Transcribe your podcast

Three or four.


Oh, so this is champagne. Yeah, loses, we have no surprises. No.


So hold on. We're fully getting high together. Yeah. Are you going to do it? Can I have what you can do it. Yeah, sure. I'm just like, OK, Lise's fully just open it. OK, she brought me a drink that has drugs in it. CBD if you want to have sex with me, just ask like please.


No, please. OK, I'm really easy to have sex with. You just have to have money which you have. I don't. This is black cherry princess drink.


It's a good time. What are you drinking. She says with ginger peach ginger with the OK for some reason. Listen, I was so nervous to hang out with each other.


Oh thank God. OK, this is the point where you admit all the emotions. All right. What are you what's going on with us? What's happening? I don't know.


I just I've had a crush on you for so long and literally have this is going to be so I'm leaning too far away from the mic for my commentary.


Oh, thank God. I'm aware of having no one because they know how microphones work.


Oh, my God. By my bed like you got me through my breakup. So let me just I'm here to thank you. Wait, this is actually wild. Yeah.


And like, look, I even I found the person that bought my book, the one this is the only way. This is wild. They do have my book and like I know you read it, it's like covered in salsa and shit. What were you doing with this?


Set my vibrator on it once. It was a good idea. It's the pages are stuck together. But this is so nice. This makes me feel so old. I mean, don't just check it. That's crap.


No, no. I know you're going to write a long, sentimental note that I'm going to reflect on here. Lisa, Lisa Kudrow, you're wonderful light.


So wait, this is actually just so weird. That's why this well, symmetrical two.


I'm I'm not so much. You're fucking symmetrical. That's very nice of you, but you're an animated. That's nymphet who has a perfect face. So don't come at me. I have a dimple on one side of my face and not the other side which I'm fine with. I'm quirky. I like IDRs different than the other girls. I like to confuse people with my face.


It's so I don't know how you mean really. That literally looks like like an inkblot. Fold it in half and like is like what do you see when you see what you're doing?


Are you in love with me? I am. You ask this every podcast though. I know your lines. I've seen you use them on other people. I know I'm not special for shit. You're like, I hate that you listen to this. OK, so I just want to battler's.


Back up, back up, back up. We're both nervous, are both sweating and both have crushes on each other. That's why I have CBD.


Call me, by the way. Why why is this a job? I literally was like this one of most famous people in the world. She's come to my house and we're having our first hang on camera. Like who said why? I know it's so I came up with this idea. So I was like, I wonder if we'll have chemistry. That's why the pre call yesterday. OK, so this is actually kind of blew my mind. I don't even know how many.


We've had some pretty famous people on here, like some pretty big people on here. I don't even know how it why I reached out to you.


I was just assuming you were to say no, I, I heard that you reached out because I was talking about voting and I was like, I will continue talking about.


But that's not why I starts to Whitney. Oh, I hate when celebrity talk about voting. That was not why I think I was mean you to say cut it. Yeah. You haven't seen that shit out say relatable. Relatable. Don't tell your brand, get political.


It's not personal.


Political and I know I think I was high maybe or I had a couple glasses of wine or something and I texted my I never do this and I texted my I don't even know what he does. And I was like, can we get Liza on the show? And then I'm emailing with someone that's in my phone as Liza person are your witty your is that your is that your publicist that I'm e-mailing with your text, emailing someone named Liza.


They're doing it in Toshie pub.


I mean, I'm tired. I think it's your publicist. Oh yeah. She's your publicist. So yes, I'm texting with this publicist.


It's like a super ethnic like bar, by the way, like the Koshy Pub, Irish bar.


Cancel out the weird part of this. And so this is important.


You guys are supposed to grab this.


If I lean too far away, you know, how do you I stop pretending you don't know that microphone work. I don't play like humble. I only use just my iPhone to create cinematic masterpieces on Tick-Tock. That's all I'm good for all I know how to do. I just make millions of dollars with my voice. Oh, I don't know myself, my personality.


I do a career. Millions of dollars for my job. Oh I'm sorry.


I think ok now I've confirmed that it is me. I take people on a fucking journey of my ADHD.


This is a hundred percent of you coming forward with your. I'm admitting fault that you have ADHD, that I have ADHD. This is my moment. I'm different than the other girls have a dimple and I represent. Are you coming out as asymmetrical? Yes. One side looks like Plato. The other is molding Clay. That's literally what that woman told me the other day. So this bitch.


So we're texting and they're like, I get a schedule like Dave Grohl and Hilary Duff. They're like, whatever works, I get a schedule that's like Liza has from one to four on Thursday, six thirty to six forty five on Friday. They make me sound so as a schedule. She is scheduled down to the minute and then I'm like, great, we get it. I just keep assuming you're going to cancel. Like I just figure like why would you do this.


Why are you doing.


You were high and you asked me to do this. I know but why do you say yes? Because I'm madly in love with you and you just want me to admit it for the second time in the first ten minutes. But you say it again in a different way than let me go. I just reached a whole new demographic for you. But it is fast.


It isn't so much, you know, probably.


Yeah, it can be released now and I go and I and then she goes because I'm fascinated. We talk about on this podcast about how this next generation of women. I know this might be shocking, but I am older than you. But I know that's really hard to believe. That placenta. I know. I know something about the placenta in a minute.


I am fascinated by this new generation of women and young people. Yeah. What are you, Gen X GenZE ogen after GenZE?


I think it's me and I'm like Gen Z, Millennial cusp. Like I'm the find. I am the line between. But I get so annoyed because older boomers want to go like this generation's entitled and like and this generation like the me generation, like all they know they're worth.


It's called self-respect or self-love.


It's a concept called having boundaries, working on that part, not knowing how to do. They're going to get into that. OK, so then she I get a text. It's like, hey, Liz, I would love to jump on the phone with you before the interview. And I'm like, what I know.


Was that threatening to you or was that like, no, I just I, I've never meant to be. I would we were supposedly that was, you know, not like this was literally, like I said, a goal to make sure that you were sure like you wanted this in the room.


No, but it was like and then we got on the phone and she's like, well, I just want to kind of see what I'm walking into. And I was like, since when do people in their 20s have self-esteem and clean their space? I was like, what is this?


This is the most professional fucking move I've ever encountered. Like when I was I, I would have just if I didn't know what I was walking into, I would just be uncomfortable and be anxious and just show up and wing it. Oh, my God. What was that? That I just wanted to see.


Like, if I could flirt with you beforehand, if you really I just wanted to see like like I don't if you liked me.


Yes. 100 percent.


It's like I'm in love with you. So that's that's the reason why. And I just wanted to have like that like ten minute call which turned into thirty minutes of like solid advice where I am already applying it to my life within the past 24 hours. Yes. I just started talking about neurology and then like yeah. Yeah. So breaking down my psyche, I really. You did. You did. You obsessed me so fast through just like my voice.


Well I, I'm obsessed with you. And I also have to be honest, I'm kind of worried about you. OK, you said that stuff. You think, well, most people are worried then obsessed. But years.


No, I'm I'm worried about how obsessed I am. I going to end well. I'm a predator. I'm going to write a statement. I have I have plenty of statements geared up in my notes app writing.


So and I was like Googling you hard.


My algorithm is at your age now. And I saw you all of these like talk shows and stuff. And I was like I got a little bit weirded out because I was like, I think people are weird with you that are in the street. Yes. In traditional media. OK, like talk shows.


I said it for them because I think that's why I wanted to have like a prequel, because I feel like I've never had that with anybody else that I've, like, sat down and talked to other than like I've been on like maybe like for podcast total and we've never had like a moment to just sit and just like be humans together. So I was like, let me just like me warm her up to what she's about to get into. Like, let let's see if she, you know, is OK with me.


And so that's why I had to call you also my first friend I've ever made in twenty twenty. So like yesterday was my first conversation. Yeah. So like for me to like you. Yeah. I'm so rusty on friendships or any God please please take. I know we were so socially awkward all the fun.


You know I have social anxiety too. So for me it's like a prepping thing where I'm like I know it's so weird that I have to wear. Actually it makes perfect sense. Does it. Yes. And don't minimize it because to me I was like, wait, this is someone that got famous, you know, basically doing what you do without two hundred people around.


Like, I, I wasn't allowed to be socially awkward because I had to work with two hundred people and audiences and crowds. I'm more awkward one on one.


Like this is my nightmare. This is where you shine. You're no what. You have to leave and then I shine just by myself. Yeah. Please. Just behind the curtains. So I found I find this thing where I was just like oh my God, it's so fascinating because in order for me to make it and whatever I've made.


To you is nothing but like what I please by writing the second letter read, it's not a big deal and I'm not I haven't read it.


I had no choice but to write about an apology. And I am in my day. We were kind of talking about this yesterday television. I think people will find this interesting because you are why television's over. You broke it.


So you you ruined my so many jobs for so many people. You selfish, canceled you for you.


I mean but well you are who showed everybody that the system that I got successful in is antiquated in a way and that it is frankly barbaric and ridiculous. I had to in order to show people the thing I want to do in order to do my talent show, I go make people laugh and make people write like me. I had to get like 20 white guys in their forties to the sixties watching my demo.


And then I had to get their seal of approval. I had to negotiate with them and fight with them, take their notes, write such.


And I was thinking about it.


I was like, you know, and you just started recording yourself and you had no gatekeepers, fingers crossed.


So maybe somebody likes it. I don't know. But it was so accidental. Now it's so intentional. That's the weird part is I was just making videos online. I was like, oh my God, I didn't know my my personality was so magnetic.


It was such a breath of fresh air. I didn't realize I was so addictive. I didn't know people could be so easily obsessed with me like yourself. No, no. That that was just I'm so lucky. Like, I just, like, stepped onto a platform on Vine originally.


I never had to get permission. I had to ask for permission my entire career from a bunch of six year old dudes hoping they wanted to fuck me.


No, I have a six year old or 60 year old 60s. OK, that's a that's so sorry. You hate me. You are taking all my job. I love you already canceled television. You please not start doing stand up you. I'm going to go on tour and I'll write your jokes. Independent tours when I go on. I work for you now honestly.


Like I would probably make so much more money. I just was like on your team.


My is doing well so. But I get why you're so anxious. When have you socialized. I mean not in the past five months other than with my parents, which has been super interesting conversations because they're the first ones I've had as an adult with them.


But I, I mean I like stepped into L.A. and like didn't have a social circle at all until I made friends with so many, like, creators, creators, YouTube influences. What I do is kind of all know the like.


Is it this is going to sound crazy. Yeah. And old. But like you guys kind of know the D is it a work relationship. Is it when do you know, when are the cameras off and when are they on.


That was a confusing part for me too because I'm not the typical kind of like vlogger or blogging lifestyle like that was streaming on your platform. I invited you here. Why are we doing it live right by my channel. Do you mind if I take this?


Can I like Andrew? Can I. Andrew Yang, you.


Oh, I got the part.


