234 - Diane Steele: The Q&A
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark- 1,797 views
- 6 Aug 2020
Karen and Georgia answer your summertime questions in quarantine.
This is exactly right. I will go to my favorite murder, not high casts you, I heard of it, it's these two girls. I don't really know what they do.
It just seems crazy good. And they think they are. How do they think they are?
This is a special episode. We're going to do a Q&A.
Are you getting like a summertime vibe from us because it's real? Yeah, it's yeah. So it's it feels like lazy days of summer, like when we thought, oh yeah, we haven't done a Q&A, like in a very maybe in a year. And then when I realized that was an option, it was as if I was freed out of the last day of school onto summer vacation. That's what it felt like for some reason.
Q And it makes me almost more nervous than a regular episode, because you have to go back to all your improv skills that you got at the Groundlings level one from the two level one classes I've taken before.
True story.
Yeah, it's not easy. It's not easy. It's not I don't like not being prepared, but then I react to the questions that Jay sent us from the faculty. They're really fun, so I'm feeling OK about it.
Of course, these are people that want to they have good ideas. They think things through. A lot of them are professionals in probers improv.
Did I ever tell you about my friend Lynn Shawcross, the great Canadian stand up comedian and Cocroft? And she had the greatest story where she took a class, I think it was at the Groundlings and she like got in trouble, quote unquote, because the only thing she could think of is an action to do on stage is fold towels. So no matter what was happening, she would just be standing up. She would just stand there flipping her hands like that and then putting a towel in a show.
And the teacher when was in a restaurant, you got to do something. Now, that really does work in any setting, but I would love to know what my like under the gun panic action would be of like, nothing.
Well, I can tell you actually, because I did take I got tricked into taking an improv class once I went with my friend and in my mind I was like, I'll just audit and sit in the back. And then the teacher, the great Chris Bowen's improv teacher from Second City, he was like, no auditing. You have to get in. It's always like, it's my nightmare. I mean, control freak extraordinaire.
I was my nightmare, too, because it's like all all you do all your life is don't act stupid, don't act stupid, stupid language and a class act stupid.
It's the hard the idea that well it's it's act according to what's actually happening as opposed to not acting stupid, which is why I'm playing the fucking up shows and.
Oh my God. So I'm sure they're the nerdiest. It's like they're trying to break you emotionally before you go into starting a scene like Zip's EPS up is is soul crushing experience. OK, so you have to go. You could not it more so then the first I was really mad and I felt like one of those people that goes with the friend to the cult meeting and then gets into totally indoctrinated into the cult. But the first scene I was in, I was like, I think my panic action is flipping hamburgers because I stood there.
That was what I started with. And then the guy walked into the scene from the, like, stage left.
And then as he walked in and started asking me questions, I slowly turned my back to a hamburger maker that doesn't want to go.
You know, Chris Burns is like Karen. Karen, what do you do?
You have to acknowledge that a person is on stage with you was just like, oh, I thought that would be funny if I turn my back.
But you can't do that.
I guess mine would be stirring the pot or something. Sure. But that could look pornographic if you really or like. You're striking ona there's so many options. Yeah. In in the improv world.
What's, what's going, what's up. What's up with you. I don't know why I'm reading a really good book I want to talk about.
OK, is it too early to get into books. Hell no. Do you want to restart the book club. Do you, do you want to do the one off book club? This is the book club meeting right now. If you the only people that get to come to this book club right now are the ones who by chance already read whatever book George is about to talk. That's right. We're never going to talk about it again. This is the one and only you're never going to be required or make cheese next to fucking or make small talk to people you don't actually know.
I would never ask that of, you know. You know that. So I'm listening to this book called The Unquiet Dead by Ousman is a heinous crime. I'm sure I said that wrong. It is gorgeous. It's detective. Kind of who done it? That's like the basics of it, but it takes place in Canada and they are trying to solve the death of this person. Did he kill himself to get killed?
But the person turns out to be a war criminal from the Bosnian war. And so I didn't know anything about. And so this book is like super, what's it called? Historical fiction. So he's telling me all these things about Sarajevo, the Sarajevo and the Bosnian war from the 90s that I had no idea that it's so beautifully like heart wrenching, written, and it's incredible. I'm like obsessed with it. And it's like a true crime book. But also, you learn something.
