Lex FridmanGood For You
- 2,883 views
- 14 Oct 2020
Lex and Whitney discuss love and robots.
Are we rolling?
What is that? Are you timing this interview so I know what time it is? Still not.
Is it a no? Put it back. OK, but what what did you can you just explain to me the psychology of that? For those of you listening, let's just put his phone on the table. And it had like a stopwatch going.
It contextualizes, like, how we're doing. Because if I look down on the phone and I could tell that time has passed away faster than that usually passes, that means I'm having fun. That's how I know I'm having fun.
I'm just saying you need proof that you're having fun. I'm like that. I don't I I'm not good at fun because I feel like when I'm supposed to be having fun. I get in my head too much and I'm such a perfectionist that I'm like, I'm not having fun well enough. Yeah, exactly.
That's what I do like like if I'm in a wedding or something, I'm like I end up just kind of taking pictures of people and documenting it because I can cast myself in a role that's socially acceptable because I'm not like the get in the middle dance guy of the dance circle. And having fun for me is exhausting because I feel like I'm just not doing it right. Yeah, that's the problem with, like, podcasting, because I've been doing I'm doing my own podcast.
Thank you for doing it. All those months ago, by the way. That's right.
And it's so hard to just lose yourself in the fun of the conversation because, like, you're too busy judging yourself or you're like, how am I doing this?
That was a stupid question. That was a stupid thing. I just said, you know, you just constantly judging yourself.
But also, isn't that what makes people great of what they do know for sure? Self-examination, yet hating yourself is very good for productivity. The problem is life is short and ends and you never get to enjoy it the most.
The least talented people I know are the most confident about their talent.
Yeah, but you have to like. So the way I try to do is I oscillate back and forth. I'm full of self-doubt. I hate everything I do. But every once in a while, not often during the day, I'll just be like, damn, it's awesome to be alive just just like breathe in and out. Just realize I'd be grateful that. For everything, just for the ability to breathe, ability to do all the awesome things that I get to do that all of us get to do, I don't know.
And nature helps, too.
You should use that for a good pickup line. And that's what this this whole thing is.
I thought this was a date. These cameras you're calling it.
No. On dates, I have way more cameras. So the first thing I usually ask on this podcast is, are we friends?
What's our relationship? Are we friends? Just so that the viewers know have some context.
After all, it's very weird after what we did last night with the handcuffs, the things you did to me, those I thought I was crossing all kinds of kids.
I mean, I just feel like I wasn't allowed to make untoward jokes like that. Now that you're opening four minutes in. I mean, how many minutes? Yeah, four minutes. Ten seconds. Then you're already in handcuffs jokes. This doesn't go off the rails.
And yeah, I was trying to be respectful because you're a, you know, assigned allegedly scientist. Yeah. You're a professional scientist. Yeah. No, yeah, I think so. Hmm.
I think you're. What are we to each other, what do I mean to you? I thought we were dating for the last few months, but I guess why? Because we haven't spoken in four months. Yeah, I thought you were just playing hard to get. Why is she not responding to all the phone calls?
I did have this theory the other day that I was thinking about how it's so much harder to play hard to get now or to give men the silent treatment or any of our sort of like tactics.
I'm not saying they're healthy. I'm just we use them.
We do, because women are now in the workforce and they're successful. And I think I come off as people is very busy. So sometimes when I'm trying to play hard to get with a guy, it backfires because he's like, well, I just figured you were busy.
You're so busy. I'm like, no, I'm trying to give you the silent treatment. I'm trying to ignore you. Like, I can't do it anymore because I'm too busy. I've lost those tools of manipulation.
But you're going somewhere else with this, like Instagram. Like if you keep posting on Instagram, then it makes it difficult to say that, like, because you what's hard to get, you want to actually show that you are busy, that you have a life outside of you like outside of the other person.
Right. Not sure if guys like that though. I think. I think. Yeah, I know for sure I'm like, everyone's different, but I like it when all that bullshit is thrown aside, when you just start texting, when you send like a hundred text. I admire that. Like, when you're when you're through text. Yeah.
Like when you're just crazy a little bit because we're all crazy. We all every once in a while you're crazy.
And if you allow yourself to be lost in the infatuation of somebody else, I don't know.
So you're saying if a girl texts you a hundred times, you're into it depends on the content of the text. If they're all just titty photos, one hundred tits is fine.
One hundred hundreds. What are you thinking?
Not fine. No, if it's like if like 90 percent of it is like angry at why are you not responding then fine.
But if it's like running, if it's like tweet quality, thoughtful, like, like fun, I would never waste a good tweet on a guy in a tweet.
And that's true. I mean, I'm joking of course about the hundred, but like I feel like being lost. In just liking somebody and not giving a damn about the game, the rules of how it's supposed to work, that's kind of cool.
That's the new cool thing, I think. I also think that we grossly overestimate sort of the power of those.
If you like someone, them texting you three times in a row is endearing. If you don't, they're a stalker.
You know, it's like the he leaves the cap off the toothpaste. If I don't like them, it's annoying. If I like them, it's like, oh, I can't stay mad at you, you silly. Gives you leave the cap off the toothpaste.
It's like, yeah. You know, confirmation bias or whatever. If you like the things that annoy you about people, I don't think they would annoy you if you actually really liked them.
That's a good test for me with people is like if I see something about another person and it annoys me, that means it's not going to work 100 percent.
Like I was texting with this guy the other day and I was like, am I coming on too strong? Am I being too aggressive?
I'm like, if this text makes or breaks it, he doesn't like me. He's not into me. Like, if I can't just be authentic, like I and I also I'm just at a place where I don't want to curate my interactions too much or script them or overthink them because it's ultimately just because you're just lying and pretending it's just gross, you're just being gross and criticizing about something.
Oh no, I'm coming in strong hot.
Coming in very hot. I forgot the podcast you said this on. So I'm also a fan of your podcast.
You said you were talking about some older gentleman used to date and then he would that old this was your criticism about quote unquote, old dudes that.
Yeah, that they he played Bruce Springsteen's I'm On Fire a little girl. Is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you alone or did you just fall in love with me?
I did work, but that's an awesome song because I was actually unless you're a little girl and your daddy's not home.
Well, in which case is a creepy song. Well, love is creepy, so.
Correct. Agree with that. I shouldn't have said this on this podcast. OK, give me it. It's the criticism that that's an awesome song and it's ridiculous. Criticism of Bruce Springsteen is one of the greatest musical artists of all time. I agree.
And then you just kind of you kind of threw you use I just criticize you for just throwing Bruce Springsteen under the bus.
I didn't throw him under the bus almost. There's this new thing, this new thing where if a woman just acknowledges a creepy thing that a guy did, she threw him under the bus.
It's like, well, Springsteen I know is Bruce Springsteen. First of all, I don't think I have the power to cancel Bruce Springsteen. I just like to. What I tell fresh eyes, I like to look at things with fresh eyes and go, remember when we thought that was normal? And you look back and you're like, Oh, that was kind of creepy as someone that appreciates creepy behavior, has participated in creepy behavior and frankly likes older guys.
And I just like to look back, though. That was so weird that we used to just seeing that in the car.
OK, I got it. What's your I like I love older.
The best thing about older guys for me now is that when you hang out with them, you get to accidentally listen to R. Kelly because they didn't hear they don't know what kind of older guys they're hanging out with.
Yeah, like a guy ever Yahoo! News or whatever they get, wherever they get their news, didn't cover the R. Kelly scandal. So like a will come on every now and then. I though, I mean, R. Kelly made some stops.
And if you want to hear his music and Nike canceled, you have to date older guys, OK? You have to be like, turn it off.
Turn it off. Oh, oh.
I'm regretting this podcast. Wait, so here I have a couple.
I'm really sort of paralyzed on how to start this conversation with you. I thought we already started.
I got Litoral guy. Are you that guy in fights with women? You're like, I didn't say you were a bitch. I said you were acting like a bitch.
Your literal guy, not little guy, really. I don't need to win. You win. If I win, we both lose. No, I'm that person. Oh, well, I'm not fighting against you, I'm fighting. Well, you're a people pleaser, so not so much anymore. You keep saying that you still are.
You think you're like you're trying to fake it until you make it.
Yeah, just a sec. Now, what are we talking about? Yeah, we're back to that. So let me ask you a question.
Do you feel like you always saying you're single? Like, what are you doing with that?
What does that what does this rigamarole saying? You actually want a girlfriend? Do you actually want to solve this problem? Yeah, 100 percent.
So what's because I have a theory that if you want a girlfriend, you have one.
That's that's. Yeah, that's an interesting theory. So first of all, that's his way of saying fuck you.
Yeah. So I think. I think a relationship is one of the most fulfilling things you can have, like family to like, I'd love to have kids not obsessed with it, but that seems to be like I mean, you build robots is the same thing.
Yeah, well, I know you're kind of joking. I'm I'm so kind of not. Yeah.
There's something deeply fulfilling also about building cool shit like just bringing your ideas to life.
I can't program a kid. That's that's the thing that's kind of fascinating. I think about having children is someone that can control everything and build things custom and and build how they think and how they feel and how they move. And then you have a kid and there's just you can't well, that's no control.
That's the magical thing about it is I was referring to the the magical part about this whole thing, about robots, about kids is the act of creation. And then the rest is just up to the the beautiful way that this world unravels. Like you can't control any of it, really. So, like, that's fun to me.
Would you say you're a control freak?
Now it's complicated. I would there's certain things I'm really OCD about, like maybe arranging like items on a desk, that kind of stuff. But I'm also conscious of it in in in I'm conscious of the fact that if you want to truly enjoy life, you want to just lose yourself in it. So I really enjoy people that you kind of I think we were talking off like about that people who don't have a schedule, people, they just throw it all to the window.
But do you not have as much you have more respect for those people or less respect?
I enjoy being it's not a respect thing. I enjoy having them in my life, but I'm very much a guy who just sits down. For two hours, four hours, 10 hours, whatever it is, I'm just focused, so I was a girlfriend going to fit into this. How is it?
Certainly, if I may. Do you want an equal oh, hundred percent?
That's the question, because no equal of yours is going to come in and go, yeah, I'm going to I'll get you for 20 minutes between your ten hours of coding and two hours of push ups and seven hours of David Goggins running or whatever the hell you do.
The way David Goggins is relationship. I don't know if they're married, but it's awesome. Oh, cool. They found you know, they found C equals a funny word.
It is. You are literal guy. No, because, like, you know, what is equal means is I mean, both have a career. So like to me, what a successful relationship looks like is not successful for me. What I look for is somebody who's really passionate about what they do. And that can just enjoy cheering them on in, like, whatever the hell it is they love doing, like just get like I Nazi.
Yeah, well, within you both, which is kind of weird because I'm Jewish.
So the sex would be great. I feel a little suffocating.
Maybe I could appreciate it. You went, wow, I'm sorry. Timing is good.
No, maybe there's I'm not to with you. I'm sorry. I'm trying to be serious. Please. I have so much respect for you and I admire you so much. I'm going to try to not be silly.
Likewise, I'm trying not to compliment you too much. Why not.
Why give the wallet? Because then it'll be just like I mean, you know, you're also there's there's different kinds of compliments. I'm just like a fan.
It's a weird experience when you listen to somebody on a podcast I already thought were friends, you know, for a long time before we even, you know. So you're a stalker. Yeah, you're a stalker.
I do have a theory that someone that accuses someone else of something is that thing. Yeah, exactly. Whenever you're in a relationship and someone's accusing you of cheating, you're like you're cheating. Yeah. That's you know, that does apply. Yes, that's kind of yes.
Because, like, why did your brain go there? Your brain is obviously already in that space. So for to like to me, relationship was for two busy people. What seems to work, in my view, is if you're both really passionate about something and you both draw a lot of pleasure from enjoying, like cheering each other on, enjoying the success of each other in whatever you're passionate about and you almost like both get into that thing.
So but do you ever get. Have you ever been with someone who's really busy and drives a lot of pleasure out of what they do and you feel competitive with it or the other thing?
No, I mean, it's like I was talking to a guy the other day and she was like, look, the ocean is Laird's girlfriend. And I'm like, go be with your girlfriend. Like, she has a she's very you know, she understands how important that is to him and how that they're almost in like a polyamorous relationship with the ocean. But I definitely. You want someone that has such a full life, but there are times where like, well, I want to make you feel like that.
Oh yeah, 100 percent.
I think she's it's not about the time because you kind of said, like, how much time you give them, but when you're in it, whatever it is, 30 minutes or. Hours together, you make them feel like they're the most important thing in the world, I mean, absolutely like family has to be number one.
But what is your. I'm sure you've not wasted your precious time taking silly tests like this, but do you know what you're like? Love languages, like how you get how you give and receive love.
So I'm a Leo. Now let's get to the hard science. I don't know what the hell you're talking. I didn't mean like that.
I mean, like, how do you you know, the love languages are based on, like service, physical touch, positive affirmations and gifts. So it's like, you know, how do you because there are times where I'll be dating somebody and I won't hear from them for two days, but then they'll show up with, like, gifts. So it's like, oh, you've been thinking about me this whole time, but we haven't been contiguous, like, we haven't been actually connecting.
But that's just how you show your love is more through gifts and through service instead of through physical presence. In touch.
No. Yeah. Physical presence and touch like looking at them. There's something about just presence, like listening, you know.
But could you sing together because you're such a like a mental performance person, like, could you live with someone and be around them and just coexist? Or would you feel like it would be depleting your focus and draining you?
That's the big problem. It's difficult like this is where a girl really for me would help a woman. Oh, OK.
I've had that meeting with H.R., one of the reasons I stepped down from it.
Hey, little girl is your daddy. We don't call them girls anymore. Fine. Call me call me guy.
The thing I dislike the most is young lady. Young lady. I prefer girl to young lady because young lady is like you're qualifying it with like a young lady.
So how does Wop fit into all that intellectualise?
Just we're all just never know. When you start talking about robots, what will happen.
OK, yeah, this is going great. How am I performing performance wise? How are you judging yourself right now? I want to tell. How are you doing.
How do you think you're doing? I think I think I can do better. I think I'm like a four. What?
Yeah, but this is good. I want the people to develop AI and self-driving cars to grade themselves harshly.
So I don't want to change just as harsh as for I think you're doing way better than that, but you don't.
And that's fine. Don't fix that about yourself, OK? Keep your self-esteem super low in your talents. Are you OK? Yes.
Well that's how that's how I want my my AI engineers to be.
Yeah. I want you to be really hard on your side. Too confident. I don't want somebody that's like, yeah, I don't want someone developing self-driving cars. It's like fucking nailed it when they sucked. I want you to nail it and be like, oh I could have done better. This is perfect. This is why you're going to have billions of dollars.
Yeah, but I beg you for your sperm and a couple of years I am worried how power money changes people.
So I know I don't know why. Because you have to anticipate.
But that's just not. Do you. Yeah but you're going to have it regardless.
I hate money. Like I've recently had no money and I have way too much money.
That's such a guy thing, this guy thing.
Because I think for me like I have says the princess in the castle. I want to talk about another thing with my house. Why is Gates? Why why do guys not like Gates? I've dated a couple of guys. It's like, why do you have Gates into your house? Like, because people want to kill me.
Like there was the dragon had to fight so I could protect myself on a curvy road up up.
But I also have an IUD and I have to I have to protect myself from certain things that are trying to get to me.
Is that like a weapon of some kind, an IUD? Yeah. You don't know what it is.
I heard it on a clip, the post on Instagram, but I didn't look into it.
You don't know what it is I did not do. What is your official job title research scientist? I really feminist. I don't know. Is a feminist actually.
You should call yourself a feminist scientist. Yeah. All scientists I feel like are inherently feminist, even though biology is sexist.
Oh, cancer biology.
Well, we'll get to that in a second. OK, an IUD is something that you put in your uterus to birth control. OK, device. Oh, I mean, it's not like a chip, it's like a string with a little piece of plastic, like a little tiny.
So there's no electronics.
It's like a little toy that you get in a Cracker Jack box basically with hormones and stuff, McDonalds, the McDonalds toy.
But it's yeah, it's to not. So when is the last time you dated a woman? This is really alarming that you don't know. It's not easy is it has been a long time. It's been a dry spell this time.
You had a girlfriend five years ago. Mm hmm. How long was that?
And that was and I haven't had a non girlfriend after meeting, like, you know, just sleeping around or whatever, because I'm excited to talk to you about this because I feel like whenever you gone, Joe Rogan, you guys don't talk about love and relationships.
