The Guardian. Hello and welcome to The Guardian Football Weekly, a huge challenge for the panel as I ask questions that have never been asked before. What makes Manchester City so good is Olivier Uru. Underrated are by and favourites for the Champions League and more. What has happened at Celtic? Should Josie be giving Dele Alli a run in the Premier League? How funny leads this season. Also today, Cote's lookalikes and Mick McCarthy. Your questions as always. And that's today's Gardian Football Weekly.

It's had some feedback from a man called Keith Lyons who says, is there some reason why does such a poor introduction to The Guardian Football Weekly pod saying hello to the guests and asking how they are instead of introducing them to the audience, I presume saying hello, how are you? Sort of a normal sort of sort of basic part of saying hello? Anyway, let me introduce the 2007 student columnist of the year, Jonathan Loo.

Hello, Jonathan. Hello, Keith Lyons. How are you doing? Yeah, marvellous, thanks. Also on the panel today, honorary doctor of letters from the University of Wolverhampton, Jackie Oatley.

Hello. Hello. Hi.

And finally, so many, so many places to go. Go on then.

Other a man who had a pint and a game of pool with Kylie Minogue and Michael Hutchence without a clue who they were. It's Barry Glendinning. Hello.

Hello. I didn't have a game of pool. Just just a pipe.

Like to apologise to Keith for making a mistake in the introductions. Anyway, I hope you're all well. I now I'm too scared to ask if you are or how you are at all. Let's crack on with the pod. We'll start with Manchester City to know when it. Bruce, you mentioned Gladbach. Nineteen successive wins. They won their twelfth consecutive away match in all competitions, although I suppose this was in Budapest. Wasn't really a home game for Monchengladbach, breaking their own record run for an English top flight side.

Um, Johnny, you wrote about their relentlessness in the paper today. Can you can you just read it out?

It was a good well, I mean, we've we've seen so many great city away performances. They seem to be able to do this a lot easier and more reliably in Europe than that in the Premier League even. And yeah, from from the first whistle, essentially, they just kind of hunted, backed out who I thought actually were quite well, quite poor. I was expecting a little bit more from them. I don't know I don't know whether it was the fact that they were playing an away game, but it was their home legs.

So so they decided, well, you know, that the worst thing that can happen here is we go for it. And and, you know, you can see three or four week old, but it was it was really crappy and conservative from them, from a team who are generally really good at playing through the lines, challenging the back line as quickly as possible. It was just very slow, very ponderous. It was very error prone. And Unsere City just kind of did a number on them.

And even though they didn't have that many chances in the first half, there was just kind of relentlessness, you know, ground them down. And I think two goals was about fair.

I agree with Tony that that Monchengladbach didn't offer much, Jacqui, but I sort of think it's hard to play against Manchester City, isn't it? Because they you know, by the time you get the damn ball, you're probably absolutely shattered. And then you're so terrified of giving it away that you just you almost like a hot potato.

Well, you can substitute Brazilian wenching Gladbach for pretty much any club side in the world. He's going to struggle against Manchester City. At the moment. That confidence is ridiculous. The run of form is absolutely insane. I mean, twelve consecutive away games to one. Those is amazing. By the way. They've got another four in a row at home as well.

So the home on I mean, they're just going to extend this record, aren't they, beyond nineteen wins. But but yeah, they're, I hate to use a cliche, well oiled machine and but they, they are whoever they play against, they're just so confident they're positional play is it's just so smooth and the fact that they can interchange players so to keep them fit, to keep them rested, to keep them away from any red zone in terms of performance levels and risk to injury is the Holy Grail really.

And I mean the old saying about you never change a winning team. I mean, it makes you sound like you come from something in 1985, doesn't it, really? Because it's just not the way anymore. So the way perhaps call them playing is fabulous. And I love the way afterwards he said, you know, he was asked about how great his side is and and how fantastic and the great record. And he said we won't get carried away our next games in three days at twelve thirty.

Just getting a little dig in the fact that he has to play at twelve thirty at the weekend against West Ham. But yeah that brilliant to watch. The emergence of Cancela this season is fabulous as well. Another play perhaps people wouldn't have picked out the start of the season as being such a key player. But when you've got somebody can play either side at fullback in who can pass the ball like that, then my goodness, you're on to something.

Nick says, can you pronounce Jow Consuelo's first name properly as it seems to escape everyone? Johnny, you did a little video for everybody on social media. Did it very well actually.

Zhao Ziyang, it's kind of a diva with a little tilt on top. It's like it's a nasal juwono and Brazilian Portuguese. It's much more. SING-SONG Hualan. You like, but it's a lot more it's a lot more sober language, so it's you keep it very much within the within the width of your face.

That's how I like to try and think about it.

Apparently, Joel Moutinho is very, very keen that people pronounce his name correctly.

I was told by somebody at the club that you have to pronounce it probably does. Not everyone says Giammetti. Yeah, we Wolverhampton made, you know, Zhao Jawa, Utah.