We that's an inside joke. That's what we have inside jokes now. That's how close we are. Oh my God. It's the truth. That's what a thirty minute call is for. So I could bring up stuff that out of control that makes no sense to anybody else.


But no, that's, that's a lifestyle that I was not leading my own. So it was like I don't I don't know, like how to like turn off.


Turn on. Are you on for me right now? Are you worried that people are using you?


That was that was a fear for a while, too. Like there was like, do you actually genuinely value my friendship? And what I offer you trying to get on my stream. Yeah.


Or like are you using me for yours. Like that was that was a questionable I mean, if they weren't using a free stream and you weren't famous, I'd be using you for your body.


So it always is a woman you're always going to be used for something is my personality. Oh, no, no, no. Never, never. I never have one.


So can you date? I have not in the past two years. Oh, my God. Opened me up asking me why I'm an assault on me. I'm a snail. I'm just thinking about you. And I'm like, and you can you can just say, no, I just gave her a rhinoceros. A marble rhinoceros. I have a rhinoceros. I got her a rhinoceros because I just sensed that she needed boundaries. So say no to me.


You're allowed to say no to me. OK, I should be saying no to you. You're the one getting me drunk means no. Do you feel it? I don't think I feel that.


I feel I feel so anxious because I also know I only get you for another hour and I feel pressure to get everything in in the next hour.


No. OK, no. Give yourself an hour and a half. I don't know what the schedule.


I made a final offer, OK, but I love what they say. Yes to anything. Literally my rhinos in the other room. But here's the thing.


Like I, I didn't I feel like it's so weird that I still have shame calling myself successful.


It's so, it's so wild.


So when I got successful, I found that men felt the need to dominate me or they just weren't interested in me at all. Right.


Guys like me when I was like a mess and couldn't find my kids and like me. All right, help me. Like I have a flat tire like that's with me. I know. And then I got my shit together at the same time.


They're complaining about gold diggers. They don't like those either. Pick one. Pick one. Wow. And then I got my shit together and got ostensibly successful, whatever that means, and then guys either weren't interested in me or they'd be emasculated by my success. Like, one time I was dating this guy who, like, he was successful, but he didn't. He had like a shitty apartment. Like I said, it's a thing where you get famous but not rich.


It's like one of those jobs you do. Yeah.


Oh, no, I'm not a YouTube. I'm not a pedophile.


And I went to his house all the time and I used to park my car, the first nice car I ever got. I parked it two blocks away from his house. I'd walked in.


Oh, God. Really? And then I'd Uber and I leave and I just Uber back to my own car and drive it home so that he never saw that I had a nice car. And then because I just knew that it was weird for him. Oh my. And then we had amazing chemistry, like each other's clothes off. And then one day he finally was like, why don't I come to your place? I'm like, great. Walked into my house.


This is my old house, walked in. It was a nice house. Right. I work hard, right?


I mind. Do I fucking. I don't I don't buy stupid purses.


I put money into real estate because on investments I wear shitty clothes like this that I get on Etsy and so relatable. I was so at ease when I saw today.


I feel like that's an expensive vintage shirt for this. Yeah. And it looks like that's one of those like two hundred dollars. I'm still paying it off, you know.


So let's start a go fund me for this like. So we had amazing chemistry the first time he came to my house, he walked in and I just saw he was like, how many square feet is this house.


What is that a both of those speakers. And we did not hook up. And nothing happened at your house when he came to my house.


Yes, he was.


He was grossed out by the fact that I had just been told your entire life that, like, you know, when you just intimidating you're intimidating to men.


It's a no show, bitches. Maybe. Yeah. If I just told you that or bitches a bit like you're a bitch if you're intimidated by me. Yeah. It's not my I'm not going to make myself smaller. It's not. Right exactly. It's not about me being intimidating. It's you being insecure. You can't make yourself any smaller.


You truly can't really trust you to leave this interview multiple times with shrinking and so do our guys.


So I at least got some of my 20s where guys at least use me for my body or I didn't whatever. I had a fair shot. Like you've never had a shot of a pure priorly dating someone that doesn't know who you are.


I did. I had a wonderful relationship with someone that I met when I first moved out here. And it grew as our careers grew to the famous the the public on the other side of the break up.


Let me just dance around it. And I don't I don't break up with David.


I want to ask you about David, because I can't stand it when that's all anyone asks. It's like when I got engaged, it's all anyone talked about. I actually have other things in my life besides just my relationship. You're right.


We talk about my professional ahead and minimize me down to who he is and how would you with him.


Yeah, but do you feel weird that people do you feel defined by that? I did at one point.


I totally did at one point because that was the only question I ever received in any interviews, even while I was like filming a movie or, you know, doing my TV show or creating lines and things like that. Like that was the question that everybody created a title out of even the podcast that I did and respect the guy because he's he does his job damn well, too. But I would do a podcast.


And he was like, did you ever get tired of people asking you about him?


And like, you literally do like your side, like you're on TV, like I am not going to bring it about. David, is it annoying when people ask?


Oh, that was so that was a time where I was like so out there with my personal life, too.


So, like, I put myself out there to be questioned and to be like to have an opinion about it. And that was so fun. Like we had so much fun creating together until, you know, we both grew naturally apart. And then in a video, we're like, we're best friends for lifting. And, you know, we no longer really talk all that much anymore. David is watching this because he loves me.


And we're going to get on the pot any time I've told agents to her with you your step into Umina Airdrome, it's just text in for a big fan.


No, he rocks, but we totally grew apart. And it was a natural thing, but it was public.


And that's why everybody like was like, oh, why don't people ask you out to people not ask you out or just say, no, I have yet to get on any, like, dating apps to really put myself out there to the point where someone is like, oh, she's free and I'm going to ask her out. I mean, I've been asked to help and I think I've been in denial, too.


I went to this super, super wild date that I feel like has filled me for the next few months where I stepped like it was a beautiful little brunch or whatever he was like. Nice to reiterate for the first date, first date of your thirties, you don't go on a certain date in broad daylight, broad daylight lighting. I have a lighting guy. Do I have lighting laws that I said before I go on a date, I go on a date in this guy's room with all these lights.


First date.


This is a date. OK, that's good. Yes, I you've got to admit it.


State, there was a bunch to be sober, he was sober on life, didn't order a drink, so I was out. But so he doesn't drink, which is why he did brunch, which is why he did want to know.


Maybe he wanted to spend the day, which is what we did.


OK, but I don't like dates involve sunscreen, but I also don't think it's the wiser.


What we're spending the day together. We're going to a flea market facials. Now I have to go to an ATM machine like the day, like, I hate that it's like five o'clock and you're like, do we get dinner? It's too late for lunch. It's too early for dinner. Yeah. Like I need a nap. And that's where I got to. I was like, I'm hungry at 5:00 and I'm still with my lunch and dinner. But then he was like, I have to go to my mom's birthday party.


And I'm like, great if a healthy relationship with your mother and you love her. And then the nurse. And then I was still hungry and I was like, you're not prioritizing me over your mom yet. And that was upsetting. But we had brunch together.


He was like waving a baby in a public place, a public place on like a nice side of town where like he asked you if he asked me through a friend, you know, was it through text or like the guy that got I don't even know if it was a date.


And he's like watching me describe this right now. He's like, that was it was purely using you for your personality, right?


No, no. But he was he was so like he was so nice and so kind. I was like, things are going too well. You open the door for the car for me. You don't get points for that.


You don't get points for that. But still, it's like, OK, I know your self worth, you know, a lot of shit that I don't know about fucking YouTube and tagging and blogging and dogs and Tumblr, but I know about how many how I know you know, you know about Friendster. I get it, but I know about how men should behave. And it has taken me thirty years to learn that you do not get points.


I was drunk so I keep going. If you are you cry. It is a date appropriate for me to do this so you don't get points for calling. I know you don't get points for opening the door and you don't get points for being nice. I know it was exciting, but he waved at a baby and the baby waved back like thirty points for that.


I don't know. Was he, was he attracted sexually. He was the wave. How do you see it. I'm not that far off. Yeah. Oh no. Anyways it to me is just like not a good person. The standards are low. Oh high.


So he was nice to you. The casual. It's amazing how much credit guys get for being nice. I know. I know. I know it's wild. I know I've had other experiences where the dude's not so nice so that it was cool.


It was, it was like, it was like a literally a scene from a rom com at the very end of the date. Degassed. Well this has been fun, but like, you know, either we could stay here MUJAO a little bit more, we could go back to my house and paint.


I was like in the naked paint, you know, you like one of his French girls? Yeah, that's what I thought was going to happen. And then we ended up painting together a painting together, another naked woman. But I think it was actually turned out to be a hand. I can't remember. But we're not together. You know, the difference between a woman and. No, I haven't looked in the mirror naked in a very long time.


Only ever looked at my hand. But it looks like it's only to do. Oh, no, he he had a whole garden, too. So I was like, oh, my God, you know how to make things flourish. A garden. Yeah. He brought me to his garden first and then to his paint house, which was his garage with like, OK, I'm so I'm going to tell the story. You're in a cult.


You was to I say, let me see your brand. We need to go to Dr. Tattoff immediately. Oh, no, wait. So you went back and you painted Lembeck. Did he bring up a photo of a naked woman? There were there were sketches of naked women involved where he was like looking through literally a person's Gettysburg's. He was looking at these sketches and was like, which one do you want to paint? And I was like, I'm just going to go with the hand.


I'm a little what does he do for a living host? I think he's what he would call himself. But my God, it is so embarrassing telling the story. I know you guys need to know. We don't tell them that they're being crazy. How are they going to know? But I am. I was so cool. I'm your best I, I draw awareness to men and their shitty fucking weird ass creepy behavior on dates. That's my cause.


I think it was so it seems so well intentioned, but it also seemed planned like it was a script from a movie, which is why I like disassociated it like totally went into this like foggy world that I was living in. But he got out of the car, open the door again, which no credit. I learned that he had a car, he hit a car.


The car he was showing me. Yeah.


And he, like, ripped off a flower bud in his front lawn and was like and I was like, what? And I smelled it smelled like a fresh fucking orange. I was like, that was enjoyable. What is that. He was like, it's my orange tree. It's like, this guy's an orange tree. Then we go to his backyard. Yeah, jalapeños. And like, it had a cumquat he was like, want to come quietening.


Did a little Tosa Gwalior cumquat. That is problematic. That is Surles.


He asked me a couple, he said how did he say it.


You, you ever try a cumquat like outside of that is not true. That is a very Pattiz I'm calling Ronan Farrow that is I tweeting this man I am coming forward.


And then we went to his paint room and took off her shoes. His paint room know the micas has to go closer to the paper.


Yep. He's got a paint room. So sorry. Yeah he has a well it was like a garage with an easel and for two years, two weeks there were two houses set up which.


Oh my God.


Oh my God. I feel so bad that you are not ok. There is not a skin of your suit in someone's basement. This is Dexter. I know.


