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[00:00:00]

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What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your WiFi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

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I mean, the day just got away from me.

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What's up, my Grammy gigglers?

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We're both in Brown today.

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We're both in Brown. We're I feel like. Nails esthetic.

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Should mean something.

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It means life is shit.

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You know what's also crazy? Every time we do a live giggly squad, we never tell each other what we're wearing, and somehow we coordinate.

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I was going to say because we read each other We finish each other's sandwiches. But you're a psychic. I just seem like she knows. She'll figure it out. Then I think also we don't always match, but then we go, Oh, that was on purpose.

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I feel like I did manifest something really wrong the other day.

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I know for a fact, I did. What? Breaking my husband's leg.

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We're too powerful. Tell the gigglers.

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No, you guys. Honestly, he's... Des, if you're listening, this is for comedy. He's so selfish and he's so dramatic. No, he's so dramatic because I messaged him and I was like, Oh, my God, what happened?

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Did you just fall wrong on your leg? He goes, Paige, I fell 14 on your feet. I was like, You're an idiot. You could have broken your fucking neck.

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The funniest thing about it is that he instauried the whole thing. No, the whole thing. He was like, I'm hiking up this huge I'm going to ski down. My mom was watching it being like, Is this going to-I mean, every mom was like, You're going to die. Then he went silent. People were messaging me, and I'm sitting at the hospital with him and I'm like, We have to make a public announcement because I walked in and he was in a neck race. Talk about getting the egg. It was like- No, literally.

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You were like, Hmm, this is interesting. Okay.

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But the fucked up part is we planned this whole West Coast thing so that he he could ski because I love this man. I love this man. I want him to play his little games.

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Yeah, play sports. He's just trying to enjoy his sports.

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Yes. He calls it leisure. That's the European thing. I went to LA for three days. It was a huge pod slut. I was on all these pods. I had fun. He met me in Reno, and I hadn't seen him for four weeks because he was in Ireland. Oh my God. It was very romantic. I was like, who's this man I'm meeting at this casino?

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Did you shave your whole body?

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Actually, I forgot my razor. No. It was the worst I've ever been. No, hang on. I got my period the second I saw him. My period, the second I saw him, my body was just like...

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Oh, my God.

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So I was like gushing blood. Not the period that you fuck in. You know, people are like, I don't care about periods of sex. Let's be honest, day one and two, you're not...

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I actually care a lot about it. Please tell. I care a lot about it. And it's not where I feel gross. Like, oh my God, he's going to think it's gross and put a towel down stuff. It's more for myself. As I've gotten older, I've been like, no, actually, my body said that I can take a week off from everything and your penis included. So please don't come near me.

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No, it's boundaries. Your body's literally like...

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No, she's going through something. Let her have a fucking minute.

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And also you're swollen. You're just swollen everywhere. You're just gross. Yeah, you don't feel like it. There's one week in the month, I think, where you're just horny for no reason. Do it that time of the month.

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It's that and you want to eat a lot of cheese. Yes.

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I'm like, Do you want to eat cheese together? I'm hairy, I'm bloody. And I was just like, Hey, how are you all doing? Then we had a really fun show in Reno. A giggler brought a mint coat for me. A fake mint coat, a fa fur coat. Fa fur? Fa is such a weird... Fa. Fifa, Fa, Fa, and Fa, Coat. I'm in the green room and they just come back with this huge coat and they were really confused and they were like, We checked it. There's no bomb in it or anthrax. I was like, Oh, no, yeah, they brought me a coat.

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They That's so nice.

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I looked at the girl's message and she was like, Look, I'm a Lake Tahoe girl. Just leave it anywhere in Lake Tahoe and I'll pick it up. Any restaurant, any hotel. I was like, What? Small town she is.

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Wait, she brought you a coat just to wear for the night?

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Just for the trip. Because you remember I was like, I just need a coat to take a photo in.

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Wait, so she let you use her coat for a photo, and then where did you leave it?

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I left it at the hotel when I left. I said, Hey, some girls are going to pick it up. They were like, Okay.

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This is literally my worst nightmare.

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No, because I couldn't fit in my stuff. It was a big coat. No. Then I went ice-skating in it. Oh, yeah, I did see that. That was cute. Somehow managed to not tear my ACL because I'm an athlete.

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Right.

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I'm sorry, short. We go to Aspen. We have two shows, so I'm tired. Then I have two days in Aspen before going to Denver. I was like, I have vacation. I'm going to wake up, I'm going to sleep in, I'm going to go to get some up-pray lunch. I might shop a little.

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Maybe go to a spa.

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I was like, who knows? The point is, who knows?

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The world is your oyster.

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I had one of those days where I was like, Why do I want to do today? I got a text from Des. He accidentally texted me and Grace, which is so unbranded for him. In a group chat? Yeah. Because I guess we had a chat about Burner phone. He was like, Hey, I can meet you for lunch at 1:00 by the gondola. I was like, Today's going to be so fucking nice. Then he calls me and it's weird. I'm like, Hello? Then I lose I'm like, Oh, he must have been on the gondola. This motherfucker texted me, Going to the hospital.

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You know when you don't even- Did you start laughing?

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I laughed, but then I didn't even want to process it. I just got up and I just started putting my clothes on.

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I couldn't even- You're like, Yeah, I'm sure.

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We are. I wasn't upset. I just was like, Put your head down. But then this is fucked up. I realized I hadn't eaten yet.

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Okay.

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I knew it was going to be at the hospital for four or five hours. I'm not eating that hospital food. I got breakfast burritos, which took 40 minutes.

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Wait, to go or you sat down? To go. Okay.

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I mean, I sat down to wait, and then I was drinking. I had ice coffee. I was texting him like, Do you want food? He's like, My leg fell off. I was like, Do you want pork or chorizo in the burrito. Then I show up with my huge burrito, and he's in his neck brace.

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Why was he in a neck brace? Just precaution.

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Because he, honestly, he avalanched him. Apparently, it was just a little slip, apparently. But then it's so steep that he fell for five minutes. No. To the point where he had to get his breath. No, this is my worst nightmare. He was holding him for so long. He said he kept getting the air knocked out of him multiple times. He fell for seven minutes. You know those videos when you're slipping on ice and you just keep slipping? Yeah. He did that down a hill.

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Were his skis still on?

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This is the problem. His skis were on tight from last season, apparently. I don't know the logistic. It's too much ski talk. I've blurted out. So one of his skis didn't come off.

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Okay. Is that the leg that broke?

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Yeah. So he broke his leg, and then he just texted me his ACL is torn, so he needs to get surgery.

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Oh, my God. So is he done skiing forever?

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He's done with everything. He's out. He's so depressed. Is he depressed? Yeah. Okay, I hate to say it, but like...

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You have to get a new husband?

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No. I mean, that'll happen eventually. But he's just so cute when he's weak.

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Yeah. Oh my God, Hannah, you are Craig. You love when we're vulnerable because we never are.

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Because that is so strong. He's so strong. He's so alpha. He's so on his shit.

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Craig loves when I have the flu. I'm literally, sometimes I think he has Munchausen's. I'm like, I feel like you're making me sick. He loves when I'm incapacitated.

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Not important.

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It's not important. On the couch.

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He's Gipsy Rose's mom.

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No, he's literally Gipsy Rose's mom.

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But it's weird, though, because I'm not a caretaker. He takes care of himself, which is why I love him. But he woke up and he was like, Could you grab me something? He was so weak in that moment. I got it for him and he was like, Thank you. I was like, Wait. I feel-For sickness and an help. For sickness and an help.

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Is he in a full leg cast right now? What's he in right now?

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He has this leg. It's modern mechanical type cast. But it's his whole leg.

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This is a six-month recovery.

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It's impossible to walk with crutsches. You remember kids would just be like, in cruts? They're so fucking hard. So he's just like- I always wanted crutsches.

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Wobbling.

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It's like braces.

