OK, real quick, before we start this episode was recorded before the election, we have no idea what happened yet. In fact, I still don't as I'm recording this right now. So these are voices from the past. Also, as you'll hear, Oscar's connection is a little spotty in the beginning, but hang in because his power comes back on after just a few minutes and you're going to count me in, right, to get another three to one and you're OK.
Is that what you need? I would like that.
OK, three to one. This is don't ask TIG. Oh, Oscar. Hi.
This is your first Oscar. Is this your first time on a podcast?
Yes. This is Don't Ask BTIG, I'm Tig Notaro, and you're really steamrolling me here. We are not alone. So everybody goes. Today, I'm joined by Oscar Nunez, a few people may have seen him on the office.
Oscar, I'm here. Hi, everybody. You're in the middle of a power outage and you had to call in on your telephone.
Yes, I did. And it was crazy because, as Carol said, the power is out here. We're up in the hills. And I think the wind knocked out the power. So we're running around, there's candles and there's the generators. And my wife left, but she'll be back. Oh, my God.
Your wife left you in the middle of your in the middle and. Yeah, that's so sad.
Do you still have time for for the podcast?
Oh, nothing but nothing. OK, well this is an advice show.
And I'm curious, Oscar, do you remember the time we saw each other at the airport and I went up to you and I said hi and you pulled your earbud out and said, oh, my God, I'm listening to you right now on Jimmy Pardo's podcast. And then we walked on the plane and we were seated right next to each other.
Yes, that I believe it was Houston. What a treat. Yes, I do remember.
Yeah, I feel like that kind of cracked open our friendship more than ever that cracked it open.
We sat next to each other. We flew. You're not a great flier. I had a lot of fun. It was very funny and entertaining, understanding of the lifestyle and what happened.
The plane moves in in subtle ways, even if there is no what do they call that turbulence? The turbulence of a plane will dip and dive slowly, subtly. And you moved with the plane as if it was choreography. Most people just sit there, your shoulders and your head moved. You dip and rolls in some sort of slow choreographed movement, dance with plane. And I was very aware of it also. Your fingers were digging into my arm.
Yeah. And nothing of nothing but the light where it was. It was a very authoritative. I really. It was yes. It was a bloody mess.
I, I almost said, hey, a little too. But I didn't seem like she's you know, she's not a great player. She's doing great. And we'll get through this.
And I still I never got used to it.
You know, as I get older, I'm getting worse at flying. And you are getting older. The word on the street.
Now you know what else is heard on the street before acting? You are a certified dental technician.
Is this true?
Yes, it was true after all these years. You didn't tell me that I could have avoided the dentist. Save me some cash.
I'll take it. It was so many things. And, you know, I look, I was a certified dental technician. The title has not been taken away from me. I can still do it, but. But I'm not allowed to touch people's mouths. That's the dentist. I made false teeth and bridges away in the laboratory far away from patients. But I. I only did that for about half a year. I was really bad at it.
But if you were really quarantined with your family for five years, you couldn't go anywhere. Do you feel like you have enough knowledge where you could, you know, pick away at the plaque? You could you could you could do it? Yes, I could do it.
And I would need supervision. They would come and say, you did it, but it was done horribly. And let's let's try to rectify. But I would give it a shot. Yes. Yes. My mom was a dentist, so I'm not afraid of a plaque or a floss or, you know, cavities, things like that.
Now, Oscar, you're aware that people are utterly obsessed with the office. And a lot of people say they find it very comforting to watch. What do you have a go to that you watch when you need comfort?
I watch anything with David Attenborough. There's a show called Pinay World. Now, I like shows of travel and I like when people go visit old homes or old mansions or states in Ireland or England or gardens. Hey, you guys, guess what the power just came back on. No way. Yeah.
Should we have you call in on Zoome or do we not trust your capabilities there?
I'm going to go over to the computer and see if. My Internet is up and running. Well. Allow connecting, connecting to what?
Oh, I see you, I want to turn off the phone now, I had to turn it off completely because I couldn't. Can you hear me?