But no, it has to be Zhuo.

And when he scored that wonderful goal against Arsenal recently and it was just manna from heaven for those of us who host a weekly Wolverhampton Wanderers podcast, quite good one apparently called them all.

In your view that you putting the WOW into Jwoww, but he needs to do that a little bit more often.

But yeah, definitely.

Zhuo Barry, are you enjoying watching Manchester City be so effortlessly brilliant?

It can get slightly boring just watching them dominate possession so much, uh, Brothy Monchengladbach weren't really at the races. I don't think that was really their fault. It must be very dispiriting to be on the pitch, unable to get the ball, getting more and more tired and then glancing across to the bench. And you see Kevin de Bruyne and Sergio Gweru, amongst others, kicking their heels.

But I'm really relishing the prospect of seeing them play. So Bayern Munich, if that happens, or PSG indeed, how could you not enjoy watching people who are so good at what they do, doing what they do?

Is that how you feel when you're sat opposite me on a Zoome call?

Dave says, Is Gabrial Jaysus actually any good? I watch him and feel Dwight Gayle would have as many goals if he had DeBruin and Silva, Mahrez, etc. supplying him chancers on a plate.

Johnny Yeah, I think he sacrifices himself a little bit and I think it's come slightly at the at the detriment of I guess that's selfishness that you associate with, with great strikers that, you know, you sort of stay within the width of the 18 yard box and you and, you know, you kind of wait for your chance. You conserve energy. And Jesus just isn't like that at all. I mean, you saw for the four cities first goal, you know, he wins the ball, he starts that move by winning the ball are coming right, right back into midfield and winning the ball off of Croma.

And, yeah, he's always been the sort of striker that will kind of run into the corners and run the channels and worry a little bit better at finishing. We'd be talking about him as one of the guys is kind of in the elite bracket of of world strikers. But, you know, he's he's not and and he hasn't been for a while.

That's part of why it feels like a strike system that they've built with Gundogan chipping in with goals and Phil Faud and almost playing as a striker sometimes.

And that's partly because it raises for all his, you know, great build up play and his great defensive work hasn't really kind of caught fire goal wise in the Premier League since he started.

Johnny, you wrote a piece about Angelina's relationship with Pat, because whenever I've watched him at Leipzig, I've always thought City have a have historically had an issue at left back. He's really good. Why don't they just get him back? And now he's made his move permanent to Leipzig?

Yeah, I mean, that's essentially what they they thought they would do. About eight months ago in the summer of twenty nineteen, they brought it back from PSV a really good season. Now, you know, the idea was that he would solve or at least challenge for that left by Rolet. It didn't happen.

And so yesterday, you know, a few of us were talking to to actually Leipzig and he was, you know, pretty, pretty strident in the fact that he didn't feel like he got to a fair crack at a whip city.

He said Pap killed me. He killed my confidence. And, you know, he was judged on the strength of two games in preseason and didn't play for another two months. I mean, in fact, I think he played about I think he started Fali Games. He disagrees. United and Liverpool, actually. So he got he got a chance in big games, but obviously he didn't nail down a starting role. And then you can tell he's still pretty bitter about Awassa to life.

He was on loan there for eighteen months and he's just just made his his move permanent. And he's been he fits Lipstick's system so, so brilliantly. He's kind of like a left back, a force three fucker left back left winger come striker. And it's one of their top scores in the Bundesliga this season.

And, you know, he definitely is happy there in a way that he wasn't.

A city says perhaps overcoat with the shiny city crest on the back. Why and how does someone at city tell him you must be branded or just Papp think this coat is nice, but what it really needs is a shiny, obnoxiously large team crest on the back. And Ringo says, is gladiolas jacket worse or just as bad as Alan Partridge is? Castrol No. I wouldn't wear one. I mean, I don't like wearing football kit anyway. I mean, I've never been a replica shirt man.

I have an awfully hurling jersey and in Scotland away shirt that I bought for someone else and never gave them. But like, I was waiting to go into the bank down in Brixton yesterday and this young lad passed wearing a three quarter.

They are no longer than three quarter length white Chelsea padded jacket, which just looks so incongruous on, you know, Brixton Road at two o'clock in the afternoon. So, yeah, it wouldn't be for me. Jackie, did you like it?

Well, it was extraordinary. I'd love to know the conversation that went on, whether it's a case of this is the Champions League, this is where all the money is. This is how we pay you so much money. So you have to wear this coat, bearing in mind that you are a bit of a leading light in in touchline fashion.

And I'd love to know what his response was, but it was almost like he's perhaps put his stamp on the club and now the clubs literally put their stamp on then on his back and it just needed Martin Tyler to commentate.

I swear you'll never see anything like this ever again. And I don't think we will. I don't think it ever will come out again because he'll have seen all the pundits taking the mickey out of him and just go, no way, we'd never wear.

