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Acast recommends podcasts. We love Chris and Rosie Ramsey here. Listen to our british podcast award and comedy award winning podcast.


I also won the most handsome podcast co host award, didn't I?


Yeah. Okay, about that. I might have made that one up.




Yeah. In our podcast, we talk beefs, parenting, grown up, and so much more.


What about me? Most improved podcaster trophy?


Yeah, that one as well. Just search married, annoyed, wherever you get your podcast.


Don't you dare tell me that you made up my podcast participation certificate as well.


We need to have a chat.


Acast is home to the world's best podcasts, including the Blind Boy podcast, ready to be real with Sheila Shoiga and the one you're listening to right now. Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi fi.


Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.


I mean, the day just got away from me.


What's up, my gigglers? We're going to Netflix, baby.


I mean, Hannah just broke the Internet. Broke the Internet.


No, I told Paige I actually got overwhelmed, and I haven't been on my phone all day because it's not that I didn't expect positivity, but it gets me uncomfy. It's like my wedding, and everyone was so fucking, it makes me want to cry. And I don't like emotions. And let's be honest, I don't feel comfortable with happiness. I like to feel aggravated, slightly unnerved. I want to complain.


For me to have a good day, there has to be at least one thing that I'm annoyed about, that I can talk to people.


I enjoy being upset about something. So, no, it was like, you guys know that I can't keep my mouth shut. So if I'm going to tease you guys on something, it's going to be fucking worth it.


No. And this took a lot to keep the secret.


It took a lot. I kept it from you in the very beginning just because contracts were not legit. And I think that if I tell you that, it would fall through, and then I'd be. Have to be like, hey, how are.


You all doing such an italian thing to not tell people anything? Because people have bad energy.


No, you don't have bad energy, but basically, the gods know, if you get too excited for something. I don't know.


No, I don't tell anyone anything because, truly, you never know what they're thinking. If you told someone, then what if they went home and they were like, oh, I hope she doesn't get that. Or I hope it doesn't happen, and then it doesn't happen. I feel like they did that with their manifesting. And so I agree with not telling anyone shit.


Well, you know, who did something with their manifesting. And that's why I said we got an. Like, let's be honest. If I didn't have giggly squad, I would have been in a farm in Idaho right now, probably very happy. But there's a couple fucking weird, hilarious girls in the Internet that said, you know what? I like these two girls, and I'm going to stick with them in spite of a lot of things.


I feel like now when I see gigglers in the wild, like, I've met a few being in Aspen, and we're so, like, this one girl came up, and she was just like, hey, giggler. Duh. Obviously. Great to see you.


They're, like, low key, kind of sick of us. They're like, you were talking a lot about lasagna last week. Are you good?


No. I love the gigglers. Okay. I have a very giggly squad story. Tell me to the point where I told Craig this story, and I go, you can't tell anyone. Like, seriously, don't tell anyone. It's so embarrassing. And he goes, okay, Paige, you're gonna say it on your podcast. I go, you're absolutely right.


Your best friend, that you have to tell every story.


Okay, so let me just set the scene for you. And I have no idea if these two situations are related, but I have to give you the past to understand the present. Okay?


No, this is girlhood. Give me every fucking detail. Set it up as long as you need to.


So when I was in college, I feel like maybe I was a little stressed out every once in a while. And who knows? So one time I woke up in the morning to a text message from one of my girlfriends saying, did you mean to post that Snapchat last night? Which is not a fucking text you want to wake up to. I was like, what are you talking about? She goes, you sent me a Snapchat last night at, like, two in the morning. And I go, what was it of? And she goes, just you sitting up in bed, smiling like you took a selfie and sent it to me.


You go, and it's not me. I wouldn't smile on the snapchat.


I was like, that's so fucking scary. That means I literally did that in my sleep. I don't know why I did that. Couple of weeks later, this happens, okay? A couple of weeks later, don't know if it's related. I wake up in the morning like a normal morning. And I'm like, oh, my God. My bed is, like, all wet. What is going on? And I get up and I'm like, oh, my fucking God.


I peed the bed.


Like, I'm college and I'm sober. Like, I lived at home, and I'm freaking out.


Are you sure it was not marinara sauce? No, it smelled like tea.


I run downstairs, I'm like, something's wrong, mom. I don't know what's going on. I'm literally convinced I have, like, a brain tumor that I can't. And she's like, okay, stop freaking out. You were probably just so tired and had to pee and couldn't get up. And this happens sometime. Don't worry about it. Never happened again. We're great. Fine. Fast forward ten fucking years, okay? Get a text message from Sierra a couple of weeks ago in the morning. And she goes, did you mean to facetime me at 130 in the morning, not say anything, and then throw your phone? And I was like, what? No, I didn't do that. A couple of days later, I spend the day organizing my closet. I had specific piles on the floor. I go into my closet the next morning, there's a pair of pants that I have not worn in years on the floor, almost as if someone tried them on and then just left them on the floor.


You've told us this part.


Okay? So that happens a couple of days later. I wake up in the morning, and I'm like, why is my bed wet? Like, what is going on? I get up and I fucking peed in the middle of the night.


You're a 30 year old geriatric woman.


I don't know what's happening.


You need to have a collaboration, like Lisa Rinna with the diapers.


Someone needs to monitor me during my sleep, because what am I getting up and doing? I'm getting up, I'm putting on outfits. Like, what am I doing now? I'm peeing the bed.


