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Podcasts. Let's be honest. Life is stressful. It's work, it's relationships, and the state of the world. But there's a way to bring that stress level down, Calm. It's the number one app for mental wellness with tons of content to manage anxiety, promote concentration, and help you unwind. There's music, meditation, and more. Calm makes it easy to destress. You can literally do a one minute breathing exercise. Personally, I love the soundscapes. Nothing like a little rain on leaves to help soothe my nervous system. I've actually been working with calm for a couple of years now, and I'd love for you to check out my series on reducing overwhelm. Eight short practices, quick relief. Right now, listeners of On Purpose get 40 % off a subscription to Calm Premium at calm. Com/jay. That's C-A-L-M. Com/jay for 40 % off. Calm your mind, change your life. Join Radhe and I for a special On Purpose episode today with BMW. Radhe and I love taking road trips together, and today we get to take you on a drive in the all-electric BMW IX. First ever episode in a car together. I know, have fun. We love going on road trips, and I thought today we just do a little spin.

We do some good little chats.

Yeah, find a nice look out point, enjoy the sunset. You know, I'm a romantic. I'm a hopeless romantic. I've got questions next to you. Amazing. The team chose these questions.

Let's dive in. What is something you would ask my opinion of?

I would ask your opinion of what's good for my health. I'm like, okay, I want a dessert. What should I eat that's healthy? I would ask your feedback on I've been doing this workout. I'm not sure I'm feeling good for me or bad for me. How should I change it up? I would ask for your opinion of I want to feel like this in the morning or this in the night or I've got a headache, what should I do that's natural and a remedy that's going to help straight away? My gut's not feeling so well. What's the change I could make that will make me feel better? I think I ask your opinion of me sometimes as a person. I find it really reassuring and it means the world to me when I know that you love me and you appreciate me and that you value me. I think that means a lot to me because I really value your opinion because I think that you are an amazing person and I think that you have a really good moral character and are a very honest, genuine person. And so when you think good things of me, I think that if I have a choice or a decision I'm making, if I'm sharing something or writing something or thinking about something, I always like getting your opinion because I feel that if I've checked it through with you, then it will be authentic and deep.

Oh, thanks. There's a good amount of stuff.

There's more. There's so much more I'd ask your.

Opinion of. I would ask you for advice on people. Like if I've got some discrepancy with people or I'm feeling a certain way about someone, I know you'll give me a really honest opinion about both sides, like you're someone who doesn't really take sides about things, which I really appreciate. You see it as the actual situation versus who's involved. I ask you about some of my fashion things, even though sometimes we don't see eye to eye. I'll get your opinion, because may not take it all the time, but I will still get the opinion. Got it. I would ask you about every time I need any motivation or I'm feeling like I'm lacking in trying to get through my day or figure out what I should do next. You're so good at figuring out step by step of turning something that feels so big into manageable steps and achievable things. I appreciate that. That's really great for me because I feel like I always make things really big in my mind, and you really help to break it down. You're like, Actually, let's strip it all back. This is actually what you need to do.

I would ask your opinion about our work stuff. It's just such a beast in terms of work and constantly reminding me to go back to a deeper intention. I think that's what's so important. It's less about you're obviously so good at what you do, but even deeper than that, I feel like the motivation and the intention behind it is what you always remind me of, and so I definitely ask your opinion on whether something feels right or wrong, because I think you're always quite aligned with intention. There's just a few that come to mind.

Thank you. Thanks so much. I really appreciate that.

What is something you wouldn't ask my.

Opinion of? I think what I avoid now asking your opinion of sometimes is my fashion choices. -fashion.

For sure, we.

Definitely get from that. -because I think I've become quite adventurous. You have. And I quite enjoy pushing the boundaries, trying new silhouettes and shapes. And to me, it's all about I feel like I get to express myself. It's your self-expression, yeah. I feel like creatively, I also get to push my own limits. When I'm like, Oh, that's what I thought worked. And now I'm able to open my mind up to a new shape, a newa new color, a new space. And I enjoy that not just in fashion, but in all areas of life. I think I get scared sometimes because I do also want you to think I look cool. But obviously some of the stuff I try sometimes is.

Pretty out there. Yeah, and I want to be honest, but I still think you should do everything. For me, it's more you should do whatever makes you feel happy- Which is why I still feel happy. -that you want to do, but then I'm not going to tell you I like something if I don't. Totally. Which I appreciate. The no asking is probably the best route to.

Go with you. Because I'm using so much of my confidence to pull it off that then if I ask your opinion, then you don't like it. It's like, that's really hard because I already know. Because it's already had to push me.

