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Hey, Weirdo's, I'm Alina Ammash, and this is morbid. This is more about the Listener Tails episode. I love listening, retail sales, sales, sales. We love listener tales. You guys are funny. You're spooky, you're awesome.


You could just like you have a way of writing to my to my taste. You write to my soul.


I laughed out loud at some of these.


I laughed out loud at almost all of these. Well, except when they're terrifying or yet. Yeah. Don't laugh. Don't laugh at those one. That's all. But the ones that are supposed to be ones that start out with bras, but I always end up laughing at are like when they're like bitches, bitches. I used to hate that, but now I love it. I always loved it. Yeah, always you did. And I always will.


Sometimes I have moments where I'm just like a little too like clutch the pearls you are. And then I remember that I'm trash like when you get scared on the hayride.


Oh so because this is a listener tails episode, a quote unquote many which doesn't exist, really not a thing.


We don't have a lot of business. We hope you guys like to live stream. Hope you liked being able to hear the audio of it. I'm sorry that the microphones for the audio were a little wonky. Sorry that I kept Buben the little thing with my B.


Yeah, but we, we were kind of out of control from that. Those weren't our microphones. We were out of control. We're out of control. But yeah, that's not clearly how our microphones sound. So we apologize for that.


But hopefully everybody does it. I think.


Oh, the one thing I did want to say was a couple of people told me that in the Irish varnishing triangle episodes.


Yeah, you pronounce the one that's the the people whose name is spelled CIA instead of Quiara.


Is it Cura?


And I should have known that I took like two different sources and somebody called them Quiara and somebody called them Quiara.


And I just went with the one that flowed out of my mouth quicker and that was quiara. Make sense.


But thank you for telling me because that makes a lot more sense.


Cura reminds me of Rheba. I got the hardcourt right instead of Sciarra, but I got like halfway there and then I got it wrong. You know, when I was doing the Instagram post, my stomach dropped and I was like, Ilina, I didn't say it to you, but I was like, what if her name is Sciarra? And I was like, she knows that. Well, no, I knew it was a hard core. But yeah, you guys are right.


It's quiara, especially in Ireland. So thank you for telling me that. I appreciate it.


And so that was, you know, Chiara, Chiara, Brene, go see it gets stuck in my head. But thank you.


So I just want to tell you that. But let's just jump in to listen or tell us because we don't have any business to attend to. Do you want to go first? I want to go first. Go ahead, my friend. So this one's called bro. See, I love one that starts with bro. We love it. And I mean, literally, my bro saw some things as a child and I'm sure that I also love the Nicki Minaj reference there.


I didn't even know that was a Nicki Minaj. I'm taking it as one. I don't know if it is. I love it. So it says, what the fuck is up?


I don't know, girl. My name is jhana, pronounced like jhana. It's Italian as fuck. So yeah. And you can call me G. I like to use one of my best friend's names.


There you go. I absolutely love your podcast and I'm kind of thankful I found you guys recently because now I have so many incredible spook spook stories to listen to catch up on piesse. Sorry my story is a little long, but I promise you it's worth the read. Trust me, guys, your stories are never too long because they're not the latest thing.


It's not. I hate short things except for myself. So but actually, first off, I have to say that I've always been a firm believer in all things supernatural and have always felt a connection to at least some kind of openness to the spiritual world. My family is very connected, and even though my brother is slightly, slightly more skeptical, he had an experience as a child that simply cannot be explained and honestly still gives me and my entire family chills.


I'm ready. Are you ready? I'm ready, G.


My mom told us that when my brother and I were about four or five, he would get terrible nightmares to the point where he would wake up sobbing.


Oh, that's so sad that his son, my mom, of course, would go in his room to console him and put him back to bed.


The bad dreams continued for a while, so my mom tried to figure out what was going on and started asking him about what was happening during his dreams. She said, my brother wouldn't remember much about the dreams themselves, but that he would mention the man in his closet.


I personally related to this because. Do you remember the lady in my closet? I do. She did.


And have a body. She was just made of bones.


Yeah, you remember that, right? And, you know, in my kids actually saw people with scissors outside of their room. That's fucked up. So that's fun. Cutting their sheets. Yeah. It's always fun when your kids are like, yeah, you know, that really terrifying thing that you have to pretend is not terrifying. It makes me question whether or not I'm going to pop out some of those suckers for real.


Being a parent is that's one of the hardest things about being a parent is keeping your face completely stone.


Yeah. Is some shit like there's somebody with scissors standing in the hallway trying to cut my hair so silly.


You have to just be like, that's fine, young child.


I hope I don't get stabbed saving your ass. Nothing weird about that.


So back to the story immediately.


My mom assumed it was a typical response as a child to be afraid of what will come out of the closet. And she didn't think much of it. She brushed it off for a while and then simply opened the closet, show him nothing is there, and put him back to bed.


The bad dreams continued and so did the strange mention of the man in the closet.


No, my mom said that she was getting more and more curious, so she started to ask my brother questions about this mysterious man. I went. She went wrong. No, I would do the same thing.


I always need to know more. I mean, like he's not there, so I don't know what to tell you. I really tell me what he looks she'd say.


What does the man in the closet look like? Is he a nice man? And my brother would respond, yes, he has a suit and a funny hat. He comes out of the closet, leans on my wall and smokes. Let me just kind of watches me. Oh, OK. Spook for real.


My mom said she was kind of intrigued, but more caught off guard by my brother's descriptive response.


She assumed in typical childhood nightmare fashion that the man in the closet would have been a figment of his imagination or monster or something he had seen on TV.