This is why you guys come to this podcast is what we do. I don't give a shit about robots.
Let's talk about love in your personal life.
Love language, I think is I feel like we were talking about we took a million tangents.
Well, I know, but I'm just saying that's what a podcast is. I feel like I was I'm just saying I feel like the kind of woman you want is going to feel slightly abandoned by how busy you are and how hyper focused you are. Like you don't.
Yeah, that's a good point. But I feel like this is the kind of woman thing that I would I think would work is somebody who can make fun of me and say that I'm being ridiculous for the way I'm being.
So like that's where an equal is really important, because, like, you have to be confident enough to show to me that I'm being ridiculous by being so obsessive, focus so like and basically help me break out of that. And here's what I'll say about that.
But I think also, as someone sees me getting emotional who I was, I got choked up as somebody who that's my IUD coming up. As someone who. Likes to make fun of people and is playful and facetious. I also think you have to watch when you're giving your man shit or making fun of them, that you're not crossing the line into being disrespectful. It took me a long time to learn this. Don't do it in front of people, all right?
Don't do it in front of other people.
All don't do it in front of his friends. So I think this is important. I think this is really important.
That's one thing you learn from, like Donald Trump and his his wife is like the image.
You never touch your husband.
He is the image you present to the public is different than like I feel like the private relationship is a different thing than the public relationship like that.
It's it's like an iceberg. You can do a lot more in private.
Mm hmm. Yeah.
I don't know much about either of their relationship. I don't want to drag them. Yeah. I don't know your Eastern European. You tell me what mail order bride process is like. I don't know. You tell me.
But in general, I just had a long conversation with Trump supporter. That's why I brought that up, because there were suggesting that it's likely that Donald Trump and Melania have like a vibrant relationship that just the world doesn't see interesting and just open my eyes to think like, oh, yeah, that could mean it's also I'm sure you get into a almost like Stockholm syndrome, us against the world thing.
I mean, that kind of situation must bond you in a way that's like a sit in Nancy type thing or a War of the Roses type thing. You know, we look at relationships and take me so long to realize, like what other people want doesn't have to be what I want. Like, when you talk to your friends, you're like, oh, and then he fucking won't text me back.
And then she's so crazy that she screams at me and you're like, well, let me help you get out of that for three hours every day. I want to talk to you on the phone and give you advice on how to extricate yourself from this.
And I'm like, we know you want that. Yeah. You want something fucked up and crazy and dramatic and shit.
I kept thinking you were trying to solve this problem with those love it. Those the other requirement for me, no requirements. Something I look for is like that were like write or die against the world together.
You want that. You want a teammate. Yeah. Did you watch what was the Kevin Spacey show. House of Cards. You want your Claire Underwood.
Yeah, that was I felt like that was a healthy relationship. I think so too. That's what I want. Yeah. I always say, like, if you don't want Claire Underwood, don't swipe right. Are you on dating apps? No.
No. So you want a girlfriend, but you're not doing anything to try to procure one? No. And when someone does, Damu, they're a stalker. Yeah, I did see why this is a little bit difficult.
Yeah, well, yeah, that I'm not sure exactly what the right mechanism for just meeting people are. The, you know, one mechanism's going on podcast's.
You will get so many. I do. You will get a lot of diamonds from a lot of girls up to this.
I don't know what to do with it though, because like what happens, let's say, OK, let's say a girl that you're physically attracted to DM's you.
You go to her page. And then she's she's always tough to yoga instructor, I don't know, I feel like you want like a yoga instructor who works like two days a week. Yeah, it's tough, like what do I do because, you know, I guess how did you meet your last girlfriend? I like the the Yellow Pages the old fashioned way, which which is why we had a mutual friend, I just arranged marriage.
OK, so someone set you up, I.
Well, no, I asked if it was a chance meeting and then I said I like her, but you don't put yourself in situations to where you can have chance meetings because you're so regimented in your life.
Yeah, that's the problem. You're not available. You don't make space for it.
But I'm hoping I'm hoping that changes.
Like I'm hoping because I've been so focused on, you know, like working towards creating the business. I thought once it gets going, like I'll get a chance to meet with people like investors and all that kind of stuff. And, you know, therefore, there's parties like give myself an excuse to have to go to a party.
Would you want to date you? So why are you interesting question, would would you want to date you? Yes. Fuck yes, dude, I'm a blast.
Are you? Yes. Are you? I wouldn't want to. Fucking awesome. Amazing. I feel like you don't believe that, but OK.
I know you're honestly. Well, I do.
I think I'm going to bed now like the entirety of it. But in bed too.
Here's the thing. I wouldn't want to detail the wanted.
I wouldn't want I wouldn't want to date me five years, three years ago and before. I wouldn't want to date me, like, seriously, but in the last couple of years, yeah, no, I got I got dope.
What was the hardest thing about doing you three, three years ago?
Well, I have. I was so. Obsessed with I'm just going to say, recreating my childhood circumstances with my dad before my dad died, I think my I was so in love with him, like I was so obsessed with getting his approval. And I was so all my neural pathways were so crystallized into just his attention and. I was so triggered by anything that reminded me of him and I was so attracted to people that recreated the neurochemical cocktail that he created, you know, I just I just was dating him, him, him.
So if I was dating you before he died, I was only dating you because you reminded me of him. Yeah. Or made me feel like the way he made me feel.
And then once he died, I did some ayahuasca. Thank you, Joe Rogan, for the recommendation. And I did a lot of work around it. And it sort of released that pattern seeking, you know, because we're all just kind of trying to recognize patterns. Right.
So I think before the if before a couple of years ago, if I was dating you, it had nothing to do with you. So now if I'm dating you, I actually like you.
And it's and I'm I'm I'm very direct now. I'm very upfront and I'm very clear.
And you always know where you stand. And I finally know how to have an orgasm.
Oh, we're learning some new things. I just saying, like, I you know, it takes a minute for you to find out who you are, what you want. And I'm financially solvent. I need nothing from you, which I know not a lot of guys are attracted to that.
And borrow some money as you can, but you need you need to order a bride.
I'd bet you miss your dad every day.
All the time. I'll cry if I talk about women. I'm obsessed with him.
I mean, it was like, you know, it just took me a really long time. I wish I had forgiven him sooner. I wish I had known more about neurology sooner and psychology sooner to know that the way that he was, he had become that honestly, like he inherited the ancestral trauma, he inherited the emotional tools that he had.
His dad was in a war.
I wish I wish I had not blamed him for so much.
I just said, yeah, I just wish I had forgiven him sooner.
What was your favorite part about him going to make me cry like he was so funny. The funniest. Is your dad alive? Yeah, dad's alive, what must be nice. I talk to him often. He actually did a I did a conversation with him who is very difficult. Why haven't I heard that one?
I'm fully now crying, God dammit, Lex, God dammit. OK, I'll I'll talk more in a second when I know that I'm not going to cry about it.
Yeah, it was weird to sit across. Listen, it's different than you and your dad.
I mean, maybe, maybe you can correct me, but there's an ego, there's a male thing where I'm mad at him for many things. He wasn't a great dad.
I mean, why would any dads be great until now? With what tools? With what books? With what podcasts? That's true. It wasn't Rogan. Rogan wasn't around like like psychology wasn't around. Like, why would any dad sort of, you know, like there was no male role model to look to that had daughters. It was like, I fucking love my daughters are awesome. Like this is the idea of being a good father. I feel like our parent in general, like I feel like everyone should be grandfathered in until like ten years ago.
I mean, that's the thing with parents. You should give them a pass.
And we had child labor within the last hundred years. Yeah. 14 year olds would just work in factories and get their fingers cut off. I mean, it's just recently that we treat children with any kind of respect.
So so definitely you're right. But still, we're still just apes. And I was sitting across from them and I don't especially in the podcast, like the way I usually talk to people is I make them the star of the show. And it's really difficult for me. To to make my dad, because he has an ego, like to let his ego shine, was very.
How would he where would he have learned to dismantle his ego and then give me a pass? So you think his ego served him really well? Yeah, for sure. But so why would he put that weapon down?
A good man should be able to keep his ego in check, but that takes work.
You say it. It's like saying a good man should be able to, like, lift 500 pounds. Well, you have to train for that.
Well, there's things I admire in a man like went. Like being able to be humble and like self-aware about their ridiculousness and to be able to keep it in check, whether it's ego or whatever the quirks are, but ego definitely like I if you're intelligent, if you're an intelligent man, which my dad is, I feel like you don't want to flaunt it. And he flaunts it. The other thing, but, yeah, start interrupting us as well.
I'm just I'm just saying, like, like in his day, you had to flaunt it. There was no social media. How else would people know?
I'm just saying. Well, no, no, you could be humble.
It's interesting. But you're like we're we're not we are in different times now.
But what makes a great man is the same thing. Still like you should you shouldn't have ever flaunted it.
But peacocking why in every species, the males are more for women.
Yeah. When I'm sure. Listen, he's a smooth motherfucker.
Laughter So, like, I'm sure he tricked my mom into, like, you know, like with the smooth talk because he actually the university he went to like I'm impressed because it was like less than certainly less than five percent, but it's like closer to one percent were women. So like it was like an MIT type of.
So it's like two years ago, two years ago this morning, this morning, the so he was he was smooth as hell.
And that's great. That's beautiful. He's a smooth talker. I love. And that's why I enjoyed talking to him. Is fun which is good. Why does that have to be pejorative.
I'm a I'm another man with an ego, and it's tough to sit in front of your dad and to say that he to just to tell them that he was a great person to show and to give them my platform to for his ego to shine. You know, I have had probably over 1000 people. Now I get a lot of people write to me about that episode. They write to me that I'm lucky to have a dad like that. He's such a great person.
Like I knew that was coming. And because the way I wasn't going to talk shitty about him on that conversation, so I wanted him to shine.
He was tough and I'm just being honest. But the way I approach it, the reason I did it is I was thinking. When he passes away. You know, 20 years from now. Would I be glad that I did this conversation and if the answer's yes, then yes, and I was thinking about this way, like when I'm an old man myself, like looking back at that, you know, I'll miss the guy. He was an incredible human.
But in the moment, he was so damn cocky.
What did you. Well, he's also not a public figure. He's going on a podcast. He doesn't he's probably doing an impression of what he thinks he's supposed to be doing.
Most people know when he's ready, he doesn't go. And I guess all that, but he checks the number of views his video gets.
Why wouldn't he regularly? Well, he also raised you. He's obviously smart. I know he had you.
Do you think he did a bad job?
Well, I'll be different. I'll be different. I think he's also was afraid to show this is where you're going to say, yeah, everybody back in the day.
He also looks like Albert Einstein. Yeah, he's legit. I mean, this is so I mean, I have an ego, too.
If I looked if people thought conflated me with Albert Einstein all the time.
Yeah. That's actually what he does. What what do you do you want that he didn't give you. I don't want to criticize him too much, but because I would imagine any shortcomings he's had or things that he didn't give you, you were able to develop the maladaptive behaviors that made you great.
OK, my childhood was perfect because it was it was it was perfect in that it wasn't perfect, but it wasn't traumatic enough to actually do. Having a perfect childhood sounds like a nightmare.
You're not prepared for real life. The most disappointing people I know had great challenges. I'm not saying they're not prepared for real life.
They can't handle conflict. They can't handle adversity. They can't handle curveballs.
It's just like I think. Adversity is good, I'm one of those bullying is good people. Yeah, which makes you wonder about, like, how to be a good parent.
He didn't give me any attention, so he was very distant, which has a very nice feature that it makes you want to earn their attention.
Therefore, you work hard like I've seen his approval. Great. Me too. So that's a that's a nice feature. I'm not sure what to do with that.
The so he gave you your engine to start a business that's going to make you a billionaire.
Thank you Dad. No, I told that part of him that that's a gift. You know, there's parts like I'm a total bro in a sense. Like I may not look like it, but I'm very I have like a Rogan inside me and my dad, like, I really am a man's man. Mm hmm. Except for the Times then, like Harvard Square and academia rubs off on me. But for the most part, Mansmann, what does a man's man mean?
May I get granular?
There's just a list of stupid shit you do like I like lifting heavy things, like building stuff. I like I like I love the idea of hunting, of a loved fishing. I like knives and guns and risk disaster risk and danger, OK, so I'd like the colonel sort of I love fighting combat violence, but not in relationships.
That's the thing that back to the last night.
Yeah, well, I'm just saying it fascinates me that the guys that want to fight the most physically have no tolerance for emotional sparring and relationships, which is dramatic.
It's like you just kind of jujitsu for five hours and we can't work this out.
I love I love fighting and like like play like play fighting. But not it's not I would say it's the dance of human connection. The tension, the push and pull, all that kind of stuff is different. That's not what I'm referring to when I'm referring to fighting. I mean, like literally getting in the streets, just like just to two monkeys going at it.
Yeah, I just I don't know. I love the adrenaline that Drumlin just.
Well, the I'm an alpha, you know, like, I'm I'm a better motherfucker than you. Yeah. You embrace that. I don't know why I love that. Yeah.
I think it's probably a little bit of nature, a little bit of nurture. A little bit of Russia. Yeah, a little bit.
Yeah. Thank you for for the listeners.
I was born in the Soviet Union, but my dad was totally he was afraid of all of that. He was a. I'm allergic to the word nerd a little bit because he was very much a nerd, so let me ask you, is it there's I was talking to someone recently, I think we were texting off of a dating app.
I'm so bad on dating apps because I just wish dating a Rhia.
This is like this this is like. Yeah, you do Zuleta. It's like the latest celebrity one. It's like the it's such it's just like a bunch of guys in V with man buttons holding French bulldogs that don't belong to them. It's a disaster. It's, I mean if you've had success on apps, I met someone who was engaged to someone off of.
Right. Amazing person.
Last time we talked was you were engaged. Was I. Yeah. Oh, I was playing hard to get. I don't think I was because I looked back at our interview and I was not wearing an engagement ring.
Yeah, no, I think that the dating app thing is like there's this might look, I built my house making fun of dating apps, but it's how is it any less weird than meeting someone in person? I actually think it's better. My new thing is and especially someone that works. And I am curious what you think everyone's like.
This is the end of it. You can have a real connection with someone. I disagree. I totally think there's so much intimacy in being able to text with somebody, seeing how they use words, seeing how they use punctuation, then face my new thing is before date in person.
I like to FaceTime. Oh, interesting. Mm hmm. I like you because no, for a couple of reasons. Number one, I get to see your house without having to go back to your house and being a whore, I could sort of, like, see what I'm dealing with, not because I want it to be big or fancy. I just like to see what kind of person you are.
I especially want to know what kind of what color your hand towels are, which color ears and handhelds.
Oh, yeah. See pantos.
I can't I can't do it. Oh hand towels handles. Yeah. OK, white towels are the only option for me.
I got to witness this irreconcilable difference.
Do you get out of bed date by the way on a on on face time is the best. My wi fi, my phone died like I had, I had a really bad I had a really bad face time date the other night. It was like we were texting off of Rhia and he's like, let's just face time. I'm like, great. And like, fuck it, let's go for it, let's just do it. And he was wasted.
It was awful.
It was really embarrassing. Yeah. But it saved me. It saved me going to see him in person and see.
But here's the let me play devil's advocate please.
Is the choice that the app provides like the easy escape, because like I'm stuck here doing this podcast, it's like I'm fully engaged and, you know, I won't see another female of the species for like a long time.
Right. So why not? Doesn't matter. The point.
The point is that the lack of choice, like it really forces you to really appreciate this moment.
I don't know. There's something about apps where you're like shopping that doesn't end well.
Yes. No, I mean, it really is. And I think it gives you an exaggerated sense of what's available, you know, like it. I think less people are committing now because they are like, well, what else is out there? There's always a you're always looking for the upgrade, right? It's always like, but what if I can't settle for this person because there's so many other people out there, but they're actually not available to you, you know?
But I think it's sort of like becomes like a gambling addiction, a little bit like you.
I feel like you have to legitimately, fully consider that this is the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and like live with that thought. Like, as you're doing the first day, are you just so, such a perfectionist about what you want to commit to that that's what sort of stops you from?
Oh yeah. Oh, so, yeah, maybe we disagree on this, but. I think like dating a lot of people, it's not my thing. Yeah, me either. Yeah.
But like and I actually believe that I don't know my own psychology. We're all different. But my own psychology is if I did a lot of people, it's going to make me less capable of finding the right person for me. Interesting, because I.
I like to just not not date unless it's someone that I think is like exceptional. But then I was like, I feel like I have to get my reps in. I feel like it's all practice, like I have to practice or see what I don't want in order to know what I do want or I have to just like experiment.
