Happy Scribe Logo

Transcript

Proofread by 0 readers
[00:00:00]

One time I was talking to Rogan about we were like we were working out together in a hotel and he was like, you know. When I work out, I think about that someone's trying to kill me. And that's how I that's what I push up against, and I was like, what? And he goes, Yeah, I just I imagine that someone's trying to kill me. And that's as I pushed through the window to realize how little we have in common.

[00:00:25]

Hundred percent, huh? What do you mean?

[00:00:32]

It's what what are we haven't seen you in a minute. How are you doing buddy. Oh it's so good to be here. I feel like I've lost weight but it doesn't show. Yeah.

[00:00:40]

I have those workouts going. Uh. Horrible, horrible, you looked you were walking, really, you were limping and I'm not walking very well at all soreness. So I'm doing two days, I'm doing two a day, I'm doing five and a half miles every day. By the way, two thousand miles is unattainable. It's really is unattainable.

[00:00:58]

I need is there a bet you have going or something with me. OK, just with myself. I know. Try to tell that to my daughters. I was like, are you going to call an audible on your total?

[00:01:05]

You're going, no, I'm going to fucking I'm going to push forward. Michelle will have already told me you need to cut yours to fifteen hundred. You're not going to do two thousand. She's like already said, like there's no way you're getting to two thousand. Does that make you want to do it. Pakora. I'm not going have a woman tell me physically, especially a redheaded woman. Are you out of your fucking mind Michelle.

[00:01:26]

Nonsensically no good angle.

[00:01:30]

She can I tell you I had to I. It's weird when you find out other comics are like good at other things or when you Blake when I learn that too, they're like, you know, Michele Wolf runs. And I was like, oh, yeah, a lot of people are like, no, no, no. She really runs. Yeah. Like, oh, no one wants a fat check in that. I get it. No, I'm sure.

[00:01:49]

Nicki, everyone runs.

[00:01:50]

Amy Schumer runs a show of some like macho fucking bitchy cross-country running at rim to rim, type in rim to rim. Sounds a lot dirtier than it is. She did rim to rim. No one was saying she did rim to rim. Hold on.

[00:02:03]

Let's just call Michelle Wolf and have her tell her what rim doremus. So Michelle, Wolf and I texted her when I ran a thousand miles, how many miles did you run this year? She goes, That's an interesting question. Right back, 1500 DataDot And then the next day, just upset by another 10 miles. And I'm like, whoa, she's like a thousand miles logit accomplishment. And I was like, yeah, it was.

[00:02:25]

And I looked at my numbers to the mirror and I was like, there were months where I had like seven my like months where I didn't really have balls. Yeah. I was like, I bet if I really focus I get to two thousand miles. And she just writes back, what's the challenge this year? And I was like, bitch, you know, my fucking voice. You know how I think.

[00:02:42]

What's your hashtag? Wolf to machine. Will everyone stop it got flag because these fucking assholes sort of just putting Bert Fox wolves all over it.

[00:02:52]

So if I catch a wolf, I'd fuck it.

[00:02:57]

OK, Michelle, Wolf, let's fuckin someone doesn't have an iPhone. OK, do we face time or go for it at times like a legit. Hand out like you FaceTime someone that's like, yo, I'm here, yeah, that's like kicking someone's window open like space time. Then they know, hey, we're we're being serious about this. Oh, yeah. This is a real friendship now.

[00:03:19]

Yeah. I wonder if she's going to answer it, because I'm too close. It's a pretty aggressive move. Especially someone like I probably met Michelle. Once. By text with her, so it's always times like it's a lot, but there's a lot of things you could be doing that you're like, Hey man, yeah, you should text me first before you do unavailable.

[00:03:47]

Right? Like, I don't want to forget face time. This guy, can you just text like everybody else?

[00:03:53]

Just text that. Are you doing all right. On a podcast with Tom. Talking about our mileage face time, if you can. Pilot Dave Chappelle on his compound, yeah, she's in she's in Austin, she's in Austin. I'm sure she is. She's got the do you want to talk about, like you to talk about best quarantines ever? Yeah. Michelle Wolf spent the entire quarantine in Yellow Springs with Dave Chappelle doing shows, getting tested nonstop, running outdoors and doing shows and doing shows.

[00:04:26]

Non fucking stop. Yeah, she'll she'll have one of the best specials, you know that already if I'm in that place. Exactly like my that's my goal right now. Yeah. That's my her Muammer Donelle. They're the only ones doing stand up. And so. All right. So Michelle, I got Michelle, I texted her, I said doing a face time with Tom, talking about much now.

[00:04:45]

So I'm doing two days in order to get around your five.

[00:04:48]

I ran around 5:00 this morning and run five. I didn't run my five and a half. So what I do is the way my brain works is I don't run the five and a half. I'm forced. Go on the treadmill at the end of the day. Very, very end of the day. Yeah. And then if I get on the treadmill, the end of the day, I'll put in two and a half. I'll just get I just do two and a half.

[00:05:04]

So then I'll get above my mileage. So I always fall short for miles, three miles and then whatever. Now I'm doing two days.

[00:05:10]

So I started working with a trainer. A jet trainer and how do you get the trainer, how did you find how do you pick a trainer movies? What do you mean movie production? The production picture, movie production. Let's just leave it bland movie production like she's she's a movie. She is the person a production hires to get someone to lose weight. I can't tell you all the business. Right. Right. OK, but but so.

[00:05:35]

So she's referred to you. Yes. OK. And she's friends with Kate Fletcher. Really good friends with pleasure.

[00:05:40]

She's one of them, by the way, when they came over, what is she, the one that was with Tate when they came? When I were you? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you better. Yeah, you better if I was in the passenger seat. Yep, yep, yep, yep. So. First day, I mean, like I'm sitting there going like I run 500 pounds a day, I'm in pretty good shape, I am hungover.

[00:05:58]

The first time she had me just do this, like just go, like, raise my arms 13 times. Yeah.

[00:06:04]

And also I do that in physical therapy.

[00:06:06]

Fucking my back's on fire and I'm like, yeah she's like now out to the side and then she has me do sit shit where I just go that's stupid.

[00:06:15]

No one like why would I do that. Like just like doing standing in like a plank and then grabbing a weight and pulling it to one side, then switching it and doing that like fucking 70 times. I did, I did lunges for five minutes straight.

[00:06:31]

That's why you're walking funny. Yeah. And I'm just like my body is fucked. Yeah. Fucked.

[00:06:36]

So then I do, I do runs in the morning or in the afternoon then runs at night. How many days a week. I do trainer four days a week. Wow. And I run every day. I have to run and I have to run five and 1/2 miles every day, every day of the week to make.

[00:06:53]

When you if you go do your thing or whatever, like you're not be able to keep that pace up. I don't know, I don't know. So here's travel or something. Here's my goal. Here's my goal. My goal is. I can if I can drop a little bit of weight, like just a little bit, how much is a little bit of fucking right now? 10 pounds would be astronomical. And then I and then my body will feel better.

[00:07:15]

Running and running will be a lot easier. Like I noticed that running from the even just the beginning of the year, when I finish a thousand miles to where I am today, I can run so much better.

[00:07:24]

Speaking of which. You are moving better. Yeah, yeah, you're moving. Look, now, how fucking crazy is that? How long ago is this injury now? December 1st, December 1st. So we're looking at nine weeks, nine, ten, nine weeks.

[00:07:40]

Yeah. You thought did you ever think it was and that you're never going to get to the place where you can, like, walk where you are?

[00:07:45]

No, it's it's very like there's a lot of different thoughts. Like at first, you know, even after surgery, they go they point to the arm, they're like, fine, you're going to be fine. The nerves in your arm and your hand will come back. It'll take a long time. I'm like, OK. And then they go, the real thing's going to be that knee. And I'm like, well, like I wasn't even thinking, what do you mean?

[00:08:08]

Like, you fixed it? And they're like. You're going have to learn to walk again, you have muscle atrophy in your quad, you have the most atrophy is almost gone, right? No, no, it stop atrophying some using it. Yeah, yeah. OK. To build it back. You see it when you see it right now. For real. I'll show you after. Really.

[00:08:25]

You can see that the right leg is full too.

[00:08:27]

And like you can see both thighs and get a big dick.

[00:08:32]

It's, it's freaky to look at. I bet paraplegic does have the biggest Haag's. I don't know about that type in paraplegic dick. It's got to be a porn. There's got to be a porn paraplegic.

[00:08:44]

I don't know about that. I can call a paraplegic just to write. He called paraplegic. OK. What's that second one there? That's a. A paraplegic girl who got waxed at the 17 second clip. Um, yeah, we got a pair of blue Ms. It can't be something I want to see. I guess not because I'm paraplegic, but she's just not moving. Uh, the. With. I mean, she's not fighting back. She doesn't feel anything.

[00:09:28]

Now, you feel your vagina right now, not if you're a real, true paraplegic, can you not feel you? That could be a paraplegic. I mean, if you're a true paraplegic, right. Like you don't have feeling below your waist, I don't see. What do we call an expert who we know. I know Guy. Yeah. Yeah, OK. Um. And we ask him if he feels his dick. His iPad, I don't know how old do you know the guy is pretty good.

[00:09:56]

OK. Give him a call. Ask him, how is this is this a bad phone call to make someone just say this phrase, hey, don't be like, hey, man, we're doing this thing. How do you feel?

[00:10:09]

Just be like, hey, we have questions about, um, sex with, you know, can we ask you. But that's maybe that's Shinada, his name then like like how do you know the guy? I know a party with him. I got him so drunk he fell out of his wheelchair one time. OK, I thought you like and I got paralyzed now then I say definitely don't call him. No. Like he comes on my shows.

[00:10:30]

I know him. I think you can call him. Yeah. Yeah. Get ready to take it out. Zubaan, what's up? How are you? Good. Hey, you're on a podcast with me and Tom. Sweet. Hey, we were talking we have some paraplegic questions, we have some questions we wanted to ask you. Is it cool if we ask if we ask them to ask whatever you want? Oh, that's what I love.

[00:11:08]

OK, so Tom has has atrophy in his left leg. Yeah. And he's been noticing that his dick looks bigger. Is that like a is your dick look bigger when you when you're when you're paraplegic? Why, because you're like smaller, so it makes your dick just that much bigger. Yeah, yeah. I think, you know, one small anyway, so I don't think I mean, Jesus Christ. Same same ground.

[00:11:33]

The same same smile. Don't change anything, Tomstad. Same same fucking funny isn't it. Hey, wait.

[00:11:41]

So so then so then does your dick get hard. Can you have sex. Yeah, my wife's pregnant as we speak. Hey, congratulations. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, pregnancy whistle back. You mean you don't? You know, Mark, you ever see the documentary Murderball? Yeah. Oh, here. Hang on, Tom. Let's talk to you. Hey, how are you doing, buddy? I'm good yourself.

[00:12:06]

Doing well, thank you. I have a question, though, because we were we were talking this is all prompted by Burt's perversions.

[00:12:11]

But, um, so I saw a clip of a woman who was paralyzed and she in this interview, it was it was like a very I think it's on Tic-Tac.

[00:12:25]

And she she has a whole she's a whole feet about it. She was in an accident, you know, a few years ago. And in this in this video, she said, you know, I get asked this.

[00:12:33]

She goes, no, I don't feel, um, penetration or intercourse because I have no feeling. And so it led to the question about, well, you know, maybe that's the level of paralysis she has as opposed to, you know, I mean, like that some people can feel and some can't.

[00:12:50]

Does that make sense or. No?

[00:12:51]

Yeah, of course. OK, you know, like my so I broke my neck and I can feel everything. So it's good and bad. You know, I have my legs fucking suck because they don't really work so well. But they.