Some time went by and as my brother got a little older, the nightmares stopped and the mention of the mysterious man in the closet tapered off as well.


Until dawn.


A year or two later, my mother and my grandmother were looking through old photo albums. Oh, no, this can't go anywhere. Right? Of course. Of or excuse me.


Of which many photos included my great grandparents and many, many other ancestors who all resembled one another because, you know, Italians have fucking huge families.


And in the 40s, 50s, everyone dress similar. My grandmother had lost both of her parents, Hugo and Evelyn. Oh, my God, shut up. They were probably adorable. I thought they were the cutest at a young age.


So my brother and I have never seen them nor met them again. I say my brother and I have never seen nor met them.


No bullshit. My mom said that my brother and I were playing in the kitchen and had come up to the table where they had the photo albums laid out out of the blue.


Without hesitating to look at many other pictures on the page, my brother pointed to the picture of my great grandfather Hugo and said, Hey, that's him, the guy from my closet.


Can you imagine as the mom? Oh, yes. I guess he'd be a little relieved, though, I believe.


Yeah, my mother and grandmother said that they were shocked and covered head to toe and chills as my brother and I ran away from the table and continued playing, completely oblivious to the incredible statement he had just sprung on everyone. My mother said that my great grandfather often wore suits, a fedora and often smoked cigars.


OK, Hugo even had photos of him leaning on walls in front of the house smoking.


I feel like he's a bad bit. She sounds awesome. As we got older, my mom told my brother and I about the incident and of course we had to hold on to our butts.


We were.


Schuckert, I truly believe that my great grandfather was there to watch over my brother when he couldn't sleep. And I literally have mega chills everywhere as I type this. I have them everywhere as I read. I do too. Anyways, thanks so much for taking the time to share my story. I fucking love all the things true crime and supernatural and love your podcast to the max. Thanks.


And keep it weird that you wrote in ash centric speed. Oh, I do. I'm going to try to do it right. But not so rare that you see a man in your closet and you're kind of freaked out, but you're not really and you don't know who he is. But then it turns out that he was a great grandfather who was never knew, you never knew, and he was just there to protect you much love.


Gee, that was good. I was super sweet of you. Hell, yeah. That was awesome.


Gee, that was really awesome. That was a feel good one.


Our next one comes with the photo and if you're not crying already, then you're dumb. If you're not crying, I'm crying.


If you're not crying, I'm right. So this one is the subject line that says that time my mom turned into an owl. Oh. And that caught my attention. But yeah, that'll do it.


So they attached a picture of their mom. And first of all, your mom is so beautiful, so beautiful with the doorbell and her phone case is an owl. I don't know if you noticed that I love. Are you who sent it, noticed it. OK. Hi, ladies, love your podcast. Keep up the awesome work. I've been listening to your podcast for a while now and I have gotten several of my work friends to listen to you and they love it as well.


That's so nice of you. Thanks. You're so sweet.


I love when people gather other weirdos. I do. To thank you for doing these listener tales. By the way, they creep me out and also make me laugh till my sides hurt. Anyways, let me tell you about how my mom turned into an owl. OK, sounds good. I lay it out seated, lay it out for me and then it says, note this is super long. I apologize. Don't never. My name is my name.


I know my good. My name is Junjie baby. Note it's pronounced GenZE. That's adorable name. That is so cute. I love it. And then she said I know it's a super weird nickname but my semi hippy mom calls me this so it just kind of stuck or called me this. This last year was absolute garbage and was the definition of a bummer, but it literally made me believe in life after death. So I guess silver linings, you got to look for them.


You do.


John and I used to love to go out, but now we've got the three little ladies and we're always looking for fun ways to have a fun date night in.


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This last year in November, my absolutely wonderful, amazing mother passed away very suddenly, she died of heart failure. I'm sorry, sorry it was so sudden and I wasn't even able to say goodbye. And I was literally 30 minutes to leave.


That's horrible. That hurts my heart. And then she said, sorry, if they're spelling errors, I'm crying while I write this. Oh, my goodness. I just want to hug you, too. And also, there's no spelling error. So, like, you're also you're killing it.


She was an amazing little mama.


Well, she had the biggest heart. She was a social worker, volunteer for domestic violence shelters and networks to help women in need. Oh, my God. And very faithful Gouldian.


Honestly, like a goddess. I know. Oh, my God.


Wait, no, there's more. I messed up a very faithful Catholic, a Folklorico dancer.


That's probably not how you say that Folklorico.


She loved adopting people like all my friends called her mama. Oh, my God. I'm crying and was in love with Owles. I want to know her. Me too. Oh, she.


When you attach the picture in the beginning, she has one of those faces that you would just like, smile. It's so hard if you passed around the street. She does. She seems like one of those that you would call Mama. Yeah. She always wanted to have an owl and told me she would come back as an owl after she died. Oh, I love that.


I love this. It's like more in. Morgana's grandmother said she'd come back as a mantra.


Oh, my God, yes. In my family we're Mexican, but I don't know if other Mexicans believe in this. People will just come back as beloved animals. Example, my whole life, my grandma, who adores golden eagles, said that one day she's going to visit me as an eagle and to watch the sky for her after she passes away. So when I see an eagle, it's her telling me she's watching over me, OK?


My entire body just went into, like, chill mode, like, wow, you know what?


I would want to be an elephant, though, so I'm halfway there so none of us would see you. You could see me come to the zoo, girl. Oh, you're going to be an elephant. The zoo. That's a that's a poor afterlife.


Yeah. No, I want to be a wild. I take it back. Come on a safari girl. Please don't make me a caged animal. Come on a safari. Anyways, this isn't about me. Thankfully she's not dead, but I'm living in fear for the day she takes off with one of my chickens for a snack. That's incredible.


