Hey, guys, it's Joe Sanegaddo from the Basement Yard Podcast. And I just have one question for you. Do you want a free chance at winning millions of dollars? Of course you do. And now with jackpot. Com, you can order lottery tickets right from your phone. With jackpot. Com, you don't need to worry about standing in line at the Bodega while some old person counts their exact change, you could do it all from the jackpot. Com lottery app. All you have to do is download the app, choose the game, and pick your lucky numbers. Someone from Queens just won $476,000,000 in April playing Mega Millions. So that could be you. Many millions of dollars in lottery prizes have been won on this app, and I'm going to hook you up big time. Use the code Joe for a free ticket on the jackpot. Com lottery app. That's right, a free chance at winning millions when you use the code Joe. So go download the app to get started. And if you win big, don't forget about old Uncle Joey here. Good luck.

We're doing.

A casino run.

We're doing a bunch of new dates in the New Year 2024. Where do we go, Bob? We go.

To Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Then?

Bad Friends.

Then Salt Lake City. Bad Friends.

Bad Friends. Tameculah, California. -cyclyc? -livreyn. -rino, Nevada.

Sacramento. Sacramento. Long Beach.

Long Beach. Winter, Ontario.

-winsor, Ontario. Niagara Falls. Tucson, Arizona. -las Vegas, Nevada.

-las Vegas, Nevada. April 20th.

Then Las Vegas, Nevada.

Go to badfriendspod. Com for the tickets. Badfriendspod. Com for the tickets. We have merch. Go to badfriendsmerch. Com, where you can get the shirt, that beanie, this beautiful mug. Patreon. Go to patron as well if you want the ad-free episodes and bonus content, patron. Com/badfriends. You two are bad friends. For these two are bad friends.

You two are bad friends.

You two are bad friends. You two are disgusting.

You two are disgusting.

You two are something. We're bad friends.

Santa Claus. Santa Claus. We're a little Filipino Elves. No. Santa Claus. Santa Claus.

I heard... Dude, this is crazy, dude. I was in Hawaii once, dude. Yeah.

Aloha.

I was at an ABC store.

Aloha. And I.

Heard, Frosty the snowman over the speakers, Aloha. Wow. Frosty hates Hawaii. Don't play that song.

Why would he hate Hawaii?

Because it's his enemy. The environment is the worst environment in Hawaii for a snowman.

No, dude, he's made of Teflon.

He's not made of snow? No, dude. He's Teflon man?

Teflon man.

I think he's made of snow. I'm sorry.

To-thank you so much, Dave.

I think he's made of snow. Really?

Frosty the snow. Even today? I think so. I think it's okay. Even likepost-Trump, you think you still.

Made of snow?

Yeah, dude, still.

Yeah, he can't just change who he is.

Yeah, that's right. You can't just change who you are. That's right.

You're born exactly how you are. Well, it's.

Just like me saying I'm made out of rock now. I'm not.

I'm human. Right. For someone that's homophobic or racist, they can never change. They're going to be that way forever.

I'm that too.

Bad friends welcome.

Welcome to Mary.

Our guest is beautiful, sexy, Santa Stavros.

Hello, everyone. Stavvy is the best, dude. I just want to also say before I get... I'm going to get it, so don't forget, I don't forget, right?

Happy holidays to you. Happy Hanukkah. Hanukkah and all the Chakak. Happy Christmas. Happy Chakakhan.

Chakakhan.

Chakakhan.

I saw a movie last night.

Napoleon?

No, just check it out, okay? Gozillow, minus one! Oh, my God! It blew my mind.

That was good. It was awesome. I've seen.

It too. Did it.

Blow your mind?

I cried. I got scared.

It's that good.

Oh, my God. I was riveting. Gold to zero, minus one. Did you get.

Scared because it reminded you of your childhood when Godzillow destroyed your village?

Yeah, I did. But he was a baby, Godzillow. Oh, shit.

So he walked in. He warmed up.

And he went to my dad. What was your favorite part? Wait, wait, wait.

He fucked.

Your dad? When he was a baby.

And.

Then my dad, in his penis, a blue light shot out. Because out of his mouth to Godzill's mouth, it was all electrified cum. I know, dude.

That's.

Crazy.

And then that's how I'm here. How old is your favorite part of Godzill?

Wait, you think you got here... You think Godzill disseminated your dad's ass and you were born out of his ass. Yeah, I did. That's how it works. But you just said you witnessed this.

I know. I turned around when I came out. Oh, wow. I turned around, I go, Whoa, I'm here. It happened.

That fast? Yeah. Wow. I think.

Therefore I am, Descartes. Anyway, can I say something? That's what I thought.

You're deep today.

Let me say something about it. I know we don't do movie reviews on the show often. I didn't know that. This is not.

A movie review show. We talk about movies all the time.

I know, but this time we're doing it, too. I want to say something. You've seen so many Christina movies, no?

I haven't seen that many.

Well, how many Godzilla movies have you seen?

I've seen two. I've seen a really old one and the newest one with.

Fucking-brian Cranston?

-brian Cranston. -that's all I've seen, is the original and this one.

-that's crazy. The Bryan Cranston one.

Yeah, the first one I saw and then the one that's new to us.

No, there's two other ones on top of that.

But the first one that came back from, you know what I mean?

Yeah, the Bryan Cranston one. That was a very good one.

It was good. There was that one scene where everybody's got parachute.

Yeah, that's the coolest scene. That's the.

Coolest scene I've seen in Hawaii. -right, Hawaii. -it was in Hawaii. Anyway, may I finish my review, please? Please. God damn it. -please. -okay.

I've seen all of them. -box Office Homo.

Yeah. Yeah. I admit it.

Not your new podcast?

And I'm not timed.

Bobby Lee, the Box Office Homo. Yeah. Where you just come through. It's a.

New.

Training pod. I'm going to say not Box Office Mojo. Just Box Office Homo.

Number one, this is the first Godzillow movie I've ever seen where the story is riveting. Okay. You could take Godzillow out of it, and it would be a cool old-school.

Miramax movie. Why didn't they then?

When you say old school Miramax, you mean when Weinstein was.

Running loose? Hell, yeah, dude. When the Harv Dog was mad.

At you. It feels like a rapist had his hands all over.

This thing. It feels.

Like that. It was a rape vibe to it. It was the first movie where I was really moved by the story where I literally cried. No. Yeah. Really? Yeah, I was sitting next to Jean. Why did you cry?

What made.

You cry? The ending. It was so touching.

No.

Spoilies. No spoilies. I looked at Jean and Jean had tears in his eyes. Wow. Is was crying, too. Number two is the first Christina movie. This is my last thing I'm.

Going to say. Can I make a joke real quick? Go ahead. When you guys cry.

You know what?

What shape comes out? What? Not a teardrop, but the shape comes out. No, it's.

Like a line.

It's.

Just a line? Yeah, lines come down.

Like Tetrus Pieces.

All right, go ahead.

I thought you were going to say, I cried in joy because so many Japanese people died.

Well, that's part of it.

Revent. Revent.

Okay, so-Godzill is Korean..

I'm just kidding.

That's.

Yes. He is Korean.

Yes. This is the first Coach. This is the first Coach movie where I saw where I was literally scared of it.

Okay, because I will say that. The original one, what year would you say it was? 2014? 2014?

What do you mean, the- The latest of.

The series. The newest of the series.

Yeah.

2014. Wait, this is a series? It's not.

A fresh reboot? I don't know how to describe it. You know what I'm.

Trying to-Here's what happened, all right? Please. Hollywood is coming out with the Christina from the Cranston, right?

They're going to do a sequel of that one.

It's already made. It's already made. But Japan went, Oh, we could we do one, two. Hollywood is like, Wow, go get it. You created it, so go ahead. We are only going to use $15 million to do.

Really?

It's a $100 million movie looking $15 million movie.

Get the fuck out of.

Here, really?

Yeah. $15 million? $15 million. I'm telling you, dude, when Godzillah is chasing things and when he appears, you get scared. You're like, Sick. You have that feeling of fear.

Because that other one did not... The Godzillah was awful, dude. The movie... The movie was good, but the Godzillah itself was whack. He was.

