A Cast recommends podcasts we love.. We're Louise, Sheeva, and Sirein. We're three friends, work colleagues, and bilingual girls who are living our lives as Sbairla and as Gael. Sineé Louise. The three of us work as TV presenters with Tigi Cahir. And one thing we always hear is, I wish I spoke more Irish. So we decided to do something about it, didn't we, therein? Oh, we are taking action, Sheeva. Join us on our new weekly bilingual podcast, How to Go Ail, where we cover our weekly How to topics from how to get the ride, ask how you get to, how to quit your job. Just things we're going through in our own lives. So for an E-smile, go ahead, go hell. Find How to Go Ail wherever you get your podcast. Like, subscribe, and practice the couple fuck-up.

Bye.

A Cast is home to the world's best podcasts, including the David McWilliams podcast. I'm Grandma, and the one you're listening to right now. What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your WiFi.

Manifest that ship. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Good New Year to my gigglers. Like the blimp. I was trying to use a G-word.

Oh, I was like- The Good Year blimp. That just got me so confused. I was like, I think it's Happy New Year. Good New Year to you, sir. And to you as well.

If you just say stuff to people, they'll just repeat it and think you're right. It's just group mentality. Yeah, that's true. Good Year to you, good stuff.

Surey-o. How was your New Year's, Hannah? How was your Christmas?

First of all, we missed you guys so much. It was so weird not talking to you.

I felt like I've been lost for two weeks.

No, I woke up with this weird feeling in my stomach, you know when there's just something wrong in the air? So I texted Paige and I just go, How are you? Because I want to keep it open-ended. I didn't want her to feel attacked, but I just knew something was off. And this bitch responds and says, Just called 911 yesterday. You know, just an average holiday season.

Because it's not funny what happened to me.

Can you explain what happened? Did you fall down another flight of stairs?

My New Year's Eve could not be more page-coded if I fucking I tried. So first of all, let me just start from the very beginning. Craig wants to throw a New Year's Eve party. Which is so aggressive. Which is so, first of all, out of my wheelhouse. But I was like, You know what? I never I don't ever want to do anything on New Year's Eve. I don't ever want to go anywhere. But it's the one day that I do feel FOMO. Okay, I should at least celebrate New Year's. Everyone celebrates New Year. And he has his house.

He wants to show people his house. Right.

The house is good. I was like, You I'm going to decorate the fuck out of it. Hannah, my decoration. I crushed it.

What was the esthetic?

My theme was champagne, caviar, pink bowes, and disco balls.

Oh, my God. It sounds like my wedding if it was classier.

My tree was stunning. It looked like Priscilla Presley. I did all different size disco balls in the fireplace. I got these melted disco balls from Amazon, and I just put them all around on the house. And then I had pink Christmas balls and like, arrangements and disco balls as just the decor around the home. All the champagne glasses had the matching pink bowls around the stems that match the tree. I crushed it.

Went off. I love that you're playing house when you feel like it, and then when you don't want to clean up, you just go back to New York.

I thought that because I was like, Oh, my God. Wow. This is going to be such a big cleanup the next day from the party. I'm so glad I don't legit live here. If this was in my apartment, I'd be living.

I didn't decorate anything at all because my apartment's so messy that if I started putting like, bowls and disco balls everywhere, people would think I'm in an episode of Hoarders. They'd be like, Are you okay?

Where is your cat? Greg and I put up a Christmas tree on December 29th. I was like, We can't have a New Year's Eve party and not have a Christmas tree. People are going to think we're literal Like, idiot. So we got one from Amazon, put it up on December 29th, and I decorated it for the party. And it's coming down tomorrow.

So everything was going beyond smoothly. When did it take a turn?

Everything was going smoothly. And I was really trying to be one of the girls and have fun. And I'm sipping on drinks, and I'm in that conversation with someone. And all of a sudden, I can't see that person. I can't pay attention to what that person is saying. And I immediately I really excuse myself. And I'm like, Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I have to go to the bathroom. This is 11:30, okay? The party started at 7:00. So I've literally been alive for 20 minutes. I haven't really done anything at the party. I go upstairs at 11:30. You're never going to see me again. I never come back downstairs. I proceed to vomit so much that I could only text Craig like, Help.

Get my affairs in order. He runs upstairs. He's like, What the fuck?

Me and Cierra sitting in the bathroom.

That's something I would do if I felt like I wasn't getting enough attention at the party.

Help, I've been shot.

Go to the bathroom and text, Help, and just lie on the floor.

Just lock the door. And I just don't answer for 20 minutes. No, Hannah, I... I'm not kidding. He came upstairs and I was like, We have to call 911. He was like, What is happening to you? My fingers, I couldn't move them. I couldn't move my fingers. I couldn't move my toes. And then my stomach muscles, Hannah, I'm not kidding, started contracting. I was like, I'm having a stroke. Craig's looking at me. He goes, You're not having a stroke. You're looking right at me and you're talking. You're not having a stroke. I start hysterically crying. I go, Call my mom. I know.

You go, Call 911 or my mom. They're pretty much the same thing. Literally the same thing.

And then I got so mad at him because I was like, It's your fault I'm in Charleston. And if I was in New York City, my mom would be in the car all the way on her way to me. I completely forgot, completely fucking forgot, that I have been on skin medicine, and I didn't take my pill that night. You drugged yourself. I roofied myself. I'm head in the toilet. I can't keep anything down. I'm like, What the fuck is going on? I literally am not even drunk. I had three, four drinks, and they were small. And then I remembered that I'm on a diuretic.

I only had four gel shots, seven martinis.

I kept saying that. I had one fish bowl. I was like, I'm not even drunk. I didn't even drink that much. And Craig was like, You've been drinking for literally four hours straight. You fell going up the stairs getting here.

We did one What's it called? When you stand on the beer- Carbop?

Oh, what is... What the fuck is that called? When you stand upside down? Yeah, what- A cake stand.