I have no idea what makes them love these certain animals so much, but my mom collected one hundred of. Yeah. A hundred of little owl figures, earrings, bags and shirts. In fact, we laid her to rest in her favorite owl earrings. This is really hurting me. It really is. But it's beautiful. She watched every documentary of ours out there and just and got just tickled. If you send her pictures and videos of oh God.


She also she also loved those live feeds of baby owls on YouTube. Oh, same. I didn't know that was a thing. And like, oh, it's great to go. It's great. Mind you, in some places in Mexico, owls are seen as omens of death and depicted with with the Aztec God of death.


But my mom always saw them as good luck, Elwell, because she was medallist's flip. I love it.


That's like the the the case that we've covered of like the one where where was it?


Was it in Pennsylvania? The Dutch, they were thinking that. Oh, that, that is. Yeah. My grandfather was the one that put a curse on him because he heard an owl.


Yeah. I remember I brought it out of times and I was like, it's bad luck, but I don't know, I had a brain fart there. Sorry, but I was like that thing. I know what I was like. I was like trying to figure it out. I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to help you. I was like, bad Pictionary. I had a moment. It's OK. We all do. So now a little info on where I live because this is semi important.


I live in backcountry Nevada. There is absolutely nothing around me besides farms and maybe the occasional coyote. But the area around me is sometimes it is sometimes eerily quiet, sometimes. So there is little to no noise pollution out here. My momma passed away in the living room of our house where I currently live that she loved, but she wasn't surrounded by all the people she loved. Oh, man. Oh, I know she would have wanted that, but.


But God needed one more angel right away so she wasn't able to say goodbye and we didn't really get a chance to say goodbye. I'm really sorry that that happened to you. That's really sad. But it gets better. OK, well, exactly a month after my mom died, I just broke down. I sat in my room and I begged her to come back while just crying. I told her that I really needed her, that I'm scared that I, at twenty six years old, have no idea what I'm doing.


And I missed her so much.


Logit I, Kim Kardashian ugly, cried for close to three hours until I passed out swollen and dry.


Oh my God, I love you. I just, I was just going to say I want to give you like the biggest hug.


That night was the first night I dreamt in a month and I couldn't have been happier. I dreamed that I came in to our my mom and my house and she was sitting there on the couch looking just as alive and lovely as always, saying hello to me and my Auntie Gina, who was there for some reason. I saw her and just ran to hug her. And I said, even if this wasn't her, even if this was just a dream, I was so happy to see her.


I told her all this. Things I didn't get to say to her before she left, that I loved her, that she was my hero most of all, that I missed her. I miss dancing with her in the kitchen on Sunday mornings while that just hit me. This just like hit me hard.


I read this. Oh, you're like crying. I'm thinking I'm thinking of mom. I know. Oh, I'm not thinking of mommy. Got me right to write in my heart. Oh, especially the dancing.


The dancing in the kitchen is always dancing in the kitchen. Oh OK. And when ma dances she says bop a loop baby. And I just want you all to know that. So she does. It's the band that just made me sad for real. We both have like tears in her eyes. So you know that I lost my place because tears. Sorry. Sorry I'm. Vamp through the tears. Through the tears. Through the tears. I can't see anything because you're coach.


I was so happy to see her. I loved her. She was my hero most of all that I miss her. I miss dancing with her in the kitchen on Sunday mornings. I missed talking to her for hours, cuddling with her, and that I was so thankful for everything she did. Sorry, I'm crying again. Same everybody is the entire time she just gave me this knowing smile, the one she would get, she'd the one she would get when you could really tell that she just adored you.


Oh my God. And when I said she was gone outside of this dream, she said, I'm gonna in a way that just sounded like she was amused by that. By what I said, please. She's like, oh, my God.


I laid my head on her lap like I would when I was little. And I woke up at three a.m. feeling like I could move on. I felt peace for the first time in a month. I cried and thanked her and I thanked God. And that is when I heard it. At first I thought it was a mountain dove. But then I was like, what the heck is a mountain dove doing outside my window? Cooling for three in the frickin morning.


Then I heard, whoo hoo! I kid you freaking not. It was a freaking owl. I just burst into tears and asked my mom if that was her to please, please do that one more time. All of a sudden the owl wouldn't stop. It was her. I know deep in my heart it was her. She came back when I felt I couldn't go on just to tell me goodbye and give me one last hug. I have fucking chills right now.


I haven't heard that owl before or since that night, but it was enough to convince me that there is something after who knows what it is. But one thing I know is that I'm excited to dance with my owl mom again one day.


Fuck shit. Oh my God, I love you so much. This is like oh and then she lml still crying but I got through it. Good. Dang it. Anyways, that's what happened. I feel absolutely nuts for writing this experience, but flip it. I'm doing this anyways. You are not, you're not in the series. This is poetry. Anyways, I'll leave you all with some of my mom's best wisdom. Take one day at a time and keep your heart open to love stops.


I attached a picture of my little mama with her favorite owl phone case and owl earrings. In case you were confused by this, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Oh, okay. And you know what?


You know, she was terrible. I would just fuck Holly.


I have it's very rare for tears to well up in my eyes.


Elena does not cry.


Don't there's actual tears.


It made me think of my mom. Yeah. No. Oh my God. And I just was like, oh, what do you think I. I would come back as a bunny. Oh yeah, for sure. There's bunnies all over our damn house. My mom loves bunny honey figurines not. Oh yes. She'll just bunnies everywhere. Just fucking bunnies to finally be a bunny. That was so beautiful.


