have you know. I'll tell you about that in a second. Benny has contributed to the sale of hundreds of millions of albums worldwide through his work with some of your favorite artists, including Ed Sheeran, Scizor, Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Katie Perry, The Weekend, Maroon 5, Juice World, Sia, and many more.

As a solo artist, Benny has released two albums, Friends Keep Secrets and Friends Keep Secrets 2, that have been streamed more than 11 billion times today and have featured multiple platinum hits. Benny made his TV debut playing a fictionalized version of himself on the FFX series, Dave with Little Dicky. If you haven't seen it, that episode is brilliant. Benny's most recent project is his first cookbook, Open Wide. You can get it right now. We'll be diving into that as well. Welcome to the show, Benny Blanco.

Wow, that was so cool. I want you to walk around with me all the time I understand. I get why you're the number one podcast for health. When you were talking, my jaw was dropped. I was just mesmerized by everything you were saying.

I want to do the introduction now. Every time you go on stage, every time you're there, it has It'd be-I know.

I got to come up with one for you. I'd be like, perfect skin, beautiful eyes, wavy hair.

You're talking about yourself? No, I'm talking about you, baby. Same thing.

We're both got curly hair. We're interchangeable.

We got curly hair, we got colored eyes, you got good skin. Okay. I love it. Benny, it's such a joy to have you here, and I'm excited to dive into everything that I was just talking about. But when I'm sitting with someone like you who, creativity is at your fingertips, it's embedded into your whole life. I'm always intrigued. What's your earliest childhood memory of being creative? Do you remember the first thing you put together? You were just telling me you even had this shirt made that you're wearing today. What was one of the first things you remember saying, Oh, wow, I did something as a kid.

Okay, here's what I really I remember. I didn't have the luxury of having insane musical instruments at my fingertips and recording studios. I was from the middle of nowhere. My brother had a boombox, an old-school boombox, and I had a smaller old-school boombox. I remember my earliest memories of probably five or six. I I remember realizing that music... When I first heard music, I always thought that the musician was at the radio station singing the song, and I was like, How do they keep coming back to the station? I didn't even understand how music was created. But somewhere very early, I figured out that it was a multi-track situation. I had a boom box, and I would record me hitting this into the boom box. Then I would press play on that one, and then I would do the next thing on the other boom box and record into that one. I would keep going back and forth until I created a track. I guess I was creating my own eight track and multi track of layering things. I didn't even know what it was, but I was just so excited that I was doing it.

My whole career has been a version of that. I have no training. I'm not good at anything. I know people are like, Oh, you're being humble. I'm really not great at anything. I have an ultimate will to get things done. I'm like, This will happen. But no, it's just I'm always trial and error. I always tell people, people are always just like, Well, how did you do this? How did you... And I'm like, Honestly, just going in, and I call it making a mess. I like to go in and throw a bunch of shit around the room, throw pain in everything. And then we worry about cleaning it up later. But maybe a few of those things just happen to land correctly. And I just keep doing that until everything fully lands where I wanted to. And I'm just playing clean up around the size.

That's a beautiful way of describing the process. But what gave you that? Where does that will or that confidence come from? Because I think a lot of people are scared of creating a mess or scared of things not sticking so they never try. Whereas it sounds like you're the opposite, where you're like, well, I don't care if it doesn't try. I'm willing to give it a go. Where does that inner confidence, that inner ability to say, hey, it's okay, come from?

I don't care about failure at all. I don't care. And I never did. I think when I was younger, I didn't understand what failure was. When you're 6, when you're 7, when you're 12, there's not many people to let down. You know what I mean? You let down Timmy at school. He's your friend. Sorry, Timmy. But you You're not thinking about that. I just remember from the beginning, my mom was like, I wanted to drop out of school. My mom was raising me alone, and I was probably 15, 16 at the time. I was like, Mom, I know what I want to do. She was like, What do you want to do? I'm like, The music stuff. I'm so into it. I looked her in the eye and I go, I know I'm going to be the biggest in the world. She was just like, What are you talking? I've asked my mom later in life, How did you trust me in my journey? She always said that she had dreams that she never got to try in her life. A lot of people are just way too scared to take the jump. A lot of people may have, I'm sure everyone in this room, Anyone listening has a little something where they're like, Oh, I really like that.

But they're scared. They're scared. They're like, I want to post videos of me cooking online. No, no, no, no. No one will like it. My friends will make fun of me. I sing in the shower. No, no, no, No, because we're taught to just follow suit and do whatever you're supposed to do. You report to your boss. But it doesn't have to be like that. If you want to try to be a musician, an entrepreneur, whatever, it's scary. I'm sure you've had moments like that where you're like, What am I doing? But if you do try, I believe that if you keep pushing yourself and you keep trying, you're going to succeed. I always tell people this, it may not be in what you start with. When I started, I thought I was going to be the biggest rap artist in the world. Am I a rapper now? No. Then I moved into producing, and then I moved into songwriting. Then it's come full circle now where I'm like an artist of some sorts again. I think you just jump in and just try something. Just try. Who cares? If you're going to fail, who cares if you fail?

I don't understand. That's the thing I don't understand. You just get up and And you do it again. I have amnesia the second I feel. The second I feel, the second I feel, the next day I wake up, I'm like, All right, let's do it again.

That's an amazing mindset. So we share something in common already. We both grew up wanting to be famous rappers. Did you? Yeah. No. That was my passion, poetry, spoken word, writing lyrics. All I listened to was hip hop and rap growing up. If you asked me at 16 years old what I wanted to be, that's what I wanted to be. And it's so interesting because today I feel I use the same skills that I wanted to use then, but in a completely different way. I still write. I write books instead of records. I teach meditation, which includes music, it includes cadence, it includes rhyme often, but not in the way that a rapper would. I'm using spoken word constantly to get messages out into the world, but in a different way. I love what you just said about that idea of how you actually may succeed, but in a way completely different to what you originally dreamed of.

I hope it goes full circle for you. I want to hear I need to hear the Jay Shady rap tape. What was your rap name?

Oh, God. I don't know if I need to go that far. It was embarrassing, but I'll tell you later. I'll tell you privately. Tell me later.

Is Jay Shady your real name? Yes. That's the perfect rap name. Is it? Jay Shetty sounds like a fire rapper. Really? Yeah, from East London.

Okay. I'm from North London, so not far. All right. Yeah, not far. Okay, cool. I like it. I like it. But no, I really appreciate what you're saying there. I think that amnesia to failure. Wow. I love that idea of having amnesia with failure. Can you give me a time? Was that always the case or was there a failure that did pierce that veil? It never has. I can see from your face.

No. I remember when I was going to quit music one time, right before I made it, my mentor passed away. He took his own life. I was really young. He was one of my best friends, and I'm probably I remember sitting in my bed and I was just crying. I didn't understand. It was one of the first times that somebody who wasn't supposed to die, died. I've had... I had lost my grandmother and lost my grandfather. But it was the first time in my life where someone that I really knew and really touched me, and I talked to them the day before they died. It's like, I remember that hitting me so hard in a way that I didn't know was even possible. I'd been sad, but I remember sitting there in bed and I was just like, I'm just going to quit. I was like, I got to quit making music. Then in that very same moment, my head flipped and I was just like, No, you can't. You got to take on what this dude started. Because he was also a musician, and he didn't get Totally. He was well known and he was a hero to me, but he didn't get where I think he deserved to.

I remember being like, I got to do this. I got it. He would want me to be doing this. That was the only time where it wasn't even failure. It was the only time where I really question things. But don't get me wrong, every time I do something good in life, I'm questioning. But it's a different feeling. I don't know if you have this, but I'll have a number one song, a number one song. It's the biggest song in the whole world. I'll look in the mirror and I'll be like, Oh, that's the last one. Definitely not going to have another number one song again. Not saying I'm scared of the failure. I'm just like, Oh, that's just the last one. That's what I did. Or something really good will happen in my life. I'm like, Oh, I'll never recreate that again. But in the same breath, I'm like, Let's go. I'm like, Let's keep rolling. I've tried to do this thing lately in the last 5 or 10 years where I really take in my achievements because for a while, I never thought of them. I would just keep going. When it was time, they'd be like, Oh, your song is number one.