And also black and masticated weight waisted bottoms and the Navy jumper as well that went with his black jacket.

I mean, it was very unpatched, like, no, no, no, without, you know, upsetting John Bruin and discussing lookalikes in a very short dyche way. David said with Bruce, you mentioned Gladbach improve or worsen their chances of progressing if they did a switch for the second leg, replaced Marco Roeser with Max in the dugout, um, of the current look alikes doing the rounds. This is a more complementary one than the man hitting the chair in the pub.

I just assume that was you. I didn't I didn't even think twice. I just thought I was you.

And then I thought I saw other people sharing it and hang on, nobody seems to be commenting on the fact that there's much Rushden of soccer erm with the with the four thirty two from being counted in the background.

You look good in hot pants Max and white striped shirt.

So much I did actually you know my wife isn't here at the moment. I spent I reckon about fifteen minutes yesterday practising at home just to see when honestly it's quite a sort of a liberating moment, just picking up a dining chair and just slapping it as hard as you can.

I'd recommend it to anyone who's having a tricky day.

Meanwhile, Chelsea won one nil in Bucharest awaya Atletico Madrid. Thomas goals conceded just two goals in these eight games as Chelsea manager Jackie.

He's had a great impact, doesn't he? I mean, I didn't think Chelsea was that bad before we got there, and I didn't think he'd improve them this much this quickly.

When I went bad before I got there, it was just a case of Frank Lampard not maybe taking them to the level, the ruthless level that the club wants.

They obviously want to go back to that style of ruthless trophy winning team that perhaps mutuals don't like quite as much as as they started to like under Frank Lampard, bearing in mind the, you know, the bringing through the youth players, etc..

But he came in just after Lampard had won the graphic up, tied pretty comfortably. And since then it's now eight been there only actually conceded one proper goal, if you like, the other one as an angel.

And that was the M.E. No. One against Southampton. At the weekend.

I was commentating on this game with Atletico Madrid and they were just so positive in this match. And you just really felt I just got the sense that to call it really put his authority into these players.

I wonder whether it had anything to do with the Callum Hudson situation, which lots of people in football completely frowned upon, especially with a twenty year old kid. But he did start them again straight away. And you felt that was definitely the right thing to do, bearing in mind it was his chance to prove to the manager to show his reaction. And it was a really positive one.

And you just think maybe that moment of humiliating the kid really done what he said behind the scenes.

But but my dad just press the reset button on this Chelsea squad and made them realise that this manager is not touchy feely, is not here to be nice to them. He's not here to, you know, just have smiles on faces at the training ground. He's had to ruthlessly win. And he said afterwards, Thomas, to call that the match made us feel alive. And you feel that he is that massive game manager and he really, really means business.

And I think he's going to improve them. No.

And even though I had huge amount of sympathy for Frank Lampard losing his job, don't be surprised that he didn't offer more in this case.

Yeah, I mean, I thought it was pretty disappointing. You know, people who have been watching them in in the league has said that their performances have been sort of on a got a little bit of a downward trajectory for the last five or six weeks.

And it showed here. I mean, again, we talk about this lack of ambition and they did seem incredibly deep, and I know that that's kind of athletic a calling card and has been for a while.

But it was I said, no, I don't know what they were trying to do, really, whether they were kind of trying to get out out of there with a nil nil or just just try and take the take the tie as deep as they can. And I suppose in one sense they have, but they are great attacking players. You know, they have taken teams apart in La Liga this season. You want to try a little bit harder to to do that.

I wonder to that point you make about about being at home, but not being at home might have affected Atleti as well, because I don't know what you think.

They had no attacking ambition, as John Johnson says, and Diego Semillon, who was just paralysed with fear for some reason when there didn't seem any particular need to be.

I mean, obviously, he was missing a couple of key players and Kiran Trippier and Yannick Carrasquillo.

But I was shocked.

I was looking forward to seeing this new Atlético that Symeon has built out of necessity because of financial restraints and various players leaving. And they weren't they didn't turn up.

Schwall Felix struggled to get into the games. He didn't have that service, I think missing Carrasco in particular, and also the fact that they were missing the midfield flair of your day, having to play right wing bat because they didn't have trippier, as you mentioned, didn't have a salchows. Well, who's injured? And Jimenez was injured as well. So Savitch came in. So they were missing key players. But but Suarez was very Suarez wasn't there.

I mean, he was fighting for absolutely everything. That man has not changed at all over the years. And that is brilliant to watch in the fact that he's just desperate to end.

He still has that winning mentality when perhaps the rest of his team-mates were lacking a bit of confidence and and vigour on the night.

But Chelsea certainly deserve the one when bearing in mind that their ambition on the night, if nothing else.

Jackie, do you do you think more players should be pinching and just pushing and prodding Antonio Ruediger as much as they can?

