Transcribe your podcast

I'll tell you, I achieved success with Cougar and if you already, like, got through the hard part, like, why not just hang on the cougar?


Well, because he's, you know, a downhome guy from Indiana never left Indiana. And I think what I remember hearing is that he changed his name to John Cougar because his record label and his reps were like, that'll be a cool name. And he did it. And then he got success. And then he just thought, this isn't me. I just want to have my family name. I want to have my real name back. And so he transitioned back into just John Mellencamp, which I respect.


Nobody, so everybody goes. Yeah, this is Don't Ask Tig, I'm Tig Notaro, and I'm back from a few weeks off, just as unqualified as ever since I've been gone, I have been nominated. I'm sure everybody knows this now because it's basically the biggest news going.


But don't ask. Tig was nominated for best comedy podcast for the ambitious.


What are the Abbi's? I didn't know either.


Thomas, my producer, texted me that I was nominated. I was like, what is this? I guess it is the audio version of like Emmys, Oscars, Tonys, Grammys.


Now, we got the ambitious I'm nominated and today. I'm so excited to have with us. Actor, author, singer. Real life mother of twins, wife of a pizza lover and an actual advice columnist, my friend Molly Ringwald.


Welcome, Molly.


Thanks. Hi, Tig. Hi.


It's been a while and it's good to see your face. It's good to see you, too. You look exactly the same to you.


And I could tell we were in different states in the country because you have a massive turtleneck on.


Yes, I do. I have a massive turtleneck, which I've worn every day for about three months now at least. Oh, my gosh.


See, I'm just in the regular lesbo flannel that I can be seen and wearing in the winter. The summer. A bad time in a shower. Did you did you wear.


I didn't get to go to your wedding, even though I was very happy to have been invited to do wear flannel for your for your wedding. How dare you.


How dare you. Of course I did.


No, I didn't. I wore a black suit. A black suit. Yeah, a black suit. That was bold. Yeah.


So, Molly, I learned that you wrote an advice column for The Guardian for a year.


Did you did. And in your final column, you wrote that your essential piece of advice was, quote, listen, more talk more.


Can you expand on that? I huh. I don't really remember much about doing the advice column other than it took an inordinate amount of time to do. I mean, I thought it was going to be sort of like funny. And I like The Guardian. And so I was and I'm and I'm always giving advice to friends, unsolicited advice, I might add. But I thought, OK, yeah, I can do this. And then I just fretted over every single like it kind of consumed my life.


All I could think about, like I wrote and rewrote every single column that I did, it was it was incredibly hard. And I ended up feeling sort of ill equipped. I mean, once you actually put everything down on paper, it's not like just sort of offhandedly offering advice. And I took it really seriously and I didn't want to, you know, lead anyone astray. So I think yeah, I think my philosophy of oh, really?


This podcast is called Don't Ask Tig. And I believe mine was ask Molly.


Yeah, you're a better person than I am. I don't fret over any of this.


Yeah, I you you are sort of enviably Freda free or at least you've seen that. You've always seemed that way to me. And I always I always fret too much. I think. Well in on it.


I fret in certain areas, but with this it kind of just gives me the the free pass.


But you do feel like you should listen more and talk more.


I feel like I should listen more and one should listen more and talk more.


Yeah, I feel like one should listen more. And I think that talk more probably came out of like don't keep everything inside and reach out to friends because I know when I was younger I was, I was, I was, I had a big sort of perfection complex, like I just wanted to be like the best, the best daughter, the best actor, the best everything, which is absolutely impossible and kind of sets you up for disaster. But one of the things I would do it I was shut down because I didn't want anyone to know that I was struggling, which is awful because I think friends and like a sense of community and, you know, reaching out actually can really help.


So I think that's probably where the talk came from, just like talk to people, tell people what's going on.


Yeah, that's great. I mean, I hear people talk about how you should listen more. And I do try and keep that in mind. And and I think about. How? Some people think I listen too much, that I don't talk enough, and then there are moments in time where I feel like inside I'm like, Tig, shut up for just a second.


I mean, just one second could just shut your trap.


But so I need to find the happy medium, I think.


