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[00:00:00]

You're a big Catcher in the Rye fan, right, Reddick's I thought it was a baseball book and so I read it and I'm like one of I play baseball and they never play baseball.

[00:00:09]

And I was like, I don't remember anything about that movie or about that book.

[00:00:13]

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OK, I'll open the bottle of wine and open it. Dude, I've been drinking. This one I know would be a priority to read for it, but I have legit drinking that I've been drinking this like crazy. I know you have.

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Do you feel like there's a place and in booze and or drugs where two little keeps you up at night. I don't know that too little of a drug or alcohol could keep you up. I mean, I'll tell you that one of my favorite jokes of yours, though, was that I was thinking about the other day.

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While police say they haven't put her on special now. No, I know you've been on a special.

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Oh, my. One of my favorites is you talking about, I think you say about LeAnn, but you say it may be about people in general who they're like, OK, it's time to go to bed now.

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As LeAnn Like, I will sleep now.

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Well, it's like I'm done thinking. Yeah, like a fucking Mormon. Hey, cheers.

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Here's to Jennifer Aniston. It's good, isn't it? It is there, Peno, I've been drinking a lot of this shit, like I have cases at my house on the treadmill, I definitely drink.

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By the way, this was I know that they're going to be really upset by this, but this was made to drink on a treadmill. There's a guy running with a in. Yeah, I'm branding wise, I'm sure they're like that's actually not what we're trying to put out at all. But they do because it's like, I don't know, here's a deal.

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If you get on the treadmill at a three point five with a bottle of wine and oddly enough, because I walk, right? Yeah. It's the same size as like a canter that you'd hold. So like water in. So these fit in there. Put this on little flat part and just a brisk walk through on guys grocery games, diners, Drive-Ins and Dives have some wine. By the time you get a buzz you feel good. You're already broken a sweat, you want to jog and now you're running and you're running like, do you remember in college?

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Did you ever did you ever, like, be in good shape in college and get down to the bars?

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You're like the either so you can get a ride home or I could fucking run. And you just ran home. No, I did all the time really. It was downhill and it was a fucking sprint. And then you get home and everyone be there in the lake. Why are you sweating. And you can tell a story. You could tell the real story. There is a fucking wolf.

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So you would run home hammered. I'd run home hammered. By the way, I used to love it. How long do you run with booze?

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Like with a bottle of wine?

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Our like I mean, I probably I know this is all horrible branding for fit. Fine. No, no it's not. I'm saying. But you've been doing this before then. I've been doing this way before. I do it with a box of wine on the old trip so it fit better out.

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The three point five is for how long point.

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So I get on you on the treadmill. So what I'll do is normally this is how I normally work. Yeah. So I'm trying to think the last time I did this, I did this very recently. What I'll do is that it'll be I'll run a straight for miles first like run up first, but first I run straight for miles. Right. And this is over. This is Shober. This only happens. So I like to work out.

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The mornings are already worked out this morning. Yeah. And I like to work out in the mornings. If I don't work on the mornings it's a wash. So if I have to work out late night like last night I worked out at fucking eleven o'clock at night.

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Oh I know I hate it, I hate it but I hate the more the morning work out. Oh I love cup of coffee into it on the treadmill walk, read an article, do some work on your phone. Yeah.

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And then you don't even realize you've walked like a mile mile and a half and then I go to the active is this app I use this guy Kim shout out to Kim. Don't stop. Won't stop is. Yeah he's the fucking he's the best. And these, these are Kim workouts dude. He's awesome. So the one I did today, it was seven sprints.

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Seven. That's cool. Seven sprints. So surprises like you're training for run.

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You're trying to be run. Yeah, I'm trying to, I'm definitely trying to be I'm definitely need to be strong and something.

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He thinks he can beat me swimming can I say. And he but no he doesn't know. Don't do it like that. He doesn't know that. He doesn't know that a Speedo is faster than shorts.

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Oh yeah. I'm not gonna put a Speedo. Why would I put on a Speedo. And I'm like I already got you. Yeah. Like the fact that you go Carlos shorts, he wants to race just like swimming a lap, swimming a lap.

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He thinks he can beat me in cargo shorts. No, I won't happen ever. And I told him, I said, Ron, I can't even have this. This brings about something else.

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That's interesting, though. So we're talking to Warren Sapp about doing a podcast together. And I'm hoping it can come together.

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And all I mean by that is like, you know, there's three different people now, three schedules, the logistics of, oh, I hope they can come together for people wondering. We would not put it on the same feed. It would have its own RSS feed, its own channel. I don't know what we talking about. Is it like putting it around? Would they. Because they wouldn't. Yeah, because it's the different shows. You don't want clutter.

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Like what? Like people who enjoy this show is just done on your mom's house feed.

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It is. My point is that it wouldn't be like the same RSS and the same feed. So people who don't want that dynamic aren't like force fed it. Yeah. So so anyways, one of the things that came about I was thinking about this is really interesting.

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I've been working on this of all for people that don't know, he's dropping peanut butter from a fork onto a cup full of pretzels and hoping it looks like you've been this is healthy.

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People are doing an art project. This is healthy peanut butter. Well, and this is what I want to get to shoot.

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You and Warren are actually you're both born in 1972, so you're roughly the same age. OK, birthday. I don't know the exact birthday.

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I'm sure they'll pick that up in an hour by the end of the episode. Yeah.

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Oh, wow. I'm actually older than Warren Sapp by my month. OK, so but here's the thing. Yes, he's a Hall of Famer. He's retired. Right. Like he hasn't he hasn't been playing a long time. Yeah.

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So it's not like he's at the top of his physical game. My thing is like I wonder what you think whether you think you could beat him in anything now. Yeah. Fencing. Fencing.

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Yeah. What about. I know but I do understand what I'm saying. I bet. I bet I could pick up because I did fencing one time, yeah, and actually said was pretty amazing, really, like you actually have a real you maybe kiss a button. And I was like, really? No, but means it's when you fuck with someone so much, they lose their shit and that's when you stop.

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Let me kiss you kiss the button. It's a it's a very popular term online right now. So like I don't know. Yeah. So like save a troll comes at you. Yeah. It's like, what's up Fatboy? You're like easy and like, nah man. You're like, fuck you like nah bro now bro. And then all of a sudden you lose your mind like whoa whoa. Someone got feelings about it. Then you shoot your mind off and then you look like the asshole they made you kiss the I got the same thing I did in fencing is I kept fucking with that face.

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He's like, hey man. I was like, yeah.

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And the guy was like, like going, this guy knows nothing about fencing. Yeah. And we were in we were in Colorado Springs and the guy was a legit fencer. Yeah. He was coming at me and I just kept like going hey, I'm going to find the guy. I was like and then he got so upset he let his guard down and I was like, oh, just stab you in the chest. It was like, what the fuck?

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And, you know, I can see you really upsetting somebody. My whole goal is to get someone killed. But yeah, but I don't think I think I think you could outswim them.

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I don't think so. I'll tell you why, because how many lobsters did he come back with on that?

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Yeah, he's he's a water dude, like he's an ocean dude. Here's what about on ground? No, no, no.

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I like where you're going with this. Yeah, I bet. I bet. And an Olympic medley of my choice. Yeah, you're doing this to me, and I know you're doing this to me and I know that I'm going to fuckin regret this. No, you're not. Pull up Olympic Olympic competitions. I can't get them.

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I bet I impress them. And could could I get could I get some sort of like.

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Like like like a handicap. Oh, could I get handicap? Well, I think the handicap should be available only in certain types of event.

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So, like, I, I would really impress him with my shot-put.

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Well, that's the thing is the chapbook, I would guess that he was smash you into another universe. I won, but I won the Scottish Highland Games, not the same, but the Scottish Highland Games and Long Beach.

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I won the shotput. We had to remember how far it was, like 50 feet or something. Sixty feet.

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Sounds like some extra stuff in there.

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They came out of my mouth. I was like, Oh, this is something you probably Google and go, no one's ever done that.

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OK, three on three basketball. No archery. Yes. OK, right that right down the ones that that he is. But Bird thinks he could win it. Artistic gymnastics. No artistic swimming. Artistic joking. I'm joking. Artistic swimming.

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Artistic swimming.

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No, still I don't think so. OK, on. How about badminton. Yes. One on one badminton. I could take one side. What about one on one basketball. No, I know I by the way, not even remotely boxing. No.

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Do you think this is not. I'm looking for a beach volleyball. You want to win. What about this. This is not even up there.

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But again, he's retired, hasn't played in a while.

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But if you guys put pads on, you know, oh, dude, here's a deal. Do you think you could blackham know why he's retired? You're fucking fat. No, no, no, no. You're strong. Definitely. I definitely couldn't, um. See, the thing about Warren Sapp is like he is legit, so like he's the guy.

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Pro athlete like I play with guys that were good in sports, yeah, pro athletes are a different level. Your level. No, no, no. Oh, you're saying another level.

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No, my thing is I got to I got to make him kiss the button and other things I said. Right. Like, so I'd have to I'd have to like. Uh, diving, diving, canoe, slalom, swale, slalom, slalom, canoe, slalom, see, like fog, golf, golf.