Only-.

They did.

Like a Jurassic Park, like this is a T-Rex.

Right. Just didn't look cool.

I don't like the idea that Godzillah has relations with humans.

He was barely in the movie.

That Godzillah was-Well, because they needed to keep it like that. They tried to do that like the Jaws thing with like, What if we only show it when we need to? Then when they showed it, you were so unimpressed. You were like, Maybe you shouldn't have showed it. It would have been rad if I almost never saw it. But in the new one, is Christina played by a human?

Yeah. In the Hollywood version of Gonzilla, he'll identify something like a little girl. It'll go, Hello, or whatever, right? But this Godzilla is like this beast. It doesn't have empathy or it's just like a crazy...

It's just.

A being. It's a being. Huh? Makes sense. Yeah, he's also not eating people. He's just using his mouth to rip them apart.

God.

Dude. It's so good. We got to take his microphone. I know.

What did you say?

I didn't even know what to say. It's like a dinosaur.

It's like a dinosaur.

How are you Italian now? Yeah. It's like a dinosaur. Yeah, I.

Love it. Anyway, I would give this movie a A.

You heard it here from Box Office Homo, A.

Whoa, dude, you gave it an A?

It was.

A flat A.

When you watch a movie like El Mariachi, you know how that was made for $10,000? Yeah. Yeah. And you watched the execution and you go, Wow, you can make a movie for 10 grand.

You can't, but- You can. You cannot.

I mean, they did.

Yeah. Yeah, but you can't.

Robert.

Rodriguez? This is like an anomaly. You can't do that. You can't even find a rental equipment for fucking $10,000.

No, what Robert Rodriguez is this one shot, one take, let's move on. I know, dude.

He does everything. By the way, you know what that really means is that everyone got screwed.

Oh, that.

No one got paid. There's no residuals. No editors, no one.

Got paid. Max was like, I got one pesa this year from.

Fucking a Mariachi. Did you see what he gave us? He just.

Does plane fly over.

But yeah, it was great, and I really highly encourage you saw it. What do you rate it? I think it was one of the best ones I've seen. It's the best Puzzle move I've ever seen. I'll say.

That right now. I love it. Well, let's welcome back, by the way.

Stavros.

Give him a round of applause. Welcome, Stav, to the pod.

Yeah, we're talking about my nips.

The Greek God. Hey, is our sexy, sober, Reindir right there? Is this our sexy, sober, reindeer? Hey, guys. Hey, man, how are you? I'm doing all right. Do you want to talk about anything? Let's talk about it. If you want to.

Well, can we let people know what happened first? Well, that's why I just asked him. Give it to Stavros. First give him the thing, and then he'll say.

Tell Stavros. No, I want him to tell the story. Please, about the airport. Well, that's the story, wouldn't it be?

Well, there's the weekend.

Before, too. Right, but let's just get let's cut the fat.

What happened.

At the airport?

Yeah, thank you. Let me just do a pre and then he's going to go for it.

We're going to-What? Check out Fat Rascal on Netflix, by the way, folks.

Before we get too far. We just.

Want to get that before we fucking covered Christina for some reason. You can ask me how I'm doing. All right, sorry. Bobby just launched into an unplanned solo movie review.

That's.

Pretty much this entire show. This fucking guy did something at the airport. We're going to talk about that for 15 minutes. Before we do that, check out Fat Rascal and everything. And then buy a calendar.

Buy a calendar? Yeah.

I'll look through the calendar. The calendar is hot. I have it right here. Please support the fat rascal, the Greek god himself.

That's right. But anyway, I apologize.

No, don't, because you know what? We usually do cover that before the show starts, but you decided to change up the format, and I think that's smart. Nice. Usually, we don't try to plug people shit in the middle of the.

Show because it ruins it. Well, you did that on Tiger Belly, too. I liked it.

No, you should do that. But Pili, please go watch one of our closest, and I mean this if I want to be genuine, one of my favorite comedians to watch genuinely one of our closest friends, go watch Fat Rascal on Netflix right now and share it and send it all over. Now back to The Sad, Sober, Reindeer.

Let me just do an epilog.

Yeah.

Prelog. I mean, prelog. What's epilog at then? That's at the end? Yeah. Prelog then. Sorry. All right.

You could write his epilog right now.

If.

You'd like.

Stop. On the road, we were going to Wisconsin and Minnesota. That's right. I'm at the airport. I'm at my gate. Bright and early. Bright and early, ready to go. Then I get emergency texts. I'm saying something about paramedics and something about Carlos is dead, dying, throwing up blood, and all this. I just get on the plane. I don't care. I'm texting like, What the fuck is going on? And apparently, he didn't make it. Then you posted photos of you in a wheelchair. In a wheelchair, which is fucking gross. -what the fuck?

-lunatic. -lunatic. -it's videotaping myself.

He's videotaping himself in the ER. That's crazy. He's that guy. You remember that girl that got COVID that died of COVID? She was one of the first people she would document the whole thing. She's like, Not doing too well. She died of it. This guy in a wheelchair being rolled around and he's got the phone up and he's winking at the phone in the ER.

They were not happy about that either. They were like, Not me. They did.

Not want to-Yeah, they didn't want to be in your shit. All right, so explain what happened.

I was leaving TSA pre-check.

Well, this happened at the airport.

What the fuck? Exactly a week ago, actually. I'm leaving TSA. I'm starting to get all bloody and I'm starting to get light headed and stuff, and I try and find a wall to lean against. Damn, dude. I fall into the wall and as I'm falling, I throw up everywhere.

What the fuck? Lean against the wall. You just heard your husband died in Vietnam. You were like, lose. Say it again.

What really happened?

I never even got to lean against the wall. I fell.

Into it. You just fell. It's like that movie, Contagent, like a sleep from that. Like something-What.

The fuck? -puked all over the place.

Yeah, someone slipped on my puke.

All.

Right. Imagine running late to a fucking flight and some asshole throws up and you're like, What?

Like a.

Fucking.

Banana peel. He's also at the club, right? He's at.

The-he's at the United Lounge or whatever?

The Lounge where a lot of the rich people are.

Yeah, to the Delta Lounge. They took me there. They got me like, banana, stuff like that.

That's a way to get into the Delta Lounge, by the way. Fake being sick. Make yourself throw up. They'll go get youtake you in there.

They wouldn't medically clear me to fly, though.

Now, did you do anything bad that morning? Were you a bad boy that morning?

Maybe nights.

Before I left.

Nights before. What did you do?

Just some drinkies.

Nothing else?

No. The cops actually showed up and asked.

Me about that. If you were on something?

Yeah. They're like, No diet pills? I was like, No.

Diet pills? Well, that's a comment about your weight.

Yeah, well, that's.

A nice comment. They could tell you. Are you shredding? Yeah. But like-He weighs like 30 pounds.

Yeah.

It's insane. They asked me if I was on anything else. I was like, No, I'm afraid of fentanyl.

I don't do Coke anymore, obviously.

Which is something I did say this week to someone.

Saying too much.

Yeah.

It was bad. They said I almost had a stroke and they took my blood pressure and it was through.

The roof. Do you think drugs and alcohol is connected to it? Be honest.

Yes. Okay. What drugs? What are we doing now, do we think?

Now for a while, I'm going to.

Take a break. No, this Wednesday- He's ready for Vegas. -this Wednesday. You're back on Wednesday from Vegas, right?

You're coming back on.

Wednesday, right? I have my meeting at noon.

Yeah.

You're going. You're going to go to the meeting. I think.

It's time.

What meeting is this? Sober.

Oh.

Wow. You're going to be in the same meeting.

You're going to- Wait, so you were just so hungover you threw up at.

An airport? Stavros. This guy spent what would be the entirety of this year on tour, raging. Really? And I mean, raging.

What's his job? What do you do on tour?

That's a very good question.

We don't even know.

Explain it to us. You're the one who was partying? Yeah. These are the fucking guys bringing everyone in. He's sober. We can plug in a couple of microphones and then do fucking... And then start doing fucking jäger shots. That's fucking awesome.