[00:13:05]

You feel everything go OK. Yeah. No, depending upon where one of the person breaks their neck and how bad they do or back, if it's severed, if it's severed, then you're usually going to get not you're not going to the feeling or the mobility. Right. Right.

[00:13:21]

So if you so they're like there's paralyzed males who don't feel below the weight, like don't feel anything sexual, like sexual organs.

[00:13:33]

OK, so it's just it's basically you do feel these things because of the type of injury allows you to still feel it.

[00:13:41]

Yeah, that's exactly it. OK, just how much damage to your spinal cord essentially.

[00:13:46]

Got you. OK, thanks for answering that man to any time. Hey. Fuqiang, thank you very much, I fucking love you. All right, well, I'll give you a call later, OK? Yeah, we'll be thinking about your dick with more questions later. If we have any more questions, we'll call you. Please do. All right, Brother Azara, later. Bye.

[00:14:04]

That's a great fucking doc. Murderball. Murderball is fucking pull up, Zubaan.

[00:14:09]

Which reminds me, I just saw two things that are phenomenal. Yes. Go scroll down. Hey, by the way, you have Mark Zupan is having that cued up with noted. I mean, that's proof right there.

[00:14:21]

Why we got rid of that fucking amazing. Good job. God damn. Yeah. We didn't have to ask you. Zupan lives. I see him every time I'm in Texas. I'm not going to tell you where he lives. But if you remember Tom in Texas and I had written a joke about him.

[00:14:33]

Oh, Houston. No, no, actually not. I was trying to walk you in.

[00:14:37]

Yeah, I wrote a joke about him and I didn't like it was an accent. I didn't know whether I'd ever meet him. And then he was at one of my shows and I was like, Dude, I wrote a joke about you a long time ago. You remember the joke? Do I? Yeah, I'm certain you do.

[00:14:52]

I watch the the the trailer for Murderball in a theater. It was they someone to play the trailer and or with with a lot of people. I don't know when I remember where it was and sometimes I mishear things and it makes me laugh. And Mark Zupan got paralyzed because he fell asleep in the back of a truck. He got drunk, fell asleep in the back of the truck, flew out of the truck. I woke up paralyzed. That's not a funny story when you hear that.

[00:15:14]

That's kind of sad. Yeah, I misheard it. And I thought he said I was paralyzed from the waist up and I couldn't stop laughing at the idea of a guy just could walk around but couldn't use the top of him. And I couldn't stop laughing. And the fact that I was laughing at that inappropriate time made me laugh even harder. And Liane's like, fucking stop. It's not nothing good about this is funny. Yeah. And I couldn't stop laughing.

[00:15:38]

And everyone thought I was an asshole. I mean, I told it to him on stage. We were wasted and he laughs already fell out of his chair. He did. Yeah. He's the fucking best man. Yeah. That you've never seen.

[00:15:48]

Murderball. Murderball is a great fucking great documentary. Fucking documentary. It really is really, really good. So.

[00:15:55]

So then what are we start. Oh about what. Instead of just losing, I guess you'd have to lose weight. Just stop using your legs. Your dick looks bigger.

[00:16:03]

Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. No. And about my, my getting around I also do, I do pt three days a week, I do Otti twice a week and I work out five days a week.

[00:16:11]

Let's talk, let's talk about this. Yeah. Hold on. Put a pin on where we were. OK, let's go back for a second. Were there moments in this injury where you thought, I may not know life like I did before, I think brief moments like there's there's a whole thing.

[00:16:30]

I mean, you go through so many emotions and the mental like toll that takes on you at certain times, you know, like sometimes it's in the hospital, sometimes in recovery.

[00:16:39]

There's times now where, like, I'll forget for a second that, you know, still healing and I just want to do something quickly. I did the other day and I just I jamai my leg down too hard.

[00:16:50]

And I was like, oh, because, like, you basically are feeling scar tissue ripping inside your knee.

[00:16:55]

And I was like, like my eyes water. And I was like, oh.

[00:16:58]

And then that day I just basically had to like, I couldn't really use it anymore. I just fucked it up for the day.

[00:17:04]

But I mean, there's. Do you realize how bad I would have been?

[00:17:09]

If that had been me. Look, I don't have that I don't think I have that, like, go get them attitude where I would have fucking wallowed in misery, certain I would have had a very hard time getting off pills.

[00:17:24]

Yeah, the pills thing, you got to get off of it, like, pretty quickly, I mean.

[00:17:30]

As soon as you know what did it for me, that wasn't even the pills, it was it was the constipation that they caused because I was by the time I took my third shit with, like, where I had to have help and I was like, so miserable with it that next day when they were like, here's your oxy, I was like, I don't want it. And they're like, are you not in pain? I was like, I don't care.

[00:17:49]

I don't want to do the the constipation again. Oh, for real.

[00:17:52]

Because I wasn't shitting like three and four days at a time. I never cared about that. I, I just found the video so upsetting. One of my favorite things on the new iPhone is when you go to this and it goes one year ago today.

[00:18:05]

Yeah. Yeah. And you find pictures. They like a year ago today, I must been watching a sunset somewhere. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh fuck, where was that?

[00:18:14]

You try to remember it? Well, one of the pictures I found, it was a video that I I don't know how it got on my phone and I don't know where I did it, but I did it in North Carolina. And it was right after the day I fell off the waterfall. Yeah, it was that night. And I was loaded up. I had been drinking and I was on oxes and all of the pills like the fucking Dilaudid.

[00:18:34]

Yeah, I was taking I was taking four milligrams of value type of what a prescription a Valium should be.

[00:18:41]

I was taking four milligrams of volume and I just wasn't thinking and I was drinking and I was in so much pain and such a great combo though.

[00:18:47]

And I did a I did a video of me in a Confederate hat like a Confederate Civil War hat.

[00:18:55]

I'm because we had done a we've done a civil war reenactment that day and I tried to get through it and I had a civil war confederate hat on. And I'm doing a video talking about the injury. And I was looking at myself going, I can't remember being that day.

[00:19:14]

I can't like. Yeah, it's amazing when you're not hurt.

[00:19:17]

You can't remember being hurt or when you're not heartbroken, you can't remember being heartbroken.

[00:19:22]

That's one that's good, right? What when you when you're heartbroken, heartbroken, it's so miserable.

[00:19:28]

And, you know, I was talking about how when you're there is a point where somebody goes, they bring up the girl, they say, Sarah.

[00:19:36]

And you go, oh, I remember that she broke my heart.

[00:19:41]

But then you go like, does it you still feel the and you're like, thank God. No. You tell other people if you tell other people one day, you'll miss the heartbreak. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. That's true. Yeah.

[00:19:53]

But I mean heartbreak feels it's so it's, it feels like your soul is being ripped out of you. Right. Like oh it's the most devastating. It's the same. Did we find what.

[00:20:05]

Volume dosages. What it's supposed to be. Usual dosage, can you scroll in on that? Two to four milligrams of four milligrams sounds right, just two to 10 milligrams, two to four times daily.

[00:20:24]

OK, two milligrams to 10 milligrams, two to four times daily. That's management of disorder's. OK.

[00:20:31]

Oh. Symptomatic, really acute alcohol withdrawal. What's that one, 10 milligrams of him's three or four times during the first 24 hours, reducing it five milligrams as need.

[00:20:44]

Softly It's the same. It's the same. I. It's the same as working out since we're talking about working out a little bit, it's the same as working out because so the day you work out, you're like you're let you get done, the hard work out, your legs tremble and your arms are trembling and you're like, go get your car and you kind of collapse into it. Yeah. And then the next morning you wake up, you go to take a piss and you can't sit on the toilet because your legs hurt.

[00:21:11]

Yeah. And then there's a moment where you're like, I'm like, fucking not moving at all.

[00:21:15]

So is your is your training right now.

[00:21:18]

Are you. Is the like usually with the trainer it is like a goal. Are you like. I'm trying to, I'm trying to get so that I'm not completely obese. I know what what I was trying to get at one point was fucking jacked. Right.

[00:21:33]

Because I think I thought for the for whatever thing, weirdly, you, you do have a frame that I think if you do if you do the exercise and the diet intensely to it, I think you could actually pop seriously.

[00:21:48]

I'm, I'm, I'm but you got to do the diet.

[00:21:51]

I'm sure right now I'm doing the trifecta diet. I just do their meal plan. I do three trifectas a day.

[00:21:57]

You'll be insufferable, at least fun. So exhausting to be around you.

[00:22:01]

I already I already see a difference right here just from doing like it's interesting how months of this coachable I am too because I get.

[00:22:12]

So the other day we're doing this this round, it sounds so pussy for and I understand that, but it's ten push ups, 10 push ups.

[00:22:23]

Ten squats, 10 like rich ups, right, and then ten dips and so and it's rounds of like three rounds, so it's like quick my brain is such a meathead, whatever my my wiring is, is so broad that I go.

[00:22:43]

My brain goes as soon as I get to five, I hear my brain going, come on bitch, you have. And I'm like, look who the where have you been for a while?

[00:22:52]

And it's such a fucking meathead. And then I can't help it. I know myself to throw up almost every time, you know.

[00:22:58]

I mean, everybody has like has different things. Right. You know, I'll think of like coaches that have had in the past and like different sports have played in. And sometimes I'll I'll try to get myself upset when I'm working out. And I'll think of a time where I was slided and I got really upset or somebody disrespected me. Oh, that's what I'm doing today. And I and like, you know, sometimes it'll fire me up. I'm doing that today.

[00:23:20]

But, you know, you always have your own references.

[00:23:23]

One time I was talking to Rogan about we were like we were working out together in a hotel, in a hotel gym. And, you know, we're we're going through whatever, doing different stations and then. You know, it was it was towards the end of the workout and I made some comment about how he was working out or something or how he was pushing himself and he was like, you know. When I work out. I always like looking at, you know, like we're all sweaty and stuff, because I when I work out, I think about that someone's trying to kill me.

[00:24:00]

And that's how I that's what I push up against. I was like, what? And he goes, Yeah, I just I imagine that someone's trying to kill me. And that's as I pushed through the air, realize how little we have in common.

[00:24:16]

But it makes it when you see him, you're like, oh, that makes sense. He works out like someone's trying to kill him. You know, I, I don't like I don't want whatever. I don't like. Idolizing certain statements are things. I don't and I don't want to put Joe shit out there like this when I'll just say very plainly when Chappelle got covid. Yeah, I texted Joe, I think you might have been on that text team.

[00:24:43]

Yeah, I'm not going to say what he said, but what he said was such a mind frame on life. Yeah. That I have used that that exact mind frame. Yeah. I said I want to be like that. Like I when when I said, hey man are you OK? I'm just checking to see an echo of covered. His response was so.

[00:25:04]

So, of course, that was so him. So, Joe, what's the difference is that, you know, he's like. We know the guy that has become like this huge influencer in in in so many fields.

[00:25:19]

Yeah, yeah, we're talking in psychedelics, in in in extraterrestrials, in politics and on social justice, entertainment and entertainment and in fitness and in supplements. I mean, I'm taking what he takes every day. Yeah. I feel sick to my stomach. Yeah. Like his vitamin regimen is nauseating.

[00:25:38]

And I tell you he was like that. Ten years ago, this episode of Two Bears, One Cave is brought to you by Manscape Fellows, we are in the thick of winter and as storms are brewing, it looks like one to three inches are in the forecast when you trim that hibernation bush that's been taking place in your pants. Luckily, our partners at Manscape specialize in products to make sure you're walking around town with beautiful snowballs.

[00:26:03]

Manscape is here to provide you the best tools for your grooming experience.