Yes, I can. So Hitzig, I ask her in such a better feeling.
Oh, so, so much better. I was I oh, I'd love to start all over, but I know we got gold so let's not get rid of what we have. Yeah.
We want to hang on to all this. Oscar, you've joined us with Zoom. I can see your face. You look like you did pre pandemic. All right. Here we go, Oscar. The people have questions. They tune into the show because they have questions. They're coming to me for help. And I brought you in to help me help them. I hope you have the answers, Oscar. The first question, no pressure.
Go ahead. Is about hair. Question one, the answer is 17. All right, question one German writes, I am a 43 year old man who is fortunate enough to have a head of thick, curly hair. I've been working from home since March and have not cut my hair due to the pandemic.
My wife thinks it looks great, but in my daily video meetings, my co-workers and clients can't help but to start by commenting on my hair. It feels like they're suggesting that it's unprofessional.
What can I say to shut down their comments on my appearance, which seems inappropriate for the workplace? What is German do? His name is German. Yeah, German. You know what's going to happen? Because it's happened several times. So you know the situation. So prepare yourself. Prepare yourself as soon as the meeting starts before they can say anything about your hair or how you look preemptive with a with a comment to compliment them before they say anything, say, oh, are those new glasses or oh, and then tie it into the pandemic subtly or those new glasses.
I guess you want them to shake things up in the pandemic or whatever, and then they will hesitate and go, oh my God, I was just going to critique German, but maybe he's growing his hair out to help him get through the pandemic somehow. Let me not say anything about that. Let him grow has his golden locks of hair and let me not critique him. So compliment them before they can put you down.
Like, let's say there's ten people in Germany's conference call. Does German make his way around the room and say, well, what a lovely bow tie.
Oh, I love your glasses. Where did you get those who does your hair?
Look at that shirt.
They are waiting to take their turn and take their stab at him. So you did it beautifully. Take that's because you've had training. If I were coming on. And then and then I'll take the towel sitting there and I'm and I'm and I'm him and I'm just I'll be him. And I'm just sitting here like, ready? And you're going to start the meeting. First thing I say is Tig. What? I haven't seen that green handkerchief before.
What's going on with that? That looks beautiful anyway. And that's it. Now you're like, oh, I can't say anything about his hair. I'll feel horrible because he just compliment me on my on my hair.
That's a really good idea because I did when you just even though I know you don't think my green handkerchief around my neck is beautiful, I did kind of feel a moment of, oh, thank you. You know, and so I'm not going to say anything about your hair. That's right.
And that's all he could do. Take I don't know what else he could do.
And we don't know if he has an afro, if he has a perm, if it's we don't know what he's looking like or what he might have gone from crewcut. To shoulder length hair that that'll throw anyone off. Yeah, it seems odd that during a pandemic that people would be judgmental. About hair, you know, it feels like you got to be a little you got to give people a little leeway here because they could be jealous of Germans here.
I say jealous. I didn't want to say you started. And I'm just probing gently.
Mm hmm. Anyway, I mean, I hope that helps. I know.
Yeah, I don't think it does. But thank you for writing in German. Maybe send us a picture so we can look at this hair of yours.
More questions after the break. Yeah, he has to send it in an address to Oscar's house.
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Don't ask to get 20 percent off your first order. And we're back we are back in our next question comes from listener question to Alyssa writes, How much should I be concerned with a potential partners precarious financial status? I'm a teacher, so I have a stable living wage, but not a lot of disposable income. Is it more important to find someone who makes you happy, or will the strain of a tight budget be the end of us?
What's her name? Who is it? It's Alisa. Alisa, stop dating musicians. What are you doing? Trying to find a gal or a fellow that has a regular job. Stop dating these poets and artists and they have great personalities. But writing it's. Yeah.
You think Elisa's for. Well, probably as a teacher she's probably drawn to a poet.
She's drawn to the bad gal or the bad guy.