He just has not changed as I love you when you get the MO afterwards because, you know, you're watching these things happen very, very quickly. And he's funny because he's that sneaky that the bloke can even be Victor Conti because of the little pinching and the little bits and bobs Zahedi afterwards, somebody might spot it on the telly or at a TV gallery and and blow up what he's done.

But now he hasn't changed much. But he's still great to watch in terms of his his determination. His desire is is everything.

What Victor did manage to spot was the fact that Olivier Giroux was onside for that overhead kick. Jiru said, I don't know what to think about the goal. I just try to focus on hitting the ball. Well, I love overhead kicks to Karl said if you see him on a daily basis, you cannot be surprised. He's totally fair. Is bodies in shape mentally? I have the feeling he enjoys every day of being a professional soccer player. At this level.

He trains like a 24 year old and Roth says bloke from Ohio here. How in the world is Olivia Jiru somehow look better? Post match compared to the star is a brilliant finish, Jonny, wasn't it.

Yeah, I believe we talk about Jaysus earlier and he's always the complete player who can't really finish. She is in many ways he's like he's the photo negative of that. He conserves his energy. He, he could have stayed in that, you know, at any time in a game where Oliveria is going to be sort of close your eyes and pin the tail on Olivier Uru, you'd be pretty close both times.

But you also know that, you know, when he gets that chance, when he gets the half opening and only to score like I have a lot of I have a lot of really, really agile goals for someone who is generally regarded as this this kind of Trojan horse, this who initially wheeled into position, is always been fitter and more athletic and more agile. And people of the company credit for and without wishing to kind of reanimate this whole is shiru underrated or overrated or whatever.

It's a good moment to to appreciate what a really prolific for excellent goalscorer he is. And, you know, he's proved again. Yeah.

And it's strange that the Evgenia is starting. Fans instantly think, well, maybe we do as well. Maybe everybody else instantly think, well, you can improve that. You know, that is that is not that's not the final way to solve this issue. You know, Jrue is good up to a point. Maybe it's true, but I think his touch is so good he brings people into play. He's clever and you're right, he scores brilliant goals.

OK, that'll do for part one. Part two, run out the rest of the Champions League.

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Welcome to part to the glory of Football Weekly, Latza 01 byan for Robert Levander, obviously becoming the Champions League third highest top scorer of all time, with his seventy second goal in the competition surpassing Rowel only bettered by do you know who Barry Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi.

Correct.

Ronaldo has 134. Messi has 119. Lonzo probably should have had a penalty at one nil.

But then it seabass of humiliating, you know, mistakes from Natsuo players, lots of players to sort of falling over, just trying to, just trying to grab Kingsley Coman in any way they could. So it was nice to see Pepé Rainer, but otherwise this was a formality for BiOM wasn't it.

Yeah. I mean playing Bayern Munich even with a perfect performance, you're still going to have a hard night at the office and to just give them goals with those kind of mistakes, really, really making life difficult for yourself.

I suppose the story of this game was the coming of age of Jamal Michala, uh, who scored his first Champions League goal.

He turns 18 on Friday. I think he has since declared for Germany, which means England miss out. But it was a pretty easy night at the office for for Bayern Munich.

And before you tell us, it was all the things she said by Tatta was number one when Jamal Oh, here I must apologise to Barry because I was wrong to I was just trying to promote Michelle McManus.

And by the time Scholer Shortie was born, whatever you said, the you to cover or sample had become numb. Take me to the clouds above.

Take me to the clouds above. I do apologise. Yes. Jamal Masiello, the second youngest goal scorer in the Champions League history, second only to Bojan, who scored a seventeen years and 217 days for Barcelona against Schalke in the quarterfinals in 2007 2008. Mashallah said. In the end, I just listen to the feeling that over a long period of time kept telling me that it was the right decision to play for Germany, the land I was born in.

Still, it wasn't an easy decision for me. I have a heart for Germany and a heart for England. Both hearts will keep on beating. That's why he's so good. He has two hearts.

So like blood pumps around his body so quickly.

I love the way he said. I just listen to the feeling that we didn't listen to. All the German blokes in the dressing room were banging on to him every single day, saying to Westmont spieling. And Anees went, Yeah, OK. And then he agreed to. I love the fact that the other night he became the youngest English goalscorer in the Champions League, and that was written up in all the copy everywhere with ours. It was out of date because suddenly he'd become German literally overnight.

But I saw him play at you in the under 20 once and you just thinking about he's not going to stay English for very long. He already looked such a talent and, you know, like to buy in for for giving him such a platform at such a young age in the Champions League.

It's, you know, good luck to him. It's a real shame. Is it Chelsea? For ages, he was at gift schools and he, with so many a top British sports people.

But England are fortunate at the moment that we do have a very good crop of players that come of age and a couple of years older coming through and Germany haven't had so much recently, hence why they were so keen to get him.

