Nia VardalosBusy Philipps is Doing Her Best
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- 25 Nov 2020
This week, Busy is doing her best at not being the best, Caissie is excited about a new Twitter follower and everyone is thrilled to interview the writer and star of the highest grossing romantic comedy film of all time, Academy Award nominee Nia Vardalos. But nobody is more thrilled than Shantira, who used to watch “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” with her Grandma Louise on VHS. Then the group reflects on Thanksgiving and why Ben Affleck wore that tiny face mask the other day. Sponsors:PrettyLitterprettylitter.com - promo code: bestTushyhellotushy.com/bestNuCalmbusynucalm.comOlipopdrinkolipop.com/best or use code: bestBevdrinkbev.com/busy
You're pushing it. You're on thin ice. I'm on thin ice with this podcast. I know my radical honesty is honestly not radical for my life, but this time.
Hi, everybody. Oh, my gosh, you guys, we did it, Joe Biden, president elect, I felt like it's all happening. I know it happened like 100 times. I know.
But now it's like he's won 7000 different recounts. And do you think Mark is going to want him? Oh, no. He I guess his phone has to be here, right, because it has the hot spot. Guys, welcome to Busy. Phillips is doing her best. I am currently doing my best amid technical difficulties, including the Internet in our rental has gone out A. Jackson also doing her best with some other unspecified technical difficulties.
I had to change some Cordura KCC. I'm doing her best wearing a bright pink sweater. For those of you at home who are very keen on this Zoome call and are just listening to this as a podcast as it's intended. That means all of you. Casey, are you doing your best today?
Yeah, I feel like I also had technical difficulties, but Laura helped me sort them out as she. What's going on?
I don't know if mercury in retrograde, is it just pre Thanksgiving jitters or you got rid of the covid spikes happening? I don't know, Scorpio's season and you know, she gets wild. Yeah.
Oh, no, it's Sagittarius season now, right. We're just gotten to the set just like, you know, Scorpio, you know, all of my friends for a long time have been like, I like love Sagittarius says I love that is assembly baby Kelly Oxford.
Colin Hanks, my mom's. My friend Kate from high school. I love and Jennifer, Candy, man, wait, there's more. Oh, my gosh, strapon, I'm just going to name people that none of you know. I'm going around Christmas.
We're born Thanksgiving. Oh, Raymond Padia, my assistant, Raymond Pedia. Oh, my birthday is this year on Thanksgiving in two days. Oh, wow.
Happy birthday, Ray. Happy birthday.
Well, for those of you listening, we're recording this on Tuesday anyway. Guys, how's it going this week? There's lots happening. Are you guys good? Zarian Good.
I mean, like, I'm feeling good. I'm tired. I'm happy to have a little break. Yeah, I have.
I didn't even feel this week because I was working, which was and I was just. I was, you know, just a work monster, I become a monster when it's very intense work and that's who I was this week and everyone was very nice about it.
We got a monster to do because we worked with you a lot. And I never saw you as a monster. I'm just like, do you mean to the people in your life? You're at home, people?
No, no, I. I just feel like when I'm working, I get very specific and pointed about what is happening and what isn't happening.
And so maybe I feel like I'm being, you know, tougher than I usually am, maybe like a little, you know, a little shorter than I usually am. So I was definitely like, I will I will not be available. And, you know, this call can only be seven minutes long.
You know, a lot of that, which is not normally how I am, but that we hear like in every rom com from like 1995 to like 2005, it was just like a lady who was like very busy in a advertising agency, you know, like you were like a rom com protagonist, just like I have a meeting just wearing my suit from Kohl's with my Reebok being testy with people. Yes. At a giant office in a loft apartment I like.
It's funny because I feel like that I we I never had that experience of you like working with you. But I also feel like we had such a different kind of vibe in our in busy tonight in our office.
And I've had I had like a weird I was like a little bit tough at work yesterday and I talked about it in therapy today. And like, I think it's interesting, Shinta is probably having a bit of a different like a similar to busy tonight experience on the Amber Ruffin show, because you're working with Amber and Dwayne Perkins, who are two of your close friends. And so that vibe is a little bit different, right?
It's really chill. I like it a lot. Yeah.
See, I, I, I gather that and I'm doing another, like, big television show as an actor and I'm obsessed with the women I'm working with and I'm obsessed, you know, with Tina and of course our old friend Eric Gurian, who this morning at like 8:00 a.m., as I was talking to him about some other thing, he was like, I mean, I listen to more of the podcast than I probably even thought I would, if I'm honest.
But, you know, just like makes me honestly. It's hard for me.
It's hard for me because I feel like it takes me right back to that writer's room and I feel like I should be there.
Like I do feel like you should be there. Eric. Eric, I thought of your tattoo, which I switch.
But anyway, but so our first episode, our pilot episode was directed by this woman, Cat Cora, who is incredible and like is a woman I have known for many years.
I've heard her before.
Yeah, well, she she just got a very big job after, like, Cat is one of those people that has worked for every like like like nails on in the on the side of a sheer cliff, climbing up with no ropes. Do you know what I mean? This has worked her way up.
She directed an independent movie I did years ago that Justin Long wrote called A Case of You. And and she's just worked. She's done she's hustled and done indie movies and tried to, you know, broken into TV and waves and then, like, these somethings going and then like, whatever. And she's like she got the next Marvel movie or she's doing a Marvel movie. So she's moving to you.
It's amazing. If I knew about these things, I would tell you which one and what it is.
I don't I don't think the people of Hulk in it work for Marvel know. Like I think I said this before, it's like everything's a secret. Like if I ever get, like, abs, you'll know that I'm in a Marvel movie, but I'll never be able to say it. Like if I just show up snatched one day, you'll be like, OK, she's got a Marvel movie, like everything's a secret. No, remember, like I mean, I don't even know what they are.
And I don't know the difference between, like, Marvel and DC and like.
No, what's her name. Geena Davis. When when Geena Davis was on busy tonight and she was like, you're kidding.
You know what they are? And I was like, I really don't I really don't know anything. But so anyway, I just like and the pilot like this is like. This is like a hard show in a lot of ways to do, because it's a show that's like about present day people, women for women in their 40s. And then we have these flashbacks to the 90s that will be like, you know, special effects, but like it's singing and dancing and there's choreography.
But like it's just like a lot, you know, and it's just like you got to be on your shit. So anyway, this cat was like, amazing. And everything was just she was very as women have to be in this business, she was on her shit. They have to be on their shit. They have to be better and faster and funnier and like, more prepared. I just feel like it's been so illuminating that women have to show up so much more prepared than men do.
And it's like she's she was like, I've just worked with so many male directors for years and years and years.
And they like kind of just show up and they're like, yeah, I got it as I like. Just that. That's the vibe and. I don't know, and I just, like, had this real reaction, thinking, you know, to be honest about my own fucking experience, you know, I talked about this in my book.
This is like in my book in the Cougar Town chapter when I directed an episode of Cougar Town and I was so on, it had my shot lists and everything was planned out.
And I was like, really good at it. And I, I really liked it. This was, you know, eight years ago now. And when that show was over and I was sort of at this career crossroads, what am I going to do next? A friend of mine who had a very popular ran a very popular television show, submitted me to direct an episode of their show, and the studio and network said, no, she didn't have she doesn't have enough experience.
She doesn't have real. But how do you get experience? But like but like it does feel like men are given these opportunities and continue to be given these big shots and just are are given the benefit of the doubt, like, oh, never mind the fact that I've been on a fucking set since I was 18 years old. You know what I mean? Like, I'm capable and able to do it, but it sort of shut me down in a way back then.
And I was like, well, I guess that's just not my path. Like, I'm not going to like I don't I can't fucking hustle that hard because I'm doing all this other stuff, too.
You can definitely do it like I have it. I feel like a lot of white men in this past several years would be like or men with I don't know, what am I supposed to do in this moment?
I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. Oh.
So I can't even bow out of the way. Get out of the way. I just feel like as women, all I want from dudes with their privilege at this moment is shoot your shot, dude.
Fine. You you have the thing that gets you in the door. Fine. Then do what every person of color and woman has had to do for the last fucking hundred years, which is be the most prepared, be fucking on it in ways that you can't even think of things be anticipatory of things that you haven't even fucking thought of yet, and think of those things like they need. What they need to do now in this moment is fucking show.
If they're going to continue to like be able to move in these spaces, they need to use their privilege in a way that sets an example that hires women and people of color and that they are working as hard as everyone else.
All I want to see I just want to see that we should talk a little bit about why people who are not white men are so prepared, because in our lives, we have to prepare for everything, you know.
While someone can just walk out the door, a white guy can just walk out the door, that is not the case for anyone else. You have to prepare for how the world is going to treat you. You have to prepare for what you need to carry on you to make it. So whether it's like tampons or being ready to have someone, like, come up to you and say something to you that puts you in a weird situation like those are the kind of things that people who aren't white males are constantly having to be prepared for.
Be on your toes for and you know, it just extends to everything.
It just extends. Yeah, to everything we do in our lives where we're constantly like pilots. We're like pilots going through that preflight checklist of like, do I have this? Am I ready for this? What would I do if this happened? You know?
And so back at Busy tonight, I know everybody have like a good laugh when I was like, let's when we were getting ready for our first show, let's all close our eyes and walk through what the show is going to be and envision every single part of what we're supposed to do and how it's supposed to go.
And let's envision it going correctly and let's envision, if it goes a little awry, how we'll handle it so that in the moment when that happens, you can just keep moving forward. But not everybody has to live like that.
No, I think there's a couple of things here, too, like we don't get to fail because we don't get a second chance. I watch this. I watched this show, the movies that made us and it's a really fun documentary series. And it's like and they did the I did an episode where they went in depth about how Home Alone got made. And the director of Home Alone was this white dude who made a movie that fucking bombed like one hundred percent bombed.
But the writer of Home Alone, what's his name? I always forget, like important white man. He like did the Breakfast Club to John Hughes. John Hughes. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was him. Please don't drag me if that's not right. But he like was he had so much clout and he was like, I want this man to direct. And everybody was like, but his movie was bad. And he was like, he's the only choice.
And it's like we don't get to have a complete fucking bomb of a movie and then get the biggest family comedy of all time to get to direct it because some other dude said it was OK. Also, like I like finally got I had never been on set for like a TV show. So when I did my episode of a television show, I like got to watch like a bunch of directors. I went down there when they were filming and I was like, oh, I could do this.
Like, I think you have to see it to believe it. But I was like, I could do this. And then I talked to a network and I was like, I want to direct how does that happen? And they were like, well, we have to have a director who will let you shadow. And I was like, but if you hire only white men who don't let people shadow, you will never, ever, ever have anybody but white men like directing.
And I was like, when you figure it out, call me. So I was like, it's not my job to figure out why you only got a bunch of straight white dudes directing for you. But also you should realize that you shouldn't hire anybody who's not willing to teach someone else how to do this, because obviously that's job security for them. But that's fucked up. So I think that we don't get to fail and we're not giving the opportunities the way that men are to just be bad, like men get to be bad on the job.
I've never been bad at anything in public life.