Out my confidence. But I always say, I don't like it, but you should wear what you like. You should wear what you feel comfortable in. You should wear what you make you happy because if you don't feel comfortable or happy in what you're wearing, then doesn't matter who likes it. It really makes no difference. I think it should be a personal expression. I think it's so cool that you express yourself in that way, and I think it's cool that you feel free to do that.

I believe you have to have- -different people for different things. -different people in your life for different things. I completely agree. I recommend everyone does this activity where you write down every need you have in your life. You match that to a person in your life. And if you have a gap, often what ends up happening is you expect that of your partner, or you expect that of your sibling, or you expect that of your parent, rather than going, Well, let me be proactive and take responsibility for finding the person that solves this gap. Let's say you're like, Oh, I don't have someone to go roller skating with. For example, because I know you love roller skating. I do. It's like, Okay, well, let me go and find that person, because I'm horrific at roller skating and it's an acquired taste, right? It's a specific interest that other people may not be talented or skilled at, just like I like playing football and you don't. I think finding that person is really important.

You're using, You know what I really like about this car? It does this. You can use hand gestures to do things. But for what? But you're moving your hands around because you're an expressive talker, but basically it does everything from like you can use, which is cool because you don't have to press buttons, but it does it to change songs and stuff. But because you're so expressive, it's doing things without even knowing. Tone it down.

Yeah, what was your thing that you would-.

That I wouldn't come ask your opinion of? I know you're good with solutions, so if I don't want a solution and I just want to fend, I'm going to probably won't come.

To you. That's so good. I probably- Oh, but I want you to.

Feel comfortable about it. No, not like that. I'm just half-joking. But yeah, I know that sometimes if I don't want a solution, I just want to like-.

I know you can always tell me that. You can always come to me and say, Look.

I don't want a solution. Totally. Well, that's what I'm not asking you opinion on. I probably won't ask your opinion about food. Definitely not. I like sometimes asking other people to pick for me, but then you don't enjoy doing that either. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I think there's a good selection, really.

What is there in your life do you think that you have a need that you haven't found the person yet? What is it that you would think you'd need on a weekly, monthly basis in your life? And you're like, You know what? I don't have that friend yet. Or I haven't built that relationship. I haven't proactively figured that out.

I have friends to work out with. I have friends that I can call just the pastime with. I have friends to have meaningful conversations with. I have friends to do spiritual activities with. Not necessarily as much here as I do in London, but still.

Yeah, that's.

For me as well. I have my mom for a lot of stuff. She takes a lot of boxes. You tick a lot of boxes. My friends, I don't know. I don't know. I feel like.

Anythingthat's good then. No, but that's a complete life.

That's good. I feel like my sister takes a lot of boxes.

For me. No, but that's good. That's a good.

Place to be. -i want my niece and nephew for some fun and silly convos.

I've been looking for a competitive FIFA friend.

Oh, yeah.

You have. I need a competitive FIFA friend. You do. Like someone who really gets me to become better.

I miss having a friend that just comes and sits and does nothing with me. I like having friends like that sometimes. We just exist together. Maybe take naps together, maybe just watch something, but don't have to talk together. Right, got it. Yeah, a lot is said, but just nothing is actually said.

Got.

It. I like friends like that. Next question. Oh, and a friend who really likes watching reality TV show because there's my little secret indulgent pleasure thing where I just like switching off and I haven't quite found a friend who likes sitting and binge watching reality TV. If we had to switch roles for a day, what's the first thing you do as me?

Meditate and work out. Yeah. Those are the two non-negotiables in Radhi's life.

That have the last 10 years. I would.

Be late for everything, but I will not be late for work out. The things you'll never be late for is a workout and meditation. She's always there. It's amazing. It's really impressive.

Physically though.

Sometimes not mentally. It's impressive, though. I think it takes a lot of dedication to have a non-negotiable. I think it's amazing that your non-negotiable habits are so important because they set you up for the rest of the day. They really do. And it's like if you compromised on those two things, could you imagine what life would be like?

No, I think I'd struggle going through the day without it. And I.

Think what's really amazing is that you having those non-negotiables has inspired me to have similar non-negotiables, especially with working out, in a way that I don't think I would have had if someone forced me to, if someone preached me to do it, if someone made me do it. When I see you dedicated every single day to your workout, whether it's a weekday, whether it's a weekend, whether it's two work out a day, I look at that and go, Okay, got it. That's a really great discipline.