I mean, seventeen. You know, when you're seventeen, you think you know everything and you don't really know anything, really. You shouldn't make such a big decision until you're about 35, 40. Really, because then you sort of understand, you know, well, it's a no brainer if you want to win things at international level.

I feel this should be pointed out, especially penalty shootouts.

Yeah, Adelaide's real Real Madrid won the red card. Remo Broilers was sent off for denying a goalscoring opportunity early in the game.

I loved that BT Sport announced that he was the first Swiss player ever to be sent off in a knockout game in the Champions League. I thought, yeah, that's going to be a pop quiz staple for years to go.

Did Stefan Chappuis ah not get a red card? Maybe it was the European Cup.

Felipe Slenderer also got it. Well, I mean, look, I suppose you have to take out the fact it was early in the game.

You know, you can't just say, well, it was too early to send someone off, but it did seem pretty harsh. Basil, I thought as well the ref didn't really give himself any thinking time, but the red card was out before the challenge was made. Oh, yeah.

Well, it seems like a magician make it the way it appeared, but I thought it was incredibly unfair. I thought the ref. Was diabolically bad.

I mean, he should have a sense of Casimiro, who had already been broke, took a dive diving, got along, taking off from the raft, but didn't get a yellow card for the second yellow. That seemed very unfair as well, considering how quick he was to produce the red to oil. I thought Atlanta were robbed. I think Real Madrid were quite lucky. They played poorly against 10 men for, what, 75 minutes or so? And I would, on the evidence of that performance, expect Atlanta to go through.

It was a red card, I'm afraid if it was a red card, it was a I mean, obviously, I was watching the other game because I was I was watching the city game because the writing on it and I saw obviously on social media, Almer was outgroups going could go mental and like, this is an outrage. They've been robbed. This is a fix they fix. Florentino Perez has bought the European Cup again. And I've got all this is going to be it's got to be a travesty.

And I watched it back at halftime, watch a little clip and it's a goalscoring opportunity. It's at the very least arguable that it's a goalscoring opportunity.

It has to be clear and obvious goals going opportunity, not just any old scoring opportunity. It had to bear in mind plays and also the direction the touch that he taken wasn't towards goal.

He'd nudged it away from the key. But not to say it wasn't going to be a chance, but it has to be clear and obvious. And with it being such a massive game changing decision, could he perhaps not just wait? I know with the oh, you still have to make a decision whether it's to send him off or not. Send him off. You don't go. Hang on. I'm not going to decide in the middle of Osbey.

Oh, you do have to make a decision. But he really didn't give himself any thinking time, did it? And it was a huge decision to make. So I'm not convinced he met all the criteria for clear and obvious goals going opportunity.

It met one of them, one out of four. I like that he gave it quickly. I mean, we complain about how long it's it's taken this decision on it's taken three minutes. And then what a guy what a guy pulls the red card out of his pocket within literally two seconds.

I was like, it's too quick. It's too quick if you're in the other end.

And Lewis Murielle had been had been brought down by a by Vázquez or Iran or something, everybody would be would be screaming about how Atlanta well. Or robbed or, you know, if they if they didn't get I think at the very least it's it's you can make a case for a red card there.

You know, if I'm in the queue at Pratt and I know I've got to get my wallet out. Right. I know that's what's happening. I know I'm about to do it. It takes me longer than. But he's got he's at least got two choices of card. Like the speed of it I just thought was he must practise that Mendy's finish was lovely.

Do you think do you think is there a nicer way for a goal to go in than if you see it, if the camera angle shows the ball starting outside the goal and then it bends in, there's some there's a beauty to that that that I find hard to find in in other goals.

I mean, Gary Lineker always used to say that when he was taking penalties to the when he was placing them to the right, he will always try and start the ball outside the post and then it'll curl back in. And then because you always you will bottle it slightly because, you know, it's hard to aim outside the goal. That's why those those goals are so, so hard to score. And and that's why that's why I think they're so pleasing when they when they come off, because it does take a lot of a certain leap into the dark to know I'm going to I'm going to aim this ball outside of the target.

I don't want to hit and trusting to physics to to kind of not make me look like a fool and a lovely finish.

And I thought our reporter could the goalkeeper not a little bit better. You know, it wasn't right in the corner, was it, by any stretch. And Galini and as he as he leapt for the ball to his left hand side, it looks those hand went back roll out to push around the post.

But maybe I'm being hypercritical because I've never been in that position.

Now, I do agree with you. I thought you could've done better in the Europa League, Roscoe says. Are Tottenham deliberately moving their Europa League games to squeeze into the pot? Spurs beats Wolfensberger, otherwise known as RACC Palate's four nil.

Dele Alli was great scorer overhead kick and José said, I'm not going to talk about Deli's goal.

Everybody saw it, but the globality of his performance is what mattered. He had an injury in January and at the same time talk, talk, talk about staying or leaving the market close. The injury went and he started working with motivation. To have Delly back at this level is amazing. Do you think he'll star on Sunday against Burnley Jumi?

