Transcribe your podcast

For the new book Up Orleans, Charlie, this time of the year, I think we should.


Based on you telling me this, change the musical open, yeah, we definitely should to I mean, love the remix of BOP BOP BOP. Yeah. Should be a remix. We can do it in here in the studio. Meghan Trainor can put a beat on a Cashell, can sing over it. Can you do that for me.


Although I don't try to pick is not where I shine antibiotics in music and apparently weed edibles are not where I shine.


Well luckily I'm a musician.


Hello. We've done an open in ashes ashes.


But it's Christmas now of Christmas season, Christmas season or whatever you celebrate or whatever you celebrate season. I don't even like celebrate Christmas, but I celebrate whatever pagan ritual. Berkeley is my shit.


You love a limited to a Claires, I think Lares. I love all that, I love a pure one. Here's the problem, me and the holidays, first tangent of the day, I'm such a perfectionist and the holidays trigger me so intensely that if I see a price tag on a driftwood.


Elk antler and driftwood elk aren't like a dry ornament, a driftwood elk, that state that goes by the fireplace for Christmas elk and there's three different sizes and it's the little family of elk.


Yes. That costs six and only come out during Christmas. Yeah.


And there's a price tag on the hoof.


Like I'll get up from the table and everyone, it's a price tag on an ornament. Why do they put price tags on the string of the fucking ornament? I don't know.


Nothing is worth when they stick a sticker price tag on something and you pull it off and it leaves that residue and you're through and ruins candleholder when they put on books, when you buy a book and there's a sticker on it that says like 30 percent, I'll just put a sign on.


Hajjah surprised me at the register looking at less sane today because of, you know, I don't even buy a book 30 percent offing myself.


So you're not into holiday stickers and tags. I don't ruin your festivities.


The holidays are so complicated for everyone. We talked about this last year.


This is our year and they are one anniversary anniversary.


How does triggering a little bit for some people that's well, it depends on, you know, that we're working on not exaggerating that undersaturated. That's like that.


My new. Years, what if I go the opposite way? No one is, don't exaggerate, because then I can't trust you and I can't give compliments anymore to people because everyone else exaggerates.


So can we stop saying, you're so amazing, you're the best cook I've ever.


This is the best chicken I've ever eaten.


It's like, no, it's probably not.


This chicken is normal and you're OK. I just that's how we're going to come, because I when someone gives me a compliment now, I'm like, you say that to everyone and I'm trying to give you a compliment.


And my high school English teacher, Dr. Ibraham, who I hated at the time, love now, she would go through my papers and cut out various literalists and said, you never need to use very and you never need to use literally, which I still use. When I wrote my book, the note from the publisher was, you have seventy eight literalists in every chapter. And literally my favorite word, I hate you.


A couple episodes coming up y'all. I am sorry I shape shift to mirror my guests.


It's an old habit that I and I'm on antibiotics and steroids and DayQuil, like so many things, are my sinus infection and I will.


We had a very young person because I'm young. And she was saying, like, a lot. And I was saying, like, a lot. And I was like like like like, you know, and then she was like like like like an idiot.


And then, you know, it was like an OCD festival that no one bought tickets for.


Well, I like that you're going to say, like, let's stop using various. Stop interrupting. When when do you think that's going to kick in? I only interrupt when twenty four, seven. I'm trying to help.


Howard Stern was very clear in an interview when he said, I interrupt people when I think the audience is getting bored. Because. When I'm bored, they're about to get bored, so I interrupt if I'm bored and it throws them off. A lot of boring people coming up in here, my bad interviewer, no, I don't think so.


A fast brain, let's say, but it's not very fast because very fast. I would be super fast.


You never know. Now I'm conscious of it. And I was going to need to use the word super, very extremely.


There's no one.


Why do they exist? Remember what the other day when you said you said, can I be very honest? Can I can I be more than no.


Overly honest, honest or you're not. It's black and white words.


We are defiling words.


So when can I use very I have to tell me it is a word. It does exist.


Very good. It's great. Very great. When can I use. Very, very great is awesome. Very awesome, is spectacular, very spectacular, is stupendous. There is no word when can I use it?


Because it is a word. It's in the dictionary.


Very good. It's great. I will try 20, 20. I'm going to try not to use very trying. Not you. Sorry. Always. Unless I did something wrong. Um. I would use it in a sarcastic tone saying, like, I'm very honored you're here like I do little yellow dress, don't go to your little thing.


It's like when you say old girl. Oh, girl, look, this is how we talk in the South as we all girl.


And generalizing has got to go down that pay for this house that at first the first first line in your last special. Everyone everyone hates me. Yeah, name names, Trigon, I need a bench, and I got in a huge fight last night, I need data. And last night, I'm going to think that all we're doing is fighting, I'm dead. We end every night with a good night fight. We we have a night down to go to sleep, wake up angry to download.


We download and I go, give me feedback, give me it is a downer, that is true. Fenthion is like the only person I trust. I'm like, tell me what I'm doing right and wrong. Am I going crazy? Am I, Alan?


I said it etat launching an investigation. Gulleson What?


I need to go back because we skipped over Christmas and I was really excited on a tangent. What what else do you not like about Christmas?


Because I know personally I have some Christmas pet peeves too. I'm not. I enjoy Christmas.


I'm a holly, jolly person on the year. And I'm sorry if this comes off me.


And, you know, I am a sweet boy, but I do need to say that if you have multi-color Christmas lights, trash, trash you get you don't ever need.


Oh, my God. Is your tree a stoplight? We're the same. What are you doing? Have a single color light you want all green. Put all green.


You're going to buy me a migraine, get all blooming, all women. If you're going to have multiple life, they better. They better fucking blink. They better blink. It better be a disco party. That is insane to me. I seen inflatable yard decorations.


I will move will move to a different right. No done right.


The one down the street that I post on my Instagram stories was a snowman. In the belly was a snow globe and it was going it looks like you have a car dealership in the North Pole.


It makes no sense. What is your house? A theme park? Well, when you need a 20 foot snowman, a tornado, you've got to execute it well and it only looks good tonight.


Is this the Macy's Day Parade? Why did your house look like that? This is DAYBREAK. I know you think it's a really shit. I know you think it's a really simple way to decorate your house. Quick, easy and effective eating during the evening.


Yes. OK, I'm sorry. I know you think it's a really effective way to decorate your house quickly. It's not good, it's not a fun time. I'd rather you get those little tiny deer with the lights, but there's a silhouette of a deer. I don't see that.


Used to have an eight foot tall dog sitting here with a light and it would bubble. It was like liquid was in there. You had a lot of lamb, crispy sort of God, and it was one strain know, like 20 on it.


So it was like one strain and you'd be like, oh, wait, I know you don't like people wrapping gifts in newspaper, but if you bring my forget about that.


If you bring me a gift wrapped in newspaper, hear me out.


If this gets me canceled, I'll fucking if this is the I happily go, I know I'm a recycle person, OK? I'm a recycle bitch, but I don't want to see the obituaries on Christmas morning. I don't want to see the new Beatles write nuptials. Right.


You don't want to see you don't see job, duplications, job. I don't know. Maybe you get a job. Buy this gift yourself. I don't want to see ads. I read enough ads on this show. I'm good if you open your and Bodyworks soap paper bags from the grocery store.


Yes, please don't ruin my dream yourself. That's all on my tree. I love a good, performative, lazy activism of a newspaper that's going to get all over everyone's hands. True. Going to give everyone a sinus infection. You. Why do you get drawn to science fiction?


Now you're like, this will do it. I hate to. I'm here and you should get a one of those bakshian to go short, decorate yourself. That would be fun. I would appreciate that. Also in my family, you don't as soon as the rapping comes off the gift, it goes in a trash bag. There is a aunt hovering at all times holding a giant glad trash bag, just waiting. It doesn't hit the floor.


If it was a newspaper, though, you could just lean back and read it, get caught up, right.


You could open your Bath and Bodyworks candle and, you know, wait to find a dominatrix.


We don't talk about the MediaWorks so much of my enemies. What are your other one else in trendy intangible gifts?


Don't do not don't buy me a star.


Don't buy me a planet. Don't plant a tree for me. Don't do that. And if you're going to tell me first, because I want to get you a real gift and you give me something, then I have a goat. Somewhere you go, you got me a goat.


And in Oklahoma, what to do with that? You got me a square on the moon. Yeah, don't do that. I've got the star. Got the giraffe in Africa.


I cleaned up the litter under this bridge.


I don't use that bridge, but it's a crazy gift to get something so funny. Don't ever do that. It's about the opening. It's about gifts.


No, a whoopee cushion coaster you're giving me.


Try a unicorn coffee you're giving me. Don't know if it's vintage. I just don't know if it's something people are like, oh, I got you, and it's like a it's like a slosh shaped ice cube maker you put in the freezer.


Well, this reminded me of you why I hate this. Now, I don't think you know me now. I don't think we're very good friends because this is the worst.


Want to act like I like it.


And then I had to, like, give it to my mom and she just has it at her house. Throw it away. I can't.


I can't. I cannot throw things away. I'm. Self. Now diagnosed here, we can't be friends anymore, but I have to take this because I can't look. I got you a 40 dollar candle. Yeah, five years ago, I was in an L.A. meeting doubleheaders.


And the speaker said my goal is to every year do half of what I did the year before, half the cooking, half the calling, half the going to parties, half the gift.


As your friends and family die half the year and every year, I'll have to give less and less.


But if I make no new friends and I never get married or have kids, that's a great loss.


So you have to kill your family members so that you only have half that you don't give gifts anymore, but you are a serial killer.


That's the trade off. But it's over to my house. I think it's worth it.


Don't get a sinus infection from the construction site.


You may be completely alone, but it's worth it to heal. So funny. It's like. I mean, but then it's true. People do give up, but it's a very I give in to my gifting one too many.


A million. Not enough. It's my drug. It's because it feels so good.


I wrote a letter, a letter about this. You can Google love Lena Dunham letter thing I used to give to people in a way that was so grotesque with so many strings attached that strings attached.


Well, I'm going to send you a bill that makes sense. Network executive.


I'm gonna send you like a hundred dollars worth of flowers. But why didn't you eat? We'll be back like it's always what's your motive? A third string attached.


It's gross. Yes, it's great. You they have to. I'm gross. You have to receive it the way I want you to receive it. And when I go to your house, bitch, it better be on the table if I got you a platter last year. When I come over that plan are better. You see, this is where it's on you though, right?


Did you get a platter that I like because we talked about this.


Just get a registry. I like. I don't. Can I give you cash dream.


But it's about opening. It is. I mean, but there's no better high than giving someone to give the feeling the feel of a heroin, heroin, heroin trade.


It's my heroin. The guest on the podcast today has four gifts downstairs.


Some of them are things I love for my home sickness and oh oh get generosity is my drug. So I have to be more of a dig at. Good drug, though, if you give me something with a price tag on it, just I'm also don't give you to shoot me in the face with. Yes, thank tacky.


Oh, I also want people to text us to tell us what guests they want to see, what's working and what's not working because we're making changes to the podcast studio. We're getting a new table.


I saw the word this morning and no one will know. You guys don't know that because no one will text on these chains that I worked so hard to make. And we are going to get we're getting wild guests on the show.


We're also going on I'm star struck by our guests. I mean, me consistently said I need help, like I need help with security because again, because sometimes, you know, when you're booking guests, like you just we not Whitney like us, just want to book guests that were interested in that we find fascinating because that's why why would you not with people's brains work? So it's nice to hear, like, what you guys think is fun or what you guys want to see, because then it's more women, more men.


It helps us balance it out. Yeah. Like they them Persia's.


I don't see gender so I don't know. He hem them y'all. Me neither.


My eyes are always closed. Anything else before you hand over your New Year's resolutions, right. Yeah. We'll do that next. No, I mean that's what they are like. No, I'm like. Oh really?


Many more. Yes, yes, lots more. We're going to do that next time for the Kaili Coco episode.


I mean, do you have. I'm excited about that litany. Wow.


I have a busy year. I have a very diverse list I'm trying to do, which is a litany, very diverse, just very diverse.


So that's why I to do the word of the day, but nobody liked it.


So like subscribe, like, subscribe, comment, share, share the videos. We never say that. I don't think they're I think they tune out and people are probably listening this morning to hear Allison Aubrey and like skipping jam and don't ride elephants. I say that that's a good point. You guys play 90 minutes. Three, two, three, no, sorry. Eight one eight two three nine seven five to seven. I'm checking them. I post I repost them on my Instagram, I respond.


Sometimes I take the wrong weed edible and really respond to people.


Send a sketch suggestions. Just notes. In general, if you hear this, I love you. Bye.


What's a good sushi restaurant? Hello, shallow. Fresh off all the fresh aloha, fresh, you know, I love Hello, fresh dog fresh. I'm in a hell of fresh meal last night.


What was it I did? It was the Texas Mac and cheese that I like. Love, love it. Don't even have to spice it. No, there's like peppers and I'm obsessed with it. It's so easy.


I put some red pepper, dried red pepper flakes out and I was like, yeah, what are you changing?


Their perfect ingredients yodeled. It's very much handled.


Hello fresh. Hello. Fresh budget.


If we had this as kids, how much taller we'd be, how fresh it was. I want to say my mom so much more.


Well how much stronger my fingernails would be if I had so many less sinus infections. I would have. I actually ate fresh food.


My eyelashes would be so long.