Yeah. I think it also sort of depends on who you're talking to. Like, I think there are some people who are very happy to hear me talk and there are other people not mention any names, but one of my 17 year old daughter who just thinks I talk too much and I never shut up.


And she's just like, just listen, just listen to me. Don't always feel like you need to, like, fix me. Sometimes I just want you to, like, give me a hug. And like, I really thought that somehow based on, like, the movies that I made, you know, and the television series I've done, you know, that I would like to like I got this I got the teenage thing.


But in fact, like, I don't just because you're an 80s icon, I mean, you're also a current day icon.


You know, it's not so much the 80s thing. It's it's the fact that I have done so many projects around teen life.


I mean, think about it when I'm on Star Trek. But I, I don't know anything about outer space. I don't know what I'm saying on the show.


I don't know what's happening. I can't possibly use that as anything to go on. I'm going to be in a zombie movie. That doesn't mean I know if I were in a zombie apocalypse, I would be the last person to ask what we should do.


All right. OK, fair enough. There is no way that you can put that on yourself because you've done all these teenage movies.


All right. OK, I feel better now. Good. You were good at giving advice. Listen to you.


Well, sometimes, sometimes I am.


But I, I, I beg that people not ask me and I show up every week and what do you know. People have questions. You know, I think about how I remember you telling me once how you do not like music from that time period from the eighties. Yes. Is that correct? I did tell you that, and I did feel that way, but that was a few years ago. And now for some reason, I've it's been sort of sneaking back into my arms, my playlists.


Like last night I listened to Squeeze and I told my my kids how I can remember listening to a Walkman on the beach in Greece, you know, my first movie. And just just like the happiness that I felt listening to this this album East Side story was so strong. And so I was and I think they they sort of like that. They like when I tell them, like, associations that I have with music. And so, yeah, I do, I do like Squeeze and I like the cure.


But there are certain bands that I really loved in the 80s that I can't stand to listen to.


Yeah, sometimes, believe it or not, when I'm driving around certain 80s songs that have to do with movies that you were in all here and I'll think. I love this song, and then I'll immediately think, oh, I bet Molly didn't like this song.


I love that you think that I it it made such an effort, it made such an impact on me because I made such an assumption, like I'm sure so many people do or would, that you would be a fan of that that music from that time out.


And yeah, I don't know. I mean, last night it's true. I did have this positive association with Squeeze, but a lot of times I'm just like, oh my God, I'm so old now. Like, it just makes me feel like, you know, I'm I don't know, not that I want to go back to being a teenager, but it just sort of like it makes me very aware of time which which, you know, is always, you know, a double edged kind of thing.


I mean, I feel wiser, but but then I also sometimes I'd like to be that 13 year old lying on the beach again, listening to Squeeze.


But can't you go to the beach and listen to that song? Well, not now. It's freezing here.


But what it warms up when it warms up. You better go to the beach and turn on some squeeze and report back. Report back to us. I definitely will.


Now it to 2019. You translated a novel.


Yes, I did. From French to English. Yes, I did. Very well received.


Is that something you always wanted to do?


No, no, no, no. Oh, God. You end up doing that because I basically do things that people ask me to do. If it seems something that's really hard and super challenging and I don't know, it's really weird. It's it's I can only say when people say like, well, why when people ask me, why would you do this to yourself at this age when you don't have to? I can only say that it's like people that like puzzles, because to me, translating just feels like I mean, I don't like puzzles, like the kind that you would like a little puzzle pieces, but there's something very puzzle like about translating because it's really hard and there's certain things that are untranslatable.


And yeah, like I just feel like I'm unlocking one philosophical door after the other and I don't know, there must be some part of my brain that really likes that.


Well, I'm impressed. And can you say anything? Just one thing in French, just for listeners, just beautiful because it is.


This is a Republican, some idea of it. Wow. Wow, that was rude. That sound good? That was rude.


I know. I know what you said. I know exactly what you said, Molly. OK, everybody heard you were not editing that out. Wow. OK, I take back that. It's good to see you. Oh, all right.


Molly, are you ready to once again what actually what did you say before? I think I said, what would you like me to say? I don't know. I can say something, but I don't I don't really know what what I should say.


OK, I stick with. That's rude. That's very rude.


OK, are you ready to once again put on your hat on my vice giving hat.




