He weirdoes, I'm Ash and Emelina, and this is a listener tale's morbid, it's a listener.

Brought to you by you, for you, from you and all about you. Sure is. It's going to be a good one.

I picked these while in the bathtub last night and I had tears coming out of my eyes. So if you don't think they're funny, you're just wrong. I love that and I haven't read them yet.

So this is going to be me reacting in real time live. So if I trip over words, I'm sorry I didn't read it yet. It's OK. I forgive you.

So I think the only thing we wanted to mention was, oh, just this little thing.

Well thing called morbid network, they being morbid at work. And we just wanted to quickly just kind of think, first of all, if you don't have social media, you didn't see it.

Yesterday we announced that we are starting or have started our own podcast network under the Audioboo umbrella. And it's called Morbid Network.

Yeah. Right now we have five shows under our network.

We have cult leader, which I know like a lot of people lost their mind because who doesn't love Spencer? Everybody loves a good sense. Everybody loves the Spencer Henry vote for him in the VMAs next year.

We have strange and unusual podcast, which Alison is literally she's right up there with like Aaron Manque is like one of the greatest storytellers on a podcast.

Her voice is amazing. It's so relaxing. And you're going to learn so much as she she's spooky history.

It's great. Then we have that spooky. We have Johnny and Tyler there and they are amazing. They're going to be your new best friends talking drag race, all things paranormal. They're going to talk shit about serial killers.

It's incredible. They're amazing. And they're from Canada. So, hello, who doesn't love Canada?

Hi there.

We also have Seven Deadly Sinners, which is a new podcast that I think you're all going to die for.

So, God, it's talking about crazy preachers and crazy cults. It's awesome.

And it's hosted by Rachael O'Brien, who we had who referred to Furfur, who is who we have had OK on our show.

And we love Rachel. And she's also a stand up comedian. Like professionally. She is so fucking funny. One of the most hilarious people I know.

Check out our our social media sites so you can see all the videos that everybody wrote about them, because the last one that we have on our network right now and by the way, these aren't the only podcasts we're ever going to have on the network.

We're going to expand. It's going to be a morbid take over. This is just our little. Here you go. This is the first little smattering of the fam. Right.

But the last network that we have in there is a new podcast that has not been released yet. It will be released October 1st.

And it is me, Alina. Who are you? I'm Elayna. Yeah.

And our very good friend and friend of the pod, Caleb from Horror Soup. Well, well. And together we are doing a podcast called Scream with an exclamation point. It's green and it's basically us every week choosing a different horror movie.

I choose one, he chooses one. And then we argue about it and talk about it. And it's fun. It's all horror movies. So if you're into horror movies, that's where to go to hear me talk shit about serial killers with reckless abandon.

Um, yeah. So that's going to be coming out October 1st.

We're really excited about this network because we get to introduce all these people to, you know, the morbid audience, because these are all pods that we've loved for a really long time.

Exactly. We have a feeling that most of you are going to love them, too. And absolutely. You feel that they should get the love they deserve. Exactly. And again, we chose them based on one. We love them. We've listened to them believe in their God given them. And also we want to go to dinner with all of them.

So it's important. Yeah. And like. Yeah, and like, yeah, yeah, so yeah, so that was exciting and we just wanted to, you know, say yay for all those podcasts. Yeah. And we can't wait to keep doing stuff in them and keep adding and all that fun stuff.

And did you explain like what the network is, if anybody can feel. Oh yeah. Because I know some people are confused and you know, I didn't know what a new podcast network was before I was a podcast or so.

Kind of like a newer thing. Yeah. So we like we are under Audioboom as our podcast network.

They are the people that, you know, like just kind of grow you and you grow with you. And it's kind of like how NBC is a network and they have shows under their network. You know, that's kind of what it is. So nothing's going to change with morbid. It's just us introducing more shows into your lives just now related to these shows. Yeah, just growing our brand a little bit, that's all. So nothing will change with more of it.

Just in case anyone was wondering. It's all going to be the same.

So sitings your meat exactly where welco you be and nothing will change with crime countdown either.

No, that's precast. That's a separate that's a separate endeavor. Yeah, literally.

I know it's confusing, but we love it and it's all going to be awesome. So I think that's really all we have. Yeah, we are super excited about that because the last week or two have been, have been. I'm all right. I promise. You know, it's it's a day. Yeah.

Because the last couple weeks with my friend Ian Henley and Brady, yada yada, I well I don't know.

Are you OK? Do you want me to say no. I can say it. I just like wow. Yeah. I think my coffee hasn't hit yet. Apparently it's the morning ish.

A little bit.

Well because the last couple of weeks have been so devastating to your date with Myra Hindley and Ian Brady. Yes. OK, who did it? We decided that we would kind of lighten things up for you a little bit. Yeah, some. Listen, it helps. Yeah. I think we could all use it.

I know I could use it personally because I have been like just meshed into everything. Ian Brady. Erm I really I need to get out of that headspace so I'm ready for you guys to take me on your weird. How's your sister. Do whatever you're doing. I need a weird ass journey because we, I think we talked about the picture about you accidentally saw. Yeah. And then I accidentally saw it so that was fun. That was rough.

And then I woke up at one o'clock in the morning the other night and it was the first image in my brain. And so I was like, oh, I'll go on Instagram to relax. And then the first thing that popped up was old us, Ian Brady in my mean.

So you know what I did.

Oh, you know what I did. I have to tell everybody, if you don't follow me on Twitter, I woke up at one o'clock with that horrible thought and then that happened and I went into my kitchen and I got some Chips Ahoy cookies and I put them in marshmallow fluff and ate them. And then I watched The Simple Life and then I ate some ice cream. What a power move until four o'clock in the morning. You just you're taking it all back for me and Brady.

