Editor's Note: This transcript was automatically transcribed, so mistakes are inevitable. You can contribute by proofreading the transcript or highlighting the mistakes. Sign up to be amongst the first contributors.
The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only, so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up? You call? Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother and me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.
I'm your middle brother, Travis of McElroy.
I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy.
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. You were Ascoli Wabbit. Happy birthday to you. Hi, everybody. We are we're celebrating the life of Bugs Bunny.
Oh, 80 years old today.
I mean, he doesn't so excited to have he's not on the show. But if he was, I think he'd find a little something like this. Hey. OK, but but he wasn't born, right, so he'll never die. He was born just as bad as when he was born.
Well, let's not be so quick to judge, because MAAD Flanders died famously of Simpsons.
So there is precedent that cartoon characters it can pass away. And we write about it in our TV guide and we try to solve who shot Mr. Burns. And it's very important to us.
So Bugs Bunny could get very, very sick, Travis, or some sort of some sort of disease for rabbits.
Some kind of carrot related thing. Some sort of thing like that. Yes.
Like maybe he just he ate some tainted carrots and shit himself to death.
And he gets to these little rabbits are little. It wouldn't take much with it. And you're thinking about it now.
He's a fragile little guy. We have to protect this 80 year old rabbit man. You know, I never cared for his antics.
I'm just going to put it right out there.
Of all the kind of cartoon I would say figureheads I always found. Bugs Bunny is acerbic wit and Jay to be a little bit a little bit on the mean.
This is now this is the moment where we can exclusively reveal that Travis was adopted. His birth name was Travis Foud now. And I and I'm so I'm glad we could finally put that out into the world.
I don't think you have to be cut from that particular bald, impotent cloth to to hate this rabbit. I think dude sucks. You want space jam?
Fucking Lola Bunny shows up like, hey, everybody, check out how good I am of basketball and this fucking idiot rabbits, like I have a belly nerve.
It's like, yo, like she didn't come here for you to do that. Bugs she came here to play basketball with Michael Jordan, which is a once in a lifetime opportunity. If I roll the gym and was like, let me play basketball, show you how good I am, Tash, check out how good I am at dunking and fucking you know, Wiley Coyote was like, let me fuck you.
I would be like, this is not what I signed up for.
Griffin, to be fair, please don't besmirch Wiley Coyote. He brought you dinner first.
And he would he would ask for you would hold up a little sign that would said, got to fuck you. He wouldn't say it out loud. He wouldn't hold up a sign. He said, would it be okay if I fucked you?
Can I talk about the stuff that I want to talk about with Bugs Bunny? Is it about how much he sucks? I did my trip. I did my research on Bugs Bunny.
All right. Up some facts and figures and stats. And I have two things I'd like to share with you about Bugs Bunny. Thank you. The mental floss, as always, for preparing all of human history down to the real thank dugs. Here's one fact I'd like to discuss.
In several psychological studies about false beliefs, scientists have shown people fake advertisements for Disney World featuring Bugs Bunny, a significant portion of subjects then claim to remember going to Disney and meeting bugs, even though Warner Brothers character would never be on display at a Disney theme park.
Now, OK, I want to be the I want I got these Mubarrak. Yeah, it's Bugs Bunny. I remember I was there. It was me in the mouse and bugs, all three of my best friends just hanging out.
How much time do you think there had to be between showing them these fake ads, then asking I'm like, hey, look at this ad.
Do you remember this? Yes. Yeah. I guess, you know, when you saw Bugs Bunny. Oh, yeah.
I think he was there, although, yeah, to be fair, to be unfair to science, I guess I should say, to be fair to these people who were in a study, you show me a commercial for four for Disney World featuring Bugs Bunny, and then they're like as Bugs Bunny, Disney World, I would probably say, well, we fucking we're going to have a lawsuit on their hands.
Who who is wasting their time making fun of Disney World ads? If not, that's weird. I mean, to be fair, there is a lot of weird stuff at Disney now. Sometimes I'm reminded that the Muppets are owned by Disney and that seems interesting and strange. But if someone said, what's Bugs Bunny Disney like, I don't know, man. You said you'd give me one hundred dollars if I did this study. Is that now or do I?
Is it cheque or cash or what's the deal?
My second fact about bugs, all right, is in 1961, Mel Blanc, who voiced Bugs Bunny, got to a serious car accident that left him in a coma for weeks. Eventually, a doctor tried to get the unresponsive patient to talk by asking him, Bugs Bunny, how are you doing today?
Blank responded in Bugs Voice What's up, doc? Later, the doctor would say of the incident, it seemed like Bugs Bunny was trying to save his life.
Oh, God, that's good.
And that doctor's license to do literally anything that involves helping people, medically touching the people, being near people was instant driving a car. He's driving my car.
So this. So are you tired? This doctor after this, like back to the other doctors, is like Bugs Bunny is. Listen, I know this is going to sound, but Bugs Bunny is in there and he's trying to help me save this man's life.
Anyway, I'm going to go write a movie called Monkeybone.
Now, if you'll excuse me, the next morning he came in all embarrassed guys. I'm sorry. I watched Patch Adams thirty years before it came out and it led me to some questionable decisions.
I hate this fucking rabbit. I'm saying I'm done, guys. You know, if if Donald Duck was talking shit, Mickey wouldn't trick a hunter into shooting him. That's what I'm saying.
It's like also never been like it's duck season fucker. Like, you wouldn't do that. Yeah.
It's like if if pig like Pete was there and he was terrorizing Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse wouldn't be like stab Donald to death instead.