All right, Molly, here we go. Our first question is not a million dollar question, but a two million dollar question.


Are you ready? I'm ready. All right. Lynn writes, My sister won the lottery over two million dollars. I was initially very happy for her. But more and more, I'm getting jealous and judgmental. I don't like how I'm acting and I want to go back to being happy for her. Any advice on how I might do that?


If it's really interesting? I think I got a good. Sorry, go ahead. Oh, I was just going to say before I had any sort of success or was in entertainment on a professional level, I remember hearing I think it was John Mellencamp.


John Cougar. John Cougar Mellencamp. Yes, John Cougar Mellencamp. But he dropped Cougar, I think, in the 80s.


Why would he drop Cougar?


You know, if I was called to Starship, which a lot of people suggested I do.


I like you know what I've Tig Notaro. Yeah, I remember. I think it was him.


I read an article where he said and I've heard this also from other people, but it was when I was a kid, I remember reading this that he was saying that he.


Isn't acting weird, he didn't change its people around him that have changed and then are acting weird because of his success, and that's what this reminds me of.


Yeah, I feel like I've been on both sides of that, like I've had success and have experienced envy and anger from people that love me. And then I've also been on the other side where people have success or something great happens. And there's that just green eyed monster in me where I'm like, why are you not feeling happy? Why are you not feeling, you know, joy for this person? And and it always feels kind of shitty to to feel that way because you think like I should be I should be above this.


I should be a better person. But, you know, I feel like it's a very normal human emotion, you know? I mean, I feel like it's just whatever. And she shouldn't beat herself up about it. I mean, it I'm sure she would like to have a couple of million dollars, you know? I mean, who wouldn't you know that? And and I'm sure that she feels frustrated, like, why did this happen to the it's just so random.


Like, why did my sister win the lottery? And I didn't. But that just, you know, that kind of stuff just happens all the time. Like, no matter what you get in life, there's always going to be somebody who seems like they have more. Yeah.


And I think, you know, it's important and it's probably hard sometimes to remember that people's success and people's money. Their careers, their lives, they're they're not yours, you're not you don't because they have it. Yeah, it doesn't mean that you need to have some that they owe you that. Yeah. And it would be nice, you know, maybe I don't know if her sister has been generous. You know, maybe it would have been nice if her sister won this, this load of cash and said, you know what, I'm going to take the family on a trip and shared some of the wealth in a celebratory way.


And then maybe her sister would have. Who knows, maybe she did do that, we don't know, but you can't you can't expect it. You cannot expect it. You can't expect it. It's not yours.


Yeah, I feel like people I totally agree with what you said and that we are we are separate entities. And her her success or her getting something her success does not equal her sister's failure or vice versa. I mean, I feel like siblings very often get caught in that dynamic where, you know, if one person is successful in the family, everybody is like, oh, they sucked up all the success and didn't leave any for me, you know, like it doesn't work that way.


So I think that she's just got to sort of chill out and realize that, you know, that her sister doesn't owe or anything and does not beat herself up for that human emotion of envy because it's totally normal for sure.


And and just maybe it would be good to, you know, if Lynne isn't getting what she wants from the BTIG in Molly. Advice to show that it might seem like something to talk to a therapist about because it feels. Potentially long term. Yeah, just to stay in check about and it could continue to come up and frustrate her.


Yeah, and maybe there's a support group somewhere.


I mean, there has to be a support group for, like, people that have multi millionaire sisters getting that reward for everything. Right.


Not that we'll start one and see if anyone can build it and they will come.


Yeah, exactly. All right. Glenn. Yeah, I think I think we did some good here. More questions coming up after the break.


Don't ask BTIG is sponsored by Better Help in 2021, it's finally OK to talk about mental health and happiness. Humans aren't meant to keep everything inside and makes us sick, and therapy helps.


What is therapy exactly? Maybe you're not feeling motivated right now and could use some tools to help.


Or maybe you're feeling insecure in relationships or not dealing well with stress.


Whatever you need, it's time to stop being ashamed of human struggles. Better help is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to worry about finding an in-person therapist near you.


And you don't even have to see your counselor on camera if you don't want to.


Better help helps assess your needs to match you with your therapist and then you can start communicating in under 48 hours.