How fresh is great though. It's a it's a milk delivery kit that just delivers pre measured ingredients right to your door. They have like all kinds of meals. They have meat options, non meat options. They have a calorie option if you're like checking on your weight. Limitless.


Yeah, I mean everything. I mean the thought of everything, a little bit of everything. And it's super easy.


But you can also do add ons like garlic bread.


Cooking bread is I used to love Olive Garden garlic bread, but I think this is even better. Sorry, it's really good.


I take I mean, this growing corn is great.


I mean like the perfect amount of crunch it is. I mean, it's super cool. They even send you a recipe for the garlic bread that's just put in the oven at if you have covered it.


Can't taste. I feel sorry for you right now because you can't eat the fresh garlic bread. I don't even kid approved recipes.


Now, like in case you have picky little kids, picky little kid, you got some kids.


I taught all that.


But OK, we'll turn on one having kids go.


And also Hello Fresh is committed to giving back in twenty twenty. So far they've donated three point five million meals. That's pretty cool. You can go to hell or fresh dotcom. Such good for you. Eighty and use code. Good for you. Eighty to get eighty dollars off. Wow. Including free shipping. That's how fresh dotcom is. Good for you. Eighty and use code. Good for you. Eighty to get eighty dollars including free shipping.


This is a New Year's resolution if I've ever heard one. How many times I do you say it. But one more times, at least many times, one more time. I have to tell you one more that I attribute most of my positive changes in my life to ritual Edwards. I mean, I do the ritual is a ritual way before I had a podcast, you did. You had ritual when I mentioned you had it in your cabinet. Ritual is not your typical multivitamin.


Ritual is clean, vegan friendly formulas, maybe key nutrients in your body can actually, you know, shady ingredients, vitamins or think about there's toxic shit in vitamins.


Call them out. How is that legal track themselves? I wish I will I will not stop what I look at. These pills are like neon pink and purple. Like, why does that have to you just put food diet it? Yeah.


It cancels out the vitamin. This is what a wrecking. That's that's an insecure environment for a Stennett, I'm furious.


Well, ritual has they just simply destroyed the environment for men and teens. Yeah.


OK, so now they're not just throwing out these as a tee'd. They also have they now have their best selling prenatal vitamins, which is pretty important. If you're pregnant, I'm going to take those.


It just manifests wishful thinking, but also ritual.


The ritual is that you have to think about it. It's delivered right to your door every month. You deserve to know what's in your multivitamin. That's my ritual is offering my listeners 10 percent off during your first three months. It's my true visit ritual dotcom. Whitney, to start your ritual today, silence me on my own show. Thanks for hanging out this long ritual.


Ready, set, go on, Ashar, your director, how do you start when you're directing a like action but you're saying it like old time, like action, go? Oh, no.


You know what? I think I had my first aid saying action on the episode of Glo. I directed. I was like, you say, action, you're closer and you can just yell it. And then I don't feel like these people I've acted with are now seeing me be like action. Like I didn't want to be self-conscious about the word unless I was standing close by.


This is easily the most stressed out about I've been about an interview, what the most stressed out usually me to maybe. But why you. But why you.


So the most stressed out I called I face timed brilliant director Lesley Hetland this morning to talk about you to like get a grip. Oh because this is my deal with you.


Oh God. Oh oh.


Here we go. Everything about you huh.


I should be jealous, huh. I should Hajja. My internalized misogyny should I'm obsessed with you.


Never heard a negative word about you and I don't buy it. Is that true.


Hundred like that that you led me in a way that I thought something terrible was going to happen. And then you said really nice things.


Bad things are coming up. Oh, OK. So the garden slightly up even if I have to lie. But I was like, why is she so fucking. Likable, like, why do I like her so much? It's because I keep myself at a distance from everybody so they don't I want to know about the much. The only problem I have with you is that I think we should be better friends.


You know, I actually often think that as well. I'm I'm totally serious because we have a lot of mutual friends.


That's something that you would say. Do you say this to everyone? No, no. In fact, no, no, no. Like, I feel like when we hang out, we have such a blast. One hundred percent. I'm being totally honest. And I do not say this to everyone every time I see you, because we have a lot of mutual friends. I feel like I often always see it like the same couple people's parties. Yeah.


And every time I get home and todavía I'm like, I love Whitney, he'll be like, you know, he'll be like debriefing. Who do you hang out with. How is the night.


I'll be like you know, I hung out with Whitney a lot. I feel like I really like her and sometimes we'll text a little follow up. Yeah exactly. Sironi you're in an Sonsoles next birthday.


It's so we're such weirdos with each other like. Yeah.


And I, I mean, I did think you were a little mad at me at that game party because I was very stoned and we lost our team was the lowest scoring team and it was definitely my fault. I was mad at, you know, I'm really sorry.


I was I wasn't it it's impossible to get out of you, but I, I, I know.


I know.


I was, like, sabotaging the team on game night at a friend's house. And it was first of all, that friend tricked us all. She didn't tell us it was going to be a game night until we got there. And at first I was like a little upset, but then I thought I was like, that was the smart choice because I might not be getting the here's what I can get very competitive with gaming, but also I get a lot of anxiety.


So I'm like, let me just get stoned and have a fun time and curb my, like, intense gaming. And then also I'll just have fun. But but Whitney's bad at me was the downside. It wasn't I wasn't mad at you. I just the only bitch that's more type than you is me and you're like be type with me. And I was like, not now. You invite me to a game night, like I'm going to win the game night.


I'm not. You're already my friends and I will happily lose a friend and win at a game night and see I guess.


And I've had some some experiences where I thought I was too intense in game nights. And so then I've been like, I don't I mean, I don't want to go out and test you very much so because I drank the weed lemonade, which turned out to be much stronger than I thought. And then I also got the word trombone for Pictionary, which I put in my mind. I was picturing a trumpet, so I was just straight up drawing the wrong thing, remember, all for five minutes.




Oh, and then I felt because I also am like I have Allison Aubrey on my team, we're going to be amazing. Pictionary game No. One smarter. Nobody's funnier. Nobody's better at acting like this. But you were didn't go by. I was too high. You were high. But it was fun for me and I get sober breeze. I was mad at Highbury but not so great. I get that. Ironically, I won a bottle of champagne for being the worst player of the night and I think that was a better gift than maybe like the winning team got the winning team googled the answers and they lied.


That's true. But the birthday girl was on the winning team who orchestrated the game night, which is a little like if you're going to have a game night, why would you cheat? But also it's your night. It's your birthday girl. So and also I'm kind of cheating.


What? Lance Armstrong, I. I did watch everybody cheat. He cheated the best. Yeah, I watched that.


And that was my takeaway from it too. I was like, I mean, everyone was doing it so he did it. OK, so then you and I, I feel like I've carried an embarrassment around you because when you and I first started to like, get concentric and like know each other, you were on the really, really cool show community. And I was on the really, really like dorky sitcom show, Whitney.


And like, you were the like and I like this is not how anyone thought of those shows and not how I thought of those shows. And I'm like. I'm a loser, I'm a dork, I had this whole narrative I'm obsessed with, like the way we project on the people. Yeah, I projected so much onto you. I was like, there are the cool kids were the dorks.


Oh, Michael hates me. We still hate you, though. I, I would if I were him. Why? Joel doesn't hate anyone. Let me tell you. Just sweetest person. Yeah. Joel and I, we had this conversation at the Comedy Store like a couple months ago where I was like, I thought you hated me. And he was like, oh yes. Totally made it all up. And he's like, Do you need me for anything?


First of all, that's so funny to hear, because when we were on community, I think we all felt just like the I don't know what's the trouble trying to think of somebody, some awful cousin. Look, I'm not firing on all cylinders. I'm not stoned. I'm just saying you are the I feel like we were the bastard stepchild show on NBC, but it's the quality, not quantity. You had the cool kids.


I mean, I we you were I did feel like we had good quality. I loved working on the show, but also it just like would never I would never think of other shows and be like it were cooler than I think.


And I'm not, I'm not I'm not saying you weren't think I did do that, you know.


Oh I'm like except that one time I saw you I forgot that I was like, I know for a fact because I do know that my writers room at the time who used to complain about your writers rooms hours.


Oh, our writers rooms had it back, writers rooms, plural, just one. They had it that I don't think people understand writers rooms like snitched on other writers rooms and snitch on other shows. And I know that my show is the butt of a lot of writers room jokes like inside joke. Why in what way? Because I've talked about this before. It's it's no point in rehashing it.


It was like I was like I was on all these billboards and I was on on. Right. Right, right. Right. Mr. Magoo and I like was like on popcorn bags and shit. And it was like it was like I would I get it, I get it in front of me.


Were you in the writers. But you were like the writers are now writing. There was a show called Alison. Of course you have a target on your back. All like this bitch.


Totally, of course. No. So I was like I was like a punch line on SNL. OK, but wait to first question is, weren't you in the writers room? Yes, I was, but so that's different from like me and the community writers room. This is my biggest fear with you is you're so this is what I called Leslie about. I went Alison is so fucking charming and she's so smart. She's so quick. I'm worried she's going to run away with my podcast.


So then when did you start feeling? I was like when I was like, don't let her.


I called her and I was like, how do I stop Alison from making this her podcast? That's what a funny question, I hope Leslie only said nice things about me because I adore her. I have never had like I had so much fun on that movie. Leslie Hadland, sleeping with other people, directed Bachelorette Genius. She. I mean, we talk shit about truly everyone. That I believe if we sat on the face time I was walking to my doctor and we're face timing and we can't, I'm like, why do we love her?


So, like, explain what? Give me some gossip. What? There's no one has anything on you.


I mean, and this is why I didn't think we could be friends originally. I was like, No. One, I'm embarrassed that she's on the cool show and I'm a dork. I mean, that was my projection. Never totally told everyone. I was like I felt like Carrie at the end of the movie With The Blood.


I also always like I couldn't I only knew how to bond with people, OK?


And maybe it feels like I don't have a lot of trauma. I don't see a lot of darkness in you know, there's not there's not a lot of darkness, which is so dark.


But I have some trauma. I mean, like there's trauma caused. When you did what girl? Yes. Her grandmother was schizophrenic. Yeah. Doctor, we can be friends. Know. Yeah, there's trauma in there. But I would say it doesn't affect me on a daily basis. You know, you're just like such a happy person.


And I didn't understand that for so long. Sure.


It's not untrue. But also and then I have like mild depression too, but.


I don't know, I don't know I don't know how to talk about it, and sometimes it's really dark and most of the time it's not, you know, but it exists. Yeah.


What a dream you are. So it's so funny looking at you because I'm now like a fan of yours, like a big fan, because I've been watching.


I watched promising young woman.


Oh, and it and that's what made you feminine feminist three major like suddenly it is a really cool movie.


It is a cool I've seen it, I saw it at Sundance is when I got to see it at its Sundance premiere.


Watch the rental I, I saw. I have a lot of questions. Sure. I don't want to talk about the movies. I don't want to ask any questions that you've been asked before. Great. And I'm going to stop you from talking even if I'm charming, talked about before, because you're so fucking charming. Even if you're saying something charming and interesting, I'm going to cut you off.


It's something you said before.


OK, so in the rental, there was this relationship of this work, wife work, husband thing.


And when I was watching that, I was like, oh my. That is my favorite sticky shit. Like, can men and women work together and not fuck each other? I'm sure.


Where did that come from? Um, I mean, David wrote it either very cathartic, no, no husband wrote it. Yeah, but where did that come from?


Because it was my worst nightmare, because to me, the the movie which Benton posted me watching it, I was like I was literally like eating the screen. I was so riveted by it. That's why the horror stories started there for me 100 percent.


I mean, that's the whole story is the person that my boyfriend works with.


Yeah. Oh definitely. I mean, I feel like love. Dave wrote it that way in terms of like, it's it's especially a nightmare for a character like mine in the movie who is, like, not worried about it at all. Almost. I think like that sucks more where you're like, I'm so confident. I'm actually not at all worried that my partner is going to cheat. Yeah.


What fuck you for letting me be so quick and so specific that that moment when you learn, do you believe that if you're cheated, if you if you cheat with me, you'll cheat on me?


Well, that's interesting, but but I feel like you're fishing for a story about, like me cheating on someone with David or like I'm not fishing for anything.


No, no, no. I'm just saying I just feel like I'm I I don't have a satisfying answer that's going to be like, oh, I know that this came from Dave's experience with this. I mean, I do think he's fascinated by that idea as well, because it's something I mean, I guess for us as a couple, there's an interesting thing where we I feel like we try to always be so respectful of each other in that way because we're both actors and we have like romantic scenes with other people.


And so we want to be real open with each other to be like, don't worry. And I would never do that. And then, of course, you hear constantly about other actors cheating on each other who are in couples. And I find it interesting that, like, the way that David, I react about it, when you hear a story or someone you know, everyone's so fuckin you'll get sent an article from a catty friend who's like, OMG, look at this headline about this famous couple.


And David, especially if I ever will tell him stuff like that, he's like such a compassionate person and and there must be some outlying fear about that kind of stuff, that it more just makes him really sad and bummed for the people. He's not like, yeah, or like, oh, we all knew about that. He's real.


He's like, oh no. He's a real outlier. Yeah.


It's, it's like and it's all true. You think I'm a good and charming person. I know you guys are.


I'm like I have definitely been like scientology, like there's death.


There's stuff I was about to be like, oh, I wish I could be a lot more famous if we were, like, dipping a toe into that. Yeah. I had a neighbor once who tried to rob me and I was like, I always having the most fun.