[00:26:07]

The Lawnmower 3.0 trimmer is the best hygiene tool for the modern man. It really is nice to trim, you know, on your balls down the shaft, around the taint all the way to your hole and know that it's it's effective. It's got the newest technology and you're not going to gouge yourself open and bleed all over your testicles and sheets.

[00:26:28]

Don't get cold feet this winter, get 20 percent off and free shipping by going to manscape dotcom slash bears, 20 percent off with free shipping by going to manscape dotcom bears'. That's 20 percent off with free shipping by going to manscape dotcom bears'. Thanks manscape for making our winter wieners look so good.

[00:26:46]

We deserve to know what we're putting in our bodies and why, especially when it comes to something we take every day. That's why I love ritual. Ritual is a multivitamin reimagined. A multivitamin should contain key nutrient nutrients, informs your body can actually use to help fill in the gaps in your diet. It's traceable. So you always know what nutrients you're taking and where they come from. Thanks to ritual's. One of a kind visible supply chain is designed with your life stages in my mind now it's built for men, women, teens.

[00:27:17]

It's a multivitamin specifically designed to help develop your support system for the different stages you may be in your life, which will makes healthy habits easy. Your multivitamins are delivered to your door every month with free shipping. Always you can start, start or snooze or cancel the description at any time. And if you don't love ritual within your first month, they'll refund your first order, get the key nutrients nutrients without the B.S. rituals, offering our listeners ten percent off during your first three months visit ritual ritual dotcom slash bears to start your ritual today.

[00:27:54]

When I was doing the road with him like ten, ten years ago, ten plus years ago, I mean, same guy he would have he would travel like this bag was huge and open ended.

[00:28:05]

Fucking vitamines pour out of it like he and, you know, always on top of his diet, his exercise, like he's never wavered from that.

[00:28:12]

I have such a different mindset. I literally got on the treadmill this morning and I said. So this is what my brain said, and I hope someone's not trying to kill me, I'm going to I'm going to pretend I'm running away from a murder, I thought hope I TiVo something good. I hope I got something good on the DVR to jog to. Thank God Adam Richman's got a new fucking show. Yes, I fucking watch that motherfucker. And then I was like I was like, I'm going to work out today.

[00:28:39]

Maybe I'll order Domino's and Pizza Hut.

[00:28:43]

That's how you get jacked. And then I was like, if I know that I get a treat at the end of the day, I get Domino's Pizza and I get to taste test them with my daughters. I'm going get two pizzas. OK, first of all, hey, hold on a second. We're going to get the deep dish Domino's, because that's the Pizza Hut. We're going to get the thin crust pizza. Then we're going to get the Brooklyn Pie from Domino's.

[00:29:01]

And we're never going to get regular pie from Domino's. And we're all going to take it.

[00:29:03]

And I'm like, the fuck is wrong with my brain? Yeah, like, that's where my brain is. I think of Joe's text to me that day. That morning I was, you know, me with the exposure of it. Yeah. Very fucked up. Yeah. And I can sometimes I wake up and I go to have to have it to have it. I'm not that anxiety just alone has been somewhat debilitating. I just got chills right now.

[00:29:25]

And I was like either I'm getting covid or that was a cool moment.

[00:29:27]

You know, I want Johs, I want I would love for Joe's voice to be in my head instead of mine.

[00:29:34]

So he's got a huge podcast. You can listen to him all the time. I have. I got to be honest with you, I'm having a hard time with the whole Spotify thing. Really? Yeah. What about it? I like you know, I'm obsessed with Joe's, but I couldn't get it. I open Spotify and I clicked it and it just brought me to podcasts and then I clicked Joe's. And then it took me to like Joe introducing his podcast.

[00:29:53]

And I just gave up. I was like, fuck you. I was like and then I said to LeAnn, I was like, Can I see Eyeless phone? And then because Islas got Spotify premium, like I pulled up, I was like, Can you get me on the family? It was so fucking angry. Yeah. I got to just sit and focus and get it because he did podcast with he's doing great podcast. Yes he is.

[00:30:10]

And I'm sitting there going like it's just I'm, I'm a creature of habit.

[00:30:14]

So I get I'll tell you what podcast obsessed with right now but with what revolutions by Mike Duncan. Have you heard this?

[00:30:24]

Now, the apology one, though, the apology podcast. That is the fucking shit. What's the apology.

[00:30:30]

Hold on. It's OK.

[00:30:33]

Hold on right down. Mike Duncan. Revolutions, because this has a lot to do with you. OK, now start me. On the apology, can you pull up an image of the apology line podcast? Oh, please say it's Americans apology. There it is. One that one that won the apology line. So this profiles in the 1980s and started in 1980 in New York.

[00:30:59]

They put up flyers in the city where you could call and leave an apology to anybody and they would say, don't give out any personal information. We're going to play it publicly. And then they would play people apologizing for anything like I stole this thing.

[00:31:15]

I was I and I left that person hanging. I didn't call back a murder. I murdered this guy. No. Yes. And it just how it kind of unravels. It's really, really captivating. Fantastic. I want to switch, though, because I got distracted.

[00:31:33]

I got one. No, no, no, no, no. Hang on. Stop. What? What? You don't get to do this one. Oh, God damn it. OK, I want to go. OK, so. Just keep our notes on the side, then write our notes. Yeah, and then I got to tell you something else first.

[00:31:51]

OK, OK, the apology line download. It's fantastic.

[00:31:55]

Let me hang on. Let me just get it and I'm going to forget, OK? Apology line, apology downloaded.

[00:32:00]

This is the thing that I didn't want to forget to tell you. The two things that I've seen recently that are subscribed tremendous. I mean really, really good. OK, one is on Hulu called in and of itself. Have you seen that? You have to watch this. So funny.

[00:32:16]

When you said write down in and of itself, I was like, yeah, I don't know what that means either in and of itself. I don't know what like in and of itself means. I don't know what it like. Meaning when you say in and of itself, I don't know what you're saying. Well it's a no, no, no, no. I meant when someone goes in and of itself in a sentence. Yeah. I don't know what that means.

[00:32:35]

What does that mean in and of itself. What does that mean in and of itself.

[00:32:39]

That we are discussing this one using a sentence, using a sentence, Pizza Hut in and of itself, Pizza Hut in and of itself, is better than Domino's Pizza.

[00:32:50]

And what does that mean?

[00:32:52]

That in its purest form, what you're saying is either you go or pick one of. On its own, by its very nature, why wouldn't you say, on its own? I mean, we have a whole vocabulary. We're going to pick your nose and shovel booger higher up your nose, have you're like, Yeah. Oh, great. Oh yeah, that one. I just pushed it up. I just went up there and I'm like, now is when I wish I had an elephant finger, like a baby finger there.

[00:33:18]

Yeah.

[00:33:18]

Yeah. Imagine if Warren picked your nose with those of you yours.

[00:33:22]

A dentist just gagged. You know how you're talking about how he touched his heart.

[00:33:26]

Yeah, he only touched my affected arm and leg only during the game.

[00:33:32]

Watch. Watch that. Watch the the live. We did the two bears one side.

[00:33:37]

But he was like I was like and then when we were we were at that barbecue, he was like, wow.

[00:33:43]

And he would lay on my left knee and I was like, oh, I tell him it hurts. I love that he was mocking me for being in a tornado. Oh yeah. Like you were in the tornado. I was like, yeah, no. All right.

[00:33:57]

In and of itself. Let me tell you about this real quick. Pull up the image on the screen of it. So this guy, Derek, um, you have the image.

[00:34:07]

There we go. This guy has no nose.

[00:34:10]

Delgaudio, I here's the thing. I don't even want to I don't want to sell you on it, too.

[00:34:17]

I don't want to because it's so spectacular. Podcast. No, this is a one man show.

[00:34:21]

It's on Hulu. I was on Hulu. I was like, I'm not going to fuck him. No, no, no. Hollywood, it's a it's on it's on Hulu.

[00:34:26]

It's a one man show that is it's all about I mean, I would say the premise is identity and how basically we are complicated layer beings. I'll say this. It's a work of art. The show. Yeah. Yeah. It's like it's a masterpiece.

[00:34:44]

I would call it a masterpiece. Frank Oz I think directed it.

[00:34:47]

And you don't want to tell me too much. I don't want to tell you to tell me something about if you tell me something about Derek Delgado.

[00:34:53]

Do I know then know what this is. Here's the thing.

[00:34:57]

I don't even want to like I don't feel like. Telling you it's it's such a special show that giving things away does a disservice to the show, you know, like it does a disservice to the show.

[00:35:12]

OK, I'll tell you more about the other thing I've been watching, because I feel like that makes more sense in this type of show. It's best to just go watch it.

[00:35:20]

OK, hold on. I'm going to text it till the end. OK, and what should I watch it with LeAnn?

[00:35:26]

In and of itself on Hulu. What's that mean and then, yeah, on Hulu, and you can also say you did, you know that in and of itself also means by its very nature, we so I'll tell you what we I'll tell you what we.

[00:35:45]

Watched, so you're not going to like it because it's like teen girl stuff, we just watch the wilds. Mm hmm.

[00:35:51]

And it's like, is that horrible having to watch teen girl stuff? Oh, you know what you do? You end up finding a way to connect with your daughters and getting into shit like that. And we're like, oh, cool. We just can't say certain shit like, oh fuck that one. And then they'll be like, Dad, she's 17.

[00:36:05]

You're like, oh, never mind. I mean, I know my kids are obviously super young and like what I do is I, I just walk by when he's watching a show, my five year old and I go, oh, this is my favorite show. And he goes, it's my favorite show.

[00:36:19]

And he gets pissed that that's really fun to do. All right. Here's the other thing that I've seen that is fucking unbelievable.

[00:36:27]

I'm not done talking about the revolutions because I have a lot I want to share with you. Keep going. Yeah. Yeah, OK. And Adam Rich, we don't want to keep going. Yeah. You got to watch zero zero zero, OK, on Amazon Prime.

[00:36:39]

Oh, please tell me it's time travel. It's not. But this is an epic fucking show, man.

[00:36:45]

What is it. OK, zero zero zero is based on an Italian series called Settle. Settle, Settle. I think so. And it's filmed. I mean, this this has to have a 100 million dollar budget.

[00:36:56]

You think there's a guy at the same time in Spain going, oh, I guess I'm not going to sell my my new screenplay? Zero zero zero.

[00:37:03]

No, this is filmed in Calabria, Italy, Monterrey, Mexico, New Orleans, Senegal and Morocco.

[00:37:10]

It's like a fucking mission impossible. I'm going to hit pause right there. Do I have to read it two times? Yes. Subtitles, not the whole series. OK, OK. It's a series. It's a series. OK, it's a series that follows.

[00:37:24]

It follows man.

[00:37:25]

It's it's it's drug trade. It's international drug trade. Hey, I'm writing, but it's not familiar.

[00:37:31]

You don't feel like watching one of these shows.

[00:37:33]

Again, it's such a unique take the writing they use drug trade to drive story, not to be story. So the story really is in the characters and you get to know each of the groups really well. The Italian group, the Americans and the Mexicans and each of them has unique characters and story that's phenomenal. The writing, the acting is and the actually like the set pieces, the action in this thing is like it's fucking Bourne Identity.

[00:38:02]

Let's pull up the actors in zero zero zero. Let's see what they look like. Yeah, there's four gorgeous young men I'm in. OK, let's judge them based on the actors. Andrea Riseborough, Hot Deyn. Dani, I've seen that guy before, right? Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:20]

Giuseppi the man I love. Giuseppe Harold Torez. He looks like a young Benicio Del Toro. Oh, Gabriel Byrne. Yes, because love Gabriel Byrne. He's in it. Fucking love Gabriel Byrne. Adriano.

