Hey, we got new merch. We got these t shirts. I love it. This is like a fear and loathing Las Vegas. Yeah.

And this one's from the beast boys. And we've got different colors, different sizes, different things. Hoodies, crew necks, long sleeves. We got it all. Go to bad friendsmerch.com. Badfriendsmerch.com. Also, we're in Abu Dhabi.

Abu dhabi for the Abu Dhabi comedy week.

That's right. May 21 in the ethad arena. Yas Island.

Yas island. Yeah. That's my favorite island.

In Abu Dhabi. In Abu Dhabi. Go to bad friendspod.com.

Yes, island, could be.

Yes, island. Go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets. And also andrewsantino.com. I am running new jokes to put together my new hour. I'm in Houston, tampa, Phoenix, Nashville, Dallas, San Francisco. I'm just doing a bunch of clubs to put together the new hour. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com. Hey, everybody, Ricky Sineki is out right now. It's me. It's just me. Actually, the other guys that are in it, I don't know if they're important, but it is John Cena, Zac Efron and Jermaine Fowler amongst a cast of other funny people.

Great movie. Watch it on Amazon Prime Video.

Watch it on Prime Video. Ricky Sinicki, available right now.

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Hey, guys, quiet, please. We're doing a show hobby.

Like to yell.

I'm so sorry, you guys publicists, but.

I want you to introduce our guests the proper way.

What?

Yes. You guys split. There's only two and two.

We have Zach Efron, John Cena, Jermaine Fowler, Andrew Santino, and they're in a new movie called Rick Smiles.

Ricky Smiles is our new movie.

He does smile a lot in the movie. And I'm telling you right now, I heard it's a banger, dude.

Tell the boys everything you know about Ricky smiles.

What I know about the Ricky smiles is that he smiles a lot in the movie. And dude, it's like, remember the movie smile? I do. I've seen know my friends are in. Yeah, yeah.

We're in a movie called Ricky Stoicki.

Ricky Smile. Ricky Snicki.

So do another introduction.

Welcome to the Bad Friends podcast. We have two, three very, four very big actors and stuff. Yeah, sorry.

Thanks.

I mean, these bigger.

Hurry up.

They're bigger.

Introduce.

Yeah, they are. They're bigger than you physically. So with two very big stars. One comic I've known for very. I don't even know he's a star. I know he is, but you're not them.

Oh, my God.

And then we got Andrew, my buddy, right? John and I go way back. We did mad TV together like a couple of CEO. He punched me, slapped my stomach in a sketch.

Okay, so John, he wants to know. He was scared and nervous. He's nervous now. Do you remember the sketch?

Yeah.

You are?

Oh, my God, do I remember it? I remember like it was yesterday. You got to understand. I appreciate the kind words, Bobby.

Look up when he's speaking to you, or don't, whatever. No, I need him to look up.

Wrestling in WWE for a long time has been looked at in a certain light. And you were kind enough to welcome me on your show and do a bit, asking me to do some crazy stuff. And, boy, did you take a whole hell of a lot of punishment. But you also gave us an avenue to introduce WWE to a whole different audience. So thank you for that. I greatly appreciate it. I remember, like, it was yesterday.

And you know what, Matt? You know what, Matt? The pleasure is all mine. He was so nervous that you wouldn't remember him, John.

He was really scared, John.

Yeah, you were going to remember me. I'm not scared. All right. Anyway, tell us about the movie. Tell us about the backpack. Tell us about the movie.

Well, the movie comes out March 7 on Amazon Prime Video. And what do you think some of your favorite stuff is?

What do you mean?

What do you think some of your favorite things in the movie are. You saw the trailer?

No, I never saw it. Okay, good. Well, it's because out of jealousy.

Can we do something real fast, by the way, with the boys? This is kind of how chaotic our show always is, but we're going to call somebody because it's her birthday today. Did you call her today?

Who was this person who you're talking about?

It's your mom's birthday today.

Is it really?

Do you not know it's your mother's birthday today?

Fuck, dude, I swear to God, I.

Sent her a happy birthday first thing in the morning.

It.

That's insane that you.

What's the date? I don't want to be here if it is.

Today is the 13th. This is your mom's birthday?

Yeah. She's not going to pick up for you.

Well, you call her, I'll pick her.

She's going to pick up for me, not you.

She just sent me a bunch of texts. She sent me photos this morning. From the tub? No, just being like, enjoying my tub.

She shriveled up titty. Her tedies are shriveled up, dude.

Oh, she picked up and hung up. Facetime her. We'd like to sing happy birthday, Bob's mom, because Bobby's 52. His mom is which. How old is your mom?

1000 years old.

158.

Yeah. And no one's counting. Here we go.

But I texted his mom. This is how I knew what would happen on this. I texted her first thing in the morning.

Here we go. If she doesn't pick up for me, no more money. Every month I send her $3,500. No more money.

I thought it was more than that.

That's it now for 20 years, $3,500 a month is pretty good.

It's not bad. I mean, you're a little bit.

I'm a good son.

A little bit cheaper for me.

I'm not here to leave a message.

Let's leave a message. No. Happy birthday, Zach. John Cena are here to say happy birthday.

I'm with John Cena. You know him. Zach Efron.

You know Jermaine Fowler.

You're not going to do Andrew.

She does know me.

I know she knows you.

We're going to sing happy birthday real fast. Ready? One, two, three. Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday, dear mom Omah Omah.

Omah Omah happy birthday to you thanks, mom. Happy birthday.

Thank you. She's the greatest woman on earth. She came back to our phoenix show and in just like the Lee fashion, she didn't want to talk to anybody. She sat on the couch and she was looking at BTS pictures on her iPad for about an hour and a half.

She loves them. She wishes her son was like BTS.

She wishes you were.

Yeah. I'm a fat fuck.

You are.

I'm sorry, but that's. Yeah, well, I did this to my know. Me and Jermaine were talking about. We're playing a little game, guys. Can you want to play a little game?

Let's play a game.

So I was giving him some evergreen movies and let's just play a little game. And he knew a lot, right? So I'm going to give you some. And if you do this, that's a buzer. All right. Name me one actor in the movie mean streets. Come on, Jermaine. Did.

Jermaine, go ahead. There's a mic. Get the mic. Zach de niro.

Right?

De Niro.

Yeah. Ding, ding.

One point for one point.

First. All right, how about this? One actor in the movie being there. Yeah, go ahead.

Who's back there?

Go ahead.

Who knows?

Peter Stalls? Fuck, yeah.

Very good.

The random Spanish.

One to one.

One to one to three. Thank you.

John, you got to get in on this.

That's a killer. Yeah, I'll help you out here.

Here we go.

One actor in the movie the wrestler Mickey Rourke. What?

Mickey Rourke.

John, what the fuck, dude?

That was your layup for you.

Todd Berry. Yeah. Oh, you're not in it.

No.

Yeah. Say that line again. It was very funny.

I'm competing to the best of my ability.

I know you are. You're so good, dude. You're doing so good. Thank you so much. One to two. Okay, so here. All right, should I go deep secrets? Okay. Name one actor in the movie. Ricky Sineki. Zach. Zach Efron. Dude, you're in it. Dude. You didn't know that? John? I almost said Matt Damon. I just wanted to say Matt Damon. I don't know. Why is he Matt Damon in it? All I could see was his face. Maybe he could be in it. Are we done with the game, or do you want to do one more? It's two to two to one, whoever goes to three. Yeah.

And what happens to the winner?

What does the winner get? Yeah, what do we get? Oh, you're going to get a ten second hug from me. Wow. I know. This is a movie. I know. We're in Hollywood, right? It's not sexually based. It's more like a soldier. Because, you know, Hollywood soldier, coming home, visiting his dad. You know how they surprise their dad? That's like more of those, kind of like, welcome home, son. I can't. And in my case, maybe the Vietnam War because, you know what I mean? The korean war. Let's make it korean war because I'm korean, right? What the fuck? What war do you want, Jermaine? I don't know. You got to pick one.