Wait, that's, like, what frat guys do, because they drank too much and then your bed smells like pee.


I was like, I have something so embarrassing to tell you, but I peed the bed last night. And he was like, what are you talking about? I was like, don't tell anyone. And then I was like, I have to tell the gigglers. How do you clean it? I just took my sheets off and, like, my bedding, and I washed it, and I had a spray tan on that night, so literally, my thighs got wet.


Okay, this is so graphic. Kim, fast forward 30 seconds. Are you sure you didn't have a wet dream and you just, like, squirt it?


No, I didn't. You want to know what? Craig asked me the same fucking thing.


I was like, no, I'm not a.


13 year old boy. And he goes, okay, well, so you're.


Just peeing in the bed. That's a problem.


No, I don't know. So now I'm so scared of what I'm doing in my sleep.


I feel like this is something that you would google and you could really scare yourself about what's going on.


I haven't googled it because I think it's just, like, stress and anxiety and that I'm doing weird things in my.


Sleep when weird physical things are happening to you. Sometimes it is just something going on. I always had something going on in my life that was really fucking irking me. And my body was just like, I could try to lie to myself and be like, life is good. Life is good. But your brain is like, it's not. And then your body goes, okay, this bitch isn't listening. And the next thing you know, you're, like, heartfeating and you're like, you're being. But bitch, isn't aspen living life right now. She has a headband on and a turtleneck and a beautiful french manicure. So this is just to let you guys know. Don't believe social media.


Don't believe social media. I literally irish exited last night from all my friends, my boyfriend included. I literally ran to the car because I get Altitude sickness like no other.


So you're throwing up and peeing in the bed?


No, I'm a mess over here. I need to go to a doctor. I need to be monitored.


Altitude sickness is wild. It's like you're so dainty that if you're too high in the sky, you're like, I'm going to explode.


And somebody said that living and being in aspen, by just living, you're burning calories.


Oh, you love aspen. And I love that I'm envisioning you just like the bird from Shrek when she sings too loud, when you're in the altitude and you're just like. And you just explode.


Yeah, that's what happened to me. I was like, sorry, guys, I have to go home to throw up in a proper bathroom by myself. And they were like, oh, do you.


Remember giggly squad was like, me making one joke about a boner or something about a fart, and you would be like, hannah, stop. And now you've been talking about bodily fluids for ten minutes now. And I haven't said, well, I did say the squirt comment, but we've evolved.


No, we've evolved. Yeah. I would have weird growing. Two years ago, I would have never told the gigglers that I peed my fucking.


You would have taken that to the grave.


To the grave. And now I'm like, be aware something's going on.


I don't mean this in a bad way, but I fear that you are using giggly squad as more of therapy than your own therapist. And I love it because it's great content. But I just. As your friend, because last week, Maria.


Said, okay, we need to really.


We're saying her name. We're saying her name.


Maria was like, we need to really kick it into gear here. I need you to journal every day, and then I need to see said journal. She was like, I need you to just write down your feelings, okay? Identify one feeling.


She goes, this is the problem. I cannot spell or form a sentence.


She was like, we're now on texting level. She's like, why don't you just text me?


I go, can I voice note my feelings to you, Paige? And I voice noted for, like, two and a half hours. Of course. Whenever Des is gone, not once did I think of picking up the phone and calling you. And there was, like, tea, there was emotions. It was heated. But do you ever rerecord a voice note? Do you ever start it? And you go, that's not the vibe.


Yeah. Because sometimes I will forget what I'm saying. And I'm like, well, now this is just, like, pointless. But here's the thing. I love listening to my voice recordings back. I'm like, oh, she's going to love this. I pretend I'm you. I'm like, she's going to die.


I once listened to one of mine, and I'm just laughing so hard. I'm like, I sound so goofy and stupid. Like, I can't believe she likes me. But we were joking. How? There's no way to properly end a voice note. No. You always have to be like, end scene. Roger that.


Yeah. And I'm just like, and now your opinions over. No voice notes. If anyone's trying to start a podcast, start with voice notes.


Start with voice notes. And if you have good voice note chemistry, if you can, for, like, 10 hours straight, you can easy do a podcast. Me and you are so bad at admin. We both are going to aspen once this year. I'm going for shows. You're going with Craig because Craig wants a skateboard or whatever. They do snowboard. And you want.


Like, I literally wanted to make one TikTok, and I made it.


Yeah, you made one TikTok.




Got it. Thriving. So we are both going to aspen and missing each other by, like, two days. And then I was in Charleston yesterday.


I know.


And everyone's like, where the. I was walking around. I thought I was going to be treated.




I did go to Charleston once with Paige, and I was treated like the child of a royal family. I was just walking behind Paige, and people were like, do you want me to wipe your shoes? Are you you. What does Paige smell like? That kind of thing? And I was like, I love being in Charleston. And then I was walking around King street. No respect.




No respect. I said, I. I am the sister of Paige de Sorbo. I am basically the sister in law to Craig Conover. Turns out everyone knows Craig, and everyone's like, we talk to him all the time. He's the mayor. I went to one store, and someone recognized me, and I was like, yes. And they were like, we thought we were going to see Paige in Charleston. I go, nope. You saw. I know.


I can't believe we didn't, like, time, any of that. Here's the thing. Because we're such individuals, and I don't want to do anything. So I don't like, no, I feel.


Like us planning a trip is almost try hard. Are we trying to prove our friendship to people?


What are we trying to be like? We're adults. Like, oh, let's plan a vacay.