Yeah. Yeah, we were we were watching Donald Duck cartoon recently and my two year old just out of nowhere and loudly announced Donald Duck is a grass hole.
That's what he said.
Donald Duck, he's a grass hole.
And we we after a little bit of searching and digging, we found out that she had confused him with Donald Trump and was just echoing things that we had said around the house.
All right, cool. Donald said Donald Duck is a grass hole.
Now, you sort of like get your political frustration out as you walk around your house loudly proclaiming that Donald Trump is an asshole. No, my five year old does that.
Oh, OK. And then so. OK, cool.
OK, I was going to say that's probably not that ain't gonna move the needle. That ain't gonna move the national conversation over big. It's a big tent at our house.
We like to let our viewers foment. All right.
This is an advice show and it's specifically an advice show on the maximum fun network, which is more specifically doing its annual pledge drive. The Maximum Fun Drive, Maximum Fun. Again, join is the address where you can go right now and support the shows that you love. You listen to Bambam sawbones.
Stop podcasting yourself, Jordan. Just go the adventure zone.
Whatever Switchblade sisters, you name it on our ass and carry all those great shows. Need your support now.
And the cool thing is, if you can pledge a few bucks a month or a lot of bucks a month, whatever works for you, we know there's a weird time for money.
So whatever you can do, we really appreciate it. But that money goes directly to the shows you listen to choose the shows you listen to when you sign up. And Max Fund takes a small portion to sort of keep things operating on their end. They do a lot to support our shows and then the rest goes is just split up between the shows that you enjoy. It's a way to support the stuff you like. And I know times are weird for for you all out there financially.
For a lot of folks, I will say it's. Also pretty, pretty weird on our end touring and stuff like that is not currently an option for us. So we really do depend on your support to to keep things going around here. If you like what we do and you have a few spare bucks and a few spare seconds, maximum fun. Doug Ford slash join is the address.
There's gifts to you. If you can pledge five bucks a month, you get a ton of bonus content, 10 bucks a month. You get all that stuff and a beautiful pen from the show of your choice. But the real thing is you're supporting things that you love and would not to put too fine a point on. But we really need you.
So if you can help out, if you're able to maximum fun dog food, join more like maximum fun orgasm, because that's what you're going to have when you go to this website. And I'm not going to say it again.
I'm not going to say it works. So Blue wended.
I told you I wouldn't say it was, what are we, Red Book. Come on. Can we can we do a question?
At the office, my desk is right next to our single occupant bathroom. Unfortunately, I'm able to hear some of the louder sounds that come out of the bathroom.
Oh, baby. How does a new guy in the office.
Oh, Marmaduke, you've done it again.
However, this new guy, the office who goes into the bathroom and immediately starts playing drums on his luck. Yeah. The thing is, he's really good. That's funnier than other things that we said. Yeah.
It's almost like you just let me get through the questions.
I've been looking for a new drummer to jam. We're better at.
Would love to ask him to jam some time. How do I approach the new guy and tell him that I'm impressed with him bathroom jamming and invite him to come jam.
That's from shamefully, shamefully shy in Chicago.
Let's OK, we can assume there this this person is drumming on his legs on when sit when seated, doing two things or doing Tuesdays or a comfortable onesie.
Right. Well, listen, if you're not sitting down to one thing, what are you doing?
Yeah. You're wasting a perfectly good chillax opportunity. I don't think people are gonna die.
I don't think people are standing at the urinal pulling their pants down to the point where they have exposed thighs to create that sort of sonorous, like slap.
Yeah, the hambone doing that. So that's that's important to know, man. Yeah. I mean, listen, if he's going to get a good drum line, if he's got a hambone, he needs to like get some skin.
Maybe he's also pulling up his shirt to get like the tummy cibola belly like a deep, deep bass.
Right. That's the bass drum.
So what would you get a little baby like get shoulders, you get the fucking high hat or the like, but then you get that. Let's play a game, the whole bunch, can we stop? Can we stop? Let's play a game where I slap a part of my body. You guys tell me what you think it is.
OK, got it right here. I have played this game, this exact game before. I'm going to say that's clavicle, that's like a now you using my clavicle would make that like there's not that much clavicle surface area to make that like loud of a slap, just like you would argue shirtless.
No. It's like your flank. You're flying right around Travis, you know, I guess, again, I'm going to say it's your bicep as my foot. How wonderful. So this everybody is always getting on my donors because I don't have a great segment like you guys have all these great segments of me now in the middle of an episode of like, everybody, shut up.
That was my elbow.
If you say that you're going to do this throughout the episode, it will be the first time that we've ever actually said that and actually followed through on it. Probably won't be doing this throughout the episode.
I won't be doing that and probably not. I listen, all you got to do is you got to lure him out.
With a tasty grill, and that's the thing is if you're within earshot of this guy and you're just like sitting at the coffee maker and when you sit in the coffeemaker, you just lay out a law, does does does does he's going to pick up whatever sticks he can find right around you and and start laying down another.
Let me give you a little bit of that, team.
De de de de de de de de de de de de de Groot. And then you're giving him like that and he's giving you that. Then, Suzanne, from down the hall, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Well, I really wish we could have built that, ironically. I really like we were when Travis helped.
Yeah, but the different times, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom can be actually that.
You know what I want to do a backwards segment. That's your that's your talk of assignment.
Oh OK. Now I don't think that's I'll pick up here.
Here's here's the problem. It's not what the problem is this, Justin, you're going to start laying down that tasty groove and he's going to get a little embarrassed to maybe walk away and you're going to push it and find out that he is only comfortable, much like someone singing in the shower.
He's only comfortable playing drums, sitting on the toilet.