Oh my God. A cake stand. I only did One and a half cake stand.

You know I could only say it for six seconds.

So this is my thing. I think so much of life is mental. And where I do think your acne medication, whatever, I think you did what I did when I was skiing. I think you We're like, I'm going to commit to this party, but you had so much anxiety about the party. And three hours in, your body was so exhausted. And you probably had a couple of awkward conversations that just put you over the edge and you were over stimulated. And your body was like, get me the fuck out of my own body.

I think I had one conversation where I was just like, that was a lot of questions. And I have no answers to any of them. God damn it. I have no idea.

That's like when I didn't want to go skiing. And yeah, some would say I hit a curve or an edge, but I checked myself down that hill because I said, I don't want to be living this moment anymore. But the craziest part of this whole story is that You text me, I called 911. And I said, That's crazy because he does call 911 three days ago at an equinox because he, I think, had overdone it. But his thing is he's an older man, and I think he's scared deep down that he's going to have a heart attack. So he calls me and he said, Hey. And I'm like, How are you doing? We actually have a small talk. And then he goes...

We actually got a few affairs in order. And then he said, By the way...

He goes, By the way, I'm having a heart attack. He goes, I go, What? And he goes, I'm currently having a... So I'm going to call 911 just to check. And I don't want to be rude in that moment and tell him how to feel or not say his feelings are valid. And if you say you're having a panic attack, I feel like that doesn't go over well sometimes. No, it doesn't. It makes them more upset. Because it's being calm down.

I couldn't move my fingers. I couldn't my fingers. Greg was like, It's in your head.

That's when he said he was getting... His hands were tingly. I don't know if this happened to him, but there's a phobia of thinking that you're having a stroke or having a heart attack that makes your body go into that. I have it. So then you're fully having a panic attack that you're having that attack. It's like a fake pregnancy. I don't know.

No, valid.

The rough thing was he was like, I'm going to be fine. I'm going to handle it. I said, okay. And I up and I'm just watching TV and I'm like, Is it fucked up that my husband called an ambulance? And I didn't even ask where.

I was just going to say, Why didn't you go?

I had no follow-up. I said, No. I had shit to do that night.

And I just You were every boyfriend gossiping. You were like, Okay. We're like, Where is he? What's going on? You're like, I don't know. I didn't ask.

I was like, Okay. I said, Text me updates, and I'm here if you need me.

And And I have a 1-800 number. You can call after 07:00 PM.

Thank you. I said, If the nurse wants to talk to me, I don't like talking to strangers, so don't give her my number. I'm not in the mood to have conversations. Anyway, I do think everyone's mental health is teetering right now.

Okay, I have a question. Is Dez a hypochondriac in general? Is he googling things? Is he coming up with ailments he may have?

Sometimes, and I think because he's getting older and he has had some stuff happen to him, and he's a cancer survivor. Right. So it's like he's had diagnosis that changes his life. So he's also a protector of himself and me and everyone around him. So he's always like, is everyone okay?

He's a hunter. Let's not forget.

He's a hunter. He's a hunter. And it's in his blood. But let's just say that he is the personality that if I tap him on the shoulder to wake him up in a nap, he goes, Yeah. I'm like, someone is a little high strung.

It's a lot of coffee, does. It's a lot of anxiety.

A lot of coffee and Diet Coke. Let's do a little breathing meditation, a forgiveness meditation for ourselves. Every time you have sex, Do you think you got an STD?

No, I'm more of the pregnant rat. I'm like, That was a baby.

I could feel the baby. I could feel the head already.

It's coming out.

See, I'm the opposite. I will be literally He was really bleeding with a fever and missing an arm, and I'll be like, I'm fine. I think I'm fine.

You want to know what's crazy? I said to Craig not too long ago, I said something like, Oh, whatever. I'll just take a pregnancy test. And his face completely went white and was like, Oh, my God. What do we do? And I was just like, What are you talking about? Like, chill. He was like, Have you done this before?

If I had a nickel?

I don't think you've ever met me. I am I'm a hypochondriac. The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken and not even had sex. I'm the Virgin Mary.

I'm going to tell you something. I shouldn't tell you this because it's going to make you even more paranoid. But Jeanie, my brother's wife, who was pregnant before, said that she knew she was pregnant because she could smell things really strongly. So the other week, I smelled something and I was like, Oh, no, I'm pregnant. And I'm like, Oh, this is bad. If your nose works, suddenly you're like, It's giving pregnancy. No. It's giving pregnant.

I do feel like I'm very in tune with my body that I will know the moment I get pregnant.

We have to give an apology.

Oh, yeah. Are you talking about electric grandpa?

Yeah, I think you have to apologize to a couple grandpas out there.

Listen, guys, we all know I'm a Tad bit dyslexic. I'm full dyslexic. And so when I see words, I make them words that I know in my head.

Your brain saw eclectic and was like, Absolutely not. That's what I'm saying. Electric.

Because let's be honest, electric is so much easier to say. And it actually- We apologize.

Sounds better. Tell all the electric grandpas out there. It would have been better, but it's actually a collected grandpa, and the good glures were quick to let us know. Quick to let us know.

I'm still going to say electric grandpa because I just think that I did them a really good branding, gave them a good branding idea, and if they can use it or not. But I think it sounds way better.

Yeah, I do think it wasn't the worst thing you've ever done. Also, I have to apologize. I'm gone full delusional with my nails. I think you complimented me one too many times on my nails, and I got- You got poop nails again. The chocolate tips.

Yeah.

And look, in the moment- Wait, I love the rebrand for that because poop nails PR is working overtime.

They're like, We're actually chocolate-dipped. So we call them Gingerbread Some tips, some would say, and some would say IBS.

But it all depends on what perspective you're looking at. I knew they were bad because the lady did them, and I always... Regardless what she did, I always go, These look so beautiful. She's a woman in the arts? And she looked at me She looked at me dead in the eye, said nothing.

