Guys, I have to tell you something. OK? Oh, no, I am going to cry.

We did sell our. Oh, bloody.

Wow. Oh, my goodness.

Hey, everybody, everybody, it's a new week feels kind of the same as last week in many ways. Absolutely. President still has not conceded. They're still trying to steal some votes.

Oh, my Georgiade. I mean, it's a mess, it's like I don't even feel like their heart is truly in it, I feel like I agree, you know, they're just like going through the motions to be like, look, I tried to steal votes for you. It didn't work out. I'm sorry. I know it's very I don't know at this point. I'm like, can we just get on with it? Let's just get on with that.

Stick up by 60 something days. I can't wait. We're so we're so close.

I'm scared about the pandemic coming back. I don't know if you guys are having some I mean, feelings about that. Did it ever leave? Yeah. No, but it did the dip that we all discussed that we knew it was going to do and the dip gave people a false sense of security. And also hearing these tales, various tales from people in places where they're like patients coming in, dying of covid, being put on ventilators that are like screaming at them, that it's not a real thing.

That really. Yeah, right.

That nurse that's wiring.

That's wild. I'm sorry to start the show on such a bummer. Well, you know what, we didn't even say what the show is. What is this show saying on this show? It's called Busy.

Phillips is doing her best and you are hearing busy Phillips eat soup.

I'm eating my meatball minestrone soup ginger.

That that laugh. You hear that adorable. That's one J.A.G. Jackson. I wish I had some soup. What would be what would be the worst thing?

I mean, eating anything on the podcast is insane. You hate I mean, but I've eaten so much on this podcast. I would say the worst thing you can eat on the podcast.

I think Burrito's what sounds bad and it's going to be hard to control. So like I burritos or tacos, I was going to say I actually think that my salads are the grossest because they're so crunchy and I like shove so much lettuce in my mouth and I try to like it's just not good.

You guys, if I listen, if you are a fan of listening to busy eat salad or soup, let us know. And like, maybe we can make like just a loop of it and put it like an asthma attack.

Is it an anthem. Ah yeah. Just like people are into that. I don't like Spotify. It really, it doesn't you know either like makes you horny for it or like you hate it. I hate it. I think it gives me the heebie jeebies. You know, I have that thing.

You what. It's when you listen to call out. No it's called like cintas auditory. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Oh yeah. What is it. Misophonia.

I have misophonia. Yeah I have Muzaffarnagar. Misophonia is where like certain sounds and and it also is like I mean not a joke. I've, I've really tracked it. It's dependent to my menstrual cycle as well. Oh. She's like tied to my menstrual cycle and and like all kinds of things, you know, like, like any mental thing.

But where I, I have a hard time separating out the sounds in terms of importance.

So sometimes, like, it'll sound to me like Mark is eating like inside my head and I can't. And then if somebody is talking, it's like the same volume as the eating dinner. I'm saying yes. So I get this it it's it's not all. It's not always. But when it happens, it gets. It it feels like somebody's scratching nails on a chalkboard from the inside out is what it feels like to me, like in my brain that when it gets oh it is so fucking intense.

And when it happens to I like I get like real twitchy and weird.

And Burty has it, too. Of course.

I'm also like that too, about eating like my husband. But here's the thing. My husband is so lovely that he just knows and he doesn't take it personally. And so as soon as he sits down with a plate of anything, if I'm at the table, he'll just click on music or whatever, because it's just that helps. Like, that helps. It does help deliver used diffuse the noise.

But he knows that, like, it's just disgusting and that I am dying inside.

You can see it on my face when I'm going through it like I have no you know, I have no poker face anyway. But when I'm in one of my sort of spaces in my brain where it's really crunchy, I like I like one, I kind of like starts to close a little bit.

I'm just like trying so hard not to focus on it, but it's all I can fucking hear. Yeah.

Sometimes Thanksgiving is the worst time for me of all time.

I can imagine. There's a lot of reasons why they can't be back.

12 people just shoving wet stuffing in their mouths.

It do you call it stuffing or you call it dressing. I got the thing same. Same you call it dressing.

My grandmother makes dressing, which I think is a different thing. I don't like either of it because I think it all seems like somebody chewed bread, spit it out and then put it on a plate.

So I don't like crunchy, though. I don't like either. I don't like Whitbread in any context. So I'm not a fan. But are you tomato, tomato dressing or stuffing? Let us know.

It's like a very it's like a very buttery bread casserole toast. I love ties casserole. I do love it. I love you.

I'm really sad about Thanksgiving, about not just not seeing my family this year, but also we used to throw a really big Thanksgiving like an orphan Thanksgiving with like fifty people. And so just to have three people having like a teeny Thanksgiving feel so sad to me.

Last year I went to the biggest, blackest, most Jamaican fucking Thanksgiving. It was like fifty people and like 40 of them were Jamaican. I all made like homemade fucking like jerk chicken. It was the coolest. And I will be in my house to make it free this year.

That sounds really nice. Yeah, we just ordered like a little turkey breast being delivered. Yeah, I'm going to cook because you don't learn a whole lot. You don't need it.

Well, no, it's it's just that little just like a little turkey breast and I do like stuffing but my girls don't like Thanksgiving food. There you go.

I mean I think the staples for me that I'm going to miss is that like my grandma always makes me a cake, but I guess I can make my own boo and then like I can, I know how to make all that stuff. Like when I was I feel like a lot of people, when they get older, you start like when you go home, you'll be like, will you show me how to make this? Like, it feels like, oh, you're getting older.

Like you're not going to be able to make me macaroni and cheese till I'm fifty, which is like sad. But I went in the last few times I've gone home, I've been really adamant about, like cooking with my grandmother and like having her show me how to make stuff.

So this Thanksgiving, I don't feel too bad about cooking because most of the shit I want to make, I already you know how to do it. Yeah. Like it is nice to wake up and have someone else because I can give you my best Thanksgiving recipe right here.

It what it is, you take one can of whole berry cranberry sauce, you take one can of crushed pineapple, drain the crushed pineapple, save the juice for a cocktail, stir the two cans together and it's way better than any cranberry sauce you have ever had.

I believe it. It's just like sweet deliciousness. Yeah.

It's just I'm into it. It's so much better. You can put a little cinnamon or like a little pinch of cloves in there if you like. You can grate some citrus rind on it if you want, but it's perfect.

I feel like a citrus rind, like even if you zest it. Yeah. If you do like that cool thing with the knife, where to turn to really thing. If you do that to just about anything, people will be impressed.

You just be like and I put litmus test on it. People are like, oh OK. Yes. So you have definitely had me out of this. Do it for yourself. You deserve even though you're going to be home alone on Thanksgiving, you deserve zest.

You deserve zest. Shinjo The zest. What are you doing your best out this week? What am I doing my best this week? I am working out, I'm working out, I'm giving up.

And I'm like jogging and stretching because this whole year has been really about like, you know, like reclaiming my body. Yeah. And I just feel better now.

I feel like I got a second wind after the election where I felt like working up. Now I'm like, well I feel like living gork. So I have been working out and it's been terrible but also good. The first couple of weeks are always bad and then you get into it.

I mean, you know, my feeling I feel like it's like integral to my mental health and well being the the working around. Yes, I feel better. Yeah. I feel like I done something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm glad. I do feel like in retrospect, while we can all agree that on the whole twenty twenty was a fucking dumpster fire of trash. Absolutely. I think we should all be able to take something away from it for ourselves personally maybe.

And shouldn't I really just see this recurrent theme for you, which is like taking control of your health and wellbeing? That's what I'm trying to do. I'm proud of you.

Thank you. That means a lot. Thank you. You say what about. Yeah. What I like about Starbucks.

So like I took this short term job, so and it's really it's just a lot of work. It's a lot of work all at once. And I'm trying to have a super good attitude about it. But it's you know, it's hard just because it's really hectic and I'm just trying to focus on what I can control. But there is one thing that I can't control that I want to talk to you guys about and see if it ever happened to you.

I my left armpit will not stop smelling like it. It's so weird. Let me just run this down for you. And I know busy, busy has no body odor whatsoever. My husband also no body odor whatsoever. I do. Well, sometimes I'm stinky, so let me see what I do.

I have like normal armpits and like I used antiperspirant, deodorant. And so I obviously have continued doing that. But for some reason, my left armpit, like, is just immune to antiperspirant and deodorant right now. What the hell is that? I've been trying everything to cure it. I've I don't I'm at a loss. And my husband says that one of his armpits has been stinking more than the other.

OK, have you been eating anything different? Not or vitamins. Taking vitamins? No. See my stuff. Same stuff, OK, different vitamins. Thank you.

We are so far left, but it has to be your left, your left is left armpit smells more. And I've even like I've gone to the trouble of, like, really carefully applying because, you know, you just put, like, antiperspirant on, like in a rush in the morning. But I'm like, let me make sure I do several wide, slow strokes so that my left armpit doesn't smell like I'm I'm wondering a few things.

Number one, if you need to do a vinegar wash in your laundry of all of your shirt. OK, guys, if you don't know this, this is a secret from a person who has worked out a lot for five years. You vinegar weirdly get smell out, it gets like the oil of like BAEO out of clothes.

All right. Just like regular white vinegar, like white vinegar, five years. You know, somebody is going to go home and try to throw some apple cider in the bath. I was going to say I actually have used apple cider in a pinch.

Whiter than white vinegar is like the go to for the gold.

Yeah, it's good for cleaning just in general. Yeah. If you want to really deep clean up your act, I will try that. I might just deep clean my armpit with white vinegar. I don't know, I just. What about a witch hazel. Have you been using witch hazel on your own ideas.

Which Hazel on my face sometimes but I haven't put that on my armpit. But it's also like just FYI, just to clarify, it's not like a normal amount of both smell.

It's like super, super BAEO. And I'm not here for it because I like to smell nice.

Know you're going on. It does seem weird. I'm so sorry. It made me laugh so hard. But just thinking about what it's.

No, I'm trying to figure out a way you can just smell my armpit, come to my driveway.

All I hear about.

But I feel. Are you my one? It might be hormonal. I mean, like we've gone through a lot. I think that like, how long has it been stinky? Because I think that our bodies are also changing because we've been holding on to so much like saddlery toxicity about the whole world. Yeah, I think your body might like that. Might be like the last four years. Ah, I hate to use this word, but have been pretty unprecedent when it comes to like our emotional wellbeing.

And maybe your armpit is where you really like fucked up shit.

Yeah, that is sadness and trauma. Yeah. All your sadness comes out of there also like it's not right to be, not to be hippy dippy but like the left side of your body is like correlates to like the maternal side of your body, like your mom's and your right side is correlates to like your paternal. So like if you've like, healed something or like done something related to anything on the maternal side of your family, maybe that might have something to do with it.

OK, these are all good thoughts. I'm going to after I laughed so hard, I think I finally found out about it. Do you sleep on your left side?