Yeah, we need him around more because Stavros is balancing out the cat. We pay this guy to come on the road. I don't know. He's a producer on the show.

Yeah, how.

Many producers? He's a vital entity. But Bobby said to me, This is it. It's over. It's done.

I didn't say that. You said that first.

What?

Yeah, you were like, This is it.

I can give you the text. I said, This has got to be the end. Yeah. And then I said, Yeah. And you said, I'll take him to rehab. I mean, I'll take him to the meeting.

I said, Well, I mean, it's only if you want. I mean, I can't.

Force you to go. No, I'm forcing you to go.

You can't force. Do you want to go.

This is crazy to say, but I was literally going to text you this week about this stuff. But then at the last second, I didn't.

You got to go. It was hard for me. That's what happens. That's what happens when an addict embarrasses himself. Yeah, I actually was just about to fix this. Sorry I missed work. I got so fucked up. I missed work, which I don't even do that much at any way. It's hard. Once I drink.

Things happen.

It's.

Hard.

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What did you do with McCone? The week before? Yeah, what did you do? I sent.

You.

Those. Did you just text me?

I sent them to you a few weeks ago.

I mean, I ran through the hotel naked.

What the fuck? Show them.

Carlos blacked out and was in the hotel.

Just.

Being a menace.

We.

Make these two guys share room. Right, right, right. You have to. And everybody else gets their own room except for these two guys. I will say this, the beauty is the stories that come about from this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, by the way, the boys know we're going to Vegas for our 200th episode. Wow. And they're also sharing a room there. Of course. Yeah, they don't have. Let's play the video full screen it, please.

Let's say he.

Was going to bed. Pause it. Hold on, hold on. Pause it. Set the clip up. Go ahead.

Yeah. Wow, that's Craig. He was laying down.

In his bed.

The screaming and muttering.

And.

Then I was like, All right, I'm going to go down.

There's still some people from the venue in the.

Locker hanging out.

That's baby Godzilla. Remember I said, Oh, my God. That's baby.

Godzilla right there.

That's the guy who fucked your dad's ass. He looks like an old Japanese guy right here.

I know. Look at him.

Who? Carlos. But then I did some footsteps.

Quickly running down the hallway.

After me. He's chasing you naked here. Let's take.

A look. Wow.

What the fuck? What are we doing? Giggling. Just covering his cock. What are you do?

Go back to the room, dude. Go back to the room.

There it goes.

What the fuck? I feel like they're boring, though, they are. Yeah. I would like you to go back to the room.

It's right there.

See, this means he was sober to do this because he's covering his dick. But if he's truly drunk, he's going, this is performative.

That's a very good- Whoa.

You're a fucking detective, dude.

-yeah, dude. Break this one down. And then-Break this.

One down. -you hear a fucking thing again. You hear a far. You have to go.

To bed. Go to bed.

Don't do.

It and go.

To bed.

He did. He hit it three times. It didn't go off.

You're going to bed.

That's awesome.

You're going to.

Literally get a fucking arrested. Were you drunk, Tumacon?

Oh, yeah. Just fucking shitfaced. Both of these idiots.

I didn't feel looking for a new producer, Stabberous. Yeah, yeah. I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.

Do you ever fantasize about fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? When I watch that movie, I go, I get that mayhem and lunacy. It's a fantasy of mine. Do you have that? Yeah.

But you-Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry. You're just getting fucked up at all these tour stops, running around naked. Is there other ways you're embarrassing yourself? Are you trying to get pussy at this? Are you failing at that?

You do a lot of things. Yeah, and.

I don't realize that they're crazy. It's the reality. It's a surprise to me that it's crazy.

Come on, man. Your hairline, those are revelations for a man with a full hairline. How fucking old are you? I feel. You know what I mean? That's a 20-year-old kid says that. You're fucking old as shit. You look like shit. You can't be drunk as fuck and be like, I don't even know. It's bad. Pulled my dick out at work.

And then.

Four.

Drinks later, I'm nuts.

Yeah, dude. How many years have you been doing this?

I met him in AA. They were.

Sober together. What the fuck?

Twenty years ago, I was at a meeting. I saw him. We became friends. So I met him.

Twenty years ago, you had quit drinking 20 years ago, and now you're like, I don't even know what it's like to be drunk.

What.

The fuck are you talking about, dude? That's fucking ridiculous.

You called me out. But I want to be serious real quick for a second, okay? What you have to do is you have to look ahead in your life and go, if this lifestyle continues, inevitably it's going to end up here, right? Hopefully you can nip it before it gets there. Because whatI'm seeing is a guy who's going to get there.

I.

Know. When you get there, you might lose.

A lot. I know.

You could lose your health. You can lose a lot of things.

This is literally the only job you're qualified for.

You might...

You are so fucked if these guys get tired of you. I know. I'm aware of that.

I'm very aware of that. Dude, I know it's crazy. He hit me and was like, I'm so sad I can't be there. I'm sorry. I was very supportive. I called you every day and I was like, Hey, man, I just want you to get healthy. He's like, No, I should be there. Then at some point, I'm like, Is this because you're not going to get paid because you're not coming? Is that what this is about? Oh, really? Yeah. That is. No, you don't get paid. No, he wants to get paid for the days he was off. You go to the hospital, you don't get paid, man.

I wasn't asking for money. I was just sad I wasn't there with my bro.

Hey. Yeah.

And the show's went fine.

Without.

You. I'm interested. I think that it was easier without him? Yeah. No problems and no one fucking diarrhea on the poor bust. Wow.

Wow. Wednesday, I'll see you Wednesday.

I'm happy that you're leveling out. I will say that. I told you, you said you feel better. I'm glad you feel better. We need to get you to a good place before anything bad happens. What about Vegas? You're not going to Vegas. It's not allowed?

No. You should be in.

Time out. Yeah, you're in time out. He's not going? No.

Okay, who's going?

All of us but him. Okay. Yeah. But that's how life's got to be. We don't have a choice, man. Am I wrong? What the fuck are we going to do? You guys.

Have been too lean. I don't even know this motherfucker, and I know you've been too nice.

To him.

This is fucking crazy.

We need to have us around for every episode because he knows that the balance. We're fucking up. You and I, we're letting.

Too much slide.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of.

Course you are. You fucking are so drunk he misses work. And you guys are like, Hey, man, this is getting weird. You're on notice, pal. The hotel.

Stuff was at 4:00 in the morning.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

My God. This guy.

That's all right. Never mind. It's all right.

I take it back. We should take this to Judge Joe Brown, one of those TV judge shows to see if he's- Ms. Pat. Ms. Pat. Oh, Miss Pat. Oh, Ms. Pat. Do we shoulddo this on Miss Pat. Yeah, we have to do Miss Pat. What's your case? I lose. Yeah, you.

Will lose. It's like what Bobby said. I'm here because of.

The history. Here by.

The grace of Bob. By the grace of Bob. By the grace of the Bob. Yeah, that's nepotism at its finest. You want to talk about nepotism in Hollywood? This guy, sticking around. That's awesome. But we love you. I'm happy that you're getting healthy. Yes, thank you. Have you been working out?

I mean, I'm eating well.

Okay, that's not the same thing.

I'm eating sweetgreen.

Okay. Are you plugging Sweetgreen right now?

No, it's just healthy.

Yeah, you're eating salads? Yeah.

Okay. I'm sorry. What is the history? Just quickly. How did you guys meet?

Well.

He did stand-up.

He used to do stand-up.

Okay. I met at... I met him in A, and then I would see him at the comedy store. He hung out with the same group. Got you.

And then- Wait for a while.

Then he quit like a coward. But they.

Became a writer. I would say his quitting.

Was very successful. But then he worked with Apartau, did some Apartau stuff, and then he's just around. Then he got into the podcast and now he's here. But he's got, that's how he has history. That's cute.

The history is, yeah, he was a part of the comedy community and we knew each other.

For years. That's not that much to be honest with you. I thought he saved your life. No. This is an acquaintance from 10 years ago. He just gets to fucking... He gets away with all this bullshit.

This is crazy. Let's go back to the holidays.

Okay, Merry Christmas.