Online therapy is more affordable than in-person therapy and our listeners get 10 percent off their first month at better help dotcom slash t'ai gee, that's better. HELOC, Dotcom, BTIG join the millions of people finding out what therapy is really about.


We get support from indeed, hiring is something you don't want to mess up, you need to hire great people if you want to take your business to the next level. With stakes like this, there is only one choice. Indeed, indeed, Dotcom is the hiring site that helps you find quality candidates with indeed instant match indeed searches through the millions of resumes in their database to help show you great candidates instantly so you can do the part you really need faster meeting and hiring great people.


There are no long term contracts. You can pause your account at any time and you only pay for what you need. With instant match. You see a list of great candidates with zero waste. Want your quality short list fast you need. Indeed, right now our listeners get a free seventy five dollar credit to upgrade your job post and indeed dotcom slash BTIG. This is indeed the best offer available anywhere. Get a free seventy five dollar credit at indeed dotcom btig indeed dot com to offer valid through March 31st terms and conditions apply.


Why do you get deja vu? Why are you attracted to symmetrical faces? Why do you listen to songs that bum you out? I'm dusa the host of a new podcast, Deeply Human. When you cry, it can sometimes help you irrigate your emotions.


You are attempting to induce deja vu through virtual reality.


I'm finding out what we all want to know. Why do you do what you do? Deeply human. A BBC World Service and American Public Media co-production with Hard Media. Listen on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcast.


And we are back to our next question, Molly comes from Sage, hmm, Sage writes, I'm a 17 year old high school senior and I just recently applied to a bunch of colleges, most of them for majors that I don't see myself pursuing. And it seems I have no direction compared to most of my friends or kids my age who seem to have a clear plan on what they're going to do after school and in the future. I, on the other hand, don't have a clue what I'm going to do, and I don't have anything that I'm super duper passionate about.


I read your book last year. I loved it, by the way. That's my book, Molly.


And I thought you would be the perfect person to ask when I was just, like, really flattered. I saw that and I knew how to take it away immediately. It's my book in case anybody's wanting to pick that up. It's called I'm Just a Person. But anyway, thanks for getting my book, Sage. And what do you think of this, Molly?


Well, I think we've already covered that. I'm terrible at giving advice to teenagers. As you know, my my own teenage daughter has amply informed me. I I think that the advice that I have given my daughter, even though she is passionate about something. But it's not necessarily something that you go, well, if you want to be an actress, I won't be like, you know. Mm hmm. But so that's her real passion. But she's also really talented in lots of other areas.


So I'm always encouraging her as a mother to to not just go to school for acting, you know, to do different things. And then sometimes I say, like, well, until you really decide, why don't you just take a gap year? I think gap I feel like the older you like, the longer you can wait to go to college. I think the better it is just because I feel like college is kind of wasted on the young.


See, I'm all for that.


I'm still waiting to go to college, be I'll be 50 and this month actually. And I'm still I'm still waiting.


But yeah, it feels like what I always go back to in my life no matter what I'm doing. I feel I feel very thankful. For all of the things that I know I don't want to do, and I'm kind of going through that right now in my life, and I I'm very lucky. My career has been really fun and exciting and I've had success and I've had experiences doing things. That I was curious about. And I also know now I don't want to do it, and and it feels really, really good.


It feels. I don't feel like a failure. I don't feel like it was a waste of time. I really feel like I know more than any anything what I want to do.


And do you feel like you you always had that certainty? The. My fantasy was to do stand up, and I never thought that I was going to be able to do something like that, it felt like only people like Paula Poundstone and Richard Pryor and Ellen and people like that got to do. And then when I did it, I just thought I would only do open mics. I just I thought, OK, well, my dream came true.


I got to try this out. And then it just kind of snowballed and went from there. And and I've gotten to do a lot of cool things, but some of the coolest things that I've gotten to do is the stuff I don't ever want to do again. And I feel so lucky for those things. And it's kind of reminds me of those people that. You date and you think that you'll be devastated if if you're not with them, and then life goes on and you're like, yeah, I'm glad I'm not with them.




So for sure, yeah. I feel like I, I always I mean, I always knew I wanted to be an actor. Well actually when I was really young I said I wanted to be an entertainer. Yeah. Like that.