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I was like, fuck, I would be so cool with crutsches.

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It's so impossible to go up the stairs.

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No, you can't do anything. Also, it's so different breaking a bone when you're a child than an adult. That's all I was thinking about when I was skiing.

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Breaking your bone as an adult is embarrassing.

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It's not only is it embarrassing, but it also- You did some stupid shit. It fucks your whole... You can't do anything.

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But the most fucked up part about this is the last time we were skiing, I was in the hospital.

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You guys cut it out.

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I said, How many human sacrifices did the ski gods have to make?

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Well, it's because you go around talking so much shit about skiing. I believe in karma. The mountain is like...

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I put negative energy into the universe towards skiing, and they bring it right fucking back. But then, Des was supposed to go to these Denver shows with me, but he's like, I can't.

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How did he fly home?

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We wake up in the morning and we're messy people. We had a hotel room, and his shit is everywhere. He's like, Can you pack for me?

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No. Oh, my God. I didn't even realize. You have to do real shit now.

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I had a mom moment come over me where I was like, He needs me. I don't know who it was.

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You were like, I can lift a car right now. No, literally. I woke up. You were like, Have your suitcase. I'll bring this whole hotel with us.

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I turned into my mom for the first time ever. I was like, I folded something. I was like, We need to take care of him. I'm like, Whose stock is this? I'm running around. I'm getting his Advil. I'm picking up his dirty stuff, putting it in a bag. I don't know who I was in that moment. He's lying there and he's like, I love you. It was honestly hot. It was like a foreplay shit happening.

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There was some weird role-playing.

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But then we recorded an episode of Burnerphone, if you guys want to listen. We were just depressed a bit because we were supposed to record that day, too. We were like, We got to record this episode. Definitely listen to that. It'll make him feel better and watch his special.

[00:11:11]

I feel so bad for him because really, I've never met someone that enjoys his sports as much as him.

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He's been injured so many times this last three years, which is the only time he's known me, which makes me think.

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All he does in the summer is play golf.

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No, he was like, I don't think I could play volleyball or golf or ski, even ping-pong. Don't think I could play tennis. Don't think I play pickle. I'm like, They're all our favorite sports. What are we going to do?

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See, if that was my husband, I'd be like, Good.

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Well, that's the thing. I'm also like, I always joke that I like older men because they're tired. But he's the most hyper older man I've ever met. I'm like, Good, take a fucking nap.Yeah, take a nap.Let's sleep in. Then we have to get him to the airport. We're like, second floor of the hotel. It's like there's no elevator, the ski chalet. I have to get two of his huge bags down. We go to the airport and we have to get him in a wheelchair.

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So how did he do his leg, though, on the plane seat?

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No, it's a nightmare because he's a big man.

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No, he's a big man.

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We don't talk about enough. He's 6, 3.5..

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I feel like he's even taller than that.

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Arguably 6'4.

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No, because I feel like Craig is 6'4, and I feel like Des is maybe an inch taller. I really feel like Des is 6'5. In my head, Des is 7'1. His energy is giving. No, his energy is of a 6'7 man. He is the soul of a 6'7 man.

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But they say in photos, he looks smaller. Everyone thinks from photos that he's 5'11.

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Oh, my God. No, does this a...

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Whenever people meet him, they go, you're so tall. So he's this massive, decrepit man. And it's hard to get it through the aisle with the crutch. The whole It was a nightmare. And you know how I feel about admin? I went in full, I can't even process this mode. And he was in shock. But then we got a lot of attention on social media, so that balanced it out. I love that. And then we did Denver, and I came back. And he was like, wow, you've I've had a week. I've been gone for two weeks. I've had two weeks.

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Okay, I have a story that happened to me.

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I feel like I haven't seen you forever.

[00:13:22]

I know. I feel like I haven't seen you. I feel like recently we've been talking about very niche New York City things. I have a very niche New York City occurrence that happened to me. So I'm in my apartment, and Craig is in my bedroom on the phone. So I'm in my living room, and I can hear in my hallway, I can hear a door slam, and a girl say, Fuck. And so in my head, I was like, Oh, she locked herself out. If I had a fucking nickel. I hate when that happens. But I'm going about my business, doing stuff in my apartment. I hear a faint knock on my door. And I know that Craig had ordered something, but I never answer.

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I feel like Craig is always ordering something.

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Always ordering something. But I never answer my door for delivery people because I get like, freaking out. I'm like, They're going to force themselves in and literally kill me. So I just wait. They leave it outside my door and then I get it. But something in me was like, Oh, just answer it. You're right here by the door. So I answer it. There's bags on the floor, like target bags. And then there's just a girl standing there in nothing, in a orange silk robe, long brown hair, gorgeous. I'm just like, Hi. And she was like, Hi. I locked myself out. I'm so sorry. I'm not wearing anything. I have to go downstairs. I was like, Oh, my God. Come into my apartment. She comes in and she was like, Can I please have a towel to go downstairs? I was like, No, let me get you clothes.

[00:14:52]

Where you go, Wait, I have the perfect outfit for you.

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I was like, Wait a second. I have a sweat suit. I've been dying to see on someone.

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You go, No, no, no. This doesn't go with your eyes. Also, I have shoes to match.

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I'm like, A towel.

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You go, What's your vibe? What's your mood right now? What's your vibe?

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What's the journey?

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Wait, is she wearing a lingerie, like see-through?

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Like a silk mini orange cute little robe.

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You go, First of all, where did you get that?

[00:15:14]

No, I did say, I was like, First of all, you're gorgeous. You're stunning. She's standing in my apartment basically naked, crying. I'm like, Hold on, let me get you sweats. I go in the bedroom, I see Craig, obviously. He's like, What's going on? I go, Don't come out. The last thing this girl needs is a 6'3 man being like, her, there's a naked girl.

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Or that's exactly what she wants. No, literally.

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Then I was like, Am I being set up?

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Craig ordered a girl on Uber Eats in a robe, and she's like, Hey, I don't- Is this the right apartment?

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I'm like, Yeah, come in. She's like, Okay. Craig's like, No, I got that from Target. I bring... He's like, Okay, I won't come out. So I bring her sweats.

[00:16:04]

He goes, If I had a nickel, for how many times you told me you just wanted to stay away.

[00:16:10]

So I give her the sweats. I have a pair of Amazon flip flops that I keep by my door to go down to- You give her earrings, you accessorize her. I'm like, Here's a mini bag.

[00:16:18]

You go, Wait, I need to style this differently.

[00:16:20]

I'm like, How do you feel about your hair and a slick back and forth?

[00:16:23]

You take a photo like a stylist and you look at it in the photo, you go, No, I don't like it.

[00:16:30]

She leaves. She goes downstairs.

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How do you feel about Blazer?

[00:16:39]

She comes back up. She knocks on my door again. She's like, I just want to say thank you. Here's the maintenance guy's here has my key. I was like, amazing. She was right next to her name.

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She didn't need to do that.

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It was nice. She never gave me my clothes back. I'm sitting there and I'm like, Hold on. Hold on a moment. Where's my sweatsuit, bitch?

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Where's my Lululemon? I have an alo's sweatsuit that I spent stupid money on.

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I was like... Wait. Then I was like, Craig was like, Maybe she's washing it. She wasn't naked. Maybe she's washing it and giving it back to you. This was four days ago. I don't have my sweatsuit. And not that I do really care. I actually don't give a shit about that sweats you.

[00:17:18]

No, this is a wild story. Also, I know where you live.

[00:17:20]

No, I'll knock on your door. But to me, that is my number one. That is why I'm such a bitch when it comes to clothes and friends borrowing it. Because there are girlfriends that have things of mine that I'm like, You never fucking gave that back, and I'm livid.

[00:17:36]

Also, if you know Paige, she's actually quite chill about literally everything in this world. Except my clothes. Except clothes. Yeah. That's the only... You will forget that someone called you a cunt ass whore bitch to your face on TV. But if someone doesn't return a ring that you lent them, you'll be like, Do you have any respect for anyone in this world? No.

