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[00:00:00]

What we're saying is that this is our show is the equivalent to live the same exact same thing, the exact same show.

[00:00:10]

And in this scenario. I guess. I am I Regius, no way, I'm Regis and you're Kathie Lee, and then Casey is gelen. Hi, everybody. Hello, Barracas, I'm going to pay later right now, I forgot earlier you're going to pay your bills right now.

[00:00:44]

I just have to pay my therapist.

[00:00:46]

Do you do that right after therapy? I have to because I said I'm already starting off.

[00:00:52]

Sorry, very salty with me. I'm sorry you. But you can take it down because I can't. I can't. I'm not in a place I can't deal with it. This is Santeros day. You're going to have to check the saltiness. I'm not. I have.

[00:01:05]

I got I did not today. No, I was just going to say I was a little salty because you hate counting down before we start the podcast. But when we don't count down, it's a disaster to try to edit the podcast. So it's just a small little thing to save us several hours. And so, you know, just a little thing.

[00:01:26]

Well, I just just I feel like I feel like we never count synched up, so. I know, but it doesn't matter.

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And I can you know, I don't need your time starts. Right, exactly.

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I paid LEADA we counted down.

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But most importantly, it's shed tears.

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Last show. For day, for now, for the time being. Tears had such a big week because she was like a big appearance and Barb and Star go to Vista del Mar, the movie that everybody's talking about.

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Yeah, I got to be in that movie for two minutes.

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Yeah, I remember. You got it. I was so excited. Yeah. I mean, I went to Mexico in 2019 and then it was supposed to come out the weekend of my birthday last year, but then they pushed it to like another nine months. So I didn't tell anybody anything. Hollywood break you guys, you don't have to do this, but I don't tell anybody anything until the ink is dry, the check has been cashed or I have officially made the cut and people have seen it because.

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So nobody knew about this little cameo. I mean, I knew I knew that because we talked about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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But it's it's smart because also our friend Tom Link was in that movie and he was cut out. Yeah. So really I don't know. Yeah. They cut him out. So even then the day that it like premiered my friend in Amsterdam like watched it before I even made a post. She was like you are in it.

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And I was like, OK, I'll put together our friend, one who listens to the podcast.

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He also let me know he was like an entertainment reporter in Puerto Rico. And so he told me a couple of weeks ago, Shintaro has a whole scene. He messaged me on Instagram.

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Who Besi. And I was like, it could be good.

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I'm very excited to watch it. I haven't watched it yet, but I'm super excited to watch it. You guys, it costs money. It costs nineteen ninety nine to rent. I don't make the rules. I have no way of getting free. But it is good. The movie's good and I think that's what I think too is like, you know, like if you are a performer you'll be like hey man, you ain't got to go to this, you don't have to pay for that.

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Like, I was like, it's good. Please watch it. Don't be mad at me.

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It's like, sorry, but I think it's worth twenty dollars. It's really funny. I think a lot of people liked it. I had a really good time. Also everybody on that movie set was so fucking nice.

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Oh that was so great and it was so great. They were so nice to me. I was only there for on set for like one day Kristen came into my head to cover up all my tattoos. So she came in there when they were covering up all my tattoos and talked to me for like twenty minutes. They were so kind and they improvised. I had really no idea what was going to be in the movie. So it was a wonderful experience and those ladies were so great to me.

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So if you're wondering what those two women are like, they're very nice. They're just the greatest. Now, Kristen Wiig and I have been friends for many years and but like, the kind of friends were like, I haven't seen her in a long while. I guess the pandemic. No one's seen anyone in a long time.

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Yeah, but like, you know, like we have had dinner, but like we're not like pasties, you know what I mean. Yeah, but yeah. Like when she was filming Wonder Woman, I don't think I like we didn't email or text or anything, whatever she was gone.

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She was like on me and that was the year we were doing busy tonight. Yes. And I saw her.

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At some point when she came back, I don't even remember when this was exactly because what is time and what does it matter? But I bring this up to tell you that she was like, oh, my God, I'm so glad to see you. Do you know that I watched your show every night in England when I was filming Wonder Woman because it was always on the air. It's like one channel at like I would get home and it would be on and it like made me feel so it made me feel like I was home, like, because it's you and the way that you talk and, you know, whatever.

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So she was a full busy tonight fan from England that I know.

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Well, she was. That's so great. It's like they say, never meet your idols, but she's like a wonderful, kind person. I had so much fun. Also, we were in Mexico in the snacks. I picked Kathy, those Mexican snacks. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. America stuff up Mexico's next game on your talking point.

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But, you know, I will take I grew up in Arizona. You know, I will take a chip, salsa, guacamole moment over almost any other.

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I would say it really was. They had I'm still trying to find them.

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They had this like, you know, I don't do spice because I have the stomach of an eighty five year old man, but just like peanuts wrapped in, like, candy with what's it called to to him. What's that little spice for him to.

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He sounded like some of that on these nuts.

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And I was like, do I need to go to Mexico. They were so good I only had them for like that day and I put a bunch in a paper bag because at the end of the day, I employed a trash and I flew them back to America with me.

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Speaking of your word, yes. This brings us to our first message. First Yantra from all corners peppered them throughout the show.

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I think when the moment is opportune, Casey, feel free to jump in if you see an opening.

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I know you have the messages as well, Lou. I do. This is from someone named TI. Thank you. Because this is advice for as Gerd, I'm not on Instagram, not sure how to get in touch with U.A., please pass along this message. I'm just a normal person, not a doctor, not selling you anything, just from one human to another. You've mentioned your struggles with GERD and a goal not to be on the meds for it.

[00:07:36]

Thank you. I've had the same struggles and goal, I finally achieved it and I thought I'd share how I got there after a traditional Western medicine and years of prescriptions failed me. Here's what I did. I worked with a naturopath who helped me do all of the following. Keep a food diary, find your triggers. Once you find them, you don't have to eliminate them, but you learn when and how to manage them. Take natural supplements.

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After two months on them, I weaned off prescriptions and was fully off all prescriptions within a year. Now I totally manage my gerd using my supplements and as needed and I'm symptom free after a decade of gerd pain.

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And then she included the supplements, which is good. That's OK. Just listen to me because we don't want anybody taking it and they're getting mad at us. All right. This point because somebody is going to take it and then who knows. But send it to me.

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I will try to you email. Right. Thank you.

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Yes. Shout out to everybody who sent me gerd. Information has been very helpful. I like OK, this is so wild. So I had someone come to my house and like, move my stomach. So, you know where your puncture type, like like almost like a chiropractor, like they can pull. You remember I told I was going get my my fucking stomach pulled down. Yes. Because I was I watch like a hundred thousand million chiropractic videos.

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You guys, I love them. I think they're so cathartic. I like to watch people get relief all over the place, primarily in tech cracking. A lot of Texans get their backs cracked. But I did this thing also. I don't sue me. I did. It's called visceral manipulation, massage therapists. And basically I like to think about it like like a cat kind of doing kneading the bread.

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If you eating Bilkent eating biscuits, I got someone to, like, help move my stomach. So like, I went to a doctor, my Western medicine doctor who's fantastic, you're great, doc. And I was like my girds out of control and he just up my prescription, which I didn't think was the I was like, I don't think that's it. Like they're always like lose weight, get a give you more drugs. And I'm like, I don't do either of those things.

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So like, truly, this is a story like I got my breast reduction and like I'm literally like a half an inch taller than I was before, like all of my my back and my neck all straightened out because I've been hunched over forever. And I was like, I think that when I stood up straight, like my esophagus pulled my stomach, which like I'm not a doctor. But I was like, it seems logical that if you're hunched over for fifteen years and then you straighten up, everything moves.

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Also for people who don't know when you get a breast reduction, the weight on my chest was gone so that my lungs can literally take in more oxygen.

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So I just breathe and deeper. I don't know if you guys could hear that, but I was. You were saying it. I would carry it, yes.

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So my lungs and my ribs are expanding. And I was like, I'm not a doctor, but I feel like when your ribs move and your lungs expand, like things can be shifted around. And my stomach was hurting really bad. And then I, like, got my stomach moved over, my esophagus stretched. And I feel way better. And I think that if anybody out there feels bad about their body, like sometimes you're right. But wait, can I ask you a question about this?

[00:11:12]

Because I do occasionally I get or I used to get it a lot last year.

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Lymphatic drainage massage. Yeah.

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And yeah, they spend a great deal of time in my body cavity and it feels like they're like moving stuff around.

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Yeah, they probably are. I mean like but it's soft and gentle. It's not really it's pine. Yeah.

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It's just like kind of like the cat do have. I really felt like that. And I want it because the doctor was like he was going to do another endoscopy on me and they're like a thousand bucks and I have to go under anesthesia and be out of work for the whole day. And I was like, oh no man, I'm about a move my stomach before we do all that. And he moved in. I feel better. So, I mean, I keep you posted.

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Is it the kind of thing we're like, you got adjusted? Do you have to continue to get adjusted?

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Because like, if you're a person who goes, I've gone periodically to chiropractors throughout my life, like if you're a person who kind of needs their body to be adjusted every once in a while. Sometimes you have to, like, keep going back and keep doing it right. So is that what's going to happen with the stomach?

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I think that I will and I, like my partner, said it best. It was more like a triage, not like, OK, this is a steady thing we're going to be doing all the time, like, OK. My stomach was fucking killing me. I think it has been shifting for over a month. And like, it didn't matter how many milligrams of fucking omeprazole I took, that wasn't the thing. So like I think my major thing was like, my body is different.

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And like, I made some adjustments in suit. And I think that, like, I will continue to see them, but also, like, I haven't gotten adjusted or done anything in a year. And like usually even on your worst case scenario, when people who like don't get massages, they'll go like once a year, once every six months for your birthday, for Mother's Day. And I think this year's been really traumatic for people who like to get adjusted or get a massage or treat themselves to facials because like we've all like most of the stuff that we do to take care of ourselves is like outside of the house, like the movies.

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We go to dinner, we go to a doctor's office to get to see our friends. Yes. So I think that, like, just seeing that guy for the first time in over a year, like, I think that it was like my body was like, OK, this will do for now. So we'll see if I go back to him. I'll keep you guys posted. But he is great. I felt way better. I don't have to get an endoscopy.

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And obviously, like I believe that, like, when it comes to your body, like the Western medicine, especially here, like I did everything like that. First I went to my doctor, I got a new prescription. I like stopped eating everything that I like and drank like warm water and ate beans for like a week. Like, I seriously was like, I'm not going to eat anything. I'm going to see what it is. And it wasn't anything I was eating.

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It was literally just like I have a new body in my organ turned around. So I went really good. I think it's interesting. Weird stuff happens like that post pregnancy for women too. And you just have to like your body, like everything's in different places and it takes a minute to like for your body bags at all. It's like an old house kind of maybe.

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Yeah. That you like put a new floor in and then you have to wait because the House has to settle with the new floor and it is.

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Yeah, but a good analogy I think. Yeah. I mean it was a whole month because like I had my surgery and I was like I feel great. And then like literally like I've been standing up not like a little hunchback for the first time in over a decade.

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And my stomach was like, we usually are down here, why are you pulling me up here?

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But you really do look at all. Are you also like you're not but like but my neck, it looks like I got a little nip tuck on my neck because I really don't pull it all pull back.

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It's wild. It's really wild. Bodies are wild.

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But I am like I'm like my girlfriend used to be taller than me, but now I'm taller than her, Jay.

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And because I like group grew. So it's pretty funny. And well, Shinjiro is leaving us for a time and you will be back to check when people are very sad. I want you to know myself leading the charge.

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I know, but I'm going to be around. I'll still be on the interweb and then people be the end of me. I'd be talking to you. Yeah.

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And we can we can always catch you on the Amber Ruffin show. Can you tell anybody else? Can you tell people the other exciting show that you're writing can but like. But you don't want to talk about it?

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Yeah. I'm just going to keep it until the end of when I work on it, I might say something, but like right now I'm just going to work on it. OK, but you got another really exciting writing job that you're in the job. I am. I'm working a lot, but now I have two full time writing jobs. That's a lot, right, from 7:00 in the morning till like four thirty in the afternoon. And also hopefully saved by the bell is going to come back.

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Oh yeah. Set by the bell is coming back. But full disclosure to everyone out there. I love you, but I will not be coming back to say by the bell because the schedule doesn't work out for the job I have now.

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The new job or Amber Ruffin job. Oh, the new job. So I can I can do everything.

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Turns out right on every show. You can hear everything.

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I can't do everything. So like I won't be back like right now. I don't think so. I mean like if they wanted me to come do punch ups at the end of that season, you know, keep it open. But right now I wouldn't be able to because the schedule overlaps.

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Elizabeth Berkley texted me and she was like, I really would love to like, come on the podcast at some point.

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And I just like would love it if it was when Shinta is there because.

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I was like, OK, yes, I love that she's the greatest. She is the nicest, nicest person. And we chat via Instagram sometimes. She's so nice. This is not nice. Elizabeth Berkley is like the nicest, literally the nicest. I don't know what the equivalent to improv is anybody else. But like anybody, you know, in your life who's ever done local theater that you did not want to go to and has invited you, this is how nice Elizabeth Berkley is, because I brought up that I did improv.

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This is before the panini. And she was like, help me win and I will come. And I was like, you don't have to do that because improv is your Elizabeth Berkley. You don't have to come watch my music. And probably she was like, that sounds fun. I want to come. Gave me her phone number and demanded me tell her and then the panini happened. But the thing is, she's so nice she would go see local improv.

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That's she would.

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I love that. But also I'm sure she just really liked you.