OK, you know the feeling of like you explaining that you couldn't drive your car up to his house and you parked two week to two weeks away. Two weeks away. Two blocks away. Yeah, that that's how I'm feeling telling the story. And I feel so guilty because I feel like it was so well intentioned, but also so well, here's the thing. It's interesting. This is I'm glad you're bringing this up, because now it's like, OK, I understand why guys are confused.


We want you to be sweet. We want you to be chivalrous, and then you do it and then you're like, oh, yeah, yes.


Tell me a secret. My secret is ritual.


I mean, I don't know what to tell you. Like, I, I don't think anyone that listens to the podcast doesn't use ritual vitamins.


Are you a woman?


Do you hate sugars and GMOs or are you a woman or do you know a woman or you're the daughter of a will you soon be a woman or the friend of are you the friend of a woman?


I think ritual is going to be my Christmas. What a great Christmas gift.


You know that nothing nothing I love more than in the middle of fucking November planning my Christmas gifts. I love it so much.


You and every big box retailer in the South, should we do ritual vitamin D vitamins or one of those things where.


No, should I do a delivery for them. You're gonna pay for it the whole year.


Yeah, that's a hell of a gift is an amazing gift. It's an amazing gift.


I would never that's like saying like you need to be healthier. But my gift to you is that you have more energy.


You are my mother, my mom, my Secret Santa gifts for school. She would buy people actually watch a subscription to Acme Watches. Well, that's just hurtful. I know.


I had to tell her, I guess the best multi vitamin for you.


And let me tell you why. Go because there's no sugar, there's a dmoz, there's no synthetic fibers, no artificial viler fillers, fillers or fibers, there's none of that stuff. It is made formulated with key nutrients, including vitamin D three to help you fill gaps in your diet, fresh tasting, delayed release capsule. So you're getting that good, good all day.


It's not optional like we are at a time. Our brains are so fried. Our bodies are being torn in so many different directions. We are so stressed out. We are staring at screens all day. We are so adrenalized, we are so pumped with cortisol and stress.


It's the least you can do to take a vitamin for your current and future self.


But vitamin. Though that word makes ukes me out. Like ritual vitamins are different than vitamins because they're ritual, they come to your door every month delivered, but it's like part of your life.


A lot of vitamins have garbage, trash, garbage in them.


I just told you this don't I don't know. And I haven't ever. But I'm saying I had this woman come to my house once. It's like doctor here.


What a witch doctor. Witch doctor who said that a lot of vitamins have like dyes in them.


Don't these don't these don't that witchdoctor come in your house to wash them yellowjackets.


So it's like I this does so much for me physically, but also emotionally, because when I take this vitamin I feel like, OK, oh, I don't have to stress out about eating healthy the rest of the day.


Not that you shouldn't. Not that I don't. But I'm just like, OK, I checked that box.


Also available right now, helps provide them with vitamins are not just for women. They're now available for women, men and teens, teens.


Everyone can take a virtual vitamin like teens need more energy.


Yeah, teens need better skin, more college. I like to take mine up. That's sick.


It's part of my ritual. You deserve to know what is in your multivitamin. That's my Rachel is offering what needs listeners ten percent off during your first three months visit Richwood dotcom slash Whitney to start your ritual.


Just get it for your wife. Get it for your mom, get it for yourself. Get it like just you when Jordache.


You're obsessed with Jordache. I'm obsessed with Dorda Chest, I refused the other grocery store. I'm not doing it, I'm not doing it anymore.


There's too much there's too much there. There's too many aisles. I don't understand who stocks dials, how they stop things. Everyone has a cart. Everyone has a basket.


Go to the grocery store. There are kids. Kids never deliver my door.


Do not want to grade. You want to eat something? I want to eat something that's all under dash.


The thing is like I just go to the grocery store is such a mental drain because it's people.


And are they in masks and or is your mask on. Right.


And what do I get. Glasses are falling off. Yeah.


Now is the time for self care. Now is the time for. Treating yourself. Have them bring the food to you already, contactless delivery is keeping charities say they have over three hundred thousand partners in the US, Puerto Rico, Canada and Australia, and you can support local go to choices. So you're also supporting your local restaurants, run the pandemic. It's honestly a win win. I didn't even know I had this many local restaurants, but I'll let you know something.


I have a pretty much all of them at this point.


Jordache, do you want to say now contactless to keep communities we operate in safe? I have a migraine so I can I'm trying to read this. Three hundred thousand partners in the US, Puerto Rico, Canada and Australia.


You can support your local go tos or choose from your favorite restaurant.


That's what I just said, guys. So right now, our listeners can get five dollars off and zero delivery fees and their first order of fifteen dollars or more. When you're down the door dash app and enter code. Good for you. That's five dollars off and zero delivery fees on your first order. When you download the door dash app and the App Store, enter code switch seats.


Don't forget that code. Good for you. For five dollars off your first order with Jordache. When I grew up, what's his name, homey, John Cusack on. By the way, sick, I suppose I just get sick.


I like to call celebrities out who are dating apps preying on young girls on Kuzak.


I see I see my book and get on to what's his name. What was the tell me anything. Say anything where he's holding the the boombox up. I mean, like we I learned that that was romance and I know that's just stalking.


If a guy really shows up at your house and play music outside your door, like call the police.


I have been conditioned to I thought it was so cute.


Creepy shit is super romantic and I'm uprooting what I have learned and relearning. Give me a hints which one are all about. But I think it's this I'm going to say something that's going to really piss people off. Like I, I think if it's if you're into them, it's cute.


If you're not it's I don't mean like that's a ship with Fifty Shades of Grey. We're like this motherfucker like all this is creepy but hot and has a helicopter. So it's fine. I mean it's an ugly dude had a dungeon full of fake weapons. Yeah. We would totally that would be a CSI.


So unfortunate that that makes me feel so guilty as we are. We're monsters. He's a he's a handsome young young fella.


So maybe that's why it was totally OK or not because it's like it's like I went on a date recently you guys I went on a date is not yours. Go.


Did he have a canvas set up trying to take no. Real quick wrap the story. He had two easels and then he chucked one to the side and was like, I just want to watch you paint.


Like, I'm going to help you paint the painting in my living room and it's probably miked by you. I know it's got a GoPro on it and you just wait.


You sleep. Wait, what fucking what? Yeah. Yeah.


Fucking hard to set at all. And then like, there was a whole playlist too of music and it was probably just his music.


I'm not creating a God.


I'm not going to I think it's the second there was like a you know, I kind of love this guy. I can't, I know I can't you know, you can't tell either one of you is crazy.


I don't know which one. I think it's one of you is batshit and one of you is awesome. And I'm fifty fifty on it right now.


I'm, I get that I'm forty five minutes. You're pretty sure. And you just tell him we're not going to say who it is. Can you just Google. I mean really. Yeah but we're not going to show he is on the show. You're going to Google him. You had questions asked.


I do have questions. Look we don't know each other like you do the same thing. I do. What do you mean?


I right. I literally have bullet points on my computer of, like, what I wanted to bring up with you. And I brought nothing of it up. I have bullet. I literally wrote a whole bullet. Well, yesterday I was on the phone and I was like, I don't really have any questions prepared. She's like, you don't. I was like, shit, I just got out that.


I was like, oh, fuck. So I started, like, writing things down. Look, I watched this is me reading off a word document of things that I wrote down to make like something that I take this seriously.


I've watched you on other shows. It was awkward. No, you did. You said that word for word. At least you get jealous of you. Oh, are they who people are jealous of you.


I was watching you on a couple late night shows and I think this is what happens.


I'm glad I'm like little computer. I just avoided like looking up the guy, but I will look him up because they need your. Yeah.


So I was watching on these talk shows and I think this is what happened. I think you got so successful on your fucking talent alone and it's so annoying to people that you are so beloved and got so successful and you did it the way I did it, that it took them so long and it was so much ass kissing and required so much manipulation and calculating and schmoozing and Godbout that I literally wouldn't have been I my existence would not have been possible at all if not for all of that groundwork laid.


Like that's why I'm like I owe you my firstborn placenta because I actually need it.


I'm starting to get crazy, you know, like I that that none of this would be possible for what you've done for women in that space is ridiculous. And like, I owe you so much for it. Like you could feel free to agree. You good. So I guess, you know, you've allowed you like sign the permission slip for everybody else to be themselves because of you, what you right now and take it all back and really hit the head move.


Could you just hit my Vanimo? No, that is so kind. And I think and I'm going to receive that.


I'm not going to it's only because I realized you were jealous of me in that moment that I felt that this was I said, I'm not jealous of you.


I said, other people know.


Oh, I don't know that. And I feel bad now. Do I need to go talk?


I'm a little jealous. I'm not. I'm actually more than all of you.


I think before I really watched the stuff you do, I was a little bit like there's something very frustrating about the it looks effortless to me. Be so effortful.


I forget. Right? No, but that's good to know. But I think when I was watching you, my brain. I'm not telling you.


Jump on my brain. I won't. I won't. I won't turn me. I'm going to go into a maniac. I'm going to keep my composure. You cut. I watch you on these talk shows. Just turn to my flirty eyes.


I watch you on these talk shows. And I just felt people going like. There's a glib smugness around the people that get really big on YouTube from the people that made it the old fashioned way, the people that have 10 writers in a writers room that are all writing, they're in authentic shit. And then you walk in and it's like, oh, you lapped us all on your charm alone.


Oh, God, there's a glibness there. You don't feel it.


It's like I mean, I get the one like talk show experience that I'm still, like, working through the PTSD from from having is because you go on their show and they've got a sliver of the you don't even need to go on their shows.


It's frankly weird that you do late night talk shows.


I was only doing it because Stephen Colbert was my mom and dad's hall past, but also like my future one, he like that. It was such an honor to go on there and then to talk about just my relationship, kind of a stinky. But it was so scary. I blacked out and I don't remember what I said.


I remember being like, no, it's OK. We're just, you know, I do what people want to go like. But I think it's so bad that I prove why. You prove why I keep hearing about it. Like there's a lot I don't know. I feel that I feel like, OK, like a friend of mine is, you know, Amanda Sarnie and I, I'm oh, she's oh, cool body.


And we've got good looking people. We met because we did the David Spade show together, which is all comics. And she was sitting in the in the chair and they obviously they had her on because she she's fucking funny as shit.


Yeah. But like, you know, she's got they hired her because she has a ton of followers. They were using her. Sure. We're all trying to use you.


I know. I know. Come take advantage of us as a stepping stone for so much more like I wrote a book with a scroll.


It's a big it's a big deal about it. And so and then I could feel the comics being shitty. I could feel them being like, there's this. Really. Yes. There's a little bit of like this generation like looks down on the people that made it with authenticity because we had to fake it. We had to pretend we had to be like this person. I actually am this person. Who do you want me to be like? We were doing characters, but not on purpose, like you.


