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[00:00:00]

All right, sir, can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you. OK, that's great. That makes all of this worth it. Here we go.

[00:00:15]

This is Don't Ask Tig, I'm Tig Notaro, and here you are asking, how dare you? We are not. Yeah, OK, this episode is with the unbelievably talented comedian Sarah Cooper. Oh, my gosh, she is the funniest person I've stumbled upon in life in quite some time and I was very excited to have her. She's here. If you haven't seen her videos, watch them. And, man, this is going to be good.

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Let's get started.

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I have to say, your comedy has very much excited me to the point I showered for this.

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Zoome What you know, how have you ever been excited for something that you didn't know how to express it? So, Sarah, I'm not kidding. I cut my hair. Oh, you did.

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Sarah, do not challenge me on this. I am I am not telling you false information.

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I really did try to get ready for this in a way that makes no sense.

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I am so excited. Feel so bad. I haven't showered in a week.

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I feel like maybe I, I don't I don't need anything from you except you. I'm so happy that you're here and I know I'm not the only person excited about you.

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I mean, you've clearly blown up so gigantically from your Trump impressions. Do you want to describe what it is that you do?

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Yeah, I mean, I basically just lip sync, trump sound bites and I basically take his improv, his bullshit, and I turn it into a little film, a little sketch. I try to like, make sense out of it and tell a little story. And people are like telling me, you know, I hate the sound of his voice. I never listen to it. But this is the only way I can listen to his voice is when I see your face and his voice is coming out of your mouth.

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Yeah. And it's this weird thing because I don't do anything to the sound bite. It's it's the exact sound bite that you would hear on any news channel. But for some reason, people are like, this is the only way I can listen to Trump. And I feel kind of bad. I've made people listen to Trump a lot more than they probably wanted to. But it's very funny because I'm you know, I'm pointing out how clueless he is and people find that very cathartic.

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And I find it very cathartic as well.

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I mean, did you feel like even before you posted this or did it, were you thinking there are people going to get this?

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Is this I mean, what you or were you like? Oh, yeah, of course.

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I'm now on Ellen and of course, millions of you know. No, no. I mean, I posted a few, you know, you you know how it is. You like try something. You're like, this is dumb. Why am I doing this? That's what's in my head when I've never felt that way.

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So I have never felt like anything I've done is dumb. How dare you even suggest such a thing? But go on and tell me how you feel. Okay.

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Well, I feel like everything I do is stupid and then I have this voice in my head, like this is a waste of time and I'm making these videos. And I posted a few and people thought that it was kind of funny and interesting and cool, but they didn't go viral. Right. So, yeah. And then when he did the whole like, you know, bringing ultraviolet light under the skin and injecting Lysol into your veins.

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And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, you can which you can do either through the skin or in some other way.

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I was like, well, I have to do this one. I'd almost given it up at that point.

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And then I see the disinfectant. We've knocked it out in a minute.

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And then he did this, he said these things and I had to make a video out of it. And that's when it really blew up. Gary Cooper, thank you so much for being on The Tonight Show. I'm a big fan and man, you're making me laugh. Millions of people have been watching our first guest hilarious take on the president's press briefings with Sarah Cooper's Trump Lip-Sync video that rocketed her to Twitter fame.

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I am so into the level of nonsense that you're bringing to what he is spewing from his bizarre it's so bizarre, it's so bizarre seeing his hearing, his voice coming out of my mouth, but somehow it works.

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It's the weird. It's absurd. Yeah, I guess.

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And have you heard from people in his world of dude, can I just tell you knock on wood, I, I have gotten very little hate mail. I've, I've only been called. Twice. You mean just in your life? No, in my in my life, maybe four times, but in the span of the past two months, only twice. And I just felt I just feel I felt like there was going to be this huge right wing campaign against me.

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That's what I thought was going to happen. And it hasn't happened. Knock on wood again, it hasn't happened. And I even have some Trump supporters that are like, oh, these are really funny. I love Trump, but this is this is a hoot. Well, yeah, I feel like what you're doing isn't it's not it's not vicious. And that's what is so refreshing because you're not he's doing everything himself. You're just slipping out of a chair.

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Listen, I'm going to give myself some credit. I think I do make him look pretty stupid. I try as hard as I can because that's my that's my intention. That's my motivation as an actor in these pieces, is to show everyone how how incompetent he is. And I feel like it works. And I feel like maybe they know it works and that's why they're not bringing attention to it. I think that's what's happening.