Make gender, you know, that's what I always say. I'm always like I just want the opportunity to fuck up as much as guys. Yeah.
Because that's the thing. It's just like once you see, because there's so many men, directors, like the first time you get a woman director, you're like, oh shit. You thought the way that they directed was the way that it was done. And then you see a woman and she's prepared as hell.
You were like, wait a minute, you all are skimmers. Prior to you tonight, you had never been directed by a woman.
Is that true? Busy?
No, no, no. I have. I had had five directors, women directors. I've never I had never had a female showrunner. Yeah. Which I'm so lucky because Meredith Scardino is our showrunner and girls five.
Are you guys the songs? I can't work. I'm so mad that I can't like but I can.
I already have already the in my life with my. You're on thin ice. I'm on thin ice with this podcast.
Now my radical honesty is honestly not radical for my life, but this time I need to write it down a little is the message that I'm getting.
I'm really excited for this show, like I really am excited for TV because you know how the sausage is made, you know. Yeah, but I'm really excited for this. Like everybody in it. Like, even if I didn't know you busy. I was a fan of yours. So, like, it's really fun that every black person knows busy from white chicks, every black person loves busy, everybody is always just like white chicks are so funny.
So I feel like even this I was like, I like everybody already. So, like, I'm excited for this and I don't really get excited for TV, but this is going to be so fun.
But it's also so nice to just work with lovely women who are all super talented, like the best at what they do. Oh, yeah.
You know, like Sarah Burrell is is incredible. Renee Elise Goldsberry, did you guys see you?
Did you. Oh, yeah.
I was with her in it ME2 and she's in the movie and she does it in the movie too. Yeah. Film version. Yeah.
And Paula Pell is like a legend, like she's a legend and I'm obsessed with her.
And then Ashley Park and Erica Elliot, what's Erica's last name?
I always forget Erica's last name. I'm sorry. She they're both from Mean Girls on Broadway and Ashley Parks also in that Emily from Paris show.
Emily from Patti, Emily, Patty, Emily, Patty. I know they got mad at us.
The Internet came in and not Twitter. Netflix was like, it's supposed to posterized. It's like, girl, no, that's like something that was like Lacroix.
Like Joy Lacroix. Yeah, no, because remember people were calling it la la la la la. And then they and then they were like, no, it's enjoy. Lacroix I also really appreciate it because like Americans always try to make something fancy. So we were like, oh, it must be Eloqua. And they were like, nah, it's just not that. And then the one time we did not try to make something fancy, Netflix was like, could you try it?
We were like, no.
Oh, my gosh. Erica Henningsen.
Sorry, I just I did see mean girls with the original cast though so far. Yeah. I said they were so good, so good. And so like in flashbacks they're in the nineties band with us anyway. I don't want to tell too much of the story, but like they're fucking pros like yeah.
Voices are so good and it really eliminates for me how I'm a girl who really kills at karaoke night.
And those guys I do I don't know, harmonies.
I can't harmony. Can you harmonize. I can only I can't harmonize. I if I hear a note like I always say, I can sing, but I'm not a singer because like if I hear a note, I'm missing that note. You got to harmonize. I'm just going saying the same thing you say I could be. I'm asking you if you if you want to harmonize you, you got to do it. We without sang the same note, my character's joke on the show, I'm like I always just go to whatever the note, the person singing, but also in real life, I always just go to the note of whatever the person next to me is.
Is into it still sound good? I mean, I did a show, a second city, and we had to start with some fucking oohs and shout out to Joel boy, my friend. He had to walk by me and go in my ear.
And then I go, oh, he I have to get as far away from me as possible and sing another note, because if he was too close, we were going to sing the same note.
The harmony was going, oh my gosh, I can't harmonize really well, but I have like, intense stage fright, so I never saw the front of anyone.
Oh, why would you tell us that? That's I'm just telling you, it's just like I have the greatest talent of all time, but I don't know, I would never, ever share it with you.
I am also an OK singer and I can harmonize, but I just cannot I can't help you. But I refused so.
Well, speaking of Erica, and one time he was like, what is a situation in which you could sing? And I was like, I don't know. Like maybe I could sing over the phone. And so then he would always, like, call me and be like, OK, give it to me.
I get. Oh, my God, you using our car, I sing in my car. You got to sing in the shower. Shower, I sing in my house. But yeah, and I think that my son is the same because I think one time Lincoln I'm sorry. I think one time he forgot I was in the house and he started singing while he was playing his guitar and it was really good. And then he remembered like 30 seconds later that I was there and stopped.
And then so one time I just asked him casually, like, I have to ask you something really personal.
Are you a good singer?
And he was like, yeah, BOPE. I would never have a hidden talent. And I had a talent. I would give it. I would give it. I give it away. I would tell everybody about it. I would put on Tic-Tac. I would download Tic-Tac to show you talent. It feels for me it's really it's a weird situation.
It really, you know, have you ever gotten lightheaded because you're like having a panic attack or.
Oh, yeah, that's. I lived on a cruise ship. Yes. Yes. That's exactly how trying to sing in front of people makes me feel.
Oh, I'm so bummed because men are great at holding the same.
No, I know, I know. We need a harmony and I feel like this. I don't know.
I now explain to me how old you so hard if you. I'm not kidding of myself singing one time but then we just can't sing the same.
No. Don't need harmony. Yes.
You can record yourself singing and then I'll like do a harmony over it and will I'll do it like transactionally.
I love it.
Let's do it man. Busy. I'll sing the exact same. The exact same.
No I mean I just like we went and recorded some of the songs for the show and like it was so fun but also it was so hard and also like here's OK, we, we did we didn't get to what we're all doing our best at this week yet.
But because we were just talking. But. I feel like I'm allowing myself to also not be my best at something.
Yeah, I'm not I'm not actually I don't know how to be in a recording studio like Sarah Braless or any of the women that I'm working with.
And and I'm not great at harmonizing, but I'm trying and I'm doing my best. And like, you know, and it's hard for me because, you know, I'm such a perfectionist. I cried when I couldn't even get the mouth, the throat scope down. So, like, for me to not to feel like, oh, God, OK, I'm prepared, like I'm prepared. But then I'm like, I've lost it. What is the note like?
I can't do it, you know?
So they're like, OK, but he got it. I got it. I got it, I got it. OK, let's do it right now. So I feel like I've been you have your own Joe Boyd, my angel blade. I feel like I've been doing my best. It's like allowing myself the freedom of like not not being hard on myself, for not knowing how to do this, that not allowing it to like, make me feel bad.
Or or like that that I should know how like to retain geography in my brain.
It's staying in your lane are like knowing what your lane is is really hard because like especially if you're open to trying new things, being open to trying new things and not trying to be the most excellent at it. It's very hard for me because I'll try anything and then I'll be like and now I must master it and shit, I just can't.
You just aren't the master, even if you like it a lot. Right.
And and I think that's important because like I see it with one of my kids, we're like she's very hesitant to try things that she doesn't know if she's going to be good at. Oh yeah, that's me for sure. I always would do stuff and like, never tell anybody I knew how to do it. That's how I was for, like, improv. I like did a bunch of solo shows. I just was like, I'll do it by myself and get good.
And then one day I'll play with like five other people and they'll be like, how'd you get so good? I like only want to do stuff in front of people unless I'm like a champion, like I never want anybody to see me doing poorly.
So that's why I think it's like an issue probably culturally, you know, because what's because we put so much emphasis on natural talent and prodigies and people that are just amazing right out of the gate. But the truth is, like a lot of these things we're talking about, they do take practice to get proficient or to get decent at. And even people that are masters at things still put in tons of hours of practice. And so, you know, like you see it all the time.
Kids that are good at art get frustrated because they're not as good at art as they wish to be, like right off the bat.
And but it takes like takes 10000 hours, you know, that's do you just have to keep practicing? It might about like. Well, yes. Malcolm Yeah. Well, it also might be like just like a girl thing because I think boys get to just like, do I'm doing a dance, do whatever they want.
I'm like, you know, kind of like Lucy Goosy Girls at a young age you're like, I need to be the best because like, I don't want anybody to think, like, girls can't do this or like I can't do this. Like if a boy fails, it's like that's OK. Like, you'll figure it out. If a girl feels all of a sudden she's like the keystone of all of her gender for all of humanity.
Right. This is like I was about to say, Shinjiro, hear the same thing. Like this is all kind of the same conversation. Like, yeah.
Like men are allowed to show up and be like Vibert, like whatever to survive.
And women are like, I have to be an expert before I will dip my toe into those waters. And I guess like I do wish that more men were able to to I wish that we could like meet in the middle. Yeah. I mean, like, I wish more women should be better and women should be allowed to not be experts.
That's the middle.
There you go. I love it. You guys. Well, we solved that. We saw we solved it. Podcast all over gender parity and equality on this show. And I feel like that's all we can ask for on this Thanksgiving eve. Yeah.
I mean, not going to be a problem going forward. Yeah, we fixed it.
Oh, Casey, did you just pop lollipop? I did. I think it's time for a little soda break, but soda busy. You haven't had soda in years. Well, now I do. This is actually true. I have actually been buying Lollipop for a couple of years.
They are they send it to me once a couple of years ago to try and I do really enjoy it. And so then I will pick it up. But it's not a regular soda.
It's like a healthy alternative and it tastes like regular soda. Ali Pop is like it's a soda that comes in all these like nostalgic flavors that we love, like cola, vintage cola, classic root beer, orange squeeze, cherry vanilla and strawberry vanilla. But it has so, so, so much less sugar than so.
The two that we actually purchased in our home is the root beer and the orange squeeze. Those are like the two that I'm obsessed with.
They're so delicious. And they also contain nine grams of fiber in each can there. And probiotics. Right. Prebiotics and probiotics. So but bacteria for your gut and those are like the hardest things to work into your diet. And now I agree. You can just drink a fun soda and get a huge amount of these things that you need.
I really, really genuinely like Ali Bopp's and. You know, it's like there's only two to five grams of sugar from natural sources, no added sugar and.
Just just so you know, just for comparison, Coca-Cola has thirty nine grams of sugar. That's all they're talking about, like heading into trying to keep us all healthy and well, like, I don't know if you guys get into this, you fuck with us. But sugar is not great for your immune system. And I'm trying to keep it low sugar, because, you know, I'm a real sugar fiend, but I'm trying to also stay healthy because I'm on set and I'm taking vitamins and I'm doing like a bunch of other stuff.
But this is like an easy way to get like a little kick. And probiotics and probiotics are really good for you, for your immune system and staying healthy, too. So, yeah, we love it. You should try it. I think, you know, look, just a cup of ice and put the soda in and FBI, all the products are non GMO vegan paleo in Quito friendly.
So if you're doing any of those deals where you want to have less than like eight grams of net carbs per can lollipop, that's what it has. Listen, get on the Kato train. Yeah.
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I looked it up.
No, I don't think that's I don't think that's in the cards for my for my cats that are currently living in L.A. with our daughters, long time nanny Ileana and actually probably Catriona's like, really enjoying themselves, like and they're definitely living their best lives because we've switched them to pretty litter.
