I'm like your mom, and then I'm like, oh, good idea that you tried to make out with in high school and you're like, I'm gay, you know, or whatever. Wow, wow, wow. Here we are. Well, I got to say, I thought I thought I don't even know where to start.
I thought we'd been through some fuckin weeks in twenty 20 that were years. And then last week happened. And I don't know where where this week is happening.
By the time this podcast, again, like last week, we made this disclaimer, hey, we're prerecording this. And by the time you hear this, a lot of shit will have happened and a lot of shit did happen. But now same deal like this is going to come out in 48 hours.
And like, who knows what those forty eight hours I'm hearing on Wednesday is when they're supposed to vote on the articles of impeachment. And it's like, I don't know, man.
Well, guys, thanks to those of you at home who maybe found some solace or relief in our insane ignorance of what was about to transpire in our country last week, because we were just merrily talking about how we didn't know what was about to happen.
But we were talking, talking, dad, you guys like your dad is what we were talking about.
You know, being that I'm a very person because all the person in twenty twenty one who's done it right. Because everything he did was before the coup. We don't give a fuck about him. If you wanted to fuck up in twenty twenty one, January 1st to the 5th was your time. You missed it. Hilaria Baldwin. You fucking nailed it. Nailed it. We don't have it. Who is it. What did she do again. I don't remember.
Yeah truly. Now that never bothered I on the get canceled then the beginning of the year this year because we were like being that get the fuck out of here.
We got, we have some issues and now I'm like and now I'm like, what. Who when. That was just a week ago. As of right now, today, when we're recording this currently the State Department website says Donald Trump's presidency ended January 11th, 2021. Wait, why does his.
So I think people are like, is that a hack? Did it. Wow. It is a hack because I was doing scrolling and a disgruntled State Department worker did that. And now they are launching an investigation into all interns and lower level people who should be exiting once this presidency is over to try to find out who among them did that.
Wait, you said instigation, which is perfect Posada investigation. Yeah, an investigation.
But also, like, should we be investigating that right now? Also, just like shout out to the Biden administration social media team who just keeps posting things like the work of the next four years must be the restoration of democracy and the recovery of the respect of the rule of law and the renewal of a politics that's about solving problems, not stoking the flames of hate and chaos. Like every ten minutes they're like in 15 days we begin to heal.
I feel like it's the recording reminding you to keep like your arms and hands and on. Oh yeah. Over at the airport, just being like, just help is on the way.
Help is on the like. Literally said that one time he was like, help is on the way. I will help you in the 15 days. And you're like, OK, cool. Like, oh my God, I'm so tired. Like I truly just is just like some black shit. Real quick. I don't know how any black person before now has ever lived. I had to call my grandma. I don't know how she lived. I wish my great grandma was alive.
She was born in like nineteen twelve. Oh no I had no hey, I did it because today the white supremacy is pretty bad. Eighteen, twelve fucking nineteen fifties like nineteen thirty five. It was just people walking around in Klan fucking hoods and stuff like seriously how is anybody do anything. People just go to work. And it was just people, you know, Klansmen just walking around.
But I, I think that around the time of the great conjunction when the talk was about the black, all the black American people are going to get their superpowers, remember? Yeah, I'm like, then that was fuckin. And then some black and white supremacist Karen Bitch, like, posted some stupid ticktock. And I don't know if you saw this. I don't know who I can't remember who it was. The someone I follow on Instagram posted the response to it, which was essentially like.
Oh, I'm so sorry. But like. Black people in this country have endured this and this and this and this and this and this, and in spite of all of it, in spite of all of these things that white people have tried to do to oppress and hold them back and down and whatever, have become like leading leaders of our communities and doctors and like whatever they are, fucking superheroes. The fact that you exist in this space is in spite of what I said, and we don't want to go on Twitter and have fun on black Twitter.
Yeah, I mean, you guys have the only good Twitter. Yeah. It's just been like I've been watching it and just being like, well, I, I talked to my grandmother, who is 78, who I, I believe Ruby Bridges is like sixty six. So she's like 12 years older than Ruby Bridges, but people always are like Ruby Bridges is so old, black and white photos like Ruby Bridges on Instagram. So we can ask your question.
Did your did your family grow up like are you from from Florida? Is that where your people are? Like yours? Where I'm from Florida. Well, we're like Jamaican, but like not in the way that like, I would ever tell anybody I'm Jamaican, like, I'm not Jamaican. That struck me as, you know, like people who are like Irish. They're like, yeah, they're like, I'm Irish. And it's like, no, you're not.
You're from fucking Illinois, right? Well, that's me. People always ask. They're like, where's your what's your family? I was like, I don't know, do it. Fucking Chicago. Yeah. You know, we're Floridian. And I had to do, like, kind of a project when I was like in middle school and like, we are Jamaican in quotation marks, but like we that we don't go to Jamaica. I would never, ever, ever say I'm Jamaican because like I'm like, oh, cultural.
You have no cultural connection to that. It's just like at some point in time my people were in Jamaica, but we are Floridian like we grew up in Florida. My grandparents went to segregated schools, my aunts and uncles integrated high schools. My parents were the first in their family to go to schools that were like started already integrated. Like everybody's always like the times. I was like I talked to my grandma about how she went to school in a one room building with all little black kids.
And like I used to watch Grenvilles. Yeah, she. When is Grandma always zooming in? We don't know how to use Zoom. She barely know how to use FaceTime if she had face time. You want to know what you see her for you. That's it. Not a whole face. And forget they've got the same style, just like straight up forehead. I mean, my grandma told me stories about how like they used to walk home from school past the white school and they would throw rocks at them.
So I like this idea that it was gone. They were just satisfied, I guess at the moment for all the suppression, they killed all our fucking leaders. And then the seventies, everybody was like, let's do cocaine and relax. And now we like we're like, you know what? Actually, we would like to vote now. And the shit is hitting the fucking fan. And I think that, like, I don't know, we really have to reckon with not our past with our president.
Everybody keeps saying that it's so far away. We need to reckon with what happened on Wednesday because we did not reckon with reconstruction. We had all those clansman because we did not reckon with all those clansman in the sixties. We have all these fucking proud boys. And that's things like the Housing the Housing Act and like it and the Voters Right Act. And it's like all of this. We have been so nice. Democrats are so fucking nice. We've been like, OK, we're like, we're going to follow the rules.
But like there are no rules, there is no precedent. So like just understand that, like, we are not reckoning with some surprise. We are reckoning with the present. That's correct.
The two things that really bother me are when people say that, first of all, history won't look kindly on this person.
And I'm like, who gives a shit? I don't care about how I'll be dead. You'll be dead. Let's not wait for history to look unkindly on this. Yeah. And then second of all, I really despise when people say, you know, when something is happening and there's like this like racist uprising and disturbance in society and people are like, that's just the last gasp of the old guard. And there that's their death rattle. And they can feel their power slipping away.
And I'm like, no, I saw those guys in khakis with tiki torches marching and they were my son's age. You're making new racist's every day. Nothing is dying out. I do want to say I still am with you. A. though that we have the numbers for good. I do think there are more of more good people than those young. Ugly fucking Dockers wearing torch assholes. I think so, too, and I think I mean, obviously, the election showed that we, you know, that people that want progress outnumber people who do not want progress.
I think the issue comes in when people who don't want progress and they want to actually regress to another time when things weren't good. They're willing to storm the Capitol.
Yeah, they're really willing to play my window and get shot. Whereas on, you know, people that do want progress, I think a lot of us are like, let's be unified and like, let's, you know, look like let's not be rude to each other. And I'm like, and I get it. I understand. Like, because I know a lot of people are like unity. Fuck that. And I get it. I feel that way, too.
I also get that we're in the good position that we're in because of Republicans with integrity.
If I don't believe that, I think we're going to become a couple because of black people. I don't give Republicans any credit for anything. I think they're all trash, all the. Well, here's what I want to say.
Here's what I want to say. I agree with you. Black voters voted the way that they did, and that's a huge black. Organizers made sure that black voters were able to get there and fucking do it. Yes. But in Georgia, where we were relying on those elections, those runoff elections, if Repub if elected Republican officials had decided to circumvent and find eleven thousand votes, yes. Then we would not be in the position that we're in right now.
So when we're talking about, like unity or whatever, I, you know, give like a gentle nod to those couple of Republicans in Georgia who were like, listen, I don't like this. It goes against what I wish was happening. But the shred of integrity that I have is making me say that they won this election fair and square and we have to move forward. So, like, thank God for that because because you're right here, there are no rules anymore.
So if whoever those guys in Georgia had been like, oh, yeah, we're just going to set a bunch of ballots on fire and make it come out the way we want it to come out, they probably could have. I don't I don't know why. I mean, like, I kind of know why, but I would say. I don't know and I don't know why they did what they did, but I do not think it was for the Republic, I think it was for them.
I still give them no credit. I genuinely, genuinely believe that because even ol boy, what's his name, Raffensperger or whatever Fargus name he was like, Trump threatened me. That is why I said something.
So like he wasn't even going to say anything about that phone call. So I don't trust those bitches. And then also truly what Casey said about like history, like also a history remembers them fondly. Baby, that fucking you can go to Florida right now and get a Confederate flag fucking anything. You can literally get anything. I can get it. You can get a car. You get a tag just in twenty twenty. Mississippi, the blackest state in the union, took the fucking rebel flag out of their actual state flag.
So like history, it's just being rewritten constantly. We do. We have so many schools named after fucking General Lee.
I mean, like it's just like propaganda and how like we as a country are so, so, so, so like up our butts about like other countries having propaganda. But I'm like, yo, America has yellow propaganda. We like do not like talk about that fucking Confederate flag enough. We like don't talk about it.
It should be like it has to get gone. It has to be illegal. They have to do what Nazi Germany did.
I also give me some reparations.
Yeah. Shinta, yeah. My middle school in Massachusetts, in Massachusetts, not the South. Massachusetts was named after just like a local important guy in history.
Nobody knows who he is except for people in my town. But my middle school mascot was a rebel carrying a Confederate flag.
Why? Why, and there was like a significant portion of the the school young non-white kids, a lot of black kids went to that school and it was just like I was stupid. I was in sixth grade. I was ignorant. I didn't even know what that was until later. But like, who thought that was?
It's so much it's so weird to because I think obviously a lot of people were scared. One of the things, too, is like they don't seem very scared. Like everybody I know was like terrified. We're all like, oh, my gosh, all these people are like doing race races, uprising and trying to burn down Capitol buildings. And they're all like, we're mad. And all of us are like, we're very scared. So I think that if you could be this scared in like an age where, like, I can literally videotape anybody doing anything, I can only imagine that, like when that school, like, was created, I bet you a bunch of people were like, I don't like that flag.
And the one person who really wanted that flag was violent as fuck. And then they were like, oh, yeah, OK. Because that's what it's been like. It's been like them being so violent. Right. Well, that's the whole thing with the abortion stuff, too. Right. Like which is that, you know, for so long, the anti choice side not just was like louder, they were fucking scary. They they would go to these clinics and shoot doctors in the head.
They would put bombs at Planned Parenthood's. They were terrifying. No wonder women didn't want to talk about legitimate medical procedures that they were going through because it's terrifying. There was a woman on line. It's a nurse who said that she used to work at Planned Parenthood and that a church rented out the building next door and then started a radio broadcast. And any time they would drive into the Planned Parenthood, they would announce over the AM radio that the nurse had arrived, what car they drove in and their license plate.
So I think everyone needs to like really I know it's really hard. And I think white America especially is to have a reckoning with the amount of violence. And violence isn't even necessarily physical, the amount of verbal, emotional and mental violence.
This is violence. Everybody at home watching people break into the capital and knowing and knowing that if those were black and brown people, that they would have been shot on sight, that they wouldn't even have gotten that done right. So like to know that, like, at any given time, if you were to fight for what is right, you will be killed.
And for someone to want to kill you is wrong to be walked down the stairs. A woman was her hand was held while she walked down the stairs as she left the Capitol. Right. So like this is violent. So any time during all of this, if you're like, I feel really bad, you are going through trauma. This is traumatic. Yeah. Everybody wants you still to go back to work. You are literally working through trauma like capitalism blows.
And I just know that, like, you're not crazy. This is violence. It is like traumatic. And we've we've also been Guesclin because so many times along the way, people have said this is scary. He's a fascist. We are moving toward fascism. And so many times people on the right who are more moderate, but also people on the left are also people on the Larry, on the very far left have said, calm down, it's not going to be that bad.
You're going to wake up tomorrow. The sun's going to rise.
And yes, this gender matter. Yeah, mostly I'm going to say that, you know, and why is gender straight women to just be like, calm down, you know, like, let's not blow this out of proportion? No, it's time to like, what's the opposite of calm down. It's time to wrap. Yeah. You know what I mean. Like like people could not have told us more times. Like, here's a checklist of like the steps to succeeding at fascism.
You're on like number nine of ten.
And so many people are just like, yeah, but like The Bachelor is on and and I get it.
Like people need a break. People need a break. But it's just that's why you have this podcast. Yes. And I have to walk and chew gum at the same time.
But, you know, it's funny Shinta. You were saying, like, how violent they are and how, you know, but it's also funny how soft they are. Oh, my God. I'm like, they get arrested.