We've never once even attempted to plan a vacay, Hannah.


We've never even gone out to dinner with your husband and my boyfriend of three years. Not one time. That shit is so fucking fake.




Legitimate friends are going out on double dates. You're going to their houses. Like, you're hanging out. I don't know.


Or you're just, like, facetiming, and they get in the back, and you're like, hi.


Yeah, a double date is aggressive.


If you're going to dinner, what are you trying to prove? You know what? The same way that we say, if relationships are trying too hard, they're overcompensating. That's how I feel about friendships. That's how I feel about friendships. You know, the girls who suddenly get a new friend, and they're, like, everywhere. And I'm like, you guys are using each other for attention. And I love that. I love girlhood. But don't make everyone else feel like you guys have this beautiful friendship. Like, you guys are going to hate each other in three days because you just are using each other for Instagram likes.


You know, one thing I do love about getting older? I think I.


That you pee yourself. That your pussy can't even hold pee anymore.


Other than the fact that I am the spokesperson for depends, I know some Instagram account is just going to put me in a diaper, which is fine. You know, I love a mini short rigamarole production.


Oh, my God. Wait. You should go back on all those pages. Who ever talk shit about you for wearing no pants and being like, I needed to wear a mimu diaper.


Sorry, I have a medical condition. How bad do you feel about yourself now?


I have a wide vagina, but a very tiny canal. My doctor told me. Sorry.


That I'm having a bladder issue.




The one thing I do like about getting older, I feel like there's so much fucking pressure on women to have such big girl groups of friends. I remember when Taylor Swift was doing that whole girl gang stuff, and they were all going to her house in Newport or whatever. And I did have a great group of girlfriends in high school, and I'm very thankful. But once I got into my 20s, everyone lives different places. You meet new people. So I did feel that pressure of, like, oh, my God, I don't have a big group of girlfriends. Like, I'm a loser. I have no friends. Whatever. I love that now it's socially acceptable to have friends disappear, dwindle. See you later. Because our lives are going in different directions. Like, we're getting older. It's socially acceptable to have literally three good friends.


No, but I think that's a flex. If you have 100% friends, that's a fucking flex.


Such a flex.


And also, I do love those friends who, for whatever reason, you can't spend time with them. You can't see them that much. But there are moments in your life that they will just like, you love each other and they'll facetime you or they'll randomly text you or they'll comment on your instagrams. There is so many levels of friendships, but you're so right. The best part of aging is that you are not expected to hang out with friends anymore.


Yeah, I can't wait for kids because I built an excuse. Sorry, my kids.


I was going to say that. And you guys, we're not saying don't hang out with your friends. I'm saying, you know those nights that you're literally bitching like, fuck, we have to go out tonight. Do you remember? We would do that all the time. I don't even know who you were in your early. We all know when we're like, fuck, we have to go out tonight. You never have to go out again.


No, Hannah, I've been on this ski trip with, like, and it's like a fun ski trip. I have not drank because I'm like.


You'Re the epitome of health and wellness, and if you do drink, it's going to come right out of your pussy.


I hung out with Melissa Wood health the other day. I actually don't drink. Thank you.


Okay, so Paige and I did Melissa Wood health's podcast. Now, Paige was addicted to her workouts, and I would have done her workouts, but I was depressed at the time.


I was the best version of me.


She basically was like, we'd love to have you on the pod. And of course, I was like, yes, because I like to talk to anyone on a microphone. And then I do some research while we're on the way. And I realized her last guest was Deepak Chopra. And then you're texting me and you go, what are we going to talk about? And I go, I will talk about hip hop yoga for 45 minutes, but then I'm out. Then I've run out of things to talk about. You have to come up with something for, like, ten minutes.


I feel so bad for Melissa because.


Took over.


We sat down and we were like, melissa, thank you so much for having us. We will now speak, and only us will speak for 2 hours.


We were nervous that she was going to ask us about our workout routine.


Or something, so we had to pivot.


But then at the end, we started just like, we felt guilty and we were like, melissa, we just lie in bed all day long.


I felt like it was a therapist that I was like, confessing.


I was like, okay, you know what?


I lied.


I don't work out.


I rot in bed. I am bad. Like, help. And she knew that we weren't going into a routine. She knew it. She said, you know what? Try one thing, and that's just not looking at your phone in the morning. And we were like, oh, we don't know.


Kudos to her because she did some research and she decided to go in being like, we're going to talk about how laughter is healthy, and we'll use that with these girls. And you know what? That's an angle that I will get behind.


Acast recommends podcasts. We love Chris and Rosie Ramsey here. Listen to our british podcast award. And comedy award winning podcast.


I also won the most handsome podcast co host award, didn't I?


Yeah. Okay, about that. I might have made that one up.






In our podcast, we talk beefs, parenting, grown up, and so much more.


What about me? Most improved podcaster trophy?


Yeah, that one as well. Just search married, annoyed, wherever. Get your podcast.


Don't you dare tell me that you made up my podcast participation certificate as well.


We need to have a chat.


Acast is home to the world's best podcasts, including the Blind Boy podcast. Ready to be real with Sheila Shoiga and the one you're listening to right now.


Because if we do not laugh, we will cry. What?


I literally. Sorry, I totally cut you off, but I saw that you posted that documentary on Netflix.


I was going to bother you to watch it, but you're like, I watched that where if I tell you to watch something, I feel like you get kind of like, is it that good? I want you to choose it on your own. Okay, guys, american nightmare on Netflix. Tell me everything. Paige is doing the dope doc segment today.


