If you saw me, like at a strip club. Well, it turns out I can't see your face. So if I just saw that and I couldn't. Well, let your hair down. Take your take. No, hold on.
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You know I love my dogs right. Yeah. I love you. I love dogs too. You don't love mine though. No I love my dog. OK, I don't like your dog.
Why don't you like my dog? Well, because you don't like my. And I asked you first. No, I didn't say no. I don't know your fucking dog. So how would you like a dog? You've never met them?
No. My bad. Yeah, I don't know them. All right. OK, so you like your dog. Talk to people. Really, eh.
What did you say on the way here? I mean, that's what I'm telling you. So I'm getting I'm getting started advance.
So, you know, first of all, I have one car in the house. Yeah, I know in your intro I got to do a millionaire and you have one car just by another car, that's your problem. I buy another car and then Meltem. Yeah, you did. What did you say, guys in the studio, what did he say?
Because you were like you were like I said, I said, you're running late. Let's get there and then we'll get there. You're right, because let's go the last month or so.
So, you know, I like to get my dogs treats, everyone gives her dogs treats, I know. So sometimes I give them, like, meat sticks.
Yeah, but you gave it to a dog that doesn't have any teeth. That's right. OK, I can't chew through them. Each day has teeth. What's the matter?
Nothing is. This is what happened. This is you know what? This is the same fucking shit that Christian Bale, former Christian Bale snapped.
That's why he loses that. And you keep walking in the middle of our test, we're working, get him out of here.
Get him out of here, you know? So anyway, go ahead. The meat sticks that I give them are like the they're not chewy, not like shards of glass.
Right. So why are you giving him such big? Because of my other two dogs have teeth like, you know, in the crunch on it. You know, they like it. Why doesn't the dog have teeth? It's old.
It's Eddie Pepitone. I think my dog is older than any Pepitone. So it's my other dog.
My old one. Remy, right. Yeah. You know, he's tried to the beef jerky.
He can't you just swallow that her whole. And as soon as Khalilah got home, she walked and Remi's going, dying, choking brawl. Do you give a dog a Heimlich maneuver? Not because I want a new puppy. Oh, you let him die.
I want a new puppy. Yeah. Let him die. No, but I know how old. How many years? 13. Right. I'm probably 30, 40 years. 40 years old. Right. So anyway, it's not I feel like and I feel like. Oh my God. Like I'm trembling. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
You're getting scared. You're going to lose your dog. Right. It's swallow's. And then it does like this noise. Like it's bleeding internally. Right.
Right. Meanwhile. Right. I have to leave. Well you got to come here to come this mini mall in fucking Nevada.
And this is what you know, you know what to call two bears and two bears inside of one cages just whitewash white people, corporate white trash comedy, white trash kombai.
It's in a fucking facility like this.
By the way, welcome back to Beyer's one. Hey. Hey, man. Anyway, I we're all over the country this year.
I'm going to take a shit on this fucking table. I dare you. I told you on the phone last night you won last night we made a phone call. I want to last night we had a phone call and Bob said he could poop on the table. If you so drink, chug that Red Bull and see if it'll come out.
That's a whole big hurdle to come to write a story. So finish the story and then read me.
Just kind of go read me, kind of goes and just kind of lays on his stomach like, yes.
Now Khalilah, my girlfriend, panicking, screaming at me, of course. Your ear, your piece of shit. Yes. Your dumb. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's like, how can I have children with you. Oh yeah. Yeah. Those type of conversations.
Yeah. Real talk. Talk is going to break up with me. That's a black people call. Real talk. Real talk you dumb.
I'm not trying to have kids with you right now and I'm disappointed in you. OK, real talk. Real good.
Real talk with Delroy Lindo. What are you doing. That's a good one. Real talk. So anyway, you like Delroy Lindo love. He's great. Yeah. And you anyway, so anyway, so so Remi's is laying on a stomach like this, dying, dying, dying, and I'm just kind of on the couch, like when do you say when your dog is leaving? I got to get the fuck out of here, you know? I mean, I got to go.
Yeah, you can you take care of this? That's what I would say. I have a car because.
Because Jules is so she's like she's like my Govan's like, you can't go now. We have to take the dog to the vet ueber. No, no. She's not doing. You know how. No, you should have foubert.
Oh I didn't think you could have Rubert. I could have. By the way, can you look that up if you can give the dog a Heimlich maneuver? Is that a thing that people do? By the way, he said quickly, our top our guys aren't that quick. Our guys aren't our guy. They don't want to do what he would do, that our computer falls asleep, they fall asleep. They don't give them professional shit. Did you mean can you give a dog a Heimlich maneuver?
Yeah. If your dog is is is standing, put your arms around and you're doing just opening the mouth.
Yeah, well, someone has to open it to make a fist with your hands and friendly swift push up towards what is a thrusting motion much like you perform on a human.
So you do. My dog. My dog is this big. Yes. So you little fucking mouth. So put one nuk just one on not just one duck underneath. It would have killed it.
They do. I have heard that you put if you put a finger in there but you put a finger in their butt to make them. Not if they're, if a dog is biting you. Do you know that or you do. What's the shocker.
Shocker. Shocker. Bokhara if it bites you you let go. Hey you tongue kiss your dog.
No, I do, I know you do. I know, but I like it like like you get in sometimes in the morning.
Sometimes in the morning when she comes over on my side to snuggle. Will I rest her butt on my crotch? Yeah. Yeah, you will.
Yeah, I'll rub it around all of it around a little bit to cut this up, but we'll leave it and I won't admit I want to admit something right now.
Go ahead to go ahead like that. My girlfriend said, don't ever tell me what you're doing. Let's share such a shitty mood. Phuket, Phuket, dude, fuck your career.
So what I do is sometimes I talk to a dog named Bojo as Bobby Jr.. Yeah, yeah. Right. And Bojo, I've we've had him since he was a kitten and he doesn't know who I am right now. Right. Right. So I'll you know, he's one of those guys I Bojo he just he's no idea. Right. Yeah. But what he does love and the only time I can get his attention is if I, I don't lick my fingers, I want to but I don't.
What I do is when I'm ready is rubbing his belly. Right. I kind of rub his penis a little bit with like like it's a clit. No, be on camera when you tell the ality. Yes, I know, because I have no sexual sexual thoughts about it.
OK, well then you guys need to make it for medical.
OK, you guys need to cut that. So he's just in the frame and I'm not in the frame. Right. Because if that gets pulled out of context and I'm I know sitting there smiling ality because I have no sexual feelings about it, you can't just rub a dog's penis. It's not like I do that. I spit on it. And, you know, I mean, you like that.
But you've thought about it because you just said that right now.
Did I did. Before or.
But anyway, why do you even show when you rub the belly, why do you you don't hear anything. He doesn't do anything. He'll just like you. But why do you go down? Tell you why. When I do it, you'll like this. You'll make that noise because he likes he loves me. Right. And I just go and I don't go. Yeah, you like that. You know, like. Like no. You've never said that.
No. Like, oh hi Bojo. You're cute. You know that. That's close.
That's almost the same thing.
That's not for those not Ribeau Bojo to do like. Is that wrong. Is that against the law. I don't know.
Let's ask the fans. Is that wrong? Go ahead and comment below. If rubbing your dog's belly and then maneuvering your way down to a genitally is wrong.
But let's see what they say.
Let me finish the story about the shards. The beef shards. Yeah. Yeah. So you gave your toothless dog. Right now we're fitting that we don't have a car and, you know, the dog could be dying, right? Yeah. And then, you know, you know, yelling at me and he's like, you know, because she thinks that I'm on.
The mentally slow, yeah, yeah, really legitimately thinks that, I mean, well, we we wanted to take an autism test with you and you wouldn't take it all. We want to take an autism test. We wanted to take one in. Kalala said she didn't want you to do it because of fear of what the results might be. You want to take one? We took a gay test, I know. And what were you? Thirty five?
Forty two percent gay. Thirty five percent, 40, 45 percent gay. Thirty five. Thirty five percent out.
30 percent bisexual. Yeah. Oh, that's right. You're right. I'm bisexual. I'm not bisexual, although. Right.
You're you're 60, you're 67 percent not know. Because the thing is, is you are single.
Does that make me bisexual. Yeah. I believe in gay marriage. You Bofur you vote for Joe Biden. Yeah, bisexual, oh, well, that's actually bisexual that anyway, let's go back to Sharon, yeah, go back to the. He's dying, right.
And now she's like she's talking to me in a certain way. And when she talks to me like that, it's just like I she's being condescending.
She she's just really kind of looks at me like, you know, like I could see things going through her head.
And the one thing that goes through her head, I think, is like I just I got to break up with them.
Break up with her. No, she wants to break up with me. Oh, she's thought. Yes, yes. That's a thought, right? Yeah. No, all the time. No, no. But she's told me that's a thought.
It is. She's just said before there's moments in her life where she thinks, what would it be like without.
Yeah. Yeah. And and I say it would be sad if you lie about your wife. Yeah, me too, yeah, me too, yeah, but I get it. But the good, the bad. And of course, of course, because you know what I always go down to is like, all right. You know, fresh pea. Fresh pea. You know, if he is right, you're strange is what we call it.
And we call it fresh meat. Fresh pea sounds you just like urination day.
Oh, fresh pea. Yeah. No, strange is what you're talking strange. B it's the same, it's the same P from Fresh Pea. Oh right. Right. Well you might my. So what's fresh pea. Yeah. What do you do. My penis is potassium. Yes exactly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
So you're saying strange new strange new pupu is NewBay. Yeah.
Fresh implies you know, I mean you don't, don't, don't go there. I'm not just cut yourself off at that pass. Let's not go there. OK. Yeah. Take it in reverse. Yeah. And then go back to the other bridge.