I'd be like, Okay, that's cool. What are we doing next week? I figured out it's okay to do that. It's okay to take a breath and be like, Yo, we just did this shit. This is tight. We did this. This is great. I'm trying to do that more. Failure, no, I've never had one of those times because whenever I do fail, I'll sit. Obviously, I'll sit there and I'll be like, This didn't work out how I wanted it to. But so many times have been the opposite where I was like, This will never work. And then it's big. I feel like it always evens out. And you only have one other choice. It's like, your only choice is just to keep going. What are you supposed to do? Just be like, oh, it didn't work. No, get up and you do it again.

I've got so many questions. I want to dive into so much that you said. So rewinding with your mentor, how did you first, and I'm so sorry to hear, thank you for sharing with us. Such a challenging event. And I lost my mentor four years ago. He passed away from stage four brain cancer during the pandemic. So I I couldn't go back to see him because I couldn't take a flight. And so I couldn't be at his funeral. So that was super rough for me. It was more recent. But how did you meet your mentor and how did you form a bond? I think a lot of successful people have mentors, they have guides, they have teachers, they have coaches. But then sometimes when you're listening to a conversation, you're like this, you're like, I want someone to be my mentor, but I don't know where to start. I don't know how to find them. What does that mean? How did you connect?

I've had so many mentors. I have mentors every day. I'm a mentor to people, but sometimes my mentees are my mentor. You always got to be open to just listening and learning. Every day I learn something. I was in the studio yesterday with a guy who was One of my mentees, the way I met, I got to tell you that story later. That's insane. I'll go to that. I'll tell that after. First one is I met my mentor. This is when he was my second or third mentor. I met a lot of really important mentors in my life when I was about 13. I was a musician. I was traveling for music at the time. I had gotten some buzz, and my space was a thing.

Yeah, I remember my space.

I had somehow created a profile where I had a bunch of followers. I don't even remember how I did it, but I was a kid. I used to do it in the library at school. There was this guy, he was a producer. I was obsessed with him. I DM, well, messaged him, the equivalent of DM today. I remember messaging him and I was like, I love your stuff, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then no response. I was like, Oh, I love you. Please, blah, blah, blah. No response. Then I saw a few weeks later, he was advertising. He was like, I have studio time available. It's like $500 or something. I remember just being like, Okay, the only way I'm going to meet this guy is if I get the studio time. I say, I'm interested in the studio time. He says, Great. Come to New York and meet me here. He had no idea where I was. I drove to New York, and we drove like four hours to New York. I get to New York, I get in with him. The first thing I say is I'm like, I don't really need studio time.

I just want to talk to you. Please, I'll do anything. I just want to work with you. I'll do whatever you say. But then he was just like, this was insane. He said, I'm leaving this weekend. I need my studio booked the whole weekend. It's $850 for the two days. You need to book it. If you can book it, I'll let you work for me. I called every single person I know. I spent every I had a few hundred bucks. Then I would beg my friends for money. I had a few rappers at the time that wanted studio time. I figured it out, and he was just like, he got back. I did it like, I just did it in the nick of time. He was just like, All right, you can work. You start next week. I would drive up every weekend from Virginia to work with him from when I was 16, 17. We created this bond, and it was like he was tough on me. He was not an easy I remember I walked in and I had a hard drive filled with all of my music, everything I had been making.

He took it, he listened to it, he ejected it, and then he threw it out the window. He threw my hard drive out the window, broke into a million pieces, no more hard drive. He was like, not good enough. Start again. He was like, Super sensei. It was like, Karate Kid. I hated him in the moments for it. But he taught me so many things that I learned and taught me things not to do as a mentor. It was a really special time. Now, I just want to jump to this. Okay.

Yeah, please. Yeah, go ahead. I love it. Let it flow.

This is, I don't know, almost 10 years ago now, maybe eight years ago. I'm playing poker at a friend's house, and my friend puts me on her story, her Instagram story. The next day, she comes to me and she said, Hey, my friend's son saw you on my story, and apparently you're a big deal in music. She was just like, You have to have him come work for you. I was like, What? She was like, Yeah, you have to have him come work for you. I was like, I don't need anyone else. I already have assistants, interns. They were like, No, you have to. This lady is like, There isn't really... You don't get to have a choice. I was like, All right, I'll meet him. This kid comes in. He's 15 years old. He's like,. He's just so excited. He was so sweet, and he reminded me of me when I was a kid. He was like, I'll do anything. I'll work for you, blah, blah, blah. I was like, All right, come work for me. He comes and works for me. I still am spending a lot of time in New York at the time, and so I don't see him.

He's just building a studio for me and has He never even met me besides that one day. But he does it for a year. Then I finally come back to LA, and I'm like, All right, you ready to come into some recording studios? He was like, Yeah, I'm so excited. First week, first three sessions. His first session is the weekend. His second session is Travis Scott, and his third session was like Maroon 5. So it's like he's getting thrown into it. I remember we're at the first session, and I'm just like, be cool, blah, blah, blah. It's the weekend. The weekend's in there, and we're all in a room, and we're just singing into microphones. We're chilling. I know his mind's blown. Weekend's his favorite artist at the time. I remember when no one's looking, he sneaks a picture, and he accidentally has his flash on. It goes and it has the noise, too. It was like, and when it did it, he went, and he threw his phone. Somehow, the weekend didn't notice, and I pulled him aside after, and I'm like, Dude, you can't do that. Fast forward, he's in high school, and I say, Hey, I'm in the middle of...

I was in the middle of making Ed Sheeran's Divide album, and I was producing the whole thing, and I was like, I need some help on the road. If I talk to your school and get you off, will you come? He was like, Yeah, of course. Took him on the road for two weeks. Mine was blown. Then he starts going to NYU, Clive Davis School of Music. I have another opportunity. I talk to his teachers. I take him on the road for a month. We're on tour with Halsey. Then he's coming back to work for me now. We've never talked about him making music at all. We're sitting there one day, it's late at night, and he said, My therapist said he's going to stop working with me if I don't play you my music. I said, What do you mean? You make music? He's like, Yeah, I make music. I was like, Why didn't you ever play it for me? He's like, I was so scared. I was trying to get better, blah, blah, blah. He plays me some songs. They're terrible. They're awful. But I can hear something in him. I know in music, so much of it is getting an artist to feel comfortable, getting them to believe, getting them to...

So much of it is your personality, and he had that. He had the it factor. I saw when he was with artists, he knew how to talk to them. He knew how to make them feel good, just like getting them food, everything. He spent years just seeing how I did it with artists. I decided to sign him. I was like, I'm going to sign you. He went on this journey, and now he's one of the biggest music producers in the world. I mean, last year, he won best record at the Grammys. He's had five or 10 number one records. That's insane. It's like this guy started, he was so humble, he was 15 years old. Now he's probably 26, 27. He just went on the journey. He knew when his time was, and he went in and he did it. It was just like, I always tell people, you just got to stick through it. You got to stick around. When I first signed him, it wasn't working for him. It took him a few years for it really to connect. It's such a fun story for me. That's a brilliant story. I've been fortunate enough to have that a few different times in my life with people.

And it was so cool because I had that experience, and we're all... To pay it forward is just...

Yeah, the intern applications to the Benny Blanca School of Music just went through the roof. Now, the amount Reid is going to get hit up this whole week. Dude, I love that. No, it's beautiful to hear that. And also what I love about that message is when your mentor throws your hard drive outside the window, it's so easy to be like, I'm never going back. Like, he's I'm crazy. I'm never going back. It's like whiplash. Oh, yeah.

That was my life. I was cleaning toilets with a toothbrush. That was my real life.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking of when you were describing it. I felt exactly like that. I'm thinking, but how do you show up again and recognize this value? Because I think now we're in a place as well where it's like, if something like that happened, we'd be like, Oh, no, get out of there. I know.

It did change a little bit.

You wouldn't do that. That's what I mean. You wouldn't throw someone's hard, right?