And I was definitely, you know, what you were doing. Characters like intentionally. We were just shapeshifting to try to make these, like old guys that work at these companies like us and give us a shot. And then the fact that you guys did it.


But I think we're still doing that in a form like I'm doing that in a in some way, shape or form. Like I, I definitely shapeshifting in terms of like who I'm talking to.


Like, that's I think that I hope that's like a good thing, good quality where you're just being empathetic and you're like, I'm wanting to like, you know, make you feel comfortable too, which is like probably like a people pleasing thing. I still work there, but but it's also like doesn't work well when you are interviewing someone and you do take on their whole persona. And I mean, with interviews that I have done, I have seen myself like even my accent changes a little bit being from Houston and like having a diverse background to that is not OK.


You do not want to ever do that. Like that could lead to so many like that. That's a conversation. But like for me, I feel like I am still shapeshifting because I'm on these different platforms, too. And I've created myself, created myself. I like the fact that I even use that language. Right. That's deep on on social media. Right. And and then I created my authentic self.


Yeah. I've curated an authentic I wasn't I put it on camera and then I realized who I am.


But yeah, that's like I don't know, there's so many different platforms to that.


I've kind of shape shifted to become my more my cell phone if that even makes sense.


So young you don't you're going to change all the time. Oh yeah. Constantly. You're not even close to who you're going to be.


No, I've literally become better or worse. I'm not sure I'll tell you later after this conversation.


So do you. But also I was thinking about you because we were talking yesterday on our little pre date about how like for me, I my insecurity comes from not knowing.


Like, I don't I need proof that I'm enough. I need proof that I'm talented. I need proof that you like me.


You're so talented, you're lovely and you make people feel so comfortable. I just want to affirm you real quick because that's what my generation does. Just like this new generation, like like women are nice to women.


It's very confusing. I don't know what to do with this. I'm just I'm used to passive aggressive people sabotaging me and girls being nasty. This is confusing.


I think that's what I was just why you need to recruit me. I literally was raised on like women pitting women against other women. So like, for me, I'm like, no, like, that's not the narrative. I've if I'm here now and I have this platform, I'm going to rewrite that storyline. Like, I'm going to make sure that happens. You have good girlfriends.


I do. I really I have a really small circle of girlfriends and like they're my friends from college, from my one year of college or my random roommates.


And I got so lucky. Yeah, that's what you need. Yeah. And that's all. They're all in Houston, Texas. And I also have like a couple of really like core friends that I lose some friends.


When you got famous, I, I think I intentionally filtered I it wasn't like I lost. It was like OK, like. I see you not continuing to reach out to me or like check in emotionally with me and like, did we ever have that deeply rooted of a relationship to begin with? Or was it more like surface level?


And as I like grew into my mid 20s now as I went from like 19 to 24, now I'm just that's what I long for, is that that deeply rooted connection.


So I was just like, oh, we don't really have that. And that's OK. You're awesome in your own way.


But like, this just doesn't serve me anymore. I outgrew it and we went right.


But it was never like a malicious thing, like I don't the bar like we grew out of.


So how did you get this? OK, so because I'm I'm not this is not you don't get to weigh in on this, OK? You don't get says you have this natural gift like you have this like Lucille Ball, like Charlie Chaplin, like physical comedy, Gift Low.


I know.


I got to watch the visual for this one guy. You got to get it. You have it.


And it's it's something that you can't teach. It's something you can't learn. It's innate. It's. Did you ever watch Three's Company?


No. And what's now. So I maintain I have to watch that again.


Oh my God. Uses Taylor. Tomlinson don't remind me my other young pretty fucking friends. Why do I promise are people that are hotter, younger and more talented you.


We are just trying to mirror the like magic that is you and we say with so Jack Tripper and Three's Company, I'm going to make you watch.


This is a very old sitcom that I watch. When I was growing up, I was very young when it was on, too, by the way, I'm young, but you have a very natural gift. And did you watch comedy growing up? I also have a theory that it's because you're the youngest and you're the youngest has to the youngest child has to fit into an already established system. And in order to get attention, they have to do really dramatic things right.


Great like characters and jump off the bed and hurt themselves and stuff. Oh yeah.


No, I literally have no baby pictures of me as a baby.


My both of my sisters do and that's they just, they just replace, they just say like this is you. And I'm like, I don't have a image and that is my older sister Olivia like that. It's like interchangeable Pokemon cards. So they were there's no way if you were a mistake. I was a mistake.


I was I was I think that like something from conception of like a mistake.


I feel like you have to earn your place. Like the kid knows that you know it when you're a mistake.


God, that made me realize how much that was like a whole like except it except yourself.


You're a mistake. What mistakes we have to earn our place.


Right. When you know you're a mistake, you have to earn your place. You have to.


I'm not supposed to be here, but I am. So I have to make up for it. They were done parenting. They were gone. Yeah. And then they wanted a son too. Yep. Yep. They thought I wanted a son for me too. Then I had to play sports. I had to play basketball. Yeah.


I think it's why I had this really masculine energy because they were thinking about me in there. I didn't even like do the ultrasound because they're like third one just going to slip out anyway.


We're out of money, right? Yeah. And like, I didn't go to college, so I save them that money. But I, I, I think that's why I turned out the way I am.


That's why I'm wearing little men's pants right now. That's why he wants to link to my pants later.


So you did you have like like do you feel like you got less attention than your other sisters.


No, I wanted it less attention like it was more so.


Or I want to say it's less attention and more attention. It was just different.


It was just by the time they get to you, they know every time baby coughs they're not going to die like this was an experiment.


Yeah, well, we got this. Yeah. What to do. Yeah. We at least have two solid ones that we're almost proud of.


And this one we can just kicked to the curb or kicked in L.A. at nineteen and see what happens.


Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.


So that, that for me was just like my sisters paved the way in terms of like my sister wasn't able to drink soda until she was thirteen like that because she was just they were just strict with the first child. And then for me it was like I never had breast milk, I never had a connection with my mother.


It was just so my mom was the person. My mom is a wonderful human being. She only holds babies like she volunteers at Texas Children's Hospital. Hold babies. Do you really want gimcrack babies?


I'm serious. I wanted them. Yeah. When you hold them to bond with them crack babies. Yeah. Is that is. I think that's what your mom is. I don't know.


I actually I love dogs and people you have on your broadcast.


I like I do do like the dog that's coming today. I have a foster, I'm coming today and I basically just like spend time with them so that they get socialize. That's what I think. I think if your mom goes to work, you're doing with me literally.


We're making so much eye contact. I'm totally impressed with us. Really do not usually do this. I'm not great with eye contact.


No, I usually look like right here I'm looking at your this is where I normally look.


OK, you were doing that a little bit earlier and I was like, why would she do it? I have a hard time with eye contact. I didn't have a lot of eye contact as a kid. Yeah, you're not as socially anxious as you think you are. Oh, I think I am.


I think I'm just literally in love with you. I've been waiting for this. I'm trying to absorb every moment of you that I have.


But so when who do you get anxious around? Because you're excited. You're also famous. You should be anxious. Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is one famous people like me. I'm like everyone wants your autograph and a picture with you. They're praying they're predators. You should be anxious. It's weird, but it's weird because the conception is a misconception is that people think when you're. You know, you grow in your fame, that you grow in your security and self.


You're like, oh, so many people like me are so many people have seen me as so many are accepting of me that I should be so accepting of myself. I know that's not how it works. So I think that's how people think on social media.


Like, if you have this many layers, you should have you like yourself as much as we like you. Right?


Very like obviously the complete opposite has been the experience for me.


Like, I wouldn't be doing this if I liked myself. I wouldn't be trying to get all you guys like me. I think the bad guys is like the most.


But just I love your body. You're so good with every single person like you see, like, made promoting. Yes.


Are you. So you're not like I don't look at my own. I don't think I can do this, but I don't, I don't know how to get like I said, I need proof. Like I don't know, this is why I like doing stand up. You say a joke, they laugh or they don't. I don't care what the truth is as long as I know it, because I have so much respect for you, because you do a thing into a camera, you edit it, you put it out.


But like where's there's no judgment. There's zero judgment. I'm in a safe zone constant.


But then I have to rely on my own default thoughts about myself. Oh, that sucked. Oh, that was cool. And that's what people do like it. I'm like, oh my God. Taylor Tyler. We have a surprising guess, no way to read the caption, you got bangs because their hair and you wanted to look. Yeah, I know, I know details. Oh, I know she's muted you ages ago. Will you come in and say hi to everyone?


Do you guys. Taylor Tomlinson.


Here I am. I got a suit for Kobe. Recently, I was it was tested at my house. I had Taylor on the drive by. I love the Taylor's wearing the coolest shirt ever. So young. So an astronaut and she has to ruin it with a thank you for. Are you guys taking another photo shoot today where you're both wearing tie dye?


This is your march. I Esther's. I only work. Oh fine. I yeah. I actually almost wore tight. I sure like that. But then my merch came in and just on the show. So people are going to watch this. So I wear this, we do both looks so unstable and this is yes.


This is so rude of you guys. I'm so now insanely nervous as if you weren't enough.


Did you bust up in this bitch really knowing you're an empire? I don't know what you're talking about. So I got guys where we like each other. It's so weird. I love being with girls, bunnies. They're not competitive. They know there's enough going outside for everyone because people like her.


What built an empire on YouTube. And we're like, oh, we don't have to ask anybody for permission.


Literally, it's that microphone on. Can I know?


I mean, my God, just know that I listen to your podcast with her like twice over because you guys are so codependent. Codependents is going to be so and good. It's going to be wonderful.


So we're talking about she hasn't been on a date in two months, a two year. So two years to date.


That date that I went on with my campus. Man Yeah.


And the guy asked her to paint, it was like, we can continue this date here at brunch. What do you think?


You know, is that good or bad? Taylor and I always have opposite takes on everything. Anything that she thinks is romantic I think is rape and vice versa. So. So hasn't been on a date in two years, two years. Well, are they not asking you out and you say or are you saying. No, I haven't really.


I, I could even tell it like when I went and painted with the guy, if that was considered a date to him, like I wasn't sure what it was.


Basically I went on a date. I know your face, your side smirk. He didn't try to kiss you at the end. No, he literally went to he left me to go kiss his mother on her birthday. Oh, yeah.


I mean, the day. Right, it was during the day today. You're in for a kiss during a day day. I know it's a little it's the lighting. It's like you have that smegma on your lap. Oh my God.


You watch madness man. Yes. Oh that's one. Is it not the same text. That is the worst. It's like hard. Awful. It's spreadable on toast. So. So then what happened?


You went on another date. He called you. We ended up going on another date.


When did you how much longer after like two months after we tried.


We tried multiple times which I know we text. That's like a distance. What does that mean. Is he as busy as you though. Because you say he's pretty busy.


OK, ok. I was having her Google who it was and we're not going anywhere so that I know. And then she I can't. I think that's what we want. And start to explain your notes. OK, she keeps reading my notes. She's scripted our dialogue. Her it's so embarrassing. She read it.


