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Hello. Hi, Isabel. How are you?

Hi, I'm great. Thanks. How are you?

We're doing terrific. We were told this might be a difficult connection because you're coming from a rural area. Is that right?

I am. I'm in Appalachia. I'm in Southern West Virginia. Wow. Southern? Yeah, the internet's body.

Okay, but you have internet?

I don't. I don't have internet or cell service at my house. So my church was kind enough to let me use the office here.

Okay, so you have no internet, no cell service at home, you drove to your church and you're using their cell service that you can talk to us right now from West Virginia. Yeah. Wow, that's pretty amazing. Thank you for going to all that trouble. I'm just curious, if you have no cell service at home and no internet, are you able to listen to this podcast regularly?

Yes. I'm actually a huge fan. I'm a day-one listener. I've been living rurally since 2018 without regular cell service at home and podcasts you can download while you're in town and then listen to them at home. So they're my one real form of entertainment. So yes, I definitely listen regularly.

Well, first of all, I love that. I love that that's cool. That's amazing. It's actually, as a fan, you're making more of a commitment because you must sometimes drive home. How long a drive is it for you to get from town to home?

It's about 30 to 40 minutes.

I can imagine you getting home after 40 minutes and you've got your freshly downloaded Kona Bryant Needs a Friend podcast and listening to it and going, Oh, God. That wasn't work.

Ten.

Minute.

Drive, maybe. I have a question. Do you have more than one podcast you listen to? And if so, you must have limited time in town. What's the ranking or priority of podcasts that you download? You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's a good point. I do because I do have really limited soul service in town too, so it takes a while to download. I try to do a mix of comedy and then educational things. I used to just always have like, I listen to true crime a little bit, but now I have a toddler and no free time, so I can't really put that on the speaker. Same with you guys and all of your cockroo jokes. I can only listen to it when he's asleep now.

I know. I keep saying we should have an infant-friendly show, a toddler-friendly show. We're trying, but we can never get there. I think it's time that... Is it a boy or a girl, your child?

A boy, Gideon. I have another one almost here.

Oh, congrats. Congratulations. I think Gideon needs to learn about true crime. I think it's time Gideon learned that there's bad people out there and there's murders that need solving.

And so two, three.

Years old.

He'll be a little superhero, two-year-old.

Well, tell me a little bit about your life because this fascinates me. You were living out on a farm, I'm guessing, in a rural part of Western Virginia. Is that right?

West Virginia, yeah. Rural West Virginia. Southern West Virginia. My husband and I moved here with Gideon two years ago. We moved here to start a farm. We're both first-generation farmers, so we're learning it as we go along together. We moved here from Northern California after the Dixie Fire. We just landed on West Virginia and are learning to live here.

I have to say, I am very impressed. Farming is difficult. It's really hard work. It's difficult. And the fact that you and your husband are taking this on, I think, is very cool and impressive. What stuff are you trying to grow on the farm?

Thanks. We're hoping to get to the point of self-sustainability. Right now, bees were our first major project. We have 13 beehives. We raise chickens. We have beef and dairy, cows. We've had turkeys, ducks. We're just trying to get to the point where we can either grow or raise all of our own food.

Good God. That is impressive to be completely self-sustaining. That is something I will never achieve in my life.

I don't know if I will either, but we're working on it. And especially right now, I have to say, I'm less helpful in my third trimester of taking a back seat to all of the dirty farm chores.

Well, I think you have a pretty good excuse. I have found that my rules for survival is there have to be four Whole Foods within strolling distance, six ATMs, a multiplex. The list goes on and on. But this is just hardcore simple survival for me. Those are the only places I will hike or camp. These areas that have.

All- Let me say I do enjoy a Whole Foods for sure and the Trader Joe's. I took some adjusting.

I also need soft serve ice cream available at the drop of a hat. I need an REI nearby. Let's see if.

You have a cow and you can make your own ice cream, and then it's even better and unlimited.

This sounds impressive. Tell me about the livestock. You said you've got some real livestock. I don't know anything about cows. Nothing. I know nothing about cows. I know that's where the milk comes from, and that's all I know.