No, I would never do those type of things. I'm just not that type of person. I'm not a yelling person. That's not my way of communication. If I was sad about something, I'd be like, Man. I think it's probably almost worse. I'd be like, Why did you do that? I go quiet. Yeah. Or I'd be like, If you're ever in an argument in a relationship, I'm not a yeller. I'm like, Oh, man. I wish it was different. I can't even find the words, usually at the beginning. I think that's how I am. I think I really learned that you don't have to do that stuff. It worked for me. It got me to where I am. But you can be really positive. You can be a good influence on someone. You can be hard on someone. I was definitely hard on the guy I was talking about, Blake. I was tough on him, but I was never like, I would never be mean. There's no reason to do that. What made me keep going back? I don't know, sheer just will and drive. I just was like, What? That's what they're trying to do. They want me to quit.

They want me to... I don't know. I don't know why I do it. I wonder, sometimes I sit in bed and I'm like, why am I still working so hard? I still work like I've never done a thing in my life. I'm still wake up every morning. I'm like, All right, I'm going to do this. Then I'm going to do this. Then I swear I'm going to get this thing. That's why I try to do different things that I'm not necessarily great at. Not that I'm not great at, but that I don't have... In music, I can go in. I can work with anyone. I can do this. But yeah, making a cookbook, being in a TV show, I've never done these things. It's very interesting to me to start at the bottom again and just try to work my way up. It's fun. I love the climb. That's my favorite part about life. Even everything, in a relationship, when you meet that person at the very beginning, it's like, Oh, I got to make my way into their heart, and they have to make their way into mine. It's just all about, I don't know, getting there is always the best.

Then when you're there, I'm just like, All right. What else can I... I want to I want to get some. You know what I mean? When you're like, you do the music stuff and you get there and you're like... I think the only thing where you get there, and it just keeps getting better is in a relationship with someone. I think that's the only time you get there and you're like, Okay, this is cool. Every other time, I'm just like, Okay, cool. Let's go.

The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is an NAACP and Webby award-winning podcast dedicated to all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help Black women decipher how their past inform who they are today and use that information to decide who they want to be moving forward. We chat about things like how to establish routines that center self-care, what burnout looks and feels like, and defining what aspects of our lives are making us happy and what parts are holding us back. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care, and we'll see you there.

Do you lay awake scrolling at bedtime, or wake in the middle of the night and struggle to fall back to sleep? Start sleeping better tonight. I'm Katherine Nikolai, and my podcast, Nothing Much Happens Bedtime Stories to Help You Sleep, has helped millions of people to get consistent deep sleep. I tell family-friendly bedtime stories that train you to drift off and return to sleep quickly. I use a few sleep-inducing techniques along the way that have many users asleep within the first three minutes. I hear from listeners every day who have suffered for years with insomnia, anxiety at night time, and just plain old busy brain who are now getting a full night's sleep every night. I call on my 20 years of experience as a yoga and meditation teacher to create a soft landing place where you can feel safe and relaxed and get excellent sleep. Listen to Nothing Much Happens Bedtime Stories to Help You Sleep with Katherine Nikolai on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

I'm Jay Shetty, and on my podcast, On Purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah.

Everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it.

Kobe Bryant.

The results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters.

Kevin Hart.

It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change.

Lewis Hamilton.

That's for me, been taking moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself, because I think for a long time, I wasn't kind to myself.

And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing, you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in ours. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Join the journey soon. What do you think makes relationships different that makes you feel that way as opposed to music? Or anything else, any other achievement, not music?

Well, I've never been in a relationship the way that I've been in one with music because it's been a 30-year relationship. I have no idea what happens 30 years from now in a relationship. But I just feel like a relationship is all these other things I'm doing. There's so many tentacles. It's like you go this way and then you guys explore that together. You're exploring so It's basically anything I would explore in my life, I'm exploring with a partner. It's figuring out. You guys are figuring out things together. It's so cool when you have a partner that is I don't know. I just get the feeling it's awesome when you can have a partner that you look at and it's the end of the day and you're like, Oh, what did you do today? They tell you and you're like, That's so tight. You're like, I want to do more. When you can feed off of each just keep growing together, it's like every day is a new experience and you guys are facing different things together. I don't know. It's cool. I always tell my friend, I was just talking to my friend yesterday about this.

I was like, You always have to keep your work and life balanced. I was like, Because you can feel it in the music and art if you don't have love or you don't have something. I always tell them, I always feel that it's just like this. I have rules every day. I only work till a certain time. I make sure I... Like, cooking is very important to me and therapeutic, so I make sure I do that. It's like Xanax to me. I have all my things that I have to do to make that bound because I do push myself. I shove my head through that wall, just that drywall, if I had to. But at the same time, I try to do all the things. It's like, okay, every Sunday, I see my mom, no matter what, every single Sunday, I see my mom, Sunday at the exact same time. It doesn't matter if I stay up all night, I'll just go right into seeing her. It's just like we have a ritual we do. Then I have my ritual where I go and get my groceries at the Farmer's Market every weekend. There's just all these things that help keep you on track and grounded so you can keep doing what you're doing.

I'm sure you have things like that for yourself.

Absolutely. I mean, mind's similar. I call my mom at the same time every week because she's back in London where I was born and raised. I have the same time I call on the weekend. And yeah, there's certain things that have to be done that way. And same with you. And I have a certain time as well that I switch off from work and I'm not looking at my phone. I have a time in the morning of three hours of being awake before I'm doing any work. I have to take that time for myself. But what's interesting about what you're saying is that there's a myth, obviously, that the broken-hearted artist can pour into the music. But you're actually saying that if you have love in your life, that can also be felt through music.

Yeah. I think that at times it's good to have a broken heart, but it's also good. There's a time and place for everything. What time you wake up?

I wake up now at 5:30 AM.

What time did you wake up before?

Usually, it was like... This year has been different. This year, I've been really prioritizing 5:30, but up until last year, it's probably 6:00 to 6:30.

What time do you go to bed?

I go to bed at 9:00 PM now. Really? Yeah. I love my eight hours of sleep. Oh, wow. If I get into bed at 9:00, I'll be out by 9:15. Then if I wake up at 5:30, I'm at 8 hours and 15 minutes of sleep.

What are you doing in those first three hours?

Meditating for a lot of it. I'll wake up at 5:30, I'll be ready to sit down for meditation by 5:45. I'll meditate for an hour and a half. Then 7:15, I'll go for a hike or go to the gym. Or, yeah, usually a hike to the gym from 7:15 till about 8:15, 8:30, get ready. Then 9:00 AM, I'll take my first emails, meetings, all that stuff. I think you came at 10:00 today.

Yeah, hour and a half. Eleven. Hour An hour and a half, that's a good meditation. An hour and a half, how do you even stay focused?

Well, I think it's a good question. I always say to people that when I started, it wasn't one and a half hours. You start up with doing seven minutes, 20 minutes, 40 And what I found was just in the same way as if you go to a trainer at the gym, you'd hope that they work out more than you. So as someone who teaches meditation and helps people with mindfulness, I believe that as a trainer and as a coach, I have to do it for more time and deeper time, because otherwise, if I'm only doing it for seven minutes and I'm mentoring you and you're only doing it for seven minutes, then how will I ever have an experience to guide you deeper? And so I've been doing that since I was 18 now. So it's been a long time. And when I was a monk for three years, it was longer. And that's where I got that deepest experience of practice for it. So I feel like if I didn't have those three years of going really deep into the practice, I may not have the focus I have today.

You were a monk?

For three years, Like a real monk? A real monk.

That's insane. I've never met a monk.

I love to show you pictures.

I've never even met a monk.

Yeah, I love to show you. I'm not anymore. But yeah. How long? So you still haven't met a monk.

When was this?

This was 2010 to 2013. I was a monk across India, UK, Europe. I traveled between the three. I was a shaved head. I wore robes. I slept on the floor. We meditated for four to eight hours, sometimes a day. It was a deeper practice.

Standard eight hour. Eight hour meditation is crazy. When do you do anything else?

Well, sometimes you didn't. That was the point.

An eight hour meditation is wild. Isn't that sleeping?

Yeah, you can count it as the same.

We sleep for eight hours. The hardest part for me with meditating is that I instantly fall asleep. That's good. I can fall asleep very easily.