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Yes, I got I got him in golf. Scroll down.

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Scroll down. Um, couldn't get him in handball, probably couldn't get him in hockey, definitely couldn't get him in judo or karate, marathon swimming, no modern pentathlon klick modern pentathlon. Modern pentathlon, the overview. OK, pointing at something, shooting a gun. I bet I could. What is modern pentathlon? I don't know. Oh, it's no, it's horseback riding. Running. Go, go faster, go faster. The essence of the sport.

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We're not going we just picked five different things, keep going, shooting, I think I think I have a shot on shooting like target shooting.

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I was surprised with the swimming thing, though. You don't think you could ask him because he's diving? No, because you know, the way he's like he's like water out here. Water guy like Jett lives on the water. Yes. Fishes dives for lobster like Florida dudes.

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I've been away from the water so much that my confidence in the water is down like it really is down.

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What is that young lady died in that lake. I started going. Yeah, that was that's a fucking thing. Tennis? Yes, tennis. Yes, yes. Everyone will be. And everyone you'll be in ten won't beat them in table tennis.

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That's something Warren probably did every day at Miami at five o'clock. Yeah. What about weightlifting?

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No, what about wrestling, definitely beat him in triathlon, you definitely beat him, and I'm the only one that's done triathlon. Definitely, definitely believe him in triathlon.

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Give him a run for his money in wrestling. Do you realize how quickly he would kill you could see the things like his hands, like this movement? Yeah, like I bet it happens so fast you don't see it.

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You wouldn't really experience the pain until after it wouldn't be until later in the day.

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So fast, when you're like, my ear hurt, you be like, how come I don't hear anything over here anymore? I can't clear my ear.

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Do your jaws broken? What.

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Oh, you wouldn't know how to spell anymore. Oh yeah.

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The thing about that's interesting. You know, I love the sea.

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We should put together that challenge like all the ones that Burt just so they can I can read this off to Warren. Hey, Warren, I hope everything's well with you. Just so you know, Burt thinks he could beat you in archery, badminton, canoe, slalom, golf, tennis, a triathlon event and give you a run for your money in wrestling.

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Is that right? That is why we got this. Uh, no.

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I wonder if he. That will be cool to see, get him a paper towel, please. No, no, no, we're good on it. It will be cool to see retired athletes go head to head. I think they've done that. Really? Yeah.

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They've been like shows like really spicy, really, really spicy. Do you like it or.

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No, I like it a lot. Um, the. I like. You think Warren has a sense of humor about that stuff, about or do you think he just texted us? Do we really? Yeah, yeah.

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Do not say, hey, things are going to be much better. Not the way to get this party started.

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Well, yeah, you do let me know. Yeah, yeah, we'll give him a shot. Oh, I won't tell him that yet. I think it'd be better. He's got to get to know me before he can understand the white trash talk. I think he actually has.

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We were trash talking to that group text that I remember.

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I don't read them, OK? I don't read. I don't like I read the last one. And if it applies to me, I reply that one.

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Bullshit, you ever read the ones from Joe where you're like where they're like all you see is just white y y y y y white and your blue ones all the way up here. And you're like, I think that we could switch topics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Big group. Yeah.

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The here's my question. This peanut butter is actually really fucking good, but the work it took to get this peanut butter up and running is exhausting.

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Now, I would argue that Washington Carver, who created peanut butter every time I thought about that, I thought he created this type of peanut butter, the peanut butter. You could do this and nothing happens. Yeah, he just created the one with fucking jizz all over the top of it. Yeah. And he was like, well, that's probably this is processed and. Yeah, but I had always envisioned processed peanut butter.

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Oh he created peanut butter. Wasn't even that good. Like think think about it for a second.

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Like this peanut butter is good because fixing the frog, fixing the fog is this peanut butter. It's actually really good peanut butter but yeah but no but no but hold on, OK, these are hippies that are trying to get back to the roots and they put some smoke and fire in it.

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But like, if you go to the store and just get peanut butter, like just healthy peanut butter, which what is what George Washington Carver made, I'm not sure on Georgian government saying he made a healthy peanut butter and then gave it out. And everyone's like, this is fucking good. He didn't even put jelly with it. He just gave you peanut butter.

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And they were like, OK. Does that make sense? No, it makes a hold on. Hear me out. Hear me out. By the way, what fucking raccoon open this peanut butter, I don't know. This is this makes me want to touch peanut butter.

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That looks like it looks like a Talon went through the top like this.

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It looks horrific. Which one are you knuckleheads did that? Oh, never mind. It makes sense right now. Right. All right, guys, this is absolutely one. You don't even need to do the read. I can tell you right now, he's my favorite sponsor ever fit.

[00:17:50]

Fine. Well, even even exercising and drinking. And I love fit fine. It is healthier, less sugar, less tannins and less toxins. That is one of my favorite flavor. And full alcohol for alcohol, which is important.

[00:18:03]

Losing booze. First time I tried the red wine, I tried the Pinot Noir. My wife said, is it coming in second? And we ordered the Prosecco. We ordered a full Boxster Cabernet Sauvignon we had with positive the night. You cannot tell the difference between what you would categorize as a normal wine versus fit fine and fit fine. Scott so. So less sugar. I think it's like zero point one point zero.

[00:18:24]

They have everyone has less than zero point zero nine grams of sugar per glass and less than one gram per bottle, with some bottles having as little as zero point zero one grams of sugar per glass.

[00:18:33]

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[00:18:54]

I mean just let that thing run. It's a fire hose. Yeah, it's a fire hose. You can break up your use of toilet paper paper and use treat your butt right with Toshie. Why bring about a dry point of toilet paper. Doesn't remove all the shit. If you got shit on your hand, would you just wipe it off with a piece of cloth? No, no. You'd wash your hands, right?

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Yeah, well, she does that. It sprays clean water, not toilet water into your ass.

[00:19:18]

Toilet papers for barbarians. That's what I said. Think all these people are sitting there with nasty bacteria that these things like hemorrhoids, yeast infections. I to use UTIs itchy asshole skidmarks. But these are common the rest of the world. I remember the first time I used one in Japan.

[00:19:32]

I'm barely saying these words and a day I'll save you money on toilet paper sprays fresh water onto your ass, not toilet water connects to the water supply behind your toilet to spray your dirty parts with clean water. It's all I use and it starts at just sixty nine dollars. Go to hello Toshie dotcoms bears' get ten percent off your order. That's hello Toshie dotcom slash beyer's.

[00:19:59]

But no but when you think about like so I just have a joke. One of my first jokes was that I wrote was George Washington Carver created peanut butter but he also can make a car combustible engine run off the peanut oil as well. His big mistake was that he introduced peanut butter and jelly first and he was like, all right, guys are passing sandwiches out. And then I'm going to tell you all the cool stuff I can do with a peanut in there.

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Like these are good things like, hold on, that's just where we're starting vorst.

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I can they're like, give me milk. And he's like, hold on guys, hold on. I have a lot of stuff I want to talk about.

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I'm like, no, these are really, really good men. Do you make these all the time? It's like it's just the sandwich guys are just appetizer, OK? And they're like, have you ever put these on? Celery is like, stop guys. I can make I. You're the one with the peanut. That was like a joke. Yeah. I was never I think someone ended up doing something like it, but. He just told me he made shitty peanut butter.

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Wait a minute, like he didn't make the peanut butter.

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We grew up on what is in uncrossable, but that's probably like 100 years after his invention or whatever.

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My point is, how unimpressed would you have been with that peanut butter if you're like, oh, good man, I don't need some water to wash it down my mouth just as fucking paste it right now.

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There's no fucking flavor whatsoever. And there's no jelly. There's no honey. It's just peanut butter. Just.

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Huh. I think you would have been more impressed, actually. I think you'd have been like you made that peanut thing into a paste. This is crazy, man. It tastes just like the little peanuts, but it's like a cream. I think you would have been more into it. Yeah.

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And it would be soaked in oil, but you wouldn't know about the process if you would have gotten the oil.

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You have gotten the only black. So what do I do with this oil? And you sipped it and you know, you got to take 30 minutes to blend it up. He's like, what? He's like, take a spoon and do this for thirty fucking minutes until you can turn it into a page. You're like, this seems like a lot of work. George Washington Carver, he's like, where do you go? I make an engine run.

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By the way, what else could George Washington Carver I'm going to get canceled for this fucking conversation.

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What else could he make a peanut do? I'm breaking this plastic spoon. This one is actually I got to give a shout out to fixing the fog. This is actually a really good Penalver, is that what he looks like? He's a good looking man. Debonair I am, I might say, American scientist from his work at Tuskegee, Tuskegee, Carver developed approximately 300 products made from peanuts.

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These include flour, flour, paste, insulation, paper, wallboard, wood stains, soap, shaving cream, skin and.

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What's going on is the. George Washington Carver made up so many things out of peanut butter, but they're all like lotions, shaving cream, skin lotion, soap, I bet when he came walking around the corner, like here comes Jordan after I throw peanut butter on, like peanut butter everywhere.