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I mean, I will say in popular culture this week, that act or kid, I really went off on it on my Instagram stories, but that actor kid Lucas gave Lucas. Oh, yeah. And have a discussion with the director being an asshole about his apartment.
Hollywood people might not know because that's like it was very big on Twitter. Right. It was also like it was very viral. And then it was like there were articles written about it. It was big, a big trending story. But basically this this actor, young actor, good-Looking white kid.
Yeah. Yeah. All the privilege in the world, guys with that beautiful white face. And it's really cute. Who is it? I mean, I don't even I didn't look him up, but I don't know a lot of things. Yeah.
He's like I mean, by the way, from what I heard. Who the director is, he's a big director. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he but he admitted it. He but he did. The director wrote a piece for deadline apology.
Oh he did. Yeah, I miss I missed the coda. What what happened? Tell me. The director just said he at first he said he wasn't going to apologize.
And the director's name is Tristram Shapiro and he directed it. And people say he's lovely people. He directed my pilot of of Sacket. There you go. And yes, so he's he's worked on his Tristram, Tristram Schapira, Tristram.
And so a lot of people say he's lovely to work with. And at first, I guess he people figured out who he was based on, you know, put the pieces together if there was somebody else. Oh, yeah. A lot of people thought it was somebody else. And so, like. I kind of applaud that he came forward because he doesn't want anyone else getting dragged for for what he did, but he said that he was trying to be sympathetic.
He was trying to say, I feel bad for these poor people in their apartments. Look at this guy's TV is in the background. He wasn't muted. And so then this actor, Lucas, said, oh, no, you're not muted. I know it's a shitty apartment. That's why you need to give me this job. I need this job so I can get a better apartment. But then he posted it to Twitter and everybody sort of got on Lucas's side saying, like, you know, they took it like this director was insulting him.
But the director in his apology said he was saying it with empathy, but still, he was mortified that he was overheard.
I mean, listen, it does that is interesting because I do know Tristram Tristram, but this is a good group. Chebbi Don't yell, don't say shit on Zoome. Always just take it and finitely definitely do not masturbate on them.
Yeah sure. Like that's, that's a definite that's got to be another that make sure that camera's turned off.
What was so weird and you guys at home probably know that we're talking about Jeffrey Toobin was fired from, from his journalism job for masturbating on and a big work Zoome call. He thought that he was in a private room on Zoome still at work.
Don't do it don't do it on Zoome don't.
That's what was so weird about that is how many people are you defending from his colleagues. Yeah, his colleagues at The New Yorker to like other journalists defended him and they were like he shouldn't have to pay his entire life for this one mistake. And I'm like jerking off at work is like I really, really just I've never done it.
He also has a history of, like, doing fucked up stuff. He's like a piece of shit. So, oh, I said it. So he didn't deserve a job. No way.
So I think that that's a thing too that we could talk about in this culture also is that like grown adult white men are treated as if they are boys and people of color who are boys are treated as if they are men.
Yeah. So like he's a fifth year, like a fifty year old man who worked for The New Yorker.
Keep your dick in your pants like he does not. Do you know what I mean. Like if some thirteen year old boys jerking it and he forgets to take off his fucking camera, I'll be like, yeah, you fucked up. You're a child here.
I'll just never understand the need for that instance.
What what is so good about what is wrong with me. I get it off. Wow. Get it off. Get it on. Whatever it is I just will never understand like. Yeah. In your in a work Zoome you're like oh I just got a fuck I, I've got, I've never got it borning. Yeah. I've never been that way. We shot out to like working with all women. We've said this before but it was like if there was H.R. there they would have been mad because somebody were walking in in we'd be like you fat ass bitch, you look so good.
Did you get a new sweater? And then Jasmine, Jasmine, you're so hot. We would have definitely gotten in trouble. I mean, we all took the Kinzie. Oh yeah. Like what our number was on the Kinsey scale.
I love everyone's it too. OK, everyone loves you unless you unless you're a producer. It was like all of the producers were Xeros. They were so straight. And everybody, all the writers, everybody was a but I also love that Janelle shout out everybody like kept getting Gaer like, like we like to get like right. When we started doing the show in like November it everyone was like oh what. Or two if I like meh. Everyone was like oh for dinner.
I was like for now I was like, you're full blown bisexual though it was so I mean. Well by the way guys, we're doing our magic show you tomorrow night. Yeah. And it and it's going over tonight, by the way. Tonight. It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. OK, we're doing our magic show tonight and and classic. Not doing my best for work schedule changed. So I might just be popping in and out of the magic show.
We don't know what's going to happen. Maybe I'll have maybe I'll make Sarah Birrell's come be a special guest.
All magic show hosting duties are going to take place on the set of her show Tonight Show because she tried to say that she had a hard out. But here's also Hollywood break. When you're working on something, there is no such thing as a heart out like I do.
I don't understand that Thanksgiving's not actually a holiday. Remember what happened on Busy tonight where I was like, oh, I booked a Disney cruise. What do you mean we have. A work on the week of Thanksgiving, and you're like, well, we have to do shows Thanksgiving just one day busy. And I was like, I know, but don't we just take the whole week off?
And you're like, No, no, never.
We had to rearrange this whole the whole schedule so we could go on a Disney cruise, our IP cruises. Yeah, it's true. Never. I admire about you is that you really have like you really will, like, go on a trip.
Like it's important to you to go on a trip.
You don't you know, I've worked at places where I planned trips and like now it's like an insult that you will go on a trip, you know? How much time you take?
But I'm saying I've worked in places where, like the host decides that they want to cancel their trip and then suddenly everyone's trip is canceled, you know, and there's and there's no option to be like, you know, a busy tonight if you were taking a trip. But we also had, like other people that were like, oh, I'm supposed to go on this bachelorette party. It's been happening for like a year.
And we realize what, Karalee, that left for like three weeks to go out. I'm like track around somewhere with our mom, I swear. And she did take a vacation that had been planned for a long time. It wasn't that long. You just felt like a long time because it was a really long time. We really wish she didn't have to do it.
But we we respected that she did. So yeah. But I've worked in places where they're like, yeah, I mean when I worked at Letterman every year, we were every desk giving day.
No, I mean I used to work retail same. And like people come in and I'll be like, what about like this Thanksgiving you need this merino wool today you have you like a ham, you ate turkey and macaroni and you were like, now I must get as many cashmere sweaters as possible in Michigan.
And I would just be like, Why are you here? This is all fake. Stop.
And then when my shift was over, I to buy a merino wool sweater at Letterman are our studio was on Broadway. And so when we would have to work on Thanksgiving Day, depending on where you got off the subway, you would have to convince someone, you'd have to convince a police officer to let you across the street where the Macy's Day Parade was happening. And you'd have to be like, no, but I work over there, please, sir, like you.
And they'd be like, well, Snoopy is coming right now, so.
Oh, my God, you know, the whole the parades, like, obviously been there's like some new thing that they've done. It's like ejido. They're going to do performances digitally. Right. Right. Well, they've they've recorded a bunch of them, apparently, like they've done like a lot of Broadway performances and stuff.
But like there are floats and there are balloons, I guess. But they're just not there's not like a parade. They're like filming them at different times. Anyway, there were some up on like thirty fourth today, just like randomly like just random floats.
Can I tell you something, I am this is the time when I'm most happy not to be in New York City any more because I have a phobia of those fucking balloons. And so I'm just so happy they're really dangerous.
They like take out windows if they're not careful. Yeah. There was like there like, why would I want to. Yeah.
Like it took down a telephone pole and killed someone but OK, not really got the killing part, but I know it's funny to me that just like, like Charlie Brown could just like take out like three light poles. It's wild again. When I worked at the Ed Sullivan Theater, they went right by at one level and I would be like just shitting my pants.
Oh, I like them. I believe, like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, my mom really always is like that. And so I've always liked watching it. Oh, layers having a float this year, guys. Oh, great.
A big guy, but I'm on it and I don't even know where it is.
I loved it, those floats because I love who they get to sing on them. Yeah. Like it's like so fun. They'll be like from the chorus of Hamilton. It is. And I'll be like, wait what. And they'll be like from Disney Channel Show that was out six years ago. This is and I'll be like, wait, I love it. I'll be like, this is your break bitch. Do make it count. Make it.
I remember like I want I wanted so bad the year Freaks and Geeks came out. Yeah. I flew into Cardellini. You know how they always have like random television people on. Yeah. They flew Linda Cardellini and her family and I think John Francis Daley and his family to New York and they were like on the float waving the new from the new NBC show Freaks and Geeks, the garden lady.
Oh, my God, John Daley. And I remember I was like, oh, man, that one of it's so kind of like, what? Have you ever been in a parade?
Have you ever been.
Oh, OK. So like oh like a little like a local one. Like I yeah. Yeah.
I like look on when I was in high school I was in the marching band so we had to my favorite thing about you, we had to, we had to march in all of these like springtime Tallahasse parades and just like walk for miles, like holding my flute and like stop and play music. And like ever since then I know that I don't have it in me to do a Macy's Day Parade. I know that, like, I'm all tapped out.
I don't want to walk forever. I don't want to be, like, stuck because, like, everybody watching you is getting a show, but you're just on the same flow.
Forever. It's just like being in bad traffic for days. Yes, I was a cheerleader.
I was in Drum and bugle corps when I was OK. A lot of parades. And then I was a cheerleader in high school.
So not so many parades. But it is it's like often, you know, all those holidays where they have parades are fucking hot. And then, you know, like the band mom, that is like the volunteer and she runs around like squirting water.
Water in your mouth. Yep, yep, yep. This is how you survive. Yeah.
But my parents like eventually like I don't have any kids, but eventually like my dad has seen enough springtime Tallahasse parades. So he'd be like, what do I drop you off. You call me and I'll come get you when they'll be like five miles away.
But like I'm just going to go and then he take me to get pizza was like, I don't need to watch, I don't need to watch. This is my eighth springtime Tallahassee parade and it's the same.
I appreciate that your dad also had boundaries. Oh yeah.
My dad now, he was like, I've seen you play the the the Lincoln High School fight song and you can call me Al a hundred thousand times.
I don't need to watch you walk up the Magnolia Street for like four miles, but he will always take me to go get pizza after he was like, you did good kid and I'll be like pizza.
It was the best. You know, it's interesting because I was thinking about our chat with our guests today.
Oh, yeah. It's so great. I was so happy to meet her. Like, I'm happy to meet everyone. But like, sometimes I'm just like, this is very cool for me.
Did you love that movie? I want to watch it again. Now, I looked at like, you know what? It's a great Thanksgiving movie. It's a great movie. Yeah. My Big Fat Greek wedding is kind of just like a classic. OK, so it helps me really quick before we get to know you guys. Anything else? You guys are doing your best shot this week. Do you want to talk about how you got the most exciting thing that happened to me this week?
And it has nothing to do with how good or how I'm doing. My best is that Dolly Parton's sister, Stella.
Follow me on Twitter. Oh, she's what?
Yeah, I don't know why I must have, like, just responded to a tweet that she was included in or I don't I'm not sure how it happened. I'm not sure what I did to deserve it. But I and I always hate when people brag about who followed them on social media because it's like, oh, it's exciting.