I'll tell you why, though. The reason why that happens during meditation or any practice of that sort is your body and mind are finally coming into sync. It's your body I'm saying, I need sleep right now. If you're falling asleep during meditation, it's not a bad thing. It's just you've literally... Because what's happening when you're not falling asleep is your mind saying, We got to do more. We got to do more. Then finally, when you become present, you fall asleep because your body's saying, I've done enough today.

Where do you do these meditations?

I have a little meditation room. I'll take you to afterwards.

I want to do a meditation with you. All right, we'll do it. I want to learn. There was a time in my life when I was going through rough patch and then I was going to therapy and I was meditating and stuff, and it actually helped me so much. Yeah, wow. It helped me.

What was that during? What were you going through?

When everything first started happening for me all at once, it was really overwhelming. For the first year or two, I was like, Oh, this is awesome. Then it really hit me because so many different responsibilities and people asking me for money. I just didn't grow up in a way. I didn't even imagine I was young when I made it. I didn't even realize about money. Then I'm like, Oh, my God. I have this. What do I do with it? Then it's like, I have all this success and people need things from me and people want. It was just too much. Where I grew up, I didn't... I don't know. I didn't go to therapy as a kid. I didn't know about any of that. I didn't know what anxiety was. I thought everyone... I was like, Oh, everyone. The room spins for everyone when you sit down and you're doing something. There were so many things I didn't understand, and I thought it was just my body, and I never talked to anyone about it. I was like, Oh, they're just things I learned to live with. I remember I just remember exactly where I was.

I was walking in to get a new cell phone, and I lost my mind. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I remember a week later, I went home to Virginia, where my mom was living at the time. I remember I was in the bathroom, and I was like, I can't do this anymore. I had this crazy feeling of anxiety that was crippling, and it was like, I couldn't do anything. I was in the bathtub, and I remember calling from her, and I was crying. I was like, I can't do this. I don't know what I can't even explain the feel. I didn't know how to articulate the words. I was like, I can't even explain what I'm feeling to you. I feel like I'm going crazy. In my family, some people have some issues, and I was always scared of myself falling into some similar things that are in my family, that run in my family. I just remember somebody got me to go to therapy, and they I met this guy, and he's my therapist today. Still to this day, he's been my therapist for almost 20 years. I remember I first went there and I had all these things.

I was like, I used to go and I'd have to hold my head like this. I was like, Oh, I can't let go of my arm because if I let go of my arm, my neck is going to fall off and I'm going to be paralyzed. I was so in deep and I never thought I was going to get out. I remember I started, I used to go six days a week, and then it was three days a week, then it was two days. Then It was one. It was CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. It's a type of therapy where you use your words. I didn't want to do medicine because I also had in my family, there's Some drug abuse and stuff. I was like, I don't want to do this with medicine. I want to figure out how to do it the right way. At that time, I wasn't. Now, I'm a workout fanatic. That's my new meditation. But before that, I was like, Well, how do I do this? My therapist recommended meditation to me, and he had this really easy way of doing it, and it was so easy. It wasn't even like anything specific.

He was like, It was the most basic form of meditation. I would do it either with a spoken word thing or he'd be like, Find the most calming music you like. He would just be like, No matter what, just every day, he was like, For 20 to 30 minutes, just sit down, put a pillow on your head, try not to be too comfy where you'll fall asleep, set a Timer, and just do it. I remember doing it, and at first it was impossible. When I was in my shit, it was impossible. Then eventually, I started looking forward to that time every day. It really just It helped me a lot. Then in 2018, it was probably a year or so, and this was probably 2009, maybe this was happening. Then I got back on track and everything was great. Then in 2018, I really working out became my new meditation. It was just a half to do it. It was so funny because I went so many years without doing it. I'm sure in your life, you went years without doing meditation. Now, what happens if you randomly... Do you ever miss one ever?

If you're sick- I'll catch up. I don't meditate at 5:30 every day. It's like, I'm It's not... I can't keep that up because I'm on planes. We're traveling. Our lifestyles don't allow it. I will be meditating in the evening. But what happens? The quality... Well, I find that for me, the quality dips. The last week was one of those weeks. I had three massively late nights in a row on the weekend because of events and parties and things and things that I was going to. And I couldn't wake up early. And then I still had a full day of work. Then in the evening, I was catching up with it. And I found that I didn't have the time and space that I need in order to feel really aligned. And what I mean by that is I can still operate. No one else will really notice the difference, but I notice the difference where I'm like, I feel like I have less energy today. I feel like I have less clarity today. And I feel like I'm not as aligned as the best word I can think of as I like to be. And so it doesn't really affect anyone else, but it does affect me.

And I know what level I can raise to, which is what you're probably saying when you're working out. When you miss a day of working out, how do you feel now?

Yeah. I thought of something when you were saying-Yeah, please. So you're seen as this guy who's like, mindfulness, health, this. Aren't you sometimes Do you feel like I have to be so perfect all the time?

It's so interesting you said that, Benny. I used to think that when I started out, that that's what I had to be. And then I've let go of that pressure personally. I let go I love that. I'm saying to you now, I don't wake up every day. I've already had to meditate. Sometimes I'm meditating on planes, in Ubers, on trains. Sometimes I'm doing it while I'm falling asleep. I'm okay with opening up about that because to me, that A, it's the truth. B, I hope that that actually helps people realize that they don't have to have the perfect regime every single day. Because I used to think that, and all I did was put more pressure on myself. I'd stress myself out. So I'm more comfortable today saying, I believe in meditation. I value mindfulness. I value all these things, but it doesn't look perfect in my life. And it won't in yours either. And it doesn't in anyone's. Whoever's life we think it looks perfect in is a myth.

Sometimes you get upset. You're a guy who's not allowed to get upset. Something happens. I find that sometimes- What do you know, Benny?

What are you trying to say? Yeah, exactly.

No, I find sometimes in work, when you get to the top of your field, people are only expecting a perfect... Say you're LeBron James. If you score 20 instead of 40 in the game, they're like, Oh, what What's happening in LeBron? It's this pressure that I know exists for people, and I just wanted to know about it.

No, I definitely have felt that pressure, and I think I've removed it from myself. That's what I realized, that ultimately, it was a pressure I was putting on myself. It wasn't actually from anyone else. It was me thinking, whereas if I was just honest and transparent and authentic with people, then all of a sudden the pressure's off, and I can also be a human because I am one. I think there's so much more of a joy in embracing our imperfections and flaws and recognizing that. It's even with coaching people, by the way, and I'm sure you feel this with music. When you're working with a artist to produce their album is like what I do with coaching clients. So coaching clients come to me and say, Hey, can we solve this problem? Whatever else it may be. Someone's coming to you saying, Hey, Benny, can you make this album with me? And before I used to think, God, if I don't say something profound in the first hour of meeting someone, then they're not going to think I'm worthy or valuable. And I started to realize I was like, that blocked me from saying something worthy.

It didn't allow me to be a channel or a vessel. I was now forcing some manufactured version. And even if I did, now I was just setting myself up for more pressure every time we met, rather than just having a flowing exchange with someone. How do you feel when an artist comes and says, Hey, Benny, I want you to produce my whole album? Where was the time it switched from pressure to just flow?

I never had pressure because I don't care. Because I treat every experience I'll be like this. Some people, when you get in the studio, there's something, or you're on a TV set, or you're on here, they're just like, Oh, we got to get it all done. We have to get this done today. We have to. For me, I'm just as happy if we were to come in. If I came into this podcast today and you were like, Hey, I'm sorry, the equipment's not working, then I'd be like, Oh, let's just chill, walk around your thing. Because that's what was meant to happen that day. I'm not stressing because you know what? Eventually, we'll get an interview or eventually, we'll We'll get a song. I'm a big procrastinator in work. When someone comes over, I'm like, You like to eat? What do you want to eat? You want to eat something? All that stuff is part of it. It's part of what's going to happen later. You know what I'm saying? Or let's say you have a client, someone like you're trying to get to the bottom or the root of a problem, you're going to have to disarm them and get them to chill.