Somebody in their mid twenties could be fresh.
New P new new and strange but not fresh. All right. So what is it anyway. Yeah. So I always think that I mean, hold on one second.
There's a telemarketer calling me right now. A yellow. Hello. Hello. I had a politician call me early on in the car who called you, it was a senator. What's the guy that Rand Paul know? Not Ron Rand Paul called.
You know, now it was just me, but Rand Paul, Bobby Lee, because he's given him money before me, a leader in the Democratic Party, not Chuck Schumer, but the other guy, Epstein Epstein, the guy who died in jail, who's in Congress right now.
That's a leader, I don't know Google who's who's in Congress. That's a leader. Well, that's such a vague term. But he's big. He's big. He's like Schumer.
No, I just said that Chuck Schumer, the other guy, who's the other guy, 4G, LTE, 4G, Rob, he's a fucking nut.
He's not a political he's a lead Democrat. Oh, they're Mike Schumer. Mike Shool, not Mike Sual, dude. Bernie, that's not. Know go to judge.
Forget it then what. Know what branch of government is he in. For real. Ed. Oh he's a senator. Yeah. He's like the president, you know. I mean he's like the leader. He's I like the leader of type in this directly.
He's a Democratic leader, that's like the president of the center, always in the Senate. Yeah, Democratically. That's in the Senate. He's a Democratic leader. That's in the Senate. Exactly. And then what else, Bobby? That's it. Put in there and then. Right. That's it. Put it in there. Sentiment Senate, move to the photos, go to images, go to Chicago.
That's the guy. That's the way he'll he'll be able to pick the photos.
No, no. That's Chuck Schumer, the first one.
I know who they are. Go down, go to hiden. And I know by both of them. Go down. Go down. Go down.
Go down. Go down. Go down. Oh, how about that, Mitch McConnell? I had no idea he's Republican, go down. He is. Oh my God. It's not Schumer now. Yeah. OK, slowly scroll down and see, so I got to Mitt Romney. No, no, no, I'll tell you who it is. Sit down. How do you know that? Right. Is it Royce West, the black guy? Is it him?
No. John Cochran. Our Lindsey Graham, Lindsey Graham. This is tough. No, it's not. I don't know why, but when you say one of the guys which what are the guys there? What is a leader mean? What does a leader mean?
It's like if I see the Rolling Stones with two guys, you come Freddie Mercury and Mick Jagger. Yeah, fucking the guy who smokes a lot with the fucking fucked up fingers fucked up face. Richard.
Richard. Richard. Richard. Richard Gere. No, Ritchie Valens. Really. You know what?
I'm talking I know exactly you're talking about.
I just can't find who's the who's the most famous. Yeah. Most famous current Democratic senators. There you go. And who are they? List of current United States senators. OK, I want to know what he's going to he doesn't know what he's doing.
This is what I like about it. That's part of the fun that he doesn't know what he's doing, isn't that part. All right. Here we go. OK, Kamala Harris. Patrick Leahy.
That's Patrick Leahy, is that he wants to go down, go down, Chuck Schumer, Dick Durbin, Patty Murray, Debbie Stabenow, Mark Warner, Elizabeth Warren, Amy Klobuchar, Bernie Sanders, Joe Manchin, Cory Booker, Tammy Baldwin, Gary Peters, Catherine Cortez Masto, Jeff Merkley or Brian Schatz. Minority Mitch. No, no, that's those are Repub stupid. So we just named off all the Dems, so nobody called me, nobody important me, I know he has is is not on it.
I you make it.
Can you just make it up? Let's say Cory Booker called, so it wasn't like it wasn't him. But anyway, make them cut it. So I'd go like this. Can we go back to the Cory Booker called the dog story. We didn't finish it. No we. All right, let's do it now. Look, there's Cory Booker.
He called you. It wasn't Cory Booker, man. OK, man, then finish the dog story. So anyway, so I'm now late like I called you and I go, you politely called.
I go, do you know I told you I explained the situation.
What did I say? No big deal bad. I said nobody is a dog. It was surprising to me because I was just like, wow, Andrew's really being like, not Andrew, you know, in a very difficult time. But then you pulled in, Andrew. No, I didn't. Let me finish my story no, no, let me tell my side of the story. No, I'm not done with mine. OK, all right.
In a testimonial thing in court, everyone has their chance. You think they would let you in court? They would let me test to make sure you have to wear adult clothes to court. You can't dress like a child and take for being so funny and grow up because we're into right now going to a different audience.
Right. You're being extra mean and then all you're trying to showcase.
I know they don't know. Stop showcasing. I'm not. Yeah, you are.
So I finish your story. I won't finish it, but don't point at me again. All right. So here's the deal.
Right. So, you know, I thought, oh, Andrew's being cool and shit, right? So that I get in my car, I'm in traffic, I'm stressed out. But, you know, I go, you know, it just I'm glad Andrew's not calling because, you know, that's what he would normally do.
Yeah. And to freak me out. But he's not doing it because he's. No. And then you fucking called.
Why did I call? Now here's my side of the story.
And when I called it wouldn't answer three times you answered we couldn't hear you. Nadav is proof Nadaf, correct?
Yes, it did. So all I was calling to say was, hey, can we get just a little ETA from you? Why you're here? Because they need to know.
I don't know. I know I care.
But I'm your I believe why they believe you're here because you're not going anywhere. You know, just let me finish these two guys. They pay these guys to be this thing. Right? So listen. And I'm there. I'm the lifeline to you. They can't call you. They'll get hit. These guys hit them. They hit them. And so they'll hit these guys if they bother you. So I say, let me just check and see how far he is far out.
So they get a good estimate of time of how far out you are, right? Yeah. So I called and I said, hey, Bob, you go ahead.
I'm on my way. And I said, all you need because what? Give me a time.
I was just let me just say my last point now. Go ahead. All right. My closing statement. Yeah, OK. Is that these two I don't I've seen them before because I've done the other things here.
What Dr. Walsh. Dr. Drew here. Dr. Drew. And I've done my mom. Yeah. Yeah, I did all that right. And I mean, I, I'm very familiar with them. Right. But I know they also are, you know, comedy comic friendly comic friends because they're in the business.
Right. So we're like they're not like fans right there. They work amongst us, their peers, and they understand how it all works. And some people get late. Correct. We're going to leave.
Can I tell you something? Yeah. Nadaf told me we've never had a guest be late to the studio except for Robert Lee. He said, you're the only one that's ever been to. That's that's insane.
Enough. Has anybody else been late to the studio like Robert E. Lee has? No. No, you're a lawyer. No, he's not I don't know you never know if we've met like four times. You've met him like six times. I know. That's why I said his name. You said you said Neverov.
What's the name?
I actually want you to guess it. I want you to meet Navid. Yeah. Nivi Nivi. Yeah. Nivat, Nevada. Yeah. No, not Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. Yeah. You're close enough. What is it. Nadaf. Nadav. Nayda. Ridiculous. Why. I've never heard of that fucking ridiculous you know. Or he's never heard of a nidaa. What's his last name.
Be careful with you. He's Jewish. Be careful ok. I've no idea who his uncles are.
I've heard of it. Yeah. They put your last name. It's Squid's Moscowitz. So Jewish. Holy shit.
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I mean. Oh my God. Oh my God. Warner Brothers is calling. Hello.
Wow. OK, yeah I'll tell them. Yeah, you're never going to work with them ever again. Hmm, that's funny. Wow, OK. Yeah, I would deal with them, but the funny Tom just called me. Let's call Tom real quick. Let's just check in with these guys. I hope he doesn't complain. Yeah. Hey, hey, man, this is a shit show.
It's so rude. It's so rude. What's the problem? Everything's a problem.
The fucking chairs. Yeah. Hold on. Put it up to the budget and put it up to the mic. You know, I come in here, dude. I come in here, dude. Right. And I fucking speak English. Oh, that's very funny. I come here.
Right. And I say hi to the larger guy that works here. Yeah. Whatever the guy. The Rotunda. The circle. Right. And then I come in here, I say, hey, Nevada. Right. Right. To the guy. Other guy, the Jew. Right. So nice. Even though I was 20 minutes late. So nice already. Right. 30 minutes late. Right. What are you doing over there? That woman in there.
Her name is Jules. She's she's my daughter.
Pretty much. They're trying to steal her food. They want to take away food out of her family's mouth. Hey, guess what. What? Vertical integration principles apply. Let me talk to Jules, this is warranted. Yeah, that's like the only that's OK.
And so that's how are they? They're really kind of run run right out of their run. All right, they're fucking do they're not kind. Do you really like them? Really?
Everything is good. Oh, my God. They have a gun to your head. She's fucking right there. Tido She's tied up.
They have you tied up, OK? Oh, hey. She's dead, Bobby.
Yeah, well, that's our thing. We do that to people. It's time we hang up on people. It's and we did it last week. Right. It's a comedy. One on one right there. Yeah. So they're hackie. And, um, yeah.
It's like when you're on stage you go, hey, don't talk while I'm doing my said I don't go to bed. Not not your mind your ass. Yeah. Put a dick back in here. Yeah. I don't do that. I go to McDonald's and put a dick in your butt. Yeah. Yeah. There was a guy named Dietary but. But Peterson. No. So there was this guy named Peter Chen who who's he was like the first Asian comic at the Comedy Store, like one of the first bring up Peter Chen.
Are you going to love comic comic. Is that him? That's him right there. So he was one of the first. He was one of the first when I came here, he came up to me and goes, what he crushed, by the way? No, he know he does it. He can't understand it. He has a very thick accent. But when I first came to Congress, he, me and I got. All right, you guys, I get to come here.