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Yeah, she really liked you. And she's so nice, genuinely sweet person. We met through mutual friends years ago. We go to the same specialist in L.A. We would see each other at the palace from time to time. Every time I ran into her, like, seriously, every time I run into her, I just adore her. And she's so nice.

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A lovely, lovely, wonderful human. So guys, so that's we can't exactly tell you.

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What job Shinjiro is doing, you'll find out someday, you'll find out someday. You keep watching her social media and and keep watching Amber Ruffins show and keep following on Insta.

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And we're going to we're lining up some guest co-hosts that are going to be stepping in from time to time.

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And then and then like we're just going to do we're going to we're going to play it like Kelly Ripa when Michael Strahan left and just like revolve the revolving door.

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Oh, they did. And I guess they also did that when. Whoever left like Regius, right? Oh, you do it. You just left. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They did a bunch of has had to do it quite often.

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If they didn't win when I think when Kathie Lee left Regis.

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Yes. They did it say first language passionately left.

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This is essentially guys what we're saying is that this is our show is the equivalent to live the exact same exact same thing, the exact same show.

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And in this scenario. I guess.

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I am I Regius, no way, I'm Regis and you're Kathie Lee, and then Casey is yelling, I'm like, Oh, isn't getting my.

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But in charge of everything, the guy that stands there and annoys everyone, no matter how many charges. OK, Casey, you're meeting today or something happening, you weren't like seriously on one. What the fuck is happening? All right. What's happening? Tell us what's happening. Nothing's nothing's happened.

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Why are you annoyed at me? What did you what did I.

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What have I done? I do something that you OK, knowing that you did, you hit a wall with a normal amount of salty, you're here to back me up.

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I think she hit a wall with everything. Here's the thing. I think Gellman's in charge of everything and makes a lot of money. I think you're. I don't know if I'm Kelly. I feel like I might be. Honestly, I feel more like. What's his name from American Idol. What's his name? Ryan Seacrest. Ryan Seacrest.

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You are Ryan Seacrest because you have four thousand jobs. Because I have four thousand jobs. Right. And I had a decent shoe game. Yeah, that's.

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And you and your your Seacrest because you're like, not only am I doing this like on camera jobs, Barb Starr star, but I'm also behind the scenes. American Idol.

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Do you sing The Shores of Sunset.

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Wait, now I'm conflating all of the things. But then also I'm doing the thing that like is my my technical talent, i.e. your writing on multiple shows, i.e. he hosts multiple things, multiple shows.

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You are your Seacrest, you're full of some crazy crap. You go, I'm a full blown Seacrest baby and I hear the other guy's name. I am a Kelly Ripa because I think we are yeah.

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I'm an actress who likes to host things. She's been doing it since she was a teenager.

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Just saying that either of you ever do any soap opera stuff.

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I auditioned for a soap opera. Hmm, I got one, I didn't get it. Which one, which one? No, I don't know. I don't remember. It was bad. It was back before I got Freaks and Geeks. It was like one of my first auditions. I auditioned for a soap opera.

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My very first audition ever was for the Angelina Jolie movie Girl interrupted. Whoa. Oh, yeah. Who are you supposed to be?

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I auditioned for the part that Elizabeth Moss played, the girl who they weren't OK.

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I don't remember her because I just remember Wenonah and then I remember our IP, Brittany Murphy and then Angelina. Those are the three that I remember the most from that movie.

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Elizabeth Moss was like a small supporting role in it, and she was like the girl that had burns all over her face or something like that.

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But like not right now. It's not really twenty, twenty one. I'm not really in the mood for girl.

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Yeah, I'm not either. Yeah. It's not, it's, it's a little I might just go a little too dark. Do you guys ever do that.

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Whenever you think about a movie like I don't watch this but I'll just go read the Wikipedia every day lately I feel like.

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Do you know how like when you have like a sensitive stomach and you look in the fridge and you're like, better not eat that. Better not. Yeah, that's how I am with entertainment right now. I like just look at the menu and I'm like, oh, I can't have that right now. Nope, nope.

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That's not going to work for me. So very like sensitive toward entertainment and that's how I feel.

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This is why I don't watch reality TV, because it makes me. It makes my stomach. It makes me to. Yeah, I don't like it. And that's why I only watch blown away like it has to be very low stakes right now is watching the Joker for work. And I was like, you got to watch that by itself.

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I never going to be in a place to watch that. I'm not I don't think I never saw the Joker, but I also just feel.

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Like, you wouldn't fuckin stand for that movie anyway, like I just feel like I would know I have no interest in this bullshit.

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I just like I mean, I also got the idea just from I get it in the Batman movies, but I also know, like, have you ever seen, like, the the the tent of a movie, like the whatever the filter of that is like I was like emotionally I'm not in a place to watch that filter for two hours.

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Like, I don't know that it's you're like me and not my vibe.

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So whenever he was coming down the stairs, I was like, that filter looks like it's gonna make me upset.

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So I did not want that's what I feel about the Joker also. Do not come at me Joker. He want to Oscar leave me alone. Yeah.

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I mean I'm not interested. It's also it's also kind of the king of comedy.

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Right. So it's like very the Joker is very similar to the king of comedy.

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What's the king of comedy and. The king of comedy is a really old movie about a guy who aspires to be a talk show host, son Sandra Bernhard was in it and he just sort of like cracks up and. Yeah, it's basically the Joker, but it's just about a guy who aspires to be a late night talk show hosts kind of who directed The Joker, is it Darren Aronofsky?

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Did he direct it? No, it's the guy who did The Hangover. It's a hangover. Yeah, both. Both like very serious, annoying white guys. Yes. But I can't remember what he was.

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I just remember that, like, he was, like, really mad. He was like, I can't do hangovers anymore because comedy's changed and that sucks. And I was like, well, you could do a hangover and you could just adjust your comedy just the way that society, something society respects now. But I guess go off. And then he made the joke and now he's more successful than ever. So it doesn't matter. Not if you're a white dude.

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No, no way. It's generally that that I like like we're always going to talk about fucking stupid talk. Phillips. I really I do love blown away. I love this glassblowing show. Check it out first.

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I want to watch it first. Even that one the for me Santero really the first season nights because because it ends the way I think everybody wanted to.

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That's why I like the first. Yeah. But like I really like blown away and then Barbara Starr is really good. And then I watch the, the, the, the GenZE. What's the fucking all the boys I love before always and forever. The third installment of that movie. I watched it yesterday.

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And you know what? It was good. It was good enough for three installments of that. Yes.

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I feel like the first one was just like a month ago. I thought that it took longer for them to come out. But you're right, the last one came out like last year. People liked it so much, they really turned it out. Did I tell you guys about how I thought that?

[00:27:13]

Well. How I thought that the Tiger Woods documentary was about. That was a serial killer documentary, did I did I talk about that? No, but like I did. People didn't really explain a lot about it either. They were just like Tiger. And I was like, what's this about?

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And OK, I know basically what happened is that I don't like watching at this point in my life. I have I I'm like U.S.A. like, I won't watch things that are scary, that are upsetting unnecessarily.

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Like, I don't just want something nice. Yeah. I don't want to put, like, bad ideas, thoughts. I don't want the images from crime scenes in my brain. You don't want to watch that shit anymore. I watched a lot of it like in my twenties and maybe. Yeah, early on.

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I think we've all had a S.V.. You run.

[00:28:07]

Yes. I mean, I. You run. I do. About this where Emily Beeby at one point came home from work when we were living together and she was like, you have to stop watching S.V., you know, cry.

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And she was like, because you like like you're like losing your shit.

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And I guess I had, like, gone for a walk with Henry, our dog, that we shared our IP Henry and and I was in my head thinking about all the DNA that I could leave behind if I got snatched.

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And I shared that with Emily. I was like I just thought, like I could, like, scratch my nails on the ground and you would. And she's like, what the fuck?

[00:28:50]

You have to stop watching espere Bayway. So but also say you're not wrong. Yeah, it's good to think like that. You have to say, I feel like everybody's done it. It's like, how would I escape this train? Like we've all done it like I got.

[00:29:08]

Have you guys I told you about the pole in the twist from. But I learned many years ago on I think it was on Oprah.

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I'm not even getting anyway the point being, Mark, because he's like whatever dude in his 40s does enjoy still watching those fucking shows. Yeah. And there's a new documentary about. A song killer in L.A., the stalker or something, that sounds right. Yeah, that's right.

[00:29:38]

Yeah, OK. Yeah. Anyway, he watches it when I'm like not around I. Had come home this I was still working. Oh, yeah, because I was working a lot, that's just recently that I stopped working. I came home. I walked into the bedroom and I was like he was and he had gone up to check on one of the kids, so but I walk into the bedroom and I was like, oh, my God, he has the Night Stalker documentary is on.

[00:30:04]

Oh, fuck. And no, I was like also kind of curious, you know, because I do have that curiosity.

[00:30:11]

Right, a little bit like.

[00:30:13]

Yeah, but advice I've gotten from someone in this zone once. You know, you can I know you can never.

[00:30:19]

I know it's true. Never once did OK. But I did I was like I was taking my jewelry off. I was like getting ready for bed. And I was like, I'm just going to leave it on. I'm going to see what happens. Right. Because I am also kind of curious because it took place in L.A. and this guy is like, yeah, music super creepy. And this guy's talking and he's like and he would just he would just always have like a new beautiful girl and he would take her out onto the green and he would be teaching her.

[00:30:46]

And then afterwards they would go into his RV for Cochino.

[00:30:52]

And I was like, oh, that sounds so creepy. That's so creepy. And then the guy's like, and I mean, Tiger was always there.

[00:30:59]

He was always there. And I was like, wait, wait, wait. Why was Tiger Woods around for the Night Stalker? That's so weird.

[00:31:07]

And it wasn't it wasn't at all the Tiger documentary that I thought was about. I thought they were talking about his dad being like, yeah, durang with like latex. But what I thought was it was about the Night Stalker who would take ladies to golf and then murder them. That was in my head what was happening. And I like fully, fully thought it. But can I just say that if you do watch because I replayed it, if you do watch that part, it does.

[00:31:36]

They play scary music. It does.

[00:31:39]

It does seem like they're talking about a murderer.

[00:31:43]

I mean, it just proves it's not that much difference between being like an overbearing golf dad and a serial killer.

[00:31:52]

I mean, you guys cocktails in an RV. Come on. Nobody's bull.

[00:31:59]

I would never I would never I would listen to our women friends out there. If someone invites you to have a cocktail in an RV, say, no, no, you deserve better.

[00:32:12]

No, you deserve better than to have a cocktail in an RV.

[00:32:16]

OK, it's not it's not good. OK, Casey, what are you doing your best this week?

[00:32:24]

Well, in my laundry room recording this podcast, because I have a whole entire office, but it's on the other side of the house and my neighbors are hosting some type of child screaming party.

[00:32:35]

I'm sorry I checked. It's still a pandemic.

[00:32:41]

Yeah, I don't know that I don't know that it is for them, I feel like they they've been more relaxed about it than than I might have been, but I don't know I don't know their business.

[00:32:54]

They have kids, whatever. So anyway, I'm on the side of the house in the laundry room where our neighbor on the other side is like a 98 year old lady and she's very quiet.

[00:33:04]

So that's what I'm doing. What am I doing? My best.

[00:33:09]

Yeah, that's not what you're doing. You're that's just your location.

[00:33:13]

That's just my location, which I mean, like, I'm glad to be located somewhere. That's that's a treat.

[00:33:20]

What am I doing? Oh, I've just been like I've been active on my local by nothing group on Facebook, which is like when you just tell people I have this, if anyone's interested in this, you can come pick it up and you know, and then other people sometimes are like, oh, I'm hoping for an ironing board, does anybody have an ironing board?

[00:33:41]

But so anyway, I gave away a bookshelf or a bathroom lighting fixture and a medicine cabinet that no longer fit our decor.

[00:33:50]

So now, first of all, I don't know what by nothing is, but it sounds like Craigslist.

[00:33:57]

But the neighborhood's not exactly that, because Craigslist is mostly like you're trying to sell things. This is just like your it's their localized groups in your neighborhood.

[00:34:09]

They have like a limited amount of members. You don't know about it because you're not on Facebook, but it happens on Facebook.

[00:34:15]

And so you can one thing that makes me laugh is that like some of the things like I every group I'm in, like a million groups and especially Facebook groups, and I stay in them for the entertainment value because like I say, in every mom group, because I just love moms being like, you know, should I throw a pool party?

[00:34:36]

And then I love seeing 100 people be like married and also the by nothing group. I hope I don't get kicked out for revealing this, but like, it's funny because so many people will be like, does anybody want this? Three quarters of a box full of macaroni, it's gluten free. I didn't see the label when I bought it and I don't like it.

[00:34:58]

So there's that that entertains me. And I always want to see who takes the three quarters of a box of macaroni. But then in this Buy Nothing group, because it's in Los Angeles, one person was like, does anyone want this full set of professional juggling swords?

[00:35:13]

And I was like, yeah, that's a good thing to give away. Yeah. I let you know what I also feel like one of the things I miss about Chicago and like even though I miss nothing about New York, I appreciate this part is allies like you can't really do that anymore.

[00:35:28]

But like in oh, I love it when they went everything when I moved from Chicago, I put a bull, I put a full futon and a full chest of drawers in an alley, went inside for lunch and they were gone when I came back outside. I fucking love that. And then I had a friend in New York. If you live in New York, this is why he hit me too. I didn't get to do it because I left, but he was like, there's so many Bujji schools.

