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[00:00:00]

Bramble's Hi, guys, welcome to Anything Goes. Happy Thursday, Vila's news when it comes out, it's Thursday when I'm actually recording this, so this will come out in a week. Not that you fucking care, but.

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But that's what's going on. It's literally 8:00 a.m. it's 8:00 in the morning right now, I've been waking up so early for some reason, like my body just wants me awake, so I'm just going to go with the flow.

[00:00:32]

Like, my body just wants to be awake by, like, 8:00, then you know what? Why not? Let's get right into it, though, so. This topic is really interesting because this kind of came to me last night as I was falling asleep and I was like, I need to talk about this on the podcast. Like, this is actually an important conversation that I think I need to have, not only for myself, but for other creators and for.

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Even potentially people who have no interest in being on the Internet and just our viewers of it, and they just like to watch it and look at it and they don't want to be a part of it. Or for people who are aspiring you, tubers, Instagram or whatever, anything actually could go for musicians, it could go for actors, this could go for anybody who puts himself out there and is kind of in the public eye in any way, shape or form.

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I think it's an important conversation to be had.

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And I don't feel like a lot of people talk about it. I feel like it's kind of this thing that everybody has floating in the back of their heads, but nobody actually ever talks about it.

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And I'm here to fucking lift the veil, everybody, because I don't give a fuck and I'm over it. And I feel like I've had a mental switch. Like I feel like my brain's done a full 180 on this topic. And so I want to talk about that journey and talk about what that is in the first place, because I'm just kind of alluding to it, if that's even the right word and I'm not talking about it, so.

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Today, we're talking about. The impending doom and fear of becoming, quote unquote, irrelevant on the Internet. This is. Such an interesting phenomenon, phenomenal phenomenon, whatever, so I think that from the time that you start on the Internet at all in any capacity, your number one concern is like, how long is this all going to last?

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Is this going to last forever? Probably not. How I'm going to keep this thing going. The thing about the Internet is that. It moves a lot faster than any other. Kind of. Profession, maybe. Like, for example, um, Brad Pitt was in one was in like a not in one movie. He was in a lot of movies, but he was in a lot of movies. But he doesn't ever need to make a movie again.

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And he's always like his impact was made. Right. And he kind of. Is going to be a celebrity and is going to be. Quote unquote, relevant forever just because he's Brad Pitt, right? But on the Internet, things move it a lot different of a speed and a lot different a way. It's like one minute everybody can be carrying in the next minute, it seems that people stop caring. It's a very quick. Switch that turns off, you know what I mean, at least that's the way that it feels or the way that it looks.

[00:03:44]

Um. Obviously, somebody like Brad Pitt is doing. Yeah, I mean, it's not the most amazing comparison, but it's too late. It came out of my mouth basically. I think that everybody on the Internet is so scared of what they have going away. They're so scared of having all of the attention go away.

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They want to keep that momentum forever for many reasons. I mean, No. One, because for a lot of people, they've taken risks. And now suddenly this has become how they make their money. And most of these people are very young and they're like, fuck, I have to keep this shit going because I need to continue to make money and support myself, because this is I draw I left everything for this.

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It's fucking terrifying, it's absolutely terrifying and, you know, people are like, if I slip up or if I stop making videos that are as good or I you know, people just stop caring for whatever reason, like I'm fucked, you know, I need to keep this shit going.

[00:04:54]

The thing is, I used to torture myself about this all the time. I would be like. God, what am I doing? Like, I don't do collabs with people really anymore, I don't do things that are super shocking. You know, I'm just kind of like making videos that are fun for me. And if people like them, then cool.

[00:05:21]

And if they don't, then also cool. But I'm not doing all of the strategies that people do to stay quote unquote relevant. And sometimes, you know, sometimes there's clear like evidence of that. Like, I have videos that don't do as well because there's something that like I just thought would be fun that isn't like a click beatable topic or even something that would be that interesting to most people.

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A good example would be my last video by the time the easiest of a new video. But my last video I made was this video about.

[00:05:56]

Playing games that were nostalgic, so, you know, Toontown Club Penguin and I knew when I was uploading this that this video wouldn't do that well, but I had a lot of fun filming it, so I didn't really care. And then, alas, I got all these comments being like, not a lot, but I got a few comments being like, God, this video got no views in comparison to Amma's other videos.

[00:06:16]

And I was like, is this really what people care about how many views my videos get? Because it doesn't really matter to me and I realized that it didn't matter to me that my last video didn't get as many views as normal, and I realized, oh my God, I may have outgrown the fear of irrelevancy phase of my life, because a year ago I would have seen that and been like, fuck. What am I doing wrong and now I'm like, I enjoyed making that video, so and, you know, a decent amount of people saw it still.

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And hopefully got to enjoy it, so. What's the harm in it? What's the harm in, you know, something not doing as well or even becoming irrelevant in the first place? What is really so bad about it, if that's the trajectory of how things go? There's nothing anybody can do about it.

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There's no reason to be scared about it. Like, it's just that might be the way that it goes. And I feel like I'm finally coming to terms with that. The thing that upsets me is seeing so many people being scared of becoming irrelevant and right before it becomes irrelevant, such a nasty, nasty word. I fucking hate that word. And it's used way too much in this space. And I think it's such a negative word and it's so degrading to the person that it's describing.

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And I really don't like the word, but I don't know what other word to use. So let me. Try to find another word. OK, I'm looking at words, and they're really sad, actually. The thesaurus definitions are synonyms as synonyms for a relevant. Include unimportant in unnecessary. That's so fucked up, the fact that people use the word irrelevant about creators on the Internet is basically calling them unimportant and unnecessary, according to the thesaurus thesaurus, including what the fuck?