Because that's what because I sang and I danced and I act and I just like you and you, you translate books, I mean you do everything. Well, I didn't know anything that I wanted to translate books. I find that I have learned I always knew that I wanted to be like an actor and I knew that I wanted to be a mother. Like I've always known that I wanted like ever since I was little, I was one of those kids that there was just no question that that's what I wanted to do.


But then there's other things that I do that I feel like I didn't know that I wanted to do it until I was older. Like, I, I always kind of liked writing, but I didn't know that that that was going to become a passion. But going back to our friends stage, I think the the most sage advice I could give Sage would like to thank you, would be just whatever she does, make sure that she's not doing it for someone else.


Mhm. And make sure that she doesn't go to college for something that her parents want her to do.


I couldn't agree more. Sage, it's it's a tough time to be a high school senior, but Molly and I believe in you, right. Yes, we absolutely do.


And our next question is from Veronica, who left a voicemail for us.


This is my question for you regarding where I should move after I finished graduate school. I grew up in Duluth, Minnesota. Snow makes me want to dig a hole and live there for the winter, but I also can't really handle heat. So where would you recommend going? Hunting for someone that would like zero snow but would not like it to go above 80 degrees? Thanks.


Bye, Veronica. Wow. I mean, the first thing that comes to mind, which I don't know. If this is quite right, but San Diego, yeah, I think it gets higher than 80 degrees there, but I was actually thinking San Francisco.


Oh yeah. Yeah.


Or like the Bay Area because. But it snows up there to not not not in the Bay Area. If I know Veronica, I don't wish I but I feel I do.


I bet she doesn't like rain either.


Yeah, well I don't, I don't like rain but I, I mean she doesn't, she doesn't like heat so I feel like San Francisco is cool because because it's you know, it's, it has all that you know. Yeah. You know, has all that rain and it's cool but it is expensive. That's the only thing.


What if Veronica is Lynne's sister who won two million dollars.




Yeah. Yeah.


She's sitting on two mil and she can move to San Francisco then. No problem. And live there for one year and then you'll be out of money.


But I do. I think San Francisco is a really good idea. I yeah, I think it's, it's good.


It is a little overcast. I feel like I don't like the rain. And I and I, I like sun. I like I don't mind if it's cold, but it has to be it has to be like clear and like sunny. I just I really, I really need light. So I get depressed if it's if it's too overcast. So that's that's my only problem with somewhere like San Francisco I'm trying to think of like where else I've been.


That's pretty cool. I mean, you've traveled a lot doing doing comedy. Are there any towns that you just thought, you know what, I could do this?


Well, that's a problem with me, is I can kind of see myself everywhere. I call Stephanie from the road all the time. And I'm like, yeah, I've seen here in Iowa City, just I could see us live in here. I could I'm loving Tulsa. I'm loving it. I just, you know, Louisville.


Hey, all of these all of these Duluth. I love Duluth, but so I'm terrible to ask. Portland, Maine.


It's weird. I've only wanted to live in two places my whole life. I've only either wanted to live in New York or Paris. Like that's it. I mean, every place else is OK to visit. I just only want to live in those two places. So I have like a little clarity there in terms of where I want to live. But I have gone to places and thought, oh, this is not like I feel like Virginia is is actually a cool place to live now.


But yeah, I mean, I truly, as a as I scan across the country, there's so many places that I love even going through Ohio. I love Cleveland. I love Columbus. I love Cincinnati. I love Minneapolis. I love St. Paul. I love Chicago. I, I love Philadelphia. I love dad.


Got a lot of love in your heart, BTIG. I just there's so many places that are so cool.


Yeah. But I feel like if she if she wants somewhere mild it has to be it has to be on the West Coast. I think what I would suggest is that Veronica, maybe check out San Diego, maybe check out San Francisco and and see see how those feel. Try those on for size.


Yeah. And Oregon too. I think Oregon is there's places in Oregon that are really cool. There are. Yeah.


All right. Well, Veronica, congratulations on finishing grad school and send us a postcard when you get to wherever you move.


Yeah. And by the way, you can leave me an actual voicemail with your voice.