I was storming the Capitol and they messed me.
I was like, do you see the onion and onion? She was rubbing her eyes with an onion so that she could be on TV. What is up with these fucking people? Well, I read that they brought. We've got an onion helps with creative tear gas that doesn't make any sense. That's like saying that fire helps put out fire. I don't know why you would think that, but they think a lot of things, don't they? They think that people are lizards.
So I don't know. I don't know. But it's it has been wild to me to see these, like, people getting taken off of airplanes. Very interesting to watch them like bees. I mean, if you have the chance, you should watch Joy, Joy and read that a really great clip about, like, why people just like are not afraid of the police at all. Like they did all that stuff, killed a police officer who was a Trump supporter and then went back to their hotels.
They were looking at the camera being like, hello, my name is Dave. I live in Wisconsin. Right. And I stormed the Capitol. Good night, folks. And it's like I await what I get stressed out when I fill out a W nine. So I'm always like, am I putting the right amount of taxes here?
And they went and said that they wanted to go kill Nancy Pelosi. No mass. I was like the bare minimum of committing a crime, one on one foot, the pandemic wear a mask. But everybody knows that. I mean, just fucking put the pandemic fuck commit crime one on one, crime one on one. Even if you like being a little bandit, a little bandana. Yeah. Even if you don't believe in covid, you're given a total cover to wear a mask and get away with your crime instead of it's truly I mean it I don't know, it's not shocking and not surprising in so many ways because this is exactly what everyone has been talking about for years.
And I believed and we believed it and we believed and also in the last six months especially and I think the. To see it so brashly displayed white privilege in that way, entitlement in that way, like, you know, their privacy, white supremacy. I mean, I think at that point it's past white privilege because, like, I feel like, oh, it's white supremacy for sure. It's just that they are straight up white supremacist. Now, I would I would prefer privilege.
Well, for sure. But I mean, but the but that that feeling of like I can go anywhere and do anything, no one is going to stop me like dangi, you know, as a young woman in my in my teen years have been stopped by police before. And I was like, fuck, you know what, you know, like not really fuck you but like just like attitude. Yeah. I probably could have been like, fuck you, you know what I mean.
It like never been to a Cubs game in Chicago. You have seen many a white lady scream, fuck you at the wedding. I'm just saying, like, when I was a kid, when I was like a teen girl, I was always just like, what are you going to do to me? You know, like in Scottsdale, Arizona, driving my Honda Civic. But I mean, that's like that's the attitude. Backed by their white supremacy and their anti-Semitism and their racism and their, you know, just like abject belief that they are like insane things that they are holding on to are true, like lizard people and fucking pizza gates allies.
It's a lie and touch. And then to see Alex Jones, to see Alex Jones yelling at a kuhnen person about how crazy they are. And I'm just like, what? I don't know. We're like, we are the rain we live.
I don't know how long this has been tough with kids in a lot of ways.
Obviously, last week was really, really fucking tough in my house. And that day especially, I was at work and. I was really upset and had to finish. Being hysterical, hysterically funny, I'm kidding. Do you think Casey is fake? She was like kind of not paying attention and then she just like looked up like I'm talking about. I thought it was funny. It's the weirdest thing ever when you do these things, like when you make television shows to when big world events happen and they're like, OK, but we still need to finish season 13.
So and you know, and you're just like, OK, like you have to go back and like it's not like, I don't know, there's nothing comparable to it because it's like any other job in the world you can kind of like you might have to have a meeting below a bar. But in my job you lit like I literally had to go, like, be a fucking idiot and like, say, ridiculous, you know what I mean?
And I got a call from my agent in the middle of the coup and they were like, listen, I know it's a coup, but like, you have to sign this today.
I know it's you. Well, I didn't say that, but they called and I was like, yeah, it's a coup. And they were like, we know, but we have to call you about this. We're about to send you some paperwork, they say. And then I just signed paperwork during the coup when 9/11 happened, I was standing with the cast of Everybody Loves Raymond, watching a television as like the planes flew into, like the World Trade Center just blocks from us.
And they were like, holy shit, is this real? And I was like, and then like our production manager came around and was like, we're just go back to your desk and sit tight and we're going to decide if we're going to go forward with the show or not. And I was like, I'm leaving.
I leave this landmark building and go be somewhere safe. That's not a high rise. Like, yeah, they were just like, yeah, we know it's 9/11, but just let's I mean, entertainment is wild in that way. It's just a really. Yeah, it's really bonkers. But I came home that night, I mean like everybody whatever. I was looking like some, I was in like kind of like a fugue state and got home that night not too late and was just like sobbing and then was like watching as they as the as the House and the Senate returned and like was kind of like watching some of the speeches and things and then but also like trying to not freak out the kids or whatever.
And then I went up to Byrd's room and. And Britney was like, you know, this is what's so funny about having, like basically a teenager is that they assume that you're a fucking idiot all the time and that you don't know.
And like you don't know what's happening in the world, you know what I mean? Or maybe that's just my teenager, but I think it's kind of universal. And so Birdie said, did you see what happened today? Also, kind of honestly, to be fair, I was at work all day, so maybe he doesn't know, maybe whatever. Anyway, did you see what happened today? And I was like, yeah, of course. It's like it's fucking insane.
This is like historic and it's bonkers and it's really upsetting, you know, are you OK? And they're like, Yeah.
I mean, they want us all dead, right? And I was like, I know, so this is where I I mean, whatever I had talked about in therapy today, so I like process.
I won't cry right now, but I just was, like, so exhausted whenever. And I was like, well, yeah. I mean, obviously your dad was Jewish and you and Crickett Jewish and me abortion. So. Yeah. And then he was like, yeah. And also me double. And I was like, oh yeah. Yeah I guess so. Huh. And I wasn't like, I know that, like in that moment, like what I should have probably done was still realized that they're a child, a child and like said something.
I think that she did it absolutely right. I think that's absolutely right. It's hard to say. Like, I knew I was black and I was in danger from the time I was five. Right. Right. Brady knows that they're in danger. And too, you don't get you don't get to be a kid when you're in danger like you already know. So like, I know I'm not a parent, but as a child of a parent who had to make me fully aware that there were people who wanted to kill me so that I could live a life where I was safe, I don't know how to how a parent does that, but like every little black kid sits down and has to talk about the cops and everybody is like, they want to kill me.
They're Jewish, they're queer, they're woman. And they also have parents who speak out about injustice. I mean, like if Berdy just walked around and never said anything, people are going to be mad that they're in a house with people who speak truth to power. So, like, yeah, tell the truth because that's the truth so that when we go out into the world, we know we know the truth because all those people have spent their whole lives being lied to, which is a big problem.
So that's what I think. By the way, you're mentioning Birdie's a child. We have children go through active shooter drills in schools. When we were children, we had drills where we got under our desks to protect us from a nuclear bomb like a desk is going to protect you. So like there's something to be said for being prepared and not being delusional and being honest. Like those kids not know what those drills are for.
Yeah, they know what those jobs are for. And they know you know, they we're already asking them to be wise beyond their years and learn how to save their own lives.
But I guess the bigger I guess for me what I wish. What I wish I would have, I was just too fucking tired in that moment, but I wish what I. And we had conversations later in the week, I wish what I would have added in that moment, his birdie ended up having a really rough night, you know, was I wish I would have said, but like. We're not going to fucking let that happen and we're going to fight, yeah, twice as hard as and also and I did say later to them, I was like, you know what we have on our side, right?
Birdie and birdie was like, we're right. And I was like, well, yes. But also we have truth and like and and we have knowledge and we have critical thinking and we have problem solving. And we have like all of these other things that aren't just brute violence at our disposal. So I'm not going to let anyone physically fuck with. I mean, I would. God bless anyone who fucking tried with me, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I would not want is all I'm saying is it takes those nails. Would you pop? Pop? No, actually, I sound like a big video. I'm not trying to get kicked.
I have like a I'm very strong guys and I fight real dirty.
You know, if you grab and twist balls, that motherfucker can be holding a bayonet and it will drop out. All you got to do is you grab as hard as you can with the nails, pull and twist. That's it. That's all you need to know. It's it's smart. That's good to know. That's good to know. But also, it's it is kind of like delusional thinking like this is I don't even know if I should say this, but did you watch that woman, the one woman who is she got shot.
Yeah. Yeah, I watched the video. She looked fucking shocked. She looked shocked like she did not believe that that just happened. And I get it like she thought that she was just going to be allowed to storm the Capitol. But I just think like that police officer who was a Trump supporter, I'm sure he was shocked that it went that way.
And he had he had everything at his disposal to sort of theoretically be able to defend himself. But that's where I'm like, what is everyone thinking? Like, everyone so scared, they're coming to take our guns. They're coming to do this. They're coming to take this away from us. If the government wanted to crush any of us, they could like my house could be vaporized in one second if that's what the US government wants to dav they have fully done that the fucking bombing.
And like, I think it's what is it, Philadelphia, where they just bombed a blast. They just bonded and then they lied this year. Last year, they were like, we did bomb that neighborhood. We are sorry. Like the idea that, like, the government couldn't do whatever they wanted, like the FBI infiltrated the Black Panthers, like, let's be fucking serious. They have the willpower and the manpower to do whatever they want. But it's been very obvious that they only want to do it to people who are not white.
That is what I have seen in this government. We can stop every Muslim who ever goes to the airport and make them take off every hijab and go through every fucking afro in the fucking place. Right. They said they were going to kidnap the governor of Michigan and they didn't do anything. I know.
Also, I read an interesting thing from someone I follow. I follow too many people at this point. Now, I don't know who it is. I can never properly give credit in this moment right now unless I scroll through it. Then I fucking find it. But I'm not going to do that because that's just like telling someone about your dream. It's just fucking boring. It's just boring. But basically what they were saying, it's a it's a black educator woman and I can't remember who it is that I followed that said does, but they were like, please, let's stop using the word terrorist, even white supremacist terrorists take the word terrorist out of it.
Because what we don't want is for the government to then put more funding into anti-terrorism, which disproportionately targets black and brown bodies. And that was a thing that I never that did not occur to me. But then having that put so plainly that in the coming weeks, months and years, hopefully we're going to see some real consequences to what this thing was. But what we don't want to see are.
Any sort of like more legislation and funding being put into sort of an umbrella term like anti-terrorism, because we already know the systems that are in place for that are basically white supremacist systems that, you know, whatever.
So we're just so it's so wise because when you think like the reason everybody's using the word terrorism is because it's like emotional. We've seen people called terrorists who have not been terrorists. We've seen people be painted with that brush. And so it feels almost cathartic out of frustration to say, see, no, look, these are who the terrorists are. These are. But we can't you know, we can't be emotional like that because I guess you feel like by saying this is who the terrorists are, you feel like you're going to convince someone.
Like someone's going to go, oh, you know what? You are right. My husband, Kleve, is a terrorist now that you mention it. But there is no convincing people. So so you have to, like, take the emotion out of it.
I mean, I think one of the things, too, is that we.
I mean, like on some like I saw this meme and it really like I feel like I'm an abolitionist, I want to abolish the prison system because it's just like slave labor. But then I see them get arrested and I'm like horny for justice. So, like, I, I'm just like, oh, well, white supremacists getting arrested.
This is my kid.
I saw, like, people that were like, fuck the police except this policeman right here. Thank you, sir. Well, that guy the guy at the US Capitol Police officer Eugene Goodman. Yeah, that guy. Yeah. Well, that's not we don't want to fuck that guy. We love that guy. We'll also be like. Do we? I don't know. Is that I mean, like, here's the thing. Like I am like please don't bother me.
I really don't have the time. We're in the middle of a pandemic, but I am like very antipolice. Yeah, me too. If they're black, even if they're black, because here's a thing like that black there. They interviewed two black police officers. And I think this is that thing where they're like, if I become a cop, I can help from the inside those that cop got called a nigger 15 times that day. So this idea that becoming that becoming the oppressor can somehow.
You can stop the oppression, it's just not true, you could put that uniform on and that man did save the Senate, but the Senate has also abandoned us.
So those men said that their supervisors abandoned them, that they were calling on the radios for help and they were abandoned. So this idea that like, yes, Eugene Goodman, he got he saved all those people. But at the end of the day, he is still a black man who got abandoned by his institution and by his government. So but please, while we still have the institution of policing, please arrest all these white people. And then if we're going to abolish it, I'm on board.
Figure something out. But I do not think it will be abolished in my lifetime. I would love to be proven wrong, but if we are not abolishing something, we should definitely, definitely be changing it. And this is the first time also that like these people have suffered any consequences. I like I'm confused about this lifestyle. Like they are like I'm not allowed to fly on this plane and I'm like, you're not allowed to fly on the plane.
Like, have you never been disciplined in before? I know, ever.
But guys, let's bring it back to being dad. You know, maybe he had a point.
I'm sorry. I just I wasn't easy. It was an easy guy.
I'm like this all the time and sorry, don't don't come for me.
I know every time my mom was like, well, here's the thing. You can't come for me if you want. I will not respond. So I just want you to know you should fully say don't waste your time.
I think for a lot of people I talked about it on the podcast today, the start of the New Year feels like the right time to schedule your doctor's appointments and check in with where you're at healthwise.