[00:38:31]

I liked his earlier work. Diego Conten. I liked him on Entourage. Yeah. Friend says ok it's ok. OK I'm going like this because you know what this is, you know what I love about something like this. But and this is how American I am. I don't know any of these people yet. I bet they're also still actors in their countries.

[00:38:49]

Good job you put that together real well. I bet they're good actors in their countries. And I'll come out of going, who's this guy who's not speaking English but murdering it so good.

[00:38:59]

It's so. It's incredible, it really is impressive, Ben. Can I read the Wikipedia log line? Sure. OK. Zero zero zero Wikipedia.

[00:39:09]

Wikipedia. We've already Wikipedia it out. Roxanne Roberts.

[00:39:11]

I go to the left. Click that. Yeah. OK, OK. Make that bigger. Let's see. Yeah, ok. Uh, it's based on the book of the same name as a book I could read the study of the business around the drug cocaine covering its movement across continents.

[00:39:30]

So basically, like the way that this thing starts, I'll tell you this part.

[00:39:33]

You're not giving I'm not ruining it for you.

[00:39:35]

Good Italian mafia Calabria is buying massive amounts of cocaine from the cartel in Mexico. And so how do you get a massive amount of cocaine from Mexico to Italy?

[00:39:49]

Submarine, a ship ship. And so the broker is the America. The Americans are the ship brokers. So that's the connective tissue between the Mexicans and the Italians. And basically some chaos ensues in this massive shipment of cocaine from.

[00:40:08]

Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait. I love hearing good shit. This thing is it's an impressive, impressive show. Men infighting. Oh, my God.

[00:40:16]

I mean, the drama. It's phenomenal. It's phenomenal.

[00:40:21]

Oh, this is going to be OK. I'm excited.

[00:40:23]

Oh, yeah. There's huge there's also huge sequences in Arabic. Yeah, there's some French in there. It's it's really, really, I mean, yeah, there's, there's a huge there's a whole bunch of shit in Italian, Calabrian, Spanish, English.

[00:40:39]

It's all over. It feels like you're, it feels like you're in like a born kind of, you know, world like Jason Bourne. Shit.

[00:40:45]

You know, dude I'm in, I'm in zero zero zero and you got to and I will if you have daughters, if you have teen daughters.

[00:40:52]

I've been trying to find the budget of this because I when you watch it, you're like the budget has to be it has to be a hundred million dollar show.

[00:41:00]

Dude, every episode you're like, what the fuck? How much did this cost to shoot? Which I don't know.

[00:41:06]

I so appreciate as a consumer, you know. Oh I always say. I've always said I've always said you put one hundred thousand dollars into a movie. Yeah. You're getting my money immediately. 100000 or million. Million. You put a hundred million in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate exactly. I'm the fucking idiot in the movie theater going.

[00:41:24]

Well I mean I get it, I get it to when you when you watch certain movies you go, I get what was written on paper in the concept and they don't have a budget and they try to make it work. And sometimes you're like they did what they could and they still make it. And sometimes it's just looks like shit is shitty and cheap and whatever. Yeah. And this I mean, I think Jeff Bezos sold a brick to make this one.

[00:41:44]

This is like it's it's really, really good. You can't find the budget. I just tried Googling zero zero zero.

[00:41:51]

Yeah. Yeah. Amazon budget. And sometimes they release budgets and they tell you that, you know, yeah. You can look up certain shows.

[00:41:57]

And I'll tell you what, though, if you go to oh, I get by because of the series, the budget gets complicated.

[00:42:02]

Well, I mean, it could be released. They could if they wanted to.

[00:42:05]

But I think that they're not saying it. I mean, it might be because they're like, we're spending two hundred million. I cannot wait.

[00:42:13]

Yeah. I cannot wait to see this show. I cannot I mean, finding good shit I love. You know what I love? I love when I love when I go, hey, wait, I never knew about it.

[00:42:24]

Like it's so cool to not know about something, then find it and be like and then go like I got a whole bunch of new shit. Yeah.

[00:42:33]

Yeah. What are you laughing about in there. You fucking.

[00:42:38]

So wait what's the what's Mike Duncan.

[00:42:41]

Oh ok. OK, this is so, so you know I was obsessed with like Winston Churchill for a period of time and then I was obsessed with history, history, history.

[00:42:49]

So like I got totally into World War. Is that what it looks like? Interesting.

[00:42:55]

I got really obsessed with World War One. World War Two. Did the idea that I didn't really know how Europe was structured before World War One was was like mind blowing to me that I did, that I didn't I didn't know that there weren't all these countries, that it was just like the just a big chunk here, a big chunk here, a big chunk there.

[00:43:18]

And like certain things where I was like, fuck, man, why didn't I not? Why didn't I know about it? Like, why didn't I care?

[00:43:23]

Like, I didn't even it never even got on my radar that I gave a fuck about Europe. Right.

[00:43:29]

And then I started listening to this and I was like, well, shit, that's how they got that is why the cause of Germany going back to war in World War Two was that they had all these places that have been taken from them, but German still lived there. There were people, German people that was taken away from them. And that's why they went back going for these once. Once they started, they're like, well, fucking let's take over everything, make everything Germany.

[00:43:52]

And then when Russia at the end of World War Two, Russia was like, fuck, you know, this is ours. And now this is all communist. And like, all that shit just blew me away.

[00:44:01]

And then I'm sitting there and I go. And I don't know a lot about Europe, but I go I literally said sway, how the fuck did they make South America? I was like. OK, I have an idea that, like some Spaniards rolled in and got and gave everyone the flu and then and then and then the Incas poured gold down their throats, like that's what I know about South America. So I was like, all right.

[00:44:29]

I bet there was like some cool. And then and I just did this podcast with Danielle, then Danielle Ballylee, who is on Rogan. I had him on my podcast to talk about history. And he was like, yeah, you got to check out my Dunkin's revolutions and say whatever it is, it's just about revolutions.

[00:44:44]

And I was like, so what we're going through in our country with what happened at the Capitol and stuff, I was kind of I'd never seen something like that happen in our country with all the uprisings that's been going on, all these ideas of different revolutions. I was like, wait. And I got really blown away at the idea that Stalin and Lenin were basically, honestly the same guys that stormed the Capitol, that they really were anyone who starts a revolution, it starts off as like, fuck this.

[00:45:09]

And then I couldn't help but notice that I was because I didn't stand with those guys. It went crazy that I was ultimately all these monarchies that was like, fuck you. It should be like it was like I wasn't a part of the revolution. Yeah, but all we know about these revolutions that win.

[00:45:28]

So I was like, and then they're like, you got to hear about all the revolutions in South America. And I was like, there were revolutions. And then like and then the song was like, yeah, it was all Spanish owned. Yeah.

[00:45:40]

Spain, Spain had all of it. And dude, I know that I'm fucking this up and I tell it, but the forward thinking that happened during those revolutions was so against everything that was going on in America.

[00:45:56]

It's the cause of our civil war, the predominantly the abolishment of slavery, like it was this guy, Simon Bolivar, was a bad motherfucker, a bad type in Simón Bolívar.

[00:46:11]

He goes through and basically Tom wins every fucking war the motherfucker touches.

[00:46:20]

And you heard about this on revolutions, all revolutions. Dude, this guy, Mike Duncan, knows how to do a fucking podcast. What he does is he does 30 minute chunks and just breaks everything down. And then he gives you these little teases like, don't let me get started on Gregor McGregor. He's a different story. He's a different podcast of the nine Turbin. Gregor McGregor. Gregor McGregor was this Scotsman who basically sold everyone on the fact that he had discovered an island and he wanted them to invest in the island.

[00:46:50]

There's no fucking island in the fucking. And then this motherfucker, by the way, now I'm sitting there going, how do I I've never heard of this guy. Right? And then and then this guy goes out. He's basically like a Ponzi scheme fucking captain. He's bigger than Bernie Madoff ever was. He gets kicked out of everywhere because everyone is like, fuck this guy. He does it over and over again. Then he goes back. Simon Boulevard dies.

[00:47:12]

He goes back and everyone's like, Oh, shit, it's Gregor McGregor. He's in a brand new territory. No social media, but everyone forgot he got canceled. And he's like, you're a bad ass motherfucker. We give you money, gives him money. He lives around. It was like being a fucking millionaire. It was. It is. I get so fucking fascinated by this shit where I'm literally listening to them, you know, I tell you what, this is why I wanted to talk to you about it.

[00:47:34]

Oh, Peru, right? Yeah. Do you know why?

[00:47:40]

Peru's such a bad ass fucking place. Why? Because in order to conquer Peru, you got to get up to their level. Yeah.

[00:47:50]

You mean in the Andes? In the Andes. So if you're the Peruvian army in Europe, what's what type in the altitude of Lima, Lima, Peru, not that high, but that's like sea level. Yeah. Would type in the sea like the coast goes up in the musco. So so, so do the altitude of Cuzco.

[00:48:07]

See us. See you Ziko. Is that these guys would go up to see us. Sorry, eleven thousand one hundred eleven thousand.

[00:48:15]

So that's what they do is these. So that's what does it. That's two miles. Oh yeah.

[00:48:20]

That's undoable. Yeah it's undoable. So what would happen was these people La Paz is 11 twelve.

[00:48:28]

Almost twelve thousand. Yeah. But then we're a bit like switching countries.

[00:48:32]

I don't even know where. Bolivia of Bolivia. That was the way I think that was all Peru back then.

[00:48:37]

OK, or it's called LA Granada La River something.

[00:48:42]

Anyway, what would happen is they'd be like, come on, let's go get them like these fucking armies. We're like, let's go get them. And they'd be like, Sure, sure, come on up here. And then they'd all fucking die from altitude sickness.

[00:48:54]

This episode of Two Bears, One Cave is brought to you by Vieri. These guys, I swear to you, they have this down.

[00:49:01]

You know, there's, there's workout gear and then there's like comfortable casual gear and you're, you know, you always wish that like I could work out in this, but I wish it was more these guys actually did it.

[00:49:11]

This stuff. I mean, they sent they sent me a grip of stuff, T-shirts, hoodies.

[00:49:16]

Oh, they're so fucking comfortable. And that's the thing is you can do like it's loungewear or you can go do yoga, lift weights, throw it on in the morning. Yeah.

[00:49:24]

Go drop off your kids at school, do everything, hang out, go to the coffee shop, get on the treadmill, same clothes, super versatile, comfortable, designed to look great in everyday situations.

[00:49:35]

You can work out in it. Like I said, you can do anything else you want in it. They have all types. I mean, for women men's, they have the the core short. The men's poncho.

[00:49:44]

Yes. Women's daily joggers. They have it all. Vieri is an investment in your happiness for our listeners. They are offering 20 percent off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet. Have your clothing, dotcom, bears'.

[00:49:59]

That's v you o r i clothing dotcom bears.

[00:50:04]

Not only will you receive twenty percent off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over seventy five dollars and free returns. Go to your clothing dotcom slash bears and discover the versatility of your clothing.

[00:50:18]

Everyone knows I'm trying to run 2000 miles. Everyone else knows I'm trying to get in shape. Everyone also knows I like to drink. You also know I like to drink wine on the treadmill. I'm certain that Fit finds like that's not what we had in mind when we made our brilliant wine. This red zinfandel is good. They're shiraz even better. One of my favorite things to do because everyone is trying to stay healthy is introduce my friends to fit fine.