But we love Christmas. I do want to say that I love you and I want you to be good and feel good. Thank you. Whatever that means, we need to get there.

Okay. I have a question for everybody. May I? Please. To change... Did you celebrate Christmas growing up, Star Rose? I did, of course. The Greeks do that?

The Greeks do it, yes.

I mean, do they have different festivities that they do or no?

No, pretty much. I mean, we don't really give that much of a fuck about Christmas. New Year's is people's... That's when they give presents in Greece. They give.

Presents on New Year's.

In Greece, but we're...

But your mom didn't do that?

They tried and we were like, Come on, what.

The fuck? Just give us the fucking present. See, I agree with the Greeks on this one. I think all that bullshit from Christmas could go just at the end of the year and it should be one big celebration. Yeah, because here was my thing about Christmas as a kid. If anybody had a birthday in your family around it, that was always fucking weird and annoying.

Yeah, but that doesn't get solved. If your birthday is on fucking December 31st.

Yeah, but no. Then you did all three things at once. New Year's your birthday and Christmas. Sounds bad. You don't like it? No, you got a space. It's only because I don't believe in New Year's. When people are like, We're going out for New Year's. It's a thing. After you did it one time as a.

Young-you know you need three. Because at New Year's, if you get all... You want to just get socks.

Some people do just.

Get socks. I know, but I'm just saying if I get socks for my birthday, I can tell my parents I go, For Christmas? This ain't happening.

Well, this is privilege. Some people only can get.

Socks, buddy. But to summarize, yes.

Yes, you did it. We can celebrate Christmas. Yes, you did it. Everybody does. You know the actor, Richard Kind? You know Richard Kind. I love him. Of course. He's the man. I saw him at a Christmas party last night, and he comes up to me, and I give him a big hug. I love seeing him. I said, Happy Hanukkah. It's the second day or whatever. He was like, Oh, please. It's trash. I was like, Why? What's wrong with Hanukkah? He goes, Oh, you want to compare? Do you want to compare? A man dies and everybody celebrates that moment for the rest of time as the beginning of time. For the rest of time, you celebrate this man. A man comes in your house, you get gifts and people and party. We were just counting the days left of oil. Yeah. That's our holiday. It was a stretch. Yeah. He was like, That's fun. No, thank you. Merry Christmas. I was like.

All right. I believe Greeks were the villain in the Hanukkah story. Really? I think it was Greeks versus some the Mccobes or some shit.

The Mccobes? I had a.

Type of Jews and I had a.

Type of war-It sounds like a sit-com on-I swear to God.

The Mccobes.

The Mccobes, yeah. Sheila is in trouble again.

I think that's a style of.

Ancient-the Mccobes? -person of Jew.

The Mccobie?

Really? I believe so. Hanukkah stories. I looked this up, your literal only job. I looked this up, Maccobee. The name Mccobie was a title of honor given to Judas, the son of Matthias, and the hero of the Jewish Wars of Independence, 168, 164. It's so funny when time went down. How fucking dope is that? It's going down. They don't even know it. Later that name, Maccobes was extended to include his whole family, specifically Matthias, his father, Judas, his four brothers.

Okay, I think that's a type of Jew.

The.

Maccobes.

A style of Jew. A vibe of Jews.

But I do think they beat the Greeks, which I don't like.

Did the Maccobes beat the Greeks? That's something we definitely need to know. They got a button. No, they said they had a bunch of... The history is with the rebellions of the Jews, according to that. The Maccobes destroyed Greek altars in the villages, forcibly circumcised boys, burnt villages, and drove Hellenized Jews off their land. So dude, honestly-Fuck the Mcabees. No, no, no. I agree with random circumstances. Yeah, dude. I don't know. You got to grab someone that you see if they have a little fucking snout. You got to.

Clip the snout.

No, dude, fuck that. As an adult, you get circumcised. Does that hurt?

Of course. Bobby, if I cut your penis right now, would it hurt?

If I'm in a hospital probably, now they put anesthesia.

But afterwards. No, no, no. Would it hurt if your penis got cut in any way, shape or form?

If they numbed it? No. When the numbing goes.

Away, would it hurt? Yes, it would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so answer your own question.

Okay, yeah.

You're right. Penis, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it's still going to hurt that they clip your cock. That's why they do it when you're a kid because.

You-it doesn't hurt then?

Well, that's how the trauma starts. They say that's where all the trauma begins.

Oh, I see.

It's fucked up to do that to babies.

It's crazy to cut a.

Baby dick.

Leave that baby's dick alone.

Leave the baby's dick alone. That's what I'm saying. Fuck the Maccobes.

-yeah. Go watch Fat Rascal right now on Netflix.

Leave that baby dick alone, boy.

Random circumcision in the streets is insane. -wow. It's fucked up. Grab people's kids and circumcise them. -yeah. -that's insane. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. You can't be doing that. By the way, you lost. They were so good. They circumcised all the boys and still won. That's crazy good.

They were taking the in the middle of a war. You're just taking a little break to cut a little.

Boy's people out. You're showing off. All right, real fast. But be gentle and delicate. And they.

Got arrows. And then Sondra Bullock shows up and puts on our face.

This is still good. This is still good. That's lunacy. I didn't know what the Mccobie is, baby. I think so. No, we just learned. Well, they fucked.

You guys up. Well, they did, unfortunately.

Give us a piece of Greek Christmas tradition or holiday tradition.

A song. Maybe sing us a.

Greek song. What's a Greek tradition? A Greek tradition. For during the holiday season? Is there some Greek shit that we need to know?

I don't know. I want to apologize. My mom, I wanted to bring you cookies.

You know I'm pissed off.

You didn't when I-My mom had her hip replaced and.

She was-Oh.

Really, dude? -taking cookies.

Did she get a new hip? Yeah. Then give me some new fucking cookies. Still, they're still-No, dude.

-the hip is still a little tender.

I talked about the treats that you brought from your mother on this show for weeks. Yeah, I'm sorry. I liked it so much.

It's going to have to wait. Wait, I.

Never saw cookies that day.

Yes, you did. Yeah, you did, dude.

We ate.

Them in front of you. You ate We ate them on the show.

Oh, they were so good.

They were.

Really good. But yeah, I don't know that we have any.

Like-you guys don't do anything specific.

Not really. Not really. There's nothing super.

What do the Koreans do?

Do you guys do your parents? My parents do shit. Really? But you celebrated. We got one tree. We got one tree. We got one tree. When I was six. That tree stood in our living room for four years. It wasn't a plastic. It was one of those real trees. It died? It died. My mom would hang squid on it. To dry. To dry. To dry. And socks to dry. Then one day, if I get there, We never do again. We finally got it out, and we never did it again.

The origin story of Square Game was born. You want to know how to suck? You got to get test of Square. Yeah. You owe us money, Netflix. And then.

My parents would just give us cash. I told.

You that. Yeah, that's the weirdest thing. His parents wouldn't give him gifts. They would just hand him money.

That's crazy. And now we go get weed.

Yeah. It's the best. By the way, speaking of quick transition, I just saw you have to look this up. That girl, that one squid game, the woman, they did a real squid game. Yes, yes, yes. They haven't paid her a dime. What? There's a whole article about it. This woman says they didn't give her any of the money that she... Look at that. Square Game, the challenge winner says she hasn't received $4.56 million 10 months after she won. What the fuck? A calendar year, almost. She hasn't received a dime. That's crazy. By the way, 4.6 million, and they didn't give her shit. She's not getting shit.

Why?

I think they're going to fight this somehow and say something. You could read in the article deeper about it, but she says she's fighting for them to give her money on time. I'm sure they've worked out some deal in the contract where it's like, We pay you over a certain amount of time. There's no way they hand you a check for four fucking million bucks. You go win on Wheel of Fortune or something like that? Yeah. It's not like that either. They have to take out taxes and fees and all this bullshit.

They let you choose you want to get sucked off by Van der White or you want the money?

I'd rather have Pat. All right, Pete. I don't know. I think he died. No, he died. Really? Google Pat Sajak and if he passed away. Is he the.

Pat Sajak in hell right now.