[00:35:54]

So like, if you go to, like, lightish, when they're move on, move out day, it's just a bunch of rich parents putting out crazy fancy shit that they bought for their kids to fucking go to dish. So he would always wait to move out day at the Bujji dorms and then go to the alley. So like in L.A., we like don't you like if you want to get rid of something, you have to like call somebody, you got to wrap it up.

[00:36:18]

You can't just like. Yeah, I love it in Chicago. In New York because like you want to get rid of something nobody knows is yours. You put a couch out, everybody knows it's you. Everybody know everything all the time. So like, I really like that give-away thing because that's the thing I miss from Chicago. Like, I got rid of a couch and a bed. I did get myself a bookshelf and a chest of drawers from an alley.

[00:36:41]

It's really how you shop in your twenties. So shout out to that little group you're in because that's how well people who are missing the point.

[00:36:49]

It's like not the point is to not buy anything new that you don't need to spend money on if somebody else has it, that they just want to give it away.

[00:36:55]

Do people also request. Yes, like one lady was in the middle of baking cupcakes and she literally didn't have powdered sugar, and so she was like, if anyone can lend me four cups of powdered sugar right now, like with the whole Baesler.

[00:37:11]

Yeah, exactly. But she was she was in the middle of baking, I guess. I don't know, you know, so stuff like that. But sometimes people will be like, yeah, I need like an extra tire for my Prius if anyone has one laying around.

[00:37:23]

And not surprisingly, the amazing. Yeah, certainly people will have it one time. I will say one time I belong to one in Connecticut and my son Lincoln had a really nice cashmere sweater that he had gotten for a gift. And he just started to like want to dress nicely. And I accidentally washed it in the laundry and it shrank to like the size of me.

[00:37:48]

And I felt I felt so terrible.

[00:37:52]

And I was like, I have to tell Lincoln that I destroyed his, like, fancy sweater, his one fancy sweater.

[00:37:57]

And then that afternoon, this woman happened to be like, I got my husband a bunch of cashmere sweaters at Brooks Brothers. And he does not like them at all. Their size, medium, does anybody want them?

[00:38:07]

And I was like me, please, I'll come right out.

[00:38:09]

So I got like five brand new cashmere Brooks Brothers sweaters from someone who like it was no it was no thing to him to just hang him out on his porch. All right.

[00:38:21]

Well, I love you and into this group.

[00:38:26]

The reason the reason why I joined is because I'm looking for this very specific mid century modern like fireplace, the Swedish fire.

[00:38:33]

I know what you're talking about and. Yeah, yeah, you know, I put it on my stories because I'm like, what am I I'm I'm drunk. If I think that anyone is going to be like, hey, does anybody want this fireplace?

[00:38:44]

Because what is very popular and it's like a Swedish mallam fireplace, there's like you're you looking it up?

[00:38:52]

I'm looking it up. You'd recognize it if you saw it from like mid century modern homes.

[00:38:58]

People used to leave them out for the garbage, you know. How do you spell it, MLM? There's Mallam, there's Privé, there's fire hould, there's a bunch of different brands, but people used to just toss them out in the garbage. They're really colorful metal fireplaces and you used to be able to get one for like 50 bucks after I put that story up. Shinjiro, so many people are like, oh, I got one seven years ago for 200 dollars.

[00:39:24]

And I'm like, well, now they're three thousand.

[00:39:26]

Whoa, I can't find it too much money. So crazy waste because I keep an eye out.

[00:39:34]

You know, I love, like antique stores and like. Yes. And I like and we've been going upstate and. Well yeah it's snowy but I bet there I bet we could find one upstate. Maybe they're kind of big to ship our friend Kendra, who's your makeup artist, was also like, I'm looking for a one two four four oh.

[00:39:56]

I see there's one I know, you know, dot com for eight hundred and thirty nine dollars.

[00:40:03]

Oh yeah. That's like that's kind of like a knockoff of one. Like a modern one. I'm looking for like a vintage one. But anyway it's just part of doing that. It's like fun to look forever and then you're excited when you get it. And then like the next day you just start wanting something else.

[00:40:19]

Consumerism we love see in an alley over here, there are no alleys. Yeah, it's somebody put it in front of my building. I'll stand there and call dibs. If you see a red, orange, yellow, I would even take a green.

[00:40:36]

I don't even take a white.

[00:40:40]

Mallam fireplace from the 60s or 70s, that's you know, that's just what I'm living for at this point, but I don't think I get one on the Buy Nothing group.

[00:40:49]

So, you know, you put it into the universe and you never you never know. You never know. But I do want to join one of those groups because I often have, like, random ass free shit that I want to just. Yeah.

[00:41:03]

Get rid of like I wish.

[00:41:05]

But I if I had still lived in Hollywood, I don't know. Oh, and the book people come get it.

[00:41:15]

People come and get it. Unlike an alley like you have to put it out there and you're like I hope somebody comes, you get this, you put it on the website on that that group you can just be like be at my house at 2:00 to pick this up. I love that. I want to get rid of stuff. But what are you going to do about here? Sorry.

[00:41:34]

There were no alleys in L.A. and also just I do feel like. It's tricky to get rid of stuff sometimes. Sometimes it's hard to stuff. Well, it's hard because like you can everybody truly everybody can see you. So, like, you really got to make your. Yeah. To not throw some shit away because somebody's going to see you and then it might be there for three days. And it's like we know you put that whole fucking chest of drawers on the sidewalk.

[00:42:02]

We know it's fucking you.

[00:42:04]

So my oldest, my older son, saw a set of mid century modern like dining chairs that he was like there they have like a couple of things wrong with them that need to be fixed. So he was like, but maybe somebody is just like moving and they just have them on the sidewalk right now. But after I guess they were out there for a few days, he was like, OK, these are like for the garbage. So he took them and restored them and is like in the process of trying to sell them.

[00:42:28]

But it was like, you know, like an 800 dollar set of chairs or something. And yeah. So, you know, and then this little project and I got a little panini project for him to do.

[00:42:37]

I love this. Shintaro, what are you doing your best at this week.

[00:42:44]

I'm doing my best at kind of finishing my kind of To-Do list, I guess, like I sometimes people, friends and stuff send me the scripts and like I would like read them and give them notes and stuff. And since Presidents Day, like I have actually we finished the podcast, I have some time. So I'm going to go through like three or four of my friends' scripts and like to spin like a little afternoon giving notes and reading stuff so that my friends can hopefully, like, sell stuff and get jobs.

[00:43:15]

So I think I'm doing my best to, like, kind of paying it forward. And then my friends have read stuff for me and it's hard to sit down like just everyone knows, like when you ask someone to give you notes, this isn't this isn't like a fucking slide to my friends. But for people coming up in the industry, like when you ask someone to give you notes, like if they're good at it, they like, sit down and read your stuff and go through it with a fine tooth comb and, like, genuinely try to help you.

[00:43:41]

So it's like it's not like, oh, if you have time like nobody's I do not have time but I will find time. Yeah. For people who like you care about. So that's what I'm doing today. I'm doing my best at getting getting through and giving notes to some of my buddies. That's what I'm doing. Can I tell you something.

[00:43:58]

Yeah, I really appreciate that, especially because my husband, Mark Silverstein, who's a very accomplished screenwriter and director of the movie, I feel pretty.

[00:44:12]

He recently did that for me on a script. And I a little bit was like, hey, if you read that script yet? And he's like, no, it's going to take me a minute because I got to do it. And I was like, oh, OK, whatever, because I didn't fully understand the comprehensive situation that he was like signing himself up for, you know what I mean?

[00:44:37]

Like, I just mean, like, just tell me, like, what your thoughts are. And he literally was like he gave me such good notes that I'm like, oh shit, this is like a whole new world. And it took a lot of effort and thought and and he spent like a morning doing it.

[00:44:56]

So, yeah, it's really nice to do for your friends. Yeah.

[00:44:59]

I like one of the things that some of my mentors have taught me too, is that like, it's not going to be like you might have like really great bosses. I have thanks you guys. But it's like it's not necessarily going to be the people who are where you want to be that are pulling you up. It's like everybody to the left and right of you who you work with and you come up with. And when they get a job, then they recommend you or when like they get a job, then they tell you how you can get a job.

[00:45:25]

Like all my friends who are assistants got their jobs from friends who were assistants. It's like a little bit of nepotism, but it doesn't usually lead to matters. Right. And it's like that's how you get like it's not just that. Like, I got my job. I like the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago through some friends. So it's like you read your friends work and then they read your work and then that's how you can recommend them.

[00:45:47]

First of all, for sure, it is great.

[00:45:50]

Also, you guys, an hour long drama. Did you have no idea how much fucking work goes into writing like a Grey's Anatomy and find out 80 pages of stuff?

[00:46:01]

So like, if somebody is like, oh, you are, will you read my script? And it's like a fucking episode of the good place. Like Cool, that's like thirty pages. You could do it as long as it takes you to watch an episode of TV. That's how long it's going to take you to read their episode of TV and then get give notes. OK, so like cut your friend some slack if you sit them an hour long drama.

[00:46:24]

I didn't send Mark an hour long drama.

[00:46:27]

Just FYI, they're so hard shout out to people who do that because I, I do not. That's not my ministry. No, I've never been my calling either. But it's also it's Shinta.

[00:46:41]

I was just talking to my friend Corey Harington about this. She's she doesn't work in TV. She's she's the lingerie addict. You might know her from online. She has books and stuff about lingerie. She's a lingerie store. Very well.

[00:46:53]

We were Tachira. Yeah, she's she's amazing. But we were just talking about sometimes what like when people are asking for notes. I was saying that I like to clarify what they're really hoping to get. They want you. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Like do you just want me to tell you like that you did a good job and like keep at it or do you want like a line by line break down. Because sometimes I feel sometimes I've done the line by line break down and given it back to people in there like a you know, oh you just wanted me to say good job.

[00:47:26]

Yeah. For finishing. For finishing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:47:30]

There's this guy who I. Went to high school with it's actually very strange, but whatever, it doesn't even matter.

[00:47:38]

A guy that I went to high school with got my email from a mutual friend and asked if he could send me something to like I. I was just like very unclear about the whole transaction. I did respond because I was just like, OK, fine, you can send me this thing for me to look at. And then he's like followed up every other day since it was like delivered to my house.

[00:48:03]

No, no, no. In and of itself intense.

[00:48:07]

And yeah, I just been politely ignoring the emails as they come in because like a calm down and also like, no, OK, calm down. But I this morning.

[00:48:25]

It was like it's actually interesting because, like Mark did did read the script for me over the weekend and gave me these notes and like I was going over it with my writing partner and like the girl that I'm writing this pilot with. And and I was like, you know what?

[00:48:40]

You know what to do. I know what I'm gonna do. I can't take these fuckin emails every other day from this guy. It's been a week, you know. So I'm like I wrote back and I was like, just to clarify, what is it that you're looking for in terms of feedback? Like, I just wanted you to know I did get the thing safely. Thank you for sending. Just need to clarify, what is it that you're looking for from me specifically in terms of feedback?

[00:49:08]

For you to take next steps, because he was like, I'm very excited to take next steps and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. OK, what are your next steps? Yeah. What's happening here? Yeah. What are we talking about? Because, like, if you don't even know what conversation you're having with somebody like Ryan, you have no fucking clue. Like what? You know, what are we doing anyway.

[00:49:27]

I felt really good about it and he did respond. But I'm not I haven't read it yet. So we'll see.

[00:49:33]

I mean, I think that this especially for the industry, but like I had someone who asked me to if if I would connect them with my my reps and like, I love my reps and I don't just send them shit willy nilly, like, send me your sample. And because, like, if it's really, really good, then I'll send it to because also, like, I'm not trying to embarrass myself being like, hey, people who thought that I was good enough to represent this is my taste.

[00:50:08]

What do you want to represent? Right. And I was like, hey, I don't usually do this, but will you send me your sample cricket?

[00:50:15]

It's been over a year. Has got to hear from them yet. So like people, I find we talk about notes and specificity. So many people think that, like, when people are like, oh, I want to have coffee with you, oh, will you read this? They don't want actual feedback. They don't want notes. They want you to give them a shortcut to what you have. And.

[00:50:37]

Right. It's very that coffee is not a shortcut to a writing job. Picking my brain is not a shortcut to a writing job. And I think that that is what a lot of times people will be like. I want to pick your brain and I'll be like, OK, like what? I can tell you what I did. But you can listen to a thousand podcasts and already know what the fuck I did write to where I am.

[00:51:00]

So like, if you are going to reach out to someone for notes for help, you got to be able to back that shit up. You want somebody to introduce you to their agent. Where's your sample? You want somebody to give you notes for what do you want to joke? Punch up. Do you want me to tell you where is good? Do you want me to just tell you congratulations. Are you finished? Yeah. Our our area of work.

[00:51:27]

Is this right.

[00:51:28]

Like we all work in this field and. Yeah, but this is not a unique situation. People get asked all the time and this is universal and looking for like a career change.

[00:51:39]

Can I pick your brain. Can I do this. Can I do that.

[00:51:42]

And what you said, this is one of the many reasons chantrey why we're going to miss you so intensely on this podcast. But what you said, like coffee, is not like a shortcut for you getting the career that I had.

[00:51:58]

Yeah. You have to, like, come in with something.

[00:52:01]

You have to bring something and you have to tell me exactly what it is that you're hoping to get from this. If I'm going to give you my time and my energy and my expertise and whatever and build it.

[00:52:12]

And that's not a high level. It's not a Hollywood break. Right. If you want to be a teacher, if you want to be a scientist, people's time is really precious. Also, like I say this, too, like not that other jobs are more important, but like you're going to talk to a teacher, they're like working their ass off already. They're already doing stuff out. So like I think about like how much you make an hour.

