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[00:00:00]

Hi, guys, Herrity, it's me, Emma Chamberlain. This is anything goes I hate calling myself by my full name. I'm a Frances Chamberlain. That's me, and I don't I don't know what I'm talking about. So I'm excited for today, I just kind of want to sit down, catch you guys up on what's going on in my life, not really have a specific topic, just kind of wing it. I feel like I've been giving so much advice recently that I think I might be out of advice for now.

[00:00:34]

Like, I literally think I ran out. Don't worry. I will once again refill my advice points and I will be able to give advice again. But I just kinda want to talk about random shit today, so I hope you guys are ready for that. You guys are down for that. Hope that's cool with y'all. Um.

[00:00:58]

I kind of want to keep it light, too, because I literally had a panic attack last night. The good thing about having a panic attack before bed, though, is that. You can be super anxious, it's like eating at your brain and then you have a panic attack. And then. You go right to sleep in your anxieties, like kind of gone because you're so exhausted that your brain's like, I'm over it, I'm going to sleep.

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So it's kind of nice, but I feel a lot better today. And I'm ready to just talk about. Random dumb shit, for starters, I'm going to tell a little story that is so incredibly stupid, but I'm going to tell it anyway, so basically I'm obsessed with buying jeans like I love jeans more than anything.

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And I like to collect almost I feel like, OK, I've never been one to, like, collect things. I used to, like, collect socks. They had, like, funny things on them because I just like liked socks. Kind of got over that whole thing and then have since gotten rid of all of those socks, took up a lot of space and never wore any of them after I was like 15. So. Those are Goodwell, but.

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I think the my new thing that I like now is vintage jeans, vintage, if you know what I'm talking about. Your real. Yeah, I've been really into collecting vintage jeans. I don't know why I think it's because they're so comfortable and like. I just can't stop getting them, like every time I find a pair. That's right. It's so lucky almost and it's so rare that, like, I have to get them. But now that I've been collecting genes like this for so many years, I'm kind of I don't have space for them like it's bad.

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But yet. I had a few pairs, I think it was about five that were damaged in some way, so one pair had a fucked up zipper and then the other four pairs had a rip in the ass. OK, so like right under the pocket in the ass, these rips would happen on accident. I would sit down too fast. But Rip. I know the rips are really trendy or whatever to have, like, rips in the bottom of your jeans.

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Personally, I don't like that very much unless it's like in a good spot. But like, if it's right on my ass cheek, like, not really my thing. So I ripped a bunch of jeans in the ass and I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go get them fixed, even though I have literally.

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One hundred other pairs. I'm still going to go get these fixed because I care about them and all of the pairs of denim that I have are like my babies.

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So I go and I get all five pairs of these jeans fixed. It was actually so. I couldn't believe how affordable it was like to get like a hole, but Rip fixed, it was like 20 bucks. I was like, that is so amazing. You could go and buy a new pair of jeans or you could just fix the ones you already have for twenty dollars. Like, that's a pretty. I mean, I guess it's kind of expensive, but but I was kind of impressed, I was like, that's, you know.

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They put a lot of work into that for 20 dollars, that's cool, but anyway, so I got all my jeans fixed. Come home. With the genes. Put a pair on my favorite ones that ripped. And in our enduring them, I rip the other side. So. I immediately bring them back to the tailor and I'm like, hey, so thank you for fixing one side of my ass cheek on these jeans. Well, now you need to fix the other side.

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Super sorry. I will see you in a week. I don't know what's up with that. Super upsetting. Vintage jeans are great, but they do be ripping in the ass for no reason, and it's not like I have a big booty, so it's not like there's any reason for this to be happening to me. Like I don't deserve this. So I just thought I'd share. Yeah. OK, another thing I want to talk about, because it just fucking happened to me right now, I just looked at my clock and it's 10, 11 a.m..

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I have been looking at the clock every day at. 111, 211, 311, 411, 511, six, seven, 11, every like time with 11 as the minute. I don't know what that means, actually, should we read what it means together? Let's find out. OK, so I'm going to look up what seeing the number 11 means, I mean, obviously I'm not super spiritual. I mean, I kind of am in my own way, but not really.

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I still like to look this shit up because it's like, interesting to me. So let's read what seeing 11 a lot means. I also see it everywhere, like it's not just on the clock, like I see 11 all the time. It's kind of become my favorite number. And I know that everybody makes a wish at 11, 11. But like I'm seeing 11 at every hour, like every hour I'm seeing 11. And it kind of makes me weirdly feel safe, like I can't put a finger on it.

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It could be like just my brain has like a mental clock and I know to look at that time or something subconsciously, but either way, there's something about it. It makes me feel like I have like a guardian angel or something. I don't know if that's crazy, but it's been happening for so many months and. It makes me weirdly feel safe for some reason. So anyway, let's find out what 11 means. Eleven is a message from the Angels concerning your soul mission or greater life purpose.

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They are sending you inspiration and encouragement to develop your abilities in ways that will help all of humanity. Number 11 symbolizes the principles of spiritual enlightenment, an awakening and is a reminder from our angels that we have come to this physical world from the realm of spirit. God, this is something. It's an extremely high vibration. Angel number 11 reveals that we have great powers of intuition which make us highly empathetic. Basically, it looks like my soul's larger purpose is within reach.

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I don't know what that means, but I'm excited to find out. I do kind of feel like I have been having an awakening recently, though, like I'm not going to lie. I, I feel like the past few months I've just learned so much about myself. Like I've been revisiting things that have happened to me in the past and like coming to terms with them. I've been like forgiving people, whether I say to their face or not.

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I feel like I've been forgiving people. Behind their back or to their face for things, I feel like I have matured a lot in the past month, I've learned a lot of lessons and I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm kind of like, you know, what I used to be scared of, like growing up in like doing the things that you do when you grow up.

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For example, next steps in your life, like getting married, like fucking being 40, like, I don't know.

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Those are like scary things that I think I was dreading for a long time. And I feel like recently I've kind of found that those things aren't that scary and they're actually really exciting. And, you know, even though I'm not even close to being there yet, I'm 19 years old. I feel like I've grown this, like, appreciation for that, like that. That's going to happen to me one day, hopefully. And like, I'm excited for that.