I toss and turn all night. I'm like, sleep on my stomach, sleep on both sides, sleep on my back.

OK, I too am a rotisserie. I broke on me so. Yeah. So OK, I'm going to look into all of this. I'll let you know what happens. It's really weird. The only time I've ever had anything like this is after I gave birth to my children. I did have like a little industrial strength both in my armpits for a little while. And it was hormonal, but it was both armpits. So this is the weird thing that it's just like one armpit.

Yes, I check every time I'm like, we'll have our mistakes. And then I smell the other one and that one's fine.

So weird that so doing, you know. Well, if anybody knows if anybody is like an endocrinologist out there and they're like, oh yeah, that's a very common left arm, blah, blah, blah, if you like really know.

But like if you don't know, don't be weird.

Don't be weird to us.

If you don't actually know, that's you know, that's just what I've been like when I have a spare minute during this time of working to think about anything that has to do with something that's not work. I've just been thinking about my Arpad a little bit.

My God. That's why you guys last night Birdie came in to crickets bed to like and I like said the girls, we could all watch a vid together, you know, before bed. Yeah. And then she laughed and I was like, like snuggling in with cricket.

And she's got those like big squishy, fluffy, like they're like pillows but they're shaped like weird stuffed animals, like stuffed animals. And I was like, what smells weird.

And I smelled the top of her favorite guy and it smelled like Birdie's BAEO smelled like her armpit because Berty is like a like a like a teenager. Yeah. And I was like, oh no. And then cricket was like, what is that? And she looked at me.

She goes. Thirty six. I swear to God, no. There she goes.

That's why I didn't want her in my bed.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I just. I feel like it's just going around. It's just I feel like I will die.

I will not go to any of cricket's stuff.

And she was like she was like before she went to bed last night, she was like, let's I said, we can flip it over. It'll be OK, you can flip it over. And she's like, right, but when I'm at school tomorrow, can you please wash it off like. Yes, I think it'll go away.

I need to get some Fairbreeze up in here. Yeah. Now I understand all those commercials with the moms, with the teenagers.

I know they're stinky. I mean, especially if, like, go on to do any sports like my basketball gear and my softball gear. Shinjiro, I'm sorry.

I'm going to just have to stop if she wants to do any sports.

You just said about Birdie Silvers saying, hey, listeners who know she might go to a sporting event and get sweaty, I don't know, basketball sweater for everyone gets sweaty.

Even she's learning her one direction. And Harry Styles dances Tic-Tac. Oh, my God. Harry Styles. She's obsessed. She's obsessed. She's making me watch a lot of Harry Styles videos. I got to say, I'm kind of obsessed now, too. You really do love that. He's worthy of obsessing. We've talked to you about him a lot. Like a cute little buddy. Yeah, he's definitely doing his best and he's leading a conversation. He is.

I like the conversation so much. I'm glad that it's like being hot and I'm just fuckin sick of these fucking haters.

I think the conversation being Harry Styles appeared in a dress on the cover of Vogue magazine, Vogue magazine, and it caused a lot of people to, like, lose their shit.

And they marched in and was like, do you know who can just O'Higgins is like that.

She is interested. I like people who don't like her such journey that she was the worst. I did not say that, like, people don't like her, but you can't say it. But I can. I know. I know. That's why I'm saying you can. I we I don't want to say to her, please feel free to text Birdie with that later.

Yeah. She was real, real heated about something. Yeah.

Yeah. About you know, like where where are the manly men. And like we can't have men wearing dresses and whatever and like what's not masculine about Harry Styles. Like first of all masculine is like a false construct.

Right. And you know, and asking where masculine men have gone. I mean, you guys know I love Prince.

That man was wearing makeup in heels and lace back in the 70s, in the in the early 80s, you know, so I mean, and he he could steal anyone's girl, correct?

Yes, truly. I just really probably did. He did. Yeah.

It's all a construct in so many ways. And it's also what she's talking about is actually.

Like upholding the patriarchy, that's what she's talking about. Yes, and it's just so fucked for so many anyway, I don't care. I don't care about her. I don't I don't care about her.

But herself looks great in the dress. I love it right on the Vogue cover. And it's a good conversation to have because fluidity is like, I think the future. And if, like, a hot, sexy white boy does it, people will accept it.

You remember like there was like a time when Brad Pitt was always in, like a mini dress posing for some editorial. I mean, Kurt Cobain, it's the classic thing of like kind of dudes who want to try to be a part of dismantling the patriarchy. Is there like I feel good in a dress. I like wearing a short.

Yeah, Jaden did it to Jada, did more straight and did I mean, Jamie just wears whatever he wants a lot of that man outfit to wedding, whatever I'll just wear or whatever. And I love it because it goes back to like if you tell a man that he's wearing a dress is somehow damaging and and detrimental, why why is it what he was saying about wearing a dress?

We have to get past that. I always just think that the.

Greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing women that equality meant acting like men in the workplace and in society.

Yeah, when in actuality the thing that's going to be progressive actually do something for our world would be that if we allowed all of ourselves to, like, lean into the thing that inherently makes us us, and then we allowed one another to like, learn and become better from it, as opposed to trying to squash it in the out of the other person, gender, sex, ethnicity, race, whatever the fuck.

It's just like to be wild and say, oh, guys, guys, here we are.

I had to I had to eat again while we were doing this podcast. And you know what? I'm pretty sure I have a little bit of oregano in these bottoms faculty that I have wanted to straighten these teeth for so long, but I've been putting it off because I thought it was too much hassle. Well, I'm done putting it off because Candide is going to straighten my teeth. They make it easier, simpler, more comfortable than ever. Simpler and easier or probably the same, like very similar words, almost similes, if you will.

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Listen, guys, the election's over, and yet you still can't sleep. What's that about?

I know it's because you need a mattress, you need a new mattress. You're sleeping on a bed mattress.

I actually have been having a real rough time because this place came partially furnished.

So the mattress in this bed, in our rental room, the rental primary bedroom, I did not I just was here. So I was like I was fine. They're like, it's a new mattress. I'm like, I haven't I, I can't. We can't. We've got to get a helix. So here's what you do. You take a little quiz. It's two minutes. It's it it matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress.

Everyone's unique and Helix knows that. So they have several different mattresses, models to choose from. Their soft medium firm mattress is great for cooling you down if you need if you sleep hot. Are you a hot sleeper? Yes. I'm not a hot sleeper, I'm a cold sleeper, really interesting, but is always cold. Michelle, give me that.

Michelle, give me that fancy crystal heating pad thing that, you know, will help. But, yeah, it does warm my butt. I'm always hot in bed. I'm always hot out of bed, but I'm cold in bed. And I hope that's not a metaphor for that anyway. Oh, they also have a helix plus mattress for plus sized people. I loved the little quiz and got matched with the mattress and now it's here. And I like I guess I like four mattresses.

I you know, I it's really helped my body. Yeah. You just have to be gentle on your body. Were very rough on our bodies.

That's right. So Epsom salts, baths and get yourself a helix mattress. Those are my two suggestions for you. If you're looking for a mattress in the market, take the quiz. Order the mattress that you're match to the mattress comes right to your door, shipped for free. You don't ever need to go to a mattress store again. Helix is awesome, but you don't need to take our word for it. Helix was awarded the number one best overall mattress pick of twenty twenty by both GQ and Wired magazine.

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Guys, I have to tell you something. OK? Oh, no, I am going to cry. We did sell our. Oh, buddy, I know it's really the right thing to do.

It really is. I really feel like it is.

And I also feel like like if 20, 20 was about U.A. getting healthy or focusing or on advocating for yourself. For me. I think it was about not remaining stagnant and not yeah, and and and allowing the truth of a thing to be to come to light, you know, which is the. I always talk about like I love, love our house, you know, we were it was the only house that Mark and I have had together and had both of our kids there and been there for 14 years and.

We've tried so hard for so many years to make it like exactly perfect, and we've done. A really good job at it. It is exactly perfect in so many ways, but the bottom line is the. I never, for a lot of reasons that I don't really want to get into right now, like I never felt safe there and I never felt comfortable, really comfortable there. And I feel like that's also, you know, we could say that, that.

Could apply to other parts of my life, right, that I probably need to examine as well, but so I just feel like but also but also it doesn't have to the house and selling the house doesn't have to mean it can also just be we're selling this house. It doesn't have to like be a metaphor for everything in my life.

But everything that's in the house still gets to be with you. Everything. They want to read stuff they wanted. Why do you want stuff like I mean, I built this really beautiful. Yeah, no, I mean, no, of course. And stuff is stuff like I'm I am a person who keeps stuff and collects stuff, but like the.

Did you guys ever read The Memory Palace, that book about the competition, award winning memory, like one of the competitions is to remember every card in a 50 to pack of cards.

Back deck of cards like that have been shuffled up. Yeah, like you get to see them for like a second and then remembering every single one.

And so you build. This house, but you you put it like in your like the house, you know best, right? So you walk like the front door and then, you know, and that's the ace of spades. And then. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And you go through the whole thing and like, that's how that's one track.

Like one way that these people remember the deck of cards. Right.

I just feel like I it is my memory palace, you know, it's just not cards. Right. And like, I have a I do have a crazy memory. Everybody I guess the people came. It's not I guess I know the people came back to see the house and Ray was there while they were there and hopefully not partying.

Such a vibe. No, he knew they were coming. And and I guess somebody said to him, like, there's so much storage here and they have so much they have so much stuff.

How does she like how do you organize it for her? How does she tell you what she needs, like in New York, if she needs some Bulba and he's like busy has the craziest memory, she knows exactly where everything is and she will call me and say, like, go upstairs into the guest bedroom and the third draw down in the cabinet, buy the thing like there's going to be a piece of paper under that is in the folder I need.

And it is true like I have that in this house.

And like part of what I think I don't know, I don't know what this fucking time is for anyone, you know what I mean? Yeah. But I do feel like I have been emotionally sort of like stagnant. And I've been feeling and I had this realization like, well, if you don't feel safe in your home, like for whatever reason, like, then is it your dream home. Right.

It's not wherever you are.

I mean, they always are like, what is it like home is where the heart is. Yeah, it seems kind of cliche, but I think that it's the people that you're with and how it makes you feel to be there with those people like we are really attached to like where we put our stuff. But I think it's more important to focus on, like we're having our experiences with and when we acquire that stuff. So as we like move also 20/20 has just been like Buckwild.

So like as you move away from that house, like literally and figuratively, you also are like moving to a new place so that you can build those like a home of where the heart is wherever you are now. Because this is a new city. This is a new house. A new dog. Yeah. People always say this was just going around Twitter.

And somebody said, what would you grab from your house if you could only grab one thing before leaving?

