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Acast recommends podcasts. We love Chris and Rosie Ramsey here. Listen to our british podcast award and comedy award winning podcast.


I also won the most handsome podcast co host award, didn't I?


Yeah. Okay, about that. I might have made that one up.




Yeah. In our podcast, we talk beefs, parenting, grown up, and so much more.


What about me? Most improved podcaster trophy?


Yeah, that one as well. Just search married, annoyed, wherever you get your podcast.


Don't you dare tell me that you made up my podcast participation certificate as well.


We need to have a chat.


Acast is home to the world's best podcasts, including the Blind Boy podcast. Ready to be real with Sheila Shoiga and the one you're listening to right now. Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi Fi manifest.


That shit.


We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.


What is up my gaggle of gigglers?




I never make announcements.


Let's do some housekeeping. Let's do some housekeeping.


We never do announcements.


We never do alerts, notifications, admin, nothing.


We don't know how to housekeep. I also. I'm not good at teasing because I've never kept a sacred once in my life, except ones that I forgot.




So in a week, on Monday, on the 22nd, I have an announcement. That's all I'm going to say.


Oh, you're not even announcing it right now? No, I actually am livid. I'm livid, and I know what it is. So the gigglers are Homer like. Okay, so why'd she even bring it up?


Because I want to start some.


Start the hype. Sorry. Then I'm just unrobing during your story.


It's just, she wanted to show up in her outfit, so she wore a.


Full fur, had a moment.


Fur coat over the turtleneck sweater and a headband. How fucking sweaty are you?


Here's the thing. I will say. All these bitches that are out here, like, clean girls out. It's mob wife.


Oh, my God. I was about to say, first of.


All, if you're a mob wife, you don't say you're a mob wife.


First of all, first of all, yes. Second of all, you can't just wear a fur coat and be a mob wife. Have you left a lasagna on anyone's stoop ever?




Have you even eaten lasagna? Because a lot of these girls look like they've never even smelled a lasagna.


Here's why I'm mad at the, like, clean girl is out mob wife is in because, one, it's offensive and no one's bringing awareness to it. And two, I don't know if I ever told you this story, but one year, my family switched their family vacay from the lovely shore of New Jersey to Martha's vineyard. Okay. We rented a house. It was my whole family, all my cousins, and my mom said that we could each bring a friend. Okay. So I brought my best friend from high school. I was in college. My brother, out of college, also brought a friend. Okay. So it's the four of us. We go out to dinner with my family. Lovely. Great. We're not loving Martha's vineyard at this point. Okay. It's like, a little. It's okay.




Yeah, a little uppity. We weren't getting the hype. Like, food was okay.


People were calling you italians.


Didn't have pancakes anywhere. We go to dinner with my family. We're all of age at this point. My brother says, let's go to a bar, like, the four of us. After dinner, we walk into the bar. Now I'm wearing a pretty normal outfit on vacation. It was a black romper, but it was also 2014. Like, what else was I wearing? It was the summer of the bumpet. Not my fault. Okay? Not my fault. If you think I'm going to overlook that infomercial.


Not my fault.


We walk into the bar, and we're there for, like, maybe five minutes, and my brother's like, oh, this place is kind of lame. There's another place right down the street. Do you want to go to it? And I was like, yeah, let's go. As we're walking toward the door, we just hear people yell, yeah, get out of here, Jersey shore. We don't want you. What? I was like, there's no way.


First of all, they're talking New York us.


I was like, you, sorry. What were you mad about? That we have the best food on the planet? Or were you mad that our cars are so luxurious? Were you mad that our heels are top notch? Like, what were you mad about? That we were there? So anyway, so you got kicked out of I hate Martha's Vineyard, and I.


Hate Martha's waspy people. Karen.


No. Literally, Martha's Vineyard can suck it. To this day, if anyone brings up Martha's Vineyard, I say, it's rude. It's rude there, and I don't like it. Oh, my God, no. Is that so mean? I was, like, fixing my bump, and I was like, how dare you fast forward 20 years, my boyfriend. I don't fucking think so.


I totally get what you're saying. Also, did we talk about how I met Vinny, or do I try to bring this up every episode?


Knew. You're obsessed with him. I think maybe we touched on it.


Okay, so, Vinny, I've been following him for a while, and there are some people you follow that you're like, I know I'm your friend.


I feel like I could say Vinny's whole life story.


I knew that if we met for 1 second, you would hit it off. And I think he dm'd me and was like, do you want to do, like, a podcast or something?


He's like, should I just replace.


Actually? So we went to hang out first to talk, and he's like, interesting comedy. And I was like, talking about comedy.


Is he funny?


He is funny. I feel bad that he's grown up in reality tv, because you could just.


Tell because he was the youngest.


He was 18 when he started. That's all that man knows. So he's just so fucking famous in that scene, and he wants to be something else besides the character. He wants to be like himself, and he's fucking New York.


He gives me such house cat vibes.


Yes. And his Instagram's hilarious, like, all the shit he posts. So it's crazy that I've met celebrities, and I haven't been nervous around. I was sitting starstruck. Starstruck. Because he talk about our culture. Italians have gotten mad, like, don't show that Jersey Shore is our culture. Because the truth is, Vinny was the only one who was actually italian, which.


Is crazy to think about. No one was 100% italian.


No, only Vinny.


People were like, a little bit italian, but Vinny was the most for sure.


So it's crazy to see him and talk to him like he's a normal person. When I'm like, we had Jersey Thursdays in college where everyone came to my apartment to watch Jersey Shore. That was before you can just say, tebow.


What the fuck is Tebow?


Actually, people don't talk enough about. Why are tv so complicated? No. Why do you need seven remotes? You can't to turn on a tv.


You can't go to someone else's house and just turn the tv.


Is it not insane that if it's not your own tv, you don't know how to work it?


Have you ever been to a boy's house when there's also, like, a rogue Xbox controller, and you're like, use this. I'm like, what?


Oh, my God.


I'm like, how do I use that?


He uses an Xbox controller to turn on his tv. You will get chlamydia.


Yeah, 100%.


You will get chlamydia.


He's texting multiple other and he won't.


Go down on you.


If he says, here, just turn it on with the Xbox controller, grab your things and get out.


He won't go down on you. And one of his other roommates will start hitting on you when he's in the bathroom and you'll be like, what the fuck is going on on here?


I actually have a celebrity starstruck moment that happened to me this week.