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I also feel like I've become a lot more level headed. I feel like I used to be really emotional and I'm still emotional for sure. But I think I've kind of like settled down. I don't feel the need to be as loud all the time. I don't feel the need to be talking all the time as much. I used to just talk constantly and be loud, kind of and obnoxious at times, I feel like I'm just kind of over it, like I just am not trying to prove anything to anybody anymore.

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I'm just kind of settled into it to myself, you know what I mean? So I don't know what that means. I don't know if that has something to do with the fact that I've been seeing the number 11, but those things kind of go hand in hand. So that's really interesting.

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I don't know what it all means. I just looked in the mirror and my hair is I honestly love being blonde yaml. I went blonde recently. And I fucking love it, I didn't think I was going to love it this much, but I started using this like certain shampoo that, like, makes your blonde like more like like less orange, less yellow and like more. I don't know. I don't know, uh, less Brassai, I guess, and I, like, love my blonde hair.

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Oh, my God, I'm liking something that's crazy, but no, I really like it. That's shocking. And I kind of want to be blond for the rest of my life. So we'll keep you updated on that.

[00:09:58]

Moving on, since baby Emma was born, technology has improved in just about everything phones, cars, shopping. The only thing that I feel like hasn't really changed is mattresses and airplanes. But that's a story for another day. Mattresses have pretty much been the same forever. And guys, I think that we need a little bit more sleep and I think we deserve better. And finally, the mattress has evolved thanks to purple. I actually use a purple mattress and I'm obsessed with it.

[00:10:26]

It's so comfortable. The secret to purple is the purple grid, a patented comfort technology that adapts to your body's natural shape and sleep style. Purple is for everybody, no matter how you sleep is designed. With over 2800 open air channels and temperature neutral gel. You'll never sleep too hot or too cold. I'm always really hot when I sleep like I sweat so much. And that's literally why I got this bed, because I was like, this can't happen anymore and it's really helped.

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The purple mattress is soft where you want it from, where you need it and comfortably cool all over. It's truly a mattress that does it all. They also have pillows in their pillows are so good. I'm a stomach sleeper and it works perfectly for me. And again, I feel like my body temperature is just on point all night. I feel like I get the best sleep finally because we all know that I didn't sleep for like five years straight.

[00:11:17]

Also, you can count on resting easy every night, year after year because the ultra durable purple grid won't sync or lose shape. I had a huge problem with this, with my old mattress, and it was really frustrating and it caused me back pain, which was not cool.

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So purple is so confident when they do that. Every purple mattress comes with free shipping and returns and a risk free 100 night trial experience. The next evolution of sleep, go to purple dot com, slash Amazon, use promo code Šamaš for a limited time. You'll get one hundred and fifty dollars off any purple. Maja's order over fifteen hundred dollars. That's purple dot com slash Šamaš promo code Emma for one hundred and fifty dollars off any matches. Order of 500 dollars or more terms apply.

[00:11:57]

Thank you Purple. I love you guys. I've been a fan for ever and I love you all. Well, so recently I went surfing for the first time. I was on a family trip and my dad's super into surfing, so he's like, come serving with me. So it's like the show and I went two days in a row. The first day I went, I did not. I got up on the board like maybe twice, not really like not it wasn't great.

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I got really cold really fast because the ocean in Northern California is like 57 degrees. And I was wearing a very thin wetsuit. So I was so cold and the rest of my family had these thick wetsuits on and I'm wearing this thin little wetsuit and I could just feel the cold water, like in my asshole, like, it was just awful.

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And I got cold so fast and I had to get out pretty quickly, but I got up on the board a few times. I don't know if this is going to become a new thing for me. I think I like the idea of surfing more than I actually like surfing. It s like I like the idea of me being like, yeah, I'm gonna hit the waves today and I cannot wait. The swell looks crazy and I'm just like, I'm excited to get out there, like I just want to say shit like that but and I don't even know what I just said or if that makes sense.

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But I like the idea of it. I like the aesthetic of it, like I like the vibe of all of it. But when it comes to actually surfing, like I don't know if I have the patience to learn, I don't know. Second day I went out, I was having really bad anxiety the whole day. And then I got in the water and I'm like, the water was creeping up. It went from, you know, my toes to my knees, to my stomach and then to my, like, chest.

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And I was like, it was so cold that I started crying in the water.

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And I had a panic attack in the water because I was already really anxious and so like going out into the freezing cold ocean. While it's having bad anxiety was like not a good combination, so I fully start crying and I was like having a panic attack in the water and my dad was with me and he's like, what's going on? I was like, I'm literally having a panic attack. And I was like trying to, like, swallow my tears, but I couldn't stop crying.

[00:14:03]

It was so bizarre. And I don't know. I don't know. It was weird. But then that day I was almost like once my panic attack was over, it was very short. I pushed it away. Then I actually caught even more waves because I was kind of like, fuck this, I don't even care about anything. So I'm just going to say YOLO and just send it. So I did. And then I got up more times and I did the day before.

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So I was good. Glad I didn't give up. Surfing is fun, I don't know. We'll see if I end up doing anything with it now that I'm like, I feel like my hair like matches the vibe of surfing, though, because I'm blonde and it's like looks like I, like, go in the sun a lot because, like, my hair looks like kind of sun bleached in a way. So I feel like I fit the vibe right now.

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So it's like I might as well ride this wave no pun intended, but I don't know. We'll see. Another thing that's been interesting is that I haven't been wearing makeup recently, I had like this phase where, like, I didn't want to be around anybody without wearing makeup for, like. Probably. Six months. Just because I mean, honestly, it is because I was on Accutane and so and my acne was kind of bad and like. I was pale, too, because when you.

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When you're on Accutane, you can't go in the sun and so like I was super self-conscious about. How like I almost looked because I was so pale. And yeah, it was just, like, embarrassing to me for some reason. Yeah, I was really pale, my acne was kind of bad, so I was just also for some reason when I was on Accutane, my face would get super red in swollen for some reason, like, I don't know why, but it would just get, like, really puffy and like I would get, like, hot flashes, almost like I was literally going through menopause and.