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Yeah, you shave all that stuff is a guy shave with it. That is like no use. It has to take a bath of it.

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Yeah, pretty much. Did you grow up on a farm like that.

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You feel Steketee subpoenas feel better.

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Like this is my impression of everyone involved with George Washington Carver hasn't come to the dinner party yet. Right. Do not bring up peanut butter guys.

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Goes crazy for peanuts. Whatever you do, stay away from the subject of peanuts. Okay. George, how are you doing? Nothing. My point is this peanut butter is so much better than the old school peanut butter, not not not this actual one is actually really good, but like the kind you get is just so flavourless. OK, do you have is your favorite only the process then? Yeah, well, I mean, if I said, hey, make me a peanut butter sandwich and you brought back natural peanut butter.

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Yeah, I'd be like. Oh, you home schooled over what is your preference for the the big brand processed ones? Jeff, Jeff, Jeff has got to be Jeff, right?

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I'm on Skype and then I'm always a Jeff guy and Peter Pan. Right, Skippy? No, no. I don't like cross promotion.

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I don't like that shit. You saw me on some stuff.

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I believe that as a kid, just just don't put that in there.

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I don't. Why? Because I could see you're about to do it.

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No, I wasn't going to do it. No, don't don't don't fuck that one all up, don't you? Why. Hold on. Why do you think this would fuck this one up as opposed to make this one better? Just get a different for what if what if how long were you married where we can take these home.

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What if I cut half of this with this and really made it something special?

[00:25:28]

While he is going to be good, OK, hey, do you have any bread? Do we want to try it on? I guarantee you, if you put half Jif in here, it would blow your fucking mind. You guarantee that a guarantee?

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It's like putting coconut, it's like putting get more for it for a couple of plates I put in coconut milk and curry.

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It just makes it better. Yeah. If you put coconut milk in, anything is fucking better. I remember when they first started doing those, when I first met Rogan and everyone was doing the almond milk shakes. Yeah. And I remember saying to Duncan, I was like, these are fucking awesome. He's like, I know, right? And then I heard Djogo you guys use an unsweetened right and Duncan and I weren't and I was like was there a difference is like checked calories.

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It was like three hundred and forty calories per cup and you're like oh no wonder I like them, they're filled with fucking sugar.

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But yeah I guarantee you if we cut you'll see, you'll see. We'll do a taste test. What do you say about that, huh. Yeah. Let's do a taste test. We have a plate and some pretzels. I like it.

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OK, thank you. And I feel like now I'm getting phased out the fit by talking like this. Here we go. Put you up here, fit mine. OK, so here's what we're gonna do. OK, I feel like I don't have enough product for this experiment.

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No call. Good call. Good call. We'll use the top of this.

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Oh I was planning on that I think is getting plates right now. Are you getting plates enough. Hey, do you see the text I sent me the day and called him Nazel. No, I was like Nazel. It was like spell check. I was like my spell checks. Fucking anti-Semitic.

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OK, OK. By the way, there are people watching this going, I already know where this is going to go.

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What's going to be fucking amazing, really. All right.

[00:27:14]

So here's just raw dog, ok. Oh OK. Here's Raw Dog. OK, here is. Jeff, OK, now I want you to I feel like I'm going to knock something over. Here is. Jeff. Plus, raw dog. I guess I should say the name of their product. Not fog makes the fog, yeah, you're going to stir those together. Yeah, you think that's going to be really good? This is going to be fucking phenomenal because you know what?

[00:27:51]

It's got all the help of fixing fog, but all the enjoyment of Jeff.

[00:27:57]

This does look like I'm playing with shit, doesn't it? OK, so let's try a little taste test, OK?

[00:28:04]

OK, so we're going to start with fixing fog, which is a really you don't need to just use one of these graphics, but. All right. But I've already done it, so I'll eat this one. There's a fog, little spicy. Don't do too big of a bike and we won't be talking.

[00:28:16]

OK, nuga but is natural peanut butter. So we're missing a lot of those natural processed sugars right now because it got a smoky hint. Yeah. But you know as good, Jeff, old school, Jeff, the thing about Jeff, right? Yeah, big hunk of it because it's processed. Right. You can really get a fucking dick load of it.

[00:28:41]

Oh, go. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's got sugar in it, it's Jeff. Yeah.

[00:28:47]

And by the way, this all leads into our main sponsor attendance. Right, right on home. Peanut butter and wine or really good. Hmm, yeah, it pairs nicely with the Pinot Noir. It does. OK, so that Jeff was good. All right, now, now take a look at my eyes. Oh, shit. Look at this. Look at the more I could put on the process. Yeah, I'll take first bite and then you look into my eyes.

[00:29:20]

Go. That's the way to go. Like where I got into that is really fucking up.

[00:29:39]

It's got the subtlety of the hint and the heat, but like the process and the sugar that we all get.

[00:29:47]

You like it? Oh yeah.

[00:29:48]

I tell you why you need me as a best friend.

[00:29:56]

We just solve a mystery together.

[00:29:57]

I bet that's it's really fucking good, right?

[00:30:02]

Because it's got it's not overwhelmingly processed. We've got the natural shit of this, but it's got the processing. Yeah. Have you done this it before.

[00:30:11]

No, I've never done this. I just came up with this today. I looked at this and I just looked good because it said smoke and heat. So you got the heat of this like a bite on the back of the tongue. Yeah, but you can get a lot of it in your mouth because of the process. A. Yeah.

[00:30:23]

They're come along with processing. I wish George Washington Carver had thought of this, by the way. The fuck was he thinking? How if I go into a time machine right now, if I get sucked into a time machine and I'll send them in George Washington Carver pitch meeting. And I'm like, oh, hold on, hold on, George. Give me that. Give me some of your soap.

[00:30:43]

I'm sure what I'm saying is sacrilege in today's culture, even mocking George Washington Carver at all.

[00:30:48]

Yeah, but it's not him, but he's just a person. I'm not sure I'd make fun of you. OK, let's do it to Einstein.

[00:30:53]

Maybe not a Jewish guy, but maybe give me a give me let's play a game. You ready to play a game?

[00:31:05]

OK, guys, in the back, I want you to pull up a list of presidents names and I want you to make up names of would be presidents versus real presidents, the ones we don't know who we not know. I would say half of them. Do you think we know there's only been forty five? I bet. All right. Let's see who can name the most presidents. OK, let's go back and first for first one to tap out, OK, you guys got a list of the president's up.

[00:31:38]

Guys, I want you to play along at home, OK? Oh, this will be like a viral clip. OK, guys, he's about to go viral. I want you to play at home. This is Krischer and Tom's girl from two bears, one cave listing American presidents, and then we'll do Korean North Korean presidents. I don't know that many presidents. I can name all North Korean presidents. Well, no, I'm saying yeah, but I don't know.

[00:31:58]

I don't know. I you're right. I don't know that many us. Yeah. OK, let's start. Here we go.

[00:32:02]

I'm a start off, ok. Barack Obama. George Washington. Abraham Lincoln. George H.W. Bush. His dad or his son? The other one, whichever one you said, George W. Bush, OK? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Harry Truman.

[00:32:35]

FDR. Richard Nixon. Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford, Richard. Jimmy Carter is a peanut farmer, OK? James Madison, the president, sounds like an Andrew Jackson. Well, yeah, was that right, though, yeah. James Madison, yes, it's Madison, Wisconsin. Oh, I'm guessing Donald Trump, God damn it. I was holding on to that one. I was afraid you were going to not say it. Grover Cleveland. Oh, Lyndon Johnson, John F.

[00:33:33]

Kennedy, no. I think I'm pretty much done. Um. There's got to think, let's think, right, so George Washington as first, who's number two? I don't know his son. No, I'm getting. Brimley. OK, hold on. So we're at. How many did we list? Like 10 and 10 each, no, 10. No, we did not list in more than 10. He's not bean counting.

[00:34:11]

Yeah, I've just been cross referencing with this list.

[00:34:14]

Oh, so do you have the names we didn't list? Yeah. I mean, I'm looking at the list.

[00:34:20]

There's a bunch of names you didn't say. Yeah. Are there any obvious ones.

[00:34:25]

Um, you guys said Gerald Ford, right.

[00:34:29]

Gerald Ford. Yeah. You got to say Ronald Reagan. You always had Ronald Reagan and. Hang on, hang on.

[00:34:35]

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Let's think after Truman was. Truman was what.

[00:34:45]

No, married.

[00:34:50]

Uh. All right, I think we're done with this guy, Zachary Taylor, Zachary Taylor. Zachary Taylor. OK, OK, so now here's what I'd like you to do, take a list of the names that we didn't name, OK? And I want you to come up with names that are similar. I'm fucking they're a bunch of wigs in there that I'm thinking of. Yeah, they're a bunch of wigs. And I want you to take a look at the names that we didn't name.

[00:35:27]

And then I want you to come up with names that are semi's. Similar, OK, meaning take a look at their vice president. Take a look at a name that we would might also recognize. And then I want you to give us both names and we've got to decide if that was an American president or not an American president. Meaning, meaning, so you name a name that it was an American president or not, and then we're going to go back, I was never president or that guy was our president.