Yeah. I didn't know anything either. It's been a fun learning process. Right now, we have five cows, so we have a small herd. Actually, two of them are cows, which means that they have had calves. So they are milk producers, Betty and Penelope. We have two that were raising for beef, Chestnut and Midnight. And then we have one Hefer, which means she hasn't had a calf yet. And then we have two calves born or due this winter. So it's baby season.

Let me ask you a question. This may seem stupid, but to the ones you're raising for beef, somewhere in the back of their minds do they know? Yeah.

Do you treat them differently? You don't get emotionally close to them? Yeah. Like a.

New recruit? Have they noticed that you won't look them right in the eye? You're always hugging the milk cows?

Do they often show you a picture of their girl back home?

Yeah. And you're like, I don't need to see that.

Yeah, I hate to say it, but yeah, I think that there definitely is some emotional distance there. I make sure that they're happy, but I try not to get.

Too attached. Maybe you'll change your mind.

I would. I would. That's the fear.

Isn't that ironic, though? That they have a shorter time on Earth. They should have a little bit more love in that short time, but you're starving them of that. Yeah.

Well, they're very happy. And my son goes out there. He just loves spending time with the cow. I think they get plenty of love.

I do have to say whenever I taste the meat of an animal that grew up with a lot of love, it's terrible. It's too soft. Yeah, it's not good. But there are steaks that I can get, and these are animals that never knew true love. And boy, is that a tender steak. It's a delicious steak. It's a special restaurant I go to called Loveless. It's one to do. These are free-range chickens, but they never knew love, real love.

They were just raised in a 1950 suburban house.

Yeah, exactly. I know where they were raised. I'm kidding. Come on, folks. You get it. It's funny. I have to say, you're a living... It's as if... I'm sure you have electricity and things like that, but it could be 1850 in some regards in your life. Do you know?

Yeah, I do joke that it does feel like 1880 for sure. There's a lot of charming things, but also annoyances that come with not being connected to the outside world except through a drive. But it is a quiet, happy life.

I feel envious of that. I think maybe the grass is always greener, but I feel like I would love to just do away with all that and be where you are. But I can't.

Well, I'm just going to step in. I highly recommend it. I'm going to step in and say that you would die within a month of some disease that no one's even encountered. I'd find a new one. Yeah. You'd eat a berry, and that's actually a perfectly edible berry. And that would be it for you. They'd put you in your Sunday suit and down you'd go into the hole. But I know what you're saying. There's something very aspirational about it. There's something where I hear about it and I go, Oh, that would be-.

Don't-i think you'd lose a lot of anxiety not having the internet and stuff.

Yes.

That would be so not… You guys are probably anxiety free, except for labor and farm concerns, right?

I think that things that sound aspirational in reality are always… They come with their difficulties too. It definitely makes life a little bit more simple, but we're still human.

Yeah, there was plenty of anxiety out in olden times on a farm because what if there was a frost and what if your crop died?

But that's legitimate anxiety. You know what I mean?

Oh, I know.

What you mean. No trivial anxiety.

No trivial anxiety. Yeah. Oh, this video cut out before I saw the rest of that street fight. Yes. Thank you. Yes. You know that? Dammit. These two guys were whaling on each other and then, damn it, I lost the connection. Those were things that old, honest babe wasn't worried about when he was chopping those logs. Wow.

Okay.

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I don't know how I would do in that environment, but I do think that being removed from all of these modern distractions would be somewhat helpful. But it is funny to me because we also talked to another fan who lived out in a storage container in New Zealand, and he was in the middle of nowhere, but he was listening to our podcast. I do find it amusing that when someone's living, they don't have television, they.

Don't have- They have running toilets.

Yeah. They're like, Well, time to check out these idiots babbling away in Los Angeles on their podcast. So that does amuse me.

Well, you guys have actually got me through some difficult times. My son was actually Gideon was in the NICU for a little while, and I used to listen to the podcast on the walk over so that I would arrive in a happy, laughing mood. So I think that you guys give me a big service to a lot of people.

Well, thank you. How's he doing now?

He's wonderful. He's two and a half and just the happiest little boy.

Oh, that's great. That's a nice story. I'm glad we were able to be there for you, even though we weren't there for you. We didn't know you were there.

For you. The perisocial relationship.