[00:52:34]

Right. Not to be a dick, but like what they're doing is they're giving up an hour of whatever they do to make money or to relax. Those are the two things people are doing that either have extra time to figure out a way to make money from it, or they use that extra time to, like, decompress, to heal, to rest. Right. So if you're asking somebody for their time, like, think about what you're asking.

[00:53:01]

If you're asking a mom with three kids if you can have coffee with her and all you want her to do is give you a job, fucking send an email and ask for a job because that our manpower is so much like it's not just the hours, the getting there, it's to talking to other people, telling them that you're not going to be available because you're doing this thing. So I think that like.

[00:53:21]

No, whether or not you want advice or whether you want a shortcut, because I'll tell you right now, I know people who are pretty high up. It's really fucking hard to get a shortcut no matter what it is like. Your dad's got to own some shit.

[00:53:35]

Like I I've never had a shortcut.

[00:53:38]

I we don't have after all the years that we've all been doing this, we there's no shortcuts, no shortcuts. Still for sure.

[00:53:45]

We're still auditioning, we're still trying out for cheerleading every day, you know, and waiting to hear if your name's on the bulletin board.

[00:53:54]

I mean it's simple when I.

[00:53:57]

Yeah, exactly. When I was when I was very young, when I was first starting out before I was a staff writer, I signed up for a TV writing. Horse at the new school with somebody that had, like, written on a sitcom that I liked when I was a kid or whatever, and between when I signed up and when the class actually started, I was made a staff writer at The Rosie O'Donnell Show and so on. The first class, like they went around and were like, what do you do?

[00:54:28]

And I was like, oh, I work on a TV show and, you know, and the teacher was like, oh, what show do you work on? What do you do there? And I was like, well, actually it just got made a writer like two days ago or whatever. And then at the end of class he was like, Can you hook me up?

[00:54:42]

And Oh yes. No, no. I think people think that we have the hook that I'ma tell you right now. I know.

[00:54:51]

Look, I got no hook up, but I think that that's the thing to like my one of my mentors said that this is just writing. He was like, everybody wants to be a writer, but nobody wants to write. And I think you can substitute anything for writing and that, you know what? Everybody wants to be a doctor, but nobody wants to do the fuckin dissertation. You know, the doctoring.

[00:55:11]

Yeah. So I think and I think like any entertainment a little hard because it's like other things, like nobody is like, you know, I'm thinking of getting into doctoring. Can I pick your brain about doctoring, like try to do it tomorrow. Like everybody understands that there's a certain amount of schooling and tests have to be passed. But in entertainment, that's not necessarily the way like you just you do independent work and like build your reputation on your own.

[00:55:38]

And that's sort of like there is no like degree. There is no test where you're, like, admitted into like breaking into television.

[00:55:46]

So I think that that's so many know that. What are you doing licensed yet? You don't have to license Hollywood writers. Oh, shit.

[00:56:01]

Well, now I understand. Yeah. Oh, yes.

[00:56:06]

I got a I got to write the write this this train. No, but you know, so it is but it's also kind of weird to like I've had people, you know, when I've been like doing this.

[00:56:17]

You know, 20, 30 years and people are like, oh, I'm I'm thinking of getting into that and I'm like, oh, you're thinking of getting into it. OK, well, I think that's when going to start. This is the only. It's so interesting. Art is like hard and art is the only thing. Will somebody will like watch one thing and be like, I could do that. And it's like you can but it's not fucking Eddie Murphy.

[00:56:42]

Like people will like Rashwan stand up and be like I, I am Eddie Murphy. And it's like, no, you're not like that. That's like that's like watching a few good men and being like, I could be a lawyer. I'm ready. I know. But Cantera, is it also like the year I was on E.R. where I really thought I could intubate someone?

[00:57:06]

You could try.

[00:57:07]

Don't take that away from me. You know what I mean? I want you can you can. I mean, you can intubate somebody. Is it going well? Oh, well, who can that?

[00:57:17]

I mean, I it is it's like it is a it's like a very common thing, but also like I don't know like that people think that people see art and they think that they should be able to do it.

[00:57:32]

But it is fucking hard. Yeah. And it is hard. I always like why would you want to do anything if you can't?

[00:57:42]

I if I wish I wanted to do something else. And not that other careers aren't hard to do, like my a fucking public defender.

[00:57:52]

She went to law school. She worked really hard. But I feel like if I wanted to be a lawyer, I could like there's like a path. I think this like, oh, you go to law school, you take this path. There is no path to this.

[00:58:05]

Like people go to UCLA and get fucking bachelor's degrees in screenwriting all the time and then they don't get it. There is no right way to do it. Right. So that's why it's. So people are always looking for a shortcut, because if you want to be a teacher, it's not easy.

[00:58:19]

But you know what to sign up for, what to learn, what certificates to get. There is no certificate to like book a speaking role.

[00:58:29]

And in a pilot there just now is nothing. And if you talk to every if you talk to everybody on your favorite show, if you went down the line of everybody in the cast of Grey's Anatomy, you're going to get a different fucking story about how they got there. It's all going to there is no book for it.

[00:58:47]

So it you your speaking of. I ran into Katie Heigel, Katherine High.

[00:58:53]

OK, I always called her Katie Rosewell years. I go, yeah, I was. Yes, exactly. Because college was my boyfriend when I was on Freaks and Geeks and he was on Rosewell with Katie.

[00:59:07]

With Katie Heigl. Yeah. And I ran into her at the Starbucks like near my old apartment that I shared with Emily Beeby around the time when I was obsessed with S.B.

[00:59:15]

You, Henry was probably with me and and I had just seen the first commercial for Grey's Anatomy was coming out that summer. And they use this like Postal Service song. And I was like, oh, this looks so good.

[00:59:30]

And I was like, oh, my God, hi. It's so good to see you. I just saw the preview for your new show. That show looks so good. And she's like, oh, I mean, you know, who knows?

[00:59:40]

Who fucking knows? Busy.

[00:59:42]

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. But still, it looks really good. I'm watching it and she's like, oh, thanks. That's so sweet. Yeah. I mean it's we, it's good. We did like thirteen.

[00:59:51]

We'll see. You know, you know how it is like. Yeah I know. But like that's what you are constantly going into every fucking job with that feeling when you're an artist of just like yeah.

[01:00:06]

I mean I like it but we'll see it.

[01:00:09]

We'll just see. Yeah. We don't know. There's a lot of extenuating circumstances. It's possible that the cereal company are going to pull all of their ad sales, you know. Yeah.

[01:00:20]

And then we just you can't tell. And that's the thing. And that show, especially season one or two, that was some fucking some of the best television I have ever seen. And if you're working like it's one of those things where you're like this might be the best thing ever, but that don't mean shit. That's why I like how they were break out. It's really hard. So if your kid wants to be an artist, like, that's just hard.

[01:00:41]

It like you might want to push him to be a doctor or lawyer. But either way, they're going to be working hard and probably not making any money. So cut him some slack.

[01:00:51]

Right. But here's what I have to say about you.

[01:00:54]

And this is like this comes back to like the theme of today's show, which is that you are taking a hiatus from our show because you have these other jobs, which is like your primary focus in the entertainment industry and you really want to do a good job.

[01:01:08]

And and I'm I'm like constantly impressed.

[01:01:13]

One thing I'm constantly impressed by is your ability to, like, set boundaries for yourself, like it's not yet to the point where it's like probably overwhelming and like you feel frazzled.

[01:01:27]

But I have never. Done that. Yeah, yes, I did. How do you do? How do you do that? Well, the first thing you do is, you know, what it feels like when you don't do it. I think that is what happened the first time for me, truly. And I think that a lot of people don't give teenagers enough slack. The first time I felt truly overwhelmed and exhausted was high school. I was in the band.

[01:01:55]

I was in basketball, I, I had five AP classes and I was at school from like 7:00 in the morning until like nine o'clock at night. And like that was just regular. I think a lot of kids, children have schedules like that.

[01:02:09]

They go to school and then they want to go to a good college. And then they got right now Shantaram. Not right now.

[01:02:16]

Well, even on Zoome school, like it's hard, but like, I just was like literally I was like, OK, I get up, do all my homework, do homework during lunch, go to basketball practice and go to band rehearsal, then go home and do the rest of my homework and then go to bed at like 11 o'clock. And I did that for like three years. And that was one thing where, like, there was no boundaries set.

[01:02:37]

Like I needed those extra three games, I needed those classes.

[01:02:40]

And then I got to college and I was like, oh, I need to read this book by next Thursday, not tomorrow.

[01:02:48]

Like that was the first time I was like, wait a bit, wait a minute, wait a minute. We only meet twice a week and we can get all this done.

[01:02:55]

What the fuck was my high school? They prepared me very much so. But I feel like when people go to college are either overprepared or like not prepared. I was very overprepared.

[01:03:07]

We have a giant plane, ultrasound, ultrasound going by in my apartment, maybe a helicopter. Sometimes it's Presidents Day. They get a vibe. They want to drive a helicopter and fly back up. But I was like I was like, oh, like, this is how you can, like, really set yourself up for success. Like, oh, on Tuesdays and Thursdays my schedule was like this. So like it was really like when I was able to start setting a schedule.

[01:03:34]

But it that's how you figure it out when you do something where you're so fucking tired.

[01:03:39]

Like last week I did four days in a row where I work twelve hours straight like that was I was like, I'm literally not capable of doing this without being really tired and kind of sad. Yeah.

[01:03:54]

I think especially during like work from home, we've all been sort of like gaslighting ourselves a little bit too, because like I recently like, OK, so working on the podcast, doing this job that I've been doing and then like I have like a a regular side gig that I spend a couple hours on every day that pulls in like a small amount of steady money that I really rely on.

[01:04:17]

And so, like. I got to a point where I was like physically shaking and my husband was like, what is happening with you? And I was like, I don't know. Like I just I'm shaking. Like, I feel like I'm having, like, a trauma response. And he was like, well, let's go back to, like, what did you do today? And I was like, well, I woke up at six, 45 and I opened my laptop and I started working.

[01:04:41]

And then I'm just like I cut to like the math is that I was working from like six, 45 in the morning till like 11:00 or midnight.

[01:04:50]

Yeah. And I had been doing that for like seven days in a row. And, you know, and he was like, I mean, you know, because there's no demarcation of like what the beginning of your day is and what the end of your day is.

[01:05:03]

I think you're just working around the clock until you collapse.

[01:05:06]

And so, like, of course, you're shaking even as somebody who has actually entered back into like a legit workspace, which I'm done with now because of the zoom, because of like how the world's changed.

[01:05:21]

What was expected of me during the shooting of Girls by Eva was both.

[01:05:27]

I was like, that's like like that's the thing that's like that. And it's also what you're saying. You see, it's like this job, that job, this job. And same with U.S.A. You're like taking multiple jobs because people are like, oh, you can't you don't have to, like, go to a place called a player. Yeah. So you can actually be on the writing staff of multiple shows. But like, I can do this, but should you like is that the best thing for you.

[01:05:52]

Like shooting a 12 hour day on girls five and then having to record or even if it by the way, even if it was like even if I was only there for, let's say, seven, six hours.

[01:06:04]

Seven hours. Yeah. And then coming home and having to be a parent because that's a lot.

[01:06:11]

And then having to do the podcast or having to have calls about other things or whatever, whatever, we all signed up for so much shit. And I think that like in the beginning of the of the lockdown, in the quarantine, we were all like, we're going to rethink everything. We're going to prioritize. And literally none of us have done that at all.

[01:06:29]

Like, yeah, I know. Are working more than ever. Well, it's actually they're getting more productivity from us because there is no commute time.

[01:06:39]

So, like, literally you could just get up and start and then just keep going. Like you're saying, there is no demarcation of time. So what do we do?

[01:06:49]

I, I mean, we use take a moment and you see what is it serving you right now? And then you remove it or you remove yourself from it. And I think that that's really hard because we're all like very kind and good people, which is like usually why people hire you because they know you're really good workers and you're really kind of good. But like, you also have to really listen to your body and realize, like, OK, when I finish today, I'm so tired.

[01:07:15]

I'm so exhausted. What brought me to this place and see what you have to do to either make it less often or because, like, I'm really fortunate because I just got a rabbit, you know what I mean? Like, people got it, like shout out to all the parents because, like, me and my girlfriend were just saying, like, we got a rabbit and we'd be tired.

[01:07:36]

I can't imagine just being like three kids, two dogs, a turtle and having full time jobs that I can I don't know how people do it so that props to everybody. But like I call, I just my friend Trista Miller, who was my co-star on Cougar Town on one of my last days of filming Girls five, I have like a little bit of a break. And she and I, Kristen, I have been playing phone tag for what I tell you, almost three months.

[01:08:03]

Like, that's not an exaggeration. We've been trying to connect for almost three months. We've been texting, but like trying to speak to each other. And I called her and she was like, you know, doing whatever. Christa when we were doing Cougar Town, Christa had has she has three kids. They were the youngest when we started doing Cougar Town.

[01:08:28]

Henry, I want to say he was like.

[01:08:31]

Four is she's a little bit older. Yeah, he's definitely older than Bertie, but I think he was around four.

[01:08:38]

So whatever, she had three kids and then we did that show for six years. And I was like, I have to tell you. The amount of new respect I have for you in terms of like being the parent of actual children, doing a TV show that we were working such long days, four days on, as opposed to like I was the parent of babies, and I thought that was really hard.

[01:09:07]

But what I didn't understand is like the emotional need of kids and like preteens and teenagers or whatever is so much greater that when you get home at 10, 30 at night and after a long day of work and you have toddlers, somebody else has put them to sleep and there and you go in and look at them and they're like fucking angels.