I love that. Oh, I also love you for that. I thought owls were bad luck. And you know what? You just made me feel different. I feel like now I'm going to feel comforted by owl sounds. It's true. I always loved owl sounds. So when I read that case that it was like, oh, it's like an omen. And people were telling me in some cultures it is an omen. Yeah. Even just some families believe it's an omen.


Well, that person said in there. Yeah, I think they said in their culture it is about. Oh yeah. And at least in some families it is to me always like I loved owls. It always just made me feel comforted when I heard an owl.


Yeah. So there you go. Perfect. Oh, all right. So this one is going to pick it back up again. It is.


So this one is named after a man tried to break into my house less than an hour ago and I was a pussy.


Incredible. You really I mean, just from the jump woop, there it is. Hi. Hi. Hey, let me start this off by saying that this story is fresh. It's currently five thirty in the morning and a majority of this happened around 445.


Wow. Also, I love your podcast. Love you guys. I know that's how all these listener tales start. And I don't want you guys to go unnoticed, but my brain is scrambled right now.


OK, well, you'll get it in a minute. So back to it.


This literally just happened. I was sleeping in my bed, two cats cuddled up next to me when suddenly I heard my mudroom door opened. And I think it's weird for one of my friends to be here at four, 45, but they all have a key.


So maybe there's a there's a crisis mode.


They're always in crisis mode. Same.


But as soon as I didn't hear the key code being punched in, I came to terms with the terrifying reality that this was not, in fact, one of my best friends drunk, crying because their boyfriend wouldn't let them hit the jewel.


It's a very relatable experience. Oh, I have a glass door with a wooden outline.


It's tinted, so you can't see that well, and you can't see out either. All I saw was the outline of this man's body as he kept trying to turn my doorknob.


I said, please go away. And it sounded weak. And then I said it was some dominance in my voice.


And he said, Bitch, what if, like, the robber was like, bitch, what? And I said, with true mean my voice, I'm calling the police.


And he mumbled, Bitch, why I stood there, no pants on. And a goddamn tie dyed T-shirt from an eighth grade field trip, silhouette to silhouette with this man holding the doorknob and calling the police. My mind raced with thoughts like this is it, isn't it? I'm being very poorly.


Night stopped and my cats got to protect these bitches. Cats like, oh, well, this is just what I get for being a young woman on my own.


Hey, Weirdo's.


Hey there. We have some pretty fantastic news to share with you. I don't know if you've heard it yet. Have you heard it? What you haven't heard or may have heard?


I don't know because I can't hear you is that we have launched a brand new podcast on top of morbid.


Oh, it's so good. It's like not to toot my own groups. It's real good. I'm not going to lie.


And it's real good because we partnered with Podcast Network and this new podcast is called Crime Countdown by Non-intellectual.


And what we do on this amazing podcast network Crime Countdown show is that every Monday we're going to talk about ten to crime stories, not just one, ten, ten, ten. And they all have wicked good topic. They really do.


And we're going to rank them. We're going to share our most passionate opinions on all of them. We're going to disagree on them. We're going to yell at the park research gods about them. It's great. It's going to be amazing.


But those topics, though, those topics, we are going to talk about the most stunning lottery scams. Some of them literally ended in violence.


Of course, they did more money, more money, more problems, no money, more problems.


Actually, more than one of them ended in violence. Oh, I'm excited. I know.


We're going to talk about the top ten killer Texans. Oh, we love Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas, including murder.


And we're also going to talk about the creepiest cases of cannibalism. We're going to refrain from the details right now. But don't you worry your pretty little mind.


We're going to we're going to jump right into that feast when it happens. Yukky hashtag Hannibal. I hate that. But guys, we have partnered up with the podcast research gods to bring you true crime. Deep cuts, deep cuts. We know that you love a deep cut.


Who doesn't love a deep cut? I love a deep cut.


Every episode has insane stories and details that you have not heard. I promise you, Hammer. Well, some of them I haven't even heard. Me neither. And that's crazy. That's saying so. That's nuts.


So if you're a true crime fan and we know you are because you're listening to us right now. Hello. Hello again.


We know you are. So you're going to love this show. Follow Crime Countdown and join us every Monday as we try to shock, surprise and one up each other. Listen free and follow on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.


I was on the phone with the dispatcher gracefully having one of the biggest meltdowns of my life, and as this man came in and out of the mudroom, I was like, we came in and out of the mudroom. Oh, he was coming in the actual my dreams have been realized that, oh, I was like, the police are on their way.


I go away. And she was like, Ma'am, calm down. You don't want to irritate him. You could get aggressive.


I said, back to her. I listen to true crime. I'm a friend. I'm in forensic psychology.


I'm not going down without a fight. And she was like, ma'am, this is a Wendy's drive thru. Also, the police have Gispert was like, wait, oh, did you go to Wendy's, drive through it? The police got to my house and proceeded to ask me the most dumb ass police questions, but also like police guy. Thank you for saving me. Like, was this man to you? Do you have a description? And I was like, no, I didn't look at him.


And I don't know him because I wasn't about that. Like a precursor to the next part. I live right outside of Cincinnati in a place called Covington, its own little city in its own little regard.


And it's only a five minute drive over the bridge to get into downtown Cincinnati.


They weren't finding the guy, but I was like, yeah, I'm leaving them. If they could just stay with me until I got my car so I could go to a friend's house who lived a couple of blocks away. I was not about to walk those blocks after that.


My guy I love when people say bye bye. As I got to my car, one of the officers knocked on my window and I was like, damn, am I being arrested now or something?