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You guys, I don't know what something nice that's going on is happening, but there's nice. Oh, guess what, what?
What. Because my sister is so good at figuring shit out. My parents have an appointment to get their vaccines on Friday.
Yay, Arizona released their thing, their list or the appointment thing or whatever. And Leeann's very you know, you guys know. Oh, very handy with the computer, with a navigating the things. She's a real Gen Xers and that's why she's the one that like, here's the thing. I don't want to throw a party, but I love to go to a party leader. Should throw the party like she. Nobody's going to be late. The cake's going to be on time.
She only person that's ever late is LeAnn. That's the thing. Like LeAnn can organize everything and then she's like, sorry, I'll be there in like 20. But the party is going and our Dervaes are hot. She LeAnn could be like a private investigator. I always like she's wild. She can solve any crime. She can figure out how to do anything.
She and I apparently it was like actually sort of difficult to figure out. And you're asking like elderly people to figure something like that across the health website registration system. LeAnn, just click and Clack did it. And my parents got that appointment for Friday and I'm so, so thrilled is there for obviously their first appointment. They'll need two vaccines. But like, you know, my parents are a bit older.
Yeah, I'm very young for my age. So that's really exciting. I love that. Wait, did I talk about LeAnn having covered on the podcast or do we cut it out? Yeah, but we cut that out and we cut it out. Well, my sister did have covered. It was terrible, but she's fine. I mean, it was she was fine, my sister did have covered everybody is fine and. She went to donate her.
Platelets, plasma, whatever, the plasma, convalescent plasma per convalescent plasma and it was deemed. That they can't use it because they identified a thing in it that's an autoimmune. Disease that she thinks I might have won. And it's like weirdly very rare, but guys, are you ready for this? Here are the like markers of it. Irritable bowel syndrome. Early onset arthritis, you guys, I have early onset arthritis in my knees, in case you didn't know.
I don't think I talk about it that much.
Do I know you just said I have. I haven't heard about the exactly what it is specifically, but I know that you trampoline for your knees. That's right. Yeah. So it's because I have early onset arthritis in both my knees and like, I had knee injuries earlier in my life, whatever. And then there was a there was one other thing. That's totally I also have that, she said, and I was like, well, that's really weird and she's like, Yeah, maybe you should go get that fucking checked out.
So I'm going to pretend I'm U.A. and I'm going to take my health into consideration this year. What's the what's the disorder? I can't remember. I really I swear to God. I swear to God. I can't remember. She just I was on the phone with her right before we hopped on here because I was just like couldn't believe that she got those appointments so fast, because now there are, of course, all like Fullfil, I was about to say sold out, but that's not the right.
Also yesterday, Jessica St. Clair was all on her Instagram. You know, she had breast cancer several years ago that she survived. And at the same time, her husband had cancer. Yeah, they both had cancer. Yeah. And a young and they had a baby that a baby and a toddler. A little kid. And they both had cancer. But she was Jessica was posting all day yesterday about reminding people in this time that mammograms are important, that a lot of a lot of women can, like, get those tests done to see if they have any of the genes, you know, whatever.
And Broca, Brockington, Rocko's. Yeah, yeah. And and some people can start getting. Mammograms, as you know, regularly of thirty five, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I was like, you know what?
Because the covid I didn't get my mammogram, my first one because I waited until I was 40, because I had babies and whatever, and and we don't have a history in my family. But I'm going to make that appointment this week too. So I'm really trying to I'm doing my best at. At promising myself that I'm going to make appointments, is that good? Yeah, I just went through my MYLIE Journal for the year and like I was looking at some of the stuff that I wrote that I wanted.
And like earlier in the summer, I, like, wrote, I was like, look into this breast reduction thing. And I was like, look at me. I did it.
I'm proud of you back then. You write me. Do you take a do you write? Where are you writing this? Should I be writing things down? I write down a lot of stuff, especially what I like. So like I have friends who who journal every day. I am a writer, but I do not write every day. That's not my vibe. But I do not mind either, because then I set the precedent that I will do it every day and then I get upset that I let myself down.
So I write whatever I feel like it. So whenever I like have like a big workman coming up or I just have like a bunch of feelings right. Before I talk to my therapist, Carla, I'll just like write down like a journal entry for that day. Sometimes I'll do it every week for every day, for three weeks. Sometimes I'll do it like once every month. But I'll write down, like said, intention's manifestations right when I'm upset, just like truly treat it like a diary journal kind of thing.
And I went back through like the last half of the year because it's been fucking bonkers. And I like wrote about work, about how I thought about covid, how I thought about Brianna Taylor, how I felt about this, my breast reduction, about how I felt. How about having to go to the doctor so much and not getting anything out of it. And then like, I wanted the list I had, it was like, oh, I would really like this job.
I would really like people to, like, saved by the bell. I should really look into breast reduction called doctors this week. And that was like in that list of stuff. And I was like, oh, I did it. I didn't get that job.
I feel like you've been on a roll, though. You're getting so many jobs and so many jobs. Well, somebody else is going to be doing the voice of the reboot of some cartoon.
And it's not going to be me. I should have been you. Somebody's a listener of the podcast messaged me that they heard your voice on Saved by the Bell and they got married.
Oh, yes, I am. One of the voices for the snitches. Get Rich's box in episode three. So that is me.
Well, somebody somebody shared it to me. They were very excited, but I guess I was meant to pass that. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Better late than never. Yes. Write down things. But like I oh, people are always like, oh, I'm a writer. What should I do to be a writer? And I was like, please, you do not have to write every day journal when you feel like journaling what you feel like.
It has saved me so much because like I always end up with the full journal at the end of the year and I don't feel bad.
I just like I really resent sometimes when professional people give their the way that it worked for them as like this is what you have to do.
It's like I so prefer and I appreciate you saying like do what you can do, like you want to be a writer, like write well you can like focus on it when you can like start writing so bad. I don't know, I just like also some people don't work like in that way that like write five pages every day.
I don't have you guys, have you guys decided that you hate anyone new after this past week via online presences. Because I have. I know I owe you. All right, we have one, Demasi, and I'll tell you guys in the group chat that it's not even like a real person, it's like an entity that I hate, like I hate no specific person. Like, obviously, I hate a lot of people, like in quotation marks, but, you know, like white supremacists, the president.
But there's like nobody that like I you know, how I got that bitch. I don't even waste my time on her. She's not even a medic.
I think about, like, how Roxane Gay has, like, Nemesis that like she keeps track of and the like, helped fuel her. But I she loves it. But like, I only I only have one nemesis and it is an entity. So I'll text you guys about it later. I can tell you now just cut it out.
I don't really have a nemesis, but I do have I will be honest like and I feel bad because I'm sure I super annoy people. I'm online. I'm sure I have some characteristic that annoys people. Whatever it is, I don't know what it is. It's a secret to me. Don't tell me because it's none of my business. But I do hate people that are so repetitious, like just there's you know, there's like a couple people that I feel like they're always like they have like quote unquote goals that they keep just stating over and over and asking people to like, help them with their goals and repeating what they want to do.
But then I feel like they're never doing anything to like get closer to those goals, which is fine.
That's your business. Can you give, like, an example in a way that wouldn't give away what you're talking about? Exactly.
There is one person in particular, and I kind of almost want to, like, get in touch with them and be like, are you OK? Because they want to do a very public facing job. And all of their social media, across all things, even through the coup, was just about like how nobody is recognizing that. Not true. That's not true. Not yeah. The coup through this, just like nobody is recognizing their talent and like how they you know, people like my guy and you have to track.
So I need to know who it is.
I need to look at everything, everything.
And I want to be like, do you realize that every baby like you have to just be like, yes, baby, everyone that could potentially employ you doing the thing that you say is your passion will look and see that you were doing this through the coup. Yeah. And you guys, that is one of the fun to me. I'm so sorry. That is real fucking funny. Like, OK.
Oh shit. I don't want to this is like such deep, hot old hot guys, but I don't, I don't want to do it because I already like made up with this person.
I don't want to like, throw them back on the bus. So I'm not going to tell a story. But I do think that like in times of great national tragedy and strife to like, be like. But what about me is like such a wild move. Oh, you mean like Malaysia. Why are you today what Malaysia was doing, but like also my girl, get the fuck out of here. I'm not interested if she's on any fucking magazine cover, like if she fuck fuck whoever gives her fucking Dancing with the Stars, I'm going to fuck.
Oh, well, the funny thing is, like, she put out a statement, but clearly everyone who used to write statements for her has resigned. So it's clearly like she she wrote a statement, but she plagiarized herself in the past, which was refreshing. Yeah. She plagiarized some other statement that she'd given and copied a sentiment from it. And then it's just like really weird, like short statement where she included insurgents alongside the police officer that died, like saying our hearts go out to these people, which is like incorrect.
And if someone was still guiding her, they probably well, maybe not, but hopefully would have pointed out, like, that's not the way that you should phrase that. And then she just made it about herself in the last paragraph about how sad she was that people everybody was being mean to me.
The last two words were like to me or on me or about me like me was the last word.
There was like, girl decide about you. Also, the rumor is rumor mill was that like a bunch of her aides quit because during the coup she was like directing a photo shoot. And would it stop? Yes, I was. I got out drugs. Right. Wasn't there. And they were like the people were storming the Capitol and she was like, no, let's just keep let's keep taking photos. This is the line that made me laugh.
I find it shameful that surrounding these tragic events, there has been salacious gossip, unwarranted personal attacks and false misleading accusations on me. Yeah, on me. Oh, my God, you guys, that's truly fucking wild, it's wild.
But like I said, like I mean, clearly Caylee's hair and makeup department, well, that was the funniest fucking thing.
There's nothing, guys, if you haven't seen it yet, please find your way somehow. Just Google it. It's so bonkers, the side by side comparison, like it's like it's like a reverse before and after. It totally looks like it's like a glow down that the White House press secretary just looks like, you know. She looks how we all feel for years, if you don't want to go look it up however you felt from November 8th, 20, 60 till, you know, currently, that's how that bitch looks at her outside of her.
Outside, as busy would say, is as much on her inside outside as matching her inside.
She looks like she aged forty seven years. Yeah. She also just looks damp. She looks like a like a little drowned rat. She is.
If the shoe fits you, the shoe fits you guys this week is bonkers. What are we. What are you doing. How are you. How are you going to get through? Because it's. How are you going to get through this?
One more thing about some fucking bullshit that I just need to. Did you guys see this was just announced. Nicole Kidman and having our Bardem are going to play Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz with Aaron Sorkin and Sorkin directing being the Ricardos for Amazon Studios. But they're old.
Well, I don't even believe he's Cuban. He's not right. I haven't looked it up yet. He's not a Cuban.
And also, please people who are the same age as Nicole Kidman, please don't bother me. I don't think that that age is old, but like, they were like in there, like, how old were they when they started that show? Like, how old are they supposed to be in the show?
Weren't they, like, younger? Well, this is but I don't know what this this is like a film. I guess it's set during one production week of I Love Lucy. So I literally don't know, but I just.
OK, I'm just going to be like a bitch for like five seconds. I told Kingman's face, does it move enough to do the clown work that Lucille Ball was capable of? So I'm very interested to see what happens because she does it. Obviously, she has range. But Lucille Ball studied and did a lot of mime and clown work. And I want to know how Nicole Kidman is going to do it. Literally just it's ludicrous. It's like weird, ludicrous to me to see and hear it.
She's not American. I know this is true, but they never they never cast us for any of it. But but by the way. But Desi Arnaz is like a Cuban Cuban American like icon. Right, to wear what it is. Javier Bardem, Cuban. I'm sorry. I'm just like not even that. I'm like a person has to play the thing that they are, but like, oh, my God. But they kind of do, don't they have to play the thing that they are?
I think that it would I think it would be good. But like I like player, like dumb white girls. You know what? I play what I am. Come on. I don't know. I just think the casting is weird. Here's what I'll say. I never count Nicole Kidman out. She shocks me every time, for better or for worse. I'm going to watch it because it's Nicole, whether it's like she plays Lucy and her face doesn't move.
So it's weird. Or like she just knocked it out of the park and Desi Arnaz was hot and Harvey Bardem is hot. So I guess I'm going to watch it. Listen, I watch Lindsay Lohan play Elizabeth Taylor. So what am I going to try to do, by the way? We're all watching it. We're not. We're watching it yourself. Got a question. Please don't bother me. I always have to give you, like, don't bother me.
That wasn't like a Botox thing. That was like, when's the last time Nicole Kidman did, like, full fledged comedy with her whole body? Like, that is what that was in the problem. She was quite funny, but she did she did like a lot of, like, physical comedy. That's what I'm talking about. She because and when I when I think of, like, full physical comedy, I think of like Kristen Wiig, like not that Kristen Wiig should play, you know what I mean?
But she'd be somebody who but who embodies the type of like willing to like stuff their face with a bunch of, like bonbons and be the magic beat about a regimen like I'm thinking of like those kind of. Like actors. So, all right, you know what I'm going to say, prove it to me. Nicole Kidman prepared me in my own way. I am just like scrolling.