I saw you on other shows. It was awkward. It was awkward. Nothing like that down. Yes. Because I have this theory that when she goes and showed me her laptop intentionally, I spiral covered.


This is truly the weirdest podcast ever recorded. And she got me drunk. She has me on weed.


She brought me a weed drink. That's amazing. It's right after this.


So so no, I wrote this because I was like, I think that I'm so confused about my generation's resentment towards you got young women that are documenting what they were like. Why do they take pictures of their breast and what do they need to talk to a camera, take selfies all the time, get on the same note. We're going we're pro authenticity. That's what that is. Right. So we have a love hate relationship with authenticity. We preach that we want everyone to be authentic.


And then we see you guys being authentic on social media. We're like, they're narcissists. Right?


So I wanted to talk about that. I mean, can I bring something up that's applicable and if you don't want to talk about this, we can edit it out, right? No, no, no, we can handle it. OK, white women can't say no. Why is it. I know I know how to get around it. I just got here as I know. I'm sorry. This is my interview about my former relationship. Go.


It is.


So I don't think Whitney would know this, but did you know that she put a YouTube video up about her breakup with her very public, like, how dare you? I took me know talked about a word. Oh, you want to talk about it?


Break up to be sorry. I say you questions for Hilary Duff and you were like, fuck you. These aren't good questions. They were awful. So I don't know some questions for me. No, I did it because she was like she would write them, you know, what took you so long and you one bit. I don't this is a bad idea, but it about everybody. Shut up.


Well, I said her questions for Hilary Duff and she was like, dude, like everyone's asked these questions. So anything I would have asked you, I was like, well, Whitney will just say everyone's asked her these questions. Yeah. So I'm surprised you asked her about it on the Briggle.


Ernest, don't even I went to college. It was a shit show, the the the amount of money I took out to go to college, to do to to do nothing, I'm doing absolutely nothing with that degree. But I still got to have the money back. You know, who's helping me out? And you know why they're helping me? Because interest rates at an all time low, which means it's a great time to refinance your student loans, make lower monthly payments.


That's what helped me do. Are you still paying the same rate when you graduated?


I hope you're not. Donna Martin graduated, huh?


Do you get that for now? Yes, of course. I've seen reports regorafenib reenacted it.


It's just so crazy to me at a time like this when we're in political turmoil, that people are paying for college, paying off college for to learn how to do jobs that don't exist.


It's crazy to me that you think about nine year olds should be allowed to take out a three hundred thousand dollar loan but can't drink.


What will I do? How will this money have to pay back? Drink.


It's such a scam. A scam. It's such the charlatan. The snake of collegiate tomfoolery is going on.


But Earnest is the easiest way to refinance your student loans. Saving you time and money they check for your new rate is fast and easy.


You can start with.


You just have OK, you just you go to college because your college is your college was a shit show and I had very great grades, by the way. Great, great, great, great. That's not bad grammar. So here's the deal.


No, you're taking on everybody that went to college is being haunted by debt collectors and bill people. Ernest, we've talked about Ernest before on the show. Ernest solves it. Ernest makes you have less regret about your choices.


Ernest customizable long term, the mals no fees. You can get them. You can combine private and federal loans, which is awesome because you have one single monthly payment. Plus Ernest has the best rated customer service or customer service rated nine point four out of ten on trust.


I mean, that's that says everything you need to know.


People that leave reviews, they're not lying about if it's good or bad.


I know, but but usually when people leave, reviews are just trolls. Yeah. So I'm going to go out of their way to leave a good review. Is there really helping them out.


Thanks, Ernest. Start saving today. Our listeners get one hundred dollars cash bonus when you refinance a student loan at Ernest Dotcom slash Whitney. That's one hundred dollar cash bonus. When you finance a student loan at earnest dot com slash Whitney, go to Earnest's dot com slash Whitney today.


Terms and conditions apply them. It takes every ounce of willpower from me to not sing woop. There it is. Woop, I know it's an iconic song. I'm wearing the band and you know this you know this about me. I'm so starstruck.


It's a fitness wearable. Yes, it is. Which is a term that sounds real cool.


I wanted to point that out. We are a part of a group of elite elite athletes.


Yes. The fact that Woop lets me wear their product means I am.


The fact that Woop lets me with our products is truly a testament to the fact that they want everyone to have to just do the loop and is going to be the new iPhone you do like I think everyone is going to have a band at all times because it tells you how like it is connected to your iPhone, it's connected to your iPhone.


But I mean, it's like it's going to be a staple in your.


It's going to be like denim. It's going to be like, yeah, it's going to be a staple staple.


It'll be in your closet by your peacoat.


It's like this is what we wanted from the future. The future is here. That's what it is. Yeah.


This really tells you everything that's going on in your body.


It tells you our recovery score based on your sleep resting heart rate, heart rate variability, how well you worked out when you need to take a nap or a break.


This is what you used to have to go to a doctor, a trainer and nutritionist, fictionist to sit in Wal-Mart and put your arm in the blood machine, a little machine.


It was swell up. You don't know what that was doing. That was fake. You had to go and you had to be hooked up to machines and sleep in a glass room.


Doctor, watch one cute little bracelet. Yeah, what you can change the band colors, people like that.


It's kind of like a Power Ranger vibe. It's like it's very low Power Rangers, like a go go Power Ranger.


It makes me feel like a super hero and it kind of makes you want to compete with yourself.


It's like you did this one yesterday. Can you do better today? And if you can't, it's like, you know what?


We all need to like having a personal trainer and an assistant and a cheerleader and a therapist and a sleep coach, but that doesn't roll their eyes or judge you or get jealous of you or get mad at you. It's waterproof.


You never have to take it off. Literally. The charger goes on the breast. Can you wear the charger?


Makes me angry that this is I didn't think of this. Oh yeah.


It should have been. I do like it. It makes me angry that we haven't always had this. Are a lot of things that I wish I would have thought of, like I'm jealous of the people that get to live with just this lupin's forever because I'm like, you don't know what it was like.


I'm going to be the old lady. That's like we used to walk to school with newspapers on our feet. I'm like, we didn't know our heart rate and my day.


Like, that's why I don't even know if I was asleep like I did. You know, you have to close your eyes. Did you know people tell me who tells you what kind of sleep you just had. There's different kinds of sleep. Some sometimes your sleep is trash. Yeah.


Sometimes your garbage sleep. Ever felt it sleeping, you piece of crap. So woops. Like yeah. Your you think you were asleep for eight hours but you were actually asleep for six hours. Yeah.


You work for six hours and the other couple of hours you know what you were doing. Flopping around while you run out of the bed, once you do this, it'll be like, how about next time you put yourself in the bed?


It's very helpful, but very helpful.


It provides you with weekly and monthly performance reports, tells you how your lifestyle decisions impact your sleep recovery and training.


It gives you all the answers you're looking. It's highly personal because you also do go genie. Is it a genie?


You also go in and input. It's like a diary builtin. You go in and input. Today I had a fight today. I was stressed in traffic and it tells you that affected your heart rate. You just sleep more like Google.


It's like your own personal Google is everything.


It's like Googling yourself tells your it's crazy. It knows everything about you. It's like the CIA is is is hunting you and is on your wrist.


Yeah. Who needs Tinder now? There's a woman you found your soul mate who is offering 50 percent off right now is what the code Whitney at checkout. Go to woop.


Oh, man. Guys, don't be that dork that doesn't have a little bad. Don't be the dork that doesn't know how you sleep last night. That doesn't know your own heart rate. That doesn't know your recovery out like don't like that door. Don't be that dark. Whoopers offering 50 percent off right now with the code.


Whitney, check out go to woop op dotcom and enter Whitney and check out to say 50 percent off, sleep better, recover faster, train smarter. Optimize your performance with hooped today.


You would have painted with this motherfucker, you're that type dude we need to paint, you would do it. I mean, I told this to Whitney a couple of months ago. I've had multiple men I've dated read aloud to me from books. So I was like, is this not a thing?


But so painting sounds cool. It was really sweet reading aloud. Yeah. Was it showing you the pictures or was it just like at least show the paint was good night.


I think so. I think this is mine. Here's what I think happened.


I think men are listening. We we made a big stink not to this part.


You know, not to mention General, either they heard our complaints.


They're trying to course correct. They what they watch, whatever they watch, women like me go, why the fuck you guys pull it together and pay for dates? A bit of that and a little bit of that. And I trashmen for ten years. They listen now. They're like, great, let's paint together all your books. And we're like the opposite end of the spectrum. He set up two easels. He had two easels in his paint room, slash his garage and a playlist.




So you're clutching your pocket. This is great. This is so much effort. But when I pulled up, he squeezed a flower off the is like scrooged it up, that's a word in his fingers and shoves it in my nose and was like smiling.


Oh, that's weird. Yeah, that's crazy.


Let me taste test a taste as a cumquat that he grew in his backyard. Is that crossing a line just trying to see if you or swallowed I think.


And it was I was I eat it with the skin on but he told me to. He told me to. He's going to eat, you know, he's going to peel my skin off first.


And then I think, man, ah, I think your generation is trying. I dated a younger guy recently, which my version of younger is very old for you guys, but I dated younger guy recently and it was like he like worshipped me and I was like, what is this, what's happening?


Yeah, you were I was disgusted. I was disgusted. Like, you want me to have an orgasm? It's like I haven't reached that level.


You had an orgasm, you know, and I know you have to listen to the podcast, but I have not I have not at all. And I think well, everyone on the block, that's why I'm booking roles on the show today. We will reach climax booking roles because of you. Do you want me for my number? That's fun.


It's fine. I bring an audience already built in, you know, so. So you get on the second day, two months later, not OK. Well, on a second date and then he put a psychological test on me.


He was like, OK, imagine you're in a room and imagine you have a focus.


And I was like, oh yeah. This is like millennial nice living room. And he was like, where would you put that? Like is in the room. OK, now there's water coming out of the room. Where would you put the water? Would you water the plant? Would you water like have water in the corner for you to drink and like it was all is like where would you play certain things in a room. And you once I said, what's the answer?


It's an escape route. No, no, there's no door in the room. He didn't offer a door. Oh my God. But mentally trapped in this game that he was playing. And then he dissected like the plant was in the middle of the room because you appreciate life so much and you want to like the water was raining right over the plan. I was like, of course, anybody would put water, random water in a room into the plant.


The one thing that needs it. And it's like you want to, you know, nourish the relationships you have in your life.


And for a second, you put the table in the corner of the room because that's your platform or what you would consider to be your platform. And then you put it back in the center. So you're hesitant like it was a weird psychological break down on the second date. Do no one's joining your call?


I did, though.


I did. Like, OK, so we know who this is. I don't know. Did you make out what.


God, no, I don't know who. OK, cool.


I was looking him. What I mean is I am I'm significantly younger than you.


I'm looking him up. You're wildly out of his league. He definitely has a career.