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According to the thesaurus.

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Which is not true, every single person is on their own journey, you know, all of this has a different the journey is different. It looks different. It feels different, the experiences in it are different. Everybody has their own thing, so everybody has their own journey. So why are we so focused on, like who becomes irrelevant in thinking that that's the end of their lives?

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I remember a long time ago when, you know, I would notice that some people would kind of disappear and kind of stop doing the social media thing and they would just kind of go and live their own normal life.

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I'd be like God. I would almost feel bad, I was like, I hope that they're OK. Like, that's probably really tough on them, that they have to, like, go from this one life to another. Like, that is probably so weird. But now I'm kind of like, maybe it's not when you become a YouTube or you become a social media person, you believe that like once your dream comes true, which is like becoming a YouTube or becoming a social media person of some sort, you think like, oh my God, now that I have accomplished my dream like this needs to be on the rest of my life is because I finally accomplished my dream.

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Like, I can't let it go now. Like, this is it, this is what I've done, I need to make this work forever. No, you don't. No, you don't. Being on the Internet is actually it's amazing. Don't get me wrong, but it is so fucking tough mentally, which makes me kind of believe that when the universe is like, you know what? You're done, your time is up. This is not working for you anymore.

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It's a fucking sign from the universe that, like you've made your mark. And that you can go live a normal life now, in a sense, and a lot of people are like, why would you want that? Why would you want to live a normal life? Maybe some people are like, yeah, it makes sense. Honestly, I sometimes miss living a very normal life. Sometimes I'm like, I don't know.

[00:10:44]

I wish I just. Wouldn't have done this, you know what I mean? And I know a lot of other people that think the same thing. And then I remember, you know, obviously the connections that I've made with all of you and how important that is to me.

[00:10:58]

And hopefully the message I've been trying to spread since the day that I started this, not the day that I started this, took me some time to figure out what my core message was. But I remember, like, OK, my goal since day one was to hopefully.

[00:11:14]

Inspire people to just. Be them, be their true selves, and be unapologetic about it and to not be so worried about the superficial shit and just have fun and like be a good person, not take life too seriously, but also like whatever like that's been my whole thing since day one.

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I just have hope that I can inspire some other people to do that. And I've found that, you know, at least a handful of you have felt that from me. And that makes it worth it. You know what I mean? That makes it worth it. Whether it all goes away tomorrow and the whole Internet dies and shuts down. And I have to, you know, figure something else out or if, you know, I keep doing this for a few more years, whatever the case may be, I already am proud of that.

[00:12:04]

And I'm already happy with that. And like, I'm satisfied with that. And I feel like I've. Done that successfully, and now I'm like, well, you know, I care about this, I enjoy doing this, so I'm going to keep going. But if, you know, for some reason it stops working for whatever reason or whatever, that's OK.

[00:12:27]

I feel like I did what I was supposed to do and I'm going to, you know, continue to try to do that, but if it stops working, it stops working. And I have a life outside of all this. I have a life outside of the Internet to go to. I don't need the Internet to be happy. If anything, the Internet causes me a lot of stress and anxiety. As it does for probably all of you as well, whether you are on the Internet.

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And you're somebody who puts yourself out there or not, the Internet is a very tough place to be on right now, and it is in general, but especially right now, I'm not going to be too upset.

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When I'm, you know, 40 and I'm like, you know, what kind of dumb with the Internet and I think it's time for me to to hop out of here.

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I think that I actually crave the day when, you know, the Internet has nothing to do with my day to day life. And I can shut it off if I want. I can't really shut it off right now. I can do a certain extent, but and I can do whatever I fucking want. But I don't want to. I'm like, this is like my passion. This is like what I do, you know, like all of this.

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So I can't just turn everything off and delete the app.

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Like, I got to stay on there, see what's going on. You know, it's part of my job in a sense. So I, you know, have to be on it. But I do crave the day when I kind of get to turn that all off. Or at least the option seems more. I kind of have that option right? I don't think it's really going to be so bad, I think that most creators are dreading that day there, dreading the day when they have to turn their phone off and that they have to live in the real world.

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And I'm like, no, no, guys, everybody listen up. Listen up. It might be really nice. I think for me, the way that I've thought about it is that why not find the good in everything, right? So if being on the Internet comes with the fear of becoming, quote unquote, irrelevant, which I don't like that word, so every time I use it, just take it with a grain of salt because I just don't have another word to use.

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If being a YouTube or being on the Internet comes with the fear of being irrelevant. Why not almost come to terms with that and even kind of see how amazing that could even be? Right. Why dread something that might actually make sense at some point in your life, you know? I've come to terms with the fact that being on the Internet means that it might not last forever, and I've come to the I've kind of come to terms with that and I've kind of realized that that might not be so fucking bad and.

[00:15:25]

There's nothing I can do to control it except for go on the, you know, Internet post videos that I think are fun. People like them awesome. If they don't fuck with them, cool. That's also fine. I'll be OK. I don't need people to be interested in every single video I upload, like that's not anybody's job or whatever. That's also an unrealistic expectation, you know. So who cares? It's not that fucking deep. I just have noticed this thing that goes on on the Internet where people in order to, you know, try to stay on top, everybody is fighting to do the craziest thing.

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The most extravagant thing. And I mean, if you're passionate about doing extravagant and crazy things, I would say Mr. Beest is a good example.

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He's absolutely fucking killing it. He's a YouTube. But I think I truly believe that his passion is doing these extreme videos that are like I don't think that he's just doing it for attention. He I think it's an art form for him doing these super creative, super extravagant videos, you know, I want.