No, no, I don't think he will. But he's back in there. He's back in the mix now, which I think is a marriage of convenience. I think it suits all parties now for for with the window closed to bury this whatever whatever hatchet that had emerged, slightly mixed metaphor. But, you know, this is a situation that was basically created. By bribery. No, I mean, if he wasn't performing in the autumn and he wasn't he was not his best, the enlightened solution would probably be to bench him for two or three games to kind of integrating back into the team instead.

You know, it was this kind of confrontational leadership. And and he's now been forced into a backtrack and and rightly so. Posteriorly on his game is a game changing player. And Spurs aren't going to get anywhere near European football unless they have that kind of attacking unit and, you know, firing on all cylinders. And the shame really is that we never really got to find out whether wolfsberg or a real team or not.

Well, they're sponsored by a pellet firm, and I don't have all the information that I read out on the last part, but it was so boring that it was taken out.

Well, I thought it was the part highlight, actually, because you you claim to have researched this outfit, but you weren't able to tell us whether they were shotgun pellets, slug pellets and still none the wiser. You've had a week. Can you enlighten us any further?

Well, no, because I didn't do any more research on the pellets.

All I know is that the third said they produced what was a third of all those pellets. Yeah, but we don't know whether that's three pellets out of nine or three million out of.

No, no, no. It's like 250000 tons of pellets. I just don't know what the pellets are doing. I don't think that I don't think they're for shotguns. That's all I've got to go with slug repellent pellets. I don't think they're slug propellant pellets either. Whatever kind of pellets are there. And there are so many.

There's myriad pellets.

Barry, I just think you should find out. OK, OK. Something to look forward to on Monday.

Perhaps I'll do a Josimar special on Peller with the next one or one of those fancy pods that you don't invite me on. Yeah, yeah. It's sensible. Grown up podcasting. Barry, you're not ready. You're not ready. You need an iPad and everything. You can't, you're not allowed to do that joke works for part three, which we haven't done yet. But you know, you'll really enjoy that iPad based joke in about 20 minutes. Time leads three s up to nil.

Barry, you say you've got a great partner pun of the ages. This podcast used to be full of puns until something happened. I don't know what it was, so I'm very much looking forward to this.

Well, there was a moment of controversy in this early in this game when, uh, Southampton's teller tried to buy a cheap penalty from Leeds, Laurentia and this spot. We need to talk about Penn and Teller.

Oh, very good. Anyway, Leeds were very good. Rob says can lead get more than five seconds, but less than ten seconds. They keep playing as far apart from sort of on the days that we do pods, but we have done a lot of leads. Rafina was great. They're great. Stewart Dallas never stops. It was you know, everything was marvellous. Johnny or Jackie, if you have anything to add.

Oh, like Rafina, I think he had that clarity in the in the final third which which they often haven't had for the lot a large part of the season. And Dallas is obviously is obviously great. He's always like a fifth or sixth man or popping on the scene later on and kind of burying it after after all the chaos in there in the penalty area.

So, yes, leads are a fascinating team because they've started to really wind up the opposition just because people like watching them as neutrals. And when they played wolves recently, there was just so much antipathy towards them because they because it was people, media, we in the media like the fact that a team could win three nil or they could lose three, two, will win four, three. And you don't know going into it, you know, like the manager and what he stands for.

But but there is a lot of football fans. You just hate the fact that Leeds get so much airtime.

So I'm going to stop talking about the natural person who said we gave up in the second half and this is not what I like. Leeds have a good one against one quality. They showed our weakness. We could not manage them. It's tough to take on a terrible run, aren't they?

They were OK in the first half. He's right and then just seemed to down tools once they were to goal behind.

That'll do for part two. Part three. You and Murray will join us for FIPA Corner. Balcones, Part three of the Guardian Football Weekly, Pádraig says if Football Weekly were to take over managing Celtic, could you make history and finish third? We give it a good go. Celtic manager Neil Lennon's resigns with his team 18 points adrift of Rangers in the Scottish Premiership. Unmarry joins us for a proper fit by a corner. With all due respect to anyone else who does fit by corner, normally you would welcome I'm only ever here in times of crisis or chaos.

You are never happy, uplifting times. I don't know if I take it personally. I just.

I don't know if you're the guy I'd go to for uplifting times.

You're not a very fair point.

So listen, this is or was this always going to happen? And you surprised it took this long? Are you surprised at the timing? Well, what was going to happen was I was going to leave at the end of the season that was inevitable. And the Celtic board hoped they could leave them in place until the summer and kind of limp along. They're not going to win the league anyway. But as soon as it kicked towards the end of last year, October, November, then they were stuck and hope to keep them until the end of the season.

But that quickly became unsustainable. They lost that Ross County and second team lost a bit. And then there was that Ross County last Sunday and that was that. And I think, amongst other things, as doing the latter in the favour, I mean, he was in a horrible position, twisting in the wind, Julie, where the supporters didn't especially want him there. He wasn't having an impact on the team. He wasn't going to be there for next season.