And then he was like, Yeah, we just want you to know that we did find a guy in your alleyway.


He was drunk as hell, stumbling around telling us not to arrest him because he thought he was in Cincinnati and this was his house. But we did arrest him because obviously this is not Cincinnati and this is not so. I mean, I was relieved. Obviously, I was not about that life, but the officer was like, so you don't have to leave if you don't want to. And I was like, oh, yeah, I think the fuck I do.


Anyway, this is my unstained story about how a drunk guy mistook my house for a house. He'd have to cross an entire bridge to get to and maybe think that I was going to be bonded.


Thank you for reading this. I love your podcast so much. Thanks. See? Oh, my God. I was going to get Bundeena a little bit. She made that a bird. God, I love it. Wow. I also love that that literally just happened like fifteen minutes before I got to sit down and tell everybody about, oh, you killed it. Thank you for this. That was a good little like break the sadness. This is another good little break.


This oh man. This one's going to gross you out and that's why I picked it. I'm upset. It's called Listener Tail here.


Hello. Morbidly obese, morbidly obsessed with that. I read to it fellow weirdo here and longtime listener Yul's genuine banter and contagious laughter gets me through my long workdays. And I just want to thank you for providing the smiles.


Wait, I mean storytelling anyway, so I wanted to share a fun, lighthearted little spoof spoof from my childhood.


We love childhood spook's boop boop boop. Remember when I thought that was a typo? You totally didn't love it.


So just two quick bits about one booger eating lady who I called him still. Oh now Stella. Stella, who was a Stella but was actually named Mary the South. Am I right. Still was Stella who was a Stella but actually named Mary.


In case you missed that. That's chaos. That's incredible. That is chaotic and I love it. They wrote still was attitude, but she better have an attitude. She didn't give a damn nor take one. She raised each family generation in her kitchen and could always be found dancing around it.


Oh my God. Kitchen Dance is a theme this week while making her favorite snack, Rice Krispie treats.


Oh, we love it. Oh, so yeah. Put a pin in here. This comes full circle. When she became less active, she could be seen flicking her book across the room at you or getting her kid in your little group. Grubby fingers up there and finding her second favorite snack. Also, Ghadames, you also yell Boogers are my trigger warning. Give me Ghar all day. But if I see this. Oh no. Yeah, that's that's what they wrote.


I didn't write that. OK, moving on. Is this I'm with you on that. That's my trigger warning. Yeah. As this thing has gone on long enough. Well still isn't with us anymore and hasn't been for a while and that's OK because I was young and yo like that's the way it is. But the world a better place without her. I know. So fast forward to thirteen years old. Life is good. I have my own room.


Spice Girls are dominating the airwaves and I have finally kissed my crush. Hell yeah. I just felt that in my bones I felt that summer that was way too young for me to kiss my first crush because late bloomer. Oh you're cute.


I was just a little ho at summer camp so I was like, well, my best friend was actually basically our weekend orphan and was with me all the time as this was in this time was no different. Another weekend of staying up too late, watching whatever horror flick we could sneak past our parents. My friend was also notorious for never sleeping at my house. She could stay up for hours of the night while. To the morning, well, upon awakening from my full 12 hour childlike slumber, I see my friends.


I know, I see my friend bright eyed and bushy tailed, but with the slight look of fear, she asks me who is baking in the kitchen.


Last night, I wanted I wanted to ask her if she was new here. My house was was ran like a tight ship and she and she knew no one in their right mind would even try to make noise that late at night because parents are dicks. Yikes. I finally responded with horror in my voice. No one. Why? She explained she heard someone in the kitchen last night making something that smelled like Rice Krispie treats. We asked my mom about it in the morning and she just very casually mentioned that those were Grandma Estella's favorites and then trailed off in a cloud of cigar smoke without further explanation.


OK, Mom, she's another story. I want to hear more about her.


Would you achieve the goal? I want just told me to breathe. It's like chill out, girl. I like what it tells me to stand one more in the middle of this and I kind of can't do it, y'all. I would have brushed this off except for maybe a month later to this happening. I was in my room getting ready for bed and had strange shit started happening. I was chillin and listening to music when I got the feeling.


Oh yeah, you know, when you know you know, that's where I'm at. I look behind me. I look around by the little shelf next to the door and I shit you.


Not everything came flying off that shelf.


Oh, now at this point in my life, I fancied myself quite the special bitch of a witch like many of that age. And I knew it was Stella. I said aloud that I knew she was there and not to scare me. I wasn't scared, but I knew she was a prankster. So I was ready for everything, even a ghostly booger war. After I put everything back on the shelf, I decided it was probably bedtime. I tried turning down the music and that's when the prank started.


This Bulgar having Astrud kept plastic my music every time I tried turning it down a good for so in terms of her as a good for so attempts her of asking her Yeah thank you. I'm fine of asking you to stop before she took the hit and quit and realize that 9pm wasn't dancing hour in this house unfortunately. So anyway, that's my story about grandma. Still hope she's right and boogie's on God's trifling ass. Keep it weird. Thanks for doing what you do.


I hope you enjoyed my story and thank you for sharing. OK, thank you for sharing of Stella made the cut. Oh if if you know whatever I can't wait for the next episode. Thanks again Elim. Oh Lee Rhiannon. Bugger's God's triflin. I cannot thank you enough. I'm not ok. I cannot thank you enough for that.




Here's the thing about home security companies.


What's the thing most Tropp you with high prices, trickey contracts and lousy customer support. Tricky, tricky. Lousy. Hi.


So while there are a lot of options out there, there's only one no brainer simply safe.


