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No dotcom. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to On Purpose. The number one health podcast in the World Not Today is an extremely special episode. It's huge. Today's guest is none other than the incredibly talented, immeasurably kind Renaissance woman herself, Jennifer Lopez.
Jennifer Lopez has managed to not only be a cultural touchstone for more than twenty five years, but has reached invaluable success while staying so authentic to who she is. Jaylo just launched her skincare line, Gaoler Beauty, in January, and she performed at the inauguration for President Biden. So, as expected, it's already been a busy year for her. I recently had the opportunity to speak with Jennifer as part of Coaches' new YouTube series, Coach Conversations. And now I'm so excited to share our talk with you all in full.
I'm ready, let's go. I'm fascinated to know how you define your calling and purpose today and why you think it's important to define it.
Wow, that's you know, I went like that when you ask the question, because it's such a still such a big question for me, even though I kind of know what I do for a living and what my life is and the things that drive me for me today in January, twenty twenty one. I think my calling is to empower, inspire and entertain. Those are the things that I do. And in an entertaining I kind of hope I'm always empowering and inspiring people to be the best at whatever they want to do.
You know, I went and before Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, I got the privilege to meet her in her chambers while I was on tour. And I said to I said, what can I do to help? Like, it seems like the world is so crazy right now. And she said, exactly what you doing? Every person just has to do what they do best and be the best that they can be. And in that they will help the world.
What a perfect answer. Thank you so much for sharing that.
By the way, since we're talking about purpose this month and that's the topic. Tell me a bit more about you. What exactly does a purpose coach do?
That is a great question that my wife and my mom still ask me every single day. A purpose coach helps people figure out how they can have the deepest and biggest impact on people's lives using that gift. And I believe there's someone out there right now, Jennifer, who's going to cure a disease and they don't even know it yet. There's someone out there who's going to inspire millions of people and they don't even know it yet. And if I can play even a tiny role in helping them get closer to that, then that's what I'm trying to dedicate my life to.
Yeah, that's amazing. I love that. That's like a perfect answer. But you weren't always a purpose, coach. You had it. You had kind of a second act. You know, I didn't what we call second act. I'm always about we we wrote that movie with this whole idea in mind of like, you can do many things. So how did how did you get to where you are today?
I thought I was going to be in business because it was the safe option. And then I completely went on to the other side and rebelled against it when I lived as a monk. And then I came back to the real world three years on where I found more stability back in the world of management and business. And then I found that that wasn't my true calling. What drew me to the purpose work is that I saw a lot of pain in humanity and the source of that pain was a lack of education.
People were just never given the tools. So if you think about it, we have a class for biology, but we don't have a class for the heart or emotions. We have a class for not. They shouldn't have to have a school for that mind. Yeah, they have a whole school. Why don't they teach kids from very young to love themselves? I'm I'm with you on that. That's that. You should start that school or course we do a thing.
I remember when I was like going through therapy at the beginning, you know, kind of like in my late thirties. And it was there was a lot of talk about loving yourself. And I was like, I love myself. But obviously I was doing all these things and like my personal relationships didn't seem like I was loving myself, but I didn't even understand the concept of it. And it took time. And it's a journey and it's still a journey for me.
How do you feel that, you know, people are struggling, obviously, as you know, as we're aware. How do you feel like finding your calling and purpose happens at difficult times and a tough times? Is that the right time to open your mind and heart up to that? Is there ever a right time?
You know, this is such a tough moment. It's a very tough moment. And and the whole year has been tough. But many of us, if we're lucky, one of the blessings of twenty twenty was that we had a moment of pause. There was a moment where we could just stop for a second and we could look inward, even if it was just taking a few moments every day to take stock in those things and to prioritize what was really important in our lives, our family, our kids.
You know, and not only see what you want, but more importantly, who you want to be when it all comes back around. It's a great insight, great advice. Let's talk more about the words calling and purpose. All right. Because that's what this month is about. How would you define them? It's not the same thing is as career, for example.
Yeah, I think there's a difference between calling it a career because a career feels like something you're always pushing, like you're like pushing it, trying to make it work. And a calling feels like something that's pulling you closer to it, like it feels like you're being pulled towards it. And so but I have to say that I do feel careers can evolve into callings. And so I often find that when people just start on their career and rather than feeling like, oh my gosh, my calling so far away or my purpose is so far away, let me just learn what I can from this, because it's going to be useful later.
There's going to be some part of it that's actually powerful for my future, and so I think that's how they connect and overlap.
And I think when you when you take on any job or anything that you have to do, even if if it's like, well, this doesn't feel right, if you put your heart and soul into it and you do the best you can do, you're going to get something out of it. It's going to lead to something else. And when you're trying to be like I said, you have to try to be the greatest of all time. Like you have to aim for that.