But like, you know, if you could if you if you could only grab certain things from your house before leaving, you have all those things, you know what I mean? That's that's all that really matters. You know, everything else is just stuff. And I left a lot of stuff behind, too, when I came from the East Coast to the West Coast, you know, and it's all kind of like still there. But somebody else is living in my house.

We didn't sell our house, but it's like someone else's house now, too.

You know, that was the realization I had was that we got a couple people who are interested in renting it.

And I was like I had this realization that I was like, I don't know what they're going to be doing in that house.

What what if I don't like what they're doing right in my house? Yeah. You know, and I don't know those people. And they could and they're going to be what? And then I and it really dawned on me, like, if it's it's not an investment property, do you know what I mean? It's a home that, like, deserves to be loved by the people who are living there and not the renters aren't don't love their homes.

Guys. I'm not saying that.

I'm just saying like that people were trying to rent my house. I don't think we're going to love it. Oh, yeah. I liked its proximity to they were gonna light arms.

And even in a rental space, the place I used to live in, like when I first moved to L.A., it was like a like a like I Instagram apartment. Yeah. It was just like hot influencers living there. Yeah. And I was like I was just in the elevator with them and I was like, they are definitely fucking up this apartment.

Like you, you have you know, by people are like this is not my house. Like it's like when you go to a hotel and you're like, I'm going to sleep all day because like at home I have to like be a grown up people. You we've all met people who you are like, if I had a place to rent, I would not let you rent my apartment. You are going to destroy my house. Yeah, I like I wasn't I loved by like last rental that I lived in with Emily Beebe in Hancock Park.

We lived in this really cute duplex.

I loved it. But for sure, like when we moved out, the owner was like, how long is this window been leaking? It's like rotted. And I was like, oh, I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know. I never even occurred to me.

So anyway, this has been really very hard. Highly emotional and intense several days for me and my family, and we told the girls, and this is the other thing that I want to say, though, because this is what this fucking podcast is about, is about like Pivot's and like trying to figure shit out. Right. Like. I went to Mark. In September and I was like, I feel like shit, I don't want to stay here, we got to get the fuck out.

And he was like, OK, all right, I'm with you. If that's what you need, let's just say yes, let's go to New York for three weeks, I found this like Airbnb for three weeks in New York. We can go do that. OK, great. We came here. I got this fucking job. My kids, I feel better physically. My kids are doing really well. And then randomly, like through like a series of events ended up getting into this awesome school.

We're like Birdie's thriving and like has friends and their pods are like their covid protocol is like so intense. And I feel really comfortable about it because of how intense they are. And like but the kids still get to have interactions with other kids right within their little pods. And like the way things have sort of fallen into place in so many ways, just really feel like to me that that's the that's the lesson. Right. Like that's the thing to take away, which is that, like, you just have to follow your truth.

I had a really intense feeling. Yeah. Yeah. And it seemed insane. And I felt and I even felt like, oh my God, are people going to be mad at me about it? Is it going to be something that's going to be is this wrong or whatever? But like Mark was like, you have a feeling, let's go for OK, like and we're obviously I understand not but not everybody has the feeling that they have to like whatever your feeling is, it might not be financially possible to, like, go to New York for three weeks.

I fucking get it. But I am saying, like, people are in this time especially trying to make choices. And I just want to say that if you really, like, listen to your gut.

And not all the other extraneous stuff of like, well, maybe this person will be mad at me or maybe these people will think I'm insane or whatever, you know, or my parents will be upset if you really just sit with yourself and listen to what you need in your gut. I think you will see that things open up in the way that they're supposed to for you, and I assume that you know what I mean.

I think to for me, like especially about this year has been about has truly been listening to my body.

And I think people have heard me and my partner have talked about this before, about how like our our body and our brains aren't the same and that we override what our body needs and wants a lot of times because of what we've been conditioned to do and think in our brains, especially men, especially women. Right. So I think that in this time, no matter what you're doing, if you are baking bread or getting a dog or moving across the country, I think that taking a moment, taking a moment to close your eyes and be like, hey, buddy, what do you need?

What do you want? How do you feel? As opposed to like because everyone's like, you should be doing this, you should be writing, you should be creating something. You should learn how to bake. But like, that's our head, right. What is your body?

A lot of times we are looking for external input on what we should be doing. Like you're saying, you're worried people are going to be mad at you or what your parents are going to think. But a lot of us are so conditioned just not to have a gut instinct for ourselves because we strictly go on external input.

As I'm getting older, I think that I'm finally getting to a place where I really am aware of what my gut is telling me, and sometimes I still go against it. But there's nothing worse than like making a choice based on what you thought a million other people wanted, and then it winds up not being great for you. So, like, no matter what, if my life is going to be going in a positive direction or if I'm in a resetting period or rebuilding period or whatever, let it be because it was my decision and not because I, you know, went somewhere and did something based on how I felt.

Ten people wanted me to live my life.

Absolutely. Well, that's why out here. It's hard it's hard out here, but but it is our best. It is hard.

I mean, it's you know, I remember moving from Brooklyn to Connecticut and I remember the days leading up to it when I was like, Brooklyn's not going to be my home anymore. I really tie my identity to like work and places where I live. And then I came to L.A. and, you know, I still wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what's happening in Connecticut and like, is my crock pot OK?

But, you know, that's like a whole plot of this is just so I don't have this crazy.

I mean, I. I feel like I don't I don't know.

I feel like I don't even know if I don't know if New York is is is it like we're you know.

But there's right now. But is it for now.

But also what I do know is that as Casey so aptly pointed out, was it last week or the week before that I can't. And things that really hard time ending.

Well, I'm serious. It really that really not fucks with me.

But that really made me think like because it was true.

Like I knew I was done with that house. I knew that I didn't want to be there anymore, even though I fucking love it. And it's so beautiful. And I put every and I loved it for years and I have so many amazing memories there.

But I knew in my heart that I wasn't ever going to feel OK there again. Yeah. So what was I holding onto it for. Yeah. Like and why couldn't I. And it was time for me to like let somebody else come in and love it and have their memories and like put their paint colors up and their wallpaper.

Although my wallpaper is so fucking bad ass I didn't create wallpaper that wallpaper off. You can make it a condition of the contract I made.

I made some things. The conditions. Don't you worry. I also like guys. Are you sure you don't want the photo booth? Cause I don't know if we can move it. That's really heavy.

I mean, you guys, you know, we, I mean we, we had a crane. I know what I'm saying. It's really hard to have a mine out and it's really how I get it out of there.

No, they're keeping it. Oh, they are. OK, good. Yeah. No, they are keeping it right. I just. Yeah, it's been crazy. But here's here's what also happened this weekend. I, my entire family and I well, you know, I got covid tested every fucking day because now I'm back at work. But but my kids and Mark also got covid tested and then Michelle and her husband and my goddaughter and they didn't they didn't swap the baby, the baby, the baby.

But but her family got tested. And then we, like, got to hang out and see each other and I got to hold the baby guys and the fucking dream.

It's a dream. I am not allowed, obviously, to post on social media, me holding the baby.

However, I am going to take it to the group chat you got.

You smell a baby head in the year 2020. I know is that is truly I chefs a kiss. It was it was such a chef's kiss Sugiura that I'm I'm going to take it to the group chat, I'm going to send you this little nugget actually are thriving because on that day not only did you get to hold a dog because I'm sure Gina was in. I did hold a dog. Yeah. So you held a dog and smelled a baby's head.

That's a flexible that's a perfect day. It's that's a perfect fucking day.

Leonard Cohen started playing like it was all such vibe. But more than that, I just was so happy. Like, I know a lot of people, I'm sure, especially with the second wave that's happening to like I was really struck when we said goodbye. Michelle put her hand on my face and she's like, I just don't know when I'm going to get to see you again. And I got really emotional at that, too, because I was like this.

I know everyone is like so fucking over this pandemic, you know? And it really does. It's like hard to not see your friends, it's like hard to not. Be able to hug people and like have meals with people. Yeah, and I just I really miss. All my friends and I really I really miss seeing you guys in person, too, you know, I misread heart.

I didn't like not to be like a weird aunt, but I am a hugger specifically, like my friends in babies and dogs. And it's really hard. Like there's like two new puppies in my neighborhood. And like they're like all the dogs in America are sad because we're all ignoring them and they're like all the baby with me.

They're like, why won't you pay me? I'm good at it. Like there's a virus. Everybody's like aunts and uncles.

And it's like we're missing a really key part of like what makes us feel like I live in it was straight up, just jacked from us. And then a bunch of people were like, yeah, we don't care. Like and it's like it's not even always just family. It's like people that you like meet on the street, like just like a moment that you share with a stranger.

Like everything has been changed in a way that like is sad, like those things that really connected us.

We're just like not allowed to do anymore. And that sucks.

So I'm really happy that you got to have that day in that moment, especially at this time, and that I get to see a baby because we can't hold anybody, these strange babies anymore. Also, babies are the best because the newer, newer babies are the kind that, like, you can just pass around. Yeah, like there's no like they don't have like any agency. You can just be like, you're my baby now and I'll be like, OK.

And now all those babies are going to be too old and be able to say no next year. So. Well, I am so concerned about babies mental wellbeing.

Yeah. Because they like much like all of our puppies that we got during covid, these poor puppies think that their entire that this is life.

Yeah. Like they don't know we're just home with you all the time puppy and we're not here and you'll just always hear our voices and you'll always know that we're just like in the next room. And that is not real life. I mean maybe I mean hopefully we'll get there. Now I feel hopeful about the vaccines. I do have to say that I hope. Thank you. Dolly Parton. Shout out Hezbollah fighters.

Yes. The donkeys. Yes. OK, so you guys don't know this. Dolly Parton, the Dolly Parton Foundation was a huge funder to which one of them, Moderna Moderna.

That's what it is. That reminds me of that furniture store. I'm Beverly Mónika.

Anyway, I know it's not the same. I told you I told you this last week, right. That I know a girl who got the tri who was on trial.

Yeah, I knew people that did the trial as well.

She had sent an email asking if I want like if we wanted to do it. And I got I was too nervous.

I guess at the time. I did not want to do it. I'm not one. I know that. So I am not a vaccine tester person. I tried I tried to do it, but I just wasn't picked so. Oh, really? Now just like talk about high school, I didn't get picked for.

But in this show today because we have kind of not just one guest, we are talking with the incredible Ardern Moeen about Pivot's and her new book that recently came out, Little Miss Little Compton. She said she was on you know who she is, if you like. You definitely know who are from that team because she was on my TV. But she's like also been on every every single show, every show. She's so funny. She's a comedian.

Anyway, we love her. But then later in the show, we're going to talk to Jenny Molen, biggest who you may follow on Instagram or Twitter. But I went to high school with because she tweeted something and I was like, wait, that was I thought that.

I've said that. And I just was we're bringing it back. To how people can have the same feelings and thoughts, but anyway, we're really lucky, we have two really wonderful people joining us today, both of whom are authors now, too.