[00:50:39]

I love fit fine because it's got less sugar, less tannins, no flavor additives, lower carbs, full flavor and better yet, everyone, full alcohol. You are drinking real wine. It's not some bullshit knock off wine that they're trying to sell to some people that are damn good. It's fucking awesome. I'm telling you, the cerar is so enjoyable. Every wine has less than zero point zero nine grams of sugar per glass and less than one gram per bottle with some barbel bottles having as is point zero one grams of sugar per glass, gluten free, vegan friendly, paleo friendly, KAITO friendly, non GMO find them by going to fit fine wine dotcom.

[00:51:19]

They're also sold at over twenty thousand locations nationwide in stores like Public Hold, Publix, Whole Foods, Wal-Mart, Total Wines and your favorite local wine or liquor store. But you know, though, that when Pizarro and the Spaniards went to by the way. No, I don't. And tell me everything. Francisco Pizarro don't know him. The Spanish don't say.

[00:51:40]

That's a pretty good Spanish conquistador. He arrived with like eighty men and they went and defeated like 60000 Incans. Now, he was a sadistic, I mean, completely psychopathic, violent, evil son of a bitch. Really. Oh, man. They would like he and his, you know, other spicks.

[00:52:03]

They would they would go up and just chop arms off of, like, Incans for fun and like just like just for like just to have a good time. Just torture, dismember.

[00:52:16]

They got they told what was his name. Is it Atahualpa the.

[00:52:23]

So how do you how do you know about this. Because you're most Peruvian. Yeah. I mean you just hear about it a lot you know. I've never heard about it ever. Well I mean yeah that's probably why I heard about it more.

[00:52:30]

But I remember there's a story, I'll tell you this historically that that he and his men, you know, they went and they were like initially like. Welcomed by the Incans, and there's like 80 of them and there's tens of thousands of Incans, and so Pizarro was like, you know, they they find out they have gold and everything, right?

[00:52:52]

So much. Yeah.

[00:52:53]

So he and his men, like, we want a room full like this high in this high in order to give you back your king. I think they took Atahualpa. I think that was his name.

[00:53:03]

And they provided they did it, they gave them like a room full like floor to ceiling gold. And then they, they tortured them.

[00:53:13]

They put them into like a vat of like oil and just drown them in king. Yeah, yeah. They were like, super, super.

[00:53:21]

Oh, there's some there's some books I can't read. There's some things I can't read because it's so sad. Oh yeah.

[00:53:27]

When you get and then they got sick of course they brought disease which wiped out and they also had um swords and like bayonets and shit.

[00:53:36]

And these guys were like, you know, they didn't have anything like that.

[00:53:39]

You want to know what one bad ass fucking prove? I say Peruvian, I think because he's Peruvian. So. So.

[00:53:50]

Simon Bolivar, yeah, is asked by Colum, he, by the way, he ruled almost all of South America. Yeah, quite sure. He is asked by Columbia to take a step down, just be like the dictator of Peru for a while and let this other guy think his name is Sarah to the B, a soldier to be like this guy. This guy was so committed to Bolívar. And they go, listen, you got to go up and kick ass or the Spaniards are up there and things like, OK, and he was running.

[00:54:16]

He was running. He didn't have as many soldiers. And then they were like, fuck it. He was like, let's go punch him in the dick. And the guy's like, you want to punch him in the dick? And one of his soldiers fucking watch it goes up, fucking shoots his horse in the head and goes, I'm not going anywhere. And they're all like, let's kill our fucking horses.

[00:54:32]

And then they just want to be an army.

[00:54:35]

Do you know that fucking mentality when you go, Oh, these guys, I realize I haven't even certain they had guns.

[00:54:39]

Look up, look up like Pizarro's thing, go to his Wikipedia because it might have, um.

[00:54:45]

It might have the the detail I'm looking for here.

[00:54:49]

Yeah. Hit that. And Pesaro. Yeah.

[00:54:51]

It's amazing that that guy did so much. Yeah. Scroll down. And I never even heard of him. Scroll down to uh.

[00:54:59]

Yeah, is there the part about, yeah, the three point four there, 15, 30 to. Yeah, and who who is the guy, because I want to make sure I complete yeah, right. So in the defeat of his brother, Atahualpa had been resting. And it might it might give you the detail here, OK, had a force of just 110 soldiers, 67 cavalry, right.

[00:55:24]

He sent, um, to vulpine his camp, agreed to meet Pesaro the next day after the sea is complacency because fewer than 200 remain as opposed to his 50000 man army keeps growing.

[00:55:37]

For me, the 50000 men what I'm telling you, man, it's insane.

[00:55:42]

OK, see, despite fulfilling his promise of filling a room 22 by 17 feet with gold and silver, he was convicted of 12 charges that they just drew up, you know.

[00:55:55]

Um, yeah. And, uh, man. They just they savagely they savagely decimated the phantom backstabbing that happened back is that I thought that the amount of. Oh, my God, there, that's an actual execution. I don't see that was good, the amount of torture Joe recommended a book one time or maybe someone else did. I can actually tell you what the book is because I fucking have it on my keeps growing. Your books. Yeah, this is the most oh, my body man.

[00:56:29]

I went to the torture museum in Lima once.

[00:56:32]

For real. Oh my God. Yeah. Um. Trying to see if they have any more details about that, but I don't see any more. The book is. Oh, this was the most disturbing book is called The Conquerors How Portugal Forged the First. Global economy or empire? So this book is so horrible, it's so horrible that about the level of it's like so I listen to audio books to fall asleep.

[00:57:13]

You do, because it reminds me of being in school and I fall asleep or understand anybody can do that.

[00:57:18]

By the way, I love it. You know, Christine is the same way. She's like put on something like watch something and goes to sleep. You had a TV on and I'm trying to sleep. I like turn the fucking TV off, man. I can't sleep.

[00:57:28]

Yeah. You're like, listen, I'd like to be distracted. Like, if you have silence, one of my the hardest I've ever slept is what we were doing, construction in the house. And you'd hear ranchero music and the Mexican dudes doing the construction, talking back and forth to each other for whatever reason, because I'm hearing it. But I'm not listening like, you know what they're saying. Right. So I'm not getting interested in the conversation.

[00:57:50]

I just hear that adds up to me because I also people listen to music. I'm like I just start listening to the song. I wouldn't be able to fall asleep.

[00:57:57]

Oh, I can't listen to like like I try to listen to outside outside the magazine as a podcast. And they told the story of this dude. I don't you guys to find out. I'm never going to tell you this guy. I'm like, oh this is good. I just found out I have a podcast. It's about this guy, this big wave surfer. He wrote the most seminal book about big wave surfing, and he tells the story of being of surfing and Portugal and him and his body getting caught outside the waves that are way too big to ride.

[00:58:25]

Their boards are too small. And he tells the story of him and his body, how they barely survived. And I was like, I'm I'm like fucking lying in bed going, my hands are sweating. I'm like freaking out. I'm like, OK, this is not what you fall asleep to. Like the conquerers I used to put on the tour bus, I put on the tour bus one night. Right.

[00:58:41]

We we eat the CBD edible, the high CBD edible. Yeah, but a little bit of THC. Yeah. And I'm sitting there and they're like. This Portuguese conqueror goes down the coast of Africa, says to the king, I want your I want your daughter. And I want you to bring out yourself, I'm going to come in and kill all your people and he's like, OK, OK, I got it, I got it. Comes out with his daughter and he's like, cool.

[00:59:07]

They all fuck his daughter. And then they tie him up because he's Muslim. They shove pig, pig, raw pig down his throat, shoving him with a fucking stick and then shitting his mouth and shoving him with a stick. And they're like, all right, go home. And the guy went home and then they came back. And they're like, your other daughter is like, I'll be out there in a minute, dude. I'm like, fuck this.

[00:59:26]

I cannot live.

[00:59:28]

Like, when you hear about the horror, that's why I couldn't listen to fucking this is on your audio book.

[00:59:32]

I was like, yeah, I'm like fucking in my bunk going, you know, they shit in his mouth, shut the guy's fucking mouth and shoved it down with a stick with poor.

[00:59:40]

And who's the guy fucking some fucking Portuguese dude. I don't even know. I couldn't listen. I was like, I can't listen. This fucking book, it's horrific. It's like the reason. Here's my question.

[00:59:53]

He's had coronavirus, everybody, here's my question, yeah. I sometimes wonder, and this is a I remember this is a brand new thought, I sometimes wonder some of these history books when you read them.

[01:00:08]

Yeah, they come off a little racist. Yeah.

[01:00:12]

Like like you like you're like it's almost like back then people weren't like all about equality. Yeah. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Even when you read them. Yeah. You read them and you're like wow. Sounds like the Indians had it coming, you know.

[01:00:26]

And then you're like and then you're like wait. This was written by an 80 year old white man in nineteen eighty.

[01:00:31]

Maybe he was like like so you start like Joe recommended a book about Native Americans where I kept feeling like, hey man, I'm losing my compassion from Native Americans in this book. It makes them sound really bad. I'm like, I know that's not the real story, but as I'm reading this, I'm like, wait, they just cut the girl's nose off.

[01:00:49]

You're like, look, what the fuck?

[01:00:51]

Yeah. And so I wonder I wonder if because it was written by who it's written if it's skewed as like as like. Yeah, yeah. Like you know it's like not the most not. Trying to think of the right analogy. It's like it's like hip hop. OK, OK, there wasn't a ton of progressive hip hop when we were kids. OK, it was all like, fuck this bitch, suck my dick bitches and hos, but shit, you know, my friends can't have none.

[01:01:25]

I don't want none. Yeah. Like Oh shit. Yeah, yeah. I'm a kill that motherfucker. I'll kill your whole crew. Yeah. And then you go, well of course that was it was written by young affected inner city kids. Yeah. Whoo hoo. That was the life they were living.

[01:01:38]

And then as they get older they're like I wouldn't write that now. Right. Right. Yes. Well then you're looking at take the opposite of that history books written by old white men. And they're like old white men tend to have similar viewpoints. And they're like, yeah, the Indians were pretty bad guys like Gustad had like, you know. And so you start going like, well, then how can you trust history books?

[01:01:59]

Yeah, like, I just found out the first morning. Yeah. That the Titans Tennesse that the Titans are like one of the oldest teams in the NFL, the the team, the Titans, the name the Titans. Right. It's one of the first like four fucking teams back when they were before the NFL.

[01:02:17]

Like all these names. Yeah, I don't understand.

[01:02:21]

So the Titans were at one point type in and type in football titans because they were once the Oilers, though, right? That's what we're talking about.

[01:02:29]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, so, like so like but that's what that's what that's trying to tell you. Founded in 59, that's really the first team. Their first team was the fifth is in 59. But they weren't the Tennessee Titans, the Tennessee Titans.

[01:02:44]

They were something or they whatever Houston's team was, they might have been the Houston Titans. You would click click that.

[01:02:50]

Yeah. Yeah. So previously known as the Houston Oilers. But but no, no.

[01:02:56]

So that's not what I mean. That's not there was an actual team called the Titans back in the 30s. I got you. So a lot of the names we know is teams, right?

[01:03:04]

We're like we're like it was actually a fucking amazing video I watched about the history of the teams in the that played professional football. And it was talking about the teams year by year that went away.

[01:03:15]

Yeah, they showed up like the Buccaneers who just won the Super Bowl.

[01:03:19]

They were originally the Los Angeles Buccaneers type in the Los Angeles Buccaneers.

[01:03:24]

And this was the I was like blown away. I didn't know. And this is where I was like, shut up. I didn't know that the Browns went away for two years.

[01:03:33]

Really, like fucking three years ago, that much more than that five years ago, 10 years ago. Look at this. So the Los Angeles Buccaneers weren't even based out of Los Angeles. They were based on like Cincinnati. But they were there were like that's where they were. And they were a team that went around and then that was the team.

[01:03:50]

So like all these old teams to the Los Angeles Buccaneers become Tampa Bay or did they know that?