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So I just felt better with makeup on, but. Now I'm off Accutane, I'm like probably a month off of it, I've been tanning because I'm finally allowed to tan again and my skin is good. I do have a zit right now, actually, my first visit since I'm off Accutane, but I don't even care. I'm like, I'm not going to wear makeup anymore. I just like not wearing makeup.

[00:16:17]

Makes me feel so much more free in a way. I feel like I don't have to worry about rubbing my eyes. I don't have to worry about it falling down my face. I don't have to worry about breaking out from the products I'm using. It's just like nice to just have a clean face, you know, and like. And just let my skin breathe and I feel like my skin looks so much better from it, so it's kind of a win, but it took me a long time to get to this point where I'm just like, fuck this, I don't want to wear makeup.

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It's scary to not wear makeup like in front of certain people. Like there's certain people where you're like, oh, it's fine. But like if you say. Like, say, if you have a crush on a guy and you're going to hang out with them, of course you're going to fucking wear makeup. I mean, of course, but at least that's how my brain was, I was like, of course, I'm nowhere make up, I'm not going to not wear makeup, but now I'm like, fuck that.

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Like, I'm just going to not wear makeup at all, ever kind of go back to my roots. I used to do that on my YouTube channel and I'd really bad acne. I just was like, fuck this, I'm not going to wear makeup because I don't like how it feels on my face. And if people are think I look less good without makeup on, then that's their fucking problem.

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So. That is that, but it feels really good and I challenge you guys to. Take a makeup break, you know, it's good for your skin, it's good for your mind, I think it also helps you. It makes you feel more confident sometimes in like. In the way that your face looks when it's with makeup. OK, I'll explain this. I feel like if I stop wearing makeup for a while, then when I start wearing it again, like I have a new appreciation for the way that makeup is accentuates my features, you know what I mean?

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Whereas when I'm wearing makeup every day, like, I just start to get used to it and then I start to like nit pick it and I'm like, oh, my foundation doesn't lay very well on my face. Like I look bad or like whatever. But if I take a break from wearing makeup, even if I'm just inside all week and then I start wearing makeup again, I'm like, wow, it's really cool how it accentuates my features. It's more of a positive experience.

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Do you know what I'm saying? So take a make a break, see what happens.

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Period. Also, I feel like being able to go outside and tan for me has been really nice because it just. Get some vitamin D in and, you know, it feels good to have a tan. It makes me look healthier, like I look healthier when I'm not just like I don't like a fucking vampire that sits inside. So I'm trying to tan, although I know tanning is, like, not good for you, but I literally can't stop.

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I do hate it, though, like the process of tanning is so irritating, like who the fuck wants to just like lay outside and be sweaty for 30 minutes?

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I do 15 minutes on each side, usually because you've index is insane in L.A., which is basically how strong the sun is. So like, if I lay out for longer than that, I will. It's not healthy, so I do 15 minutes on each side, been growing a nice, healthy tan, it's been great, got nice orange nails to match my tan until one of my nails broke. And now all the nail salons are closed in L.A. so I don't know what to do.

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And I'm scared. My thumb looks like it went in a blender. Like it looks terrible, but. There's nothing I can do about it, and I can't fix acrylics on my own, and I might do a road trip somewhere to get my nails done. No joke. Like I might drive a few hours away to help Frankie. Don't do that. I might literally drive.

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To San Francisco to get my nails done and then come back like it's kind of tempting because they love having my nails done. But anyway, whatever last thing I want to talk about is jewelry, because I've been obsessed with jewelry recently. I am going to look at what I have going on right now.

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I've I'm obsessed with getting piercings, for one. Obsessed like I love piercings, love getting my ears pierced up, although they always get infected and close up. But I think that this time, like the last time I got my ears pierced, my body reacted properly.

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So now. I think that these ones might be here to stay, but here's what I've been into recently, mixing gold and silver. OK, I had this phase where I was like only silver jewelry, period, nothing else. But now I'm like gold and silver.

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It's every it's kind of everything. Like I've been wearing this gold chain necklace within a little silver lock necklace.

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And then I have a bunch of different gold and silver hoops in my ears, and it's just like so fucking fun is really fun. And I it took me so long to figure it out like it's one of the best accessories, I think, and I'm obsessed with it. But it is hard to find good jewelry places. So if you guys have any, let me know.

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Preferably ones that aren't that are a decent quality because I do get infections in my ears when it comes to necklaces and shit.

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I don't care where it's from, but like with earrings, they have to be real metal or else I get an infection. So shout out to my body for literally rejecting everything fun because there's so many cute fun earrings that I love so much but that I can't wear because they'll give me an ear infection so and make my ears drip with pus. So, yeah. You know, I also speaking of piercings, I made up my I made a decision that I'm never getting a tattoo.

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I don't think it matches my personality. I don't I I love tattoos on other people. I think it's like so fucking cool. And I. I love it. I love seeing people's tattoos. I think it's like a very it can be very attractive thing as well. I really like it just is like cool when people have tattoos. I like it but not for me. Not for me. I was talking to my dad and I was like, I don't think I can ever get a tattoo.

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And he's like, I can't picture you with one. I can't. So that's that. I know I was going to get big, big tattoo. I know I talked about that big because my stuffed animal as a kid, but I think that's canceled. I, I'm never going to get a tattoo. I'm very indecisive in my mind. Changes about things very quickly. So I don't think it's a good idea. Anyway, I'm done talking about me.

[00:22:32]

All that stuff was so boring and irrelevant, but I just kind of wanted to talk about things that were light for a change. And hopefully it wasn't too boring, but now I'm going to. Answer random questions, I just asked you guys to send me random questions if you want to tweet questions to me for the podcast at Ajai podcast on Twitter, let me find some questions to answer and I will be back. OK, I found a few questions, let's get into it, so somebody said, I'm really interested about your opinion on this.