In addition, multi hyphenates. Yes, we're all multi hyphenates in this room, guys. All of us.

We all Kacie, me, she and Tiara Ardern, Jenny, we all Tiphanie all have many jobs.

So before we get to Ardern, though, we just want to say that tickets for our magic show the night before Thanksgiving are selling out fast. So if you want to get tickets besides, you have the website right there.

I do. Wait, hold on. It is, guys, if you want to get tickets to the magic show with her is Kramer and Adrian Lacroix. It's the night before Thanksgiving. Guys, I'm very serious with these covid spikes. Don't I just I read this article today. I don't think that you're going to be safe just because it's like you're like it's just these two people and we trust them. Don't do it. Don't do it. OK, stay home night before Thanksgiving.

Join our Zoome, 8:00 p.m. Eastern, 5:00 p.m. Pacific. It's going to be like an hour, hour and a half show. The tickets are only fifteen dollars and a portion of the proceeds we are donating. So we've we only have a limited number of tickets and there's only a couple hundred tickets left. Go to side door access dotcom artists slash busy Philipps my name. But you have to spell it right for us wi fi. L i p.

S not a lot of tickets left, but there are some. If you wanna come you just go get those tickets right now and I think it'll be fun. I did. I don't know that, you know, I'm back at work or girls five hour before we go to our real real quick, because I want to tell you one more thing that was really fun. I just like got out of the recording studio guys because I was recording.

Yeah, well, that's so fun. I know. And you tell them to turn up your drumbeat. Oh, no.

But there was a lot of controversy at one point because of the clicks in. And Sara Barlas, who is obviously the most professional musician among us, was like this click These clicks are not like they're not making sense. Like, I don't I'm so sorry. I don't understand. She's the nicest person of all time. Yeah, I'm obsessed with her anyway. But I was like I weirdly did understand the clicks. And so I was like, what does this mean?

Like, why do I get them? They seemingly do not work for anyone else in this room. We're all actual musicians and and or have been on Broadway and or record recorded Broadway albums. But for some reason I always knew when the clicks were going in. Oh my God. Wait, I just thought of it.

Oh my God, this is hilarious. You know why? Why? I think the sound engineer was like basically kind of doing it like ADR sound clicks.

Oh, so guy is a shit Hollywood break.

OK, so when you're an actor on television for your entire fucking life like me, sometimes you record things on TV shows or whatever, and then they go back and and I like and you like bumped your microphone with your hand or something on one line. So you have to go into a sound recording booth and they play there like the line is just under a thousand tickets available Friday. And so they'll click it in and they'll be like, beep, beep, beep.

Just under a thousand tickets available Friday and you have to match your mouth. Exactly. And I think that's what he was doing. He was doing the beeps like that. And they they're used to musical beats like beep clicks. Yeah. Which is different. Yeah. Because they were she was like, but what's the Downby. And I'm like, oh I like beep beep, beep.

Then it's like oh yes. It's more that like oh the race is starting. And it wasn't necessarily like in a time signature. Yes. OK, I fully understand that. You see what I'm saying. Yes.

They were all they were doing the musical brain. I'm just like I just go where the where and how did it go. Yes. You have the advantage. Well, I did. But then what would happen is that every time it would, we're all singing together. So every time that would happen, then I would be like, oh, OK, are we not. Oh, I was, I was right. OK, great. Thank you.

And also like I just was so it's so funny to not, you know, meet this is like really testing a thing that I'm not great at, which is that I'm not the best at this skill set. Right. But that's nice though when you are not the best because like not that they have low expectations, but it's like, OK, Broadway star and. Grammy Award winning singer. What are you doing? You could be like I could. No matter what I do, I am fine.

I mean, I need to meet my expectations or I'm going above the expectations like there's no worry for you, which is like always a nice place to be. I think that you're right, actually. And I feel like there is freedom and like leaning into the like I don't know what I'm doing, guys, but guess what I am doing. All right. Let's get to our first guest today, Arden Marine.

We talked to Arden about her book. Let's listen in.

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I'm going to get the black spruce and fir because I feel like that will be festive for the holidays. That's hilarious. You're going to make people smell your armpit. You're like, I know Christmas pet and Christmas is coming anyway.

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New call you call, let's talk about stress and sleep recovery is like if you guys like that I like, it's not one of my best ones.

New come, new calm guys, whether we're in the gym or we're at work. These things shape how we perform, we all need to probably improve stress at this point.

I know that sleep is an issue for a lot of people and I have like a heart I need to work on, like recovery from working out.

But also, you know, what I just realized the other day. So my hips have been feeling so weird. Yeah, it's because I've been walking like three miles every day and I never have been doing that before.

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I had a reporter yesterday from like from the Providence Journal, and it was like literally it was so hateful from the get go. And I just thought, oh, you've had a pretty good run, you old dinosaur.

Like, you've had a pretty good run. You hate it. Had this sort of the young lady vibe, you know. Yeah, it was that young lady Viva flank, and it was I have very little patience for that.

I just I have zero patience for a girl I knew. I want to put you in my pocket. And I wish you had been there just dealing with this fucking dude. I'm sure you got that busy when you were promoting your book, like so a little bit.

But I think that because. I'm so I was so like ready to fight when my book is coming out. Yeah, that yeah, that I didn't get it as much as I have, like just doing like random press tours for movies or TV shows or whatever.

You never know who's going to sucker punch you, you know what I mean. You don't know who you don't know who's going to jump out of the bush. And you think like in my mind, this was just like hometown girl makes good, like, oh, no, no.

This was a hometown girl gets punched in the face by a dinosaur like you can have doing things. Yeah. Gotcha.

Interview over your very nice book.

Yeah. I don't know. I was like, I got to get out here. I got to get off of this. This is what it feel. How did you extricate yourself from the. I defended myself.

I texted my publicist and said, I hate this guy and she was listening and she was like, this guy's a fucking dick. So then she came on and said one more question. And then I immediately was like, I don't want this guy. I'd rather just have no article.

So the problem is everyone's been furloughed because you're trying to go above them to like the editors and stuff to try to pull, but like nobody at the paper.

So I don't know. We'll see.

It's just like a phantom newspaper operating my space. Yeah, it's like on my face. Yeah. Yeah.

Did it feel like he like I remember one time this was a million years ago, but I remember it very well.

There was a review of the this like UPM sitcom that I was the star of. I the and I love.

I remember that, I watched it for that happened.

I remember auditioning for that, that the show had been developed for Denise Richards. Love it. And then she ended up not doing the pilot and Shannon Daughtry.

Yeah, right. Sure. I love it.

OK, she got it. And then they brought her out for the up front. I mean, this is so long ago and then they they recast her day and I turned it, I turned down going because I felt like it was such bad vibes.

Like sure. To bring a notable actor out to like parade in front of the advertisers at the up fronts. Guys, Hollywood break.

That's like the up fronts are when all the networks bring out their new shows for the advertisers, literally the advertisers, they can book ad space on their networks for their new upcoming fall shows.

Yeah, and I felt like it was so like I've always been like a like I'm you know, I'm not afraid to sell a bar soap, but like I also but I also feel like, you know, there are rules.

I'm like, you need to be. I felt like bringing out like a very notable actor for the Bronze and then firing her afterwards, like they already knew they were going to replace her is unnecessarily cruel. I felt like it was rude. So I kept turning down, going and going. And finally I was like, whatever. Fine. It was like the fourth time I was like, OK, fine. I went in and then ended up getting the part and the show.

I had never done a sitcom before and the show came out and there was this review where it was so mean and nasty to me that I was like, did I fuck this guy's wife?

Right. Yes. See it? I like, what did I do to this man? I did something so horrendous to this. I'm so sorry to tell you. You did feel like that guy.

Why did you fuck that guy? I know it was so personal.

Yeah, sure. When you get up and it's like I have not really had the experience with a female journalist, but like, when you have the experience, like you just had, this was a guy.

I had a guy, of course, it's always man.

Yeah. Like, I don't know what it is.

You're too big for your britches. You think you're so you're hot shit.

I don't know if they want to put you down like Peg also. Why just say you don't just don't do it. Don't interview the person. You know what I mean? It's like if someone was like, do you want to interview this man? You hey, I'd be like, no, thank you. All right.

OK, so our Marine. Our Marine, your book. Little Miss Little Compton. Yeah.

That's so funny, huh? I love that that city is in the middle.

I'm from a town called Little Compton, Rhode Island. I'm not even kidding you.

They didn't they'd never heard of the real Compton. Even when the album came out. It was not until the movie swept the nation. And every town in America was getting like straight out of Nashville. T shirts are like straight out of Austin. Little Compton could not believe there was a larger gun that had gigantic cultural significance. Like little like little Compton's mind was blown because it's like in a time cap. It's like that from like the sixteen hundreds. I mean, it's it's like.

Lobsterman, and there's no stoplights, there's a general store, I mean, they couldn't believe there was another Compton. I think it's also funny. It's like if you meet someone and their names like William Junior and you're like, oh, is your dad a senior? And they're like, nope, no. You know, I just assumed there was no bigger Compton. They were just little Compton. I like that was where it started.

I like you know, you start with the lil. I don't want to get cocky. I'm the little Compton, Rhode Island, so east coast. So so East Coast.

We have a lot in common though, too. Ah, my name is the real estate agent there was.

So your mom is a real estate agent. There was a lot I was reading it and even your 90s like your experience there was so much I related to with what you went through with people talking to you about your body and kind of becoming in as like getting cast is like a specific I'm not trying to be like at the time, Katie Holmes or whatever, or Calista Flockhart, who is like, I'm not I'm trying to do I got hired because I didn't do that and then, like, getting punished that then once they hire you that you're not that I really related.

Well, we've come of age sort of in the entertainment industry at very similar times. So, yes, it's very relatable. I can about we both have very similar shared experiences. You did if you had a little bit of a different journey, though, because you went to Chicago and started doing improv. Which Entero Chicago attorney.

Hi, everybody. I felt like Chicago was the first place I found my people and nobody was no one had any money. And I was like and it kind of just a friendship. It was where I was the first time I ever moved away from home and paid my own bill. So, yeah, that's where I grew up.

My apartment was three hundred dollars. Oh, hello. Every twenty in a basement with three strangers.

That's how you know, I like race into my door every day I'm free. I wasn't going to get attached to act, but I was like it was it was the beginning of everything for me.

Yeah. Chicago babies. I thought I was an actual Chicago baby. Yeah.

I, you know, I maybe I loved hearing also about your I really related by my parents would say to me, we know your brother smarter than you, but you're more well-rounded or he's he's smarter than us.

He like you know, I really relate like all that stuff you take in and then you're like, am I a dummy? Like, why are they yelling?

Why don't you just thinking that I kind of do it to my kids now, how could you not. Yeah, I don't know. You just do like I'm only just like crickets, a magical unicorn and like. So what.