That I didn't even tell you about.




So I had to go to LA.


I love telling the gigglers all the secrets.


So I had to go to LA and for literally one day. And my flight back to New York was Thursday morning, 06:00 a.m. So it's early. Like, we're taking off at 06:00 a.m. It's early.




Midweek. I didn't want to get back. When you fly from LA, that's it. You're a time traveler. That day's gone. Like, you're gone.


You might as well go to Europe.


No, literally. So I like the fucking moon. So I get on the flight and everyone's on the, at this point, everyone's on the plane. And I've already have my headphones on my iPad. I'm watching one tree hail seat next to me is open. I was like, there's no way they're leaving a Delta one seat open for this entire flight. They must be upgrading someone from comfort. So I'm sitting there, sitting there. All of a sudden this large presence gets onto the plane and I'm like, oh my God, he's definitely coming to sit right next to me. Common, I was starstruck.


I mean, I was the man on the main rose. That's my shit.


That song is my shit. He comes, he sits next to me, and we're in the middle aisle. So we're in like the couple's seats, so there's not much in between.


So I'm dating. During those 6 hours of flight, when you're in the seat next to someone, you are their girlfriend.


I was like, this is so crazy of us. We're just going on like a quick trip.


Were you imagining for a second if you were Common's wife?


I was like, what are people around thinking? Like, oh my God, that must be his girlfriend. She's cute and tiny. So he sits down and I'm like, what the fuck do I do?


He calls over the stewardess and he goes, can you not sit me next to a dirty italian? He goes, what kind of jersey? Short? I paid good money for this.


This is supposed to be first class and this is what you're filling and.


It smells like Parmesan. Okay, get me the fuck out of here.


There's olive oil all over the seat. I don't know what to do because I'm like, do I take my headphones off and say, hi? Is that rude? Obviously I know who it is. So I just sit there and he's like getting his stuff ready. As he sits down, puts his seatbelt out, puts his seatbelts on, he takes out the Bible. He's sitting there reading the Bible. I've never nervous, I've never felt so calm in my life.


What page was he on?


Fall right to sleep. I go, common, you read that? I've already read that one.


That one's for you.


I'm going to vault.


He hypnotized you. Hypnotized me.


I immediately felt like, I feel like really comfortable.


Wait, he literally sat down and he goes, this Italian next to me has sinned. I can tell she has sinned on tv, off tv, on her podcast. I need to take out the Bible.


I can feel the energy. We're going to pray for that. So I fall asleep whole flight. I literally wake up when the pilot's like, okay, we're starting our descent into New York City. So I'm like, forget that. Common is sitting next to me.


Is he still reading the Bible?


No, he's now asleep. Okay.


So peaceful, adorable.


Literally almost took my finger in his. Like, it took everything in me. And I'd be like, boop.


Did he have a hat on?


No hat. Oh, he was, yeah, he was not like incognito at all. And he's fucking huge. You're not missing him. So he wakes up, I can see him kind of like wake up. And at this point I take my.


Headphones because you're watching him from the corner of my.


I'm like, I've been waiting for you to wake up. So I'm like getting stuff out of my bag. I put chapstick on and then I am about to eat some tic tacs. So I'm like, I should offer common TikTok. So I just turn anyone sitting next to me if I take like a snack out or like a piece of gum, I always am like, do you want a piece?


Wait, that's crazy behavior. If someone offered me a random piece of gum, I'd be like, this is how I die. They're poisoning me.


It was a six hour flight. Like, you wake up and you're just like, I was roast.


It's like in school when you open up gum and then people just put their hand in front of you. I've never offered, so imagine comment was just like, put his hand in front of you.


My comment, chill out. So I turned to him, and I'm just, I literally don't even say anything. I'm just like, TikTok because I'm, like, about to eat mine. And he goes, oh, no, that's okay. Thank you so much, though. And I was like, you're welcome. And I was like, great interaction. That was a great interaction with comment. Plane lands, everyone's getting their stuff. I stand up, and he was like, I just wanted to say thank you again for offering me a tic tac. That was so nice of you. And I was like, thank you so much.


Common's the nicest person in the world.


The nicest person. He goes, do you live in New York or LA? I go, I live in New York. And he goes, well, it's about to be really cold. And La people were saying it's cold there. They don't even know. And I was just like, yeah, those la people, they don't know shit. And I go, just to say I'm a huge fan. And he was like, oh, my God, thank you so much. Have a great week. And I was like, when is our engagement party?


Dude, you are so cool. Because I would have immediately been like, okay, your song, I'm the man.


Because you're not going to act like you don't know who the fuck common is. Like, there was a guy walking on the plane, and even he was like, oh, my God, she's sitting next to common.


No, it's crazy. This is the thing. That was such an amazing story. Thank you for that content for the pod.


Thank you, thank you.


It also pisses me off because I'll have kind of bad experiences with some famous people who are much less famous than common. And you'll be like, no, they're famous. I get it.


I would say he's a list.


Yes, he's won Grammys. Then one person's nice to you, and you're like, that was not so fucking hard, right? Also, after a flight, if you're going to be bitchy, that's the time for people to be bitchy.


It was 06:00 a.m.. No, he was so nice to the point where a rogue person who was like, the last person was walking onto the plane. And I thought he just saw common as a fan. And he was like, oh, my God, common. No, he didn't say common. He just said, oh, my God, like, ma'am, what's up? And he was like, oh, my God. Hey, I owe you an email. He knew him and he was just like a man of the people.


He's a man of the people. He's running the plane.


Our savior.


You believed that if the plane was going down, he could save it.


Now, if the plane was going down and someone said, can anyone land this plane?


I said, this man with the Bible.


I'd immediately be, um, hello. We weren't reading the ephesians for nothing. Craig, shut the fuck up.


Craig, sit the fuck down.


I'm like, craig, why don't we watch your iPad more? Okay, Miss Rachel's almost done. Comment? Land the fucking. Wait, sorry, my eyelash fell out. Do you see it?


Your eyelash just said, I'm done.


I'm out.


Your eyelash just.


I have these new eyelashes that I have to tell all the gigglers about because I'm obsessed.


Do they go under your eye?


They're amazing.


Okay, well, can you tell it? Because now I need to know.


Kiss brand kiss. You get them on Amazon, I'll put them in the newsletter. Like, you could do them.


And you don't need glue?


No glue.