I just feel like the person that you do want will be the quiet person in the corner that you won't glance at because you're a stalker stalker in the corner just watching you because you get in reps and you know, like, I don't know, I have this.
You know, because we've talked to OFF-MIKE about like fasting and so on, you know, how delicious anything tastes after you fast for like 48 hours. It's like the most delicious thing. And I can marry that thing.
So you like to deprive yourself so that I do indulge its maximum pleasure.
I don't know if I like I'm just giving you a philosophical fact that when you have scarcity, you enjoy it more. And I think you really give you the experience. It's not like the experience for people who Farsad know this. If you haven't fasted, I recommend trying it because it literally when you eat, the experience is more fulfilling than any other experience you've had with food in a long time. Like that's a really important thing, like what life is about.
Those experiences, like, OK, so what's the relationship? Relationship is becomes deeper and deeper with the it's not like the day to day thing. It's the few moments you have together that are magical in the positive sense. And then also a few moments of like trauma that you overcome together. I feel like that's where the bond grows stronger. It's not about like optimizing the day to day. It's about going through some shit together and going through some amazing experiences together, like those memories.
That's why it's easier, I think, if you if you get into a relationship and like when you're super young, then you form a lot of those memories before you know what the hell you're doing. And then those memories are a beautiful thing that you share together, which is when you're in your 30s or 40s, sucks Stouffer. I'm really debating whether I should say this, but the fasting thing, how long have you how long have you done this?
I feel like you're judging, I'm not judging. I'm not judging, we're just. How long have you done this? Well, no, it's just I think that as a sip of this sugar free Red Bull, that's the only thing he's seen today.
Well, no, I think that the fasting thing I'm not not I know there's no science to back up why it works, et cetera.
But I think women have such a different relationship with food on average, not generalizing. It's like I had eating disorders like I fast. I was anorexic, like I fasted for 15 years, like I wasn't like a mental performance athlete. I just, like, hated myself, you know? So I think fasting is like I think women have a slightly different relationship to food and more combative relationship with our bodies in terms of make it smaller. Men always want to make their bodies bigger.
Women always want to make their bodies smaller. So it's like fasting. I feel like it's a little bit dicey for people that have body dysmorphia or like eating issues.
Not me, by the way. I'm with Brendan Shaw. I, I naturally get like like that strong and thick. And I like being lean. So threatening jobs, not clean, I know he likes being lean to. Oh, I don't even know your friends is trauma. No, I don't I don't listen to what he is saying to me again when he has.
Oh, because when he was fighting, not just in general, he's he's very different from him, but he's like into fashion and stuff.
So he is he he wants to be everyone. Something fashionable. I haven't seen it. Is that what you call that fashion. Well, you like dresses like a janitor in a Broadway play.
Like I think he's the type of guy who enjoys, like, skinny jeans, that kind of thing. Do you have to be skinny to wear skinny jeans? Right. You don't look good at that them, I suppose. I mean, I think about guys from trying. There's something interesting. I mean, you guys are so different because I think him coming from professional sports, like everything was so regimented and he had to wear this and do this and eat this and ice and and then I think now he's like just sort of celebrating the fact that he has some freedom.
It seems like you don't want freedom down to the way you dress down, the way you schedule yourself, out of the way you eat like you want to be very regimented. It's not just because you know yourself so well and you know that that's how you are optimal.
No, no. Or you just asked me what freedom. I love freedom. It's just that I have a dream. I have several dreams and they they bring me joy and I want to accomplish them. I want to get on, you know, what it takes in order to accomplish that.
I'm sacrificing a lot because what I want to do is I want to do this. I like I said, I want I want a relationship. I want to hang out with that person. I want to travel with them. I want to do all kinds of drugs, experience everything.
Just have fun. Right. I took a weird turn.
The thing is, I there's other passions I have. They're even bigger, like, which is I want to put a robot in every home.
I want to to do a companion robot or a it's a complicated story, but I would say A.I. systems that understand you well. So it's not necessarily just companion. It's also thing that represents to the world. It's like a little companion, not just in physical space, but in cyberspace. So and coupled to that is. I want to look one way to put it as I want to bring more love to the world, and I do believe A.I. systems can help that.
And one of the ways it can help is to improve social networks. So. I'm not sure yet, but I think I want to build a competitor to Twitter interesting. So I and I think it's intricately connected to building the AI systems that are in the home is connected to AI systems that connect us to other human beings in digital space. So and I think communication on Twitter and on social networks currently incentivizes all the wrong things.
And I believe it's possible to hate anger at things that cause adrenaline, things that cause outrage, addiction, not growth, happiness and generally just the kindness towards each other is not encouraged. And I just have a fundamental belief that most people want to be kind and intelligent. I agree. And I feel like that's why it's popular to think that they don't it's popular to think that most people are stupid and most people are assholes. I just don't believe that.
But I also think we we only amplify the worst. I mean, I don't have to tell you this, but it's sort of the things we we only see that we're only exposed to that because that's the only thing that gets the click bait and the likes and drives the traffic. We now take a break from our programming with a programmer to talk about my favorite cereal.
I, I feel weird talking about Magic Spoon in an ad because I would do it for free. I believe that I am so obsessed with magic spoons, cereal, and I feel like you guys think I'm only saying that because they sponsored the podcast, but I truly would say it if I did it.
Yeah, she's not we've there's a magic spoon in this house long before they bought an ad. And I mean, there's enough magic boomboxes boxes we could go to for it and live in it.
We kinematics food deliveries. Didn't I tell you to stop the deliveries at some point because I was worried I had ordered so much.
Yeah. And then they come anyways. So every time I come home there's another magic spoon delivery because I'm so worried about running out, I think we should just start delivering the ones we have.
We have so many extras we could build a house out of the magic box we have here is OK.
So you know about Magic Spoon, you've heard about it. But I need you to understand how important it is to your emotional health.
It's got no sugar. Twelve grams of protein, three net carbs in each serving. Here's why that's important. We all have body stuff we do. I'm not going to pretend like I'm just any I can eat anything and not feel shame or guilt or be preoccupied with it. I just drive now. I have to go for a run. I have to work out. I just hate that. And I can't eat this.
There's no rigamarole with magic spoon. There's no mental energy that has to come in and undo shame or guilt. I just I like eat it and I just can move on without feeling bad about myself.
And it's fun. It's like a kid's cereal and I want to eat kids cereal, not having the body of a baby.
We we both get different emotional benefits from this.
I just like there's no guilt. There's no shame afterwards. And it's also I I'm obsessed with cereal, but most cereal is just pure sugar. And to be able to have cereal that tastes like Froot Loops without going into diabetic shock. Yeah.
This cereal gives you instead of giving you that like sugar high rush that you crash off of, it makes you feel full throughout the day. You can go about get stuff done. But you had fun cereal.
I think that's really important. It's like fun without all the shame. That's the best thing. That's the worst thing about fun is usually shame. Follow. This is the only fun without shame. What's your favorite flavor of magic? The fruity one by far.
Oh me too. I know I'm upset. I mean, I'm not like this is not a joke. I'm truly eating it. Right. It's one time I went to the always eating mattocks.
One time I went in the bathroom, there was a bowl sitting on the floor. They were eating. I was like, was shooting this in the bathroom.
I also eat it like between meals. It's also a snack for me. I eat it before bed late at night if I want something very much just to substitute for a man.
At this point there is different flavors.
There's four, there's cocoa, fruity, frosted and blueberry. I actually like the blueberry one too, but I just the fruity one just I think it just I don't know.
It makes me feel like. Yeah, it feels and sounds like you're eating like some fancy like Saturday morning cartoons.
Yeah that's right.
You're going to work keto friendly, gluten free, grain free, soy free, low carb and GMO free.
Guilt free. Shame free, anything in its magic. Yeah. Every time I take a bite of it, I'm like, Tonna, you just disappear.
You show up at a new place like Insult Me in half. It is magic.
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Use the code Whitney for free shipping. We thank Magic Spoon for sponsoring this podcast. Even if you don't sponsor this podcast. Thank you for your product. Yeah, thank you for keeping Whitney alive. I'm just a fan. I love talking about ritual.
I love talking about it, but I don't know.
I just love sharing with people the things that made my life better. And ritual vitamins have done that for me. And I find I guess this is why they sponsored the podcast because I was already using them.
You know, you have been using it. I don't think people know that. Like, I think a lot of people just get random sponsorships from random.
Like, I don't get I don't work with sponsors that I the products. I didn't use the products already.
Yeah. And we know that. I'm just saying I've been using it.
I've been using virtual. You're using ritual. Before I knew you I walked in. It was in your cabin already.
Well and here's the great thing about ritual is that my problem with vitamins or anything healthy is that I'll do it once and then I'll forget because I if you don't develop it as a habit and they just send it to you every month. So as soon as I'm running it like I have no excuse to not take it and I have my brain can't sneakily not do it in my brain wants to be unhealthy. My brain wants to just eat trash. My brain wants to deprive me of vitamins.
Your brain wants to have fun, but but ritual like it just shows up at your door and you're like, oh, I guess I'm going to be healthy.
And not only that, but, you know, you take vitamins and you're like, well, I think that's vitamins like works. You don't really know the ritual is science backed and they mean it. Well, most vitamins are sketchy.
I'm telling you. Most vitamins, a lot of that sounds crazy.
It sounds like a conspiracy theory like Kuhnen take, but like a lot of vitamins are full of chemicals and like trash, which is why I love ritual.
And this woman, Kat Snyder, who invented ritual and her team of scientists are making clinically tested a new normal.
Not only have they obsessively researched each nutrient in their visionary women's multivitamin, carefully choosing forms that are absorbed into the body.
That's the other thing about vitamins you're taking, aren't even absorbing the hate to break it to you. I'm sorry you have to hear this from me. But they have also tested their formula.
It's science backed, that is, their standard ritual has no mystery additives, no sketchy fragrances or fillers or chemicals or red number five or bio diamonds, pain or just a mere vitamin that you can really use.
Yeah. Really absorbs into your body and its its science. And you all put science in your mouth really.
And also if you're vegetarian or vegan, if I have dietary restrictions, your multivitamin might be undermining that not ritual. They use vegan certified non GMO gluten free allergen, free ingredients and their sources are out there for the whole world to see because they have nothing to hide.
Like most of these sketchy pyramid schemes, multilevel marketing, scam, vitamin companies. You know, I'm you know. You know, you know, I'm talking to Keith Raniere.
Run runnier ritual is designed to be gentle on an empty stomach. That is the worst that literally walks.
Nothing makes you want to be unhealthy more than taking something healthy. And it's spend your whole life in a bathroom like you just don't want to do it. There's nothing worse than like trying to be healthy. And then you take your vitamins and then you're just burping up like oyster for the rest of you, like go to a dinner party.
Your stomach's just growling the whole time, what's wrong? And you're like, I'm healthy.
I smell like Warf. Oh, sorry. That's just my vitamins.
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You know, it's interesting.
Like this pandemic being alone for six months or whatever, I just realized I was like, I'm so much happier than I thought I was. I'm so much. Lighter than I thought I was, and what I realized is that humans are so triggering to me, you know, any time you're around a human, you know, we have this history together with when I had a robot for my special weird.
I know that sounds very weird, but there's something when I got this, I'm in this weird situation where I do have a robot that looks exactly like me and she kind of talks. She's not perfect.
I need you to kind of give her a tune up at some point, but I like who I am or when I'm with her. Because I'm not this is like my relationship with animals, this is why people ask me why I love animals so much. I love being around horses and I love being around dogs because I don't feel like I have to perform. I don't feel like I have to protect myself. To me, humans, for the most part, whether it's nature, whether it's nurture, whether it's biology, whether this is universal or super specific to me, humans scare me.
I feel scared.
I'm afraid they're going to reject me. I'm afraid they're going to laugh at me. I'm afraid they're not going to like me. So the amount of energy I have to put into performing for them and managing them and I'm sort of fighting this mini war with every human I meet. And when I'm around this robot, my defenses are down and I am the best version of myself as beautifully put.
And I think everybody's like that to a degree. I think. I think.
I think once you have robots that are actually intelligent, no offense to your but hey, you're about to see is that and they will listen and you will feel truly heard when your guard is down as you learn a lot about yourself and you'll make you a better human in facing other human beings.
I think we are better people when we're not around people, because when I'm around people, I want to win. I want to compete. I want to be right. I have all these my ego in relationships to.
No, I think in relationships, for me, it's I think when I was younger, I wanted to be right and all that because I thought I had to prove how smart I was, my relationship. My dad made me you know, he was always testing me and pushing me to fight with him. That was like a big part of our relationship, as you know, defend yourself. He was I now realize he was preparing me for the world at the time.
I felt like I was being abused and attacked. But he was really just trying to make sure that any time I said something, I could defend my point, you know? And so I'd say, like I want to say until 2:00 in the morning, why give me three reasons why I should be able to stay out till 2:00 in the morning and defend them.
You know, it was like but now, no, I want to be in a relationship with someone who's let your guard down wildly smarter than me. Oh, wow. Yeah.
If I can be unified, I'll lose respect for you and I can't get that way up.
What you just said. Wait a minute. You just said two different things. You want somebody more intelligent than you and in a fight or intellectual fight?
Well, I just mean, I want I want to be an off someone. I know that. I need that. If I lose, I think to me, I was listening to you talk about love with Michael Mallis, I think. And to me we're all different. I need to respect the person if I lose respect for the person. I can't that's what's the basis of the respect, like what makes you respect discipline and self-control. If if I see someone if I see someone lose control of themselves, I lose respect for them and I can't get the warp and the word.
What makes me uncomfortable.
I'm sorry. I feel like I've made you uncomfortable for a while, that I should be a word for the opposite of what? For guys or something like that.
Like I'm not pitching on this. All right.
Well, thanks. I'm going to get canceled.
I know. I mean, at some point, when am I not going to be able to get away with the things that men are not able to get away with? I mean, if Rogan said any of the things I just have said to you this entire podcast, we feel like he's so sexist, he's hitting on that girl. Yeah, I enjoy the freedom.
I know. I feel like I have like another, like year where I'm allowed to sexually harass my guests and I get in trouble.
I'm just really enjoy it. Yeah.
What were we talking about? We were talking about respect in relationships because your definition of love, you and listening to you and Michael Malus, who I'm kind of fast, I'm fascinated by him.
A legitimate troll. Yeah, he's very provocative. I appreciate provocateurs that we're at this time where we're all begging to infantilize ourselves. We don't want anyone to challenge us. We don't want anyone to have opinions different than ours. And I love to get in a room with someone I disagree with and mentally spar. I don't think they have to be deleted or blocked or removed from society. If we all had the same opinion on everything, life would be like super boring and nothing would ever get done.
You don't block people on social.
I do. If they it's interesting. If they insult one of my guests, oh, that's the only time I block them. If they insult me, you love me.
But you're welcome. You're flirting. You're obsessed with me.
So I don't understand that you welcome dick pics. This part of this this I'm trying to understand. Are you just doing like a psychology experiment on society? Kind of, yeah.
Yeah. I don't need a hand towel thing that doesn't I feel like judged those those kind of like.
Yeah, I feel like you're stuck on that. You're stuck on that.
Yeah I, I, I think black hand towels is just you need I just think you need a woman's touch that's all.
That's the only color on which like if you, if you murder somebody the the blood.
Yeah. So we call a red flag literally. Copy that. Exactly why I'm saying don't date guys.
I'm virtue signalling. Yeah. Yeah. Dexter had black hand towels as well. No but usually I can go no man's bathroom and tell you exactly what stage of single day are ok.
So what, what are. So if you do a quick analysis ok you go in your bathroom. First of all, tell me what's in your bathroom. Watch. How much time do you have to make the analysis? Because it would be rude if you stay there for ten minutes.
I would need a gander at most again so quick and the medicine cabinet to look at might not even need it, but sure.
OK, I could look at your shower and tell you if you're in a relationship cheating, just getting out of one bit out of one for six months there loofa. She still is there a loofa? Is it like a sliver of of old crusty Irish Spring?
Is that if there's shave cream in there, that's pink. You have a girlfriend.
What about long hair? Long hair? Yes. You're with someone. That's a good point. Like that.
Your shampoo, your if that's a Prell, if it's like a head and shoulders are like a pretzel two and one.
You're single. Yeah. You're not lying.