So Birdie's not a fucking magical unicorn like real. Nobody's magical too in her own way. She's just not like living in on a different planet like. Well yeah.

How how did you when you. I loved how honest you I mean I really admired your like how did you. I'm nervous with how did your sister feel like how did it go down with your family when you do not give it to your family.

Before it came out I asked my brother if he wanted to read it and he and he thought about it and he said no.

Oh, interesting. OK, yeah. Yeah. So I mean, maybe he is the smart one. The sad thing is he actually is like the smartest. He actually he is smarter than me. Like I'm smart but he's weirdly he's a weirdo, smart guy. I kind of got his permission for the story, like when he had diarrhea, trying to get into an argument. And I, I asked him if I could tell us about playing crotch chicken.

And then I just said, look, like there's some stuff you might not like about our dad. And he was like, look, I know our dad was terrible.

So it's like, that's not news to me. So there you go.

It's interesting that you say that because, like, I had a very different experience with my family and my sister and I give them the book before it was like turned in.

Final edit. Yeah, yeah. And but I two things.

Like I, I sent my sister like the pertinent chapters about our family and stuff. I had to tell her about my abortion.

She, you know, that was like a family secret or whatever, and she was upset like that.

She had been left out of that right like time, you know, and felt really terrible, like she felt bad and it was hard.

And and then I had to like and then I talked to my parents and like told I like walked them through all of this stuff.

But my family was not thrilled. They were really not thrilled. How did you deal with that? Well, just you just did partially that.

I just did partially. My I made adjustments. Yeah.

That were that were things that they asked for, which is I was fine to do. Yeah. And then I wasn't actually finding. In this moment, yeah, I was like, I kind of didn't want to willing you were willing to do it because my relationship is more important than my then yeah.

Whatever. And then and then, you know, what really changed was that my mom and dad, this is weird for you because you don't get to do like a traditional book tour, dude.

I mean, that's why I'm so grateful to be here. It's like I don't get to do you know, it's like every part of this book has been not how I thought this would be. And so talking about pivoting, I mean, I didn't have it this year. I mean, there's so many pivots. But one of them was like, oh, OK, there's a pandemic.

Like, OK, well, maybe maybe by September, I don't know. And then it's, you know, and I think morning I gave myself like thirty six hours to mourn, like I really wanted to go. I, I like doing stand up. I like it would be so fun to be able to go do readings and do stand up. I love going to meet people. I would have been proud to go share this with people and just adjusting like OK, and this isn't personal.

This is happening to everybody. So many people have like canceled weddings or lost people during this or like whatever.

So first is everything. Yeah.

So I was really like, OK, like this just and then that's when I was like, well how can I make this like a party? And I was like, I'm going to send people presents in like the most.

I'm going to have fun bundles of people that when I get in a box from you with a real puzzle bitch. So I was really happy.

It's a one day one, but it's hard because of the blues. But for the listeners, I so I wanted the cover of my I wanted to put my sixth grade photo where I look like Barb from stranger things on the cover and the publisher wouldn't let me.

And then I was like, OK, because they wanted people to like be able to recognize me. So then I recreated it, the exact same photo I had braces made and I had my cat. And then they would they thought I looked too fucking crazy. So then so then I was like, well, here I have like commissioned Robin Van Swang to do these crazy sick recreations. So I was like, I got to do something with it.

So I made meet the author's puzzles with me and my cat.

I'm really excited to be just like a black girl walking around L.A. with the tote that says Little Miss Little Compton.

Yes. I'd be like, Oh yeah, this really tracks for you. I'll tell you something nice. A nice white lady gave me this Martin Van Immerge. Marie. Yes, yes, yes. I love that. Tell me you did the pageant circuit. I love art.

And because we're talking about Pivot's, tell me what the pivot what the original pivot was that led you to selling the book and writing the book.

I mean, there's been so many I would say I really and I love the topic of Pivot. And there's actually some topics of pivot's like in the book. Yeah. And it was interesting, I I'm not a sports person, but I watched the the Chicago Bulls that the last dance documentary was so good.

1997. Scottie Pippen is the hottest man dude.

I think I got it. Oh. And I also love how like I also love how like Michael Jordan he takes a no and then he he's like, thank you for the gift of like fronting me. Now I have this superpower. I need to win everything. So, I mean, I'm not crazy like that, but I feel like along the way, growing up, you know, I couldn't get cast in school plays. So I had, like, literally this woman fucking hated me.

So I had to if I had just gotten cast, I would have happily just gone my way through because she wouldn't cast me. I started writing and directing and putting on my own plays and then.

Yeah, and then like, I won the fucking trusties prize, which like, enraged her like every step of the way, you know, and then, like, I didn't go to a fancy I didn't go to like Northwestern or Juilliard or Yale. And so like in order to get I couldn't get an agent. So I was able to like I was like, OK, I know I can write for myself. I'll start doing stand up like that.

Like, that was a way for me to get on stage to get an agent, like using sort of the blocks. And then, you know, as time went on, I being on sick, I kept doing pilots that did not get picked up. Yeah. And and when we were busy, like back in the day, you like it if you did sketch comedy, you were not an actress. And I remember for a while like SNL and Mad TV and like obviously wanted to be on SNL.

I tested against Amy Poehler. Amy got it.

Mad TV. I know, right, that people have to watch Mad TV was like I was like it was like all of the pain of SNL with none of the Vanity Fair covers, like the movies like is none of the movie deals the respect.

But so I remember I couldn't I was doing all these sitcom pilots, they weren't getting picked up and then I was like, OK, like I remember I ran into Katie Segal, who I knew from Married with Children. And she was like, Ardern, you just need to get on TV. It's easier to stay on TV than to get on to you just need something that's on. So I went hard and I went for mad TV and that was like a pivot.

And I felt like she was right. Like once I was doing that, it made me like officially a comedian versus just like a comedic actress. And then even farther down, like it's easy to be the new girl when when nobody knows you and like when you're brand new, you book all these things. But then when people are like, oh, we know her, you know, I felt like another pivot was once I was known, but not quite getting cast as much.

Bobby Lee did an intervention for me. I was doing Chelsea lately and he came over and he was like, Ardern, you're the only one who's not making you know, we would make three hundred dollars because it was on e you guys know, like three hundred dollars.

I don't want to brag guys. The things are, you know, I got. You're getting with that money, OK? I got the puzzle money, so but Bobby did an intervention and he was like everybody on Chelsea's panel. I was doing it every other week. And you did like how many episodes you did? One hundred. Over a hundred. Over a hundred. Yeah. But like, I was the only non standup. So everybody else Bobby was like Ardern, we're all making a shit ton of money every weekend.

You're the dummy that's making three hundred dollars. You have the same credits as me. So he brought me to his house. He basically taught me I had stopped doing stand up and only did an improv and he was like, OK. And he gave me like the basics. He's like, OK, first of all, you thank the host then. Are you a physical stand up or are you a Mike and Stanstead? Up he goes. I think you're physical.

I was like, OK, so they go. So you take the stand and you put it behind you so the audience can see you and you move around and when you're done, you put the mike stand back like he literally taught me, like being a real friend.

This is a real that's awesome. And because of the time stand ups learn this, because they're crazy people, you go to every standup bar and club every night, all night, and they just go and try to get up and they watch everybody else's sets. You didn't have to do that. Your friend Bobby was like, let's.

Yeah, I got your part. Well, this is what you do. I started as a stand up and then I quit because I was afraid of it. I was a twenty one year old female.

There was not a lot. You made the right choice 100 percent. I just I really wanted my legal experience.

Everybody who goes to Chicago truly makes this decision. Are you going to be a stand up? Are you going to be an improviser? A lot of people, they make a decision I chose to do in part because my improv class started at seven. Ended at ten. Yeah. In the in the in the stand up set, you had to go and start at eleven in weight. And I was like, I got to go to bed. So that was literally why I was like I can't do that.

That's more social too. You know, if I was social like and you're not well. So I will say when I switched I switched teams. So then I, when I switched from improv to standup, I thought I was doing it like, OK, I'm willing to earn money, I'm willing to go earn. But it was actually I was like thirty five, pretty fucking late to start doing standup. Yeah. And it actually forced me to be number one on the call sheet, see who I was without somebody next to me.

I went out with a set idea of what my act would be, but then the audience and I'm sure you found this, doing your stories and then doing your show and now doing your podcast. Everything that I thought was that I was ashamed of or I didn't want people to know about me was actually what people related to and is actually what people wanted to hear.

And and it actually gave me the gift of I feel like the velveteen rabbit of like I thought it was for money, but it was actually me seeing, like, maybe all this stuff. I don't want people to see there's nothing wrong with me and it's relatable.

That's really interesting, like getting to know yourself through your audience and being like, oh, and bringing more humanity and bringing more and then and then doing my podcast like I feel like then led to the book. Like there's something about. Getting used to never tell personal stories on stage and then like doing the podcast, just getting more and more, you know, in my I've pitched this book many times over the years and like when the few times I pitched in the beginning, it was more, you know, back in the day when, like a female comedian has a book, it's sort of fun, your worst of moments, like your fun drunken detta that maybe I slept with this guy or whatever.

And I feel like doing the stand up and then doing my podcast and then everything that's happened. And I think everything that's happened in the world, I feel like the world expects a little more like, OK, but like what else is going on, like what you like so that they can handle all of it.

They can handle that like 80 percent of it is fucking hilarious and a blast, but like 20 percent of it, there's like pain and that the people I think have the capacity to contain or they want to hold all of it and not just see the. Yeah.

Funny parts you're showing that I truly believe that, like, people pay money for stand up for improper sketch for theater where they're paying to watch somebody be brave. So like they're already there to watch people do something that they're too scared to do. You go out and you, like, really are brave with what you say. They're like, yeah, take my fucking money, dude.

And that's what I feel like I have. I really enjoying your podcast. Like, I really think I love hearing three women. I love that. Like, it's honest. I love that you meet each other wherever you are and it's still fun.

Like I feel like it's all of it. I feel like it's really I, I personally I do feel Stien and related like hearing about it. I loved hearing Rosie O'Donnell, like I love getting to know her. I mean but I do. I appreciate that. Like I think do you know just showing up.

Yeah I see that we talk about that a lot. It's really important to feel seen and like other people you've seen and I think your book really does that to you because it's so funny, but it has so many touching moments and also, yeah, just a really like balancing the bitter and the sweet, because that's what life is.

Right. Let's not I mean, I very much wanted to feel like I guess one of the things I'm proud of in life is and I took I do think everybody has dealt a certain hand and that for most people, if you take the time to get to know them, it might look all put together.

But like most people have some complicated cards that they're dealt and that, you know, a lot of my childhood was really fun, but like I had. But there, you know, my parents married on a dare.