Oh, he didn't want you to go. Whoa, what's up? You know, I don't want pay regular here. You're not. I go. I am paid regular. Holy fuck. I make a political right, that kind of guy. And I come on stage and what I loved about him, I respected him.
After this, he makes up his own comeback's toward hecklers. What do you mean? Like he makes it up and they don't make any sense. But because they're so ridiculous, they're funny. Get a haircut. Let me because. Shut the fuck up, Ali. Because if you don't, I'm going to put you on a rocket ship and ship you to the moon. It's terrible, terrible. You're going to go to the moon.
I know. OK, and it would die.
No one would write, but the comics in the back would be loved. If it was so dumb.
So would you would you guys drag him on? Would you ever yell from the back of the room just to get a more mad? You guys never did that. Did you ever fuck with him because he was one of those like, you know, I could kill people to you.
Just snap your head. He seems like a snapper. I mean, look at his photo, bring up his photo again. Peter Chen, he does look a little bit dangerous.
Look, there's something about that photo that was back in the day when, like, all you had to have was an accident on stage and you were in New York.
And you're right. You going to deal? Yeah, I probably went to Montreal his first year. You know what? But you you he was a you know, he did it.
Can we play one of his clips, go to his videos. Let's hear what he did. Let's hear some of them. Let's see what he's doing right now is stand up. Funny POV from Asian comedian Peter Chen is for 2015.
And I need to put your headphones. I'll hear through Bobbi's. Nope. Well, your headphones.
All right, go ahead, go ahead and U.S. citizens as many years, and the longer you become a citizen of any country. I try to look like the people of the country.
That's why I'm looking for more like Mexican. Is that not your joke? I don't write that joke fucking, but I feel like that's your job. Not my doctor. I look more my skin. I look at my Mexican. I don't see. That's your job. It is my job.
Oh, my God. That's my opener. That's my opener. Like Peter Chen. No, I like Peter. But that's how I don't want to make fun of. I just want to do somebody. But that was pretty much a nominee.
And that was 20 years now. Yeah. Other was twenty. Fifteen. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty recent. But you think, by the way, I'm being serious when I say this. Yeah.
You know, what's the what's the number about. Huh. Oh hide the number. Hide the number. What is it about.
That's when Nedved has to pray, you know, right up. Every so often they put the carpet down and do the whole thing. Yeah, he's got to pray. All right. So is that how much we've been doing it? Yeah. They put that up there.
Please take it off, because now in my head, I'm like, I don't know if we can do the time. Yeah. Yeah. What's that. That's that's the that's dog Heimlich stuff. We were Lenoy. You know that he does pray in the middle of the show. He makes them stop. Sometimes we can pray to Mecca. Do you know that?
I don't think it does. Yes, he did. Up do you do you stop and pray sometimes. See. Oh, so you're really religious.
I double like I'm like on the weekends I go on Friday I met this guy.
What did I run into? I ran into you at the airport. Where were you going. I was going to Jerusalem. Jerusalem told you I've been there. Yeah, but he's Jewish.
I'm just saying it's going to Jerusalem. Does it mean you're like devout Jew? I've been there. Why don't you go? They just said you want to go to Jerusalem. Invited you. I'm being real.
They rang you up and said, no, I got a call because you go on Birthright. No, I know. A couple of years ago I get a call saying, hey, they had this program where they they want to send groups of like actors and stuff to Jerusalem for free non Jewish actors.
Yeah. And yet to just tweet about it. So this time they go, we want to do minority comedians. Right. So I was George Lopez, Steve Byrne, that type. Right. Continue. Who else was on it? Jimmy Chung, which is an actress who was there. Yeah, her her husband, Brian Greenberg is an actor. I know who he is. He went and nice people. Friends. Brian's Jewish. Yeah. Is Jewish, but yeah, he's Jewish.
And we went out there and the only problem was they made you everyday tweet pro pro Israeli things.
Right. Like Jews are the best. Yeah. Yeah. Jewish people. Yeah. And Palestinians are the beast or whatever.
You're doing that while.
I know but like you know and you got so much hate on the other side. Do you have a lot of Palestinian followers. No, but just people are like, I can't believe that you're out there, you know, with this propaganda machine and all that kind of stuff.
Right. Right. And I yeah, that's it does sound that way. Yeah. It sounds it sounds like you almost got a cult. I got kicked out.
I almost got kicked out because one time oh there's two funny things happen. I almost destroyed my friendship with Steve Byrne.
Why. Because they have this so there's like a nine mile line to see the slab where Jesus Christ died, where his body is. Is that right?
Yeah, they have it in the slab.
What, like it's like what, you know, when they cut off Braveheart's nut sack, that kind of thing. Right? Yeah.
So look at the Jesus. Oh, Golgotha. Golgotha. Yeah. So that's it right there. That's where you went to the slab. Yeah, the slab. So we have to go. Go with that. Right.
OK, you went to the Golgotha right there and I got Jerusalem and I never left Horder.
I literally almost died from laughter. So I'm like we get to the thing. I'm like, that's it. Right. And I go, where Steve Guy with Steve Byrne right here.
And I look on the ground and Steve is dropping like this is trembling. And I go, I laughed so hard so. Oh my God, it was great. That was so ridiculous because he believed dude. Yeah, it doesn't it's not real because he's half caf, it's not real and half whatever. So then here's another thing. Look at these mikes.
So I was real, real top notch operation. I've got run in here. Flippen. Break it up this way. Crack it up this way, cracked arm up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just make the elbow go up this way. Oh, yeah. Look at how ominous looking at is, Bob. Look at how minus flip the mike up. There you go.
Yeah. There you are. Perfect. Now towards you. Here you go. Good boy.
Good boy. Good boy. You want a Red Bull now?
I have something here, boy. Don't talk to me like that. Oh, boy. Bobby, I'd never used this before. I know. Well, it was really used. I think everyone just saw that. So, um.
So he was praying to the clock, to the galab.
He was using the natural course and that was kicked out because this is not so funny. And I a lot of Christians will be mad about it. But I didn't know. Say it. So they're like taking us to these spots, right, and this is what I smoked heavily, like I smoked a pack a day. Yeah. So we go into this room, right. And it's there's no windows. Right. It's like, you know how like there's no like it's just kind of like an old place.
So I just kind of light a cigarette inside, like a like a historical like I don't know what it was, but I just got a cigarette. I'm leaning against the wall. Right. Like, excuse me, this is where the Last Supper was.
You smoked in the last in the room and I threw it down. I tell you the fucking last supper, I got my bad and they're like, don't do that. I'm fucking I grabbed it. And so they're really mad about that. Can you Google Asian man smokes in Last Supper Room. That's it. That's where you went, huh? Wow, that's beautiful. Right there, that's it right there. Great, right there, right there. That's it.
That's it. Yeah, that yeah. That one. No windows. Yeah. You just lit up a fucking squeegee in there. No, there are windows on those that you just thought it was.
Chill the light up in there look. Got it. What. Why. It's like an alleyway. Well if you walked into any place that you would fucking like, you know, I mean. I mean to this.
I mean it does. It does. He said he's got it. He should open up with the hey, this is where the left because he tried to save it.
They wanted to bring us in, I guess where we are, who, where. And we're like, where, you know?
I mean, so if they would have opened with we're going into the place where they I would have fucking done anything. Right.
Don't you think somebody smoked in that group? Oh, I'm sure he had 12 disciples, 13 something somebody had to light up after a meal.
Somebody had some fresh wasn't there one to a click on the click on the painting of the Last Supper there.
Two pictures over. Yeah.
That looks nothing like the room that that was thousands of years ago. But I mean, they didn't change it, didn't fucking update it didn't get a facelift.
That's the same spot that you see. I know. I don't know. So they didn't they just that painted that's another thing.
Is this like how do you know. Yeah. They could best guess. Right. Someone just said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, this is that's even the other thing that we're the way they legis its best guess situation, you know. I mean so we don't even know the stuff. I don't trust it either. That's like when you rent that's what makes it what's deboned.
It was more ridiculous. Yeah. Like it's nothing. He bought it. Yeah he bought it. That's how when you rent an apartment in L.A. and they try to they're like, oh, you know, Sean Hayes used to live here. You're like, what? What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. You could just be lying to me also.
I don't care. What is it? He was there. What does it matter that that was a thing? I don't understand going back to places that they're not sure of. If that was the spot, you know, you're not in my building.
I used to live on Beachwood in that condo and they're selling point was Reid's brother lives here.
Uh, well, that is cool. And it's pretty cool. Right. But that he did because he's a drunk and he would always be passed out in the in the hallway.
That's true. Rest in peace. No, he's not that she she died, is she? Not that I know. Does she die Google if she's dead, I think to her rights to life. Is she alive? Why did I think she died in my stupid terrorists.
The lottery is just right dead now. See if that comes up. Terri did. She's. Is she see model killed by what, she's not dead. I thought she died. Oh, it's a hoax. Oh, I bought into the hoax, would you think that? I thought it was her. I swear to God I thought she died. I swear to God in my life. No, she didn't die. Avril Levine died. She did.
Oh, see people people see people read online trolls, you should Dynex everyone wants her mother's heartbreak. Oh, that's terrible. Not that well. See, I saw death in her name on something. Then I tell you, that's not why you literally thought she was dead.
I did think she was here, but I don't know. Yeah, but I don't, you know, so I've been to Israel. So happy you're alive, Tara. I just wanted to clear that up. Yeah. No, no, I didn't know. I didn't feel feels good. I'm sure she watches.
What's a tuberose want to do what. I want to talk about fat fuck and the the weak. That's what I call now. The weak. Yeah. OK, Tom Sagara the week.
Oh. Oh my God. My arm. Now how can you lower the basketball here.
Do you see what he was doing like when you saw it. It's like, it's like such a bitch the best.