Or maybe it's a good gal or a good guy, but just a poet that's not bringing in the hard core cash that Lisa, once I'm speaking to her as a parent, not a friend.
If I'm a friend, I'm like, yeah, go get your I don't know what the kids are saying nowadays. Go get your rocks off. That was when I grew up. They said, go get your rocks off and go have fun. But as a parent, I'm saying, hey, let's look out for the future. Do we want you coming back home and living with us? I don't think so. You're going to kick your little girl, Elisa, out on the streets, papa Oscar.
How many times must I take her in before I do say no more. No more. Please, please leave us. Let us be. She's 67.
That's the other thing I didn't mention. She's 67 years old.
She'll always be my daughter no matter how old she is. And you know that really.
Sixty seven. But I want to ask you, Oscar, do you think that you could be happy on a tight budget with somebody, or would you have the constant stress of of money?
I am and was a jerk and I knew better. And I'm like, I shouldn't be going on a date. I'm flat broke. But I would go out I would go on a date and be flat broke and be like charming and then only go so far.
Have you reached an age where they're like, enough already, we please pay for the bill and and, you know, and be grown up.
So you would just take people out on on your charm for four years and then people are demanding cash a little bit.
I might have done that a little bit. Yeah. I wanted to go out. I wanted to go out. I wanted to go out and have a good time.
Well, of course we all do. I kind of fantasize. Stephanie and I talk a lot about why I guess we don't talk a lot about it, but we have these conversations about what what if you weren't doing what you wanted to do, which is what we are doing, what job would you do and could we live like that? And I kind of always a little bit fantasize about I would and I've done this job before, but deliver pizza, I think it's a great job.
You get to smell pizza in your car. You don't have to be in an office or staying at a job. You get to go in your car, listen to your music, smell pizza, and then you deliver and you get cash in your hand. And then Stephanie wants to work at a flower shop.
You know what I used to do? Take people would hire me, God bless them, because I would have really good interviews and I would be really charming and I'm smart. And then after two or three weeks working, whatever job they'd go, oh, all he could do is be funny and make us laugh. You really is horrible at what he's supposed to be doing and they're like that happen to me all the time and we have to let you go.
And I'm like, I know, sorry. And I'd go on to my next job and the same thing would happen. Oh, he's going to do good here. And I'd plateau in two weeks and they're like, we have to do the job you're doing. We have to go over it because you're horrible at it. And I'm like, I know. But last night I had a dream and this happened there. Like Mr. Daniels, we who we think are great, but we have to let you go.
And that happened fifty seven times before I. Until you landed the office.
That's kind of my that's my situation. All right, Elisa, good luck and thanks for writing, Oscar. The next question is about celebrating a slow and steady worker. Question three. Fiona writes, I am very close to finishing my dissertation that I've been working on for four years in my field, one or two years is the norm to write a dissertation. How do I feel proud of myself and not like a loser for taking so long? Did you go to college, Oscar School of Hard Knocks?
It was there must have been tough. It was very expensive, just finishing school in the foothills in Geneva, a private finishing school.
Because I had a week I didn't quite people couldn't hear when I rapped on the door. So I had to go. When you actually walk into the school of hard knocks. No, I went to ask her.
You said that joke before I first time saying it out loud.
Every time you've been on a podcast that that's your go to joke, isn't it.
Is there it is now I now feel no Fiona. Fiona doesn't want to know if I went to college. I did not. I went to fight left and after the first semester then I went, what is fit? Fashion Institute of Technology. Oh, OK, I want to be a fashion that explains you wanted to yes. Out of high school and a dentist that came after. You are all over the place. It's all over the place. Maybe this helps Fiona.
That's not. I've had many jobs like that. I've had many questionable. Right.
But she's saying it took her four years to finish her dissertation when most people take one to two. And my point is, you finished it or you've been working on it. You're still working on it for four years.
So what so what, Fiona, and also don't worry about the time that you're spending on it, enjoy the time you're spending on it, because it's just time you're going to be doing something. If you if I know you're either going to be writing your dissertation or you're going to be down shooting pool on the corner with your buddies at the pool hall wasting time. Yeah. And if anyone knows Fiona, it's Oscar. You know, I think Oscar knows.