Yeah, definitely. It's not going to happen through anything else. Do you have a set up process for every person, or do you really go with the flow with each individual?

This stuff got caffeine in it?

It has natural caffeine from tea.

I'll take a sip of it.

It's green tea.

Green tea is really caffinated, right?

Yeah, it's natural. You drink caffeine? Only in the tea form.

Only in the tea form? Yeah, I like that. I don't drink coffee. Only in the tea form.

As in I drink herbal tea and I drink this tea, but I don't... That's good. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. My wife and I put it together. It's all natural.

Go buy his drink. How do you come up with the name?

It stands for just you and I. It was a way of trying to bring people together through sharing a moment. How's the caffeine heading? Is that all right?

I'm taking a little sip. I don't drink caffeine at all.

Yeah, neither do I apart from tea.

Yeah, I don't drink. I'm not a caffeine person. I wake up and I'm ready to rip. Me too. I wake up, I pop out of bed. What time do you wake up? Early. Yeah? Yeah, 6:00, usually 6:10 to 6:30.

What gets you in the creative zone? You always cook it. Let's Let's talk about open wide for a second. Creativity, I think people look at you and they think, oh, he's musically creative, but then the rest of his life must be. But no, it's like you're creative in cooking, you're creative in music. Obviously, you're talking about relationships can be creative, too. Is it just something that was cooking always a passion?

Yeah, it's just like, do you cook at all or no?

I'm the exact opposite. Kitchen and cooking scares me. My wife is a plant-based chef and recipe developer. Really? Oh, my God. This is all she does.

Has she always cooked? Yes. Oh, my God.

She's loved it since she was... And she's a dietitian and nutritionist as well.

What's her name?

Radhi. Radhi is her name. R-a-d-h-i. Radhi.

Okay. Yeah, I got to see it. I'm obsessed with all that. One of my friends, the person who I wrote my book with, her name's Jess. She's predominantly a plant-based chef. She worked for Martha Stewart for years, and she's incredible. It's funny. My books are always crazy. I eat very healthy unless I'm being a naughty boy.

What's naughty?

How bad is naughty? Naughty is like you wake up and there's crumbs and glaze all over you. You don't even know what it is. But mostly, I'm pretty... During the week, because I lost a lot of weight. I lost 50 pounds.

Consciously?

Yes. Yeah. Honestly, at the beginning, I was going into a weight loss challenge because my brother had gained a bunch of weight. Then when I went and we did the DEXA scan thing, I was 33% body fat. I was like, Am I fat? I didn't even know that I was being unhealthy. Then that's when I started working out and I got obsessed with it. I wasn't necessarily trying to lose weight, but then once I did, I was like, Whoa, this is cool. I'm one of those people now... When I lost the first weight, it wasn't trying to lose weight. It was just trying to be healthy. Then I felt the feeling every time I went to the gym. I was like, Whoa, I have no I'm not thinking about anything else except what's happening. That was very rare for me. I was like, I got to chase this feeling. Then now, me and my friends, we do little weight loss challenges. We're like, Okay, whoever can lose the most weight in one month or whoever can do this. I like to challenge my body and my mind. How have you comfort zone? Yeah, I like to just push myself in any way possible.

But yeah, no, I eat... Do you eat pretty healthy?

Yeah, very.

Well, because of her, right?

Because of Because of her. Exactly.

If otherwise, you'd be like...

Before I met her, it was like pizzas, midnight burgers, fries. That's my favorite food.

What are you guys eating today? What did you eat today?

What did I have in the morning? I had like, avocado, mushroom toast in the morning.

Did you make it or she did?

No, she did.

If she's not in town, do you ever cook?

I'm ordering in, but I'm ordering healthy.

You're ordering healthy because you're scared she might be filming you.

Yeah, exactly. That's actually it. I'll say to my team, I'll be like, Guys, just let's order this because my wife's not around.

Yeah, you'll be a She's been a good influence on me because before I met her, I was addicted to sugar.

I was addicted to chocolates and ice creams. Some people have that. I had a massive... Because of my mom.

I don't have this sweet tooth.

That's lucky, man.

That's one of the worst. I'm much rather like a huge slice of bread or a taco. I really like one bite of a dessert. I always want- You're like my wife, that's it. I always want one bite. At the end of the day, I'll always have a date or something or a piece of fruit. I I love that, but I don't like the... I don't know. Occasionally, a cookie or something, if it's not too sweet. I don't like really sweet things. They make my stomach hurt. There's a few. I like... What's that thing when it comes It's like meringue? Pavlova. Because it's not too sweet. It's like light. Pavlova makes me-How did you curb your cravings for things you love?

When you're doing a challenge, how do you curb your cravings?

I just shut it off. I love I love a challenge. Just any challenge. If someone's like, I bet you can't walk 25 miles right now. I'm like, yes, I can, and I'll do it. I love that feeling of doing something. You have a group of people that you do. I do it with my friends. I work out with my friends. If I didn't have a trainer, I only pay. The only reason I see a trainer is because I'm so crazy that I would be like, I can't waste the money. I got to go. But if it was just up to me, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't be able to do it. It's just that someone's or my friends are like, Let's go to the gym. We got to go together and we work out together. Coming back to food, I like anything. I love community. I love hosting. There's nothing better to me than creating an experience for people. I don't care what the medium is. Creating some experience where when someone leaves, they're just like, Whoa, and they're telling all their friends. For me, it's just like, this is like looking to give someone an orgasm face at all times.

Every moment, because that's what it is. It's when someone tastes your food, they just open their mouth and they put in. You just want them to be like, Mmm. You just want that feeling. When someone plays a song, you want them to be like, Oh, my God, that thing is crazy. After you change someone's life and they can do a meditation where they can put their leg behind their head, they're just like, Oh, thank you. You brought me to a higher sense of being. That's what we're looking for. I'm always looking to make my friends happy. If someone comes to my house and they have a hamburger and they're like, I love this. This is my favorite hamburger. I know that. Then I'm thinking the next time they come, I'm like, Oh, I'm going to make sure they have that for them. My grandma, when I was a kid, one of my grandmas, she She was not wealthy by any means. She grew up in... Her place was in Section 8 housing, and we would go visit her. She had a lot of grandkids. If we went over there and one time we had a juni, and we were like, We love this.

It would be there every time we ever went. She had so many grandkids, so everyone had every single thing. She wouldn't eat for the week to make sure that everyone had their things because it made her so happy, the joy she would have when everyone was coming in and all the things were there. We'd be like, Oh, she has this. That's what I like to do. I love to create, whether it's the perfect napkin, the perfect meal, the perfect music playing at the same time. That's what I did with this book. I was trying to teach people how to have the perfect dinner party. That's brilliant. Because I was like, okay, some people, they might not know what to do. You're nervous in the kitchen. This is going to make it so sure, fire away. You want something easy that looks good? Great. You want to have a dinner party? Do you know what type of wine to serve? I don't know. Do you want to smoke weed with your people? Does weed make you anxious? Who knows? Is it midnight and you want everyone to leave because you got to wake up at 5:30 the next day, but you still want them to love you?

I'm going to teach you how to kick them out. I love that. It's that whole thing. It's just that moment of just getting a bunch of people together. I love getting people together that don't necessarily go together. It's like someone is a musician, and they're sitting next to a man who wrote a book. One time we were at my house, and I remember my mother was sitting here, and Siza was sitting here, and a man on the other side actually makes rocket chips that go to space. To me, it was just so cool to see them all talking and not caring about what was going on. There was no egos. Everyone's just having a good time. Food is the best social lubricant in the world because it's like you can immediately talk about something. You're like, Oh, you like food? It's just the automatic conversation starter. Yeah.

Next time you come over, we're going to have to do food for sure, because it's a big love language for my wife. She loves. That's her love language.

I want to cook with her.

Yeah. You guys would have a blush. She loves cooking, creating recipes, and also It's the same as the Ukraine community. It's actually funny to say that. I'm trying to think of a book that you just reminded me of that was based on a restaurant that did that. They recently converted it. It became Eleven Madison Park in New York. It was a restaurant that tried to give that level of That's so cool. That you feel in a home. Open Wide, your book, I love that it's not just a cookbook. I love that it's about how to build community. It's all of that. Because I think that's what people miss out on. We think that hosting is about all the fancy stuff, and it's like, it isn't.