I did. Okay, Jermaine, we can do any war you want. What kind of Warhog reenactment would you like?

Vietnam. Vietnam?

You want Vietnam?

Yeah.

Okay, great. So it's a tie.

Two to two to one because of the Lord's Fincher. Yes. The reference, yes. No. Apocalypse now. Jinx.

What's the final movie question?

Okay, here we go. Let's go.

By the way, Zach paused long enough to not know it was his name in this movie. Who's in the movie? He was like.

He said, zac Efron said, zach Damon.

I almost wanted you to look at your hand. Like Zac Efron. That's me.

I just hit the table. One actor. One actor in the movie close encounters in the Thor kind.

Ooh, this is good. Come on. Come on, boys. John, do you know.

Wow.

Oh, I can't think of a single person.

Yeah, yeah. What's his name?

Don't get all of his movies.

He's not going to know the name.

Well, he's going to get a hug. Now you get to cherish this hug. This is important.

Richard Dreyfus.

Richard Dreyfus is in it. No. Oh, my God. Dude, Zach buzed. He didn't buz.

I see. It's Richard Dreyfus. Richard Dreyfus. He's in it.

Give him a hug.

Oh, we do.

Yeah, Zach gets along. Hold on.

Let me set the scenario, though. Okay? What? Built this up? And there's going to be no pain.

Yeah. You did.

Yeah, dude, you didn't want to hug me. You knew the answer. You didn't want to hug me. That's fucked up, dude.

You know what, Jermaine? You play out the scene right now with Bobby right behind us. Give a hug like you're coming home from the war.

Well, we can both be coming home from the war.

Yeah.

Or we built it up so much.

We can just take it away from.

Yeah, we could give him the satisfaction.

All right, Zach. So, Zach, you've just played the dad. Okay? You're the dad. I was adopted. Obviously, I was.

No, no. What if his wife was korean?

I don't look half asian.

Yeah, you do. You look full asian. But there, now that's half. That's half. That's half. Look at that. There's a guy from Tennessee. There he is.

How are you doing, man? All right.

Welcome home.

This is a career war. It doesn't make any sense. Why?

What did you make?

Why?

You're a soldier from America who fought in Korea. You're half, welcome home, son. There he is.

Well.

You'Re his dad. Welcome home, Dad.

I was going to be dead. Wait a minute.

This doesn't make any sense.

What?

You're a half korean kid who went to fight in the korean war on the american side fighting against the North Koreans.

Yes.

Makes perfect sense now. It makes perfect sense.

Of course.

So walk in the door and hug your son. Dad.

Yeah, but when I walked in, dad didn't even give a fuck. I was in the.

That's what a dad would do.

Really? He thought his son was going to die. I'm surprised you.

He thought you were going to make it through. I don't think you're the first one to go.

I know. That's why I poured that. He should be more.

You should be shocked that he made it home.

I don't think he knew you left. He's a stoic. He's a stoic.

All right, so here you go, Zach. This is really showing some good acting chops with your son coming home. Your half korean son coming home from the korean war, fighting on the american side. Of course he's home. You're reading the paper.

Go ahead. Do it like Matt Damon would do it.

Okay, let him do it. He's settling in. Go ahead.

Who's there?

Who is there?

Well, why would I knock him? I'm going to walk into my own house.

No, you don't live there anymore. He thinks you're dead.

I still have a room. Okay. My house seems familiar.

Don't see. Be it right now.

All right.

Don't. Oh, man.

Good to be home. Who's that?

Who's there?

Dan. No freaking way. No way. No way. Dan. Is he blind?

No, he got blinded. From a bomb?

Yeah, from a bomb. Wow, you're back. I can't believe you.

Congratulations.

How was the war? It was terrible.

What have you been wanting more than anything?

Hug from your daddy.

Get a hug from your daddy. Count the second. Yeah.

Oh, son, I'm so happy you're back.

One. 10 02, 10 03, 10 00.

Multicam audience.

Four. 1005. One. Or is it not 1000? It's like it's Oklahoma. One Mississippi, two Mississippi. Okay, there it is. Give it up for that.

That was a great scene. And you know what? That should be in the movie. That should be in the movie. We should.

That was 15 seconds.

Felt like three years to me, Jermaine. Okay. We like to do some unorthodox questions on the show. We like to throw. Yeah, just a little. We like to throw you off. We like a game called who's the fatty? And every week we measure on our crew who's gained a little bit of weight. If you can guess the correct weight of Bobby, you get a prize. We have a scale. Did we bring the scale? Did we bring it? We didn't bring it. Okay, so what do you think his current weight is? He's looking right. Stand up and do a spin. And. Yeah, spin.

God, he's looking right at me.

Lift up your shirt. Staring. Yeah, they need. Because then they kind of. Because Gray is. Gray looks. There it is.

Thanks. That helps. Actually does help. It's not heavy weight.

And now if you guess the weight, you get a prize. And tell them how tall you are. Five foot. No, five, two and a half. Five, two and a half. Five, two and a half.

You look good. 168.

168 from Zach.

Go ahead. I was going to say 165.

165. Six and a half stone. Six and a half stone. I have no idea. I don't do any of that european stuff. It's got to be. He's good, that is. John would give us a task. How many pounds is six and a half stone? It's 91 pounds. I don't wear 91 pounds. A guess is a guess is a guess. Dude, I'm 170. Who got it closest? Zach did. And you know what? You get Zach? Another ten second hug. Another hug. Another hug. He's home from the war again. Oh, my God.

Another war. Another war.

Vietnam. Oh, dad, you love Texas three. Texas. Texas Christian university.

Four.

Texas Christian University five. Very good, you guys.

Thanks for your service, Bobby. Now you got to go everyone their way.

No, just you. That's the show. Well, because yours is the most fun. Yours is the most deceiving.

170 is good.

Yours being five.

2170 is good. I think so. Right? That's not good. Good. How tall. Wait, how tall are you? 5757. How much do you weigh? 150. That's normal? Yeah, that's normal. I'm abnormal.

So what are you supposed to be?

I should be 140. You know how good I'd look, though? Move over. Steven Yoon. You carry it well.

Real question from everybody. What your answer might.

Okay. So very serious. John. Hi. Good to see you again. Good to see you. You have not aged. You look so good.

Neither of you.

You look the same.

That's not true.

That's completely true.

Thank you.

Hair a little bit. Sideburns. Thank you so much.

And congratulations. Thank you on all your success. You as well. I'm doing okay. You are? I'm doing okay. You are. Don't do this. What the fuck are you doing? Why was I not in the movie?

That's an honest question. My answer is those choices are way above my pay grade.

That's the political one.

That's the genuine one. I don't have any stroke.

Okay, Efron, what do you think? Why wasn't he in the movie?

Did you audition?

Maybe that. Maybe that too.

Maybe that too. Were you aware of it in any capacity? Yeah, I was aware of it. I tracked it. You know, how you track projects.

Oh, were you on the tracking boards?

No, but I was like, okay, Ricky.

Ricky, what role in the movie do you think you. What role do you think you could have played in this?

Film. Ricky. Ricky.

John. Okay, so John is Ricky Stoicki.

Yeah, right. Of course he is.

He's the guy that we hire to play our alibi. Best friend.

Of course he is.

Efron and Jermaine and I are the three best friends. Where do you think you slide in? You think you could have gotten role?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, is yours black specific? Well, yeah, you're the minority friend. You're the minority friend.

You want to be in my minority friend?

Where would I be? What would I be? Thank you. Dude, we're in the same category.

What would you be? Well, at one point, what could he have been? We ate at a restaurant.