She just said nothing.

She knew. Then I posted it, and my DM started blowing up to the point that I had to stop looking at my phone because I started to get upset.

You were like, I'm going to take a social media break.

I posted, Please I was like, my privacy at this time. Because I thought it was cool, but I realized I've been a little bit delusional with it where for a second I thought I couldn't miss. I just want to thank you guys for being honest with me and bringing me down to Earth to remember that Not all... I can't pull off everything. And thank you for keeping me humble. And Happy New Year.

Have you heard that Gen Z is canceling almond-shaped nails? Alma nails? Yeah.

Yeah, they're trying to do square nails, which I think... You always had square nails. I think square nails is unsafe. I'll cut a bitch with a square nail.

I've been a square nail girly since birth, honestly. My nails just don't stay almond, I feel like. I feel like they break.

I feel like with square nails, I'll get guacamole stuck in it, but I could open an Amazon box really easily. Just like...

Yeah, I agree with that. I actually highly agree with that. I feel like I can do more things because I have nails than other people.

Also, my big thing is I go for cool nails that if I did Gel-X or really long on my nails, they'll look cool. But I'm just putting it on my stubborn little nails thinking that I can pull it off, which, again, is delusional energy.

But think to you guys. I actually do think you could pull off square nails.

Maybe. But it's like, are my nails bad or are my hands just curvy?

You actually have very good nails and you have a long nail bed. Like, your nails look good when they're long. It's your color choices, and that's your own issue.

So you don't think it's that my fingers are fat?

No, I don't. I've seen fatter fingers. I'm not going to lie. I've seen worse hands. I've seen stubbornier fingers on the Internet.

Yeah, you have to search real deep for that.

I think it's your own delusion. But I do have a quick little tip for if you are going to do square nails and you feel like they break really easily, I ask for square nails with a rounded sides. Edges. Yeah, edges.

Yes, that's what I want because I don't want a hard square.

Like point. Yeah.

Yeah. I feel like I would scratch my eye out.

That is what makes it break easily, I feel like.

True. Oh, my God.

You're a woman in stem. No, I'm a scientist. That was physics.

I also realized that there's some things I'm not good at for a reason. You ever think of things that if you were good at it, you'd just be intolerable?

Yeah. You'd be too powerful?

Too powerful? And just everyone would be like, This bitch is so fucking annoying. Annoying. Thank God, I can't sing.

I agree with that.

If I could sing, I would be Ariana Grande. I'd be like, Lea Michelle plus Ariana Grande, plus the person you hate most at the karaoke bar. I would start Giggly Squad in a full opera solo.

I think there is an alternate, like an alternate reality, different parallel timeline that you are in that timeline, a woman in theater.

A full woman of the arts. I think like singing jazz.

You're involved in set designs, and you hit different octaves.

No, No. If I could hit high oct... If I could do the butterfly thing like Mariah Carey, I would break into song all the time. I'd be that annoying friend that's like... And then this one time, The people just didn't understand what I was going through.

But some People are really good at that. Do you want to be one of those people?

That's the thing. I don't want to because I would not do right with it. I would abuse it.

You would abuse the power.

I would abuse the power to the point that people would be like, I don't care how beautiful her voice is. She's annoying as fuck. Yeah. And then the other thing that I'm so glad I cannot do because I would get kicked out of friend groups and never invited to parties. If I could do a split, I I would do a split every time I walked in a room. I'd be like, What's up, bitches? Every party, I'd just be in a split in the corner. I would be bombing in a conversation and be like, Do you want to see me do something? I would do a split.

Some may say the worm is The distant relative of the split.

The worm is the not flexible relative of the split.

I think the worm was before the split, honestly. I feel like the early 2000s, everyone was doing the worm.

The thing with the worm is you need space where a split, you could do it real quick. I feel like the worm needs more of a setup, and it's even more obnoxious where if I could do splits, I literally would do it in Meeting.

Do you ever think about, this is so off topic, but not really. Do you ever think about your journey on TikTok, the different eras you went through on TikTok? There was an era that I went through where I kept getting gymnastics videos and stretching and flexible, whatever. And I had it in my head that I was going to stretch every single day so that I could do a split.

Well, part of me is like, should I try to do a split by the end of the year?

No, It was literally that was what the TikTok was.

It was like, if you stretched- Should we do a competition?

If you stretched every single day for 10 minutes in one year, you could do a split. Ten minutes? I mean, you got to commit.

Stretching for 10 minutes feels like seven hours. I stretch for 20 seconds and I go, Yep.

No, I actually feel like I stretch a lot. Really? When? I'm like a stretcher.

Wait, when are you stretching? Because you've never told me about this, and now I feel like you're cheating on me.

I think because I have a lot of back and neck issues that I am forced to stretch, or else I'll be in a lot of pain. A cast recommends podcasts we love. Diagwith, we're Louise, Sheeva, and their In. Our three friends, work colleagues, and bilingual girls who are living our lives as a girl and as a girl. Sineé Louise, the three of us work as TV presenters with Tigi Cahir. And one thing we always hear is, I wish I spoke more Irish. So we decided to do something about it, didn't we, their In? Oh, we are taking action, Sheeva. Join us on our new weekly bilingual podcast, How to Go Ail, where we cover our weekly how-to topics from how to get the ride, ask how you get to how to quit your job. Just the things we're going through in our own lives. So for Nisam o'Guelga, it's all here. How to go ahead, go hail. Find How to Go Ail wherever you get your podcast, like, subscribe, and practice a couple of fuckles. Acast is home to the world's best podcasts, including the David McWilliam's podcast. I'm grandmam, and the one you're listening to right now.

Did I ever tell you that I went to my dermatologist and I asked about trapped Botox and he was like, No, get out of here? No. I didn't tell that story on the pod?

I don't think so.