But Stella Parton, that's pretty exciting. Super exciting. It's very exciting. I'm excited for you. I know you've got the vaccine.
Maybe you can get the vaccine first. Baby Stella Parton would be a guest on our podcast. She is also a singer and, you know, following in her sister's footsteps. And like, she just has that, you know, the that part and blood running through her. That's so fun.
I love that Twitter is a hell scape, but it is so fun when someone that you like genuinely like, like, like follows you are like interacts with your tweet. It's like because it's like in real life, if you bother that person, you'd be like, oh my gosh, I didn't want to bother you. But if they just follow you, you were like, I didn't even do anything. Nice to.
Have you ever gotten stagefright on Twitter because of someone who followed you? Do you want to know who followed me? And I took a screenshot instead of my friend. And if she listen to this, please don't follow me. Audra McDonald, fucking follow me on Twitter. I mean, come on.
I literally I'm a ghost. This is a girl that I've had passed away. This is my ghost on this podcast because I saw it. And then I took a screenshot and took it away. And I was like, I don't know what I said, but I hope I don't ever say anything to make her go.
I have I have something to tell. You know what I'm on a group chat with.
I know I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm on a wild Hovind. Oh. Chat with Audra McDonald. I even can I even share the other one? I mean that up to you. I know I'm missing it.
She's great. I look, I even let her in private practice. I like was because, like, I don't usually see who follows me because, like, it's just kind of happens. But I open my phone and it said Audra McDonald. And I was like, you know, some people, like, put famous people names in their fucking shit. And I was like, oh, maybe this is like a stand is when I thought Kanye West had followed me years ago.
And I was like, God. I was like, oh my gosh, is the same account. And then I was like, oh my fucking God, the way. So that is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me in my life.
I love that. That is very cool. Well, and then, you know, and you love talking with Nia Vardalos and we should talk to her, you guys. She's just the best Neens. The best. She's so nice and so cool. I loved our conversation.
And I hope you get a lot from this conversation because she really it was really inspiring to me. So take a listen.
Oh, my God, Bev, I'm obsessed with Bev, you got. I love a drink in a can, I love a drink in a can.
Bev is my new favorite. I love this girl. First of all, female founded business female owners, ladies who are like, let's put some wine in a can so everybody can have exactly the amount of wine they want to drink at the end of their 14 hour shoot day high. They made it for me. Yes, I love it also. You know, I love and Aperol Spritz. Right. But you're like, am I opening up like a sparkling wine?
Because then it's going to go flat. Amul just want one. What? It's Bev. This is the answer to everything. You guys. I'm not kidding. I opened, I loved that rosé. I opened them all and did a taste test and then got real drunk.
We were texting where we find that it was on our group chat about how you did a taste test.
And I mean I truly yeah.
I like enjoyed all of them and just was. Zonked out after anything that has a little fizz, so that's what's special for me, and they're very dry and really crisp and fresh. So I just love being able to pop a can and have a little bit of I think I also just think it's like.
I like that, OK, this is why women this is sort of like what we've been talking about, this is what the whole star of the show is about. Like women just do things better and more thoughtfully deanery. I mean, like they know that we don't need the whole giant bottle of wine, but, like, a little sippy sip is going to be great. It's going to do you good. And there are when you're away, there's your sugar there only three carbs and one hundred calories per serving.
I love that. I love not having to worry that I'm wasting, you know, all my carbs on just a little drink.
I mean, I used the I think I use the extra fizzy, sparkling white wine for my Aperol spritz that I got. But then I drank the rosé and I threw in some ice cubes because I'm not above it. A sort of long and a Oguri, which I love a peanut. Great. But you know what? Here's the thing, too. That's what you a glass and a half. That's my that's my weekday limit, guys. That's the perfect amount.
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Oh. Well, that's it, guys, she's lost it.
That's D-R, I think, B.V. dot com slash busy guys we got.
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Nia. Is that your dog, Nia, whose dog he is when he hears me on his doom? He thinks I said yes and a week and oh, I get it.
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, he came right back because he wants to be in on it. He's a criminal. Go India. It's been so I haven't seen you in so long. First of all, I want to just say for our listeners at home, because we're not a podcast that posts Zoom, you look fantastic.
The hair color, your blow-out. I don't know what is going on. I'm like, why is it sexy? I'm into it. What's it's like a very hot Nancy Meyers film is how India's is that you have like a vibe, like a Diane Keaton.
You definitely have two islands in your crib.
I was just going to say, if I'm in a Nancy Meyers film then and I have a fantastic kitchen.
Oh, my God, it's a dream. You guys. Thank you. It's Zoome. Well, I think that I love the students. Like, you don't know if I have B.O..
That doesn't matter. You look hot. Yeah, I bet your video smells like intriguing. It smells like feta cheese.
Oh that much. I love that. Just really live the life you've lived a life.
That's why I say to see you all high except for Lauren, who's hidden still. Laura's hidden lures our producer and she never shows her face. But it's very cute if you see it.
Well, near the last time that we saw you and actually Casey and I were together, we saw tiny, beautiful things in Pasadena at the Pasadena Playhouse. And it is so phenomenal.
And I remember when it was announced that you were doing at the pub doing it at the Public Theater in New York. And I always loved that book. And I just thought, oh, well, that's it. That's the perfect person.
So the first thing I just want to ask you about is how did that idea even come to you that you wanted to turn that into a show and went I because since I hadn't seen it, I had just heard about it at the public. I assumed it was a one woman show, but it's really not. It's really so beautifully done. I just would love to know where that came. Like how how you got inspired to do it.
That's so nice to say. Thank you. First of all, I've, you know, busy. We've known each other for a long time. And Casey, when I first met you, I mean, we were our faces were swollen with tears after that show, right?
Yeah, it is. It's like a cathartic thing that happens to us on stage, too. And this is how it came to be years ago. I did twenty four hour plays on Broadway and Tom McHale directed me and I know I just couldn't do it.
So he said at the end of it we had a good time and he said, we're going to be friends, took my phone, put his number in and he's one of those people that actually follows through. Yeah, he would call me when he was in L.A. I would call him when I was in New York. And he kept saying, let's find something to do together. And he offered me a Broadway show and I couldn't do it because my daughter was starting kindergarten.
And he called me and said, who turns down a Broadway show? And I was like, a mom, you know, a mom. It was my daughter's first month of kindergarten. And when you do Broadway, you have to sign on for 18 months. So he said because of financing and all of that.
So that's a Broadway. We do a Hollywood break and that's a Broadway break. Everybody doesn't know that. That's a Broadway break right there.
I know that being a primarily television and film actress, I didn't know that until one of my friends did a play. And she's like, oh, yeah, well, otherwise you don't make any money. You have to sign on for 18 months or you won't make any money. Right.
And the financiers won't make money because they need to be able to guarantee ticket sales, which they raise probably for months at a time. But they need to be able to say to the theater, we're going to book your theater for this amount of time. So I get it. I get all of it. I'm a middle child. I get both sides of it.
But I, I just I couldn't do it. So anyway, I'm Tommy said we're going to find something to do together, which again is he's a man of his word. So one time I was in New York and he said, hey, come to my rehearsal.
You know how actors hate to go to people's rehearsals because you're just standing there and you're like just hanging by craft services or which there there's none in theater or you think, well, I could have played him.
You know, I it's just the worst feeling. But I said, what's it for? And I swear to God, I thought he said the life and times of Alexander Hamilton. And I thought it was a. ABC after school special. So I didn't want to go. I didn't know what it was and I went, Oh, I don't want to go.
Why do I have to go to that? And he said, well, Lynn's here. So I thought, all right, I'll go by and see my mom. Well, and Tom McHale at this rehearsal for this thing. And I watched the scene where Anjelica is remembering meeting Alexander Hamilton for the first time and they go back in time. And I watched my friend, who is my friend, put that scene together. And I was like, all I want, I might know a genius.
I was like, oh, this is going to be amazing. So at that rehearsal, Tommy said, I think I have something for us to do together. And I was like, anything, anything. And he said, here's this book. It's called Tiny, Beautiful Things. It was written by Cheryl Strayed while she was waiting for notes on Wild. Her memoir became an online anonymous advice columnist.
What so crazy. And I don't like your sugar, sugar, sugar. Yeah. By the way, were you did you know about Dear Sugar?
No, I was a fan of Sherrills and also a fan of Dear Sugar. And when I found out that they were like the same person dead same.
The same. Yeah, yeah. That's that's exactly what happened in the literary community. And I don't like advice columns because I'm from a large, rambling family who consistently gives unsolicited advice.
I like to put Windex on everything that's on your on your mask. And so I was like, I don't think I was going to be for me. Tommy and I read it on the plane home. And I, I, I told I told Tommy that the flight I was crying in a way not because it's sad, but you, Cheryl Strayed phrase the material unzips you and I.
I'm getting chills thinking about it. Oh yeah. Yeah.
Her so I, I thought I had processed a lot of things and I realized on that plane ride home that I was carrying a lot of grief and she gives you permission to grieve and move on, which is a strange thing that they're they're conflated. And yet she has a way with her words because she doesn't give advice, she offers illumination. She says, I hear you. This is something that happened to you. Here's something that happened to me.
Perhaps there's something in it that might be useful. So I landed.
Definitely not how my mom gives advice. I know my mother has never once been like this might be useful, mother, like you should do this.
So I really appreciate in my family, in my family, you're just at church and an aunt gives you a coupon for eyebrow waxing I up something there, another way to give advice.
And that's a different type of advice than sort of what we're dealing with in tiny, beautiful things and and dear sugar.
But yeah. Salib valid sometimes. Yeah. Got the coupon. Yeah. So we found Cheryl.
Of course we can get a hold of her through agents. I know people have heard this story a million times, that it's theatre, they think there's no money in it. Even though Tommy had been Tony nominated for In The Heights, no one was interested in taking our call to do a play because we both felt it was a piece of theatre. And even though it's an epistolary exchange, I felt that I could arc the narrative. I didn't know how, but I just wanted to write it anyway.
We found Cheryl through social media, of course, and she said, Oh, I found most great things in my life.
And so that was it. We made what I call a hug deal because we met for tea and I just said I would like to adapt this and I'd like to interview you and find out the why, because I write from the place of the why. What does this person want? And I couldn't see what she wanted in the book because she was so not all knowing, but so open and candid. And then when I realized that it was about healing the death of her mother, I knew what I needed.
And I she was so open, you guys, it was unbelievable. Just in table reads in New York, we would have an actor reading the story about the sexual assault she suffered at the hands of her grandfather. And Cheryl would be at the table acknowledging, yes, this is difficult for you. But I I'm I'm past it now.
I'm crying. We're seeing the show. It just oh, my gosh, I can't recommend it at. I'm crying, hearing you describe how it all came to be and just remembering, seeing it. Yeah, it's it's a thank you. It was a great experience. Oh, and then she said to me in that meeting, So do you want to play sugar? You do want to play me. And, you know, we are bound by our ethnicity and our looks.
And even though my big fat Greek wedding was me going, no, I am not going to just play these roles that I am not being offered and write myself a role.