One of the best documentaries I think I've ever seen in my life. One of the most infuriating documentaries. It physically made me ill and mad, and I cried during it. I age cried. I felt like I cried because I felt so mad for this girl.


What was so fascinating about, too, it was really well done, where I'm not going to give anything away, but it's about there was a kidnapping, and first you see the perspective of the police and the way they air it. You're like, okay, obviously this happened. And then they air it from another perspective, and you're like, okay, well, obviously that happened. And then they show the other perspective, and you go, what the fuck is going on? But it does show you how things could be altered so much.


I'm going to tell you something. I know that I have a gripe with the FDA. That goes without saying. I think I have a gripe with the FBI, because who's running it over there?


Okay, this is kind of a spoiler, but not really. At the end of the day, a mom or a woman ends up solving everything. It took one woman.


It took one woman to literally do, I don't know, simple Google search. And she goes, okay, I figured it out.


Honestly. One phone call. Literally, one phone call.


One phone call, one Google search. She saved multiple people's lives. Called the men.


All the other men got awards. The men got awards.


No, literally, one of the police officers got police officer of the fucking.


Been. We've been saying for a long time. And I think, actually, comic Chris Estefano has a very funny bit about his girlfriend. And he's like, these girls are so good at figuring things out. Like, why are women not in charge of the FBI? And it's true. If you send a man to find one thing in a grocery store, he can't do it. And I'm like, but that man's solving murders.


Here's the other thing that women are so good at, interrogations. Because when I'm asking you a question, know that I already know the answer.


No. Those men were so bad at asking questions. They were just like, I'm going to make you look like a monster. You did it. And the guy's like, what?


Like, a woman would just. It makes me so.


No, we need to make some changes, and the academy needs apologies. But the one thing that was really special about this documentary is some documentaries. My biggest gripe is when they do the unsolved murders. And I'm like, so we're right where we were in the beginning. Fucking confused.


A strongly worded email to the production company. It's like, oh, you guys just couldn't figure out the ending. So this was the show you went with.


I go, fuck you. That's not a beginning, middle, and end. That is a premise. This documentary has such a full circle. Like, at the end, you really felt complete in your heart. And I'm not saying if it was good or bad, but it just, like, came. There was an ending.


It came together, and you laugh.


Cried. Anyway, everyone has to watch it.


It's three episodes. It's light work. You can do that in one fucking night.


That's a morning. That's a morning for me. That's a dark morning.


That's breakfast.


Wait, speaking of crying, I had the craziest thing happen to me at the I do Charleston. Okay. My show. To make it clear, it's not about crying. No one's not crying. Maybe, like, excited crying. Nothing else. We're having fun. We're making dick jokes. It's actually, like, the best crowd. The girls are so funny and drunk. And then I see this, like, 70 year old man in the front, and I'm like, okay. He's like, so cute. And then some girl literally yells out of nowhere, and she goes, hannah, we have the same birthday. And I was like, august twelveth. And she's like, yeah. I'm like, cool. Does anyone else want to yell out their birthdays? And some girls like yelling out, and I'm like, this is a drunk town hall meeting. This is so fun. Everyone calm down. And then later in the show, I go back to the older guy, and I'm like, what? Who are you? Like, he was like, having fun. I'm like, who is this Zaddy having fun? And the girls next to him, they're kind of drunk. And they go, his wife passed away, so everyone's upset. Everyone's like, no. And he goes, I come to comedy shows when I feel, like, lonely.


And I was like, oh, my God. And he's so cute, Paige, no. And then he looks at me and he goes, my wife has the same birthday as you, and I've never once said my birthday out loud in a show. And I have this moment, and I just go, do you think your wife was speaking to you through me on stage? The whole audience starts. He's. He's laughing, crying. The girls are. Everyone's very drunk, so we're crying anyway. We're all hormonal. We're just, ah. And then I was like, give it up for Steve. The whole theater of a thousand girls start chanting, we love Steve. We love Steve. And he's, like, laughing with tears in his eyes. The cutest old man. And I was like, how did you find me? And he's like, I don't know, like, my phone, like, Instagram. And I was like, it's okay. You don't have to explain. But, like, I actually believe that chances I do, too. My wife has the same birthday as me, and I never talk about my birthday on stage. And some girl just yelled it out. It was like.


And you never even, I feel like, talked to a man in the crowd.


I saw him, and it's like, we had to have that conversation. And his wife wanted me to say the birthday to let him know she's here with him.


Yeah, 100%. I believe in that. I believe in that stuff all day.


And I wish I could tell you guys I felt something come over me. No, I was just being orchestrated. I was being orchestrated on stage by his wife, who has an amazing birthday. And then I was like, okay, we have to get the crowd back. Everyone stop fucking crying. I have to make jokes about quiefing.


And did you?


Yeah, it was fun. I was like, sex is crazy. But I really did have a great time in Charleston. It's very like the Hamptons.


It's very picturesque.


Yes, it's like the Hamptons. If it was like, a lot of guys with hair that's, like, combed over.


Yeah. A lot of quafting.


A lot of quafting. And a lot of vests. A lot of vests. A lot of vests.


You see a lot of vests down there.


But it is touristy. I was on King street, so it was a lot of people.