[01:03:57]

So they just it's like those were acceptable names that they could take because they were like, did that evolve into something? No, I think they just like the bears.

[01:04:06]

You know why they called the the Chicago Bears. The Bears now? Because of the Cubs. Oh, yeah. And there was what you like, branded. Yeah. Because they were like, we want to we want the fans of the Cubs to become fans of the Bears. Oh gosh, yes. But Bears were were football players who were bears. It should be tougher because they like weren't the cardinals before that.

[01:04:25]

So first of all, the Arizona Cardinals are the oldest football team in the in professional, weren't they?

[01:04:32]

The Chicago Cardinals type in the Arizona Cardinals.

[01:04:36]

This is the oldest team in all of football is the Cardinals. OK, Jesus, 1880, not 98 and hit that wiki.

[01:04:45]

Let's see. Where did it where was it found in? Established in Chicago. Chicago Cardinals told you. Do you know the Browns were named after a guy who took shits, big shits?

[01:04:58]

That was the Browns. The Browns? Yeah. I was like sitting here going, like, shut the.

[01:05:03]

Well, I remember I remember having my mind blown when I was like, I don't know, 16 when I was told that the Lakers were from Minneapolis. I was like, yeah, well.

[01:05:15]

And then you're laying there like, oh yeah. That makes you up late. And you're like, yeah.

[01:05:18]

And then they just move and you're like, oh, this doesn't make they've been trying to sell the name the senators forever. Did you know one point during the war there were so few men that they combined the Steelers and the Eagles to make the Steagles? No. Do you think that's a truth to realize? It sounds like a bird ism type in Steagles. I can't remember if I heard this or I dreamt it.

[01:05:40]

The Steagles. The Stiegel, you're right, Steagles, I was right. I knew I was right. Holy shit, the Steagles, that's allocute.

[01:05:50]

I'm like fucking sitting there going, like, dude, I watched.

[01:05:54]

I watched a video what the best was. Washington bullets used to be a squad and they're like, it's too violent of a name and there's people are dying. So they became the Wizards, you know, I know that.

[01:06:09]

But the bullets that they were called the Washington Bullets because there's so many shootings in D.C., they wanted to call them the tornadoes.

[01:06:19]

And one guy was like, um, I think we're in Tornado Alley and that's why we call the tornadoes. But when it kills 90 people, I don't think they're going to be fans or want to wear our jerseys when they've lost their family to our tornado.

[01:06:31]

And they're like Fofo, someone told the hurricanes that, yeah, dude, I am so fucking fascinated by that.

[01:06:38]

Like, when you go, that's what it is about.

[01:06:41]

History is all a sudden you go, well, there's a lot of I thought I knew a lot of shit.

[01:06:45]

What was the Cain, uh, mantra that they kept saying Sape and Dave like hit big, big dicks, but not so much like dicks, but not big dicks, but not big.

[01:06:58]

Not big.

[01:06:58]

They're not big type in hurricanes. Rahim, they're saying his name wrong.

[01:07:06]

Yeah, I think he was saying is Rowan and Rowan. Yeah.

[01:07:11]

A lot of people call me Bruce. I think we're good. What is it? Big hits, bust dicks, something like that. Just no good. Even just. We can call Dave real quick. Oh, yeah, he would definitely tell you. Uh, plastic's just right. Plastic's yeah. Bust dicks.

[01:07:28]

It's definitely he said it's on shirts and everything.

[01:07:31]

There aren't many matches for your search. Oh, in hurricanes. But the Miami Hurricanes. Yeah. Boss dicks. Pitstick Bostik, there you go. The dick talk shit on YouTube, I want to see that. Yeah. Hit Dick Bostik. We need a fucking saying like that.

[01:07:48]

They say Oh yeah, they're going to say it right here man. I bet that's not what he said, top chef, top chef. Well, you look at the man beside you, is he hard, are you hard gratitudes dick, then your hard talk shit we eat to eat shit, but no, not eat at night.

[01:08:16]

No, go back to it. Hit it. Hit stick bus shit bust dick.

[01:08:25]

Is there any way we can get over of what our fans think should be put in there. We do three things. Do things and then you just do voice over is it politics? We're going to eat shit. We're going to suck dick. We will bust nuts. Let's go on three. We're going to bust this.

[01:08:44]

Yeah. Oh, fuck. Hold on. Hold on. Go back to our list. Go back to our list.

[01:08:49]

You should bust dicks. Wait, what was the Adam Richman thing. What is that I'm obsessed with this new show is The Foods of America.

[01:08:55]

OK, do you know why? Do you know why Pizza Hut crust is the way it is? First of all, do you like pizza? Yeah.

[01:09:03]

OK, no, sorry. What I like is Domino's thin crust. That's the shit. Are you talking about Brooklyn Pie. Thin crust.

[01:09:09]

I'm talking about when you're a kid and you go, I'll have a Domino's thin crust, whatever that is the thing.

[01:09:15]

It's like cardboard. It's not necessarily objectively good and it's not.

[01:09:19]

And it's and it's not technically a pizza crust, as we know. Pizza crust. Right. It's a little crispier.

[01:09:24]

Yeah, exactly. I like that. So that so I like that a lot this way.

[01:09:29]

I learned from his new show then and crunchy it is. That is a different type of bread than a than a regular pizza bread. Oh. And it was made for the Midwest. What was the. That was what. In crusty stuff. They made pizza.

[01:09:44]

So pizza was unknown until like fucking 1950. Luckily no one had ever had pizza in the states like you know, if they had some in New York. But it was like but I'm saying it was obviously a staple of probably Italy, right.

[01:09:55]

When Tiepin when Taco Bell was formed, I mean, Taco Bell go Taco Bell was formed, these two brothers, 1962. No one had heard of pizza. No one had ordered pizza here in in the United States. OK, these two dudes are like, yo, we want to be like McDonald's. What can we do then? Like pizza. Right. By the way, you should watch the show. I'm giving it to something. So they go in and they're going to make pizza dough, but they don't make it.

[01:10:19]

So they use French bread dough and they make French bread, lots of sauce, which is not this is adamantium describes this a lot better.

[01:10:27]

I just call him, have him describe it.

[01:10:29]

Yeah, well, one second. Let me take a leak and we'll do it OK.

[01:10:32]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, guys, we're getting started in this new year, there's a lot of things to do. One of them might be ways to try to save money. Luckily, policy genius can help you kill that problem.

[01:10:47]

Compare home and auto insurance rates and save up to 1055 dollars per year by reship, recopying. That's money you can put towards the things you care about, whatever that may be. It's actually so easy and absolutely worth your time to try doing this.

[01:11:01]

He's got a policy genius, Dotcom. You answer a few quick questions about yourself and your property.

[01:11:06]

They do the rest. They compare rates from all the top insurance companies, progressive nationwide. They find the lowest quotes.

[01:11:12]

And the best part, as I say, is that they do that switch over for you. If you're like, oh, yeah, that is better. You let them know and they do the switch for you. That saves you a lot of time, the headache and the stress of doing it. If you're worried that march around the corner and you've barely gotten anything done, take a deep breath. Policy genius will help you make the most of this short month in minutes.

[01:11:31]

Just reshape your home and auto insurance and you could save up to one thousand fifty five dollars.

[01:11:35]

Head to policy genius Dotcom to get started right now. Policy genius when it comes to insurance, it's nice to get it right.

[01:11:41]

If you're wiping your ass with your hands, then you're doing it wrong. The future of toileting has arrived and it's called Toshie. It's been around forever, but it was super freaking expensive, was not super freaking expensive. Now the brand new fallowed Toshie 3.0 Modern Bidet Attachment is here to level the playing field. It's stylish, eco friendly, easy to install and affordable. Hello to 3.0 doesn't just clean your butt with precision stream of fresh water. It cleans itself before and after its use with the smart spray automatic self-cleaning nozzle it attaches to your existing toilet.

[01:12:15]

So no electricity or additional plumbing and it cuts toilet paper use by 80 percent. So hello to bidet pays for itself within a few months because with hello torchy, you don't wipe at all. Just poop sprayed dry and go and sanitation. Simple sanitation is simple. The Schmults Shield offers easy cleaning and the knobs are naturally antimicrobial. Already got a touch pot, already got a touch on your pot upgrade to the new 3.0 model. And if you're near the revolution, join the millions of happy hello Toshie customers right now and have a clean but with every flush go to hell Toshie dotcom slash beyer's get ten percent off your order and free shipping.

[01:12:54]

All right, I texted Adam Richman but those text no one replies to a text. What do you mean face time them.

[01:13:00]

You're going to aggressively face time. All right. I think that's the best way to go about it. I think you have a good relationship with them.

[01:13:06]

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Cool face time, Adam Richman, and he'll explain Pizza Hut to us.

[01:13:14]

OK, he's one of the smartest dudes I fucking know, like legit across the board. There are some guys who know a little bit about a little bit and some guys don't know a lot about a little bit. And those guys know he knows a lot about a lot o OK. And he's he can also do it.

[01:13:28]

I wonder if he's working by the way, this face time so close to my face right now. It's a little scary. He's not answering I'm I'm zero four zero in face times, it's a real aggressive move. Yeah, I mean, I was I mean, the only people I was saying that I like, we'll just FaceTime. No, no warrant. Like some people, you go call to FaceTime or I FaceTime you that same.

[01:13:56]

But we're really like, you know, we're kind of Joe, that's aggressive io's your face time all the time does the answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes somebody doesn't. Yeah. I guess you're basically you're going like, hey man what are you doing right now. I want to see what you're doing right now. Oh I didn't realize is pretty aggressive. It Michelle wrote me, she goes I'm I'm going to the airplane.

[01:14:16]

Yeah. Is it. Oh yeah. She said yeah. So let me explain, let me explain Pizza Hut to you then.

[01:14:22]

OK, this is not this is me regurgitating what I witnessed on on foods. The American History Channel. Yeah. Sunday nights at 9:00. So they made they used French bread because that's all they had and they figured, why would we do something that people in this area aren't used to? So they make French bread, they put lots of sauce on it, lots of cheese, and they make it for Midwestern people. And Midwestern people fucking love it.

[01:14:49]

And this guy makes one store, one for Taco Bell guy one. Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut, one pizza. You said, look up Taco Bell. Oh, did I really? Yeah, that's what we looked up. We looked up Taco Bell. This is why I'm not on food to build America.

[01:15:03]

Wait, so why don't you pull up Pizza Hut for that same search? Because I was like, I don't know why we're looking at Taco Bell.

[01:15:10]

Moqbel. Yeah. This is why you should never hold anything against me in 1958. Close, close. OK, so. They make Pizza Hut and then the guy who makes one store, Tom, and then he our franchise is going out after one store, one story starts franchising it out. These are the things are my takeaways. But isn't it interesting? I just heard about a comparison between Pizza Hut and Domino's in modern in recent times here there'll be Domino's is performing much better.

[01:15:39]

Well, talking Pizza Hut, I'd love to have this conversation with you. Domino's has nineteen thousand locations around the world. Pizza Hut has seventeen thousand locations around the world. OK, Google that and tell me that in just the park. OK, that's called information retention.

[01:15:54]

Wow.

[01:15:54]

You're really I really enjoyed the show because I was obsessed with, like, going yet because, you know, we're on the tour bus one time and Andrew goes, yeah. Seventeen thousand stories when I was right. My cousin Andrew goes, I actually prefer Pizza Hut over any pizza.

[01:16:10]

Eighteen thousand seven hundred. I was off, but. No, no, but you're very close to the point, though I was making is that they have been on from what I understand, Pizza Hut has been a more of a decline, whereas Domino's has been more on a upswing or they've got to be taking it in the ass right now with with with.