And that's what I am. And when you're aiming for that, all of a sudden as an actor, you're like when you're aiming to be the best actor you can, you realize that you have to learn what it is to direct. You have to learn what it is to produce. You have to understand what it is to be the set designer, to be all because all of it works together and you wind up, you know, growing and growing and evolving and evolving just because you're open to being the greatest in the job that you have right there.
It seems like even in your new single in the morning, you speak to metamorphosis. And it seems like what I'm hearing from you today is that everything's highly intentional. You're picking things because they seem deeply purposeful. Have you always been like that? Has that always been the way you've approached everything in life where it feels deeply intentional?
Yeah, I think because. You know, I started as a dancer. And I wasn't always the best dancer. I was a great dancer, but I wasn't the best dancer, you know, and everybody's so competitive in these fields. Right. But I knew that every from the beginning because of that, I put something extra into it. I put my heart into it. I put my soul into it, into each move. There was a purpose behind it, like everything had to speak something.
And I learned that early on when I was when I was dancing from when I was very young, that I had to for it to affect people since I couldn't kick my leg the highest because I couldn't jump and make the split the highest that I had to have something else that was connecting because at the end of the day, doesn't really matter what I realized. What matters was actually, you know, connecting in a way and putting a passion into each move and making everything mean something.
Everything I do, I want it to have a purpose to it. I, I really want to remind people to own. Their power always, you know, morning TV is not it's not just when you're in the spotlight, it's like being your best self at every moment, you know, even when the cameras are not on.
I think I love hearing you say that you weren't you didn't think that you were the best dancer, because I think there's a lot of people just hearing that and going, oh, yeah, just taking the pressure off of, like, thinking that you have to have thought you were the best from that point on.
So I think you have to strive to be the best. I think that's an important key. But you don't have to be the best to to have success, to have you just have to not give up. You have to keep going. You have to always just know that you have something special to offer. But you have to. I think striving to be the best is is part of the secret.
When I've watched you, whether I've been watching your interviews or your performances, I always feel like it's more than entertainment. It's it's more about empowerment. Tell me about what's going on in your mind and what you want people to experience when you ask them to dream on.
My mantra for this year, one of them, because I always have many, I always have many is to dream on. I really believe twenty twenty one can bring change and healing. And my dream is that, you know, together this year we can make a more unified, more loving, more accepting, more understanding world. I always want to inspire inspired different things in people and whether it's to make them laugh or cry, affect them in some way.
And in these times where all of us can feel lost, I wanted to give people some hope and some direction.
And we are only a few months into twenty, twenty one now. And I'm hesitant to say this, but things feel like they're getting better. Spring is in the air.
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You are having to feel things.
You have the creative process for me, especially in building a show or performance, is is really a many layered process for me. I don't think anything has an impact if you're not 100 percent in it and behind it. So what? I'm creating something. I do it because I love it and I love the moment to moment connection that I get with with the audience, whether to a song or a movie or a live performance. I want it to be successful, of course, and I want to do my best.
But I believe that that things that resonate with me will resonate with other people. And when you make choices that way, yeah, there's always some risks involved. Some people are going to love it. Some people are going to hate it, whatever. But I don't let that worry kind of overcome me, you know. Is this the right choice or should I be more cautious because I want to feel passionate about the things I create. And I and I think that that that shows in my work.
Yeah. One of one of the things that really resonated with me was when on the last day of twenty twenty, you used the launch of your Jaylo beauty brand to tell people to literally wash away 20, 20, like ceremoniously. Right.
Because I feel like everybody needed to do that. Go ahead. I'm sorry. I agree with you. Everyone needed to do that. What do you think you were washing away in 2020 or what were you letting go of in 2020 with the launch?
Because it was on January 1st and because it was a symbolic kind of new beginning of a new year, that the idea of washing away the year before, which is 20, 20, which was a year we all wanted to wash away, it was it was a chance to kind of wash away some of the pain, some of the uncertainty, some of the fear that we've all been experiencing this year. It was a chance to just wash away the energy of that year.
And really start fresh and know that that that's possible, but we as a collective have experienced a lot of trauma over the past year, physical, emotional, psychological. Is is there such a thing, do you think, as universal healing? How do we move forward with purpose as. You know, because we're all emotional works in progress. I love that. I'm so glad you asked me that question. There's a there's a beautiful thing I read from a writer called Russell Barkley.
And in it, he says that people who need the most love often ask for it in the most unloving ways. And and I thought about that, I think about that a lot, about how every cry for attention is a cry for love. Every cry for validation is a cry for love. Every act of pain or hurt to someone in in one way or another is a deep cry for life.
But also like it's just not a cry. Sometimes it's like that person who's really angry, the person is like really angry, like you just had a hug like you give. Let me give you a hug. Right. Like you could just tell.
That's what I mean. It is exactly that. And I know exactly what you mean.
I find that a lot of people right now feel this pressure to find that purpose when someone's feeling pressure, like if someone's sitting there and they're going, oh, gosh, I just don't know what my purpose is, I feel so far away from it. How do you deal with that pressure of redefining your purpose and evolving people?