We love simply say, oh my God, our apartment already had a security system and like it was all set up and like I didn't have to do anything with it. And I was like, I don't want it. I won't simply say. So I went out and I got me a simply safe because I was like, I know that you have a simply safe. And I always feel super safe when I stay here. That's right.


Because you can hear the little dictator opens and now I have my own daughter. Love that. Do it.


Also, if I can set it up, literally any single one of you can set it up.


That's a very true statement. You will all be OK. It took me like twenty five minutes if anything was going to convince you of it that should you go buy it right now.


Like if has to work late and I'm sitting on the couch watching like the gnarliest true crime dog. I feel safe because of simplicity, because I'm simply safe, simply God. It has got an arsenal of sensors and cameras to blanket every room, window, every door tailored specifically for your home just for you.


They have everything you need to protect your home with none of the drawbacks of traditional home security. And like I said, you can set it up yourself. Wow. I thought I was waiting for you to say something. Professional monitoring keeps watch day and night ready to send the police, the fire or medical professionals.


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I agree. And you know what Elayna named it that too. I was going to say trust Allena.


Well, try simply save today. It simply save dot com, slash morbid. You get a free shipping and a 60 day. Risk free trial, you got nothing to lose. Risk free, that's simply safe dotcom slash morbid to be safe. Oh.


Whoo! All right, that was great. Those two just cleanse my soul, I need eyes so bad.


Well, this next one is called Top Hat Douchebag. Oh, shit, I'm into it. I feel like that's not going to cleanse my soul. I feel like it's going to be awesome. Dear Ashton. Allena, what up bad bitches. One up but up.


Here's my listener tale of the top hat douche bag that loves to roam my house.


Once my parents divorced when I was in fourth or fifth grade and ended up back together before my eighth grade year and that fall we moved into our current house.


It's a nice two storey three bedroom, four bedroom, three bath house with plenty of room for my parents, brother, me and our small zoo.


When we first moved in, something felt off.


But, you know, whatever I was 14 months passed and it was our first summer in our house. It was three a.m. and of course I'm awake and craving a popsicle. Obviously, I went downstairs and as I passed the downstairs bedroom bath, I heard my name clears day. I was like, OK, cool. And kept doing my thing.


I would be like, I'm leaving now. She's like, all right. I got my popsicle and was halfway up the stairs when I felt a huge presence behind me.


I ran upstairs and hid under my blankets when suddenly my TV went full on static mode.


Throw it out the window. Yeah, this is an OK, that's when you get rid of it. I stayed up until 4:00 a.m. when it shut off and I did not sleep. Things only got worse. I would be downstairs alone and hear my name from the next room. If I ignored it, the voice would get louder and angrier.


No, no, no, no. I don't like that. Oh no, I really don't like that. So let's see where I am. I just lost my opinion.


And then eventually this douche made his first appearance. I was laying down watching TV when I saw my head peek around the wall in my room.


How do you peek around a wall?


This head was at least six feet off the floor and there was a top hat.


No, no body. No.


Oh, eventually I saw the man standing in my window looking out. He never turned around, just staring out the window. I'm like, What are you contemplating? I turned and nope.


The fuck out. One night I slept in my mom's room with her and he fucking walked through the doorway and disappeared before my eyes.


No, I don't like and this doesn't even sound like sleep paralysis because she's not sleeping. You know what it reminds me of. And it follows when that tall guy walks through the doorway, oh my God, fuck me.


When we watched that and that happened, I had such a visceral reaction to that. Like, you don't like big things, big things, which is hilarious cause John is like six three. I marry John Tall thing and I and I love that tall thing. And I think the same guy that walks through the door, remember when he's standing on the roof. Yeah. That's like such a good guy you haven't seen it follows that. I'll fuck you.


Right. Cinematical This just made me think of it though. Like he walked through the door. Yeah.


Seeing a ghost just walk away, huh. It's been seven years and I still see this man around my house and hear him, but I'm less scared since he isn't physical, just annoying and douchy.


I'm 22 now and I still warn him that I'm not afraid. Don't do that. That's my listener.


Tell the annoying top hat douche that lives in my house. Keep it weird, Kinzie. P.S. I've been here for months and you're my number one podcast and upheld my terrible car. Anxiety from another story I will totally submit. Thank you for being the absolute best bitches I've listened to. Keep it weird. Much love. Kinzie is such a cute name.


Much love right back at you Kinzie because I'm really scared for you this topic. Kinzie don't tell him that you're not afraid of him because then he's going to be like, Oh yeah, bitch, I'm going to give you a reason to be. He's going to be like, let me try some more. Just be like, listen, you're scaring me and I live here now. Maybe you did before, but but this is my home. We just coexist without running into each other.




Like either say we'll coexist, but please stop scaring me because you're stressing me out or be like, this is my house now and you need to leave.


Don't do the latter. No, do that. That's how you're supposed to take charge with the ghosts, are you? It's not their house anymore. I don't take charge with anybody.


You really don't. But I do. Oh, I know the ghosts in my house, though. I'm like, you're fine. You can hang as long as you don't cross a line, as long as you're not cutting up my children's sheets.


Like when that happened, I went out in the hallway and I was like, listen, you're scaring them. And if you keep doing it, I'm going to send you packing and then I'm over there and you and it never happened again. They've never had that nightmare again.


That's why I was home alone last night. We're just going to drift off into a till I was home alone last night for like the first time ever. Annie never sleeps away from home, but she was, like, sleeping on her parents and fucking now that I have an animal, because before I could just ignore the noises and think that it was just me. But now when you have an animal now when you have an animal franklyn's like laying on my chest, like being all cute and shit and I hear this noise and I'm like, that's just nope.