Hey, it's Debbie Brown, and my podcast, Deeply Well, is a soft place to land on your wellness journey. I hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers in wellness and mental health around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your journey, from guided meditations to deep conversations with some of the world's most gifted experts in self-care, trauma, psychology, spirituality, astrology, and even intimacy. Here is where you'll pick up the tools to live as your highest self. Make better choices. Heal and have more joy. My work is rooted in advanced meditation, metaphysics, spiritual psychology, energy healing, and trauma-informed practices. I believe that the more we heal and grow within ourselves, the more we are able to bring our creativity to life and live our purpose, which leads to community impact and higher consciousness for all beings. Deeply Well with Debbie Brown is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply Well is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen a podcast. Big love. Namaste. On his new podcast, 6 Degrees with Kevin Bacon.

Join Kevin for inspiring conversations with celebrities who are working to make a difference in the world, like musical artist, Jewel.

And what an equal opportunist misery is. It doesn't care if you're Black or white or rich or poor or famous or homeless. If you are raised in misery systems, it's perpetual.

Kevin is the founder of the nonprofit organization 6degrees. Org. Now he's meeting with like-minded actors who share a passion for change, like Mark Ruffalo.

I found myself moving upstate in the middle of this fracking fight, and I'm trying to raise kids there, and my neighbor is willing to poison my water.

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It's not about any of that. The food... My godfather always said this thing. He would always say, When I was a kid, I never even understood it, but I so understand it now. He always used to say, We'd always figure out where we were going to dinner. And he goes, It doesn't matter. It's about the wrap. And we were like, What do you mean? He's like, It's just about the wrap. He's like, The only thing is just to get everyone together. If the food's great, that's awesome. But it's about hanging with your friends, laughing until you cry, falling in love with someone. I've had the opportunity to have dinners where so many things have happened to people. Someone's found the person they date. Somebody's started a company. Somebody's laughed so hard, they cry. That's what I'm trying to do. Do you have dinners with people?

It's one of my favorite things to host as well.

It's my favorite thing to do. I don't want to go out to a nightclub. I want to sit at home with my friends till 2:00 in the morning. Well, for you, you can't do that.

I can do that.

Now, what happens if you stay up late? Do you just self-combust? I stay up late. You combust?

No, not at all, man. I can stay up late. I just choose not to always do it because I love sleep.

When you were out late this weekend, what time were you out?

Probably get in the bed around 1:00 or 2:00. Okay.

Then what time do you sleep till?

Oh, no. The problem was I was still waking up because my body clock so wired that I was still up at the same time.

No matter what, I wake up at 6:00 in the morning. No matter when I go to bed. I don't go to bed as early as you, though. In my dream world, I go to bed at 11:30, 12:00, and then I wake up at 6:00, 6:30. Then on the weekends, I really don't sleep a lot, but I don't need a ton of sleep. But I know I'm sure you're going to say that's terrible for you.

No, not at all, man. I'm not going to say anything's terrible. It works for you.

But I should be getting more sleep, right?

I mean, scientists say 7-9 hours a day.

What else do scientists say?

Exactly. I don't know. But that's what I'm saying.

But yeah, my whole family.

I need eight. I know I need eight, and I can survive on... I can do five on six or five if I needed to.

I love. I love it. I love it. Six and a half is my-Is your sweet zwar? Yeah, chef's kiss. Anything over seven, I feel strange.

That's good, though. But then don't follow it. Seven, don't push it. I I think that's a big part of it, too. My wife talks a lot about this, this idea of being able to listen to your body. And I feel like so many of us are like, God, I got to wake up at 5:30 now because Jay said he wakes up at 5:30, or I got to wake up at 4:00 because Elon Musk wakes up at 4:00. Or Benny said he wakes up at 6:10. So whatever it is. And it's like, well, creativity is not based on those things. That's just what works for your body and your mind. This is what works for my body and my mind. But you seem to have a lot of, not just community, but you seem to have a lot of the same people around you, loyal friends. That seems to be a big part of your... How have you continued to be able to build that as you grow and make it? It sounds like all your friends love challenges and growth because a lot of people who are listening sometimes feel their friends are not wanting to grow.

They're not wanting to try new things.

But it's so fun. You do it. Some people I've pushed to that, and some people have pushed me in other ways. That's what it's all about. To me, I've just had some of my friends for so long because it's hard to find people that are on your... I think it's harder and harder as you get older. A lot of my friends, most of my friends I knew since I was young. Then I have a new friend for me is five years. I'd be like, Whoa, this is one of my new friends. Most of my friends are 8, 10, 20.

Do they live in the city, too, or no?

All different places. Some of my friends have very regular jobs. Some of them I only get to see once or twice a year in person because of their job. My friend was just out here. He comes every year for a month and a half towards the end of the year because he's a therapist and he works in Virginia, and he can't really travel that much. Then we get to see each other then. Then my other friend, his wife is becoming a doctor, and they've had to have residencies in all these other places. He works for Capital One or something, and We don't get to see each other in person very often. But when we do, it's like we saw each other yesterday. We talk all the time. Then some of my friends are in the same world as me, so they get it. Some of them are in entertainment. I just love bringing... My friend group is very eclectic. It's all different types of people. I love putting people that wouldn't normally be in a room together in a room to see what happens.

What's the randomest, too? Is it the person building rocket ships and then your mom and then Cesar?

It's just people... It's very common for me to go out to dinner and have one person be 22, and then the next person be 70. That's not... And Having it not be someone's mom or dad. Having it just be someone that's my friend. Because I've met so many... I'm very interested in people. I love meeting creative people, whether that means they're creative professionally, whether creative in their mind, whether they... I just love that feeling of getting into a conversation with someone.

I also think multi-generational friendships are so powerful. I was talking to someone about that. Me and my wife have a couple of friend of ours, and they're in their late '60s, and they're some of our favorite people to hang out with. I feel like I learn so much, I grow so much, I gain so much perspective. They've lived 30 years more life than I have. I think It's so interesting how we may spend time with our parents, but we're not necessarily having friends that are in a different decade of their life, but how powerful it can be to be with someone.

A lot of people don't even know their parents like that. Even if you're close with your parents, how close are you with your mom?

I'm pretty close to my mom, yeah.

Okay. But you don't know. There's so many things you don't know about her. You don't know how she felt the first time she got her heart broken. You don't know if she ever cheated on someone. Sometimes for me, I'll sit my mom down and I just ask her, I'm like, What drugs have you taken? I'm like, How did it make you feel? Because my parents got divorced. I was like, How did you know you wanted to get divorced? What did you feel? I always... I try to do that because one of my friends started recording his dad when his dad got sick. He asked him every question he ever wanted to ask him because it is so crazy. You're so close to this person that you We really don't know. We really don't even know our parents that well because you don't ask them those type of things, and no one does. It's also that time where I remember your parents gospel is just the end all be all when you're a kid. Then all of a sudden, you're 15 or 16, you're like, Wait, you're just a human. That was a mess up on you.

You just lied. I caught you in that lie. But until you're 15 or or 16 or something, you can't even fathom that. Then you realize it's cool. I'm so thankful that I get to talk to my parents and my family now as an adult and be like, Yo, what were you feeling like when you went through this? How did you raise us like that? And is it so hard to do this? It's cool. I like that feeling.

Yeah, I did something similar a few years ago. I felt that way with the podcast where I was learning about people I'd never met. So we were celebrating my sister's 30th birthday. So it was me, my mom, and my sister, my younger sister. And I just started interviewing my mom at dinner. And we didn't record it. It was just us three. And I learned so much. So my mom was studying for her exam, and I while because she was born and raised in Yemen, while there were Yemen soldiers fighting British soldiers on her roof. That's great. And I was like, I had no idea. And she just casually drops that as if it's like normal. And I'm like, Mom, you realize that's not normal?

You should interview your mom. You need to interview-I've been thinking about it.

It's been on my mind.

Interviewing your family is so crazy.