[00:35:50]

OK, does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, OK, this episode of Two Bears, One Cave is brought to you by Express VPN. Have you ever watched the office? If you have, you probably know it's based on the UK series also called The Office. But what if I tell you there are nine other countries?

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[00:38:40]

I can show you how to do it if you want to. Like I say, Zachary Taylor. Now here's a good one. Here's one. I just. All right, here's a good one. Is this guy a president? Not a president. Franklin Pierce. Who from Franklin Pierce. No, no. Wrong. He is a president. Who's the president? Well, yes, 42, a horrible dude.

[00:39:00]

Cancel him. Keep going. Do you think that they're doing Candleholders just because they don't want to learn history? Probably.

[00:39:08]

Who else are you at?

[00:39:09]

Rutherford B. Smith. Yes, Rutherford B. Hayes.

[00:39:13]

Oh, Bert. Got it. Yeah. Yeah, I do.

[00:39:16]

Well, I had fucking been teaching all at home lately. Keep going.

[00:39:23]

James Harrison. I think he was a defensive back for the Steelers. He was a he was an outside linebacker and like defense.

[00:39:32]

James Harrison, this is Nadaf. You're doing really good on this. You're doing a really, really good because the James is correct. James is right. Yeah.

[00:39:42]

Or the Harrison sounds, right, right, yeah, that's that's why it's a good one, but yeah, they got. Oh, this is a fun game come up with. But it's not accurate. It's not. It's not. He's not a president.

[00:39:52]

Correct. All right. That was Benjamin Harrison. Benjamin Harrison. What about Benjamin Franklin? Was he not a president? He never was a person. Why is he on 100? I thought that was only because he discovered lightning.

[00:40:03]

Because he discovered lightning in a bottle.

[00:40:06]

Right. He put a key on a key items like he got it. And they're like, here's one hundred dollar bill. Like, fucking amazing, do it again. He's like, do it again. But you got to put more money in there. Like, Oh God, he's like the first shell game.

[00:40:19]

All right, give us another name. And by the way, how many do we have left that we didn't name the I mean, north of thirty? Like, there's a lot you guys didn't say.

[00:40:27]

Yeah, that makes sense. I thought we named all the 20th century friend who's our smartest friend, who's our smartest friend. Um, who's someone that, you know, who would, you know, would definitely know who? Kevin, Christy, you think I think he's a smart guy called Kevin Christie, tell him as quick as he can, lift off as many presidents as he can, OK, if he gets one out of our group.

[00:40:56]

Then he wins. Let's see. This is a fun game. Let's do more smart guy stuff. Yeah. Hey, Kevin, we're doing way to Bears one game right now, OK? Bert said, like, who are like some of our smartest friends. And I go, I think Kevin's really smart.

[00:41:16]

So sweet. Well, prove it.

[00:41:19]

Well, here's here's the criteria we're going with.

[00:41:23]

Like, can you name are you are you good with history? And that you can name a bunch of us presidents.

[00:41:30]

I could name a handful I think. How many. OK, how many do you think you could name Kevin. And over 10, 15, I think, I think, all right, we're we're we're pretty settled, obviously, on the 20th century. Let's go trying to go name them off, name them off. OK, OK, start naming them off. We got them ready. Go.

[00:41:49]

Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Polozola. Oh, I'm putting those on that.

[00:41:54]

He said Washington, Lincoln. Uh Jefferson. Taft.

[00:41:58]

We didn't have. Yeah. I'm not going in order. Yeah. Yeah of course. Of course. Ulysses S. Grant. Oh my God. Ulysses S. Grant was a president. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:42:07]

Andrew Jackson. Yeah. Both Bushes or Clinton unfortunately.

[00:42:14]

Oh my God. We never knew. We never named Clinton. How the fuck did we forget Clinton.

[00:42:23]

OK, go Hoover. Come on Hooverville. Gengar not J.

[00:42:31]

Edgar Hoover as FBI director.

[00:42:42]

Lincoln County League.

[00:42:44]

Yeah yeah yeah yeah. We got yeah yeah yeah yeah. He's very important. Yeah. Kind of backfired. What else you got.

[00:42:56]

Nixon. Yeah. Johnson. Yeah. Gerald Ford. Jimmy Carter. Ronald Reagan. We said the Bushes. Yeah. Before Nixon. Kennedy. Yeah. Yeah. Who was before Kennedy. Eisenhower. Oh Jesus Christ Tom.

[00:43:15]

I thought, I thought we had this point. Is that true.

[00:43:22]

You know what's crazy is that I was a history major and one of my thesis was in the history of US presidents accused serial killer sound.

[00:43:32]

You saw that pretty well. Well, we already did all their first ladies names.

[00:43:40]

Yeah, there was Tiffany Bunnie zappy.

[00:43:44]

Hillary Bird had Lady Bird Koochie, McGee, um, Malfi, anybody else you name anyone else who was before Eisenhower.

[00:43:58]

Well, we did, right. We had typically we had, we had Truman. We had. Oh yeah. Yeah. FDR, FDR. We did him.

[00:44:09]

Yeah. He had the Roosevelts. Yeah. Oh I can't think of anyone else that was already so much better than us. Yeah. It was really good. Do you read books. Do you read books Kevin. I do read books. Yes.

[00:44:21]

Yeah. What's your book you're reading right now. You know that movie Spotlight. Sounds like there's a movie spotlight that's about the. Investigation of the archdiocese in Boston. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, I did see that. Yeah, I love that movie. So I'm reading the book. Yeah, man, all the articles they keep, they keep trying to bring us down as Catholics.

[00:44:45]

But I'm know you have a checkered past.

[00:44:53]

Oh, man, we didn't do it.

[00:44:56]

I didn't do anything wrong things and we didn't do anything wrong. So it is the book is the book hotter than the movie?

[00:45:03]

But once enough for me. It's great. I watched the movie like 20 times. And really. Yeah, that's a fucking weird.

[00:45:11]

That's a weird. Pick me up, Kevin, but it's such a good movie. The writing is so good. And the wrote it was on The Wire so that's. Oh yeah. That is writer. Director. Yeah.

[00:45:25]

Yeah. You got this man. I think I'm glad I made this call. Now we know who our smart friend on this show is. Yeah. Whatever we want. Smart stuff. Yeah.

[00:45:33]

Our first call whenever we need a black guy was Russell Peters. When a really smart guy was born. You don't ever look David Taylor. David Taylor. Very smart to do.

[00:45:41]

You would crush me in the presidency. Would for sure have more me.

[00:45:44]

Yeah, I'm smelling a segment. What's the segment. A nerd off. A nerd off.

[00:45:50]

A nerd off plastic ball. Tom and I will be the meathead friends. Hmm. And you have to communicate to your answers to us via like a cheat. A cheat. Yeah. Oh, I love this idea.

[00:46:03]

OK, I love this. And then whoever wins, you just call us pussies.

[00:46:07]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, like I like this idea. Good job, Cossie. And then we, we, we throw a milkshake at your head and then that segment the winners to get you one you loser and throw something at us.

[00:46:18]

Yeah. I like this idea. I like this idea really.

[00:46:20]

It's like, it's like a mathlete. But me and me and David, David Taylor versus you and Kevin and they have the answers, but they've got to figure out a way to communicate them to us in a non traditional sense of communication.

[00:46:34]

OK, it's like password.

[00:46:35]

Yes, like password. But while we're blindfolded and they've got to do it through our bodies.

[00:46:40]

All right. A way for guys like you to be able to I want to be allowed to still ethically bully people like me. We're like you pay us. We're like like, you know, sex workers. But for you to be like a fucking coward who pushes on the ground like we allow it so you can get that out of your system.

[00:46:56]

Yeah, I like that idea. Like, see, this is this is turning into something better. Jesus, Kevin, you got a ton of ideas.

[00:47:04]

We're like you get to put on your Letterman jacket like it's so fat at this point.

[00:47:11]

I walk down like a fake. Oh yeah.

[00:47:14]

We're actually we're actually doing really good on our diets. Yeah, we're good. Really. Yeah. We're not mixing peanut butter to figure out the best combination. Hey, what do you know about George Washington Carver? Nothing. Oh, well, it looks like it looks like there's a new nerd in town, huh? Yeah, I'm here's the thing.

[00:47:32]

I would never profess to be a genuine, smart person. Really? Not really.

[00:47:38]

I think people walk away from talking to you feeling like you're pretty smart, man. Most of our friends are idiots. That's probably true, too. I think that's it. You're right. Yeah. It's not hard to look like a good swimmer in a pool full of drowning people. Yeah, yeah.

[00:47:51]

I'm the tallest man in a village full of tiny people. Yeah. It's like the guy with the biggest head, with a guy in a room full of small headed people. That's not an analogy that people make. It's like a guy with a ton of ears, with everyone with no ears. OK, all right. You just keep doing it. Yeah. It's like a guy with a bottle opener when no one's got a bottle opener, like a guy who's got six hands and no one's got hands.