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OK, Sarah Cooper. Yes. You left a day job to do this, to do comedy. I mean, you left a good job at Google. Do you have any advice for people thinking about quitting their day job? Don't do it. Don't do it. Now, I'm just kidding. My mom always said this. If you want something done, give it to somebody who's really busy. And I never appreciated that until I left my job. And I was like, oh, I don't have a job now.

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I can do all of these things. And I swear, for six months I did nothing. Get as much done as you can while you still have that job, because especially if you're doing something, something creative, it's really hard to be creative. If you are pressed for money or health insurance or any of those pressures, it's really hard to be creative. So so try to do as much as you can while you still have a job and then create some foundation for yourself before you leave would be my advice.

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Wow, level headed, reasonable, smart, yet not are all things people use to describe me.

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Now, Sarah, what does your mother think of leaving Google and making these Trump videos?

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My parents are a lot like Hollywood. I'm learning, you know, how Hollywood like they don't like you until they see other people like you. Yes. Yes. I think my my parents my parents were like, bad idea. And then I have some success now. And they're like, oh, we knew it. We knew you were going to be great. We knew this was going to happen for you. You're brilliant. You always have been.

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But six years ago, they were like, you're crazy. When you say you've had some success, do you mean you picked out a mansion and moved in?

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Oh, no, I haven't done that yet. But I have been on Lawrence O'Donnell and I have been retweeted by Rachel Maddow, and that's all my parents care about. So.

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Well, I don't mean to make this a competition, but I've also been on Lawrence O'Donnell now. Yeah, he actually mentioned you to me.

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He said he didn't enjoy that interview that much, but he said he he enjoyed interviewing me a lot more than Ben Tig Notaro. That's what he said.

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Sarah Cooper, Sarah Cooper, how dare you?

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I'm just trying to keep it real, man. I know. Did.

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So, Sarah, let's get the show started with a segment devoted to our toughest questions that I'm calling anyway.

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Who, boy? Here, boy, oh, boy, I like it. All right, question one, Sarah, the letter B. That's that's all this person gave us. B. writes, My husband and I are both agnostic. And lately, our four year old has been asking questions about where we go when we die. How do I explain that? Nobody really knows without scaring the shit out of her. Do you have do you have kids, Sarah?

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No, I don't have kids. Well, see, I my my wife and I took our at the time they were three year olds to see The Lion King, and I had never seen The Lion King. And our son Finn wandered off and Stephanie followed him. And I was stuck there just with Max. And Symbol's father was knocked off the mountain and and died.

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And Max said, oh, what what where did Samba's dad go?

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I we had never talked about death. And when my son's fall over and hurt themselves at the house, I always say, oh, you kerplunk. And so that's all I said was I turned to Max and I said, Oh, his dad, Kerplunk. And so maybe that's something to bring up to get nothing.

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No, you never know. Kerplunk. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. I will have this fight with you. OK, how about this. How about this.

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OK, a four year old asks what happens. Mm hmm. When you die, where do you go? This seems more Sara Cooper style. All right, kid, you either end up in a hole in the ground or you're burned and placed in an urn on the mantle.

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Gosh, BTIG. No, no, no, Sarah. Sarah, let me know. Let me explain this to you. OK, ok. OK. I'm also agnostic and OK, here's the thing. When you die, it's not like you die and you think to yourself, oh, remember when I was alive, when you're dead, that's a new state that has no relationship to the current state that we're in. So these two states have no no relationship to each other.

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So when you're dead, it's the same as being alive. There's no difference because we have no concept of it. So that's what I would tell the kid. When you die, you're the same. Nothing nothing changes because really, when you're dead, you will feel like nothing has changed. You're in a new state. Sarah, yes, I love that answer. So you're saying don't tell a four year old you're going to end up in a hole in the ground or burned and put in an urn on it.

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So that's what happens to the people who are living as they watch you. That's not what happens to you. You don't you have no awareness of any of that. You know, what happens is your heart stops.

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Oh, God. Kerplunk here, boy.

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We'll tackle our next question sent from a guilty vegan after the break.

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In her new podcast Come Through from WNYC Studios, cultural critic Rebecca Carroll speaks with guests including ICRA, Brittany, Peconic Cunningham and Robin D'Angelo about how race is at the heart of the issues we face as a nation and what it means for our future together. Come through with Rebecca Carroll is available wherever you get podcasts. Welcome back, listeners, as you know, I'm answering your very pressing questions today with comedian Sarah Cooper.

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Sarah? Yes. Are you ready for the next one? I am not. But let's go ahead anyway.

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Well, we can take a minute. And if you want to get up and stretch your legs or make a phone call, you know, we don't want to rush anyone. I'm ready. I'm ready. I can do it. OK.