My partner.

You couldn't have been his partner.

Why?

Because in the movie, his partner is a beautiful little handsome man. You could have been his partner. You could have been his partner.

Why go on.

Seconds on steak fries. Yes. Could have been him.

What's that?

You saw the movie?

No.

Coming out after we actually sent it to you. We sent it to you and you didn't watch it. But can I just set.

Okay. I know what you're trying to do right now. I know what you're trying to do right now.

I didn't do anything.

Yeah, what did I do? I want to let you guys know right now, okay? I wish I was in the movie, but I'm okay. I'm doing my other things as well.

What are you doing?

And I'm not going to mention things I'm in, but I'm just saying I got other things as well. And I'm okay with my life, so I know what you guys trying to do and you know what I mean. Fuck you. Hey, no, fuck. You.

Said you were fine.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fucking pieces of shit. Okay, I love you. As long as you're good, man. I'm good.

Zach, don't worry. We'll edit all that out.

You can't say fuck you on this.

Well, I don't think the press is going to like us.

Oh, sorry, my bad. We'll cut it out. I promise you. I'll cut it out. Can I still do the eyes coming in like that? That was pretty good, right?

No, we're going to leave it. Who sponsors this Evian anymore? You see how empty this room is? And we have seven publicists and people that are working on the film on the other side of the camera for the boys, ready to pounce at any moment.

They're working.

No.

Bobby, where's the movie airing?

It's going to be on Amazon Prime Video March 7.

Very good. Amazon Prime Video, March 1.

Condescending, condescending. Condescending.

Bobby, you're doing on purpose, man. It's the 7th. What?

March 7.

March 7. Amazon Prime Video Square.

No, it's not just prime. Prime video.

Prime Video. No, it was Amazon Prime Video. Not just Prime Video.

He said, say Video Prime. Amazon owns Video.

Prime.

Prime video. It'll be on the Internet.

The Internet.

And your TV.

And your TV. And I'm going to say this. I can't believe. And I'm going to be completely honest with you.

Please be honest.

May I be honest?

Please be honest.

Why? With this star of caliber, with the.

Fairly brothers behind Pete Fairley himself, not Bobby, whatever. That's why we only got one of the two anyway.

And I cannot believe that it's not going to theaters.

We agree. Which should be in the movie theaters.

And I don't know who's behind it. What.

Amazon is behind the whole thing.

You know that.

Yeah.

Jeff Bezos.

Should we call him? I'll call Bezos right now and I'll ask him what's going on.

Call Bezio. I hope this one works.

I'm going to call Jeff Bezos right now.

He's with his mom.

Because I'm going to say, and I want you to say, jeff, put it in theaters. Will you do that if he picks up?

Yeah, please. Yeah, I will. I've never talked to him, but hold on.

He's on a yacht or something.

Manscape top of the morning to ya.

No, it's top of the morning to ya.

That's what I just did.

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Hi.

Hello. Hi.

It's your mom. It's your mom. But act as, like it's mom. Act like it's Jeff Bezos mom.

Are you Jeff Bezos? Yeah, Jeff.

Talk to Jeff.

Anyway. Jeff Bezos.

Good.

Jeff Bezos. How come Ricky Nicki is not in theaters? No, I can hear you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, mom. Happy birthday, Jeff Bezos. Oh, you're on the iPad.

She doesn't want to speak in English.

Because she knows listening. Okay. It's okay, mom.

Answer one question.

She's about to die. I think that was her back. What? She just called me my brother's name. Okay, mom. Anyway, the better brother. Okay. Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos.

Sounds weird. What is he doing?

Jeff.

Bye, Jeff.

Jeff. Put it in theaters, please. Okay, mom. What the fuck is Bolto? Yeah, okay. I'll talk to you later. Okay, bye, Jeff.

Wow.

I don't think I needed us for this interview. Sounds different. The call was redirected, right? Yeah. He's under a little medication. Jeff.

What's been going on with. What's been going on, dude?

Yeah, he's living, you know, Jeff, when Jeff hears us, he gets so excited.

He does. He turns Korean.

He turns Korean. He turns into an old korean woman. It's interesting, you know, one of those things.

Look, it's going to be out on March 7, and that is the new world that we live in now. And it's going to be everyone's TV. They don't have to go to theater to watch. They can watch it at home.

Yeah.

Watch it on your phone.

It's going to be great. It's going to be a hit. And I'm really very looking forward to it.

You're very looking forward to it.

Yeah. I cannot wait.

Okay, so do some sign off questions with the boys. I know you want some one on one time. You bet. You got all nervous before we came here.

I wasn't nervous. I was nervous. No, I'll tell you what.

I was pacing and smoking which we're not smoking.

I put your cologne on. It was great. I wasn't pacing. Here's why. Right? Here's why is because we live in a podcast world where we can say whatever we want, and here I have to be a little bit more professional about it. I meant it. I meant it, but no, I was like, good acting. Thank you so much. Very good acting. So I was just wondering, how am I going to be able to navigate it? But I think it went pretty good. So wonderful job.

So do a sign off question with each of the guys.

What does that mean?

Ask them that final question. That the final question you really wanted to.

All right. So, John, how's your mom?

She's fantastic. Honestly, she's fantastic. I often confuse her with Jeff Bezos, but she's fantastic. Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

I'll tell her you said hello.

Signing off. Thank you, Zach. Oh, yeah. Can I say something? Sure. I like women.

What's that? You like women?

I like women.

Do you want me to tell the guys what you said before we started?

No, I don't want to do that. But what I'm going to say is that I like women. You like all people as humans? Yeah.

You like humans?

100% right now at this. Right now, you're into girls? I've always been. Well, okay, yeah, that's fine. I'm just saying that I was, like, I wasn't wondering if Zac Efron is as handsome as in real life.

So you're saying in case you might.

Not be into women, would Zach, I'm 100% into women.

It's fine if you're not.

But I remind you of a woman? No.

Is that what you're trying.

I got to get it out. Yeah. What I'm saying is that you look just as good as I perceived you to be.

On the scale of what you thought he was going to, what does this have to do with you liking.

Just because I don't want him to think he's hitting on me or whatever.

Try to hit on him and see if he's into.

No, I don't want to do that.

Try to hit on him and see if he's into.

You have beautiful eyes. Your eyes are stunning. All right, thanks for these questions. Are those your real eyes?

Yeah, I told you.

Fucking.

You're right the whole time. Those are his fake eyes.

No, CGI.

CGI, dude.

Those are real, dude.

No, they're real.

They are amazing.

The question you wanted to ask Bobby wants to know if you'd ever be interested in any sort of world. If you'd go to a dinner date.

With.

A date with him.

I'm never going to see him again.

It's platonic. It's a friend. Do you want to go?

We could do a group thing one day.

You one on one.

I'm not going to want to back to Jermaine. Fuck you.

Ask him.

Will you want to go on a dude? Bottom of my heart, I'd love to. Thank you. Ask.

All right, Jermaine's final question.

So, Jermaine, can I say this? Can I make a statement first? And then a question?

You've done that the whole time, so, yeah.

Thank you. Thank you.

I don't know why you'd stop.

I have to say, look at me, dude.

Jermaine, lean in, please, if you don't mind.

I've known you for how long? I've known you for a while. Why are you so shy right now? Yeah.

So cute.

And before we did this, I said, you checked every one of my boxes. Yes. You did? Yeah. Is that your question? No, I'm making a statement first.

Statement first.

And the look game, the style. Yeah, I like it. And also the funny game, dude. Too legit to quit, dude. Amazing.

You don't have to do, like, a black phrase when you do that. You don't have to do that. You can just say, how about this?

I'm sorry. My bad.

You didn't have to do that.

Your comedy game is Okie dokie. That's so white.

Give it, like, a more uplifting white phrase.