If you call eight three three two seven five eight four four four, that's eight three three. Ask BTIG four and leave me a voicemail. This brings us to our final listener question. Molly, this one little mysterious since it comes from Anonymous. Hmm. I know. I know. Anonymous writes, Should I get rid of old love letters? I've been married for twenty years and my kids are teenagers. My worst nightmare is them reading about all the ridiculousness I did with mostly not their dad.


I was already thirty when we married. In my defense, I was cute, adventurous and liked to kiss people. He wasn't big on writing letters so they might get a skewed view on the number of letters that were not from him. However, I might want them for my deathbed. Maybe not. See, I need your help. I got your death that I can't even imagine if Stephanie came to visit me on my deathbed and I was reading old love letters, not from her.


Yeah, yeah. That would be a little traumatic. I think I my first impulse is no, of course.


Don't get rid of the love letters. I mean, they're part of you. They're part of your I mean, I would my mom and dad have now been together for 60 years. Wow. I think my I not they're not totally I'm not exactly sure if they had relationships before, but I know that my mom, like my dad, is the only one that my mom has ever been with. But she did have a couple boyfriends that she kind of, you know, dated but played kissy face with.


Yeah. Held hands. Maybe I would love to read love letters like anything that sort of makes my anything about my parents that I don't know, that turns them into a more sort of complete complex like I mean, just love that. It wouldn't bother me. It wouldn't threaten me. I mean, God, they've spent 60 years together, you know. Like what. Why would there be someone else. Yeah, I would just love that. I don't think it's going to happen, but who knows?




And, you know, when I think about it, if I found love letters that Stephanie wrote to someone or that somebody wrote to Stephanie, I wouldn't care. I it wouldn't bother me at all because I know that she had a life before me. And as long as while we're married, she's not typing up love letters to somebody else.


Yeah, that's something different. I mean, if I read old love letters that my husband wrote to someone or that somebody wrote to to him, I don't think I would be bothered by it. But I also feel like I've gotten to that place in my life like we've been together twenty years now. Yeah, I agree.


Hang on to those letters and let your let your anybody, your family, your friends find out that you are.


A complete whole person that had a past, present and future and maybe sift through them and maybe toss some that you don't feel attached to anymore, but I don't see a problem with it either.


Yeah, I'm with you. Great.


Anonymous. I think you need to send us a postcard to just keep it appropriate. Molly, there's one last thing we need to do before I let you go. All right. It's time for advice of yesteryear.


When Jerry brags about taking Jenny out, he learns that she dates all the boys. So as we say now, menstruation is just one routine step in a normal and natural cycle.


How do you choose a date?


Well, one thing you can consider is, look, I did everything you said, but my boss still hasn't asked me to lunch.


Molly, this is where we take a real question from an advice column of yesteryear and we try to do a little better. This question comes to us from 1947, specifically Eleanor Roosevelt's advice column, if you ask me, I'm 11 and a half and like to listen to mystery stories on the radio. My mother and father object because they are too exciting and limit me to one a day. I would like your opinion, please.


OK. And Eleanor, say, well, I want to know what you think and then I'll tell you what Eleanor said. But this is 1947 version of a video game, I guess. Or a sitcom. Yeah.


This is like roadblocks for that generation might tell a mystery story. My dad was obsessed with radio like he told me, you know, he was born in 1940 and he just said that, like just sitting there listening to the radio like that. Yeah, that was that was a good time by a fire. By a candle. Yeah. Which is funny because I feel like in a weird way, podcasts are bringing us back to that. That's sort of like a golden age of radio.


Yeah, I feel like she should be able to listen to whatever she wants to listen to. I mean, assuming that it's age appropriate, I mean, I don't think that they were doing a true crime stories back then. I know that's probably true. Know.


Yeah, it was probably a ghost in the attic or something. And yeah. And and there's like a lot of humor.


And then I bet what happened in the story is somebody went up into the attic and it was an owl trapped in there.


Yeah. I could totally that yeah I could, I could imagine that. I feel like Eleanor Roosevelt probably wrote her own advice columns. I don't think like unlike some of the other ones that you that you've played like I don't think Betty Davis was was writing her own, her own little nuggets of wisdom. But I think I imagine that it was something that Eleanor actually did. So I'm really curious to know what her advice was. All right. Well, I don't want to keep you waiting, Molly.