[00:48:14]

There you have it. You go. I got it. All right, Kevin, thank you for answering. I appreciate the the intel. Thank you, Kevin. No problem. We talk to you later, man, but we really screwed the fucking pooch on that.

[00:48:27]

I can't believe how many, like all the when he started to say things like, yeah, of course I have Grant.

[00:48:32]

Of course, I didn't know Ulysses S. Grant.

[00:48:34]

I thought he was just a step into his fucking house. Is this another Jennifer Aniston story?

[00:48:40]

No, no, no.

[00:48:43]

I mean, Grant's Farm, you know, Saint Louis of Real. Yeah. From Saint Louis, Missouri. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. I've been to Grant's Farm.

[00:48:51]

I'm like, what the fuck is amazing? All this shit we don't know, you know?

[00:48:56]

I mean, I think we should have known that. Yeah. But I mean, I tell you what's wrong with the intelligence.

[00:49:02]

Yes. Yes.

[00:49:05]

This I'm I'm trying to work this out. Is that working it out now? I'm I'm trying because it is a real theory. It's my problem. It's what happened with Nick Cannon. We kind of picked on it. If you're an unintelligent person and you read a book, you are still going to process that information like a stupid person would.

[00:49:25]

Oh, so like you're just getting more information to turn stupid.

[00:49:32]

Does that make sense now? OK, I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example. So say you're a dumb person, right, and you read the book Empire of the Rising Moon, I think that's the name of it. It's a book Rogan recommended. If you're a dumb person, you're going to read that and you're going to read it as a dumb person and process your information as a moron and then translate it as a moron. Like you're not going to just because you read it doesn't make you smart.

[00:50:02]

You're still stupid.

[00:50:05]

Right. That makes sense. I see what you're saying. Look, I'm trying to say look like but I'm going to use that as an example because he's already out there.

[00:50:12]

But like, he wrote a couple of books about Muhammad and didn't read the love and good shit. He just read negative shit like he just saw. He processed it in a dumb person's way.

[00:50:27]

Muhammad like, I don't know, proud of it.

[00:50:29]

By the way, this is why I shouldn't even be talking about this. So I don't even know the fucking book you read. But like but like if you read a book and you're a moron. Yeah. The Bible.

[00:50:37]

Perfect example. How many people read the Bible in a moron's and then go, oh, that means no, but fucking you're right.

[00:50:42]

That's the point the book is about. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yes.

[00:50:45]

And you're like, no, you should read the Bible and then go, oh, love one another and then process that as an adult and go, don't kill anyone. Don't fucking try to fuck your neighbor's wife. But like also getting go ahead in business like and yeah. You're not going to get that way by fucking canceling games and holding signs saying, God, I guess I've got I think I get what you're saying is like if you are just because you read doesn't make you smart, it just makes you more dumb with more information.

[00:51:11]

You're more informed but still stupid.

[00:51:12]

Still stupid. Yeah. So don't fucking read it. You're stupid. Well don't read if you're stupid, you keep your stupid. Just stay away from books.

[00:51:24]

I mean, how is this, how does this say you're stupid, say you're stupid and but you're really good with your hands, right. Yeah. And then you're sitting in your garage one day and you're everybody's around you pop tops someone passing around a joint and they're like, hey man, you read this book, the Illuminati and you're like, oh, really? Read like.

[00:51:41]

But this is the book you should read like, all right. And then see, you know, like, God damn it, they killed Tupac.

[00:51:47]

And you're like, no, he had a band called the Illuminati same time. Yeah. It's like don't give intelligent, don't give dumb people access to become intelligent. Well, I think I, I mean, by the way, this is a everything I do is skewed in a comedy sense. So I'm trying to come up with the idea that is at one point funny. But there is truth behind every idea.

[00:52:07]

Go for Tom. Well, I think a lot of it you're talking about is like taking in information, in soundbites, like people watching a news segment or and then thinking they're fully informed. This is kind of like that stunning. Kruger, you know, is really what almost what you're speaking about. People you just said that in Kruger is like the idea that someone's an expert when they know, just like they've read a headline, an article, and all a sudden they you know, they're now an expert in that field, like, yeah, basically a phenomena that's happening more so in the era of reading, less so it's people are consuming things like, you know, a blurb, a headline, a social media post.

[00:52:49]

And then they're like, oh, I know. I know everything about that topic. Got it.

[00:52:53]

Whereas I think you can make the argument that if somebody were to really consume books where you're actually having to devote yourself to consuming, you know, three hundred plus pages or something, and that's one.

[00:53:06]

And then, you know, then you read your next book, your next book, you might over a period of time become an expert in the thing you're actually reading. If you're putting in that type of that type of time to read, it's actually fully grasp the topic.

[00:53:19]

Well, the thing is, you're not really becoming an expert if you see a new segment or you read one article. Yeah, I got that subject down. Now, I'll tell you where this come from.

[00:53:27]

We're talking about this before this started, right? Yeah. And I'm reading that book Flyboy's about the war in the Pacific. Mm. I'm so which is crazy that you're reading a book at all.

[00:53:36]

Yeah. At all by the way. At all. Especially a book that isn't like there's pictures in it but like it's super thick and they're big pages.

[00:53:45]

You did say it was funny when you started coming out you go the Japan's.

[00:53:49]

I didn't say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not saying that's for example is like there is a point right where I was like I was I was explaining to Lian what I'm reading.

[00:54:00]

And she said, hey, you got to be really careful with this information because this was 200 years ago and you feel like it's happening yesterday. And I was like, oh yeah, you're right. Like, I'm like I get I'm reading this stuff about how Japan behaved in the Rousso Japan war and the rape of China. And I'm like and I'm and I'm going like, all right, that's not Japanese people today.

[00:54:21]

Like, like but but but you also go I bet there are people that read that book. No, I that's why I don't like them, you know.

[00:54:28]

Yeah. And you go then Superville shouldn't read the book. Oh I see.

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[00:56:54]

Oh, I see. Like when I started reading the book, I'm the kind of person that when you open a book and it says Preface, you go skip these eight pages, right? Yeah.

[00:57:02]

Sometimes those are important. Yeah.

[00:57:04]

I don't know one person that goes all the brevis. Right. Right. And so I started reading the preface and I was like, oh, this is actually pretty interesting previs. And then I start reading the first chapter. The first words of this book, Tom, is in order to tell the story properly, we've got to go back two hundred years. And my brain went, Are you fucking kidding me? Start with the fucking story. Like I said.

[00:57:25]

Yeah, but, you know, I started reading it and it's amazing. It is amazing because I didn't know anything about this.

[00:57:33]

I didn't know anything about any of this.

[00:57:35]

Yeah, I don't know anything about the book is about what's the book called. It's called Flyboy's. It's about I by the way, I don't even really know what it's about yet because a bookstore sent it to me. Um. A bookstore sent it to me because I do these unboxing on my own, my Instagram stories, where I if you send me stuff to my P.O. Box seven or seven, North Hollywood, nine oh six nine one six three.

[00:57:59]

I think it is if you send it to me, I'll open it. And if you have a business, I try to promote it. Yeah, just do it on boxing. Yeah, it's fun.

[00:58:06]

It's fun. You get some cool shirts sometimes it's where I get all my money for somebody. This is so a bookstore goes. Yeah, we're a local bookstore. We're open. People don't know that. Would you put this on your thing. So I put it up on my thing and they sent me this book Bellbird read it and I was like, you should really read it. Bill recommended it, man. He reads to you.

[00:58:22]

That's what I said. But I think it's because it's about planes.

[00:58:26]

Oh, and so it's such a great book that I have never in my life read a book. Were you like I didn't buy the audio books. I go, I want to read it. I'm enjoying reading it because it's just filled with fucking information. I didn't know the Japan. I knew Japan was an island, but I didn't know that that meant that no one left and no one got on.

[00:58:50]

So Japan is so in a weird way, like ethnically Japan. Yeah. That there is a Inso like stuff like that. Very homogenous society. Yeah.

[00:59:00]

And they had a period of peace for 200 years.

[00:59:04]

But like my brain processes that and I was like, yeah, because there's no fucking white people. They're like but then I'm like, oh don't say that or just read, just read like in order to process information and not say horrible shit, you know, they call Guijin is what they call white people. I think, by the way, I don't even know the information I read and I'm repeating it. Yeah. And it's not even correct. It's almost like the in height.

[00:59:29]

I know it's called Guijin, Stojan Guijin.

[00:59:33]

It was like the thing you're trying to say is that that you shouldn't read books, by the way.

[00:59:41]

I don't know that it helps reading. Yeah. No, you're having you're thinking about things. You're learning things. You're talking about things I think I do like I read a read. What's the guy that wrote the book with the camel cigarettes on the front with the you know. Well, camel cigarettes on the front. Guy that read the book, he wrote the book with the camel cigarettes on the front. Really popular writer. Everyone loves the guy.

