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Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoco. Com/callkonan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Jona.


Welcome to Konan O'Brien Needs a Fan.


Hey, Jona.


How's it going?


We're doing great. How are you?


I'm doing well. I'm doing well. It's great to finally get to talk with you guys.


Tell me, Jona, where are you coming from right now?


I'm coming from Tupelo, Mississippi, which is the birthplace of Elvis.


That's right. Elvis Aaron Presley, born in Tupelo, Mississippi. That is very cool. I believe 1935, and his house is still there. Is that right?


That is right. He has a whole section dedicated to him in one corner of of Tupolo. But every corner you turn, there's Elvis Graffee. I mean, he's just ubiquitous. He's everywhere.


Yeah. Well, he is one of the biggest stars of all time. I keep trying to get my hometown of Brooklyn, Massachusetts, to commemorate something in my honor. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I said, I'm the Elvis of... And then I can't even finish the sentence because I can't think of anything.


Someone put a cone in sticker, and they painted right over it.


They painted over it. Yeah, there was a Konan statue for eight seconds. It was made of butter, and a car drove through it, smashed it. So, Jono, what do you do? What do you do for a living?


Yeah, so I'm a used car dealer. So The business was passed down to me from my granddad, who pretty much retired out of it in 2020. And so ever since then, we've renewed everything in my name, and I've kept it chugging along.


Do you like being a used car dealer?


I do. It's rewarding for sure. And also, I like to be able to just not have a chain of command. I can just do whatever I'd like to do, especially with just being able to raise my three-year-old. She comes in to work with me.


That's so nice. You're your own boss. You sell used cars. How many used cars do you have right now?


It's a very small lot. I typically keep 5 to 10. I think currently I have seven in inventory, and then I have two out in the shop right now getting painted.


John, let me ask you a Let's say tomorrow, because I could jump on a plane, I can get to Tupelo. This is a direct flight from Burbank. Let's say I wandered onto your lot. Is there a car on your lot that you would put me in that you think I'd be a good match for?


I don't think that I would have anything currently that you would be real interested in. But I could put you in one of my cars and we could just tour around the city and I could show you all over to show you all those Elvis faces. Oh, that's great. I don't think- That's cool.


No, first of all, I've owned all kinds of cars. I had a '73 Plymouth Valiant once. I had an Asuzu Opal that I bought used at LAX. I had a Ford Taurus. I've had many kinds of cars. I've enjoyed them all. I'm not a car snob, so you might have a car that I would really like, but I really like the way you just said, Hey, you could just hop in the car and we could go for a ride. You seem like a very nice, chill person. Do you get that a lot? Do people tell you that?


Yes, they do. I usually just try to keep a very calm demeanor in any situation.


Wow, you're like the opposite of me.


Yeah. It's so cool. Yeah, he really is. Honestly, he really is.


It's like I found my- He puts us at ease. I found my opposite because you're very relaxed and you seem like you take life as it comes. I've never done that. I I fight every day. I fight the day from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep. Just battling it, battling time, battling my own existence. Sorry, this got really intense.


Well, it's funny because a lot of people will say that I'm the opposite of how a typical car salesman would act. A lot of them, they're very direct and they can be pushy, almost.


Right. They can pressure you. I mean, I asked you outright, if I come to Tupelo, what car would I buy? And you went, oh, I don't know if I have a car for you. Maybe I'll just drive you around.


You're actually losing money on this.


Yeah. Don't worry. I'll pay for the gas. I'll buy you some lunch. I mean, you do seem like someone who, if I showed up, you wouldn't put any pressure on me at all to buy a car.


No, not at all. I try to Honestly, it's almost like a sales pitch to just say, hey, no pressure. Check it out. If you want it, take it home with you. And so people really, people like that. They don't like to feel like someone's just being right over top of them about a vehicle or anything, really. So that's my approach with not just the sales, but just life in general. Just take things as it comes.


I bet you you're the friend that would pretty much do anything for anybody. You seem like that. Yeah.


I try to. I try to be there for anybody who needs me, pretty much.


I can't get past the fact that you bought a car at LAX. What the hell happened there? I know.