Yeah, it's nice having things that you really appreciate in your life that you don't feel like you need breaks from. I feel like they're few and far between because it doesn't ever seem like you're working. It's just like part of your being, and it's the person that you are on-screen, off-screen with friends, with family. I don't see a difference in that because that is just what you absolutely love doing. It's like your full nature to be there. And so those non-negotiables come because you just feel and see the deep impact that it has on you, and then you just know that I just know I'm not going to have a great day. Even if it's not crazy workouts, even if it's just a walk or movement, it's just so important. And I always see movement as mind movement, body movement, both equally so important. And I think meditation is great mind movement, and walking or workouts is great body movement, but both of them help with your emotional wellbeing, your physical wellbeing, your communication just gets things flowing.

Yeah, there's an amazing Zen teacher that says what movement does for your body, mindfulness does for your mind, or meditation does for your mind. I love that. What was the question there?

If it's just roles for a day, what was the first thing you do as me? As you, I would go on a Facebook Live. Facebook? Or like an Instagram Live, whatever, and I would fully start acting out, just things you wouldn't say, things you wouldn't do.

Yeah, this is more like Freaky Friday.

That's the point. Yeah, I would dress crazy and I would... Oh, you know what I do? I would get people to just realize how wacky and fun you are, because sometimes people don't see that. Got it. You know what? You'd go into work and I'd be like, you know what? Today, guys, we're not going to work today. We're just going to sit around, cook something, have a little chat.

Now I want to answer that question back for you because that's a fun one. Go on then. Yeah. It's so beautiful here. Look at this. -that's just amazing. Unbelievable. I love these look out points in L. A. They're really special.

-so nice.

They're really special. Just to open up the mind. I love how you can just pull up and find a spot and really take it all in. It's really so beautiful. It is. It's so nice.

Okay, go and ask the question for me then?

What would I do as you? I like your answer for me. If I woke up as you, Freaky Friday, what would I do? I think I'd go do, I'd test out all the things. I think you have so much talent. I think you have just so much potential. I think you're one of the most entertaining people in the world. Not singing. Everything apart from singing and dancing. Like sleeping. Yeah, you're good at singing. I'm a choreist. Everything apart from singing and dancing. Like sleeping? Yeah, you're good at sleeping. I'm a careerist. Everything apart from singing and dancing. I would literally just... That's what I would do. I would just go and do everything that I think I know you have the hidden potential for. That's fun. -because you're just so talented. Give me an example of one thing. I can't wait to see you host a TV show. I can't wait to see you write more books. I can't wait to see you-.

I'll let you write a book for me.

I would do that as you. But I just see you traveling across the world, studying cultures, teaching that culture, passing it on through TV, through film, through movies. You could act. You could do whatever you wanted. You're so talented. You could be great at that. I'd try and do all of those things.

On a hard day, what is the thing you will do to make each other start laughing immediately?

That's a good question.

I'll start doing my Indian accent or.

Dancing or something. Dancing. I still remember that video. Do you remember? I don't know. Do the baking.

Do the baking. Do the baking. Yeah, I do remember.

It was so good. One day, this is before Radhi ever made content and people were unaware, she randomly started doing this dance and I filmed it for fun. I was like, You have to post this because it is just pure joy. You posted it, and I remember everyone loving it too. It was just like, yeah, you can literally burst out into dance or make a funny face. You can make me laugh very easily. Very easily. If I was trying to make you laugh, I'd put on an outfit I love. I wouldn't laugh then. I would try and help you cook.

That makes you laugh? Yeah.

I would. What else would I do to make you laugh?

I mean, you're really good at finding funny TikToks. You are. Wow, that's my let's go. No, you do, though. You find really good quality funny TikToks. Oh, you know what you do sometimes? When you're gasing yourself up, that.

Makes you laugh a lot. To make you laugh, I do that. Yeah.

You're good at banner. Next question. Do you have any fun memories when it comes to driving? Moments spent with family, friends, driving off to university. I do. Go on. I have such fun memories in cars with my dad. I feel like when he was dropping me to university or even now when he's dropping me to the airport, there are really special times where I feel like it gives space to just open up and he'll just share stories about his youth that I didn't know about. We'll just talk about random things and I just find so much out about him and he's usually quite a quiet person. It feels like the car journeys are when things are changing. Even when we go back to where his family lives in Norwich, it's like a two and a half hour, three hour drive, and I always think along the way, This is where this happened. This is where this happened. There's always little moments where he'll just suddenly start reminiscing in journeys. I think that because you're going on a journey, your mind goes back to journeys in your life. Definitely enjoy that. Then also with my grandma, because I drive her and her friends around sometimes to take them to different places.