You think I have a lot of fun. It's like the drugs you have the. So that's the other thing is that you have a very healthy relationship with drugs.


I do now. I think I used to like pre Dave. I definitely got too drunk. There was a like up period of my life I think where I was getting real blackout drunk, like every time I would drink.


Yeah. And that was a dangerous it was a dystonic deal. No, no. And I definitely have like, you know, there's family history with alcoholism for sure. Yeah. Are you scared of anything?


Bike riding. Oh, I like outdoor bike riding. Yeah. Yes. And you know.


Oh, you're just like good and no, I'm scared of degrading thing. I'm scared of like. I hate to I don't know. Hmm. I mean, I guess I'm scared. There's definitely like body issues in my family, so I'm scared of, like, extreme weight gain. So which is a terrible thing to say. I love that. Like, no, no, no. I love every size a body. And that's not, you know, this I will happily get cancelled for this.


You and I used to work out together. Yes. Because you used to train. Yeah, it's Jason. Jason. I still do. And yeah, that's ok. OK, there's no good. I never know.


I never live in a mountain and I just run up and down mountains. I just like.


But you're you have this thing. I have it to what you like.


You want to be strong is shit. Yes. And you're like training for life and something wild happen to me. Like three months ago.


I was smoking weed last year which doesn't it didn't suit me at the time. I get just like I don't like being slow. Yeah. I don't like being groggy.


Yeah. It just doesn't work for me and then I just stop work. I'm very I'm, I'm a very extreme person.


I'm like working out every day for two hours and then not for six months.


Sure. It's like it was like a weird pendulum swing. And then I started working out of the why am I doing this? Like I'm not training for a movie. I don't even know what this is for. And then my dog got really seriously injured and I had to carry him.


He's one hundred and twenty pounds like to the car like and you could and you were like, oh and I was like, I'm not.


That's why I was training like like I feel like you're training for life bitch. Definitely. But that's certainly shifted with glow became a whole new thing where I was training for the job. But then I tapped into it into like an even cooler way that I was like, oh, this is really healthy for me because I've always had weird mental issues around my body and I've thought about it being strong.


Are are fat, fat, fat, you know. Were you did you think fat was fattening? Yeah, oh, yeah, I mean, look, all the stuff like my mom did all the fad diets and did all that stuff, so I have like everybody had like I feel like we don't talk enough about how our moms always were dieting on those wild South Beach diet.


Well, right. All the diet soda, all of that shit. Yeah.


But then also we're doing like there was the pre diet that was like, well, I better eat a lot on Sunday because then I'm not going to eat all week. And you're like, what. Like there's so for me there's a lot of I've been able to watch my mom kind of like try a lot of different things that seemed unsuccessful. And then also watch, like my sister, like I have an older sister who's a couple of years older.


So, like, then see the effects of it in her and kind of how that affects her and the different. It's like both of us trying to figure out what's the healthy thing like I want to kind of change my brain so that I'm not either. There's like anxiety, stress, eating where it's too far, you know, and then there's, like, not eating, which I could never fully do the way that, like, people girls in Hollywood are like, I just have a coffee and then I'm fine till dinner when I eat it, because I would eat a lot and then work out for three hours.


Sure. And I may have gone through a small phase of that. Sure. Sure. You're familiar with that? I'm straight to crunch, but like, I think that strength training was finally the thing that unlocked. Like, I feel like we all had this thing where we were like cardio cardio. Like, at first I was like, if I just do a long run twice a day, then everything will be fine.


What I'm hearing from you, I think it's also about like we have so much fucking energy.


Yeah. And there's also that there's also like we have this energy and like I think that. What makes you so great at being able to be an actress and a writer and a director like you? I think you're like what people think I am.


Like, everyone's always like, you get so much done and you're so productive. I'm like, this bitch.


It swings. The pendulum swings. I feel like I've known a lot of it happening. You need a lot of it to be happening.


I think that is true. I think that's true. I also think, though, I like a routine. So like the same way that you're talking about, like you're it's one or the other. Like I once I'm locked into something training with the trainer and I like it, it's working for me and that is clicking in everything into a healthy place of like what I what I want to say is like especially once I started training for Glo and was like, look, I mean, I do want to full disclosure, I do want to get into shape because I got to be naked, like fully nude for the first time.


Let's scream. And like, I'd want to look good. But also I I've like agreed to do my own stunts on the show and I want to like, do them for real and like just be the best, you know.


Did you have the nude eye? The last time I did a nude scene was a disaster for a litany of reasons. But did they have the intimacy coordinator? Not yet. Not yet. We had and by season three, there was someone that just hovering around holding a bag.


Well, in season three and season four, which we because we shot two episodes of season four that no one will ever see. But one of them included, you know, a sex topless sex scene with me that no one will see. I'm confused. OK, so I talked to Jen, used about this, the casting director of Glo. Yeah. They they basically shut it down because covid.


Yeah, sure. It yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, I think it was well yes. Fully. Well there's a tough shot but not edited. Yes. So we were two weeks into production, we shoot six episodes so we had shot one and almost all of the second episode then the shutdown happened. So we shut down like everybody because of covid. Right then because it's a wrestling show. I think as people tried to look at ways to get back into production, our show was like just immediately placed on the back burner of like, obviously this will be a later show to go back then, like the further it started to get pushed.


You know, some changes have happened managerially at Netflix.


I'm sure that people just started to look at things and go, why would we continue to spend this? Much like it was already going to be the last season of the show that it had already been a year since we had season three had come out. There's no mystery anymore. Like it's going to come back on like four years, right? I mean, yeah, you'll do like a movie in four years. I just think it did great by the bell is out again, is it.


Yes. I just saw a trailer for that.


I was like, there are no rules anymore. Yeah. You know. Yeah. So it could come back.


But my point is there was not an intimacy coordinator for the for the sorry that there was an intimacy coordinator for the start of season four for my topless sex scene. No, I have to be honest with you. It's like when you're doing a sex scene with somebody, it's like already it's way more awkward to me to have someone standing there holding a bag be like, are you OK? Do you feel OK? It's like they started doing an gynecologist's office.


This was like a year and a half ago. I went to my got ecologist and someone came in for the exam and I was like, I don't want that.


Another strange idea, it was a way less weird when there wasn't. I was like, do you need to now? I'm thinking about it. That's true. You need to be here. Do you need a babysitter now?


Your best gynecologist. Yes. Lovely woman. And someone else comes in and I feel great. Oh, nice. But here's I totally agree with you.


But I'm like, who's who's you're the one the the babysitter is the one that's dealing with the trauma. That's the person being traumatized. You have to watch someone just finger me.


And I'm like and we're just making know. And I'm like, OK, this is OK.


I was like, but also what's she going to do? She even if something went wrong, she's not going to get fired, just like fired. Right. I mean, look, I see both sides.


I agree with you that a lot of things I would say in terms of the intimacy coordinator thing for me, because the hours came on in season three on a sex scene on Hollywood actor, a new thing is that the shows will hire an intimacy coordinator.


So for a sex scene, because that person will talk to both actors that are involved and the director of the episode, they'll have separate meetings with everybody to gauge their comfortability with the new situation to do this totally.


But we're finding, I think in terms of reports, sometimes people sign on, they sign things saying I'm comfortable doing nudity, and then they find themselves in a position where they're not totally comfortable with the coordinator. And I'm making less than the guy that's fucking me.


I mean, look, this is not my soapbox. What I want to say in terms of being on your side is in season three and. Or of glow, their thing would be we have an intimacy coordinator and we'll check in with you and like the joke with me, as they'd always be like, hey, do you want that? And I'd be like, no. Yeah, because I'm with you. I'm like, I don't I trust you guys.


But I can see how. And I know that for some other women on our show, they did feel a lot more comfortable there.


And I'm no, I'm not. But here's a twist that you might not have thought of because I hadn't thought about it. One of the girls was telling me, because then, of course, I was picking their brain to be like, I don't know. I always felt a little responsible as no one like that for the girls on Glow, even though they were like, fuck you, you're not. We're our own women. But I'm like, Mom, I just want to make sure everything's OK so often.


So like in season three, I would check in with some of the women to be like, what was the meeting like with the intimacy coordinator? Did you like it? Do you feel comfortable? And one of the girls was telling me. Yeah, and the cool thing. Well, I think it had both effects. Some of the girls were like, I don't know, it was weird because now we had to talk about everything way more. It almost made it more awkward.


But on the flip side, one of the girls was telling me that she advised her on, like, body positions that maybe make your body look better, like she was sort of like, well, if I'm on top, I don't want my boobs to be, like, flopping weird.


And she'd be like, well, aren't your back more if you're here?


And in a way, that's just a the friend that I just want to there should be doing that.


But if the director is like a man that you don't feel super comfortable with, maybe you'd feel weird if he was like, sweetheart, arch your back. More on your tits will look better. I can see I can see the purpose of having one. I never wanted one.


And no, I did something with Richard Shepard. Jenny Connors guy did girls amazing.


And I was like, I have fake boobs. There's a little pucker, like a little divot. Can you please let me know? And I'm going to look at the footage and just like, let's let's get it right. I don't know. I just.


I'm not. I'm not. I'm not I didn't get picked up for a lot of reasons.


Do you remember when I apologized, made an apology to you after we hung out at Lizzy Caplan?


I do, but. But why? But also because I didn't I, I don't know. I keep bringing this up. I feel like I did text you to apologize for the game night thing. These are our hangouts. Go. We have a blast together. We leave going. That was so far. I should hang out with Whitney more than two days later we go. Except I hope she's not upset about this. And then we text each other and every time the other person is like, I'm not at all like love, you know, like say I was thinking it was great.


What did you apologize for?


Asking me if I had gotten a nose job here at a party? Why? No, I mean, you did. Well, you did ask me if I'd gotten a nice job, but I say I'm so happy I didn't know. Knew what. I was glad you asked so that I could tell, you know, I have it. But my face has gotten thinner as I get older. I think people think I'm getting work, but I'm not I don't think I work.


I'm like I'm just getting older because I know. I want to get better. I want to get better things out of the show, you know, that's not from the bleachers I worry about. I like the bleachers will get better health and that the.


I want to get by.


You better hope it's not a crisis line. So it's not self-help. It is professional counseling done securely online always be more than a Hollywood elitist.


People talking about going to therapy. Anything more? No more. Crystal, what about the. What is always more than Hollywood people talking about going to therapy as if every noise is light, as if everyone has access to it.


Three hundred dollar therapy in the middle of a Tuesday in the middle of a Tuesday.


That's most most like Hollywood celebrities. I know they go to therapy at like four fifteen on a Wednesday in between exercise and table rules Anderson.


Yeah, well, this is you can do from your you can do whatever you want. They're going to match you with a professional licensed therapist.


You can communicate under 48 hours, under 40 hours. You have to wait four weeks to get it. It's like I'm suicidal.


Guys, you get timely and thoughtful responses. Plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. So you want to sit in those uncomfortable waiting when you could have.


You don't need to get a babysitter so you can go to therapy. Now, this is on your time, your time, wherever you can do it for sitting in. Drive after column up, yeah, yeah, come on, your lunch break, that's when you're that's the worst. Do it from nine to 10 a.m. when you're getting ready to do it at 3:00 in the morning before you go to bed. Is it better? Health club?


Whitney that's better. LPI enjoyed the over one billion people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional take it away did.


In fact, so many people have been using better health that they're recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states. Special offer for good for you listeners. Get 10 percent off your first month. It better help. Com slash Whitney.


You know, you have some of migraines as migraines did 15 years, 20 years of my life trying to figure out why I had migraines and nobody's migraines are like it.


Kind of like snowflakes are all very different. Kov did not exist. When I was a kid is really tragic. Yeah, you have to talk to your therapist about it, lot better help therapy. So I did my hair. I did know I I was I would get cluster to my grades. I'd get the paid by my eyeballs. I could see out of my left eye. My arm would go to my leg, would go to. It was a nightmare.


Yeah. And that's how everybody's migrants are. Right. They're all different. So it's like you can't really take sugar. Sometimes it's light exposure. Sometimes it's sudden, sometimes it's stress, it's adrenaline, sometimes it's coffee, sometimes it's not.


So people that suffer from migraines are just like passing around, like maybe information like maybe this will work, maybe this will work.


Sometimes it's you don't have the right prescription for eyes. Sometimes you it at night. I could do this all.


Well, Kove helps you get my pain relief. The migraine relief that you need all online. Yeah. It's great. Yeah. You got a Kove dot dotcom. You complete a quick online consultation and a licensed doctor will recommend your treatment plan, customize your migraines.


I also got these data piercings, but also you can get a they won't do that, but you can also get to just get a prescription delivered to your door for as little as ten dollars a month and work for colds.


Do you think they'd want that?


Yes, I'm quitting the podcast I work for.


Oh, she'll be writing this to be thirteen pages long. Yeah.


You just say to take a few minutes of your time and the plan it all out for you and send it right to your house like that's pretty amazing. Could be from your sinus infection like that. I have got a cough dot com slash wait for fifty percent off your first month of medication with free two day shipping. That's fifty percent off your first month of medication and free free two day shipping with Kodak, twenty with Kove dotcom with kov dot com slash Whitney spelled with Kove of Whitney.


Here's the thing with you that I'm fascinated by, you are a business woman, you think like truly and and here's the thing I'm fascinated by. When a woman wants things and wants to get that money and succeed, they're called ambitious. Sure. And then people go, she's ambitious. And then it's like a nasty word, really.


People really see, I love you. I love you.