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I'm like, You're a narcist. You narcist, you selfish bitch. Give me my fucking skirt back. See, that's why I think God didn't give me a sister. Thank God you didn't have a sister. No, I would have- Thank God we're different sizes. No, I wouldn't have been able.

[00:18:10]

I mean, slightly. Slightly different sizes. But thank God.

[00:18:13]

I couldn't have had a sister.

[00:18:15]

But I also have this... It feels so bad when someone even lends you a hair tie and you lose it. Because I'm that girl where I'm like, just don't because I'm going to lose it. I know I will.

[00:18:24]

See, I never... I also don't think I've ever borrowed something of something... Like, clothes-wise. I think maybe in high school, I had one friend where we would share certain stuff, but that was it.

[00:18:35]

There's a TikTok being like, Oh, you want me to walk in your shoes? They're ugly, so I won't. I kept thinking about you with that quote.

[00:18:44]

Walk a mile in your shoes? I'd rather not.

[00:18:47]

I would never wear platforms.

[00:18:49]

She's wearing fur crocs. Am I walking a mile?

[00:18:52]

My fur crocs were the star of this trip. When I tell you I love these fur crocs so much, you don't have to wear socks. As an ADHD girl, socks, if they're off a little bit, I freak out. Putting on socks is exhausting to me. You just slip them on. I was wearing it in the snow, fur crocs.

[00:19:08]

Did you ever wear a school uniform?

[00:19:10]

One place, we had to wear collared shirts and no jeans, but I never had a uniform.

[00:19:14]

But you never had It was like a knee-sock, mini-skirt moment.

[00:19:17]

I did wear actually knee-scoats and knee-socks and limited to skirts I would wear, just my own fashion statement. But I would wear- I love that for you. Wild socks. I thought it was funny to wear crazy patterned socks.

[00:19:30]

Remember at some point when we were younger, people were wearing toe socks and you would put your individual toes in. I feel like you were girly that you got them in your Easter basket.

[00:19:40]

You just called me a horse girl to my fucking face. That is so mean. That's the meanest thing I've ever said.

[00:19:51]

I feel like if you didn't go tennis, you had potential to be a leader of the Horse Girls. No way.

[00:19:58]

I think I might become... You have to be so though. To be a Horse Girl.

[00:20:02]

That's true. No, I feel like there's some rogue horse girls out here.

[00:20:06]

I've seen poor horse girls.

[00:20:08]

You're thinking of Bella Hadjida, a question horse girl. I'm thinking like...

[00:20:15]

You found a horse on the side of a road.

[00:20:17]

I'm thinking like, pony head, pole in between your legs, like running around a gym horse girl.

[00:20:22]

I just have tons of horse photos in my room when I'm like, This is Daisy.

[00:20:26]

You're like, Monday, I'm going to buy one.

[00:20:30]

I also have a crazy story. Not to compete with your common story, but I was on a 6:00 AM flight yesterday, so I had to wake up at 4:00 AM because the Denver airport is an hour away from the city, which is like...

[00:20:48]

No.

[00:20:48]

Also, the Denver airport is in with the Illuminati.

[00:20:52]

It's all I think about when I go in.

[00:20:54]

The second I landed, I was like, You don't know about this, does? And he was like, No.

[00:20:58]

I'm like, Are you part of the Illuminati? I didn't know about it either. I was like, Have you ever been on TikTok once?

[00:21:03]

No, literally. Anyway, that airport was already skiving me out. I got in my seat. Turns out I was actually in the wrong seat. You know how A should be on the left when you walk in, but it's on the right? But when I'm really tired, I go left. I do this all the time, and someone has to be like, You're in my seat. I guess the girl was not in the mood because it was 6:00 AM. Didn't say anything to me. Guys, it's now next to me.

[00:21:24]

She just sat in your...

[00:21:25]

I guess she knew. I guess it was the last one, and she was like, Fuck it. She didn't know who it was, maybe. Anyway, I didn't even know this. I'm not awake. This man sits next to me, and he's wearing these really cool jeans, patterned and, I don't know, just wild. Then he has these Chanel glasses on and these long dreads and a face mask.

[00:21:48]

Are you sitting next to Lenny Kravitz?

[00:21:50]

No. Lenny Kravitz is so good-looking.

[00:21:53]

That was a good guess.

[00:21:54]

Then I realized I have to pee because life is just so hard. He miraculously gets to pee, and I go, Perfect. We're doing a team thing. I get up with him. Then we get back down, and he's like, Hold on one second. I have to get my pills. He's getting his pills, and it's taking a while. I'm standing in the aisle and people are... It's just chaos, and I'm just asleep. He looks at me and he goes, I always mess up my pills when I have different time zones. I was like, Okay, fancy. Someone is a world traveler. Someone's a jet-sutter. I'm like, Who the fuck is this jet?

[00:22:28]

And a drug addict.

[00:22:29]

So he's like, 7:00. It's 6:00 AM.

[00:22:33]

What could he possibly have been fucking taking?

[00:22:34]

I think he's 71 and had cancer twice. Oh. And he was like, Who is this man? You know when you look at someone, you go, I don't know who this is, but I know that he's a superstar. Okay. I'm like, I know my parents would lose their mind right now. So he says something nice to me, but I'm not in the mood to talk, and I'm like, whatever. Finally, he asked me something. He goes, I couldn't go to the Grammys this I was like, Me neither. And he was like, I went last year because I want a lot of stuff. But this year, I'm really busy. He pulls out his phone. He just starts showing me photos. And honestly, I really see.

[00:23:15]

Still has a mask on? Yeah.

[00:23:17]

He shows me, when you get out of the airport in Paris, there's a Chanel campaign. There's this gorgeous black older man whose face is the Chanel campaign. That's him. His name is Nile Rodgers, he wrote We are family. We are family. He wrote Madonna's like a virgin. If you Google Nile Rodgers, he's written The Freak, Se Chic. Oh my God. He's written everything. I'm like, Oh my God, I know who this is.

[00:23:48]

Common would literally freak out to meet him, I feel like.

[00:23:51]

He shows me a photo of him in Common. I go, You know what? Not so much as me, but my best friend. It was Common.

[00:23:59]

We're dating these men?

[00:24:00]

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. He's my best friend. This man, he's 71. I guess I was like, We're being funny bantering. He shows me his whole camera roll. First I was nervous. I'm like, Am I going to see tits or something? This cute innocent man is just showing me. He goes, This is at the Yves Saint Laurent. I was like, Pedro would love this. Chanel, he has a partnership with Chanel. They give him all his clothes and he styles himself. He styles himself like the sickest outfit.

[00:24:25]

Oh, my God.

[00:24:25]

Then he's showing me all these trips he goes on. I watched the documentary the greatest day of music, and he goes, I was there. I was like, Give me the tea. I'm not going to explicitly say it, but he gave me some good tea. About? Basically, Madonna wasn't invited. He's Madonna's boy. Madonna was really hurt that she wasn't invited because Quincy Jones basically was like, Your voice isn't good enough. This is Madonna at her height. Oh, my gosh. It makes me feel like you could be at your height and still be hurt by people. He was like, I wasn't in it because I wanted to stand with my girl. I didn't want to be on camera because he's like, it was like, I just remember.

[00:25:05]

Remember when Madonna was dying two months ago and then everyone just stopped talking about it?

[00:25:10]

Is she dying?

[00:25:11]

Remember?

[00:25:11]

Or her butt implant popped in?

[00:25:13]

No. Google that. Everyone thought Madonna was literally going to die. She got like...

[00:25:18]

Like John Snow. What a niche reference.

[00:25:23]

Grace looks so confused. She got staff infection or something. Oh my God.

[00:25:28]

Yeah, in June, Madonna had a serious bacterial infection that kept her in the ICU for several days.