And people are a little are upset about Javier Bardem because he is Spanish and Desi Arnaz is Cuban. Ben was cute. I that it's not the same. And Hollywood always Pyles Latin Americans into a singular big identity. It's a missed opportunity to bring in a Cuban actor and I believe that happens with Asian actors. Certainly not like, you know, people are sometimes cast outside of what their actual culture is. I can imagine it's really.
But I also I feel.
Am I going to be EFO or willing if you're willing to put on 15 pounds more than Nicole Kidman? Because wasn't that always wasn't that in her contract that that Vivian Vance had to weigh 15 pounds more?
I don't know. But I know she was really mad because Fred was so old. Right now I probably am like hovering somewhere between like fifty and seventy five pounds more than Nicole Kidman, like just in my regular person. She's very she's very well.
You've been both of you have probably seen her in person. Is she itty bitty? Is she surprised at all the. She surprised tallish Regulus. She's she's tall. She is. She is like bird boned, you know. I mean, like, I like a I, I don't know how tall she is because, you know, like I think that all the famous people have itty bitty bodies and they're like five too. But we talked about this before.
Like Mariah, Mariah Carey is surprised. Tall, she's like five eight. So like, how tall is Kidman? She's like five eight. OK, she's she's five. Oh no, she I think she. Did you go for that?
Is that a Google? You know, I've, I've seen her, but yeah. Because like Tom Cruise is like five foot six, so I'm OK. And we're married standing together. And I've stood near Tom Cruise a number of times and I know she's like a full head taller than Tom Cruise. Right. I'm going to Google up. I'm going to just Google her height. Or I could just.
Well, that means that she's not even surprised. Tall. She's she's like extra tall because that's above average height for us regular folks. Not even those movie stars watching her pose on a red carpet taught me everything I ever needed to know about posing on the red carpet, which is like the shoulders.
She's five eleven, the shoulders, according to the Internet, the the shoulders go so far back, they look like they're going to spontaneously pop back. Yeah. Out and like, touch and the blades touch. Then she's sort of like curves her butt so that it's like from the back it looks like real sticky outi but in the front really far it looks great and like just straight and perfect. The dresses look perfect and then one little foot goes like gently in front of the other and then she stands and she just is like and her head goes.
It's like one of the most magical things I've ever seen on a red carpet.
And it is it's really impressive. She like she like just knows how to stand so regally and like every photo of her looks incredible. And, you know, I'm like schlump and along, like, trying not to have my dress stepped on.
But when I try, I imagine that I am Nicole Kidman and I throw my shoulders back and I'm like, make them touch my butt out. And I'm like. But now, shoulders back, face relaxed. Now, when this pandemic's over, I'm going to be I'm will be looking at you via getting to see what was going on. The next time we can go out into the streets, I'm going to be looking for this. I'm going to look at for the show to touch this butt out.
And I think I've got a pretty good job over the years. It depends. It depends. It depends what I'm like. You do a good I do OK. Now, it was like really it's really hard.
It's really scary to pose on red carpets. It is. I mean, just because people are screaming at you and like you don't know until you don't know what you look know and no one tells you like it's very easy to pose in front of a mirror.
OK, sorry, I don't hear about you guys, they don't have them there, there are no mirrors. I you just yeah, for sure. You don't know.
That's why we have that whole booted out that one time. Well, but also, like, here's the thing. She probably just didn't even feel that. Here's a thing. You can fill it out. Come on.
You feel if you kid this out, let's just say, what drug is it that you can't feel your face? Cocaine, cocaine. So maybe like maybe there's a drug where you can't feel your tits. As somebody who literally had to do surgery, I am fully aware that if I was out in the wind, I would feel material. So I'm not going to give her a pass on that. I think that's I think that's like I can't feel my tits when I'm with you, like, you know what I mean?
I think that's like that's like something else is happening.
Also, full disclosure, I think it is the funniest word in the world. I think that you can never, ever, ever say it and not be funny because, like, I could just be like I just had surgery on my titties. Funny. You can just be like, just strike at me. Like, I fell down and hurt my titties. Funny, no matter what happens here, it is funny. So if you anytime you're feeling down just like say to a couple that's been like deleted it and then you'll laugh because it's funny to me.
Tara Reid is listening and she hears us talking about what I it is so funny. I think there is zero point zero chance that she's lost tonight. I know you actually don't know. And then also there's the Sex and the City news, I guess. OK, so like first of all, Samantha is the reason to watch for me. Like, that's number one. Number two, yeah. If you go to a show in New York and you don't cast no black people, set the set, set the show in a different fucking city, that's what I got to say about that fucking show.
If that show is created, I don't care if it's three extras in a barista. It ain't no black people in this show. I'm a lose my fucking mind. That's how I feel about that. Why don't they just have, like, a Samantha? Why don't they have a new. Because it's about dating and they're in your fifties, right? That's what they're saying. I don't know. So why don't we get. This is a this is time for Angela Bassett, I know she's maybe is she older than her 50s?
Angela Bassett is 60, maybe 60. It doesn't matter. She could play their contemporary. Why don't we get Angela Bassett in there as the Samantha proxy, the really like hypersexual hot bitch? She could pull it off, baby. I mean, I don't even need them. They can still have their trio. But, like, it's just one of those girls didn't fucking Gossip Girl, did it? The reboot of Gossip Girl is probably about to do it.
Have you ever been in New York? Here's the thing. If you're in your own circle, fine. Have your all right circle. You can just be walking down the street in New York and don't see nobody else like you can accidentally see, like, I don't know, Asian person in New York. Like, how can you cast the show that is in New York for like six years and just like not even any extras. I'm upset. I do.
I do. I do feel that that does seem like bonkers. That's bonkers. So I like friends, too. Yeah. So like it's fine like obviously because you hang out with with who you hang out with, that's fine. But like stop setting shows in New York and making them all white HBO.
I'm just I'm just always surprised at how much hubbub it causes whenever they announce anything having to do with Sex in the City.
I think that it's like it calls back to like a very nostalgic time that the very old trans phobic antiblack time of Sex City.
Kind of. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, like, it's so interesting. Like when you look back at, like, the stuff that just doesn't fucking hold up, you know. But at the time that was just like and it was and it reinforced a lot of really terrible, you know, ideas like my own. Like my own. You know, it didn't help me course. Correct. Any sort of like bad patriarchal messaging that I had gotten growing up by watching all the seasons of Sex in the City when Emily Bebe and I moved into our first apartment together, it also reinforced terrible ideas about what a freelance writer can afford for shoes.
It was it was a lot of bad stuff, but it was like weirdly so satisfying to watch in a weird way. I mean, it was it was of the times. It was very much of the times. Most of what they did will not fly. And even was Samantha, who was like so sexually fluid, said a bunch of fucked up shit. So I think that, like, they have an opportunity, obviously, to show these women, I think at this age with a lot of growth, like to be like, well, remember, we used to do that seventeen years ago.
That was bad. But we've grown.
And I think that there is so much room for that in the show, but I probably won't watch it. So I'm just like being I'm just being an asshole. I probably won't watch it anyway either just because I never watch anything anymore. It's just too exhausting. But you know what?
I am going to watch what the show that I'm on, Girls five about because it is so fucking wild and I love it. I'm obsessed with everybody in it. I love it so much. I love it. I'm so happy to have the job. There's been a lot of really terrible fucking shit. I mean, that goes without saying.
But I have to say that this surprise twist of this show, I don't know, is like the is like one of the only very, very good things I feel like that I'm excited about. And I get to work that's coming to TV. It's coming just streaming. It's going to peacocke which is NBC, which will be streamed on television. I'm going to get it. I mean, I have it, but I want I can't wait. That does bring us to today's guest.
That's why I started the segue. And then you forgot.
No, I was looking because I was like there was something else that just popped up on Twitter and I was like, fuck, do we even go get into it? No, we don't get into it. You know why? Because there's not enough time for all the fucking bullshit that's happening. You know what I mean? I haven't even I haven't even said what I was doing my best at this week. What is it? What are you doing?
What is what are you doing your best. Nothing has got to bring it up if you don't bring it up. If you're not going to tell us what I was going to say, I just realized that I never got to it.
But it doesn't matter because I don't even know what is. I have I've not been doing great this week. I've not been doing Gradison either.
Usually we would we would press on that. But like, I just, you know what I mean? Usually I'm like I'm just like sort it out, you know, I'm just like not when people ask me questions. I've been saying I don't know the answer.
Even when I do know just because I don't even want to say I'm just like, I don't know. And I, I just am having a hard time, like getting any type. Don, my attention is terrible, so, you know, anyway, let's intro Andrew Rannells, our guest. I just read something from the person that I hate so much now on Twitter, and I almost just had to like take a B. As you were saying that you didn't aren't doing your best at anything this week, and honestly, I'm not really either.
I just made that up, Casey. But you can make you can make something up.
And Shintaro, what are you doing? Your best? She said she was like reading back over her old jaw. Oh, right, right, right. Well, guys, listen, one thing that I'm very grateful for is that I get to do this job. This girl's five have a job. I hope that everybody gets to see. It's so fun and insane. Oh, my God, you guys, there's so much that we didn't talk about the Army Hammer DBMS, what's the drinking blood?
I don't know.
I think that's but I don't I. I think somebody else posted like this is the girl that did it.
And I mean, it might not be real. It gave everyone like an afternoon of fun, stupid, stupid.
Just it just one afternoon delight.
Yeah. So are Armie Hammer. Thank you for letting people wonder if you like to drink blood, I guess. I don't know. It got kind of wild. It made people uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable. I also I also think there's sometimes when you see that and you go, I don't believe that. Absolutely not.
But with Armie Hammer, we go the way to see the big boy, see, like, you know, like this is some people like if I heard that about Busi, I'd be like, that's not true. Like even if I didn't know you busy, I'd be like, that's where I would like you to do that. But then I heard that about Army and I was like, oh, no, we'll just see what happens. Well, I don't know.
It's all strange.
The Kim Conway divorce thing. Jeffrey Starr. Who fucking knows? Who cares? I don't know. I don't know. Vogue. Oh, the Vogue Comilla thing was a big oh, yeah, yeah, because fucking Anna Wintour, they haven't confirmed that it was her, but it's her. She's the only person who's in charge of everything at both.
Change the picture without telling cumulous team. Yeah. I don't understand why they would do that like Anna Wintour.
I mean, if I can knock it off, you know, I mean, it's why are you not going to put me on the cover of Vogue now? Anna Wintour? I'm not going to get invited to the fucking ball.
It feels like the very definition of passive aggressive, like it's so passive because you don't look as good as you wanted to look on the cover of Vogue.
But also like she it's a very candid, not professional, not bad ass looking photo that they decided to go with. And like she's the new vice president of the United States. So it's this feels passive aggressive. It seems weird. It does seem weird. Very anti black.
And Anna Wintour is anti black. She has a history of being anti black. She has a history of picking bad lighting, bad pictures, poor coloring for people of color. She has a history of that. And this is just another example of her that is going to be the first example worldwide of the first black woman to ever be vice president of the United States. Anna Wintour knows how to fucking pick pictures and she knows exactly what she fucking did.
Shinta is mad, and I am really I'm with you all. The only thing I would say is that, like I thought that there was like nice symbolism to the colors being the colors of her sorority. There is.
But it's just not a great photo. It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be the cover of the magazine. Also, her team said that that wasn't even supposed to be in the spring. Oh, shit. They did not pick that photo at all. Come on, Anna went so far. I mean, like I think and obviously, like, she's also obsessed with Michelle Obama. So, like, you can still be antiblack, black and still love black people in an SUV.
And now it's like you can still be antiblack and love black people. In essence, like people of our culture. They don't want to be black. Thomas Jefferson has a bunch of black kids. Be still fucking own them, you know what I'm saying? So her obsession with black fashion, her obsession with ballcock culture, her obsession with Michelle Obama does not negate her anti blackness, her history of anti black. Everybody loves Michelle Obama.
So, oh, fuck her.
So as someone who probably will never get to go to the Met ball, you know, yellow.
I mean, that's what I think. But also, I always wanted to go to the Met Ball, but also, fucker, I don't care unit. I mean. We can go when she passes or we can make our own fucking meatball, Santería, Leeann's in charge, you know, I'm not trying to up the ball.
Oh, my God. All right. That's probably a think somewhere.
So now let's get to the most delightful human.
We love him. He's been to the Met Ball, he tells us a story about it. He talks about it. Shintaro, you're going to be hearing it for the first time because you were busy working.
And you can into the center has really been working hard and you guys have been working. I also been working and our schedule did not line up this week when we sat down with my friend and someone that I've been working with on girls, five of the most amazing Andrew Rannells guys.
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It's like we're doing a cabaret, did you have drinks last night after we wrap it up because it was so fucking cold, I needed to just to get warm.
I needed to have some bourbon just to get right.
Caseys making a face as though the answer's not good. Because here's the thing. Here's what we're going to say. We're going to just say this right now, we're working together. Yeah, but if it's not if we're not allowed to talk about it, we just won't say that we're in the same room.
Yeah, I guess let's just say it. And we're both working on the same studio.
We're working for the peacock. We're both at the same time anyway.