Shame, no shame you don't carry the ancestral shame that I carry. Like everyone.


Whitney is so ambitious. Like, I always heard that a lot and I always thought about you. I'm like, she's so ambitious and fucking get it, bitch. Like, I was like rooting like I don't know why, but you're one of the few people that when you would get it, I would be like, you know, instead of being jealous.


That's so nice. I know. Glad. OK, but what did you apologize for. Like I wouldn't get jealous of you. I'd let you use Whitney.


What what did you apologize for? Yes, ma'am. We were at a party.


El-Aziz and you were going to another party.


Oh yeah. Of a produce. This is the same party where you asked if I got a nose job. So I was part of the same conversation that night. I was happy to talk about.


And I, I was you were like go to a party for like a producer and like, yeah. And I, I see you and I regretted it. I know. And I left that. I saw you do something codependent and it triggered me. It wasn't codependent. I saw you doing something out of obligation. Yes. And is that is that codependent because it was out of obligation that I feel like I should do.


You can't talk, but if it's a business move, it was less a business move and more of a like. I feel like this person has shown generosity to me and I should, like, pay it back by going to the party for nothing. It's not generosity.


If I owe you later, I know what it's like. But what if I'm saying I don't know that she feels like there's a scorecard, but I feel like maybe there is and it's the polite thing to do totally. Which is just and then afterwards I was like, I shouldn't have done it. Yeah, no. And I saw it and I got and I got. You were like, why are you going to hang out with, you know, and I wish I had stayed.


And so you were like, I'm going to go to this party and I'm going to come back. And I was like, oh my God, that's so something I would do. That's so some shit I would do. Well, here's the other thing. I had RSVP to that party before I knew about Lizzie's party. I have a feeling if I had known, if I'd been invited, invited to Lizzie's party first, I just wouldn't have gone to that other party at all.


Just do whatever the fuck you. What do you want to do, Addison, if you've RSVP to something, shouldn't you know why not?


No, absolutely not.


I mean I mean, my friend's grandmother who taught me etiquette.


I would be shocked if you changed your mind. I'm like radically into do whatever the fuck you want to do because. Can I. Yeah. Are you here out of obligation? No, I don't trust, you know, I mean, I don't know.


That's my nightmare that someone would come to something because they feel like they have to because they are stupid and they'd rather be somewhere else.


I know. But it's like imagine that if you and I had exchanged your dream.


You don't want to be here. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, my God, no. She's a great actress. Now, you can anything I say, you boxes and box meeting recorder. Good actress. I definitely want to be here. New hypothetical scenario about that party. Imagine if you and I had exchanged three excited emails about me coming to your holiday party and then I got an invite to like a better party and was like, never mind, I'm not going to come.


I'd rather go to Lizzy Caplan's party. That's so rude. You don't have to say all that.


You can just say, hey, I have to be quiet and go kidding. I'm kidding. I would never say oversharing. No, no. Actually, you know, I don't want anything though. Whitney, what about me? Just tell you something. You want anything. First of all, happen. Firstly, I want you to know that our friendship is not happening because you go to parties.


Don't want to go to. Whitney, I want you to know, firstly, that I am in the part of my life where and I find it very freeing where I agree that I do feel like I don't have to give people reasons why I don't do stuff and that I do find freeing. And I always am trying to give that advice to younger people were like, you know, when I was younger, I'd be like, get invited to something.


And then you'd be like, oh, God, even like a friend. And you be like, I'm so sorry, I can't come to your thing because I have my aunt's party. And as if as if they're going to cancel it if you don't or is if they're going to be like so like it was all hinging on this issue in the Senate universe.


Exactly. It's way worse than just being like, I can't make it love you. Have a great night. I just like was looking at you that night and I was just like, this bitch has not done I did not want to go to that thing.


She's done it.


She fucking she's writing movies. She's making movies. She books on jobs like she's like this is it. This is your time to do what you love. Kids like this is your time to be radically selfish. I know this and I usually implement it. And that night I didn't and I did regret it. It triggered me. I'm sorry to apologize.


I apologize. But but because here's what I was doing. I was roasting you with compliments, which is what I do.


I feel like you're doing it to me now, correct? Correct. Oh, but why did you text me to apologize? Because you were giving me a hard time. I was like, what are you doing? Growls Was You don't have to go to the fucking party. Like I was like I wanted you my one of my biggest like. Third rails is when someone doesn't see themselves the way I see them, sure. Or they don't see themselves the way everyone else sees them.


Why do you feel like you have to take that on?


Oh, well, I trust me. We all know we all know why that I don't want to be fuckin broken record bad childhood, but. I felt like I left, I felt like I felt like I had to go on myself and I felt so.


Like Shamy afterwards, because I I felt guilty because I felt like I was shaming you. Oh, no. When I was when I was 14, you were like, not wrong.


I was bullying you to stay. And your friend Julie. Juliana, Juliana was with you. She wasn't with me yet. I brought her when I catch. Right. And then you were like, my friend wants to go.


And I was like, oh, well, bringing up so much for me. OK, but that's different. That's like a close friend. And if she's having a thing then I want to go, you know, that's different. That I think is being a good friend.


No, I'm not about to like not leave a party if like my best friend. And we're both right. We're both we're both right. OK, we're both right. And yet only one of us is raising our voice.


So I have this is just how I sound. I just yell. I just honestly, I'm so loud to Dave all the time is like that.


You're yelling at me. I'm like, this is just the volume of my voice. Honey, you've married into this. It's too late. I feel like there's something so interesting about you is that you're like. It doesn't it hurts me to say this I'm jealous, you're the most like fun, like I've been to weddings with you.


She tells it on the dance floor, love to dance, tells it in the speech. Everyone's best great at speaking, but I have fun while you are. Kill it, kill it can get along with anyone. I do feel like I saw a movie that you were in with Lizzy Caplan. Yeah.


And I remember being like, why does she get type. Why did she cast is like bitchy.


Like like uptight. Yeah, because I don't see you that way at all. No, but you know, if you might be uptight as a business woman and that's a good thing, I don't know if I am.


What what does that mean together on it. Why is that. Why why would that be pejorative? I don't know. I guess I feel like in terms of the roles, like I do think for some actors, it's like I don't know. I feel like there are some roles that I can click in to really easily, even though they're different from me. I'm like, oh, it's like someone I know well. And I just it's easy. And I must have like a bitchy looking face or something where people just think you're beautiful.


Like, I like Queen, but I mean, I have that side of me. It's just like very low key. But, you know, when it comes out as like you, I realized recently because I've been doing press, but it's not it hasn't been happening on this. And I was thinking I was relieved because I feel like it'll click in when I'm doing press for something, and that's when I'm very like straight-A student, even though I was not that I was never like a straight-A student, which people wouldn't believe about me.


I was like, no, I buy it, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like I was just like, you're in the world where the raeanne. No, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, just in between. I was like having fun and drama. I was like cutting off all my hair sometimes and then being like, never mind. I was like, really good. I always had an A in English class, but I didn't read the books, but I was like, good at bullshitting, like what they were about.


I was touring once with a one, Donald Glover, when he was a comedian, stand up comedian and a one night croll and one Chelsea Peretti. And while doing college, what a group. I know we were doing colleges for axe body spray.


It was like a tour. I mean twenty three, twenty four on a bus together.


And while Donna Lover was obviously writing music, but he had a website with like furniture, remember when he had like a website that was like with furniture for like things he liked. It was like a style website like this.


He was just I don't know if I do remember that he was making he had a website that was like the tabs were like sex music, photos like just photos of like velvet couches, photos of like whiskey. I've blocked it out. These community was, you know. Yeah, you're my darkest blackout drunk days.


So I've killed a lot of braincells there, but I've always been, like, hyper sexualized and like I was just like a pervy kid. Yeah. Like even though but like, I'm realizing more now in my adult life, like it was more on a superficial level than I even realized. Like now I'll talk to friends about like I never was like masturbating.


So in middle school, the library had two rooms that you could reserve during, like recess and lunch to do to do work, I guess. And they were clear, like clear glass.


So I know the story. I think all of you to tell it. I think about me tell you, I just want you know, I think about the story like a couple of times a month.


So I would reserve the room very responsible, reserve it for a certain day, and then I would invite some boys and girls to come in and put on like TLC. And then we'd like slow dance grind with each other. And after doing it, like twice, they were like, you can't reserve this anymore. I was like, well, middle school are like eleven, twelve. I mean, this is a wild. I just like dancing. Keith, what's your connection?


They're not the Nexium clan is I like dancing or just sort of nymphet.


I just like dancing and I like being close with people. Yeah. You know, I watch the part of the reason.


There's so many reasons I love the rentals and we need to talk about your husband in a second. But the rental, each show, you do everything in it, whether you go. Thank you. It was like you're funny in it, you're uptight in it, you're on ecstasy in it. I've never done ecstasy. Oh really weird.


Yeah, it's great. But I'll save it at this point now in my life because the last time I did it was to prepare for that movie. Yeah. And it was like Dave and I being like we haven't done it in eight years since we like met each other. And like, let's do it again, and I won't tell the story because I actually feel like I've just been telling it a ton. Yeah, there's but but the the hangover, like, lately, I've been much like a mushroom.


Yeah, I did LSD when I was 13 and then I tried to micro doing that. So that's made sure it didn't go well. It didn't go I'm not sure it was, I was alone and it was like I was trying to be cool with like my sister and her friends and they like just I was like, oh what a what a drug to do.


And then I was alone and I was so neurotic. But I try to do drugs. I try to do mushrooms like a couple weeks ago and it just didn't take it into anything. I'm too I'm such a workaholic that I'm like, I have to schedule my drug use.


I do. Yeah, I do that too, you know, except during this quarantine where I've just been like it's been like my quarantine of mushrooms because I'm like I'm going to write a script.


Like I'm going into it with the intention of like I need a break. A story. Sure.


What is it? OK, so what's going to what do you want that you don't have?


Like you had like you want all the o'war you're going to get but you're going to get the award like that's fully happening. I mean, no, I mean, I try to change my mindset since my cross with being nominated for awards to to get my head out of ever wanting that kind of stuff.


But I guess I just want to do fucked up. It's a wild thing. Yeah. All that stuff is so weird. And I think that as like when you're coming up in your career, it's like such an end all be all where you're like, that's the thing.


Would you want to beat Meryl Streep? I mean, yeah.


I mean I mean, I don't not want that except preparing the speech would terrify me. I'm so co-dependent. Like, I wouldn't want to win. Like, it's just like I, I want to be like it makes me shake even thinking about I would like you then like saying you want to beat Sandra. Oh yeah. But it's not like you can't be friends with someone if you beat them at an awards show. I yeah that's true. But we're but actors act.


I mean are they acting.


I don't think of it that way. I just am like I don't Merrills fine.


I don't think everyone people beat Meryl at the Oscars and she's like criss-Cross that bitch off my list. But it's also so. So she played my mom in the post. Yeah. So we acted together and, you know, so I would like to think that she wouldn't hate me.


Was Meryl Streep scary?


She wasn't scary, but like the idea around her, like being in a movie with her was a little bit scary. Like actually I was not that scared of it. But like, there definitely were some people working on the movie who would be like, you're about to work with a legend today. Are you ready? And I'd be like, I mean, I thought I was like, why are you saying that?


To be scared to work with bad actors? Because then you're working. Well, that's what I was going say. Actually, I was really excited because I was like, I'm just going to try to suck it all up like. Yeah. And see, are there any tricks I can steal from Meryl and just listen and react? I just want to know my shit. Like I've never been more prepared for anything.


You have a strategy for your social media, the.


I don't know. No I guess no big no has.


I think that I think that there's this thing now where. Actors and part of the reason you're so compelling in your talent is able to speak for itself is because I don't and most people don't know that much about you.


Well, I guess that's the one strategy, right? I don't like oversharing or over posting. And Dave's real private, so I don't I feel like that's actually very helpful. He doesn't. He's not.


Dave, we made Dave meet on tubercles. Really? Yes, he came to our girl's funeral. What do you do? You didn't get the part? No, he didn't audition. He met.


He was meeting only I think he was off only worse. I think he was for only and he paid based on the.


Oh, God. I was like based on the meeting. He didn't get it. You know what? That this is the end for us.


He was just such a charming like I feel like you guys are like the next Will and Jada. He's a weight that's probably like well, minus the entanglement. Sorry, I like to think of us as the next Harry Steenbergen and Ted Danson. OK, ok.


Minus the blackface. Look, look, there's there's there's controversy everywhere. It can't be avoided.


I just worked with Mary unhappiest season and she is the loveliest, loveliest person I've ever met.


And seeing the two of them together, I was just like, oh yes, yes, I watched it, loved it, watched it. Not only that, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this. I watched it face time, Dan Levy, and he watched it through my face time because I had an advanced screener and he hadn't seen it.


See that? So you got to see it for the first time. I mean, not the best way for him to see it for the first time. But I like that you did that. I love it. I think it turned out great.


It's so it was scrumptious. Yeah.


It's a scrumptious movie. And it was weird because at first I was like, what I have to watch, like, is a lesbian, like I might still and then I forgot it was about lesbians. It was just about me. It was about everyone's family. Oh, totally. I think it's much more about family. I mean, I want to say I think a headline because it is the first, you know, studio backed holiday rom com that stars a gay couple, that features a gay couple, that it becomes the headline.


But like I think the movie is like an amazing holiday movie about a family where everyone's flawed and everyone needs to learn to go to good movies. That line, I mean, even better, like, I was just like, why are you guys making that? That is a lesbian movie. Like like it just feels like it's I think that made me go like, oh, are you going to, like, preach to me? I'm already on your team.