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All right. Good. Well, Kelly writes, I became a vegan last year and have adjusted fairly well, I have found that I am tortured watching others eat pepperoni pizza, so much so that I occasionally have a piece. How much guilt should I feel?

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Your thoughts? I'm vegan. Sarah Rudeboy. How dare you?

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And I am a very proud hardcore vegan. Our whole family is except the cat.

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And here's my feeling about it.

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You have to figure out where you're coming from with veganism because it has to be rooted in something that is really going to firmly place your feet in that world. And nothing would tempt you.

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After I learned about the way food was made and harmful effects on the environment and health and all of that, people will eat burgers or pepperoni pizza, whatever it is in front of me, a milkshake and say, I'm sorry, is this hard to to watch?

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And I don't miss it. I feel so lucky that I am not ingesting that food. So I would say maybe look at why you became vegan, Kelly, and what.

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That's harsh. That's harsh, man. Is that harsh? I mean, you're you're questioning her identity. I mean, you're basically saying I don't think you're a real vegan. I don't think your reasons you're basically doing the bachelor thing like you're not here for the right reasons. Like that's what you're telling her.

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Sarah Cooper, I am saying that it's one of those things that when you see something a particular way, you can't unsee it. Right. And so it shouldn't tempt you. But if it does tempt you, I also have compassion and I share your passion.

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I also am all for people making steps and strides into becoming more plant based and vegan and doing the Meatless Monday, because I do feel like. If we do not take care of the planet, there's not going to be any room for making fun of a president or explaining to children what happens when you die, right. The number one thing should be the planet. And that's one of the things that can help. And I'm off track. She asked about peperoni.

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No, no, no. I thought that that was very inspiring. I'm just going to give the alternate, like, non inspiring response, which is she is getting jealous of her friends eating pizza, pepperoni pizza around her. OK, so first of all, you're vegan and you have friends. That's great. Doesn't happen to a lot of vegans. So congratulations. So. So that's good. But what you're doing, this pizza's already there. What you're doing is you're actually taking meat out of their mouths.

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So you're actually doing a service because that means they're eating less meat because of you. So I say, you know, one slice of pepperoni pizza, you know, it might actually be helping your friends become vegan. Who knows? Sarah Huebel, I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to even add look at what made you vegan in the first place and try and get in touch with where that's coming from because. Subtext tag is a better vegan than you are.

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So, Sarah. I'm glad you said it, because I didn't want to have to say that, as we all heard it. We all heard it.

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You know, Prime, I'm also I'm also following it up with any step in that direction is so helpful. And I don't know if you know this, Sarah, but there's also online a vegan calculator where you can put in how many days or years that you've been vegan and it'll show you how much water you've saved, how many animals you have saved. It can make you feel like as an individual, you're actually making a difference. I like that.

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But, well, finally, you're happy with something. Let's move on to the next question. Let's do it. Our next question is. But we like to call a Korona conundrum. Are you at all concerned about the coronavirus? No, not really. We know that mandatory Mafeking work literally cannot mandate somebody to wear a mask, must not leave the house for any reason, unless, of course, you have a reason and then you may leave the house.

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OK, Connie writes, When I'm grocery shopping, I come across people in the store who refuse to wear a mask or who wear it around their neck where it does absolutely nothing. Some unmasked people even creep up too close for comfort when I'm in line. I want to protect myself, but I don't want to instigate some angry person into a tirade that goes viral. What is the polite way to address these situations? Connie, here's here's the thing is, I feel like if you are in this situation where you you feel like your health is at risk, you should take all the precautions.

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And that means wearing goggles or a shield and doubling up on your mask and gloves if you want them and don't rely on the buffoonery that you're surrounded by. And you agree, Sarah?

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Yeah, I tend to agree with that. I mean, I thought about this question and I hate confrontation, Connie. Sounds like she doesn't like confrontation either. And so, you know, my husband loves confrontation. He yells at people to put their mask on all the time. And, you know, he's fine with it. But me, I would just avoid that person. I would just kind of like make sure I'm more than six feet away from them, get them out.

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Well, she's saying they creep up. Yeah, that's the that's the thing. That's weird. The creeping up behind. I mean, who does that?

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Well, creeps creeps down Sarah and she's really at a grocery store and people are creeping up all around you. You gotta have either your delivery, your groceries delivered or go in there fully ready for the creeping.

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Yeah, I guess I don't go into grocery stores because I usually have my my maid do that for me. So it is tough. You have you have your maid. Yeah I have. Well I have my day maid do that for me and then my night maid will sometimes just make dinner. You're not telling the truth. Sarah, why you have not I just you're not telling the truth, all right. All right. I don't have a night, mate.