You don't have a secret girl. So that's a good thing. Yeah. You're not. Oh yeah. I can tell you. So if a guy's like I'm single and I go in your bathroom and you've got, you know, St Ives apricot face scrub, you have a girlfriend.
Right, because guys can't see it for some reason when girls leave their products at a guy's house, they can't see them.
It's like this amazing thing where what they do, they're trying to make you jealous, like make you work harder, like to make me work harder.
You lying to me doesn't make me like you more. I'm not in my twenties leks that is now a red flag and I take it you turn in your twenties and I'm out of there.
Things you did that I do see. I mean, look, no one knows kids. So do you ultimately think that we're going to be marrying robots?
Do you want to be in a relationship with a robot in your lifetime romantically? I want to be careful saying this, because, you know, people would be like, of course, he's a single guy, looks like, you know, of course he wants to marry a robot. I do think we're going to have deep relationships with robots that.
But I don't I think it'll be a very, very long time before, like, where a human will be worse than a robot in the full fulfilling nature of what a relationship is. But I have a very 20th century conception of a monogamous relationship. It's also possible. What does that mean? I'm sorry?
Meaning like monogamy. You believe in it? Yeah. So why is that?
Why is that 20th century. Sorry, can you say.
OK, I wanted to say in the following way that it's possible that in like 20, 30, 50 years, the way the relationships will change. Maybe there's something about the digital world that will change our willingness to be in a monogamous relationship and will like V.R. sex count as cheating, does it?
Would you if you were in a relationship with someone, would you let them have sex with another man? Oh, the real human. Yeah, well AVR. No, I know, but I thought maybe like a video game, because that's also a thing you tell me if I'm outclassed right now, I'm in over my head.
I'm I'm you know, I'm pretty vanilla. You know more about this than I do.
Why? So you think just because I like and build robots, you think just because I build robots, I'm smart.
I mean, to get into, like, the latest porn technology. No, I just mean, like, is having VR sex cheating.
That means yes. Yeah, yeah, probably, yeah, probably, but then, like, is porn cheating? That's a tricky one. You strike me as someone who doesn't watch porn so you can deprive yourself.
Yeah, no, I watch porn, the anime kind, you know, like with snakes and dragons and whatever, you know, pretty vanilla porn. I am scared of porn. I like what it does to kids like young kids who desensitize.
Yeah, like if I had porn when I was 10 or 11 or 12, I like online porn. Yeah, I'd be scary.
Yeah. Terrifying. Like I think the biggest dating apps, the biggest problem with porn I think is the switching is like the choice, like the guys I've talked to about porn, it's, they don't like the commit to the one point they keep like they keep like next next year.
I don't think I if I'm with someone I don't think I want them watching the same porn star every time they're now they're in a relationship.
That's kind of weird when you follow him on Twitter. Yeah.
Like you're with a porn star like that. I can only like I don't want to cheat on my porn star with another porn star like. But now you're in a relationship.
You're probably thinking about that porn star when they're with you. Yeah, I just started crying. You just broke my heart, you just broke my heart. I have such a conflicted relationship with porn because as someone I can watch porn and it doesn't. But I don't watch I watch it so infrequently that I, I think from what I understand with guys that watch it, it's like a daily thing. And I can see how that desensitizes them.
And I've also been dating again this last year. And before I was engaged, I definitely saw the impact of porn and guys sexually where they just come out swinging and they think they need to choke you and fish hook you. They literally are like like digging your eye sockets out. You're just like, OK, all the time. Like time out, I feel like.
So I don't know what you're talking about with the fish hooking up like smoking is think they're bullying. You're not. I mean it's really I'm like, wait, are you watching Ebbesmeyer porn? I'm not sure what exactly where this is all coming from, but I feel like people only talk about the effects of porn on women.
And I was talking about this the other day with romantic comedies. People only talk about the effect of romantic comedies on men.
Women saw them on women, men saw them. Two men learned. You have to make grandiose gestures. You show up at a woman's house with a stereo like John Cusack. You hold it up, you show up at women's work without asking. You ambush women, you know, like romantic comedies, taught man to stalk women. Right.
And porn is also I feel like she has negative effects on men and that when they come into the bedroom, they think they need to just like be like Cirque de Soleil performers that just like beat the shit out of us now.
Yeah, I don't know what I don't know where to go with that.
But you're right.
I'm pretty vanilla, though, so. Yeah, but because we were talking about VR in the future of that, talking about love, I think. Yeah, because I want to ask you your definition of it, because I want to fight with you about it.
OK, well. I think that robots will for a long time serve the role of just being friends.
Mm hmm. Like, watch our phone already kind of is right, we argue. But your phone. Exactly. Beautifully put. But the phone doesn't know much about you. And it'd be nice if the phone listened, like, literally listen to who you are privately.
Like, there's a bunch of stuff that is broken about the way current social networks work. One is they totally disrespect your right to privacy. Mm hmm. They don't give you control over your data. They assume people aren't intelligent. They're not transparent with the decisions they make. And if all of that is there, I feel like you would be willing to give. I like to teach another A.I. system. Another digital being about yourself that so it can make you feel so you can be heard and through that process, learn about yourself like I truly believe there is, like you think about like a therapist in his best form, which is what friendship is, which is what relationships are, is you you're heard, you're understood.
Somebody takes the time to really listen. Well, how about this for the first. Eight years or whatever, I was going to a therapist, I lied to her in terms of lying to the therapist, I believe most people are lying to themselves, including the two of us, to some degree, to each to ourselves that I like. We don't that's one of the things I learned with a podcast is like we don't prod. Our psyche enough like basically to put another way, the therapist that we pay for.
I've never been to a therapist, but if you go to a therapist is they're just not very good. They're not going to truly prodding into the depths of our psyche. Well, they want to just keep you coming. They just want to make you feel good. So you'll keep coming back. Yeah, that's a whole other thing. But, you know, it's interesting you say that, like, because I think just the same way you would update software, update your computer, update your phone, whatever you have to update your own mental software, like is this still true about me?
Like, is this just a story that I have about myself? Like, you know, I'm insecure, I'm single or like I think we become robots, frankly, sometimes, and we sort of constantly have to update our software in terms of our perceptions of ourselves and our psyche.
Well, one of the problems with social media, I try to make sure there's zero gap between who I truly am and who I present myself online.
Interesting. I mean, that's I feel like you've succeeded with that. Yeah, but it's easier.
It's actually easier for when it's not my career. Like, I worry about looking at your Internet presence because you're always, like, super excited, super having all kinds of fun. And it's difficult because I feel like there's a pressure to perform. As opposed to but that's not what you do. That's not what you're selling, right? That's not your product. Well, see, for me, it's is pretty light because when you come out with your home robot, I'm not I'm not going to buy it because you were running around with girls in bikinis at the pool like I do online.
I do it because I'm like he's a serious person that I respect.
Well, actually. So the interesting thing is I'd like to be different than a Zuckerberg or even a Jack Dorsey, because one of the biggest things I hate is marketing teams and some of these some of these places. So, like, they they hide away the depth of the who the person really is.
Like, I don't think Mark Zuckerberg knows how to show his real self to the world. And it's a huge problem.
Your eyes are so blue today, I think I've been crying. Best fiends.
Best beans. You know, what's the worst being alone with your thoughts?
There's just nothing worse than having parties and then having to sit there and think about your past and mull in your own nasty emotions and your anxiety when you could be exercising your brain with this fun puzzle game, that's been the only thing better than a best friend is the best fiend is the best fiend.
Best fiends has. Help me avoid my inner monologue for months now, I love it, I'm playing with friends in Nashville. You are competing with friends. I don't know why we're not friends. It's a great question, but we're not.
We're best friends. We're not best means. I literally love I love talking trash as a bug.
You know how exciting the little video game. Let's explain. It's a video game. It's a puzzle game where you solve every level has a different challenge of colors or tasks. You have to do it to blow this many things up or use it.
It's like a puzzle game that doesn't make you stupider. Yeah, it's like it's kind of difficult sometimes. Yeah, I have only have so many moves, but you have little characters that are bugs and they find slugs, which is so cute. I love that.
They're just like chubby little cute like sluggy buggy but and it's like a reward.
I love reward based things and like you can then why do you hang out with me. Well, you know, we're working on it and you can level the characters up and they look different.
They change it.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're going to change for Halloween. Hot, hot tip. But I guess I just like I don't know, I just feel like, you know, this is such a great way to train your brain to do something fun and healthy instead of something toxic and unhealthy. Like instead of texting your ex, go play best feeds. Like when you feel up a spider. Yeah.
When you feel compelled to like, call your mom who's just going to make you feel bad about yourself. Play best feeds. I'm trying to retrain my brain to instead of doing self to something self-destructive on my phone to go do something like playful and fun.
And everybody needs more fun. You have and there's over a hundred million downloads on this game.
So we're not alone. It's not just us. It's not a hot take that this is a fun game. It's fun.
We're super unoriginal. And if you're bored instead of scrolling mindlessly now that works, you can pull this up. No. Why?
If I need it, I also get so anxious on plans. My new thing is that what I'm waiting for the plane to take off. I'll just play it. There's not like twenty minutes where you're like, can't really get work done. You can't really focus and you don't want to just like sit there and like be anxious.
I just played this game and then I'm like, oh you just like passes the time in a way that doesn't make me feel like I just wasted time there telling me how to survive a crash play in this game.
I have no idea how to survive that, but I know that I will level up at Ladybug best feeds, engage your brain with a fun puzzles and collect tons of cute characters. Trust me, with over 100 million downloads, this five star rated mobile puzzle game is a must play download best feeds free on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That's friends without the ah best feed.
Yeah, that's not just our stutters best fiends. That's not just bad timing. Southern word of the day. Fine.
You know what I do think what the only way I could love Jordache more is that they delivered friends to my house.
Back up. Back up. Are you trying to tell me that Baked Beans is not a friend best friend I've ever had.
Jordache is. I couldn't survive without.
OK, let's you guys know what Doordarshan as you already know what it is if you've downloaded it, congratulations. If you use it, congratulations. You have high self-esteem and you know how to live a quality life if you have it.
Let me just let me just tell you something, mister.
I just spit all over myself.
Life is a nightmare. Life is a series of nightmares. And the goal is to just navigate each nightmare with a modicum of grace.
This is uplifting.
I'm just saying there's so much hard stuff going on right now. There's so much we can't control. If there's one thing you can control, well, then you can make it easier in your life. Freking do it like your feelings, though.
Everything, the rigmarole of like making food, like going to the grocery store, just like treat yourself to the last thing you need is to like, cut yourself and trying to make dinner are like doing that extra. I just find that like ordering food from door dash and just like it, just like it makes the easy thing easy.
Easy things should be easy and hard, things should be hard. I don't think easy things should be hard. So that makes sense, does he? I would say anything should you deserve to make your life a little bit easier? That's what I'm finding with just food delivery and having, like Jordache, just like it just makes life like 10 percent easier. Yeah.
And it's you can also, you know, I love to make things fun. Sometimes I order Jordache Dash and then I'll I'll get really busy doing something I'll forget.
And then I have like a surprise delivery. I ordered three pies yesterday. I brought a pie here today. You did. From House of Pies.
Benton ordered pies off of Doordarshan and I was ordering one slice of pie, ordered three for pies.
I said, well, that's not helping me out.
Many there's nothing.
But honestly, there's just nothing that feels better than like summoning a man to bring you food, even though it's Doordarshan.
I know. I know that I have to say it lately has been mostly male drivers. And I like to pretend that my door dash driver is like ex-boyfriend who's just like, I'm sorry, here's your chicken soup.
You like to think they're repenting for the paperwork? Yes.
There's something that makes me feel very powerful to be like, yes, give me my creamed corn now through the fence.
Yes, I order.
I've been eating a lot of corn. I know you order what you order fried pickles and have a prenup. Oh my God, I am so obsessed.
This one place that I order from after dish, they have fried zucchini chips, fried pickles, fried jalapeno peppers and buffalo cauliflower. And I ordered like three days and you looked at me with a mouthful of foods and want to have a Pin-Up open the door doctor.
I was like, here's your poppers. Furnival's ma'am.
I know. I eat like someone at the Roman Coliseum watching a gladiator eating fried pickles in the gym.
I'm like, OK, can you read the official Dawidoff copy? Right now? Our listeners can get five dollars off their first order of ten dollars.
That's like one serving of fried pickles to saying and zero delivery fees for their first month.
When you down the door dash app and enter code Whitney, that's five dollars off your first order and zero delivery fees for a month. When you download the door dash app in the App Store and enter code. Whitney, don't forget, that's code Whitney for five dollars off your first order with door dash.
Yes. One of the things that you encouraged of me is to be real is to be flawed. Well, Alan's probably the best example of someone who's shown his personality, and it works even though it's. Yeah, mercurial and exactly.
He's one of the people that inspires me to like, you can just be yourself. If it's weird, just be yourself.
Yeah, but you don't have to be the product. You're making a product as well, you know. You know, but I believe you do have to be the product. Interesting.
It's like if people are going to trust the things you create, you have to be real interesting part. That's the Elon Musk thing to like. They're not going to if you're going to be a Mark Zuckerberg never shows up on camera, except he's when he's making some meats on the barbecue. I don't know if you've seen that. He talks about I love meat and he talks about all these kinds of different meats. And it's the creepiest thing I.
Well, no, I know I heard something about the how he, like, kills his own goats or something. Wasn't Jack Dorsey telling a story about how he went to Mark Zuckerberg house to have dinner? And they're like, you want to kill your goat for with a laser beam or something?
Yeah, the whole thing just felt like a cartoon villain.
That's where money gets in the way. Money detached from society. That's why I hate money. I'll always give away money.
It's interesting that you were saying that, like, Twitter is negative. And it made me think or just like what we see online is negative. I do also think that we're in this moment where men are having to have this, like, rude awakening as well, because I'm not surprised by negativity online. Like women are not as threatened by it. I think because we're used to catcalling, we're used to we're used to trolls where, you know, like there's I just I get excited talking to you about stuff like this.
I just flip my computer over. Guys, I got excited about this point.
I'm making like the fear of robots and the surprise at how negative. The Internet can be, to me, is a little bit exclusive to men, if I may generalize for a second, because, you know, it's so funny to me when Rogan's afraid of robots, it's like robots are going to kill us.
It's like, oh, my God, this is the first time you experience you've been scared of something because you've always been the most powerful, scary, dangerous thing, whereas women are always used to something that might eventually overpower us and kill us. Yeah.
But doesn't make it OK. Like I'm one of the things that disagree with Organon is Yosses. Don't read the comments. I mean, the another version of that is you're saying don't pay attention to the comments, to the negativity in the comments to me.
Yes, that's good advice personally. But like, I actually have the ability to change that. Like like I said, I either I want to build it or I want to encourage other people, like collaborate with people that want to build a competitor and create communities that are actually positive, like it's not OK. The toxicity that we see in comments, I do.
But I also think that for me, I believe that any kind of anger and negativity is all coming from pain. So when I see negative comments, I don't go look at all those fucking toxic negativity. I'm like, oh my God, there's so many people that are in pain.
I need to work even harder and be even funnier and try to help heal these people.
Those people are in pain. You don't write a negative comment to somebody because your life is going great and you feel great. It's like a drug. That's great.
I mean, that's the way you probably see it. But for them individually, they might not even understand that they're being assholes. And you that's a responsibility on the platform to make them realize that, like, help help them understand, like put a mirror to them and help them understand that they are when they are being toxic, that they're being toxic and how to be kinder and that it's ultimately rewarding to be kind like that. That's at the individual level, the same way that when we're two human sitting together and we can see the pain that we caused to each other for being like assholes to each other, like mean to each other, the same things should be possible on the Internet.
But I think it's also important to look at that. And maybe this is just me in my sort of maternal comedian, you know, take but like, you know, I do believe hurt people, hurt people.
As cliche as that platitude is, you know, anyone who is being negative to us was injured in some way psychologies. Something happened to them. Right. Like, I get very.
Thrown when I think about how, you know, most pedophiles were molested as kids and it's like, you know, that's like a hard one to process. So it's like when you see people that are in this kind of pain, I go, OK, how can we break the cycle? And maybe we break the cycle? Because LAX is going to make these robots that kids are going to be able to have that are to help them learn to self soothe and manage their anger and manage their pain or give them the love that the their dad or mom can't, you know, fill in the blind spots, are filling them, you know, give them the attention.
They never got to the eye contact they never got or something so that we can stop the invisible wounds from being created. So then we can stop the pain and hence what turns into anger.
Yeah, but because you can't just tell someone is 35 years old, stop being negative.