So I went to my dermatologist and I was like, Hey, I want to get Botox. And he said, Hey, I really don't think you need it yet. And I was like, I'm obsessed with you. And then I said, What about the Barbie Botox that everyone's getting? And he was like, Here's the thing. When I do Botox on people's faces, I know exactly where I'm putting it. These other doctors, if you're doing it in your shoulders, you could possibly hit a nerve and not know it. And he was like, And then you can't use your left arm for six months. And he was like, I don't think it's worth it. And I also don't think that it really works. He was like, If you want me to do it to you right now, I totally can. But I just don't think you need it. And so then I was like, okay. And I appreciate that.

No, I love that so much. But that's why you can't listen to everything you see on TikTok. I also, arguably, this is fucked up, and I don't want to put this into the universe, but I'm going to. My TikTok algorithm is in its flop ever right now.

Oh, my gosh.

The video, I'm just getting so much shop stuff, and I think TikTok is pushing shop so much that it's not promoting like, comedy the way it was. No. I go on TikTok to see the funny videos. And every three seconds is either the same trending noise or people selling me the Alex Earle light.

If one more person says, This is your sign to buy the Alex Earle light, I'll lose it.

She was like, You guys are going to... I'm about to go from dark to light. You've never seen this shit before.

We've all had ring lights before Alex Earle was alive.

What's even more fucked up about it is I don't think Alex Earle is even getting a cut when they're lying that it's Alex Earle light because it's a random fucking ring light from some warehouse.

They're just using this poor girl's name.

They're just using this poor girl's name. No. Using her name out in these streets.

I feel like on my TikTok right now, I'm actually getting videos too early that haven't popped off yet. Perfect example.

Something weird is happening with the algorithm.

I get this TikTok of this girl, these two British girls, girls sitting in the car. She's on the phone with her friend. Her friend is the bride. She's a bridesmaid. She's telling her friend that she can't be in... She doesn't think it's appropriate to be in her wedding anymore because she doesn't like the dress that the bride picked for her. And she told the bride that she was uncomfortable with that dress and wanted it to be a different neckline or something. And the bride is on the phone and she's like, well, it's my wedding and I can't have everyone in the same dress and then you in a different dress. I think you are being really rude. So I get this TikTok, there's no comments on it yet. And I'm like, I feel like this is insane. And then I'll get it again days later, and then it'll have popped off.

But that's a crazy thing. If I have seen a video, especially if I watch it through, why are you showing it to me again?

I've been getting a A lot of repeats. But I can't stop thinking about this bride and the bridesmaid because then the comments are all completely split.

Wait, so they're fighting on the phone together?

They're fighting on the phone, and the girl posted it. The day of the wedding? No, before the wedding. Before. Okay. Like, a couple of weeks before, maybe like, couple of months. But the comments are completely split. And there's nothing I love more than watching TikTok and not even watching the video and just clicking comments and reading all the comments. And then I was thinking to myself, what's the debate that I'd have to be so passionate about to comment? And on a random person's video?

No, because once you comment, you're opening the floor to everyone to fight back with you. And then you're fully Judge Judy, like trying to yell at people. You're fighting with seven people at the same time. I... Oh, God. But maybe there is something No, I wouldn't do it.

Definitely, I'm out here in the TikTok comments. I'm commenting on Girlies, and I'm like, That was a great video. Or like, Oh my God,. I'm saying fire.

I'm saying stunning. I'm saying hateful.

But I'm never in comments where it's like, I don't agree. I'm on this person's side, and this is the reason why. But I want to be that passionate about something that I want to comment.

But I'm just not. Obviously, it's not good for your mental health. But then you're like, is there something wrong with me that I literally wouldn't fight for anything?

I don't stand for anything.

I'm also thinking 2024.

Very laissez-faire.

I'm also the person that if I did stand for something and someone was like, you're wrong, I'd be like, you're right. You're right.

I'm like, no, that probably tracks. And I am dyslexic, so you could be right.

Speaking of weddings, I was thinking about dancing recently. And you know what? One of those core memories that you haven't thought of for a while pops up. I thought that grinding during a dance was going to be way more important in my life. Grinding was all I worried about. I was like, Am I going to grind with someone? Am I good at grinding?

Do I know how to grind?

Are people watching me grind? Who's standing... That was all I cared about in high school, was grinding.

Also, can we just talk about how offensive-sounding-grinding is?

Sounding, grinding is? That's just disgusting. At the time, I remember the teachers being upset, and I'm like, We're just grinding. Who cares?

But if you think about it, he's not even pretending to dance. There's nothing I love more than seeing a 13-year-old Hannah Burner being like, What of it? I'm just grinding. I love that so much.

I just remember walking in the dance floor and being like, I also thought I couldn't dance. I was a tennis player. I'm like, I can't dance, but I'm a grind.

Yeah, for sure. I don't have a rhythmic bone in my body, but if I have to pop lock and drop it at an eighth grade dance, I'm there.

I feel like I'm the same with grinding and hand jobs. I feel like the guys are always happy with it, but I never know if it was actually good. They're always fine, but they probably called their friend after it was like, That was shit.

Yeah, that was weak. It wasn't that great.

Because let's be honest, it's a weird tease. Both of them are a weird tease. Also, you could feel him get a boner. That's upsetting.

No, middle school and the beginning of high school is a weird fucking place. I remember thinking, Wait, what do you do when you're out of school and you don't go to dances anymore? I'm really going to miss dances. Not realizing that clubs were an entire industry.

When you discovered clubs, you were like, The hills are alive.

No, Hannah, I'll never forget my first table, ever. In my entire life, I'll never forget going to my first table at a club and being like, Wait, what?

I'll never forget when I went to college and found out that all people do is party, and I called my mom being like, I don't have to go to the party, right?

Two types of girls. Definitely two types of girls. I was like,.

It's literally, it's coming from the most popular girl in the school being like, What was I supposed to do after Being the star of my dance at the gym? Where was I supposed to go? I can't read. I can't write.