[01:16:28]

But Domino's has been pushing really hard.

[01:16:29]

They're online, you know, app stuff.

[01:16:31]

And, yeah, you know, I can't get on to I'm old school. I need to call a guy, tell him what I want. I can't just go on an app and go at this.

[01:16:38]

Don't you kind of feel like a piece of shit having a Domino's app on your phone?

[01:16:43]

Because I remember I wanted one like two years ago and I had to do it that way. And then, like, opening my phone and seeing a Domino's Pizza app, I was like, no, I'm not going to keep this up.

[01:16:53]

The biggest piece of shit app you have on your phone, I mean, it was that I have a Papa John's app.

[01:16:59]

Yeah. Now, I was like, I don't want that fucking app on my phone.

[01:17:02]

I've got I've got all my airlines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My radar comes in really handy, especially when you're doing outdoor venues. Your radar, my radar. It's an app where you can track storms. Oh, because we would have to shut down shows because the lightning creates a great fucking app calm.

[01:17:20]

I use that. I have a bunch of ski slope apps from when we used to ski. No one levelly for marijuana sneakers. Yeah, I got that. I got a few headset apps.

[01:17:34]

What the fuck is clubhouse. Why is everyone talking about this? I think I got invited by a rapper. Yeah, I got invited. But what is it? I think you can listen to people's conversation. Who are you trying to drop in on audio?

[01:17:47]

What does that even mean? What is this? I don't know.

[01:17:50]

Somebody claims to me, you know, who can explain it? Tim Dolan, let's face time. I'm ready. OK, see to see if Tim Dylan answers or face time.

[01:18:01]

He uses it, he invited me. Tim Dillane, new No. Yeah, OK, here we go, see if Tim Dillon answers a face time. See who my real friends are.

[01:18:11]

Yeah. This is such an aggressive. I can't believe people don't answer face time the way I do. Why were the clubs in virtual rooms conversation on diverse topics that were contained? Probably some examples of clubhouse or startup clubs that black wealth matters, leadership reinvented.

[01:18:29]

There's no one answer my fucking face time. Not today. Muslims in France that the legacy I mean, I just don't know, so you're dropping in and just listening to a conversation. Yeah, I want to I wouldn't mind dropping in on Face Time's.

[01:18:43]

So FaceTime is a really aggressive move, huh? Yeah, why would they put it on there if you can't use it, you can. You can't. No one answers a fuckin face time.

[01:18:53]

Well, they're probably like it's a real thing. Like think about how a text usually affects you, right? You're in the middle of something pops up and you're like, all right, I'll hit a bird after this thing. Face time is birds pounding on my door. Hey, like, that's what FaceTime is.

[01:19:09]

The who, the most famous, you think Warren's opinions are face time? Yeah, for sure he will now. He would if I remember right face time snoop on, I think, when we're doing the live show.

[01:19:22]

All right. No one no one wants to fucking FaceTime me anyway.

[01:19:25]

Put that down. Put that down. Oh, yeah. So, anyway, my my question is. Favorite online pizza. You're saying Domino's thin crust. I mean, that's well, that's that's what I had that I liked as a kid better than Papa John's. I like it more.

[01:19:40]

So there was a period where, you know, you're a real pizza guy. I'm not really a pizza guy. You like you have pizza every week.

[01:19:45]

Every Friday pizza night. Yeah, every Friday night. And then I order enough so that every night pizza night, I will I have a hard time saying no to a errant piece of pizza.

[01:19:56]

You know what? I always remember that I wish I had spoken up about what we did. The weight loss contest.

[01:20:01]

Yeah. So the day before. So we had to weigh ins. We weighed in back to back days that you couldn't just do like a cut and weigh and had to be lower. Right. So we just almost died doing it too. Yeah.

[01:20:13]

So so after the first podcast on the first day, we're going to come back the next morning to keep podcasting and Joe goes, what do you guys want?

[01:20:22]

And immediately you go, pizza box. And I just went. OK, what did you want, sweet? For real, yeah, I want I wanted, like, donuts or like, you know, I mean, like something that's so funny. You brought up donuts, so many can. I've said it to the one time I remember saying it to the dog. That when he said he ate ice cream and I was like, who eats ice cream?

[01:20:47]

Oh yeah, that was hilarious. And then all of a sudden I started eating ice cream.

[01:20:50]

And you're like, ice cream is good. It's so good. But it's not something I would treat myself to. Yeah, so but I think it's the way my brain worked.

[01:20:58]

Well, it's also your like you really I mean, it makes sense to me that you really like pizza.

[01:21:04]

I'm going to I'm going to get I'm going to get probably three pizzas from three different places tonight, and I must sample them. Any idea what you're going? Have you been. Oh, didn't he yell at us sap about not knowing that pizza that he liked Craig's was a Craig's. Yeah, Craig, he's like we went to Craig's and then he was like, you guys fucking even live here?

[01:21:23]

Oh, yeah. We are like, yeah, I don't know what it is. I do. There's a lot of pizzas that looked like some good fucking pizza though. Well, the best pizza, they say in L.A. is Larchmont Pizza.

[01:21:33]

I mean, large bonce pretty years from now.

[01:21:36]

Do you not know all the best pizza places? You know what, honestly? Because my girls don't like designer pizza.

[01:21:43]

They don't like I had the best pizza I've ever had in my entire life time, entire life. Entire fucking life.

[01:21:50]

When in Rome we're going back to Rome again. I've been in Rome a lot. I know. Go to go to Rome. Best pizza in the world.

[01:22:03]

I bet there's a lot of people that advertise that way a in to do this, do this. Let's go. Let's go. Rome pizza trip flip. So we had pizza with this guy. Oh, yeah.

[01:22:17]

There you go. Rome. See if you can find the name of the pizza place it was in there. So we had this pizza. This got my fuck. This is the best pizza.

[01:22:26]

This guy said, uh, they go his make he makes the world's best pizza. He won the pizza championships. I'm giving you all the information. I want you to find it. OK, listen to what I'm saying. And then you find it. He makes the best pizza in the world. He's won the world championship at pizza making and he created a new pizza called What's the kind of pasta you have where it's like bacon, egg yolk and cheese?

[01:22:51]

Don't know.

[01:22:52]

But I mean, I've had it. I don't know, carbonara.

[01:22:54]

OK, type in Rome, pizza carbonara championship or something. Triplette, whatever. Come on, guys. So.

[01:23:02]

So. He says we're going to start. So I get hammered the night before because I love pizza so much pizza carbonara. This guy. Had created ice cubes. That he put on the pizza, put the pizza, he put the bacon on raw, he put some Parmesan cheese, a little bit of olive oil, and then he put the an ice cube that he created and he put an egg yolk so that the ice cube didn't let the egg yolk cook so the egg yolk would melt the perfect amount.

[01:23:35]

And when it melted, pull it out and he'd stir up the egg yolk and it was pizza carbonara. And I Tom, I made myself so sick.

[01:23:42]

I mean, I can hear it in your mouth. It was one of the best is the best thing I've ever put my mouth. And and just to be fair, he can make these pizzas. He can make these pieces in like three minutes. He'd make a pizza in three minutes. It was so thin. It was so good. And he came in and he goes, he's like, yeah, what Peter Lica, by the way, was actually pretty soft-spoken guy.

[01:24:03]

A little over a pie. Not with us anymore. Yeah. Who will. Older not.

[01:24:08]

And it was. Does that is that what we're looking at, is that the thing? I believe so you told me. Did you see Burt Krischer attached to this at all? No, but this is the world champion pizza carbonara in Rome.

[01:24:23]

That's what we're looking at. That's right, Tom. These Distin these things were so thin that Dapo items that I'm guessing. Have you tried in Dapo a Burt Krischer and see if you come up with anything as we can make sure that this is the guy. Hmm, no, I'm not the guy anyway, he would make them so quick and he came in and I was hung over and I didn't eat dinner the night before. I knew we were having pizza.

[01:24:50]

Yeah, right. And they're like, you have a lot of pizza to save some space. So I get drunk as fuck and I don't either go to sleep hungry.

[01:24:57]

I come in the next morning and he's behind the counter making himself a pizza with a glass of wine.

[01:25:01]

And I go, Oh my God, if I was ever going to fuck a dude, it's right now this guy is drinking wine at like 8:00 in the morning and he goes is, uh, you know, and I'm like, fuckin Calero. Yeah. So I start drinking wine with him and we're not even shooting yet. And he goes and you a little something, you know, do something. And I said, well yeah, I don't want to spoil it.

[01:25:23]

Don't you know, just ages ago. Yeah. And he makes me just a cheese and they take certainly Foldit for, for me and he goes they're like it's a fucking sandwich. And I go, oh I burn the roof of my mouth and I go, fuck that scared that it's going to be gone. We're eating fucking fast, hot and furious today. Oh, you must have gotten so sick. I that's the place.

[01:25:41]

What's the place. That's the fucking guy. Tom these were the greatest pizzas I've ever had in my life. And Tom, I'm drunk at the end of the night and I tell them, oh, that's one hundred thousand dollars to move you to Los Angeles so that we can do this in person.

[01:25:55]

And he goes, it's the oven. It's up in the oven. So good. No take up and over there. I know. And I went, listen, I'll build you a brand new oven. I go, we set up on Sunset Strip and they pop them out.

[01:26:07]

You're the name of this. What's the name? Tonda, Tonda, Tonda, if you go to Rome, pizza, Tonda, there you go, pizza, Tonda, this fucking guy via Catano.

[01:26:21]

Well. Pizza Thunder, how many ratings did he have on that go back? OK, pizza, a five star rating. Eight hundred and forty five reviews. It is the greatest pizza I've ever had in my life. Hit that on the menu there.

[01:26:38]

And then. Do me a favor. Go to the left here. I want to be on one of those so we can see there's got to be images from. Would be great if he stopped making pizza. What do you make now, if you can type in? There's got to be something on You Tube pizza, Tonda. Type in to YouTube, type in Peter Tonda in YouTube. OK, and then carbonara. And then hit because it's got to be the it's OK to turn the room, just do that, see if something comes up.

[01:27:19]

Is that his the very top one, is that right? I don't think so. I don't think this is not by myself. Tom, this was the greatest pieces I've ever.

[01:27:26]

You're making me actually really want pizza now. I'm definitely fucking up pizza today. So what's your go to in L.A. right now across the board?

[01:27:37]

I right now, we're dominos were hardcore dominoes. We're talking about, like, I know, world class dude, I got to be honest with you, I kind of grew up on that. Do you like the thin crust, though? Do they do a Brooklyn pie with this Brooklyn Pie? Domino's broken pie. That's like that New York style New York style, but it's even thinner and it's kind. Less calories. Are you pepperoni? Brooklyn Pie and I do onion mushroom in Brooklyn.

[01:27:58]

Now, do the kids like this pizza?

[01:28:00]

I eat both of those myself. I don't know what I get. Do they like it? They like Domino's.

[01:28:05]

And so we had a place near us. I won't say the name because it's right near us.

[01:28:09]

What's the bet? But you're like, but you like that one or. No, I love the Domino's Brooklyn pies when I'm the one that's near you. I love it. I love it. But the girls there anything kind of a little bit out of their taste buds and they're like, I know it's good, but I don't really get it. Yeah, like I'd rather just Domino's Hawaiian.

[01:28:26]

And you're like, oh, I can I get a cheeseburger from Domino's Cheeseburger Pizza?

[01:28:32]

And it's actually pretty fucking good because I'm actually really fucking good and Domino's doesn't fuck anything up.