Just we had Brady. That's how I punched a Meyer Henley supporter in the face.

Yeah, that's our new our new US with marshmallow fluff movement is punch of Myra Hindley supported in the face today.

OK, so do that. So listen to tales. My first one is called Listener Stories. Hiking is for dead people. Sure is. Hopefully I can get through this because you know how when it's listener tales, I just forget how to be literate.

You know, it's hard.

It starts off by saying, Hey, Ashin Ilina, I just started listening to you guys about a month ago and I'm already like 100 episodes in.

Wow, that's impressive. I love you. This is my first true crime podcast and I am so glad, glad, proud to now call myself a weirdo. I'm unsure how to preface this story, so I'm going to jump right in.

I'm originally from Iowa and I have never traveled much outside of the Midwest until very recently. The only time I traveled was with my family to be to go be crew for my dad at races.

He's a runner.

Last run, last runner, last runner. Last summer I went to California to do research near L.A. and it was the furthest I've ever been for my family.

I was so excited to be away from home and in California, of all places, and I wanted to try all of the things anyway. Where I was staying was really close to this beautiful mountain, and about a week or two into coming to California, I decided I want to go hiking L'Oréal first mistake. Hello.

And they wrote that note. I asked if anyone wanted to go with me, but I think all the students I was there with or sleeping in me, so I decided to go alone.

No choice, girl. Don't do it. I decided. I'm just reading that again. I was planning on taking the ski lift up the mountain, going ziplining, great choice. And then going back home. I ibut there took a ski lift up one ziplining which took like thirty seconds and felt like I might as well make a day of it and hike up mountain.

No, don't make a day but no, if you make a day of it you might make a life of it or a night of it.

That's the new motto. If you're trying to just make a day of it, you might make a life of it. So think about it. And I feel like it will be a short life.

Yes. Who? This was June in California, I had one bottle of water, one granola bar and zero sunscreen supersmart. I know I'd be dead just because of lack of sunscreen, honestly, and I would be dead because I eat every two hours and I get that from my grandpa.

It was maybe a five mile hike up to the top. It was beautiful. I took lots of pictures and then I started hiking back down. I then ski lifted back down to the bottom and bought a sweatshirt because I was so sunburnt that I was getting cold. Oh, no. And my eyes were sunburned.

So I use the hood for shade grown to do this. I'm upset about that.

I know this is the hard part of the story for me. My eyes were sunburned like I've never had that happen.

It was about six p.m. My phone had like seven percent left. I had zero service. It was at this time I realized how royally fucked I was. It took you a little while. I'm not going to lie. But you know what? You came to the you got there. I'm proud of you. I had already walked like 11 or 12 miles.

I don't even think I walked that in my lifetime. That sentence didn't even register to me. It was like, what now? Fuck that.

And was now going to need to find my way back to the school or at least the bottom of the mountain to get. No, I was so mad at myself, but I turned my phone off to try to save the battery and started walking down the hill. After a couple of miles, somebody pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride.

You never want a ride, you don't want badly as you want to ride, you don't want to ride, you don't.

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He was an old man who had a Chihuahua in the back, and I was getting really bad vibes from him. I don't know if I was delirious, gullible, or if I was lulled into security by the dog. That's why they do that. But I got in.

Oh, no, no, no. Things were normal at first.

He was asking where I was from and what kind of research I was doing. But then things took a dark turn. He started asking whether I was a good Christian girl.

No, I would literally tuck and roll out of that car immediately, like I'm real bad imaginably. Watch this. Watch me do a stunt.

No, he asked if I if I read the Bible every day. No know. In other weird stuff I've tried to block it out.

Even started telling me about how much he hated his wife. Well. Well, his ex-wife for keeping him from his daughter. He started talking about how he hated all women and thought of them as slaves.

Oh, no. What I'm so glad that you're writing this right now, because if I didn't know any better, I'd be like, you died and then you died. Yeah, I also I'd be like, hi, I'm. I'm a woman. I'm the woman. Why are you helping me? Because you're going to kill me.

Yes, of course. I'm freaking the fuck out.

I try to get him talking about his daughter, which seemed to calm him down a little bit. I notice we're not going the right course.

You're not you're never going the right. You should just know now. You're never going you had to know that you were going to go in the opposite direction. So far, so far in the opposite direction. It is so mad. She just threw her fucking charger again.

Sorry, I have very loose outlets in my house because again, it's a thousand years old, legitimately even headed the wrong way.

Look to be headed in the opposite way from school. The from the school I was staying at, I had turned my phone back on and finally had service.

When the dude noticed I had my phone out, he started going crazy and talking about how I just needed to turn the phone off and stop recording him.

And he looked super crazy. My heart was pumping so fast and I felt like this was going to be it.

And I told him to let me out, that I could walk from here. Luckily he stopped and let me out of the car. I genuinely don't know how I got out of this alive. Me either. Wow. Like, I'm shocked that he just let her out with, like, no ifs, ands or buts. That stresses me out even more.

Yeah, honestly, because it's like why didn't follow you and why I don't know. He was so hateful and seemed so unhinged and reminded me of the way see so many serial killers feel towards their mothers are just women in general. Yes, absolutely. Honestly.

So with the two percent left on my phone, I had lost signal again and started walking down the mountain again. I found a fire department and called an Uber who took me back to the college I was staying at. I keep getting the urge to go look through the arrest in L.A. County, but I know I would be fucked up if I found out he had actually kidnapped or murdered somebody. So I stopped myself.

Oh, no. Go back and look for that. You're fine. I know. I would love to know you're good. I'll look for you. I need to know. Anyways, that was the beginning of my summer. It didn't stop me from continuing to do all the things, but I took people with me for the rest of my trips.

Smart, good, smart girl. Good, good. I have now learned that I would not have survived the seventies either.