Imagine four 90-year-old women in the car that are just laughing and hanging out. And so I love doing uber service for them. That's fun. And singing along with my nephew in the car. That is a good one. That's always fun. And we've done so many fun road trips as well. I love being out and.

About on the road. -videos of you and Origin singing in the car.

-they're so fun. They're really cute. I love a good karaoke moment.

In the car. Yeah, he's like singing.

His heart out. -singing his heart out to Adele.

I think for me, I actually love car time as a space for reflection. I don't know what it is about cars.

For me. You do that a lot.

You don't play music. I don't. I drive in silence a lot of the time. I'll listen to my own thoughts. I'll reprogram them. I'll take a moment to... I find sometimes when I'm in the car, I talk to God the most. I don't know what it is about that, but I find it a really easy way to talk out loud and just listen and pray and reflect. I do that a lot if I'm driving alone. It's so beautiful. I think my favorite memories of road trips also include all of our road trips, like our weekend trips. Whenever we're doing a playlist, when we're just hanging out, having conversations like this. I always find that when we find.

Like-even when we do road trips with friends and stuff, I feel like we played good games, cracking jokes. It was so fun.

It was so fun. It was so fun. And then I think when I was young, I remember because my parents would drive from London to Europe, so we wouldn't get a plane, we'd drive. We'd get the ferry from Dover to Calais and then drive through Europe. I always found that to be so incredible because we'd go through... You'd get to see every country in a really intimate way. Now when you fly, it's almost like you don't get to see the roads and the streets and everything. I've got something you don't have. What's that? Free checking. From your big bank? Yeah, no charge. You're right. I have Epic Premium Checking from CBC Credit Union. Runs you what? Just $10 a month. Yeah, but see, Epic Premium Checking.

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My name is Laverne Cox. I'm an actress, producer, fashionista.

And host of The Laverne.

Cox Show. You may remember my award-winning first season?

I've been pretty busy, but there's always time to talk to incredible guests about important things. People like me have been.

Screaming for years. We got.

To watch the Supreme Court. What they're doing is wrong.

What they're doing.

Is evil. They will take things away. I can only hope that Dobbs is that Pearl Harbor moment. Girl, you and I both know what it took to just get through the day in New York City and get home in one piece. And so the fact that we're here and what you've achieved and what I've achieved, that's momentous. It's not just us sitting around complaining about some bills. The only reason that you might think, as Chase said, that we're always measurable is because people are constantly attacking us and we're constantly noticing it. Listen to the Laverne Cox Show on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Be sure to subscribe and share.

Where do you drive to when you miss home when you're in L. A? When I really miss home, it's weird because what I really miss is, this might sound really odd, but seeing Indian people and being around Indians and seeing like grandmas with saris on. I feel like in L. A, we see people, but I would say I see a lot less brown people than I do when I'm in London on a daily basis. As you know, especially during festivals or Indian festivals, I want to go to Artesia. Ceritos.

Ceritos. And eat Indian food.

Buy Indian clothes. I eat Indian food, buy Indian clothes, be in a place where there is just so many people that feel like my community. There's something about that that makes me feel nostalgic. Sometimes I'll go to this vegetable Indian restaurant that I really like here. Usually, my missing home is like missing my mum's food because when I'm feeling sad or I feel like I need comfort, it's usually- Food. -my mom's, specifically my mum's food that brings me that comfort. And if I can't get that, then I have to go see some old Indian women in sari. So it feels like I'm around my grandma.

Yeah, I.

Love that. So yeah, that's probably if I think about it, it's either that or I'll sit just by myself and eat ice cream and watch a Bollywood movie or something. Nice.

I think for me, I drive to places I can make new memories. If I miss home, I'm always thinking, well, what's a new cool, fun thing I can do to create and build a new memory? I think it's very easy for me sometimes to think if I miss something that I have to recreate it, or sometimes we think if we miss something, you have to recreate it. For me, I just like to think, okay, well, what opportunity do I have? What possibility do I have to just build something fresh? I think that's what I do.

What is the thing you were most scared of going into this past year that you ended up doing?

Literally a month before my world tour, I was so close to pulling out because I was really worried about whether I'd be able to stay healthy and fit traveling to all those countries. And I was concerned about my wellbeing. I was thinking about work. I was thinking about all the things I had to put on hold. It was like I wasn't going to see you for months. I wasn't going to see most of my team for months. I wasn't going to be able to do so much of the work that I'm used to doing every single year. We had to tape meditations in advance. We had to tape podcasts in advance. There was so much work. A month before I was like, Okay, I don't think I can go on tour. The thing that kept me going was Nicole and Annie had worked so hard on putting the tour together, and the team had worked so hard on putting the tour together. I was like, I can't let them down. If I cancel it, it's going to let down all these people who've worked so hard putting it all together and I can't just pull out.