But he's like oh no. But he did this like yes. You know, it hurts. And he's like he blew out his leg. I'm going to I'm glad he's OK, though, huh?
I'm fine. I honestly, in a piece of me wish he was in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. A piece of me wanted him to be totally crippled. Think how many more jokes they'd get out of that. They'd get a hold couple of more seasons of this bad show because of that.
Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean. Well, I would rather be Burt crippled. Yeah. Why? I don't because I think he would like to be funny hip for him to call you for alcohol.
He could get himself so you'd have somebody feeding him.
Yeah. Yeah. But there you go. We're glad, they're glad we're we're glad they're real good. I really do like those guys a lot. I like one of them more than the other. Which one? You know. You like I'm not going to say you like me. Yes, I like you like better than dirt. I'm not going to say it, I'll say it. You like Tom better than say who I like better or who do you like?
But I think about it. I think I like I trust Tom more than. Well, yeah, I mean, that's not even that much. I don't know if it's that's crazy, but that's not a crime.
When they come to the house, they popped into my house. There's a little bit more excitement when it's coming over, though, because you don't know what's going to happen.
Yeah, because he he could have an incident. Something could happen. Yeah. Like I could like Burt might have a heart attack at your house. And that's a good story. It's a good story.
I also believe that him and I have the same weight now that the gay thing that he's. You think Burt's a little thirty five percent. You think he's thirty five percent maybe. Really do you. Yeah, he is. Because when I because I laid next to a photo on Netflix on the Netflix show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw it. Yeah. Literally everybody saw. Yeah. Yeah. And. He thrusted just to get in position, yeah, like he didn't say excuse me, you know, like if you weren't gay, this photo.
Right, and you are thrusting forward. Can I tell you something?
Yeah. It looks like you're scratching yourself, but I know you're holding your genitals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's how insignificant your genitals are that it just looks like you might have an itch. It doesn't look like you're like holding on to anything, it looks like, oh, you're itching your leg and then I look closer. I was like, no, he's concealing his genitalia. I have a small penis. No, you don't have a small penis.
I actually thought I know I'm telling you right now, we've seen each other's penises.
I don't have a small penis. You have small balls, though. You have very small testicles. But why are they so small? I wonder. There's no fluid inside.
You drained them. Maybe because they're smaller than I thought. They they're they're like. They look like raisins. Little black. Well, they're honestly the size of grapes. They're probably the size of a real grape.
They let me describe a California John Edwards testicles. They really do because they're dark one because they're not sexy are my nuts.
And he goes, dog, you're you're you're not sick is darker than do it the way he would do it. That's that's that's ridiculous. Now, that's why you're not sick is so dark.
But I think the bird is Bobby. The dog is not the police dog. Bobby got the dog. It's not Sacramone. This hurt.
It's uncomfortable. That's ridiculous. You know, this is a good week to do Asian accents.
Yeah, this was a great week to do it. No, just say I'll do my best.
I'll tell you what to say. Man. In Asia, in Asian accent, say, I love Atlanta, Georgia. Please, please say your. Yeah, this episode is sponsored by Bridezillas, say, I love Atlanta, Georgia. Come on, we'll keep it out.
We'll be able to get out just for me, please. They're going to take that out anyway. I had a bad day. I know they will. So just do it because they can take it out.
You guys have to take it out. But do it.
But take it out. Now they're going to leave it. No, no, no.
Don't you understand this, since we're going to take it out. Make it, please. So fucking racist. Go just go overboard and make me laugh. This is just for you. Yeah, you you're just for me, please. Me take it's going to get taken out.
Promise? Yeah. Promise. Boys. Yes, they're writing, they're leaving it and just do it, you know, I cannot I'm not going to do I can't fucking it out, please. I'll see the N-word there. I'll see the N-word.
And they're going to edit out, OK, say the N-word at the same time. I do it. No, no, you. Because you cut it out. Right, right. Now, do you hear that hesitation? We did.
We do. We did. We did. Do apologize. I told. I told.
I told. I told Nadaf. I told him. Oh, you're talking about when we had our show, the first podcast.
So I mean, Andrew one day said, oh yeah, let's do a podcast. We'll never air. And we can say whatever we want. But you got to context. What happened was we were going to do the first episode of my whiskey ginger show that I had ever done and we got together. And you were in a really bad mood. Something bad had happened. You know, whenever something bad happens, I just get you gotten in in a bad mood.
Yeah. Yeah. And then you said, OK, well then what if we get together and I don't want to air it, but we'll, we'll make them. It'll be the most wretched, foul, disgusting, dark on inappropriate shit we've ever done. And we sat for maybe two hours. Yeah. And I never released it. And I have the podcast at my house and to this day I don't know what will ever do with it, but I think we should reduce it to yeah, I think we should raise charity money.
If it gets to a million, nobody will get canceled for charity.
What if it's for sick kids? If it's for sick kids, well, how can they get mad at how are they going to clip it up? And then all of a sudden it's like they're going to hurt a little faces.
This charity has to be something that we made fun of in the show. Right. And we'll do a charity for all those people. NAACP charity. It sure is. So we'll give it to them.
We'll definite have to give them something.
When we say the N-word a lot, we have to give them some money and then we have to do any gay thing, a gay movement. We got to support them.
Yeah, because every time we say that a lot and we talk about we were very like, well, you're angry with all your anti-immigration. You are you are big on. Yeah. Foreigners coming into this country. I don't like it. Don't like it. Yeah.
And uh, look now at the podcast is insane and I wish one day we could just release it. But you know how it works. Yeah.
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It's really because you're still trying to get on SNL. I mean who knows. I'm trying to say no you're not. No I thought you are. You're the one that went out there. That was years ago. I'm not trying to go back. But you went out there.
You told me you still wouldn't go. You you said you'd still want to go. I'm fifty.
Are you really? Yeah. I told the boys that they didn't believe you. Unidad, that's a big compliment because I said Bobbi's almost fifty this year and. What did you say, Nadav said, wow, he looks great while he looks. Thank you so much. What a great guy. It is a great guy, but my butt.
I know. But, you know, I think a lot has a lot to do with how young I look is the stress level. You don't have a lot of stress. I try not to have a lot of stress. You know why?
Because you don't adhere to, like, a normal schedule that adults would adhere to.
Yeah, I generally wake up when I when I wake up, you know, I woke up today about 1:00, maybe one o'clock. Yeah. Yeah. Very lax. I didn't go to bed until dude. Well, you don't drink booze or use drugs, so.
And that makes your face look like this.
Like you said last night on American Idol. Did I ever. You know how much I love it. I love American Idol, Dualeh, sort of God, yeah, I really God I love it, but I can I just say something pro about a movie I just saw.
Yeah. That and this is not funny enough for comedy's sake. Yes.
You've seen their show. It's not common to tried that. I know. That's why I was like not even stressed like I had talk. Yeah. This was funny. I was like, I don't know.
Whenever I watch this show we already the fucking twenty five minutes kill their show, crush, crush our show, because these two guys just get on here and they're like, oh OK.
Have you ever eaten gummy bears. Yeah. Yeah that. Oh boy. Do you like it. Yeah. Oh yeah. And then they cut to an ad. Yeah. That's the whole show. That's what it is. So I saw Zack Snyder's Joe the Court of Justice League. Do you see it.
I didn't watch it, but it's on my arm. I do. You guys see it. It's on my HBO. Yeah.
What do you think?
I thought it was watchable. I thought it was way better. Yeah.
Because the first one I walked out of the theater. I got to the point where the Josh Wheadon one where I was just like, what was the whole point, though? They said Snider's was never going to get released and then they finally agreed to release said no.
Zack Snyder was directed the movie. I know. And then his daughter committed suicide.
We know. We know what happened. I'm saying his cut was never supposed to come out.
So he leaves the movie, right? Josh, we go right. It's obviously he's like, you know, he doesn't know the vision. Right. He has a bunch of, like, information in an editing bay. Think how hard that's got to be.
So hard to come into a show. I'm not. Do I think Josh White is so fucking talented. But sometimes look at me, sometimes someone can come into a show and make it better. The original. Original. Yeah, but in this case and in that case, it didn't and in this case it did.
But anyway, Zack Snyder version, did you like, though not not just like you loved, not even just love.
I've seen it twice already and therefore it's four hours long. Really. Yeah. You have already seen it twice. You watch it back to back, not back to back. I saw it and I tried to tell everybody about it. Guy got I got to go home and watch and then I a couple of days like I saw it again.
What do you think is so good about it. What makes it better than what makes it what makes it cut into chapters. Right. Right, right.
So it's almost as if it could have been released as a show.
Right. Right. And they had like a like a series. Yeah. Really. It's like that. Yeah.
And I think that the last the epilogue. Oh, are you OK? Are you all right? Yeah, well, I don't know what happened. It's all right. OK, let's just get you some more. Thank you. It's a. It's about. OK, good boy. So as a series, the epilogue, go ahead, what are you saying, you could have been a series, you could have cut the epilogue of that last part, but.
So what Eppalock means, I don't know. OK, yeah, so I'm not smart enough to know what does that me epilog means there?
It's the it means it's the section at the end of the book.
It's a very that's what it's so that's what it was. That's the epilogue of it. End right. Yeah. They could have cut that out but there was some cool things in it but it could have been a series. And number two, you know, they really got into cyborgs, character and his history.
And you didn't like that? No, I loved it, OK, because in the movie it's so brief it they just show him, you know, they just hooked up. Right, and he's right. And then nothing much about it. Right. Right here. You see, you know, he played football in his relationship with his mom and his dad.
And that's cool. You know, I mean, yes, I know all that stuff.
And it also shows his he has heart. Like it does, it humanizes him, humanizes exotica. I think that you're Wonder Woman looks great. Who is that again?
