Cheryl, I think I've missed you, I've missed you so much.
All right, let's stop all the lies and let's get this show started. This is don't ask Tig like Tig Notaro, and you're asking and asking and asking repeatedly, Will.
Yeah. Today, I have my friend, the very funny Cheryl Hines, Big Cheryl.
Are we getting are we going to give lots of advice to people who need answers about. Well, yeah.
I mean, you're here to solve all problems that everyone has. I feel I'm so ready for this. I know you are.
And that's why I called on you.
Yes. There's going to be some compliments I'm going to give you and I'm going to have to do it with a straight face.
I know it's painful. Well, you know what I think? I think, you know, when you started to have this problem with my children. Yeah, it it started to make me have a problem with you.
And you you know, I was just telling you, I was just keeping you grounded because everybody thinks their kids are so cute.
And I was like, I sent you hundreds of pictures. I know you've met them in person. They are still nothing. OK.
OK, well, and that's why this part is hard for me to say. And it's not only are you a talented actor, you're also a poker face and you've actually won money.
I have. And how do you feel like playing poker has taught you any lessons for real life?
Yes. Oh, please. Well, I can tell you this. What are the things that they say about women poker players is when they play with their jewelry, like their necklace there, they haven't made their hands yet, but they're trying to make it. So it's interesting. So you could see when people are lying, if they're lying, a lot of times they they try to sell food so they'll touch their hair or they'll fix their collar.
Does this attract liars? Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. You have to lie in poker. You can't only bet when you have a good hand because you will you'll never win. So you have to lie.
So are you a good liar? Is that what this is boiling down to?
Yet while all sounds like you're a good liar, I'm a truth teller.
Cheryl, you're a regular on Curb Your Enthusiasm. That's true.
And it's a show where characters often act very rudely if we're honest about it.
And has that show made you think any differently about etiquette or manners?
You know what's awful? This is sad. I was in a department store and this older lady, very old, what, like 60?
Like 70. Like 60, like she's probably like 80, they say. And she comes out of the store and she has toilet paper hanging out of her pants. And I said I said, excuse me, you've got toilet paper hanging out of your pants. And she kind of be fair.
You've told me that to and to also be fair, I've had it hanging out of my pants. But go ahead.
This woman, she. She couldn't twist any longer, so she tried to twist around, but she couldn't and she said, Oh, can you get it? So I said, No, I can't. And I ran out before Curb Your Enthusiasm. I probably would be like oven mitts out of toilet paper and then gotten it for her.
Wait, why did Curb make you say no?
Well, because I until Curb I didn't realize you could actually say no to people and still lived through it.
But what gave you that? Is it just confidence or you just learn from Larry. From from Larry. Yeah. You just learn from Larry.
You know, Larry, somebody will ask Larry if he wants to go to lunch and he'll say, no, I didn't even know that was a possibility before, Larry. I just I said I said delirious. You know, most people would make up a lie and say, oh, yeah, but he can't do it on Wednesday. And he said, but why do that? That's even meaner. See, I like that.
That's my style. I won when I first met Larry, I tried to you know, I didn't understand his personality and I thought maybe he got angry easily or something.
But I remember we were on the same show and I went into his greenroom to tell him that he was going to he was next up. And I just took the initiative and called him Larible.
And even though I had never met him and I said, hey, Larry, you're up next. And he was like, oh, OK.
What do I what do you know? He was like, what do I.
And I said, wait a minute. I said, are you are you fine with me calling you Larible?
You say, Oh, yeah, yeah, that's fine. I'm not known for my impressions, but I was really surprised at how I'm going. Yeah, he's he's easygoing, but he's I'm straightforward. Yes. Yes, yes. I'm not saying he is an angel like Sheryl. Huh. Right, right. You are kind of an angel. An angel kind of in you are. You are.