Oh, I know the story. It was years ago. My writing partner at the time, Greg Danielson, and when we first came to LA in '85 and didn't know anything, there was, I think, a company rent a wreck. You could rent a beat-up old car. And we rented it. And then not knowing anything said, How much would it be just to buy this? And the guy looked at us like, You're kidding, right? This thing's barely a car. But we bought it for, I think, $700 or something. Which one was that? The Asuzu Opal, a 1977 Isuzu Opal. And it had a sticker on the back that said, I heart my... And then the head of a poodle. And it had a racing stripe, a four-cylinder car. With a racing- With a four-cylinder car with a racing stripe, which is like... It is like putting a spoiler on a turtle. That's great. We drove this car around, and then I bought it from Greg. I was like, That sucker let this thing out of his mitts.


You bought him out?


I bought him out. At twice the price. Then didn't understand why I'd take a young lady out on a date and she'd get in the car and it looked like A family of six had been murdered in the back seat with a machete. The seat was... Anyway, this is a car even you couldn't sell, Jona. I drove it around LA for about two and a half years.


Jona, what's the strangest car you've had to sell? Is there any oddities or anything?


There's not been anything that's just really stood out. However, what comes to mind with that question, though, is my granddad had this limo at one point. He had purchased it from an auction, and so he had a limo. And he sold it to somebody, but somebody come up and wanted it. You should drive around in a limo, but you're driving it.


Oh, that'd be great. A stretch limo. It'd be funny if I bought a early '80s stretch limousine that had been used for 600 proms, and it has 140,000 miles on it, but I drive it. And then every now and then, Sony, you stick your head out the sunroof and go, I would love to be the woo girl.


I've done that.


I'm wooed it. And then I'd be looking for a low bridge. Oh, come on. Come on. It just grazed the bun of your hair. That's awful.


Come on.


Now, it looks like you got some tattoos on your chest. Is that right, Jona? You got your shirt open. I see some tattoos there. How much How much ink you got?


That's what I like to see.


That's what I say to the fellows in a restroom. Hey, buddy, how much ink you got? Let's see it.


It's not weird at all.


Welcome to Jamaica, man.


Show us your chest Just Jona.


Hey, Jona, let's see that chest. This is how I talk to people. Hey, I might buy a car.


That's not the first time. Take off your shirt. That's That's not the first time someone's asked me that. Oh, no, is that true?


I'm thinking, I might buy that car, but first, let's see those pecs. A little different test drive I'd like to do. I won't need the car. Sorry, this compliment turned crazy really fast.


Oh, man.


No, it's okay. I honestly don't even know how many tattoos that I have. I just know that I have two sleeves and a chest piece. I would say that that might be 50 or so. I don't know.


What do you mean you don't? So you're not doing it deliberately or what happened? Did you fall asleep when someone tattooed you?


No, it's just that at some point after you've had so many, you just stop keeping count. I don't really know exactly how many I have at this point. But you are laid back. I do know. Yeah, I know.


You're incredibly laid back. Oh, I don't know why. I just... These tattoos, I don't even know. I'll just let people do That's so cool. That's cool.


I'm asleep, and somebody's just tattooing me. I have several. My friend is the one that did most of them. He was interested in trying to utilize drawing as a career, but he wasn't getting anywhere that way. You can't just sell pictures for a living, usually, like drawings. So he got into tattooing, and I think I was his first one. If I wasn't his first one, I know I had to been in his top three.


You let your friend practice on you.


Right. That's correct. What was the tattoo? But he's a great artist. It was actually, I think it may have been the bear here.


Right. That's cool.


That's really good. Oh, wow. That's awesome.


That guy's good.


Yeah. So I had full confidence in him from the jump, pretty much. I didn't doubt him for a second.


So you said you have a three-year-old child. Is that right?


I do. Her name's Ella. And in the days coming up towards the interview, I was talking to her about you and trying to say, Hey, dad's going to talk to Konan. So throughout the week, she had been just running around the house saying, Konan, Konan.


And A lot of three-year-olds do that. I'm huge with the three-year-olds. Before the brain is completely formed, they love me. And then once they have reason, the reason center expands, I'm through. That's really cool, though. I bet you'd be a really great dad because you're so chill. I think that's a great energy to get off of a parent, don't you think?


Yeah, I think so, too.


Just calm, relax, sweet. That's great energy. Yeah, I think so.