Not Franklyn's like, no, I hear it. He not only like like lurked his head over there. He got up and ran outside, like out into the other room. And I was like, well, fuck me. Yeah, you can't ignore it with animals. But it was fine. And also my apartment building was built in like 2016. So I think it's fine. So unless it's. Like that, even that's like why I don't go show up and be like, it's Britney bitch.


I always like a victory. It might be the spirit of Britney, but that's another story.


Last listener tale is called The Crouching Man Hated Already Crouching Tiger. That's like a yoga pose, isn't it? Probably. I've never done it. Hey, guys, I'm an avid listener to your podcast for my job.


A survey alone in the in the Defence Force tense the defense for the second time. I was like, no.


Well, I think my brain just fills it. Does it? Why? It's certainly in the Defence Force. The Defence Force. No, I know. I just want to say that I thought it was funny in the dense forests, a Pacific Northwest. And I used to listen to your podcast every day at work. That's until you did some episodes about Creevey Pacific Northwest shit. And I got too spooked. So now I have had to restrict myself to afterwork listening.


Oh, no. Keep doing what you're doing. Sorry. So it's OK. Crouching then. But anyhow, I have a story for your listener tales. So when I was in college, I lived in this three story house that was built in 1932, making the house 116 years old at the time.


My older full-price. Yeah, just straight up, you know, humble. There were only four bedrooms, but we had six girls living there because life is expensive is it had visibly underwent multiple editions to create this modern packaged house. We had only one bathroom. Oh, my God. First six girls. How did you survive that? And it was on the top floor, off the master bedroom. Then off that bathroom was a porch that you could only access from said third floor bathroom.


There was a porch off of the bathroom. The fuck.


You know, if there were any budding architects out there, I would highly recommend that floorplan never be repeated of the rimless girls.


One lived in the sunroom. That would that would be my room. I would pick the sunroom. I would not. And one lived in the unfinished basement. That's what you would fucking probably the basement was mostly cement with an exposed pipe ceiling. No, thanks. There were even there was even a small room in the corner of the basement solely designed for game meat processing. Amazing. Because Midwest, which is like creepy, we hung it. Tupac and Biggie poster out of wall in that room and tried to call it good.


Sounds good to me. One night I come home around two a.m. from the library.


I have been cramming for an exam and was in that caffeine induced exam anxiety state that formal education so graciously provides.


I know it well. That's why I dropped out of college.


I eventually got to sleep in my room, a room that also had a direct wooden staircase to the empty attic. No, thank you.


Which was like totally never, ever creepy or weird to explain to guests.


Know my voice just gave out that I did it. It was just like I was like, don't talk.


Sometime in the night I go to roll over and what do I see? But a man sitting in the fetal position next to me. Oh, watch.


In case nobody else has experienced this, I would describe it as quite alarming. Yeah, it's a great way to describe it. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and was sitting on the pillow next to me. He was on your fucking pillow? No, that's rude.


He was thin and had on long pants, a long shirt with a hat. I'm not talking like Nike sweatpants and a beanie, though. No, that's not what I was picturing. I'm talking like some classy ass wool trousers and some sort of newsboy hat. That's what I pictured. What does that sound like?


That sounds like a newsboy hat.


Remember what that's like exactly.


The ghost that I saw your room. I was like, I don't know what that sounds like, girl. Yes, you're right. That does. But he was a little boy. I quickly roll for a split second until my instincts set in and I sat up aggressively in an attempt to somehow defend myself against this man. But once I did, he was gone and I was just left sitting there staring at my wall.


Huh. OK, I told myself it was the sleep deprivation and I must have just hallucinate. It could happen, although I thought I never hallucinated before. I figure human minds are full of wonder. So that's what I chalked it up to, the wonder of human mind. That's I would track it, although I thought I had never hallucinated before.


I love it. You're not sure about it. But perhaps I can't. I don't think I did. I didn't tell anybody because it didn't seem worth sharing. Oh, I don't know. That seems pretty worth sharing.


This is terrible moment. But I definitely wrote about it in my journal. Fast forward, around two weeks from that night, I was hanging in the kitchen with my roommate who lived in the basement. She actually picked up the nickname Basement Dweller. That's awesome. Which is a weird nickname. Looking back, I feel like that's what people would call somebody that lived in the past.


Yeah, she was just in an annoying mood, being all snappy with the world. I asked her what was up with her mood. She said she hadn't slept well last night and kind of apologized. I asked her why she hadn't slept well. Her tone changed a little bit and she explained she was kind of spooked in the basement. She said she felt like somebody was watching her sleep.


My interest became a little more personal when she said that I tried a little more.


And she ends up admitting she thought she saw a man she saw so mad.


I don't know what happened. I love when you go into those fancy inflexions. I think there's just like multiple like I think I have multiple, multiple personality.


I think there's like an orphan to like Victorian boy just got inside of your soul somewhere every once in a while just comes up. But also like an old southern woman. Yeah. There's many of my good many spirits inside. A man was the man I lost my place. I make her show me where this supposed man was in her room. Yes, I was in her room, she clarifies. She clarifies that she doesn't actually think he was real.


She figured she had just somehow gotten really spooked out and imagined a man crouching in her closet area. That would be a very vivid imagination.


I was going to say people are really given, like, benefit of the doubt.


Yeah, I'd be like, well, we're moving and also burning the house down because if I saw a crouching man, I would never do anything but be like that was approaching men and something needs to be done.