How does it stick?


It literally is glued at the top.


Pre glued.


And then it sticks to the bottom lash.




I need, like, underneath. They're so easy. Way easier than my magnetic ones that I used to be obsessed with.


I do have to say with the mob wife and clean esthetic.




Have you seen that thing going on on Instagram called high visual weight versus low visual weight makeup?


Yes. And I'm going to be honest, I scroll.


So I was invested.




And I realized it makes some sense. They say, like, if. It's hard to see because I think everyone looks kind of good with the glam filter on.




But the point is that if you have a bigger face and smaller features, that means you're one of them.


Low visual weight. Yeah.


And if you have a small face and big features, then I realize that's like me and you. That you have, like, big eyes.


Yeah. And a small.


I didn't mean that I called you a bambi eyed bitch, just that, I mean, you're Hannah.


You would literally have to chop my head off for me to get mad. And even then, I'd be like, I'm sure it was like, you have the.


Most beautiful brat style eyes.


So would I be high or low?


So you're the one with the big features, small face.




And then I feel like I have a bigger face, small features, and they said my kind of face. If I wear a lot of eyeshadow.


Or a lot of makeup, it looks bad.


Like, I look draggy.




I was thinking how you can handle makeup better than me, because we will be with a makeup artist, and they'll do your makeup, and I go, give me what she got. And then I come out and I go, mine looks so different than yours. And I realized I have to go more clean girl esthetic and not clean girl. Just like, I can't do eyeshadow. That goes too dark or too near my eyebrows. I need just a little bit on the lid, or it starts getting like, do you feel like Adam family?


But I don't feel like, for whatever reason, you saying that you can't do a dark eye makeup, I don't feel like that's real, because it's not like you have, like, a hooded eyelid, that it doesn't look okay.


You just came for the whole hooded community.


As someone with a wonky eye, I actually can speak on that.


One of my eyes is a little hooded. Long story short, I kind of get what they're saying, but I'm realizing is just like, not everyone looks good with certain makeups. When you're looking at TikTok and you see some girl do this crazy look, don't assume it's going to work on you. And that's why influencing just doesn't always work. Same with body types. You can't wear the same outfit as someone with a different body type. Like, if I see someone with a short torso and I wear that outfit, my nipples are hanging out from under the shirt. Right.


Anywho, Acast recommends podcasts.


We love Chris and Rosie Ramsey here. Listen to our british podcast award and comedy award winning podcast.


I also won the most handsome podcast co host award, didn't I?


Yeah. Okay, about that. I might have made that one up.




Yeah. In our podcast, we talk beefs, parenting, grown up, and so much more.


What about me? Most improved podcaster trophy?


Yeah, that one as well. Just search married, annoyed. Wherever you get your podcast, don't you.


Dare tell me that you made up my podcast participation certificate as well.


We need to have a chat.


Acast is home to the world's best podcasts, including the Blind Boy, podcast, ready to be real with Sheila Shoiger and the one you're listening to right now.


So I got a text being like, hey, the way it works with courtside.


We'Re now on to the next.


We're done.


High, low, visual, it doesn't matter.


I got confused. Got it.




So with the Knicks, the courtside, there will be seats available.




And some of the seats go to the owner's friends, family, and then some of the seats go to people who buy it, and then some of the seats go to random celebrities, if you will. Yes, celebrities. So I had mentioned, like, I'd love to go with my dad for his birthday because it was January 11, his birthday. Shout out, dad.


That was so nice of you.


No, talk about. I mean, I feel bad for my brother. What are you doing?


Yeah, what do you bring to the table at all?


You have a daughter.




Sounds exhausting.


Yeah. What's your dad's phone background?


My dad's instagram is just like me and him.




And my mom.




But I know deep down he wants my brother's approval the most, because he knows I love. I'm obsessed with him.




My brother plays hard to get in the family.


Yeah. My brother acts like he's better than all of us and doesn't want to be associated.


I was just watching Nick Kroll's special, which is so good, you guys have to watch it. Oh, my God, it's so funny.


Do you want to know something weird about Nick Kroll? I follow his personal chef on TikTok, and I'm really invested in her life. His personal chef in the Hamptons makes such good.


What's her name?


I forget, but it's all about what she makes for lunch and dinner. And it's for Nick Kroll. Yeah. And it's just a like in the background sometimes. I think eventually she said who she was.


Imagine he, like, thrives the plate like Gordon Ramsay. Like, what is this shit?


I think he doesn't care. Yeah, make your TikTok.


So he joked about how moms need to play hard to get more and how you call them and they answer before it even rings. And you're like, never mind. Or she'll be like, can you read this article?


And he's like, me, mom?


No. Yeah. And he's like, no matter when your mom texts you, you're always like, fuck, but not like us. We love our mom.


Right. I genuinely.


I only want to talk to my mom all day.


If my mom calls me or texts me, I'm like, oh, she has something to tell me.


No, this is different for us. But then he talks about the dads, how you'll call your dad and he's like, hey, I'm not going to make your birthday. And you're like, it's okay, dad. I love you. He's like, also, I don't know when your birthday is. No, that is true.


You're so much meaner to your mom. But I think really, they should take it as a compliment because it just means we're closer to them. I can be myself. Do you ever meet people who they get around their family and you're just.


Like, who are you? They become a monster.


And you're just like, does your family even know you? They don't know the real them. I genuinely can walk in my house and say anything and it'd be like, yes, everyone knows everyone's business with our family.


There's just too many callbacks because we've too many had too many inside jokes at the years. You can't do anything without being like, not this again. But I also feel like, with the moms, they birthed you, so they don't care to play hard to get. They're like, you ripped my vagina and my butthole. You're going to love me and I'm going to love you. Where dads are just there.


There's also a moment that people don't talk about, and it's a moment that. And I feel like this really only works if you have a sister. Really only if you have a brother. I feel like the moment that you become an age, and mine, I think, was like, 29, 30, that you see your mom and you're just like, are you okay? Where you're just like, wait. You've been dealing with all of these people and everything that everyone wants and literally doing everything, and no one says anything. And then you get to a moment, I was on the phone with my mom the other day, and I was just like, I hate dad and Gary. No.


You see the world from their perspective for a second. And you're like, babe, yeah.


She's like, go on vacation.


Get a facial.