I never told them that till afterwards. I think they were relieved. But it was just one of those things of just like when you're doing something new, what I've learned is it's so natural to feel scared and it's so natural to feel fear. What I've realized is before I used to think you have to wait to get over the fear to do something, or you have to wait till you don't feel scared so you can do something. You spend all your energy going, Okay, well, how do I take care of my fear? Do I control my fear? How do I move past what I'm scared of? And the truth is you have to be fearful and do it anyway. You're going to be scared anyway, so why not accept that you're scared, accept that you're fearful, create a plan and then do it. When I went on my tour, I remember after finishing the US leg, I was exhausted. Then when I went international, we started in Australia again, there were some crazy highs and lows on tour when it came to health and wellness, fitness. We were literally in a city for a max one and a half days.

And so for me...

Yeah, that was intense.

For me, I mean, you came with me for a week and it was exhausting. Why am I getting a massage in my face?

Guys, I just found out that there is a massage feature in this car and I just.

Activated it. While I was answering my question. -yeah. -while I was opening my heart.

For some relaxation.

This is what Radhe's like. This is how Radhe makes me laugh. I'll be having a really vulnerable, deep, open, a heartfelt conversation, and then you'll do something like this. Can you feel it? Yes, I can.

Feel it. That's really amazing. Who doesn't want a bit of a back massage when you're driving? Mine's still going on. -i've never seen that in a car. -all right. No, that is true. -what was yours?

Yeah, that's what you'll do. You totally detract away from my deep, meaningful point and be like, Oh, yeah.

That was really cool. No, you are... No, I'm so sorry, but tell me that feature is not worth being distracted for. It was worth it. What was the thing? Oh, my God, this was the year that I literally did so many things that I would normally say no to or was scared of. I spoke on stage. Oh, yeah, how.

Was that? Explain that process for you because I think you put it up on Instagram and I remember everyone that week being like, Oh, my God, it's amazing. It was so sweet. But it was such a big thing for you.

Walk us through that. It was such a big.

Thing to me. Why was it such a big thing for you? You were invited to give a speech for?

I was invited to give a speech for an organization that had like, what was it?

3,000 people? Right. In the audience, which is huge.

In the.

Audience, yeah, it was huge. You'd never spoken to more than like, what, 300 people, maybe?

I hadn't really spoken to people like that on stage. I may have done or something back in the day, but I remember freezing and not.

Even talking. This was a keynote. This was not a panel.

This was a keynote where it was a full, what, 30 minutes speaking to the crowd and then 15 minutes of Q and A. I was practicing for months. I was going over and over again, writing it, practicing. It made me realize how when you write something, it's so different to when you're speaking. Things when you write and then when you say it can feel so cheesy. It was just such an weird experience because I was literally getting to the day of and I was like, I have to cancel. The night before, we had practicing in front of a mirror. That was really great, but it still didn't take away my fear. I have to say, it wasn't something where I did it and I was like, Yeah, I can't wait to do it again. It was like, Okay, I'm so glad I did it. And it's so nice to know that I can overcome a fear of being in front of so many people and worried about not sounding smart or not sounding like I know what I'm even talking about. Out or getting words wrong or not... You always want to feel like an expert before you do something.

I always have felt like an amateur in things that I do, and so that's always stopped me from doing things where I've been too scared of being seen as someone who's not doing things really well or doesn't know it, and so then I'd hide away from it. It was just interesting for me to do it. Even though I wouldn't say I was an expert at it at all, I still gave it a go and was okay with getting things wrong and maybe not being perfect at it. Even more than feeling successful, I just felt liberated of getting over that fear.

What do you think it is? Because I feel like when we feel fear or we feel scared, we feel fearful and scared of so many different things, but really there's a root to where that comes from.

Mine, if I'm completely honest, roots from always feeling like I've never been smart enough because of grades or people in my family being smarter than me. By the way, I'm not like, Oh, that's so sad. I'm just saying that is where roots from, because I've always had that, and I've told myself that for so long, and I've always turned to other people to fix things or make things better or to tell me whether what I'm doing is right or wrong, that I never believed me start standing by myself doing something was going to be as good as other people doing it with me. That's amazing. That's incredible. So it definitely roots from that. And then I've just realized that just get over it, the worst things that happen in life and you don't have to be an expert to do things. That's why I started trying to do things that I'm really not good at, because sometimes I really enjoy things that I'm not good at, but I stop myself from doing them because I just think that I shouldn't because I'm not good at it. I think that we're just trained to feel that way when not everything has to be about being really good at things.