What?

Like, yeah.

Kawabanga, man.

Kawabonga.

Yeah, kawabanga.

Your comedy game is kawabonga.

Kawabanga. Dude, it's out of sight. Out of sight. Right. But guess what? Guess what, dude? What? Game did I realize today that my movie game. No. Oh, cologne game. Yeah. You like my cologne game? Your smell, dude. Bra was, I was going to say too lit to quit again. Don't do that. Aok. Amazing. Very good. I don't know. Top line. Top of the line.

Let's go higher.

Yeah. Top notch. Top notch. Thank you. Top notch. Top notch.

Thank you, man. Top notch.

And I took a photo of the cologne you were wearing. You did? Yeah. Have you smelled him?

Guys, could you guys get in and smell him real fast?

Just. No, because I sprayed.

How is it, Zach?

Yeah, John, smell him, John.

Take a huff. Real fast. Wow.

Too legit, right?

Is that too legit?

Too much, John. Is it? Yeah.

I don't know how legit that is.

Yeah, it smells great. Thank you, man. Wow.

I'll tell you what, it's not going to quit, that's for sure.

Honestly, you hit the smell game, dude. And you're number one on my bunk.

Out of all the people at the table.

No, he's third.

All right, give him your third question.

Yeah. Do you like me? Can I be honest with you? Yeah, be completely honest. I've been a fan of you since I was in middle school, man, and I've always thought you were fucking hilarious. And this is really cool to me, too, bro.

He's going to cry.

No, I'm not joking. I think I told you this in the van when we did that comedy festival. I'm joking. I just wanted to hear it again.

Huge fan. Huge fan.

John. Huge.

John is huge.

I know you're huge fan.

Huge fan. Huge.

I know you're huge.

John's huge.

Yeah. Anyway, good luck with the movie.

Thanks for doing you. Tell everybody at home. Where do they see the movie? What's it called again?

Amazon Prime, March 5, March 7 7th. Ricky Stinicky, prime Video. Prime video.

Ricky Stanicki.

Sto Nicki. Watch it fairly. Peter.

Peter Fairley.

Yeah.

Thank you for being a bad friend. Hey, bad friends. This shirt I don't trust soup is in the movie. Ricky Stanicki, John Cena is wearing it. And one of the writers of the film, Brian Jarvis, and the director, the great legendary Pete, fairly decided make these shirts, sell them out there. And a big, big chunk of the proceeds goes to make a wish foundation, which Mr. Johnson is heavily involved in, and we love and believe in it, too. So you want to support make a wish, go to I don't trustsoup.com and buy this shirt, iontrustsoup.com and buy it for the Make A wish foundation. Thank you. Welcome back to the bad friends welcome cast coming to you live.

Zach Efron is not that good looking.

Hottest guy on earth.

I could talk shit now, man. He's thicker than. He's too thick for me.

Thick?

Yeah.

What do you mean he's thick? What would be too thick?

Suck it strong.

Yeah.

No, he's just too perfect.

Too perfect?

His blue eyes, dude pierced my butthole, dude.

Beautiful. He was so like an X Men.

Fucking mutant power, dude. I was so into him when you shot in Australia.

So hard to shoot with him because I always wanted to kiss him. I put that in the script. I'd say, what if we had a kissing scene?

Yeah.

And he was like, what do you mean a kissing scene? I said, what if we're best friends. Yes.

And he says, yeah.

I said, what if we have a little smooching scene? Yeah, look at that. There's a picture of the crew. There's me, John Cena, Zac Efron giving you bunny ears. Classic. Classic. F dog. And Jermaine Fowler, another great actor and comedian.

A fellow stand up, the new Lawrence Fishburne.

I don't know if he would like that, but maybe he is.

I already told him he looked like him.

He doesn't really look like Lawrence Fishburne.

I know you thought that was essence. Like I have the essence of Jet Lee.

No, that's what everyone says. No, you don't. Everyone says, no. Maybe jumbo jet li.

I was going to say that. Jumbo Lee.

Jumbo jet Lee.

Jumbo jet Lee. That was fun, though, today with the guys.

Oh, what a great job. I really do hope people like the movie. And I'm. Thank you. Very grateful for you to come do that for me.

Great movie. I thought it. You saw it?

Yeah.

How? For the first time. How about drugstore June? You see that? See, that's the thing. That's the thing. See, that's the thing. You're into his shit. You're not into my shit.

Okay, first of all, it's not a competition. And let's be real here. We're supporting both of our films. Drugstore June is going to be an incredible film, a great success. And I hope this one is too.

It's going to be.

They're both great with a lot of people that we hope do well.

I want to talk about Vegas for you for a second.

I want to hear all about Vegas.

Number one.

Man, it looked so fun.

The number one question I got from everybody was, where's Andrew?

Shut up, dude.

100%.

Don't pander to me now, don't do that because you know I was upset. Don't do that. Shut up.

Everyone's. Tom, Burt, is Andrew here?

Andrew, Tom and Bert asked about me.

Yeah.

Shoot me a text and invite me to the show. Fucking put me on the show.

I told you, I invited myself. They didn't invite me. Yes, they did. Can I go? Are you sure? I go, yes. And I went.

You know why they fucking didn't invite me? And they invited you on the show? Because they wanted this to happen on the air.

That's not why.

Yeah, they wanted us to have some live beef. Will Compton was there, you know, DiStefano, Chris Disteufan.

Soder.

Soder.

Shane Gillis.

Shane Gillis. Well, of course, Shane Gillis. He's sponsored by Bud light now. He has changed the game.

And then who else was there? Paulie Shore came.

He lives in Vegas.

Oh, that's right. What?

Adam Ray.

Adam Ray did it.

Warren Sapp was there. Joey Fatone.

Can I tell you about that fucking old timey fucker of orange Sapp?

What do you mean you don't like him?

That old fucking timey motherfucker.

What happened?

I'll tell you something right now about that old times.

Yeah, open up about Warren Sapp.

I'll tell you about Warren Sapp right now. Dude, I'm going to say this to his fucking face, dog.

Do it, dog.

Warren, listen to me right here and be clear about it right now. I'm going to be very clear. Right?

Yeah.

You ain't got shit.

What does that even mean? You ain't got shit.

I'll tell you why, dude. Can I tell you why?

I'm waiting.

So, Burton, Tom, they do teams?

Yeah. Football teams. Yeah. They divided you guys up, right?

Obviously I'm the last guy picked.

No.

Right. They even picked you as Warren sabs. Snappy. Snap.

SAP, like tree.

Snap.

Warren Tree.

Warren snap. Goes, nah, nah to you. To fucking Tom Segura. Nah, nah, not him. I was the last guy.

Of course.

Me.

Yeah, but maybe they could have done it without you.

So then this is what, this old time? You know what? It's.

What do you.

We. Number one. I did the best out of everyone in all the competitions.

I was MVP in all the athletic competitions.

All of them. They couldn't believe it. Ask Segura.

What were the competitions?

Punting, throwing a ball, eating rice was one of. No, no. And also punting it through the fucking goalposts.

You did that better than anybody.

Tom. Didn't make one. Can I tell my story, please? All right.

Will Compton didn't make any.

Look at me. Celebrating like a champion and ask Tom right now.

I was so proud of you. I really was.

So it's the last event they do. The punt ot comes up to me.

OT?

Yeah.

Ot Genesis.

No, old time.

Oh, Sapadap. Sapadap.

Yeah. Old time comes up to me, goes, sir, let me tell you how you do it. How do I do it? So you place the ball, he goes, put your foot right here, take three steps back. Then just follow the motion forward and then kick it.

Yeah. Seems pretty logical.

Exactly. But I go, yo, my body doesn't work like yours. Yeah, my body is.

You guys might have similar working bodies, I don't know.