So you're going to need to get a porta potty into your garage where you jam. Yeah. For him to be comfortable doing it. Now, if you can figure that out, that's a great gimmick for our band. It's a great fucking gimmick. It's like Frank sort of.
But yeah, with a guy in it, would you have would you cut out armholes.
Oh cool. In the porta potty. It's like the port a potties playing the drums are with you with the drums.
I had I pictured the drums in the water but that's going to fuck the whole sonic you know. Yeah. Yeah exactly. That's not gonna work now.
Now I'm seeing it and I like your version much better.
Yeah. Like, well, arms stick out of the porta potty and they're just rippin and then I guess you have to have feet hauls for the kick drum, but then an LSD face so that it can take on different facial expressions like you are really, really getting into it.
You know, it's like, oh the porta potties fucking rocking today and the brightness, the lead lap or whatever you've got, you've also got the in like when you need publicity, be like he's finally stepping out of the porta potty.
You know, it's funny, I actually used to do this called the potty.
Not a lot of people don't use the shit.
I'm checking with the judges so I could do a Yahoo! Yeah, I love that group. So here's a guy who that was sent in by my Jazmín on music. Here's one sent in by Adrian Karl. Thank you, Adrian. It's an anonymous Yahoo!
Answers user who I'm going to call Megan like Megan, but with an M at the end asks.
Why do cello players shake their head when they play the cello? OK, everybody, everybody knows this.
You you look at the you look at the string quartet, the cello players always like I always kind of groovin I was watching a Rachmaninoff concert last night.
I'll fuck off. Well, no fuck on and off. That's two that's two in a row.
And it featured a young woman playing the piano. She's really getting into it. Right.
And and as much as I enjoyed her performance, all I kept thinking was like how much more interesting it would be if she just looked really bored, if she was, like, yawning and like checking the time and stuff and playing almost like she was just like killing time, like these really difficult lyrics.
And I think that maybe that's it is that this point, all cello players are so good at it that they have to act like it's really hard so that it's like people are impressed because if they, like, showed how I was like, no, at this point, man, I'm thinking about it.
I'm trying to remember that recipe from my grandmother's really good banana nut muffins like this is easy as possible as possible.
Could also be that Yo-Yo Ma started doing it and I was like, wow, if yo yos if if Mom's doing it, I need a friend to do that. Right? Absolutely. There's cellist trends. Absolutely there is.
Oh, this guy started wearing real jangly bracelets and now we're all wearing jangly bracelets so that you can hear us like people like a little differently as we go.
Like, do you know, I would I would think bowstring composure is like a big oh, like there's always like a new shit. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's can continually more.
Sort of DVS like a more like a war worse. Just worse for the environment, worse morally, like more bankrupt, like it's like cow, like baby cow innards, stuff like that, and just gets worse and worse. This is Hair from the Christ. Yeah, we stole that.
We stole it from the church. This is this is hair from the we hired Nicholas Cage to steal the hair of Christ to steal a fistful of Christ hair.
Oh yeah. Do you guys know the kind of headshake I'm like that. Kind of like you're really drawing on it really well. Oh yeah. Shredding these Trini's I'm ready to tell you, given the truth.
Yeah. And I only know this because I'm an ordinary cellist, because I saved a child's life and so now their life is mine to do.
Yeah, sure. Sure, yeah.
We know what a lot of people don't know if you don't play a cello is actually the way a cello works is as you're playing it. It is fighting back the whole time.
And so it was kind of like, oh yeah, it's like a wrestling match. So there's a lot of like kind of like throwing it back and forth that has to happen.
So that headshake is like the kind of counterbalance to keep the cello from getting away with ever get free little. It has that big spike at the bottom. A dangerous. Yeah, I would use that to kill everyone.
Yeah. At least. Yeah. So and then there's also the danger that, you know, a lot of times you, your mom, before he was such an accomplished cellist, he would finish a performance and people were like, oh shit, where did he, where did yo yo man just go and then be like oh fuck.
He got, he got trapped inside his cello again. And you would look inside, you would look inside the little hole and he would be in there like, oh fuck it, God, that's why the concerts go so long.
They have to wear wear out their cello so that they can be put away for a night, put away, or else they will not get back in their boxes.
They don't like it at all.
They will kill and they will not stop killing. Once they taste human blood, the child will never rest and we are all dead.
And that's why violinists are weak babies, because it's like a fight, a fight, a real fucking instrument.
A double bass is like, all right, fucking wow, we get it. You're so strong.
You can hear even that. That's why you say the violin is too weak to really hurt human beings all that much. But a double bass is so heavy, that's easy to catch. A cello is right there in the middle is easily God's most dangerous creature.
And then you get you see a swing band where they're like fucking spinning that double bass around. It is like, wow, big dick energy.
Anybody is that back? I think so. It kind of felt like you were beating its head back in and everyone said, that's the bad guys, are we doing it?
And we're going to continue. Nope, I'm not saying that.
No, it is problematic. OK, I'll try.
I'll try again in another couple of years by here's another question. I just purchased a basketball for my father's birthday. Unfortunately, he decided he would go out and buy one for himself at the end of the week, two days before I was going to give it to him. The problem is simple. How do I keep him from buying his own basketball? Why not letting him know what I've done?
Because of everything. The store is not accepting returns. I don't want him to buy another thing.
What can I do? You got to read the name Bung Basketball Bunghole in Connecticut.
What kind of relationship?
Oh man. I have a lot of questions. What can a relationship do you have with your father and what kind of relationship does your father have with money?
And also the sporting goods store, that basketball for that basketball, for that matter, that he would say something like at the end of this week, God is my witness.