So the right thing has happened. But but the circumstances of it are pretty unsatisfactory. I just think the whole thing's been pretty poorly handled. All right. To be honest.

How should it have been handled? I mean, should what will be if you've been running Celtic, you and.

Well, if I was on a Celtic when finished vados the Champions League, which was a terrible result towards the start of the season, I would have been asking serious questions then. But but then I've said this ad nauseum. But the people in charge of Celtic have been fixated on 10 domestic titles in a row and they thought, well, it's OK anyway and will deliver a domestic title and all will be well in the world where Newie the Croxford appealing back then start the season.

So they should have acted then really. And when it became clear even again towards Christmas that things were unravelling and when they were sanctioning sanctioning just to Dubai and all this going to carry on, they had a further chance to do something and be proactive about it, but they won't stick to it. And then, as I said, they were stuck. They were not going to win the league. They're not to play for and end up with a manager, leaving with them for eight league games to go.

Yeah, I think it doesn't help themselves by being quite abrasive when he's facing questions about how bad the season is going. And in your piece on his resignation yesterday, you said week after week he had no option but to defend a regime he knew was failing it.

Did he? Maybe he did have options like he could have criticised the recruitment policy. I mean, you point out that with James Foresty injured, they've no winger. The goalkeeper is useless. They're overreliant on an ageing Scott Brown signing's. They've brought in during the summer of almost without exception, being disastrous. I mean, that's quite obvious to everyone. Why try and claim otherwise?

You see just obvious things. Bloody. Yes. Yes, that's what I'm saying.

I take that point. He early on in the season was very critical of his own players and that kind of rebounded on. And the genie was out the bottle. He then went over the top supporting them. That didn't work either. In terms of recruitment, I think ultimately he has to accept the buck stops with them. I think Celltex recruitment department has underperformed massively. He's in a situation where he could have had nothing, nothing else to see and no one else to turn.

He knew it wasn't working. Sort of put your hands up and saying, this is a disaster. I'm out here week on week. I don't really know what you could do. That's the only point I'm make. And he he was in a position where he knew he was going to be departing anyway, where the team was malfunctioning, recruitment had malfunctioned. And you've seen it with other managers that kind of stuck in this rut. And ultimately, they got to the point where he just had to leave anyway.

And the board's plan that he could just see it through to the summer and they could part ways isn't going to work with that. But that recruitment is important because someone has a massive rebuilding job in the summer because of the the scale of change that's needed. And that's healthy.

Someone who is that someone, anyhow? How Frank Lampard, Rafa Benitez, Steve Clark, Roy Keane, Terry Andre, Henrik Larsson, Roberto Martinez, Gairm Orlin would be fun.

I think they would like him play. So you play like in front of Scott Brown. Wouldn't be a bad move. I think they would like Eddie Ho or on Eddie. How type figure. The question becomes whether that appeals to Eddie. How am I must have a Steve Clark and I don't mean to. Be overly critical, but the sixth season tickets are certain. I'm not sure Roy Keane would be fantastic. Box office environment, this is record suggests he would be a good Celtic manager.

I don't know that the fight to he Desmond has a lot of wealth and as a lot of persuasive powers. So if Dermot Desmond puts his mind to this and I think he will find the Celtic manager, he did it with Brendan Rodgers, albeit Brendan had an affiliation to the club, then you might be surprised to see what he can get. And it's a good job. I mean, I do it myself. We laugh and, you know, poke fun at the environment in Scotland.

But managing Celtic isn't a soft option. You have to win every single week. And there is a pressure that not everyone can handle players and managers. And it's different. I mean, even respect the video is massively different to manage in Bournemouth for managing Burnley. And it would be a completely different challenge for him. And it's a good job. But you know what sort of a for themselves? No, there's a bit of time between now in the summer where they can, you know, without any problem, go out and speak to and look at other managers and properly look at a plan and the strategy going forward because they've got a chance now to to to rebuild.

It doesn't seem that there's a candidate that ticks all the boxes, though, is they you know, as you mentioned about Eddie, how such a different job from from his home really on the south coast where he was allowed to just run the whole place and have Roy Keane absolutely fascinates me, as you say, about his record.

But, my God, would he have the determination? Would he? He could be fascinating.

Frank Lampard has been mentioned. Has he done enough so far to warrant such a huge job, if you like? People are talking about would it appeal?

But surely it would appeal, but nobody seems to take the box. I read a quote you and about Neil Lennon having been I don't know if this is fair, an analogue manager in a digital age. Is that unkind? Is it unfair? Do they need somebody who's a bit more sort of modern in their techniques and approaches and also the way they handle players like Roy Keane?