It can just be because you want to try or that you want a new experience.

I mean, it is about being really good at things.

Yeah, for people who are good at things.

I think I really appreciate your resilience. I remember when, what was it that you tried when we were on vacation a couple of years ago? -was it wakeboarding?

-yeah, wakeboarding. I think it might be, yeah.

Anyway, that was like watching you do that. I remember the next day you felt like you'd had whiplash, but you just kept getting back up and trying it, even though you'd stand up for like three seconds and fall over. I remember timing it and it was just amazing. Your resilience to keep trying something, even when it's so difficult. You do love that too?

I do like trying. -you even like Pickleball. But yeah, I really enjoyed trying all those things this year and recognizing that lots of people are like, Oh, I tried this thing and I tried it once and then I just got that. People kept asking me, they were like, Once you start actually speaking in public, you're going to get this bug for it and you're going to want to do it. And I was like, I have knocked that bug for it and it's not something that I'm craving to do again. The show.

Is out differently.

Wasn't it? Yeah. I love it. Yeah, you do, of course. And the thing is, you're so good at it, but it's taken so many tries and doing it from a group of five people to 50 peopleto a hundred people to 100 people to 1,000 people to however many people came to your show, you really built that. Why are you laughing?

Why are you laughing? Because so funny?

However many people. Yeah, because so many endless, countless people came to your show, and you did that over and over again. I just think that it's something which you see your comfort on stage. I do not feel my comfort on stage. I feel my comfort.

In other areas, yeah. In my home. Well, I thought you did amazing.

Thank you. Incredible. What is the biggest lesson you have learned this year? The biggest lesson that I've learned this year is, this is going to sound so lame because the only thing I can think of right now because I'm tired. But how important sleep is? Especially because I've stepped up in what I actually do in my day. What I've realized is how important one, conserving your energy and being able to have alone time is, and also how important relationships are in terms of what you gain from human connection and how energetic that can feel, and also how draining that can feel and knowing the difference between both and who gives you both of those things. Who are the people you spend time with that actually help feed your energy? I think I've had to really learn that in the time that I'm spending with people because I feel so drained. Then how important sleep is not in a superficial way, but in the way that it affects your mood, your energy levels, your ability to wake up and even meditate in the morning, your ability to work during the day, it just affects so much of your life.

What you want to eat, what you crave, it just impacts everything. I've really been trying to prioritize sleep lately of early sleeping earlier, and that's that.

That's good. I really think the biggest thing I've learned this year, which I feel like the universe keeps reminding me of this, but it's a big one, is don't judge an emotion in others that you've never felt because the universe will make you.

Experience it. Oh, my gosh.

Yes. -so often we look at other people's lives and we go, Why are they so stressed about that? That's so mindless. Why are they so anxious about that? There's nothing to do with that. Why are they so mad about that? I wouldn't be mad about that. Then all of a sudden, the same thing happens to you, and all of a sudden you're like broken. I've seen that happen so many times to friends. I've seen that happen so many times to myself where you're judging someone else's pain, thinking you could deal with that pain, and then you go, When I'm actually going through that pain, I don't want to feel it anymore. Whenever I find myself thinking, Oh, I could handle that better, or That's not a big deal, or Can't believe they're struggling with that, I've started to realize just don't have that feeling because you have no idea how that person is navigating it, what their trigger is, what their trauma is, what their pain is, and it's so easy to be like, Oh, well, I find that easy. When you actually go through it, it's another ball game. I remember it's like when people are like, oh, not that I say this, but a lot of people will say like, Oh, there's no such thing as depression.

There's no such thing as anxiety. It's just all in your head, things like that. It's not actually helpful. I think everyone goes through something like that in life that really breaks them down. When I go through that, when I feel like I've judged something and then I'm going through it myself, I go, Oh, got it. This is making me more compassionate now for other people's pain. I hope that I can keep this feeling when I'm feeling confident that even if I haven't experienced someone's pain, I can still be compassionate towards it because I recognize that I don't understand all types of pain just because I think I do mentally. It's so interesting how we think because we understand something theoretically, it should be easy practically. When we're not going through that challenge right now, we underplay it and undermine it, and then as soon as we're going for our own challenge, we overhype it.