I'm at the top. Where else?

I've peaked.

I've literally peaked. My grinding, there's nowhere to go.

I have a couple of good grinds, and I'm like, Let's go home. I did it. Nothing that embarrassing happened. I did shit myself, but let's go home. I don't like parties.

In high school, do you ever remember at some point during the dance, there'd be a guy grinding with two girls, one on each leg?

Oh, my God.

No. Is that a memory unlocked that you're like, That was disgusting? I remember. And teachers just let it happen? I don't think that's a vial.

The thing with me is I went to three different high schools, so it always be the new girl just grinding on people.

But I was- Wait, that's crazy to think about, and I feel like you don't talk about that enough. Being the new girl- I think it made me stronger, but it was traumatic. In three different high schools?

The most fucked up thing was this one school. I was the new girl in eighth grade, and I was the only new girl. And I remember I did fine. I was fine. And then in ninth grade, all the new freshmen came into the school because it was an extended school. And everyone, I was still considered the new girl. And I was like, I'm not the new girl. They're new. And they're like, No, you're the weird new girl. And I'm like, What the fuck? I've been here longer than them, but I couldn't get out of that new girl.

They literally gaslit you into being the new girl. And you were like, I've lived here for 25 years. I'm only 15. So explain that. No, literally.

But then I left because I was the new girl and then I did the tennis thing. But the one good thing is when I went to Beacon on the Upper West Side, shout out Beacon. We're Addison Timlin, Tomlin. Jeremy Allen. Do you remember White Allen?

Are you having a stroke? Jeremy Allen-White, ex-wife.

I remember White used to be married I'm sorry, too. Name dropped. It was right next to the Gordia. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. I was on the boys tennis team. So that year as a junior, I went to prom with one of the senior tennis guys. So I immediately had an in. I knew people. I was accepted in the sports group. It was tough. It was very... It was difficult.

No, I couldn't imagine that.

And I think that's why I got good at first impressions because Because I just had to very quickly be cool with people.

That's very interesting because I- I was used to being new.

I was just like, What's up? I'm new. We're cool. Everything's cool.

We're fine. Everything's fine. I'm new. You're old. It's all good.

You all know each other. I don't know the inside jokes. I'll just sit here because I'm fine.

Because you know what? I genuinely didn't make any friends in college. I'm not kidding. I made zero friends. Maybe one. I made one friend in college because I crippled myself so badly because I was like, this is the first time I've had to make friends since kindergarten. I don't know how to fucking do this. I'm awkward. This is weird. And I just stayed with my high school friends. I physically couldn't do it.

No, I get that. And there's pros to both. It's nice to have people that you have such a history with. But also, sometimes you'll meet someone and then you're like, Holy fuck, this is my person I want to be friends with. Why have I been friends with these fuckers?

That's how I feel about you, Hannah. I feel like in New York City, I was like, Wait, there's got to be more to friends in New York City. And then I met you and I was like, I remember when we first met, we were like, Obviously, you were my person.

But then you'd be on the phone for an hour and you'd get off and you'd tell me about all this drama of this other friend group. And I'm like, What is this second family she has? But you were never bitchy about it. You were always super I was in the drama. You would tell me everything. I was like, Oh, this is fun. I don't have to meet them and be awkward. I don't have to know any of these people. Yeah, I didn't have to talk to anyone, but you made me feel like I was in the group.

Then randomly, you'd come around and know everything about everyone, but you would be the new girl, and they wouldn't suspect a thing.

Literally. And also, the one good thing is I've only hung out. I did go to that club once where we did that model dinner, which I was traumatized by, but I was fine. And then we had that dinner at the Hamptons house. Wait, I don't even remember that.

What club night where we did a model dinner?

We did that model dinner where no one ate or spoke, and we were sitting there, and I was like, What's going on?

What club did we go to?

I don't know. And then everyone like, we went through the kitchen and then it was like,.

We went through the kitchen?

And I was scared.

Oh, my God. We had to have been young because I went through the kitchen. This was early. Maybe we went to Lavo or something. Yes, Lavo. Yeah. Because I feel like that's the only place that I remember going to a kitchen to get to the club. Wow. Babies. And now I can't have four drinks without thinking I'm having a stroke and calling 911. My mom literally said to me the other day, she was like, Do you think it's because you partied so hard in your 20s that you physically can't do anything anymore?

You can definitely burn out your brain cells from partying.

When people say, Oh, I'm nervous to have kids, I'm nervous to get married because did I not live up my single days? That is not a fear of mine whatsoever. I genuinely think my breakup at 27 was the best thing ever for me because I had those extra years in my 20s to party. I feel like I partied enough for three people in their 20s. I crushed it.

You're, not to compliment you, but you're a tiny human. A little dainty flower, and you were consumed consuming copious amounts of who knows?

Who knows?

More people should have been worried about you.

No. You want to know what's crazy, too? I think about how everyone will be like, You're so lazy. She's always in the bed. And then I think in my 20s- I'm I went out every single fucking night. Every night I was out, going to dinner or going drinks with someone or going to a club.

What did you think was going to happen?

I thought I was going to meet my husband. I was I got to go. When my husband's here. And then I realized my husband's not at a table at 3:00 AM, hitting up the bottle waitress for her number while I wait for him. It's just not happening.

I felt like I had enough bad nights that I'm trying to find a guy that I quickly was like, This isn't going to happen. Or I know myself, so I had friend groups who were friends. Well, when I was living with the guys, I always live with guys. So I would just be in bed and they would start pre-gaming and all these like meatheads would show up. And I would walk outside in my pajamas, pimple cream, look at all them. And if none of them were cute, I would turn around and just go back in my bedroom and they'd be knocking the door like, You're coming out with us? And I'm like, Not with the talent you brought. Absolutely not.