Listen, everyone, everyone gather around. Everyone shut up and listen. This Friday afternoon, I will be going to Dick's Sporting Goods to purchase one American basketball. Fifty five birthdays have passed in which I did not have a basketball. Another one will not come and go until I have that rubber bastard under my thumb.
That is such a wild thing that I did not even process. That's what they were saying. I thought they were talking in the past tense.
But no, a declaration has been made about basketball purchasing. Blands.
Well, in the near future, your dad is from a different generation. We're going to the store. Used to be an event. You know, people used to gather around and circle the basketballs they were going to buy or maybe just look at if they could afford it.
You know, that used to be a big day out during the Great Depression just to go to the decks and look at the basketballs, maybe bounce them on, but down the aisles, get a sense of their action, you know what I mean?
And then dream about the day when you could afford a basketball out, cut out clips of the old Sears Roebuck catalog of some beautiful new basketballs.
Why do you think why did he look when you when he announced this? Did he maybe look knowingly at everyone waiting, thinking someone might say, no, please don't don't do that?
Hint, hint, hint.
Hmm. I mean, again, a strange relationship with basketball, if that is the case. Like, I really want to make sure I'm really going to put a gun to everyone's heads on this whole basketball thing. Well, one of two things has happened.
Either your father has never owned a basketball, at which point him deciding two days before his birthday to buy it is is an interesting why now father or he has owned the basketball before, routinely used it, and now it is, I don't know, destroyed somehow. And he's like, why? He loves basketball enough that both you and him have thought about getting him a basketball, but not so much that he has a basketball at the ready.
Can I ask is just a stupid question. Yes. It's Dr. Anthony Fauci on Cameo one, because if he is, you could just pay like a hundred bucks or something to do a cameo for your dad. That's like basketball is, you know, dangerous or contaminated in some way. Oh, so not as a present. No.
I mean, it would be a president you could have and be like, happy birthday, you old son of a gun. And also don't touch don't touch any basketballs. They're so dangerous. And it's really given to you by a loved one. Unless they have been unless they're my own special brand of football.
And then you are going to have to coordinate with Foushee to get him to, like, decorate the basketball, like, put it. But maybe it's just a big cool sticker that he puts on it that lets people know this is a genuine clean foushee ball.
I'm really enjoying Fauji. I really hope I'm saying that name right.
Yeah, you do pretty good. OK. I don't think he's on camera when your dad says, I'm going to go buy a basketball saying, no, don't play basketball. And he's like, why not? You say, because basketball is stupid. So make him feel really bad about it.
Or you could pay one hundred dollars, beloved Dr. Anthony Fauci, to do that for you. Your idea was just a worse idea. Version. My idea.
Hey, let me throw this out 10 minutes before he's about to leave to go to the store. Hand him the basketball and say happy birthday.
Yeah, that's because that is the play. You've gotten him to presence. Then you've gotten him a basketball and he doesn't have to go anywhere to get it.
That would be perhaps if this were if I were your father, which I'm not, then unless this is Bebe, then I would be so Jeyes to have just been miraculously saved. Any amount of effort whatsoever then like that would make my dad, well, my child.
What if your child just walked into the room right now, Travis, and just like launched a fucking bullet chest pass right at you? Like, let's go, pops. Happy birthday. Oh, my God.
I'd be so excited. I don't even like basketball. I'd be. So let's put it a different way. What if Bebe walked in and said here on this memory drive, is the rest of the episode already recorded? You can go fuck off. Well, I'd be so excited.
That would be so sick. I would love that. Right.
If Henry and Charlie and Bebe had just gone ahead and recorded the rest of the episode for us, I man, I'd be watching Avatar The Last Airbender right now.
Cool life that you're living. Can I do another Yahoo!
I'd love that graph and I love how we're just churning through questions.
Yeah, we're really blasting off into some new level and getting some work done and I can't sent this in.
Thank you, Eminence. Yahoo! Answers user. They are anonymous also. I'm going to call them. Preston asks. Do people travel to the USA for good American food like hot dogs and burgers? Oh my God, there's got to be some reason they're doing it because it was Broadway, but now it's not back anymore.
And just to be clear, there are good restaurants and good cooks in America.
I'm just going to come right out and say it. Wow, what a bold thank you supposition, Travis. But what I like about this question is there are good restaurants and good cooks like everywhere. What this question is asking is, is America a destination for food, for a specific American cuisine that you can only get in America and like that? I do not know that there's an answer to that, if it does happen, I hope they're listening so I can give them the special public service announcement right now.
Hello, my name is just Imakura. I host a podcast and several other podcasts. We are proud Americans where I'm.
Well, I if you love American food so much. So you're thinking of coming here to eat our hot dogs and hamburgers. Here would be my question to you.
How much do you like hot dogs? I mean, do you really love hot dogs because this is a weird time for us right now. We're trying some different things out in terms of Visa V, managing some different situations that we have going on right now. And I mean, I have you really like hot dogs.
I mean, like you out there really, really, really love hot dogs for this to make any kind of sense for you at all.
But the good news is, do you fly here? You land in probably Atlanta. Head up that Nathan's hot dogs, get back on a plane.
Right. Go fly back on a I get you.
Got it. You got to go.
Bring it just inside suitcase with you and leave it unattended near my home. You never know. Be cool.
Pretty soon your boy out. Please don't do that. It's not. But it's not worth it. Kamala's, you'll get so sick, get on my back if you come here, you'll get so sick. We're going. Let's go. Hey, Gramps, Guess stamp's dotcom grandpa loves stamps, so what you just said, it's like their favorite thing. No, but that's what I'm saying. So they like their gramps because they've always used they've used analogue stamps.