Yeah, because you're right. I think everyone... I would love to do it because I want everyone to do it. My wife was my first ever guest on the show. Really? Yeah, because that was a big part of it for me. I feel like you're so right. We don't really deeply know our family. We think we know them. We think we know them. We assume that we know them.

Yeah, I used to do this thing on my... Well, I still do it on all of my albums where the last song on my album has a spoken word section. It's over instrumental of each person in my family. And so far, I did my mom and my dad, and I asked them all these questions. It's crazy to know the... Because basically, I asked them questions for an hour, and then I take the best 30 seconds. Both my parents I wound up talking the most about their divorce. It was so interesting to see both sides of it because I have now forever in time, I have my mom's version and my dad's version. Then I'm putting out a new album and I interview my brother for his version of it now. That's beautiful, man.

Yeah, it's fun. That's really special.

It's fun. It's emotional and it's like, whoa. It's cool to hear everyone's side of an event. What did you...

Yeah, I think you're so right because, yeah, we often think there's only one truth and one story, and then all of a sudden there's three. What was the biggest thing you learned from hearing your mom and dad's version of divorce? What was something that surprised you or something you were like, wow, I did not recognize that when I was growing up?

I think that it made them both better people to get out of the relationship. I think at first it seemed like my parents were not fans of at first. It was crazy. But now they're friends. I mean, they haven't been married for 20 something years. But now we all go to dinner together and go on vacation. But it wasn't always that way. It's cool to see where it started to where it is now. I do think me and my brother were a big... Our success was a big catalyst on getting together because it forced us to get together. No, it's cool. I don't know. Life is so crazy. The way you meet people and the way people come in and out of your life and someone you may not even really know could become your wife or someone that you despise could become your best friend. It's very interesting how life plays out. I find that more and more as I get I get older. My mom always used to be like, she'd be like, When you get older, you're going to... I used to be like, What are you taught? But it's so true.

Just like, over and over again, I'm learning something new every day.

Yeah, it's so true, man. Benny, I could I wanted to talk to you for hours, genuinely. We could go on and on and on. But I wanted to make sure, is there anything that we haven't talked about before we go to the final five, which is the way we end in the interviews? Is there anything we haven't talked about that you really wanted to touch on that's on your heart or mind or something that- What's your five What's that? Yeah, we can do that. We'll start with that. What is that? It's a final five that we end every interview with of all time.

It's the same question?

It's the same. Well, same four questions. One of them I usually play with. Same three or four questions. And one of them I usually play with for the person. These are your final five. They have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

Oh, my God.Yeah..

Then I may ask you to go on because I usually break my rule. But here we go. All right. Penny Balca, these are your final five. The first question is, what is the the best advice you've ever heard or received?

Don't be afraid to fail.

Who told you it and how have you practiced it?

I can't remember who told me it, but I- But someone did tell you it. It wasn't something that came from it. No, somebody told me it. But I will tell you this. I always say this to someone because people come up to me all the time and they're just like, Oh, man, you don't miss. You did this. You did that. I'll talk to someone. One of my friends was going through a hard time recently. It was like his first failures. I remember talking to him and I said, You don't think I failed a million times? I said, You look at someone like Michael Jordan. He's taking so many shots. He's missing So many shots. Do you remember any of those? No. You remember him swishing it and walking back with his tongue out? Nobody's sitting there being like, Jay, I saw that back in 2008, that rap career didn't really work out for you. No, they're like, Jay, wow, every get, you got Michelle Obama on you. I always tell people, it doesn't matter. Don't be afraid to fail. Nobody's even going to remember it. If someone's literally tallying your failures, they're a psycho.

Well said, man. No one remembers the misses. No. No one remembers the misses. If you keep going. Yeah, if you keep going. But if you stop at the miss.

But you got to keep going, babe.

Yeah, you got to keep going. Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

I was going around playing my music for people, and I had just switched my style up because I originally made music that sounded like I was copying Timberland, sounded like I was copying Pharrell, sounded like I was trying to be someone else. I remember I had just made music that didn't sound like anything. It sounded so weird. It was so different. It wasn't like what was going on. I remember I went into a meeting and someone was like, Nobody makes music like this. They're like, You got to fit in more. That just made me go the opposite way. Then I was like, Now I know I got to do the crazy stuff. Because at least I just want someone, when I used to go in and play music, for them to be like, I've never heard anything like this. This is so weird. This is not going to work. Because when everyone likes something, usually, that means it's not going to work. When some people are unsure about something, that's when it's usually going to work. I don't know, someone told me to I fit in more, and I didn't really vibe with that.

That's a great answer. I think it's so interesting. When you're young, everyone tells you to fit in, and when you get older, everyone says stand out. It's like, Well, wait a minute. I had to wear uniform. I had to come in on time, and now all of a sudden, I've got to find who I am. It's such a contradiction. Of course. Yeah, great answer. All right. Question number three. What's something that you used to value that you no longer value?

Success. I used to really care about getting that number one song, getting that thing. I feel like I did everything I wanted to do. Now, I feel like everything's like the cherry on top of the Sunday now. I'm just having so much fun trying new things. Of course, I want them to be successful and stuff. But I don't have... I do still work and have a drive and want to do it, but I want to do it more for me and less for other people. I I used to want to do it because I was like, I have to be number one. I have to be the best in the world. I have to be this. Now I just get to wake up and I'm like, Okay, I already did the things I want to do. I want to make a cookbook. I want to do it. I want to do this, and I really want it to be the best, and I want it to be awesome. But it's something that I want to do, and I'm putting that pressure on myself. It's not for other people anymore. I don't know. I always had a strange feeling with success, too.

I was always ashamed of it for some reason, or I'd be like, Oh, I don't deserve that. I'm probably going to get cancer now because I did well. I don't deserve this. Somebody else deserves this more.

How did you overcome that, though? Because I think a lot of people feel that way. People are coming to money, fame, even a bit of success, and we start going, oh, crap, this wasn't meant to be.

It's still there for me. I still have that feeling a little bit, a little bit of the imposter syndrome. But it's so funny because I'm so confident at the same time. But sometimes I do have that feeling where I'm just like, why do I deserve this? What did I do? And there's so many more people who are more talented. And I'll start questioning stuff like that in my head.

Yeah. And you're still working through that? Yeah, every day.

We're working through everything. And the success thing, It's not fully let go, but it's something that I catch myself more and more just really wanting to do the things because it's not a competition always anymore. It used to be such a competition with me in my head with that. I try to find other things that are competitions and competitions that are friendly and there's not a huge thing at the end of the tunnel for it.

Beautiful. Question number 4, what's something that you think you learn from your parents relationship that affects your relationships moving forward? Something that you'll take as a lesson on what to do or what not to do?

I don't think my parents listen to each other. I think all relationships, whether it's romantic business, friendships, you just have to listen to each other. It's the easiest thing in the world. It just be a listener. It's okay to be wrong. That's also another thing that I've really come to terms with. It's like, I always would find myself wanting to be right about the thing, wanting to be this. It almost makes you look better if you're like, You know what? I was wrong. And stop trying to defend the thing to the end that you know you're wrong about. It's like, I was wrong. I was wrong. Then everyone's happy. If you If you're like, I was wrong, I messed up. I messed up. Instead of trying, it's like putting shame around being wrong. It's okay to be wrong. It's okay to fuck up sometimes.

I think that's great. Listen, it's okay to be wrong. Yeah, it's okay to be wrong. Fifth and final question, Benny, we asked this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

I wish there was a world where everyone I just wish people could find a way to just fit in and just not be... It's okay to get upset sometimes. I just wish people could talk things out and find a way to love each other and find... I don't know, find a way to live together It just killed me. It's so hard for me to ever watch any of the news. It's just like, oh, I'm like... It just crushes me watching people fight and people... Violence. I'm like, Oh, I'm It's crazy. I don't understand. I just don't even understand. I don't know people for someone to do something so bad, to an innocent person. Anytime I see things like that, I just don't understand. In my ideal world, I don't even know if it's a law. I don't know. People just be nice to each other and just be caring and considerate and understand that it's okay to not be the same as somebody else, and it's not have the exact same opinion as somebody else, but you guys can coexist and live. I don't know. I always have these idealistic thoughts in my head, and it's very hard to create those because we're so far gone as a planet.