They were nice while you came out swinging open the book. And I was like this where we start. Yeah, OK. Yeah, well, set the precedent.

And again, it's really like and you don't you know, you just accept your family or your childhood where you grew up.

You're like, this is life, like this is normal. And then and so, you know, so it was this one of the effects of growing up with parents who never dated and married on a dare. And then they moved from Manhattan to a town where the general store and like a criminal, that is a crow like that.

And then like with this, like the most fun, magical mom and like a pretty fucking gnarly dad. And like this, thankfully, he was like his best attribute was that he was disinterested. So, yeah, he wasn't around much, but like that it was I. But when I got launched out into the world, I feel like, oh, there's certain things like I actually don't know how to do. And and I and growing up with a pretty nasty dad.

Like who? Like you, I sort of believed a lot of what he told me. Like, I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. And I have put in the hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of like working on myself.

And like, I wanted to provide hope for anybody out there that, you know, it's not that you're trying to pretend this stuff didn't happen, but that maybe your experience can help somebody else and that, yeah, maybe that somebody else's problem and like somebody putting, like, to guard your light. Listen to what makes your tail wag that you can have some magic, you can have some joy, even if, like, maybe there was somebody that's not supportive, that you can still protect your son.

I really love your life. I really love her like so much because I feel like so many people forget that there's light in them. When you have a brightness in you, it does attract darkness. Yes. Because they're trying to be like, I've been dark for so long, I would really love for you to, like, flip the switch on and give me some of your light. And it could be so draining. I mean, like even reading your book, I feel like even the one of the first stories is about like how you found out your parents married on a dare.

I can't remember if it's in the book or not. The but the night after my mom, like, agreed to the dare, she had a date with another guy that apparently she went on and she liked to let go.

She got it. She goes. She goes. I made out with him so hard because I knew this might be the last guy I make out with. And then apparently he called again late. Or in the week, and her roommate answered and she was like, oh, Janet's engaged and like the guy was like, what? You know, but I feel like as far as protecting your life goes, I mean, I don't mean to keep I'm just you know, I know you guys are early on in your podcast, and that's why I as a person, I want to shine back at you.

I feel like that's what you're doing, like hearing about how you started your show, hearing about how you were like, no, we want women in charge. We need we need a diverse fucking entire crew. I don't want everybody that looks like me. We need different voices like and that you put your money where your mouth is. To me, that's protecting your life. Like to me, you know, I'm sure busy that I'm sure there is to other people that they wanted her to like the fact that it's was like that's protecting, like, know what's going to be my best version of my show.

You know, everybody needs a team. Go where the love is, what makes your tail wag.

And if somebody is a dick, this kind of like by different little different than what you did when you were a kid. You know, like I think that we all three of us feel like, listen, if you're not going to let us do this, the way that we know is right for us and frankly, like.

Right.

Yeah, well, just not going to do it would rather go do it ourselves, you know, just the same as like little art and Marine writing her own plays because some bitch won't put her in the school play.

Yeah. I mean, and end and not letting somebody else. I agree with you. When, when, when it does attract darkness. I remember I used to get in trouble. I went to college with my best friend Cheryl and like which I hated. But we would still I mean, you still you make the best. And we laughed. We had a great time. It was just the wrong school for me. But like you would laugh and stay up all night.

And I remember we got brought to like, what do they like the R.A. on your floor?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they lynch the unit and we got in trouble because we were exhibiting too much outward happiness.

Like people were like I was like, why can't we have nice things I never did.

Thievery is it is it is this the joy goblins. They come and they steal your joy. Yes.

Well, I like I wrote about it in my book too. Like there are sparkly people and there are people that like you, sparkly people in there, like how do I crush.

Yes. Yeah. Oh, I put it out. I don't like it. I don't get it. I want it dead. Yes. And it's like you could go get some light though. Yeah.

That's what I remember when I first when I got my first sitcom, it was almost too fast. I was twenty two and I literally grown up, no connectedness, tiny town.

And I think for some people, not the people in the town, but some people I knew in my life, it was almost too much earning too much like and I started for a moment to feel like I could either have like love and joy in my life or I could have success. And like and I, I thankfully now I know that is could not be farther from the truth, but like that one, like water rises, like every boat in the harbor rises up.

Yeah. But that if somebody is trying like just that there's a natural I don't know that like I try to have a wide berth when I see that energy, it's like, oh, this isn't even about me like this. Whatever this tornado is like, I can't even engage with it because it's it's too dangerous of a price on my own soul to try to even like like this journey has clearly been dark for many decades. And I can't even try and get into the boxing ring with this.

Yeah.

Yeah. Did you sort of like instinctually because you really you really have just like leaned into the pivot's.

It's not just a thing that's in your DNA.

You feel like and from and from basically your childhood and what you were sort of the cards you were dealt that was how you figured out how to deal was to like, OK, well, this seems like it's not work because so many people will fight, like they'll fight till the day before they will make a pivot, you know. Yeah. What is I think about.

Yeah, I think it's a combo of yes, very much. It's like the good and the bad side of how I grew up.

So like and I would say is both probably from my mom, my friend Lisa, who read this, she was like one of my best friends and she read early.

She goes out and this isn't your memoir. This is your mom.

You're like this. I like magic. I have is mostly from my mom, but also some of my I would say limitations. Like, I don't know how to fight. Like, I actively can't fight, like so I conflict. Everything has to be kept nice, like which is not a is not great to not be good at. I've gotten better at conflict but I literally both my brother and I just have, we just don't know how it was because everything had to be nice, you know.

But I will say but she really believed in us and was and she really believed that our imaginations and that that what was unique about us was slightly different, that it wasn't going to be that it was a little one step left of center like that. That was our. Special sauce, and that it may not be everybody's cup of tea and look, I'm sure along the way I fucking wish every front door opened for me. I wish Lorne Michaels was like, it's you and I wish the theater department was like, you get to be Audrey and Little Shop.

And I wish, you know. But I have to say, I feel like my career, my life has been more interesting because I like I mean, I'm just realizing this now as we're chatting. I feel like each of these times where it wasn't just easy for me to harness my own voice in a way that I wouldn't have if it was just doors opening.

Right. Because if every if every door opened for you and you had the opportunity to step through every door, a lot of those rooms wouldn't care about you, Ardern, you know what I mean? Like, but where as you experience limited doors opening, those are doors that were really meant to be open for you. That was for you. Yeah.

So that's what it's for you is for you and what is for someone else is for someone else. And as soon as you're able to sometimes being patient, but as soon as you're really, truly able to be like, I know that what is for me is coming, I think that you feel better. Yeah. Yeah. Not getting things, but also you're more prepared for when it does come. I mean, like nobody was right. And for me, sometimes, especially women.

Yes. You walk into a room in Chicago and there's like 17 white boys do a write in for you.

I mean, I was my age. You got to do it. I love Chicago, but that was the most male I've never seen, like white or white boys either. I was like, there's a lot of big dudes. They hate us white boys. I'm like, what is happening here?

Yeah, it's a it's it's an interesting it's an interesting thing to just like circling back to the beginning of thinking about, like what we were talking about with TV shows in the nineties and what we were coming up through. And that environment, it was like Calista Flockhart was Ally McBeal.

It was sort of that sort of thing, pretty, very white, very sort of like even if you're the friend, you need to be the certain kind of way. Yeah. And I and I remember I was getting cast, but I found myself like at first I got cast a lot with my little Red Bob haircut, my cardigan sweaters and my red lipstick and like and then I felt like I start my light started to dim because I started to try to almost out of fear, be like, what do they want?

Rather than here's what I bring. It was like, OK, let me just try to look like everyone else. Maybe if I could lose ten more pounds, maybe if I my voice wasn't so high, maybe I could lower my voice like and and I got really sad. I felt really depressed. I started them in your light. My light was dimming. And I think I think it was really almost like the fight for my life of like OK, all right.

So I've proved I don't have to like I've proved I can support myself. I've never taken money from anyone.

I've proved and by the way, busy by the way, by the way, there's a fucking terrible boyfriend. I paid for trips or when I paid for rent for everyone, I bought my dad. I bought my dad palletize classes. I sent my mom to therapy. I said I could have fucking spent my money on other people trying to help them. Yes. But I actually felt like I almost felt like I had like a breakdown of like I lost my light and I was real.

I started struggling with, like, food stuff. I started I felt like something was wrong with me. And it wasn't until I started sort of like putting Humpty Dumpty back together again and really looking at like, wait a minute, wait a minute, here's some childhood stuff. Here's some Hollywood stuff. Like, why did I want to do this in the first place? I don't want to just prove that I can be like, what? What is unique to why am I here?

What am I what can I give to the world? That is my POV. And and I, I have to say, like just leaning into what makes your tail wag, what's your own little weird corner like I'm sure busy when you started doing your Instagram stories and like you didn't do it to get followers you didn't like. You can't. Yeah. There was anything missing. Yeah. Yeah. You're ready for something. Yeah. It's the purity of like this is what I want to do.

And then sometimes people respond to the honesty of that. Yeah.

I was like missing my voice. I was literally missing my voice.

And yeah, it's so interesting because Michelle Williams is my best friend.

Oh my God. Oh. I remember like her coming to like at some point, like I had been doing Instagram had started doing the Instagram stories or whatever, and it was like becoming kind of a thing. And I was so confused by it anyway, you know, like what is this?

But OK, I like, cool. But I was really enjoying it and I was having so much fun and I loved it so much. And she came and she was like, busy.

It's you, it's you. You're like the girl I met the first day that you came to Wilmington.

Yeah. You were so like, wow, you know, and you just over, you know, 12 years of this business, like beating you the heck down. Yeah.

Like it just went out and having kids and being as all of it. It's all of it. Yeah. But then, you know, here we are.

All right. And here we are. Well, I really think it is an interesting it is interesting where when you do get to the simplicity and I that's one of the things I'm grateful for, of the gifts of some pain, like the gifts of hard experiences, including now I feel like including now for the world, the gifts of sort of being raw, I feel like. And when you sort of have less skin on you, I actually feel like as women I can just speak for myself.

I was always brought up to, like, not hurt other people's feelings. And like one of the gifts of having no skin and being raw is like I feel like you instinctively know who feels good, who doesn't feel good, what feels good, what what what might be fun for you might not be for some, but like what you want to and like when you just don't have enough skin to people please. There's actually a there's like a gift, there's a little window of opportunity of opening up that thing, especially as women.

That thing gets closed off. Fuck yeah. Sometimes it happens when people are very young women. Sometimes it happens as you're a little bit older. Yeah. Like, you know, and in very rare cases it never happens.

But figuring out, like, how to be able to access that. You know, gut feeling and follow that intuition is so important. So anyway, I just love it.

I love your book. I love you. I love you, too. I loved what you said about when you have no skin because people always tell you in this business, like you're going to have to get a thicker skin. And I always feel like I haven't been historically particularly thick skinned. Yeah, like but I can tell the difference between when someone's being honest with me about something that I need to do or something that I could be better at.