That Jackie, I think is unfair, not wholly unfair. I mean, Neil Lennon just broke into that old stale old school manager, and that's not true. But Celtic as a club probably need more attacks. And this is what they need to be more digital led and analytics led. I think. I mean, Celtic would regard themselves as being at the forefront and the cutting edge of what happens in football. I don't think they are and they do need more of that.

So. So, yeah, I think a manager along those lines to deal with what the modern player demands would be would be a starting point. Yeah, absolutely.

But didn't go to Lennon staff, pull out an iPad or an iPad on the touchline recently. And it was it was like some sort, you know. Oh, it's a magic. Which portable gadzooks. What is this? I mean.

Oh, absolutely. It was a it was government and just during not game on Sunday and it was oh my God, he's got an iPod. What's going on here?

I mean, I watch and we had the guy at heart, you know, the laptop. He had a laptop. A laptop. Oh, my God.

Well, I mean, I watched Leicester play another week and it was Chris Davis. I mean, they're watching FISAs as a player bike almost as soon as it happened that that was taken as standard in the Premier League. But no, if it happens in Scotland, it's. Oh, my goodness, what's going on here? I mean, we're overplaying it, but there is an element of that where they need to they need to move a bit quicker with the teams, I think is the reason that you are the Scottish football correspondent.

Is that why you're not allowed to have WhatsApp, which makes all the communication and WhatsApp groups harder?

Because you say it's just part of your DNA deliberately awkward. Yes, that's it. Always perfect. Well, we'll come back to you when there's another crisis. Thanks. You speak soon.

Now that I've got your money there, a Scottish correspondent, let's look at the Premier League games mentioned Leeds. They're playing Villa Villa have banned their players from doing fantasy football after news leaks of Jacques Greeley's injury when several of his team-mates Matt Target and Connor Harahan, he's not there anymore, but they both removed him from their fantasy football team. They'll certainly get to the bottom of this, said Dean Smith. I'm trying to think about this. Is football just playing fantasy football?

You know, is that like me? Like just doing a podcast for myself after this podcast, or is that more football playing FIFA? I couldn't work it out either way. It's a funny story.

I quite like the footballers play fantasy football. I don't like the people sort of monitor their teams for fifteen years. I think that's taking it one level too seriously. I think let the footballers play their fantasy football also. Did you know they should have some sort of private league? Surely that's that's probably the best solution. Yeah, probably.

Chelsea Man City, West Ham, Leicester, Arsenal, West Brom, Brighton, Newcastle Wolves Pub. Why am I reading out this book? I mean, you know what they are. We'll talk about them on Monday's pod when we up to 10000 fans might be back in stadiums for the last game of the season because that's when the road map has been set out. If all the checks are met over the next few months, which, judging by what's happened over the last year, seems phenomenally unlikely.

But the Premier League asking if they can have. A bit of leeway, so it can be a bit early, so every team would have a home game otherwise, for example, Newcastle might be upset that Fulham would have 10000 at home for that last game of the season, but Newcastle wouldn't have had a home game with some fans in anyway. We will all see what happens. It is a problem, though, Max.

I mean, so just very briefly, that when fans were allowed in briefly, some teams, depending on their tier, managed to get fans in, noticed it at Anfield, they admitted that it gave them a massive, massive boost when they played there and and and won comfortably.

And I do think it's it is definitely an issue that now Stuart Braithwaite, who is from Mogwai, the band who, like the pod, asked you, Barry, to tweet to convince. I don't know what they think you're on. Have your finger on the pulse of popular culture, but getting people to buy their album so they could be number one, which we would celebrate, Barry, wouldn't we?

We would celebrate. I mean, we've had we have history with Mogwai before your time, they offered to do with some new theme music. And we were delighted, thrilled, honoured, because they're a great band. And then Jimbo upset them by saying he didn't just want some offcuts off the studio floor. He wanted, you know, a special composition bespoke for us. But and I think he offended them. But Mogwai are in the race for the official albums chart number one for the first time in their long history with As The Love Continues, They're up against gets Whitesnake the ratings and Ricky Warwick, who I've actually met many years ago and in the top 40.

So, yeah, OK, you heard it.

Kids, if there are any other bands that listen to the pod and would like us to help them on their quest.

Grey Davis, formerly of The Kinks, is a listener. Oh, hello, Ray Davis. And we'll get Jonathan Wilson to send you a message since he's never heard a piece of music in his life. That'll do for today. I've had a lovely time. I hope you have to.

Thank you, Jacqui. Thank you, Max. Thank you, Johnny. Thanks, Keith. Thanks, Barry. You're welcome. We will return on Monday.

I'm completely distracted because I'm looking at the Z Pellets Facebook page and I can see these pellets, but I still don't know what you use them for.

Wooden pallets, they are wooden pallets.

I feel like we're getting closer and there's like a Christmas candle and set up with that wooden pallets at the bottom of the candles.

I'm completely obsessed with this. I need to know.

For more great podcasts from The Guardian. Just go to the Guardian dot com slash podcasts.