[00:25:33]

Yeah. Then she just got over it and was like, I'm back, bitches.

[00:25:37]

This is so fucked up because I'm the biggest Madonna fan. Did she just get lipo? I think staff infection is code for lipo. Two weeks of a staff infection, you got lipo.

[00:25:48]

No, you would be dead. Lipo is out here and it's happening and it's popping.

[00:25:53]

My favorite thing about Barbara Corcoran was she said, As you get older, every 10 years, you get a facelift. It's just like what you do. It's like going to get your teeth cleaned.

[00:26:02]

I'm definitely going to get a facelift at some point.

[00:26:04]

Yeah.

[00:26:05]

We still- You know what my mom said to me the other day?

[00:26:07]

What did she say?

[00:26:08]

And I felt so like... She was being so wholesome. She was like, You know what? You should really buy a food processor. It really comes in handy. And I was like, When the fuck would a food processor come in handy for me? For making pies? And she goes, Well, at some point you're going to have kids, and maybe they're going to want macaroni salad, and you're going to need to chop up celery. And I go, Mom, I can I'm going to make you that never in my life will I be chopping up celery for fucking mac salad. But if you want to come over and make it for my children, you can.

[00:26:40]

That's the thing. I thought that we were going to just turn into our moms. I'm 32, and it hasn't happened.

[00:26:46]

It hasn't happened.

[00:26:47]

It did for literally six minutes when my husband broke his entire body and I had a panic moment that he would leave me if I didn't take care of him. But no, I've never once been like, You know what would make this macaroni salad better?

[00:26:58]

Children. Children.

[00:27:00]

So the funniest thing about Niall, me and Niall, he's telling me about New York City in the '70s.

[00:27:07]

I've been like, Great name to name your son because not only is it Irish, but like- It is Niall.

[00:27:11]

Oh, but he spells it the Niall River, like N-I-L-E. But I do like that idea after we said we hate children. He literally gives me his number. He's like, We're best friends. He's like, Where are your gigs? Like, whatever. He said, Cara Delevingne goes to all his shows. Oh my gosh. It's crazy. I leave and I'm like, I'm best friends with the greatest musician of all time. I'm feeling myself. I was like, Should I retire? What do I do? I posted on Instagram and this girl messages me and she's like, Oh, my God. I was on a flight with him three months ago, and he showed me all the photos. I'm like, so that's his thing.

[00:27:53]

It was so sweet. If that's not a man and if that used the same goddamn lines. If I hear the commons out here praying with other people on planes, I will be living.

[00:28:03]

For sure. That's what he does. At first I was like, he saw me and he said, there's something about that girl that's special. No, I could have been a dog. He just is old and wanted to talk to someone.

[00:28:15]

No, he literally is just like...

[00:28:16]

And he was not creepy at all. He was so sweet and so nice, and he liked that I was from New York. But that's his thing.

[00:28:23]

It's hard in these streets.

[00:28:25]

I didn't sleep on a 4-hour, 6 AM plate. No, that's- Because of Nia Roger. That was crazy.

[00:28:30]

That's insane. I saw a comment, and I was like, I like you, but I got to fucking go to bed. February is the month of love, and there's nothing I love more than a comfortable bra. Today's sponsor is Honey Love. They have revolutionized the bra game. So say goodbye to Underwire and Bulky fabrics that trap heat. I absolutely hate when my bra makes me start sweating. It's the worst feeling ever. Plus, they've made the fabric so soft, and it feels like a second skin, honestly. You'll immediately feel the difference, and it's so next-level comfy. For a limited time only, you can get Honeylove on sale. Get 20% off your entire order with our exclusive link, honeylove. Com/giggly. Show your support and check them out at honeylove. Com/giggly. One of the things I love about Honeylove is I'm always wearing it under my outfits whenever I have to go on a red carpet because I just get so nervous. And I honestly don't sweat because that's another thing I'm nervous about. But it also just makes my outfit look so much better, and it makes me feel more comfortable. I'm all strapped in, nothing's going anywhere, and I can really show off my outfit.

[00:29:37]

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A cast recommends Podcasts we love. Hi, everyone. The Other Hand is the go-to podcast for anyone interested in UK and Irish business, finance, economics, and politics. Chris and Jim take the issues of the day and discuss in ways that traditional media fear to tread. Jargon-free analysis and more than a little opinion have taken our podcast to top of the most listened charts. We'd be delighted if you could join the conversation.

[00:30:26]

Acast is home to the world's best podcast. Podcasts, including the David McWilliams podcast, I'm Grandma and the one you're listening to right now.

[00:30:42]

Should we talk about the Grammys? Let's. You first because you were spitting like Simon Cowell fire last night on your Insta story. No, literally not. I love when you do just one blurry Insta story.

[00:30:53]

Where is she?

[00:30:55]

I was waiting for all these beautiful curated pics and just you in the dark like, Look, look. I've been around this for a while. Just smoking a cigarette. Like, Look, I'm going to burn my fucking eyes out with my cigarette butt.

[00:31:13]

My mom has been with me for a week. We're sitting on the couch watching it, and she goes, And don't get on your podcast tomorrow and say anything bad about Taylor Swift. And I was like, Mom, sorry, but I have to speak my truth.

[00:31:25]

The floor is yours.

[00:31:26]

I will say I actually did really like Taylor Swift's dress. I liked the white dress. I know she does all these Easter eggs for her fan. She had to wear black and white. I could have done without the sleeves or without the gloves. Her accessories, obviously, she copied the Hannah Bern.

[00:31:43]

I was laughing because Everyone's sending me the Choker, so I had to post it. Also, I obviously did not invent a watch Choker at Devise NYC.

[00:31:54]

But I'm going to be honest, I haven't seen it around. I googled it. It's not like a I was like, Obviously, she's a gigler.

[00:32:05]

She's like, I need that. I'm feeling myself. Then I go to your Insta story and you're like, Can I just say, Everything I've seen at the Grammys is disgusting. I was like, That track's so... I was like, Fashion is fun.

[00:32:17]

No, I've actually really liked her's accessories. The thing with the Grammys is it's not the Golden Globes. It's not the Emmys. It's not the Oscars. You can wear crazy weird shit and have fun. It's It was like the MTV. You can be porky.

[00:32:32]

I like the girl with the furry white, the full furry white crazy thing.

[00:32:37]

Yeah, I didn't love that, but it was the grand.

[00:32:39]

It was the grand. I liked Ice Spice in the baby fat. She looked horrible.

[00:32:42]

But anyway, I think she dressed it so badly.

[00:32:48]

Wait, that's crazy because she's my style icon, Ice Spice. That's tracks, actually.

[00:32:54]

Here's the thing that annoys me the most.

[00:32:57]

She wears toe socks.

[00:32:59]

She That's what I'm doing. I'm wearing those socks. The thing that annoys me the most about Taylor Swift's team is if Taylor's saying to her, a hair stylist and a makeup artist, You have to do this hair and makeup or I'll literally fire you, then I get it.

[00:33:13]

But I don't see her doing that.

[00:33:15]

But if she's saying to her, hair stylist and makeup artist, This is the dress I'm wearing. What do you guys think? And then they're giving her the same red lip and the cat eye. I need her to fire them.

[00:33:27]

I'm going to be honest. I think she tells them, I want a cat eye and I want a red lip, which she can evolve from.

[00:33:33]

I think she can.

[00:33:35]

She stays with something. Remember the short hair look? She did it for a long time.

[00:33:39]

How does she keep her red lip so perfect, though? I've never once seen a transfer, never seen a little red smudge up here. How does she do it?

[00:33:48]

If I was dating Travis Kelsey and wearing that red lip, that red lipstick would be everywhere. All over him, all over his dick, all over me, on my eye. It would be so disgusting. People would be Have you guys ever spoken to each other?

[00:34:02]

Every time I wear a red lip, I say to myself, And this is why I don't wear a red lip.