I'm talking about digital stamps. OK, cyber stamps, Siris stamps, stamps.com. Well, you should you should have just said that. Well, but now I'm worried that there are cyber grandpas out there. I am Siba Grandpa.
I hope now I have my digital with as a new character. Yeah. OK, we're stamps.com.
You can print postage on demand and avoid going to the post office. Stamps.com offers U.P.S. services with discounts up to 62 percent and no residual surcharges, no residential surcharges.
Hey, what about a character named Surcharges?
Something that sucks too, dammit.
OK, simply use your computer to print official U.S. postage 24/7 for any letter, any package, any classic mail, anywhere you want to send. Once your mail is ready, just leave it for your mail carrier schedule, pick up or drop it in a mailbox. It's that simple. And with Stamps.com, you get great discounts to five cents of every stamps and up to 62 percent off USPS and UPS shipping rates right now. All right, listeners, get a special offer that involves a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale without any long term commitment.
Just go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in my brother, the Stamps.com. Enter my brother.
Hi, I am Surcharge and I'm Shreiber Grandpa. It's funny and we're in love. All right. And there's nothing you can do to stop that baby.
Eat my digital Werther's. That is good, Trav. It felt good. I took it on. I took that. I took that boy on a walk.
It felt good. Feels good. No one else feels good entering in a promo code when checking out the internet website and getting it right and getting money off your purchase for it. Because here's the thing. Whenever you don't have that code and you see the feel right, punch any code to save money. You know, if you don't know the code, someone somewhere is saving money and you're not. And that's not fair.
Barney is the great equalizer because it's a free browser extension that just finds those frickin codes for you while you're just shopping like normal. There's a little button that says apply coupons.
And if money can find a coupon, it just put people up and the prices go down.
It's they've been advertising this for a while and I have now not an exaggeration.
Save like over one hundred dollars using honey every time I shop.
It is a absolutely grand slam fantastic edition to your web browsing and web shopping experience.
You can get hunting for free it join honey dotcom brother that's join honey H.O. any why not the stupid way pooh bear spells it.
Dotcom OK the way we also it's the way we also spell it.
What do you mean honey. Twenty honey I say to you in NY always it's spelled like that our thing.
I don't like that anyway. Go to join H.O. in e y. Dotcom slash brother, it's money, honey, now, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba guest.
But la la la la la la la la la la la la. I want a mud slide. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.
I want to mine. What about Bob Walker.
Too much credit to podcasts within the podcast detailing the latest and greatest in brand eating.
Rather than go back into the time machine we've got, I've got a trio of new small money squad stories to share with you. The first has is not thematically tied to the other two, but I did want to share it with you. This is about being energy, about why and what's that bang?
Energy is the energy. Drink the guy, new favorites and mouth-watering ultra delicious. This is thanks to KTUL who sent this and Mouth-watering an ultra delicious radical skedaddle.
Oh by Bang Energy.
The name Radical tells the story this new flavors extraordinary. While the skedaddle will literally make your tongue rattle after simply skipping radical skedaddle, you'll feel the vibes beating drums, electric guitars and rock music flowing through your brain's pulsating through your veins.
With the new Radsch ad flavor launch, rock and roll was the goal and cutting edge nutrition was the vision. It's easy is fishing when ambition drives the Michelin ship.
Jack Ooch, Bang Energy CEO, who seems to be, in my humble amateur opinion, I have no new information about Ababa's, seems to be about, hey, just real quick, just I want to get a quick poll of the three people on this call.
You think? Do you think buying energy doesn't know what the word skedaddle means? Yeah, I think that that's fair because they're trying to spin it like it's like rock and roll. Let's not at all what I get when I see, like, maybe a little scamp, his baby Kanada makes your tongue or I go, OK.
Jack also said, we don't make we don't make people want our products. Bang energy makes products people want. Huh. Bank we don't want dinner.
So bang bang energy anyway. That was why maybe that's why I've never heard of bang energy.
OK, me to the future. KFC is 3D bioprinting. Nugget's in Russia.
How. Just want to share everybody with that.
They're the it's a 3D Meat of the Future Printing Thing project aims to create the world's first laboratory, produce chicken nuggets. They'll be as close as possible in both taste and appearance to the original KFC product will be more environmentally friendly to produce than ordinary meat.
Receiving a final product for testing is already being planned for the fall of twenty twenty in Moscow. This season's chicken cells and plant matter to create lab grown.
Chicken nuggets. Where do they get the chicken sells? It doesn't harm chickens, chickens, I think, give them free medical care. Maybe it's because they have so many seniors.
Maybe it's beard trimmings, Naomi, same micro elements as the original product, while excluding various additives that are used in traditional farming and animal husbandry, creating a cleaner final product, cell-based meat products are also more ethical.
The production process does not cause any harm to animals.
KFC remains committed to continuous improvement, animal welfare from the farm through all aspects of our supply chain, including raising, handling, transportation, processing.
Beheading is not listed there, but that's taken at face value.
Yeah, at KFC, we're closely monitoring all the latest trends and innovations are doing our best to keep up with the times by introducing advanced technologies to our restaurant networks.
So this is a race by KFC to produce a more environmentally friendly chicken nugget so we can all.
You know, thank you to Caroline and Biodiversity and that one, and so we can all enjoy, you know, a safer, more sustainable chicken nugget or working together and then to to do that, a lot of work and energies going into it just to make it, you know, a little less of an impact on the planet. I think that's cool.
I do think they're missing an opportunity if they are 3-D printing this stuff, to make it in a way cooler shape, like, for instance, just one very, very, very long rope, like a long like I like a chicken spindle.