Yeah. Sounds like we were.

Responsible for- Sometimes it can get blurry.

I appreciate it. You should change his name to Coen. Well, the second one, we have to change. Well, the second one we have to change. Conan. Conan. We have to change his last name, too.

Yeah, who knows?

Well, I don't know. It sounds like you're... I'm very impressed. I'm very impressed with you and your husband and very excited for the next child to come along and you guys have a homestead. This is.

Very cool. I know. That's nice.

Yeah.

It says here you have 22 acres. Is that right?

Yeah, we do. Yeah, we have 22 acres. And coming from California, I didn't realize that land came in that size. But there's, I mean, much larger farms than ours, but it feels like a huge farm to me. It feels like endless possibility there. It's a really beautiful place.

I think you had a question for us, I believe. Is that right? Do you have a question?

Yeah, I do. Do you think that you could live without reliable daily Internet or cell phone access? And if you could, what would you do to fill your time?

I will say for myself I don't know if I definitely could. Meaning I think I would be a happier person. I honestly think it would be great if I wasn't constantly texting or answering texts or getting emails. I think I would probably read more and I would journal. I don't know. I do think that there would... I don't think I would miss that. I'd have pangs or moments where I missed it, but we didn't live... I'm older than you guys, and I didn't have internet for a big chunk of my life and never knew what... I didn't have it. I didn't miss it when I didn't have it, so I don't think I would miss it again. I'd be happy if it was enforced and I didn't have it.

What about you? Yeah, I wish it would be taken from me because for the job, for many other things, I have to have it. I do take breaks a couple of times a year, but it's miserable. And I wish I was just-.

Also, I sometimes think, What if I could become a master woodworker? Yeah. Eduardo is giggling. But then I think nick Offerman is a master woodworker, and he also goes on the internet. Clearly, that's not stopping me from being a master woodworker. Now, I think there are no skills that are beingThere's no skills that are being stopped by my having access to the internet. But I like to imagine that if you took away my internet, suddenly I'd be one of the great eye surgeons of all time. That's the thing. Yeah, that's what I would do.

Can you take away our internet? I would love someone to take away my internet. I couldn't do this job.

Well, you're welcome to come out here.

For a visit. Yeah, you know what? Do you have a place where Gorley and I could stay on these 22 acres?

We do, actually. So when we first came to West Virginia, we drove across the country looking for a home in our RV. We still have a 30-foot RV that you're welcome to stay in. It's very cozy.

Basically, it's almost like we're in an RV now whenever we're in this studio. I think, Gorley and I, yeah, that's something we.

Should think about. Oh, no, I'm a no.

That's a hard pass for me. Okay. Thank you. I'm not the RV.

I can tell you that anyone… Yeah, well, all the hashtag VanLife I see on the internet now, I know that they're all lying. It is not as.

Fun as it looks. Isabel, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to show up and I'm going to have with me a drifter I met along the way who I cannot vouch for. We are going to live on your property and we're going to look after your family. Are you cool with that?

If you help with the.

Farm chores, sure. He's going to have a faraway stair. Anyway, you'll see, we're showing up.

Eventually, you'll go but he might.

Stick around. Yeah, I may leave to get back here to my family and my job, but Pete, he's going to stay with you.

He'll be a new friend.

We don't know his last name.

He doesn't.

Yeah, he's got a Twitch. Well, Isabel, it was very nice talking to you. Best of luck with your second child, and congratulations. Thank you. And really cool. I think what you're doing is very impressive, and you and your husband have a lot of character and fortitude to be doing that. I think it's very cool.

Thanks. Well, definitely it was a lot of fun.

All right, we'll keep listening to those podcasts. Even if it's snowing, if there's a storm, if you're risking your life to get to town for the next download, don't miss it, okay? It's more important than feeding the children. Do you understand?

I'll remember that.

All right, you take care.

Bye-bye. Thank you, Isabel.

Thank you so much. Have a good day.

Conan O'Brien Needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Cessian, and Matt Gordley. Produced by me, Matt Gordley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, nick Leau, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Themed song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blaert, and our Associate Talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Mellnik, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista, and Rick Kohn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Cocoa production in Association with Irois.