I was really hoping to run into Mariska today or iced tea, but no such luck. And I just went and got his covid test at the S.V. use stages so that he didn't have to schlep all the way to Koffman Astoria. I was a little bit of a brat about it because we're in this world without giving away our location, but we're in the city, as it were, closer to S.V..
You film the Chelsea Piers. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows. Everyone in New York knows that. But anyway, I went there and got tested a few times and never saw anyone famous either.
Well, it was funny when I got there, the nurse who was checking me in, there's there's two and one of them was like she went, oh, somebody from Girls Five ever is here to test.
And I said, she was so moved. And I was like, that's me.
And she went, Oh, great, how's it going?
And I was like, it's going well, that's so rude. I'm sad you didn't see Mariska Hargitay because have you ever seen her in person? Oh, yes. My luminesce, beautiful humor. My and my ex-boyfriend was on Espoo, so I've spent lots of time with Miss Hargitay there.
You even in the house, even in her Hamptons compound. Oh wow.
Formally, formally owned by Jemima Kirk's mother, who's her mother. Her mother is an interior designer who owned that house.
What's her name? Lorraine. Lorraine. Corrine incurring Kirke. Yes, she's a character. Let's just say I'm on it. I think we just do it. It Rannells is making the call. Yeah, I think we say I'm on it.
And then so, guys, we're so lucky today because we're talking to the one and only legend.
Are you going to be a legend?
I think you will be. I think people will refer to when you're old and you think, yeah, I think I think you'll be like my family. Well, I think you'll be like, yeah, like lead.
Yeah, you'll be a legend. We were discussing we were discussing yesterday with Eric, actually. Will I get in memoriam on the Emmys?
Oh, of course you would if you died I guess. Yeah. A hundred percent would be not a clue.
Not in quite what clip would they show. And I don't know if you would get a clip or just a photo. Well, I'd be like a photo, but like what photo.
Like is it going to be like a young photo? They always do that.
They always pander and do like young and hot. But what if it's like that?
Like what if it's from from what we did? I don't want to give away we want to give away all of the secrets.
But the reason why we're sitting next to each other in my dining room, even in covid Vibe's Andrew and I can sit directly next to each other and do this podcast because we've been tested. We're testing, testing, testing, we're tested out. The Yahoo! I mean, so much. Yeah, that girl really went deep yesterday for me. The other I know, the gal who did mine said your nose is very dry. Are you hydrating enough?
And I was like, ma'am, it's very early. And I was wearing a mask and it's cold out. Like, Please don't question my hydration.
Did I tell you about the time when I thought Doctor accused me of doing too much coke?
Know, but please do. OK, so I was doing a sitcom called Love Inc and it was around when I was getting really like started to get my really intense bad sinus infections.
And I was. How old was I like twenty five. Yeah.
I was like twenty five years old and Zicam had just come on the market you're familiar with like. Yeah but it had literally just come on the market. That's when people lost their smell because of it.
Well my husband still can't smell to this day from like a Zicam run in in the early 2000s. OK, so this is we're all in the same area. So basically I was doing the sitcom in front of a live audience on the former Up-down and network. And I was getting sick and I was fighting it all week and I was using so much I can't like I was just overdosing on Zicam because it was people were saying like that will prevent you from getting sick.
So then show day comes and I wake up and I am like massively sick and there's nothing you can do. As they say, the show must go on.
But what? They do is they bring a doctor to the set for you who like this, like Judy Garland doctors there totally. And they will give you like a shot of steroids.
See favorite you get through the show. Did you ever have to do that on Book of Mormon? Yeah.
There's a there's like a short list of doctors that would come and just give you the shot and you could perform and you perform like a champ. Well, I'm sure they're maybe the best, best performances of your life.
So the doctor comes to love, ank, and he comes into my dressing room and he does the whole thing and he's like, yeah, you definitely have like a cold, a bad cold, maybe a sinus infection and give you a shot and these antibiotics and whatever. And then you like the jar, the door was ajar and you like was like, but we need to talk. And you shut the door. And he was like, we need to talk about the coke.
And I was like, why don't you just because you're like a blonde actress. No, because I assume. No, he looked up, he looked up my nose. And what he saw was that the Zicam was like eating away at like the inside of my nose in the same way that I guess doing a lot of cocaine, smoking, smoking, dope, snorting.
That's called crack snorting. I like that. Now I can hear you really well. I can hear me.
It's like NPR snorting a bunch of cocaine essentially, I guess, damages your nasal lining in the same way that the Zicam was damaging mine.
And it was so confusing because he and I have this, like, standoff when I was like, dude, I don't do coke. In fact, true hand to God have never snorted any drug up my nose ever.
Why are you looking at me?
Cause I'm just saying I never had any drugs are inaudible lots like all of them.
Adderall, cocaine, Sudafed as pseudoephedrine, Dexatrim. And we never introduced Andrew. Really. Oh well I said I started it.
I think you're not listening to me today. My name is Andrew Rannells and I'm very happy to be here.
We're so excited to welcome our guest, Andrew Rannells, a legend of stage and screen, certainly an icon to be in Chelsea. And I can't speak to Chelsea. It's true. Chelsea Icon and parts of Hell's Kitchen currently. And her and I have the pleasure of working together.
Therefore, as our guest today, he's sitting with me in my dining room, which is so nice to have a live guest.
You have not had one and a bit. Not one ever. Ever. This is a podcast that started, well, technically start a pre pandemic. But then the pandemic happened and we threw everything away. And then we really thought of what the podcast was going to be. And so we didn't start it until well into pandemic. So you hep you couldn't have guests ever.
I mean, we've had them over Zimm like ever done like talk shows and stuff during this time. Have you have you been in studio for anything?
Yeah, I've done no, I haven't been in studio for anything, but I've done a couple of things via Zoome.
I did like Seth Meyers. I did some other stuff I went to. Jimmy Fallon for prom, for the prom, and I went to the prom, the prom, but doesn't the prom sound like a horror movie, the prom and like it sounds like a fun prom. Yeah, but I guess technically that prom from the musical. Yeah, the prom date. Prom, the purge. It sounds like it sounds like the the prom. The music could be a horror film.
I bet there is a horror movie called The Prom. I'm sure probably we should make it. I mean, why aren't we. It's done. It's sold and sold. Call Ryan. We call Ryan Murphy. That's the guy.
It'll do. It is called. That's true. Oh, really?
By the way, if we start just like saying the exact same thing, we're really in a groove because we've been working together every day this week. So now we're in that weird just comedy energy and we get it. We had a really great week together.
We have more stuff in the future, which is so fun and it gets insane, but we can't tell you guys about it. You're just going to have to wait until it comes out on peacocke.
But you have so much stuff. Do you ever stop working? Yes.
No, you don't. Someone you know. Of course. I mean, yes, but I happen this year has been I've been very lucky because I went you're on. You know, when you have those years where you just go from, like job to job.
And that's what this is really like. It's always because I don't know if you feel this way, but always as an actor, I'm like, well, this is my last job. Of course, I'll never be doing this again. Yeah, I'll be found out after this one.
I know. I never think that. I just like I hate the industry so much that I feel like it's now I just feel like I'm going to be rejected constantly.
Well, because you are. Which is why I'm in business.
I get enough hugs. Honey, why are you in this business? Let's talk about that. Let's talk about Pivot's and how you started.
If you want to see if if you're at home and you're like, oh, and urinals. I remember him from girls.
I loved him on that show. I love him on Black Monday. Is that show coming back? It sure is. That's great love.
Black Monday. It's so good in your Q good in it. And I love that you're playing kind of like sassy bad guy.
Yeah. It's, it's fun because usually I don't get to do that. But they made me into a real creeper which was really fun.
And the prom was a big hit over the Christmas holidays. Yes. And I'm very I mean, it was the first movie musical I've ever done. Of course, I've done a lot of musicals, live musicals, but never done a movie musical. So it was really fun to get to do like a big old timey musical. I saw the prom on Broadway with the kids. We loved it.
And I thought that the adaptation for the movie was incredible. And you're so good and thank you. I think yeah.
I think Ryan did a really lovely job about, you know, figuring out what to expand, what not to expand. I mean, because basically it is the same Broadway show. But then he took a couple moments. We have some really great moments with Tracey Ullman, who plays James Gordon's mother. She was not a character in the Broadway play, but we kind of got to, you know, open it up a little bit and. Yeah, Brian, you know, I don't I maybe I don't think I'm the first person to say this, but he's real talented.
He can do a lot of things. You know, he's very good at what he does and he's real good at his job. I auditioned for Glee.
Did you audition for Glee? I did not. What were you doing then? I was was I was doing I was a replacement in Jersey Boys on Broadway and I did Broadway, Broadway. And I had I was one of Matt Morrison's replacements and Hairspray. So I was friends with Matt. And when that happened, I was like, why am I not on the show? But I was I was pushing it.
Like, at that point you got Babyface, but you just had to shave like seven times a day.
I was like twenty nine.
I was like, oh, I think I maybe I can't be put in a high school student. You could have been Matt Morrison. I don't know. I don't know either. Matt was awful good in that show like that. I've never watched Glee.
Is there like a la Michelle feud.
We should talk. No, I just. No, I didn't I wasn't auditioning for high school for a high school student.
Jesus. I was auditioning for the one of the teachers. I can't I can't remember.
OK, and then you could wife you couldn't watch it because, you know, I just wasn't. I just didn't.
But do you do that when you. Because I hold grudges sometimes. Well, not as much. Not as much anymore.
But I used to really like just like shake my fist at certain projects.
What it is, I think when I get what I would if I got down to the line for something and then I felt like I what if I felt like I didn't love the way it was handled at the end? Yes. I always hold a grudge. You know what happens?
You know, what it was to me is like I'm I'm a writer, not an actor, obviously. But whenever I'm trying to get a job, I have to let myself fall in love with the idea of having that job and picture myself in it, picture that it's mine. And then so when you find out that it's. Yours, it is like getting cheated on. Absolutely, and you, like I always skip ahead because I don't know if you do this, but like the second I auditioned for something, I'm also doing like an Emmy acceptance speech, like this is a game changer.
I really I really go, like, six steps ahead. So you're from Nebraska. So you're from Nebraska.
That's right. And you wanted to do what with your life? What was your you were coming. You came out, you moved out to New York when you're 18, 19.
I just turned 19. Musical theater.
That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to be on Broadway. I fell in love with with musical theater, going to Carnegie Mellon or something.
I did not. I went to a school called Marymount Manhattan on the Upper East Side.
I went to Yale Marymount University in L.A.. Jesuits, yeah. Yes. And I left after about two years because I started working.
He said, oh, my God, are we the same person, the same person? No, but all I want to do is musical theater.
So like I, I came to New York with a very specific goal of like I wanted to sing and dance on the Broadway.
And how was the journey for you? Did you have, like any early setbacks where you were like, well, maybe I'll just go do this other thing instead?
Yeah, I did. I auditioned. I was kind of working and I was auditioning a lot and really trying to, like, make it happen. And then other people around me were making it happen and I got very discouraged. Or Matt Morrison. Matt Morrison. Yeah, literally like Matt and my friend Gavin Creel hair. Yes.
And my friends and Gambetta, like all of those people, like, got there faster than I did. So around twenty three, I took a two year break. I took a job, I directed Saturday morning cartoons. What? Yeah, I directed it was a company called For Kids Entertainment and I directed Sonic the Hedgehog and Kirby for Nintendo.
And I did that for two years and I was like, I'm steady paycheck, steady paycheck. And it was like and in some ways like it was it was very comfortable and creative and ish. And I knew what I was doing. But I always and then I got sucked back in. I got a phone call from a casting director. This was like two years into and had you stopped auditioning, just totally stopped.
You're like, this isn't happening.
Yeah, I wasn't going to happen for me and I in twenty three years old I decided and I twenty three. I felt very old. Me too though. Me too. I was like, I've been doing this for too long and I just hate it. So I stopped. And then this casting director from Bernie Telsey called me Bernie tells these guys this is sometimes we take Hollywood breaks on this show.
This is a real well, this is a real Broadway break. This is probably this is not this isn't even like if you're in Hollywood and you just do TV and film, you don't know Bernie.
Well, totally not. Yeah, you really don't. But I do because I thought, well, after Dawson's Creek, I thought I was going to I was like, maybe my next move is to go do Broadway. And that's how I ended up in that Cry-Baby workshop. The very first one.
Yep. Yep. I believe that there you weren't you were not thrilled about that. You weren't that you weren't.
I know because I was doing Hairspray at the time and you know, as John Waters and it was, you know, it's like a similar group of people and a lot of people from Hairspray were in Cry-Baby. And I just thought, like, oh, maybe I have like a good inroad here. And I did not. And I did not. But Bernie Telsey called me and he. Oh, Bernie Telsey.
I never got to that. Bernie Telsey is like the biggest. He's a big, huge cast, very, very big Broadway casting director, like all the big musicals. Yeah. And I was lucky at that at that time that he liked me. So so when I was like, I think I'm gonna do Broadway, I'm going to switch careers from television and film and be a Broadway actor. He did bring me in for like several years for every young.
He's very good if you're on the list. He's he's real good about it.
But he called me out of the blue and asked me to come in for a musical called Tabou, which was a Boy George musical that Rosie O'Donnell was pretty.