I just want to I think it's great that they're putting all this effort into a more sustainable product, more humane products, so we can all eat chicken and, you know, feel feel a little bit better about it.
There's one more story here I want to share from John. Central Florida particular occasions to offer milkshake on Monday with blended chicken dinners. On Monday, only guests can order their chicken tender hands bun shake, which contains vanilla ice cream and a whole chicken tender blended up inside of it fucking in Russia, people are racing against the clock to save our bedraggled planet by coming up with plant based 3D printed chicken tenders in Florida.
They're fucking jamming them into blenders as fast as they can produce them. This is why we need sustainable chicken dinners, is because Petechia is fucking jamming them into blender's right.
I, I consider myself a pretty with it dude. Yeah. Is this a thing people are asking for.
I've never heard of this like I've never heard of like oh man you like that milkshake. Well you haven't really enjoyed it till you've put a chicken tender in it.
Well I'm glad you mentioned that PDCA is chief marketing officer said in this article, our guests love are favorable fresh chicken tenders and our delicious hand SP1 shakes the shake, combines the amazing flavors in both. Oh, boy, you mother fucker.
This reporter who gets bonus points, bonus points to Dave Plotkin for for asking the hard questions is like basically like, is it fucking whack?
Because it sounds whack. It sounds absolutely terrible. The quote that they got that the Dave got back was. We have heard from our guests that they love our ham breaded chicken tenders. And they also love our hands for milkshakes, so a better combination to celebrate National Chicken Tender Day, your mother just you can't. Three ninety nine. That's good. There's going to be chunks like, what are you do that draw that ceiling land, bud?
Yeah, but I hear is it a spoon thing?
Oh, there's another there's another chicken dinner on top.
But who is this? Who is this imaginary person that you have that you have breathe life into this, into the ether, who says, yeah, let me get one of those?
I guess it's going to be either a hamburger or the chicken tender milkshake.
You know, I'll do the chicken tender milkshake and then gets it back to the table and takes a big bite is like, hey, there's a chunkiness.
No, I'm not I'm not a milkshake back. No, I'm talking about just consume ability Graffin.
What is what is the method.
Because this one has to be spoon. Right, because a chunk of of chicken and going up a straw. This is not a straw drink.
I assume it will be placed at your tomb with you like an Egyptian pharaohs. Cats.
Dave writes, The small size of this monstrosity is three ninety nine and the regular size is five twenty nine.
Now, Josslyn ones, they are little editorial. Was there editorializing in there?
No, I'm reading from Dave's story. It's in Orlando. Weekly dotcom find it. The small size of this monstrosity is three ninety nine and the regular size is five twenty nine. And there is no large because there is truly no justice in this world.
Have we heard from Dave before? I feel like we've heard from Dave before.
It's possibly heard from Dave before. I do like I wish there was a large because I like the person is like I'm going to order this and I'm like commit what did you find this?
And maybe some like solid sugar packets or whatever in there. You just swirl it all up, swirl it all up.
Anyway, so much cloud starting to take up so much of your time with it this week. But I just thought that those those stories were really a really nice pairing, almost as nice pairing as hands bound milkshakes and chicken tender.
Hey, real quick, can I tell folks at home about the Maxwell Drive?
Yeah, OK, I'm going to speed through this because I don't want to waste too much of your time, folks. Right foot in the door. This is the straight shit. Here's how it works. You go to maximum fog forward slash joint. You pick a membership level that you're comfortable with five dollars a month. You get access to over two hundred hours of bonus content from every max one show and stretches across all max fun drive. There's tons of stuff on there.
There's video stuff, there's audio stuff. There's stuff you're not going to hear anywhere else. You get that for just five dollars a month, ten dollars a month.
You get the bonus content, you get an enamel pin designed by Megan Wincott. You get to pick it. There's one for every max fun show. You pick your favorite, you're going to get that pin and a membership card that shows you are a member of the Max Fund family for twenty dollars a month.
You get the bonus content, you get the membership card, you get your pick of the enamel pin and you get a max fun themed game night pack with like Max Fund theme cards, max fun theme dice bag and max fun theme dice. There's other levels to pick from as well. And you get to pick yours. You decide which level you're comfortable with.
Maybe you're already a member and you have come to depend more and more on max fun shows for entertainment education or information or whatever. Right. And you're ready to move up to the next level. You can do that at maximum fun together.
Manage. Maybe you are a big fan of Max Von You're already a Max fan member. You want to be able to give more to the shows you love, but you aren't able to move to the next level.
This year we're offering a new thing called boosting. We can go to maximum fontagné manage and you're able to give a little bit more without having to move up to the next level.
Right. So you're able to support the art and artists you love without having to commit to a higher membership level. Now, this won't qualify you for the rewards, but you'll have the reward of knowing that you gave more to the artist you love if you're not able to give it all. We totally understand. Things are really, really uncertain out there. And these are scary times. And if you aren't able to commit yourself to a monthly payment, we totally get it.
You can still support the shows by sharing the link. Maximum fun dogs join telling people why you love Max fine shows using the hashtag Max fun drive, sharing links to episodes, anything like that. And really just listening to our shows is a lot of support. So thank you so much for that. When you become a member or increase your membership, 30 percent of what you are able to give goes to Max Fund to pay their staff to keep the lights on and to fund next year's Max Fund drive.
The rest goes to the shows you listen to when you become a member, upgrade your membership. They will ask you what shows you listen to and that's where your money goes.
So you are directly supporting the art and artists you love.
So one more time, those those euros are maximum fun. Dogs join and maximum Fungai manage.