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This is not the dynamic I thought we would have, did we? Is what you thought?

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No, I didn't, but I'm enjoying it. But did we answer the question, how do you deal with these covid-19 creeps that are coming up over your shoulder at the grocery store? And I say you got to take care of yourself, so just wear a lot of extra layers.

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Yeah, get a shield, get goggles, put two masks on, put gloves on. And you know what, if there is some weirdo that's creeping up, have a jacket over a t shirt that says I'm contagious and then turn to them, open your jacket and don't walk through the grocery store wearing and I'm contagious shirt. But if there's some weirdo, maybe flash.

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Are you kidding me? Are you kidding right now? Yes. Yes.

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I could open up your jacket and flashed your I'm contagious t shirt. Oh, my God. I never heard that voice in my life.

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I'm trying to have different options. I don't know if if she has access to goggles or gloves or anything like that. Maybe she all she has is a shirt that says I'm contagious.

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So you don't recommend confrontation in any way. You don't recommend her turning to the person behind her and saying, excuse me, could you back up?

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I don't think that the. World right now is I don't think people are capable of such an interaction if somebody is coming up creeping over your shoulder and they don't have a mask on and you're going, I don't think if you turn and say hard, you say, yeah, back up or I'm contagious. Nothing's going to. You're not saying what you're contagious with. You're just saying I'm contagious. It could be my laughter, my sense of humor, you know.

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Well, not yours, but yeah. Maybe Connies Yeah.

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Oh, I can't believe I cut my hair to push for this. I feel like you. Do you think I'm kidding that I cut my hair and took a shower.

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No I believe you. I believe you want a hug. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

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OK, so you expected this sort of.

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Oh everybody, this is how I get treated now. All right. Well I really am hoping that Connie takes something away from from again, this show is called Don't Ask. Tig, what did Connie do?

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She asked. So our next question is, is from Kevin, who's struggling at the intersection of grooming and politics. Kevin writes, Is it possible for a white guy in his late 30s with nothing but love in his heart for all people to buzz cut his hair but not give off a white supremacist vibe in today's climate? Hmmm, maybe don't do the buzz cut, maybe, and if you do do a buzz cut, maybe give yourself a girl some pigtails.

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Yeah, that's not somebody that's going to try and hurt somebody.

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I say that you if you have love in your heart, then you shouldn't let how your appearance comes across, you know, challenge that. Basically, I agree.

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If you have love in your heart, then, you know, it doesn't matter what your haircut looks like.

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Kevin, that's all the advice we've got today and not all of our advice is good advice.

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And Sarah Cooper, before you head out, can I just ask what what do you think is the worst advice that you've ever gotten?

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I really wanted to be an actress in high school, and I had someone tell me that I wouldn't be able to be an actress unless I lost weight. And it really gave me a complex about it. And it was the dumbest, worst advice. And it really discouraged me a lot. And so I feel like that was terrible advice and a horrible thing to say. And you shouldn't say that to kids. That is rough.

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If children have dreams, don't stamp, don't stamp on them, don't stomp on them. Whatever the word is, don't snuff them out. That's not. All right. Well, I'm sorry that somebody gave you that advice. Me too. Now, listeners, I want to hear your bad advice to the absolute worst advice you've ever gotten in your life. Send me a voice memo. Tell me the worst advice you've ever gotten, and maybe we'll do a Hall of Fame, a worst advice Hall of Fame.

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Go to don't ask BTIG and send it from their.

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Sarah, as I've told you, don't go changin, thank you. I don't want you to go change in one bit. I think you're tremendous. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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I will hopefully see you at the pizza party. The vegan pizza party.

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You can't wait. You'll have to ask a long time. I'm going to ask that people send in more questions if they want, if they feel like any of this has been helpful, go to don't ask BTIG to send your questions, ask away. That's what Joe. Don't ask, BTIG is hosted by me, Tig Notaro. It's produced by Thomas Willette, Mary Knoff and Tracey Mumford, our editors Phyllis Fletcher, executive producer Lauren D.. Engineering and Sound mixing by Eric Rachmani, digital production by Christina Lopez.

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Talent booking by Rocky band Lulu Duban, our theme music is Friend and BTIG by Ed Berkel and Kyle Tresham and listen to Your Heart by Edilberto. Special thanks to Hunter Seidman, Lily Kim and Alex Shaffer, our executive consultant is Dean Cappello and Gobsmacked Studios. You can always ask for advice at Don't Ask BTIG. Just write in with your problem or send us a voice memo. You can also follow us on social media, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram at Don't Ask Tip, Don't Ask.

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BTIG is a production of American Public Media with.