Oh, wait, I know because, you know, Casey was worked for Rosie O'Donnell. Oh, OK. Yes. So so Rosie O'Donnell was a big news in New York that she was the sole producer of that musical. She was it was a real Casey. Were you still with her at that time?
No, this was post The Rosie O'Donnell Show. It was like her first big project post.
Rosie Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was it was like a real David Merrick sitch, or she was like the only producer on this show and they were casting this one part. So I went in and I got very close. I was like down to the end, the bitter end. And in fact, Rosie O'Donnell told me to my face in the audition room that I did not get the job.
Did you appreciate that? I did. I did, too.
I do, too, because she let me off the hook. I auditioned and I, like, tried my damnedest. And then she said she was like, honey, you're very talented.
This is not for you. Well, I. And that was it. And I but I appreciated it was the. I could leave the room and there was not that horrible, like two hours after you ordered. I'm waiting for the call, waiting for the call. And so I just walked away and was sad. But but then that got me hooked back into auditioning. So I quit my job and I started auditioning. And then Bernie Telsey cast me in Hairspray.
And that's why we started by.
And so you're so Hairspray was not you were a replacement as a replacement and you came in and did did you do were you corny?
I was the pivotal role of Fender in the ensemble.
I know John Hill as well. Yes. Yes, I. I replaced John Hill. Yes. So. Yes.
So I replaced John Hill and then I was in the second group of Hairspray cast.
Yes. Yeah. And then I became Link Larkin link. Great link.
I was. Yes.
So I did that for a while and then you know was fired and you were well, you know, contracts run out on Broadway and how does that work. They like to bring in new people.
So they you age out of hairspray, though, to make sure. Yeah.
I mean, I wasn't too old to do it at the time, but, you know, they like to reinvigorate the group and they just, you know, they let people go. So I was let go and that was a real life lesson.
And what did what happened when that when you were let go from Hairspray? Because you're like, how how long was your contract? Two years. I did nine months in the ensemble and nine months as Lync.
Larker. Oh, that's nice. And then they said and they. Were you surprised when they let you go or.
Yeah, I was I was surprised and devastated, although this was so this was almost four years into the the Hairspray run and is Broadway shows often.
Do they start it becomes the love boat. So they start bringing in like every American Idol cast off, everyone who has ever on Big Brother or the real world, like people start popping up who probably have no business being in a musical. I was luckily replaced with someone who is very talented, named Arunta Veidt, who is was doing Moulin Rouge on Broadway right now and has done a lot of things.
But he he was the one who came in and replaced me. But it was sad days.
And you were bummed. I was bummed. But, you know, you just keep going. You just keep going. Just felt like I'm just going to keep. Yeah.
So and I like bounced around to some other shows and then landed in Jersey Boys for a while.
OK, so Jersey Boys, you're the understudy. No, no. I got a I got a I was one of the boys and I thought we were talking last night. I thought you were. Was that another.
That was Hairspray that I understudied, which is a very hard job.
That's a really hard job because I covered I was I had my own little part in the ensemble. And then I covered I covered Link Larkin, Corny Collins and pivotal role called the Male Authority Figure, who at that time was played by Jim Jay Bullock.
Oh, my God, yes. So here I was at twenty six playing the character actor and they told me you'll never go on, you'll never have to do this. And then sure enough, I went on a bunch I had to play like the old man to be like Tracy Turnblad.
You're all like it was humiliating that just like wigs, glasses like age makeup was really OK. So I want to know, how did Book of Mormon happen? Did you do all of the workshops? So I didn't I that just came about.
It was just, you know, it was an audition. I was a part of like that year. I was a part of three different new musicals, like readings and stuff.
And you're just kind of waiting to see this is the thing about Broadway that's like fascinating to me. And what I learned when I dipped my I'm going to say my pinky toe in the water.
No, you were in old Broadway and you were fully in it. I did know I did one. But you were in the workshop, first workshop, your very first one, and then I never went, they invited me back for the other ones and I was like, I'm good, thanks.
I did. It turns out not for me, not for me. You guys hustle way too fucking hard. So I didn't understand about Broadway actors and what you all do.
And I learned during that Cry-Baby workshop because it was populated with a lot of hairspray people. Is that like even if you're on a Broadway show, you have to try to hustle to get auditions, to get cast in other workshops of shows that might possibly end up on Broadway or might possibly end up at the public or might possibly end up somewhere else or could be whatever.
You don't even know because you want to do those so that if those end up getting financed and going, maybe they will bring you in.
Yeah, it's all a bit of a bit of a crapshoot, though, because like, you know, shows, then if you do get one, you get cast in one and it goes it might not run. Right. So it's really tricky to sort of figure out, like, you have to hedge your bets a little bit to be like, well, am I leaving a good job to take a better job or is this going to be right?
Which is why sometimes, like, you'll go see, like, I don't know, people at home someday will return to the stages.
But if you like, take your kids to see, like one of the, like, long running shows on Broadway, like Lion King or Wicked or something like that. There's like there's always like people in the cast are like this is their 13th year with Wicked because they're like, I am not I am like in this part, this is my job.
I had a friend who did Chicago for 20 years. Really?
Yeah. Yeah. I was asked at one point to come in to Chicago, like, did you consider it?
No, because I was like it was literally following like somebody from like American Idol, not American.
Like a Real Housewife was it. It was like, it was like yeah it was like yeah.
It was like following like like like Brandi Brandi Glanville.
She both. No like literally no she was great. I mean Randy did Brandi Glanville. Did she. I don't know who that is. She was married to Eddie Cibrian.
It maybe it might have been LeAnn Rimes. Oh. Did she do Chicago. You she might check LeAnn Rimes for Brandi Glanville.
You just caused a whole other year of drama in that family.
Well, I don't please just kind of cause any drama. But are they still together, Eddie? And and who cares? Are we interest? Is this maybe it was hot guys. Maybe it was true love. Sometimes it is.
Sometimes it is. Yeah. You never know. You just don't know. You never know. We don't know what's in people's hearts. I by the way, I'm never judging. Oh I am. Oh really.
I didn't know that about. Yeah. I'll judge my face off. I mean I'll smile to your face. It's called manners. Busy like I would never say anything mean to your face. I'll talk shit about you behind your back. I'm not judging. I'm not judging about anything. I'm from Nebraska. That's how it works for.
I don't know what else. I don't know. I don't even want to get into it. OK, wait, so you get cast in Book of Mormon from the second your cast, are you like, holy fuck, this is the best thing ever or what do you think? Are you nervous? Were you nervous?
Terrified because they had done.
I joined right at the end, so they had done two readings and one workshops and they had working on it for a while, had a part of it from the beginning.
Totally from the beginning. Yeah. Who was who was your part. A few people they kept replacing.
Right. Because they couldn't they didn't get it right till they got you. Well I guess that's what I tell myself. That's what I say in the mirror.
But they yeah. So they kept replacing that role. So I was very nervous and I came in for the last workshop and they, you know, they didn't offer like Broadway contracts that were like this is just for the workshop. So I was really white knuckled that part. And I tried to make it as personal as possible and also made the singing as high as possible so that they couldn't replace me.
Oh, my God, are you kidding? So I was like it was Stephen Oremus, who was a musical director, is a good friend of mine.
And we would be in rehearsals and I would be like, let's take up the is the key. And he was like, really? I was like, yeah, let's do it.
So I made it. I made it so high. And so, like, specific, specific to me that like no one else is.
So they couldn't hear anyone else doing it for that's called show biz genius or so says genius.
And I saw you in Book of Mormon. I got to me to Midtown. It was you were impossible to look away from. Yeah.
You were such a fucking star from like the second you walk on stage. It's very nice. I told Rannells s but I pay I like bought scalped tickets from like Barry's tickets to go see Book of Mormon. That's very sweet. I paid so much money and I took Michelle and we sat in like the fourth row and it was very exciting.
It was a I mean, that was the crazy part about doing that show was like all of the people that came to see it, because that's not usually the case with Broadway shows that like. It's like celebrity after celebrity and like every night there was some random people that, you know, Josh and I would like look into the audience and be like, oh, my God, Goldie Hawn is here.
There were wait. There were there were people when I was there. Yeah, I'm saying like Oprah came like, oh, did you get to take a picture with Oprah? I sure did. I took a picture with Oprah.
Her eyes are closed and Gayle and Gayle King's blouse had come unbuttoned. So her brassiere is showing God and God.
So if the way I know and I didn't I didn't want to I didn't want to ask to read it. So I just. So I just let it go. Can we please can I get somebody that I know that it's like really good at Photoshop to just like make that picture open her eyes open, open, do an open, open, open and close Jill's blouse so that we can so that that can be like framed for, you know, it's just not going to happen.
But I will say I will I will say I do have to say it since that moment. It's Gayle King. Gayle King has this amazing skill that some people have. I do not where she remembers like faces and names, like she's like a politician like she just so every time I see her, that was that was almost ten years ago. Any time I see Gayle King, she's like Andrew Rannells.
Like she remember like she's very good. Famous. Well, not no, not for Gayle King, but anyone.
She's so nice.
Like she's always so like warm and lovely and like like yeah. She remembers things about you from the last time you talked. It's really I ran into her at the opening night of To Kill a Mockingbird on Broadway, and she was with Oprah.
And I, I made like a weird decision that I was like, I'm going in, I'm going I'm going to go in.
That's a wild call, guys. If you ever see Oprah in the wild with Gayle King, the decision to go in is, yeah, you shouldn't do it. What happened?
So I decided I was like, watch this. I'm going in for Gayle. So I went in for Gayle. I was like Gayle.
And it was me, Andriano. And she was like high. And then we were chatting and I did the fake E like, oh, Oprah's here. Like I did. Like, I know you didn't know you did like I didn't see Oprah. Oh, no. I just went straight because, like, Gayle and I had like a rapport. So I was like, well, that seems normal.
But then I did like the worst acting job ever. Also that night, if I'm I'll I'll tell you all the stories. Also that night, Hugh Jackman was there, who I'm obsessed with, obviously, and who's always been very kind to me and like really lovely. So I also, you know, said hello to him. He was sitting behind me and I kept with Debra.
I kept hugging him. Oh, no. Oh, well, until my friend Sean Dooley put my his hand on my back and went, stop it.
I because clearly I was making him uncomfortable because I just kept like, I'll be like, oh, it's good to see you. And then he would like to ask a question and then you can one. Then I would say something, you know, I was just like wanted to be near him.
You just wanted to hug. You wanted him to hold you. Well, baby.
Well, when I saw the year of the Book of Mormon and I performed on the Tonys, he performed right before me. So he was backstage getting his microphone on and I was getting my microphone on and he was like, how are you feeling? And I was like, I'm very nervous.
And he said he went, c'mere. And he hugged me. And he like gave me a hug. And he said he was like, You're going to be fine. And he sort of like rocked me a second.
I and I nuzzled into his neck in a really inappropriate way. It's like you're almost always with you, just like a restraining order.
I mean, like he did rock you. He opened. He did.
If I was doing like he was like he was trying to be just like, cool. And I took it too far. You took it. Well, I mean, by the way, that could be the that could be the alternate title for your book. Yeah, it could have been. I took it too far. I took it too far. Can I always do too.
I want to tell you a quick story. When I worked at Rosie, we had a daycare where our children went. And so my older son was in the daycare. And one day Hugh Jackman was a guest on the show. And I went to, like, go get my son for lunch. He was in the corner playing blocks with Hugh Jackman. And Hugh Jackman turned over my son to me and said, this is a fantastic child. I hope if I ever have a child one day it's like your child.
But so you're saying that is amazing. You're telling me about him rocking you. That makes sense.
He was being like, you know, very nurturing. Yeah. Turnell does he do they have children, him and Deborah? I don't know.
I know he's very and she's also very lovely. Lovely. I'm scared. I've scared her a couple of times, too, I would imagine. I would just think like you just hugging her husband and not some. I know I cozied up to her at the Met Ball one year, and like I and she like she looked I saw a look in her face that will I will have to live with until I die. She was like basically like, fuck off.
Like, I just not really. But like, I just kept trying to like like chat with her and I'm like, so what else? And she was like, please leave.
We got we can't do this. I don't have nothing else. Do you know when you run out at those parties and you're like, do I just have to tap out right now?
God, I hate it though. I do hate it because you never say good bye at those things. You're like half chats. Yes.
Yeah. And this was early in the night. This isn't even when, like, all of this is hard. I would imagine the Met Ball is super fun because you get to see, like, every young actress, like, wasted and crying at the end of the night.
I love that.
Just like fighting on their feet. Like he didn't call me like everyone shouting no matter what it is, it's all the same.
It's all the same. It's all the fucking same.
You guys out there listening you at the at the well not right now but pre and post Cove's at the club, at the local club on Friday night is no different than Kendall Jenner at the Met Ball.
You're holding your shoes and you're crying into a cell phone and you're like, should I get a street hot dog.
Yeah. What about Jen. Oh my God. So I just. So your performance was transformative on in Book of Mormon. You're nice.
You're so out of your fucking mind. First of all, I for a Tony. Did you win it?
I did not win, but I was nominated. Norbert Leo Butz. One for another legend for Catch Me If You Can, but it was an honor to be nominated and it was a fun night. It was a very fun night. What's his name again? Norbert Leo Bowerbird.