[00:34:07]

I wore a red lip the other day, and all I did was I had an itch on my nose, and it got everywhere. It looked like I had a murder scene.

[00:34:14]

I don't know how she's keeping it so tame.

[00:34:16]

I do have to say, though, obviously people listen to our podcast, which is the coolest thing ever. The concept Taylor Swift might listen. A delusional side of me started happening last night, and I was like, she does.

[00:34:30]

Maybe she's seen a clip.

[00:34:33]

It's not crazy for us to say Taylor Swift may have seen a clip on her for your page.

[00:34:37]

It's actually not crazy. Everyone has TikTok.

[00:34:38]

Everyone has TikTok.

[00:34:39]

Everyone's girls.

[00:34:41]

And then she knows I'm besties with Haley.

[00:34:44]

Right. Okay, but that wouldn't be great. Wait, I'm getting my slow. Not great for the cause whatsoever.

[00:34:54]

There was a moment where I was like, she listens to Giggly every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, whenever we decided to put it out. She thinks we're really funny.

[00:35:02]

She gets the newsletter.

[00:35:03]

She gets the newsletter. She goes in the newsletter, sees what is paid, she's going to recommend from Amazon, clicks it, buys it.

[00:35:09]

She's like, What is Hannah doing that's quirky today? She's wearing a watch around her neck.

[00:35:13]

I do have to say her energy at award shows.

[00:35:15]

I do like that she stood for Olivia Rodrigo.

[00:35:19]

That could have been the worst energy. It takes Taylor Swift standing up and then everyone else is having fun. But I really think it's just her.

[00:35:27]

Here's the other thing, though. I'm a real fan of I see situations and I feel as though I'm like, How would I react in that? If I'm at the Grammys, I'm sitting behind Taylor. She's standing up every time someone's performing. In my head, I'm like, Sit the fuck down. I can't see. I'm like, Okay. I'm going to put a TikTok out, and it was a video of everyone going into the Grammys and how it looked like general admission because no one had a ticket. They were telling, shoing people. It's all these A-list celebrities waiting in a line.

[00:35:59]

With other teams or anything, and they're just waiting alone, and they're so uncomfortable. Their dresses are so fucking tight.

[00:36:04]

I was like, wow, this is so humanizing. Sophia Richie is there trying to show her a ticket.

[00:36:12]

It's fully pregnant. Just like, she's pregnant. Can she sit down?

[00:36:14]

Yeah, no, she needs to sit.

[00:36:16]

The thing also everyone's now... I went to sleep before the end of it. I wake up and there's all this drama about Céline Dion. Did you watch the clip? Yeah. She took it from Céline Dion.

[00:36:28]

As she took it from Céline Dion, she was looking back at the- At the girl who might have said something. Yeah, and Lana Del Rey. People were giving her shit for bringing Lana Del Rey up on the stage. No. Who cares? Who cares? People were giving her shit for... I will say She didn't even look at Céline Dion.

[00:36:47]

Well, this is my thing. Those moments are so crazy.

[00:36:50]

It could have been so fucking overwhelming.

[00:36:52]

I just have to tell you, as someone who may or may not have had moments that people will replay and watch, there's so much deeper context to certain moments. If I wanted an award, everything would go black, and people are like, Oh, she's won it 100 times. It's still crazy when you're on national television, you have to go up and everyone's watching you. I could easily just be like, Okay, Trophy, what am I saying? Why is that person talking to me? How much time do I have for this speech? We cannot judge her by that moment.

[00:37:21]

No, I certainly don't.

[00:37:22]

And afterwards, she took a whole picture like, Everyone calm down. And for everyone who's like, Stop talking about Taylor Swift. It's the haters that are talking about her all the time.

[00:37:32]

That story should not have been a story.

[00:37:35]

Why are we fighting the good fight.

[00:37:37]

No, Will Smith literally assaulted someone, and we got over it in six months. And we were like, What are they up to?

[00:37:42]

Can we talk about Jay-Z?

[00:37:44]

First of all, I was getting really annoyed when he was giving a speech because at first I was like, Is he not going to thank his wife?

[00:37:50]

You texted me that. You're like, Why?

[00:37:52]

And I was waiting for it, waiting for it, and then he went rogue.

[00:37:54]

Then he went too hard for his wife. Then he was like, Okay. This is my thing. That was the most Brooklyn shit I've ever seen. As someone from Brooklyn, I was like, he just fucking... First he went in and he was just like, What's up? Then he was like, shout out to my boys. Then he looked and he goes, you fucking stupid motherfuckers.

[00:38:12]

He's basically like, thank you for this award. It means shit to me. Here's what I think about you. Let me tell you about your sofa a second.

[00:38:20]

Where he's not... Oh my God, Niall Rogers just texted me. I did text him this morning.

[00:38:25]

Hannah's having an affair with a 70-year-old man.

[00:38:29]

Oh my God. Okay, I go, Hope you had a... I don't know if the other girl got his number, though. Okay. I said, Hope you had a nice day off yesterday. This is Hannah Bernert, the comic from the flight. Realized he never asked my name.

[00:38:43]

My mom was It was a classic New York City date.

[00:38:46]

It was just a day on Raya. We were best friends, but like- I realized he never asked a single question about my husband.

[00:38:55]

I think that's my husband.

[00:38:56]

I go, It's so much fun. I sent him the photo where I posted on Instagram because he didn't see it. You guys, by the way, I would never do this with- Someone not famous. No, I would never do like Emrata, Hailey Bieber. I barely... I would never. But there's something about him. He's this nice, sweet older man.

[00:39:13]

Yeah, he's an old man. Let's not bring up your grandpa.

[00:39:16]

I'm really not.

[00:39:17]

Why would you do that? I know.

[00:39:19]

Wait, he just wrote, this is the Q's thing, Dear Hannah. I'm already crying. I hope I didn't bombard you with chatter. Oh my God. Because he knows at the end, I was really tired. I said I had to take a little nap. I'm extremely talkative on flights when I meet cool people, me and that girl. Again, I apologize, but I had a blast. The fact that Niall Rogers has apologized to me.

[00:39:42]

Wait, that's so nice.

[00:39:42]

No, you don't understand. This was the sweetest angel man.

[00:39:43]

What did you say to him, though? You probably were like, Okay, I'm going to now.

[00:39:48]

Well, so he went up to have to pee, and I go, This is my moment. I was falling asleep while he was talking to me, but it was so interesting. And Dez was so cute because I was texting Dez because I was like, Dez, who is this man? And Dez was like, Take in everything he tells you. This is The stories from New York and stuff. And then he goes, Take care of my fellow Newyorker and all the best to you. He goes, I can't wait to laugh at one of your show's regards.

[00:40:12]

Oh, that's so nice. Common didn't ask for my fucking number.

[00:40:18]

You know what he did, actually? He gave me a QR code, not a Rogers. He just had a QR code on his home screen, and he goes, Take it. And then I got all of his information.

[00:40:25]

No, wait, that's genius.

[00:40:27]

It's genius, but I wouldn't want my grandpa out here just Just giving out his social security number to me.

[00:40:32]

No. Grandpa.

[00:40:35]

Jay-z, this is the one thing that I think is very, very valid. Award shows are stupid. Yes. And he even said, he's like, I get it, it's subjective. And the Beyoncé thing of her never winning album of the Year, I'm not a music buff, so I don't know about what makes an album best versus singles. Regardless, if you look at all the artists, there are so many artists that have been snupped. People were like, Céline Dion never won one. There's so many. So overall, it's just like, these awards are stupid. I want to know when you go, some of you guys shouldn't even be in the category. What category is he talking about? Who's he talking about? I was on Twitter for 30 minutes. Who was he talking about?

[00:41:20]

I don't know.

[00:41:21]

Because people are trying to say Taylor. I don't think he was talking about Taylor. People are trying to say Harry Style from last year. I don't think it was.