I still struggle. I still have difficulties with I get offered every Greek role that's ever been written and and little else. So to have this to have this blonde woman say to me, do you want to play me?
Was an amazing moment for me. And I actually realized I did. And I said, yes, please.
And so that's was your thought initially that you would write and not act, really? I think I thought I was going to write it. I don't know. I thought I think I thought I would play one of the letter writers. I didn't know what it would turn out to be. I didn't know that sugar would be so prevalent on stage in the piece. I just didn't know as I started writing. Sometimes I, I don't really outline, you know, I, I just I love that because I don't either.
So that's happy to hear someone that does that.
Like I know that like you come from like Second City background. And I know that one of the things I really loved about improv is that, like, you get to be everything you ever wanted to be and everything you never wanted to be. And then when you get into like scripted theatre or scripted work, like they really do take a lot of joy out of it. It's like I used to play dragons and squirrels. Do you mean to tell me I can't play that guy's girlfriend?
And they'll be like, no. So it really is interesting, like you've been doing this for so long. But to hear you, someone who's, like, written one of the most popular, most movies in the world, the biggest movie of all time.
Yeah, but it is. Right. Yeah.
No, it legitimately I think is the number one gross and comedy of all time isn't it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I think that it's really like you talk about being open, I think that it's really cool to be honest. Even then, sometimes you feel like you, you won't get to do what you want to do and you can still be surprised. It's hard to be like I'm not going to get there and then somebody be like, why not?
You like them? And even though I talk myself out of that, yeah, we do talk ourselves out of it, you guys.
I think that we manage our expectations and yet we will tell our girlfriends to reach for the stars and our.
Yes. And and yet we ourselves. Why are we realists once we pass thirty, we think, wow, this is the way it's got to be Nordhausen now.
Yeah. No, I was doing a podcast the other day because I'm in order to get people to listen to your podcast and you have to do a bunch of other stuff.
Anyway, I was doing a podcast and the woman was asking me about when I first got Freaks and Geeks and I and I was like, you know, it's just I literally never considered that it wouldn't be a possibility that I would just like I'm going to move to L.A., I'm going to do two years of college and I'm going to be on TV. And I moved to L.A. and I did two years of college. And second semester I got that show.
And then everything that came after was like me getting in my own way of saying, like, you're not you know, you're you're not this enough. You're not whatever it was for a really long time until I had another pivot and I was like, oh, wait, I can do something else. So when. My big fat Greek wedding came to be because, you know, we talk about pivots on this show and you have had quite a few.
And the reason why I wanted to start with tiny, beautiful things is just because it was the last time we saw you. I saw you. We saw each other and such a wonderful day.
It was such a beautiful day, so moving. I'm still going I'm getting chills again, thinking.
I also wanted to know if you and Tommy had talked about, like, doing it on the stage for, you know, Netflix or HBO. I don't know, whatever those people are doing that now. You know, like. Yeah, I think I think you guys should. Can I just say that?
Yeah, well, yeah. I want to so badly and I we're all annoyingly free so we should do.
I would like we just I feel like should we loop Tommy in right now and let's just get going. Just get it going.
I was just thinking like how well it would work in as literal Zoome format. Yes.
I would like I would, it would be the most compelling zoom in the world. Do you want it. Should we do that with the Gaffin they're doing. I love innovation.
I just think it's fantastic. If you can see right away, Louis is such a zoom bomber.
I'm interested in innovation too. And I think that it's really cool in the ways that some people in this time that's been so unbelievably difficult, especially for creatives, have figured out ways to reach audiences or figure out ways to propel themselves. So that's part of what the impetus was for us starting this podcast. Louis Kamiar. So it's so crazy.
You guys feel it. Feel like Blair Witch if I take you to the house and get a snack for him and give it to him now.
Oh, OK. I would like that. Please, let's do it. I'm just got luck.
I miss MTV Cribs. So this is La Vie. I'm gonna go right into the. Yeah. And you show me your fridge and you're like a real harsh oh a real harsh edit. I do not know why he's like this today, but he is.
And I think that we need to satisfy his itch.
We have to honor him. We have to honor Louis. I know. I love it. He said that I want to and then I want to know the pivot of my big fat Greek wedding and then the my big fat, which I knew. By the way, this is not in any notes. I just know that it's like the number one gross incompetence of all time. Yeah, I love them over there at Platoni.
They treated me like gold before that movie made a dime. It was a heady experience for them. You know, like how it happened is I wrote the screenplay, didn't have representation, got on stage, did it? As a solo show. Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks came. Gary Gutzman, Tom Hanks, his partner came. They Tom called me and said, we're forming a company. We would like to make your movie our first movie. Right.
I mean, that's what that in and of itself, you're like, OK, well, just mind blowing, OK?
I think that really takes me just like as an artist is like you like you stay ready so you don't have to get ready. My favorite thing is them being like, so we should make this a movie. You're like, let's go, I'm ready. I got and I really screenplay. I haven't.
One of my mentors always says people always want to be writers, but no one wants to write. And I think that it's like everybody it's like I want to write for SNL. It's like, cool, you need to write fifty monologue jokes, you know, like gross, that's the job. So when I hear the story of you being like, I know this movie's fucking great, I wrote it already, I'm just waiting for somebody to realize that I'm ready to go.
I'm like, oh hell yeah. Get your script ready. Go, baby. I love it so much. Put it.
Did you know I actually had one of those chili chill moments after the movie came out and I was on a world tour to promote it for what, a year? I was on a treadmill somewhere in a hotel and I saw, you know, when you're making a movie, they do epic. So the producers are there and they interview them and then they bank it for later.
Let's do a Hollywood break. Hollywood epic is the thing that happens to promote your movie where like while you're shooting the movie, they have another little camera crew come in and set up like you're being interviewed for any generic entertainment Entertainment Tonight or. Yeah. And then when your movie comes out, they like send that out a stand for electronic press kit. Like you answer all these basic questions. OK, so you're okay. You're okay.
I'm on the treadmill in some hotel and I see Entertainment Tonight or one of those shows and they're showing Tom Hanks being interviewed on the set of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And I realize, my God, we made that a year and a half ago because we couldn't get the distributor, right? Yeah, yeah. And I'm watching him and he said exactly what you just said. He said, well, we saw this woman's one woman show and we thought it was so great and we said this should be a movie.
And she handed her her screenplay is the biggest flex.
Its the biggest flex that I know in the industry. It's the biggest flex and I'm obsessed with it.
Is it crazy. And so like the timing of them starting their company, we need a film. What do we want to make. What do we want to say. It's got to be something we can afford for our first film, you know, and we and we want it to be. But we want it to be great and we want it to the first thing that they put out together. Is the biggest comedy of all time, also has the heart, has a female at the center who was not at the time a movie star like it was.
It was really saying what their mission was at the company.
Absolutely. And they're actually like that. We look for new artists, they find new projects. They're kind. They're notes were so respectful because my script was big and long and I always, I call it write fat, don't edit yourself, just write, you know, and they gave me notes about trimming back, but they kept saying, it's your movie, it's your movie. And I was like, when are they going to rip off their masks and drink my blood?
And that happened, went with like I got.
I think it's also a true testament to your writing, too. I know my Big Fat Greek wedding because my grandma Louise bought it on VHS. And in Tallahassee, Florida, we watched my Big Fat Greek Wedding on VHS in our house. And my grandma loved your grandma. She was like she she sneak in, I get it. And she was truly there's an old black lady in Tallahassee with this movie fucking resonates. And I think it's just everybody.
And I watched it again later after I'd lived in Chicago. And I'd be like, that's my job. It's like, so it's really cool. God, that makes me so happy.
Yeah, that that is definitely a pivot point. What happened is my friend told me about another standup who got a development deal and I wish I could do standup. I worked at a waitress at a standup club in Toronto and I'm Canadian. And I could not figure out the the the cadence, the rhythm, the timing. It was I was a sketch person. And so I thought, how am I going to get a development deal, which a lot of standards were getting at a ton at the time.
So I made a list of everything that had happened in the last year and borrowed a friend's computer and wrote My Big Fat Greek Wedding just so I could get it registered. I didn't even know about the Writers Guild.
I got it registered at the Library of Congress on a movie. My Big Fat Greek Wedding was written on a borrowed computer. Yeah, yeah.
I couldn't afford a computer. I couldn't. And I at first wrote it out longhand. And it was I just think it's a lesson. It's a lesson to myself when I'm lost and when I don't know what to do. Pivot. So I left the focus of your show. Do something else. Yeah.
And figure out. Like, I think that it's important, though, you know, a lot of us have things standing in our way. Sometimes we don't have a computer, you know. Yeah, yeah. And to know that you wrote things out longhand, you had ideas, you were writing them down. You borrowed your friend's computer when you had the screenplay and you took it out. It didn't sell. Correct. Or I didn't have anyone. I didn't know that you needed an agent to send it out.
I was sending it to Paramount and Universal and it was coming back and opened.
Right. Because they can't. Guys, another Hollywood break. Don't send unsolicited screenplays to production illegally will not open.
They legally, legally can't. Because if let's say they're developing a movie that has a very similar plot to the movie that you just wrote and sent them, then you could sue them in five years and whatever, you know, so they will not open it. You have to have an agent for submissions, but has to go through a whole process.
So you were like blindly sending it out that wasn't working. And how long did you do that before? You were like, I'm going to put this up as a show?
I'd say I think I sent it out for about a year. And then I heard about the Writers Guild. So I registered it there. And then I rented a theater, three theaters like small breaks at a time. I had my stage manager from Second City, Jim Yaddo. I paid him fifty dollars a show. I made my own poster.
I love hearing you say that you paid this guy fifty dollars and that you made your own posters. One thing that is like a huge deal to me is when people take themselves seriously. And I like even paying someone that small amount. You were saying like you're providing me a service. I respect your time and your abilities to help me do this. I'm taking this seriously. That's a big deal.
I think what the bottom line is for me, I say this a lot, is if the phone doesn't ring with the job offer, call yourself.
Oh, that's a good one. That's it. Like I said. Yeah, that's this is your Oprah moment. I want you to repeat that. What is it? All right.
If if the phone doesn't. With a job offer. Call yourself. That's it. That's what that is. Who says who says you don't like advice that I've ever heard?
Yeah, because the theater was ninety nine seats because I'm in equity, so I couldn't make it more than that. I'm going to throw this away for Louie.
So he eats it and the tickets were ten dollars a ticket. So that was a break even thing for me. I rented the theater, paid for my posters, paid for Jim Miotto and I broke even and that was my job. I did three shows a week on the weekends. I went to church. I handed out flyers. Greeks are so starved for anything about ourselves that they saw my big fat Greek wedding. They're like, let's go. And I said, they then they went back with their non Greek neighbors and the show sold out.
And I thought, it's a story and they're unhappy. And then Rita Wilson called and I knew she was coming because my home phone number was on the posters.
I love. This is that's my favorite detail.
I would I would answer my phone with, like, an accent during the day. And and so she came.
And that was amazing because I was so excited to meet another.
Did you when you when you answered the phone, did you believe it was her? I didn't believe it was her until I recognized her voice. I didn't believe it was Tom when he called. I still don't believe stuff like that.