Yeah. Once she sat up in her bed with her phone like he was suddenly nowhere to be seen, we go down into the basement and sit on her bed. From there, she points to where she saw the figure crouching. She has all her shirts hung on hangers from pipes in the ceiling and then her shoes flat on the floor below. The space between the shirts and the shoes was nowhere for a grown man in the in-between space without it being very obvious.


She said he was in the fetal position as well, but propped up on his feet. If anybody knows the lightening position, that's the idea.


Yeah, that's really great. It I hate that so much.


I end up telling her my story because how could you not see the obvious coincidence of it all? Connection. Connection. No coincidence. No, I was just saying there's a connection. Oh, I thought you said I read that wrong and I was like, no, it's coincidence or connection. I'm like, I read that right. When you stopped, I was like, what was I say? What I said was like there was a connection. The basement dweller was decidedly way more spooked than I was.


I honestly thought she was kind of overreacting. We both shared sentiments that we both knew this was not a real life man. If it if it was only if it was even anything at all. We ended up telling our roommates that night who ended up being pretty curious and we collectively started referring to the man as the crouching man, obviously. Duh. We all slept a little less soundly for a few weeks, but it became one of those things you just kind of pushed to the side because thinking too much about it can lead your mind to stray a little too far.


We end up subleasing the house to some freshman girls for the summer. The girls who we didn't know other than a quick interview and tour when they decided they wanted to live in our weird bargepole house for a few months as the freshmen girls were moving out in the fall.


My roommate was moving back and had a funny conversation. Topic got brought up. Apparently, the freshman who was subletting my room had her older sister visiting from out of town. Her and her sister were sharing the bed one night. They had the door to the attic and the door to the hallway closed. Her sister woke up screaming bloody murder for someone to turn the light on. My subletter jumped up to get out of bed and flip the light. Her sister was being hysterical, but eventually the explanation came out that she woke up to a man crouching in the corner of her room, staring at her once.


Oh, fuck that. Once the light was on, the man in the corner disappeared.


These girls had never known our previous stories, which makes the fact that three different women all experienced a very similar occurrence without knowing of each other's stories.


Kind of terrifying. Kinda kinda. Yeah. Even though I was the one who originally saw the crouching man, I still thought it to be some like, weird dreaming stuff between the basement dweller and I. But after I heard that a random girl who I don't know saw a similar thing in my room, I am now more open to possibilities. The most obvious answer would be that there was some literal creep that would break into our house and watch women sleep.


I don't know if that's so obvious. Yeah, I don't think I wouldn't go with that first. Right. But though my experience through my experience and the others, it was so inherently not in a live human with super heightened skills.


Exactly. Because he disappears from the lake. Right. I would like to say that I have a I would like to say I have a silver slipper.


Oh, my God, I'm done. I have a sliver of spirituality. But honestly, that even that is a stretch. Most people who have had this story take it as a ghost story, which it might be. But I'm also familiar with the power of human of the human mind and experience. So it also might not be I do know that one's trying to slow down what I don't. Are you OK?


I do know that once two male roommates moved in there, there was no more crouching man sightings. So, yeah, overall, that house was bubbling with happy memories and lots of great concerts. The Crouching Man ended up being referred to as other as another roommate of sorts in conversation. I think we did that to make light of the situation and ease our worries. I did move to the room. What I did moved.


I'm like, wow, I did move to the room across the hall, though. I hope you guys are doing well with the new baby arriving to your family. Oh, that was fun. We must have been a long time ago. A long time ago.


Wow. That was a story. And I think it was a ghost.


It was a ghost. There's no way. No there's no other explanation. No. And he was in a crouching position.


You're like, what the hell did he die from? Like that sounds like he was scared or like, yeah, that was going on.


It's like, what's your story, bro? What's your story? I would want to ask him. I'd be like, what's just why are you crouched like that?


That's what you would think of like 2:00 in the morning when you wake up and he's like, Oh, me, what's your story? I feel like he had like black eyes.


I just see him as like a very gaunt dude, like very like dark circles under his eyes. Yes. Like I picture I'm like super thin. Yeah. I don't love it. So that is our Listener Tails episode, which is good because Ash is officially like malfunctioning.


I don't it is I read like super, super fast and it's like you can't understand me. So then I slow myself down and then me slowing myself down messes me up.


Yeah. So you just got to find a happy medium. I can I just talk fast and you guys slow it down on your phone. There you go. I can just slow people who is like ash. You talk so fast. You're like I know, I know it's a disorder. I have a lot to say and little time to say it. I also drink a lot of coffee. It's very true. Well, we hope you guys dug your listener tales.


We loved them.


They were. So they made me laugh. They made me cry. Yeah, they they definitely made us cry. Yeah, they were everything.


So we appreciate it. We do appreciate it. And you'll be getting another episode this weekend on Saturday. So look forward to that. That's going to be so exciting.


I hope you listen to our Crime Countdown episode this week and another one on Monday. And yeah, I think that's all we have to say.


So yeah, we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it. We. But not so weird that your brother sees this top hat guy in his closet and then turns out, you know, that topic is Hugo, we're not sorry that your mom turns into an all, but you should keep it that way, because that was the most beautiful story I ever read before.


And not so weird that still it was a book about you because who wants a book thrown at them not to read that some guy breaks in your house is like, bitch, this is my house.


And I found him in an alley because you don't want to find that guy in an alley. You just don't want to find that guy at all. No, thanks.


I also read that there's a topic I grew up in on your house and you're not scared of him. And you tell him that you're not scared of him. I mean, Kinzie, come on, don't tell me you're not scared of them because then he's going to do some shit. Not so weird that some guy is crouching in your corner and you're not sure if you hallucinated ever.


But don't do that. He was a ghost. He was, you know, not.