And it's to help me because when someone's being harsh with me to hurt me and I think, like having a thinner skin allows me to be sensitive, which is kind of like I guess that's like my calling card is to be sensitive to superpower, that it's a superpower. And that's the thing that, you know, I have like lots of theories about all this shit.

But that's the thing. That's the trick that men have, like, pulled on women. Yes. In our quest for equality, which is that you have to be more like me.

Yes. Yeah. As opposed to we can all figure out a way to exist with our strengths and our weaknesses together in workspaces, in life spaces. In public spaces. Yeah.

And your your you know, your strength. I may not understand as a strength, but let me like give me a second. Let me just you know, and I think that's the fucking drink man.

I love you guys. Also talking about I'm one of your podcasts. Like when people say I'm just being honest, it's like, no, you're just being a dick like that. And it's the equivalent of when somebody says, I hate it's the equivalent of thin skinned to when somebody goes, I don't want you to get your hopes up.

It's like, why not? Like, I don't want to be so fucking jaded that I can't get my hopes up about like like it's not going to spare me that. My disappointment, if something I did doesn't get picked up or whatever, like I'm going to be disappointed right or left, that I want to be so fucking thick skinned that I have no hope. I'm, like, numb to having any hopes for it.

As if you could control your hopes. Yeah, right. I know. You know, like a thing, if you're not getting your hopes up, you're lying about not having your hopes up. Yep. Yeah. And that's but that's you're suppressing the thing which is like what ends up happening so frequently to so many of us.

That's those are the those are the light stealers.

I mean, it was so interesting growing up in a house with one the main parent doing 80 percent of the work, nine No.

Ninety nine point nine percent of the work, who was like full circle of like guarding. You know, we couldn't be assholes, but it was like like protect yourself. And then, like with that point, one dude of being like, oh, you know, must be nice. Oh, look, you know, it was so in New England. State motto. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? That's exactly it.

Oh, you think you're better than me. You think. You think you're better than me. I must meet you down by the fucking water slide like a fucking car.

Is that. Yeah, it was an interesting it really. And when I will say listening to you say that Busi that. That it is like a choice to like graciously and elegantly not shove back, but just be like, no, I'm not going to do that. Like, I'm not going to I'm just enough.

Like, I'm 10 ounces of liquid and maybe your six ounce cup and maybe it's not the right fit.

I love that. I love that. Oh, my God. I love that, too. Maybe what that needs to be a shirt, 10 ounces of liquid on a. Yeah, basically. Bye bye bye. Go fuck yourself. I know.

I loved how you wrote about your mom so much. It just it must be nice. It must have been nice in a nice way, in a sincere way to just have a parent that liked you.

But you she was barely in my proposal, you know, and it was so just the timing of when I sold this and like and then and how it became her book and like, it really made me I had so many people telling me stories about her that and I and again, I just sort of took for granted, like, oh, that's just a mom. But I was like, oh, no. This was like I really got I feel like the universe gave me this sparkly lady and and I know a lot of friends that didn't even have that from either parent or from, you know.

And so as nasty as my dad was, I did have one person that was like, really great. And and I know some people don't have any of that and don't like ways to find it in your world or if you literally can just be it for yourself.

Yeah. And that like I I'm appreciative of I'm very grateful that I had her as a mom.

Yeah. She must have been so proud of you.

She really was. She was a blast. She was so great. She was really she was really I mean I feel like she's like so excited somewhere about this book like this.

I think she literally. Yeah. Ah yeah. She's the star. I lost my mom a year ago and and it was sudden and that was, you know, and it's I guess I also just I mean, I feel like the world right now is collectively grieving and I also still have a really beautiful year and that. I really also wanted people to know that you can really have your worst fear happen and still actually be OK and still be yourself and still have joy even like that.

You can hold both of it and you can have joy and laughter and you can be sad at the same time like that. There is ways, I don't know, like I would never have wished this for myself, but that that, like, your heart gets a little extra bigger, like you get some powers from it. There are some good things that come from from when you get knocked off your balance beam. Yeah. Oh, dude, it's a journey.

You know, I really you can find a place called the Cry. I cry all the time. Are you kidding me? I cried daily. I cried like I had to go to your to your tears. I mean a lot to me.

I, you know, I this we wouldn't probably know what Joy tasted like if we didn't know what incredible sadness tasted like as well.

And that like, you know, it's so rare that I think all like all of us are strong, brave, tough ladies. And to know that, like, you're also allowed to have like a tender center, that it's like it's a good thing that like I think it's a beautiful thing that I used to not be able to cry so much.

And I felt like, yeah, me neither. I cry all the time. I, I couldn't I can't stop crying. I can't stop. I can't cry now. I know. I found out I sold the book on the way to my mom's funeral. I got this email. And so that's sort of how the book ends like and spoiler alert.

But like you know, but like reading the having to do the fucking audio book, man. No, dude, I spent hours like speeding through like the part did find her coat on and she was a kid you saw Dad. I'm like, can you slow down? Like you can either get me to read it so that I was like so I'd gotten through like this just so. Then she told me to speed through, like I felt like it was just like, you know, I think it's OK.

You know, I there are so many I know they sound like cheesy, but like I heard people being like you got to feel it to heal it. By the way, some friends that you think are going to be great can be fucking dickheads during that. And it's like and again letting them off the hook. But like, OK, they're they've been my my I had a very wise friend say to me, like, OK, if your life is like a theater and you get to do the seating chart, some days some people are like front row orchestra and you put other people up in the balcony, maybe somebody out in the lobby like and like, you got to do the seating chart every day.

So some people that you think are going to be front row orchestra and life shit hits the fan you like and they act like fucking crazy people. You can just, you know, you have to kick them out of the theater all together. But maybe they go to the restroom downstairs like there's just trust your gut on, like, who you want to be with what you want to do.

And you can make it through things. And I think that's true truly for life right now in twenty twenty, like twenty twenty, you know, everybody's doing the best they can. So I always just try to do no harm to myself or others.

And if I feel like I want to strike out at somebody and be like, you know what your fucking problem is like, I avoid them for a lot. Maybe maybe that's not who I should be hanging out with. Yeah, no, I think that's like really great advice.

I also, when I wrote my book, did hear this and I don't know, somebody said, you know, that writing your memoir is like doing ten years of intensive therapy.

I actually it was when I finished when it was really, really done, I burst into tears because my conversation with her was over. I was like I felt like we were having like a daily date.

And then it was like when I was done, I was like, oh, no, there has to be this.

I know. You know, I well, you really should just keep going.

I mean, your family would make an amazing show.

I, I, I was thinking there's never been like a female wonder years or like a female like it's always like the Goldburg, it's always on the male point of view.

Like I think that would be like and if you did it kind of edgy, it would be interesting how they'll be amazing.

Yeah, for sure. Oh, Ana, thank you so much. Arden Marine.

Yes, ma'am. Let's make your party mislabel you. Likewise. Yeah. I'm so I'm so happy that you wrote a book, put it out there into the world. You guys get her book, get my book. Come.

I don't know when it's out. Now it's out now. Out now. Out now. Go get it weird. It's so exciting.

I'm so excited. I can't even handle it.

All right, I'll go get it. Like go online, go online. And there's a way you can order from independent books. Yes. Stores online. Yeah. Bookshop Dog connects you with independent booksellers in your neighborhood.

OK, bye bye. Bye.

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Oh, Santero. Shinjiro, have you kicked your problems to the curb. Yeah. I mean, I'm getting close, I'm pretty close, yeah.

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Guys, I just love our Marine, and someday, actually today is the day I just said her name, right, our Marine did it. If you haven't gotten Arden's book yet, Little Miss Little Compton, I highly recommend it along the same lines. I mean, you know, if you enjoyed my book, I think you'll enjoy Arden's book. If you enjoyed my book, I know you probably already had read my friend that's joining us now. Guiles, this is a very special day, as Jenny Mullen begs, are you are you Jenny Biggs or are you Jenny Mullen?

What are you to my Dauman?

I'm Jenny Biggs. To you, I will always be Jenny Molen, your Jenny Mullen, Demi Armel Art Mullen's daughter. And so Jenny is a first book came out in 2014. Fourteen. Wow.

I was just doing that off the top of my head. I didn't look anything up. That's the way we roll here. But I like you just the way I am is your first book. And here's for those of you at home who may not know this and maybe you didn't hear it doesn't even know this, although I think she does and Casey definitely does, because we've talked about it. Jenny and I went. To elementary, middle and high school together, starting in fifth grade, sixth grade, I came sixth grade, sixth grade, Jenny moved to Arizona.

Showed up at Coaches' Elementary School and then on to Coco Bar and then Chaparral, and we were like we had a very we were in the same grade.

We both wanted to be actors. We both had big personalities, I would say is a genius, just chuckling.

She's like she's like, I love hearing her and her like telling of it because, you know, it's so funny. Usually you don't get to hear the other person's sort of retelling of your childhood experience because how many people you actually in touch with still from grade school? Right. I think it's funny. I like it.

But also but it's not just that because it's not people. It's like we weren't close friends in. But we had a significance to one another in our we were closer to each other than like. I mean, it's weird because we weren't even in the same friends circle, but right. Somehow weirdly bonded and connected. In a way that I can't really it's hard to explain to people unless I take you through the entire trajectory, and since we only have 15 minutes, I can only tell you that we are just like cosmically connected.

We are cosmically connected. And which brings me to this. So, guys, if you're a frequent listener of the podcast and at this point, if you're not, where why are you jumping in now?

That seems to go straight over. Seems difficult for you. You'll remember that a few weeks ago, Casey told a story that then she had to apologize the next week for because the person that was about this is I'm not apologizing to you about anything. I didn't tell a story about you without your permission because the person was like, you didn't have permission to tell that story. And then another friend of Casey's texted her and was like, that's an urban legend that didn't happen to you.

And then Casey looked it up and she was like, it is an urban legend. But also I think it happened.

And we had this whole discussion about like you're like our people have shared experiences and the same things that maybe happened to them growing up. So anyway, guys, the reason why Jenny is here, not because I mean, she could also just come back in any time out, whatever, any time she wants. You could fill in for me to Jenny.

If I'm not available, you could just be my proxy is because Jenny posted on Instagram something about her, about high school.

It was like a joke, kind of. But I was like, wait a minute, that's my story. And we never talked about it. And so then we started texting and I was like, what the fuck is happening? OK, so here's here's what Jenny here's what Jenny posted. She tweeted, obviously, re the election, Michigan, that's currently happening as a joke. Jenny tweeted, I used to tell people that I lost my bid for sophomore class president to Ben Graff, but I've changed my mind.

I won. The election was clearly rigged. And then you see you see it, Ben Graff, a Z who's like he went into politics. Right?