Yeah. The next question is, what is something you want to work on for next year? Oh, nice. I think that it's easy when, and I'm sure many people have felt this in relationships or even with friendships, where you see someone with a specific purpose and they know what they're doing, and you can almost either jump on the bandwagon of their purpose or intention and try and mimic it without actually feeling it or doing the work it requires to maintain it. I've been thinking about that a lot because I think seeing you have your purpose and have seen you do that for a long time, I think I kept trying to create the same purpose for myself or jump onto your purpose and make it my own. But the problem was I didn't have the deep rooted feeling that you have with what you are doing. And so that's why my energy and my desire for it would run out so fast and I'd have to keep motivating myself to keep motivating myself. But there wasn't an actual motivation because the motivation was coming from you. I think for me next year, it's about actually figuring out what my deep rooted purpose and intention is behind what I'm doing and everything I'm doing to feel like it is mine versus one, what other people think my purpose is, and two, trying to jump onto someone else's because it seems so amazing because you're so connected to it, but it's not mine, and therefore don't have that connection.

It's interesting how our mind does that. Even when we know purpose is individual, it's unique. It's not adopted. We always talk about that famous line in the Baguard Gita, which says that it's better to do your own purpose imperfectly than to try to do someone's perfectly. Because the point is doing your thing is way better than trying to do someone else's. And also the other verse that I love about purpose is when you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you. When we try to imitate or project someone's purpose onto ourselves, it doesn't work because we actually have to protect the diamond of our purpose that we're holding on to, and we have to care for it as if it's a rare gem.

Was something you want to work on for next year?

There's been a few things I've been thinking about. One is that I really believe that my best work for me at this point in my career comes when I have space. There was a time in my life where being productive and efficient was what helped me achieve. I feel like I'm at a place in my life where I feel like the more I'm reflecting, reading, being thoughtful, I feel like a better version of myself. I think I've been re prioritizing from being productive to almost zooming out and gaining more perspective. That requires a lot of restructuring of my life. I have lots of commitments. I have lots of responsibilities. There's so many things I have to think about in order to do that, but I'm realizing that I'm better with more time than less time. It's not about more socialize. I'm not trying to create more of a social life. That's not really what will make me happy, but I'm trying to create more of space to be more curious and be even more reflective and thoughtful than I believe I already give myself time to. I find that I'm often putting myself in a lot of discomfort to operate at a high level, and I want to give myself some mental comfort and I believe that will really create some fascinating projects and vision for what I want to do in the world.

I think that there's points in your career where you just have to put your head down and work really hard, and then you get to points in your career where you have to look up and take a step back. And I think I'm at a point in my career where I want to do that because I want to really think about the impact I want to have in the world. I want to really think about the work I want to do, the pathways I think are going to really shift culture in the world, and I want to give myself time and space, that's not going to come from productivity. That's going to come from perspective.

What is something you valued this past year in our relationship that you did not value in the past?

That's such a great question.

I'd say maybe for me is I think in the past because you were always ready to give help and I wasn't ready to necessarily receive it because I wasn't ready to do the work it took to do it. And you're always someone who wants to help and you always have the time and space to help no matter what you have going on. And I think in the past, I didn't value it because I almost wasn't ready to... I didn't want to waste your time because I knew I wasn't ready to put in the work to actually take it on. You never waste time. No, but you know what I mean? It was more me not being in a place to do the stuff required because I get your advice and then I wouldn't implement and then it didn't make sense and it made me feel bad about it. Whereas I feel like this year, because I made a decision to really try and understand what my potential was and to push myself to see and explore that, I was able to take on a lot of your really great advice and time and I value that advice a lot more now because I'm ready to actually receive it.

I think for me, there's a couple of things. I think I learned to revalue every year just how much you do love me by your choice to, as we've always talked about it's been so hard for you to move away from family, move to New York and then move to LA and then and I know you go back often when it's nice, but you still base yourself here. I think I learned to revalue that every year as a sign of how much you love me because I realize that that is the reason that makes you do it. You wouldn't do it if it wasn't for that. I think that that is something I have to revalue. I get a newfound value for it every year because I realize it more and more. I think the other thing that I value that maybe I didn't value before was how much, again, I think it's a revalue too, of how much you're so flexible and adaptable. Like if I said to you, I've got this amazing opportunity, I need to get on a plane tomorrow, you never make me feel guilty or bad about it. And that is just, I've thought about it a lot and I'm like, that is really hard.

And yes, we're both like that with each other, but I think it takes a lot to just be flexible and adaptable. Life hasn't got less busy, it's got more busy. I think that's a newfound value again that I renew every year of like, Wait a minute, you're more flexible and adaptable. I went on a world tour this year. I was gone.