I've been waiting for you to get this old so we can be like, let's fuck off. This is how sick it was. Me and my mom used to be obsessed with Gilmore girls about a single mom and a daughter. And I'd be like, I wish that was like, we have a full family. She was like, well, you do have a dad and a brother. I'm like, whatever, though. We are Lorele and Rory. That is meant to be us. So now that I'm in my thirty s, I just didn't realize how much they make my mom do. And I'm like, have to protect her. I'm like, stop calling her for Shit.


No, it's very widely known that we don't know what would happen if he didn't have my mom.




Where would they be?


Would they do that's a great tv show experiment? Like one day we just kidnapped all the wives and we're just put a surveillance camera and we're like live and we just see what would happen.


Dads in the wild, just lost, scared, crying. So actually I felt bad because my mom's literally done everything. And then I'm taking my dad to the Knicks game.




So I felt bad, but I was like, I have to do something for.


Why does that always happen?


And she was like, go have fun, guys. And I'm like, it should have been you. Yeah, but he's just like obsessed with basketball.


My mom be like, I love you the most.


No, I literally was like, I'm sorry.


You know you're my favorite.


But my dad and I are like the same person, and we're very close, and we love sports. That's like our thing.


We love our dads.


We love our dads. He's the reason I have a good personality.




So I've never done courtside.


Me neither.


And this was like, kind of a dream.




So there's this girl named Devin who designs her own clothing, and she's like, sick.


Wait, is this the girl that does all the.


Different, but she could do that stuff? She actually made this necklace, the clock watch choker, which just makes me feel so cunty.


It's so you.


Oh, my God. Thank you.


You're welcome.


So I found her on, I think I followed her, and she was like, what's up? And I was like, obsessed with you. And she's just Julia Fox before. She's basically a model who's like, she's gorgeous, but she's like, I actually am kind of bored with it, and I want to just create my own stuff. So she was like, come and let's play. Which is so cool. New York, let's play. So I went to her lower east side department or her Eastville department, and I was just like, let's play. And she takes converse, and converse is like, historically the sneaker of the NBA. So there was like, a reason behind it. And she makes into these little two boob things that she ties together over a t shirt. And I'm like, this is wild. And she's like, do you want to be cunt or not? And I was like, let's fucking go. And I'm like, I'm going with my dad. And she's like, do you want to do this? And I'm like, fucking wait.


I feel like I didn't see a picture of what you wore.


I feel like you commented, like, did I? Or maybe you didn't.


Okay, that's a whole other situation that we have to talk about.




That. I've been doing things, like, in my sleep, I think. I'm not kidding. I think I've been sleepwalking. And I don't have anyone to tell me.


Can you videotape yourself?


I'm going to have to set something up. No. I'm scared.


What did you do?


So, when I was in college, one time, one of my girlfriends texted me and was like, did you mean to post this on Snapchat at 230 in the morning?


Oh, no.


And I was like, what the fuck was it of? And she was like, just you sitting up in bed, taking a selfie, smiling.


That would be what you do when you sleep on. You put on a cute outfit, and you take a selfie. I'll eat seven grilled cheeses. You will sit and do a perfectly angled selfie with your high weight face, whatever the fuck it's called.


So then, like, two weeks ago, Sierra texts me in the morning and goes, did you mean to call me at FaceTime, me at 130 in the morning, and just not say anything and just throw your phone? And I was like, what? No.


Maybe you accidentally just, like, pressed.


I went into my closet the other day, and there was a pair of pants that I have not worn in years just on the floor, as if someone tried them on and then threw them on the floor. I don't know who did that. I don't know if I got up in the middle of the night, tried on a pair of pants, took them off and went back to bed.


That is the most page coded thing I've ever heard.


Just getting up, trying on insanely good outfits, and then going to bed.


No. The first time I went to a camp, I was so traumatized, because the first night, someone came in my room at, like, 04:00 a.m. Picked up my cell phone. No. And started going. And I was just lying there and then left. And the next day, the camp people came up to me and they were like, sorry. So and so sleeps, walks, and we think she went in your room? And I was like, I want to go home.


No, you went to a sleep away camp.


It was like a tennis camp.


For how long?


I would always be at, like, for a week. You go and you just train for a week. It's a whole thing. So we're at the next game, and if you get good seats, you go to this place where there's, like, this huge buffet and everyone's having fun, and then you go to your good seats. This was different. You walk in and they take you to this little restaurant. So I walk in, and immediately the guy, the star of get out is just, like, sitting there. Yeah, that's a list. Yeah, I think he just was at the oscars the day before. I go, that's the guy from get out. And I'm with my. And my dad doesn't do this life. He doesn't do this stuff. And I realized my dad is so New York and cool.


He doesn't care who anyone is.


He didn't give a fuck because at first you're worried, like, is the person with me going to freak out or say something? Are we going to get kicked out?




He's focused on the food.


Imagine walking into someplace with your dad, and in the back of your head, you're like, I hope I don't get kicked out of here.


Part of me also, because we never.


Did Danny keep it in check was.


Like, can we see the layups? Because they practice before, and you're actually not allowed to go out until the game starts. And he's like, I can't see the layups. And I go up to the guy, I'm like, my dad wants to see the layups. And the guy's like, you can't. And I'm like, dad, we have to wait. But my dad's, like, focused on the.


Use the word layup in a sentence.


No, my dad is. We come from a family of basketball coaches. That's all we care about. Basketball is life. Ball is life. So the get out guys there, I'm like, that's crazy. Ronnie Chang comes in, who is one of Des's good friends. So I'm like, okay, I'm, you know, friends with people. Luke Wilson from legally blonde. Ligu blonde is there. Matt Dillon.


Oh, my God.


So fucking hot.


Matt Dylan. Super tall, right?


Super tall, hot. Zaddy walks by my dad, and I guess they made guy contact. Eye contact. Guy eye contact. And he just did this. Like, my dad just goes, what's up, man? The guy was like, how are you man. And just gives him, like, a little and keeps walking.


What is.


My dad was boys with every male celeb in there, like, doing, like, dabbing him up. My dad, I think they thought he was someone important.




And not that he isn't. He's my dad. He's very important.


No, he's very important.


He's not involved in the industry whatsoever. He just has a swag about him. Everyone wanted to talk to my dad.


I will give one credit to the male community and one credit only. When they walk into a room and there's other guys that they don't know, they do acknowledge, like, I'm a guy, you're a guy.


You're a guy.


Like, hey, girls.


We don't naturally.