[00:41:26]

No, I feel like it was in general. I feel like it wasn't- But what category? I feel like it wasn't even pointed at this specific Grammys award. I think he was saying it in general, like with the Grammys. There are people that shouldn't win. There are people that shouldn't even be in these categories. I think he was just saying in general, it's a cluster fuck.

[00:41:42]

If I was the Grammys, I don't know the politics behind it. I'd just be like, You know what, Jay? You run the Grammys.

[00:41:49]

Here's the thing. I feel like the Grammys took a real leap because they know that he hates them. I don't know if this was their way of being like, And here's an award.

[00:41:58]

That was so funny when he said Will Smith First of all, first he brought Will Smith, and I was like, What's about to happen? Then he boycotted it but watched it at home. He said, He boycotted it once to watch it at home. Because it's fucking entertaining. At the end of the day, it's entertainment. And actual getting the awards right is wrong. The truth is, anyone gets nominated People who even are nominated. You go, girl.

[00:42:17]

I'm also going to say something really controversial. I love Dua Lippa so much. She can't dance. She can't move. She can't move well.

[00:42:26]

This is the thing.

[00:42:27]

Sometimes I'm like, I feel like I can get up and do that One thing about being an artist, I feel like lean into what you're good at, and I think she really wants to be a dancer. I think she does, too.

[00:42:39]

She did a full dance number.

[00:42:40]

But did she?

[00:42:42]

The thing is, she is like, model-esque. She's lanky. She's lanky.

[00:42:46]

Her body's gorgeous.

[00:42:48]

You don't have to move it.

[00:42:50]

Just stand there. Yeah, you can just stand there. If you're a dancer, be a dancer. But if you're not, you don't need to also be one.

[00:42:58]

Like, Tate McRay, you're a dancer.

[00:43:01]

A dancer. Olivia Rodriguez. She just stood there. I loved every minute of it. She didn't try and be a dancer. I love the blood. Loved the blood.

[00:43:08]

That was so good.

[00:43:09]

I'm in my vampire diaries era. You didn't see that one coming, did you? I didn't see that one.

[00:43:18]

You go so niche sometimes with your binges.

[00:43:21]

So niche.

[00:43:22]

This is the thing. Grammys performances are hard.

[00:43:24]

Yeah. I would assume so, too, because it's not like you're performing- Fantasia was great. Fantasia was Who'd your mom like? It's really more like, who doesn't she?

[00:43:34]

She's like, be nice to talk Taylor Swift.

[00:43:37]

She's like, I don't know about Billie Eilish. I was like, no, I love Billie Eilish. Then by the end of the Grammys, she was like, no, she seems really nice.

[00:43:45]

Yeah, her singing was so... That song, apparently, is impossible to sing.

[00:43:49]

I know. I watched a whole TikTok about it. Then I just like that she does it with her brother. I think that's nice.

[00:43:56]

Des and I were deciding if we should have kids or not. With the parents, they were like, your two kids are winning Grammys and performing on stage. I look at Des, I goes, Those could be our kids if we had kids.

[00:44:05]

Yeah, I feel you'd have really athletic kids instead.

[00:44:07]

He started laughing and he was like, No, they're going to be annoying.

[00:44:09]

No, I feel like if my child doesn't become something really great, I'll be pissed.

[00:44:44]

I need this order fuck. Side note, I don't. I realize I don't suffer from jet lag.

[00:44:53]

Because you're well-traveled?

[00:44:54]

Because I'm always tired. Yeah. So I don't know if it's jet lag or tired, but I'm used to it. I woke up exhausted I'm like, That's called the morning. Then it was 4:00 PM and I was exhausted. I go, Again, that's called the afternoon for me. It's called depression.

[00:45:06]

No, I think we have...

[00:45:08]

Depression?

[00:45:09]

Yeah, but I also think we have something like...

[00:45:12]

A bug?

[00:45:13]

No, like a nutrient deficiency.

[00:45:15]

I know, but what is that nutrient? We're not trying to find it. People are like, Well, have you cut gluten? I'm not strategically cutting out parts of my diet for a theory.

[00:45:25]

If you're saying to me the few words have you, just know it's not. It's a no for me. No, haven't.

[00:45:32]

Have not. I'm going to have to stop you right there.

[00:45:34]

Yeah, stop me right there. I'm going to stop right there.

[00:45:35]

No. I'm also... Wait, you guys, I have so many notes. I'm going around on people's photos, and when you just have a new thing you like to say, I'm writing on everyone's photo, I gasped. I like that. Because Haley Bieber said it two years ago with Emma Chamberlain. She saw her outfit and she goes, No, I gasped.

[00:45:53]

I like when people say, The scream, I scrumped.

[00:45:56]

Wait, I've never heard that before.

[00:45:57]

The scream, I Can you spell scrumped? S-c-r-u-m-p-t. Scrumpt.

[00:46:08]

Or is it E-D? Scrumped.

[00:46:09]

Shut up, Pamela.

[00:46:11]

No, I think it's a T. Wait, that's so cute, too. But I said it on three girls' photos, and I'm like, What if people are onto me? And they're like, You said that on the last girl's photo.

[00:46:19]

No, you can say the same. I say the same thing all the time.

[00:46:22]

None of mine. We get really creative. Well, that you're different. No, now I get... When I see you do a new post, now I get this exact...

[00:46:28]

When I'm like, What am I going to comment?

[00:46:29]

Well, sometimes it comes right to me. And then sometimes I'm about to write something and I see someone below wrote something funny and I go, and then I'll take five minutes and I work it out. I text some people.

[00:46:40]

It's a fun creative. I feel like it's an exercise for our brains. The gigglers What can I think of?

[00:46:45]

The gigglers will be like, Hannah, this is it. Then some of the gigglers will be like, L-O-L. Maybe next time you'll do better. I actually have some mental health stuff to talk about. Okay. Which I guess TikTok knew I went through it this last week. I started to get a lot of the psychology ones. First one is called, Men are jealous of you.

[00:47:02]

I mean, I've only been saying it since the room.

[00:47:05]

Basically, this guy went on this tangent that really made sense to me. You know when people are like, Oh, you're too much of a woman for him or he can't handle you. That never made sense to me. I'm like, Oh, so he's scared because I'm good? Or he's scared that I'm successful? Men aren't scared that you're successful. You don't make them feel good about themselves. It's not a jealousy he wishes bad for you. It's just that he can't handle who you are. But we never phrase it in that way. We're always like, Oh, you're too much for him. That makes you feel like you did something wrong. These men are out here jealous of you. I've dated dudes, and it's not like he's wishing bad on my career stuff, but he chooses someone else because he literally is jealous of me. He'll choose a girl he's not jealous of. I don't mean she's less than me, but whatever his own demons are, he can handle her better. That's something we really have to keep an eye out for in these streets.

[00:48:07]

As an evil, evil girlfriend. I have said multiple times to men. Honestly, to some that didn't even deserve it. I was just in a bad mood that day.

[00:48:22]

Some were just gaslit.

[00:48:23]

Some of I just wanted to see if I could make them cry. I have said, I get it. I am too good for you. You need to be with someone who thinks everything you do is amazing. I'm going to be honest. I don't think that. I don't think everything you do should be praised It's like, You need to be with a girl that comes home every day and whatever you tell her, she's like, Oh, my God, that's amazing. That's not me, okay?

[00:48:52]

I'm loving so hard because I'm thinking, What had to happen for you to get to that point? And then I realized nothing. You woke up in the morning and you go, Can I tell you something?

[00:48:59]

Literally nothing.

[00:49:01]

You go, Morning, babe. I was on the phone with Craig the other day.

[00:49:04]

He said one thing that pissed me off. I quickly went zero to 100 to the point where my mom goes, Page? Your mom's in the room. I don't know if he even meant it like that. I go, maybe not, but he'll know for next time, okay? You have to bully them. It's the only way.

[00:49:25]

But this is the thing. I do think so much of your life, you're taught making make him comfortable.