What do you mean I'm out of his league? No, he. This is. Oh my God. What did you see. How is he. How tall is he. Five, eight, nine maybe.


No, why can I tell you something. So this guy I'm looking at this guy, you guys, he's a fucking doofus doofus. He's it. And the men that are doofuses have to play mind games like cutting this part out.


He's going to watch this and have to apologize for it. Literally have to put up a notes apology to him.


Why are you still dating? No, I don't know. How long ago was this two years ago of getting researched? All the fun emotions for me that now I want to go on a third date with him. You're not like the Stockholm Syndrome. This is not. See, this is why you guys need me. I can help. I can't help you with Twitter. Numbers are comments are like I could help you with men. This is the one thing I know that I fucked up.


Dude, I can't I can't help. You would take dogood realise that I am a narcissist when I fucking see one. Really? Yes. This is a no all red flag. How can you tell from a visual. How can you tell from from me.


If you didn't hear that story you to go together you wouldn't know if you hadn't heard the Ficca story. Yeah you wouldn't if it wasn't for that last. We're just like the piece I was leaving out when I would tell my friends, because I was like, am I going a third day? I don't know. They're like, do it. He loves art.


He loves them enough at the moment. The movie, I was going to be good enough for her. You're looking at Fadillah where he has a small dick, you know, just doesn't have enough to come from him setting it up like his high life. This is my biggest red flag for guys in their roles. When they're highlight's, pictures aren't centered properly. Senator, your highlight avatar dudes get it together, you fucking boomer or you're. Yeah, that's right.


In the sun.


But so OK. So that was two dates.


Two months between a date is not acceptable, but it was like we were both trying to meet up and then didn't we attempt to people that you are into, maybe not me, maybe him, maybe he was trying to make time.


You know, I kept saying you're too busy.


Yeah, I was saying no without my reino, OK. Oh, before I gave you a RINO, you were capable of saying, got it right.


Now get back.


I want to know what animal figurines you gave you. I don't. She's given me a lot of jackets. Yeah. Yeah, I've gotten a lot of books. She gave me a book called The Courage to be Disliked.


So that's where we're at. And I give her self-help books. Yes.


Mostly the fact that I know that because you went through her office is so sweet of me. It's terrifying. Yeah, I know. I know. I did my research. That's book. They're so scary. What happened?


What's who do you want to go out with? Him on a third day. Do you like him? I just I don't I've never received attention like that. Like, that was really thought out and terrifying, but like, it was the thrill of it all that I don't know.


I don't really think I have a time because I have, like, scrolled through and, like, seen what I swipe left or right do. I'm not on any dating apps. None of you can I be. Yeah. I was the oldest guy you dated. This guy did.


Yeah, like the oldest. He's like the oldest person I've gone on a date on with. Yeah. Yeah. Twenty eight. OK, but other than that it was just my age and he was trying to make out with you know.


That's weird, I know.


I sure hope I don't get it like these extra couple student gorge, they're always symmetrical but supple, OK?


She has a symmetrical face, right? Yeah, well, so do you. So like you guys confidently say, here's the.


Thank you. Here's the here's the part that fascinates me about you. You've had to look at yourself for so long. You got famous, so young. That can't be healthy. Oh, not at all. But it also doesn't stop me. Like, even though you have the feature on Zoom to, like, hide yourself, you I still only click and I pin my own video and look at myself on a call with you're talking to a 30 year old.


I don't know everything else. That is just gibberish. No I don't.


You mean Skype like the Daily Show you single handedly keeping Skype?


Oh, no, I'm just saying, like, it has to be traumatizing to be that famous, that young and to see your own. We're not designed to see ourselves that much. The fact that you think you're asymmetrical, I'm not going to fight with you about it because I will win and I won't embarrass you. But it's more like like what is that done to your dysmorphia? Are you dysmorphic?


Oh, hundred percent.


I have not like I stopped doing YouTube about like two years ago, like consistently because I couldn't handle editing myself or that that's why I take pictures. That's why I would take pictures of our breakfast to give us like a break from looking at ourselves. Like that's purely the reason why.


Oh, you're blowing less of a sponsorship from beyond me, which I do.


So make sure to get the Italian sausage. It's good time for my really good. Really good. And I'm not happy. I got I got some impossible hotdogs downstairs or beyond meat. Hot dogs don't say impossible. That's literally against my FTC guidelines.


Please don't do anything so much about bad guys. We talk about voting again either. Oh my God. So OK. So but you're not insecure. Oh my God.


Yes, that's where I think I was clean to her that I have social anxiety and which is like such an ironic thing to have a social quote unquote invalid's.


But I am terribly, terribly like you shouldn't have anxiety because people want stuff from you should I mean, it's your body trying to protect itself.


And I want to give it to them, which is a people pleasing tendencies in. But I. Do you have a hard time saying no? Yes. Really, you're right.


You're clearly into the high pitched voice when I agreed to do this. Maybe, but no, I have someone that protects you. My right.


No, I gave her a rhinoceros.


My I feel like my my sister my sister just started working with me about two months ago, which is like my dad and his.


Well, I know one of the two.


I don't know which one I know I've been stolen from, but most already emotionally, you know, just from other people.


But no, my sister is like my ultimate protector, like she she's always looking out for me. So that's that's my life partner now. Oh, my God. Put that out there. Yes. Yes, I do.


Hounded by bodyguards. Yeah. I don't have a gate either. Like you're you're really putting me out there.


I, I live live alone and I have no I'm in your life now to fuck with you. OK, good. Good.


Yeah. Me and my dog. So you're not texting with it. Flirting with anyone right now. No I, I don't know, I don't know how I don't, I know it's so sad.


It's like so lost like so this puppy. Yeah. But I don't know how. I don't. I haven't. And so this guy didn't make out with because I'm always one because I've been told that I'm awkward on dates and that I, I get very asexual and nervous. I don't like making the first move. I want to be totally Beda in my relationships. I know I'm not supposed says I am super childish. I am like whatever women are equal, I got it.


But like I, I do not want in my relationship to be the pursuer, ok.


I want to be chaste, I want to be initiated. I don't want to do anything that's so cool, you know that.


I have no idea what I want. A lot of times guys perceive that as like I'm scared and I'm not interested. I'm like, no, I just want you to be proactive.


Yeah, no, I think work work for it. That's like that's a sense of knowing your self worth to. Right. Are you being I'm wondering if you because you were being awkward. This is your I think one hundred percent. Yeah. It's on me. I felt bad for the shitty date that he had. Like I did not paint very well and I feel that was the best.


Yeah I it could have been. Well the fact was that he had two easels and he set one aside and was like, I just want to watch you or like help you paint.


And then I was like, why is everything in the room covered in Saran Wrap, all those ninja stars doing in the corner and we were barefoot.


There's a play like that. I don't know. I maybe it was awkward. I probably just was straight up awkward.


I am awkward on dates and guys go, I didn't think I could kiss you. You were being shifty and shady, you critchfield. Yes. I thought. You OK? Yeah. No, I definitely have an awkward shield. You said asexual. Is that what you saying that about yourself.


I've been told that I get like on dates. I get I never want to come. Maybe this is old programming, I've never one not wanting to come off slutty in my day, it was very slutty and unladylike and gross to make out with the guy on the first day.


You have to play hard to get and you have to sort of like, not be too sexual. I have shame around.


Well, that's me. Because you have boobs. I don't have boobs. That's a fake. I didn't have boobs when I started dating. Like, yeah, yeah. I didn't have boobs when I started dating. These are recent. No way.


OK, well I will go through that, that growth process and transition that I was in, like I was actually super awkward in the beginning because I had my boobs were asymmetrical.


No, I said, oh yeah, my boobs look like your face, my whole little cock. I got my nipples. My whole sternum actually looked exactly like I like you so much. You familiarity I wrote and everything.


And so I had I was, I was I'd want to make out with guys, but I'd be so afraid that they'd want to see my boobs. So I'd always want to leave my bra on.


So I was always constantly negotiating the wanting to hook up with someone, but like I needed to be in the dark and I don't want to take my shirt off and I have to be wearing a bra and I have to be at a certain angle. So, yeah, you made me that was a big part of it until I got boobs.


Now I'm like, yeah, I don't know that life. I only know what it's like to be kidnapped, which I'm tapped all the time. Let me explain what and who's a definition to tap is where like you're having a good time enjoying each other and he leans across the table to go and like this this is like your tits.


So that's not OK. But for me it was like we're brothers were bros.


So Bro Sophina is like that's that's the energy I give off of like already not having boobs and then also like caving in. Right. A little bit shaking. Yeah.


One time I went out on two dates with this guy. I fully thought we were like going to make out. He followed me to my house. We were like drinking a little bit and then rightest he came in to kiss me. I thought it was going to kiss me. He put his hand up and just went, All right, dude.


All right, dude, no, it wasn't a diagonal hug. All right, dude, it was a no, no, no, no.


Did he know what to do or. You know, I was like, no, he started doing that.


And I just panicked. Oh, God.


Remind me to get kind of a bummer. covid we've got now. We're in a pod. We're in a pod now. So you give all the energy. Yeah, because my mom thought I was a dude in the womb, so that masculine energy started from the jump.


So that's what I think I do. I do. I've been this has happened to me multiple times where I think I'm flirting with someone I can't ever, like, say I am, but I think I am. And then I get the tip tap and I'm like, oh, we're having brewskies.


And you also have a masculine energy by accident because you're a breadwinner.


Is that what you decide to do? That's right. But it's also are you to change that right now? You're going to be the one that changes it at that. So that's the only problem with that solid.


It's it's it's society's, but it's also there's a human nature thing involved in it, too, is like a biological basis for it, too, which is gross.


And I know I'm not. Well, OK, I get it. I'm all women stuck in my ways. I'm stubborn man. I would never joke about it. Enough self-awareness. It's what you get these access as long as you're not with you caught it before you say this. I just got it wrong because you keep saying gads with me I'm ok. Yeah. I'm so open to it. Please, I can do it.


You know there is a book we've kind of talked about in the podcast, the getting to I do a book. Did I give this to, you know where it's such a sexist book. It's so wildly sexist. My best friend from college gave it to me. Nicky, I love you. She's not famous so it's fine. And she gave me this. But it's all getting to. I do. And it's about how you can in every relationship, there needs to be masculine and feminine.


The woman can be the masculine and the man can be the feminine. But masculine is defined by giving and receiving, not going to be defined by giving and receiving.


So if you're the giver, you're masculine.


If you're the receiver, your feminine, the man can be the feminine and the woman can be the maskin. But you can't have two and raised.


So if you're the person. Hold on, Taylor. I know you're hot shit. I know you're the hot young comedian nipping at my heels. But give me one second. Auntie Whitney's finishing her point. So masculine is defined by the person making plans, the person giving gifts, the person initiating whatever.