It's really something. But what does I mean this is kind of off track. But what irritate what makes you like where could we see. I have not seen you. I've seen you pushed your limit on you and I worked on something years ago and I saw you push to limit in certain. Areas and I still didn't see you snap in that famous Hollywood diva type.
Have I seen that on set? I don't think I've ever snapped on set. And I've worked with some. Cuckoo birds. Yeah, see, that's that's the most she'll get from you. Yeah, OK, they were a bird, I think, when you were pushed so far to your limit, when I've seen it is you start laughing really hard because it because it becomes crazy. It's so ridiculous.
Life is so ridiculous. Sometimes it's not even worth getting upset about.
I mean a once in a while. Oh. Oh I don't got mad the other day because. I shouldn't tell people this, but my husband, he's a LaBeau bobbo of Bobby Kennedy Jr., he's he has a he has a real way with animals. That's very it's sort of magical. And most people cannot do what Bobby does with animals. So now, twice recently when he goes hiking, he has caught a rattlesnake barehanded for no reason other than to catch the rattlesnake and show, you know, show it off and then let it go for you with him.
No, no, because that would really make me crazy. But then we had our nieces and nephews over, and the first thing he does is show he shows them, you know, two and four years old, the video of him catching the rattlesnake. Oh, just made me so mad.
Like, I mean, I had to walk away. When I get really mad, I have to take a knee. I had to walk away.
Cheryl, I would hate to see you in that state. You're saying you get so mad, you walk away. Listen, you don't maybe call someone a cuckoo bird.
You know, I think I've made my point was furious.
It was very well, you know, I was in Australia once and I didn't know kangaroos were dangerous. And I was with my friend Kate Micucci. And we had heard that kangaroos gathered in this one area of a golf course.
And so we decided to spend the day heading over there and go hang out and play with kangaroos. And so she's filming me and I'm like getting in the middle of kangaroos. And I have I've been in Australia for three weeks, have not heard once that they kill people. So they're thinking, you know. Right. And so I'm I'm in the middle of them and I'm I'm kind of, you know, imitating them.
And there's this kangaroo that's twice my size staring me down and I still don't know I'm in trouble, OK? And then one comes running past me at one hundred miles an hour and it scares the other kangaroo off. And Kate, you just hear the video of her saying, oh, jeez.
TIG as the kangaroo runs by and we leave with this funny tape and we go and meet up with a friend.
It's a local. Who explains how I almost essentially got disembowelled? That's what they do, is they pin you down with their little arms and then they kick your guts out. And I too, thought it would be funny if one day my Wikipedia page, if you look me up, said there is a title that said, The disembowelment of the Tarot.
You click on that and talks about how I was in Australia and got my intestines kicked out of my sister and I have a pet.
If we die from something funny, like it's OK when you tell people how they died and laugh at that because, you know, it's not funny, but I guess people die from coconuts falling on their head while they're at the beach. You're at the beach relaxing with the pina colada and coconut falls on your head and you die.
Talk about a cartoon like that happen. Well, I would like to join this pack. If I die of something funny or something very sad. I still think it can be really funny if you if you just drag it out. Yeah. OK, you can you you can be in on it. I'll tell Becky my sister.
All right. I just I like for anything to end with.
I'll tell Becky starts to finish any information or after anyone else's something. I'm just going to end it.
OK, I'll tell Becky.
Oh boy. Oh boy. You go. OK, ok.
All right. Cheryl, are you ready to give some advice. So ready. Question one comes from Jill. OK, I have a crush on my boss, but we're both happily married to other people. Sometimes I feel like I'm being weird. How do normal people interact with their bosses at work?
Well, do you have an answer to this?
Well, you know. If you feel like you're being weird, then you are being weird, so let's just start. I don't know what she's doing around her boss that she's I think Jill knows.
I mean, she she is weird when she's around her boss because she likes him.
Yeah. And it sounds like maybe he likes her. I can't tell.
But either way, I think of when I was around my boss, when I worked at a production company, I bet that I could probably be taken for flirtatious because I, I was not interested in my boss, but I love making people laugh and like, really getting in there with people.