[00:23:08]

How much freedom with the Internet will you give your kids? When do you think you'll give them a phone? And how will you enforce their privileges? How would you help them stay away from the bad parts of the Internet? Honestly, I'm going to keep my child off the Internet for as long as possible to start like I mean, I'm not going to like it's one of those things that I'm not going to hand my child, if that makes sense, like I'm going to I don't think I'm going to give, like, put YouTube in front of my kid's face when they're young.

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Like, I don't think I'm going to make my child an Instagram when they're fucking first born. I know people do that. They, like, make their baby and Instagram when they're babies, like, I'm going to keep my child off the Internet until they're like, Mom, I really want to phone in like, mom, everybody at school is Instagram. Like, I'm going to keep them almost in the dark about all of it until it's like not avoidable anymore.

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If that makes sense.

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I want my kid to have as normal of a childhood as possible, which is another reason why I don't want to raise my kid in L.A., because I feel like here it's like everybody's kind of a few steps ahead.

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I'm going to keep my kid off of it for as long as possible. But then at a certain point, it's inevitable. They're going to be like, hey, I want an Instagram, and that's when I'm going to give them a huge. Talk about everything, I'm going to be like, OK, here's the rules. Everything on the Internet is permanent. The Internet is not real life. Never be mean to people on the Internet, don't talk to strangers on the Internet, going to give them the whole fucking rundown.

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But I'm also not going to be the type of parent that's like you're only allowed to go on your phone for 15 minutes a day because at the same time, you have to give your child the freedom.

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And we do live in a world where, like, our phones are very important. And so I'm not going to like I'm going to let my kid learn for themselves, but I'm also going to make sure that I'm consistently planting seeds about how toxic it can be and how you need to be careful about X, Y and Z. So it's like a balance. I'm not going to I'm going to keep them away from it for as long as possible. But at the same time, once they get on their phones and they start to do the whole thing, you know, what can I do?

[00:25:27]

But I'm definitely going to keep my child off the Internet. I don't know what I'm even going to be doing when I'm an adult with my life, but I know for a fact that I'm gonna keep my kid off the Internet at least like I wouldn't. I'm not going to post a photo, my child. I just can't because I have seen the way that it like if my kid isn't OK with it, then it's not going to I need them to tell me, Mom, I'm I want to be on the Internet.

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Like, I like this, like, I want to be in your video or, you know, whatever, and I'll consider it. But even then, like, no, I don't know. I think the Internet's so awful, but also like so amazing, but also like so awful. And it can be so scary, especially for somebody who's developing, like, the effects that it has on kids and their self-esteem is so terrible and like the things that it can cause.

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I mean, you know, I struggled with so many different mental things because of the Internet and I want my kid to. Grow up without that, if possible.

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I don't know if it's possible, but I'm going to do my absolute best to protect them from it, but also hopefully show them how the Internet can be fun and hopefully help them have a healthy relationship with it.

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When it comes to enforcing kids privileges, I have never been a believer in like being overly controlling of your child. I feel like if my kid wants to spend all day on their phone, they're going to figure out on their own that that doesn't make them feel very good. And I'll be there to be like, hey, you're feeling a little bit down in the dumps. That's this is why it's because you were on your phone all day, but.

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That's up to you. You know what I mean, if you'd rather go get Nojin or something with me instead. Let's go do that. But if you want to be on your phone all day, that's up to you, you know what I mean? If it starts to get out of control, then whatever. But I also think that it's very normal.

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So it's about giving your kids the option like you don't you know, you can be on your phone if you want or you can come live in the real world with me and we can go do something fun, you know what I mean? And I think spending time with your child as well will help prevent that. If you like, give your kids things to do, put them into sports, you know, get them started on some hobbies, take them to the beach, take them to go get food, like do things like that so that they don't have as much of a reason to sit on their phone all day.

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I don't know. The best thing you can do is just tell your child. The truth of the matter in a way that's respectful of them, like if you approach your kid like, hey, you know, I want you to do what makes you happy and do it, I want you to feel like you have freedom. But at the same time, I need to tell you the dangers of the situation in a way that makes them feel supported it, but not like they're in trouble.

[00:28:17]

I think that they're actually going to listen. I don't know. We'll see. I won't probably have a kid for another, what, 10 years. So we have some time to think about that more. Somebody ask, what's my wider family's opinion on my career? I think in the beginning. My family, my parents were in it with me, so that's kind of different, but. Like my entire family, I think they were kind of like what is going on?

[00:28:42]

And I think it was really confusing in the beginning for everybody. But I think now everybody kind of has you know, it's been I've been on the Internet for. Three years, so I think everybody is kind of used to it now understands the whole thing and they're really supportive and I'm really grateful for that. But I think it took some time for everybody to understand, like what I'm doing and why I'm doing it and. That this is like a serious thing and it's kind of not just like a little jokey thing that I'm, you know what I mean?

[00:29:14]

Like, I don't think people realize how serious it was. Like, I don't think my family necessarily realized how serious it was until I, like, moved out and all that. And we've had a lot of conversations about it and they've asked a lot of questions. And now I think we're all on the same page and they kind of see it for what it is, which is awesome. But I don't also expect people who don't who aren't in it to understand it.

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Like it's a very weird thing and it's also a very new thing, you know, I mean, this didn't exist 20 years ago. So, like. We're all kind of learning about this whole thing together and, yeah, but they're they're into it, they support me and I think that they're proud of me and I'm really grateful for that. Next, are you going to live in L.A.? Because, you know, I've made my decision now recently I've decided.

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No, I used to say yes, but like, I literally hate it here right now.

[00:30:01]

For some reason, I can't put a finger on it, but I don't like it right now. I'm kind of pissed off with L.A. at the moment. I want to raise my kid somewhere else. Maybe give my kids some seasons, maybe raise my kid in, like California, but like just not.

[00:30:20]

In L.A.. L.A. is an awful toxic place, it also is very amazing and there's very many amazing opportunities and there's some amazing people here as well as shady, but there's also some really amazing people here that I wouldn't have met if I never lived here that I think have changed my life. And like, I would never trade that for the world. But at the same time, I. Don't live here forever, like I want my friends and like whoever I marry to move somewhere else.