No, you wouldn't have. You would have been right on that bus with you would it. I think you honestly would have died before me. And that's a big insult. And I'd be waving up. I love you, girl. But that's an insult because I am way too trusting and might have gotten into the car with Ed Kemper.

I was thinking that the entire time that you would have definitely taken a ride from Ed. See, I wouldn't have I feel like I would have gotten bad vibes from it.

Oh, no, I think no, I think he's very trusting and he has a very soothing voice and he has glasses. And I think he could make anybody feel very like chill. I'm going to say something moderately problematic. I feel like I just would have gotten on the bus with Charlie Manson because he was pretty good looking back in the day.

I mean, it is what it is. Yeah.

You know, it's this is why hiking is for dead people and why I should have started listening to you guys a year ago. I love your show and thanks for listening to my story, Kayla. P.S., if you are curious, I do research and math. I was curious, Kayla, at the end of this, I was going to be like, by the way, what kind of research? Because you know what?

That's awesome and good for you women in math. That needs to be more of a thing. So, Kayla, I'm glad we didn't lose. Yeah, me too. Real glad about that. Don't ever do that again. No, I'm so glad that you're listening to us now and we can yell and scream at you about all the things you did wrong. We love you. We love you so much.

And that's why we're so happy that you lived your life. We want you to continue to live so. Wow, that don't ever have that happen again because I'm genuinely, like, really stressed out for you. Yeah, that was a stressful one. Oh, well, thanks, Kayla. My next one is called UIF. I'm uncomfy A.F.. Ah no, not if I just made that up. I like that you made loof.

I'm uncomfy a listener story regarding a minor minor bayone in a major UFO.

I already love this. We're. Hello, you beautiful babes, ghoulish goddesses, sinister sisters, oh, you win, I think that's we need a shirt that says that it's a measle of that we really do.

But one proclamation of love.

I just want to start by saying thank you. I've only recently discovered morbid. However, in the last couple of weeks I've successfully binged the first 100 episodes. I recently started a tiny business, literally just me learn. So I work all alone all day, every day. Y'all are the best coworkers I've ever had and keep me company while I paint old creepy houses. That's amazing. Ideal, iconic.

I cannot tell you how many times I've almost fallen off a roof ladder either laughing with you all or jumping because I've psyched myself out so bad. So thank you for keeping my adrenaline pumping. I just bought a few shirts and can't wait to rock them the species.

And I also feel as though I have to congratulate Allena on Baby Morbid because that's where I met in the podcast, even though she's probably forty three.

She is honestly I don't even know what year it is anymore. Thank you so much. Yeah that was so sweet. Eleven months. So I'll still take the congratulations. I'm sure she's essentially a year she's going to be one like next weekend.

I know that's blowing my mind. I can't even say it.

So No. Two, I'm sorry. Let me preface this with the fact that I'm actually so pissed off.

I would love to be emailing you all saying I've seen a ghost or communicated with those beyond the grave.

However, my experience with a with a UFO, a goddamn UFO, those of which get such bad reputations and their spectators are usually quirky, quickly written off as cuckoo nuts. The only reason I didn't literally commit myself after my encounter was because I was with other people who saw it with me to a I'm realizing now that this is going to be lengthy, feel free to trim whatever the fuck you want.

I can't help that I'm a goddamn ADHD hot mess. My brain is a wild place to be. I felt that line within my bloodstream to be.

I love this so much. I love how it's organized, is organized beautifully. I appreciate it. 2B I'm getting ahead of myself, so let me get down, flip it and reverse it. All right. I love you. Now we're we're to the order from another firm.

Yeah. And then number three, get on with it bitch. Either you got us. I love you Heather. My name is Heather and I grew up in a tiny northern town in the sticks called Wes Moore.

Westmoreland. Sorry, I thought I thought it said Ireland at the last that it was like that's a northern town in the sticks called Ireland with more Ireland. That was like, wow, that's a place. Westmoreland, I know, sounds very not real. The population at the time of this story was somewhere around 1800. For perspective sake, I could fit the entire town into my high school. Wow. It was the summer of 2011.

I was a junior in high school and had just gotten my driver's license, the bus I spent that summer carting my friends around because a lot of them didn't drive.

So I didn't have a car yet, although there's always that one friend, it was always me.

I didn't get my license until after his notes. There's always the one friend that has the license say, oh yeah, yeah, and is the one that has to drive everybody for the purpose of this story.

Let's call my best friend Kay and her little sister been. That's legitimately what we called her. I love that.

Kay Bean and myself lived a quarter mile down the road from each other and practically grew up together.

So I know for a fact that they're very they are very sane and credible, both of whom were actually valedictorian of their classes at one point, making me the dumb one.

Know thyself.

I love you, Heather. There's my favorite thing ever.

So one hot night of said summer of 2011, I drove up to their house and car and being hopped in the back of my Jeep Cherokee, we were off to do one of the only things three underaged broke, broke rapscallions could do during the summer in a small town in the sticks break into the private beach of the rich person lake in the next town over.

Yeah, we did. I love it. We did just that as we had many times before. It was all business as usual.

And after our swim we watched the stars a bit before we headed back through the winding roads of Westmorland, just as we were about to cross through the center of town, a small church and a smelly, creeky town hall and a beat asked general store to be asked General Store.

Oh, I love it. It's incredible bumping something along the lines of untouched by the Veronicas to remember.

I do feel so untouched. There you go there.

In case you didn't remember. In case you don't remember, I got a weird feeling in my gut and abruptly turn the volume down but not off key being. And I were simultaneously looked out the window and saw two men standing outside there, haphazardly parked car, still a stone looking at the sky. I was doing maybe ten miles an hour at this point and subconsciously pulling off the road, my eyes following their gaze.