Enjoy the journey likely. Yeah. Enjoy the journey.
Be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there to learn and complete something like this. Absolutely. And it's nobody's business. You get where you're going in your own time and your own way. So Fiona, I'd normally say go out and celebrate yourself, but instead stay in and celebrate safely.
This is our final question. Coming up here, it's from Missy, Missy asks, My boyfriend sometimes gets drunk and goes on and on about how much he loves me and he has never said any of these things sober. Do you believe in the saying drunken minds speak sober thoughts? I'm inclined to only truly believe the things he says if he says them sober. What do you think?
Well, first of all, he sounds like a winner. Missy, good for you. Oscar, I asked to see Missy loves this man, and she's probably a little sad, she's probably a little sad because, you know, I've had somebody do that where they had a few too many cocktails and I was the love of their life.
And I might have believed it for half a second, and then I caught on and I started to think, oh boy, there's been some cocktails consumed and you wait it out, but it depends on what you want. This is your boyfriend. This isn't your spouse. If it was your spouse, I would be more concerned, although I am still concerned because, Missy, you deserve to be loved, sober and krunk. OK, yeah.
And I, I look, I'm paid to. That's why I take the show to make and pay, leave it and make it funny and lively. That's why. But in all seriousness, I do believe he loves you and I it's sad that he can only say drunk. And so there's, there's the problem. And I think that I would like for him to say I love you sober.
Well, of course, we all want that Oscar. She's asking for advice. Does he really love her? What does she do?
I feel like I make a cocktail. Should you make a cocktail? I'm going to say what? You make a cocktail and you hold it back and you say, do you love me sober? Now you get to drink when you answer me. What else can you. Is that what you're going to say? Well, I was going to say something similar, but not as cartoon version of that, like I was.
Well, I was going to say maybe the next day when he's sobered up, you could say, how do you feel about me? I notice that it feels like at nighttime you seem crazy about me. You know, just don't even mention the illegals is making me sad because she has to do that and I don't know what the answer is going to be because. But here's the thing, what my therapist has told me, which has really helped me in life, is if you're ready to ask the question, you're ready to hear the answer.
And I think that really applies here a well, because there's a lot of things in life where you can just kind of ignore things and you can make up your own answer to what's happening.
But. It's tricky when you have to really confront something and you really ask the question you have, you're ready you're ready to ask him or are you?
If you're not ready, then you're not ready to hear the answer. I think she is because she even she reached out to you and you know. Right.
But but why? Why the hell is she reaching out to me? Because you've been on the air since 1962 and been on Star Trek and you've been in 1960 to tune in to Star Trek.
And they I was not on the original Star Trek to your radio show to find out what what advice you have to give them.
We helped German. We help Fiona and Demi. We're going to help Missy.
Missy, best of luck. And we hope you can have a sober conversation with your boyfriend, Oscar. I need your help with this. This is this is a huge responsibility. This is the biggest thing we've ever done on this show.
OK, this is the segment called Names that say this is name that thing people write and ask for help naming things.
Cheryl Hines and I named a dog, but you and I are about to name a human being. Are you ready, Oscar?
OK. Wendy writes, My partner and I have a two year old named Jack. I'm currently pregnant with our second child and the sex of the new baby is male. What should we name the new kid? We're drawing a blank. Jack's only suggestions are no or truck. Watch. And first of all, I'm inclined to say, who cares what the sex is? Who cares that this is male? You know, I say I say toss that out the window, Wendy.
So Jack is the two year old and then going to have a brother.
He's going to have a sibling. So this is just a person coming into the world. Maybe. Why don't we? Why don't we go on the old Johnny Cash song, a boy named Sue, if we're going to get tied up on gender? OK, how about. Jack and Sue. Jack and Sue those, yeah, those are your kids, you know that that Johnny Cash song. Yeah, how about that?