[00:30:51]

When more like 30 or something, I don't know where that location is going to be, but definitely not fucking here. The other weekend I was in this little beach town in Northern California and I was like, this is so amazing. It's so chill here. There's not a lot to do. But then again, when you're next to the beach, you can just go to the beach every day, I guess. I was like, this is like perfect, this would be a perfect place where as a kid, maybe too boring, I don't know, but like a little beach town somewhere, I feel like it would be very amazing and.

[00:31:26]

That's kind of my life goal, I'm kind of excited for that part of my life because I'm kind of sick of being like in this. Constant go, go, go state of being in L.A. and like, I don't know, and it's just kind of scary here, I don't know. I'm ready to get out of it eventually. Somebody said, are there any other types of media you want to venture in, like reality shows, acting honestly?

[00:31:51]

No, I'm really happy with Chamberland Coffee and. YouTube and podcast and, you know, social media in general, which everybody does. That's not really like whatever, but I'm really happy with it.

[00:32:05]

I don't have, like, a passion for acting. I don't really have an interest in being in a reality show. Like, I don't feel the need to like I think a lot of people want to keep adding more things to their list of things that they do or whatever, and that's great. But like, I think that sometimes they can force it and I don't ever want to force anything.

[00:32:24]

I if I wanted to be an actor, I would be an actor. I wouldn't have became a YouTube or I want to be a YouTube or I like being myself on camera, which is why being an actor would just not work for me. Like, I think I'd cringe too much.

[00:32:38]

Actors really do hard work because that shit's like so mentally confusing. And I have some friends that act and I just like it just doesn't appeal to me, like whatever.

[00:32:50]

And I can't sing, so definitely won't be going into music and but I love listening to it, so that's perfect. Yeah, for now I'm just I loved working on Chamberland Coffee. I love making YouTube videos and I love making podcasts. So I'm just going to stick to that and we'll see where that takes me. I think I'm more interested in like.

[00:33:10]

Instead of going, like, doing more things where, like I'm the personality in it, I really like the idea of like having a business in learning about that because I'm passionate about that. And it's a confusing process. But that's something that I'm more interested in than, say, becoming an actor or something.

[00:33:30]

Moving on. Is there something you look back on and regret doing? You know, I've been struggling with this recently because I'm always somebody that believed to, like, live with no regret.

[00:33:41]

Like, I believe that you can't regret things. I mean, obviously, if you do something like. Really bad, like, I don't know, even if you like, commit a crime, like, let's say you like steal from a store and you go to jail or something, obviously certain crimes are different. But like, I'm talking about something that's. Didn't necessarily harm anyone when it comes to the other stuff, that's a whole nother conversation, but let's say you do something really not good, right?

[00:34:13]

Like steel or, you know, you.

[00:34:18]

Cheat on somebody, I've never done that, but I'm just giving examples like things like that. The thing is. I feel like the way that people should look at mistakes is not like in a way of regret, but in a way of. Wanting to learn and grow from it, you know what I mean? I, I do have regrets for sure. Like there's things that I regret, but. At the same time, I wouldn't be me without those things and every single one of the things that I quote unquote regret I've learned so much from.

[00:34:52]

I do my absolute best every single day to turn my feeling of regret into a feeling of. Inspiration to be a better person and to. Do the right thing and to take care of myself and to take care of others and to treat people right like I use it as inspiration for that. And I also appreciate the lessons that those regret's have taught me. And so I think that if you look at it like that, having regrets is actually a really positive thing and it can help you become a better person, whereas just sitting there and regretting something doesn't get you anywhere, but using it as a way to grow and learn about something is is great.

[00:35:33]

Like I've had regrets where. They've taught me something that, like there's no way I would have learned otherwise, and I'm so grateful for that lesson, but the problem is you have to make the mistake to learn that lesson sometimes. And that's what shitty about life, but. If you live in regret, you won't ever be able to move past it. But if you accept that you've done what you've done and you take the steps to be a better person and do better and not do that same thing again.

[00:36:05]

Then that's actually a really amazing thing. Somebody as favorite thing about my fan base. I mean, there's so many things, I think mainly just the. Like, I feel like. We all have the same sense of humor and like think the same things are funny, and I think it's really cool how you guys make me laugh, like a lot like you guys will comment shade. That's so fucking funny to me. Or you'll tweet should. I mean, it's super funny or whatever.

[00:36:33]

And it's like I love that. I love that you guys get my sense of humor and like, know how to make me laugh. Like sometimes, you know, if I mean, if I'm kind of bummed out, I'll be on Twitter and, you know, somebody will like, tweet me something that's really funny and like that makes my day, you know what I mean? And I love that. And I love that you guys get me like that.

[00:36:51]

So definitely that. But also just, you know. The support and, you know, the understanding that you you guys have. For me is really special, and I just. Appreciate the support and like the. And the love that you guys give me that I feel like is so special, somebody said, what would be the perfect soundtrack for a movie of your life? Definitely this charming man by the Smiths would be in it. Definitely. We're going to be friends by blacks is a black stripes.

[00:37:21]

White stripes. That's embarrassing. The White Stripes. It's in the Napoleon Dynamite movie, and that song will forever. Be in my head also, what you know by two door cinema club would be in their. Definitely such great heights by the Postal Service. Definitely a lack of color by Death Cab for Cutie. West coast by coconut, records', dair by guerrilla's, for sure, also. Read My Mind by the Killers Entertainment Dollar Song, any Kacey Musgraves song, any song by The Strokes.

[00:38:01]

Um. Any song by Wings, Paul McCartney Wings, any Beatles song, David Bowie as well would be in their. Vampire Weekend would be in their county, would be in their. Oh, my God, the growlers would need to be in there. That's a crazy one. Beach fossils in the Walters as well got just appertaining, would be in their. Oh, the band hers would be in there, especially what's that song called? It's like my favorite song.

[00:38:33]

How did I forget what once was by hers? Oh, my God. Sorry, I need to stop. That's like I don't know why I just went inside on that. Somebody said I can't get over the fact that all my friends have boyfriends at the moment and I don't. The thing is, I don't even want to be with anyone. And I couldn't see myself being a long term commitment. It's very scary to me. Have you ever felt this way?