Or if anything, we're like, don't make eye contact.


One of us has to literally go up to the other one and give them 20 compliments for them to feel safe.




Where guys will just be like, what's up, boy?


Yeah. And they are very. Just a nod. A nod will set the tone for.


He literally was like, I was with Luke Wilson in the bathroom, and we chatted. I'm like, about what? And he's like, I don't know. This guy's cool.


Yeah, it's not. Vivica Fox walks in, oh, my gosh.


Who's. I mean, iconic. And this is where shit got crazy. I look up and you know when you just see a familiar face and I say, hey. She looked at me and she said, hey, it was Renee rap. No way. We were at her premiere for four minutes the day before. You can talk about that. We were at her premiere the day before, and she's all over my phone right now. They're pushing the mean girl.


Renee's everywhere.


Renee is that girl at the moment. So she looks at me like. And she must be following me or something. She's like, hey, how have we not met? And I'm sitting in front of my dad, so I'm trying to be cool because he's been cool this whole time, right? And I'm freaking out.


Just imagine your dad is like, you're embarrassing.


No, my dad was literally like, okay, loser.


Your dad's like, you don't know who renave rap is.


I feel like I'm either so cool or I don't know what I'm saying. And she goes, I like your necklace, because I was wearing the choker necklace, and I was like, thank you. And I start talking about the girl, and I probably didn't have to go as in depth as I did. And then I was like, I know you're a makeup artist. And we had a good chat. So I was like, now I'm friends with Renee rat. So then we get on the court, and we're just, oh, yeah, BJ Novak was there, okay. From the office. And another really famous person was there. But I'm forgetting. It felt like the Oscars. We're all sitting in this safe zone, so everyone's acting, like, normal. Like you're seeing celebrities in their natural.


Be normal.


It felt like what? It's probably like in the Oscars bathroom, where everyone's just like, what's. And my dad's the star.


They're like, we got it wrong with Joe coy. We think we need Danny Burner next year. Let's bring him out, ladies and gentlemen. No.


My dad, he was so cool until we get to the court, because all he cares about is basketball, and he's losing his mind. It was actually so cute. And I felt this cool full circle moment where I was like, I've worked really hard, and I felt like it was a way to be like. And he's worked so hard to be my dad. And they've sacrificed.


He's worked hard for you to work hard.


There was work that was had. Yeah, people don't want to work these days, but we did.


Get your fucking ass up and work.


Let's be honest, my mom did most of the work.


Your mom literally set up the whole evening.


But it was the first time in a game that I didn't get distracted because your feet are on the court. Like, you can feel their weight on the court. You're so close to it. And we're yelling. The guy next to me, he was just like a bro. And then at one point, he's like, I thought, I recognize you. So I sent to my wife, and she's a giggler. And I was like, well, she has incredible taste.


Incredible. I feel like I can't go to a basketball game without spending at least one whole period of it being like. And then they make this into an ice skating rink. Every time, it blows to my mind, I'm like, and then they can do concerts here too. Isn't that crazy? I'll never get over it. I'm like, but where is the ice right now? Where's the ice right now? Is it melted? I'm always asking the question.


I don't want to know logistics. I don't want to know how the sausage is made. I want it to be magical.


Walt Disney. Is it underneath the court. Where is it at this exact moment?


Where are you hiding the hockey players?


Where are they sleeping, team? Do they sleep here?


So it was just, like, such a crazy experience. And they give you, like, a handler. So during halftime, a person comes and go and they take you back to the restaurant.


Oh, my God.


So you have a person that's, like, watching you, making sure you guys are good. The problem is I'm wearing my sick fit and, like, my dad. Incredible guy. Not the man that's going to get the photo, and then I'm not going to ask the bro next to me. They kind of tried, but there was, like, a photographer that took, like, one photo of me sitting there, and that was a risk. And the photo was fine. I didn't love it. The angle was not great. So I didn't get the photo, but I wore my outfit. And the people, the feedback, the people liked it. They liked it. Okay, good. They liked it. You don't remember because I don't remember. You don't support women in the art?


No. Here's the thing, Hannah. I see so many outfits all day. All I. Do you remember outfits? Oh, yes. I liked this.


It was a risk.


It's not that risky. I mean, you're wearing a set.


I was supposed to wear it with a skirt, but it was raining out.


No, I think you're cute. No, it matches the.


I will cancel an outfit immediately with a little bit of weather.


We've probably been having the most fashion talks we've ever had.


Well, I think this is becoming a fashion ski podcast.


Definitely a fashion ski podcast. I think my favorite thing about when you text me about fashion is you don't talk about it. You don't say anything, and you just send links, links, links. And then I'll say something and you don't acknowledge it. You just say, link, link, link. So I'm over here deciphering if you liked it or not, if that's the vibe we're going. Is that the direction you're like, I literally can't talk to you.


This is my thing with fashion. When I see it, I know when it works. I don't know how to get there.


No, you with fashion.


No, I'm going through it.


You're Ariana Grande and you're just like. And what a segue.


What do you think? It's getting backlash.


It's getting a lot of backlash. Here's the thing. I love the message, the overall message.


You do? Because people are mad about it. That's the one thing people are mad at.


No, I like the overall message of, like, what are you going to do.


About it if someone talks shit about you with your chest? I don't care.


Her specific situation in context. Yeah. Which is important. Not great. And here's the other thing. You're morphing into your boyfriend, and I don't like it. They look identical.


She went to support him for, like, this. He is, like, on every Broadway show. Do we not know that? He's like the king of Broadway or something. I don't know. I'm not up in that. But he was wearing the funniest costume with, like, a little wig. And this is my thing. She likes guys with swag, like Mac Miller, Pete Davidson.




Sean Paul. No, not big Sean. Wait.


Ariana Grande Sean Paul. Make my 7th grade dance dreams come true.


Then again, this guy might have a massive penis, but then again, not worth it. He's married. Who would you rather date? Oh, my God, we're being so fucked up right now.


Sean Paul. Or I'm always going, Sean Paul, I think.


I don't even know what his name is.


I love this game. The squidward.






Or Benny Blanco. The question of the century.


No, because I hate to say it, but what is that? What is going on with the we?


Because of our own insecurities, we are very shallow. I need to date men who are so much better looking me to feel good about me.


You know what? I actually beg to differ. That you're more shallow.


No, I'm way more shallow than you.


You love a good looking person.