Cocobolo. It's Calzado Gobodo and she's one of. She said she's in an avowed you know, I have yeah, what she's she's a she's about in Nevada. She doesn't have enough shit. I know she is. And this is why I think she is because I was in a movie called. Harold and Kumar keep them up, keeping up with the Joneses. Oh, I saw that a minute. Are you really you didn't know Bobby Lee and keep it up with the Joneses.
Bobby Lee in keeping up with the Joneses. I didn't know you were in the movie and I saw it. Where are you? Where are you, but I'm in the movie. It's not in any of the images, there you are. Yeah, is that you, like a little Korean poker player or a movie that's a different movie? Oh, yeah. Well, we don't see you on this because I keep going there. No, no. Go up to the top.
It's got to be one of the first things. Do Bobby Lee keeping up with the. Yeah, Cut-and-paste. Good boy. Uh, Bob, how come I don't see you in any of these images? Were you really in this? Yes. What was your what was your if you look if you go to my hey, calm down. What was the if you go to my Instagram, what was the name of the role? Was God. OK, so it wasn't private.
Now the story. Forget the story now because you're just irritating me. No, no, no, no.
I want you to because now you got me in a fucking thing where like I did, I don't think I was in it. I got you.
Maybe you weren't worried. You weren't. Bobby Lee, IMDB.
Let's click on that and let's see what he acted in. And I just don't see keeping up with the Joneses on their. Is it a movie you watched and wanted to be in? Was it like that? Here it is. There it is. Ricky Lou. Ricky Lou. All right, so what happened? Well, it's not mine. Now, come on in a moment. Come on. Because you have you have to you have a tendency to do that.
Come on, baby. Anyway, I saw Gangadhar because she's in the movie. OK, you saw Delgado and what I waved or she didn't really wave back. Oh, I don't think she saw me. You think she just did, you know? Did you say hello?
Maybe I was so nervous. What was your scene with? With Johnny Ham.
How hot is he? Oh, my God. Holy shit. Is that guy a babe? I've seen him once and with Zach Galifianakis. And you know what? Here's the thing about Zach. I want to say out loud. It was you and Zach. Zach are in the scene. Yeah. With Jon Hamm. And here's what to say. So I haven't seen Zach since he made it. From 2009. Yeah, yeah, so I haven't seen him since he did The Hangover, right, because I started with them, right.
We did open mics and stuff back in the day in the 90s, going so fast. He took off great and very happy for him.
He deserves literally every plot. I you know, when you you don't know how what if people change or if they're going to change because of the success?
You don't know. Right. So, you know, I book the movie I fly to I think it was Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm in Atlanta and. As soon as I get off the bus to get on the set, he sees me, he runs across the set in front of Jon Hamm and everybody and gives me a hug to make me feel at home like I'm like a big deal and that I'm welcome, you know, and I like those little things, you know? I mean, like, if you were single and I was super famous and you laid all the time, you'd be getting a lot of pay.
OK, you start out with fresh pay, fresh.
Sorry, but that's the kind of guy he is.
He made you feel really at home. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'll tell you who else got me laid.
Who else. Chris Rock. Finally, yes, I tell you, I tell you sorry, I don't know, I so it's broke. Oh, Tom just called me. What fat. OK. Oh what a day. Yeah. Yeah.
So these guys got a lot of nerve calling us and I think they call Bernell. I'll tell you why they're uncomfortable. They can't do it like we can.
They don't know how we can go to a new environment and just explode right there, over there going, what do we do? These guys go to work when they're doing it.
Maybe these guys. I have a feeling that these two. Yeah. Navid in the rotund. Yeah, right. That they have a lot to do. Uh, hello. Oh, my God.
Look what came out of my mouth. Oh, my God. What the fuck is that was stuck in my throat the whole fucking time. Oh, my God. Tom. Tom. Bobby just hooked up what looks like a tonsil stone. That's that's no shit. I'm not kidding. It's that the size of like an Eminem.
Hey, that's huge. It's on your table. I know it was in my throat the whole time.
What's up, Rudy? Just it won an Oscar. She is. She's an actor, man. I know. We know. We know that already. We know how old she is. By the way, the crew over here is loving us.
And and they even said to us, like, this is a completely different level, guys, a new level. They said, you guys are leveling up. Yeah.
So we're like, I know she we dumb it down a bit, you know, Nikonov Nicole said, slow down a little bit. You guys are crushing way too hard for the time.
Like he's like usually to go to a movie review to slow it down. Yeah. Let's go slow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, listen, we need to make some shows. Go ahead.
But I feel like Rudy's ten times the actor Bobby.
I feel like it's going to cause some problems.
Oh his face just Raiola with the face just dropped along with the. I love it. It's not going to affect my God. It's not going to how he's touching his face. But he's nervous. He's nervous. It touches his face. Oh, my God. He when he gets sad, he touches his face.
Why doesn't he ask her for help? Yeah, that's really funny.
Oh, dude, you're getting that Tom talking. He's going to sell the horror movie he did. Oh, what was a horror movie. Oh yeah. OK, ok. OK. What did he just say. Sanitiser playing.
Pretty racist shit. But you know what?
I might be on the table. Bobby says he wants to poop on the table. I pee on the table, pee on it. Bobby can be great. It's so fun.
We should switch partners maybe a one time. Yeah.
Tell the what. He's listening. Is he listening?
Yeah, he can hear it. Yeah. His phone's ringing.
Pick up your phone, Halvard. Jesus, they want like sanitize the mix said, first of all, you guys got Corona now, I already had it.
Bobby is impervious that he can't get it impervious because, you know, they say if you're if you're blood type, his blood type is soy sauce. They can't get it if you have soy sauce.
But, yeah, it hurts. Oh, you might honestly, you might you might be able to get it. That's Berts, my 20th year, you know, my 23 minute. I tell you what it takes.
Yeah, I had. He's on my side. Yeah. Yeah.
He's disappointed that he's on that. You're on his side. Bobby's mad right now, he's pissed off that you said that about the acting. It's not that. It's just this is all just a waste of time. Oh, he thinks it's a waste dump. OK, all right. Hang up the phone. All right. Love you. Bye bye. Fuck, man. All right.
So what? So what? You're 23 and me said what we did. You're 23 and me. Didn't we do that? No, but no, but it does.
A new robot. They sent me a later email. Like an update of what you really 99 percent Neanderthal. Are you really? Are you serious? What's the one percent? What's the other one human, I don't know, regular, regular. Yeah. Wow. And I go. I cried, yeah, because that had that his heart yet, because I don't even know what it means and I don't know what it means either what is what is Neandertal?
It just means you're descended from the original. Oh, boy, what is it you bring up a picture of a guy in blackface, Nadaf. That's Bobby right there. Yeah, there he is. There's Bob.
Now, are you saying you go to the second photo harmony of those Homo sapiens Neanderthals? Do you think that looks anything like you? Can you put a side by side of that? And Bobby. Do you think perhaps that looks anything like you, because I do see some qualities of it. There it is. I think so, look at it, and his hair is tied up, just like your hair gets tied up, like, look, you already bring up a picture of Bobby Lee right next to a.
Now, put your know, put the bun at the top of your head, put the bun at the top of your head. Yeah, let's redo it because he has a bun right now. OK. Bob, it's pretty close. It's pretty fucking close. Let me see. Is it hard being fat enough to do that, looks just like they're going have to stare into that camera and they're gonna have to take your head and just put it next to that picture?
That's really good. No, go like this, it's looking you're looking away. So look at the camera, but yeah, exactly. That's that's pretty close, dude. That looks eerily similar. Yeah, he got it. Yeah, but I want to put this back on. But the reason why she brought it up, why? Well, first of all, she wasn't even going to tell me my girlfriend Kalala didn't want it. She gets all that.
My email still.
Does she think it was going to hurt your feelings? No. She goes, I have to tell you that I was going to share it with you. But you're not nine percent neutral.
I got what we've got to keep that to yourself, but she's like, no, but if you get covered, it's going to do is going to fuck you up more than normal.
Why would they fuck you up more?
That doesn't that doesn't make any sense. She says in the. In the pamphlet says Google, who gets covid the worst, who gets it the worst, what kind of people? The major genetic risk factor for severe covid-19 click on that oh. Oh, shit, Bob, this is you. What is that severe covid-19, the major look over the top of the major genetic risk factor for severe covid-19 is inherited from Neanderthals.
Holy shit, that's you. Yeah. covid-19 pandemic has caused considerable morbidity and mortality and result in the death of over a million people. Did manifestation of the disease caused by that go down to where it might say anything about why Neanderthal linkage?
Well, we're not a science part. Let's just. I'm just. There is. Yeah, but it is. Yeah, but take take take my word for it. My girlfriend, how bright she is, she's very smart. She's like, dude if because scarily smart. Yeah. And then it loses her smart points because she still she is with you. And it's strange to me because she's a very intelligent person but I guess they say, you know.
You've got to keep an idiot around, make yourself. What's so funny, because I had my ex-girlfriend on my podcast yesterday with my current girlfriend double down and they just rip me apart.
Well, yeah, that's your fault for walking in that fire.
Why do you give them ammunition?
But you kind of made me realize it's like, you know, I kind of. I should build a statue of me. I'll tell you why they replaced Robert E. Lee, nobody else. But there's just no reason why, right? If you really look at me. Yeah, right. The level of you know, I mean, girlfriends I've been able to have.
You're saying you like time like hitting it out of the park.
Yeah. You hit home runs. Yeah. And it's like that's why I always tell like I always go to ugly people on my shows. You find the ugliest and you go up to them, I don't worry about it, man. I'll go. I'll go. And they're like, what are you talking? I'm not ugly. I got yeah, man. You know, you you know. Do you think I remind them, you know.