[01:00:02]

Camel cigarettes still pack. Yeah. Still selectwoman a woodpecker. The fuck do I if you didn't read Tom Robbins, I'm a big Tom Robbins fan, you have read this book now, jurors. Yeah. Oh, see my brain read this book. And then all I. I can't tell you what this book is about.

[01:00:22]

I couldn't tell you.

[01:00:26]

Do me a favor, give me two synopsis of two Tom Robbins books, and I've read a couple. I'll tell you which one I couldn't tell you. I'll be honest. I'll tell you which one I think it is. Can I tell you what my take away from Tom Robbins book says? Yeah, that one book was that no one asked dolphins to grow up. No one has dolphins, that no one asks dolphins to grow up. My whole time I read that book, all I thought was I'm a fucking dolphin.

[01:00:49]

Everyone's asking me to grow up and be more mature. I'm a fucking dolphin. I'd like to jump out of the water. I'd like to fuck and run around.

[01:00:55]

I'll come up to your boat like that's all. My only take away from that book. The whole time I read it, I was like, and here they are asking a dolphin a fucking. Is that what the book is about? I have. I could not tell you what that book does a book ever say the word dolphin I have. Can you type in still life with Woodpecker? Leeann's read the book, Still Life with Woodpecker Dolphin and see if anything comes up.

[01:01:19]

And sometimes I'll read a book and I'll just go. I'll grab one thing out of it and the whole book of fixate on that one thing. You have so many tabs open, it's giving me anxiety. What does it say about Cubans have evolved to their. Getting anything? Oh, yeah, yeah, because they seldom grow up dolphins right there. We're right there. Yeah. And so the whole time, that's the whole book. I don't know what that looks about, but that one quote is the only thing I remember that from that.

[01:01:46]

Oh that's great then. Because that gives you like it made you feel a certain way. It changed your perspective in a certain way, your favorite book you've ever read.

[01:01:55]

OK, how about this? Yeah. Favorite book, favorite movie. Favorite artist like like hip hop or what, like music or whatever. OK, go. Whatever comes head first, I know I'm trying to think of like a favorite book, I don't know that I have a book where I'm like, man, what's one that you read that was really good? Well, there's different ones for different reasons. Right.

[01:02:20]

Like, you know, I remember like the first time I read, like, the four agreements where I was like, wow, I felt like so inspired by, like, the fact that he broke down these simple things, you know, same thing like the war of art and not the art of war.

[01:02:34]

The War of art. Same thing. The War Horse, the silver book. Yeah, that's right. That that's about us.

[01:02:38]

So those are like more like life, you know, motivating kind of stories about how many people were in the secret and fuck them up. You never read that? No. Yeah. Because remember, we were together when the secret came out. Yeah. And we were talking about it and we're like, it seems ridiculous.

[01:02:54]

Yeah. I just I kept hearing people summarize it. I was like, I don't need to read that.

[01:02:59]

I don't know the other ones if I do that with a lot of books. But like you're big Catcher in the Rye fan, right.

[01:03:06]

Reddick's I thought it was a baseball book I being dead fucking serious.

[01:03:12]

I was. You don't read it when you're an adult. You read it in your child. Yeah. And I was like Catcher in the Rye. I mean I'm a catcher. I'll do it, let's do it. And I read it and I'm like one to play baseball and then never play baseball. And I was like, I don't remember anything about that movie or about that book at all. I don't remember anything about that book. Holden Caulfield, his name.

[01:03:28]

Yeah, I remember reading it. I think freshman, his brother killed himself or something.

[01:03:32]

And I remember I read it in a long time. OK, I'm going to go I'm going to go first and then I want you to go top ten books I've ever read. Here we go. Top ten. I'm going to do ten books. Top ten books. Let me just rephrase that. Ten books.

[01:03:46]

I've read ten books. I've read that I can recall. OK, ok. I'm going to go from like. Closing the book, we got one more of those. OK, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Definitely read that you read it now or I think it was good. I can't tell you if it was good.

[01:04:07]

It was just one of those books I read Postman Bukowski. I never read any post office. Was it called Close?

[01:04:14]

Some of those tabs are going to come in there. Some of those I mean, come on. All right, is it called post office or I read that. Bukowski. Yeah, post on the red dot about how he worked at the post office and he wrote he wrote like in the most crude direct and I don't know, just like I've never read this book is I'm like, oh, yeah, men.

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You've never read any books. I've never read any. Yeah. I mean, when I started dating Christina, she was horrible.

[01:04:53]

She fucking read like a nerd.

[01:04:54]

Oh, she's got hundreds of books. Would you ever marry a woman that didn't read. It was like books are stupid, you know. Yeah, right. But we're that guy and they married us like both. Yeah.

[01:05:05]

So she gave me this, she had like philosophy books, but she was like, oh, she was reading some book about like some philosopher was like, you know, I piss in an egg and eat the egg cunt or something.

[01:05:17]

I start laughing and she's like, I think you like Bukowski.

[01:05:20]

I was like and I was like, give me a night.

[01:05:24]

Yeah, I devoured like three of his books. So Post Office is the best. That's the that's his most well-known one, if I remember.

[01:05:30]

All right. Going on Amazon, buying it right now. All right.

[01:05:36]

Because he was an alcoholic, right? Yes. Like a hardcore like Borst.

[01:05:41]

Like I think I'd get along with him. All right. OK, that was then. This is now.

[01:05:49]

You know that one, no, I think it's by seeing the outsiders, but these are all books I read when I was young, I was like, I'm going to get into reading the firm. Everyone read the firm in college. Yeah, I think I was, because I'm you're a little younger than you. I think the one that, like, was more of the explosion was for me, it was right after college I feel like is when the Dan Brown won.

[01:06:13]

What was his bone. The the fuckin. Yeah I know the one Da Vinci Code, Da Vinci Code or read The Da Vinci Code.

[01:06:20]

Yeah. Yes. I love when those books come out. I love in a book like that comes out when I feel like transcended every social, you know, group and demographic. That was like a worldwide phenomenon, you know, more like that.

[01:06:33]

Like, Hey, writers, can you just do more shit like that, like where you're like, hey, like this, everyone's going to like this shit. Yeah.

[01:06:41]

That was very much like a bra and like some people are, I know, super critical of his writing style.

[01:06:47]

Stop with that. No more of that. Like how about this since we're doing like a cultural cleansing in our country. Yeah. Let's clean up with these fucking authors.

[01:06:56]

No more shit that no one can read, no more shit, you just got to go like I am lost, I got to read that paragraph over again. To light easy stuff.

[01:07:06]

Dan Brown, Dan Brown, homerun. James Patterson, homerun guy wrote the firm Grissom home. Right as those. Yeah.

[01:07:13]

And if you want to be an alcoholic and write the post office home run, what was the fucking Jurassic Park home run. All right, Mike. Yeah, yeah. Home run. Let's what are we doing with thoughts?

[01:07:26]

I'm reading this book about breathing. And I'm told this number of times I'm still reading this book is really hard to read about why it's just a lot of breathing.

[01:07:37]

You just end up reading a lot and then you start having a panic attack and just fall asleep if you end up. This is like reading a book about closing your sphincter. You'll end up closing your sphincter a lot. Yeah, but if you read a book about breathing, use that alone.

[01:07:50]

Why do you write like it's a little too much?

[01:07:54]

It's better.

[01:07:54]

I don't even know. But, um, yes, I read recently I'm writing 10 minutes to kill this bottle, Tommy.

[01:08:02]

All right. I read the subtle drink responsibly. I didn't mean it like that. I read the subtle art of not giving a fuck. And I also read the the coddling of the American mind. Yeah, I read that c I know. Do you count listening to a book is reading it at a dinner party. If you say it out loud. If I go I read a book and you go, did you read it. Like I listen to it.

[01:08:24]

I mean, yeah, I guess, right, because then how are you going? Like, I drive a lot here. These are the books I've listened to recently. OK? OK, and part of the Summer Moon, White Fragility, brief brath. Or breathe, I said breathe the Bitcoin standard, splendid, vile guns, germs and steel. I read that book. Yeah, guns, germs and Steel is phenomenal. That's Diamond.

[01:08:50]

Yeah. But that kind of that kind of like, to be honest.

[01:08:54]

What that's a book that I go you shouldn't read if you're not intelligent. Right, because it kind of throws up a little bit of like at some times it throws up like eugenics a little bit right there, like this is why Africa hadn't done any well. And you're like, yeah, hold on.

[01:09:12]

I don't know. I don't know if morons should be reading that.

[01:09:15]

Well, the way that you summarized it is not it kind of is.

[01:09:20]

I mean, like, well, no, OK, you're you're right. But that's a moron telling you what he read, OK? And that's why I say and by the way, I'm smart enough to know don't try to quote that book and like, I'm empathetic. I don't know if I'm smart enough, but I'm empathetic enough to know that that's not what I read per say. But you could read that into that, right? Yeah. If you wanted to, like, really miss.

[01:09:43]

Analyze and and kind of skim over stuff, you could, I guess, summarize it that way. I thought, what am I saying, though, in that? Because you know what I'm talking about.