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Good morning to me, I guess I didn't expect to be awake at nine a.m., so my alarm just fucking went off. I think that he really has a passion for doing extravagant things, and I think that that's that combination of like him doing extreme click bait or not click bait. It's not like he's actually doing things extremely clickable things and also making the videos really entertaining and super well done. I mean, like, it's just an amazing formula. That's a perfect formula.

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But I do think that that's his passion. I think that comes from his heart. I don't think that he's just doing that, like because he was I mean, if he is, that's his fucking damn business.

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And it's none of my I'm just guessing like whatever. But then there's certain creators that and I'm not even bashing these people either. It's all their fucking grind, you know what I mean? Whatever you want to do, whatever feels right to you, it's none of my fucking business. And I'm just kind of commenting on it just because, you know, I'm not going to give any names for this side of it. But, you know, like whatever.

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Like, everybody is doing their thing. I'm not I'm not here to tell them to stop or tell them that, you know, whatever.

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But some people do things that are maybe a little bit more crazy, kind of because out of fear, I've noticed some people are like, I can't make videos that I want because I'm too scared that people aren't going to want to watch it. And I don't want to become. Quote, unquote, irrelevant. Instead of making things that they care about and you know, or even some people will make fake drama or they will.

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You know, create fake events of sorts in, you know. Or they'll like. You know, like they'll do things that aren't real. So that. People will talk about them. The thing is, I don't want to be talked about for things like drama. Or like making a really extreme video that is not something that I'm truly passionate about, like I don't want that, like, that doesn't make me feel good. Do you know what I mean?

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That's not what my channels about my channel from day one has just been me hanging out with the camera for like 10 to 20 minutes and then that's it. I don't want to start drama, I don't want to be a part of drama, I don't want to be part of fake drama, real drama, any of it.

[00:19:11]

Fuck all of that. Might touch on that in the set, because I actually want to get into that. But I also want to make videos that I enjoy making, and that means things that are. Kind of just simple, that's what I like, I don't I don't like to make things too complicated. My own Internet presence is not supposed to be some sort of extravagant thing. I don't that was never the plan. I didn't choose any of this.

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It just happened to me. I did what I enjoyed doing, which was making these fun little videos that were, you know, lighthearted and, you know, chill. And it wasn't it's never been that deep and it never will be that deep. I just like hanging out with you guys for, you know, whether it's on the podcast or it's all my videos.

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I don't care about it being some extravagant thing. I don't care about it getting on the Trayning page anyway. When it does, that's awesome. But like, I don't fucking care. Like, I don't care about, you know, if it goes fucking viral, I don't I don't care. That doesn't fucking matter to me. That's not why I started this. But it's really easy to get all wrapped up in that and be like, well, you know, if I'm if these things aren't happening to me, then I'm failing.

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No, that is not true. I am not failing.

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If my video doesn't make it on the fucking Trayning page, I don't care. None of that matters to me anymore. And I. I wish that I could just sit down with all of the YouTube ers in this space and be like, listen, that's this is not what this whole thing is about. Why did you start doing this? You know, how does making videos make you feel now? How you know, how is your life outside of all this?

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Do you have a life outside of all this? I know that there's a lot of YouTube words that do not, in their happiness, relies on the success of their channel, which I totally understand because I've been there. But I'm now over that. I'm like, no, fuck all of that. I'm not going to let this affect my emotions.

[00:21:13]

I'm not going to let you know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. Let's say my video gets on the trending page on YouTube. I'm not going to let that affect my mood any more. Then if it doesn't get on the training page, it doesn't fucking matter. It does not matter. It does not matter. None of that fucking matters to me if one person or 10 people or a thousand people or 10000 people, whatever, whatever, if they watch my video and they felt comforted and safe and felt like we were having a conversation one on one for even just ten minutes, I don't care what scale it's at.

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I enjoyed making it. Hopefully somebody felt a feeling of comfort when they were watching it. And I don't fucking care about the rest. I don't care about the whole superficial element of it. I don't care if it's on the trending page. I don't care if. If you know, I know YouTube as this new thing in the creators studio creators studios, like the app that like shows your analytics and stuff when you upload a video, I'll look at my last video.

[00:22:17]

It says. Less people are interested in this video than normal. It literally says that to me, I don't fucking care. I do not care. I don't care if doing collabs with people makes me makes my videos perform better. I don't care if.

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Me doing a video about this topic or that topic makes it, I don't care, I'm over it anyway. Sorry, that was very passionate.

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I don't care, and I really wish that I could have a conversation with every single fucking YouTube or social media person in general and be like, listen, the grass is always greener, you know, and.

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Be yourself. Be true to yourself, be honest with yourself, make things that you care about. And the rest will fall into place and happen as it will, and you don't have to fucking worry about it. You don't have to worry about doing crazy shit, you don't have to worry about. Anything, it doesn't matter. Period. If worse comes to worse and you know, all this one away for me, the Internet died. It all turned off time for Emma to figure out her life.

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I have a lot of interests outside of this. Where I'm like, you know what, I could make a career out of something else, whether it was opening a coffee shop or becoming a therapist, it's kind of like a dream I've always had. Or whatever, like. Life doesn't end when the Internet ends, when my phone turns off, my life doesn't end. I have fucking, you know, normal things that I think about and care about, I think about.

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Well, I mean, at my age, what girls think about it this age, clothes, boys and.

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Food. Hi, who can relate? It's like, OK, I'm a normal 19 year old girl, I think about literally those three things probably.