Yeah. Exactly what you're trying to get. You're trying to say you're on their level.
No, I just got like, you know, sometimes I like if I see like an all go right guy.
You see a good old three out there. Right.
And there's a he's with another guy and they're just kind of sitting there and you're like, well, come. Yeah.
And I want to. And they look up to me. Yeah. Because I like you know, because you look like one of them. You, you look like you used to be one of them. I am still. No, you're different now. A little bit.
You got a little bit of money change. Yeah. So then I always tell them I go dude it's like it's our time. Peterman why is it our time to shine?
Who are the ugliest people at your shows. When I get people like this. What is that? And they go along, you know what I would eat, right, and I would go, you want to believe in what do you mean what is.
So you're an ugly. I know all. Now, what does that what does that guy.
What does that. I don't want to say what is it? Because we have to cut it out. I'm not going to say OK, I don't say it.
I get a lot. I don't I don't look like that, by the way. But I have to cut it out. But what what what what what percentage?
Because I never. What percentage of your fan base is Asian? Hmm, what percentage? It's weird because it's like over half know under half way under 20 percent, 30 percent even way under that.
Really, you think it's that low?
Yeah, because I remember, you know, Toronto is a heavily Asian populated place. Right. So is Vancouver and Vancouver. Right. And I remember like I played the Yakuza once. Yeah. And I don't know why the club owner said this to me, but he goes so strange. I go, what's strange? We sold out. I know, but I advertise in every Asian media outlet there is like I went down to Chinatown.
Yeah. Yeah. And I put up flyers, you know, they put me in a hotel in Chinatown, of course, to make me feel comfortable. Well, yeah. You want to be around your own. Yeah. Which was like so insulting. Why. Because I'm not Chinese fucker.
Yeah. But it's close enough. I mean that's true. Yeah. So anyway he goes there's like ten Asians here. He thought I mean every show. Yeah. Yeah. He's like because when we have Asian acts it's mostly all Asian.
Well like most like when Joe got when Coie like he's at his. Yeah. My audience is, is more like we're essentially you know, I mean whites, some whites a lot.
I get a mix of people know black people, they'll love them. They love me. You don't get black people. Oh my God. They love my comment below. If you're black and you like Bobby Lee, because I thought, oh, what am I saying? Like, I don't like this show.
Yeah, but black people in the racist is what we shouldn't about.
Black people really like milk. I get more black people on my show than you do for sure. That's not even. Let's make a bet.
The next show I go to, um, let's see here in Atlanta, I'll get black people in Spokane, Washington. OK, I do. You won't not like me. Yeah.
And I'll get the good ones. Leave it in. Every new one, I'll stand by. What could that even mean? I know we'll get out even. You know what? And I'll get the ones that come to my show on time. What can I do? No, no, no, no, no.
That's not what I mean is, is that and keep it in. Because I think that, you know, I think that every race has good ones and bad ones are. Do you think whites have good ones? Because you always said that we have no good ones. Oh, you have the Schindler's.
Do you think you Schindler's, like you think most whites are bad? You've said you I think lot here. Dude, I'm being honest with you and I want to say good things about why I was one of my best friends.
You should say something. I want to say something great about. Right. There's always a Shindler like a guy that like I know I cannot imagine, like, you know, when the Japanese were in those internment camps in the in the forties, late forties, forties.
Yeah. Yeah. That there was like a white guy that like, you know, smuggled in sandwiches underneath that helped them out.
Yeah. There was always one. There's a good side. And then you look at like, you know, like the civil rights movement in the 60s there were white. Yeah. There was like that white guys like I'm your guy man. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. And they'll they risk their bodies and their lives for the cause. They had like these bleeding hearts. And I just I love those types.
Those whites you like. Yeah. It's just not these to these type of different. Yeah yeah. Yeah. They have an ulterior motive. It's funny because these guys they do hide who they really are.
Yeah. You talk about it like Byrd is one of those guys where like I shouldn't say this, that this is not OK. But yeah, I ran into him in his neighborhood. Yeah. We don't live super far. We live kind of in a similar area.
And, um, he's he's off the back of his car. He's like out of like a razor blade and he's taking off a sticker, I guess what it is. Sure. Trump said, huh, Trump, No, now we'll say, well, let me say on the count of three will say because you know what it is, it's not an American flag.
It was a one, two, three Confederate flag per krischer has had a Confederate flag fucking believe, I swear to God. And he's raising it off. And I was like, what's up with that? And he's like, Oh, hey, dude, I was just doing it as a band. It was just a bit he said it was a prank.
I'm so glad you said that. Maybe I'm going to tell you what Houppert is. All right.
Yeah. Berts not a killer. A killer human being. If it was around in any century, who wouldn't kill? But he also not a murderer. He's not a murderer. Right. Right. But he also will let that slide, like, for instance, if he lived in Wisconsin next to again. Right. So, again, was one of those prolific, one of my favorite snorkelers, very prolific.
It's your it is your favorite. Every two weeks we talk about like, you know, and I think that it, like, knew about him. He would just be like, oh, that's his thing.
Yeah, it's cool. He's just cool. He's got his quirks, you know? I mean, I love to go hiking next week. He wouldn't report it.
No, he would not. Yeah, I know he would conceal a killer. He would probably conceal it. And and what would Tim do. Oh yeah. Tim was Sellier Cecillia Tim.
So I have to know who know its name is Sarah.
Tim McGraw. Sihe he.
I feel like he, he's just a regular, he might be a snitch, not just the snitch each snitch out again. This is nothing special about him really.
He's just like you know, I mean just what you say about white guys, you know, it's like, you know, you ever see I'll give you an example. You know, if you see a movie like Terminator or whatever, my favorite movie or any movie and, you know, like, you know, there's fighting in in a downtown area, right?
Oh, yeah. And they're right in the distance and extra we'll get electric. But, you know, you should see in the distance. That's Thompson. Right. Right. Like no one cares.
Yeah. He does have a story. Yeah. He's just this guy, you know. I mean.
Yeah, yeah I get that. Yeah I totally get that in.
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Keeps dotcoms taxpayers keeps dot com slash bears. Keep your hair and it's like I don't know how Christina fucks him huh.
Well from what I've heard uh I don't think, I don't think, I don't think she does because the kids. So that's a fact. Who knows that those are his kids. Well, first of all, one of those Puerto Rican I was like, whose kid is that? He's Mexican. No, he's Portuguese. Portuguese? No, he's from Peru. Peru, Peruvian. Is he Peruvian? Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Who is that? That said? Yeah, it was me.
Anthony who. Me and any. Oh any.
I think that's the one that was calling rotund the Black Eyed Peas.
I know any. Oh, I love you, man. I don't recall your attention. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Remember remember when you said you get the good black people to your show?
Yeah. Is he one of the good ones or one of the bad ones? And he's one of the good ones. He is, yeah, look at me in the face and say it honestly, he's not, is it? No, no. He met me outside.
He I can tell he met me outside. Well, he goes, hey, Santino right here. And he came out and I immediately locked my car. Yeah. I put my purse on the other side of my body.
When I came here, did you notice he didn't even look at me? He can't. He's not. I went straight here. Did you? I'll be honest. Any did you even say hello or how are you or anything like that?
No, I was in the middle of framing to answer your question. No, I did not.
Framing I was in the middle of these cameras are on sticks framing. It's like it's a shocking room. That's rude. It's rude. And I bet your money. That's why I'm not really on your back about calling me when I was on the freeway. Any I know. Not just them. Not that you did.
You had nothing to do with it, which is our new movie that has nothing to do with it.
Please, in theaters. It's not going to get distribution, but we're trying.
Yeah, no, he's really nice. Who is the other guy that's in there.
I didn't see the other guy had headphones on. It has backed. Wasserman is editing another one of Tom's poor.
Oh yeah. There's one in there I was so rude to because I was such a bad mood. Yeah. And he's trying to say I just walked right past. Who's that.
Who's in that room. Zane is in the room with Zane. Is he do right now. He's just helping out. He's right now he's logging. Is he an intern. You pay him or what. Yeah, we pay him, you know. You know what? This is this whole operation.
What this is like a front. This is like a front. There's these guys don't do shit. I know he's your filter.
You know, they're filtering non fungible tokens or so they're doing some illegal shit.
Yeah. Yeah. These guys are doing something. The nets that Tom and Christine are selling, our neutze, you know that they're doing NFTE nudes of them nude like baseball cards.
No, no, no. They are they're doing nudes like you can see the vagina. Yes, NFTE Neutze Tomasina, NFTE ineptitudes right here below Gaudette Atomic Vagina, NFTE nudes right here. If you click on the link right here. Don't don't touch that, please. How about this.
How about this. Don't don't put it near me. No, not because I'm gonna throw up. If you do, I'm going to I'm going to say this. This is the thing that came out of my mouth that was lodged in my throat. Is that a tooth? Is it. It's not. It's potato.
Mm. OK, so I'm going to say this, and this is going to be this really is going to see a lot this is going to say a lot for me.
And I swear to God, don't ask me to either, because I'm not going to fucking kill my mother's life. Don't ask me to eat because I'm not going to do it.
Can I just propose it first? All right, I swear to God, on my mother's life, OK, that if you eat this, I knew you were going to read it. It's so obvious when you asked me, do I understand that we ate each other's pubes too much? Not enough. Yeah, no, it's not for me.
This right here, if you ate this, I would have so much comedy fucking feelings for you. Like, I would think that you were like the funniest guy in a real warrior. And you know what's so disgusting?
This is a yes. And that I even considered it for a heartbeat.