I mean, after all the good God work he did on that show. 77 years ago, he's alive. He's alive. I'm so sorry, man. Oh, you know what I'm doing? What? Not for long. No, it's what? Not for long now. No, it's what? I know we kill people on the show. Do you know that? Really? Dude, we've done it like 10 times. What the fuck? I'm thinking of what's his name, Jeopardy. That's my bad. -oh, yeah. -that's my bad. -truex. -pat Stajak. That's a guy we just been talking about.

Fuck. -my Barker.

-yeah, that's Keith.

-he's also dead.

-my Barker has been dead as hell. No, dude, Jeopardy is fucking-Trabek. -trabek. Alex, Trabek. All right, P. Dude, if Pat's hijack dies now, I'm going to be so fucked up. I did that, didn't I?

Yeah. Let's talk about something we want to die. Yeah, exactly. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah, good, good.

Who do we want to die? Bobby's dad already.

He said your dad.

But he's gone. How about Jeffrey Daumer's dad? No. He died last week.

Did he? Yeah. All right, Pete. God bless. What was.

His dad like?

He was a good father. Good guy, yeah. Real good father. Dr. Squatch. You guys, years ago I switched to Dr. Squatch. I'll tell you why. It's so good. The smell's on it, it makes me smell just like a real forest man.

A forest man, if.

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That's AirUp. Link/badfriends to save up to 40 % today. Wow. I mean, dude, he showed up by his sonside, went to every trial, and did all that. Dude, if my son, would you ever talk to him again? What? If your son ate a bunch of black people, would you.

Visit him and stuff? Well, I'd want to know what they.

Tasted like. Yeah, for your recipe book. But my point is that- No, I would- -I'd.

Be so ashamed. -of course not. That's insane. I would cut off all communication. Your son. I changed my name and I would pretend like I never knew them. If I would pretend like that person never... Because then everyone always points at you. Remember how crazy the Columbine lady was? The mother who was like, she was Dylan's mom or one of the... Who, which one? Sue? Yeah, Sue Kleibold. She was like-I don't remember her at all then. Dude, it was such a crazy story. She was so adamant about being the face and the representation of her son's legacy. She tried diligently to be like, This is not us. It's not on us. It got to be on you. Dude, it's the parent. It's always got to be.

The parent. It's actually video games in.

Marilyn Manson. Yeah, 100%. You remember that? When they were like, Marilyn Manson is.

Forcing kids. Then he did-and.

Then he did some fucked up shit. -and then he did some.

Fucked up shit. -yeah, years later. -kind of a Weinstein-style guy.

He did.

Turned out. Which is one of the most... Oh, yeah, of course.

Yeah, of course.

What were we thinking? A dungeon that he's women. Right. I mean, he looks exactly like he would.

That's who he is. Yeah.

There were signs like, Jeffrey, he had animal bones.

I'm back to-What's.

So funny?

-big JD fan over here.

Really? It's so crazy. Animal bones. You know what I mean? And bringing carcasses back. What would you say to that? Your son. I'm your son and I have a bag.

Oh, and you have a bunch of animal bones?

Well, I don't know. I'm coming out of the forest.

What's in the bag, little Bobby?

Oh, my stepdad. Hi, John. Hi, John. Hi, dad.

Yeah, I'm just picking you up for the weekend. Yeah, I know.

What's up? What's in the bag, bud? Oh, just toys. John and I want to know what's in the bag. Show us what's.

In the bag.

No, toys. My toys. Legos. Show me right now.

Hey, don't talk to him like that.

Thank you, John.

Ask him nicely.

Let me tell you something, John. I let you fuck my wife. You're not going to fuck my wife.

That's.

How it started. This is.

Why I'm fucked up. It started as a cuck situation. Then I dict her down so good.

She came over to me.

Yeah? Yeah. Maybe if you fucking talk to him nice, he wouldn't be fucking gay. But now he's gay.

You're gay? Yeah. Yeah, I'm gay.

I caught him looking at my dick and licking his lips. I licked his lips. And he's gay, dick. What? He didn't lick my lips. Yeah, I licked my dig and licked.

My-sounds like he licked your lips, John.

I'm.

Calling Child Protective Services.

Anyway, see you guys later.

All right. We let him get away then? Yeah. The two dads fight. That's how he kept getting away with murdering people. The two dads.

Were fighting. Yeah, go back outside, little Bob.

What do you say?

You know what? I would take you on a journey somewhere, and I would leave you somewhere. I would take you to the woods and.

Just-but no, you're right, Bob. The second he starts fucking killing animals-Yeah. -that's the key. -it's like.

Let's figure this out. Let's figure this out.

Yeah, you go to They say the animal thing is the original thing that gets people the like, because they want to do something to humans, but they don't have the balls. They do it to an animal thing. If I can get away with this. Yeah.

It's like that document, Don't Fuck With Cats, when that….

-it's.

So close. I know, Luke. Luca. -i don't remember. That's his name. The videos they showed in the document where he's.

Torturing, I.

Can't.

Watch it. It's fucking wild.

It's fucking wild then.

It's loopy that he recorded it. It's weird when all these people record their crimes. That's got to be the weirdest part of all of it. They just turn on a video camera. That's the guy, right?

Yeah, Luca. You might want to watch it. -what's his last name? Malaka or Luca?

Luca Magliada? Magna.

Magna.

He's dead, right?

No, he's in prison.

Really? Yeah. They even killed that guy about that? Yeah. I saw Derek Chavan got stabbed again.

I know. On Black Friday.

Yeah, that's such a good day to do it. Yeah. I mean, if you're going to do it.

Yeah.

Absolutely. What happens to him on Cyber Monday is the real question.

Somebody beats him to death with a keyboard.

I mean, how does that happen? I phone shoved up Derek Chauvin's ass on.

Cyber Monday. He's at lunch and he gets... How does that happen?

Well, I haven't been to prison, but I imagine they coordinate the fuck out of him. But your dad gave.

You some bedtime stories.

Which I read them up. They usually stab them when they're in Gen population. If they're somewhere where there's others like eating lunch or out at the yard, that's usually when they get... But also I watched- You've.

Got stabbing opportunities.

Well, I've watched these prison shows enough. They do a lot of like when they're just in a common area, depending on their level of being in trouble. I watched one of these max security prison ones. It's in an octagon and they sit in the middle of round tables and they're allowed to chill until they tell them back in the cell to hit the buzzer and then they go back in. There's just a community chill time when they're playing chess. There's time to chill. There's stab. That's stab opportunity because their cells are open. They can go get shit, go bring them in. Also that's where I see them force people into the cell to check them down. -you watch them. -check their paperwork. Yeah, you check their paperwork.

Make sure if they're a Chavan or not.

When they found out about Chavan, every opportunity they couldn't wait.

To get to know each other. Why is he even... If I was him, I would just be in my.

Cell the whole time.

I had to post to me at my meals.

I would have called Hillary Clinton to take me out.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Well, she took on Epstein.

I mean, fuck.

I would have called her and been like, Hilldog, you got to.

Snap me one.

Can the cameras turn off? Yeah.

But if you guys think if you're Derek Chauvin, whatever the fuck his name is.

Yeah.

I think I said that wrong. You got to immediately just become a white supremacist and jail. Hundred %. It's like those guys are going to support you. You're like a.

Hero to them. You got to shave the head, get the swastika immediately. That's the move. I would get it before I went in. 100%. Right on my face.

The swastika right on my face. You have to just be like, All right, well... You got to do it, dude. I lost. I guess I got to stop pretending I wasn't racist. You got me. I'll put the swastika on my head and I'm going to fucking jail.

Imagine Derek Chauvin going shopping before he goes away. He's like, I'm going to get.

Some stuff. He's on eBay looking for SS uniform. Let me get some cool vintage Nazi stuff.

If I went to prison, there was no Asian gang. Which gang do you think I should join?

There is an Asian gang in jail.

But what's that there.

Was a Latino. I show up.

I have to be Mexican. You have to be Mexican.

You have to be Mexican.

You think Mexican?

Because some of our fans mistake you for Mexican. I've had a bunch of people be like, Bobby, you're not Mexican at all. Really? You're some Mexican.

Wait, because I look like Chitmarin.