[01:09:52]

I know what you're saying, because essentially what Guns, Germs and Steel is telling you is like I mean, even I'm, you know, doing a poor summary of it. But it's another example of why. Well, it's like it's saying like, you know, why is the why does it work this way? Why is like, why are the powers where they are?

[01:10:09]

Why are the places that didn't evolve in the in the into the modern times? And why why are they still poor? Why, you know, why is it have and have not. And this guy is giving you like a history lesson. I have read the book in a couple of years, in a few years. But he's sort of saying, you know, like, well, you know, when when these guys when these crops start to grow in these in these regions, you could start growing this food and feeding people.

[01:10:37]

And by not having to hunt for food, it's just one of the things I remember in the book by those people not having to, like, spend their day trying to find something to kill and eat by just being able to grow, then you're smarter. People in this in this group can start developing other things like industry, science, innovate, because they're not. The whole group is not like all we have to do is find food all day, like that's our only mission.

[01:11:03]

So then you have like you're your most brilliant minds instead of innovating, developing or being worried about tigers. So that was part of it, too, right. Is that they don't have cattle in Africa because of tigers.

[01:11:15]

I remember like I said, it's been a long time, but then, you know, like so when you have that that group that was able to harvest and grow crops, because just by the luck of their location, the location that it has, the right amount of sun and rain and whatever, then that lets them all send progress at a much more rapid rate. Right. So that's one example. And he talks about, you know, of course, how weapons evolve, allow you to dominate another crazy.

[01:11:44]

It's a fascinating, fascinating. The flyboy's they were saying one of Japan's feelings was Halcomb. Only white people are conquering. Everybody is the Dutch. It's the British. It's the it's the Americans. Like America conquers all of Mexico. Meaning California. Yeah, all of Mexico. And then and then Japan's like, why can't we do it? Because we're not white. Watch this. And then they go through Asia and go, we will we will dominate here.

[01:12:11]

And then white people shut up. They're like, that's what we do. By the way, this isn't even really what I read.

[01:12:17]

I think I don't think it's what you read like because I summarize it in a way where it adds to my like, me telling a story or whatever. That's why I don't think people should read.

[01:12:28]

It's a good argument.

[01:12:29]

This episode of Two Bears, One Cave is brought to you by Woop. I love where I am. I woop wear it 24/7. Bert, where's that? A lot of our friends have it and we have become completely addicted to the details, the insight that the group provides from everything, like the metrics like recovery, sleep and strain. And of course keeping track of like what activities do what to your body. You play tennis, you do this, you lift weights, this happens.

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[01:13:32]

You should have to, you should have to get just like a gun. You should have to pass a test to get a book like you should have to go on. They go yeah yeah yeah. Here's a do you want to book.

[01:13:42]

And they're like yeah they're like well we got pornography right there. I'm like, oh we're like never mind. Yeah, you're good, you're good. Let's do it. Let's come up with a book test. You'd have to get dude to get a book. OK, ok. Like we'll be a good book test like just like a gun where they're like, hey, we need you to know I'm reading the book and I'm remembering other books I've read.

[01:14:00]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We never is this game. I know because I'm going through this list now.

[01:14:05]

Can't Hurt Me by David Gorgons. Read that, I didn't read that. I read Tribes' was A by the tribes. I think this is the book where, um, he writes about how you basically if you can get I think I think the number was a thousand people.

[01:14:25]

You have a tribe and like you can what.

[01:14:27]

But this is exactly what I'm talking about because I read a while ago. I know. But that information stays in your head. Yeah.

[01:14:34]

And the way you morphed out, if you can get like a thousand. Yeah. Then you have a tribe, like I said, like I said to Lee-Anne, we were talking about was I just doing it to a unit of I go, I go. I was talking to someone the other day and he said he could do three thousand squats and the dog goes, three thousand. And I go, pretty sure that's what he said. And he goes, 3000.

[01:14:52]

I went three hundred years. Sounds more like it. Like if you don't have someone to call you on your bullshit and say you're the smartest moron, then you can start a fucking fucking you can start a cult. Yeah. That is a movie, The Smartest Moron. The smartest moron, he just gathers his morons, I had a development deal for this is a few years ago about a doctor who graduated last in his class.

[01:15:18]

So he I remember this and that. Do you remember how hard I laughed when you told me about it? No, no, no, no, no. Know it's fucked it up. So you remember how hard I laughed when we were on the phone and you said, I have a development deal.

[01:15:29]

And I said, OK, what's it about? You said, I play a doctor.

[01:15:32]

And I said, oh yes, I do remember that you laugh. I cried. And I was like, I didn't even finish. And you're like, I haven't even told you. I don't need to hear it. I got it in. You went what? I said, no, no, no, no. You're not a good doctor. You go from the worst. And I went, Oh, no, I got it. I could not stop laughing.

[01:15:48]

I told everyone about how great that was going to be, man. I would tell that on stage. On stage. Talabani the hardest. I laughed like the next weekend I was on the road and I said, You don't want to hear the funniest thing. I go, Tom's doing a TV show and he plays a doctor and the place would fall out laughing. And they're like, he's a doctor.

[01:16:04]

And I was like, Yeah, yeah.

[01:16:08]

B.J. Porter. Um, B.J. Porter. Who's that? He wrote it with me. He was. It was. So he's the guy from the office now.

[01:16:14]

As B.J. Novak I wrote this. I read the psychopath inside.

[01:16:19]

Um, I read Confessions Confessions of a Sociopath.

[01:16:25]

I read, um, uh, let's see how to win. That was Mark Cuban. I read Confessions of an Economic Hit Man that's really good between the world and me. Tallahassee Coates. I read that. I read Girl on the Train. Um, oh.

[01:16:43]

Were you a fan? I bet you would love all the Malkin Malcolm Gladwell ones, right? I was. And I don't like his new stuff. Is new stuff he's doing. No, I'm not too sure on Malcolm Gladwell. Definitely everything he has done. I've been a huge fucking fan of it. Yeah, I had a joke. I say I'm not racist. I'm a I'm an economist because I love numbers. Numbers don't lie about stuff. And when he said stuff, I connect with that.

[01:17:05]

I go, yeah, that does make sense. Like that makes sense. Like I like things to make sense to me where I go. I need the numbers to work out. If the numbers don't work out, then I can't get along with you.

[01:17:15]

You know, it's just like another book I just remembered.

[01:17:19]

I read about habits, how to form habits, the seven habits. But now it's like like how to make if there's a yellow cover, I have it at home.

[01:17:29]

You remember the joke I used to have about reading Memoirs of a Geisha? Yeah, what was your joke? I said I can't. This is another reason why I shouldn't read. Yeah, the power of habit. That's one of the when I read a book, I cast it in my head.

[01:17:43]

And when I read Memoirs of a Geisha, I only knew, like, a couple Japanese actors. And I was like, great. She'll be played by Mr. Miyazaki in your head. In my head. So the whole time I just saw Mr. Miyagi in the dress and then.

[01:17:54]

Yeah, but that's not that's Hollywood's being racist.

[01:17:57]

And so the. All right. How do we surmise this episode murder this bottle of wine?

[01:18:03]

Uh, definitely. Uh, are you still taping your mouth shut? Uh, no. We had headphones on.

[01:18:11]

What's this? Just here, let me give you a little titty tapper.

[01:18:14]

OK, well, OK. You're right. I need some.

[01:18:17]

Do I got to get on the treadmill to find, uh, do you think that mine is going to be like, hey, don't drink our wine anymore? I like the way you do it.

[01:18:29]

Maybe. OK, um, so because you I've asked like, do you snore before and you be like your, your answers are not very consistent. You've been like, no I don't. And then you'll be like, oh I'm sorry, do my mouth again. No I don't. All right, or you're not going to restore or. Yeah, I think it was snoring, I don't know, she doesn't sleep in the room with me. So this is a post from Eila.

[01:18:55]

I think I posted this right.

[01:18:58]

I think it says Al, Krischer, I krischer, I can't tell Christchurch's Leon Leon. OK, all right, cool. I don't remember this one was this you were asleep? No, no, I was asleep. Imagine sleeping next to that. Oh, that's rough. Yeah, so you're done taping your mouth. I couldn't even make that noise again now see if I can do it. And it's it's it's different, the vibration is different. I was, but my voice was higher than my voice lowered in octaves.

[01:19:53]

I think the older I've gotten. Yeah, yeah, it's deeper. Do you like this one? I do, actually. You can't tell the difference that it's like I do healthier for you, right? Yeah, I know it's good.

[01:20:03]

But the way you snore, I want to hear a video of you snoring. Do you have one of you? Is that the Fed? No, no. It's just that like you had brought up that you were taping your mouth shut. Are you having a joke about that? About going. My wife goes, oh, you have no idea how hard it is to live with. He snores. He doesn't flush the toilet. And when he drinks, his semen tastes like shit.

[01:20:23]

And I was like, maybe you have low standards. Maybe you need to step your game up. Sounds like you're sucking all hippo's cock at the end of the day.

[01:20:32]

So you're the only cum Somalia you remember this year only comes Somalia out there. I don't know. I've been around a lot. I never put it in my mouth, OK, and then complained about the taste. Well, so you're telling me come taste bad.