All I could manage before I myself stepped out of the now parked car was very quiet. Holy shit. At which point and being followed the gaze of the standing strangers and slowly got out of the jeep with me.

We all stood there, all five of us in complete deafening silence mouth. Agap body still as we as the lake, we had just crept out of all looking the same unbelievable, unbelievable sight that was. I can't read sorry, it's not just me.

I'm also trying to look at this lake to the side because I'm reading and putting my face on the microphone. So I'm sorry. It's hard. Let me start that sentence and that sentence again. We all stood there, all five of us in complete deafening silence. Mouths, mouths agape body still in the lake. We had just crept out of all looking at the same unbelievable sight before us.

So I did it. I did it first. I want to talk about the noise it made because it's unlike anything I've ever heard before. The closest correlation I can make is after having lived through a hurricane. I don't know if either one of you ever experienced a hurricane, especially being from New England. We did. We had like Hurricane Bob there, a big one there. Like a little more chill, though, than like supercharges hurricanes.

Marco The only reason I have is because I lived in Nashville for three years. But let me be the first to tell you, it is terrifying. A hurricane can usually be heard before it can be seen. And the sounds kind of like a low rumbling of a very heavy freight train, only much more ominous. And with more of an almost growl, I don't really know how to explain it. I don't really know how to explain it well. But this quote unquote aircraft, if you will, sounded like a hurricane.

That's terrifying. Yeah, no, thank you.

The weirdest part, though, was that it was almost as if the sound was coming from inside my head and not the thing itself. That part got to me so much.

I was like what I could feel the noise it was making and it gave me fucking full body chills. I'm honestly shocked I didn't shit myself on the spot.

I thought that before you even saw it for real, I want to sheet next how it looked. It was massive, massive, bigger than any aircraft I've ever seen.

And I have since worked in an airport walking next to the likes of 747. Also, massive things like that really stress me out.

Yeah, I think there's a word for that. I don't know it, but there is a word.

I think there is a feeling that I have that phobia because I look of things like that will like send me into a panic phobia of of giant things, which is crazy because I'm married to a six foot three man, but he's not like massive.

It's kind of I'm just getting megalo phobia, megalo phobia I have that this thing could have leveled the entire center of town just by Windu. It was dark and still in terrifyingly low in the sky.

It almost looked as though it was resting on the steeple of the church, like I could reach out and touch it if I wanted, whether it was truly that low or it just emitted a mysterious pole, making me feel even closer to it than I actually was. I cannot say there were a few small and very discrete lights on it and an arrow triangle track layout. But due to how dark it was and the extreme lack of light pollution in my small town, I couldn't see much more of it.

One of the things that keeps me up at night is wondering how the new normal is affecting my child's education.

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It hovered over all of us for what felt like an over an hour. None of us saying anything. Finally, it retreated slowly at first, and then with such shocking speed, I thought it would rip a hole in the night sky.

What isn't that beautiful and terrifying way of putting that? Heather's a great writer. I thought it would rip a hole in the night sky. Oh, my God. Wow. That's like what's that movie with. I hate him. Well, Annie, what's that movie like movie that the Avalon reminds you of? I just don't jump, guys. I just don't know the Jim Carrey movie about Jim Carrey movie. It reminds me of the Avalon. They're talking and they don't know.

They just Truman Show, The Truman Show. She reminds me of The Truman Show. I'm so sorry. I was like, I'm very sorry. You hate Jim Carrey.

Yes. Why? I don't know all of his. I just get angry at him. Guys, I'm just learning this. All of his roles. I'm just like, oh, shut the fuck up. Like your touch. Wow. He also went crazy in real life.

I mean, I disagree, but OK, we're going to go with it. It flew straight back away from us, started to the left a few hundred feet and then shot straight up and vanished without a trace.

Just as it had appeared to us it was gone.

If all this wasn't enough, the rest of the ride home was the most uncomfy I've ever been in my life. And I've been through some shit.

KBE into myself, got back into the car at half speed, eyes wide and unblinking. None of us said a single fucking word to each other for the rest of the night, not even when I dropped them off.

We sat in bone chilling silence with some sort of telepathic agreement that there were no words that could possibly describe what had just happened. Just picture three terrified teens staring straight ahead, throats dry with fear, sitting in utter silence, not even glancing at each other. It's like a movie to put some icing on that spookiest cake. Remember how I said I had turned the Veronicas down but not off? Well, the stereo was completely off and none of the gauges on my dash were working.

My gas needle already empty. The needles on my speedometer and RPM's were at zero and four years after that night until I finally got rid of Jenny. The Jeep rest in pieces.

BBG know my dash would randomly fall, my dashboard randomly fell, all needles would fail, all gauges would malfunction.

I took it to the town mechanic and he could not figure out where the electrical disconnect was or find anything wrong with it. So there's my weird story. I'm just so glad none of us were anally probed, probed, Scott probed.

The three of us never really talked about it. I think we all felt a little not so. But in my humble opinion, I think anyone who believes we are the only beings in this entire fucking universe are dumb and narcissistic. I agree. Totally. I agree.

Sorry, that turned into a novel. Like I said, my brain is wild in my ramblings aplenty. Thank you for reading this and thank you both for being such a lovely and beautiful humans beings.

You'll make my days a lot easier and brighter with with your fucked up murder stories and dark humor. I hope to make it to a live show someday. If the world doesn't end soon, fuck 2020. Much love and support.

Heather, Heather. Incredible. Heather, you should take up a career in writing first.

Yeah, you are an incredible writer that I pictured that entire thing in my head the entire time.

I believe you two. Oh I believe you. I believe in UFO sightings for sure. Totally believe you.

And also it makes sense because in a lot of UFO sightings, there's a mechanical like electrical malfunctions that happen afterwards.

I think that's happened, Heather, and I believe you and I will I'll take the stand for you.