Historically, I love the most good looking guy. And I don't care how bad their personality is, I will milk that till the end.


You appreciate.


I feel like Benny Blanco, you could.


Know with the right jokes.


They both have very high voices. And I'm like a very voice girl. Like, I need a guy with. What's he, baritone? Benny Blanco. He's a producer.




Which is a made up job.


Is there a drama, though? Like, wasn't he really good friends with Justin Bieber?


I think he was, but the yes end thing. Yes end is a reference to improv comedy, too. How? When you're doing improv comedy, you're supposed to say yes. Have you heard of that? It's kind of like podcasting. If you tell a story and I just end it, then it's like, that's not a good conversation. It's like, you have to be yes. And then continue just for all the improv nerds out there.




And then it definitely was very classic to her, like, I'm coming from high school musical type.


It was very theater.


Very theater.


It was giving juilliard.


I don't think it needed the whole audience part. I feel like that was kind of corny.


Yeah. In the music video. Here's the thing. I'm a bad judge because I think music videos sometimes are, like, a little cringe.


You don't love a music video, like.


I'll take it or leave. No. In the 90s, there are some TLC music videos that I've lived my life by.


Yeah, Shakira.


I mean, some just great child.


Christina Aguilera every, like, early two thousand.


S. It was like, what are those things?




Yeah. What kaleidoscope are they living inside of? What is going on? But now I'm like, okay, yeah, put it on TikTok. I don't know. Yeah, make a TikTok instead, people.


I actually do think it's a catchy.


I think it's very catchy.


And she is good at taking drama in her life and then turning. The whole p. Davidson stuff was iconic. All those songs. But people are basically like, we waited four years, and this is the drama you're talking on. Is there something that we don't know? Because I want to come in with a whole heart.


I just feel like I'm over this drama. I feel like it's been happening for, like, a year also.


Like, they're not going to stay together. Maybe they're meant to be.


Maybe they're soulmates.


I think she is continuing the discourse. She likes the talk.


I think she gets bored, but people are upset. Well, she broke up a family. What are we supposed to do? I was on a work zoom the other day.


Humble brag, and I said.


Fucking asshole on it. And right when I said it, here's the thing. It's fine because I was talking about myself. So if you're being self deprecating, it's actually fine.


No, but I know how you feel when you say something that in a certain context would be great, and then you're like, I'm not with those people.


Yeah. And I was just like, sorry, let me rewind there. And then I said it again because I couldn't figure out how to explain myself without being like, guys, am I being a fucking asshole here? Like, I was asking the question. It was an open form.


You're turning into Ariana Grande. She's yelling at people on Zoom, cursing people.


Ten people. And I was like, you tell me if I'm being a fucking, fucking asshole here.




They were like, no, Paige, you're not. I hate to paraphrase here, but.


That'S like me when I did that, I did a live tv show that I ended with the word fuck. The whole time was perfect. At the very end, I said fuck. And they just cut me off. And that's where my career ended.


It's hard because I want to be professional, but also, sometimes I feel like people that try to be really professional, I'm like, shut up. Be real with like, tell me what it.


Like, we haven't been in corporate America for a minute. Thank goodness, thank goodness, thank goodness. Corporate America is like, thank. But, like, I feel like it's weird to be writing a certain way all day and then over an email you have to use, I'll email people wild with, I'm not spelling you in an email, Hannah.


I read an email that I'm putting xos the other day, like, professional. At the end, I said, lol, I'll hit you with an don't.


I'm not taking the time to be like, thank you so much for this correspondence period. I don't have time.


I said deaf. I was like, no, I can deaf do that?


I'll write Yizzer. Y-E-S-S-I-R. Yizzer. I love saying Yizzer because it's just.


Like, I feel like email now is texting.


Yeah, well, it's like we're sending little messages. It's just over the. And like, if someone says sincerely, it's like, are we fighting?


No, I think my signature is like, xoxo page d PhD.


Also, speaking of famous people.




Chelsea Handler. I didn't know the awards were last night.


This is what I'm talking about when I say the universe.


The universe.


She couldn't have planned that revenge.


The Oscars are kicking themselves to end.


It with a little joke. I mean, for her to be like.


Was that the end when she said, my writers? No.


I don't know if it was the end, but I think to end whatever questioning or drama or beef, that was the best little, because she had to.


Acknowledge it for anyone doesn't know. She basically said a joke. It killed. And then she goes, just want you guys know my writers wrote that.


Yeah. Like, thanks for laughing.


Thanks for laughing. My writers wrote it, which is just the perfect acknowledgment. But also, like, not cunting, not me.


Not coming for him. Just also, any comedian hosting that could have made that same exact joke because it's topical, it's quippy. Like, people got it.




Funnier. And dare I say, more evil, which makes it even more funny that coming.


From her, Chelsea Handler, as, you know, love of my life, she also looked great. I was about to.


I think that's probably the best I've ever seen her with that green.


So she's also been just, like, skiing for the last couple months. Like, just skiing with her friends and family. She's glowing. She looks amazing, and she's just so fucking. And honestly, it's kind of embarrassing for men right now. Yeah, so embarrassing. I feel like they've been trying to hold down women because they knew if they let us at it, it would be embarrassing.


I saw a TikTok the other day about just, like, the past year, and the women that crushed it, the women literally kept the economy going.


No, it's embarrassing. And for the Geigers, we're not talking about you. And for the boyfriends or husbands who are listening right now, thank you for being supportive, kings. And we're rooting for you. We want.


We want you to be great.


We love Chris. We support him, and we're wishing him the best. Every day I wake up and I.


Go, I hope Chris makes it today.


I hope Chris fights his demons. But, yeah, Chelsea killed it. And it was, like, just a beautiful moment for funny women. And I think the gigglers are all hilarious women, and she's everything. And she commented on my photo the other day. What did she say? I wore know outfit to the Knicks game, and I was texting my friend about it, and she goes, don't look now, but Chelsea Handler commented on your photo.


And this is like you said, don't look now. Don't look up. At this very moment.


She goes, I was wondering who stitched your boobies together? And then I remembered it was me, your mama.


I don't know what it means because I love it.


I have no idea what that means. And I start freaking out. I go, what do I respond? Like, a date, maybe.


Chelsea's also doing things in her sleep.