For - You're really good at that. I feel like your state of mind, and I'm not just saying this, you're a very in gratitude. You're a very in gratitude person on a daily basis with not just me, with literally every single person around you. I think that just pours into everything that you do. What is the change you have made this past year that impacted your daily life? Putting in the work it takes to complete things, because I'd have the, I do the work it takes to start things, but I didn't do the work it takes to complete things till this year. I see how hard that is for people. I have a newfound appreciation for people who actually get things done. My goodness, what a life to live. I just want to say that basically because I've completed things this year, I do feel like I feel more confident in myself. I think that it's impacting my daily life because I've started making little decisions by myself and I've started trusting in my own voice and I've started being more sure about the things that I actually think I should do in a situation versus asking a thousand people or trying to second-guess myself.

With committing to completing things in my life, it has come with a boost of confidence in my own voice. That has impacted my daily life in so many ways because it just made me a bit more secure in who I am. Definitely not fully there, but it feels like the beginning of the journey of really understanding myself a little bit more. And it's all come from consistency and trying to commit to things for myself. I actually really have appreciated that this year.

I think for me, it's having an amazing team.

Your team is just literally just- Very special. -to your humans. -and it's not because they're going to hear it or are hearing it.

I feel like being surrounded by people you actually enjoy spending time with and as people, not just at work, and being surrounded by people that you trust and that trust you and that being surrounded by people that you feel. There was a quote that I read the other day that said, a great relationship is when both people feel lucky.

You so have that in your team.

I feel like having that in your personal life, your professional life in every area of your life, that's what makes life special. That has made a big change, being surrounded by people who just have wonderful values and qualities.

I feel like you've attracted each other because honestly, I don't know how your team is so as special as they are. Every single person has different personalities, but the same care, attention, desire. And what's beautiful is this, you feel no competition there, which is really difficult to create in a work environment. Then everybody feels so secure in their roles and how they see it as collaborative thing. They all feel like part of a puzzle, and they all work so well together to do that. It's so beautiful. I appreciate seeing you so happy finally because I think that you've worked so hard to get to this point to have people who feel the same way. It's nice being surrounded by people who feel the same desire and excitement as you do every single day.

Yeah, it's been really special. And on that note, I want to say a big thank you to all of you because I think it's been amazing just the amount of love and support that On Purpose has had in the last 12 months. The incredible guests we've had are because of all of you that watch, that like, that share, that recommend this podcast to your friends. The amazing conversations I've been having, the solo episodes that I've been recording. Just thank you for all your love and support because I couldn't do any of it without you. It's amazing to see the growth that we're having and it's amazing to see the growth that we're having. And it's unbelievable and so grateful to you all genuinely. Thank you so much. And thank you, Radhe, for doing this with me. Of course. Going on this.

Little road trip. I always like these conversations. It brings so much out. It's such a good conversationalist.

-you are.

-if that's.

A word. It is a word.

Thanks.

Love you guys. If you love this episode, you'll love my interview with Kobe Bryant on how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose. Our children have become less imaginative about how to problem solve, and parents and coaches have become more directive in trying to tell them how to behave versus teaching them how to behave. I couldn't be more excited to share something truly special with all you tea lovers out there. And even if you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling sodas that are good for you, listen to this. Radhe and I poured our hearts into creating Juny, sparkling tea with adaptogens for you because we believe in nurturing your body. And with every sip, you'll experience calmness of mind, a refreshing vitality, and a burst of brightness to your day. Juni is infused with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances that act like superheroes for your body to help you adapt to stress and find balance in your busy life. Our Super 5 blend of these powerful ingredients include green tea, aswaganda, acarola, cherry, and lion's main mushroom. And these may help boost your metabolism, give you a natural kick of caffeine, combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants, and stimulate brain function.

Even better, Juni has zero sugar and only five calories per can. We believe in nurturing and energizing your body while enjoying a truly delicious and refreshing drink. So visit drinkjuni. Com today to elevate your wellness journey and use code on purpose to receive 15 % off your first order. That's drinkjuni. Com, and make sure you use the code on purpose. The Street Stoic Podcast is back. We are combining hip hop lyrics and quotes from some of the greatest to ever grace a microphone. It's a line from Lauren Hill, and she says, Don't be a hard rock when you really are. Again. Along with ancient wisdom from some of the greatest philosophers of all time. Seneca, right? And he says, Your mind will take shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impression. Listen to season two of the Street Stoic Podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey.

I'm Wilmer.

Valderrama, executive producer of.

The new podcast, Day My Abuelita First. Each week the incredible Vikoortiz and fabulous Abuelita Lilliana Montenegro will play matchmaker for a group of hopeful romatics. Right, Viko?

You know it.

Listen to Day My Abuelita first, Thursdays on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Remember, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Just do it better.