Very touristy. But, yeah, the guys are very. They dress very, like, it's either ultra preppy or it's like, a little beachy. But they'll have, like, flip flops on and a vest. And it's like, what season is that? Like, you're confusing me. But it's a vibe.


Some screws are loose. So we have a lot of traveling. I'm going to LA tomorrow for three days, and then I'm going to Reno for a show. And then I'm going to Lake Tahoe for the first time with Des. And then I'm going to Aspen. This is my problem. I need a faux fur coat, but I'm not packing a faux fur coat. And I'm not buying a faux fur coat in aspen for $3,000.


So I'm going to have to rob.


Someone'S faux fur coat. I'm going to tell you, pack a faux fur coat. What did you do? Don't say FedEx it because I swear to God, I'm not fedexing shit.


Okay? If you let me get it out, I'm going to let you know something. I packed three fur coats, bitch, and I did not FedEx one of them. Okay.


The power of sitting on your suitcase.




What is your folding method?


Just scrunch. Scrunch, scrunch. And I put a lot of things. My new move is to put things in shoes. So I packed a couple of pairs of boots. So I put, like, clothes inside of the boots to save space because I knew I had. I packed two fur coats. I wore one on the plane because.


I will go some places with my little suitcase because I'm wearing, like, the same outfit for three shows. And then I actually went to King street. So much fun shopping. Find myself in urban outfitters, which I live literally next door to. Right. Buy a bunch of shit from urban Outfitters, then can't fit it back in my bag.


No, actually, I will say one thing about the Charleston shopping. It sucks.


Strong words.


It's not good. It's not good. And I think it's wild because it is such a touristy place. But if I'm in a pinch for a pair of shoes, I'm not getting them there. Genuinely, when I'm down there, the only places I shop are TJ, Maxx and Marshalls. There's no store stores.


There are a lot of stores made for moms who are like, they see you and they're like, sweetheart, bless your heart. And they're, like, drunk at 01:00 p.m.


And I like the love shack fancy vibe. Like, some of their things are so cute.


Love shack fancy. But the store needs to calm the fuck down.


It's a crop sweater. It doesn't need to be $400. Why don't you chill the fuck out about it?


No, but the outside of the store, and I'm saying this because our brands probably don't align, so I don't think I'll lose a branding connection with them. But it looks like a bunch of flowers just had diarrhea on each other, and it looks like a yeast infection. The outside? Yeah.


I actually love the outside of the store. I think it's, like, such a vibe.


But it's so girly. But it's like, compared to all the.


Other stores, it's like, okay, yeah, it's intense.


It's intense. But they do have, like, fancy stores. They have, like, Gucci.


Yeah. But it's like, okay, yes, they do have fancy shopping. But what I don't understand is that it's a college town. There's so many College girlies. How are they going out on the weekend? Where are they shopping? What are they getting? They're just having everything delivered. They're shopping online. The girls don't even have a Zara to go to. And it's them that's know, I want to do this for the college girlies. They need a Zara. Let's help them out. They need a fucking h m. Like, it's crazy.


Wait, speaking of going outside, did you see Zayn Malik? He's such a giggler. What'd he do? The headline is, Zayn Malek makes rare public outing at fashion week, and a car ran over his foot. Zayn Malik's foot appears to get run over during rare public appearance. That is so giggly. Squad coated.


Yeah. Steps out, thinks they're doing something for the fashion industry. The universe says, nope, go back home.


Imagine, like, he never goes outside. He's scared of paparazzi. He had to go to therapy for three months to even physically go outside. And then an Uber just runs over his toe.


See, I'd actually be really thankful because there's nothing I love more than something to give me a reason for me to say. And this is why I don't go out. You know what? And this is why I don't travel.


You think he did it on purpose? I would do that. That's why I did. When I was skiing, I go, oopsie. And then broke my hand. He took his little foot.


Know when you're in high school and you're just like, so fucking nuts? And you're like, you think in your head, not that you would ever do this, but you think in your head.


You'Re like, how do I get out of school?


Or like, if I just broke my leg right now and I posted it, do you think he would text me to see if I was okay? Me and my best friend in high school would do such crazy shit like that to just be like, do you think? One time she made me come up with this entire lie to text this guy to see if he would text us back. And I was down for it, because if my friend needs me to text someone, I'm going to do it. So I came up with this entire lie that this guy's cat was in my backyard. And I was like, hey, I think your cat's in my backyard. And he was like, I don't think.


Petting his cat.


I don't think so. And I was like, that's so crazy. What are you doing tonight?


He goes, I don't have a cat. I knew you had a cat, but that was hilarious. This one girl on TikTok I follow, halle, is like, 22, 23. And every now and then she just brings me back to those days. She was told a story about how she basically was in love with this guy who she met, like, once, and she decided to follow every account he followed that was like, meme pages or interesting stuff, and then started liking everything because she wanted whenever him to see those pages, to see her name, that she liked it. And I was like, wow, that is so smart. And she was like, I was evil genius. And then she ended up being like, he never texted me, but it was genius.


No, that's genius. I've done something similar. I once was obsessed with this guy, and he was so fucking funny. So all of the things that he would like, that he thought were funny, I would find similar humor to also like and follow because I was like, oh, if he thinks I'm funny, he's going to love me. And he, in fact, did not.


I married a guy and pretended to skiing for two years. I'm officially retired. I'm officially retired from skiing.


Wait, why?


Because it's unsafe and it's not fun.


Look, there is an element now to being in your 30s where it's like, okay, if I do legit fall and break something, I'm an adult. Yeah. I can't have a broken leg for six months.