You could watch him on Bloodline. He's in Fosi Verden, right? Oh, he was on Fassifern, right? Yeah. That was another one that I like. I love that show so much. And I had worked with Tommy Cale on Hamilton very briefly.
And do you have a king in Hamilton? I was the king in Hamilton. When right after they opened Jonathan Groff had he went to go do the looking movie.
And I think I saw you, Lynn just asked. I think you know what I think you did because I remember you. Come on. Yes.
I think I was there for like five years right after that. I think I think I saw you have a photo with you, in fact. Is that true? Yes. Sopan, no.
Your your breasts are. And can I be honest, though, that's it's that is very me to have my shirt popped open.
I just remember I'll send you the picture. I'll find it. I can't wait.
This is going to be the best picture I've ever seen. I have some I have some real rando photos from that time.
So after Book of Mormon, what are you what is your your like you get a bigger agent. What do you do? I mean, she has some of that stuff. Yes. That happened.
And, you know, it was a very interesting, not usual experience for Broadway shows that like the West Coast came to see it.
So then all of a sudden I had like meetings with people because it was like a very because the guys from Transmat Park did it like it was like very like anyone in television and film they all carry interested in it.
So that's where I got my first job with Ryan Murphy was he cast me in the show called The New Normal that we did on NBC for just one year.
Oh, my God. With Georgia, with Georgia King and many weeks. Yes. And Lakes and Ellen Barkin. Was that your first TV show? Girls was my first TV show.
So I had done the first season of Girls while still in the Book of Mormon, but it hasn't aired yet. And then I did the pilot for the New Normal. I did the second season of Girls and then went back and did a full season of the new normal. Oh my gosh. So Girls was my first. Lena, was it opening night of the Book of Mormon? And they cast me in that it was one episode and then it turned into they just kept having me come.
Yeah, because you're a star. Well, we hit it off and it was like very fun to do.
And it was such a fun set and it was everybody's first TV show. I mean, Zosia had worked a bunch, but everybody else, it was their first job. And Adam and I, I forget what play Adam Driver was doing now on Broadway, but he was like across the street from me in the book Mormon. And so it was our first time, like working on TV.
And it just everybody just sort of had a fun. I mean, it probably was similar to, like, your Freaks and Geeks time. It was.
So I mean, we were but like you were it was like everybody's first job and you're like, it's so high and everybody sort of figuring out how to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was a good time. Good time.
That's amazing. OK, so then you had to like kind of move to L.A..
Did you talk to L.A.? Yeah. And in that place were you what are you thinking. Are you like I'm going to be a television star now. Fuck you Broadway.
No, I didn't want to leave the Book of Mormon. I really did really know. I don't want to leave. I was very sad.
But you and Josh, we together. We left together. I think that's right. He was doing a show called Six.
I remember because my friend Jason Weiner, yes. Yeah, so we both got these deals at NBC and you were like, we're just like we're brothers and we're going to go from we're leaving Broadway to NBC. And then the both shows got canceled.
Well, that's life happens if that happens. And so then were you in L.A. or you like I want to go back to New York. I irons in the fire.
Do you have at any given moment the day the new normal was canceled? Lena called me and said, do you want to come back to girls? And like the hours after it was announced. And I said, yes, please. So then like two weeks later, I was on a plane and I went back to girl Gina. Yes.
And Jenny Conner said she was like, now that you're done with your network dalliance, why don't you come back to you're like, I didn't I didn't mind the network money. So I went straight back to girls.
Yeah. And girls was great because we felt I mean, it was great for a lot of reasons, but we filmed mostly like spring and summer. And then I had the rest of the year I always went back and did a Broadway show during the hiatus. So it like timed out perfectly that I would we would finish and then I would go and do like some I would fill in for somebody or replace somebody or so it was really.
Those are good. That's how you ended and ended up in Hamilton. Yeah.
Lynn called me and said I had not seen the show. I had put in four House seats at the public and was rejected.
I'm duded. I did not. And they had just they were about to open on Broadway and I was like, can you come in for like five weeks? And I was like, Yes, I have not seen it. Do you think I can get House seats now?
Oh, my God, that's hilarious.
So, yeah, so and it was while I was in rehearsals, I had a seat every night to watch the show, which, you know, it's like the hottest ticket in town.
And I always had a seat like on the fourth row in the aisle and felt like such a like, I don't know, I've never got tired of watching that show.
I would just like, go take a seat and like, you were a king. Look at me. Yeah. So that was fun to do.
That's fun. It's hard to work with Tommy. Yeah. Yeah. I like to drop in and do that for five weeks.
Like the biggest. It was pretty crazy. Yeah. And they had and luckily I mean they had just opened. Yeah.
It was, it was a crazy. I did see you was crazy. I did. Do you do it.
Yeah. You're amazing. Well thank you Jonathan. And I joked at the time that because I just you know, we, we kind of look we look pretty similar and we just joke that we were like it was like, oh, it's that white gay guy from HBO because he was on looking and I was on Girl.
It was like nobody cared. Nobody knew the difference. No. Just some nights by some white guy. Well, did you can I ask you a question about, you know, being gay, Javier? Did it ever do you do that? I love it.
It is so funny when you when you decided to. When you came to me to be an actor, Broadway's a little bit different than film, but did you ever feel like, oh, I shouldn't be out, out?
Well, no, there's no hiding it in so many ways. But because I'm in because, like, first of all, no one cared. Like, when I was just working on Broadway, like placement, nobody was asking.
But then when I got to when I was doing the Book of Mormon and I was thirty two, there was no going back. I mean, I had just sucked too many dicks at that point.
There was no denying. There was no way. There's no way I'm going that way.
So I just and then you know, you know girls I was playing a gay guy and Brian Murphy comes along and offers me a role like as a gay guy. And I feel like I feel very fortunate that I started working on film, like at a time where there's there are the stories that are being told are much more diverse and they're much, much more diverse, you know, opportunities for our actors to play.
And different stories are being told. And it's not just the sassy friend, the one liner. It's like there's there's, you know, full stories to be told and people to be played.
And so I feel very fortunate for that. And, you know, the fact that, you know, a couple of years ago in Berlin last year, the movie came out of boys in the band that we saw you in that to remember you did you did all your biggest thing, all the gays were in that.
But the fact that there was nine of us, nine out gay actors who all work very consistently and all sorts of things, I mean, that's really incredible.
It's incredible. It is. And when you think, you know who was there the night that I came to see it and he was backstage and everybody was freaking out.
Oh, yes. Who right. Yeah, he died shortly after that. He did.
But like, when you think about it, he did.
But like when you just think about the history. Yeah. Yeah. Actors.
Well, and he was interesting because I had I met him at South by Southwest when he had hit. There's this documentary about him that's really incredible.
And, you know, he's I mean, that was a very different time in the 50s. And I don't think he really came out officially until probably the 90s. And I think he you know, he was sort of surprised that I had the career that I had. He was like, wait, you're gay and you're on television.
And I was like, you know, me to my boyfriend.
And like, you know, it's like but he sort of seemed slightly baffled, as, you know, like how much how much had changed since he started his career that, like, you don't like.
But yeah, like he couldn't even sort of comprehend.
But it was very sweet that he was there and he came to see that show. And we all everybody we were everyone was real excited. Yeah. It was fun. I thought you were going to sit there was there was a night that Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange came together. What? And they all for some reason, my dressing room was like, where everyone. Well, I mean, I loved it, but they everyone just, like, hung out in my dressing room.
And we all would have, like drinks after the show. And we were all standing there and Jessica Lange is there. And she was like, what is that, bourbon?
And I was like, huh? So we like gave her a drink and she came and sat in my dressing room and.
Oh, my God, was goodtimes. That's fucking amazing.
That's another one. I've really crossed the line with Jessica Lange.
What'd you do? You did you try to make out with her? Well, I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just like I don't I just love her so much. And like a few times when I was doing the new normal and she was doing it was the second season of American Horror Story, we would be at the same events a lot.
I just decided that I was going to be like her like escort.
So like we would yeah. So we would go to like these weird parties and stuff. And I would just be like the gatekeeper to Jessica Lange. No.
Yeah, I remember going to that night, but the night before the Emmy's reality, that big thing and we were walking in together and she like took my arm but she loved it.
She did, you know, but I was pulling a huge I like walked in with like her like on my arm.
And then all night people were coming up to me and be like, will you introduce me to Jessica Lange? Oh, that you can access to such a position of power.
Did you. I want to know how now I was like, she needs a break. I was like, she can drink. Well, people do that to me with Michelle. They were like, can we can I talk to her? Well, a lot of times people think I'm just her publicist.
That's a fun that's a fun feeling. That's a really fun feeling that you that was probably pre Instagram.
I think now more people know who I am, but they're like, why is that girl from Instagram always with Michelle Williams?
But I, I feel like people I was a lot of times like the stop before getting to her. Sometimes you have to like I was the Gayle King, the girl.
I was like, people would come up and chat with me and then they'd be like, Oh, my God, Michelle. Well, and you do feel you do feel like a little protective.
I remember like when we were when I was much younger and still friends with Christina Ricci, but like going out with her and like and she's also so small, like she's such a little person that you feel like I felt like like I had to be like a bodyguard and be like, no, no, no, no.
Back up, back up. Don't touch her. How have you been?
How's it all been there in Coffs Harbour this time? No, it's it's been a nightmare.
No, it's you know, it hasn't been great. Has been great. You've worked a lot, though. I have managed to work a lot.
You know, that's where the writing thing comes in handy, is that when this started, I could still work on those projects that I had started. So that was good. But, you know, I feel like and I don't know if you feel the same, there are, you know, AIDS and bidets and there are days where, like, you can wake up and like you work out and you're feeling good and you get shit done. Right.
And then there are days where you just have to sit on the couch and watch Ozark for six hours. It's hard, though, right?
Like to motivate yourself because, I mean, I was used to a schedule and I had gone from, like boys in the band to Black Monday to the prom where like all of my days were accounted for. And like, you know, when you're working on anything like that, like, you just know, like and these are my work days and this is what I do. And then, like, when all of that goes away and luckily, like, I was healthy, my family was healthy, like all of that, you know.
No, I you know, that was all good. It's all happening. Yes.
But in the early days. But then to not have like a schedule, I was like, why do I do.
I know it's it happens now. What happens now? Yeah. Now I feel like people have figured out sort of a version of how to be normal, but it's certainly the normal, huh? Some might say that's fun and there's. Yeah. Let's hope this new normal is not cancelled. It's not cancelled. Thank you. We I have a question.
Bob Greenblatt. You have to go somewhere far prematch gone. I know, but he can't.
But he but also he probably could just reach back and cancel us all if he wanted to. He probably could. He didn't pick up my show, which led me to quit quitting acting. Was that the one with Casey? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I, like, decided I was not going to be an actor anymore. Our friend Casey Wilson is hilarious. Amazing. And so I Monday he caused a lot of drama in my life and he made Smash.
Yeah. And so what do you feel about Smash? I mean, I watched every episode. Yeah. Yeah. Were you mad you weren't on it? No.
You know what I was mad about? I was not name checked.
They would do they would do name checks once we saw Laura Benanti above a bar and like I was like, why can't I get one of my rude.
Yeah. Yeah. I was also I was also mad because like when you're going to keep saying when you're doing a Broadway show and there's like backstage fighting and things like that, like things like that, you know, will happen.
Usually the girls are all in wig caps like it's before their wigs are on.
Oh, that's amazing. And that is a detail I feel like was missed so specific.
I have seen catfights between girls like in full costume, full makeup, but a wig cap and just being like, you bitch and like fighting with each other and it's so entertaining.
Wait, that was like greatest thing I ever saw, such as a consultant.
It was such a missed opportunity. I was like, everyone should be in a wig cap.
They made sure Debra Messing had all those scarves, but not one wig cap.
Let me ask you a question. What is your what?
Well, I have so many questions still. And you have to go because, you know, I'm getting a physical or yearly physical. Yeah, we have two more minutes.
We what is are are you, like, attached to any upcoming Broadway situations?
I am not. I am not. I would love to be. I think everybody's sort of holding their breath to see, like, one that actually gets going again.
But I would love to find something if they did like a Book of Mormon thing.
Like where they filmed it have on stage, they would have to go on stage, we have to roll that camera back real far. I mean, I'm 42 and I have to sing a line that's I'm 19.
So I don't unless we're doing it at, like the Hollywood Bowl, I don't want to do that for charity.
Yeah, well, just the way they're aging me down on girls by that, are they?
I would need, like, the full Benjamin Button, like just like a wash.
You first of all, have a baby.
Just shoot me a blanket. Secondly, they would throw arms. Blanket is my favorite thing anyone's ever said to shoot me through a horse blanket. Well, you know, when you see those filters in your damn OK.
Well, I know there are some people I am fascinated on line up people who just choose to, like, really face tune like they do it so much they don't even have a nose.
You can't even. Yes, I know my favorite and I've had a few friends do this where they try to trim their waist.
But then. But then but then that fucks with the background. So like a tree will then have like a weird bend in it or like you're like, you can't do that.