And also when I get in my car after this, I'm 100 percent listening to the Veronicas.

There you go. And also, Heather, let's be friends. We're already friends. We're friends. I have my listener tree listener, Tori. It's oh, wow. We've we've had two weeks of very intense stories. So I think she's like, nice fun ones are like really tripping us up. Yeah. Whenever you say intense, all I can think of is Uncle Tim.

It's intense, high fashion, intense high fashion at the boom boom room. OK, anyways, listener's story. What the fuck is that smell.

What's up conse. That's why I already love you.

It's short and sweet but it's incredible. I love you. Hello. From the hot moist north Queensland. Australia.

That's why, that's why they so freely said what I could see. People say cunts in other places don't yell at me no matter what somebody says you're wrong. First of all, I love your shit and shenanigans. Been bingeing hardcore the past few months. I'm a sales rep for a hair company, so I'm on the road a lot. And you guys have kept me company on some spoofy highways, including the Flinders Highway. Flinders Highway. Cool. I did the episode of that on the Flinders Highway.

Cool special. Hey girl. Hey. To Ash from a hair stylist. A hair stylist of the. Yes, OK, gush over.

Rewind to when I was a wee apprenticed. I'm not going to say how long ago I refused to grow up. I feel that I was living in a small open plan town house by my lonesome. You can imagine how dodgy this place was as I could afford it barely on an apprentice wage. And let me personally tell you, apprentice wage is not a lot and you're not doing any hair washing rocks.

It's a good story for later, but a true thing.

Any who it was like number seven of twelve in a row, right in the middle. You neighbours remember how I said hot, moist north Queensland? Yeah, I definitely remember that. I'll never forget it. One fine morning. I'm getting ready to go to work and when I find or when I get out of the front door, I get hit with a rotting carcass smell. Now I know rotting animal smell. I'm from a small country town.

This was not it, but it was close ish and kind of faint just wafting along as the wind changed directions. Oh, nice picture this. Green air just wafting. I basically live in a dorm now, so I feel like that's what I smell all the time.

My first thought was, for fuck's sake, didn't no one ever tell them not to put your meat in the bin until bin day? Don't leave that shit festering. Nasty yet nasty. Reminds me that. Sorry, but I checked my bin in case someone had done something in it and it wasn't the source. I assumed it was one of my nastiest neighbors. Always assume that nobody always has a nasty cyber. Now fast forward two and a half weeks and the smell had just been getting worse and more intense.

Oh, someone's rotting somewhere 100 percent. Yeah, and that says. But only when the wind was blowing a certain direction. Now, see, if this happened now, I would have been on the phone calling the police, but I was young and dumb and I was just annoyed now because clearly someone keeps missing bin day and leaving gross shit in the bins, nasty people.

That's clearly what's happening. Anyway, after a particularly long day at work, I drive into the parking lot and see two police cars and a crime scene crew in the lot and there is a dead person in their trigger warning.

My neighbor in nine like two doors down was an elderly gentleman whom I didn't see often but knew existed. That's what most neighbors are. I see them or talk to the neighbors. Yes. Apparently, the poor gent suffered severe diabetes.

He passed away and no one had known until someone had done a welfare check because apparently he had no family town.

He had passed peacefully on his bed with the windows slightly open. So that's why we got lofts every so often. Well, they had to clean that up, didn't they? They opened the unit and started hauling shit out. I know. Get the fuck out to a friend's after no amount of incense and candles would combat that aroma.

Oh, and that'll stay.

It is burned in my nostrils forever now. And I will never forget that smell. It's also something that haunted me. The idea that I die and no one would find me. Oh, that really is scary. It's very sad. I have some great stories of crazy old ladies and dead bodies from my nursing student days. I might send your way if you enjoyed this. We did. We thoroughly enjoyed it. So please keep sending. Yes. Love your work, girls.

Keep it up, keep it weird as fuck and come to Australia one day when the world has when the world has done ending in shit. Cheers, Adam Crow.

Oh my goodness Adam.

I just love when people have smelled the dead body and like not realized it until and then the like is oh and he was right to by saying like that is going to be burned in your nostrils forever because I still feel like it's especially like days after I come out of the morgue, like I'll be like drinking something and I'm like, why does this smell like a dead person.

Like it just sticks in your nose and it randomly just shows itself every now and then.

A lot of times we record when Elaina gets home from work.

And I'm always like, did you wash the smell of the dead off of you yet? Because I'm not coming over until you've showered. And I'm like, nope, I came right from their hands. Oh, nasty brain splatter, I'm sure. Touchin shit. No biggie.

So I take a shower. Everybody, don't worry. She's like mainly because of it. Yes. But definitely for that to this next one is incredible. I fly, I, I'm ready for this. Let me just get in a better position, OK. It's called issue himself, and then she nearly shit herself a listener, too. And that's why I picked it, because I love poop jokes. I'm pretty excited.

Ladies, first off, let me tell you that your podcast is unreal and the absolute Crake. What is Krake? I think like shit. All right. That's a cool word. I'm going to look at the RIAA. I see Crake Crich. I think it's Crich Craig sounds better, I'm going to say, Craig, you guys are legends, totally hilarious and I'm addicted to your shit for reals. You are the best me to break in.

Yeah, I think it's crack.

According to according to Wikipedia, the absolute crack, a term for news, gossip, fun entertainment and enjoyable conversation, particularly permanent in Ireland.

I love that. Thanks. Yeah, it's Crocombe Crash. All right.

I need covid to be over so you guys can make this thing international and come to Ireland, explore some of our creepy shit.

You have no idea how much I want to do that. Honestly saying I want to do because we're both Irish.

Yes. And John and I have been talking about doing a heritage trip forever, and I just do everything that John and Elaine is doing because they can't get rid of me. Exactly.