And if you're thinking about doing either one of those, we would ask that you go ahead and do it now before you forget. And if you're not able to. Totally cool.
That was so easy for me. I didn't have to say or do anything, and I really service I offer this pretty rad, pretty righteous.
I do like I do appreciate it. Please go to Maximum, find out our join. It's a it would be really cool of you to do it.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's what incentive by Adrian Calce. Thank you, Adrian. It's from Yahoo! Answers user Britt Britt who asks. What is some advice you wish someone would have given you before starting your own clothing business? Don't open that chest, it's cast. I don't know how common, but I went I went into great grandmama's attic to look for your business, to look for clothes that I could sell as a consignment business.
And I found robbing your grant just to start from the beach. Oh, no, she's Superdad. She's real dead just now. And I've been in the house for a while.
And I was like, I know great grandma has some old clothes out there that I could sell for consignment. And so I went up there looking for clothes and I found that old Saylor's trunk.
And I said, there's probably some cool old sailor clothes in there. And I opened it up. And first let me say there were some cool old sailor clothes in there, but also a scary sailor ghost.
And so I had to contend with that for a while. And eventually the only way I could get them to leave me alone was I had to make them a silent partner in the business.
And now he gets 50 percent of every T-shirt I sell. And that's really draining my profits, frankly. And my overhead is over my head, if you know what I mean.
Did you think about putting him back in the trunk and dropping the trunk into the. I tried the ocean.
No, I tried, but it it showed right back up in my living room. And then I burned it and it was right back there. And I gave it to a friend and it was right back there. And the only way I could get him to go away is the 50 50 partnership. Right.
And the worst part is sometimes he does show up at the shop and he tries to make like interior decorating decisions. And he's like, I think that the pants rack would do better over there. And I'm like, fuck, Stuart.
But he really does have a good point. I know, but at that point, it's like a thing, you know, like I don't want to give in to him because then it's going to make him feel entitled to come back. And he kind of bosses my employees around and he don't care for it.
I think that I wish somebody would stop me before I cut holes in the back, all the pants to make little holes that people could poop through so they don't have to pull their pants down the toilet.
But those were a hit for a while. For a while back then, I was psyched. Travis, the week that, like people started to post about that on Tic-Tac and they're like, you got to get these butthole pants. And I was like, yes, I've made it. But then I like the following week, nobody came in. I realized I was just sort of like a novelty to them like that. What do you say changed the pants?
Well, it was a I guess they thought it was a joke. I like they, but jokes don't stay funny for very long.
And then it was like not even like a practical thing that people wanted. So then I put patches on them. But the patches, the patches, regular bad paint, they're bad pants with a patch on the back.
And I always joke stayed funny for a long time. So we didn't have to do this every week. Can you imagine how nice it would be if we could just say, like now there's those out there jokes are still funny? Yeah, those are the jokes that go back and listen to them. They're still actually pretty funny. They're just a week old jokes. It's still pretty funny. Go back and listen. Those guys, I bet there are people on Earth who still haven't even heard them.
That's possible. They're funny to them sharing their laughter. You know what I mean?
What about you, Justin, when something you wish that someone had told you before you opened your clothing business? That whole line, uh huh. We've already done coast pirate chest and we did pothole cutouts. You can do it, I tried to get the multi scarf thing going because one scarf that I printed them together to get that Johnny Depp, Steven Tyler.
Look, I did not appreciate three things. One, that look would become unfavorable much quicker than anyone could have possibly imagined to people like to mix and match their various scarves to create a new multi scarf. Look, every day it's an expression of their own personality. I should have appreciated that. And I did. And now the third. The third thing is, comes, you know, you have separate scarves. You enjoy a Long John Silver's chicken tender meal.
Three pieces, two pieces. It doesn't matter. You start getting crumbs in. There is this scarf is all stitched together. If it's several scarves that have been Muslim, that's the ball. I got birds that now you got. But now you have a bird problem.
That's what happened to Brenda Fricker.
Everybody knows she had a one of my multi the chick engines, the. Yeah, the pigeons won't leave her alone.
You get the fries in there, you get some of those Crumbley, you know, they're just fried the fat, like, just to put some batter in there, you know, and the birds love the batter, batter up and then they will pick you up and fly you away.
I wish somebody also had told me that there already was a store called Lid's.
Yeah, because I'm open. I paid all that money for a store at the mall called Lid's and then I made all my shirts that says, like, I'm a happy lid's employee that I mean all the employees wear. Yeah. And then they, you know, I got a I got a very terse email from the lid's owners of the real lid's, and they said, hey, you got it, you can't do that. And so I said, what else am I supposed to call it?
What else am I supposed to call my shoe store? And they're like, your butt? And I was like, yeah, dummy their lids for your feet.
And then and then Griffin took the war to them. Yeah, he I your prior read about in the paper. But Griffin went the lids when when the store was empty and he threw a Molotov cocktail in there, except he messed it up and he didn't do it right. There was somebody in there. He didn't do the fire part right either.
So it's just a broken floor. It was just soda. They made somebody like they didn't come back and cleaned it off. And then they said, you did such a good job cleaning.
Do you want a job here? And now Griffin works at LID'S. Yeah, well, no, he works.
It works at Lid's in the Mornings and then lives in the bags.
Oh, I did I did have to change the name of my story and I did change it to fit lockers because it's like little presents for your feet. I also decided, like, you're locking them up, you know.
You know what I wish I'd known before I started my clothing business? I wish I'd known that people liked airbrushed shirts made to order because I just made a whole bunch of them ahead of time. That's how I'd like Debra and Tommy together forever. And they just said that one thing like a bunch, like a lot. I mean, like six hundred shirts that just that Deborah and Tommy together forever.