Kim Kardashian is doing that. And people are like Salvador Dali stairs. Do you have like OK, so your book. We didn't even talk about your book. I wrote a book.
You wrote a book. I went to your book launch. Casey Wilson. I know you want. I was already it was so foreign you had that was a good way to do it.
You didn't do anything.
No, we did like a couple events. I don't know. That was all.
I would love to take another whack at that whole rollout process because it's hard to I didn't know what I was doing. And I no one tells, you know, and and as much as I talk to people and I love my, you know, book agent and I, you know, he's great and nobody really prepares you for, like, what that is going to be like touring around. Like, I went to like many different cities and it's like events or I didn't have to.
Oh, it's I mean, it's crazy.
It's cool because you get to see people and you get to I would have like to do more. It was I mean, I and I enjoyed aspects of it, but yeah.
I'd like to take another whack at that. Yeah. Do you want to write another book or. I would love to yeah. I mean I kind of started like right away because I don't know if you felt this way, but like once you're in the habit of doing that. And because my book was essays that were sort of standalone essays, it wasn't necessarily so linear. I just kept doing it. So I have yeah, I have. I did not write.
I did not keep doing it.
You fell. Have you always been a writer? Yeah. I mean I've always kept a journal and then things like that, but um. Yeah but I never thought I'd share any of it. Really.
Yeah. Was it a big deal.
Do you have conservative family like in Nebraska and stuff now.
But like I just, I told my mother I was like, look, there's going to be some stuff in here that you're not going to want to hear.
So if you get to a page with too many dicks on it, just flip ahead because. So, yeah, if you get through a page with too many dicks on it, that's your Oprah moment. I need you to repeat that. If you get to a page with too many dicks on it, just flip a hat, flip ahead.
I was like, you know, honestly, that's great advice for most people. Yeah, right. I mean, if you're uncomfortable with it, like just flip out.
Also ahead, if there's not enough dicks, mom, will that good point. You know, sometimes let's not waste our time. That was that was actually a title. You know, they ask you for all your idols. And I sent some, like, bogus ones just to, like, shake it up because they're a little sometimes they're a little stiff. And one of my titles was so many dicks, so few names.
I stop it now. Oh, my God, I love it so much. And they took it seriously. And they're like, I don't think we can do this one. I was like, obviously that's a joke. They were very serious. I was like, no, that's I'm not going to put that on a book.
Is there a dream role that you on Broadway that you haven't been able to do that you would like kill like a revival of something? Or like is there like something that your dad like when I get old enough?
Uh, yeah. Like Sweeney Todd like that. Really to do that. Yeah. But I would need to I need to like 10 more years, drop my I need my voice to drop a little bit. Oh, really? I don't know that song really well, but I love that show. I mean, all of that Sondheim catalog, like anything from Sondheim, basically.
Well, you're going to have to fight Jake Gyllenhaal.
I think that that is real in there.
That's a you know, I like to see me too. Actually, it's a fight I'd like to be in. Not like that.
You guys say anything from Sondheim Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Yeah. And when are you going to do like you said, you like a like would you ever do like a one man show with songs in it?
Yeah, I got to do a couple of years ago, I got to do just like it was very it was short but I did a special for Lincoln Center for PBS.
Yeah. And it was really fun. I was terrified to do it, but I would I would love to do another one of those.
Yeah I did see you're doing some sort of like performances, some sort of autobiographical like from your book. Should we try to look into a musical, a musical.
We can we we could try you and me. We could try where Scott Rudin, where's Rosie O'Donnell when you need her?
Rosie. Rosie, she's in my telephone. I'll give her a listen to me saying here's what I'm saying. We take your book, we turn it into a musical. I put it up at the public, put it the public. Tommy can direct it. Tommy, you'll direct it. Sure. He's here.
We'll do it with friend Tommy Cale. It'll be mostly a one man show, but I will pop in. Oh, yeah.
You'll be like just. Yeah, yeah. There's a I'm I'm like your mom.
And then I'm like, oh, good idea that you tried to make out with in high school. Now you're like, I'm gay, you know, or whatever.
I don't know what that song is, but I work on it. It's not original songs. I think it's like songs from the time. I think that would be better if it was.
Yeah, if it was like song like it's like cover. Yeah it's yeah. It's a jukebox musical guys bridgid manifesting it. Let's manifest it. I can help you with that. I know how to do that.
I have to go get a physical medium, turn your head and cough. I'm going to have to have. Yeah I'm all finger up your butt over forty. You get your prostate checked so enjoy that we go.
Do you want to come with me now. I don't, I don't need, I'm not in the mood for that but today. But I actually have to go to work. I love you. You're going to be late for your doctor.
I'll walk fast. I'll be great. Thank you for having me say I love you too.
I hope. Thank you.
I'm also like I just want to say I appreciate that at twenty three years old, you thought your Broadway dreams had died.
And then thankfully, Bernie Telsey thought to call you back in for Tabu. And here we are. And here we are. Thanks, braincells. And and I'm glad you're not still directing kids cartoon. You me both. Because I think that what the talent that you have deserved to be shared with the world. Thank you. Busy. Well, it's true. It's sweet of you. Thank you for having me into your mind. I love you too.
OK, I'm going to see you very soon, but I'll see you in a minute.
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What a delightful. Person, I love Andrew so much. He's very funny and he's very generous with his funny stories. He is. And he's also like, you feel like he gets it like like you. You'll listen to the interview, his thing.
I wasn't there, but I agree with everything that these two people have said. Thank you.
Thank you for being such a nice man, because here's the thing. I wouldn't thank you unless they told me you were thinking. And that's the way I live. My life is so cute.
And the prom I we Bertie and I have watched the prom. And, you know, there's some emotion, emotional stuff in there. But like, it's just fun and sweet and good. It's just good. I like it. I like it. So I like it. It's a great review. Busy anyway. Guys, we love you. Are you getting your merch? We've seen some merch pick some great merch pics, make sure you tag us so that we can repost them or post them or do something with them.
I don't know. Or just like them. Acknowledge their beauty. Yeah. Acknowledge I'll acknowledge.
I love to acknowledge the Instagram.
The official Instagram for this podcast is at BP is doing her best. You should follow that. Probably. You should also subscribe, download and share this podcast with your friends if you think that they would like it and they would like to download it.
And if you think your enemies wouldn't like it, send it and make them listen to it out of spite.
Yeah, that's a good point.
And I think we also did another round of group chat, so that's going so hopefully that's going well for you.
Oh, we paired up. Yep.
Nice. That's a fun. Yeah, that is fun. Tell us about your group chats. Email us at busy doing her best at Gmail dot com with any group chat information we can do some advice.
OK, so you look like you, you're in a music video. What's going on over there.
You like my house is all windows so it's just like you can't really it's you're always just light from every direction. So it looks like I'm in heaven. Yeah. You want to take a picture of it so we can show people. But but you do anyway. You look like you're in a VH1 video. I only like like an adult contemporary.
My house is all all windows. It's which is nice. But that's why I have to put sunblock on the second the sun comes up so I don't turn to a white reason. You're delicate, your delicate alabaster skin.
I protect that delicate skin. These guys. I have to say something I can't even believe I forgot. This is Gina's birthday to day one Instagram.
She be, you know, a year old. I haven't even posted for her yet. If I didn't post, did it even happen? But and it's five o'clock, but it's still like early.
Were you on the West Coast and also she's a dog. Yeah. And she doesn't have in his room. No, I'm saying I mean, she doesn't know that you you're late.
Yeah. Just tell her birthday's tomorrow. Yeah. I've done that to my children. We know that's like one of my favorite toy. My favorite one of our favorite story. Do you want me to tell you the story real quick? When my son Lincoln was very little, it was his birthday. My husband was away at grad school doing a residency and my older son knew that it was Lincoln's birthday. But I said, here's what we're going to do.
We're going to just have a regular day today and then we're going to have a party when Daddy gets home for Lincoln's third birthday. And so we made it through the whole day. And my older son surprisingly didn't say a word because he's not the best at keeping secrets. And so he helped me read stories to his baby brother. And I talked him in bed and then I said, Goodnight, Lincoln. And then I said, Happy birthday. And Lincoln's I snapped open and he said, Party.
Go back and be like, it's your birthday by having a party when I get home. Thanks a lot, Eli. That's my favorite story.
And that's how it became my son. I'm not in the party because every once in a while I'll just say I'll be like, What are we doing party. I love you. So small, so cute. I love him anyway.
Anyway, well, I found nine pennies today.
Whoa, that's crazy. You're on control. No. Well I know. Well also though it's crazy because I do you know, people are like you find them because you look for them. I do look for them. Yeah that's true. And you know what I. Days and days, days and so and occasionally a week without finding a penny, and I get sad and then. There's a day like today where it's just a windfall and like the pennies are not easy to see, like they're like.
Oh, hey, birthday girl, she's here. B.V., there she is, she's one happy birthday. Happy birthday, Gina. You too, Queen. You true?
Birdwing eaten that bitch, you guys for her birthday. Should I just let Gina OK?
Oh, my God. I can't believe I didn't start with this story. But you know what, fuck?
We should get rid of everything else that was in the podcast and start over right now. You want to start the podcast over. But we can't we can't start it over. OK, guys, listen, can I just tell you the story real fast? Yes. Per year I woke up with jeans early, like I always wake up at seven a.m. naturally, unless I have like a five a.m. call like I do tomorrow. So seven a.m., get up.
Go to the bathroom. I have the worst stay day of the worst of my period.
So to change my period underwear. And then I take Gina downstairs. She's impatient. She is ready to go downstairs and it's her birthday. She knows you're down the stairs. I let her out. It's cold. She marches downstairs and pees and comes right back up. This is our routine. I make my coffee, then I make her little meal and then she eats. I drink my coffee. Then she needs to go out and poop. Then we both sit on our chairs and I look at the Internet.
So anyway, barring any, like, craziness. Right. Like a dead chicken wing or something. So this morning, birthday girl does our routine. I put her back, I let her go back outside. She tells me she needs to go back out.
I let her back outside and I was sort of just like looking online and look at, you know, there's a lot to look at these days.
And and then I looked out back and I saw she had pooped and she was like wandering around. And I was like, oh, no, she's just like exploring. And then I looked again and she had gone back to the poop and was like looking like it was a tasty snack or something.
So they will eat their own poop. So I open the door. It's cold. I can't, like, leave the door open like Janah, get back up here. Oh well she turned around. Yeah. So I'm like, Gina, get back up here and she comes up and you guys, she had a piece of poop like a cigar.
So I like a little cigar, like a little stubby cigar. And I was like, oh no.
I then that's the moment that, like, Mark came downstairs and it's almost I think it's like eight o'clock at this point.
And I'm like, oh my God, oh my God. What do I do? What do I do.
What the fuck. Yeah, you got to get it out quick. I was like, I know. Give me some I don't know what to do.
And somebody like, hands me a paper towel, but then I start gagging. I'm like, I'm gonna throw up.
I have to like pry open her jaws to pull this tiny little nugget of shit out of Gina's mouth. And then I'm like, like gagging, trying not to throw up. And then Gina's like standing there and then Mark's, like, still mad at me about it. He's like, you can't let her out there. You've got to pick up the poop right away.
I was like, I didn't know. I didn't know she would eat her poop and then try to bring it back in. And so anyways, so then I got the little nugget out. I didn't throw up, put it in a poop bag, whatever. And then she trotted in and laid down on the floor and then just was chewing something. And I liked it hadn't gotten at all. And then I ran over to try to get it and she swallowed her own poop.
And that's how she started the day. It's her feeding. It's her birthday.
Birthday. I was like I was like, live it up, girl. Yeah, I guess. How is it fucking Monday?
I'm so fucking tired. Aren't we all. Yeah, we are. What are you well.
We sure we should let you go so you can celebrate with Gina. We should wrap it up with this little jerk. Look, she's so cute. One 11, she was born. She's a magic pup. So cute. It's a good number.
You guys really did hit me like I think I need to.
Like, I was like contemplating stopping drinking again.
But maybe you can't do it till after the coup. Yeah, until after this is all said and done after the intervention, because this is all fake.
The year starts January 21st. You could be dry. And also, like so many people are doing so great with their sobriety.
And that's amazing. But also, like, if you're not sober and you want to have a drink, like, don't beat yourself up about it.
Yeah, right. Like, if you're not like right after this, if you're not like a person who is actively in recovery or whatever. Yeah, yeah. You know, we just have to be easy on ourselves.
You know, I've just been really hard on myself and I need to not be. And I know. I know. I know. I know. But I just am like hard. This week has been hard.
Everyone's always more gentle with other people were never gentle with our own body. So it's it's something that has to be relearned.
I'm not the boss of crazy, but you should treat yourself the way you treat other people.
You should try sometimes.
I'm real hard on other people though too, but they fucking deserve it.
Not that you're really not that hard, by the way. You're like I mean, listen, you can say that you but you're you're you're not that hard on people, in my opinion. Thanks, Casey. You're a good friend. All right, guys, we love you. This has been a really weird episode, but it's been a really weird it's been a really sad day.
It's been a really weird it's been a really weird ellipsis.
And we'll we'll talk to you all all week, but we'll talk to you again for sure next week. And we love you. Love you. Bye, guys, I.