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And my cats, that's like four, that's literally probably all I think about. But it's like, oh, and I mean, obviously, you know, my friends and my family, but like, that's what I think about. That's where my mind's at. I don't like my brain doesn't think about the Internet, but I do kind of want to. Segway out of this into kind of a different area of this topic, let me have a little coffee break, though.

[00:24:56]

OK, so I'm going to kind of dive deeper into the side of like, why? Having your Internet career kind of. And maybe isn't such a bad thing and what I've kind of realized recently. I have a lot of really, really severe anxiety about my privacy. And the thing is, I never want to talk about this stuff, OK, because I don't want to come off as ungrateful because I'm exactly the opposite. I'm so fucking grateful for every single thing that's ever happened to me and for every single opportunity I've ever gotten and for the fact that I've been able to make connections with all of you guys.

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In whatever way that is, you know, whether it's by you watching my videos or listening to my podcast or watching my fucking take talks or following me on Instagram, one way or another, I've been able to connect with so many people and I've been able to do so many amazing things. And, you know, I went from, you know, being so, like, scared of how I was going to find a job that you know or, you know, make money from anything that I was passionate about.

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But that being my dream to like that dream coming true and me, you know, being able to, like, make my childhood dreams come true, of being able to, you know, live in a house one day that's always been a dream of mine. And that came true. And like, you know, being able to support myself financially after, you know, feeling guilt for years about relying on my parents financially because I didn't have a job because I was too young.

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But I always felt guilt about that. And I think that the greatest gift that this is given me is having a way to support myself. That also comes with such an amazing community and also allows me to do something that I enjoy doing anyway, which is make videos and make podcasts and things like that, and allow that to be how I make money like it's a dream come true. And I never want to take any attention away from that because I really am so fucking grateful.

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But there is a lot of things that come with it that are really fucking tough as there are with anything in life. And part of it that I'm struggling with right now is my privacy. It's it's crazy when.

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Everybody, not everybody fucking not everybody at all, but when you know, there's a large group of people that. Want to know about everything that you do, right, and I'm 19 years old. OK, so I do shit, I, I date people, I break up with people I. Have made mistakes. I've done things that maybe aren't like things that I'm necessarily proud of, as everybody is, you know, I've done crazy shit, I've done dumb shit, I've done smart things.

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I've done stupid things.

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I've done like everything. I'm a normal 19 year old. Like, I'm not perfect. I've, you know, made mistakes. I've like. Not like, you know, things that are crazy, but like normal mistakes, like when you're 19 years old, I'm not going to get into it, but you can imagine the things that you do when you're 19, right? It's like this is like my college age. So like I'm growing up, I'm figuring all this shit out.

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Right.

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And some things are fucking dumb. That I've done and I'm like, I'm learning every day, like I'm figuring this shit out. The thing is that's so scary about it is that, you know, and I think the thing that I struggle with most is that, like, I don't really have a lot of room.

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I feel like sometimes to be like figuring out this whole growing up thing, it's not very private for me. It's like I'm growing up in front of people, right? And so I'm figuring all this shit out in front of people. And if I like, I'll give an example. I'll give an example. This is not something that's happened, but I'm just going to give an example.

[00:29:16]

Let's say one night I went to a party and I was like, fuck it, I'm going to drink alcohol. Even though I'm not supposed to I'm underage, but like let's say I did that, let's say I got really fucking I got a little sloppy. And somebody takes a video of me and they post it. Like, I am going to be heavily judged for that, whereas if I was not on the Internet in any capacity and I did the exact same thing, I was in college.

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I went to a party, got drunk. Even though I wasn't supposed to and I got a little crazy. No one would really nobody would really know about it. You know what I mean? And it would kind of just be like. Nothing ever happened because nobody would really be caring about it, so that's kind of an example of like why it is tough, because it's like I think that a lot of people. Might forget that, like.

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People on the Internet are human, don't get me wrong, people on the Internet have a responsibility that is much different and they have, you know, to be a lot smarter about the things that they do, possibly because they are, you know, like some people, there's some people as role models and you know what I mean?

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Like so of course, there's that responsibility. But at the same time, everybody's human. So, like, these things still happen. And I think that that's I hold myself to this standard of being perfect. Emma, you cannot fuck up, you know what I mean, you cannot. You can't kiss the wrong guy, you can't do this, you can't do that, you can't, you know, be caught doing X, Y and Z like the whole thing.

[00:31:12]

And it does give me anxiety because I'm like, God, I need to be perfect. I need to be perfect, or else I'm going to let everyone down, you know what I mean? Not only people on the Internet that support me, but also people, my real life. I feel this constant need to be the fucking perfect person.

[00:31:29]

I am not, though. I'm not. I'm a normal teen girl, for fuck's sake, I do dumb things sometimes, never that hurt anybody. I don't do dumb things that hurt people. And if I do, it's a huge accident and I will fucking own up to that shit immediately.

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But like, you know, I do dumb normal shit that fucking people do like everybody else. But I feel this guilt about it that. Haunts me for sure, like if it's not even like the things I'm doing are done there probably or the things that I've done in the past are probably normal. But because I'm you know, I do what I do like, I feel guilt about them.

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I feel guilt about, like doing normal teen things. I'll give you a great example if I can come out and tell you something right now.

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I remember when I was in high school, I was at a concert. And I think I may have I think I, I think I may have kissed three guys in the same evening. I did an. I'm. Like, that's something that like I'm embarrassed of. Right, that's not against that's not with my. That doesn't align with my moral compass. OK, like, I don't feel very good about that. And like, if for some reason, like everybody found that I was like, I would be embarrassed, I mean, now I'm fucking telling everybody.