I just don't like type calls now. And you're like, Oh, nice try. I know. I want to talk about our vacation. We're taking, like, pranking me.
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I loved what you said about about, you know, if the phone doesn't ring, call yourself. But two observations that I'm making about you.
You've really, really stayed very true to who you are as a person, that the Pivot's aren't changing your mission or your goal.
They're just to serve who you are as a person and a writer and an actor. And also that you're the kind of person that someone would lend a computer to to write a early play about.
And they were precious goods. Yeah, early 20s computer. I mean, they really loved you and believe you because. Yeah, it was you had to make a down payment on a computer. Yeah.
And it was a big one. Like he had it over and I brought it back and then I would do a rewrite. I mean I wrote the first draft quickly to get it registered, but I rewrote that script 50 times.
And I still to write like on set for any movie I've ever done, they have to take the script out of my hands on this because I love that I'm constantly rewriting because you hear it, you hear the actors breathe life into the words and you're like, oh, let me fix that.
You can't be afraid to like edit like so many artists, writers are so desperate and clinging so tightly to their words and like, you have to be willing to let that work grow. And sometimes it's growing while you're shooting it.
You have to you have to be willing. It's a writer's expression. You have to be willing to kill your darlings. And while we were on set of the first Big Fat Greek wedding, that proposal scene was three lines long because I accelerated the action so quickly that if you really look at that movie, the only conflict that's coming at the couple is not necessarily within themselves. It's societal and it's traditional and it's familial. And so I had to get them so that it's them against the world.
But that meant that they got engaged pretty quickly. So I had a three page proposal scene and I literally spent the day in bed with John Corbett.
Pause, just pause and think about that one day. That was awful.
You know, sometimes you got to just you got to suck it up for your art. Yeah, that's her to suck it up. Suck it up your art. You hashtag my craft.
I was so hard, I just had to be in bed with it.
I was so exhausted that we we broke for lunch and he and I had this pinky swear that we would never have garlic, by the way. But and I realized that the scene was clunky and there was a lot going on. And I, I, I just went to the producers and I said, can I rewrite? And they were always so supportive, that's all. And I just cut it down to those four lines. And I was so happy the way he did it that I see him crying in that scene.
It's one of my favorite scenes and it's truly less is more. Couldn't be more like evident in that because it's just like two people who love each other and it's like you want to marry me and it's like, scream, yes. Yeah, that's how it happens. People go hiking on mountains and then they get on the scream, yes, I have to do three pages. And it was still like monumental. That's a testament to John Corbett.
And he I love writing for him because he tosses away stuff. He's as an actor. He's not precious with his words and he's great to write for. I also love writing for the dad. Michael Constantine. I always felt like you are my favorite scene partner. He's using you.
He's really Fernvale. So, I mean, he's not like I don't know him personally, but it feels like like who he is as a person really comes through with it. It's like, oh my gosh, you're like probably like a really fun uncle at a barbecue. Like, that's the vibe. Yeah. Yeah. Like a really fun, nice guy who would make a mean kebob.
Speaking of the two things on Big Fat Greek Wedding, two that I loved about them, they picked him up and they brought him to set and they said, do you want some lunch? Because it was like a later call for him. And he went, no, I haven't had breakfast food first.
That is legit. Right at the powder room. I know I need breakfast first. Yeah. So I love that.
And then we were in a two hander scene and he had the line where he was lamenting about his wife possibly not remarrying him. And the line was, you walk through life seeing your shadow as two people. And he before we went into the scene, he sat down with me and said, I want to know what you meant by this line and how I can do it for you. And I want it to be. Absolutely. Right, because I think it's about your parents.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yes, I tell you what, a sweetheart.
Yeah. Slayed it in that scene just yet. He manages to be honest and truthful and yet funny. So I love him. He's great.
It can't be a coincidence that you keep saying how respectful people were to you throughout the process of making that movie. But I feel like it can't be a coincidence. I have to believe it's something that you bring out in people.
You know, I've directed and I said at the beginning of it, I'm never going to yell at you.
You know, that big production meeting, Hollywood break, it's it's every department in the room. So you have the camera and electric department. You have the camera crew, which is a different group that you have the focus puller, you have the costume department, you have the production designer and everybody is there, a big long square table. And you talk about the process and you tell the camera department, we do not have the budget for a crane.
How are we going to film these certain certain shots coming with me? So that's what directing is. And it sucks because it's always less money than you want. But I said to them, I will never yell at you. So we're going to make mistakes and things are going to go wrong. And we're going to go over and you're going to tell me and you're going to tell me and we're going to fix it. But don't hide stuff because it's harder to fix a mistake if they're hiding something that went wrong, right?
Yes. Yes, yeah. I mean, I think, like starting from a place of honesty is always the best way to be right. Like with everything. And that's with work. It's with life.
So we are in New York and I'm doing a new show here and I'm so excited.
But my older daughter, we don't have to put this in the podcast, but we could. But my older daughter is like miserable on the Zoom's school situation in L.A. And there's a school here that's literally walking distance from our house. And like, I was like, I know it's a long shot. School's already started. But I emailed the guy and he got on the phone with us yesterday and he's like, well. Let's just talk things through, and I was just like, well, a lot of that and this is like where she's strong and this is like, you know, we could use some work and blah, blah, blah.
And I was just like laid it out for him and he was like, well, I have to stop you guys. This is the most refreshing current interview I have ever had in my life.
He's like most people just come in here and they only tell us how genius their children are, like, how wonderful they are and everything. Like what we were talking the other day on the podcast about the three of us. Yeah. And he's like for you guys to come in and say, like, this is where we all struggle.
I was like, look, her executive functioning like she and I both could probably forget. Next, we're not we're going to pick up this dog. Oh.
But I'm just saying that, like too many people make the error of in the beginning, starting from a place of being false for whatever reason. Yeah, but it only makes things harder for you. Yeah. Yeah. In the long run, because things are never going to be the way that you like are hoping that they are presenting them to be. Right. So you're just making things more difficult for yourself and like to acknowledge it right at the beginning.
Sets the perfect tone.
I love a person I love and it allows everyone to free. Yeah. I love a president. I love a president. I also like I, I mean, like I don't think that I would have made a good movie star back in the day because, like, I don't like men yelling at me. I don't appreciate it. It also it's like I'm a grown ass bitch and don't yell at me, you know what I mean? Like, we can have a conversation.
We are adults. My daddy don't yell at me and you can't do that. So I really do appreciate, like, respecting people at a human level.
I think it's also how you get a good performance out of people, right? Yeah. You know, you're directing a film. You're the parent of the film. And so when you're talking about, like, sometimes being borderline abusive, like we know that that shuts people down and makes them less creative, less forthcoming, less, you know, even wanting to be there.
So I'm I'm sure that is a good part of why you're so successful, like recognizing the humanity and the people that you're working with.
I just have a question for you. So I feel like post Greek wedding, most people would assume that neah. Could do whatever she wants. She's like, you're being offered all the parts, you're you're a star now, which is true. And I think that it might be true. But I just was curious if there was another, like, moment where you were either up for something, something didn't happen. The phone didn't ring in the way you wanted to.
So, again, you had to call yourself even after having such a huge success.
Yeah, it was partly my not I don't like the word fault, but my choice. What happened is I was in the pursuit of motherhood at the time and I mean hard pursuit. And I was trying everything from IVF to adoption and it wasn't coming to fruition. It was bad. And I made the choice not to be on camera repeatedly and the phone stopped ringing because that's what happens at two things. To answer your question, because I did not get offered every part.
I think that sometimes when there's an anomaly, they sort of toss it from the deck like, well, that's a weird little joker. Let's just leave it. And I'm friends with Jon Favreau from Second City, and I remember him saying something about development deals being offered to him after made. And I was like, I didn't get those. I did not get at a studio to offer a development deal. So that's part one. Part two. I decidedly withdrew from being on camera while I was processing that.
Biologically, I would not have a child. And then I made the decision to adopt and I can't explain how it felt. So right when the social workers came to my house and took my hand and said, you will be a mother within the year. And I believed her.
And I'm telling you, I got a kick after kick in the teeth and I found the script written by a writer named Mike Reese. And it was about a tour guide in Greece. And I knew that in order to get something financed, I would have to play a Greek. And that's not a travesty. I was like, fine DeNiro telling a thousand times. So I took it to play town. Even though I was writing for Tom and with Tom, I was writing for God Rest His Soul.
Jonathan Demme. I was writing for a lot of people, but I knew I wanted to go back on camera because I knew I was going to be a mother within the year because that lady said it and I believed her. And I made this movie called My Life in Ruins on the financing. I went to Greece, I filmed it, and I came back and got the call. There's a girl. She's almost three years old. She's living in American foster care.
And I said, when can I meet her? And they said, Tomorrow. And I'm her mom. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, so that was it. That was the thing where the phone wasn't ringing biologically and I had to myself because I wanted to be a mom. But I am so grateful that I couldn't have a biological child because Alara is my daughter. That's my daughter. And she was always going to be your daughter.
Oh, one hundred percent.
This weird thing happened to me in Spain. Oh my God. It was so weird.
I had just gotten a call from that social worker. There was a girl I had inquired about and she had been adopted by another family. And that's great right for her. But I was walking down the pier on my day off from filming my life in ruins at a soundstage and. I was crying because I just I thought, man, when am I going to be a mom? And I looked up to heaven like when am I going to be a mother?
And this girl was walking toward me on the pier like seven years old, maybe holding her grandparents two hands. And as she walked by me, she took my hand and we passed each other. And I I was so she holding my hand and I felt like she was saying to me soon. Oh, my God, that's so powerful.
Little baby. You know, sometimes there's a message and sometimes you can think, oh, that's a little woo woo, or sometimes you can kind of open your heart and say, this path isn't working. Put a Band-Aid on your forehead from banging against a brick wall and turn around. Yeah, yeah.
That's and like, honestly, to me, the woo woo thing is like you're talking to the right one. My lover and believer in the universe, like showing you where you have to go if you're open to it. And I think that we do get a lot of times so closed off into even seeing those possibilities.
And I just love that. I love that little girl grabbing your hand and you just and bringing you that sense of calm. You just needed it. And that moment, it's so beautiful. I mean, that's like to me, that's like an angel, right? Yes.
That's like. Yeah, that's what an angel is. Yeah. Kids are empathic, right. I think that I felt my pain.
They know they haven't been trained out of it. Kids haven't been trained out of there like natural empathic instincts. And when we get older they tell us to ignore them. But if a little seven year old girl is holding your hands on the pain, it's like, oh, OK, she knows what's up. Oh, yeah, they know.
Yeah, yeah. And you're right, we have been trained out of it because I wasn't looking at her. I can't even tell you her exact age because I wasn't looking at her, but she was looking at me and feeling my pain.
I want to feel old right now. How old is LRU now. How can you even believe it. Fifteen. No.
Oh, my gosh. I mean, I met Gloria. She was four. Oh, is that right. Yeah, I thought she had just turned four. Yes.
I brought her to the set of Cougar Town and she was fascinated by the pool inside.