She does smoke a lot of weed. Yeah, but the fact that she saw that and goes, I'm going to comment that and say, I'm your mama. So I go, how do I respond? I felt like I just started talking to a guy, and I want to be cool. And she goes, just do that emoji of the big eyes. You're kind of crying. She's like, that always works. And I go, okay. And then I take a risk. I go, trying to keep up with your boobies. That's good. No, I think that. I think it was fine. And she didn't respond, but I think it went well.


But that's fine. Yeah, you would expect. You're not going to respond from a response.


No, that'd be great. I would get a restraining order.


I don't know why she made me think of this, but I think she looks so good in that green dress. I want us to do that thing, like the color analysis. I think we could use that.


This is my problem with color analysis. Whenever I see it and they go, which one looks better on the person? I'm like, I have no clue.


No, we need to go somewhere and have it done.


I think it's a multilevel marketing scheme, but I'm totally open to it. If someone out there is really good at color scheming.


No, I. We love a scheme. I feel like I've gone too long without knowing your color scheme.


I had a friend who was obsessed with it, like, summer, winter, autumn. And I think it's important. We should do it.


I've just seen celebrities and they'll show, like, pictures of them and their outfits and their makeup before they knew their color analysis. And let me tell you, those videos they get me.


So we need to do our color analysis. I think you could probably do a Buzfeed quiz about.


I want someone authentic who's been studying color analysis for 25 years.


Side note, what's this drama about, like, craig not wearing underwear?


Where is the drama?


I think someone dm me being like, ask Paige about Craig not wearing underwear.


Craig doesn't wear underwear literally ever. The only time whole put underwear on is sometimes if we go on a plane, but not always. And if he's wearing a tux or, like, a suit.


So this is insane because Des doesn't wear underwear either.


With jeans? Even with jeans. Yeah. I'm like, what if there's a fire? He goes, if a fire, what am I going to take my pants off and tie them together?


What if you accidentally. What about your bit zip up your dick? Yeah, I mean, I don't care, but I can't imagine it.


I can't imagine it's comfy. I can't imagine it's sanitary.


Yeah, they don't wipe their dick after they pee. So it's just kind of like, I.


Think you're putting a lot of trust in general population to not just come up and punch you square in the dick. That, for me, would be troubling.


Like boxers would really.


It keeps it all together. It keeps it as a united front.


I would say I did see someone talking about how when guys walk, you have to pick a side of the leg that it's just, like, hanging on.


Well, I mean, have you literally ever googled a picture of John Hamm? Yeah.


I should do it daily. Yeah, I do. It's my background. Wait, but I would feel so like. Not that my labia is perfectly symmetrical.


But I feel like men don't even have that. I'll freak out if my sleeve of my arm is caught in my jacket.


I'm like, I can't move.


I'm on gum bay. I feel like they don't notice that shit. They're like, oh, my dick is tucked into my sock accidentally. Like, shoot, they don't know things.




I don't know if Craig knows if it's uncomfortable or, like, I don't know if he's ever thought about it. It's very.


So. Gigglers, if you're listening, if your man does not wear underwear, apparently it's normal.


I mean, there are rare times where I'm not wearing.


Never. You will never see me without underwear. I'll go topless. I will never sleep. I never sleep naked.


I sleep naked sometimes, but it's literally only because I've taken a fresh girl shower. I'm a seal. I'm waiting for my lotion to dry. I'm literally so clean and I just fall asleep.


I don't know what it is. Like, maybe I have a fat pussy, but I just need to feel hugged. I don't want anyone to be able to just slip anything in at any moment.


I live on the edge and alone.


I'm pretty much single.




I was, like, going to hot yoga. And I was thinking about how I've been evolving. I went to hot yoga.


Wait, is hip hop yoga not hot?


Hip hop yoga is hot. Sorry. Hip hop, hot yoga. It's candle it actually, it's like 90 ish degrees.


Okay, wait, that's how they. Wait a minute. Is all hot yoga, hip hop, candled? How are they making. It's all hot yoga.


Okay, this is giving, like, Nick's with the ice. I don't fucking know.


Well, you said, oh, I went to hot yoga. It's candle. Candle lit. Is that how they're making it hot? No, they're making it hot with heaters.


But I think they have fake candles.


Sorry. For a minute, I was like, could.


I make my own hot torch? You have to hold your own torch.


I'm treasure hunting.


You become Leah McSweeney with the tiki torches. Anyway. Anywho, I'm doing yoga. And yoga, there's always. Some people are really into it, some people are in. Everyone has their own journey. What I love about the class is it's dark, so no one's judging. You can't see yourself. There's no mirrors. Like, you're just in your.




And they'll always do this moment where they're like, okay, breathe in. And everyone let it out. And someone was just like, just screamed. And I feel like a couple of years ago I would have been like, okay, I'm calling the police. That's so weird.


But I literally went, you're in your thirty s now.


And you're like, I love this person. Say louder.


Say it louder.


Say it again. I said, whatever they're going through, I want to be involved. And I realize how I've evolved. Where before I'd get like cringe or embarrassed of something and this person just was like, in the moment and breathing out and just living their best life. And in that moment, I was like, that's the kind of person I want to be.


Have you ever screamed into your pillow?


No, I'll punch my pillow.


That's so funny that you just said because I was home the one time and my brother, I don't know how we got on the subject. And he was like, just scream into your pillow. And I was like, what?


He was suffocating myself.


And he was like, you've never just gotten so mad? And I was like, that I screamed into my pillow? No, I was like, have you? And he was like, well, I've punched my pillow and I go, go to therapy, you 36 year old man. I'm not just running home screaming into my pillow.


Hold on 1 second. You go punch my pillow?


I did it not too long ago.


Punching or screaming?


Screaming. Life changing.


Highly recommend.


Highly recommend. Ten out of ten. Let it out, honey. Let it out.


Well, and all those reality shows about celebrities that are on drugs, they go through therapy and they always put them into destroy room, destruction room where they cry and they're just like breaking glasses and shit. I think as a tennis player we break our rackets a lot. Like when I'm mad, I want to throw something once, only once. I think I got in a fight with a boyfriend and I threw my own phone. I've never done that. Yeah, it was very out of character for me.


Yeah, but I was like, why would.


You break your own shit?


I'm trying to think if I've ever thrown something at someone, I mean, I have to off.


I've never thrown something at someone, but I threw my own shit. Like, I was pissed. I think you know what happened? It bounced off the couch and hit something.