[01:09:29]

And you're like, oh, so sweet. You get home and you have seven and a half year old and then a 12 and a half year old.

[01:09:38]

They're waiting for you at the door to tell you 45000 things.

[01:09:45]

They have to, like, pay attention to fix, like come up with a solution for like whatever, whatever. It's just so much is asked.

[01:09:55]

So much more is asked of you as a working parent, as your kids get older.

[01:10:00]

And I had no idea when we were doing that show.

[01:10:02]

And I and Krista used to take these lunchtime naps and I always like was like a little irony about the lunchtime naps, like, oh yeah.

[01:10:11]

You know, you really need your fucking sleep. OK, babe, you know, like I got it.

[01:10:15]

And now I'm like lunchtime naps were like the only time she maybe ever slept.

[01:10:22]

I was like, yeah, good lord, you needed those. I I've been laying down you to take a little nap. Busy, busy tonight.

[01:10:32]

You said I did two shows you would take a little nap between. You know, it's interesting. I was talking to a single mom friend because I was saying that like, oh, my gosh, I keep thinking of my friends who are single moms during all of this, and they're working and trying to do everything themselves. But you know what she told me? She said, actually, I've been thinking of my married mom for.

[01:10:54]

Yes, because when you're in a partnership, you have to talk everything over and reach a mutual decision and, like, take each other's feelings.

[01:11:05]

And she was like, I'm just the boss. Like, I just say what's happening with my kids? And that's it. That's what's happening, you know? So on the one hand, while you don't have anyone to help you out, you also don't have anyone, I guess, like taking up your time junior year.

[01:11:20]

Oh, well, I do.

[01:11:24]

But also I would say that, like, I have a different experience and in my own home in which Mark and I dealt with the disparity between our domestic duties before the pandemic, and he is really, really, really fucking hands on with the kids in a way that like sometimes I'm like, wait, what are they doing?

[01:11:46]

What's the I don't know.

[01:11:48]

I literally don't know how to log into the like homework portal thing anyway.

[01:11:53]

Yeah, I was the same. Yeah.

[01:11:56]

But so many we know, just like statistically and like people have done that during this pandemic. Working parents, there's been a huge despair. Moms are the ones that have been taking on the additional labor of the home schooling and all that stuff.

[01:12:12]

And the dads have sort of been like, yeah, so you got this. I am going to be in my room.

[01:12:15]

I got to work. And it's like, well, your work is more important than the work that I'm doing at my job. But also now I'm doing the schooling the kids and feeding them an extra job.

[01:12:25]

I don't I don't have that particular set of issues here because I take care of that long ago.

[01:12:33]

That's really lucky, because to have like any you know, there's all kinds of families. But to have any type of family where both people are like taking an approach to have like some type of equality of labor in the house, it's very lucky.

[01:12:48]

Yeah. That's why people are getting divorced last year, baby. I think too, like just being the boss, like you have to wish I said is like very interesting to me because I know that kids do that. They'll be like this s dad, like, you know what I mean? They like, try to divide and conquer. So just like that. Yeah. So let's ask somebody else, like that's it's like. Oh, so I think that that could be very helpful.

[01:13:11]

No divide and conquer. So shout out to her to being like I'm the boss.

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Yes. In the future when Elizabeth Berkley comes on.

[01:19:27]

Yes. I think I just want to know if you have any interesting pivot stories of your own that you would like to share. Yeah, I mean, I think there's two the main one was I did work in news and I thought I was going to be a news anchor. I was like I went to school for it, interned at a news station, got a job at a news station. And I was working at one when I realized that that was not the job for me.

[01:19:53]

And I think we talked about this before. But what is a time where it's like people will be like, oh, well, you already started your law degree, so finish. You don't want to waste those two years. And it's like, oh, but like, if you finish now you've wasted for six years or you become a lawyer in the US that whole career time, or it's like, you know what I mean. People will be like, we'll just go to school, finish a degree because you're three years in, you don't want to waste any more time.

[01:20:20]

And it's like, oh yeah. But like if you go for another year, you wasted, you wasted four years instead of three. So I was like, I don't feel like this experience of me working at this new station was a waste.

[01:20:32]

It was a really great way for me to know definitively that this is not what I want to do. And I knowing what you want to do is great, but knowing what you don't want to do is very important as well.

[01:20:44]

I've got to fuck another job, another goddamn job. So are we ever going to find someone with as many jobs as Sentara? I'll give you back. I'm coming back. We want so. So I did not say I'm sorry I quit that job because they were also promoting me. They were like, we want to promote you. And I was like, you're going to promote me and I'm going to be stuck doing this thing that I'm kind of good at, but I really fucking really hate.

[01:21:09]

So I quit and then I ended up going to Chicago to study comedy. And that was the biggest pivot for me outside of college, was like just being like I'm moving to a new city. I'm going to go do this thing that nobody at home knows what it is, because even if I don't like it, then I have to find out. So I think that that is OK, too. So that was my biggest pivot, was quitting a sure thing?

[01:21:33]

Like I had a job full time nowhere. It's petechiae, but I knew that I would hate it. So that was the first kind of big pivot is moving to Chicago. The other big pivot for me was right before I got busy tonight, right before I started working with you guys. My first TV job ever was on a show called Fifty Central on Betty, which nobody's ever heard of as a show created by the one and only Curtis 50 Cent Jackson.

[01:22:01]

It was a sketch show. I moved to New York to do it and it was six weeks long. That's another thing, too, like getting a writing gig. Like if you know someone who is in this industry, like this is a gig economy for sure, like you get one writing job and if that show gets canceled after a year, all those people have to find other jobs. Like it's not like the WRGA is like here is supplemental income until you find another job.

[01:22:26]

That's not how the union was. Right. That's very helpful, obviously, at a lot of ways. But they're not just giving you money. When your job's over, you have to find another job. They're not match making it to another job.

[01:22:38]

So I did six weeks in New York and then I did not get another television job for a year. So from September of twenty, seventeen until September of twenty eighteen, we started busy tonight. I did not I couldn't get a writing job. So I decided that two things. I've always been like a very responsible person, like I talked about this before, like I've always kind of been treated like an adult, always taking care of myself. My parents never gave me any money.

[01:23:08]

I always pay my rent, did what I had to do and I literally just like didn't have any money and was not going to find the job. So I moved back home. So I moved home to Tallahassee, Florida. Also, I really did not like New York. It made me so sad. So a big pivot is knowing that even if a city is one of the most amazing places in the world, it might not be an amazing place for you.

[01:23:31]

Like, I know that New York is full of art and culture and it's amazing, but I do not like it there. And I was not going to stay there because other people thought New York was cool. And I think people do that, too.

[01:23:44]

They'll be like, well, this city is supposed to be like this. And I was like, oh, it shouldn't be hard. Like, you should enjoy yourself. If it's so hard that you hate it, then like I'm really fortunate that I could go home. So then I moved back home to Tallahassee and I decided to re-evaluate. And then I decided to use my skill set, which was teach improv. So for ten months from like from January of twenty eighteen to like I came back to L.A. in twenty eighteen in September, I taught improv workshops all over the country and then I just couch surfed.

[01:24:25]

Oh I kotzer for like almost a year and it was really hard for me.

[01:24:30]

I like really cried about it because I always told my friends I was like a. You ever need somewhere to stay, you can stay with me, and I really genuinely meant it, but like I wasn't going to be, I just like didn't have any money and I didn't have any I wanted to make money, but like, I literally, like, was the first time I actually asked my friends for help.

[01:24:51]

And I was like, I'm going to be in New York for this gig for two weeks. Can I stay with you? I'm going to be in L.A. for a week. Can I stay with you? I'm going to be in Chicago for a week. Can I stay with you? And it really was life changing because I had spent my whole life doing everything for myself. And all my friends were like, oh, my God, I can't believe you asked to stay with me.

[01:25:13]

And I was like, well, you're the best. And they were like, no, but like you have you're always so put together. You always take care of everything yourself.

[01:25:20]

So when you told me that you want to come stay with me for a week, like I got so excited and I like, got to meet all of my friends, like in a new way and like spend a week with them. Like I like my friend Laurie, who I'd known for like almost a decade. I'd never like had breakfast with her four days in a row. My friend Maggie, my friend Maggie, we lived in New York together in a studio apartment.

[01:25:48]

And we just like walk to Trader Joe's and like ate lunch together and watch movies that night. And like, I never done that before. My friend Bradley, I thought I made pickles for you. Busy. I thought my family for me. Yeah.

[01:26:01]

And they Bradley and we just, like, walked into Dr. Prosper's Prospect Park. So I like the biggest pivot for me was like I could I could be in control, like I didn't have a job. And like, so much of my identity was like being able to take care of myself, never asking for help ever.

[01:26:22]

And then, like, working and like all of those things, like I couldn't find a job, I did not have an apartment and I did not I was not going to get either of those things in the next few months, like, I just literally couldn't afford to do it. So the biggest pivot came in twenty eighteen when, like, I went all over the country and I stayed with a bunch of people that I really cared about and taught improv.

[01:26:50]

And, and then when I finally got to a point where I was like, if I never ever write a TV show ever again, I have all these wonderful friends all over the country. And like I know that, like, I have a good life outside of doing the stuff that I got a job with, you know, and then I moved.

[01:27:10]

Well, in a way, what I love about that is that you went outside of your comfort zone, the thing that that you've had since you were little, which is like, I don't need to ask anyone for help. I got this. I got it. Yeah.

[01:27:24]

You want to try for. Yeah. And you want to postpone it because for necessity.

[01:27:30]

Because you knew you had to, but then you were just so open to the experience of it that you like kind of let go and once you let go. Well what happened. I got a really nice job in L.A..

[01:27:44]

Yeah, it really was. I mean it really was because it was like friends that like. I, I consider good friends, but like you don't when you're not in college anymore, you're not spending as much time with your adult friends like that.

[01:28:01]

Yeah, like when you're in college, you realize you're on campus, you're eating lunch together all the time. Like, I went to stay with my friend who lives in Boston for like four days. And like, I haven't fucking seen Davina. I hadn't seen it for like four years. And I was like, but she was like, if you ever come to Boston, please stay with me. And I was like, I'm coming to Boston, can I stay with you?

[01:28:21]

And she was like, Holy shit.

[01:28:23]

Yes. And I was like, it was really nice. Because you feel like I think personally we all like, think we're like a bird. I was like, oh, then I'm going to be a big bird. But when in actuality, the people in your life that you've chosen to be your friends would never think of you like that.

[01:28:40]

Yeah, you would never I would never think of my friends like that. But I do think that we, like, don't treat ourselves the way we treat our friends. But like I was in I was in Oklahoma. I was in Boston. I was in Nebraska. I was in Portland. I was in Los Angeles. I was in Dallas. I was in Miami. I went to Atlanta. I went and stayed with people all all those places, Detroit.

[01:29:06]

And it was really cool to like also I think that are your adult friends, if they don't have children, like we don't really take care of another person like we, that we only take care of ourselves. My friend lawyer was like, this is my best breakfast.

[01:29:22]

I'm going to make you my my signature breakfast because she like little BioServe or like you'll go see your friend and they'll be like, hey, this is like the bar I go to. They know my name here. I'm going to take you to my bar and I got to like be like in my friends lives in a way that wasn't like, I don't know, just like visiting like because when you visit someone of tiny slumber parties.

[01:29:46]

Yeah. Because when you when you visit someone they're like, I'm going to take you to the best nachos in L.A. You're like, OK, cool, I'm here for you. Let me do that.

[01:29:53]

When you stay with someone for five days, when you stay with me, I take you to the nachos twice just well after you're like you wake up with them and you like have their morning routine and you talk about your night together, like your night before. And it was it was just really cool to like re meet all of these important people that I had really chosen to be a part of my family, my chosen family over like that decade I lived in Chicago and they we all reconnected.

[01:30:24]

So I, like all my friendships, got better after that, the worst work year of my life.

[01:30:31]

So that was the biggest that was my biggest pivot. Yeah. When you came to meet with us to to have a meeting to see if you were going to get hired. I'm busy tonight and if we like Vibe together, you never know. Like staying with your friends could have like primed the pump and laid the groundwork for like being your most you you know, because that's what your writing was great.

[01:30:52]

But we really liked you, you know, and really like when you interview. Yeah. And I was like we were like we want to be in a room with this person for the next 16 weeks, hopefully longer.

[01:31:06]

And we want to hear their perspective on things that, yeah, it was so fun. And that week I was staying with my best friend, Becs, her husband. They have like a very nice toute. And I like Kevin, stay with them. And I, I because I was like working in New York, going back and forth and then I like came to L.A. also. Just if you ever interview for a job in the industry, just say you live in that city.

[01:31:34]

Because I was like, I live here, but I was like crashing with us. I was like, I live in L.A. You don't have to move me because sometimes they'll pay the both of you. But like, sometimes you just got to be like, I live here. But I was like, hey, guys, that's how I got girls by that. But I was already here. Yeah. You got to just be in the city where it happens, because if anybody ever tells you, well, we'll have a job for you if you move here.

[01:31:56]

And it's like, but I will move here if I had a job.

[01:32:00]

So but I was crashing on my friend's couch and then I went in to Portland and crashed somewhere. And then I went to Tallahassee and then I got the job offer and I, I it was really like a redo of Chicago. When I was twenty one, I moved to Chicago with three bags of clothes and six hundred dollars in my bank account, and I moved to Los Angeles with like three or four bags of clothes and like maybe less than six hundred dollars.