But my kicking is more karate. Haya. It's more of a haya kind of a thing. Right? Yeah, see, nah, I'm Warren, SAP. I know what I'm doing, so I do it his way. It went right into the ground, went up to the left. It didn't get even any lift.

So when you did his one. Yeah, you're more high. Yahoo.

So I have two shot tries, right?

High, yo.

And the second try, he goes, no, do it again, because that was a practice. I go, no, man, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, dog.

Back off, Warren. Back the fuck up, SAP.

Dog, I took 50 steps back.

50?

Yeah.

Okay. Were you.

And I ran toward it. What?

Were you in the stadium?

No. Yeah, I ran toward it.

Okay.

Kicked it right between the goalposts.

God bless.

And I got it. Tom didn't make one. Bert Compton didn't make one. Bert made one.

Was Taylor there with Will?

No, Taylor wasn't there.

Wow.

But my point being is that there he is. There's my man.

So tell us what else you did in Vegas. Did you gamble?

I lost thousands of dollars.

Did you meet any?

No.

No ladies.

No ladies.

What about, uh, nothing. How about Guy Fieri? Are you his new BFF?

We argued about Mozarella sticks.

What was your argument?

His is no good.

He doesn't like them.

He goes, what do you mean? I go, yours is no good? I had in a restaurant, it's no good.

Oh, yeah.

And then he goes, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even know what restaurant we would have. Mozarella sticks. I swear to fucking God. Guy. Guy. I call him guy. That guy.

Look up guy Fieri's restaurant menu. I bet you there's Mozarella sticks on there. Was he lying?

I don't know. And I go, it's no good. It's too much. Too much cheese, too much deep fries.

Right?

And then we kind of. Kind of fight. It's like, no, you don't what you're talking about. I make the best mozzarella sticks. Here we go.

I don't think. I don't see it on there.

I know.

Jalapeno pig poppers.

Yeah.

Dynamite shrimp. All right, so he doesn't have matzo sticks.

So then he was there. And then who else was there? Vince. Hawana was there.

PV.

Who else was there? Stefano.

And who's the most Hollywood motherfucker out of this crew? It's you, papa. Yeah, you little baby.

You know Zach efron and John Cena? I don't.

I did a movie with them.

Exactly. That's Hollywood. I didn't work with these people. I just did a show.

How much more fun did you have? You just got to go to Vegas and kick footballs with Warren Sapadopoulos.

That's true.

Yeah.

I didn't know who he was. I still don't. I refuse to know.

Okay, I won't tell you.

I refuse to know.

Well, God bless. Did you have any other fun in Vegas that you want to share?

No.

You ate a lot of good food. You called me.

Oh, no. Fuck. Thank you for saying that.

You got it.

Butcher box. Today is the day I get my butcher box. And I get so excited because do you guys like high quality meats?

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Hate it.

It's so annoying. And we don't have a good butcher anywhere near me, so I love butcherbox. I get meat delivered right to my doorstep. All I have to do is go outside, get it a meat, bring it inside, cook it a meat. It's amazing.

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Badfriend friends I don't know. I'm singing. No, it's a good intro, but I'm so excited. I went to the best restaurant I've ever been to.

What is it called?

I forgot. No, I'm kidding. It's called bizarre meats.

Oh, bizarre meats.

Yeah.

By Jose Andres.

By Jose Andres.

By Jose Andres.

And I'm going to say something to you, dude. Yeah, okay. They brought out the wagyu a five kobe beef.

Sure.

And they brought a certificate with a stamp and everything.

What does that even mean?

I didn't read it. I didn't read it, but I held it right and it looked professional.

Well, it's sticky.

Some of it was in Japanese, and it was signed by some, maybe a cow. This is my meat. You know what I mean? I'm very delicious. Yeah. And so the guy goes, this is what the guy goes. The guy goes, sometimes people eat it raw. And I go, give me raw.

Yeah, you can.

I know. So he gave me a slice of wagyu beef, raw and melted, right in my mouth.

Who picked up the tab? Tommy?

Yeah. Good guess how much it was. It's ten people at the table.

Ten people. I don't know. 20 grand?

No, I don't know at that moment.

What the fuck people were drinking, right? I'm sure a bunch of those alcoholics.

Were going, ham, $7,500.

Jesus Christ.

He picked up the tab, but it was the best meal I've ever had. Everything that they brought out was like, that was the best of whatever that is.

Yeah. And in the middle of eating wagyu, you guys are like, where's Andrew?

They did.

No, the fuck they did. I didn't get one text. I got nothing.

You know how many?

You know what I got? You know what I got? I called you to say hi, to chat. The fuck I didn't. I did too call you.

Yeah, he did.

Piece of shit.

He did.

I got nothing from nobody.

Oh, shut up, dude.

I sat at home.

You fucking did the Bert Chrysler one in Vegas. Was I invited to.

Do it?

I said no. Anyway, we missed you. We really did. It would have been great to have you there, bud. Good to see you now, though, when I saw you today, I was very excited.

I was excited to see anyway. I just don't like being not with my prince. I figured I should be with my little prince in Vegas.

But think about the lineup. It went Trevor Wallace, okay. Me, Shane Gillis, because DiStefano didn't go up. Soto didn't go up.

No, they didn't go up.

No, they didn't go up. Yeah, they were just hanging out there. So what I'm saying is that it's overkill.

What they should have done is gone, Trevor, me and you together, and just have me sit there and watch you perform on stage.

That would have been great.

And then just would have. I would have brought out a chair, sat there, eaten some. The bazaar by.

When it was tag team back again. So I had to bring Shane up on stage.

Yeah, let me guess. The reception was huge. Let me guess. People lost their fucking minds. Let me guess.

How'd you know?

It broke the fucking noise barrier or.

Whatever in my body. It did.

Was it a Concord jet flight? Yeah. Let me guess.

It was incredible.

He's the most famous comic in the world. Let me guess.

Yes.

All that's right?

100%.

Of course it is, dude. Chain's top tier shit, dude, he's the biggest comic in the world. I don't think there's a bigger comic right now, in my opinion. Yeah, he sponsored by Bud Light doing SNL, which is insane. He flipped that motherfucking place. That's incredible.

Yeah.

Biggest Netflix special of the year.

Yeah.

Who's bigger than that guy? And I mean it.

But you know what I did?

Dave Chappelle somewhere is just like, this motherfucker's out of his mind, but he's the biggest.

I did something weasely.

Oh, what did you do to. This is what I wanted to hear.

This is the weasel part of me and the coward.

Oh, yeah, they're usually the same.

Oh, yeah. The night before I saw the lineup and it went Trevor, Shane, and then me.

Oh, how's that, Weasley?

Well, how I got out of it.

That makes perfect sense.

It doesn't.

No, I'm saying you switching is the right move.

I know, but I had to beg, Shane. No, I had to beg Tom. And I said, number one, ask him. I said, I swear to God, I'll blow you.

Did you do it?

No. And I go, you can have your money back.

Did you give him his money back?

No, he said he refused.

Okay.

And after some begging, I got on my hands and knees begging. I go, please. He's the man of the moment.

Why would he care if you switch? Actually, that's just bad lineups. Absolutely.

Would you be scared if you followed in front of 15,000 people, Shane Gillis?

I'm not scared. It's just, it's not the right order.

I would have done it.

He's the bigger comic. It's not the right order. Yeah, he should be.

Exactly. That's what I thought.

It's not like you're not going to do great. You're going to kill. I know, but it's just he's the thing right now.

Yeah. He's the man of the moment.

You got to give him his fucking, what do they call it?

Give him his roses. I mean, his dad too. Nice. Yeah. Anyway, we're done with Vegas. Haha.

All done with Vegas.

Ha ha. Anyway, let's move on.