We want to go to Ireland, Scotland and Norway and I'll be there in the back seat, so I want to do it. My name is Janice. Hi, Janice. Hi. I'm from Dublin and I'm here to tell you the story of my friend in the murder who pooped himself already. Love this.

The story takes place in 2012 when I got married. My good friend is a beautician and is living her best life working in a laser therapy clinic in Dublin City Centre. She's new to the laser game and is still in training. So she's mostly working on pets and bits.

The most incredible description ever, bits and bits.

It's mostly women coming into the place and in her spare time she's lasering herself to within an inch of her life.

What smoother than being smooth? This bitch is whole body from the eyebrows down, that's what. Well, yes.

So one day this middle aged man walks in for a consultation, normal looking Irishman, nothing noteworthy about him.

He's obviously seen my buddy's arms and his M.B.

He wants to be silky smooth, too. The guy wants it all off facial hair and all his body hair.

I believe he just wanted the hair on his head left, but I can't quite remember it. This would make me a little concerned. Yeah. Immediately.

Like maybe this is just my very tainted mind that I would be like, what crime are you going to commit that you don't want to leave?

I think and I think it's from having a tainted mind because there's a call being like Métro and you don't like any of body hair.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, several men don't like, you know, anybody here. And that's totally fine. My tainted mind would immediately be like, you're going to murder someone.

My dumb ass would be like, he's a swimmer. He's a swimmer. No, you're probably right. So he just wanted to hear I believe he just wanted the hair on his head left.

But I can't quite remember if they agreed to do the the giblets for him or not. They quote him for the job.

It's going to take six or eight sessions over a number of months.

I can't remember the price, but it was a few it was a few bob over a thousand euros anyway. God guy agrees to it and pays upfront, which is also sketchy.

Yeah, I'm concerned they send him home to shave himself from head to toe and is scheduled to come back the following day. So if he comes, it's a big job. So an experienced therapist takes the lead. My friend is training, she's just hanging about. He's in there for a couple of hours. It's grueling in between the jig's in the real's. The guy lets one slip but but follows through and poops on the towel.

So like lets a fart slip. But but he actually starts. Oh my God. The therapist is a pro though and gets the job done.

Wow. What a legend that's like when you poop on the table and you have a baby.

Yeah. They just are just like those people are legends. He's gone and she tells the other therapist what happened. They agree that maybe for his next session they will split it over two days.

Still, it's funny as fuck and my friend tells us about it and we laugh telling her she has to do him next time, generally ripping the piss, because I think it's really painful.

So, like, oh, yeah, they were like, let's break it down. So he doesn't feel absolutely sure. Also, I love ripping the piss.

Like I'm telling you, Ireland has the best selling man you guys are killing. It's like you guys, Australia, like just Europe has some of the best everywhere. But America is so awesome. It's you know, we're constantly doing that. We love America totally.

But like, you guys just have awesome. Yeah. Playing. Yeah. Phrases flash forward a few weeks.

The guys do back in but never shows. It's weird. He's already paid in full. They can't get in contact so they just wait. So a few days later my friend is visiting her aunt. There's a newspaper on the table in a big headlines. Beware murder changes appearance.

Oh no, no, no. That was me girlfriend ish.

Look, it's Captain Poopy Pants splattered all over the front of the newspaper in an article that says he was released from prison. But the judge thinks he can't be reformed. So why was he released? This kind of depravity doesn't go away. And people, especially women, need to beware. He's changing how he looks so he won't be recognized as the piece of shit who murdered his partner, chopped her up, dumped her body in a ditch, didn't get caught and went on to do the same to another woman within a few months.

Holy shit, isn't that bananas? His name is Michael Brehm. Bambrick is a piece of shit, much like the stain he left on that towel. And to add insult to injury, he's living in the same Dublin suburb as us. You can read the article here or Google him to read more about the actual crimes.

Oh, I see. So your your feeling would have been right. I'm very. Yeah, it's good that we have tainted. I'm really glad that's good that you do. And that you would have liked to hear. Right.

Needless to say, my friend showed the paper to her colleagues, but he never showed up there again or looked for a refund roll on a few months and he's out buying a Valentine's card in a local supermarket. And who does she see? Poor bitch. Nearly did a Michael Bambrick and clean shit herself in the aisle. She picks the fuck out of there ASAP. Rocky fucking murders hanging around the vegetable aisles and shit, probably looking for adult nappies, diapers or something.

Anyway, that's the story of the time I came into contact with a double murderer who couldn't control his bowels.

Feel free to edit this, especially if my Irish isms don't make sense. No, no. Do they make perfect sense? They enhance it. Also shout out to my friend Lorna who proofread this for me. She's a listener too. And remember to keep it weird, but not so weird that you help a convicted murderer change his appearance and reduce the possibility of him leaving trace evidence at his next crime scene. Thanks and bye. Incredible shit. Janice killed it.

This is a gift, Janice.

Oh, these are great. All right. I love this. And I love Iris ASMs. I love them so much. We have another alsi love it. Listener tale of a spooky asshole weirdo's. Absolutely love your podcast and never thought I'd get into true crime. But after listening to your podcast, I'm Addicted. My name's Cluley, my colleague, my name's Chloe.

I'm a 19 year old Aussie with a lot of stories. And yes, I'm happy for you to use my name in your podcast. Thank you, Chloe. I'm going to apologise now for the length, but I'll jump right into it. Never apologize. It's not even that long, girl. It's OK. Don't do it.

I live in Perth, Western Australia, and an area named Monday Zhang Mon Zhang Monday Zhang I like it. I have a few stories from this area like the ghost horse that lives in the stables. But anyway, this is the one that really spooked me. I want to hear about the Ghost Horse. I want to hear about it all. Yeah, I worked night shifts as a stripper in the city and one night I had finished early around one o'clock, went straight to Motus and got myself a big ass burger and eat that shit so quickly while driving down some dark back street roads to go home.