[00:49:31]

Find a guy who...

[00:49:32]

I'm exhausted. That's a jealousy issue with him. It's not like he wants what you have. Sometimes it's more just like he doesn't like that you're comfortable with yourself, and he's not.

[00:49:42]

A lot of it is you force them to level up because you show them what you're used to or you show them how you live. If they're not matching it, you're like, Okay, dude, get your shit together. Then that never works long term. Sometimes they don't want to. If they don't want to, that's fine.

[00:49:55]

Then if they do, I still feel like it doesn't work out long term because they still feel like they had They had to get better for you, which means that they weren't as good for you. And then they move on.

[00:50:03]

They're always trying to impress you.

[00:50:04]

And then they move on and you're like, Oh, I made him this great guy, and then he left me. No, because he never felt good enough for you in the first place.

[00:50:12]

Tell me all my exes.

[00:50:13]

I did this one guy who I thought in my head because I was younger and he had done a lot of cool shit. I was like, he's so much cooler than me. I can't believe he likes me. I didn't realize in my young brain that he hated himself. And the whole relationship, he made me feel bad when I was like, he's just so cool. Obviously, I feel bad about myself. He's so cool. Then when I ended it at the end because I just felt horrible about myself, he was like, I'm sorry, I'm so insecure about myself. I'm like, what? I thought I just wasn't cool enough for you. When I say cool, I mean, you just feel like...

[00:50:46]

You weren't good enough.

[00:50:47]

Exactly. When in his head, he felt like he wasn't good enough for me. At the end of the day, it's just people being insecure about their own stupid shit. It's less like, are you good enough for each other? It's, Are you guys good enough for yourself? Yeah. Because if you stay with people that you're becoming less than for or you feel like you're constantly trying to better, that's not your fucking job.

[00:51:08]

It's not your job. I genuinely feel like all of my ex-boyfriends should send me a thank you note or some type of card because every girl they've dated after me, they've stayed with. They've married. They've been with long term.

[00:51:22]

Because they're so traumatized by your relationship that the next person, they're just like, Hold me. Hold me close.

[00:51:27]

Or I made them the best version of themselves I don't think that.

[00:51:31]

Not that I just... I think that they've been like...

[00:51:34]

No, I think I traumatize them a lot. You traumatize them. In a good way, they were like, I don't want to be in that war anymore.

[00:51:40]

I'm back from the war. I just want to find a wife and settle down. Don't make me go to Vietnam again.

[00:51:47]

I also don't realize how genuinely bitchy my face is. You could be telling me something, and I could genuinely be really happy for you and interested, but my face isn't I'm showing that. Then I feel like sometimes I'll catch Craig being like, so what do you think? I'm like, no, no, that's great. He was like, okay, well, you didn't say anything. You didn't make a facial expression at all.

[00:52:10]

You're so Des because Des is just taking in the information. I'm like, was that not hilarious? He'll I was like, No, yeah, it was hilarious. He's just a Scorpio. I'm like, okay, we have our own shit happening. No, you're perfect. You're literally perfect. Also, when you're dating, this was a crazy thing I read on the New York Times TikTok. Does New York Times even have a TikTok? Chris, this is so good for you, too. Just keep an eye. Because Chris is young, Chris is learning. When you're picking a guy, pick him based on what he would do on the Titanic.

[00:52:44]

Very interesting.

[00:52:45]

Would he be the guy that would fucking sideswipe an old lady and jump on the boat to get out? Or would he be the guy making sure that the women and kids are okay? What role would he play? Because we all know that dude who's such a fucking asshole and you don't know why. Then you think, what would he have done the Titanic? He would have drowned me in the ice cold water for him to go because he needs to see his mom who sucks his own dick all the time. That is literally... I hate to be like... But Dez, for example, is like... He's like, maybe all Irish people are firemen, but I know in a crisis, he's helping people.

[00:53:26]

No, I think about it a lot. Every time I get on a I'm like, Okay, genuinely, if someone is trying to start some fuck shit on this plane, I know Craig is going to stand up and be like, not today. He goes, This is my mom. I was like, he's been waiting every moment to pretend to be in the CIA. It's now or never.

[00:53:49]

I really think that's true. When you know when you're like, I just don't like that girl's boyfriend, I think it goes all the way to that innate thing. I'll say this about Craig all the time. Craig is a good fucking dude. It's because I know if we were ever in trouble, like Craig or Des, are there things that are not perfect with them?

[00:54:09]

So many.

[00:54:10]

They're men. They're chucking themselves on mountains for fun. Chris would paddle his own arms. Chris would put us on his back.

[00:54:17]

He would make sure that he put the, what is it, the oxygen on first, but then immediately he's doing ours.

[00:54:23]

You're talking about the plane. I was talking about the Titanic. But yes, Chris would be... Chris, would you? Plane or boat? I got you, guys.

[00:54:30]

Okay, thank you.

[00:54:30]

Okay, that was hot. People are loving Chris, by the way. As they should. As they should. This is a Chris Stone podcast. One more mental health thing before I talk about Demi Lovato.

[00:54:41]

Which, I think, goes hand in hand. It does.

[00:54:45]

Okay. Actually, a therapist on TikTok told me this. When something happens to you, stop trying to think about the why and just think about the what. Okay. Now, I'm an overthinker. So when anything happens, I'm like, Why did this happen? How did it ever happen? What was the meaning? That just gets you more in that negative space. But if something happens to you and you just think, What happened? And not, Why am I feeling this way? Just go, What am I feeling? It's a game changer. You know when you get upset and immediately you spiral of like, Why do I react like this? Why is this happening? Why did that trigger me? And next, your whole day is ruined. Instead, just be like, What am I feeling? Okay, I'm human. That makes sense. Something upsetting happened, and now I'm upset. Can we just move on?

[00:55:28]

It's funny because something I talk about in therapy a lot is not being able to know how I feel in a moment. My therapist will be like, Okay, and how do you feel when that happened? I'll be like, I actually have no idea. I feel like I shut it off so much. I don't want to think why, I don't want to think what. I'd rather just, I'm going to leave.

[00:55:51]

I think it's an in between because I think too much and I think you can numb stuff. But instead, we both just have to be like, What happened? What did I feel? And that's okay. And now let's move on.

[00:56:02]

Therapist has made me start journaling because she's like, You can't even process your emotions because you won't even let your brain- Does she know that you can't write? I told her. And she was like, It's okay. You can do bullet points. Because I'm like, Am I writing full-out sentences? She's like, You can make it whatever you want. This is your journal.

[00:56:20]

Can I voice note? You're sending voice notes to your therapist.

[00:56:24]

You go, Wait, I need to start voice noting Maria.

[00:56:26]

The voice notes on TikTok, the making of a voice note is us. Because you'll be in such a good voice note, and then you'll get a little cough. You're like,. Anyway, I'm not starting this over.

[00:56:40]

But sometimes I'll be so sleepy, too, and I'll be like, Wow, that was really... I don't even know if I spoke English. Should I redo it? I'm like, No, she'll get it.

[00:56:49]

Doing a voice note is so funny. It's so embarrassing. It's the biggest cringe.

[00:56:55]

Because sometimes I'm like, no, no, no, stop. And then I'll say that out loud. And then I'll say...

[00:56:59]

And then you start again. You know, that reminds me of Alexis Myers. She's like, This is Alexis Myers. Every time I yell, I have to re-record it.

[00:57:11]

I lived by that. I want that on my tombstone. Every time you yell, I have to re-report that.

[00:57:16]

When you're mad about something, you're not going to believe what happened. Then you fuck it up and you're just like, okay, you're not going to believe it.

[00:57:22]

That's the part about that. I was wearing four-inch Manolos, not six-inch Louboutons. I don't even remember what she said, but it was great.

[00:57:31]

So Demi Lovato, who I haven't heard from in a while.

[00:57:34]

Yeah, what's she been doing?