I feel like we were similar in that because I have always had a core group of guy friends, and I feel like you have, too. And then, of course, we have our girlfriends that we love. But there is something to be said about having a good group of guy friends in your 20s that make you feel protected when you go out with them.

Oh, my God. I always felt so protected because we really... It's funny. We never had any sexual tension between me, Dave and Cory. Right. Either I always had a boyfriend. There was never a moment where... I think there were moments where we'd walk home from the bar and the security guard was like, They're having threesomes every night. This couple's so freaky. They were all pretty good-looking. It's not that. It just never... They treated me like I was their sister. Yeah, they just didn't give that vibe. I was I feel good at... Girls would talk to me or they'd be like, That girl's cute. I would have fun with the game, trying to make everyone friends. I love trying to hook people up. But that's how I met Haley in that I had just gotten from a breakup and I had no girlfriends. You know after a breakup where you feel like you're so sick of masculine energy. If I have to make eye contact with a man, I'm going to throw up.

No, I could not be in the same room as a man after a breakup.

You just want to envision getting ready with girls and drinking Martini's and gross guys coming up to the bar and your friend, like, karate-chopping them and being like, Don't fucking talk to her.

Yeah, you want to have sleepovers. You want to giggle in bed and laugh so hard. Literally.

Yeah. I talked and I saw Haley, and Haley was like, I have so many girlfriends, and we know no guys in the city. I'm like, I have so many men who I'm friends with who I actually think are good guys. I want to make friends with you. You make friends with me. And that's really a better way than being at 3:00 AM and seeing some guy in the dark.

And then they got married Married Hannah.

I know.

How many couples have you set up?

Three. And one of them was accidental because he cheated on me with her.

Right, right, right.

But that didn't really count. It was college, and he was a hockey player.

But they got married. So I feel like it does count I say three, which means I'm going to heaven.

Not to rub it in everyone's face, but the curly gates are opening for me.

I feel like also there's something to be said that I might also be going to heaven because everyone I've ever dated, whoever they've dated after me, they've stayed with. Good luck, Chuck. Yeah. And I don't know if that's because I traumatize them. What does that say about you?

So much. Yeah, either you got them ready or they were like, If I have to date another girl, I don't think I'm going to make I don't think I'm going to make it.

I like to think it's the former, and I think I literally was like, And now you're ready to meet someone, go and prosper. But I know too much, and I've seen too much with you. But I feel like I've helped in a way that- Now that I've gotten to know you, I know a thousand % that I hate everything about you.

I do want to start an app, and I don't know if people be interested because I miss... I I love dating. And as a married person, I'm living vicariously through my friends. But I love meeting someone and they're single, a girl or a guy. And you know when they're like, I want to meet someone, and you're like, This person has potential. They look ready, they're beautiful, or they're smart, or they're funny. I want to have an app where I could put them in my Rolodex. Then I have a Rolodex of guys who are single who I know and a Rolodex of girls who are single that I know. Then I just have to press and they get recommended by me to start talking. And then if they start talking, you win a FabFit Fun box or something.

Hannah, that's just being a matchmaker. You don't need an app for it. People have been doing it for thousands of years. Literally that. Company's invented. There's millions of them.

Okay. Thanks for just not believing in my dreams.

No, I think you should do that. And I think you should start taking note of the single people you meet and setting more people up. Because I do think you are... There is this... I think people either have that talent or don't. I'm horrible at setting people up. Horrible. Because I'm like, Wait, you're crazy. I know someone who's so fucking crazy. You guys are going to love each other. And they do for the first couple of months. And then they're like, This is the most horrible situation.

And they burn each other's house down.

I'm like, But you guys had a lot of fun that first two weeks. And that's because of me.

Also, we've gotten a lot of interest on Chris recently. We're filming this virtually, so Chris is not in the room with us currently. And we love Chris, and I think he's such a catch. He's single.

He's young, too. He's...

How old is he? He's 26, I think. But a lot of the gigglers are young, and I think maybe we should do a dating show with him. Or even a live show in New York City where we bring him on stage or something.

I think there's something definitely there in 2024 for Chris.

There's something there. But I like that we're talking about when he's not in the room because I don't want him to be too excited. No.

He doesn't listen to the giggly squad.

I think that we care. Wait, why did you write birth control at Christmas?

Oh, I just was around a bunch of babies, and I was like, Yeah, no. I literally said it out loud at Christmas dinner. I don't think my family loved it. I was like, All your kids are just making me birth control side effects. And my mom looked at me and I was like, Whatever. This kid's annoying the shit out of me.

See, my problem is my brother's kid is so cute. And I'm delusional, so I think I'm her favorite. And I think she loves me. And I think one day she's going to be like, I want to move to New York to hang out with my cool, crazy aunt.

I think that's true, though. But that's different because that's your sibling's child. So that's basically your kid.

True. Yeah.

Right? No. It has half your blood.

That is my child. You're not your child. I'm a mother.

You're literally a working mom. Mom, you're working this hard so that she doesn't always have to be the new girl. Okay? This is why you work.

I did go off on Amazon. I bought this bitch so many $12 toys on Amazon.

Wait, I was going to say, I wanted to ask, what did you get Lois for Christmas?

I went on Amazon and I bought her all these... My brother wants her to be an engineer or something, so I bought her all these smart things. And they sent me videos of her playing with it and saying, Thank you, Hannah. She loved it. It was I'm not cute as shit ever. It's so cute. And Des was like, Calm down. Calm the fuck down.

Oh, my God. There's another delusion that I have, and I was saying this to Craig the other day. I have this delusion that I genuinely was put on this Earth to be a mom because I have this delusion that my child is going to literally do something really insane, either be the President or save mankind. I feel. Really? I am going to have a child that is so smart and that people are going to be like, How did they come from you?

I could see that happening.

Where I'm just like, I don't know. He was reading at two years old, and I'm just still stunning and gorgeous in the documentary. I'm in my 70s, but I'm just gorge. Not a day of work done.