So I would imagine if my boss had a crush on me, she might have thought I had a crush on her.
And if she was listening, I did not. Let's be clear. I did not. I did not. But I enjoyed making her rights, you know.
Well, I mean, the truth of the matter is, you know, you do meet people that you work with. I think it's good if you're married to somebody else to write it out like it's going to pass. Probably. This is probably because, listen, from what I know about psychology, she knows nothing.
This woman is probably getting something from her boss that she doesn't get from her husband at home. So if he laughed at her jokes or if he makes her coffee or whatever he does, that's I think she's that easily swayed.
Somebody gave her a cup of coffee and really have you maybe you don't experience this in your house, but have you never walked around your own home and people just you don't show up on anybody's radar.
I'm sure as Cheryl asked me this from her closet, if your whole life sometimes you get stuck in ruts and you know, she to know she's getting some sort of attention from her boss, that she probably isn't getting at home, OK. Keep it in check.
Let it ride it out. Ride it out. And, you know, let's not get crazy. It's my advice.
All right. Well, Jill, thanks for writing.
Yeah, good luck with that. Yeah. You're going to get through this. This person has so many flaws that you don't even want to deal with and like, open that can of worms and get involved with this lunatic.
All right. We have more questions after the break.
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All right, here comes the second question, Cheryl, already so ready. That was a hard one. I hope this is not as hard. I hope the same, Cheryl, it was really, really hard. OK, you're allowed to laugh out loud. You're allowed to V writes.
I'm a 28 year old woman who works on a team of strong-Minded men I'm often talked over and talked down to, I know I have valuable things to say, but struggle, getting the confidence to have my voice heard. Any advice? Much easier.
You know, the first thing that comes to mind for me is I've certainly felt. Uncomfortable or intimidated in atmospheres where I don't feel like I'm at the top of my game or something, and that's not to say that's what you're going through the. But I think when I experience that, what helps me is to kind of make an actual wedge and say I have something to add to that, because sometimes if you just start in saying, well, the guy might do, you know what I mean?
And it's exactly what you're saying. You can't you can't be soft about it. And used words like, well, maybe I'm sort of thinking it's good to, you know, in the world of improv, we know that you always say yes to the person that just added information and then you add more information to what they said. So people like to be heard and they like to date knowledge. So if somebody says something that you do agree with, you say, I agree with that.
I also think that X, Y and Z.
But I also think giving it a B to say, I agree with what you're saying and just make that space for what you're about to say.
Yeah, I think that's a good got good advice. Thank you. You're welcome.
Also, if there's anybody in your life, be a woman who does this well, who can really get her point across in a group of people, watch that person and see how she does it and and and try to, you know, emulate how she does it. I find that very helpful in my life.
Mm hmm. You know, it might be good to have a notepad.
And then after everything that somebody says, just say, OK, well, I'll tell Becky, we're just just bring Becky in on a conference call and just be like, oh, Becky, Becky has some thoughts, but definitely don't say thoughts and feelings with this group because they are not going to that they will dismiss.
What if she says things like, you're making my heart hurt you guys? I'm so, so sad when I'm sitting here listening to you. Yeah, you do.
What you're say is this and that in turn makes my heart hurt. Very good.
Like, no, be assertive. Yeah.
Be assertive and create your wedge to get in there and take take a beat and just kind of make the room turn and listen to you and say I have something I'd like to add to that. And then and then let everyone turn to you and then say what you have to say. Tell me if that doesn't work. All right. But also bring the notepad and say, all right, I'll tell you.
Okay. So our next question, we're talking teeth.
Cheryl, this is right up my alley. Yeah. You got a nice. Yeah. You got some big ol honkers in your mouth.
I know people think they're fake and they're not. Why would I get them this big if I was picking them out? I got the biggest one I had. Why not? I mean, they're good looking teeth.