[01:28:37]

What's the homeless thing you were talking about, Steve? Have you seen Steve Burns video on Instagram now, dude, pull up Steve Burns Instagram. He's back from Nashville. I think he's doing a podcast now. And take a look at this video. Stop one person. Just take a look at this video. And this is this is the state of Los Angeles right now. And this is not an exaggeration. This is just a walk through are just a street in Los Angeles.

[01:29:04]

So, look, this is him just walking down the street, OK? He goes, I'd like to walk down the sidewalk, but I can't I have to walk in the street because this is the street is what he's saying. And now that's what he's saying there. And then this is him walking down the street. It is straight up.

[01:29:19]

Oh, like whole tents and like full caps on the sidewalk. Yeah. Yeah. And they and it's like people have set up homes. Yeah. Yeah. Like legit homes. Jesus.

[01:29:29]

And it's like at what point is Los Angeles are the mayor Eric Garcetti and the governor Gavin Newsom going to realize this is on their watch like they need it? They're the only ones that can take care of that. Right. I'll say this right now to both of those motherfuckers. I will donate my time to put on any show to raise money to make this stop. But it's not good for the people doing it like no one wants to be homeless.

[01:29:55]

Yeah, like whatever the fuck.

[01:29:57]

It's like it's like do something about it. It's so bad in Los Angeles. It is bad. It is so bad that you drive through Hollywood.

[01:30:04]

Well, that's the thing is that we used like L.A.. A few years ago, you would basically, you know, that your major city has homeless people in all different parts of the city, but like it was kind of all this was kind of pushed into downtown, downtown and like the north, central and southern parts of like that downtown pocket, that toy district area and skid row, you're like Skid Row was just like acceptable.

[01:30:29]

You don't like. Yeah.

[01:30:30]

Here's this is a homeless area. And people were like, OK, as long as it's out of sight. And then now it's like that's Venice. Could tell you it's you know, Brentwood has a huge homeless camp now.

[01:30:44]

The valley is all over the valley and it's underpass. And the valley is is just it's just shanty town.

[01:30:50]

It's more like about what it indicates because you go like, oh, this is a epidemic that is spreading, growing.

[01:30:57]

It used to be meant. I used to be, in my opinion, a mental illness problem. I don't think it's that anymore now. I think it's that this city is so unattainable for so many people that are so down on their luck with what's going on with coronavirus that so many people are saying this is my only option.

[01:31:14]

Well, it's definitely there's definitely still a huge mental illness epidemic that we don't really do anything about. And I think you're right.

[01:31:23]

We drove. We we drove. One of the homeless people the other day was like one of the music teachers at the kids school. Really? Yeah, and you're like, OK, she wasn't crazy, I mean, I think her husband is on drugs, but whatever. Yeah. And so, like, it's just it's so bad.

[01:31:41]

And here's the problem. You've got to move it.

[01:31:43]

Where are you going to move to? I'm I don't ever talk about politics, I do not know if Gavin Newsom or Eric Garcetti or Democrat or Republican, I don't know what I thought you were about to say.

[01:31:54]

I don't know if they watch this podcast, but go ahead. I bet they have their own podcast called to Fuks Do Nothing. Yeah. Here's my point is like, I don't know what they are, so I don't mean to talk politics at all. I know nothing about their platforms, but what I will say is they have driven out a lot of my friends who could have helped raise money to help fix problems. And if they keep doing that, then this city has only one direction to go.

[01:32:23]

And it's at a certain point even I will have to leave like like this city's gone straight down.

[01:32:30]

Do you know? And Joe, I hear Joe talk about it on his podcast, and I go I go, oh, come on, Joe. You remember you used to love the city. Yeah.

[01:32:39]

And then I drive through Hollywood the other day and I'm like I'm like, it's not I'm not angry about it.

[01:32:45]

I look at it and I go, these are people that are not getting to live their best life. Hollywood sad is.

[01:32:52]

And there's so much that I go, Hey, Garcetti, drive once, drive once in your own car through Hollywood. And because you're not I don't know where you're driving.

[01:33:02]

I don't know what freeway you get on and where you get off because you're not driving the same roads I drive freeways are covered in trash.

[01:33:07]

And Gavin Newsom, they must not see them as I see it, or they're not they're really not doing anything about it.

[01:33:13]

They must be so in the fucking weeds. Well, they get coronavirus out.

[01:33:16]

Yeah, of course. And there's so much that's on your plate that, you know, to manage, like your mayor, governor of city or state of this size and all the issues. But this is a disaster. It's a disaster.

[01:33:26]

And whatever they've done with taxes and I'm look, I'm sitting here willing to pay my taxes. I know I'm getting taxed out the nose. I'm fine with that. I signed up for that. I like living here. My daughter's like living here. We're cool with it. But there's also programs like whatever happened to fucking Comic Relief, Comic Relief. Guess what? None of them live here anymore. Yeah, like no one gives a fuck about Alex that you you drove Joe out and and fucking Tom out like everyone's leaving and you're like, God damn it, man, it makes sense why the city's going to shit.

[01:33:54]

And it's like I'm like I know I'm this stupid speech is going to change anything, but it's like, hit me up. I'll fucking do a show. Can't raise a million dollars, but maybe we can help out like a block of people.

[01:34:05]

Sure. Yeah. Like I don't, I don't care about politics, I care about people.

[01:34:09]

And, and when you see people not getting to live the happiest life they get to live and not it's just heartbreaking to me.

[01:34:17]

It's true. Whatever. I didn't mean to get on a soapbox. I know you are. You guys support homeless people. You're like they should be homeless.

[01:34:23]

Let's just remind people that a lot of paralyzed guys can feel their dicks.

[01:34:27]

Oh, that was this episode. I think so, wasn't it? I can't remember. I don't remember either this.

[01:34:35]

I hope we're still finding those two girls from Canada. I'll try to post more pictures. That was I know that was a we can, but, you know, we'll see if we can get them. Ladies and gentlemen, this is two bears, one cave the face time in podcast. I can't believe people are fucking first time people. I know it's pretty aggressive, I'm your face time people for knowing when people text me on my face time right back at me.

[01:34:59]

I think that makes there's nothing that makes somebody happier when they're just like, can you make it? And you're like, I'm a FaceTime. You real quick. I'm I'm a survivor texting my thing. Adam Richman, just. What do you say I'm going to just FaceTime them again from. He's Adam Richman, he's a fucking television star, he's game, he is camera ready every time you call him, he's camera ready.

[01:35:23]

OK, so far. Sounds good.

[01:35:26]

Adam Richman, how are you, man? I didn't expect to be called so soon. Hey.

[01:35:32]

Hey, first question. We've been talking about food foods build America. But first question is a face time because Tom says it is is a face time an aggressive move to somebody?

[01:35:43]

I think if you're if you don't know it's coming, it can be a parent child or a child to a parent. And I think you get carte blanche. All right.

[01:35:51]

I'm turning you to the camera so people can see your beautiful face. Hey, real real quick, real quick. I was trying to explain Pizza Hut. And unlike, like the Doe and like and like pizza and real quick, I want to see if I got it right. Give me a quick explanation about Pizza Hut, if you could.

[01:36:10]

So Pizza Hut was the Carney brothers, and they took over an old restaurant and they could only fit eight letters on the sign. They knew they wanted to sell pizza, but the pizza takes up five. So that's how they got cut because it was the three letters at the Pizza Hut. Yeah, he's good. And they used French bread style dough because that's what their customers new set of Italian crust. So that's why it had that kind of crumbly, more French bread like consistency.

[01:36:40]

And then they were failing in the East because people knew what pizza tasted like. So what they did was they created a thicker crust to show like we're not trying to be you were trying to do our own thing, which became their pan pizza. And they streamlined production by not using raw ingredients to get cooked on the pie like we used to get New York. They would cook everything in a different facility and just kind of finish it there. Anything else?

[01:37:06]

I don't know.

[01:37:06]

I just I told I told Tom, I said, you are the consummate professional, that you are always camera ready. And I also said, you know, it was amazing about Adam. I don't know if he can do it right now. He can also do any of his old man versus read intro's just on the drop of a hat. Yeah, he can just give us just just Tom, give us just name a city and Adam will give you a city name a city like a city member's food city like Columbus.

[01:37:31]

Adam OK, Columbus.

[01:37:33]

OK, Columbus', OK, I'm outside the Ohio Deli, a legendary restaurant here in Columbus, serving Buckeye's generation after generation. Now, while I've had a chance to sample the Terminator and simple, amazing sausages at Schmidt's sausage house, I am going to take on the Dagwood challenge. This massive sandwich has been attempted thousands of times, but only a handful of people have managed to finish it. If I do, I get a T-shirt, a picture of the Wall of Fame at my spot in Columbus, Ohio.

[01:38:05]

Food history. Today is the battle of Man versus Dagg. And it ain't your day.

[01:38:11]

What do you mean? God damn it, you're a fucking legend out of your goddamn legend. Oh, that was fantastic.

[01:38:25]

Girls, the girls are loving the treats you sent them. Thank you very much. I love doing after his surgery. Oh, how's Tom doing?

[01:38:32]

Doing well, man. Yeah, everything worked. I miss you. Miss you, man. Yeah. You're the best brother. I love you. I love the new shaman. Says any time. I'll talk to you later. Stay safe. All right, guys.

[01:38:45]

Man, we did a podcast with him at your place years ago.

[01:38:50]

Do you remember this is when Joey talked about spending the night in jail with black people? Yes. And we could not stop laughing.

[01:38:55]

Adam was like, you know, the only thing I don't like to get, like asked is like people asking about, like bowel movements and stuff from doing the show.

[01:39:03]

And I was like, that's what I want to know. Yeah. Do you take big shits? And he was like, all right, first of all, first of all, is that was unbelievable.

[01:39:13]

So that was like savant stuff, man.

[01:39:15]

So we got drunk one night and like New Mexico or something or Arizona. And I did it all night to him, you know, like I say, I made him do like twenty episodes. He remembers them all.

[01:39:24]

He's just his brain is different, retains his he I think he's got a photographic memory, but the way his brain work, he's for this thing, this I can do on like when I started to launch a tour, if covid is, you know, put to rest, let's say later in the year and it'll be let's say it'll start in September and go through twenty, twenty two if you give me like.

[01:39:51]

A couple of weeks to get like get all the information down, you can go like April 11th and I'll be like I'll be in, uh, Madison and then you'll be like July 16th and I'll be like July 16th, Minneapolis, like, I'll retain every city by date for about a year.

[01:40:11]

Like, I can do it for like a year. A little over a year. No, I can't. Well, after the tour this summer, everything I didn't even know what city we're in there and everything was the identical same stage and the identical. But that is like that is just like.

[01:40:24]

Is that not insane? Yeah. He was like remembering a set. I did. I did it all night long.

[01:40:29]

We sat and drank and I would just call a city and and and it was like that's why I say there are guys who know a little bit about a little bit and guys who now know a lot about a lot.

[01:40:41]

He knows so much about so much like even and it's it's I'm telling you, when I said, tell me about Pizza Hut and he just starts rattling off the information, I was like, oh, I do remember that kind of he really retains it.

[01:40:54]

That's a fucking I want that clip of Adam. Can you clip that out? I want to put that out. That clip of Adam Richman doing the read for Columbus is fucking amazing.

[01:41:05]

We got to wrap. We should wrap up. Yeah, um, there's a lot of fun. Thank you guys for watching and listening. It was a great time.

[01:41:11]

Love you too. Burt and Tom. Tom and one gobstoppers while the other wears a shirt. Tom, tell stories in bird snowmachine, there's not a chance in hell that they keep clean. Here's what we call sandbaggers. Okay. No scrapes, a bit of booze, amateur pathology, dirty jokes, raunchy humour, no apologies. Here's one more call to Vegas on Katie.