OK, so I mean it's a choice.
You don't sound you don't sound sold on it. What's your what's your idea? You know, we named somebody dog. We named somebody's dog after Cheryl's sister. We named the dog Dr. Becky Hines. That's good. I like that name for a dog is so good, it's good. It's a good day.
I bet there's several listeners that named their animals, Dr. Becky Hines.
I had a dog, Mr. Holmes, named after Sherlock Holmes when I was little.
We have a dog now, Izzy, my daughter's August. We don't know that. We don't know their last name. We don't know this couple's last name. We barely know anything about him. They have a baby on the way and their two year olds trying to name the baby no and truck, we can we can combine No.
One truck. I was trying to think of something like that, but it doesn't work. How about tuque? Tucker, Tucker, Tucker Bounds, like truckers, not bad, BTIG Tucker's not bad.
He's really good. It's not. Everyone's named Tucker, Jack and Tucker. I like it. They're going to name it conjures up until if you name a kid, Jack, you're open to Tucker. Yeah. So Jack and Tuck, Jack and Tucker, I think it's also because I can't wait to meet these kids.
All right, Wendy, our work here is done. Your child will be named Tucker. This is non-negotiable. Thanks for asking us to name that thing. And if you're listening and need something named, let us know at Don't Ask BTIG. Thanks for coming, Oscar. Thanks for dealing with your power outage. Your wife leaving you right in the middle of the show. Do you have anything other than office repeats that you'd like to promote? Because I know that you love promoting reruns of the Oscar of the Oscar.
What you love promoting reruns of the All We've Been Through a lot.
Yes, it's been a roller coaster. We started out just on the phone. And the show started, and I wasn't aware of it, that I needed a countdown to get in and then this came up and then recapping everything.
Well, you're not going to regret your episode. I was, but not if you're stopping me. I'll stop right now. But no.
Yeah, I don't I have to have dinner with my family. I have to.
And when the thing is over, come back up here to the house. We're still in the same place. Just follow the road and make a left at the oak tree. Come on. No, I know. I know exactly.
Well, listen, when you when the thing is over, you should head down the mountain and just go down the road and then take a left and then a right and then just come into our backyard. We could do a distant social hang.
Oh, I might have something on Netflix call Social Distance, I think. And on Wednesdays I will go to Venice Beach and do a shadow puppetry. It's a free event. A free event. Any Wednesday, you're there in Venice Beach, look for the for every Wednesday you're doing. It was a shadow puppetry at Venice.
Yes. Well, good for you. I have a pod cast aside from Don't Ask BTIG. I also have BTIG and Sherrell true story where Cheryl Hines and I talk about a new documentary every week.
As far as Don't Ask Tigo, send in your questions to don't ask Tig and we might try to answer them on a future episode or we have a brand new option to send questions.
You can call me now eight three three.
Ask Tig four.
That's eight three three two seven five eight four four four. Leave me a voicemail again. Don't ask Tig to reach us with your questions. Thanks for listening, Oscar. Thank you so much for being on the show. My pleasure. Tig, love you dearly. Love you back. That's what Joe. Don't ask, BTIG is hosted by me, Tig Notaro. It's produced by Thomas Willette, Mary Knoff and Tracey Mumford are editor is Phyllis Fletcher, Executive Producer Lauren D, Engineering and Sound mixing by Eric Rachmani.
Digital Production by Christina Lokos. Talent Booking by Marianne Wei's Production Assistants by Nancy Shiu. Our theme music is Friend in Tig by Edie Brickell and Kyle Crush Them and Listen To Your Heart by Edie Brickell. Special thanks to Hunter sideman Lily Kim and Alex Shaffer. Our executive consultant is Dean Cappello and Gobsmacked Studios. You can always ask for advice on Don't Ask Tig. Just write in with your problem or send us a voice memo. You can also follow us on social media at Don't Ask BTIG Don't Ask.
TIG is a production of American Public Media. And as always, thanks, Dana. And I'll tell Becket's.