There's too big. They're fine. Listen, they're fine. You don't like your teeth not? No, I don't. And as a matter of fact, Becky, what I did, Becky, when I had enough money that it was like, oh, I could, you know, take these teeth out and get veneers and something smaller. And Becky, my sister said, I will never speak to you again if you do that. Thank you, Becky.
So I didn't.
And what if you had died in that procedure? Get tiny teeth, Becky and I would have laughed forever.
Oh, my God. We would have laughed at you. Oh. So Cheryl passed away this morning during a procedure getting tiny to getting tiny teeth.
Yeah. See, that's part of the pact. You could have done that.
OK, Micah writes, OK, how do you explain to a five year old that it is completely natural for the teeth in your head to fall out of your face?
Hmm. Here's what I think right off the bat. Yeah, you don't. And every time a tooth falls out, act shocked and horrified if this never happens. Yeah. Oh, you're alone.
Do you have any any thoughts on it?
I'm going to agree to disagree with you on this, BTIG. I think it's better to downplay it. I think it's better to. You talk about the dog's teeth, when dogs are puppies, they have puppy teeth and they they fall out, make room for big dog teeth. So it's just how things are done. It's not a big deal. It's what happens instead. But you know what he did when when my daughter cat was little, I was trying to scare her straight about brushing your teeth.
Oh. So I said, let's look online and see what happens if you don't brush your teeth and you Google image and your tooth came up.
I did not know.
It automatically takes you to like people who have done too much math and their teeth are falling out or rotting out. And it's it was she burst into tears, Cheryl. She was like, I know. I was like, OK, this is extreme. I was just looking for some plaque build up. But this is you know, this is. You know, this is worst case scenario.
Good luck communicating with that five year old Cheryl. Our next question is about finding a sense of purpose. Oh, OK. Speaking of OK. Oh, writes, I just moved from New York City where I was starting my acting career to a small town in southern Virginia. In a house that is a step up from camping, how can I bring a sense of importance to my life that has gone completely off track?
Well, wow, OK, it sounds like, oh, wishes could be in New York City acting and and having some success with that, but instead is in a small southern town in Virginia, basically camping. That's jarring. It's very jarring. But go ahead. You understand this question?
I do, because even being in Los Angeles, trying to pursue an acting career, you know, when I was 30, I was a waitress here. I didn't have an agent. I didn't have. I didn't have a refrigerator. I couldn't afford a refrigerator. I thought they came with apartments, they didn't. So I found myself asking that question and I wrote a play and got my friends together and we performed the play. And I. I just realized, oh, it's not about.
Reteaching. A certain goal, it was really about the art, if you will, of acting, of writing and performing, easy as it is to say, but you can do it anywhere. What are your thoughts?
Well, I mean, you can do it anywhere, especially with the Internet. Yeah. You know, you can you can be putting things out. You can see if there's any sort of local theater or acting groups or acting class, just someplace that you can connect with people. But I do think that making your own thing is really good and not waiting for others. Yeah. And that's kind of what's incredible about this time right now in in the world is that people are becoming more self-sufficient and they're finding out their ability and their power.
And it kind of sounds like, to be honest, that is setting themselves up for a great story of where you came from. That's true. Or essentially camping in Virginia after leaving New York City in the middle of a pandemic. Well, guess what? You made these videos, whether it's you can make them on your own, but you can also learn editing and and do scenes with somebody online or a friend of yours that's an actor and and start putting them on YouTube, a YouTube page or Instagram.
Yeah, it sounds like an interesting story that I would I'm curious about.
And even if you don't write something, do monologues from movies or TV shows and get it out there, put yourself out there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
Well, listen, before I let you go, Cheryl, there's one huge problem we have to solve.
And this is a new segment that nobody else has done. Right. Saved it for you or if it's called and I name this myself, OK, the segment is called Name that says.
With an A.. Yeah, yeah, that's correct. That's how I talk, you know that. I like for people to call me Miss Thing, OK, Cheryl, people were, as you know, they've been warned to not ask me for advice, but they did.