Yeah. I try to just be very calm with her. If she does something that she's not supposed to, I always just try to just be extremely calm with her and just set her down, tell her like, Hey, you're not supposed to do that. I just try to be very just chill with her for sure.


Then try and put her in a 1982 Chevy Chevette. Yeah.


Get in here.


With a high High interest, deferred loan. Yeah, exactly. That's really good parenting is put that kid in a car. I see you in a Córdoba. Did you have a question for me? Is there anything I can help you with?


Yeah, Konan. I was going to ask if you had just a go-to sales pitch, how would you word it? How would you How would you act if you were trying to just sell somebody just anything?


Anything? Well, it depends on what it is. I would say this heroine. Oh. Well, I'm sorry. Okay, maybe that's the wrong way to go. Yeah, no, no, no. That's it. Sorry. Yeah, I just was trying to pick a product that didn't need a lot of selling. I think I agree with you. I'm very bad at convincing people to do something. I'm very uncomfortable in that role. I've always more or less tried to tell people, if this feels like a good situation for you, then you should do it. But I think I'd be in a lot of trouble if my livelihood, putting food on my kids' plate, relied on me selling somebody something. I think you have the right idea, which is... I find myself as a consumer, when people are saying, yes, this is... When I go into a store and they go, yes, this is what we have, and I think it's really nice, but if it's either right for you or it isn't, I'm more attracted to that product than if someone's saying, you've got to put this on or you've got to try and drive this. You can't leave this store without at least trying it.


Then I just really want out of there instantly. So I agree with your approach. Yeah.


Well, great. I'm glad to know that I'm doing something right. I think so, too. I think you're doing a lot right. A lot of people seem to...


I do.


I think you're doing a lot I very much appreciate it.


I definitely think everyone should listen to, Conor O'Brien Needs a friend available wherever you get your podcast.


There it is.


I'm not interested right now.


Listen to me. You cannot leave until you try this Conor O'Brien guy. Now, first of all, he seems shrill and off-putting, but over time, you're going to find he's your best friend. This is the 31 flavors that came in for an ice cream. Conor O'Brien needs a friend. Available in two scoops.


Now with Sprinkles. I used to make up a lot of stuff.


What do you mean?


I sold watches. I used to lie a lot. When people would ask me questions, instead of asking what was the right thing, I just made it up.


So you tell them you can cook a chicken with this watch? Or just this watch works? Yes. This is a watch that I didn't take?


Yeah. Or they'd be like, Where was it, manufacturer? I'd be like, I don't know. Switzerland. And it would be like a Casio. Oh, my God.


The answer is always Prog. It was made in prog.


No, I know. So you would just lie. I would. And people would believe me. Well, of course they would. Because they like people who know what they're talking about.


But you didn't know what you were talking about.


Yeah, but they didn't know that I didn't know what I was talking about.


People like someone who they think knows what they're talking about. You know what's interesting? Jona and Sona are both very chill. Jona, you're one of the more chill, relaxed, centered people I've met. Sona, to your credit, you are a very relaxed person who knows herself and is confident in herself. Yet you're very different types I love that relaxed. Jona seems principled and honest, and you will say anything. You'll just tell people absolute bullshit, something Jona would never do.


I wasn't even working on commission. It didn't matter.


You weren't even selling watches. No. You were just in the store. I'm definitely team Jona, not team Sona. Well, Jona, it was very nice talking to you. If I get to Tupelo, which I'd love to do, I've never been there, and I would like to see the rather modest home where Elvis Presley was born. I know he then moved to Memphis, went to Humes High School. His time in Tupelo isn't that long. But yeah, I'd love to go there. I would love to go and see it, so I would look you up and we could tool around. Whatever car you deem suitable.


Absolutely. Maybe I can even try to track down that limo and see if we can drive around the city in the limo. That'd be nice.


I may also tattoo you as we drive around, since you don't seem to care what goes on your body.


Yeah, just bring it on. I'm here for the experience.


All right, Jona, very cool talking to you. Thank you very much, and have a great day.


Bye, Jono. Yeah, you too. Thank you, guys. See you later. See you later.


Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ofsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive Produced by Adam Sacks, nick Lyaouh, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at EarWolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Erin Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kohn. You can rate and review show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. If you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with EarWolf.