Go to that thing I sent you. The thing about Bobby. I'm curious about this. This is insane. Bobby, full screen.

I love it.

What the fuck is this? Were you recording for a movie?

I'm so embarrassed that you saw that.

It's all over the Internet.

Yeah, everybody saw this.

What is this? Dude? Are you recording for a. It has to be for, like, death and ramen or a movie.

No.

You're licking an ICE cream cone.

I'm on Instagram Live. What's up?

What were you shooting? This was you shooting for something?

No, I'm not. I'm on Instagram Live. What's up? Dude, I can't do Instagram lives anymore on the streets.

I mean, this is the most asian shit I've ever seen you do in my entire life.

Yeah? What does it say? Can someone help me find Bobby NPC Burner account? Because I've never seen him go live. Okay, dude.

So what is the deal, though?

You know Dylan Francis?

Yeah, it's his music video.

Music video?

Yeah, that's what it is. I knew it was something.

Yeah. I don't know why that's out there. Someone recorded a crazy person.

Well, you're out on the fucking middle of the street.

It looks like a crazy person.

What do you think you're thinking there?

What.

What do you think is going through your head?

Career is over. I don't know. I committed. Like, he wanted me go out there and do that, and I committed to it.

You really did?

Yeah. I commit to everything I do. But it was fun, that music video. So, anyway, let's.

I love him. It's great. But no, let's let this ride in the background.

Why? I don't really. Well, that's all over the Internet.

Yeah, they love it. Some guy posed. Someone out their window must have recorded it.

Yeah. Does that look like me? Yes.

Does that look like you?

It could be any other guy.

Couldn't be anybody but you.

Really? There's not. Even if you drove by, you're the.

Only guy I know that wears 70 pounds of shit in their pockets.

Yeah, you're right.

You, at all times, look like you have cargo pants on because your pockets are so full.

You're right.

You know, Joe Rogan is like a fanny pack guy. You're a full pocket guy.

I have a lot of things in my pocket.

You're a big pocket.

Can we move on from it? Because I don't want to. Want to see it again.

I kind of love watching you do what you do. You do what you do.

Yeah.

And we all.

You do what you do.

It's not embarrassing. I just think I was fascinated by it.

What you do, my friend. What else do you want to talk about?

I don't know. Don't live in it so deeply.

What?

Don't live in the moment so deeply.

I want to live in the moment.

Live right now. Feel me. Feel me right now. What do you feel? Okay, I'm about to sell my house.

That's with you. I know you are, but the house you're going to get.

No, no, I'm not getting it. I'm going to move.

Where are you going? New York.

I don't know if I should tell you.

Tell me before you say it. May I say something? If you move to a different city outside of Los Angeles, I'm ending the podcast, okay? And that's just a warning to you and the fans out there. I will not do it unless we move together.

So then move with me.

Where are you going?

We're going to Austin, Texas.

I'll go.

I knew you would say yes, I'll go to Austin. No, I'm not going there.

You know what I would do is.

I would you do want to move there.

You told me no, what I would do is we would rent a house there and be the bad friends, kind of like that. I could escape. We could do a residency down residency down there.

We should revive and make our own show called.

I'm going to ask you a question. You're going to be so mad.

What?

Promise you're not going to be mad.

Well, no.

You just promise me.

Yeah, I promise. I'm not going to get and you're.

Not going to get infuriated. And if you say no, that's fine, I'll do no.

Okay.

You know I love already, already.

I didn't say anything. What is it?

And me and eget.

Uh huh.

Want to start a Star Trek podcast.

If you do that, I'll quit this show. I will quit.

Why?

Because that is insane. Because we've gotten in fights relentlessly. Because you do too many podcasts.

Can I pitch it?

Every fucking person on earth that's like, hey, Bob, come on my podcast. You're like, where is it? Where do I got to be? And then with this show it's like, when do we have this shoot, that's.

Not what, that's not what I do.

You do everybody's podcast.

I do this one as well and.

I do it with, this is the one that matters. I know this is the one.

Okay, can I pitch it though?

You know what this is like? This is like you're on.

It's upheld battle.

But you're on Johnny Carson. Every week you're on Johnny Carson and.

Johnny can do another show somewhere else. No, on Bravo or he does.

That's the point. He doesn't. You're fucking Johnny Carson. You have your own show. And instead you're like, maybe I should go check out what's going on.

Why can I stop, though?

No. Do a podcast with fucking Adam. Me. Get about Star Trek. Because when are you going to get around to be.

It's not as much. It's going to be more. Less frequent when we put it out like once a month.

No, I don't approve. Absolutely not.

Four times a year.

No.

Can we do one pilot?

You can't do any.

What if you produce it?

Interesting.

Because I'm telling you, it's not going to seep into our numbers. We're wearing Star Trek uniforms. The whole background is going to be Star Trek, and we're only going to talk about Star Trek.

I'm not hindering you. And I never have anyway, ever. For our whole life and career.

Come on.

All I'm saying. Please. It's just more.

Let me.

It's time that you don't have.

No, here's. Can I just.

It's time you don't have.

I'm going to go to Austin.

Okay. Then I'm going to do a podcast with DeStefano in the same amount of episodes you do.

It's got to be specific to a thing, though.

Yeah, sure. It'll be funny. It'll be a funny podcast.

No, but if it's like, we're going to do a podcast about, like, comedy.

It'Ll be about comedy.

90 day fiance. Then I'll be like, it's a specific thing.

Okay. I'll find some bullshit to make up for every episode you do with him. I'll do one with Chris.

Okay. I'm not doing it then.

Thank you. Also, Adam Egret. He has his hands full.

No, we've our dream. Who's producing that podcast?

Not you guys.

It was going to be Tom Segura.

Really? He said he wanted to do it. That's even funny.

Tom wants us to do it.

Well, here's the deal. You go do whatever it is that you want to do.

No, because if you're doing Distafano, I'm not going to do mine.

Interesting.

Yeah. Can I say something? You're saying that Adam Egot is DiStefano. You got to pick somebody at Adam Egot's fucking level.

They're the same.

It's not.

Chris owns a comedy club in New York just like Adam runs fucking Joe's.

Yeah, but Adam's not a fucking podcaster.

Neither is DiStefano.

Yes, he is.

No, he's.

He's a big name. So I'm saying, if I said, oh, I'm going to do one with, like.

Tom Arnold, fine, I'd love that.

Not Tom Arnold.

But, yeah, do it.

But that's different than.

I know, but this wasn't going to be a fucking tit for tat. This is going to be just. If you want to do your little nerd podcast and fly out to Austin and play dress up with him, then go do it.

Okay, you know what?

I'm going to go to.

No, no.

Get my apartment.

You're not getting an apartment there.

I am. And I'll fucking live in my little apartment with Chris and he'll come over and we'll have fun.

All right. If you move to New York, though, I'm not going out there to shoot episodes.

The fuck you're not. Yes, you are.

No, I'm not.

I'm flying you out.

I'm not flying out. No, I'm not flying out. What's that? The average weather in Austin. It's terrible. Oh, really? That's going to be a deterrent. Yeah. You like jungle shit? This is fucking like night. I like jungle shit. Go. How dare you, dude? You like tropics and jungle. I know that about you. I like all environments. I'm a mountaintop guy, too. I don't think you like Texas. I'm a mountain man.

You're not a mountain man.

Fuck you.

First of all, you're a mountain boy. You're not a mountain man.

Okay, I'll be boy.

You can't start a fire on your own. You can't pitch a tent.

Excuse me.

Can you catch and kill an animal in the wild and eat it?

And a butterfly.

How much protein is in a butterfly? Yeah, you'd last, like, 60 seconds.

No. You ever watch those? We talk about survival.

I love alone.

Yeah. I'm more of a fucking gatherer.

Oh. You know what I saw today on the Internet that blew my fucking mind?