No, literally. Also, I hurt my right arm. I couldn't even wipe my asshole. That was, like, pure mental, physical torture. I'm at that point too. Like, I'm not risking my body unless it's for a gold medal in the Olympics. Otherwise, I'm sorry. She's out. And I feel bad for the girlies. Like, Shannon Ford, she was on this vacation skiing, and she posted all these cute outfits. They're having so much fun. And I messaged her, and I was like. I said something, and she was like, no, hannah, like, skiing is so dangerous. Why don't they tell people? She said she was hyperventilating the whole time. Never skied before. I don't think she has.


Oh, that's terrifying then. And to do it for the first time in your late twenty s or early thirty s, it is way scarier.


Yeah. And, like, girls, because it's good fashion, will get trapped in a situation, and next thing you know, you're on a blue and you're crying and you're praying to St. Anthony, and you're like, how did I get here for just an average deck? Like, how did I get here for a below average deck?


No, I'm on this trip solely because I bought Prada ski goggles.


Who's taking the photos? Is my question. Are there girls there that could take it?


Yeah, there's girlies here. So we're good. And Craig goes, you bought Prada ski goggles? When did you get those? And I was just like, don't worry about it. And he was like, did you try them on? Can you see out of them? And I just looked at him. I go, I didn't try them on. They match my snowsuit. That's why I fucking got them. Okay, pay attention. Police. How long have you been.


Talk about enough with vacation. How much pressure it is to get the photo.


No, it's so much.


I went to the Knicks game with my dad, and I started panicking because I was between my dad and a couple bros, and I needed to get a photo. And there was that one photographer guy that took one photo, but it was, like, not the ideal angle, and I was wearing a fit, and it was the kind of fit that I needed to pose. Cunty standing.




Or, like a thought squad or something. Like, pretending I didn't see the camera. Shit. Men are not capable of capturing that kind of art.


Imagine telling a man, like, hey, I actually want this to be like a blurry photo. He'd be like, what? It's for the esthetic. You don't get it.


This is the worst thing, too, when you're like, just take a lot. And he just takes a ton and then gives it to you, and you're like, you had no strategy to that. They all look exactly the same, but my eyes are blinking.


Move a little.


Angles. Angles, lights also, it's perfectly normal. And me and you have done this. We're like, I'll take photos of you. We look and we go, the energy is not right. And then we will change direction, change the street, change the mental. What is our purpose? What is our motive in this shoot? We have to understand the creative direction.


We have to be like, what's the story we want this photo to tell? What's the.


Don't finger your phone for 30 seconds and then be like, we got it. I took so many photos. You don't like one photo that I took?


No. Whenever I ask Craig to take my photos, he gives me the phone back, and I'm just like, oh, you just can't get it. Like, you didn't get it. It's fine. Don't worry about it. You didn't get it. I'll figure something else. It's not your fault. He had the fucking audacity to say to me the other day, really? Because every time I take a photo for someone else, they always say that, I got it. And I go, because we're women, and we lie. She just wanted her phone back. She said, thanks, got it, and walked away. We lie because we don't want you to be uncomfortable.


Imagine a girl who enjoys southern charm and Craig's like, I'll take a picture of you. You're not going to look him in the eye and be like, this photo suck. Take another one. You'll be like, thank you.


I'm like, because they don't date you. Okay? I can yell at you, and it's not a problem.


And it's like, what are you saying? That they're all gorgeous and I'm a fucking wildebeest?


Yeah, it's me in the photo that can't figure it out. I think it's your angles, buddy.


Also, okay, this might be offensive.


Then say it.


I realize why. One reason why you're really funny, and it's not just that you're, like, italian.


The trauma.


It's because you didn't have boobs in high school.


Okay, probably true on some level. Like, to an extent, I'm going to tell you the reason I actually am funny, and it is born out of our favorite thing, and that's revenge. Growing up, my brother was so funny. Like, still is the funniest person I know. My dad would only laugh at Gary's jokes, and I would be like, I'm funny. And my dad would be like, yeah, you're funny. But I knew I wasn't getting a legitimate laugh, so I'm not kidding. I cultivated a fucking personality. And from just listening to my brother, seeing what he thought was funny. And so that's why our humor is the exact same, because I essentially just copied him because I was so competitive that no one in the house was laughing at me. And my mom doesn't count because she'll laugh at anything. I needed the laughs from my dad.


Okay, let me change my hypothesis to this.




If you had big boobs, you wouldn't be funny.


If I had big boobs, I wouldn't be here. Okay? And I say it to Craig all the time. I also am like, if I was five nine, you wouldn't even know me. I would be on someone's yacht somewhere. Okay? Being like, yes, I will have another martini.


Girls who had big boobs growing up, there are funny ones for sure, but sometimes everyone just gave you so much positive affirmation, you never had to kind of experiment in a conversation to try to get attention. My friend with big boobs would stretch, and every guy would just stare at her, where meanwhile, I would have to do, like, seven bad jokes before someone even acknowledged me. And I do think it's like, yeah, if you had big boobs, you wouldn't even care to get Gary's attention. Like, you'd be like, cool.


I think the other wild thing is every single one of my girlfriends from my entire life have had the most perfect, huge boobs. Like, I am the only one that ever was. Like, an a, that ever wore a bra a.


But you know what? If you were a little less pretty, you'd be a stand up comedian. You would have a special Netflix coming out in the fall.