Hellyeah one o'clock burger is the best kind of burger, the best, no better burger in town.

Here in Australia we have some random ass wildlife jumping out of our cars out in front of our cars, kangaroos, rabbits.

Sometimes a cow come up to me who's always blow my brain apart. You know, it sucks.

I guess kangaroos are like dicks, like they're really tiny. Ah. And like I want them to be. I want them to be nice. Yeah, they're dicks.

It's like a kangaroo just jumping out in front of your car.

I know that's wild, but I feel like the thought of a cow on the street doesn't even create a cow is weird but like that could happen around here.

Yeah. I could have a bit of kangaroo just bouncing around out there that stresses me out. It's fucked up like those jacked kangaroos. That's really scary. Yeah. And they can fuck up your car real bad. Hashtag Australia. Mostly people around my area have four wheel drives like LAN Land Cruisers and patrols with big bullbars. Me, I have a shit box Holden Barina that I have crashed into a million things, but I have no idea how it's still running.

Definitely not ideal to have in this kind of area. I'm worried for you honestly.

Anyways, while I was driving on a road called kErogEn, which I think Kaga to look at you bitch, there's an extremely bright light, obviously a car coming from behind me.

I remember thinking fucking turn your high beams off your dickhead while shoved the well I shoved the extra nugget's I had bought earlier in my face.

I was a hungry woman. I feel you. I always get burger, get a burger and nuggets. Yeah. You can't decide. Know what kind of choices that it's Sophie's Choice is what it is. That's exactly what it is. It's like get the nuggets and the burger. Yes. You're going to be hungry. I always the car got closer and suddenly too close for comfort. The cars I beams literally lit up my entire car. Me feeling mildly uncomfortable.

I decided to press the accelerator and speed up to turn off so this idiot can pass me.

I turn off onto a road called Bishop that is classified as an open road, which means there's no speed limit. Well, I want to live in Australia of those like I wish we had that so cool. The best we get is like a fifty.

After turning down this road, I realised that the tailgating, sandy, wet lettuce was coming down the same road after returning randomly down a few streets.

I was sure I was being followed and I was only a short distance from home, but I didn't want to leave this asshole anywhere near my home. So I took random streets trying to lose this dick wad, dick ward, even Nade Dick Ward, even driving past my house twice after you go.

That's smart. That's very smart. Absolutely panicking.

I was trying to call my best friend Sheree. Yes, you can use her name, but this was all happening at three o'clock in the morning. Oh, no, the devil's hour. So she was still asleep.

So no help there. Sherry. I was driving like a mad woman trying to lose this piece of shit that I thought had some ridiculous amount of roadway road rage, that the car was a huge four wheel drive ute. You tute ute with the biggest bulbar I have ever seen. And I live in Australia where we have some big bullbars because we also have a lot of kangaroos with a deathwish.

Now those fuckers can get huge. Oh, I'm so terrified. Australia, I know so clearly.

I was also very intimidated as this big ass car at this big ass car as it could just crush my little pathetic excuse of a car.

I spent the next twenty minutes trying to lose this car. Random backstreet's all through.

Say the word again. Bundjalung. Yes.

Now when I say this car was tailgating, I mean the bulbar was inches away from my car.

So I was indeed panicking. I'm panicking for you because I'm just thinking about this. So I love indeed panic. Indeed. Again, I thought I'm probably going to die tonight. At least I got a good feed though. I fucking love you.

I turned back on Bishop Road and absolutely floored it. Some Fast and Furious shit was about to happen, I swear. Yeah. As I turned back on to my street, I looked in my rearview mirror to see the car stopped in the middle of Bishop Road, headlights still beaming and literally just vanished.

What, like, what the fuck?

I suddenly got the biggest wave of relief. I looked back at the road and turned the corner, only to see the sea. A ute slammed into a ditch, completely fucked up with all the lights still on and airbags deployed.

I immediately was like, No thanks. I choose life as I've listened to this podcast for a while. And I know that when you try to help someone, you could get murder.

Sure do you. Right. So I was not getting out of the car. Or stopping, but yeah, so I just started immediately crying because I was fucking scared and I didn't know what else to do. This car was in the ditch.

The last few times I drove the street was a definite, spooky, spooky.

I went straight. I went straight home and called the cops and let them know about the huge ute in the ditch on the side of the road. The next morning, I told the girls down at the stables while making horse speeds up about the spooky car in the car in the ditch. And she goes, I'm pretty sure there's a disappearing car on that road.

Oh, thanks, Suri. Thanks so much, friend. I still go down this road to this day, just never at three o'clock.

So, yes, that's the time I thought I was going to get my car crushed by a road raging asshole whose car vanished before my eyeballs. Then a similar car was then crashed into a ditch.

Keep it weird, but not so weird. The P.S. please come to Australia for a live show.

Zach Holy shit, I love disappearing car stories. That's Tara in an effort to be in a ditch right afterward.

I know. Like, fuck that. That's terrifying. Very terrifying.

It's terrifying. Terrifying. It's real terrifying. And I just love hearing about Australian things. Exactly. We just love. Yeah, I get it, you know.

Wow. So that was scary. Very scary. All right, let's do this other one that I just lost.

OK, it's called Furbies are Satan's Spawn and no one can convince me otherwise. I think, Senator, I agree so hard. I love it. And this person of this is pretty cool. This person attached it in a PDF.

I love when people are easier to work. And for some reason.

All right, it says hello, good ladies of the world, weirdo world. I love that. It's a good idea. Ladies, my name is Senin and I just that's a really cool name.