I don't know if I've ever broken anything in anger in a fight with someone or I've had to have thrown.


Something at a boyfriend.


Come on. I literally can't even think.


There's so many.


I've definitely thrown something.


Speaking of throwing stuff, the Australian Open is on.


Oh, yeah.


Which we're very into. I'm watching it all day. It's on ESPN at night. It's on tennis channel in the mornings if you have tennis channel. And I'm just very into it. The outfits are not it ever really?


Yeah, they're just not, like, not at the Australian.


Sabalenka looks great. She has this red outfit on, but it's nice to just have in the background while I work and stuff like that.


It's very regal.


It's very regal. There is something good on, I think, apple plus or Amazon or Hulu. I can't remember. There's too many. But it's called, like, the Barbie and Ken murders.


Oh, my God.


And it's this really handsome guy who marries this blonde girl, and he's just, like, murdering women. And then we find out that he's, like, hiding the women in the basement. And then we find out that she kind of may or may not have been involved in it, but she tells the police it's him. And then I fell asleep.


Oh, gosh, Anna. It's called what? Ken and Barbie murder.


Ken and Barbie murder. What's the year that this is, like, the 90s. There's something about 90s murder docs that are fucking slapped.


That's why I asked. There's something more gruesome and eerie about a 90s murder doc than, like, 2014. I'm like, okay, yeah.


Because I think 90s, they could get away with a lot in the 90s. Like, the Internet wasn't good. People didn't have phones, but they had enough footage where, like, an 80s murder. I'm like, is this made up?




I haven't seen any film, so 90s is, like, really fucking good.


Okay, so we're watching that, and then.


I haven't watched Oppenheimer. I haven't watched Flower Moon, which sounds like what I call my pussy.


I just don't have it in me for, like, the long ones. No, I can't.


That's, like going to LA. You might as well go to LA with literally.


I'll take a nap. I'll take a freaking nap.


I have this weird habit where I'm, like, on the weekends, falling asleep at.


Like, 05:00 p.m. To wake up at.


Like, nine and be, like, fully awake.


Hannah, we're so on the same wavelength because that's been happening to me, like, 11:00 p.m. I'm like, let's go to the gym.


Maybe now I should open all the Amazon packages of things I bought that I don't need, right? And then people think something happened to you because I didn't answer my phone from, like, four to nine. So then I'm like, all up in my phone. Then I'm all jacked up and it's bad. Why can't I just fall asleep at eleven?


I don't know. Because I don't know. Because you don't even take, like, an edible. I know. That's why my sleep is fucked up. I do it to myself and I'm like, why can't I sleep good? And it's like, I don't know. Because you're putting the remote in the refrigerator, you dumb fuck.


Nick Kroll, our lord and savior, said that he takes half a child's.




Is because I took a full melatonin and my mom called the police. I slept for a second.


I think drugs are bad, but melatonin is at the top of my fucking life. I thought it was supposed to be, like a melatonin.


They preach it like, it's very subtle and, like, natural.


I feel like it's from the black web.


The dark web. Literally was like, do you have to go to rehab?


You were addicted to melatonin.


Because one day she kept calling me and I was like, I'm still asleep. And she's like, I'm worried.


Oh, my God. You probably thought you were, like, addicted to prescription drugs. Like, Hannah's just out yet again for.


The fourth day in a row. I don't do drugs because I really believe in a past life. I had a drug problem, okay? I don't smoke cigarettes or do cocaine or do that stuff because I know that I'd be, like, a drug king. I do shit to the fullest, so I've never even touched it. I drink, like, seven gatorade zeros a day.


We need to do our past lives shit.


Yes, we have to do the past lives.




Speaking about the drugs, the lemmy stuff from Kourtney Kardashian, it's great. And I had one of the lemmy sleep ones, and it blew me. If you want to get rid of a day, that is an easy way.


Don't eat. You're only supposed to eat two of each thing. Yeah, I've not been to it.


Are you, like, snacking on? Are you, like, dessert?


Sometimes I'm like, whatever. If I have four, it's not going to kill me.


Did you like the taste?






That's like me, the de bloat ones. I'm like, oh, what's going to happen?


The problem is she has, like, the one that's good for your pussy. It's like a pineapple one. Then she has the deep bloat ones and the sleep ones, and they sent me three of them. The sleep ones are very similar color to the deep bloat ones.


Yes, they are.


I accidentally put in my mouth the sleep one, realized in that moment, this is the sleep one. And Des is like, what are you doing? Like, I almost drugged myself.


It's not like, Hannah, it's not that strong. Where you're just going to develop narcolepsy in the next 20 minutes and fall asleep in the kitchen.


I have shit to do. I can't eat a melatonin.


It's not that.


No, I'm really pure.


I know you are.


I'm really pure. I'll have a whole milk late.


And like, no, I know you're pure.


Bash my head.


Tell everyone.


I can't even drink sweet tea.


Yeah. I'm like, don't you ever offer her a hit of that jewel. She has baby lungs.


I don't even know how to take.


A hit of jewel. Okay, I'm done.


Thank you guys so much for giggling with us. We are getting, like, in depth with celebrities, which is like a new. Pull back the curtain. We are.


No, we're literally.


Is Hollywood going to get mad at us?


We are the Illuminati.


Wait, can you tell me if either of us gets approached by Illuminati? We have to tell the gigglers.


Are you kidding?


Of course. Would you be jealous if they came to me first?


Yeah. I'd be like, first Haley Bieber, now this. You guys think I'm the evil one. You guys didn't come to me.


You leave the podcast and you're like, I feel like it's kind of fucked up.


And she's like, it's not fair. I could kill someone. You know, I'd be good at care about baby.


You know who'd be so mad? Craig.


Craig would be like, bring me to.


If you got approached Illuminati and you couldn't tell him, and he finds out later.


It's so easy to tease Craig. His biggest dream is to be in the CIA or be a special secret fucking spy.


Even though he cannot keep his mouth closed.


So he's like, I'm going to get approached someday and recruited and no one's going to know, so I'll just fuck with him. And everywhere we go, and I'll just be like, I'm in the CIA. And it's not real, obviously, but gets.


So upset, you just look at your phone, you go, I have to go to Guam.


Sorry, I can't tell you, John, need to know.


Influenza trip in Guam.


Sorry, Washington needs me.


You're like, I just got a DM from Joe Biden. Okay, we love you guys and we'll talk to you later. Bye.