And then it wasn't I love it because it felt like Notting Hill to me. Oh great.


I was like although I was like this is like the next Notting Hill, like, scrumptious, yummy. I love every character, every character in this movie. I have a family member that's like them. That's my sister. That's my mom. That's my aunt that's happened to me.


We've all like totally. And I also feel like I should say that as much as I love Notting Hill and I've I've been watching it for years, I think it's the most exciting we ever made.


But that's another. Well, watching you recently, not even sexist, but I was like, yeah, it's a tricky one. The message is a little strange throughout the movie where it's like she's famous, so she's better than you, but also not movies jobs to send the right message. You're right. I truly don't think people go to movies for value education.


No, I agree. But at the same time, when you watch it back, aren't you a little bit like you might hate her character? I'm sorry. I just watched mine Hunter and loved it. I watched the Ted Bundy tapes. Why would a couple is why when it comes to comedies, do we watch?


Everyone has to be likable. This is what I'm obsessed with. I'm obsessed with now. Everyone wants like like on Earth, like problematic movies like Friends was the.


I'm sure it's so funny because you're so in inside this with me that it's like we know the people who write and direct these movies. Yeah. They're all insecure people that are just trying to get approval from their parents that didn't give them enough love. So they're writing these fake stories that they've never experienced either the fantasy they want because they just want to get a movie made with Katherine Heigl. WETHERSPOON Sure. And it's absolutely unrealistic because they've never been they were dorks in high school that didn't get love.


And then people are going fuck you guys for creating these impossible standards like, well, but they don't. It's creativity.


It's coming from everybody's individual brains and let it be about various shakes.


What I will say, just to bring it back to happy season, what I find to be so great about it is that it has all that scrumptious, like holiday fun visually, just like it's like drinking hot cider.


But also but also like the performances are great. Like I like obviously Kristen Stewart's amazing and Mackenzie Davis.


You're like you're like this is this is what I like.


I forgot Kristen Stewart was Kristen Stewart, which is very hard, very hard to do.


Did did you forget I was me? I it's this is why I think that I because I was watching promising young woman, which I do want to discuss. I heard I yelled at me and Leslie hadn't screamed about it this morning. It's cool.


It's I need to watch it again. It's like one of those things I want to watch a couple of times. Yeah.


It's really hard for me because I'm like when I watch my friends acting, I'm like, do I. Are you a better actor because I know you are. Or a worse act like.




Or are you so good that you're overcoming the fact that I know you like mindfuck. I like this.


You are so fucking good at it.


Thank you. It is such a fun part. I hate when actresses say they say that.


Don't say that. Why. It is a fun part.


It's I got to be like kind of like you do so and so hard what you did in what way because. You had to be because you got to keep her redeemable in the end, don't even like that. What does that mean? You had to, like, be in, like, this kind of high strung full of shit, super smart girl that made a mistake, that was carrying guilt. Like I had to feel that you were guilty.


Yeah, I do feel that you were faking. It was all subtext.


Thank you all. This is a great compliment. Yeah. No, I know why. Finally, we got to it. It was like I was just like, dude, I, I'm buying it. I felt that way.


I buy this shit and it's so hard, it's so easy to put too much icing on the fucking cake with a part like that and then it gets cartoonish.


Well, you know, I think it was helpful, like is the character that had a secret and she, you know.


Well, but also just like that kind of it was an interesting year in terms of like the order in which I shot all these movies that have now all come out this year. Yeah, yeah.


You you you might do too many movies. The most movies I've ever done. I did last year. And now twenty twenty has been like my big career year. I'm like, they're all good. The world is on fire this year, so more people are watching movies than ever. But it's like yours. But it's like I don't know why I'm not sick of you. It's weird. Well, the movies are all very different.


Like the genres are different. And also I don't have I'm not like the big part. Yeah. In most of them. So fucking thank you. Well, I was going to say that the rental was the first of these movies that got shot. Right. So I shot the rental a month later.


I shot a really nice girl.


I guess actually maybe promising young woman was the first thing I shot. That little part was emotional, like the doctor promising young women. First of all, she was super pregnant while we were shooting, which already. I was just like, oh yes. I was just like so impressed by her while she was just so great. She was succinct in her notes. She was complimentary. She was like all the things she was commanding in a way that I was like, I trust you.


And like, I'll do whatever you say. But you're not saying too much to me. Which terrible mulligan from.


Oh, really? What would I have? I mean, she's friends with our friends at the Little Italy wedding we went to. That's right.


No, I don't know if we even met that weekend. Yeah, that's what's weird. Mean, you know, always gets a little weird. Yeah. No, I didn't know her so that was good. Well we have yeah. Obviously mutual friends so it's lovely to her.


What you have, what you did. You did it dude.


Like I knew you, I knew you when you were just like a scrappy bitch, like testing for community and knowing how somebody got like I remember it happening. I remember it's like breathe, breathe, breathe.


And then all of a sudden you remember it because we had a lot of mutual some mutual friends. Even then, I feel like that's why we're on each other. And then I was like, this bitch is just going and going. And then like two years ago, we're at Jessica Alba house and you're like, I'm thinking about writing this movie about this girl and a horse.


And I'm like, here we go. I just want to write a movie. And I'm like, I have to talk about horses for two hours with her and nothing's ever gonna come. You love to talk to me.


And then like eight months later, it's like at Sundance I was like, this bitch. That's crazy. Well, that's a Jeff Beina thing. I feel like I don't want to give the credit away because, like, I'm a woman and like, fuck, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, Bain is a great partner because it's true. He really is like a force in terms of just like keeping something moving.


You, Jeff, no one knows who you are. So we're not going to talk about you too much. Sorry. Well I mean I'm just saying though, he really was like at moments where I'd be like we wrote this thing, but maybe I, I might be able to do the southern part in this movie. So we should put that on the back burner because who knows if I'll ever get it made. He'll be like, no, we got to commit.


We're going to shoot it in June. Just tell your agents that. Yeah. And then we'll just like, make it happen.


I was like, OK, what do you want that you don't have? I mean, I just the the thing is that don't you realize that the more that we work, there's not ever a you made it like that's like then you're like what's tomorrow. I got to keep making it to make a million. Not enough. So it's like I think at this point I actually feel like I had a moment of like, oh. You got close to some things, but maybe you're never going to get like all the things and that's OK because you just want to do good work and making your work.


And that's the thing I want. Yeah, you don't like doing, Cordelia. You wrote a couple movies. I want to make those like you like, love what you did. Yes.


Yes. That's what it is like. You don't have a you also are you also really are good with people. Thank you. I actually agree. I know I feel good. I actually agree. My fans. I know. I feel like you can get along with anyone, which is part of the reason why I think you're going to take over the world because like I quarantine, I'm driving so hard in quarantine because, like, exchanges with people is are so exhausting to me.


It's so hard for be sure you're so easy to get along with.


Oh, I just like I shouldn't have said that that was stupid. Is this person mad at me? Like the amount of bandwidth that's taken up just by like dealing with people is exhausting to be sure.


But I like people I know I like. But but I think I think we're that's shifted is like I think directing has helped me realize that this is a good. Why do you think mine. I guess in TV. In TV. I always wanted to direct because I've worked in TV for a long time. I worked on these three shows and community I always like wanted to direct. I think just because I saw other actors directing on TV, I was like, and also once you're working on a show for so many years, you're like, I could direct an episode of this show, like, how hard is that to literally like where you're a little bit like direct.


It's like I could just let me do it. I was like, I feel like I did anything here. Yeah.


But then I did it and it was like crack a little bit where it was like one pick your takes. And not just that, it's like it's like selfishly fun to like discover a new skill. Like it is fun to go, oh fuck. I might like I'm kind of good at this. Yeah. I'm a little high off it just knowing that I do what I was good at. It's like I just, I don't know, I'm hot take like I also think like women shouldn't have to direct if they don't want to.


Well of course the thing now that's like every actress is like has to direct. It's like you don't have to like no, no, no, no, no.


I'm saying it's like you're born to do it.


I love it. And I've, and I so I also just directed I just feel like we feel pressure to have to direct because of this.


No such thing. I agree. Which is like now you're I thought the old me too is don't do anything you don't want. And I feel like I'm being forced to direct and I don't want to know. I agree. I had a moment to of being like of having like a weird identity moment where, like, my character on Glow is like supposed to not be a very good actress. And then it's like she's excelling in directing. And then I was going to direct an episode and then I had a moment of being like, is it because the universe is telling me that I should like not a good actress, but like, actually my passion is still more in acting than directing.


But I like directing, but like, I'm not yet at the point where, like, I would take a directing job over a cool acting job, whereas like Dave might be hovering on that point, like he excelled so much, directing and loved it. I was like, I think I like that better. I actually you I used to be a very like it's not the director, it's the DP. Like once I like once I directed a movie, I was like, oh, this is all the DP and all budget.


And then when I watched the rental, I was like, holy shit.


I mean, like he's a good he's like on some new shit.


If you think I'm type in a hard worker, like, yeah, Dave makes me look just like a chill stoner.


Why, if he makes some choices that were just and I and I know that it's like hard to articulate why a movie is good, but to watch a movie with a bunch people that I know and I know the director and it's like not well but like I it was the choice is there is this one scene.


Yeah. What scene. Spoiler alert to say it when it came out in June where the dead guy on the side of a fucking cliff and they can't get him down and they throw a rock and it hits his head and just like. Like who. Like what.


It's so funny but it's like such a dark moment. The funniest dark like I literally was like this motherfucker. Like it was so surprising and so like ballsy and it was cool. Shocking. It was cool. Dave was so specific as a director like crazy. It was it was a little I don't want to exaggerate.


I really hate exaggerating. And I, I wanted to like there were some Neil Boodhoo vibes. Yeah. Who is easily like my favorite playwrite amazing. And there were kind I even wrote stuff down and there were some carnal knowledge vibes in there.


Oh OK. Made your way. OK, we're just going to watch this. Really seemingly mundane things happen with a tremendous amount of tension, almost like the gas Barnabei like irreversible.


There will never forget when I watched that movie and then it was it was so long ago and my boyfriend at the time, like we went back to his apartment, I was like, we cannot have sex tonight or for a while. And he was like, for a bit, we're going to take the circle back. He was like, Are you OK? I was like, No, no. It changed the way that I saw. I mean, he changed my relationship to, like, time and space, like that movie, as traumatic as it is to watch.


But yeah, I was unbelievably impressed.


And I don't like scary movies. They yeah. I don't like magic and I don't like scary movie. I don't understand why I like magic at all. Annoys me that I don't know how it's happening.


It just frustrates me. I have to pee now.


OK, I knew when I heard that you don't want children.


I knew we were going to talk about this and I'm so glad we don't have to know. You know what? It's it's I do want to talk about it because it's something that normally I'm annoyed to, like, so annoying. I have a journey. The words I have, like, such complicated feelings just about even the idea of talking about this, but not complicated feelings about not having children. Does that make sense? Yes. So on the one hand, like like I'm asking it, what a dickhead, what was going to say?


There's the classic, like, you know, Dave and I are doing press to get like for the rental and we're doing the same interviews with the same people like him half an hour before me. And they'll ask me, but not him. You know, there's that classic thing where I'm like, well, we're in a marriage together. Like, Do you want the same thing? I don't know. I guess would be weird thing to ask a guy, but it's like asking a married couple, oh, you guys are married.


Why wouldn't you ask the guy? Are you guys going to have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That does it to me. I think that's I don't like that. But they were like I know they know people are interested. They know that's what's OK. Here's the real mixed thing is that part of me is like it shouldn't be a big deal that I don't want them. So why is it something I can ask about too much? And then on the other hand, I'm like, well, I guess there have been some women who have like that I like in person have been like, oh, I think it's great you don't want to have kids.


Like to me, it's been such a stigma and it's really refreshing to hear you talk about it. And then I go like, oh, good, I should talk about it. But then there's also been, I think in my journey of you all told me anything. No, totally. In my journey of talking about it, there's also been those funny things were like, for example, the first time I talked about it, it was one of those classic things where I it's not like I was planning on.


I mean, I've never wanted kids, but it was not one of those things where I was like, I'm going to drop it. It's now I'm coming clean about like not wanting kids. So I offhandedly in an interview I had been. So do you ever do interviews where, you know, they're going to ask about something dicey? So you're like, you know, get asked to do the stuff.


They don't bother with me. Well, I was doing some interviews and it was just a time where there was there were things going on. There were like things I definitely didn't want to talk about. So my guard was up for those things, like throughout the whole interview. And then at the so I think even she could tell because she kept trying to corner me and I was just kind of skirting it. And then offhandedly at the very end of the interview, she was like, well, like, what's up with you and Dave?


Like, do you want to do you think you guys are going to have kids? And I was like, no, seems like a lot of work, like as a joke. Can I tell you something really quick? The fact that you're doing you know, we don't get paid for, by the way. Right. The fact that you are going into an interview with someone who's trying to get job, I mean, we're not getting, like, all those annoying fucking interviews that on access we don't get paid to do press.


Yeah. So it costs us money to do press because you have to pay for the stylist, the makeup artist. This is the shit that I don't understand why people are talking about this shit. Well, what bothers me is when for the last thirty seconds of an interview I go like not really seems like a lot of work and we laugh and I leave. And then the headline is like, Alessandri opens up about not wanting to have kids, lams kids.