[00:38:54]

Absolutely. I had a period of time there where I was the only single friend and all my friends had boyfriends and I was like, holy shit, this is awful. What do I do?

[00:39:04]

This happened multiple times in my life because I like really have a hard time finding people I like. And then when I do, it's like, great. It's at least great for as long as it's going to be great, I mean, depends, but the thing is, if you aren't ready to be in a committed relationship, I know that it's hard because when you know your friends have a boyfriend and you don't. Or girlfriend, if your friends are in a relationship in general and you're not, it can feel it makes you feel very isolated because you're like, OK, they're busy with their significant other like all the time.

[00:39:38]

Right. Because, OK, when you're dating somebody, you hang out with them.

[00:39:42]

At night sometimes, or you go to dinner with them or you like get coffee with them or whatever, and you're like doing things with them, and those are normal times that you would have spent with your friend. But then now your friend is with their boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other and you're like, oh my God, what the fuck?

[00:39:56]

Like now I have all this free time and like, I'm kind of feel left out because I now have to split my time with my friend with the significant other. The thing is, this is a great time for you to make more friends. It's a great time for you to start a hobby, start like putting that extra love into whatever you're into at the moment, you know what I mean? Like, this is a great opportunity to focus on you, because if you're like if you were ready for a relationship, then like, fuck you have fun.

[00:40:29]

Try to, like, find someone you're interested in. Send a few DM's. Walk up to somebody at a coffee shop, like fuckin send it, but if you're not ready, then. Just spend this time on yourself, work on yourself, make yourself better, but also don't be afraid of committed relationships. I'm like, you know, I don't know if this is weird about me, but I, like, don't have any hesitation with it. Like, I'm never like I'm either yes or no.

[00:40:56]

When it comes to that type of stuff. I feel like I'm either like, yes, I would date you for sure. Or like I don't want to have anything to do with you at all. I don't really talk to people usually. Unless I'm like interested in something more than just like a conversation or like a little thingy, you know, like I'm not in it to be messing around, I guess, like, I, I, like, really plan on things being for the long haul.

[00:41:24]

Like, I don't ever plan on it being like, yeah, I'll probably date this this person for a few months and then I'm out like or I'll get with this person for like a few months and then I'm out. But I don't want to put a label on it. Like, I like that security, you know, and I like being in a really I mean, as long as the person I'm with is good, like being in a relationship is a really beautiful thing.

[00:41:46]

And if it's the right one, then you're going to be learning and growing from it while you're in it as well. So don't be afraid, you know what I mean? Just wait for that right person to come along. And it's actually can be a really beautiful thing. I didn't think that that was possible, though.

[00:42:02]

I used to think that like long term relationships in general, I was like, I don't think that there's any way that this can be. I always thought of it as being something that like takes that like knocks you down a few levels. Does that make sense?

[00:42:15]

Like, I always thought, like, OK, if you're in a relationship, then you're giving up, you're giving up your freedom and you're giving up like your drive and all the stuff, like you're going to become lazy and you're going to whatever, but. That's actually not true. I think that if you're in the right relationship, you will be literally learning and growing and like becoming better way faster than you would have on your own, like being in the right relationship will.

[00:42:47]

Force you to like want to be a better person and will force you to work harder and like. Will force you to kind of. Look at things that you've been doing in a new way because you're like, would this person that I'm with now, like, how would they have felt about the things that I did my past or how, you know, whatever? And then it makes you like. Think about it, it makes you want to be better, you know what I mean?

[00:43:12]

When you admire the person that you're with and they like, push you to be better in a way that's not judgmental, right? Because that's key, but I think that's a fucking beautiful thing. So, you know, obviously don't force yourself into anything, but also don't be scared. Like you can be a really beautiful thing that can teach you a lot.

[00:43:30]

And yeah, somebody said it's koczela legitimately stressful for you, like the idea of planning outfits and meeting tons of people and being in big crowds like I know it's Coachella's. So it's obviously going to be fun. But does it make you anxious?

[00:43:42]

Honestly, no, I, I mean, I get a little bit anxious, but it's more like just excited for me.

[00:43:47]

I'm a very well I don't know about any more. I used to be a very social person, like craved social interaction. Like I just loved being in big crowds of people, loved meeting new people, could talk to anybody, whatever. And I'm still like that for sure. But I also feel like I don't really have this, like, craving for it as much anymore. I used to be, like, so excited to go to something like Coachella because I would just see so many people that I knew at once.

[00:44:16]

And it was like so interesting. And it was like kind of fun to people watch. And like, you never know what's going to happen. You're going to have so many fun conversations with people. You're going to see so many people see so many different outfits. It was like fun. It's exciting. But now I'm going to like.

[00:44:31]

I'm really content with, like, my home life right now, so I'm almost like. I don't really I'm kind of like, yes, when Coachella comes around, like you best believe, it's going to be amazing and I cannot wait. But also I'm not like I don't crave these social interactions anymore. And I do think that they actually have been giving me a little bit more anxiety recently than they used to. I think I used to just like.

[00:44:55]

Love being around people, but now I do think that it's been giving me a little bit more anxiety because it's like I'm the type of person where I never used to think like this, but recently I have been and maybe this is a bad thing, but I now, like, get anxiety about, like what I said. Like, I'm like, what if that joke wasn't funny or like, what if they thought I was annoying or like, what if, you know, I, like, overshared or like, what if, you know what I mean?

[00:45:20]

There's like so many things to worry about after you're done talking to somebody, it's so much easier to just be with the people that you love, know and trust. Hang out with them, talk to them about your feelings, hang out with them, and then there's no risk because you know that you can trust them. Talking to people that you don't know that well is like kind of risky. I also have this, like, constant paranoia about like.

[00:45:42]

People like lying about like, what if, OK, like I have this, like, anxiety where I'm like, what if I walked up to somebody who was like, your outfit's really cute? And then they went and told everybody that I said that their outfit was ugly. Like, I have this anxiety that people like. Have it out for me or something, I don't know why that is, but it's like this weird paranoia constantly where I feel like people are trying to like.