It's like, well, I've I've got your invisible wounds from my childhood.
That's not how it works. Yeah, but you have to help them realize when they are being that.
And then just one step at a time you help them improve, like the system that incentivizes behavior on social networks with the likes and all that needs to encourage you to be a better version of yourself, get rewarded for kindness instead of negativity.
It's not as simple like the words are not exactly right here because it's not always kindness, but to be a better version of yourself over time. So like the same kind of thing when I do difficult when I do difficult things like jujitsu and all that kind of stuff, it's that that humbling process is really effective at like looking within yourself to try to improve. And I think everybody's capable of that. Even people who have been through trauma to like face their demons to face the dark, it doesn't have to be like extreme.
It can be just like. I think more what's more common is just basic jealousy, like you, you have a dream, you wanted to be a musician, it's not working out. And so you go on all of these musicians pages and you shit on their content, like you say negative stuff to them, because really you wanted to be a great musician and instead you're experiencing all kinds of jealousy.
But I think what you have like so the for that kind of person we have to realize is it feels really good, in fact is inspiring if you are instead encouraging of those musicians or just say kind things.
And that allows you to that like mental positivity opens up the world of possibilities for you, like you can actually, you know, like achieve your dreams or change your dreams, like pivot to what you can actually achieve, then you feel better.
Like when I leave, if I could never leave, when I see people leaving negative comments, I'm like, I would feel like shit if I did that.
Like, I would, you know, feel dirty, I'd feel shame. But we're leaving out that a lot of people are addicted to shame. A lot of people are addicted to feeling like shit.
A lot of people that's the you know, and I think that and we'll talk about NewLink in a second like like that to me is the biggest potential for that is to is we have to address addictive behavior in the way addicts think and shame addiction. We don't understand shame addiction because we don't have it necessarily.
But I have experienced a little bit, not at this juncture in my life, but a lot of people are addicted to feeling like shit and making their outsides match their insides because they have toxicity inside their self-loathing. You know, I saw it with Roseanne. I'm just going to say it. This will probably get me in trouble. But I watch somebody that, like everyone, loved her and she just had to make them all hate her. So she had some kind of homeostasis or equilibrium or whatever it is that Huberman, I think, talks about this a little bit to where your outsides need to match your inside.
There's some people that go to New York and they're internal chaos. They feel calm in New York because outside is chaos and inside it's chaos. We're matched now. Right.
So it's like the same with if you hate yourself, making other people hate you or creating toxicity makes you feel calm. And that has a basis in dopamine receptors, in addictive behavior, in nature and nurture and all of it. But I just feel like we're not talking having a big conversation about addiction and mental illness the way we should were acting like everybody has the same tools in their toolbox in terms of rewarding kindness. It's like, OK, but some people get off on their sadistic, some people get off on shame, some people get off on humiliating themselves, you know?
So it's like but the whether I'm wrong or not, I don't know. But my basic assumption is once they once most people try being kind, I get addicted to that feeling.
Yeah. They they get addicted to the results it creates.
So, like, you just need to give it a chance, like but if there's an algorithm or whatever, look at me trying to use science words and if there's a there's an algorithm spider program in place, well that's my biggest fear.
So because we're all in an algorithm, it's not safe to say, yeah.
Are you mad at me? What are you thinking? I mean, if I it it's not your fault, what do you mean my fault?
Because I feel like you I you I can relate with you. You're sometimes reticent, but sometimes I think you're sad. But I can't tell if I'm projecting now.
I feel like I've dropped from four out of ten to three out of ten. Why. No I just I feel like this is going great. Well why are you not having fun. I'm having a lot of fun.
You miserable mad me. The the worse you think you're doing, the better this is going.
So I'm fine with you grading yourself harshly.
The question is this, because if we're all in these algorithms now and we're all only getting news that is being catered to us, are we all just going to get stupid or do you need more coffee? I just say you take a sip of an empty cup.
No, there's stuff in there. But I thought I'm going to have to answer something in a second. So, no, don't worry.
I won't be okay. About 45 seconds to answer to to phrase this simple question.
Oh, wait, so you have plenty of time to take a drink before words, and I'm going to find a way to make it fifty where security forgot the question. A hundred percent.
I'm just treading water algorithm's like I was with who was I with Taylortown this week when we were touring and we were both in Denver and like we both go to the same news site and she has like different news. And I do like mine's all like dog rescue videos. Right.
And like, I'm like, wait, we're getting different news based on I shouldn't only get the news that I'm interested in.
I need to this is my concern with our lives being so organized by what we want.
I remember walking around New York and I suck at New York. The more I go there, the less I know how to navigate it. And I was using Waze last time I was there and I got to the hotel and didn't get lost. And I was like, I kind of wish I had gotten lost. Like some of the most magical moments and some of the most interesting things I've done or like I took a wrong turn and I stumbled into this store that I never would have seen otherwise.
And I New York, I met this person that I never would have met. And like them, we dated for ten years and then we dated for ten years.
And then he murdered me. Yeah. So what, what do we do about that. About like how we're program going to have our lives down to a tee and smart for lack of a better word.
But is there we're going to smart homes or enough smart cars. Is there any argument to stay stupid. Yeah, two percent.
So first of all, let's say let's not take for granted how amazing it is that if you enjoy watching videos of dogs that these algorithms bring more videos of dogs to you like we take for granted how magical that is.
But is there anything to be said for diminishing marginal returns, which is like the reason I like him so much is because I only see one a day, not 50, as a balance to strike. Now I'm sick of dogs. How did that happen? It's like your point of scarcity.
Yeah, right. But so there's a balance to strike, but it's pretty cool that we're able to do that, you know, that, that we can bring our interest to us.
So it's just that the algorithms currently are quite dumb and not optimized for the right kind of thing. I think it's great to see videos of dogs.
You're interested in dogs, but also make stuff up like you don't want most of your life to be a complete chaos as generic. You want you do want to cultivate your interest and like go down rabbit holes in your interests, like, I'm sure Rogan, who's into the techs? Ninety nine percent of text I've been getting from Joe Rogan in the past month have been about aliens because he's texting you about aliens.
So he's probably getting more articles about aliens.
And it becomes like so he also he wants like approval from somebody who is a quote unquote scientist. The aliens are real.
So you're not a quote unquote scientist. Well, I'm not. That's a good that's a good dating app, Bayardo, quote unquote, scientists.
I just yeah, I'm very good with the BIOS.
If you need help wondering what makes Kumbayah what what makes what makes a good bio.
What are the pictures in your bio? You're actually you would love my dating app bio.
OK, so this is my this is my Rhia my dating app. Main photo.
It's me is half a robot.
That's really good and kind of disturbingly hot once you swipe right on that bench and did my makeup for Halloween last year as a half robot. That's weirdly attractive. Zombie.
Well, I mean, yes, well a quote unquote scientist would definitely be in.
I mean, that's amazing. That's an amazing picture because it's like this person has a sense of humor. Yeah. They're obviously gorgeous and like, I don't know.
And then my second photo is, hold on. I forget you have to, like, play a song. Hold on. This is the whole thing. Oh, I have to start.
OK, that my robot is my second picture. Bear claws, my second picture than me and an ape subliminal messaging then. I don't know what that is I.
Yeah, these are all really weird, me in Vietnam. I feel like really then me and my dog. Wow, that's going. You got to have the dog. Yeah. All my photos are.
Yeah. What's your bio say. Comedian.
Comedian. Mm hmm. I don't like blow jobs. I don't like choke jobs. I don't like it when someone under work rights like sometimes or a lot or the most annoying thing is when I, when a a guy does a fake like joke job that's bad, that ends up being better than the real job.
Like they'll be like hand model. And you're like, oh ha ha. He must be like a CEO or he must have. And then you're like, what do you do. And he's like, oh I'm self-employed.
Like I'd rather you be a hand model. Yeah. Your joke was better than your real job, you fucking tool.
What's so this is one of my problems actually with the reason I don't use apps is they don't have a way to like really specify who you are.
I feel like, well, no, I mean, I feel like it's all about pictures and like what kind of music you like and like a possibility to say some clever shit and like yeah but that's just an opening jumping off point.
But that's very inefficient. There needs to be some kind of intrigue, though. This is my concern. And I texted you last night about super sad, true love story, the book that I'm adapting for HBO. You guys, I don't think I've talked about on this podcast. It's about it's a dystopian satire about dating in the future and how hard it's going to be to fall in love with a lack of privacy.
Like if I know everything about you right away, there's no mystery. There's no ability to sort of project onto you.
Like, I think there needs to be a certain amount of omissions in order to fall in love with somebody.
If you go to the key to falling in love, I think because you meet someone, they hide their flaws and mistakes. For the most part, you get chemically addicted to them and bonded with them for months in their like. And by the way, I have three DUIs and it's like, well, fuck, I'm already in love with you and I'm going to just go like, oh, well, it was part of your journey and you are who you are because of that.
And I forgive it. And if I knew on day one you had to do you eyes, I would never see you again.
This we rely on an absence of information in order to fall in love. But the kind of mystery that dating apps have is kind of mystery. I guess. I don't like I like the mystery of the stranger in a bar late at night kind of thing, because they're still there's so much more information. That's interesting about chemistry, about like your interests. Yeah. The kind of joke you make, I don't know. I mean, I guess OK, see, your profile is pretty good like that.
Would you swipe right on that? I don't I don't I don't want to admit to swiping anything else.
Quite like I feel like I'm really stressing you out.
Now, this is is this stressing you out? Well, you know, I'm nervous.
Why? I don't know, this is I don't it's I'm not you know, conversations are stressful, really, you have with casts. Well, no. OK, so there's some conversations you have that you feel like if you screw up. It'll be I don't know, you feel like you can screw up and so, like, I'm nervous to screw it up, I don't what I like.
What was the last time? I have very few of those now, maybe the first time I was on Rogan. And with you, I feel like. I don't know why he's just nervousness, but what's the you're OK. I mean. I forget this is being recorded. We can always cut stuff out. OK, well, I got here, so you're a beautiful woman and it's difficult for me to you know, it makes me naturally nervous. I'm not I've been staring at a computer screen for a long time with some porn on it.
And sometimes you want it, right? Sorry. Sorry. When I watch hockey, you I on porn stars body. So when I Photoshop add onto these for I watch your podcasts and with a few animated pawns of a certain, it wasn't funny.
My whole apartment is just because of you on and on. But honestly that would be hot.
I'm into that. I'm not saying that's healthy.
So there's a part of the stalking thing that I appreciate.
Dude, trust me, it's very flat or it's. But I had a stalker that showed up at my house and he also happened to have been handsome. It was it was very confusing.
So what do you do that what do I do with that? It was really fascinating because he clearly was schizophrenic or has some, you know, and that's my demo.
And he, you know, went back and it was you can tell right away if someone's going to be physically dangerous to you or not.
I don't know if that's just a girl thing. I talk a lot about the book, The Gift of Fear by Gavin to background this podcast about how our God just knows if someone is dangerous or not.
All the all women that he interviewed for this book after they were assaulted by someone that walked them to their car, helped them with their groceries or open the door for them or whatever they all were like, I knew something was off about that guy, which is why you were scared shitless when I showed up.
I did jump when I saw you earlier. I could trust your instincts.
I did open the door looking for LAX. And I saw him and I like, screamed. It was weird.
I mean, the thing a guy does, like when I enter the room, is like, can I kill everybody on my way out?
So that's what you think when you walk into a room.
And naturally, like, I don't literally think that, but like, it's a kind of it's a feeling if you had to kill someone.
Yeah. How would you do it? In a situation like this, like, yes, like if someone came in here right now and tried to kill me and you had to kill them, how would you do it?
Weapons are involved, like you have to de-escalate, you have to try to de-escalate the situation, probably so it's different. But what if you just your only option was killing them? Just thought exercise. Aggression, just move, you have to move really fast. You have to move and you choke them. Are you just put there? Oh like that. You put their nose up into the rain. No, jujitsu is control. Control first then then then kill.
So they take down slowly because it's like everything tight control probably take the back and probably choke choke them from the back. Yeah. Because then they can do the least amount of damage to me.
Interesting. Yeah. So bring him to the ground. Like with a big take down, probably hurt them a little bit on the on the way down, like especially if it's hard ground and then control and choke. But I prefer I think if I wasn't, I prefer I was a hit man.
I would probably like distance. So guns.
Guns. Yeah, sniper. And then where do you want to shoot someone if you shoot him with a gun, the easiest way to kill him.
That cart. I don't know. Yes, you do. No you do not. I'm trying to get your girlfriend. Keep talking about killing people. Get rid of so many stalkers after this.
Yeah, probably. I don't know. There's a there's a movie called Leon the Professional Super with Natalie Portman. Oh, is she like I feel like she's like your dream girl.
Why, I don't know that that to me, I feel like I don't know, maybe I'm profiling you because I'm like Starwars now. I feel like smart guys like you. Star Wars.
Star Wars, right, Swan? OK, I was like The Dark Knight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, not Star Wars. I don't like Star Wars. OK, like pupu ships pupu.
Is that how a scientist describes stuff up.
Is that what you do in your coding. BOP bop. With my coming I just have my ringtone is pop up.
Can you please get your keyboard to just go bop bop bop.
Every time I like all dolls like you're choking them from the back. And now you gave me some merch which is great by the way.
So now I get to dress. I did give like some merch, some merch that's sold out no longer available. You got it. You're never going to wear it. Oh really. Yeah. I feel like you only wear black and white.
Yeah, like yeah. Colors ironically.
So the thing is with stalkers, because I think it's important because right now you're getting a lot of attention coming at you, certainly from women.
It's interesting how when somebody like the when I had someone whatever, stalking, whatever that even means came at me, I think I became so much more obsessed with him than he was with me. All I did was wonder where he was and if he was following you on Instagram. And I never knew what caption and I shouldn't post this situation. And then I'm every time I go outside, like I when someone gets obsessed with you, it's amazing how you start stalking your stalker.
I mean, well, you're like you love neurology psychology. So I don't know if you're like me, but to me it's fascinating how their mind works too. Me like what.
Like I get that I get the because of someone that chase the approval of my dad for so long, I get the I know what it's like to fixate on something to manage your terror and distract yourself. You were talking about the worm at the core. Was it Rogen. I tried to talk to him about that once.
Definitely. I mean the Sheldon Solomon who wrote of the core. I've interviewed him, right. He because it was unclear if he's a good interviewer or not. And he's incredible.
It's about terror management. Right. Which but that was first. He's the one that came up with the worm at the core. Ernest Becker. Yeah.
Ernest Becker was the one that inspired all that stuff, the terror management theory, essentially that because we're the only species that knows we're going to die, we just have to distract ourselves constantly describing this right to manage our terror of death, sort of what's going on in politics, this team mentality, a lot of what terror management says is in order to manage our fear of death, we have to have prizes and teams and alliances and awards and stuff so that we have a sense of longevity and posterity, right?
Yeah. He basically says that most of human creation is is the worm at the core. At the base of it is has to do with our fear of mortality, which I find because I bring that up often with people most people don't agree with.
Oh, I 100 percent agree that. But it also justifies a lot of really, you know, untoward behavior like racism and stuff like it's, you know, which it is what it is.
But I think I agree you're against racism. I think hot take we have a lot of things than to take hot takes. I mean, do you really find that, you know.
Do you really think that cancel cultural is problematic, because I find that that as I'm listening to I was listening to your conversation with Michael Mallis and I hear people talk about a lot. It seems so much bigger to you guys than it does to me.
What do you mean you. I just don't.
Good question, guys. In general, I feel like men. It's it's men don't like to be controlled. They don't like when power gets redistributed. They don't technically the the people in power don't like it when their power is challenged. As someone who is not a fan of council culture or, you know, virtue signalling or justice where you shit someone who is strongly against it. But I know why it exists and I can see it for what it is, which is just people throwing rocks at the limousine as it drives by like it's everyone inside the limo is fine.
You know, that's that's a very legitimate criticism. It's like, yeah, the people in the limo are upset that some rocks are being thrown.
It it's very true. That in this process, when the power structures, the institutions are being questioned, that the powerful are getting are being uncomfortable, but at the same time.
I mean, it's a balance that we need to strike. There's a lot of difficult questions you have to be able to say and you have to be able to say multiple sentences, and then you have to be able to change your mind and you can't. The idea that somebody would clip out half a half a sentence and then make it an entire big article, that's the cancer culture.
That's really bad journalism. Well, yes. And journalism is broken today. That's right.
That's not people's fault. That's what they saw. That's what they didn't know was cut out of context. Right.