And and now they must face the consequences. This is a brand new segment.
Name that thing and the rule do not love if the rule is you have to use the name we come up with.
All right. Today's name, that thing is from Kathy, who wants a name for her pet. Kathy writes, My family and I are getting a mail golden retriever puppy rather than a traditional dog name like Buddy or Charlie. We are drawn to full names based on real people or fictional characters. We want a name inspired by someone who is like a golden retriever, wildly adored, good natured and lovable.
Any ideas about a name for our puppy inspired by a real or fictional person?
Now, before we name that thing, can we just note that Cathy does not realize that Charlie is actually a human name and it's not a dog named Charlie.
Charlie is cute journalistic. Cute Dog Day though. Yeah, yeah. I mean, my first thought, Becky, is is Becky Haines. Dr. Becky Hydes, by the way, she's a doctor. And I would say my first thought is, is Winnie the Pooh.
I'm sorry, but Dr. Vicky Heim is this dog.
How could you possibly go with the Winnie the Pooh when we're sitting here staring Dr. Becky Hines in the face? Is it is it a guy dog who doesn't matter? Doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. Yeah. Not Dubeck Behind's. Is there a male, Becky or Rebekah? Well, my brother's name was Christopher Earl Hines and and he when he went to school for some reason, he didn't know that we would. You just put your middle initial. So he wrote out Earl, but it cut off the L. So on his diploma, it said Christopher EER Hines, maybe Christopher, your Hydes or Dr. Becky Hines. OK, I think that's incredible.
Yeah. Christopher EER Hinds if it's a boy. Or Dr. Becky Hines fits a girl. I think that's right.
I think it's so right. Yeah. All right, Kathy, our work here is done. Your dog will be named Dr. Becky Hines or Christopher EER Hines. This is non-negotiable. OK.
When you're calling this dog home, you must say the entire name. And when you bring the dog to the vet, you must write the entire.
I mean, how excited are you to think of Dr. Becky Hymes on this dog's paperwork at the VA? Gosh, that's good. You. Thanks for asking us to name that thing. And if you're interested and do not laugh at this segment, might not funny that we are helping people. And if you're listening and need something named, let us know.
Don't ask to Gheorghe and let me name that thing for you. Cheryl, thank you. Thank you so much for coming on. Don't ask Tig. You are phenomenal.
Thank you. I appreciate that. I feel like we we did a lot of good. Oh, we always do.
That's that's why the Lord brought us together. We do a lot of good. And is there anything you want to plug?
I have a new podcast. Do you know anything about it? I do. It's called Tig and Cheryl Colon. True story.
So we we watched documentaries and then when we talk about them. Yeah. Me and you. Yeah, we do it every week. If you liked any part of today's don't ask Tig, then you'll likely enjoy Tig and Cheryl. True story. All right.
You can send in your own questions that don't ask Tig and we might try to answer them on a future episode. You can write down your question or you can send it to us as a voice memo. Again, don't ask Tig to reach us with your questions, Cheryl.
Take I'll talk to you soon. OK, we're out. We are out here, out here. We're down and out. So Dourdan out. That's what Joe. If you're enjoying the show, please take a moment to rate and review us, don't ask. BTIG is hosted by me, Tig Notaro. It's produced by Thomas Willette, Mary Knox and Tracey Mumford. Our editor is Phyllis Fletcher, executive producer Lauren D. Engineering and Sound mixing by Eric Rachmani, digital production by Christina Lopez.
Talent Booking by Raqib and Lulu Dubin. Our theme music is Friend and Tig by Edie Brickell and Kyle Crushin and listen to Your Heart by any BRICKHILL special. Thanks to Hunter sideman Lily Kim and Alex Shaffer. Our executive consultant is Dean Cappello and Gobsmacked Studios Don't Ask Tig is a production of American Public Media. And of course, thank you, Dana. And I'll tell Becky.