I don't know. I don't There's so much greed and there's so much... I don't know. I've always been just happy, whether it was I had a lot of money or no money. I've always found that when me and my friends listen to each other and work together and talk things out, But like, nothing can go wrong. And if it does go wrong, then you talk about it and you make it better. And I don't know. What's the best law you heard someone say?

Oh, that's a good question. I think a lot of people share the sentiment that you're saying I think a lot of us feel like that. We want to live in a more just, happier, loving, world. I think two that stand out to me, Daniel Kaluya came on. He's the guy. So Daniel came on, and he said that For everyone that you judged or criticized, the law would be that you'd have to then, whoever you judge and criticize, you'd have to go live as them for a day or a year or something like that. Oh, I like that one. It was like a fixed thing. Then Trevor Noah had one. His one was there'd be a rule that every day someone's bank balance in the planet could go to zero. It could be you, your friend, your family member, and how differently you'd behave with people knowing that that could be you one day. It could be your mom, it could be your dad, it could be your friend. That way you'd be more conscious of what it would feel like to be around people who don't have a lot.

I changed mine. Free weed for everyone. That's the love? Yeah, that's my new one. No, that's great. That's a good one. Those are good.

Is weed and unlocks your creativity? Does it make you anxious? As you were mentioning for other people earlier.

I love smoking weed. Are you allowed to? No, you're not allowed. I don't. You don't do anything.

Not that I'm not You don't do anything.

You ever have a sip of alcohol?

No, not anymore.

When did you quit? When you were a monk?

Fifteen years ago? Yeah. Fifteen, 16 years.

What do you do? What's your wild thing?

My wild thing is I'm a I know.

No, I'm just kidding. No, what is it?

I guess my wildness comes. I'm super competitive. If I'm playing a sport that I'm good at- No, come on.

I'm competitive. What's your vice?

My vice is sugar, man. It's taking me forever. Sugar? Yeah, literally. Yeah. My vice is sugar. My vice is I like to work hard. My vice is- But you don't have anything. So you don't have- No, it's not that I don't have anything. I've worked on it hard for years and years.

So no drinking, no weed, no psychedelics, no- No.

I saw your eye glimmer a little. I'm always open to exploring anything that would... I mean, weed was something that I did a lot in my teens, so it's not something I've never done.

I want to know the teen you. The teen you was wild.

Yeah, the teen you was wild. I think that's what it is. Growing up in London, too, you start drinking very early. You start playing around with drugs and stuff very early. And so we just had access to a lot of things. So I feel like it's not that I don't... It's that I've done a lot in my teens. And so it's not that I have a... Again, and I have nothing against it. I think I'm always open to things that have medicinal or healing benefits. So I've always been open. A lot of my clients will do MDMA, do Iboga, do ayahuasca. And so I'm very familiar with these things. And I'm always working alongside clinical neuroscientists that I take advice from for my clients and clients' own exploration. I'm very aware and like to be educated more and get more experience. But I would do it if I felt there was healing that could reward me with, for sure. I'm very open to anything that has healing powers.

You take any supplements?

I take 20 supplements a day.

All right, let's tell me about the supplements.

I'll show you my drawer later. It's like, literally 20 tablets a day, but it's like B12, Magnesium, D, C, G, K, probiotics, gut supplements, creatine.

Why do you take them all?

Because I really do feel a difference.

Why do you take creatine? That's from the '80s.

Yeah, but it works. What's really interesting is that I work with... We've had the doctor that I work with on the show. His name is Dr. Shah. He runs Next Health. Okay. Next Health basically will do the deepest blood tests and give you like-Oh, yeah.

You do that thing where you have a bowl of pills you got to take. It's like a packet every day. Yeah.

And you get all your biomarkers. You get everything. And what I found is that different body types can't digest certain things. My body can't get the nutrients from certain things. I have to eat different proteins. I'm also plant-based. So the supplement supplements provide me with all the missing nutrients.

Were you feeling bad before you did this?

When I wasn't taking all the supplements, I was feeling more tired more easily. I was like, why am I tired? Because I work I sleep well, I meditate. Why am I tired?

What type of tired?

Just a feeling of lethargy or fatigue at the end of the day, but a tired that I didn't like. I realized that so vitamin D is meant to be at 60 is safe, 100 is ideal. I was at 10. People always say, But you live in LA, you get enough vitamin D. It's not true. You've got to be out in the sun naked for four hours a day to get enough vitamin D, especially with my color of skin. And so for me to take vitamin D is non-negotiable. And for most people are low in vitamin D. And so my doctors, my nutrition was saying, Jay, your vitamin D levels means you should be depressed. I was like, I don't feel depressed. I'm just tired. And she was just like, well, if you change that, it will make a massive difference. And it did. And so I think a lot of people, a lot of the times we think we're struggling mentally, but a lot of it's chemical and biological and physical. What you're saying with working out? It's a physical shift that's changed your mindset. And we can get in our head and, oh, God, why am I tired?

Is there something wrong with me, maybe I'm stressed. And it can be that. Of course, it can be that. But sometimes it's chemical and physical.

So you take 20 supplements.

I'll show you. I'll show you my little pill drawer.

Do you do any other things? No, that's it. Do you drink any other tinctures through the day that you have to- No.

Well, creatine, I have to mix it in and then- But why do they have you do creatine? That's for me to digest a particular nutrient for my digestion to be good. I also take- Do you have trouble?

You have a bad stomach?

Not a bad stomach. I think that when I went completely plant-based, which I always tell people, if they're making that transition, I always tell people to do it slowly. I did it overnight. When? Eight years ago, when I married my wife, I was vegetarian, but I became plant-based as soon as I married her. I think that my gut reacted poorly to that quick transition. And so whenever anyone's talking about being plant-based or eating healthy, I'm always like, Do it slowly because your body's just used to a habit, whether it's good or bad. And now I feel great, but it was a transitionary period for sure. So I do that. And then I have vinegar before meals because that regulates the acid internally. So that's mix a shot of vinegar with diluted in water Do you take a lot of protein a day? Yeah, I take a lot of protein, but a lot of protein meals, but like natural forms of as much as I can.

What's your natural protein?

Well, I'm doing a lot of lentils and dals. The Indian diet generally leads well to that stuff. Then I will do things like tofu, which, of course, and then not so natural forms of protein as well. I found these amazing bagels that are protein filled, that are plant-based. They're amazing. Things like that, just to stock up. But I found that eating protein every day has made a big difference. The amount of protein that we don't have in our diet is insane. I'm not a pro at this. We've had doctors who've come on the show and really educate people.

You're supposed to eat a gram of protein per a pound.

Yeah. And you realize you're like, nowhere close. Even if you're eating meat, it's hard. Yeah. And so what to speak of anyone who's plant-based. Benny, this has been a joy and honor. I hope we do a part two. I love it. I hope there's dinners. I hope there's so much more in the works with this-I can't wait. Relationship. But I appreciate you, man. Thank you so much. You took us on a whole journey today, and I felt like we got a peek into your mind, which is always my favorite thing to do. Thanks. I want everyone to know Open Wide is available right now, so make sure you go grab it. We'll put the link in the caption in the comments and wherever you're viewing. Of course, if you don't follow Benny on social media already, please go and follow him across platforms. And, Benny, thank you so much for showing up for On Purpose today. So grateful and deeply appreciate, man.Thank.

You, man.Yeah.

Thank you. If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.

Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value. As an artist, if you like it, that's all of the value. That's the success comes when you say, I like this enough for other people to see it.

I'm Jay Shetty, and on my podcast, On Purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Lewis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in ours. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Join the journey soon.

Hey, it's Stephie Brown, host of the Deeply Well podcast, where we hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your well-being journey. Deeply Well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply Well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen a podcast. Namaste. Our 20s are often seen as this golden decade, our time to be carefree, make mistakes and figure out our lives.

But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Gemma Spegg, the host of The Psychology of Your 20s. Each week, we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences. The Psychology of Your 20s, hosted by me, Gemma Spegg. Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.