[01:32:28]

I had I gotten rid of all my shit. So it was like a real like moving to a city. Starting over, I moved to L.A. and I don't know who it was. Whoever was in accounting at NBC, I was like, I'm trying to get an apartment. Can you just tell them that I already got paid? And they were like, yeah, if they call you, we'll tell you. We'll tell them that you are getting paid because, like.

[01:32:51]

In L.A., they like want to see your fucking pay stubs and stuff, so they were like, well, we'll send you the pay stubs and we'll make sure that they know you have a job.

[01:32:59]

And also, I think you could make it hard. But yeah, I like that was my biggest pivot.

[01:33:07]

It was like moving to L.A. after, like, a year of being like, I'm doing it.

[01:33:12]

I'm working at TV and then fully one hundred percent fucking cricket. I did like also I did like 40 packets. Like you ever see like a late night show or something. Every couple of like maybe once or twice a year they'll ask you to write in the voice of that, like Colbert, I'll be like write fifteen jokes in the voice of Colbert. I fucking did like for Colbert packets three Jimmy Fallon package. I did two Kimmel packets, I did some Conan Pagad, I did some package for shit that I never made.

[01:33:46]

Er I have a folder on my computer that's like literally 50 fucking packets for shows I did not get. Not the first fucking job. Yeah. One, it was really hard. And then like a year later I got to be busy tonight and everyone's like you did it but like nobody knows that, like I did it for a long time. I was not doing it, it was hard and I was broke and I was crying.

[01:34:13]

And then they're like, I just take you to coffee and pick your brain. Yeah.

[01:34:17]

And you're like and they're like, tell me the shortcut.

[01:34:21]

And the shortcut is you go to Oklahoma and you do a weekend of workshops and you get some money and then you fly back to Tallahassee.

[01:34:29]

And you when I tell you the truth, what I actually think the shortcut is if you want to make it in entertainment. Yeah, I've thought about this a lot because I've been doing this longer than anyone on Earth.

[01:34:42]

I actually think that the shortcut to making it in entertainment is being your truest self. And I think that that's the shortcut to making it. Literally anywhere. Yeah, and like I think, Shinta, that what Casey said is right, like you had spent almost a year traveling the country, reconnecting with people and being your truest self and reconnecting with the thing you loved, improv and teaching it.

[01:35:12]

And you released all the ideas of the other thing of like what you should be or where you should be or whatever.

[01:35:21]

And when you walked into that office with us, you were the most sparkly version of yourself. Like what we see here today to you have just continued to be like the most sparkly best version of yourself. And like, that's the fucking shortcut, man. Sometimes it takes you like a little bit of time to figure out how to get back to yourself because you think a thing is very important for you to be.

[01:35:50]

So you're trying to be that thing.

[01:35:53]

But what we love about you and what all these people that wrote in it, love about you and like what? I'm going to miss talking to you every week so much. It's just that you're you and there's no one in the fucking world like you, Shandra. Oh, thank you guys so much. I'm not going to cry yet, but it's coming. Well, let's read another let's read another letter.

[01:36:20]

Speaking of being yourself from Jennifer. She says, thanks to Shinjiro for teaching this middle aged white lady. What we fuck with her means this white lady is tricky, but she fucks with shinta. I know. I didn't use that right.

[01:36:35]

You did. You did. You did. I was good. She had Jennifer. I'm a shout out to the community of this podcast has been so wonderful, like it's been like like I got my breast reduction because of this podcast. The women in this podcast sent me recommendations, sent me to doctors that they had already been to like. And so many women, like have emailed me and have been like, now I'm probably going to cry. And then like, hey, like I'm getting a breast reduction because of this podcast.

[01:37:08]

Like I talk to my husband about this and he fully supports me. I talk to my sister and she gave me the episode at the Your Breast Reduction Surgery, and I'm going to do it like I'm doing it right now. Like I made the appointment, like I'm figuring it out. And the community from this podcast has been like, so, so wonderful. And like, you guys send me messages. I can't get to all of them because these are deep.

[01:37:31]

But I will say that, like, I really appreciate you guys for being so kind and so wonderful, but also, like we talked about this before, about how the government has failed us, but we took care of each other. And this busy this podcast, The Community of Women in this podcast, we take care of each other. And it's really been wonderful. Like, thank you for all your good recommendations. I'm going through them. Oh, thank you for that.

[01:37:58]

Like, I found the plastic surgeon to give me a major surgery because of women who listen to this podcast. Also, like sending a message to a stranger is very brave. But like, if you thought about this, like famous and you're like, I'm going to sing this famous person like people, I'll be like, I know you're famous and I'll be like, girl, OK? But then you look at what it's like.

[01:38:21]

It's like, obviously I'm not Angela Bassett, but like it's like I'm going to message Angela Bassett today. That's how it feels.

[01:38:27]

And if you did that, it's really, really brave. Also, like everybody doesn't like advice, but like you do it for the greater good. So you'll be like, I think this really helped me. Would you I hope you watch this, like all of that's really brave. So, like, shout out to all the really brave, like people who listen to this podcast and who come together in this community because we really have taken care of each other.

[01:38:52]

And it's been like life changing. Like my whole life got changed because a lady sent me a doctor in L.A., like, really in IDM. So I don't know if you saw this, but there was a letter from a listener named Megan. It's a very long letter. And I'm going to I'm going to just going to jump jump around the office forever.

[01:39:15]

Grateful to you, because in the past fall, she was having issues with discomfort and pain in her lower abdomen.

[01:39:24]

And so she went to after listening to H.A. talk about endless, about listening to her body and advocating for herself, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor. They discovered I had no variances that had grown substantially. They'd need to remove it. It was an easy surgery, no issues. Afterward, my pain stopped, but I was still feeling discomfort, the same discomfort at my postop appointment. I didn't plan on mentioning it, but I kept hearing she and Tiaro in my head telling me to listen to my body.

[01:40:02]

Like, that's fucking amazing, and she says, luckily, I have a doctor who took my discomfort seriously and ordered a CT scan and they discovered several masses in my abdomen and I was diagnosed with a progressive and extremely rare lung disease called I Cannot Pronounce It Lymphoedema Simitis Ptosis or L. a. m.. Lam. This disease affects almost entirely women. It's exacerbated by estrogen, meaning both pregnancy and birth control. Fun.

[01:40:37]

Domo Hawera, I don't know what that is and collapsed along, you must pneumothorax and collapsed lungs.

[01:40:44]

Well, if I'm not on the set of E.R. and I don't have the doctor telling me how to pronounce things really hard for me, you know what I mean? Well, sorry.

[01:40:51]

And collapsed lungs are very common with this disease. And particularly that's concerning during this pandemic that starts a respiratory disease. So anyway, Megan says, I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't had Santeros voice in my head telling me to speak up and acknowledge that my body was trying to tell me something wasn't right. I've recently begun treatment and medication with a pulmonologist. I'll be monitored closely for the rest of my life, but I'm only lucky enough to be receiving treatment because I listened to my body.

[01:41:27]

So Shintaro, from the bottom of my heart, no, I'm going to cry.

[01:41:30]

Thank you for setting that example and for giving others the strength to do the same. It saved my life. I hope Shintaro knows what had an amazing impact she's having on Listeners' bacon.

[01:41:47]

I do a lot of little shit on here, so thank you so much.

[01:41:52]

I think one of the things we started this podcast was because people don't listen to women and at the end of the day, you should listen to yourself.

[01:42:05]

So there should always be someone who's willing to listen to you if you're willing to listen to yourself. And I think that that is something that is we're told not to be discouraged from listening to ourselves constantly. So I think that, like, being your own biggest advocate is really hard. But like I said before, treating yourself the way you would treat your friends really helped me a lot, because I would tell my friends to go to the doctor. I would tell my friends to listen to their bodies.

[01:42:36]

So you're all my friends, and I'm so happy that you did that. Listen to your like we know what's up. Women are like fucking powerful, which is why they try to take our power.

[01:42:50]

We are the which is Mr. Weirdo's. But I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of you. And yeah, like fuck. Yeah.

[01:43:03]

Listen to your body be knowing you guys. On that note, I just want to say re the conversation we had last week about women's health and midwives. I've been doing a lot of investigative.

[01:43:22]

Journalism, a.k.a. Googling cases that I've been sending some things back and forth I've been talking to with my friends at the Center for Reproductive Rights and and other friends that I have that are like working in this space and know people who are working in the space. And I think that what we're going to try to do in the next bit of time is focus on a few places around the country that have midwives who are doing, you know, who are opening practices and doing this work.

[01:43:59]

And we're going to try to help fund them financially.

[01:44:03]

Yeah, with the help of all of you, there are a lot of specifically black midwives in different parts of the country that are like, yeah, no, no, we are already doing this. Thanks, though. Busy, but we're taking this. But we are going to take the health of our the community and like the women in our community into our own hands. But they need they need money and they need funding and they need help. And so we're going to come up with a plan and I'm going to get back to you on this one.

[01:44:33]

But I also encourage everybody, wherever you are to like look into it in your own communities and like, let's truly take it back.

[01:44:45]

Yes, take back our bodies because we are the ones that can listen to ourselves, what Megan says is so powerful. But it's compounded by one sentence, which is that I am lucky enough to have an amazing doctor who took my discomfort seriously and ordered a C.T. scan, and that is the thing that many black women in this country biopsy like like not are not just many women also just women are not taking I take it seriously. Yeah.

[01:45:24]

Aren't taken seriously. And also, like, you know, the way that medicine is designed and studied and it's geared toward men, men's bodies are studied and there that's everyone's standard based on the it's the standard on the way that men's bodies work. So, you know, for example, so many women have, you know, gone to the E.R. feeling uncomfortable, feeling nauseous, having a sore arm. And it turns out that it's a heart attack that's presenting differently than you'd see with a man.

[01:45:59]

And it's just that these things haven't really even been studied. Women haven't even really.

[01:46:05]

And then, you know, the physiological differences between men and women, between different types of women, you know, there's there's just there's a lot that we don't know.

[01:46:18]

And you spend every moment of every day with your body, so nobody knows it better than you.

[01:46:23]

You know, when I we talked about this a little bit last week when I gave birth to my first son, I was in the hospital for a really long time because I became ill in the hospital. I had like an infection as a result of having a cesarean section. And they were giving me intravenous antibiotics.

[01:46:42]

And I have really terrible veins. Like I've always known that when I go to have blood drawn, it takes so many tries and my my veins kept collapsing. So I'd have to get this. I've put back in. And then they had a pediatric anesthesiologist come in to put an IV in a vein in my ankle because I had no more veins.

[01:47:03]

Oh my God, do it. He couldn't do it. And he was the nicest man. And he cried tears and I said, Why are you crying? And he said, I just feel so bad. I keep sticking this needle in you. And it's not like I'm here to do a job and I can't help you. And I feel like a failure. And so I'm like comforting this doctor, you know, saying like, it's OK, you tried your best, you know.

[01:47:23]

And so they got this real tough, like IV nurse to come in and she found some vein like way high up on my arm. And it really was painful to get this I.V. and it was painful to even feel the medicine going into the IV. And I was like, I feel like I can taste the medicine in my mouth and it's making me feel sick and just all this stuff anyway. And I just had this sense that the like that vein was going to collapse really quickly and that that IV wouldn't be viable.

[01:47:52]

But this nurse came in and I was like, if you please call my doctor, I'll take one million pills, I'll swallow a million pills.

[01:48:01]

If you just take this thing out of my arm, I swear to God. And like, I was running like 105 fever and like, hallucinating makes me sick. And I was just like about.

[01:48:10]

I'll just sit here and swallow all the pills, as many pills as you say I have to take, if you just take this thing out of my arm. And so when that I've felt that nerve, which we knew it was going to happen, that nurse just was like, you know, I'm going to just I'm just going to give you the pills.

[01:48:28]

And it was like a lot I had to take, like, a lot of oral antibiotics. And she just sat with me and she was like, I saw how upset you were. And I was thinking of my daughter. I have a daughter your age. And so I just pretended that I couldn't find the IV nurse to come back. And so, like, I'm probably going to get in trouble, but, you know, but so anyway, I swallowed all these, like, whatever, 40 pills or something.

[01:48:49]

And then I went to sleep. And when I woke up in the morning, I was great.

[01:48:53]

Oh, fine.

[01:48:54]

I was no longer like infection gone. And, you know, and I'm not saying, like, these IVs were making me sicker. I just I think, like, the trauma was probably contributing to, like, me not being able to, like, get back on my feet. But like, thanks to that one nurse who was like, baby, I'm going to listen to you because you remind me of my daughter.

[01:49:12]

Yeah. I think that, like, the thing, too, is like pain feels bad, but pain is good. Pain is a warning from your body. Like, bodies are fucking insane. Like it's so wild. Like obviously like I'm not a doctor, but if you just like your heart is beating from the all the time. Just you have to sleep, you go to the grocery store, you watch Love Island. Like your heart is fucking going dude.

[01:49:42]

So like if you feel pain the bodies are amazing but we're like so disconnected from like how amazing everything in the whole universe is because of capitalism.

[01:49:53]

But like, OK, well, listen, I just say though, in defense of capitalism, I love to shop. And I also and also my ovulation is timed to the moon and I feel the implantation of my child like I'm very in tune with my body.

[01:50:13]

And also I do like dresses. Oh, yeah. I just want to say, I don't know if it's like entirely capitalism's fault. No, I feel like we have to be able to drop in and like connect.

[01:50:25]

But it's you work three jobs and you come home, you know what I mean. OK, all right. Yeah. You don't get to drop so many people don't get to drop in. So I think that if you are fortunate enough where you do get to like, yeah, my arm hurts, OK, see how long it hurts. It's not supposed to. Your body is not you're not supposed to be in pain like you're not supposed to be hurting.