[01:20:45]

Shut up. You're doing something comes out of the head of my dick. Does it taste awesome? Go. All these years I've been like, thank God I didn't put it in my mouth.

[01:20:55]

So wait, what made you stop? What made you stop trying to keep your mouth shut?

[01:20:59]

Because I viewed choking episodes where I just stopped breathing. Don't think you should get a CPR. No, they're supposed to be. Do you have one? No, but I didn't.

[01:21:08]

I'm not the one who said I'm having these episodes breathing. No, no, no. With snoring. It's snoring is I can't wait. It blows wind up my nose. It makes my allergies, makes my nose close up. You've tried it. I did a sleep test and it was a fucking nightmare. At one point I said to the woman, she comes in so they give you like I think they had three different masks. They give you like one that's like super simple right up the nose.

[01:21:30]

Right. Well, then that doesn't work because I don't fall asleep. And so then they come up with another one and it's a little more like aggressive. And then she comes in another one, which is a oxygen like is you going scuba diving.

[01:21:42]

She's putting it on my head. She has to put on my head. I'm sitting in the bed and I'm looking at her. And the look in my eyes says her, this isn't happening. And she goes, You just want to go home. I was like, Yeah. So I got a fucking today diagnosis from that. They say, you have apnea or. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I definitely do, but I but I know if I lay on my side, it's not as bad as if I sleep on my back sometimes, like even to take a nap, I'll just stop breathing or you're making a case for like a definite need for a C pap, you know that.

[01:22:14]

No, I would love that you're OK. Hey do you guys have is there a forums for sleep apnea masks?

[01:22:21]

A shout out to Nina and David, if you can get me a sponsorship for sleep apnea mask where I don't have talking about your well-being.

[01:22:29]

No, I know, but I'm not going to do it. I'm not. Please tell me where before him's fucking ad in here. I don't like having these conversations with doctors. It's easier for me to have online. Like, I don't want to go to a doctor and then go, yeah, you have sleep apnea. I go, cool. And he goes, how about you? Have you ever done the test? The test? Oh, here's the test you need to tell.

[01:22:47]

You definitely need to test. No, it won't give you a mask without a test. You have to know the test and you have to go there and have to spend the night in a weird fucking room in the middle of a fucking.

[01:22:55]

You can't just get a cab. No, you have to take the test. And even taking the test, they don't know which one's right for you. What have you called a doctor? And you said, hey, I have sleep apnea and I lost my sleep.

[01:23:06]

I'm doing right now. I'm doing it right now. You ready? Yeah, let's do it.

[01:23:09]

Let's get going to get a new CPR machine, OK? Here we go. I'm calling my doctor right now, OK, to get a new up. I just I'm going to just say I know, I know. And I'm going to tell them. I'm going to say I need to keep up. Can you get me a OK? And we'll see what he says.

[01:23:25]

OK. All right. It's not going to go take a big test. He's going to go, oh, you got to trust your husband, right, sir?

[01:23:31]

Hey, Drew. What's going on, buddy? Hey, we're doing two babies, one K. Can you prescribe me a C pap?

[01:23:37]

No. See, I told you so y y how come you got to take a test, write a CPR machine for your insurance were to cover it.

[01:23:46]

We'd have to do the sleep test. Yes.

[01:23:48]

OK, how much is it. Just cost me to buy one. I don't know. Why do you want this so bad.

[01:23:53]

Because Tom and I are talking about. We are. You're on our podcast Entourage's. OK, hold on. Oh Drew. Drew, that's ok. He definitely definitely has sleep apnea. OK, he was awake.

[01:24:05]

So what is the answer. If you like having big snoring. Oh he, he has crazy snoring. And then he goes, you know, even when I take a nap, sometimes I gasp for air like all the checkmark apnea, you know. Right, Telx. And I'm like, dude, you need to get a C Pap. And he's like, no, I don't want to go do the sleep test. I'm like, well, can't you just buy a machine?

[01:24:26]

OK, so so here's sort of what we can do, OK? At first, either I'm right here, so we have to create a record, I need to examine you and no big deal.

[01:24:41]

And I can do it on your podcast or something if you want. The insurance may or may not pay for it, OK, you have to have a record one way or another just for my proper practice. And if you're saying if your position is I will not take a sleep exam, no. Then then. All right. And then my position would be, well, do you need this thing? So I'm going to prescribe it. This is not this practice what I like doing, but I will do it.

[01:25:08]

OK, how about this, Drew? Prescribe me all three different separate machines. No insurance.

[01:25:14]

No, no, no, no. We're going to do like a nasal BIPAC and we can do that. People can tolerate and we're going to get it and see what we can do and then we'll see with you. Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

[01:25:25]

Hold on, hold on. Wait, Bert, why don't they do? No, I just want you to say that I was right and that you can't just get one. So, like, that's why this is the whole thing. This is why, like this all this stuff gives me anxiety dream. And then I go, I'll just go to sleep by a machine.

[01:25:40]

You can't everything. But everything gives you anxiety. Everything gives you anxiety.

[01:25:44]

I know, but it's different because I'm afraid that I don't know. It's just a lot seems like a lot of legwork.

[01:25:49]

A lot of me driving somewhere, sleep and wake up, get there and deal with this. That's right now it seems like more on Brand for me, yes, but let's do it, let's do it, OK? And I do I hear what you're saying. I'd like to hear from LeAnn that she confirmed that concurrent concurs in this sleeping in this story and the gasping and also. OK, and and and let's get this underway.

[01:26:16]

OK, I'll give you a call as soon as we are done here. I see. That is that is. And I'm telling you, I really hope you have to do this. No, no. I really hope we have before him a commercial in here because this is the truth is like I am right now, an example of every fucking dude. I don't want to have this. I don't want to go to an office. I don't want to fucking deal with this shit.

[01:26:37]

I just want to go online and go, I got it. Send me this shit. Give me a downgraded version of it. I don't need the fucking ten thousand dollar one. Yeah. Give me like one where I can afford and pay it off in like eleven dollars a month or whatever the fuck.

[01:26:49]

Whatever. I'm just saying for like the average guy and then go and let me try it out, see if I like it and if it works that's great.

[01:26:55]

Maybe if it works a little bit then I'll go to a doctor and go, hey, I really need this shit. But I did this test. It was a fucking nightmare that I don't know, it was a nightmare to do the sleep test. And I was like, let's wrap it.

[01:27:05]

OK, hold on. I'm the middle of a point, OK?

[01:27:08]

Because I'm right. No, it's definitely yes, I'm right.

[01:27:10]

I did not think you were right. You thought I could call a doctor and they just give me one, right? Yeah. And I told you, no, I'm going to go fucking. But then he also and he's like, all right, I'll give you one. No, he said you got to come to an office, will do unneighborly nasal swab syllabub, whatever you fucking said.

[01:27:24]

I'm Buzz. Let's get some lunch, you know. Yeah. All right. All right. Murdo, these are just a glass of wine.

[01:27:32]

Just a glass of wine. Just want a sip it like a normal person. Let me when I say, oh, no. OK, ok. Yeah, go ahead. This is our normal person sips wine. OK, I like Sylvester Stallone.

[01:27:43]

OK, you have a wonderful day and congrats on everything. Yeah. It's a twelve thirty in the morning. Cheers. In the afternoon. In the afternoon.

[01:27:51]

OK. Wow, Sylvester, as you really were thirsty, huh?

[01:28:10]

I love that fucking wine, good stuff. Kill it.

[01:28:13]

Kill it. Kill it. Yeah, murder it. There you go.

[01:28:19]

I love murdering. Hey, let's do a sleep test together, OK, let's do a sleep test together where we both get in the same bed if I don't fall asleep before you unplug and punch you.

[01:28:32]

I will fucking sleep. Yeah, they have to.

[01:28:39]

It will be sober, I know I wasn't sober when I did, but you weren't. I brought a bottle of wine. They let you drink it, spelled it out like I was like, let's show up.

[01:28:55]

Let's take let's take the what's the sleeping aid Ambien. Let's take like one and a half Ambien. Let's take one or two and then just play. I think I'm ready to sleep.

[01:29:04]

I just wake up and our arm is to our sleep and they're like, you guys have severe apnea.

[01:29:15]

It's covered in air. They're like, I don't know, man.

[01:29:19]

You guys were like screaming racial slurs. It takes a lot before this is like you guys tweeted about the secretary of state, like we were having a drink and I think a sleep together. Probably not.

[01:29:34]

You find a place to sleep together in the same bed with our wives. All right.

[01:29:42]

We've got to run. Oh, uh, thank you guys for watching. Thanks for listening. We'll see you guys on the next one. I love you.

[01:29:50]

I love you, too.

[01:29:52]

But no one goes topless while the other wears the shirt. Tom tells stories in bird snowmachine, there's not a chance in hell they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call sandbaggers. Okay. No scrapes, a bit of booze, amateur pathology, dirty jokes, raunchy humour, no apologies. Here's what more call. So there's one case.