And it was it was the letter T and then the letter too and then gather and then it said F and then the number four and then ever. And people pointed out that that look like to together forever or ever. Yeah.
I didn't, I, I didn't even think about that.
Well and also I don't know anyone named Debbie or Tommy and I don't even know if they're together.
You were able to salvage a little bit of that though, when you scratch out everything except Debra. And you did put it in sort of crude caricature of Ray Romano and you did add like eight more A's on the end of Debra. I remember. Hey, gang. Hey, fam, I would wear the fuck out of that shirt.
Picture of a caricature fucking Ray Romano.
And it just says Deborah on top of it. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Lock that up, that man. But here I go again. Fucking lid's to you can't just do that.
Is it weird how the Calvin peeing on stuff took off but Ray Romano screaming Davran never became like a thing you saw in the back of trucks and stuff?
Yeah. All the ones of Ray Romano, very realistically, like photorealistic peeing from the end. You see it from the front. So it's like coming at you.
Yeah. Or Ray Romano. What are you lying down before the cross? Ray Romano peeing on Peter Boyle.
I wish that I remember Romano kneeling at his wife's grave just saying, Debra, but in a sad way. Yeah, a period. And love Debra.
I wish I wish everyone.
What about the ones where there's like a bunch of E's and so much of a so used to say, Debra Debe, I wish before I made my unlicenced pickle wreck hot pants that I had googled what that character looks like.
It has a face that's No.
One that I should have accounted for because right now I have a lot of shorts. The lot with pickles, with hands and feet and no face, and I can't convince people that this pickle there. And also, Justin, you did kind of leave the letters out in the back so that a lot of them went into the crack. So in people where it just looks like it says, yeah, it's not great.
I really wish somebody would tell me to check the kerning when I did establish Griffin's tank top so that it didn't look like I was trying to sell Griffin stank tops, because those went over like a real lead balloon.
I just wish people had told me how litigious Ray Romano was before I did all this branded content.
Yeah. Yes. He's it's really important to him that people thinks his penis and wiener looks a certain way and they don't like it when you make a sticker of him.
You also said he wanted to decide when Debra died and how he was really important to him for the characters like he had a hole.
If they ever get to make another season of Everybody Loves Raymond, most of it is going to be about how Deborah dies and how the character of Ray reacts to it.
Yeah, and let me tell you, he let me in on it. It's gruesome. Yeah, it is.
That sort of Damocles has been swinging over. Patricia Heaton said for some time now, and it's probably why she turned out the way she did.
Well, Ray told me that he was kind of envisioning a spinoff series in which Ray became a mentalist like. Yeah, like crime solver. And there needed to be something that fueled him into that. And they did involve Debra's gruesome grief.
What if what if instead the series he had been the lead suspect. He had to find the person that did it and it was called Everybody Hunt.
Raymond has all the different government agencies working together to bring down Raymond or everybody leaves office or tell us where your brother is. Oh, yeah.
It's led by his brother for reasons that are clear and by his stepfather for reasons that are not.
Everybody loves Raymond's blood because within it lies the pathogen that will cure the world's ills.
Yeah, but a bearded outdoorsman, Joel has to lead his charge, Ray Romano, through a zombie infested wasteland because Ray Romano's blood may be the only hope humanity has for creating a vaccine to the to the zombie.
And then I heard that in the fourth season of Everybody Loves Raymond, it was basically going to be like no one had been pregnant for a long time. But now Ramona was pregnant and they were going to call it Children of Ray.
And I was like, and then it just seemed like he was just kind of doing what different like postapocalyptic things. There was one was called Ray Box or as like, Ray's in that box. Don't look in that box. Did you see did you see twenty eight days later.
Thank you so much for the walking, Deb. So I go walking down the white trash, Travis burst into the doorway, you know, Deb, the walking dead broke.
But what about the day after Ramano? Yeah, absolutely. OK, absolutely.
OK, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We very much appreciate it. One more quick pitch.
The Max fundraises, another Ray Romano for another moment that I just came up with that is going to do it for us. But the Max Fund drive will keep on going for a little bit longer. You're running out of time there to support that Shezi love maximum brung for join is the address to do that.
I remember a five dollar pledge gets you the all the bonus content, which is great. Ten dollar pledge.
You get the the enamel pin from whatever show that you choose at twenty dollars a month if you can pledge that cash. We appreciate that. And we're going to send you a max fun game pack with like dice and cards and stuff like that. Plus the pin and the, the bonus content. There's a beautiful mug. Thirty five dollars a month.
There's just a lot of there's a lot of great stuff.
But the real the real thing is supporting the shows that you love. And if you can do it, we know it's a weird time, but if you can do that, it it it really would mean the world to us. And it would we just really appreciate anything you can give.
So maximum fun dog for join. We appreciate those of you who are already donating so much. Thank you.
We know it's it's not easy and it really it really does make our lives possible.
So thank you to John Rodrik in the long winters for these for a theme song. It's a departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed, an album that makes my life possible because I need that rock and roll in my veins and gravity.
And finally, I do have a final Yahoo! This one standing by and I can't thank you. It's Yahoo! Answered another anonymous Yahoo! Answers user. This one is this one is sent in by Bernd.
A bear who asks. How was the Golden Girls filmed in front of a live studio audience if it was filmed in a house back to that girl, Travis?
I'm Griffin. McIlroy has been my brother. My brother may kiss your dad square on the lips. Maximum fun dog comedy and culture, artist owned, audience supported.