[00:46:05]

Changed my character like they want. Does that make sense or, like, make me look bad or something? And that's not true? Like, I don't think that that's true. I don't actually think people do that or are trying to do that at all.

[00:46:17]

But I think that I do have a like fear of that. And I think that I get anxiety about that.

[00:46:23]

Seemed like so irrational. That is how rational is it to be up all night in bed being like, what if somebody lies about me?

[00:46:31]

What, like that's just so, like out of my control and like something that I could easily be like, hey, guys, this is not true.

[00:46:39]

But like, I always have, like, fears of people, like lying about my character.

[00:46:44]

And I think that being around a lot of people at once makes that anxiety worse and just anxiety worse in general, but Coachella is fun. I am really excited. I can't wait to have coordinating outfits with all my friends and all like three of them.

[00:46:58]

And and it's going to be crazy. But that was like really off topic.

[00:47:04]

I don't really know where what happened.

[00:47:07]

Somebody asked me, have you ever pooped completely naked? Yes, sometimes. Sometimes you just need to get naked. Yeah, I've definitely done that, whether it was before the shower or it was or things just got a little bit too out of hand and clothes started flying off. It has happened. Somebody said, do you really see everything on Twitter?

[00:47:29]

Also, do you have anything muted? I don't have anything muted. I don't even know how to do that. But I also I don't I definitely don't see everything on Twitter because I don't go on Twitter that much.

[00:47:39]

I found it can be like a really, really crazy, overwhelming, anxiety provoking app. And like so I definitely don't see everything because I'm not on it all the time. I do definitely go on it, but just like not a lot just because I feel like it can really affect my brain in a negative way.

[00:47:59]

And there's just like so much information all at once and it can be so overwhelming. So I do avoid it because of that, but. I don't have anything muted, so I don't know how that works. Somebody said I was diagnosed with anxiety three months ago. My doctor was getting me a therapist and I freaked out. I convinced my family that I was fine because I was scared, even though I wasn't. The thought of me talking to new people scares me.

[00:48:20]

Love you and your podcast entrust you to ask you for advice. Well, I'm so glad that you feel like you can ask me for advice. I really appreciate that. And I'm here for you always. So here's the thing that you need to remember.

[00:48:35]

The thing that I think I used to hate, hate, hate, hate therapy, because I went to therapy for a few years when I was younger, I actually was only a few months, but I didn't like it either. It made my problems worse at the time and. I really hated it, but. I think it was just because I didn't have a good therapist, like I don't think it was, I had a good match. Here's the thing.

[00:49:00]

Well, you need to remember is this person is talking to people all day about their problems, OK? They're not judging you for yours. If anything, you never have to talk to this person again. You can tell them anything you want. And if for some reason you get uncomfortable and you're like, I don't want to see this person ever again, like I embarrass myself, you just don't you stop going to that therapist like it's a very low risk situation.

[00:49:23]

I know that it's scary, but I can promise you that it does feel really good to get everything off your chest and therapists can really help. My experience was personally not the best, but at the same time. I do believe that therapists can be a really, really useful thing, and I remember when I I remember I was going through a really tough time and I actually called a therapist once. She just did sessions like one off sessions on the phone.

[00:49:50]

And, like, she really helped me, you know, and it was scary to give her a call. But once I did it, it was like really it felt really good and I felt this huge weight lifted. I think that you give it a try and if you don't like it, you can always stop going.

[00:50:03]

So. Don't bottle up your feelings and don't invalidate your feelings because. You're afraid of going to a therapist or you're afraid of what people will think. Sometimes you have to do uncomfortable things to help you with your problems to later. Have a better, happier, healthier life. Coffee time, he. OK. Oh, my God. I'm really hungry for some reason, I don't know why. I'm too lazy to cook, I also I think all my avocados are rotten, so I was going to make eggs with avocados, but I don't think I can because I don't think my avocados are.

[00:50:45]

I think they're rotten, so anyways, um, OK. How do you forget about somebody that you spent every day of your life with for years? I can't do it and I was completely cut from their life.

[00:50:58]

It's so hard. You know, this is interesting because I don't know if you're ever going to forget, I don't think you are a.

[00:51:09]

There's people that I was really close to the. I'm not close to anymore, and where, you know, the loss of them has really hurt me and I have never forgotten about them, like I still think about them sometimes to this day. But I think that the way that I think about them now is a lot. It doesn't hurt me to think about them.

[00:51:31]

Yes. They're going to cross my mind occasionally, of course, but it doesn't hurt me anymore. So it's all with time.

[00:51:39]

There's nothing that you can do. To make yourself. Not care anymore, OK, you're going to care like that's fucking normal and it's inevitable, but I think that you just have to be patient with yourself, don't beat yourself up over it.

[00:51:56]

And eventually you're going to be able to think of them and be like, oh, this is a passing thought.

[00:52:03]

And. I hope that they're doing well. Sorry, I was yawning. I hope that they're doing well, but I'm just going to. Push that thought away. You know what I mean, you just like let it be a passing thought, but I mean, there's no way like I think my parents probably even think about, like, their first relationships or some of their old friends that they don't have any more. Like, there's no way that like I don't think that she goes away.

[00:52:25]

That's always going to be in your brain. But it's about how you feel about it when you think of it. And I think that you're going to get to a point where. It doesn't hurt you anymore. Somebody asked, what would a 15 year old Emma, think of current Emma? Oh, my God. Honestly, I I know I don't wanna be an asshole, but I think 15 year old me would be like, wow. I think my 15 year old me would be really proud of myself.

[00:52:51]

Because I have really. Blossomed a lot. And. In a short amount of time, and I think that I would be really relieved and like excited to see that and I think 15 year old me would also be really happy that I. Found something I was passionate about finally and like. I think that me and 15 year old me would be friends for sure. And I'd have a lot of advice for 15 year old me that I probably I would be giving advice to 15 year old me and 15 year old me would be like, shut the fuck up and not listen.