[01:50:48]

Like it's not supposed to fucking suck to walk down the street and like I wish we had universal health care so everybody could check in on all that stuff. But like your body, like.

[01:50:58]

What's to be chilling so if it happens, you like no, nobody's like I know what I'm going to do to this bitch. I want to make it super hard to go upstairs like nobody is just like, yeah, I love this. It's a warning. And I think that we should heed those moments when we were like, I don't feel so great. I think I'm going to lay down. I think I'm going to sit down there. I'm going to drink some water.

[01:51:18]

I think my fucking abdomen is wrong because you've had that abdomen your whole life, you know what I mean?

[01:51:25]

Yes. Yeah. I really think you can be your own biggest advocate. And some I think it's so interesting when people will be like, no, you don't feel that. How the fuck do you know?

[01:51:36]

Right. Right. Yeah, I know how the fuck I have had this body my whole life. How the fuck do you know. Right. I know. So that's kind of how I thought also with my like my my guest psychologist. When I told them, I was like, I think this is what my body is doing. And he was like forty milligrams instead of twenty. And I was like, I'ma let you do another endoscopy on me in a year, because that is what I need to do to make sure I don't have any cancerous cells in my esophagus.

[01:52:04]

But I am going to call this this other guy, because I think that there is a combination of like Eastern and Western medicine that goes together, go to the doctor and make sure everything is right. But then every once in a while, you just fucking need some some some pollen from some tree that you need that'll make you feel better. So I think that being open to knowing that, like, sometimes it's not more milligrams, sometimes it's something else that that's also be open to that, too.

[01:52:35]

Yeah. Everybody is like very limited to the knowledge that they have. So that's, you know, like think about whatever you do for your job.

[01:52:43]

You don't know everything about, you know, if you teach literature, you don't know every book that's ever been written in the world, you know, just limited to what you know.

[01:52:53]

It's just so unfortunate that we spent the last period of time in this country listening to a fucking idiot blowhard saying that he knew everything, that there was that that the that the idea just kept being pushed out into the world, that if you don't know everything, that that's a bad thing.

[01:53:16]

Yeah. And I'm grateful for Joe Biden, obviously, and Carmela for so many reasons, but mostly that they're like, hey, I'm actually not the best at transportation.

[01:53:29]

I'm actually the best. I'm actually not the best. I don't have a degree in science says, you know, I'm good, I'm good at this thing and I can identify these things, but I don't have to be an expert on everything.

[01:53:45]

And even a delegation of college delegates. Yes. And yeah, delegates call an expert. And it's like you're not a fucking you are an expert on your own body and. Right. Other than that, guys, you don't know everything. I go back in high school, I, I was in I think I think it was like a biology class and I raised my hand and to ask a question of the teacher and I asked my question and she said, you know what, I don't know, but I'm going to find out and I'm going to get back to you.

[01:54:22]

And that was a huge epiphany for me that I had so much respect for that woman to bravely stand up in front of a classroom of teenagers. The most terrifying thing probably that anyone does that in the world or anything in the world of teenagers is the scariest thing in the world.

[01:54:40]

Agreed. We can all agree on that. And to say, I don't know the answer to your question, but you know what?

[01:54:48]

Let's find out together. I'm going to I'm going to find out and I'm going to get back to you. And she did. And I realized how much respect I had for that. And I've really maintained that throughout my life to have, like, really mad respect for someone that is like, you know what? That is not something that I know, but let's find out or let's, like, keep pushing until we find out.

[01:55:08]

That's when, like Courtney, like what I learned most from Courtney Cox is that she was never going to be like, I don't know what that is. And I'm like, wait, what? You don't just go along and pretend like, you know, whatever, because you got. Oh, OK. Wow. Because I do. And then, well, there's people that do that.

[01:55:27]

And then there's also people that sometimes like not only go along but like bullshit like they do now and then next thing you know, you're like, oh yeah. Because remember you told me this is how this works and that's how that works. And it's like it turns out that it was just like some fucking fairy tale. And now two people look stupid.

[01:55:44]

Like I'm like, why would you bullshit about why bullshit also surrounding yourself with people who aren't afraid to tell you when you're wrong, which is another thing that the administration was bad.

[01:55:55]

My girlfriend was telling me about, like this doctor who is like this blowhard surgeon who, like everyone was kind of afraid of came into this operating room and like start it was like, OK, we're doing this foot surgery. The nurse, all of the residents, they were like, this is not a foot surgery. He's wrong.

[01:56:14]

And nobody said anything. And they let him. I know, but surgery. No, no, no, no, not they would not they nobody want to tell this man whose ego was so big that he had surrounded himself with people who wouldn't tell him he was doing the wrong fucking surgery. Also, I hate that guy, the Lord, obviously. But that's the thing, too.

[01:56:39]

It's like surround yourself with people who are willing to be wrong, are willing to not know everything. I mean, when I was in college, also shout out to people who are in college. And this is a thing that I did. I paid so much money for that fucking education. I understand something. I raise my hand. They'd be like, OK, moving on. And I would literally raise my hand in a math class and be like, I do not understand what you just did.

[01:57:01]

I need you to do each step and I need you to explain it to me. And then they'd be like, OK, great, I'm a teacher, I love fucking teaching. And then I teacher would just like do all this fucking shit that was so hard. And then after class people would be like, thank you for asking. I didn't understand either and I wasn't going to say anything. I'm sorry, but this is a.. This is like one thing I love about you so much and I've learned so much from you.

[01:57:25]

Everybody has learned something from Centura. You can't help but like come in contact with Shinta and not learn something. I've learned many things, but a giant thing I've learned from you is like just advocating for yourself and being like, yeah, actually I don't. Hi. Can you like run over that one more time for me. It's like I, I deserve all the information. I don't, this doesn't you know, like I just feel like that's really difficult a lot of times for especially women to speak up and say and I'm so appreciative of your openness in all of that.

[01:58:01]

I definitely definitely yeah.

[01:58:06]

I had therapy for two hours before this and I drank a bit, you know, one of my big cups of water.

[01:58:11]

I got to go. And then I just drank a drink and a half of my drink. OK, I'll be back.

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[01:59:31]

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Or a regular meal.

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I've been using the grounds a lot.

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I love white chocolate. Peppermint. You love peppermint too. You love peppermint. I do chocolate chip ice cream. So I feel like you should try that one because I think you'll really enjoy it. And I love all the creamer's because it does make your coffee feel like a little special treat.

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It's so much more than sheets. It's comforters, pillows, towels, loungewear and more. And their sheets come in setin linen, cashmere, classic cow.

[02:02:33]

I personally, I personally am like on board with the linen. I just love that linen. I have the classic I love a crisp classic sheet. I like that for you to hear are going to say, guys, I've been a fan of Brooklyn and since long before this podcast, if you have not shopped on Brooklyn and I was in a store, not a joke. Where was I? I don't know, I was telling someone about Brooklyn, and yesterday I was like, oh, you don't know what Brooklyn is.

[02:03:00]

You don't get your sheets from Brooklyn.

[02:03:01]

Oh, the girl that teaching me pole dancing. You, me. There I was you. I said something to you, me about Brooklyn. And she asked me where my towels were from. And I was like, because I bring towels because I sweat so much when I do pole dancing, I brought my towel and my pole dancing teacher, you me was like, that towel is amazing. What is it? And I was like, Oh, I got it on Brooklyn and you don't buy things on Brooklyn.

[02:03:21]

And she's like, no, I was like, you got to get on Brooklyn. But if you do, you have to use my special offer, go to Brooklyn and Dotcom and use promo code. Best to get twenty five dollars off when you spend one hundred dollars or more per. Free shipping, it's 20 21, do something nice for yourself to start off the new year to help you do that, take this special offer from Brooklyn and that's b r o o k l i n e n dot com.

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Enter a promo code best you get twenty five dollars off when you spend a hundred dollars or more plus free shipping. I'm trying to talk quietly so you really pay attention.

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Brooklyn and dot com and use promo code best at checkout. I sleep on their sheets, I wipe my body down with their towels, especially when I'm pole dancing. I love me some Brooklyn and go get it I.

[02:04:27]

Let me tell you a story, I have a 12 and a half year old who at this point sometimes feels like I'm not taking I'm not washing my hair, I'm not interested.

[02:04:35]

Like Bertie is very cool.

[02:04:38]

It's challenging hair. Oh, right here. Yeah, always has.

[02:04:43]

Oh, can't complain, bird. No, I smelled their head this morning when they came to hug me and it smelled so effing delicious and I was like, what happened?

[02:04:57]

And Bertie was like, I use my function of beauty hair products. And I added a new scent this month and that's what you're smelling. And I was like, I would like to eat your hair.

[02:05:07]

It smells so good. It smelled fruity and delicious. It was so clean.

[02:05:14]

Bertie's hair looked perfect. This is a function of beauty does for me and can do for you as well. Listen. Functional beauty is the world leader in customizable beauty, offering precise formulations for your hair's specific needs. So here's how it works in my home. I took a quiz, bird took a quiz.

[02:05:39]

We had cricket take a quiz, and we came up with what are hair goals were the type of hair that we had, like what we were looking for. We chose our own colors and fragrances. I personally went fragrance and dye free. If you're a subscriber, you get access to more exclusive colors and scents, which is what Burty got. And then functional beauty goes on and creates the perfect blend of ingredients, bottles. Your formula delivers it to you along with fun seasonal stickers and the instructions that you need.

[02:06:17]

Honestly, the purple shampoo has been very helpful to me of late because my hair has been quite brassy in New York anyway. Function of beauty also creates formulas for body and skin care so you can customize your beauty routine from hair to toe. Never buy off the shelf just to be disappointed ever again. Go to a function of beauty dotcom slash best. Take the quiz and save 20 percent on your first order. That applies to their full range of customized hair, skin and body products.

[02:06:50]

Go to functional beauty dotcom slash. Best to let them know that we sent you guys.

[02:06:59]

That was truly epic that I know how much I just did also.

[02:07:04]

And I just tell you that was that was about advocating for myself because I had to pee for the last. 30 minutes, then I would like to go and point I was like, I'm sitting here not listening to my body, we're talking about the thing that I'm not going to go do it.

[02:07:20]

And then when you come back.

[02:07:23]

And now you can literally now it was probably hard to concentrate before. And you are a little bit now you're comfortable. You can concentrate. I feel weird. Do you do I always count when I pee because like, you know, I have like a little OCD issues. And no matter whether I only have to pee a little bit or I have to pee them.

[02:07:42]

What's your number?

[02:07:42]

That your number if it's 12, no matter what the length of counting to 12, how that I knew that you had one number you got to it's always twelve even if I just like.

[02:07:56]

Yeah. You're like a little bit or a lot of people.

[02:07:59]

Three, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, one. I kept the same pace every time. It's just the volume of pee that's coming out like that out of your bladder to.

[02:08:12]

So I like that. Yeah. My bladder is size 12 bladder.

[02:08:17]

I love that. Well guys, you never asked me what I was doing my best at, but that's OK. We were way I was going to point, I was going to point out that we never got to what you were doing your best. I guess that got on some tangent. I guess we're talking about Sentara.

[02:08:32]

All right. I'm doing a big day besides advocating for yourself. That's it, dude. I'm doing my best at living wage, centura those past they truly like. I'm doing my best at, like, identifying, like truly identifying the things that I need and the things that I want in life and in work and all across the board and being unapologetic about it as opposed to like being weighed down by ideas that have been, like, ingrained in me since I was, I don't know, probably like pre birth.

[02:09:08]

I don't even fucking know where these ideas come from.

[02:09:11]

But but it is true. It's like it's definitely. Kind of the impact that like seeing you, like live your life and how you do it and how you express what it is that you need and all of those things.

[02:09:26]

So I've been like doing my best at living like you and.

[02:09:31]

I really have I've just been I've been working on it and then beyond that. Hmm. I changed my earrings out, those piercings that I got. Oh, yeah. Oh, you did. The ones that were like the one that was infected? No, there were two that were infected and those ones are gone. I took those out.

[02:09:59]

I listen to my body because, you know, my body said, no, no, that's too many fuckin piercings.

[02:10:05]

Busy to listen to.

[02:10:08]

And you still have four on one ear. That's enough.

[02:10:13]

Yeah. So those guys healed and then I was able to switch out the earring and then I switched out the upper earring on the other side and I was very happy about that.

[02:10:23]

And then I was thinking just today I wrote this Instagram post.

[02:10:29]

I like have not been I would say personally and I have like not been as like open on Instagram in recent times just because I'm like saying I think we're I think everyone's moving out of insta world.

[02:10:48]

I've been creeping out. Yeah, I, I felt I feel that vibe. But like also I just was like, yeah.

[02:10:54]

And I just wasn't I wasn't really interested in sharing things on there or whatever anyway.

[02:10:59]

But today, this morning, early, I did share a bit about what I was feeling because a year ago I was in London with Berdy to meet Bertie's favorite YouTube tubers. And it was like this whole journey that we went on together because they were having such a hard time and.

[02:11:20]

I was just, like, grasping at straws to try to, like, do anything to help Bertie feel better or see that they were worth.

[02:11:31]

Everything in the world and. Obviously, I used all my frequent flyer miles to do that, although, like, honestly.

[02:11:43]

Who fucking cares about frequent flyer miles? Well, you know, I mean, yeah, we're really happy I didn't go I didn't get a card like when I was getting my grown up card after I got rid of my Gap card 23. It's really fucked me for a decade. Once I got rid of my Gap card, I was like, I'm going to get like a grown up card that I can pay off and that might help me. And I was like, maybe I'll get airline miles and I didn't do it.