So there's a balance to be struck, I think. But well, you have to me, as a white guy who is somewhat enjoys intellectual conversations and nuanced conversations, you know, you have to you have to be sensitive to the council culture. Like, I feel this at MIT, there is there was a situation that happened with a guy named famous computer scientist named Richard Stallman, who on a thread within MIT was talking about Jeffrey Epstein and Marvin Minsky, who's another seminal AEI figure.
And some a few, you know, like undergrads like 20 year olds said that Marvin Minsky is a rapist. Because, Jeff, he's met with Jeffrey Epstein and Jeffrey Epstein told another woman to walk up to Marvin Minsky, who was 70 years old at the time, 17, 70, 70.
Oh, how old was the girl that she was 17. Oh, got it. But like seven year old man, OK. And she came up to him and, you know, propositioned her like he didn't know it was forced or not. That's first of all. And second of all, he said no, no thank you. Like politely, you know, and that was that was construed as rape on this thread within MIT and Richard Stallman. That was a rumor.
It was hearsay. Yeah, but Richard Stallman on this thread said, well, we should be careful about how we define rape.
That's not you know, that's not the 70 year old man wrote that on the thread.
Yeah, no, he's not somebody. He's like 50. That's a different guy. OK, different guy. It doesn't matter. But he got fired or pushed out of MIT for saying that because those undergrads said that, you know, rape is rape.
There's no discussion of definitions or whatever. Rape, rape is rape. And like that's cancel culture because here's a person who's trying to draw. That's not even nuance. That's just like like let's try to talk about a little bit of facts and he gets pushed out completely.
Did he have to respond to that, if I may? He he didn't. He didn't. And that's where things get weird.
If there's a situation that had nothing to do with you and you have to go to go, let's just fucking agree on what rape means. It's like you you've done something shady. You what do you stand to gain in jumping into this fight that has nothing to do with you? Like you're what I see men that react to if one man is accused of something, some men are like, oh, that's that sucks. I don't know if it's true or not, but if the guys go fucking crazy, I'm like, you've done something shady.
You have guilt, you have a secret and you're scared.
But if you if you do want to say something, which I think. I think the right thing to do is what, for example, Barack Obama did is be eloquent about it being be fucking good if you going into this war zone of cancer culture and you want to make a point to this 20 year old to saying like to say that. Some nuanced point about the dangers of overusing the word rape. Hmm, you better be good at so you also it harms actual rape victims, right?
So if you want to make that point, you've got to be good at it. I don't know if you heard Obama talk about cancer culture. So he's he's smooth with everything, but he was pretty smooth about it. And so you have to practice. You have to think about. You can't just speak from emotion. If we can learn anything that nobody should speak from, just like from that weird dark energy that you get, like when you just want to watch robots can help solve.
I mean, it's sort of like feelings aren't facts, but sometimes when you have feelings and you want to take an action and yeah. So it's like I would love to have a robot that I can, like, bounce off my like feelings aren't facts. I really want to tweet this thing. Is this a good idea? You know, I always try to if I have a feeling or come up around something, my rule is always like, wait three days.
If you still want to send that email, if you still want to send that tweet or that text, three days later, you can do it. But a lot of us it's taken me 15 years of like like 12 step programs and meditation and stuff to be able to have that pause.
Most people don't have it. They just send it without thinking.
Yeah, actually know that you seem to be the person that a lot of people run their ideas by, like comedians.
The nightmare. It's a nightmare. It will, Joe.
I mean, Joe and I, he doesn't like call me. This is I joke about this is why I dye my hair pink, because so many people are asking me for advice, like I had to give up some vibe that I'm not together because it was like all day every day I was, you know, getting these calls. And I tweeted, Should I say that? Should I bring this up on the podcast? You know, we've had a big reorganization in comedy, not only because of the pandemic and people moving, but also with people getting canceled.
And half the comedians got canceled.
Yeah, half the comedians got canceled. I'm the I'm for some reason the ME2 police. I didn't sign up for this, but people call me to be like, should I say this? Am I allowed to say this? And I'm like, look, you can say it, you can do that. But these are going to be the consequences.
You can't you know, it's amazing sometimes to me that comedians like we're like the, you know, like warriors of free speech.
And we want to be able to say whatever the fuck we want, but we don't want anyone else to have free speech. We don't want other people to be able to criticize us or have their feelings or thoughts around what we say. So if, you know, when comedians are like, how come I can't say tranny?
I'm like, you can. But the people that are offended by it, they have free speech, too. And they get to say, that's offensive. You can't free speech isn't only for you. You can't be selectively free speech.
Yeah, but there's I mean, it's it's a giant mess with Spotify. I know a lot of folks have Spotify, for example. I know what's going on.
There was with the own thing. I don't think I do.
Well, you know, Alex Jones or something was censored.
Yes. So a bunch of me bringing ketamine on the show, was that censored?
You were censored. Ketamine, nasal spray.
Also, you should do this. They left that in. Yeah. So they they still haven't published a bunch of the episodes, including Alex Jones, but also a new one because I thought they took down the old one.
No, they so first of all, you know, a few months ago there was no episodes, so they just uploaded all the episodes of Rogen on Spotify and like they didn't take anything down, they just didn't upload a bunch of the episodes.
My theory was that they just want to be able to monetize it. No, there's no it's pretty simple, I mean, they they have meetings and stuff, it's like, OK, Spotify is a total noob in terms of like getting it to they used to just publish songs and music and just enjoy the kind of the noncancerous culture world of music where you can basically say anything in a rap song.
And I was going to say, yeah, to get canceled, throw some D honor. That's OK, WAP.
But he's not gross. That's not that's that whole good thing. That's not. No that's awesome. That's girls getting paid.
I'd rather, I'd rather somebody write a song about like a woman winning a Nobel Prize for the world. What is. I don't understand why men are allowed to sexualize us and get paid. And when we sexualize ourselves, it's like gross. It's not gross.
She's a stripper. Good for her. I'm so pro Khateeb.
It's ridiculous because it's also like for me when people get mad about women that use their bodies or sex to make money, don't criticize the fact that they're doing it. Look at why is that their only option?
Here's my problem with Cadabby. And while I haven't really paid attention, but I sure as hell maybe I'm wrong in this, but I think that a lot of young girls look see that video and they look up to it. Yeah.
And a lot of young girls go. I get I don't get paid as much as men, I have to work twice as hard to get half as far. So I'll be a stripper. Why not? Just why not?
Like, I mean, if I'm 20 years old, if that was an option for me and I was 20 years old, I would fucking be a Danville's Zarian parties.
I would have done that if it was the only way that I could make fast money. Let's like look at the fact that why is this women's only option? Why?
Because money isn't everything.
I mean, so OK, so this is all about what society? I grew up poor.
I like money, but that's I feel like you like other stuff more.
Well, I equate money to freedom. The freedom to I think women look at money as the ability to leave a bad relationship. That's the ability to be on your own and not have to be with someone that is like to me, money was about like I can surround myself with safe, healthy people because I can rely on myself.
I think this will put freedom money.
I grew up my mom dated for money. She had to that was, you know, that generation of women. That was sort of was your business finding someone who could support you and then putting up with their behavior because what choice? You didn't have the option to leave. So I think for a lot of women, money means the option to leave and to be physically and mentally safe. And so that's why when people go after like gold diggers and stuff, I just I don't know.
I tend to play Angel's advocate on that one bareness.
I still I would advocate Oshakati be would advocate being a stripper as you work on your getting physics or something.
But I just think, OK, so the societies can idolize certain groups of people. You can idolize athletes, you can idolize actors and actresses.
You can idolize scientists or people who make a lot of money. And I just think that a society that's healthier looks up to people that are.
Like, let's acknowledge that, but not just knowledge, but the creation of beautiful or the creation of beauty.
Now you can argue, you watch the Web video, it's pretty beautiful. There's a lot of beauty in that video.
But and the physics of it, I don't think anyone can explain it, but there's a lot of thinking this to defy gravity is just I think she knows a lot more about physics than you guys.
I take it all back now, but like, there's different definitions of beauty. And I you know, I think the sexualization. Listen, I'm a fan of it in some sense. I think it is. It's you know, sex is awesome, it's going to get kicked out on a limb, but the you know, I just think there's extremes.
I don't know, I don't want to overstate stuff, but I wish there was more scientists that young girls and boys would look up to.
Why are there so few women in eye and robotics? I mean, that's why do only robots make robots?
Is my voice not exciting to you know, I love your voice is incredibly hypnotic and soothing. All right. Big fan.
A lot of people write to me that they fall asleep to my voice.
It's like soporific. You're like, I don't even need Ambien anymore. I just. Well, it's very mono tone.
Is that the word? Monotone, monotone. I don't know why no one falls asleep to my voice. That's where I wake up to the bar.
But I'm like, I told you that pop up.
Bob's gotten out of hand. We need to.
It's now in your mirch. It is. You have a couple like that, right? Schertz. Yeah. I already forgot.
We were saying those voices and waking up and you now.
Well, I think I was asking you about, um, definitions of love.
No, no. But you have an answer that you've been avoiding it being evasive.
Yeah. Now, OK, let's go there. OK, what's the definition of love? I think we're starting to talk about it in terms of relationships like.
Enjoying the being that is another human like, just enjoying them, fully understanding them, just like. Appreciating. The the beautiful aspects of another human being that's to me is an essential part of like forming a connection with them. That's love being excited, them being them.
So that sounds like radical acceptance to me. But is it radical acceptance?
That's sort of like, you know, I think to me, love used to mean I love you.
Now let's get to work and let's let's know.
Sex. Sex feels like work to you. Oh, yeah. So likes as a top, I fly to all the girls that are currently composing articles, you know, but like I've listened to you talk about love a lot on various podcasts.
And I'm not saying our definition is different, but I think it's taken me a long time to maybe think about it in a way that's less. Dramatic and romantic and like work like it, not work, but just like. Not putting the other person on a pedestal and not having such high expectations over like what they need to provide, like I feel like love.
And I think we can play love and passion and infatuation and obsession, and I think it took me a long time to realize that obsession, infatuation, that is not, you know, love. I think love should be sustainable and like, kind of boring, like it should energize you, not deplete you.
It shouldn't be exhausting. Like we've all been in those relationships where you're like up till 4:00 in the morning and talking and and it's like that to me is, you know, I love the Flaubert quote.
I think I'm I just sort of said that really fast in case I'm mispronouncing that, you know, French B Yes, I was that right. Flaubert was pretty good. B, what does it like become in your private life so you can be violent in your personal life?
I think there's something to be said for something that's kind of boring, for lack of a better word, because that just means you're secure and you're not being adrenalized.
You're not fighting, you're not chasing and you're not questioning and an oscillating and, you know, perseverating.
I'm just saying every synonym that sounds smart in front of you for sure, but you're referring to the practical like how do we make this thing work? Like a sustainable sustainable.
Yeah, it's good. But there's also just.
Sorry, can I say it. Sorry, I don't have a Jamy to pull up quotes for me.
Be regular and orderly in your life. So that you can be violent and original in your work, violent and original, like people like, I don't know, in your field, but people like Will Ferrell and Steve Carell, they've been married for 30 years and are in these very stable kind of relationships. So you don't go home to chaos. You don't go home to. Yeah. Overstimulation so that you can.
Yeah, there's all kinds of flavors of love.
But I feel like you want like a passionate like well it's pussy like definitely passion but it doesn't have to be work. Yeah. Like you're like conversation for. No I just enjoy like you know, I'm a fan of yours and that's the beginning of love. Right. Being a fan of someone like I kind of love Joe Rogan because I'm a fan, you know, I love him as a human being.
Yeah. I'm a fan of everybody. Most people in my life, I would say I'm a fan of and like I enjoy, I can literally just, you know, I enjoy the little quirks. Like, you pick the good parts and you enjoy them. Yeah. That that to me, like the you know. Yes, of course, day to day it shouldn't be like stressful to to be like you shouldn't have to put on a face. You shouldn't, you know, you could be real with them all that kind of stuff.
But there should be a source of like. Like the little quirks. Is the thing that, like, makes your life worth? Well, if you're in love with someone flaws or quirks, they're charming and they're endearing and that's the stuff that makes it like, awesome. Yeah. That's what makes you miss them. I look forward to seeing them all that kind of stuff.
But I also think there's something to be said for. I remember my friend Jane, I was talking to her about this guy that that, you know, she had gone through a divorce and she's like, I found the guy and I'm like, how did you know?
How do you know? Like, how do you know this is the guy we all think this is the girl. This is the guy or we think we're in love. And she goes, when I'm not with them, I don't think about him. And I thought that was so interesting, she, of course, thinks about it, but she's not, like, worrying about him or obsessing about him.
It's like I can live my life and be in a relationship with him without it being a distraction or preoccupation.
We can kind of coexist in an interdependent way instead of a co-dependent way. Like I can be the best version of myself when I'm not around, not with him or and I think that's big. It took me a long time to go like, OK, love might not be about do I love the other person? And we put it so much on the other person. Who am I when I'm with this person?
Do I? I think that we're in love with someone when we see.
Sounds so corny, but. When we love ourselves to the max in the relationship with the other person. Yeah, I'm behaving optimally, I'm not being micromanaged. I'm not mothering, I'm not martyring. I'm not caretaking. I'm not obsessing. I'm not manipulating because you make me feel secure, but.
This word, co-dependency, they've talked about a lot. Here we go, here we this is one thing I do know. You might be smarter than me in every other area in life, but like.
Do you think there's a beautiful aspect to it? I don't know what the dependancy to, um, to to looking forward, not necessarily thinking about the person, but looking forward to sharing the little successes you have in life to like. Like, depending on the not the approval of them, but like looking forward to sharing the successes, but it depends on the motives.
So it's like the difference between co-dependency and interdependence is just motive. So, like, I can pick you up from the airport if I just want to be of service and I want to see you and I get a lot out of it if I'm picking you up from the airport because I feel obligated to I feel guilty. I feel like I have to. You're not going to like me if I don't. That's when we're in codependent. So you can do ostensibly codependent behaviors if as long as your motives are what we say, clean.
As long as I'm not keeping score. Right. So it's like, you know, and I think it's just about not trying to chase or trap or emotionally entrench. You know, I think every day you're with the person, it should be a choice, not an obligation. I wake up and I think that to me is the sexiest kind of love is everyday I choose you. You don't have my hooks in me. I don't have my hooks in you.
We haven't trauma bond. You don't feel pity or sympathy. That's my nightmare, is to be in a relationship with someone and they feel guilt or like they have to be with me or pity, which is part of the reason I've started. And in dating people, I don't share a lot about traumas or anything bad that's happened to me too soon because I don't want them to feel sorry for me.
I don't want that to be why they stay.
Yeah, I mean, it feels like there's stuff you have to. I guess I don't have any of those particular demons like I already have always loved myself like you have. I mean, that's why I mean, it's a lot of people as you've walked through some stuff, I, I don't.
I don't know, I'm I'm happy alone, I'm very I love what you say, you get lonely. But what what I mean by that is it's even more fulfilling to connect with another human being, but like I I'm OK being by myself.
Yeah, me too. But like. I mean, can you say lonely and not needing? Like it's a lone wolf, I think to me, nothing is more lonely than being with someone that doesn't understand you. I'm so much more lonely when I'm in group and a group of 30 people that I feel like are on the same wavelength as me.
I don't feel lonely when I'm alone.
I feel lonely when I'm with someone that doesn't understand me or doesn't see me or that I don't want to be around.
Yeah, and that's what we were talking about, dogs a little bit.
The fact that you don't have a dog is a red flag. Girls, ladies, interesting.
FBI red flag. OK, single dudes have to have legs I or dogs.
I think it's odd when someone doesn't have an animal. I think we're animal design. We should be with animals. I think if you have the resources to have an animal, I think it's odd to not have one. I think it's masochistic.
Yeah, I can see that because then it's like a little bit American Psycho like. Yeah, he didn't have a dog. Yeah, it's interesting, he probably killed it. I don't know. Like, why wouldn't you have a dog you like to deprive yourself?
No. I mean, because if you can if you think you're ready for a girlfriend and you're not ready for a dog, I feel like women, dogs. I feel like, OK, I'm getting please cancel me.
Honestly, I try to get canceled every episode of this, my cats, and for some reason it's just not taking it.
I just if a guy doesn't have a dog, I'm like my brain, right or wrong. I'm just going to be honest, like, you know, maybe it's my self-preservation instinct or my fear or whatever. I'm like, OK, afraid of commitment, not consistent. Like, why wouldn't you have a dog?