I know there's a piece of my brain that just went well, you don't to chew on it, just stick in your mouth and swallow it. And I'm going to say right now, that makes you want a comedy master. And could the government tell you right now, I won't tell you right now I'm being real, right? You're saying Doug Stanhope would do it? Doug Stanhope would do 100 percent. Can't taste anything. Jim Jeffords and Jim Jeffords would do it.
Knowing what. Yeah, and just the fact that you don't think. I just don't even think about I just stick in your mouth and eat it.
Now, there's literally no way Jim Jeffries would do it.
All right? You're not a master and you'll never get there. Then let me hock something up from my throat all day with it. Go ahead.
If I throw up, I'm going to make myself throw up and you'll you'll lick some of my throw.
Yes, Jim. All right.
Hey. Hey. Me and Bobbie Lee are doing a podcast, and we have an argument. He said he said, OK, he just hocked up a piece of fucking food from this morning, this disgusting pig, a piece of potato. And he said, you're not mine. You're not a real friend and not a comedic genius unless you eat it here live on camera. And I said nobody would do that. And he said Jim Jeffries would do it because a hero, comedic genius.
I think you're one of the best comics.
I would do it, but sadly, I'm not in the room right now. So I said I'm not with the.
Such an idiot, you're an idiot. You would do it. I love you. I love you, too. Thank you.
Bye now. It broke apart, see? Just fucking eat it. No, don't get near me, don't fucking just fucking eat it. Get it away from this fucking thing to get it away from me. Eat it. I'm going to die tomorrow. Good. I hope you fucking die tomorrow because I'm not going to eat your I'm not gonna eat your breakfast shit. I'm not eating it. Sit down. Oh, God. Oh, my God, do something good.
So gross. It still has a potato flavor.
Take your shirt off for the last half of this podcast because people need to see what you're working with. Why do you say we didn't even do this bit of that, because I wore this to look like Burt and we never even did it.
Yeah, but people will get it. Yeah. Does he look fat on camera or no? Yeah, he looked a little look at that. God damn, you look good. You look good, you don't you know what's funny, you don't look fat, so, you know, it's like not a funny joke. You just look like you. Yeah. Would you ever take your shirt off and do sex on stage without your shirt like him?
I've been completely naked. Well, you can still talk. I've been completely naked on stage.
What are you talking about? Yeah, I know you have. And we're not doing that anymore. Right. Would it be weird if I peed on the table a little bit? I think you should do it.
Yeah. It's rude, it's not funny. It is rude. Don't do it. It is not funny. He said it is rude. The funny though. No, no entertainment value at all. Zero entertainment value. Do not be on the table.
OK, what if you pee in the cup? How about that? No, I'm not. No, don't do it. I'll bet he wants to. I was really going take a shit today on the table. So here's my thing is gross because it's like liquid and hard to clean up. But a little turd on the table is funny to me.
I agree that that that P is rude because it gets everywhere, but a little turd goes nowhere and stays where it is. I got to see if I want to call the dogs.
OK. Yeah, please. Do you mind. No, please. I don't mind. But let me tell you something. Yeah. And I hope they can't hear me right now. Yeah but those guys I seen the show. I can't even see it. It's not funny. It's like, here's the thing, isn't it? I was like, no, you don't lift anything out is like they fucking. They should cut a lot of it, you should write it.
They should fuck and they should have a staff writer or just get. Yeah, they should have writers write out what they should get. Some people that are like, oh yeah. Yeah. Like when you got you got by the way what you got to the same guy on the show. You got it. You got two guys like two of the same songs. Anyway, I hope they don't want to hear that. We love those guys out there.
Fucking great. All right. What have you guys got? You have preplanned bits for us. No, were you waiting for it? Yeah, they got bids for them, I was like, oh, do we get paid for my shirt back on? It's not worth no I like it.
I know. Because then you have to put a fat suit on. So you leave that off, please. Yeah, you don't have anything prepared for us, but you prepare for those fucking guys, why? Because you knew that we're better than them, that we'll just take it and run.
We don't prepare for two bears will cave. Oh, you don't prepare for it, you know, because there's not, like, prep stuff.
Like we'll have like a five minute sit down beforehand to be like, is there anything that's. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we don't either. All right. So it's I there on. Yeah. I mean, these guys are there certain things are going on in the world right now that are everything is sad right now.
That's a problem, you know, I mean, there's always like, you know, how about this?
I mean, I did predict Joe Biden falling down those stairs on Air Force One. I literally it on my podcast. It's so fucking funny because it's like I couldn't watch it him falling downstairs. Yeah. Because it's like, pull it up. I can't watch it. Why? It's so funny to watch him fall down.
I know, but it's like I'm going by the way. I know because I hated the last guy so much that I just want this guy to like you want him to walk stairs. He can't do it.
He's so old. He's so fucking old. This guy falls down stairs up he falls upstairs. This guy fell upstairs, by the way, Kamala Harris foaming at the mouth. She's like, Yeah, Joe, let's keep getting you on planes. She's loving this thing. If he goes, she's in. You can't tell me that. She's not excited about that. Here we go. All right, thank you so much for your service. I appreciate it.
So you're the best. All right. Cool. Thanks, man. Yeah. Yeah, OK. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. High. And then does the salute and then and then that, I don't know then and all of come on, somebody that's just fine.
I don't care who you are. It's funny. Now, rewind it a little bit.
What I don't get is he slipped. It's not just one slip. It's here. It's a deposit slip. OK, then it's another step slip and then, oh, man, is that funny to me. I'll tell you why it's not funny.
It's funny because you all because you loved your book. That's why. Because it's fun. If you were a slutty president I would have laughed if you would have slipped and just kind of kept walking. Right. Yeah, but he does a leg rub. It hurts. Yeah.
You heard it. Leg. He's fucking nine years old. It fucking hurts. I know, I know. They shouldn't give him one of those wheelchair things and top of it. You know what I would if I was one of those whoot the wheelchair that drives me, you know what I would tell them to if I was just like, you know, his aid?
Secretary of secretary of falling with a secretary of health. Yeah.
Health. I'd just be like, you know, next time you're in a situation, don't do the salute at the top.
Just go and just go in and get the fuck out. Embarrassing. Yeah, right. There he goes. Right now he's got to I got to fucking do this thing. But he has trouble. No he legally has to.
Yeah. He's got to do it. Yeah. Do I feel bad for him. Yeah. I hope the guy is fucking OK. But also you have to laugh at that. I would laugh at any president that would fall upstairs. Yeah. I love fainting. Fainting is so funny.
I do find presidents fainting. By the way, when Trump had toilet paper on his going up the stairs, that was hilarious. Google this. YouTube this. All right.
So I watch American Idol. I love. All right. So there was a girl. So they did they were doing duets and afterwards they were giving notes like Lionel Richie is like doing giving her notes. Yeah. And she fucking passes out and falls on her.
What, they can't play American Idol clips. Why it's copy written by the king on YouTube. They know they know more than we know. Don't play it to president's fainting. Let's see if there's any president that are fainting for real, what can't. I don't know why. I don't know why. Tell me why you can't play a woman faints with President Obama, you know that it's copyright. I know. Can we play it, have him see it and then talk about it?
No, no. Because the fans can't see it. They could just Google YouTube later. I'm going to say you saw it.
Oh, you can talk about it. Yeah, I got Portuguese president collapses. American Idol. What? OK, so what is it? Lionel Richie. Duets, duets, feinting duets. Do what's feinting, he's great. Oh, is that her? Yeah. All right, just watch it.
I want to watch. I wanna watch it out. Oh. She hit her face right on the ground, yeah. Did she knock her teeth out? She has stitches all over. But you know what's so funny, what's so funny or so after this? Because you could tell that Lionel was about to tell her, right, she's going to get it. You're getting cut because we're cutting everyone from the show and now that they're going to. So then now she goes.
And then later, Lionel Richie goes to the other one and says, I just wanna let you know you're both going to go in the next round. Yeah. Which was like it could have been a ploy.
Oh, you think she'll watch me faint? Yeah. Her friend. She was like, I'm going to get cut. You know, I'm going to faint. We're going to we're going to make it to the next round. But since we can't play it, let's move on. Fuck it. Damn. I want. Why can't we play that stuff down, how they do they copyright it, that's so fucked up. Thanks a lot, NBC. We have before, I think.
But I don't know what they do. Let me say, Tara, let me see. I always forget you have that tattoo over there, turn around all the way. Let me see. Turn me. If you saw me like at a strip club.
Well, it turns out I can't see your face. So if I just saw that and I couldn't, well, let your hair down, take your take. No, hold on. Let your hair down, take your hair out so I can see.
Because if I imagine that I couldn't tell if it was you or just a hot chick, but try to use.
I'm trying right now. I'm going to try right now at a strip club in Thailand and then put it back. Yeah. Put it all the way back. Yeah. Yeah, I like it like that. OK, yeah. OK, wait, stop. Be fair. Be real. Don't don't shake it so fast. Yeah. Slow is good. Yeah. Slow is good. Oh. Did you drop something or what did you drop down there.
Oh it looks like something. Oh good. Thanks for the opportunity to run.
It would foglia you do. Got a nice little tush. It's so tight, so tight and tiny. Can I tell you something, as the years have gone on, you've become more attractive to me. Yeah. From when we first met until now, you become way more attractive to me. Honestly, when you first met me, would you think, yuck, no, no, be real? I thought. I thought I thought I love you as I loved you as a comic and thought you were really, really talented.
But as a person didn't get you like why I thought you were just a bug or a guy like a gross Beaugard boy, like a little booger guy, like a little rat boy. But now you're kind of a sex symbol in my world. Is it because I spent a lot of time with you? Maybe, you know, they say women, women can be attracted to men who they're not physically attracted to, but they just grow with them.