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So it's different now I'm in control, so I don't care. And I was also like 15. What I was enjoying myself. Let me I mean, yeah, it was funny because I was 15, but I literally looked like a newborn child because I was I went through puberty when I was 16, so I looked seven years old. But like, that's something that I've done that like that's an example of something dumb that I've done. I am normal.

[00:33:17]

I'm a normal fucking teen. Like I did shit like that. I continue to do shit like not shit like that, but like I continue to like. Do things that are like. Normal. Those things are normal, not for everybody, not everybody is going to do that, right, but like people do shit like that that's like against their moral code, like that's against my moral code. I don't know why I did it, and I know I was just like, fuck it, I guess like whatever, but like.

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I feel like I can I can there's less room for me to, like, you know, do dumb shit like that now. And like if I do do dumb shit like that, that's like against my moral code, I'm like, not only am I afraid of like. How I'm how I feel about it, right, like not only am I afraid of, like, my own opinion on something that I've done, I'm also concerned about, you know, what if more people find out about this and then I have an audience that's judging me for the dumb shit that I've done, dumb shit, meaning stuff that's harmless, right?

[00:34:25]

Me kissing three guys in one night when I'm 15 doesn't harm anyone. It's not in my best it's not my best moment, but it's not harming anyone, but I like Im concerned about every action that I do, even stuff that doesn't harm people because I'm like. I'm like growing up in front of everybody, and that includes the good, the bad and the ugly. And. That's kind of why I sometimes am like, you know, what, if this all went away, I don't want it to, but if it all went away, that pressure would be lifted.

[00:35:05]

Here's the thing. I'm trying to find a way for my to lift that pressure from myself to be like, am I it's OK to be a normal teen.

[00:35:13]

It's OK to fucking go to a party, it's OK to be a kid and like learn in like experience, like it's OK, like that's OK, you know, and that's normal in that's like not something that like most people probably wouldn't even frown upon it. Some people on the Internet might. Some people in my life might actually not in my life.

[00:35:35]

But it's not never been I've never I'm very transparent with the people in my life. So everybody knows about every single thing I do. Every single day I wake up and I breathe. And everybody all my family and friends know about it all. Like ten of them. Seven of them, Max, but like, you know. There are some things that I get to keep private and like that I get to I'm learning and going through as I'm growing up and I'm very excited.

[00:36:00]

I'm very excited for the day when I'm like 30 or maybe like twenty six. And I can just tell all the stories of all the dumb shit I'm doing right now and that I did when I was younger. And it'll be funny stories that will be far enough in the past where it will not be too fresh for me to tell the stories, but for now, I'm making the memories.

[00:36:26]

I'm growing up and being a teen and it scares me, but it's normal and that's what it is. And I need to stop being so hard on myself and being so fearful of, like, being a normal kid. So.

[00:36:45]

I don't know if any of that shit just made sense, but we have questions, so let me go through, find some questions. I ask questions about this topic and we're going to get into it.

[00:36:54]

So let me find some. God, you guys are asking the best questions about this. So many good ones. Let's get into it, question time, my tailbone hurts because I'm sitting on the ground, oh, my God. Oh, God, why does it hurt so bad? Somebody said, how do you continue to value yourself if you're being insulted on the Internet? I know that social media can be brutally honest thing and some people have no filter.

[00:37:23]

I think that for me, it's like muscle memory now, like I've learned how to just not care anymore and to talk to the people that are in my real life and get their opinions and talk through it with them and kind of just realize that, like, I have people in real life, you know, like I have a really amazing support system.

[00:37:46]

I have really good friends right now and, you know, small group of them.

[00:37:51]

But I have a really solid group of friends. And like, my parents are just amazing and my family is really amazing at supporting me. It took some time, but we're all on the same page now, I think. And so, you know, I think just. Listening to them and listening on my team, even I have a really amazing team that I'm really close with, that I that has helped me through this whole thing and they're just like, so amazing.

[00:38:19]

And like, I feel like they're my fucking guardian angels.

[00:38:21]

So I literally, like I have such an amazing support system that I don't let mean things on the Internet, bug me in general. But like, if it does bug me, like I don't let it bug me for long because I talk through with these people and they reassure me like Emma, I know you.

[00:38:41]

I know you're a good person. I know that you work hard and you care about what you do. It doesn't matter what people say because they don't know you. They do, but only as much as they can. They've never met you, you know what I mean? So don't sweat it.

[00:38:56]

And they're right. They're always right.

[00:38:58]

And so but now I've kind of gone to a place where I'm like, all right, you know, there's so many there's so many voices on the Internet.

[00:39:04]

I'm not going to let one or a few of them bug me because there's so many people that don't have the same opinion as the, say, hater, you know what I mean? It's not like everybody is a hater. There are people that like me and that like you don't feel the need to say things that are mean and unnecessary, like there are many of those. So I'm going to focus on those, focus on the people in my real life and, you know, check in with them and make sure that I'm on the right track and then I'm going to move forward and I don't really let it bug me.

[00:39:36]

It definitely doesn't affect how I value myself. I base my value on the type of friend I am, the type of person I am in real life, and how I treat people on a day to day basis. That is how I value myself if I'm being a good person and I'm treating other people with love and respect and I'm doing my best to be the best person I can be, that's how I value myself now has nothing to do with anything on any fucking screen.

[00:40:09]

That's shit is not even real, you know what I mean? It's not real life. So why would I be judging myself off of that. That's toxic movie on. Why do you think people become irrelevant on YouTube after a period of time where everyone loved them and now no one watches them anymore? I don't know. I don't know.