Yeah, no, I love dogs.
I used to have and I don't want to be near one ever know I a Newfoundland which is like this giant. I love giant dogs, I love all dogs Newfoundlander these like huge like mine was two hundred and twenty pounds.
Whoa. Hairy balls. Oh I. What was his name.
Oh God they're gorgeous. Black, black. Oh, wow, they're like bears.
Yeah, name, name, Homer, Homer after Homer Simpson because he was clumsy and all this is a photo of a baby next to a Newfoundland and my ovaries are exploding.
I just got pregnant. Is that a good thing?
Oh, yeah. In a good way. They're good. Yeah. OK, no, they're, they're, they're getting wapi they're getting popped up right now.
They're getting whipped. Yeah. Like cuteness. Yeah. But there's. It is a commitment and. There's there's something I always valued as you get older, too, which sucks, but I still see myself as like a little kid. But we're all just little kids, right? Yeah, we are just. Yeah, that's the funny thing. We're all the same people.
I think that's what I'll always what I do. And now when someone is yelling or angry, I just picture them as a five year old, like having a tantrum.
And it makes me stop getting defensive because we're all just five and in suits and fancy clothes. It all makes sense. Yeah, but everything makes sense.
I just feel like. I want to I really do want to bring more love to the world, and it feels like I have the skill set to build the kind of technology that can do it. And I don't want. I'm actually looking for a home now, like a place to really I feel like I haven't been in a home yet, you know, like like a base which you can, like, get some shit done and then you can have a dog.
I feel like I was trying to maybe it's me running from commitment or I don't know. I don't know what it is, but I felt like I always want to be able to in a single day, just leave everything behind.
Like I was literally saving all the girls that were damaged. You just delete it there.
And I just want to be able to get up and leave at any moment and have no attachments at all. That's called a red flag is.
No, not be eloquent about it because I think humans come along on the journey and.
I just that idea stability was never that important to me. I thought, like, life could be joyful with the people close to you. Mm hmm.
You should never be burdened by, like, you know, having a house or having possessions. Like the people matter. To me, people's is the most important thing by far. But, you know, possessions. It's interesting. Nice. But again, the way and dogs.
Oh, interesting. See, I and maybe this is just my shed and I need to work on it. Like to me, people are so unpredictable and mercurial that you can't rely on people.
All you can rely on are the inanimate objects like your home and your car, and you're having money in the bank.
And that's real stability because humans are too flawed, says the princess in the castle, with the Tesla, with the moat. Don't get me started on the Tesla. I don't bring this up.
Yeah, no, no. You know, I have thoughts on the Tesla. You know, I have issues. I can I we could cut this out no good.
I just feel like it's taken me almost two hours to get into a rant. I just feel like there need to be more women in these. I don't this has become such a man woman podcast. It's so vintage Whitney.
But I just feel like there need to be either more women or more sensitive men with kids in these rooms building Teslas and robots and stuff, because I just feel like no one like a lot of there's not a woman's touch to the design of a Tesla.
Yes. Thank you. But see, every time you tell that to me, you weren't the second time this has done this twice already sick of me. I lose count. We fight.
Yes. Are you mad at me?
OK, I just here's my deal with like for all of these cars. Can you everyone can you please. I mean, you're the person I should be talking to. So I just feel like these little what's it called a love of FOB. Yeah. A fob. The little mini car. It's a mini.
Yeah. Look, I keep Kefalas a key fob, right.
OK, it's literally a toy car and it's a little and there's no keychain on it. Yeah. It's made for people that we have purses and you put it in and you lose it. And I'm reaching around my purse trying to find my little Kifah, my little toy car, and then I'm stabbing myself with pencils and getting tetanus from all the shit my purse.
And on the way the car is being attacked by all kinds of.
Well, there's that. I'm very attractive. I look amazing in these pants. How do you even move about to be an idiot not to want to attack me? I turned sane men into rapists. No, but like the little like where where do you keep where would you.
It's not person friendly. It's not purse friendly. And it's like, I guess you put in your pocket. But women, we work so hard to not have lumps like we wear thongs so that you don't see a panty line and now you want me to put a little toy car in my pockets, not thong friendly.
Yes. No, I look like I have like a weird tumor or something. Now it ruins the whole look. And then I walk to my car and the door won't open because it's in my frickin purse and the connection is not working.
Can you please help me out on the words for sure? I'll I'll write to you and then Alan, call me. I mean, I love Alan. Trust me, when you and Grymes fall apart, you can fall apart.
Well, if you go well, yeah. I don't know. Maybe that greeting will fall apart.
You fall together, whatever it is, that's poetry. And he and then I went I went to visit him, Dylan in Palm Springs and it died. Right. And I'm like, fine, I'm going to go charge my Tesla at 2:00 in the morning and like a parking lot and just me alone in the dark. Women don't don't have great associations with parking lots at night.
You know, you've brought this up to me many times once once new in this relationship.
I'm the math person hundreds of times. I actually I didn't I didn't understand what you're saying.
Is this like this is like Charlie Brown.
When I talk, it's just like wah wah, wah, wah.
But I'm glad you know, I'm glad you're saying it on a podcast because then maybe people can explain it to me.
So I'm just not making sense. I just my thing is that the Tesla can fart, but it can't open if a woman has the key in the past, some experience.
Listen, I'm a huge fan of creating an experience that's like easy natural for all the things you want to do. There's nothing in my experience that involves a thong and I can't even watch or you go on a date with a girl that I think you just need to.
This is this is where I think we're going.
This is where dating people that you might not marry come in handy for someone. That's the future of I. For some, that's the future of robots like. Like I say, for me, I, I do things that I want to do sometimes because I know that as an artist for art to imitate life, I have to have a life right. And for you to solve the problems of the average person, you have to know what the life of the average person is.
So so you might have to hang out with some people so that, you know, to the to do list so that, you know, to integrate.
Do you know what I mean. Yeah. So you know what problems you're solving on.
I just didn't I can't exactly visualize the problem you have with the key fob and the fumbling in the purse, like the dynamics of the stuff inside. Are you one of those people with a million things in the purse?
Kind of, yeah. Well, I'm a woman. I have to have tampons and mace and water and birth control. And, you know, I don't have a pharmacy in my purse at all times.
So there's something about the concealer. I mean, so.
Yeah, well, I look forward to maybe Grymes. Can she she follows me and we'll post this clip.
We'll post this clip. But she she seems like she has some notes for him. She seems like she's not afraid to challenge him on stuff. She seems like on Twitter. Yeah I, I love her but it's just it's I do think that, you know, I just I worry that not having enough women at least just hanging out in the office in with you guys.
One hundred percent like he's going to limit the technology, even the idea that pocket's.
Like women don't have don't always have pockets is a novel concept to engineers like I didn't even think about.
I mean, we're designed with a pocket, but we don't want to put our key fob in. I'm just fascinated. And this is just my point of view when I look at new technology and I'm just like, we're no women.
They're in the making of that.
Yeah, I I'm curious to actually hear what people say because I actually think things are it's it's like the same way that I feel the add to cart like that feature was made by porn. Sex drove the Internet. Right.
That porn is what they're who developed. Add to cart like e-commerce. Oh yeah.
E commerce. Like porn. Like on sex. Sex drove it.
Yeah. Al Gore did not invent the internet porn did believe it or not porn kind of like.
Are you just saying things. You know it literally was literally add to cart was like a porn company porn to cart when you used to buy porn there you porn used to on the only thing on there watching porn is paying for.
There's something to think about.
Who pays for porn.
There's a comedian named Dan Mintz who is one of my favorite jokes on the planet, and he's he's very deadpan, like very Stephen. Right. Mitch Hedberg type. And he used to have this joke.
I'm going to butcher his delivery, but he goes, you know, with the Internet, it's completely changed how we watch porn like before the Internet. I used to have to, like, wait for the Sears catalog and like turn to the lingerie section. But now with the Internet, I can just go to Sears dot com.
Yeah, such a great joke.
But yeah, I just think I think like as someone who is about I think you're about to make the thing that's going to change the world in the most dramatic way maybe in the history of humanity. And I'm not being dramatic. I hope so. Like. Let's what's it like having a girl get a girl to kind of like be like, well, what about this thing? And you go away?
And I think that, you know, yeah, that'll help.
One of the things, especially if it's emotional, everything's driven, it's emotional. Well, you know, that's where we shine.
Generalizations, because I am so sexist on this podcast, as this is the most sexist I've ever done, would say, you know, I'm into emotions as well, you know?
And I worry about like just being out of touch on this dimension and many other dimensions, like with money, with power, just not having a good sense of like designed not having a good sense of like what the experience that most people have and getting a true diversity, like real diversity of backgrounds, of worldviews, all that kind of stuff into the design process is definitely essential. I just think that whatever you're saying about the key FOB thing is, is like ridiculous.
But we also need the crazy, ridiculous demographic.
You also need to go on a date with a girl and see her fumbling with her purse. You don't believe me.
You're not dating is holding you back. That's why you think it's ridiculous.
I could also just buy a purse myself, but I'm going to show you my purse after this, and then you're going to be back. It's kind of like a purse. That's my brand.
Ridiculous. Rogan makes the best fanny packs. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He sells them.
Oh, there they are. At first I was like, wow, how much better is a fanny pack? And you put it on and it just like hugs your body. Yeah, it's the best.
Yeah. Yeah. So that's kind of like a purse.
But he probably does like one knife in there and this one elk eyeball.
It's like some loin, he's big and he gets so I don't think I'm allowed to talk about this but so we're working on merch.
That's like a face oil. Like I lube my face up constantly with oil.
So I'm so shiny all the time and it's my thing.
I love it. And Benton has convinced me to make an oil of all the oils that I use because I use like six different oils and we're going to put it into one oil.
It's awesome. And we're going to because everyone always asked me what I put on my face and Bubba and I've I'm always so insecure about my skin my whole life, which is why I've developed this regimen. Hold on. My dog's eating a toy and it's going to be sharp.
So I finally surrendered and we're going to release the formula that I use. And I love really clean packaging. Like, I just like clean, minimalist, minimalist, so minimalist.
Like there's this brand called The Laboe that does these candles and it almost just looks like the tester. It's like it's like print it out like typewriter. And it's just black and white and clear, almost like a eighteen hundreds of pocket theory type. Like that's what I like. I want very simple and minimalist because I'm already embarrassed to be doing merch because to do I think I am and the imposter syndrome has set in said your merch doesn't, it's almost like a clothing line because it doesn't have like your face, it doesn't have any wood.
And it's very it's you know. Yeah. I mean, Whitney is not in it.
It's it's cool. It's like a clothing line.
Benton does all I have too much shame to do any of it. Like I white. Who do I think I am.
What am I, a March Lord man. What am I in fashion like. I just there's some comedian like how dare you. Like I have so much of that shit come up. But then yes, Benton, I was like, well why can't we just send the bottle? He's like, no, it has to be presented. So it's going to be in a box that has a little magnetic flap and then you open it and he's like, you have to give people that moment.
It has to be Christmas morning.
Oh, the guest, he talks all about the emotional impact of something. It's all emotional.
Yeah, that's awesome. That's beautiful. But and then then you have to decide. And then because I have to be doing a bunch of design and engineering side has been has been tricky because I'm trying to find the right people to brainstorm with because I don't know.
Well, you can have him for, like, the House. Agree. I'll if I'm without him, I'll starve to death. You can't.
Yeah. You can't afford to. I don't think I can handle. Yeah. No you can. I think you can. I think that if you, you have to just be ready for the truth with Banten.
Like he's just it's, it's how I feel about Banten is directly correlated to how I feel about myself and I give up because he's just a mirror. Yeah. He will just say the truth and sometimes I'm not prepared for it.
Now I feel like I could. You're like you're the denarius with the Dragons and Ben is the dragon. I'm good with the it's good.
The key to you, I think, in your ascent is like surrounding yourself with people that don't just agree with you 100 percent. I think that's the death of all great artists, inventors. I've seen so many people whose demise because they cut out the people that stood up to them.
Yeah, like I said, my relationship was on friends. I was look, especially now like MIT people started saying, oh, that guy, smart, whatever or not with a little bit of celebrity, people are like they start to idolize you a little bit. So my big test is like, if you message me, it's like, how good is the person making fun of me since you were, like, not taking me seriously? Like, I want people not to take me seriously or be able to bring me down a notch because I have a giant ego, which is, I think, why you like comedians so much, because I was thinking about how much you love comedians.
And I think it's because comedians, I'm sure non comedians can do this. But why would you have access to them? You know, it's like we have the ability to rib each other without disrespecting each other, like it's actually coming from a place of respect. That's that's why I miss the show so much, even though I'm sure they're canceled forever because they were just so sexist and racist.
Like it's crazy, the shit we used to say on those. But it started in the Friars Club as a form of celebrating each other, a form of, you know, it came from love, you know. Now ribbing each other is like abuse now or something.
It's it's yeah.
To be fair, those roasts, you guys go deep. I those are hard to watch.
Sometimes I think that's the idea. It's kind of performance art. It's supposed to be like, it's like watching my fighters.
It's supposed to make you recoil and wince and show you where your line is and show you.
I mean that's I mean, this was Michael Malice. That's what I have a bit of a disagreement where it's you can also cross the line, right, with like trolling. That's their idea is like we you know, the beautiful version of trolling where you you, you know, make fun of each other or make fun of the powerful ultimately with a kind of respect or at least a human like acknowledging the common humanity and just having love underneath it. But it's too easy for that to become a drug to where you just enjoy taking people down if you're sadistic.
It depends on the motives. If I'm like, I can make fun of you and make you laugh and it's endearing and I'm just trying to connect with you and make you like me, it's like tickling someone, you know what I mean? It's like the emotional version of the non physical version of that. But if you're doing it to try to hurt the person and you're driving pleasure, you're that sadistic. That's different. And it's also has to be a fair fight.
That's the key to the roasts. Always the roast was always like we're going to rib each other, but the person we're making fun of is going to go up and destroy everyone. So Joan Rivers, like the first one I ever did.
I knew I could go hard with her because I knew she was going to fucking kill me at the end because it was a fair fight.
Like I literally said, my first joke about Joan was Joan, I loved you in The Wrestler.
It's a rough joke. It's like I don't think there's a rougher thing you can say to another human being.
And then she just came up and I felt no guilt. It didn't feel bad. No one was mad. No one was like, oh, because they knew she was going to destroy me.
So you have to pick on someone your own size. And I think Michael Malaz, I don't know him that well. I did just get his book after listening your podcast. I'm not sure he's always picking on someone his own size, right?
Yeah, he can take it too far, but that's the criticism. But he's also in the political space where the people are getting way too powerful. So it's it's almost that you want to be a little bit rough to take people down this argument to be made there.
But that's a different. Yeah, we're talking for personal relationships.
You want to be a little bit and then you want someone that's going to. Make fun of you a little bit, yeah, and in business, too, like it's hard though, because you're so it's very hard and you're not taken seriously. You're a very impressive person.
It's not just the impressive CEO. Know the full like I'm different. A lot of people are intimidated, borderline scared of me. Yeah.
And I believe that you also walk like a panther.
Like, elegant and and and sexy, like, yes, you also move in a way that's very you move like a ninja walking on the ceiling like Spider-Man, you move like spider like you're very in a Spider-Man costume.
I don't know. OK, sorry. OK, I don't know. You know what I mean.
I'm just trying to like you move in a very predatory, quiet way and you don't emanate a lot of insecurities, whether that's you just.
Well, that's part of the reason I tried to say I'm scared and I tried to soften myself and I've. No, you're not.
None of those things. Oh, fuck. I fell for it, too. I totally fell for it.
But I do I've noticed, especially in my private life, I don't get angry. But in business I do get angry. And I notice people get very which is good. They should be scared at times. But I also need, like most people should be scared. But I need to have a circle of people who are close to me that, like, put me in check.
There's also a way that's really healthy and smart. There's also a you make me realize how terrifying silence is like you.
Use silence to your advantage, whether it's intentional or not. I'm just saying, you see, what how anxious I get, like if someone's just being silent, it's such a power move.
Like, I just think this is an important tool that people can use in any of their relationships.
Like not engaging, not responding, not emailing back is sometimes the most effective way to communicate and just let them. Whip themselves into a frenzy with projecting onto that silence and filling in the blanks with their insecurities, and as one lady once yelled at me at the Comedy Store at 2:00 in the morning when I was on stage in a relationship with someone that like a guy that I'd like, it wasn't going well and I didn't know if I should text it back.