[02:12:08]

You know, I'm happy because I haven't gone anywhere.

[02:12:11]

Yeah, I mean, there's nowhere I mean, right now there's nowhere to go. But I did. And and a year ago, this was like a big decision because, like, I come from my dad is a major points guy. You know, I come from like a points guy family. Yeah. And like my parents, literally, my dad was like a businessman who flew a lot for work, commuted all over the place, saved those fucking miles for so long, rolled them over is like in the Million Mile Club, whatever.

[02:12:44]

And has my parents have taken like beautiful luxurious vacations and my dad's like ask me how much it cost.

[02:12:51]

And he's like fourteen dollars like you flew first class on Cathay Pacific for fourteen dollars. And I was like, yes. And that's just because your mother packed her hair dryer, you know, whatever like I like truly.

[02:13:08]

So for me a year ago to be like I because I also I'm the I my dad of the family, like I'm the traveling businessman of the family and I like traveled so much, saved up all my frequent flyer miles, had my credit card that got my miles, whatever. And then my kid was like in this super dark place. And I was like, I'll do anything.

[02:13:30]

What is it, what's the what's any anything.

[02:13:34]

And Bertie was like, I want to I want to meet my favorite YouTube earth. I was like, Yeah, I can make that. I'm going to make that happen.

[02:13:43]

You don't like frequent flyer miles and then a pandemic happened, so no one's flying anywhere anyway. I can accumulate more. It's fine. I'm glad I used my miles on that. But yeah, I was like reflecting on that trip and how. I actually had therapy twice today, I had therapy with my therapist and then Mark and I had therapy is a lot of it that we had this it was a lot of fucking therapy today, but. But I wrote this post because I was thinking about how.

[02:14:17]

We talk about Pivot's, I was thinking about that thing that, like people say, it gets better, you know, and when you are in, Casey knows this, too, like when you are a parent or a caregiver or a sibling or like somebody that's with the person who's going through the thing.

[02:14:37]

You have to, like, remain steadfast in your like it gets better, it gets better. But. For them, for their sake, but like internally, you're like. What if it doesn't and like what if this is it and, you know, and then what am I going to do?

[02:14:57]

What are they going to do? What are we going to do? What the fuck are we going to do?

[02:15:03]

And I was I'm so grateful to have Casey as my friend because Casey went through so much as a parent and has seen every kind of thing, like, truly, but.

[02:15:18]

I pose like so I posed to these photos and I wrote this thing like this very like like really, truly. Heartfelt thing this morning about Burty and. And I posted the last photo is a picture I took of Bertie and me from the other night, like I think it's Friday night or Saturday night or something. And like. I often think about if I could go back in time and show myself one picture, do you ever think of that? Well, you.

[02:15:49]

I mean, this sounds weird, but like me and my partner do it all the time, like, because I know what is time. We always joke about it. But, like, I don't think that it's linear. I think that every version of me is in existence right now. So, like, I feel like the future version of me comes back to tell me that we're doing OK.

[02:16:06]

And string theory out is not smart enough to know if it's doing OK. But this is the many worlds theory and the many worlds theory. Right. So like six year old me is happening right now. 18 year old me is right now 23 year old me. It's happening right now. And then, like, I'll have like a revelation about like 10 year old me and I'll be like, OK, like I'm going to go tell a ten year old me that, like, this is fine.

[02:16:33]

Wait till you see thirty 33 year old you like remember when you watch the show and you thought it'd be cool to work on that. I know it's really hard right now, but just keep waiting. It's OK. Or like 23 year old me, I'll be like, it's OK to like not be good at this. I know you think that it's bad that you're not, but it's OK if you're not good or it's like you should kiss this person like some other people.

[02:16:57]

But I do. But it makes me feel better at least that I will be like, oh my gosh. Like so many people have so much trauma when they're younger and it's like, oh, like think about seven year old you right now and how you wish you'd live somewhere else. There's something else where someone else and then just be like, hey buddy, guess what. Like this is you, you're pretty fucking cool and you made it. And like I think that that really makes me feel better.

[02:17:24]

So I think that you should take a moment today and be like busy from last year. I know you thought that it would be so hard and it was. But like, I just want to let you know that, like, busy right now, we fucking did it. And I think that, like, it's really healing.

[02:17:40]

So I do it all the time. I do the same exact thing.

[02:17:43]

I you know, because I was you know, it's hard without getting too deep without turning this into therapy.

[02:17:50]

But like, my childhood was hard and I was very lonely.

[02:17:56]

Like I think a lot of the things that were hard about my childhood would have been better if I hadn't been lonely on top of it. So there are some times when I just, like, travel back as my adult self to just sit with little me.

[02:18:09]

Yeah, be like I know nobody's here right now, you know, but like we're back together, but we're here together and we did it.

[02:18:18]

And I think that, like, subconsciously sometimes I'll be like, I'm really worried about that. And then I'll be like, oh man, future me telling me that, like we're good. And I'm like, I can do that. I can go back to, like, you know, you'll find the job, it'll be OK. I'll go back and it's like it's OK to do this, Major. Like you're making good decisions, like it's OK that you went to school in your hometown.

[02:18:39]

When you're thirty five and everyone's eighty thousand dollars in debt, you're going to think yourself. You've got to take eighteen year old you because you can take past you to like. I'm really grateful that seventeen year old me who went to the computer lab at school because I did have internet at my house, I applied to that school and made a really grown up decision that I hope was the right one. I go back. No, hey, you're seventeen.

[02:19:03]

This is a really good decision. You're doing a good job. Yeah.

[02:19:06]

Like I think also my that. You can also tell your prior self that you deserved better.

[02:19:15]

Yeah, you know, like in a situation where, you know, where just whatever happened was a bad break, whether it was like bad luck or whether it was someone that treated you in a way that you didn't deserve to be treated like, it's very helpful to tell yourself you deserve better, you deserve better than this.

[02:19:36]

And like, you know, that's just the truth. And it's it's good to know that truth. So do it busy? No, I, I it's so funny, you know, I do. I mean, that's what I was thinking about today. I was thinking about like.

[02:19:52]

How hard it was and specifically like the darkest my lowest moment was a year ago, and if I and maybe I did, maybe I like showed a year ago me that picture of me and Berdy.

[02:20:11]

Like mirror selfie vibes here in your. And how incredible they're doing and how. Much, much changed and better. It is like. I moved through it, they moved through it, we all moved through it and like. I don't know, it's just it's. That's really interesting that, like what what you guys are saying, I never. Thought about that in that way, like I never thought about it in that way, but yeah, like.

[02:20:52]

What does it look like? Yeah, I heard it the first time, the first time I ever I ever, like, had this idea to do or I don't even know if it was an idea, was just something that I pictured.

[02:21:04]

I was in like one of those sensory deprivation saltwater tanks. And like, I hate those. I just used my adult.

[02:21:14]

I just I hated it, too. But I got like a membership. And so I had to go because I'm so cheap, I can't stand to like anything that I you know, if I pay for it, I'm using it, even if I hate it.

[02:21:26]

And so I I kept going and there came a time like halfway through where it actually was like kind of like trippy mind blowing epiphany is like every time I went in there. And that was the first time that I ever pictured like my adult self, just going to my little self and being like, this fucking sucks girl. It really sucks. You deserve better. Let me hug you. Let me pick you up. Let me stay with you while you're alone.

[02:21:52]

And then like my life was different after that weird outtake day.

[02:21:58]

All right, guys, yeah, listen, float tanks aren't possible right now, pandemic, but I do love the quiet moment.

[02:22:07]

Yeah, I do feel like this is a nice thing to leave us all on, but yeah, it makes sense. Yes. Yeah. You look, this is a nice moment to end our pod on tonight. She a.. I'm going to I'm going to.

[02:22:22]

Is it weird if I visit you. If my cell I was it.

[02:22:28]

I like you can do that here. I do love you. I know you. I know you. Here's the thing. If you go to like ten year old me and you tell me that the girl I'm watching because I, I there's two shows I'm sorry that my power must have been too strong.

[02:22:42]

So you had Malcolm and you, Malcolm in the Middle and Freaks and Geeks came out like I think the same year. And I like them both so much. I had no supervision when I was watching TV. So I was watching those shows. And I remember being like, I have to watch both of these so they don't get canceled.

[02:23:00]

I really put a lot on my show because I remember watching it being like I like both of these shows so much. And I was like, I don't understand a lot about ratings, but I do know that they are both just starting. And I think a show that I really like called Wonderfalls that either just gotten canceled or something.

[02:23:18]

But either way, I really I love Wonderfalls.

[02:23:21]

Yeah, it was so good. And I was like, I really don't want this to happen to these two shows. So I'm sorry if all my power went to Malcolm in the Middle.

[02:23:28]

But if you have been so busy, if you went to like eleven year old me, I was like, hey, that show that you're trying to keep on the air, sorry, it's not going to happen, but you will get to work with deep.

[02:23:40]

I would be like, I've never met anybody on TV. That's crazy.

[02:23:44]

So please go visit me and then I won't feel so bad because I really did. It really did. I really did play myself a little bit because I didn't finish our episode. I did it and I was like, did I miss I missed the finale and I really fucked up.

[02:23:57]

I really did a lot of a lot of pressure on me to keep television shows afloat. Oh, my God.

[02:24:04]

Well, listen, I guess all things being equal, I'll take this controversial multi freaks and geeks being canceled, just so sorry, up just so that we ended up here today, you know what I mean?

[02:24:21]

So I'll take it.

[02:24:22]

OK, please go visit me because I really like I am.

[02:24:27]

I'm about to visit a ten year old. Yeah, I have. I really, I really work.

[02:24:31]

I Pepperell spread's and that I have and then I'm in also tell her she doesn't have to focus so hard on Malcolm in the middle.

[02:24:39]

They're fine maybe. Actually yeah they're fine. They're going to be fine.

[02:24:42]

I after watching them both I was like I don't need to worry about Freaks and Geeks. I got too complacent and lost my energy. And Malcolm, listen, you has season tickets to the Clippers. He is like he's doing fine still to this day.

[02:24:59]

Well, you guys, this is it. We did it a.. We did it. I love you so much. It's so weird. It's so weird, I just I really love you so much, really, so I know I'll see you soon.

[02:25:17]

I mean, obviously, but like and you're going to come back when you're not when you feel like it, but like it. I am so eternally grateful to you.

[02:25:28]

Saying like, yeah, sure, why not like and giving so much of yourself? To. The people who listen to this podcast and to me and to Casey, and I'm being so generous with your time and your energy and. I you're just like you are you are truly.

[02:25:53]

One of my favorite people in the world, and I always love what you have to say, and I'm going to miss you every week in this way, but I won't miss you that much because I'll be watching you online and we'll be also we have it all, but never something.

[02:26:07]

I know when I grew up, we're going to be fine. I'm not I'm not going to be concerned about me. We're going to be fine.

[02:26:16]

But but I just do want to say, like, I really appreciate what you've given to everybody. And I appreciate how open you've been to receiving from people, too, because I think that's really important and. And look, you got like you have a whole new body now, you got old, I had I got a whole new body when when we started when we started to make busy tonight, you know, I think.

[02:26:45]

You know, we wanted to make a TV show, we had certain ideas about what we wanted to do and but also really at the heart of it, for me, the important thing was making a community. And I wanted to make a community that was people watching the show, but also wanted to make a community that was people working behind the scenes. And like that team was remarkable.

[02:27:08]

You were a remarkable part of that team and it ended prematurely. People say it all the time. People that I really respect in the business are like they always want to talk about, like what happened and why it happened.

[02:27:22]

We were robbed.

[02:27:23]

But I am so grateful that we got to, like, extend a little bit of what we were doing there. And it made me so happy today when you were talking about the community of this podcast and what that's meant for you. And because, like, that's all I ever wanted to do, like, that's all my whole goal in life is to, like, make a virtual place where people can meet and just talk and see each other and hear each other.

[02:27:47]

And you have been such a huge part of that. And I feel kind of funny because I feel like I'll be sad next week when we come back to do the podcast. And you're not here. But right now, I'm just really excited for you to take, you know.

[02:28:00]

Me, too. Thanks, you guys. I love you guys both so much. Like you changed my whole life and you gave me that job. Like, I don't even think you know how important it was. And a wonderful community of women out here shout out to Nelson I, who are the only two men also held down the fort.

[02:28:28]

Yeah. And then popping in because, you know, we're got to get a text message if I don't bring them up for sure.

[02:28:36]

But you gave me such a wonderful community of friends out here, which is really hard to do when you're growing up without taking a class.

[02:28:44]

Oh, such a wonderful community, a wonderful place to work. Like, it's really hard. Everybody has a horror story.

[02:28:54]

And I've been fortunate to only have had like a couple and they've all been men who are, you know, not surprised, not surprising.

[02:29:04]

But you created a really wonderful experience in my life after I had like a really hard time. So I'm forever grateful and really thankful for this community. So, like, I person was a job and I got a whole new body and it's like, shout out to y'all big things. I love you so much. I love this podcast. You guys, I'm listening. I love you. Listen to your body. So listen to yourselves. Be your own biggest advocate and then post more pictures of your babies and your dogs, because that's my vibe that survive.

[02:29:37]

And that is one hundred percent. You guys, we love you. We do subscribe download. We're going to get Smash smash that smash. Yeah, that's great. Subscribe download. New merch is coming. We're working on it.

[02:29:55]

I'm so sorry. It's so, it's so, so soft. It's so soft. It's often guys we love you so much. Go bye bye.

[02:30:10]

Bye bye.