So are the people who start making money are like, you know, I'll make the plans. I'll have my assistant make the plans. I'll buy him a gift. I'll plan the birthday surprise. I'll plan the vacation. That's all masculine essence. And that makes it so the man can't chase or hunt and be masculine. And so basically we have to just do absolutely fucking nothing if you want to be a man that has mastered energy. Wow. Taylor.


Yes. What can you tell me how old I am?


Actually, sir, as someone who hasn't read this very progressive book, can you take turns being that now feminine? You really you can't know. It's basically. But here's what I'll say if we want to really get into this, because I think we should. OK, Alpha is a is a very outdated word. Right. But let's just let's just use it. Let's not get into like Vocalic Wilkerson like nine levels with the common definition of Alpha. Is the person in charge.


Right. I don't know if you guys heard, but I'm an animal lover and I'm I'm alone and have no children.


So all I do is rescue animals because I don't know what to do with my money.


No children live right here. OK, so I work with this adopted sister, Wolf Rescue Wolf Connection.


And we take at risk youth to go communicate with the wolves.


I'm a hero. I know. I know you weren't. And and literally doing that today. I taking you. I'm taking you.


It's such a big deal because a lot of times people that especially kids that can't articulate their feelings, that have anger and resentment and rage, if you basically describe the wolves to them and say, OK, Bo is angry because he his father left when he was young and, you know, Jimmy the Wolf or his mom died and they go, I'm like, Jimmy, they can't say I'm angry and I feel abandoned.


I'm insecure. But if they say this Wolf is insecure about his status, they'll go, oh, my God, I'm like that, Wolf. Yeah, it's always an empowering thing, too, because, like, I'm like I'm a wolf who's insecure. Oh, wow.


So it's a way for them to, like, communicate their feelings in a way that's going to be an exercise, which is why you cannot let the wolf out like that one.


There's like ten wolves, right. And they're all rescue wolves. And we'll get into it another time about why there are rescue. All people are idiots. And it's a lot of people in Texas know that fight wolves in their basement. It's my nightmare. And so there's like ten wolves, right? And you walk up, it's a pack of wolves. One of them is pissing. One of them is sleeping. One of them is digging. One of them is, you know, building like a little nest.


One of them is howling. One of them is barking. One of them is instigating it. One of them's licking their own paws, whatever. And they're all in their enclosures. And the first thing they ask is which one is the alpha? Which one's the alpha eating, fighting, climbing, sleeping, pissing, digging. My brain goes to fighting, but that means I'm sleeping really hang out. If you're in month, you do this, the alpha sleeps.


So if you truly if you I don't think saying that you're in your feminine is an insult or degrading in any way because it's the person that does the least amount in the relationship.


Let the other person serve you and then you're the alpha. So it doesn't have to be degrading it, does it? It's like you do all the work which say, oh, I don't take it as degrading.


I'm just thinking of I guess I'm projecting in my relationships where I go like, oh, if I make more money, like, I want them to plan the thing, but I'll pay for the thing that was like switching off and like a compromise.


Right. Is that, you know, that 100 percent if I plan it, they pay. If I can they afford it.


The question could they if they wanted to. I think that's where you like, plan accordingly to their budget. Right.


Well, it's I'm saying if you want to do something cool, you're like, I'd like us to do this, I'll pay for it or I'll pay more than you will. But your contribution is either less than mine financially, but you have to plan all of imagine being a guy and fucking a girl in a fancy hotel room that she paid for. That sounds great.


That sounds awesome for that. It sounds like to the very simple answer is giving me a thumbs up and I don't buy it for a second, I think to be so empowering.


I landed this girl.


I'd rather pay the stable and is more this is a younger generation of guys and older if you pay your emasculating them.


Yeah. How have you found in your experiences? I know you're a mix.


I think sometimes you go on a first date, you split it. Yeah. Yeah.


It's split it on a first date that that would be on the date that I just met on line and still got it actually.


First date. No I want them to pay but then after that I'm good. I'm like just pay for you.


Do you offer to split your boyfriend using Taylor. Well, y y fucking y you're right. OK, I grew up very religious and part of you wants to be like just will you take care of me. Thank you for getting this coffee for five dollars from now on we split.


So do they know that they are supposed to guess. I mean, yeah, I'm not going to tell them like you pay now.


Yeah but yeah it's nice if they because you want someone is going to take care of you, but I don't need someone to take care of me financially. I need someone to contribute financially. So there's no resentment.


But I need someone to take care of my emotions more than anything else. So someone to pay for it in the hopes that they'll like make me feel taken care of. And once I know that they care about my feelings enough to go, I got it. Then I go, cool, that's great. From now on, I don't need you to pay for anything or nightmare.


So what did he pay for your brunch when you went to the brunch? Did he cover the paintbrushes?


I feel like I insisted twice. He covered the paint. They were like freshly cleaned, but he insisted twice that I would split with him.


And then he I think he ended.


And did you mean it? Did you were you meant it. I mean, it's like. Did you want to split it? They did. Why? Because then I probably for me, I don't I want to feel like I contributed.


It's like showing pain. Really. Let them pay you. I let them pay. I try a third time. Why are we trying what is this rigamarole that we're trying to do? So you walk in expecting them to pay? Well, look, I, I can split this with you. I can show you. You can do you offer. I get this is usually what I do. I'm going to tell you be authentic. I'm going to do I'm going to try, we'll try and see if I get some more followers.


That's what it looks like. We'll try it your way. You know, just be authentic to a camera. This will do on Instagram liveness. It's not working as well for me.


It's mad that I wasn't to have you brought me here and I didn't do what you want.


I know she has a dad. Me, we're streaming on Twitch with the authenticity Twitch does the word twitch makes me do a key goal for some reason.


So then one of Lockton, one right now for student life is one long look like giggle. There's like three eggs clutching all three different parts of my fallopian tubes, three eggs.


That's how fertile she is. She doesn't even know. Good. Don't you have no idea. I just threw it out. Dr..


No. So you just say she's even harder works. That's how fertile she is. This is this is a side story. But funny enough, I went to a gynecologist and she was like, you're entering early stages of menopause with your. Yeah.


Isn't that rude that she looked at me just like you're entering menopause prematurely.


You're so rich. Like that's how stressed out I am about all my shit that like I'm like, no, no, no, it's not. Do you really. Do you with that.


P.S., PCOS, do we have the same uterus, ovarian cysts syndrome, huh, something that can all be added up, polycystic polycystic ovarian syndrome?


Yes. So I had like I would pass this in high school and I had to go to the doctor because that was my appendix. But blockbusting. It was. And it was just always so much like intense pain from this.


You have really long periods through.


I didn't know. And it says, like, I also have a lot of testosterone, too, which got tested and I don't have it here.


So that's true. You did tell me you shaved your face yesterday. I did. I shaved my face yesterday with what I told her. I bring her along for an ADHD Durney. And I know that I basically claim that you are, but I truly am. And I've brought her everywhere with me. I did. I shave my face like I found it to match my, like, manic energy.


I'm in total heaven. Both were flailing and like Spathis like A is not a lot to say. Spazzed counseled me.


So she's aware I shaved my face for God.


If you're successful, you let everyone who's my my skin care line that I have coming out, which, you know, who doesn't have a beauty line. Every celebrity has me, but I shave my face for it.


So it's super unrealistic. Is it the first time you relatable in the commercial? I am very demeaning to impossible beauties now. Yeah.


So what did you shave your face with this little like. Like razor. Like a dermatology. Yeah, yeah. It's a little boy that goes upwards and now it's like by the photos and this is right.


Really close. Yes I am somewhat. Thanks for saying like that.


People have been saying like sest more and like that's like that is like shortened incest.


Same one. Yeah. I say well of course you have a skin care line and of course it's going to be fucking massive. You look incredible. I mean Whitney has good skin and layers.


You were like glowing. Thanks. Don't do that. Don't do that. I truly do have layers on to cover the like in growing hairs right now.


But let me ask, OK, what have you ever shaved your face before? I did.


I did once and I didn't want to do it again. Then I did it again. But why did you do it? They made you or you wanted to. I can't help but say yes to everything someone told you you needed to face.


They were like, have you ever shaved your face before? And I was like, no, I mean. I mean, I have before. But like, is that something you guys want me to do?


And they're like, no, I mean, who's they? Are you you're the boss. You're the day. They're like, it's just gonna be really up close shots. And I was like, I've done it before for up close shots. Wait, so your job what do we put filter. I use the dot your filter. We also wanted to see how it looks over my you don't need to know when cornered me. I know. Very productive.


No I wanted to shave it again so like I did. But you did, you wanted to get involved in this beauty brand because there's no chemicals and it's all natural and you have rosacea. Oh my God. I will. No I didn't have rosacea that way. Your eyes are pink. That's what. No, it's my CBD just kicking in. It's still affects you just like your smoking. No, it was. It was I had eczema and molossia growing up in Malaysia is like like basically Blackfield pimple pimples, which is disgusting.


I have such bad acne. What's the difference. Oh yeah. I had, I was on Accutane twice.


Well like cystic I'd have to. Your skin is beautiful. Thank you.


Because I used to clean being great. But it is, it's, it's like, I mean every so many brands claim like being in cruelty free.


When did you have these, this, this twelve to like. No no. Eight to be about fourteen, fifteen and like that's already going through.


So I mean this is why you're so sure it is really in having skin stuff is the most in bear. I used to being sick. I couldn't go to school like I would like to take on makeup like I was, I was terrified it was a cure for you.


Well what did you find that ended up working? I did Accutane twice and I got a facelift. I know I did Accutane when I was 16. And Accutane. Have you heard of Accutane? My sister's about to be on it. Really? Yeah. How old is she after this? I'm mean, suggest that we need to talk. She's twice, she's thirty two so. Yeah.


Thirty two what. OK, will you put me on a chain with her. Yeah I'm, I'm serious because I thought they stopped selling it. The FDA was like this is on Lamido, you have to be on birth control simultaneously because if you get pregnant the babies will have birth defects. I mean it's like a crazy medication. It shrinks your oil glands in your face and the side effects are wild, like it's like anal bleeding. I did not have that.


I did not have that.


You can say yes. You sure? Yeah. I mean, I'm sure I have had it at first, but I don't think it was from that. I'm real, I'm authentic. And then I would just be sitting in class and like sheets of your skin. I'll just flake off like just pastry sheets just in the middle of the day. I mean, it's your skin gets worse before it gets better.


It's mostly like like in the like, deeply rooted scar tissue. Yes, yes, yes.


It gets worse before it gets better. It's six. Your lips are chapped. You're like bleeding. It's like your face is cracking off. I did when I was sixteen. Then I did it again when I was twenty one. Oh wow.




And do you feel like that after twenty one it just really died out because what it does is it shrinks your oil glands. And then I stopped putting chemicals on my face. I used to be the like whack a mole. I would put like like. Yeah. Salicylic acid and Retin-A, all this shit, right, and then I finally just stopped and started using natural stuff. Oh, what was a natural? I just use grapeseed oil and oils and samone.