All bloody birdies birdies twelve seems crazy. And Cricket who you know, you remember I was pregnant cricket seven.
No, I think of them is just a little bit maybe you guys.
Why they just keep getting older. I can tell you from experience. Yeah I know it's weird.
I didn't think it was going to happen either, but they apparently that adults selfish of that.
Oh I don't love a I don't. But if people haven't read your New York Times best selling memoir, Instant Mom, I really highly recommend it. I love it so much. All the proceeds go to adoption. Charity is I mean, to date, the information from the book has placed seventeen hundred children and that's incredible. It's all in the. Yeah, like I think if you're open to it, just be open to it, you know what I mean.
If parenthood feels like a journey for you, be open to whatever way a child needs, you know, because there are there are so many different ways in which, you know, I often think. Like I you know, I I had gave birth to my kids, but I remember in the first. Bit of being a mom, I was like that didn't that doesn't matter, like you could have handed me any baby and this or any child and that I believe that even more now, like just I mean, I met people along my journey, as they say, who had chosen adoption as the first option.
And so that's sort of like, oh, that's illuminating.
And I met social workers who build families who have chosen not to have children or partners. And it was all of it was just a lesson in I think I'm an open person, but every day you have to tell yourself you should learn something just so that I love being open to being open.
Yeah, well, I am like always looking forward to whatever you put into the universe next because you've put such beautiful, wonderful soul filling things. And I love your pivot's and. And I guess I don't know, I just want I really would love for everyone to be able to see tiny, beautiful things. So I hope that after this call, you text Tommy and say, hey, I was just talking to Busy and when are we doing that?
And say, you know how men love to be told what to do.
I'm telling you, he would respond. He is going to love it. He's got to love.
You know what I loved, by the way, when you were talking about brand endorsements on how you said this is how I making an income right now, I love it. And I took one because of the hood. Yeah, I love this.
This is why we don't know the messages that we send out and that people hear. So I just want you to hear it. Like, I was like, oh, I want one of those. And so, yeah, it's on the nose. It's for Delta Greek yogurt.
I love Greek yogurt, Greek yogurt and regulations.
But when you said that, I was like, you know what, we are all trying to make ends meet right now. It doesn't matter what you do, just do it with absolute like I'm really happy to be doing this.
Why not all of it thrilled to be here to me. And it's like my I'm like always like, grateful to be here. Glad to have a job. Yeah. OK, yeah. I just. You look so beautiful. I hope that I know that we're still quarantining, but I hope someone is like making out with you hard.
OK, that would be good that you just you deserve a little like make out sesh right now all of you to be happy.
OK, this is what I think. First of all, you have to say to yourself, like you've just been say to me, you deserve it. And here's and here's what I think. Every job that didn't work out is TYL, right? It's a piece of tile and you lay it down and one day you have enough tile and you walk across that bathroom floor to that job.
You I can't end on a better that. That's the other word. That's it. That's it. That's you closed the show. We might not even have to do a third act.
Yeah, I left that door.
You I'm right back at you. We love you. Was so nice to you. Thank you. So yeah. I'll see. I'll see you soon. Flora, thanks for coordinating. OK, I'm so happy we had fun today, but by now it's the awkward. Where's the lead.
Fine. Nice to see you. Bye bye. Bye bye.
Guy is obsessed with you, so great.
It was such a wonderful chat, really wonderful and like just the kindest person and we if.
Can you imagine she just needs to be doing everything. Yeah.
I just really respect her so much because, like, I always tell everybody, everybody wants to buy you coffee and pick your brain and like, she really, like, save your money. Like, listen to her what she said and like make your own.
Yeah. Truby like save your money. You don't have to go pay somebody to pick their brain, like she did it and she was so successful and like fucking like everyone's always looking for an easy way out. Know what she did was she sat down and she wrote it the thing she believed in herself and she did it. And I think that's fucking cool.
She also that was emotional. I felt like rational. It was just I don't know. I just love her. Yeah. Some guys at home, I'm wearing my headphones in a really dumb way because my piercings are infected and they hurt. And I went to a dorm yesterday and he was really nice, but he definitely said they were infected.
Are you guys magic? Show us tomorrow to know tonight. Shit tonight guys. The Are or Magic Show is tonight. I do want to say Mark kind of always gives me shit because I'm always like. I was the first one, but like, I guess magic is all of a sudden having a moment and I do want to say that I feel like if you are not at the magic show tonight, you might be bummed. Oh, absolutely. 100 percent.
Yeah, I was doing back so hard. I fucking love magic. I love magic. I feel like this may be the first of many magic virtual. That's fun to me. I love magic. I think it's so fun. And like if you don't like magic, keep it to your fucking self. Yeah that's right. Cause you know the rules. If you don't like magic, keep it to your fucking makes them so busy. I think you probably are.
You know, you're an influencer like you do for a job.
I am an influencer.
Once you said magic is cool that empowered other people who are like in the closet about loving magic.
Yeah, I think magic is fucking magic is real cool. I bought tickets. They're so excited. We fucking love magic. You know, I posted about the in and of itself show the Derrick Degollado show that I saw in person here in New York.
And then they filmed it. Frank Oz directed at the document.
It's like a documentary about the magic show and it was available for a limited time through this. Like New York, just a limited number of tickets were available through this New York doch fast.
And then it's going to be on Hulu at the end of January.
Yes, but he deemed me a magician.
Did? Yeah. Who's like that show when I tell you I was sobbing uncontrollably. Casey, did you ever see it and no or no now.
OK, I was shinta. It's so up like your guy's fucking alley. I was sobbing uncontrollably at the show here, the one that I watched on TV in person.
I also was sobbing uncontrollably.
But anyway, he deemed me and then I kind of blew it because I was like, I would love for you to come on our podcast. And then he never responded. I got no. But he did say that. He did he did say, thank you so much for posting because I. You like Knauer now.
It's so we sold all the tickets because you posted and I was like, oh, so nice. Also you come on my podcast.
No response, no tired of being in the market.
A good point where he was like, you know, maybe magicians don't really want to be on podcast's rise. What are you going to talk about? They must remain mysterious. Yeah, I have to remain mysterious.
We don't want to, like, know that he, like, lived in Scranton or whatever. We just want him to just like, give us to sweet, sweet magic and let him live with like you just exists.
Anyway, that shows so fucking amazing. I can't wait. Whatever alarm you need to set for the end of January. The in and of itself is the name of it guys. The one thing that we didn't talk about that I just feel like we really need to come back to and I just I need this and I need you both to be here for me in this moment is Ben Affleck's tiny baby.
My was it was literally a mask for a baby if you guys want to help women.
OK, so guys at home, did we talk about this when the podcast launched or not? Really.
We as we did know, we have passed away. We have we talked a little bit about Ben and his we talk about how his girlfriend's always laughing and laughing while I want to know jokes, know if you're just joining the podcast, we three are obsessed with Ben Affleck and why he can't stay home.
How much like how much he loves Dunkin Donuts and why a Mathisen coffee is an impossible task for him because he's not anti mask.
He's just he's like kind of mask. He like puts it all on it. Just like I think about like when you when a kid, like, has to wear like a itchy sweater and like it's like he has the mask on, but like just enough for us not to be mad at him.
Yeah. He really fucking hates. Yeah. But the way he's doing it looks so insane. If you haven't seen this picture I am going to, we're all going to post it.
Yeah. There's something about Ben Affleck that is just deeply, deeply fascinating. Yeah. Because I just he's just out in the streets man. I want to know what's going on in his head.
He's like I'm aware, I'm aware of his mask, but I'm aware of it on my own terms. I am Batman.
You know what's weird is at this job this week, one of the producers gave me a mask from her mask stash and I put it on. And when I. Looked in the mirror, I was like, oh, my God, my head is like a giant pumpkinhead, this mask looks so small on me.
And then later in the day she was like, oh, shoot, I gave you a children's book, Eyes, and she stopped it for an adult mask. And I was like, oh, OK, that's more like it. But I just want to say that when I was wearing that children's mask, it was no way as small as the mask.
Where I, it was like it was like believable that I just have a pumpkinhead and that was like slightly too small for me.
But this thing that Ben Affleck was wearing was like it was like a miniature mask. It doesn't make sense yet. It defies logic.
It's so insane. But here's the thing. He had a mask on.
And you know what? I'll take it. But it's so funny.
He just was covering his nose and mouth mouth more than we can say for a lot of people. People are always walking around with their noses hanging out. And he had them both covered, but just so barely grazed.
Yeah, he's like a fucking pad. It's like it looks like a I love dad. What is he doing?
He's Batman. He's doing whatever he wants. Is he why? Ben, remember, did I ever tell you guys about when I tried to talk to him about being sitting next to each other at the Oscars and he was like, literally, yeah.
I was at a party at my friend's house and it was a daytime event. Yeah. And he was there.
And I like, you know, like, yeah, whatever. Anyway, so. It was the it was probably like. I'm trying to think how many months after the Oscars, the moonlight debacle debacle, yeah, you know, yes, debacle. And there's the famous picture. And I'm I'm I was sitting next to him. I literally said to him, I was like, do something. I can do something. And yeah, that's what I mean, truly, that's what I said.
I was like, you're you're Ben Affleck. Do something to it. And and I think he was in a difficult period of time in his life, maybe at that moment in the Oscars situation.
Anyway, we are at this daytime party and you're kind of like near each other.
And and I was like, hey, have them seen you since the thing?
And he looked at me and I was like, oh, he has no idea like that I.
And then I just kind of like back back like I didn't know what to do.
I was just like he was like, oh yeah. Huh. I was like, OK, I will want to talk about that all the time. I want to talk about it with everybody. I want to pull up the picture of all of our faces and be like, you're one of the faces that is connected to. I think what we have to talk about. You guys should have a meeting like a reunion every ten years. Yeah, I feel like he was just like he was just like, oh yeah, that was wild.
And I was like, what was the worst moment when you like when you meet people that, you know, like I don't know. There are people that know a lot of people that moment where you have to decide when you run back into someone, if they will remember having met you and having this experience with you and will expect you to say something to them, or if they don't remember at all that you oh, my God, it's him.
But it's on this show. But it's like it's like. Right. No, he didn't. He wasn't. I'm just to be clear, he was not rude to me at all. He was just so chill about it. He just felt it felt like he was like, oh yeah. That was weird. Yeah. You know what I mean. I was like, what? No, it was OK. Yeah. I mean. Right, yeah.
So weird. You got to find somebody else who wants to talk about it because if I was there we would have had we would have had a state dinner. Yeah.
Like our friend Eric was with the election and we were on set and everybody was like sharing their horror stories of, you know, the 2016 election and where they were and whatever. And he was like, I he happened to be in some viewing party room with like a famous chef. And they like locked eyes a few times. And then, like fully two years later, I was walking down the street and the famous chef was like, hey, twenty sixteen, like, pointed out like and and, you know, that's the thing.
Like you you, you have to do this. You trump, you hang out with people and you always. You have to. You have to. Yeah. We always talk about it. But it's like when you're on the fucking subway and somebody does something wild and you have to when you guys happen to get off at the same stop and it's like we're going to talk about this for five minutes and then we're going to disappear into the ether.