[00:57:35]

Is at a heart attack convention. Okay. I don't know if that's what it was.

[00:57:40]

Okay.

[00:57:40]

It was like a charity thing.

[00:57:42]

Yeah, okay.

[00:57:43]

And she performed the song Heart Attack. Okay. Sometimes my algorithm's weird. It was like all my comedy friends, and they were just reposting that it was hilarious. They go, I didn't know Demi Lovato was a comedian. What was it, Chris? It was the American Heart Association event. I don't know. Wait, that's wild.

[00:58:06]

But did they ask her to do that? They had to ask. That's the thing.

[00:58:09]

You don't just go rogue and sing that song. She's not like, Hey, guys, I want to surprise you. That was fully approved by people. I think people are trying to make it into a thing. I think I'd rather a song that's on brand than a... I think it's weird when you're a charity, then someone's like, My neck, my back, my pussy, my cry.

[00:58:27]

How did we get here? I didn't know. I I feel like I've never been to a charity that they've had an A-list performer.

[00:58:34]

I feel like we just haven't been invited to those charities. I think the galas always have a talent, like singing something to make people want to come to the charity.

[00:58:44]

I've never been a huge Demi Lovato thing. Listener. Yeah, listener. I don't know much about her. I think I did watch a documentary years ago on her.

[00:58:53]

I definitely watched a documentary. I want to see the lyrics to Heartbreak.

[00:58:56]

To Heart Attack. Heart Attack. I know that Heart Attack is belted at some point during that song.

[00:59:03]

Putting my defenses. Oh, yeah. Putting my defenses up. Because I don't want to fall in love. If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack.

[00:59:09]

I think I'd have a heart attack. I think it's funny.

[00:59:14]

I think it's funny.

[00:59:16]

Was anyone on TikTok mad about it? Was anyone being like, This is so inappropriate?

[00:59:20]

I don't think it was cancelable, but it went around.

[00:59:23]

Can I say one more thing? Yeah, because then I'm going to say one more thing.

[00:59:27]

Okay, then I'm going to say one more thing. Have you heard about AI influencers? Yes.

[00:59:33]

Coming for our jobs is all I thought.

[00:59:36]

Basically, they're making these really good-looking people that are just getting followers because they're good-looking and stylish. Then brands are paying them to put the clothes on them and to put... Then I was like, Wait, it's over for influencers.

[00:59:52]

No, it's over.

[00:59:53]

But granted, having a personality, they probably could have a decent person. Some of these AI people have way better personalities than influencers.

[01:00:01]

No, they could literally make their personality whatever they wanted.

[01:00:04]

Like, likable, silly, the tone of her voice.

[01:00:06]

I mean, I don't think in our lifetime, but definitely in our children's and their children's lifetime, I feel like everyone will have an avatar, and that's what you put out into the world.

[01:00:18]

What? Where did you think this of?

[01:00:20]

You know me on my conspiracy theories. Did you see the kid on the subway with the Apple thing? He was on his computer and doing shit. I just thought, I just feel like at some point we're all just going to be home on our couches with that shit on, and that's how we go and do things in the world.

[01:00:36]

Isn't that scary? It's so scary. Should we have children?

[01:00:39]

If that ever really happened, we would have to move to a farm.

[01:00:42]

I was literally about to say, That's where our cult starts.

[01:00:46]

Start a commune.

[01:00:47]

We're hunters. The men are gatherers.

[01:00:49]

We literally just have kids and we chill there because I won't be able to do that shit. We make honey.

[01:00:53]

We make honey.

[01:00:54]

My mom's been dying to get Italian bees. Wait, what? She called me one day.

[01:01:03]

She was like, Zuh, zuh, zuh. All right.

[01:01:04]

Did you know that you can get Italian bees imported? The honey is supposed to be amazing. So much better than everyone else's honey. I was like, Where are you keeping these bees? She's wild.

[01:01:18]

She's like, Why does this honey taste like chicken marmageon? What are you going to say?

[01:01:24]

Everyone and their mom now has a bob, and so I feel like I can't have a bob anymore, but I love my bob. I think I'm a short hair girly. Yeah.

[01:01:34]

But my hair- Your hair is long right now.

[01:01:36]

No, it's long right now. My hair stylist keeps sending me one particular picture- Of inspiration. Of inspiration. He's like, If you don't do this, you have to, and I think I'm going to do it.

[01:01:47]

Wait, I'm nervous.

[01:01:48]

I'm going to show you guys, and I'm going to- You know I'm going to say yes, regardless. I'm going to put it in the newsletter.

[01:01:53]

Oh, wait. Also, people have been messaging me. They still think the newsletter is a bit. Guys, they can't believe that we actually- No, we have to collect our thoughts. It took us forever, but we've put together the most badass newsletter.

[01:02:04]

We have such a system.

[01:02:06]

We have a system.

[01:02:07]

Okay, ready? Yeah.

[01:02:09]

It is a crazy FaceTune photo, though.

[01:02:12]

That's a crazy FaceTune photo. That's a crazy FaceTune photo. That's not her actual face, but I'm just looking at the hair.

[01:02:16]

I like it. I just know you're going to be over it in two months.

[01:02:19]

I think I'm going to do it during Fashion Week, and then I'll cry about it later.

[01:02:23]

No, you're right. For Fashion Week, you really should. You should have a...

[01:02:26]

I want you to shave your hair. The only thing I think is my hair does grow really quickly, so I'm like... You'll be fine.

[01:02:31]

Well, you had a curtain bang. How was that experience? I hated it. Instead, you're going full... Wait, are we not telling what you showed me?

[01:02:40]

No, I'm going to put it in the newsletter, but then I might do it on Friday. Because I feel like my hair should be a little longer to do it, but I'm getting too anxious.

[01:02:54]

Or you go super short, like Audrey Hepburn.

[01:02:56]

No, stop trying to make me do that.

[01:02:59]

No, you're not going to... You don't have to shave it. Wait, imagine we fought the whole time because we don't have to shave it.

[01:03:03]

Like Dixie D'Amelio's hair.

[01:03:05]

Even a little longer than that. But not like Taylor Hills' Shag, like an in between.

[01:03:10]

No, I can't.

[01:03:11]

Maybe when I'm a mom- You would be so chic.

[01:03:12]

After I get married, I'll do it.

[01:03:13]

When you get pregnant, do it.

[01:03:14]

Oh, you want me to be 500 pounds with short hair? Stop trying to sabotage me.

[01:03:19]

That's what my mom did in the '90s. It was cool. She said she was really hot. She was really hot in the summer. I was like, shave me, motherfuckers.

[01:03:25]

No, that's something we don't talk about planning our pregnancies because I will not be in the summer.

[01:03:30]

That's Giggly Squad in 2028.

[01:03:31]

I'm not. I refuse. I won't do it. I don't think that's how it works. No, I'm not doing it because I can't be hot and sweaty. I won't.

[01:03:39]

Let's call my entire life. One documentary I want you guys to watch is the Lil Nas documentary that came out.

[01:03:46]

Where was he? Why was he there last night?

[01:03:48]

He's been working on his own shit. But it was an amazing documentary because they talk about him being America's Sweetheart with Old Town Road coming out, and then for him to literally have to come out as gay. And then people thinking that he was the devil who was tricking kids to want to turn gay. And he had to deal with that emotionally.

[01:04:05]

That's not a real thing people thought.

[01:04:07]

Yeah, that was what they were saying because they were like...

[01:04:08]

You also can't trick someone into being gay.

[01:04:10]

There's so many things that are wrong about it, but he felt guilt because people were like, You made our children like you, and then now you're trying to... Also, being gay does not equate to sexualizing children. No. And then his family is very old school, and they're all very accepting of him after he came out. But it's an interesting, vulnerable, beautiful thing. Love that. I have to go text Niall Rogers back. But I love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. We have Fashion Week upon us. Keep an eye out for Paige's content. And yeah, I love you. Goodbye.