[00:40:28]

I think it can be multiple things. I think it can be, number one, that they they didn't necessarily evolve and they maybe stayed inside of a box of doing the same things over and over again. And people just got bored of it, even if that was still what they wanted to continue doing. People were just like, well, we've been seeing this for X amount of years, like. We're over it. I think that that can be part of it.

[00:40:53]

I think, you know, sometimes people just lose their their love for it and it shows, you know, I mean, even I've, like, gone in and out of love with YouTube, and sometimes it shows, you know what I mean? It happens. It's normal.

[00:41:06]

So but some people, it's like they grow out of it almost. They're like, God, I'm just like not into this anymore. Like, it's not my passion anymore. And but they're like, but I feel trapped. I feel like I have to keep doing it. So then they do. But then people are like, well, we can see that you don't really care about this anymore. And so then they're like, we're out, which some people.

[00:41:26]

Have said that about me, they're like, we don't feel like you care about this anymore, which I understand, but that's not true. It's more like with me, I'm just growing up. And so, like, my enthusiasm may seem a little different. Like I'm I'm kind of relaxed a lot like I'm not as I watch my videos. And I think I'm so fucking annoying as I was loud and, like, super enthusiastic and crazy. But that's just not who I am anymore.

[00:41:47]

Like, I'm an adult now. Like, I fuckin I don't have that energy that I had when I first started. That doesn't mean I'm not passionate about YouTube and that I don't love doing it. It just means that my demeanor may be a little bit different because I'm a fucking completely different person than I was when I started, you know. Next, do you fear that someone may be using you for views and to gain more relevance? Have you ever felt that?

[00:42:10]

Yes, absolutely. That is why I have literally let me count.

[00:42:15]

I maybe have five friends. Like Max, like Max, like on a good day, like I really don't have a lot of friends, my circle is really small. And it's just because. I don't want to be used and I don't. And I have been and I just don't want that to ever happen again, so either keep my relationship super private or. I have relationships with people that I know are. In it for the right reasons, but this is something I fear with like, you know, I hear this a lot when it comes to like there's so many things, you know, like when you fuckin grow up and you start a family.

[00:43:05]

Right. And you, like, get married.

[00:43:06]

It's like there's an added level of, like complicatedness, if you will, when you are worried, you're like God, like people do use me. Like, what if somebody fully just uses me, like even like marries me and uses me and like. I like the weight of it becomes a lot scarier when, you know, you start to make these big life decisions like who's going to be in your life for the rest of your life.

[00:43:33]

Ideally, like all of those things are 50 times scarier when you have that fear of being used and like. You know, before I was on the Internet, I would have been like, who fucking cares if you get used? Like, I don't know, like I would not have sympathized with this statement, but now I'm like, you know, and I even think about other people and I see other people on the Internet getting used and the whole thing is shitty.

[00:43:56]

That's kind of why I've decided that I prefer to just kind of do all this on my own.

[00:44:01]

Like I like doing my podcast by myself and I like making my videos primarily by myself sometimes when they really close friends, but mainly by myself, because, like, there's no risk of being used. I'm not I'm then not using anyone. Nobody has to worry about me using them. It's clear that I'm not using anyone because I'm not asking them to do things with me for my for this.

[00:44:26]

Like, I'm I keep those relationships really off the Internet so that nobody's worried about anybody being used and it's all just genuine. And then eventually maybe, you know, forces can be combined. But I'm kind of over like just, you know, working with people that I don't even really know that well to, you know, because it's like it could potentially be beneficial for everybody involved because that turns toxic.

[00:44:52]

Quick, let me tell you about that. So, like, I think it's better to just. I just I can't being used is the worst feeling. There's nothing worse and like that actually affects how I value myself and my self-esteem really badly. And so I found that, like, avoiding that at all costs is the best option for me.

[00:45:12]

Somebody said, do you fear being forgotten? No, I don't anymore. I mean, do I want to be forgotten? No, I would hope that, you know, some people would remember me if one day I decide I'm out of the Internet and I'm like, now I'm out of here. I'm not going to do this anymore.

[00:45:26]

I would hope that at least a few people remember me and are like, you know, I really got something out of her videos. And I thought she was cool. I mean, I'd love that, but there's nothing I can do. I can't control how I'm remembered or if I'm forgotten, I can't do anything about it. So I would hope that I had a good impact on some of you and like, whatever. But there's nothing I can do.

[00:45:50]

There's nothing I can do to control that. So it's like, why why spend time worrying about something that you cannot control? But I do my best on a day to day basis. And as I continue to do all this to hopefully, you know, impact people and the best way possible. And, you know, but what happens next, happens next.

[00:46:08]

And there's nothing I can do. Somebody said, do you think there's a way to avoid becoming irrelevant? I don't know. I mean, I think, yeah, if you want to, I think some people cause drama and stuff like that because that is an immediate way to, you know, it's an immediate way to kind of get shit fired up again. But do you really want to do that? You know, like at what cost? I fear drama with every bone in my body, I hate it, it's my least favorite fucking thing on this planet, so I would rather just let nature take its course in, like, you know, not.

[00:46:48]

You know, sell my soul to the YouTube devil. To not become irrelevant, I'd rather like I if it happens, it happens, there's literally nothing I can do. Next, somebody said to relevant people, pretend to not know less relevant people on purpose. I think that does exist in this community, there's a lot of shit like that, I would what the fuck? I mean, that's just disgusting and gross. I hope not. I mean, like, I, I know that that happens, but, like, that's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[00:47:19]

Like, who fucking cares? What does someone being relevant have to fucking do with anything. It's so not important. It's so not important. I just think it's so dumb. God, it's such a toxic. Way of thinking, and that's why I wanted to talk about in this episode, because, like, it's such a toxic mindset in so many people are stuck in it. And I can't even blame them because you know what? It is really hard to see through.