I love it.

Google the amount of churches that are in the United States. This is crazy. This. I was on my car ride this morning. The amount of churches in the United States. Look at me. Guess before you see it. How many churches are in the United States? Do you.

Oh, my God.

I know it's tough, but guess it's a hard one.

Don't look.

Don't look.

Okay.

How many churches do you think exist? Just for perspective? There are. Google this. I think there's 15,000 McDonald's. How many McDonald's in the United States? This will give you perspective. Yeah. McDonald's. Because you see McDonald's everywhere.

Starbucks? Starbucks, too.

McDonald's currently has 36,000 restaurants in 101 hundred countries. That's the world. In the United States, 14,000 McDonald's. And they look like they're fucking everywhere. Everywhere. 14,000?

Yeah.

In the whole United States?

Yeah.

How many churches?

It can't be as much as that.

Guess.

12,000.

350,000. 350,000.

Oh, you just. All congregations?

I sent churches.

I was thinking about just, you know what I mean? Well, it's not zoroastrialism.

No, but look at that. Okay, so of those, 314,000 are protestant or Christian. So, yeah, it's almost all.

How many are Christian?

314, the majority. Dominant majority.

Shit, dude.

Not crazy.

I never been to one.

I know. We should start going to some.

Have you been to any of them?

Yeah. What do you mean? I've been to church.

Oh, yeah? You went, right.

I'm going to go back.

You went with, who'd you go with?

To church?

Yeah.

Did you recently go? No, I haven't gone in a long time with my family.

I've gone somebody, as a friend of mine, they just went.

I got invited to go to one of those new age church.

Oh, dumbfounded.

He goes, well, Koreans go to church.

You know why, though?

Because that's where you hook up.

That's where they are. He's, ma'am, I'm just going to look at different pool. Church.

No, that is where it is.

But he's saying, you would be surprised. I might go.

No, you should.

But then I have to do the whole thing. Pretend.

Pretend to listen.

No, to get them.

Maybe, you know what? Can I say something? Maybe you'll get something out of it. I'm about to start going to church.

You know, I'll go with you.

Will you really? I will suit up because I think it's important. We should try it.

I'll put the little hat on.

No, you're not going to wear a yamaga. That's insane.

Why?

Why don't you wear a samurai outfit to church?

Can I still have a yamaga?

Yes.

Okay, good.

If you wear the samurai outfit.

Yeah, I wear the samurai yamaga and two swords.

Will you go to synagogue with me? For real? Let's go.

Not a synagogue.

Why not?

Oh, with the yamaga?

Yeah.

No, I want to go to christian church with the yamaga.

Let's go to both.

But let's not wear the yamaga for the jewish one.

No, I think wear the yamaga.

Buddhist monk robes. Buddhist monk robes at the fucking well.

We better start growing our pubes out.

Oh, yeah.

Isn't that a whole thing with buddhist monks?

Yeah.

What is this?

All right, this guy got pulled over, and he had to call his girlfriend to convince her that it was the truth because she thought he was lying. Oh, God.

Joel got pulled over.

He's on his way home now.

Damn. What do I gotta lie about? He's not lying. He got pulled over.

He's good to go, though.

Jesus. Thank you. I don't understand. Rewind. I don't understand. What's going on?

This young kid got pulled over by the cops, and his girlfriend thought he was full of shit, and so he had the cop facetime her. Yeah, that's fucking hilarious.

I don't understand. Tell me that's a black guy and that's the cop that pulled him over. And then what is he saying to.

Who's that? That's little Yachty.

Okay?

That's little Yachty and that's Officer wackadoo.

Yeah. And who else? Who is he talking to on the phone?

Girlfriend.

And what is he saying to his girlfriend on the phone?

She doesn't believe he got pulled over. She thinks he's full of shit. He's out doing something.

Oh, it's because of pussy. She thinks that he's out getting pulled. Yeah.

You think he's.

Play it again. Now. Again? Use this. Okay. Go. Here.

He's not lying. He got pulled over.

He's good to go, though.

Jesus.

You had to get, like, the whitest nerd cop, too. It's like he did it. I pulled him over.

He looked like George.

Yeah. I saw him driving while black, and I had to pull him over.

What you want to be?

Hello, Tanisha? It's me, officer dosing. I pulled him over. I saw him flying in that scat pack or that hellcat zooming down the road. I had to pull him over, and I said, how could you afford death? These fucking guys. He gets, like, the whitest nerd fucking cop. Yeah, it's real. I pulled over your boyfriend, Denisha. He had to get him. Anyway, he's good to go, but he.

Had to explain to him what was going on, right.

To the cop.

Yeah. My girl thinks I'm hooking up right now.

Yeah. By the way, he didn't pan out to show the girl that's already in his car with him. It is a girl. That.

Is she holding it?

Yeah, she's filming the whole thing. His side piece is filming the whole fucking thing?

Yeah.

Oh, I've got a clip, but just.

Let me talk about this.

Yeah.

Do you want to be with a woman that's paranoid like that, though?

Well, how would you.

Right? You're constantly going, I know dudes that have to do that. Well, you know what?

We talked about this yesterday. I talked about when someone says it was like, would your wife let you go? Because I'm going to Scotland this year. And a friend said, could never. I said, well, look, I don't have kids, so it's not like I'm saying to her, hey, can you stay with the kids while I go to Scotland? It's me saying, I want to go to Scotland. And she goes, you should go. My budy goes, my wife would never let me. I said, do you have kids? No. I said, what do you mean she wouldn't let you go? Wouldn't. She'd be like, either I'm going or you're not going alone. And I was like, yeah, why would you get out of that? I don't understand, dude. But millions of people are like that. Millions of people have demand. Look, if you were sharing responsibility of children, different story.

Could I just say something? I'm so glad you brought this up.

Please.

All right, see, here's the deal. Okay? When I used to play video games, right?

It was like a day ago.

Two weeks ago.

Yeah.

I haven't done in two weeks because I'm trying to find a new game.

You say that two weeks has been like five days.

Oh, whatever.

Yeah.

I did a lit. Yesterday.

One work week yesterday.

A little bit. Can I just get back to my point?

Yeah.

All right. And so when I was with Kalila, she'd be like, 8 hours is enough, right?

Well, it's pretty reasonable to play. 8 hours is a lot of it.

It's not. Not the kind of games I play. And I think what you guys are doing right now is you're not educated.

Okay?

You're not educated.

Educate us.

Everyone in this room is not educated.

8 hours is how long people go to work for.

I understand that, but the thing is, the things I have to do in that 8 hours is a lot.

Okay.

You know what I mean? Rank up.

Rank up.

I have to explore caves.

Rank up.

I mean, I have to design my house.

Look at this. I'm okay with it.

Thank you.

Golf takes a long time, right?

So my thing was, one day I looked at colonial. I goes, you like the beach, right?

She does. She loves.

Yeah. And I go, if you were at the beach for 8 hours, I wouldn't be like, hey, 8 hours. In fact, you could call me and go listen, for a month, I'm going to go to the Fiji islands and go deep. You want me to pay for it? I don't give a fuck.

I don't think you should pay for it. But I'm just saying. My point is that I agree with your point. You to be happy.

If that's something that you want to do to be happy, then I'm going to support it. Okay, but when it comes to video games, it's a whole to do.

I agree with you. Look at this. Look at me. I'm on your.

Are you on my side? Everyone on my side.

Everyone is.

Thank you.

But let me say like this, the reason it gets a bad rap, and you know, I'm pro, video games.

Yeah.

The reason it gets a bad rap is because if I go to play golf and it takes three and a half hours to four, that's a long time, but it's because I'm leaving and it's separate. But video games gets a bad rap with her because you're in the same house as her, but you're paying no attention to her.

Get a different apartment.