Like if I was anybody in that picture, that infamous moonlight picture, I'd be like a remember when we was just chillin and then that happened. What the book I would talk. I'm disappointed, I'm disappointed when I say I have to say I was disappointed as well. I also was like, you know what?
He's got a lot going on. Yeah. He's probably thinking about Duncan. He's like, when when is next? Duncan I scorpion's he was his. I don't know, he just has a lot happening, and I'm sure he totally remembered it and I'm sure he totally remembered it after the fact, but maybe it just, you know, sometimes when someone brings something up to you and you're like, head isn't in that space and you're like, oh, what?
Oh, again, I think the moonlight gets a pass. Moonlight gets a pass, moonlight gets a fucking pass. It's not like so like you are at a baseball game and the ball hit your car. This is like a thing that is iconic. We all know it like busy. I know what your face looked like the going to happen, you know what I say. So like he doesn't get a pass on that.
Everybody says, yeah, I just I don't even know like just his like. Yeah, like I just the sort of nonchalance about it is what in that moment to me I was like, well that's weird.
You don't even think that that was like the craziest, most fucked up thing that I don't know, whatever.
Anyway, maybe back to Ben and his tiny mask. It's wild out here. It's wild out here. Ben, get a bigger mask, but we appreciate you wearing one.
I mean, I may blow those up for you guys for Christmas. Present them.
That may be your those maybe I maybe just spoiled your Christmas presents here.
You think I put it up because I think it is funny.
We all just need like a five by seven. Should we just how do we get the rights to that paparazzi photo? I just put it on our merch.
I fucking wear that sweatshirt. Would you wear a mask with that on with a picture of Ben Affleck's mask on it?
Yes, I would. Oh, my God. It's all I want now. Oh, for God sakes, can I just make one for me? We don't even have to sell it. Yeah. Yeah, just make it. Will the paparazzi sue me? Yes, they do.
The worst they could do is give you a cease and desist and ask you not to wear that mask anymore. Here's a thing. You can make it for yourself. You can't sell it.
Yeah, I believe that a paparazzi would be very grateful to have an influence. Are like busy PHILIPPS wearing their cap shot on their mask. It depends.
They will they do be soon. We got to look up who this guy is. I'm going to see I'm to look up I'm going to look them up and see if he's a he's a paparazzi I've ever come across.
Probably am. Well, let's say I want to see if maybe we could, uh.
I mean, how dope with those shirts be.
We've already guys, just so you know, for the re the podcast emerge. It is we are hard at work. It is all happening. It's happening. We did. We want to get it up this week. Is it happening this week?
I want to get it up this week because like Black Friday, you know, guys, Friday, I want everyone to stay home on Black Friday and buy things from our merch.
Guys, I hope you're all staying home.
I hope you're like all else taking care of yourselves. And I mean, look, I got to tell you something. I heard from before, Michel, that, like, they thought they were seeing family. They decided whatever it is, everybody's been tested and we've all been tested.
And I was like, but still, I think we're just going to stay by ourselves, you know, just because. Fuck it, man, I don't know. I don't know and I hate this all, and I want this pandemic to be over, we need to find out who this paparazzi is that took this photo. There's also a Diet Coke in here. I mean, there's so much I can't tell which picture I like the best. Anyway, our merch is coming.
I love it. We've worked so hard. I mean, that's they've worked hard, but not a lot of it.
We've had a lot of opinions that it's hard work, too. And and I do want to say, um. I think what you guys are going to love the most, I ran this by a boy from high school, Chrissy Chrissy, who's the podcast's number one fan, that there are going to be waves that you get to like it's going to be kind of customizable. What saying you what saying speaks to you. Yes. On your mirch. So it doesn't necessarily maybe maybe doing your best doesn't speak to you or Archaia, it's on a billion different other fucking t shirts and sweatshirts already.
But maybe there's another saying that maybe does take it to the group chat with you.
Yeah, take it to the group chat. It's never just about snow babies. We have the numbers for good.
Whatever you need to get you through. That's what we're trying to do.
Human Penni. I want all our merch. I can't wait for it. Yeah, I'm really free.
And we'll let you know as soon as it's live. We'll, you know, just look out on everybody's Instagram, I guess, because we'll let you know as soon as it's possible to get social means.
In order some stuff, OK, guys, here's a good question oh, we need more fan mail slash question advice people people miss that you can email us at busy doing her best at Gmail dot com and send us some questions if you'd like some advice.
And we'll resume doing that maybe next week. Yeah.
You guys, here's a question from Sarah Barrales right now via text. OK, this is not for the podcast. I'm going to ask her and I think it will be good.
Do you think you want dimmers everywhere in a house or just. I just got a quote for regular switches, but now I don't know what I need. This is a great question.
I don't want dimmers everywhere in the house, but I do want light bulbs that are controlled by my phone number, which technically is a dimmer.
I want dimmers in the living room and dining room, in the dining room and the bedroom, but for kitchen hallway baths, full bright lights, weight baths. I go them because I like a moody motherfucking bath.
Yeah, that makes sense. I think that for the bathroom again, I am a this is not even a plug. I am a fan of a Philips hue. So depending on what's going on in your life is what you like.
If you like, you can make your lights any level, any color y anything. Yeah. So I can just put like purple lights in my kitchen or it's it's all controlled by your phone. You can come up with, you know how you love sunsets. Yeah. Take a picture of a sunset and ask your Philips hue bulbs to mimic that sunset.
Are you in a room. You are you making this up. No. And then. And then you can set it for sunrise. So like if you are in a room that doesn't have a lot of natural light or isn't facing sun, it will brighten in the morning the same way a sunrise will and it will lightly wake you up. So if you're not doing dimmer switches, I'm a big fan of a Philips. You you can also set it so that when it plays music, the colors change based on the type of music that you're playing.
Yes. Oh yeah.
You can coordinate it with your music to like pulse with your music kinds of different things.
Just do either of you have these. Yeah I got them, I, I have them. But somebody who did the nice task of moving us across the country left them in our house for the renter's day. And so I have to get them over again and they are a little prices. They're expensive.
They're like forty five bucks a bulb. Yeah. So I'm looking it up right now. You guys put out one of our ads. No, but on Friday I'm going to now that I'm in a bigger apartment on Friday I'm going to get more because I'm going to put some behind my TV and put some in my room.
I can get more reps, you can get the bulbs, you can get all kinds of different things. I love it.
So that's what I tell her. Like get a Philips, you put it in the room, see if she likes to do before she goes to the little hub and get a tester if she wants to try as I am.
Getting this shit right now, bring all of it, all of it, all of it away. Phil Black Friday.
See if there's a sale. They always send those Myrdal.
They're like they're like 30 percent off every year. That's when I buy them where I don't even know where you go for Black Friday sales.
Have you ever fucked with Black Friday sales like in person?
My sister. Oh, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. No, no, no. Have you ever heard diddly and talk about it when we were on business tonight? Yes. How do you plan it out with, like, the flyers? It's insane. Yeah, I will.
I will never coupon. Yeah. I couldn't. I have too much anxiety.
I would rather pay one hundred dollars for one plane white t shirt than I would pay, I would pay any amount of money, just double not to go to watch this, just to have not be touched by.
I just want to get punched in the face because I had a job once where I got punched in the face a lot. And I'm, I feel like I don't want to do that anymore to punch you in the face when I work in that nursing home.
People punched me in the face pretty much every day, though. Yeah, yeah. Yes. And but some old people are really strong. They are strong. Yeah, they're small, but strong as hell.
I've gone through enough face punching where I don't want to do it.
This is so dark, just like I've been punched in the face so many times by old people.
Babies and old people are so strong babies they'll fuck up your face. Babies and old people will fuck up your face. I mean, babies do fuck up your face. Yeah, they bite you, scratch you up, open hand, slap you. Have you ever been open and slapped by a baby. It's fucked up also. You can't do what you gotta do Kipsang. They can just be like slap them back. It's just like you just got to take gas will be.
Yeah. Also like the power move. It is a PR move. They know you can't do anything.
They're the only people who like open slap you in front of people. You could just be out and a baby like slap you and you just be like, I have to take this in front of company.
All right, guys.
Well, listen, I don't know. I could just kind of talk all day, I guess. But I suppose that that's probably not not the vibe because we haven't seen each other in a long time.
And it's like, you know, it's the time for talking. Yeah, I'm. I am. Oh, no, I'm right.
I'm actually and I spent I cried so much this weekend. Holy shit, I can't talk about it, but I did cry a lot but.
I did get real sad about family stuff and not getting hearings. Yeah. And that it's going to be a really long time before I get to see my family again.
And, like, it's really hard.
It's really hard.
So I just want to say for anyone out there, we get it.
We love you. Face time, people reach out to people and and maybe if you're like, this is fully my vibe and I hate being around people anyway, that's chill.
But think about people in your life who maybe are not feeling great and reach out to those people need to hear you.
You know, like, what's up? I sent my mom flowers today and I just she just texted me while we were doing this and she said, oh, I love the most beautiful Thanksgiving flowers.
Elizabeth, thank you.
And also, if you don't really have anybody and you're wishing that you did, you know, say, hey, I'm on Instagram or whatever, and, you know, let us know what's happening and we'll definitely say, hey, back, because this is really got a communication.
I'm not the best at it, but I like if you've ever sent me a message, please.
I'm so sorry. Like, I don't check those messages all the time. I respond sometimes, but then sometimes it's too hard.
Yeah, but, you know, we're we're there and we definitely see it. And we love when you guys say hi, so do that and I will at least say hello.
And also I will sometimes. But also I do want to say, guys, I know that like the Internet gets a lot of, you know, rightfully its chad fire, you know, but I do love so much about it in terms of cool making, like bringing us, as you know, being able to give us a sense of community and like friends. And I just think my Internet friends are my real friends. They've become some of them, my closest friends ever.
Yeah. And like, it's fun, the internet, like fun. We're like our back. I our we share a backyard fence with a family and the woman and I were Internet friends for a few years is not crazy. That's why. And her kid and Crickett are not only the same age, they're now in the same pod together in their new school and the girls do school. And so like we I like weirdly, this is, you know, somebody that was like just an Internet friend is now not just a real life friend, but also like one of the only people that I can see and my kids see because of the pod situation at our kids school.
I mean, we still wear masks and sit outside. But like, it's kind of it's amazing. You know, you never fucking know what these relationships could turn into with absolute school.
You just always have to be open. So we love you.
Maybe we'll see you tonight at our magic show. How is your Thanksgiving? Maybe we'll be tight.
We don't even know. Fingers crossed. Yes, there might be tickets left if you didn't get your ticket yet. But if not or if you're not coming to the magic show. Yeah, happy Thanksgiving.
Happy things giving.
I also think we should just retire Thanksgiving altogether, but whatever. That's a whole conversation for another.
Yeah. Yeah, that's for the next guy. Happy have a day off in eat. Unless you work retail, don't let anybody slap you.
That's great. There you go. Anybody up. If I slap you. Unless you're a baby. Unless it's a baby. We love you.
Good bye bye.