It'd be the girl version of Matt Rife.


If you had a thicker jaw.


If I had a stronger jawline in a six pack. Oh, gosh, no. But I do think it is funny because I feel like the funniest people I know. They do have stand up comedians. Most of them do have a crazy childhood trauma.


You have to have some darkness. You have to have some darkness, for sure.


But I think I have gotten funnier over the course of ten years because of reality tv. I think that has really traumatized me in a way that I never knew could be traumatic.


You can decide. Go to two ways. Be like, okay, this is really sad, or make fun of yourself and start a podcast and have other girls who want to distract themselves from their daily lives.


Like, self deprecation makes me feel better. I think it's funny, and it makes me feel more grounded.


Yeah, I have to get deeper into the boob analogy. You guys can message me because I do have. Let me just say, I have so many friends with big boobs who are so fucking funny. But I was just specifically thinking of you and your upbringing. I have to also make an apology to the academy. So we were talking about common last week, and I just started singing I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man. That is another artist, and his name is Aloe black. Common did not sing that song.


Also, how crazy that common's just all over the fucking Internet now dating Jennifer Hudson. I talk about one man on the podcast.


He was trying to make you jealous. He's trying to make you jealous right now.


No, I was literally like, you didn't have to go on the Today show to say you had a girlfriend.


Charlie puth got engaged to make me jealous. Like, that's crazy. Guys, chill out to a brunette, too. It's like, calm down. Live your life.


It is so funny, though. What a random chain of events. I met him on a plane, talk about him, and all of a sudden he's on this massive press tour. I feel like I haven't seen common in five years. Now he's everywhere she goes, did I.


Put common back on the map? He's getting a Grammy this year. They're like, he doesn't even have a song. I'm like, he's a man of the people. Also eyelashes.




Isn't it crazy how everyone remember when we first started summer house? You had these big, gorgeous lashes.


My eyelash extensions.


Now the style is no mascara. How did we go from no, I'm not doing so much eyelashes to no? What's going on?


Talk about when I hate my outfit. It'll ruin a night. I can specifically remember one night in my club and I forgot to put mascara on, and it haunts me, and it still haunts me.


I've done that. And you're just like, how can no one tell me that?


Literally one of my girlfriends said, was this on purpose? You don't have mascara on right now. And I go, I can't believe you're bringing attention to it. But I literally forgot. And I'm staring at my face being like, what's missing? And I couldn't figure it out.


Eyeshadow with no mascara.


Full eyeshadow, full brows, no mascara. I don't know what was going on, but I think about it all the time, and it haunts.


That's like me when I leave the shower with just one shaved leg. But I just think it's crazy. But I also do think that everyone looks best with just mascara. I remember when you didn't wear your eyelash extensions once. I straight up was like, oh, my God, you look gorgeous. What'd you do differently? But it was just because sometimes it could be too distracting.


The eyelashes where I'm seeing face eyelash extensions are out. I get how addicting it is and how looking at yourself in the mirror without them, you're like, I'm a naked mole rat. Luckily, I went through the phase of no eyelash extensions right when Covid hit, because then I couldn't get them, so I just went natural, and then I never went back.


Also, everyone's getting really fancy cool nails, and, you know, I love to jump on the nail bandwagon, but I just realized, how fucking long does it take when you're getting full vintage store on your nail?


3 hours. Like, when I get gel x, it takes 2 hours.


And I'm not even saying I don't have the time. Like, I'm not that busy. I don't have the patience, the mental fortitude to sit there and I'll sit on my couch for hours, which is hilarious. But to sit and get my nails.


Done, there's something about you have to be present. You do have to watch what they're doing because you have to move your finger correctly for them. And you have to be like, you can't just have one thing. I hate at a nail salon. This is very niche, but I feel like I've gone to nail salons enough to survey the situation. If you're sitting there and you're getting like, it's a long process. I totally get having your headphones on and you're scrolling TikTok or you're doing something on your phone, you're there for 2 hours, that's fine. I'm sure the nail tech doesn't give a fuck that you're not talking to her. It's the girls that are, like, full on phone calls. Full on on their phone to the point where they're not paying attention. And you can see that the nail tech has to be like, put your finger over here. I hate that. It's like, they don't work for you. You're literally just paying them to do a service for you. In this current moment. Pay attention.


I've gone to some crazy places where people are straight up on speakerphone, like, fighting with their boyfriend. I mean, it's quite entertaining, actually. But I love that. That reminds me, like, every now and then, we'll get our makeup done, and someone will be like, oh, you guys are so good at getting your makeup done. And I'm like, that's not a skill. And they're like, no. There's so many people who will be moving their head on their phone. They move while someone's doing their makeup.


I know exactly when it's time to look up, look down, look to the side. I'm right there with you, girl. We're working for the same.


Cause I'm in a full homeostasis mode of luxury. I am not moving. I'm not calling my parents back. I'm in the zone. I do fuck up, though. They'll be like, look up. And I look down. And you feel so dumb.


Yeah. And they're like, it's okay. But I do feel like my makeup artists and hairstylists, I feel like, have become really good friends because there is something about someone touching your face or your head. When we get our makeup done in random cities with random makeup artists that we've met that day, if anyone dms them, they know everything we just spew because we feel very comfortable sitting in the chair. And we're like, sorry, we're going to talk major shit right now.


Or we'll be like, hey, let's not talk shit. And then five minutes in, we're talking shit. We're good. Do you know that girl?