Yeah, OK.


Well, I'm acting like I don't know what you want because you went through your bathroom video too with Esther and Placenta's. Get why I brought you here. And you're using Hillary and your eggs, your Ceglia. If we can get them out of there, that tight ass pussy it like I don't believe I have one anymore. It is. It is. I mean, you are going to get so many dandachi.


Sorry, you're just bragging.


No, I did the same thing. I ended up going into like natural remedies and like mixing my own mask and stuff like that. And then I found a company that like they really care. They really and like to meet the humans behind something like changes the whole experience. They care. They like love their kids. They want to. I know concept they wanted there were kids not by mistake. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


A mistake to think like they care so much and like they're also verified which is a whole other story. Yeah. Like I sat down with this woman to verified environmental working group which is this whole company devoted to like making sure that the ingredients that go into your products are should have been a part of this regulated industry. We should have revisited the beauty industry and like the shit that we're allowed to this generation. Like we I mean, the shit I used on my skin when I was a kid, like the Irish Spring and the fucking not Zema in the sea breeze.


I mean, like, how is that shit legal? Like you're the first generation. It's like, hey, maybe we should, like, look at the ingredients on the cherno, putting on our children, read a label. You're the first generation. That's like what we put on our skin is kind of going into our bloodstream. Like maybe this is why we've got why we're eating tide pods. Our shampoo is full of fucking poison. Yeah. Like you're the first generation is.


That's like asking these questions. Yeah.


I mean they were the ones that prompted the questions and I'm like, oh my God, these are the ones I should have been asking all along, like it was seeping into my skin affecting me hormonally to which already clearly have a hormone imbalance, some sort of PCOS like that in itself, like you don't even realize what you're putting on into your body.


So like to make something really special, like to put, like, the answer on the shelf to the questions I had as a kid is like the coolest thing.


And also just to, like, trust, like for me, it's like I don't have time to like I have the cruelty cutter like app and stuff like that and the cruelty free stuff. But it's like I don't have time to like go through every single thing. It's like when you get a brand that you're like, I just trust these people and anything they put out, I'll just buy. Right.


I got full on vegan with your products like. Well, you have to. I do consume human babies. I mean, no cruelty to animals, just multiple and feed it and zygotes only like any of these words.


I mean, I only know the word eggs.


You are a zygote. Oh, you just learn about it.


Yeah. I'm really careful with what I put on my skin. I do some like I do alpha lipoic acid. What. Yeah, I'm sorry.


I'm just saying it's starting again just for emphasis. It's so beautiful. So that's very nice. Yeah. You get that all the time. That's nice. Thank you. I'm not really that good. I have a lot of dysmorphia around my skin. I appreciate it. You truly we all, we all see things that aren't there and I'm no exception.


Well it seems like a glove from the inside but I also another compliment if I made it Taylor go on during the day.


Someone has respect of your makeup artist. This is not so much fun as respect for their elders.


I have so much drawn with my skin because I also when I sort of started doing stand up, I well, I don't have money, you know, I didn't I didn't know how to put makeup on. We didn't have YouTube people doing makeup all the time.


We were just fucking winging it. I know in the car I saw for gigs I would like do my own makeup with, like, wet and wild, like, you know, using eyeliner and lip line. That's why I wear brown lip liner because it was the same as my eyeliner. Like I didn't I was poor, you know. Oh yes. I'm so sorry.


OK, now I herpes. Why are you still talking about it. Get over it.


Look at where you are. My God. Someone said it. But the check why it don't. Why do you expect they talking about my problems twenty years ago. Can't be reliable. I'm not saying success is not reliable. I pray tell it like it is. So I didn't know how to do makeup. I looked like shit all the time and I also yeah I did know how to do my makeup and I didn't know how to use powder and shit.


I was like shiny a little jabbing myself. I know with I don't touch your face so much.


And then also I was always told and this really this is an old story about myself that other people wrote like when I first started. I like getting on TV and stuff and doing the roast and stuff. It was always like Whitney lies about her age and she's older than she says she is, which I was like I was not eating. I was not taking care of myself. I'm sure I look. Haggard, exhausted eye bags under my eyes, like I agree with that, I agree with you guys, but I still have in my head like voices from the haters.


Like 15 years ago.


I knew I was affected, you guys. I was like, how are they? Not everybody's like has the stone cold armor around them and everybody shooting these little Poipu at each other.


You were affected? Yeah, it was emotional abuse caught on television. So are you OK now? You know, this generation isn't doing your trash, Rose. They're terrible.


It is, literally. Have you been in one? No, I've always said no. Yeah.


I mean, she hangs out with me, so I keep gets enough of it without getting paid while I mean, I'm broken. I dated a roast writer. Like, I don't get me wrong. I was in there. I didn't do it.


Oh, I mean it.


We televised emotional abuse, right? Yeah. That taught me how to do that to my friends. And then I had to work. You're not doing that to my friends. But like I mean I mean, your friends were what do you just look at my generation like we are just the worst. I look at it like shit.


We've so much work to do. And we had it. We made it. We got to look at what we have. Create like what? And also like what we put on television. Like, did you grow up just going like what is like what are these these like like something you're taking all the blame for.


Like I'm so we decide I change Hollywood, I put women on television, they put girls on television, starting businesses. I will take. But I'm saying like that I, I remember just going like even me.


I was like, why is every show about a girl about like is he going to text me back. Like that's every story, that's the formula and it's still being made to this day. Like on Netflix you can watch so many. I love Netflix.


Go watch working but there's so many. Yeah. Like that's the formula, like that's what's been done. And so we're barely tweaking it. But like we're adding this like Gen Z, like self-aware, like sometimes fourth wall break. You might do it, but it's still bad.


Like those movies are still being made of like girl against girl type shit.


Yeah, but I like watching.


You know, I'm obsessed with your show. Oh my God. Lies on demand. Thank God I finally got McLaglen before you could.


I truly tried to hire McLaglen Glenn who plays her Fred on the show and Liza had gotten her first. Yeah.


Which was our beef started and which is why I'm harvesting her ovaries to look young.


But I only have one person, one to like two episodes in. There's no dating stories. Yeah, no, I didn't want that. No, because had nothing. You know, you write what you know and I do not know any of that. So I couldn't, I couldn't write that from and no one was like can we get a love interest.


Like I mean no notes and shit. No, that was that was actually like very much so for me, being like, I don't want to have that. Like, I want this to be an independent little girl who looks like she's dressed in the orphan line from Urban Outfitters. I do look like small Charlie Chaplin in the picture.


Most of the series like is this stranger things I like to be his own inside out and to make a documentary on penguin penguins. OK, so nice of you.


Can you give for the copy my book about being codependent? She's driving to the airport with me. Give her my book. Could you, could you sign this instead of Whitney's book.


I'm a good friend and fuck you Whitney. So nice to meet you. You're an inspiration.


I'm talking to Eliza, not Whitney, but I do see you.


She has to go soon. I have to let her go because I know you're not going to be able to leave on your own. I literally don't know where your time is gone. You're so enjoyable. Take that. Except to receive it. Say you're going to receive it.


I know it's your practice. I won't. We're going to do it again. OK, I'm going to make you do this again.


Can we risk you have to know I feel like my role is enough. I got rolling this. We are not rolling. I love how you knew I was going to look at myself. So you turn off the screen over here. Unless that was for her. That was for me. Because I get distracted. Really. I tell him, ask him to turn it off. I start looking at myself and I get co-dependent. I just get co-dependent for the other person.


And then I get in my own head about how I look. Really? Yeah.


I start looking at my arm. I start looking at my shadow on my arm.


You know, you're literally beautiful. I like you, as are you. But this that's not has nothing to do with it. I know that we think about ourselves, has nothing to do with the truth.


Oh, my God. It's not it's all science fiction. None of it's real. Seventy-Seven I said, I don't think I talked about that in my book. Beautiful, but yeah, we everything I try to look at our thoughts like I used to look at my inner monologue as facts and now I look at it as like a Star Wars movie.


What age, what age did that click? I was eight years into a 12 step program called Allanah and was doing extensive inner child work, probably like five, six years ago, I started being able to go like, that's not true.


And it was like, you're not good enough.


Like, I started being able to see that my thoughts not as the truth, but as like a bum on the street, like a schizophrenic drug addict, just like yelling crazy things where you'd go like, wow, that's a that's a crazy Bryton. Like, why would I believe these old thoughts that were formed when I was 10 trying to get my drunk mom's approval and then I defaulted to these weird assumptions of like, I guess I'm not good enough.


And then like at thirty eight, like, why do I still nothing. I'm good enough. That's just, that's just that's like thinking the earth is flat. That's like you're just like a.. Voxer at this point. Almost like not true.


So many valid points. I mean I don't know which one to address but that was beautiful. Like you're so insanely emotionally aware and equipped now to handle somebody.


I'm not like yourself. Like it's like it's not cute anymore. It's certainly my generation. But it sounds crazy coming from someone like you.


I mean, that's that's my my underlying thing. My outward personality persona that I've created that people think is authentic is that I don't have that authenticity. I've carefully crafted fabricated authenticity. I'm acting that is is very much like believe in yourself. Like that is the whole new like where's the fun in it?


That is the whole new like being the ultimate accepting hype woman of yourself. Yeah. Be there for others.


That's exactly what you're doing though by like giving me a rhino and like giving me the advice and like armor to like go out into the world.


But I also think that it's like really quick. I know you have to go. She has to go. And I'm now like, stop making me sound like that. I know. But it's rude of me to keep being a bully. You're literally cornered and there's no way I hate it when people if you leave, you're going to look like an asshole. You're like blocking up. My dog is standing between her and the door, like I'm not letting her leave.


It's rude of me because you set a boundary and I'm not respecting it. Know that I have to leave it one thirty or so. It's one fifty. It's one fifty. I have to let you go.


It's one fifty. I have to let you go. I hate that.


I hate that so much to do. I told them I was like I. I'm so glad that you set a boundary. I'm sorry that I crossed it.


You know, still, as long as you have it, I want to support you. And I'm being selfish and I'm going to. But I will ask you, you're allowed to say no, I like love you.


I'm so thankful for this experience again in fucking fuck you stop. Yeah. Continue to do like I love saying that. I'm so mad with that guy because I want to spend more time here. We all what. We'll do it again. This is a boundary you set with my people to make it seem like had other shit to do today. But you really contacted them and said I want her out of here by one by she's five minutes left. She's not out.


I'm going to give her I can't tell if we're going to change each other's lives or destroy each other.


I suppose I tell this is like Handcock, like the superheroes get together and, like, become weak.


I know that I you're going to this is so inspiring to so many people that you set a boundary ahead of time. And I respected it. And you said, what, you end up getting upset. You don't say it mean I love you. I and these very awkwardly I start them awkwardly and I oh, everything's awkward. I'm the worst I goodbyes, which is why I just hope for continuation of all of this one.