Because, like, she reinvents herself, like there's a reinvention. I don't like that word. I'm not reinventing or trying to be something different or trying to trick people into, like, something new. It's it's an evolving. Right. So when you're talking about a calling a purpose, that there's a lot of pressure around it. Right. The most important thing is that you have to listen to yourself and the words that you tell yourself, because what you say and what you think, and I tell this to my kids all the time, becomes your reality.
If you're telling yourself you're, you know, I'm going to be this or I'm going to be that, you're telling yourself I'm a loser. Then you'll be of whatever it is. You tell yourself that and it will manifest. I really believe that we create our lives again, not just with our actions and the things we do, but the things we think and the self talk that we give being in this business where people are always trying to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, you really have to have a strong sense of self and gut an instinct and follow that.
We talked about listening to the inner voice, but we also have to listen to voices around us surrounding ourselves with the right mentors. Tell us about what coach it forward means to you.
I mean, it's about really telling people in your life, taking the time to let the people in your life know that they've impacted your life. That, to me, is such a beautiful idea why I love being associated and working with them, because they're always thinking about kind of more just not, you know, the brand itself, but what the brand stands for. And it's social good and and I love it. And I love this idea of culture forward.
I mean, we all know it pay it forward means it's like you have a blessing and you somehow pay it forward selflessly to somebody else. And I love that idea. But I also love the idea of culture forward, which is just, you know, simple as picking up the phone and calling somebody instead and saying, you make my every day better. I would say who I talk to every day, maybe multiple times a day, is my producing partner.
I'm one of my very best friends, Elaine Goldsmith, Thomas, and she just pumps me up every day. She just, you know, she goes, I feel like I have to remind you all the time because you're so hard on yourself and you're such a perfectionist. I want to remind you that you're doing great. It's good because I'm always like, oh, I've got to do this. I didn't do that. Well, you're you're a good mom.
You're a good person, you know, and it's important to have people like that in your life. And so I'm saying to Elaine right now, I love you and I love what you bring to my life and everything about you and how you make me feel is priceless to me in my life.
I love that. That's beautiful to hear. And I'm so glad that that gratitude was personalized and specific. Like, that's what it works. Like studies show that when you're actually specific about gratitude and it's so personal and I can see when you were talking about them, it was just pouring out from your heart, like that's when gratitude is beautifully received and given, like you feel is as much joy giving gratitude as the person feels receiving it. But, Jennifer, thank you so much for your time today.
And to join me in this first ever episode of Coach Conversations, I feel like we were able to dive so deeply into purpose and calling. But I want to end with a quick fire round of fill in the blanks. I'm going to ask you a question, then you're going to ask me a question.
My favorite affirmation is I am open and receptive to all the goodness and abundance that the universe has to offer.
Oh, I love that one. That's beautiful. You're my biggest cheerleader is my mom, my my sister.
My wife. Probably I'd have to go with family. So you're my favorite dance move is I don't have a favorite dance move.
I think the thing I'm probably known for as this is maybe the booty shake. OK, I'm yours.
The first thing I do in the morning is avoid looking at my phone. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. OK, this is for you. I love most when when I'm with my mother, she makes she literally makes me laugh out loud. OK, for you. My favorite Jaylo song is, oh, that's a tough one. I'd have to say what I've played the most is I'm going to be all right. I think that's how much that has to be my favorite song.
I wrote that song. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, I love that song, too.
I think the message, the messaging, the the meaning behind it. Still to this day, I can put it on any time in the car at the gym when I'm walking around and that song is like it gets in the zone. So thank you. Thank you. I love that. That is.
So you're real. You really did know a song. Last question.
My calling in one word is it's too hard. One word. OK, one sentence, one sentence, OK? My calling in one sentence is, like I said, it's to empower, inspire, entertain and put out into the world a message of love.
Thank you to everyone who's been watching this that I'm so honestly, deeply grateful for. This time we got to spend together. And yeah, I'm excited to see if we can start a school together to help people find those emotional skills and emotional abilities. But everyone been watching today. Make sure you subscribe, make sure you share this conversation and make sure you share the insights and the inspiration from Jennifer that really resonated and stuck with you. Because when you pass it on, when you pay it forward, when you coach it forward, it allows you to build meaningful relationships with everyone in your life.
Thank you so much for watching. And a big thank you to Jenny. Thank you for being here with us.
Thank you all so much for listening to the episode of On Purpose. I hope you enjoyed this conversation with Jennifer Lopez about courage, authenticity and staying in your purpose. Please take Jennifer and myself on Instagram and let us all know what you learned on this episode. See you all on Friday.
Thanks for listening.
This podcast was produced by Dust Light Productions, our executive producer from Dust lt is Michelle Usif. Our senior producer is Julianna Bradley. Our associate producer is Jacqueline Castillo. Valentino Rivera is our engineer. Our music is from Blue Dot Sessions and special thanks to Rachel Garcia, the dust like development and operations coordinator.