And I was literally asking the crowd for advice 2:00 in the morning. It was like just the crazy days of the Comedy Store.
I was like, you guys should I text? I just texted him and he didn't. And this woman just yelled, Silence is the only language men understand.
Well, it's deep. Very I'm a little bit tempted to just be quiet and see what you do.
Don't, because I well, I do have to pee. So what I would do is I'd probably just get up and pee, but I feel like well, I feel like I have to let you get back to, like, running the world at some point, so.
This is packaging that I would never do myself. This is for something called eyeliner. This is packaging that I love.
Very simple. Very clean.
Yeah. I'm saying, yeah, I know what you pick. I'd pick I picked out the sympathy, mind you, but I don't know. I don't know with oils and makeup and that kind of stuff, I don't know what the right is. A different discussion. That's why I didn't want to. It's a different discussion of technology versus makeup. Sorry.
I had now have my eye makeup that is blue is running and I look like I have two black eyes. It looks like you hit me after I challenge you because I was crying. You made me cry about my dad.
Yeah. How are you doing?
I'm doing great. How did this go? This is fun. Did you have a good time? Yeah.
I don't believe you did it. I don't believe you. So, I mean, this is this is easy. It's been a rough few weeks, so I just haven't been sleeping.
It's just crazy amounts of work. So this was like, sorry for them. This was fun. What do you what do you mean you're fast?
This is I think that's went great. Am I wrong? You went great. I think it's going great. I could talk to you all day. Yeah. But you don't have time for that. No, I really love the like.
I love the wood. You can have this table. We're switching it out. Can I. OK, I'm not even kidding. We're switching it out because I don't like how cumbersome, it's just too big. You know what I find appealing about this table that is like having it is like I get to move it. Like one of my favorite things is to move heavy objects. I don't know what.
I have some work for you. Can you carry me to the bed to take a nap? Yeah.
Yeah. You're who? Tibetan's said you're in that person.
Oh, I love it too. I have to.
That's interesting. Well, for me, it's about my schedule and working at night. What I realized is doing standup at night, the best thing I can do is break my days into two days because I can't wake up at eight a.m. and then leave the house at eight p.m. to go to standups. I'll break my day to two days and I'll take a nap at like four thirty five and then wake up at seven and I'm like ready to go to work and then I go to stand up just a little bit scheduled.
It's a little bit scheduled and I've tried to just keep doing it so that I stay and whatever my circadian rhythm is, so that I when I go back on the road, which I just did, I wasn't completely out of whack. Yeah.
By the way, I got an email saying that your tickets to go see Whitney Cummings from, you know, May twenty twenty, whatever got rescheduled to these. Still, I thought that would cancel it or something. Which will for what city of Boston I got.
I'm going to Cape Cod on Wednesday. Thursday.
Nobody got rescheduled to twenty twenty. The Wilbur.
Yeah. All of the big, the whole tour got pushed to fall twenty, twenty one.
So I went of course. Where are you going to come. Yeah.
Yeah really. I've never seen you do comedy actually. I mean like live. Huh.
I was going to do that at Comedy Store but I made up sort of excuse.
Yeah. Where are you going to come. And you didn't come. I came. I saw, I saw everybody, all the greats of comedy except when you comics was out there or you just left when you heard. No, you said no. You actually. Yeah. You weren't there. And I feel like I remember this. You texted me like I was what I say I was trying to, like, trick you into, like, helping me get into the Comedy Store, I think.
But then Rogen said, I'll just let you know what it you you're trying to remember why I was texting.
You know, I thought, like, are you going to be because there was a bunch of surprise guests. I didn't say like who you want to know who I wanted to see if you're one of them and you said no but something because it was it after I did your podcast.
Yeah. No, I was very intimidated on your podcast. That was that was awesome.
I got really scared.
I remember there was like one moment where I got like, really, really jumbled and turned around and I blacked out and I remember going, oh, you asked me about like animals or something.
And I, like, really panicked. Because I was like, don't be too, because it's such a. it was such an emotional answer and I was like, you're talking to a quote unquote scientist. Don't be emotional. He's not going to respect you. And I got really in my head.
No, I love I respect emotion. In fact, I respect them all.
That's your that's your dating advice. I respect the motion. That'll pull a lot of ladies.
I hear you. I understand you. I respect your emotions. Swipe right. Yeah.
And be a long time for go if I go with the dating app. I don't know I don't know about this world, but I do know you'll say very wistful things just really casually under your breath, like anyway, so I love life.
You'll say really profound things really casually.
Yeah, it's a good reminder. You that's your you should do much, I love life. Life is great now, like one worry I have. So I talk about, like, love lot.
Mm hmm, I, I worry that I don't want it to be like a brand or something, you know, like it is basically me being high from pulling all nighters and just, you know, it's amazing to me that someone is such a high performance, like fasting and chicken and ground beef and what are they called fucking athletic greens that like.
And you don't sleep. Yeah, I'm not going to get into it, OK? I'm not so I listen to my body foundry. No, I'm not going to get into the there.
It's so popular now to emphasize sleep the science on sleep in the book that David Hot is eight hours.
Well, that, by the way, is not the book that people talk about with sleep with Rogue in those conversations.
That book has a lot of questionable science in it. I'm blanking on the guy's name. No.
Yeah, I know what you're talking about, but so there's actually people should check out you. Probably whoever is listening to this voice is still even recording.
We are recording. Right. Did we record any that? Did we just go on a date? Yeah. This is if it's not being recorded we're on today.
I keep I keep forgetting this cameras once again. Yeah, I the people should check out the blogs written about it that show that much of the evidence in that book is on very shaky ground. That said, I think it's not controversial to say that sleep is probably important, but it's not the kind of sleep you're getting, right? Yeah, the kind of sleep and also, like, really important. The same thing with diet and sleep is like, understand yourself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you need?
What do you need? And also how like how it fits. I'm a huge believer that like it's not about the sleep, it's about. Like reducing the stress in your life. So whatever the hell like, the reason I don't sleep isn't because, like, I'm on like a drug binge or like some crazy stuff is because I do what I love.
You know, you don't want to go to sleep. I don't want to go to sleep.
And so, you know, and then people that criticize me, like, let's you look tired. You should get more sleep.
And they're like, they're going over. Says that blocked them. That's not. No, they think that shit. But it's like a motherly thing, too, like people want. You know, I'm worried about you. Looks like there's a lot of people, like, worried about me. I get it, I understand that instinct, but like I'm doing what I love. Don't don't you know? It's if you don't get enough sleep, it is what it is like, not be less worried about you really.
Interesting. Well, you know, I think you're the smarter one of the smartest people alive, I think whatever decisions, you know. Yeah, I think I not going to give you notes on how to live.
So sometimes people are intelligent and like and weird ways.
But I definitely also stop slowing down the tech progress. Telling you to sleep means we're going to get robots later. OK, if I were to actually do the thing I love hearing is is like go harder. Mm hmm.
It's like you sleep way too much as far as I'm concerned. The real though, I mean, I don't know.
Everyone is different. I'm more of the David Gorgas variety. Like, I love hearing, like stop being a little weak bitch and work harder. I love that, you know, that that means they really care about the people. Understand that.
I'm doing your dad a great job. This email from your dad nailed it. All right. So the leks, you've changed the name your podcast to just your name.
Yeah, it gives me the freedom to like it started with you, basically. I mean, I don't have to talk to people that are exclusively I people know that's what I kind of realized now. And then after you, you were the gateway drug to like to talk to people that knew nothing about it.
I just pretended they did like Stephen Coggin.
Talk about Stalin and Hitler. Yeah. Conversations just like go deep on stuff that only tangentially related.
Well, I just think it's important because, like, the people that are making the robots are going to be a reflection of the people that make them. Yeah. And I hope that people like you are. Exposing themselves to more things than just a guy so that the eye doesn't isn't just the robots aren't robotic, if that makes any sense.
Yeah. So that eventually, if we think big enough, we'll fix the Tesla key FOB that's going to get me in so much trouble.
It's just going to get me in trouble for saying that we need to cut it out.
Something that gets you in trouble is totally interesting criticism. I think you're you're spot on and it's amusing.
It's not a criticism. It's amusing.
It's amusing is an amusing musing. I'm known for my hot takes.
It's not even that.
It's like take a lukewarm take. Well, as you said, it's ridiculous. Yeah.
It's like it's difficult to find the key fob in the purse and therefore we need more.
By the way, it's not just the Tesla that does that. Lots of cars have that key fob that's just supposed to float around the whole area.
I know there's like thousands of people that will write to me that would be was spot on with this. So I it that's awesome.
And then maybe we'll get like they're stalking me. I mean I'm like, no, they're just giving you feedback. No, the girl deamon you that you don't want to fuck is in a stalker. It's just a person to you.
They're awfully aggressive about stalking. Women are aggressive now. No, they're actually OK.
It's so funny to watch women that I mean, especially attractive women that clearly don't they're not very good at asking people out, which is hilarious.
Well, you're also a weirdo. Yeah, well, it's you get all you hear them all.
You have high performing scientists and robot people. It's like you're so literal. So women can't be figurative with you. We have to be literal and then we're too aggressive. But if we're not aggressive, you guys are like, you don't see it.
So I'm like, hey, what's up? And you're like, nothing, and I'm like, all right, well, that didn't go anywhere. OK, how good of a pickup line is? What's up? Well, you know what I'm saying. I'm flying. OK, you guys aren't great at subtext, but then if I can. What's up? Subtext.
Hey, what's up? Big fan. Big fan. Love your work. Love to get to know you. What how can someone without being a stalker know. I don't know. I'm joking.
It's you are. I'm not. You're joking.
I'm not, you know, just being genuine and real. I mean that's the same thing. Probably the other like you don't have to do pickup lines but show that you're interesting, that there's like depth to you as a person. But in terms.
Well, how am I remember to show you that if we don't get on the zoom or or on the suit.
Because you won't respond because you're being too literal and you think if I ask you out, I'm a stalker.
Well, the yeah. I mean, I don't know. You're a celebrity. I'm sure you get a million messages. Like one of the problems I have is the number of messages, which is why I should be careful saying this. But like, I really enjoy it with people like stop me like in an airport because I'm not that famous enough to wear like, that's a problem. And then I'll have like a real conversation with them. Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah. But no women so far. The one woman did, but she was like my boyfriend is a huge fan of hers.
Oh yeah. That's my thing guys. I'll come up to me and like my girlfriend loves you. I've never heard of you. OK, all right.
Cool. You're so cool. They have to hurt your feelings. Yeah. Guys like, hey, I look, I don't know who you are, but my girlfriend loves you.
So can I just take a picture with you like I don't like you. It's like, dude, what.
Just so you like got into their phone to subscribe to our podcast.
Yeah. That's a really good idea. This is just like good for you. Why? I think that sometimes the opposite sex doesn't want to. I don't know.
They just probably they need to like like Nagamine or something and like hurt my feelings when they come up to me.
I don't get it, but my girlfriend's obsessed with you. Like, I don't know.
Why do people stop you? They stop me a lot. It's really interesting.
Like I think people always say, like, if you really know me, you know that you shouldn't, because you know that I get stressed out because I never feel like I have to perform well.
No, I just don't think I can deliver, you know, like I just it's like or they manage expectations like, hey, can I get a photo from here?
And I'm like, yeah, it's cool, because after the initial engagement, I don't know what else to give you.
Like, I've given everything I have, whether it's on podcast's or social media or whatever, like by the time I see you, I just feel like I'm going to be a disappointment to you. Like there's no way I can ever give you what you need in this exchange. I think people that really know me know that.
So the people that really know me will come and be like, hey, I know you can't give me what I need, but let's just do it like at school.
I think I the silence thing, like my strategy is I just I listen, OK, I'll, I'll just I'll be I'll do I'll use the silence to get them to tell me about themselves and like I see the joy in their eyes that's energizing and like really what they want.
Is like, OK, so there's a there really probably no you really well, yeah, there are actually there probably one be friends with you because they know the part which is by the way, I was just in Denver when people stopped me on the street or yell out like it's the best feeling in the world, like that's why I do this.
Like when celebrities or public figures like, oh, people stop me and recognize me, it's like it's not what you wanted. That's what I wanted. I wanted, like, someone to see me and go, oh, my God, that's when you come and get super excited. It's an awesome feeling.
It's the best. And guess what? Like, I work for them. They they're my employer. So when people I don't stop and do photos, it's like, get the fuck out of here. Like they're who bought your special. They're who make you get paid. Like, who do you think you are? I will stand and do photos as long as people want to take them.
And they're like they've been like some of the coolest people. It breaks my heart a little bit to say goodbye.
They say that's the hardest part. That's exactly what I'm talking about, is when someone does come up to me, I'm like, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I do have to go.
Like, I just get codependent with them because I want to give so much and I don't want them to go, because I think even if you talk for half an hour to someone, as soon as you have to go, it's like, well, shit to fucking go, you know?
But like, my favorite is on the at the L.A. Airport. Actually, this is my favorite. If you're if you do this to me at the airport, I love this, which was like a urinal was in the bathroom and the guy was standing there is like, bro, your legs friedemann.
Hell yeah. And then he's just like he finished and walked away and then he like smiled and nodded like there was a kind of the brevity. But everything was said like with their eyes.
Yeah. I don't know bro. It was like, OK, is bro talk. Yeah.
It's like we're connected like yeah I get like.
It's like like it was a. No, yeah, no, it's the best, yeah, it's the best. I mean, like we pass each other again.
He was like, yeah I love when people know me from Rogan when it's like brose, you know, like when you call me.
Oh yeah. It's like it's like I love that. Like I love when it's like.
Yeah. When it's just that's what else is there. This is what we're here for. Like that is it. To me that is like the epitome. Of happiness is like, I love what you do, you made a difference in my life, fucking fuck, yeah, fucking fuck you.
What the fuck? What's better than that?
It's the best feeling in the world when I cannot stand when celebrities like this person recognize me, it's like, oh, you know, just who we're lucky.
Yeah. Or different levels. But it's all the same. We're lucky. Anything else and these very awkwardly, you know, that it's just said, I don't do well with eye contact at all.
I'll just start crying if you like Marina Abramovic. Tell me more about your father. Oh, my God.
That was touch and go. Oh, that could have been bad.
And I totally would have gone further, but I wore blue eyeliner and it's starting to bleed onto my face and I just look like I've been hanging out with Ike Turner.
Well, I really enjoyed this. So did I. What grade would you give me? Eleven out of hundreds. Just 11. We'll do it again.
Let's do it again in Austin maybe. Yeah, hot take, hot day, literally, it's one of the downsides is it's hot, but Rogen is opening the Austin Comedy Club.
Yup. Can't wait. So build build a new I hope to build be part of Elon Musk is moving there help be part of building. A new better Silicon Valley tech empire there, maybe I can come and make it Silicon Valley. Oh, that's why you're a comedian.
It was the worst joke I've ever made. That's what's going to end my career as a comedian. Most of you are so quick.
Just impressive. That's why you're a professional. They pay you the big bucks. I could see that being the new place for. For comedy. For culture. Yeah, I'd love that. Maybe.
I love your podcast. I it's really hard for me to get Ilic sample podcast, but you the Michael episode. I love the David Eagleman episode. I loved. I'm not going to listen to one with your dad.
But I love your podcast. I feel like it makes me smarter.
Go to the part where I tell him he wasn't a good father.
I even timestep. But I disagree with you. I think he nailed it. I think saying saying that your parents are bad parents, you're insulting yourself, you're insulting the product.
They made the design. Whatever he did was pretty good.
Yeah, but we're in it when we're in it. Yeah, I know it's rough.
I mean, like radical forgiveness with my parents. I'm like, thank you for fucking me up because it made me work hard. Like I'm just didn't I did it the other way. I did the same thing and it didn't work. So I'm doing like counterreaction. They nailed it.
Well, thank you for starting to drink at five p.m.. Thank you for forgetting to pick me up from school. Made me resourceful. And then you also go and pass. Well back in the.
Yeah. Whatever they they were molested. Yeah. They're going to right over that connects. Well I know.
Not defend them. Defend your parents at all costs and just see how your life changes.
OK, I'll try to you know what I would say on this podcast. We forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because we deserve peace.
Just try forgiving everyone for a week and just see if your life changes at all. I forgive you.
What I did wrong was OK, just ended there. Yeah, OK. It's just. All right, just chop.
Don't ride elephants. I love you guys, likes Friedman's is a big guys, don't say that your stock or anything. You're talking to the.