[00:47:52]

The matrix of the of the YouTube community, of the fucking illusion of being on the Internet, it's really hard to see through it. And so I get it. I can't even blame people for, you know, thinking the way that they do. It's not good and it's toxic, but also like. It's pretty hard to snap out of it. It's like being in the Matrix and once you realize that none of this really matters and that, like, you know, what really matters is like what's actually happening in the real world with your two feet on the ground.

[00:48:21]

It's like taking a red pill you see through it. But not everybody takes the red pill, the YouTube red pill. Of The Matrix, the YouTube matrix, I hope this is a good metaphor. But, yeah, not everybody sees it and so and sees through it, and can you blame them? It's almost easier not to. I don't actually that's not true, I think it's easier for you if you see through it, but if you see through it, then it's kind of dark and it's kind of upsetting and it can be kind of scary and I don't know.

[00:48:51]

But whatever.

[00:48:53]

Moving on. Somebody said, how do you feel about cancel culture or do you think it's toxic or is it necessary? I think that this kind of relates to what I was talking about earlier, you know? Everybody is a human, we're all human here. OK? I think that. Sometimes things get taken a little bit too far with cancer culture, and sometimes a line is crossed. I think that. There's something to be said. For. Holding people accountable for their mistakes.

[00:49:34]

I think that that is important. But I think that. The way that the Internet goes about it right now is really. It's a little bit. Two, it can sometimes be a little bit harsh. And a little bit. Not helpful, right, like, I think that there's a balance. It is a case by case basis. I think with some situations it's like, you know, somebody gets confronted and then they address it.

[00:50:07]

Now, like, I'm so sorry, I've learned and I'm moving forward and I hope that you guys move forward with me.

[00:50:11]

And it can be a positive thing.

[00:50:15]

I think it can be a really positive thing if everybody does the right thing.

[00:50:20]

Right. That meaning that like somebody, you know, realizes that they've made a mistake and they and they truly change and they truly learn from it and. Everything you know can.

[00:50:36]

Return back to normal and be positive, and that person had learned, and I think that can be a really good thing, but I think that, you know, there's some things that are some people think are unforgivable and that's OK, because whatever everybody's entitled to their own opinion, I think when it gets too crazy is when there's death threats or there's intense bullying and hatred, even after the person has tried to make amends.

[00:51:12]

Because I think that, you know, people can be angry, right? People can be angry. People can do what the fuck they want, period. But I think that with some scenarios, some people are like, I fucked up and I'm really sorry, but.

[00:51:26]

You know, people continue to harass them about it.

[00:51:30]

The thing is, I think that the way it needs to go is that like once somebody says, hey, listen, I'm sorry, like, I truly did not mean X, Y and Z, and I am different now.

[00:51:42]

I think that people usually deserve a chance.

[00:51:46]

I think that sometimes there's things that are just like fucking I don't know, it is a case by case basis.

[00:51:51]

But I think a lot of times people have learned, you know, and people have whatever. And it goes back to like everybody makes mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. OK, I don't think that people shouldn't be held accountable for them, but I think that people should be given a chance to try and. Make it better and prove that they've changed, and I think that a lot of these people wouldn't have learned the lessons that they've learned or wouldn't learn the lessons that they have learned through these experiences without having, you know, it be broadcasted on the whole Internet.

[00:52:24]

But I also think that what people need to understand is that, like, everybody is human and everybody fucks up sometimes.

[00:52:31]

Right. And so, you know, it's this balance of holding people accountable and. Educating people. But also. Being open minded to like this person might have needed to learn their lesson and they might learn it and they probably will, most people who, you know, get canceled learn a great deal from it and truly. Either are more careful and won't, you know, accidentally will be more sensitive and more thoughtful to things moving forward, if it was something that they did on accident or if it was something they did on purpose, that was a mistake.

[00:53:12]

They're going to change the whole way that they think about everything. I don't think that this stuff like doesn't change these people's lives, you know?

[00:53:21]

I mean, even me, I've been you know, I've been confronted on things that I've done that have, you know. Been insensitive and I have learned from them and apologized and, you know, and now I know and I'm and I'm grateful and I'm grateful that I was held accountable. And I'm definitely going to think about things so much differently moving forward. I just think that it's a balance and I think that people most of the time. Are excited to change and become better people and keep doing what they love and whatever, and I think that a lot of people do deserve to be given that chance to prove that they're different.

[00:54:03]

And that they have learned, I think, that that's important, I think why not give everybody a chance most of the time? I mean, obviously, there's certain things that are just kind of like.

[00:54:13]

You just you know, but for majority of things that I think are going on in the Internet, I think that, you know, everybody's learning and growing in front of an audience and things are going to go wrong.

[00:54:25]

It's inevitable.

[00:54:26]

So, you know, to each their own and, you know, as as a viewer or whatever, as a fan, you know, you can decide what you do next, whether you want to support them or not.

[00:54:39]

And that's up to you, you know. But there's nothing wrong with giving somebody another chance and with giving somebody a chance to. To learn and. Become a better person. I think that's a beautiful thing. Although it is, you know, it can be quite overwhelming and crazy and scary when instead of having your parents be like, hey, you you messed up here, you did something wrong, you need to fix that.

[00:55:06]

It's, you know, the Internet and it can be crazy.

[00:55:10]

Next, somebody said, do you have other careers or backups you could fall back on if YouTube stopped working out? For sure.

[00:55:17]

I mean, I you know, I'm really passionate about coffee and I love podcasting.