You do? Yeah. I think so. That's weird.

So Mexican.

I go. You can't go with the white.

Where would you go? Where would I go? Because you're not a White supremacist.

There's no way. In prison, I am. What the fuck are you talking about?

You're telling me the YTS only have white supremacy group. Yeah. What the fuck? There's not another.

Group like a Christian group? Like a Christian gang? No.

Do you think there's like a fucking Kumbaya click in prison? Yeah. No, dude.

There's got to be a click that's not the violence. You're either with.

The black gang, with the fucking white supremacist, or you're with the Mexicans.

He's white supremacist, too.

No. What is he? No, he's black.

Oh, he's black.

As they say in the culture, he's invited to the cookout. I'm invited to the cookout. I am on the outside, but on the inside, got to go with white supremacy.

I got to go with the Mexicans.

Because of how pale I am, they're going to get me.

I would get fucking the tattoos on my eyeballs.

Yeah. Oh, wow. What would they say? What would it say in.

Your eyeballs? No, it's all one color.

What? Yes. What are you.

Talking about? They get tattoos on their eyeballs and turn it to a specific color. What? Really? Yeah, eyeball tattoos.

Oh, shit. What the fuck? They look like demons, bro.

You know how much that hurts?

Well, it's on your fucking eyeball. I imagine taking out of contact irritates people. Dude, that's loopy. They can't-They're through their.

Fucking eyeball.

-eyeball. So the YTS of their eyes, they changed a different color. Yeah.

I would main yellow and I would look like I have jaundis.

Is that a baby? They didn't do it to a baby.

I think it's a fat Filipino.

Wow!

Look at that.

That's a baby.

Look at that.

That.

Sucks. It's so crazy. Lunacy. But the ones in the MS-13, some of them are going to go blind because they do it wrong. They think it's infected.

Oh, gang members accidentally.

Do it. Giving themselves prison, eyeballhead. That goes wrong sometimes. Hey, Doug.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, did you sanitize? I don't want an infiction player. God damn. Yeah. The Arian brotherhood, the Nazi Low Riders. Oh, I could be a part of the Nazi low riders.

Give me some.

More kicks and give me.

Some more. Even Nazis do cultural appropriation. They're just doing low riding for fucking the game. They're Nazis.

Nazi low riders. The public enemy number one is a white street gang. Dirty white boys. Oh, there's a lot for me to choose from. Yeah, dirty.

White boys. I don't know if.

I'm a DWP. Yeah, I think you.

Are, dude. What else?

European Kindred. Too much narrative there. Arian Circle, which is tight if you've seen some of their stuff. Oh, DMI, the Dead Man Incorporated.

That sounds cool, dude. I like that because it says predominantly white, so there's maybe a.

Little-yeah, see, that's the one.

I want to be.

It's inclusive. Oh, and Baltimore. That's yours.

I think if I had to choose... Now look, I would like to say that I could not have to join a white supremacist gang, but it would be nice to be able to do one that mixes it up a.

Little bit. I would like the Simon City Royals. That would be me. Predominantly white street prison gang established in Chicago, so that's mine. I'm a Simon City Royal. You're part of the Dead Man, Incor.

Let's not claim that. I don't want these guys in.

The comments.

Calling us- Oh, yeah, I just realized.

We're.

Just saying... Yeah. If we want to.

If we want to. Oh, my God. I've just realized what we've done. Yeah, we.

Can't be like, Yeah, we're actually in a gang. No, we're not doing anything for it.

No. Okay, so Bobby, where's the Asian gang? Can I just say something?

They're not even listed here. When you guys go and join that white supremacy group, you can change it from the inside.

If somebody.

Says the N-word, you go, I'm.

African-american, please. You think there's a board? What? You think there's a board and they have meetings?

Yeah, and you could just slowly, through time, change. Well, here.

You could be the Asian boys, also known as the ABCs or the AB26 or.

Abc Crips.

That's fun. That's here in Southern California. Founded in the 1980s to protect Cambodia refugees.

Cambodia.

They're the most violent gangs in the world.

Yeah, they're crazy. Cambodia is crazy.

I mean, they got their shit fucked up. Henry Kissinger in hell right now. He's sucking on Hitler's dick.

Did we wish that one? Did we fuck off Kissinger on that film? Oh, yeah. We did that, huh?

Yeah. I mean, that piece of shit, that's just proof that there is no-.

Go ahead and.

Say it. Yeah, I agree. -like God or anything good. It's like he's a war criminal that lived to 100 and everybody just was like... Everyone was like, Yeah, he just gets... It was fatt as shit, and he looked like shit. -yeah, he got.

Pussy too. -pool pot. They let him live in a village. He had a bunch of wives, had kids. He just died out his days.

-yeah.

-he died chilling. There's no karma. Every slave owner died an awesome life. They died in a fucking-In.

A.

Rocking chair. -in a breathable fabric, in a rocking chair, having a mint juleb. There's no karma.

Well, I say goodbye to my land. This could be you, the tiny.

Rascal gang. That's it. I feel good.

Or simply just the rascals, the predominantly ethnically Cambodia gang based in Long Beach, California.

Yeah, dude. That's where I'm going to join the.

Tiny rascal. We should close this by saying we respect all of these gangs, everyone in it, and we want no trouble. We are just talking on.

A show here. That's right. Fuck 12, the.

Cops are the bad guys. Fuck 12 for sure. You guys are cool. Stab, shoving again. Yeah. Yeah. Stab them again, baby.

Let's make that motherfucker look like a.

Pin.

Cushion. Do you guys believe there's.

No karma? Mlk Day is coming up. You did Black Friday. Now let's do MLK. Let's go, baby. He's back. Let's stab him for MLK Day.

Say, are you.

Believing karma? I don't think.

It's real. I think portionally karma has its things. I think it dulls itself out in different ways.

Like in what way?

If you're Pol Pot, you kill three and a half million people. There's no justice in the world. You die your later with pussy.

Yeah.

And then what?

Where's the karma? He stubbed his toe real hard one time. I see. No, I don't think there was like... There is no such thing as an eye for an eye. It's like that doesn't tell you-What.

Does karma mean then?

People believe in universal justice as if the universe is going to give you back what you did to it, good or bad.

Potentially, maybe in another life.

The sum of persons actions in this and previous states of existence viewed as deciding their fate and future existences. Now, this is the part that I get hippie dippy on because I do believe we've done a thousand lives. I think you've lived a thousand lives. I do think maybe your manifestation in this life is perhaps an amalgamation of what you did before. It doesn't mean if you were bad then, you're good now. I just think all of these things collect together to make this thing, and then it'll happen.

Again and again and again. Yeah, if it's real, Pol Pot is a guy getting fucked in the ass in prison right now. Yeah. You know what I mean? Maybe it's almost like your Delta status. It's like the year before, how many flights you took. It's like, oh, I'm Platinum. I was a really good guy. I'm a.

Platinum guy. Then they changed their policy and they're like, Sorry, you're gold again.

Yeah. What if karma works where it's like the reward is you get to be evil one time? What if you had a really awesome life, you did nothing but charity and then it's like, All right, now you get to be a fucking pole pot. Kill whoever you want.

That's like-So his evil is actually a reward for being good.

He worked in the soup kitchen for three lives in a row or something. Wow. He was like a monk.

For three lives. He was sweeping shit in the streets of London, and he had to pick it up with his hands. Yeah, exactly. There's a thing I heard about this that New York elevated, elevated, Brownstones was because of all the fucking horse shit everywhere. They did want to build houses at ground level for weather reasons and also for all the fucking shit in the streets. They had to get their shit off their body and shoes because they walked through tons of shit. The horse is shit all over the place.

That.

Makes sense. Yeah. You go to New York now and there's no more horses shitting all the place, but it still smells like it sometimes. Now there's human shit. Yeah, human shit. It's unbelievable.

I heard San Francisco is bad.

Listen-.

I haven't been.