Well, see the water banality. He's like, is he like in like what does he do now? Is he's in he's some big job in politics. It's like I think he's like in charge of like water, water. So I don't everything.

I was going to help Ben Graff secure that position as well. I did campaign for him. I think I had to post for him to you. Did your girlfriend graph? Yes. I wanted my graph to be like a senator or something like did you feel like that's what he was going to turn into? That's what he made us feel, right.

Which is why we both feel like the election was rigged and that we rightfully won when we ran against him.

We're jaded, you guys.

When I read that, I was like, I know she's trying to make a joke and the and a connection to what's happening currently and in current events. But also I really think that Jenny thinks that she actually won sophomore year and that it was like kind of rigged, you know, when you told that story on the podcast that I really won.

Yes. Yes. People that listen closely to the podcast, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Busi basically said what Jenny tweeted on the podcast, OK, because here's what I'm saying.

Like, but June, when when you were when you lost sophomore year, I ran the year after you. I ran for junior class president against Ben Graff. Guys, no one could beat fucking Ben. So strong hold Ben rule.

It was insane. He had been president. He was one of the he was the kid that, like, ran for class president in fifth grade, the first year that you're allowed to have like elections.

And then from there on in every year he was president, which is why Jenners, like he should have been a go to elementary school because I ran in sixth grade and was president. So then what? And how did I lose my party? Like where did all of MIT. And you're convinced you won? Well, I'm not.

I actually was making a joke.

But like, it is so funny that when you say no, Jenny, I actually think I won my way.

What do you really think rigged it?

I really thought at the time. I remember really feeling now also as we're discussing this, this is the plot of election, isn't it?

Yeah. Election hasn't come out yet, then. No, no.

I'm just saying talking about shared experiences like this is OK, but this is the whole point is that like for all those people in the world that are like that person stole my joke on Twitter or that person or Casey, that story didn't happen. It's an urban legend. It's like all of these things can exist in the same space. Guys like election is the same plot of the movie like. The same plot as what I thought happened to me when I was running junior year.

Who knows if I actually want, we'll never know. Jenny Hutt. Guys, I'm sure in every high school in America, some history teacher is totally crumbling up, legitimate student votes and throwing them in the garbage can.

Great. Glenn Doyle's book, she talks about how she voted herself as prom queen and she got on the prom committee and she's like held that as like her whole life. And her wife was like, maybe you should write that story that I thought that was hilarious.

We and somebody. Wrote, there was like a Facebook post that went viral six months ago or so about someone. Who admitted that they rigged all of the senior superlatives in their class?

Oh, yeah, I remember that. You remember that. And people were mad. They were like, why? Fuck, yeah, I'm not the class clown. What do you do in life that like that shapes your life, whether you get it or not? Like it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Jenny, correct me if I'm wrong in like eighth grade or something. Did you not get, like, sexiest smile like that was an actual superlative because the 90s were so fucked up.

Oh, that's funny. You smile. They don't think, gee, I know you got something with the word like sexiest in. And I remember being like, oh my God, oh my God. I like you and John Pilcher. What I, I don't know. I just made that up. But do you have any of your yearbooks from cockapoo? No, no.

I mean, Jason hates this about me. I give everything away. I don't know if you just saw like my other post recently was my kids, like, aren't picking up around the house. And so I literally just sent all of their things to Africa and have video proof that it's there. It's fucking genius. Like, that's my perpetual watch. I was like, not anymore. More it's gone. It lives in Gabon.

Now we Cheny five gangster. I'm a hardcore like I don't like to keep shit. I mean, maybe it's just because I don't have a maternal mother.

I don't know how to like hold on to things. It stresses me out and Jason's a hoarder, so, you know, we're good though.

You guys complement each other. I have. I think the beauty of like my like my parents don't have shit at their house, but my grandma is like, if you want to hoard grandma the best, all of my yearbooks are at my grandma's house. And if I go home but I do want to go whenever I can fly. I'm not going to Florida anytime soon. I do want to go get my yearbooks because do you guys ever, like, think of a person and then be like, where are they?

Yes, like I said, why don't you just like, look them up online and find out?

Because sometimes. Well, first of all, every bitch I went to high school has a new last name. But then all the guys, like a lot of boys in my high school, like they went by nicknames like I'll never forget this kid that I went to school with from the time I was in third grade and went by Mardie. And then we got the high school.

He was like, I'm Martin now. And I was good, but what? But I looked him up. I like really just had like a wave of being like, what is my daddy doing?

He's an architect in New York now. I was so proud of him. I like my name and I was I get it. I did it with Daddy and I take him out. I mean, he doesn't have any social media, which is like very Marty.

I like that. I just like Googled him.

I was like, oh, no. But he was smart and fun and just like a nice boy. And then I looked him up and he's in New York. He has no social media, so I don't know if he's still there. But I was like, I'm very proud of you, Martin.

So I love what I love when a former classmate pleasantly surprises you because you often so get unpleasantly surprised by how it turned into. But I have like a real handful of people that I wasn't really close friends with in high school that are just like seem like stellar people, stellar Americans, and I'm very proud of them.

That's nice. Did that happen in our high school junior? Not so much.

Well, Michelle, you know Michelle well, Michelle Lane, she's married to Ethan Lane, right? She was Michelle Phillips. Michelle Phillips. Yeah, it was Phillips. Okay. I was like, what's her last name? Michelle Phillips. I talk to her sometimes. They live in DC and she's super cool. She's like, really? I love her. That's not like you would be into her. Yeah. I mean, I feel like a big surprise for me was when I read your book in twenty fourteen.

When you're talking about the second book, no second book is the one that has the like weird story that's kind of about me and I have no problem.

No Jenny because I had like as you said, like, you know earlier in this thing, whatever this is I'm so tired of, like, you know, you build your own stories about people. Right. And so I just had I had a whole version of what your life was in, how you say that was.

And then reading your book, I was really sort of floored by what your actual experience was.

And because we had never really we weren't close like that. So I didn't I just actually didn't fucking know, you know. Yes. And then no, my mom. You were nervous because you thought my mom was going to get upset about the story in the second book because you, like, call her a stage mom. And but she loved it because I love to be. The classic Barb Philips. She's not laughing. She's gonna call me, I'm going to be so I'm sure I'm just going to, like, freak out when I see the book.

And then my dad's like I love every minute of it. I'm like I've said so much weird shit about you, but it turns out that, like, your parents just like love that you're talking about them. Yeah, sure.

My mom loved that you were talking about her. She did not have the same feeling about my son. I didn't say yeah, say yeah.

My family did not we did not have it wasn't great about my own, but I feel like all parents are like that. Like if somebody comes to your house and your parents are like, you can have whatever sex you want and you're like, excuse me, we don't we we can do whatever we want with this person who doesn't live here with. So there are rules like, is this certain? And then there were like the friends that would come over and your parents would be like, the kitchen's closed.

Why do they hate that friend? Like, so embarrassed is that your mom is like stone cold rude to one of your friends. I get it now, though. Well, yes, it's getting a little bit older. How old is Sid now?

He's six and a half, but I get it even on Zoome. I'm like, I fucking hate Dolia or whoever so hard for me to keep it in. And when she raises her hand to ask a question again, I'm like, oh God. And she knows that in the classroom. My son Tadasana, you had a series of friends named Sebastian and they were all psychopaths like you guys find.

I find that whenever I'm in a classroom setting, whether it could be driver's ed, it could be my kids class, it could be like a parent meeting. I revert back to whatever person I was in high school I'd instantly become. And I'm just like, I can hate her, you know what I mean? I'm not talking shit. Like, I don't know. I don't know how to be professional.

I feel like there's no one there's nothing more powerful than a group of like 13 year old girls.

I don't care. I just I just got like a six pack from being in a Marvel movie. And somebody gave me five million dollars. If I walk by a fucking Claires and there's six thirteen year old girls, I'm going to lose my shit like Druidry is. Just be like, keep it together. Hopefully they don't make fun of you. You can't just get to your car. I mean, it's my whole life like for me. Yeah.

Really intense. All right.

Well, Jenny, I'll let you go back to your beautiful life. No family but stopping by. I wanted you to stop. I just I just think it's interesting that I don't know that you have, like, shared experiences with people.

And then, I mean, I don't know, maybe we should ask the question to the audience, like how many people thought their high school or high school elections were rigged?

I don't know why. I thought I really won junior class president. It was like sort of like the height of my popularity in school, I think.

And I just felt like I just really felt like I felt like my you know, I'm really good at giving speeches. Jenny and I both gave speeches at graduation. That's true.

But like, I just think I gave a really good speech and I felt like I just I felt like I had one. You're like that Donald Trump of Chaparral High School.

I was the Donald Trump. I mean, sometimes it's just like I think that it's truly a patriarchy. I'll never forget my fifth grade election or whatever. And I ran for president and I'll never forget this cool little boy named Brandon walked up to the podium and just went, What's up?

And I was like, I lost. Oh, my God, it's over. You just lost y'all.

And I was like, he's the president.

Nothing's cooler than, say, what's up in security tonight?

You're doing your homework after this is to look him up and find Brandon now. Yeah. Oh, my God. In New York, too. Then we need to like have like a full blown meetup.

Here's the thing. I would love for you to hang out with Marty. I don't want you to say good bye to Brandon is up to.

Well, Jenny, I love you. It's been good catching up. If you have any remembrances and you care to come back, let me know if there's things that I need to discuss.

I will be back. I will be back with my yearbook and many thoughts. I want to I want to come back when I have something to actually promote. Yeah, I know that. I just wanted you to come on and promote your tweet. My tweet to gain more traction. Please, guys, we got to get it. We got to get it trending. I love it. I love it. All right. All right. Thanks. Bye bye.

All right, everyone, I just felt like that just illustrated the point that, like, everybody calm down about. And by everybody, I mean Ben not Ben Grauwe, our other friend, that now, because I think it's I think people have the same thoughts, feelings and whatever. Right in the world. Yeah. Every day there's nothing new under the sun. And everybody assumes their idea is the newest and the most original. But like, we're all just kind of living the same lives in different places.

You know what I said last night to my therapist? Uh. Bums me out when I'm so unoriginal, you know, and she was like, yeah, I get it, but you're just not that special.

I was like, I know I hate it.

But you know what, guys? You are that special. We love you so much. We really hope that you're one of the people that gets some of these final tickets to our magic show. If you haven't gotten your tickets yet, go right now.

They're going to you. They're going to sell. They're about to sell out. The link is in our collective profiles. Yeah, it's in my bio, baby. It's in my bio as well. And I think the magic show is going to be a super fun. Thank you, Jenny Mallen, for stopping by.

Thank you. Are to Green Arden Marie in for a wonderful interview. Thank you to you guys. And keep doing your best this week. Guys, we love you so much. We love you.

Love you. Bye bye.