My favorite TikTok this week was this guy who I posted him crying in front of a mirror. It's like when you're sobbing because something horrible happened, but then you think about how good it's going to be in your documentary. And then you smile. That's how I live my life. Everything I do, I go, Oh, my God. If there was a camera, there was a camera.

I think that's so true. You're either born as a child like that or not. My whole child I would say to my mom, it's great for my E. True Hollywood story. And she'd be like, what?

And I'm like, no. You're a maniac. You were three years old and you were like, this is for me. You're like, I can't wait to show my MTV Cribs.

Do you remember the show on VH1? It was called Driven or Drive. And it was mini-documentaries about celebrities. It was very niche, and I honestly could have made it up because it was such a random memory. But I used to watch them. I would watch all them.

That's the only reason I know about the '80s.

Yeah, and be like, Oh, my God. They're just a famous pop singer, and I need to be a pop singer.

Oh, my God. I watched a really good documentary about Jelly Roll. Do you know who Jelly Roll is?

Yes.

Okay, so I didn't know, but on Am... No, Hulu, there's one about him because I go deep. Because I love just watching people's stories of people who overcome something and then become successful because it's a part of my conversation, too.

He has a crazy story. Him and his wife?

So he was in jail. He was doing heroine. He was just getting in loads of trouble. And then he had a daughter with someone. And in that moment, he was like, I have three options. Do music, which was always my dream, and fully commit to it to try to make my daughter proud, go back to selling drugs, or get a boring job and just try to make it work. And if plan A doesn't work, we're doing plan B. He doesn't even realize he knows how to sing. He always was a rapper. And then he just was like, Oh, I guess I sing from the right place in my stomach. And he just sounds like a fucking songbird. And he's like, face tads, and he's out of shape, and he's very unhealthy and open about it. And he puts out this song that's so vulnerable, basically of a tough man singing, just saying, I don't know if I'll be good enough, and just feeling like he disappoints everyone. And it gets to 200 million views on YouTube.

And how long ago was that? When did he start?

This was beginning of COVID, 2020, when Giggly Sweat started, as everyone knows. So it blows up. And the next thing you know, it's just like... And he loves talking to people. He goes to rehabs. He talks to kids in juvie. He's just such a fucking inspirational guy. And And he's like, I could be dead. And what's funny is he met his wife, who loves to party, too. And she has a top podcast, Bunny. A top podcast. And people think she's a gold digger, but she was the one who had money when she met him because she was in the entertainment business. She's the reason he succeeded in anything. It literally. So I post I Love Jolly Roll, and five minutes later, he fucking DMs me back. Stop. And he's like, Oh, love your videos. Big fan. You should come to show some time. My wife and I want to come to one of your shows. And I'm like, what is this life I'm living?

Wait, I'm obsessed with his wife.

I'm obsessed with them both. Yeah. Obsessed with them both. So they're killing it. Now he just won the Newcomer of the here at the CMAs. And it just makes me so happy.

You love to see good things happen to good people.

And I like to see good things happen to people that there were moments that all they had was themselves to believe in. Right. Everyone, no one believed in them, and they were in a dark spot. Speaking of people who don't believe in people, have you seen the Simone Biles drama? Yes, I love it so much. Or were you throwing up?

No. I mean, yes, I probably was throwing up. But the whole video of them being like, Do you know who Simone Biles is? And everyone being like, Yes. And then no one knowing who her husband is and him saying he was the prize.

Yeah. So they brought Simone Biles' husband, who's this beautiful man. And they were just like, How did you get Simone Biles? And he's joking. And he's just like, I actually didn't know who she was. And she pursued me. And she's laughing and she's giggling. And people got really I'm not even fucking mad at that. And then she even stepped up to be like, I'm going to be his wife. I don't even know his name to say, but she's like, I'm going to be known as his wife. And people were like, That's so fucking nice of you. Yeah.

She was like, In a couple of years, I'll be like, Mrs. Owens. We're like, No, you won't, Simone.

No, babe. But we're all like, No, babe. If that makes him feel better, but let's not gaslight everyone. But then she recently did an interview where they asked... Who was it? It was Kevin Hart.

Yes, I saw this.

Did you see that shit? That was what pissed me off. So they go, and look, we don't know what happens with couples behind closed doors, but we're looking out here because she's a national treasure. And she's putting her relationship out there, which is a choice because now she has to deal with people judging. But they said, Who is better at their sport. And she's so humble and nice just being like, oh, whatever. I mean, obviously, you are a bitch. You've won everything.

And I literally don't know who he is. You literally have gold medals, which the whole point of having a gold medal is to state that you are the best in the world at this thing.

But then she goes, But I would argue that my sport is a lot harder than his, which I 100% agree with. And it's not that football is a very difficult sport, but you have a whole team. Certain positions, all you do is defense, or all you do is push people. Certain roles are obviously harder, but gymnastics, you have to do... It's insane. And she goes, I actually did his workout and crushed it, and he couldn't do my workout. These are just... She's... That's a fucking receipt right there.

And that's just a fact. That's just a fact.

That's called period. And she goes, But I'm not allowed to bring it up. We can't talk about it.

And that made me upset. Yeah.

That made me upset because I've been in relationships that are competitive, where you can't talk about what you want because you know they're not actually rooting for you. And obviously, you can get around it for so long until you're just like, I'm up. Spoon of spade.

Just have fucking respect for me.

And you have to suck up the fact that you're not as good at what you do, but I appreciate what you do. It doesn't make you less of a person, but let's not pretend we're blind.

I think the larger part of that is like, okay, yes, she's not allowed to talk about it because it obviously starts fight in their household, and it's to keep the peace. But I think the bigger thing is like, okay, then Simone Biles, you're in a relationship where you actually can't be yourself. Because if you're not allowed to talk about how great you are at your job and what you do every single day, and then how are you being yourself? And after a time of not being yourself, you then forget who that person even is. And then you really- Oh, yeah.