There, but- I feel like people have been saying this for so long now. They're like, Oh, it's what? Is it really bad. We went up there. We were up in the Bay. Who? I had a good time. I was up there doing shows. We were up there. Weren't we in the bay together? No, we never did that. Oh, we didn't. Oh, you skipped it. I went up there by myself. I had a fun. It's fine. It doesn't feel like people... People sound like it's like the apocalyptic. There's homeless people there. Same here. We have it here. It's the same chaos. I didn't feel like it was as wild as people made it out to be.

Yeah, it was bad, but it's not like fucking people just trying to make it.

Their roots. It's bad here. -dressed in the streets. I guess we live in the shit.

Our own right-wing people who go, Look how bad LA is, and they should take a photo of the mission. This is LA. It's like, Bitch, that's not Beverly Hills. I mean, there's areas. This city is huge. Studio City. Although they did light.

Our freeway on fire, which is impressive. Do you not know this? No. They shut down the 10 freeway because a woman lit it on fire.

I saw a dead guy yesterday.

Oh, give it up. Let's give it up.

You guys saw a dead guy. Two days ago, me and Jean saw a dead guy. Where?

On Western. What? Did you do anything?

No, we drove by. We caught traffic.

Are you sure he's dead?

He was dead dead. How do you know? Because the paramedics and they just left him there. No one touched him. No, good. And he was.

Just-there you go.

Are paramedics were there?

Yeah. Wait, stop, stop, stop. I thought you said stop. Sorry. I'm sorry. What's up, man?

Oh, no. What happened? No, dude, he wants to fight you now.

You're questioning my story?

I was wondering.

I thought-What's up, bro? What's good?

Shit, I just remember the tiny Asian boy thing. Am I being checked by a Cambodian right now?

What's the meaning of this, friend?

Just a follow-up question. Yeah? Yeah, I take, rescinded.

No, don't rescinded. Fight for your right. Fight for.

Your right to stop. I don't care that much, honestly. I was just going to ask him for a look. How fucking dead was the guy? Was his head cut off?

No, we just drove by. We just, I mean, Jean and I were like, I think he's dead. Because no one touched him, I think people were weeping. Yeah, it was a whole thing.

I was walking home from a show in Hollywood Boulevard. This just reminded me of so wild. I was walking west on Hollywood and a woman came quickly up to me and was like, Hey, can you come help me? I was like, What? If you live in a city, when someone's like, Can you help me? Oh, yeah.

I just had to let one fly.

So good. When you live in a city, when someone goes, Can I help you? You always go, Maybe. What is it? She's like, This man, this man, something's wrong. There's an apartment complex right there, and there's a little inlet where the gate would be to go to the garage. You know what I'm talking about when you go there? She's like, Please come, come. I go over there and she looks like, Well to do. I was like, What is this? She must not know this guy. This dude was clearly overdosing or something of that. I mean, dude, it was real bad. Damn. He was whiter than me and he was just like... I could tell he was choked up and he was super out of it and he was ODing. Of course, I'm like-.

Put him.

Out of his misery. Yeah, I kicked him in the neck. I just had to stop him in the neck. What are you going to do, dude?

You're running late. What did you do?

Dude, immediately I was like, Did you call the cops? She was like, No. I'm like, What the fuck are you waiting for? Call the ambulance. She's like, Okay, okay. She was panicked. I was like, Do you know this man? She's like, No, I live here and I saw him. I was like, Get out of here. I'll do it. I called-You called the-You called?

Yes. And you stayed?

No. Dude, I had a... I was trying to go through. Oh, I see. No, I stayed there until a crowd fucking formed and then I got the fuck out of it.

He was pitching a game show on the Roku channel. He couldn't fucking stand it.

Yeah, I had a Tooby pitch later that day. Wow. Until a crowd started to form around, people were all standing there doing that. You know what's funny about when something bad and then everyone crowds around who will do nothing to help? But they just want to stare at them. A crowd gathered and I literally started to walk home. I was like, Fuck this. I mean, the cop-What's the crowd gathered? What am I going to do? Also, the cops are going to come or they're not going to come. In L. A, they're not going to come. They're not coming. My car has been broken into. My wife's been robbed, pushed down to the ground, robbed. The cops have never.

Come once. Not even come.

I've called the cop. I hit a guy with my car. I told that story on the show. I hit a man with my fucking vehicle. Cops never came. I waited there for two hours. Two hours cops never came. The guy left, by the way. The guy I hit with my car. I told the story. It was wild, though. They were fucked up. I could tell they were on some shit. He had a backpack and his boy was like, Let's go. I'm like, Dude, give me your information. He's like, Get the fuck out of here, man. Leave me alone. I'm like, Bro, if something happens, what if you have a brain bleed, you die, I'm fucked. Because you're gone and it's as if I left the scene. I stayed there, stayed there, stayed there. Cops never came. I called multiple times. We already said a unit is on its way, sir. That's what they said. That's awesome, dude. Dude, L. A, the cops aren't coming. They're not coming. Don't call them. They're not coming. You know where.

They are?

The Grove. They're at.

The Grove. Last night, I had a movie. Six of them, they're nice guys and I talked to them. I had my coffee with them. We're talking about it. But I'm like, Why so many cops? He's like, Well, Apple Store.

Yeah, people rob an Apple Store.

I guess that's happening now.

People are just- The mob robbing?

Yeah, groups of people are coming.

And carrying shit out. Been going on, dude. Smash and grab. Smash and grab. In L. A, I think it hits the news every fucking day. Go to the news.

Go to the news. We still have community in this country.

Yeah, this is nice. At least they like gathering. Yeah.

That's also like... Even when people watch... Some guy passed out, people milling around. As useless as it is, it's such a human thing.

To be near it.

Just to be in the village of some fucking... You know what I mean? If somebody fell... If somebody got kicked in the head by a donkey, people would just mill around. That would be what they do all day.

Well.

Imagine, dude. That's awesome. You have him just coming in here like he's the tennis ball boy giving you a fresh vape.

By the way, mind you, he's at three vapes on his desk. I want a different flavor. It's unbelievable. Anyway, yeah. No, but think about what you're saying is true in a very creepy way. People would make an event out of going to a public hanging or something. That was a night out. -what would you wear?

-back in the day, that was their Netflix. Yeah.

Would you go? When they hung someone and went… Netflix got that sound. Yeah, dude, you would get dressed up for this. This was a thing to go to do. People would wear their Sundays best to go to these fucking things. It's insane.

Yeah. And then your friend gets... If I went.

If I was getting home- Oh, I'm bringing popcorn. I know. I'm selling it. Popcorn here. Execution of a Korean popcorn here. If I'm.

There, right? I'm looking at you and you're just... I'm smiling. Oh, my God. I'm infuriated.

First of all, knowing Bobby and how fucking self-involved he is, if I was looking away for one second, he'd be like, Hey, watch me get hung. Watch me. Yeah, I would do that. He would be so mad if I'm like, I'm tying my shoe. He's like, watch me get fucking hung. Not a good friend.

I mean, what if people weren't crying?

Dude, I imagine a lot of people didn't cry. I can imagine.

Okay, who would not cry? -you laughed for a long time. I think, Bert.

Bert would laugh.

He would laugh. Yeah. Okay, I'm hung. Give me Tom Seguro. He would.

Pretend to cry. He would never show up. Oh, yeah, he would. He's got shit going on.

He wouldn't be there. All right, who else? Theo. Thing.

Theo would be there, but he would leave early.

But he'd.

Watch you get hung and the second you're dead, he'd.

Get out.

I got to go.

Yeah, you got.

To go. That shit is wild. Whitney.

Whitney would bring a bunch of.

Dogs.

To watch.

The execution.

Oh, reverse. The dogs eat you. Carma. That's a carma, dude. It's funny, dude. Who else would be there?

Who else? Who would.

Come to your.

Public execution? You know who he would get too self-involved? Rick Glassman.

At his own hanging or yours? Not my hanging.

Yeah, he'd be in the back talking to people.

He'd be doing a bit. Oh, you think so? Yeah, he'd be doing a bit the entire time.

I would think that he would be like, You know what? What happens to the body afterwards? And trying to figure out the logistics of everything.