And I'm getting texts from my mom because I've always cared about the same.


I'm always I'm always like kids seem like a lot of work. I don't think I mean, I was just making a joke.


First of all, that's not like if you were really delving into like.


So the reason you want to have kids, I mean, that's not not like just curious because I'm like at this, I'm just like I'm. Yeah. Inspired and fact. No, you're not brave. I'm not. No, no, no.


Oh my God. No, I don't think I am. I feel like honestly the other side of it is I've been like, well, it's not something that defines me. And then this year, even two days ago to Dave, I was like, I guess it does kind of define me because everyone I know is pregnant currently. I'm like, I mean, honey, if we wanted to have kids like this would have been the year we would have done it.


Like I mean, we don't make you a movie. I know moms are going to come at me for this, but like, it's kind of a similar experience. It's nine months.


Of hell, and then you sure this thing out in the world and like it's you don't sleep for six months reading the reviews and doing the you know, it's like a very I haven't really experienced that, but that's certainly what it was like for Dave with all the rental.


And I was like, no, I mean, like because I didn't direct it. So I was like a whole different thing to witness. Like, oh, wow. This journey, like it is so intense on making a movie is just, you know.


Yeah, sure. I think it's like I think this is why it's funny for me to talk about it, because there's not like what's the stance? The stance is like, I don't know. I never really wanted to. I've just never wanted to and I still don't. And that's like such like why do we have to mythologize it. But what's more interesting to me is that you found someone that had the same point of view.


It's insane. And trust me, I check in constantly because I'm like, oh, someone's lying, someone's lying to the other person. And it's going to secretly go, what the fuck?


I thought I thought we were just saying that because we were saying it. I know I check in constantly. Two nights ago I was like, babe, you really you really don't want to have kids. And I asked it in that way. And he goes, What now? Suddenly you want to have kids? I was like, No, I don't have kids. I'm sure you want to have kids. He's like, I don't want to. I was like, great.


So we check in with each other every time, especially lately is like in the past couple of years as friends of ours are starting to have kids. Yeah. So then we go and there are those moments of like I'm looking at my husband like rock a baby and it's adorable and I'm like, nothing.


Yeah, I feel OK. And then we leave it. I'm like, how did that make you feel? Are things moving and shifting?


You know, are they with you? I'm like green eggs. Nope. Put it all. I'm not kidding, no, I'm not bluffing. Somebody was like, you should freeze your eggs. I was like, why would I do that if I don't want to have children? Yeah, it seems like a lot of work for something that I probably don't want to do.


Right. I yeah, I get the boating license.


I don't have a boat, but it's like you're like. I know. I trust me. That's the other thing. I get a little nervous about talking about it in this way.


And then in three years I'm going to be like, what if I want to have them now? And everyone's going to be like, what? Because we were the face of not having kids.


You know, you're having we've been so trained to believe that we're going to come to our senses or we're going to change our minds. Yeah, mine happened when my dad died. I was like not having kids, but mine was more like, I don't want to, like, keep duplicating these genetics.


Like, I don't want to like I wanted to lose the life that might be part of my thing.


The line stops here. I don't I don't I don't wish this on anyone.


Sure. Sure, sure, sure. Yes. Like like stop the bleeding. Yeah. And then my dad died in some primordial like.


Yeah. Like I got a Yeah. McLernon those. But for me it's my deal is I want to have a kid with the right person and I don't want to have a kid with the wrong person. So I'm like well I just don't to fuck with somebody that's wack. I mean, trust me, I think about that factor because my parents have been divorced since I was five. But like they said, they have to celebrate every holiday together with each other forever.


Yeah, like and I was just like I would like to think that Dave and I will be together forever. So it's like really not that's not the headline with Dave specifically, but like, I'm sure just in life in general, it's informed part of that for me where I'm like, whoof, then it's a lot. You're really connected. It's like much deeper than being married to someone is having a child. You never run out of shit to talk about.


Yeah, I mean, not me. I talk constantly. He's always like, he'll be not talking. And I'm like, I thought of five more things to say. Like, OK, I'm like I'm just so fascinated by like how like I remember there was some story I think you told me about how you guys were like in oh, I like are like out of on a vacation or something. I was like. God, like, I just I, I, I love being in a relationship, I love being in love, but there are times where I just like need a fucking, like, three days off.




Well, I mean, because I'm like I don't I feel pressure to entertain you like. Yeah.


Well, did that mean like the door slam. Was that what was that like.


There's a lot of like yeah I guys you just coexist. Yeah. Yeah. You can walk by each other down the hallway and there's no like you go yeah yeah yeah you walk but there's all the I mean. I mean, walk by each other in the hall, like so funny. I don't know, without saying a word, you know. What does it about? I don't know. I try to like visually picture is like if you're passing each other in the hallway, I probably like, give them a little kiss or so that they grab him.


I don't know a the high five. I don't think we would ever see each other not say any.


I don't understand. Couples are so weird to me.


It's so weird that you're just in the same house like doing things and not like yeah. Yeah that's how do you it's hard for me to be in a relationship with somebody and not be thinking about them constantly if they're like. Yeah.


I mean we're able to not think about each other constantly.


I think like you, we're able to do that. And then also there are some times where I'll be like. Honey, two hours ago, I felt like you said this thing to me weird did you and he's like, No, I didn't mean to say it weird. Yeah, no you're not like therapy now. Yeah, but but Dave is such a healthy person. I know. It's I used to have trouble. I used to be so healthy.


It's it's insane. I like on every level I'm like, you never like drink too much. I don't get it. I was like, you know, I drink the perfect amount until I feel the way I want to feel. It makes me watch Normy. Yeah. And he had a very healthy upbringing to great mom and dad and like but like with communication, I've gotten so much better at it being with him, even though it's not like he's the greatest communicator because he's so like such a safe person.


Yeah, like I used to be much more passive aggressive because that's what I saw. Like, my mother do have, like, no, nothing's wrong.


And then question two weeks later being like, my question is like, ah, is it me or is it you, me with you. So it's like I recently moved out to like the middle of nowhere. Yeah. And I was like, oh, about as crazy as I thought I was.


I was just in like a rigamarole and it was like adrenalized ing me and making me manic. And there are times I was like, was I crazy in that relationship or was just you brought it out.


It's like, yeah, he brings out the best version of you. Yeah, he really does. And I think about that too. With exes. We all go through people and be like, well, because, you know, with an ex you'll go through a phase where you're like, it was all them.


Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like as soon as they're out, which I think is a healthy thing, depending if it's like you should be getting out of that to do it your relationship and you need that thing to sort of separate you. And then years go by and you're like and also I did this and then I feel like I landed a happy medium of like, well, we just kind of weren't that compatible with each other. And we're not bringing out the good parts of each other.


Like, I feel like you don't have any enemies.


Oh, I bet I have a couple, like I just feel like you don't have any beef, like there's no there's a couple of people have beef with me, but I don't know.


I don't know why, but I'm sure they do. Yeah, well, that's their problem.


Yeah, I maybe I used to have some beef with people but I don't even project onto you. Well I just said this is what you're saying. I separate myself from people that I feel like I don't like. So then I don't have beef with them because I don't interact or that you know, how to just keep. I'm like, oh, that I don't want that person in my life.


If someone's going to I'm the opposite of someone is like toxic or I go entrenched with that person to get their approval shape shift and become their soulmate. Yeah. So that they can't hurt you. And then it's just rat fuck shit. I don't do that. No, no, no, that doesn't sound good and I don't like that. I don't recommend it. I do, I don't try this at all like that.


You're very good at like bobbing and weaving. Sure. Avoiding toxic shit. I am like a moth to a flame with toxic people. Yeah. I'm trying like mentally trying to go through my mind to be like, is there any work story where I like really couldn't work with a person. But I don't know if there really is.


I mean, there's like one director of an indie movie that I know I was really hard on. And when I think back about it, I'm like, I was kind of a bitch to him, but it's because I felt like he didn't know what he was doing and he was like a kid and he hadn't directed anything. His parents had a lot of money.


You know, I was like the lead of the movie. And I'm like and I got real nervous.


So I had to be like, no, you need to do the job better. Yes. And then he would pull me aside.


But he was so because no one cares about I, I like the poster when someone's very meek then sometimes I am a little like, yes, don't be so meek.


Like I need you to be stronger, especially if you're directing me, you know what I mean.


So I felt like I was into that. Yeah. That it's like and also you were number one on the call sheet and everything was that into it.


And it was already like a weird movie, like I'm taking a risk and doing this weird thing, but I think it could be cool. Wait a minute. I don't trust you at all. Like, I don't hold it. Yeah, I'm scared. And you're not being in charge enough.


Yeah, but then that's something where I'm like I still try to learn more about that. We're like I don't like being like that.


So I got to I think you had to do that in the moment. It did feel like I had to be that way. And now I wonder, is there a way I could have done it that might have been a bill kind or. No, I don't think so. It's like I remember one time I had to fire someone. Yeah. And I could not do it. I like firing people is just I agree with my nightmare. I had to fire someone I hate.


And then finally someone phrase it to me in a way that I could understand what he was like. This is going to help them.


Yes, they're going to learn. Sure.


I think that's how I felt with that person where he would try to take me aside and he's shaking. And he would be so nervous and be like, I just don't appreciate the way you're speaking to me in front of the crew. And I would say, you need to hear me speak like this to you. You should be speaking like this to me. To me, I feel like I need this from you. You have to raise your voice like you need to be louder.


I'm sure you make me nervous that I don't know if you're because you believe in your choices jumping off cliffs and you're like, I saw something that I loved some and a little bit, though.


No, but you were scared. Every every anger's always fear. Sadness, right? Oh, totally unhappiness. I've been around some people that I'm like, that's if I think about beef from like ten years ago where people that in my mind I thought I hated. Yeah. For a while. And now I'll be like, I don't hate that person. They were so unhappy when I was working with them. They were like they hated their body. They were jealous of me because of this or even not even about me.


It wasn't about me at all. It was just like they were unhappy with this, this and this. And I can see it from afar. And I feel for them that they felt that way. But it sucks that they made everybody around the miserable. But I forgive them like I get it. Yeah, that's so I just get I get so fascinated by that shit of like. Yeah. Our ability to tolerate the discomfort of others. Yeah.


And like how like I. Like, I'm kind of taking a break from, like TV and all that stuff, because it's just it's it's watching. It just I don't watch a ton of TV.


Oh, I really I know I'm that bad hipster. And they're trying not to also, like, write or be in working in TV. Like, I just it's just like such a the business is changing so quickly. And I think that I've been so rode hard and put away wet by this business. Like this machine. Yeah. And I there was so much sick shit going on with me in this business of like, daddy, daddy. Love me.


Love me. Sure.


And the approval seeking and the.


Like when you're writing a show or running a show or directing a movie, like you're not being in your business, it's all you're you're especially running a show.


Do you think you're running you're an accountant? Yeah. And it's like all you're doing is giving people bad news. All you're doing is telling people that managing all you're doing is telling people they have to stay late. All you're doing is telling people they're wrong.


It's like you're the bad guy. Yeah. And all I wanted was love. All I wanted was like I did this because I want to, like, entertain people and make people laugh. And now everybody hates me and I want to, you know what I mean? Yeah. I just it's like I have a very low tolerance for that. Yeah.


Interesting. And I like it. I'm like and I'm trying to like produce more TV. I'm like trying to put myself in a position to do that, but I haven't done it yet. Just don't just I think the thing is with TV is like just don't involve a lot of people should do it as much. Right. And like but how don't you. My thing is hire the best person, let them do their job. Yeah. Like keep your circle small.


Yeah. Yeah. Good advice. It's like does that make sense.


Don't I'm not encouraging not employing people but it's just like there's too many. We all recreate our childhood circumstances when we get in this hierarchy, like when there's an authority figure, everyone you turn it, everyone's mom, everyone's alcoholic, dad, whatever.


And then it just turns into this projection festival.


And then it's just like by the time you get on camera, you're just like, oh, like by the time I leave the makeup room, like Zoe Lister Jones and I talk to direct something and then act in it or to show, run and then act in it.


I can't imagine that sounds like but also like there's also a little bit of like a lot to do. No one else can do this. No one else can do it. Right. You have to write it and directed at like no and star in it and star in it and no one else is qualified. Like, so let them I have to just like look at myself and go like, OK, am I being an addict to my mother, martyring, micromanaging, am I trying to, like, prove something like.


Yeah, I would. Yeah, yeah. I get torn. It depends on the project.


But my thing now is.


I don't want to do things to take a long time to make yeah, I don't like unnecessary Byzantine steps of like the notes and the do when and like, there's unfortunately, there's a lot of fake jobs.


And I'm not I'm not advocating to get rid of jobs, but there's a lot of jobs that are like you realize now with the Internet and Instagram and Google that are like a little fake, you know.


Well, also, I think the goal for me, too, is like trying to have the best work experience, which was like not as high of a priority. When you're younger, you just want to work on everything.


You're like, maybe I'm going to be a little miserable, but it's a cool project, you know? And now I'm like, no, no one should be miserable what that's like. So, yeah, in terms of like getting to pick, like, that's the impetus to be a little bit more in control, right. Is to get to pick the people that are going to be on the thing to hopefully have.


Did you have a honeymoon experience. Oh yeah. I mean, you know, we did such a low key. We did a super low key wedding at our house with just our parents and our siblings. You said on another podcast, oh, sorry, I didn't know that I had to repeat yourself. So then we had it. We had like a three night honeymoon, I guess, at like the very next day at San Ysidro Ranch.