So you don't even know what she had wanted and what she liked. And as someone who's very shallow, my whole life I've been shallow. I like being with guys who are better looking than me. I've learned that that shit after two weeks, you're like, Okay, he has a nice nose. And then you you see the reality of who he is and you're like, This fucking sucks. It's cool to have other people be like, Oh, my God, your husband's hot or your boyfriend's hot. That's fun for literally three seconds. Then you're stuck with being like, Yeah, but he makes me feel shit about myself or like, Yeah, but he's emotionally unstable or yeah, but he's empty inside and I feel unfulfilled.

I think we only, as women, we only talk about men being jealous in terms of other men. We never talk about men being jealous of their actual partner. And it's such a different form of jealousy. I feel like we normalize like, Oh, yeah. If you're talking to another guy and your boyfriend comes up and he gets a little jealous, we normalize that. We actually almost like it. But I feel like as women, we never talk about husbands being jealous of their partners for just being themselves and succeeding. I think it's something that women push down because it's just easier for them.

I mean, think about it. A lot of our moms were still the first moms in their family to go to college, and they're competing against men who have been in the working field for ever. So a lot of our moms were not the breadwinners. My mom ended up doing amazing. She became Principal of a School, and she was really powerful, and my dad fucking loved it.

But I always think about things that happened to me on reality TV, I think about it in terms of how am I going to explain it to my daughter, which is so crazy because I know one day she's going to see something and ask me about it. So in terms of this, when people are like, She doesn't love her boyfriend if she won't move for him. Never in my fucking lifetime would I ever teach my daughter to give up everything they've ever wanted, everything they've ever worked for, to prove to a guy that she loves them. I just think that's crazy. I would never- I just think we need to normalize asking Craig to move to New York.

He has a country house in the South. I also do think that because Like, Des and I are both in comedy, we do get a lot of like, is there competition? Actually, I think the number one reason why Des and I work is because he's rooting for me and because he's had his own career and he's older and tired. That he's excited for my career. I have been in situations where you're afraid to tell someone that something good happened. Yes. I remember once I was with a guy, and he He was pretty popular. I remember the first time I ever got recognized by someone who enjoyed my videos. I had just started posting videos. And he made fun of it, mocked it, and made me feel a little embarrassed by it. I remember laughing. And then I got home and I called my mom, and we had that moment where I was like, Isn't it cool that someone recognized me on the street for my videos? And we were giggling and happy and like, Holy shit, this is so cool. I'm like, That was the experience I should have had with my significant other. Yes.

But he literally couldn't let me have that moment for one second because it was hurting his fragile masculinity. But I'm a bull in a China shot, bitch.

I'm coming through. I had this literally the same exact thing happen. And the guy I was with thought that he was getting recognized because he was a small investor in a pizzeria. I said, maybe, maybe. Let's just go out on a limb here. Maybe they recognize me because I'm on a national television show and their girlfriend watches it.

But I also... When sometimes, Des and I will be out and we'll see someone from Ireland who will lose their fucking mind because they see Des, and they have no clue who I am. They don't even know I'm dating him. And they'll be like, Dating him? I'm married. Anyway, they'll be like, Can you get a photo? And I literally love that moment so much because I'm so like, I forget that he's inspired people and people love his work. And he's a man of the arts, too. And it's just like, that's the bare minimum is to have a guy. You don't have to walk on eggshells for when good things happen to you. But it's two types of people. Some people, I guess, don't want to be more of a caretaker and lift the guy up. And that's fine. I don't.

That's fine.

I don't support men, but that's fine.

I could never. I would never compliment them or ever tell them they're doing a good job, but that's fine. Give us 10 minutes in the room with Simone Bile's husband. Bring him up on stage, is he trash?

Because the gigglers- We will rip him.

The gigglers would say two sentences to him, and he'd be crying. He'd be crying.

Let me, Adam. Let me speak to that man. Anyway, guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. Make sure you sign up for a newsletter. We're listing all our favorite things of the year. And then we can start pretending that we're going to be new people. I'm sorry, I can't do the whole recap anymore. People recapping their year because everyone makes it like they had the greatest year of their life. And it's giving everyone's comparing. And then I feel so much pressure for this year. I'm like, Oh, no, I got to start strong this year if I have to have a good- I didn't even look back in the months for pictures because I was like, 6 of those months, I was depressed.

I know I didn't do anything. And here's the other thing. It's just photos of- I don't want to change. I'm literally perfect. And I think everyone else should change and recognize it. So Happy New Year to you.

I was perfect this year. I'm going to be perfect next year. But I do just have screenshots of sad quotes in my phone about trying to forget about your past and not get worried about the future.

I am probably going to vision board tonight, but that's for me and my therapist to deal with.

Vision boards are too much admin. People are actually out here cutting and pasting.

Yeah, I think I'm actually going to do it because I do like doing arts and crafts like that. I love coloring and shit like that. I would do it with you.

I feel like if I do it alone, it's Wait, also, what was the grape thing people were doing?

I'm going to make Craig do it with me. He'll do it. If you eat twelve grapes under the table at midnight, it's supposed to manifest love relationships. Oh. And you're supposed to wear red underwear. Where did that start?

Where did that start?

I don't know where it start. It's not like a witch thing or anything. I want to think- I've never heard that in my fucking life until yesterday when all the girls had it in their purse.

And I was like, never came across my desk.

I heard about it maybe two years ago.

Also, finally, have you watched Saltburn?

I haven't.

You have to watch it, and we'll talk about it next week, and you have to. This is like homework.

I did watch Priscilla with Jacob Alorty, and I really liked it. It actually was really sad. I felt bad. You feel really bad for her. She was kidnapped in plain sight. Wait, I need to watch it.

Where was it? Where can you watch it?

I think it's on Apple.

Okay, anyway, we're done here. We love you. Thanks for getting to me. We're done here. We have to go. Bye.