Get a different apartment for video games. If you're a guy who loves video games, get a separate apartment for video games.

And then you go, I'm going off.

No, but let's be real.

Play video games.

Financially, let's be real. That's an insane thing. Yeah, but there should be a place for people to go to play video games outside of their house, collectively in a room. You don't have to talk to each, just. There's video game consoles there. Should we open up Bobby Lee's getaway? Bobby Lee's video.

That's really like a man.

Well, arcades used to exist, but no one does arcades anymore.

But you can go, we have your own little.

They have this in Japan area. In Japan. They're all over the place.

I know. And you can play whatever game you want.

You don't have to talk, smoke cigarettes, you drink Red Bull.

We saw all kinds of fun candies.

What's it called? Shirajuku? No, Whatever. In Japan?

Yeah.

What's the one with all the hookers? What's the hooker one? Shibuya. You can get hookers.

Okay. Upstairs we do have private rooms.

Relaxation rooms.

Relaxation rooms?

Right.

For the ones that want to get like, funky with it.

Relaxed? Yeah, they want to get relaxed.

We'll have those girls.

Yeah.

What else do we have there at.

The video game place?

It's not a video game place, it's a getaway.

Bobby Lee's getaway?

Yeah. Man cave getaway, man.

No, it doesn't have to be for men. It's a Bobby Lee's getaway.

Women can go, of course.

Why can't they? Women play video games.

It's illegal not to let them in. Oh, it is? Yeah. Well, Christians do it when it comes to cakes.

For now. For now. It's illegal till we change it.

Remember the gay couple that was getting married? They went in Colorado and they went, try to get a cake, and they go, we're not going to serve you because you're gay. Why can't we do that with a man cave? You'll probably get sued in California.

Yeah, you get sued here. We have to open it up somewhere. We'll go to Texas.

Yes. They're not going to sue us there, dude, in Texas. Smash burgers we have there.

Smash burger?

Yeah. Fanta grape drinks.

Only grape. Can we get other kinds?

Diet.

Diet grape.

Okay. What else do we have there? We have.

You know what I think we should have?

What?

An indoor trampoline. Just to bounce out some of that. No, bounce it out.

So much space.

What do you mean? Costly? Yeah, we bought a fucking. It's 50,000 place. We got.

No, we get a gigantic. You know, the swimming pool out. Swimming pool with the tub. The inflatable swimming pool. We put fucking oil in it.

What?

Yeah. So what is imagine, Nick? What? Oil. Gigantic.

A vat of oil?

Yeah. In a fucking. Right. And you can wrestle.

I don't like this.

What?

Why a swimming pool with oil in it?

No, it's like an inflatable one.

Oh, a little baby one.

Yeah. No, you blow it up, right?

Yeah. Keep.

You put oil in it.

You see how you blow it again. What if you suck some of it back out just in case? There it is.

Right. And then if you're asian, you can use fucking sesame oil. Whatever you want.

Well, it burns at a higher rate.

No, you're not burning it, you're wrestling in it.

Well, when you're done, you want to cook something. I'm starving.

All right, we waste.

Tip it over and use the fucking idea.

You don't think that's a good idea? Is that a good idea?

It's a great idea.

Thank you.

But I am going to cook in it when I'm done with it and above it.

Like one of those disco balls. I've always wanted one of those.

It's so cheesy.

Above the fucking.

It's just cheesy.

Oh, you're right. How about can we get, like.

I'll do it.

Like gigantic lava lamps.

Yes.

That's not cheesy.

No. And you know what? I want dildos all over the place.

No. Why?

Just in case somebody needs one.

Right.

They're there in case you need them. Don't use them. But if you need it, it's like, in case of emergency. In case of emergency, break ass.

And then downstairs we have a bad room. If you've been a bad boy.

Careful.

What? Careful. What?

Bad boy. What's going on down there?

Very, very.

What's going on down there?

Lots of things.

You're being a bad boy if you.

Want me to be. But downstairs, like a BDSM room, I don't know. What is this?

Now you're a boom mic operator?

What?

What are you doing? Oh, yeah, like the scene in Pulp Fiction. Is that what's going on down there?

Yeah, but not with the blood. It's not going to get violent.

One of the best scenes.

It's one of the best scenes.

And that. The gimp was my favorite.

Yeah. And then the guy that plays. What? Z. What's his name?

Zed. Zed's dead, baby.

I yelled at him once in the.

Or was he talking?

No, he was completely passed out. And I snapped. I go, Zed. He got up, I go, what the fuck, dude? I saw your movie. Yeah, something like that. And he got like. He was like that guy, Peter Green. Peter Green. Great, talented guy.

Up to.

What a great.

What's Peter up to today? Can we find out on his IMDb? We should get him on bad friends.

I love that guy.

What's he doing right now? Upcoming. He's got a lot going on. Holy shit, this kid's working a lot.

Working last year.

Yeah. That always makes me emotional when I see people have 30 upcomings and I'm.

Like, wow, I went on a date with a girl and she said she has never seen pulp fiction. Is that a red flag?

100% to me it is. I have no business with you.

Is that a red flag? How old is she exactly? 32. Red flag.

Wait a minute. I don't give a fuck if she's 25. She should know pulp fiction.

Never seen it.

Pulp fiction.

I know.

Yeah, that's a breakup.

Well, she never seen raising Arizona, which is.

That's understandable. That's much older, right?

She never saw tenon bombs or Rushmore.

Much older.

Okay, she never saw reservation. But then when I said pulp fiction, she goes, never seen it. And I go, it's such an iconic movie.

It's an iconic social zeitgeist. It's like saying, I bet you a 20 year old still knows who the Beatles are. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Something you should know.

Yeah, pulp fiction for sure.

So if you're listening, lady, you know who I'm talking about. Watch it.

Watch it.

Now, next time I see you.

Oh, so before the next time you see her.

Yeah. You better have watched it.

And you get some of the line. I want you to memorize some of the lines.

Yeah. It's really just, I mean, raise your hand if you think it's a great movie.

What?

It's not even a. I was just wondering.

It's like an afterthought.

Anyway, let's move on. Have you seen the trailer?

No.

Please watch the trailer. Oh, I don't think our building takes pets. Hello? What?

Hello. You want a cat brand? I own fire brands. He likes Suey.

Yeah. Keep the change. Let's do this.

How you doing? Wait a minute. When does this come out? Was it in theaters?

Yeah.

I want to see how much this made. Nine lives.

Well, look at, by the way, Ron tomatoes. See what? Ron tomatoes.

It was Jennifer Gardner.

Yeah.

Cheryl Hines. Yeah. Christopher fucking Walker. Kevin Spacey.

Yeah.

Huge.

Yeah.

Budget was 30 million and it made $6 million.

Oh my God.

And by the way, when it says 30 million.

Yeah.

Oh, this says domestic, worldwide, it made 57. Yeah.

Broke even.

Not even. No way.

Give me the rotten tomatoes.

Wow. All right, I take it back up a little bit. I do love Christopher Walker. I just don't like that. No, but I just don't like that. Everyone's not bad. They're not bad.

14%.

That's about what some of my movies.

Your movie range?

Yeah. My movie range, 41%. This kind of works.

You know? We're not going to do your movie now.

No, he was making fun of me.

No, I don't care. I don't like your smug fucking. We're not doing your movie, dude. What? Look at the reviews. Oh my God.

I take it back. I love Chris and Walken. You know what it is?

Yeah.

I just don't like that. Everyone does an impression.

I know.

It's just too many people. It's just too many people doing the impression.

Can you do it?

Everyone can.

Everyone can to some degree.

Yeah.

I'm Christopher Walken.

Right. Hello. This watch up his ass. Like, everyone has a zazz. A version of it.

All right. Thank you for being a bad friend for that. Death woo. Death woo. Death.