[00:55:24]

Even if people still, you know, wanted to listen to that. And I love. And I still love making YouTube videos, I mean, even if, like, for some reason, the only way I think right now anyway, in this present moment I'd stop making YouTube videos is if the if.

[00:55:40]

YouTube got banned from the United States, similar to take talk, I heard tech stocks getting banned. That's like the only way that I right now, I mean, obviously I'm not going to probably do YouTube when I'm 80 years old.

[00:55:49]

Maybe, but who knows? But, you know, I have a lot of other things that I'm interested in and. I think coffee being the main one, I am so passionate about that and like learning more about that and just yeah, you know, I have some exciting things coming with Chamberlain coffee that are really exciting.

[00:56:06]

So I try to, you know, keep my excitement and my passions, not all my eggs in one basket.

[00:56:13]

I like to have my eggs in many baskets so that I'm excited about many different things and all of that.

[00:56:20]

Somebody said, if your YouTube views are lower than usual, do you question your relevance? I don't, to be honest. I'm like, you know what? YouTube is such a fast moving place that if I decided, like, it's not like it can't just like, let's say one video doesn't do well. Your next video might do better than any other video you've ever uploaded. It's not like, you know, it. It's all like so relative and it all like it fluctuates so much that, like, you can't be hung up on one video.

[00:56:49]

You just keep moving forward and you keep making videos and you keep loving what you do. And like, that's that, you know what I mean? You can't be hung up on one thing. It'll fucking paralyze you so that you can't keep going. It'll make you stop because you'll just be too obsessed with every single little thing. Last question to answer. Do you think there's an equilibrium point between being irrelevant and being really relevant? Yes, yes, for sure.

[00:57:20]

I think that there's a point. Where? Somebody may have had their. Had a big moment where they were kind of a huge topic of convo and then things kind of settled down right where it's like. Just the people that really, really love and care about the creator are the ones that are watching, not like everyone, because they are not like it's everyone. But like I think that there's a balance, like sometimes. There's, you know, a lot of craters hit a point where like.

[00:57:56]

They might be like a big topic of convo for a little bit, maybe it's for a year, maybe it's for a few months, and then things kind of settle down naturally and people move on to someone else that they're like.

[00:58:07]

That is kind of the focus of the Internet at the moment.

[00:58:10]

I think that it's actually better to not be that person that everybody's like. That's kind of, you know, maybe up and coming or whatever.

[00:58:20]

I think it's almost better once things kind of settle down and you kind of just have your people who fuck with you and that you fuck with them and that it's it's fun, happy community and things are kind of settled down. I almost think that's better. And that is something that affects views and that is something that maybe affects likes or something. But I think it's healthier because it's not like you have all these people that don't even necessarily care about you watching you.

[00:58:47]

It's like things end up settling down and you just have the people that really love and care about you watching you and the other people kind of got weeded out. Right. And I think that that's not a bad thing.

[00:58:56]

A lot of people fear that time. I don't I think that that's the most beautiful time of being on the Internet when you get to make whatever you want, have fun. You know, people are watching that care and the other people kind of disappeared and they don't care anymore. And those were probably, you know, the people that were the haters anyway.

[00:59:16]

And it kind of all settles down. And it's actually maybe something that's kind of healthy. And there's a balance. And some people might consider that to be irrelevant. But I think that's just, you know, finding your core people that fuck with you and like that you vibe with whatever and like making shit for them and then watching it and it being fun.

[00:59:34]

You know, I love that. I think that that's an amazing time. I don't think that that's being irrelevant or whatever. Fuck that word in general and. I don't think there's anything to fear. I think it's actually probably the healthiest way to be on the Internet is to instead of being this almost viral moment, like being like, you know, on the Internet comfortably with people that, you know, like what you make and whatever, and being this comfortable, happy thing, I think it's amazing.

[01:00:01]

And I don't think I think even if it affects the views or affects the likes or affects, you know, how many people are talking about you, who gives a fuck? It's a lot healthier and it is probably a lot more positive. It is a lot more positive.

[01:00:15]

So any who that's enough for today. I'm out of here. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. It felt really good to talk about this. I think it's something that's so important to talk about. And I hope that if you are a creator and you're listening to this, that maybe this gave you some peace of mind so that you can sleep at night for once.

[01:00:39]

I know that us, we aren't sleeping, so I know it, you know, and I think being on the Internet right now is crazy. And it's it's a crazy time and it's in everybody's learning and everybody's growing. And it's like it's almost like a great awakening. And I feel like everybody is like it's weird. It's weird and it's crazy.

[01:00:58]

But I think that, you know, there's a lot of learning and a lot of growing that everybody's doing. And I think that although it's scary, I think it's important. And I think that in order for the Internet to be fun and light hearted. Again, one day. You know, times like this need to happen in so. That's that, um, I love you all so much. Thank you guys for listening to me every week. Thank you to the ones that watch my videos and to that just support me in general.

[01:01:28]

I appreciate you more than you know.

[01:01:30]

And you guys are fucking awesome and you're savages in a good way, like, you know, like Megan Sallyanne saying Savage, you know.

[01:01:41]

All right, I'm gonna stop. I need to get out of here. I also kind of have to poop a little bit. So anyway, that is why I was actually going to answer more questions. But I actually have to poop, so I am out of here. I love you all so much. Have the best day. Have the best week. Put your phone down for a little bit today. Maybe it's for two hours. Maybe it's for the rest of the day.

[01:01:59]

Put your damn phone down, log off live in the real world for a minute. It will help with your anxiety, I promise. I'm going to do the same peace out, y'all.