[00:53:26]

And that's what's wrong with me. So anyway, but I think we would be friends.

[00:53:31]

Somebody said in a if there was the purge, you know, from the movie, I don't I didn't even see the movie, but I know it's like there's no laws for 24 hours or something. Would you hide or would you go out and do something, definitely hide a thousand percent hide. But I also feel like somebody would probably try to kill me. I don't know who it would be, but I I wouldn't be surprised if somebody's trying to kill me.

[00:53:51]

So I would definitely go into a closet, lock it and. Not come out until it was over, I would literally go to another city like I would in hide in Alaska or something. I have no interest in hurting others, stealing things or anything of that sort, and that's not very. That doesn't sound fun to me. Somebody said, did you ever listen to One Direction when you're younger, everybody talking about one direction on Twitter and don't be mad at me, but I still don't know why, because I don't go on Twitter enough.

[00:54:22]

And so, like, I didn't read into it, I guess they might be doing something together or something or they're all friends again or something. I don't I don't really know what's going on, but I didn't really listen to a lot of one direction as a kid or Justin Bieber. Like, I never really was into the pop music thing. Like as a kid, for some reason, I didn't even really listen to music until like freshman year of high school, eighth grade ish.

[00:54:46]

So, like, I was kind of out of the loop. But I did know definitely a strong handful of One Direction songs. And there are definitely a few that I liked. And I also like that song by now. That's like the one that is really sweet. I don't know, it's called like this town or something that's on it. It's not called this town. I don't know, but like, what's it called, I'm going to find it.

[00:55:11]

It's on my Sleepytime playlist. Oh, here it is. Yeah, it's called The Sound. OK, anyway, really good song, very relaxing. Somebody said, I'm a junior in high school, still have no clue what I want to do with my life, and I just feel pressure telling me that I should already know. I guess it's not really a question, but I need some advice. The thing is, there is this pressure in our society in general to like know what you want to do with your life when you're like fucking born, like people just expect you to, like, know how you what you want to deal with your whole life.

[00:55:42]

That is just so unrealistic and it's so sad that, like, that's the world that we live in where, like, we have to have our shit figured out the second that we breathe our first breath, like, that's just so annoying and not true. I think that, you know. You will find it on your own time and there's no rush, and even if you go to college for four years for something that you're kind of iffy on. Just that's OK.

[00:56:11]

Like, you don't need to know. If you need to take a gap year or something to figure it out, like if you don't want to go to college at all, like there's no rules, like I know that everybody says, oh, my God, look at I just looked at my fucking phone. It's 11, 11. God, I literally swear to God. I don't understand why this keeps happening with this. No. Oh, my God, it's scaring me.

[00:56:35]

Anyway. You don't need to have your shit all figured out. Be patient with yourself. It's going to come on its own time when you're ready to discover it. Oh, somebody said, can we get some sneak peeks of what's coming up on Chairman Kavi?

[00:56:51]

Listen, y'all, I can't say a lot, but I'm going to make a whole there's something something big.

[00:56:58]

OK, so something this is what I can say. I think I have to send this to my team and make sure it's OK. Something very big, this Chamblain coffee. Is changing and it's getting a lot cooler, a lot better, and a lot of things are going to change very soon and we've been working on it for so long and I'm so excited, I can't talk about it yet. But just know that, like, I'm very excited about it.

[00:57:24]

And I don't think I've ever been this excited about something in my life.

[00:57:29]

New products and another whole change of things are changing.

[00:57:35]

Get excited. Oh, this is really interesting, somebody said, has there ever been a time in your life where you thought you had everything together, but then you reflected on that time and realized that you were actually wrong? Sorry, this is kind of dark. Absolutely.

[00:57:51]

Oh, my God. Yes. So I've like I can think of specifically a time in my life when I was definitely not doing well. But like I had convinced myself that, like the people in my life and like the things I was doing with my life were good. Because I was like. Because I just wanted that so bad that, like, I convinced myself that it was true in retrospect, the people in my life were toxic. I had a bunch of issues with my mind, like my mind was fucked, like really bad mental issues, like struggling with like.

[00:58:29]

Depression in a really bad way, but like wouldn't admit it to myself, so it was like this weird thing that I was like swallowing and bottling up and like not admitting to myself really bad anxiety, no confidence, like all that shit toxic people around me like. And I just but I convinced myself that I was like living my best life. I don't know, a thousand percent. Somebody said, what do you do when you're bored or feeling down to lift your spirits, especially in quarantine recently?

[00:58:57]

I think going to the beach has really helped me. I love going to the beach, even if it's just like driving past it. That really helps me jumping in the ocean, if you guys don't live near an ocean, maybe of a lake, maybe you have a fuckin pool in your backyard, maybe you have a bathtub, just getting in a body of water for some reason really helps me. It makes me feel really calm and happy. So that's what I've been doing.

[00:59:20]

All right, so last question, somebody said if you were to ask your older self a question, what would you ask? I would ask them.

[00:59:32]

You know, actually, I don't think I would ask them anything. I don't want to know, like I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I like living in the moment, like I don't want to know what my life is going to be like in 10 years, I don't want to know. I mean, I have my own ideas of what I want it to look like, but I wouldn't even want to ask right now because, like, what if I go in a different direction and I do something completely different with my life that would like bummed me out about what I'm doing now?

[01:00:06]

I'd be like, well, then what's the point of what I'm doing now? You know what I mean? So, like, no, I don't think I'd ask them anything. On that note. I really have to use the potty. Thank you guys for listening to me. Just ramble about random shit for so long today. Please feel free to review and subscribe to anything goes on, all the places that you listen to podcast. I really appreciate it.

[01:00:28]

Leave a review if you want. Give me a little five stars. Never hurt nobody and.

[01:00:33]

I really appreciate you guys and I appreciate you listening to me talk and let me just vent to y'all. And if you want to tweet questions or topics to me, Twitter is at Ajai podcast, and that's about it. I'm going to go pee now. I've been holding it for the past 30 minutes and. I love you all so much. Um, follow your dreams and be yourself, OK, I'm out of here.