I love that place, so it was just sort of like just low key, we just, like, went out of town for the weekend.


So my main problem with you is the cat thing. But like, why why does it have to be A versus why does it have to be a thing?


It's it seems like there's been so many obstacles in our imminent friendship. And it was like my shame about you being uncool or shows.


And I was on and that's like and then I like cats and you like dogs like but I also like dogs. Have you not noticed how I'm interacting with you?


You're also a very good actress. So I don't know. I would never fake being kind to your dogs.


What kind of monster do I mean? I definitely could, but like, I want to kind of get the same monster. The actresses are my nightmare.


I'm I'm like I'm always, like, flattered that you think I'm that good of an actress, that I would be that crazy to do that. But like, I genuinely enjoy other people's dogs most of the time. And I had a dog. We had a dog and cats growing up.


And I'm just more of a cat person, and this is also more of a Dave thing, too, like I went through a phase pre Dave where I was like, I don't want to get married and I don't want to have kids and I don't have pets and I don't have a plant. Just get all the shit out of my way. I don't want any of it. I don't want any responsibility. I want none of it. And then I met Dave and he was like, I have two eight year old cats.


I was like, great, great. Move him into my house. Yep. It's it's a hassle until you're on your own. I mean, yeah. But also I had grown up with cats and I've always been like a cat person. We had I mean, cats. What is it. When I was in college my roommate had a cat, we had a cat in our dorm room. Yeah, like I know it sounds gross, and maybe I was, but I loved that guy I loved and his name was Yaama.


Yeah, probably kind of is, but our dorm rooms were actually pretty sizable. And we had at Cal Arts, it was like to like pretty big dorm rooms, shared a bathroom. So like the cat had free reign of like pretty much those two rooms in the bathroom. So it was like a bigger pretty good deal. When you get mad, do you get mad about anything?


Oh, yeah, but I've always been more of like like let's work this out. No, I was going to say like as a kid, more than getting mad, I was like the crying kid.


Like I would more just be like that hurt my feelings.


Like I feel like I'm still the same like a different categories I guess. Like with Dave, if I'm upset about something, it's going to be like more emotional. And now I'm really good at catching myself when I finally get to fight. What's a fight?


A fight between the two of us is me being like, you know, honey, I just didn't like if I just didn't appreciate, like, how you did this, that and this. And then he's like, oh, my God, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I did that. You are a psychologist.


We're not yellers either of us, but like. I'll get upset about I'll get mad, I don't know, I'll get upset about things, and then I'll send like I'm like two days ago, I feel like I like kind of start to get upset about something. And then I had to send, like, a member of my team, like a three paragraph email that was like I just feel like maybe this was mishandled.


Like I wasn't really mad an example, because I was really mad. I'll get mad and then I'll like trash talk with a friend of mine and like, get it out of my system.


And then by the time I go to talk to the person, if I do it all, it's like what happened to her?


I don't know. I'm not a yeller.


You're so good at you're so good at conflict, I guess. Or maybe I avoid it.


Yeah. No, I think you're good at it. A little Boltzmann's strategy here. I think you're secure. What is it.


That's what it is. What do you mean. Of course you would say this. What's attached to strategy is like your attachment strategy based on how much eye contact and physical touch you got as a child is basically ordains your attachment strategy and how you attach to other people. It's it's super complicated.


I bet I have a good one, but I see my parents. You're like, I think very eye contact. E-Touch secure is like very rare.


It's incredibly annoying that you secure.


Well, I don't really know anything about this, so I'll just take your word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe the fact that I don't know what is proves that you're secure. I'm sorry. And he's secure too. He dies. Are fucking.


We got a lot of I got a lot of physical. I'm worried something really bad's gonna happen to you. Yeah. Because your life I'm gonna you know, I'm saying like that's my like the other shoe is going to draw like. Yeah.


The shoe going to drop. Yeah. For sure. It could happen you had some cats die. Yeah, they OK, but they were very old. OK, look, it'll happen like I can't think about it.


Can't live your life thinking about I. Do I. Yes, you did everything. When something really bad happens, I get kind of psyched because look, OK, that's out of the way.


Yeah. I mean, look, my parents are both still alive so like that'll be the big thing, right? When they when they go, that's going to be a daunting thing. I mean, you know, bad things have happened, but not that bad, it's true, been fucking lucky. Yeah, some bad things have happened for sure. But like other things that we're not you're not I don't subscribe to. But this is why I like you.


I don't think you're like anything. You work your ass off.


It's both. I think it's both. It's got to be both. Come on, come on now. Come on, a lot of people work hard. Yeah, a lot of luck. Yeah, that's true. Your bone structure, your nose job, I swear, I don't think you I swear.


I don't I also don't think like, I wouldn't lie about it. That's what I'm saying. So it's like it's like I don't know why. I wouldn't just be like I got breast implants because I was I would be like I did. And here's the doctor.


He's the best like and I think that I'm trying to think because I got filler on the side of my nose because it like forever they asked me to get a nose job.


Like who asked by and he was like, you have a deviated septum, we need. And I was like, I actually I don't think I should go down this road because I know myself. Well, that's the thing with female comics that came for me. Yeah. Like it's not a I know I feel like a fair amount of slippery plastic surgery in my family history. And so I guess I'm a little nervous about that. Like tattoos. Like, I know if I start, I will never stop the same.


I get nervous about it. Yeah, but so I was like, I don't want that. And also I was known enough to where you'll be able to tell. And I was just like, yeah, I, I have crooked nostrils and everybody knows it and people make fun of me about it. And if I change it, like remember when Jennifer Gray got to know I was just going to bring that never worked again. Killed her career. It's like, it's like she's the that's because that's what we loved about.


Yeah. Yeah. But you should be able to do that. You know, I don't want to I, I know. I'm sorry. She should have just for Grace you should do whatever you want but like. Yeah like for sure but yeah. So I got filler in the time. I know and I feel like that's why we were talking about I was like a baby, I had just gotten it and I was like oh did you get a nose job because you can also e-mail or want to be on just talk.


Oh yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's such a touchy subject. It's such a like I know it's taboo because we all want to be like, I don't know, I'm trying to like because I have a nervousness about seeing people that I know having gotten a lot of like do a lot of that. And I've watched the slippery slope happen that like I'm more I'm trying to do like the micro current facials on myself every day with, like, my thingy at home, you know what I mean?


My zip. No, I do the zip.


The zip. OK, zip. It's a little different, a little bit of Botox, but it's worn off by now.


Mind you. I know because of the fucking quarantine.


I know my elderly woman. I don't do that one just right here. And they laugh at me because I'm like, don't give me too much as you have. I always tell them the amount I know. And the doctor's like I just don't think that does much at all. And I'm like, only do because you have to give me those 12 units. He's like, well, let me do twenty. I'm like, do not do twenty obsessed with you.


I'm like, I am. And then all I'm such a good actor is that I'm acting like a doctor. I've sat with him for twenty minutes being like, should I go up to fourteen. I just don't know, like what's a you know, 12 to 14. It seems so crazy. Maybe the 12 time, but I feel like I could use the extra two. He's like, it's such little difference because there's really not doing much at all.


They think their job is to make you have. No, I. I know wrinkles is a sign of youth at this point.


Well I would say oh yeah. I mean people get wacky with that stuff. But I will say the guy that I've gone to to do that stuff is like a great he's a good dermatologist and he is not a pusher, which is what I like about the guy. He's just he's more like, that's great. I'll do whatever you want. And when will you come in finally to get your, like, full body mold? I don't think I need to do that.


I'm like, oh, I don't have time today. Give me that shot. Give my daughter that shot.


My muscles are my muscles. It's fine.


Or inquire or inquire. I've actually been the tennis.


I shouldn't say that.


I've been getting a lot of outdoor type because we live in L.A. because I always go like, oh, cancer will be cured by the time it's cancer be fixed.


It's not a good strategy. There's no high def television is a nightmare. I know, but then I get on your skin. Well, first I was going to say I get my plasma, which sucks, which is, you know, where you get like a discoloration, kind of. I think it's from my birth control.


If I'm if I get one oh trail, it's not real briefly.


It was set, I think. But I believe it's more true. I've never heard of a birth control.


I've never heard of. Search it. You don't think there's a neutral what do I use on my skin? I have. I've never there's never been a like I've never not heard of a bathroom. I've never there's no birth controls I haven't been on nor trial. Yeah. Is this one where you skipped your period? No, but like, they're so light, yeah, yeah, I basically skipped my period, but you still have that week of pills.


That's like how long have you been on it on birth control in general? Probably just as long as I've been with Dave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I use in my skin. I have a great facial Beeber D'Souza Beeber Los Angeles and I get my products from her pretty much so I could do everything they she says. Are they available to buy. Yes Beeber.


Los Angeles Ziba. What does that work. Vibha It's her first name. OK, got it. OK, ok. OK.


Some people's names are Banku. Sorry I'm problematic. We've been over this. I love her and adore her. She's so fixed my skin and it helped me to not be like her.


It was never that bad. But I used to be a bad picker. I had a family of pickers. So I was just like, I feel like on the community days there were just days where you're like telling scripted like imposts. Can we. It's a script supervisor script. I can't film and TV. Very. And so if you have like a huge zit, you can tell I'm now I'm for the listeners. I'm going to tell the script supervisor I've never done that.


But you can tell the script supervisor to market and then in post-production, they can like, you know, CGI.


I've never done that. And I guess that I get all you claiming your space.


I mean, I only learned about it because our makeup artists on community would every so often be like we already told scripts.


And I'd be like what I told them.


What if the fact that we're so cool, have makeup on all day and have good and you have perfect skin and there's people that like dress like I feel like you always get that zip right before you start a job when your skin has been perfect. And also even like a week ago, like just when I'm like every time I get to like I know you think I'm so well adjusted, but still there always these hurdles where I get to that really good place where I'm feeling like everything's going well and I feel good in my life.


And then when I'm in that spot, I'm always like, and this will be it forever. Like, I'm so glad I'm done picking my face forever. And then two hours later I'm like, now, except that I have this like gash in the middle and I'm like, and then I just have to sit there and deal with the the guilt of like this picking who did that to myself.


An addiction did that. It's very addictive. Yeah, it's very addictive.


But those painful patches that I just learned about a week ago are actually the most amazing thing for that. And if I could sell like a commercial for a minute, it blew my mind. It's like a week ago I picked a zip. It was right here. Well, the one I bought is like a Band-Aid brand, like Next Nexus.


There's Nexium, pimple star face.


No, no, no, no, no. Cause I mean, yes, these are all over the world. This is a Band-Aid company that starts with an X, and I forget what the rest of the word is.


And so basically it's like hydra colloid.


I don't know if I'm pronouncing that SARS mighty next care, next care, acne absorbing cover.


So my friend had told me to get these a while ago and I had tried one once and was like, this is bullshit and then just stuck it in a drawer. And then a week ago my you know, I was going to present at the People's Choice Awards and had to and like, my skin had been perfect for months. And then, of course, my makeup artist got there and I was like, you have to sort of rebuild my skin in this area.


Sorry. And she was like, you should throw a pimple patch on it tonight. I was like she was like, well, it can't be bad for it. And I was like, I guess I'll try it. Good mind blown. OK, if you ever use those bandaids that you put on a blister. Yes. And it turns white pigment turns white.


Really care for my feet. OK, well let them bleed this. Is that for your face. It's a little thing.


You put it over your pimple and I think the skin kind of needs to be open for it to work because basically it's like it's perfect for if you pop it and you're not sure if you got anything out, you should sleep. You have to keep it on at least like four to six hours. So it's best to use it overnight.


AutoZone it? No, it's just this hydro colloid and it's used basically it keeps the area moist, but it's protecting it from bacteria. I'm telling you, I should get a campaign, by the way, because I truly believe this shit. No joke. It protects your skin from incoming bacteria. It keeps it moist while sucking out all the oil and pus in your zit for real. And when you take it off in the morning, it's like all white with a white hold.


It is the coolest. I just use them for four days and like, truly, it's got salicylic acid.


Some of them have that in them. But I don't trust that. I don't trust the producers never laugh at any interviews. And they're very into this because of your crazy.


Oh wow. Salicylic acid. This is a meh. I'm really glad we're talking about this. It's like, have you seen those commercials? Oh, my God. I'm looking at the reviews. Great product. Bad packaging for. You guys you people are why were so amazing product hate the packaging. Fuck you. I like that it's by a Band-Aid brand and that I know it's legit and they're not trying to sneak like perfume into it. Yeah, course, of course.


I don't look like it's like a normal pattern. Like, it's like you see it and you're like, I'm sleeping in this room, so I don't touch it. Like, that's a game changer. Yeah. I've started getting a little hormonal acne on the chin.


Well, again, I feel like they don't know when they don't work. It's a real letdown, but I think it has to be in my mind, has to have just been popped.


It has to just at least have a little opening or it can't be so that it's sucking the stuff out of your skin is porous, though.


I know. But I'm telling you, I've used it before on something. You just lost your sponsorship.


I know. OK, here's what I experienced this.


But I feel like friends of mine have put it on a zit that they felt like was like forthcoming and about to be like a monster. Yes. And they felt like it did help decrease it. I do the prescription cortisone cream. That's legit, it's legit, but it's but long term, it's like if it's like shooting something tomorrow, you know, going out with that guy that doesn't want to date me tomorrow, put it on and it's loaded.