The answer is, I think your mother and father are very wise. What do you really get out of mystery stories? They give you a certain amount of excitement, but they do not give you anything that you want to keep in your mind.


I'm just I beg to differ, Eleanor. I feel the same way.


I mean, this kind of answer makes me want to go back in time for so many different reasons. Yeah, there is so much.


People were so stifled, people were so the worlds were so tiny.


Yeah, at that. And also Eleanor Roosevelt had a terrible upbringing. I mean, her mother was was like mean and didn't like her. And her father was she he she absolutely adored was like a horrible drunk, died of, you know, alcoholism and and she lost him really early. So I feel like maybe she's just has this this like view of parents that's like a little skewed, like, you know, like she was dying for that kind of, you know, parental boundaries or something.


And I don't know. That seems really strange to me that she would give that advice. But it I don't know. Were you thinking Eleanor would have better advice? Yes. 11 and half year old.


I feel like she would. She was she was pretty I mean, at least as a as a, you know, older woman. You know, she was one of the most progressive first ladies we've ever had, it feels like.


A time when you really weren't supposed to go against your parents.


Yeah, that's it feels like dialed in advice of just, you know, you wouldn't want to keep that in your mind and what are you getting out of this?


And, well, to them, it really was like, you know, your kids spending all their time on fortnight or, you know, or an Instagram like how many times have I said, you know, what are you getting out of that? Other than like it's just making you feel terrible. Like, I, I actually have that as that has come out of my mouth as far as my own kids. So, yeah, maybe, maybe she was thinking about it that way, that, that the the little girl should be like learning Latin or or something, you know, translating books.


Yeah. Learning how to properly ride a horse, you know, looking, you know, skills that are really going to need in your life. Yeah. Like how to how to set the table and have a Tea Party and. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, Molly, that's the end of our road.




I appreciate you taking the time to do this. I really, really appreciate it. It was so great to have you.


Hopefully the next time we see each other, we will both be vaccinated. And and I look forward to seeing you.


Yes. Yes. Looking forward to it. OK, thank you, Molly, by some.


Hey, listeners, I just want to mention that Molly just published a short story for Esquire magazine called The Only Thing. And it's fantastic. You should really check it out. You can read it for free on Esquire's website.


That's where Joe. Don't ask, BTIG is hosted by me, Tig Notaro. It's produced by Thomas Willette, Tracy Mumford and Whitney Jones. Our editor is Phyllis Fletcher, executive producer, Laurinda Engineering and Sound mixing by Eric Rachmani, digital production by Christina Lopez. Talent Booking by Marianne Wei's Production Assistants by Nancy Shiu. Our theme music is Friend in Tig by Edie Brickell and Kyle Crush Them and Listen To Your Heart by Edie Brickell. Special thanks to Hunter sideman Lily Kim and Alex Shaffer.


Our executive consultant is Dean Cappello and Gobsmacked Studios, you can always ask for advice and don't ask TIG, just write in with your problem or send us a voice memo. You can also follow us on social media at Don't Ask BTIG, Don't Ask. TIG is a production of American Public Media. And as always, thanks, Dana. And I'll tell Becky. If you happen to be looking for another podcast, check out BTIG and Cheryl, true story, where my friend Cheryl Hines and I talk about different documentaries every week.


Here's us talking about the queen of Hersi.


I was Teekay because I we have a dog door here so the dogs can go out. But I mean, if maybe if the house is so big you just call them dogs because people call them doggie doors.


Well, because I was going to say, I meant to say doggy door and I said dog door. And I just wanted to make it clear that that you had dog.


I know that it's I know that they're usually called doggy doggy doers. I feel like what age do do people abandon dogs?


But you still say doggy door. I know.


That's also like when you go out to eat and you get a doggy bag, you still say dog.


You don't have your dog back.


Yeah, yeah. You get your doggy bag and then you come home and crawl through the doggy door and you do.


Oh excuse me. Can I get a dog bag. Thank you.


Because that sounds like you're going to pick up poop doesn't it. Like a dog bag. A doggy bag. Sounds disgusting.


Find Tig and Cheryl, true story on your favorite podcast player.