I think I've grown with you a little bit. I already told you, man, that when I met you, I'm like, wow, that's a funny guy. I want to be his friend. I'm talking about physical attraction. I don't know how you choose to call me a fucking poker guy. You did that well. You did lacrosse. You did. When I thought, well, I know, but it's like you did.
Looks not what you mean. Don't don't don't make it like I'm weird. You collect it, you collect parts of your skin at home.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, well, you didn't know that though, but I could feel it. You can't feel that. I can feel it. Yeah. Yeah. We can't feel it. No.
You always know when people do weird stuff like Nevada, you know he's you know, he does weird shit.
You feel you can feel it. Yeah. You can feel it.
Like my brother the other day was like singing I got a dry sat right.
And I call them I go because you know, we put that stuff out and I go, yeah, because he's not joking around. He really has a dry sack or does he moisturize.
No, we've got to get him some ball moisturizer. It flakes and stuff. So I go like he sheds.
Yeah. Oh my God. Don't say that. Don't tell people. Yeah. Yeah. That's something you learn as a comic. Nice penis though. He does have a nice man. I think so. Yeah. You. What do you mean. You know since my brothers we are the same sir. Did you guys have baths together when you're a kid. Oh yeah.
Was there a moment too confident. Yeah. Oh yeah. Did you brath with your sister. No, of course not. That's what I've been saying for nine years. Difference.
Yeah, it's pretty cute. Put it up. Put it away. Your sister put it away. I wasn't taking it away, let me just put it away. Can I just put it away? How old she put it away. We've done this before. Put it away. No, I just bad the new audience. Sit. OK. It's so funny because I can say two things right now. I'm not going to say it, don't do it.
But I can say two things right now where he will completely and just and and get in his car and drive away right now. I have so much power of him. It's the best. Like, I'm not going to do it because I want to finish it.
It's disgusting. It's so manipulative. It's so fucked up.
Yeah. You there's nothing that you could say to me that's going to make me leave because you're so fucked up and everyone knows how fucked up. You know, I've already accepted my frailties. Right. You know, when I it's but I'm protective of things. My family that does family thing is tough.
Here's the thing. All right, here's the thing. When I started revealing that like I was molested. Like I that was no longer a shame event for me. Yeah, let me finish. Right. I wasn't molested, though.
I know. Just let me just finish what I'm saying that you know of. I think you were I know you said that, but I know there's no way I think you were when. I don't know when I don't know your life, but you just seem like a guy that was like brutally 1719, brutally molested. April 17th, 1992, no witnesses.
You really get molested on the Tutsi railroad. Oh, no, sorry, that's not funny. Yeah, that's funny. That's not funny. Yeah. So that you were molested, but you molested more than once. No, oh, yeah, yeah, for one guy, yeah, it was it was a lot, not a lot like three or four times. That's more than none.
That's true. But it's not 20. Yeah, that's true, but then it's like and then like I go, you know, you know, when I said, you know, when I was a kid, I already said this out loud, but I experimented. Yeah, we took the test. Yeah, OK. But, you know, I was going to die with that in the in the grave like I was going to.
You mean. You mean you mean to tell me though. But when you experimented with men. Yeah. You weren't ashamed of it. I was at the time because I know that I'm not gay but maybe but we've done this before and I just it just let me finish my point.
Ah I'm not see when you get mad about it. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't bode well. It doesn't bode well. It's fine. I don't care what people think. Look me in the face and slowly say I'm not gay.
Don't play along by the way, I'm supportive of you no matter what. Your point though is always loved you. What I'm saying is, is that I reveal things about myself and there's nothing that I'm ashamed is right.
But it's like you still hold on to some of the shit. That's what you get so angry about. You get so sensitive about it. Just mind. Just my mind's always family stuff.
If you say family stuff, then I guess we would talk about how what a whore my mom is. I don't give a fuck. Why would I do that. Because she's not. Yeah, she's not at all. I'm just saying the mother is a nice woman. Yes, yes, yes, so it's like, why would I do that? So then I'm just saying, if you did it as a joke, it wouldn't offend me.
But I feel like if I said that about your mom, which is not yet so up, but she's not that little fucking jobling.
You're skating on thin ice, a fucking dumpling.
So anyway, she's not but like, you know, you just you have, like, these trigger points within you. My family does other things, too. Yeah. But my family, there's other things too. OK, we all have trigger points.
I don't Bill, because you're I'm just I am. There's nothing that I have ever you haven't barely have emotion you're finding and again you're finding it again.
I have emotion bro. Yeah. But I cry so much more. Just because you cry doesn't mean you have emotion. What is it crying.
It's just a bitch reaction. No sort of bitch reaction. I have emotion. That's why I cry. Maybe it comes out in weird ways. It does, but I have emotion. Do I know you.
Do you need help is what I'm getting. I have therapy. Right. So I'm just saying that better help you. So you have trigger points and I know where the buttons are. There's I think for I could press to make you go hog wild, but I'm not going to do it. But I love having the power over. Thanks man. And I have none. Yeah, but also. But I control your future. That's true. I have one.
Yeah, you do. I have one sugar point. You got that those fuckers almost fucking these two idiots when they called on the phone. I know you know the one. And they almost got me.
I have one that doesn't make me snap and want to get in a car and drive away. But it just kind of you handle things differently.
I get angry and upheaval and you get introspective, introspective, but also but also your revenge buttons are huge because I'm Korean.
And now what is that about them. Why Koreans are so vengeful. I know because we make have you see Koreans make the best revenge movies.
But what is it about Koreans that they love? You see, I saw the devil bring that up.
And I was like, please watch it. I saw the devil.
Please watch movies ever. I saw the devil.
OK, there's a movie, career movie and all revenge. I saw the dollar, OK, and and it's what is it you said it's the best as you saw it. Fuck, yeah.
Yeah, it's it's like it's like oh boy, it's like it's a classic Korean revenge movie. But a lot of Korean movies are about that theme. Right.
I don't know what it is about subtitles or is it got subtitles.
Dude fuck man. Reid, I can. Why can't. I can't. I can't. I don't like subtitled films. Are you fucking kidding me right now, dude? No, I don't like them. What was the one that won an Oscar? Life is beautiful. That was subtitled. Singing and dancing is about all of that thing that didn't happen. I know.
I holocaust's how it happened, it was very devastating. But can you read the subtitles on it?
It's really good. We'll talk about this. I'll watch it if you watch it with me. How about that? I'll do it if you watch. We're never going to get together, watch a fucking movie. Right. So that means I'm not going to watch a fucking movie anyway. So, so so anyway, Koreans are really into revenge. I don't know why that is. I think because I think it has to do with oppression.
Because you were oppressed so much.
No, I just as a as a people, we were we were occupied by Japan, correct? Yeah.
Philippines were like a lot of a lot of Asian countries were colonized. Yeah. Right. And I think maybe that has something to do with it.
I don't know when when the Japanese have samurai's. Mm. To Koreans have an ancient warrior. No, we we have, dude, that new take on dope, I don't think they were called anything. What I just I'm surprised. I thought ninjas pusses. Ninjas are pussy, bro, are you going to really stand on a hill? Yeah, bro? Hungama asked. Yeah.
No, they're not scared. Yeah. Or I'm not going to look either. I am going to be on three, 300 feet away and do blowgun like a pussy. Oh, so you're calling ninjas pussy sister. You're right now calling out ninjas as pussies right now. Pussy, that's why. Do you ever see this, you mean. A guy fighting in the UFC, he's an expert in ninjitsu never because it doesn't work if there is somebody out there that's a real life ninja, will you please comment below?
We can link you up with Bobby.
I want you to get in a fight with a ninja and then you'll see if I just be honest with me. It's like in the movies that while they can go underground and stick their hand out of the ground of what our ninja is real.
I don't think so. I don't even know, you know, I thought it was just a thing. I honestly think that Ninja Pussies are ninjas real. Our ninjas still around. Our ninja's real today. Japanese error of shoguns a samurai is long over, but the country does have one or maybe two surviving ninjas. I used to fight those guys.
Yeah, I used to do a ninja joke. That's so hocky. Let me hear the ninja. So this is the new. I know this is when I first started doing comedy. Yeah, I go, why do you why don't you just wear masks? I mean, Asians, they all look the same, right? You going to see a ninja in a go? Hey, with no mask and go, hey, is that Steve Yamamoto.
That's so bad about is that Steve Yamamoto anyway, did crush those 30 years ago and it didn't work. No work, no, I'm ashamed. All right, if anybody is in danger, we do that. Twenty five minutes already for sure. What do we at a time when we can wrap? Yeah. One twenty five. You're good. So, listen, how did you think it went? There was some lulls. You guys did great.
No, I'll be honest. Was there some laws. It was. You got to tell the guys it was bad. No, no, no. I'm a fan of how this show went.
OK, hey. Yeah. If you even watch the regular, I don't know, I honestly can't. It's just so dull. But I know that they're like it's one of those things where they're both great commitment.
When I wanted to do what I did, when I did Oddball Committer. Yeah, I saw all the names on it. I'm like, oh, yeah, I know Ali well, I know Sobashima, all right. And I'm like, concertgoer. Right. Didn't know. Right. And that I was watching on stage. Like what are what is that. Yeah. Yeah. But then it's all of a sudden like he's being in the podcast or something.
I don't know, like stand up. A lot of standup is, is autobiographical.
I don't know, it's like a one man show. Maybe it's kind of like a One-Man show. One man show. Yeah. It's more like a one man show. Is there a way to end? Yeah, to our end. One, two, three. Thank you for being a bad friend, Bert. Tom and one goes topless while the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories in Birds Machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean.
Here's what I recall. There's a. No scrapes, a bit of booze, amateur pathology, dirty jokes, raunchy humour, no apologies. Here's what I recall. So there's one case.