It does do long term damage, though, cortizone. It's no long term in your skin, long term, like a lot of the lasers do that, too. I know I did a lot of like lasers early on that I wish I hadn't.


I'm just trying to do a lot of nano current. And then I also bought like a vibrating gold bar. Yeah. And I also bought, like, these two silver balls that you keep in the. Yeah, yeah. You're already puffing and like it's like like lymphatic drainage. Yeah.


I try to do all the rolling. No. Wow, what's that? Nothing good, I don't want to know because I can skinnier things are going great for me. Yeah, I was going to say you actually you do need to do less. Maybe you need to like it some time. I want that. I don't want you getting any younger. So I'm not going to thank you for sharing your secrets. I'm not going to share.


But you know what, though? I've never got that. I remember once I had worked with. Some people on a movie and I was telling somebody about did you ever go to Shape House to do that? Like I did one I read like a steam. It's an infrared sauna. And you're like it's a it's a sleeping bag. It's. Yes, but it's not steam. It's like a sauna. So it's dry heat sleeping bag. And you do it for an hour and you sweat a ton.


So it's like help you lose weight. But it's really just sort of like, yes, getting the toxins out, whatever. It feels good. I like it. I used to have a what do you call it, like a subscription to that place. So it's like a membership. Yeah. And I was doing press for some movie and I told one of the other actors about it and they were sort of like, oh, and then they were like, I mean, you shouldn't tell people that because like now we're going to do it.


Like someone else was like, oh, don't tell her that, because now she's going to do it and look better than you. I was like, hold the fuck. Do I care if she also sweats like like you're like no one can look better. Why would I tell her it's so weird.


What's there to happy that just a weird people that think that way.


I'm like, oh I am like I'm like that. I have such a scarcity complex. Who you. Yes.


Because I remember when I was a kid, my sister and I, when my dad would put down like chicken nuggets, we'd grab them and lick them all so that the other one, no one else with food.


I have a thing because I really slow eater and often everybody would eat all the stuff and then I would be like like I wouldn't get. Yeah. Like like when Dave and I first started dating, if he was like picking off my plate, I'd be like, this is my food. Like you have to be patient and let me eat it. Like I'm eating it so slowly that you're thinking I'm like one of those actresses that just picks it doesn't eat, but I do want to eat it all.


But it's going to take me some time. You are Cat? Yeah. My mom used to leave me at the dinner, like they just like clear all the food and wash the dishes. And I'd still be like I'm finishing I think called a major Steier fearless. Never in a rush.


I don't know. You're kind of remind me of Sobashima Skalkaho a little bit.


Oh, I'll take that. I mean, that and just I just in terms of his approach to life is like I'm doing what I'm doing and I'm going to do it perfectly. And as long as it takes is how long it's going to take like that, I'm no one's rushing me totally, except I'm not going to, like, be taking so long. Other people are put out. Yeah, but if I, I mean, it's got myself out a lot.


But you are resentful towards you, so let's avoid a few resentment on me. Do what I'm going to take care of me. Yeah. And that's the most selfless thing you can do. That's so interesting. Now, now things are making sense now that I was able to like find another person that you remind me of.


OK, I like this for our relationship. Yeah.


This is now I like OK, now I know how to deal. I know.


Get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get Sussudio you know, and these super dog.


Really. Oh. Is there anything we should have been like. Is there anything we should have covered.


Is there anything that you're surprised. I didn't ask but I should have.


No but I don't know what's been your least. What if you like the least about this, about doing this?


I guess nothing. I don't think my stressing you out. No, not at all. Oh, good.


I was going to more like it's like I want to say something about something I worked on, but I feel like this is not like a plug type of podcast. But but it is like I mean we talked about well by the time this comes out, when does this come out? It's a great question. Don't challenge. Oh, OK. Promising young woman. Yeah, but it's always coming out as some people listening. Yeah. Yeah that's true.


Just because they're something of mine that is coming up that came out today. But I'll give it and it's called Marvel six. One said what an asshole. It's a new show for Disney.


Plus I just, I just figured this way. You had more things coming up. Well, this is a very low key thing that I feel like not a lot of people know about. This is what we need to all watch. OK, well, it's a it's an anthology documentary series on Disney. Plus that Marvel has done.


And I directed an episode and it was like my first time doing that, kind of like a big documentary style directing.


That's what's your favorite documentary? Oh, I know that's a hard question. What are like some, you know, capturing the Friedmans? Yeah, of course, like and of course I was like a staircase, just like who did it?


He did. Did the owl did. All right. I'm not not behind the owl theory. I'm not not behind it. You're just sexist towards men. Yeah.


I don't ride elephants. But did you see tickled. No. Oh, that's a good one. I heard about this. Yeah. It's definitely very sensitive.


And I watch something that's really weird. Ital like, fuck me up for like a couple days.


Well here's what you should watch by Marvel six one six episode because it's darling, it's like a feel good episode about high school kids doing more theater sex. One is Marvel one. I don't know if you've heard of it. Yeah, it's super sweet.


And also Gillian Jacobs directed an episode also. What. And like how cool. What a delight.


Yeah. And then sorry, I know you're like anything else we should talk about, about you.


I'm like, well you thank you for being a fucking bro. This is what we do. What's my type Anice coming out.


Shamie a shit about Chris. Adorable. I did start watching the newest Amanda Knox documentary that the new or newer one, my friend produced the the the one that was on Netflix.




And they also produced Marvel six one six. No, and it's Davis High School friend. She's coming on the podcast in a couple of weeks.


Amanda Knox School was like, oh, I thought that tickled me the most.


If anything, in this podcast, Wild was watching the documentary Knox. I want to see the new one. You could play her. I should. You should.


But, you know, already did. Hayden Panettiere already did all play her all. Come on. The podcast also has her. We'll have her in the other room. So it's like her real answer is direct. You and I have a earbud in direct to you and then I give them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


It's gets very meta, very like Charlie Kaufman.


So that was so accurate. Yeah. I haven't, I didn't watch the octopus, which I can't because it makes me too sad.


Oh I have. Oh is it sad. I've been really wanting to watch the animals. I just, I get too sad.


What about planet Earth too.


I don't have a I'm not into wheat enough. I that's true. I get that. It's kind of like they're like a science but I do watch screen savers planet Earth to actually like is phenomenal where they actually like I sized. No, it's the other guy, Farland or Edinborough, Edinborough, the other guy. They make it look like tried to cancel Neil deGrasse Tyson, just didn't take, did they? I wasn't privy to it. I didn't read about it.


I don't read about all the cancellations all the time. Planet Earth two, they really, like, dramatize everything in a way that's very compelling and entertaining to watch about. Yeah. And now I want to watch the other one. I have such about about India. You have to watch it because I have such a hard take on. Oh I'll watch and I'm going to bite you. But you, you're going to like it because you think that he did it in the staircase.


I already know what you're gonna think.


That's very judgmental, very your character. So I already know what you're going to say.


And I'm a Capricorn, which is what I thought you were right about to say. Like just knowing that about God. I knew I was writing this out for a reason.


I also have a theory that the fact that you were born on December twenty ninth is very traumatic and why you're such a great performer because you had to compete with Jesus Christ.


Well well, it's not like I was born on Christmas. You were born on the 29th of December, knowing what day I was. No one cares about your birthday. You were not true. You were not a priority. My parents cared about. Not really.


They it was a hassle for them. No.


Was it they just buy you a Christmas present, not after their birthday party. And they're going to do nursing to you.


They loved it. My parents even worse, proving my point, but that too many presidents and my biggest problem was that like my parents went out of style by the time it was my next birthday, I got like a cool June birthday and got, like, good music because, like, you were like poor snow in school.


You didn't get to, like, have the birthday. Yes. It sucks. It sucks. It does. Everyone was like taking the tree out, like the lights down. It mostly sucks because nobody's around. So you're right. It's like when you're a kid, you're not in school and that's where you want to be in school. And then when you're an adult, you're not at work, which is which is a plus. It's been a real plus that I can now I just get out of town always.


But like being born and raised in L.A. and no one's from here. So like come my birthday, everyone's gone.


But it's like dead city people that have birthdays near holidays or between holidays that December, you know. Yeah.


Twenty third babies and the February 15th, like it's it's I mean I think my parents like overcompensated by being like we always have to be with you on your birthday and like really make it a thing into my adult life or I'd be like, you know, who I don't want to be with on my sad birthday. Just my parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, because I've done those a couple times and it's way worse. Yeah.


So now we just we literally it's like having your witness of the gynecologist not just wonder why or we get out of town with. It's great. It actually has worked to my advantage in that I always know it's the two weeks when nobody's working and I go somewhere. Sometimes a couple of friends come to it's all great. Yeah, but trust me, I still still even doing that. We've had birthdays where we're trapped on a plane for seven hours on the tarmac and then we finally get where we're going.


And our friends are like, hi, sorry, we're doing OK. So we're so glad you're staying here. And it's a great big. Oh, it's your birthday. Yeah, totally. Here we go. We did get we got you a piece of cake and I'm like, you're like, bitch. I'm like, this sucks for a year and ten years.


Well, I used to be like it's just be like. I don't even care I don't care about my birthday and I don't want to celebrate it, so that's great. And then I did like a couple of years ago, I think, to what actors do. I think what entertainers do is we make like I was I was like, I don't wanna get married. It's like but I make every day my wedding day. I get to know one.


Celebrate my birthday, September 4th, the first day of school, always Labor Day. So I never got to have birthdays. So like I make every day my birthday, like, it's like we I just am.


So you also feel like you have a bad birthday. So we're connecting on like I think yeah. I think I'm just overshadowed by the first day of school.


I was No. One. It was like, hi, my name is Whitney and someone go, is it your birthday? And I was like, yeah, they be like, cool, happy birthday.


Like, Oh, now we feel uncomfortable. Like my trapper keeper is broken. Like everyone was just like we're like it was just like a weird I never had parties, I never my parents.


I do think they always tried to throw a cool party where like we were doing a fun activity when I was in elementary, like my mom would get a bunch of shirts and like puff paints and we do like like before birthday party. Now, parents are crazy and they get like.


Yeah, like they said. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.


Like super hot back then we did like Lokey. Cool stuff. Yeah. Anyway, cool theory. So I was little I was like a little sliver of anger came out like I have like a little bit of real I feel something. You have anything else to say about something real is coming up? I don't have anything else to say about it. Feels real. So very real.


I just know I feel like we've just totally I think it's a great theory. I feel like we just undone the entire progress made. I guess I'm getting closer.


We took a turn. I hit. I hit a nerve. Not at all. I didn't mean it that way at all. I was sort of just wrapping up that I'm obsessed.


That was store. When you tell someone, ask someone if they're mad, all of a sudden everything they do proves you don't matter what they.


Yeah. Are you mad? I'm not mad. I know I'm really not mad, but like you, you didn't accuse me of it.


Now all of a sudden, everything it's like when someone call is like, you're being crazy. I'm not crazy. Totally. There's nothing.


And then even if you get really calm, then that's also there's nothing you can do. I'm not. So I'm like, oh, you're upset when someone accuses you of doing something, it's over your loyalty.


You're right. OK, so planet Earth, I've Googled all these things you told me, have you seen Marvel Haddington two don't I'm not doing this hipster padding you've never seen had anything to Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen can't stop tweeting about Paddington to that.


True. Yeah, go on Twitter.


Everyone's very clear about it.


I can't it's everyone's so obsessed with Paddington, too. I don't I'm like, good. I'm sure I'll watch it. But you're probably right, though. It's maybe it's a weird thing that if you don't. Yeah, I got to love Paddington too. But you definitely don't have I didn't see Paddington one and I still really love Paddington too. And it's maybe a career. Best performance by Hugh Grant. Are you watching that new show? I got to go watch one.


I know we're trying to replace a priest now.


A priest. I'm good on Hugh Grant. Well, maybe I haven't watched that.


You are fine. Oh, not me. Somebody sounds like an anti Paddington too.


I was like erm movies like Notting Hill. Like you just were saying that you loved Notting Hill.


It's well made. You compared my movie to Notting Hill in a flattering way and now you're going to shit.


I'm not going to go searching again. I do need a snack and don't worry I have one in my bag and I'm going to have a snack bar. I really good not far. And I do have some seeds. I have my own. I just like at that whole. What was the one where they all fell in love with the help love actually you know, like. Sure I never liked that shit. I know. I know why it works.


I know it's good. I did do, I did a I did a not a movie. I did like a mini series. Once that shot in London at all, the British people were like, why do Americans love love actually like that shit is stupid. I was like, I don't know.


Don't don't put it all on me. Here's my thing with you, Grant. I don't like the like I'm so nervous and I like weddings and a funeral.


I don't remember it. I just I don't like I mean, I don't like flustered men.


OK, well that's why together you will appreciate Paddington to Hugh Grant because now he's like, I'm making choices and I'm a totally different type of I don't like men like pretend they're weak and like we're supposed to be like, oh, but he's just flustered and nervous.


Like, No, you're not. Yeah, OK, fine, I don't disagree, but a lot, but I also I believe we together I agree with you and I like Hugh Grant. You're going to have to pick one. I won't. I know he's skilled and we're like, just yeah, I don't know. No, I like him and he's aging like a fine wine, making great choices. I remember Harrison Ford latter years.


Yeah, sure. I'm into him, too.


OK, you can like both and you can. I agree with you. I can agree with you. And like Hugh Grant, we I'm a black and white person.


You're great. You're like I'm in your area.


Two things can be true to my burden paid. Don't ride elephants. We love you guys. I have.