And they're like, yeah, no, I've seen her.


And we're like, oh.


It'S bad. It's literally girlhood, though. It's just like girls being girls.


It's girlhood. Speaking of girlhood, I just have to bring up capitalism for a second.


I love it. Bring it up.


Because this is my first year in the fashion industry and I'm fucking tired. I'm tired.




So first we all had to get red, and it took me forever because at first I was like, you can't just pick a color and make everyone wear it. But then everyone's wearing it, and it low key looks cool. And then I realized, like, okay, it's pretty easy to just fucking buy red. And the people think you're cooler. So then I got on the red train, and then I finally bought all this red shit. And then Paige shows up to Melissa Wood Health's podcast in leopard, and I go, fuck. Now I have to change my horrible job and get leopard. I saw leopard going around and I said, no, I'm not letting this happen. Leopard is so, like, we've done it so many times. Red was chic. Leopard is not. And then you walk in with it and you looked fucking good.


And I was out.


I went on Amazon. I ordered a leopard shirt. Is red out?


Yeah. Are both. It's not out yet. Here's the thing that I think the fashion community, or that the girlies need to know about the fashion community.




When you're looking at Hailey Bieber or you're looking at whoever you look to for style Inspo, they are wearing the trends a full year earlier. Okay, so right now everyone's like, mob boyfriend esthetic. Mob boyfriend esthetic. Hailey Bieber was wearing full length furs last year, taking pictures for Christmas. So that's how, like, an easy way to stay up once it hits the stores, once you can buy the shit in stores, it is essentially out because now the masses can get it. So once it's accessible to the masses, it's no longer in. In terms of the fashion community. But also, I am on the side of TikTok where it's like, I'm done with all the esthetics. I'm done with the trends. I'm done with all that shit. Be yourself. Which I will say I do fall, but I do love trends because I love trying something funky and then being like, okay, I'm never going to wear that again. But I tried it.


You want to look cute, and if you find the outfits are cute. And I actually been loving the is.


Okay, a perfect example is I wore underwear, no pants last year for Christmas, posted the picture on Christmas. Everyone loved my fucking outfit. Then this year I wore it at Bravocon. Everyone's like, oh, my God. It's like, well, I've been wearing it because it was in a year.


Like you. And it's not that people can't get it. It's more like the masses doesn't know they should get it. And then once it becomes cool, then it's in the Zaras and the h Ms.




But this is the thing. Do you ever feel manipulated? Every day, people in a room and they go, okay, everyone's bought red. Like, Hannah hasn't bought red in like two months. She has enough red. What do we need Hannah to buy next. Leopard put on. Hailey Bieber. Put it on.


Have you ever watched devil's wears Prada? Everything is hand selected for you from a group of people, and you don't even know it. You might not think you're in the fashion community, but you are.




Somebody pulled that lumpy sweater out of a bargain bin that you're wearing.


Fashion community. So bad. Also, finally, we forgot last week, worst wife ever. Des dropped a special on YouTube for free.


Wait, I need to watch.


It is so fucking good. First of all, I'm the executive producer, which is kind of a big fucking deal. Yeah, treat me differently. That's fine.


Address me differently. For sure.


Mrs. Executive producer.


Wait, it just flashed in my brain. I think for the first time ever that you're Mrs. Bishop.


No, I didn't take his last name. But, like, we'll go to hotels and they'll be like, Mr. Mrs. Bishop. Or they say Mr. Mrs. Burner. Which honestly gets me off.


I love that.


I'm like, Mr. Burner, come here. Des is your wife. So we put it in the newsletter, and then I told the gigglers, I was like, let's go old school. And pear bomb. Des's special because I thought it was funny, because Des used to be caddy daddy back in the day, and Des was laughing. It was like a good throwback. But I highly recommend. I'm so proud of his special. It is so fucking funny. If you've never seen Des do comedy, this is the time. So go to his YouTube. Des Bishop, it's called, of all people on YouTube. If you listen, pear bomb it or say something nice about the executive producer in the comments so it could be rooted back to gigi squad. Is there anything else? No.


I'm going skiing tomorrow, so pray for me.


No, I will pray for you.


I'm literally just doing it so I can wear my freaking prada goggles, get the pick, and then I'm going down once, maybe twice, and then I'm done.


No, that's the thing I could do once or twice. It's when you're doing it for 4 hours. I'm like, no one's even winning. We're just, like, surviving and then trying to survive again.


A game where it's like a sport that there's no competitiveness of winning. I don't give a shit.


You're just trying not to break your neck. And then you get to the bottom and they go, good. You didn't break your neck. Do it again. And I'm like, what's the point.


It's just like, what, at least give.


Me a cone to go around or something.


Yeah, put me on a race.


Me and you just go straight down.


At one time, last time I went skiing, the one instructor was like, okay, here's the thing. I'm going to need you to stop doing everything you're doing. I think my skis sparked at one point because I couldn't stop. I was going so fucking fast. He was like, so you don't know how to stop? I go, well, clearly, because we're at the bottom of the mountain now, so clearly, I can't stop.


Anywho, girls, stay safe out there. Gaglers, we love you. Thank you for all the love about the Netflix. I literally couldn't have done it without you guys. And we're in it together. We have to pick an outfit. We have to pick a title. We have to make a whole stand up set. We have a lot of shit to do, guys, so I'm so excited to literally show up. We have to.


It's not on zoom them.


Thank you for giggling, guys, and we'll talk to you next week. Bye.