I'll tell you what. I think Rick would somehow finagle his way into convincing them to do it later. What do you mean? He'd be like, Listen, this doesn't work for me like the light and the war. He would make them hang you later in the day. Oh, that's good. That's a friend. No, he's very smart like that. Yeah, very smart. And Adam Ray would dress up like one of the executioners in character and accidentally have to execute me.

No, you would do as Dr. Phil. You would do as Dr.

Phil. I'm going to hang you, guy. Yeah.

A lot of people do execution.

You think there'll be a lot of mine? Oh, yeah.

You'd have them probably the most.

No, I think both of you would have good numbers. I think.

You'd have.

The most.

I think you'd sell out, too. No, you wouldn't. You and I wouldn't sell out an execution. You'd sell out an execution. Imagine going to Ticketmaster to an execution and being.

Like-it'd be funny to watch you flail around your little body.

Oh, you think so? I think so. You think I'd have residual- You would.

Die funny. You'd pull.

Your dick out? You'd think I would die funny?

You would. I think you'd.

Pull your dick out at the end. Yeah. All right. For all time's sake.

He's hanging. He's like, You get a pube shot.

You know what would actually be a serious power move? Yeah. Start jacking off while you're getting on. You're like, It's not erotic as fixed as you're like.

Fuck.

You.

Now.

You're all gay.

Now you're all gay and this.

Feels awesome. Then you fucking bust the sweetest nut of all time because it's going to feel sick. Then you die. That's actually how you do it.

You're chatting. Now you all are gay.

Now.

You're gay. You're all gay now. I'll kill you.

I.

Would.

Purposely.

Do a funny face. Yes. Right? I'm Hong.

Overdo it.

I want to get a laugh.

-you know.

Me, I would be...

Yeah, and the classic tongue out.

Like, I'm.

The Viva. Or you know what would also be really good? Paint two Xs on your eyelids ahead of time.

That's.

A funny bit. That's a funny bit.

That's a funny bit.

That's a funny bit.

You know what you do? Yeah, you make it so that the moment you get hung, your pants fall down.

Nice. We had a lot.

Of great ideas. You rig it so your pants fall down. And you know what you're doing?

I'm trying to do it with a slide whistle in the crowd.

Dude, how about when you get hung, your pants fall down and you're tucking? You're doing the Mangina.

I'd have enemies there, too, though.

I think. No, you wouldn't.

I would have a couple of enemies.

You have no enemies.

There's a guy named Yoshi. He hates me.

Who's this fucking guy?

He just hates me. You know Yoshi, right? He hates me. He wants me dead.

Okay. What did you do to him?

I fucked up.

So you did. So it.

Is your fault. Yeah, totally my fault. I fucked up bad. I fucked up. Okay, then it is.

What it is. So he would be there.

Right? Who else? I can't say his name out loud.. He would be there.

Mario and Louise, he was doing a Yohshie joke. I do.

Think a lot of times we should actually remove the microphone from up there. I think about that. As good as we're doing, as we're humming along. Well, I let it go.

You shouldn't. I tried to let that joke go. Step up. I just went through it.

Yep.

And it just gave me a really bad vibe right now. Yeah.

God, you fucked it.

Up, dude. Mario and Luise there, too.

Carlos, what did I send you? Did I send you something yesterday? Yeah, you sent me a.

Bunch of stuff. I want to make amends to Yoshi if.

I could now. Please do. Yeah.

No, this is not that. That's funny. We can show them that. Oh, this is great, though. This is.

Going to make amends real quick?

Please, I would love to hear why you make amends.

Okay, so this is why Yoshi hates me. A long time ago, I was on a friend of ours podcast, and he goes, He compared me to Yoshi.

Sorry?

He compared this my friend-.

Compared you to the real guy, Yoshi.

To the real guy, Yoshi, a comic. We're at the same level or something. I defended myself. I'm much funnier than him. He's not even a real. I said something.

Like that, right?

You know exactly what you said. I know what I said, right? Then his brother found out and I was like, I didn't even mean to say that. I just set it out of defense or whatever.

Also, to your credit, they just picked a different Asian guy.

Right.

Exactly. If they just picked the fattest comic thing, you and they're like, Yeah, you stop.

You're like him, right? Yeah.

You're like John Pinnett.

I found out he was really hurt by it and I didn't even mean it. I'm just sorry, dude. But every time I see him, he just literally just stares at me like he was going.

To kill me. I don't know this guy. Do I know who.

This is? I feel like-Yeah, he's friends with Brody. Yeah, he was friends with Brody.

Anyway-thanks.

Carlos.

Thanks, Carlos. -i think bringing up one of our dead friends.

What's.

Shaquille doing?

Hold on. That's the behavior you guys got to listen. He brings this to.

The table. Now that you're sober, Itry to throw up. I assume you'd throw something fun out. You bring up our dead friend?

Well, that's how I knew Yoshi was he podcasted with Brody.

It breaks my fucking heart.

Well, I almost died and I'm here.

Yeah, but you're here. It's like fucking didn't work. All right, let's see what he says. Keel O'Neal has been.

To every zoo in the world, and.

They all have one.

Thing in common. Every. True story. Because I promise you, I don't went to every zoo in the world. I've been to every zoo in the world. You have not been to every zoo in the world. I've been to every zoo in the world. Okay. Every time I go to a guerrilla section, they look at me like, Hey, man, where are your fur at? No, for real, fur. That's how they look at me. Then they also look at me like, Hey, what am I doing to hearing you out there?

They always.

Look like.

I promise.

That's awesome. We'll just take a clip from Facebook for this clip. Shack posted this clip for proof.

We.

Can have a chair, so it's nice and quiet.

This is the end.

Since Shack felt his co-hosts didn't.

Believe his story, he called the director of the Miami.

Zoo personally.

To validate his claim.

This is nuts. No, but sure, don't believe me, so I want to call my guy from the zoo. This is Ron McGale, the director of Miami Zoo. Oh, that guy rules. Tell him what happens when I walk by the guerrilla exhibit.

He gets intimidated and he looks at Shaq and thinks that Shaq's going to take away his girls. He knows who's the boss. He's anything Shaq. I also shared a similar story while on the.

Impulsive podcast.

I'll go to them and I'll mess with them and they all come to the glass and they all do this. That's cool. Every zoo in the world. They just go crazy. Just go to glass and go.

Wow. That's awesome. I mean, it's insane.

It's insane. It's insane that he keeps telling this story. Yeah. Like, Why are you retelling.

This story? It's fun.

It is.

Insane, though. It's fun. It's one of those things where it's like it would make a racist person really happy to hear it.

That's what I'm saying, though. He's baiting racist. Yeah. He's baiting people to be like, Oh, see?

See? How much a white person enjoys that story is a good barometer of how.

Racist it is.

Yes, a lot of results. They're smiling way... If they're like, Oh, yes. If you like smile like, Oh, that's pretty funny.

Then you're good. I can see this as a bit on gut felt on Fox than being like, Welcome back to told you so. On this section of told.

You so. I love that.

Shaq goes to every zoo. This is why I like Shaq, though. The guy knows how to fucking take a piss out of himself better than anybody from the athlete world. Most athletes are too cool for... Like Deion Sanders. He won't get any dirt on his shoes. He's like, No, fuck that. I'm shit.

We might get into his wound and affect his foot even further.

I think we can get him on here.

Shaq? Yeah. I would kill to have Shaq.

Because he's done Bobby Altof. He's done now, impulsive.

I think he could do us. You mean you think we could.

Get him? Yeah.

What.

Did I.

Just say? I think he could do us. I think we could get him.

Why did I say that?

Why did I say that? Let's end this the way that we really should end it by giving Stavros the platform to say whatever he wants at the end to wrap this whole thing up.

Oh, wow. Go ahead. Thank you so much. I just want to say everyone, please watch Fat Rascal on Netflix. Please buy a calendar. If you're a sexy black guy, hit up Bobby. He's trying to dip his toe. You know what I mean? If you're a Tyrese style black guy-.

Loves it.

-you know?

He loves that shit.

Hit up Bobby, get in his DMs, take him out for, I don't know, dancing. Take him out dancing, and then you guys can kiss in your maybe like a Mercedes. He's got to be a classy guy.

How's that sound, Bob?

Good.

Thank you for being a bad friend.