It is very cool. Senin and I discovered your podcast in February and had been listened to it every day at work. You two are amazing, Ash. I don't think I have ever heard of anyone who sings their way through awkward situations, so I appreciate that I'm not the only one. Olina. I hope. I hope to Jesus to Jebus. I spelled that correctly. And you did. You did. You are a bad ass mother. Thank you.

Literally and figuratively.

I love the silliness that you to bring to this rather poopy subject and the fact that you make weirdos like me feel normal for walking past a creek and wondering if one day I'm going to happen upon a body. One day, ladies, one day.

Any losers under the Dail? I am the youngest of seven siblings, and even though four of them are step siblings, I still suffer the same sibling Fonzie's as I did with my blood siblings.

Oh, we know about that. Oh, I know all about that. We all know about that.

One year when I was about six or seven, my parents thought it was a good idea to bring a demon into our household for each of us kids they presented us with pink and purple spotted Berbee at the time the seem harmless, but I assure you it sure as fuck was not.

I thought it was so high tech to have this Anapra animatronic toy to play with that interacted with you. Alas, the fun times I had with it would not last because if you are a sibling letting your younger sister have a fun time, minding her own damn business is completely unacceptable. One night my sister and brother took my Furby and meticulously removed the fur skin to reveal a scary ass Terminator like a scary ass Terminator uncracked looking motherfucker.

We should.

Have you ever seen a film without its skin? Literally Terminator. That's exactly what it is. Holy shit.

They then put this beast in front of my door at 230 with impeccable backlighting and turned it on. I was ripped from my peaceful unconsciousness to Burby.

I fucking hate Furbies.

I don't know. But the flu out of my bed.

While simultaneously creating a rhythmic gymnastics Privett initiate rhythmic gymnastics derivate out of sheer terror.

Naturally, this brought immense delight to the jack wagon Hoosiers I happened to share DNA with. This would delight to me. Yeah, we know now this is where it gets spooky to the back and hopefully it warrants a need to grasp your butts for safety. But you can be the judges. I appreciate that. After this unfortunate, unfortunate display of fear comedy. That is the thing. Now, I just made it up. I looked into that. I looked that spawn of Satan.

Oh, sorry.

I locked that spawn of Satan testicles in a box, sounds batteries and shoved it far into my bed. Several nights went by and I slept soundly, dreaming of living in a world where Jurassic Park number two happened, i.e. when the T-Rex made it to the mainland and eats everyone's dog goes, What a dick.

When I hear a crackly sound from the unknown location in my room, at first I thought this was my Douceur siblings, but there was no answer, hoping it was nothing. I closed my eyes again and pulled my anti boogyman blanket closer to myself again. I heard this crackly sound, but this time I. The word Berbee being spill out from under my bed immediately, I jumped off my bed, blankets still in tow and looked under to see if the box had been moved.

It had not been touched. Hesitantly, I reached for the box to check if it was just my imagination and yet again, resounding, clear as fucking day voice, said Berbee.

I yanked my arm so hard back into my body and heated myself out into the hallway wall, breaking the light at the base of it.

And that's where I remained until seven, when my dad came downstairs to get us for school. I just picture just like sleeping in the hallway, but like, not like sitting up in the hallway until 7:00 in the morning after school.

That day I came home, put that Dayman box still locked straight into a bucket and set it on fire to send the spon back where once it came or whatever Furbies originate. Needless to say, my dad was quite concerned as to why his six or seven year old was burning a box containing a Furby on around after school.

All he needed to know was the house was now safe from a demon. That would definitely suck our souls out like a fucking Capri Sun.

So that was my lesson to tell. I hope this will be enough to have the opportunity to be read on an episode.

Thank you so much for reading and hope you forever keep it weird, but not so weird that you do rhythmic gymnastics with pee and have to sacrifice your toy back to Satan because your brothers and sisters wanted to take the skin off and then have to explain to your dad that you just saved his souls from a see you next Tuesday.

So that was hiding under your bed by saying, I love suck our souls out like a fucking Caprice, because that also just explains the time of Furby. So perfectly truly Christesen Furbies like Presa was my childhood and I kept forgetting because I was like, oh, it's absurd.

I was like, oh, it just turned on. And then I was like, Wait, you took the batteries out. Right, exactly. That's why it's so scary. Holy shit, man.

I once lived with this lady who had Furbies like along the top of her, like China cabinet.

And so and it was like upis so they would all just be like staring down at you. So I've developed a deep hatred for Furbies because they're not you know, I've never wanted to Furby in my life. No, I think I didn't I never wanted a Furby. No. And I never had one. No.

So I thought about the Furby life. No way. I don't want that happening to me. Those were all incredible. Those were delightful, delightful, lighthearted and wonderful.

And yeah, we had these they needed to be lighthearted this time because. Yeah, some lighthearted, silly ones which we appreciate.

Well, as always, you can check us out on Instagram at Morbid Podcast. You can hit us up on Twitter, a morbid podcast.

You could send us an email with your listener tale morbid podcast at Gmail dot com and label it listen or tail. You could buy some merch at the morbid podcast Merch Shop, which is shoptalk morbid podcast dotcom.

And go check out all the shows that we mentioned in the beginning of the show that are now on Morbid Network.

Yipee! We hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it. We. But not so that you're driving down an Australian road at night. There's a disappearing car, not so weird that you're going to sleep at night. Furby is just under your bed being like, hey, girl, what's up? And not so weird that what else happened. Ilina hit me up, hit me up, pick me up and hairless murder. That's a way that there's a hairless murderer dishearten on your table because you don't want chaat everywhere on your, like, laser table.

That would be so horrible and not so weird that you walk outside and you're like, oh, it's not been day to day and you just smell a dead man and not so weird that you do a UFO.

The UFO is flying over your head. Don't keep it that weird.

Don't keep it that weird. Let me.