Yes. That sounds really good. I love it. I guess there's a whole slew of like this detective.
Well, I like that they're tricking you into learning, you know, the best kind of book. And then to counteract that, I just watch the Go Go's last night documentary. I haven't seen it yet. I was supposed to watch it with my friend Luke, Vivienne Westwood number one fan, Luke Womack. And then but OK, go ahead, because I'll tell you, I got into something else accidentally. But you tell me about that.
No, it was just really fun and great. And I didn't realize, like, I don't think I was old enough to know the enormity of what they did. And they were the first. And it's fun. It's a really fun documentary. That's right. Because when they came out, you would have been one. But I was 11. It was right up my I mean, they oh, the go go. Amazing. Number one, when that beating the beat came out, me and I told the story on Josh Meyer's podcast, The Five Hundred.
But because we covered this album, right, I sat in my friend Nesha Benedetti, who she was a year younger than me, and we did carpool together. And sometimes I go to their house after school. And she had gotten that album and we put it she put it on and then we just sat there staring at the album cover and it was like a girl band. All girls singing girl songs about working songs, play their own instruments and then like old saying about how they got band so quickly and out on tour and how could we drain them.
And like it was, it's a really good fun. And I didn't realize how fucking punk they were before that. That's how they started it sartorially. Saurabh, it's a really fun localizes. I was I really meant to watch that, but accidentally stumbled upon Love on the Spectrum, which is series on Netflix. Did you watch it? No, but I know I want to. You have to. It is so good. It's Australian. So we already love Australians and their whole chill vibe.
Yeah. So it's Australian adults who are on the spectrum in some way or have Asperger's or autism and it's them trying to date and they talk about how the social aspect of things is already hard. And so then they have like dating coaches and stuff and people that work specifically with people on the spectrum. It's the best. It's hilarious. It's heartwarming. The you love these people so much. And you're like the entire time I was sitting for, like, full body clench because I was so nervous for people as they were like, it's just a beautiful, beautiful thing to watch.
It helps you at all with, like past relationships where you're like, oh, that's what was going on. It wasn't like, you know, how we're we're so easy. Like, he doesn't like me and, you know, he can't stand and then later come to realize what was really going on that wasn't about you, you know, completely have those exes. Absolutely. You know, it it actually helped me with is this concept, because just dating in general is so it feels to me at this point in life.
So, like, that's for the kids. And I wouldn't really it's just like not my personality to, you know, can be like my five favorite things are this.
I can't it's so difficult to envision. And that's basically what they walk through. And then you it's all just about being willing to be vulnerable and also to keep boundaries where you're just like it's just talking. You can figure out if you like someone as you go, you don't have to like. Yeah. To qualify and they don't have to qualify.
You're just hanging out. The stakes aren't as high as you think they are, especially when you're young. And it's like, you know, every relationship, every day, every text has so much importance to it, which it really doesn't.
It doesn't at all. And it's all kind of like it's all part of one big story, as opposed to looking at it like, oh, this is this thing that's going to deliver me from whatever where it's like, oh, no, no, it can't you can't approach it that way. But also just these people, the people that they chose to be on the series are such compelling individuals and you love them and you root for them and it's just like it feels good.
I watch there's a new Marilyn Manson. So there's a new there's a new Charles Manson documentary. If that passenger does as a person is supposed to be some sort of a true crime is supposed to be interested, but I've never really been to Charleston. We've already talked about him. But this fucking documentary. It's on Hulu. It's called Truth and Lies the Family. And it's I didn't it's really I didn't care about him. I had no interest in that whole story.
This one is actually really fascinating and tells you about his show, about him as a child that you didn't know. So dabao, it's really dark and well done. So if you're interested in that, I mean, even this is a duet, which I'm surprised.
It's really cool. Yeah, but the old photos of him and people who knew him talking to me.
So you're basically saying you're pro Charles Manson? No, no. I'm Marilyn Manson. Got it. Got it. Got it. That's right. We've always been pro Marilyn. OK, there's another show that I happened upon on Netflix. I've been spending my time very wisely lately. It's called Skin Decision. And it's all it's basically like feel good plastic surgery, reality TV.
You have to watch it. It's so it's not like I watched that amazing show watch. It's it's equal opposite boccie. So it's so it's a plastic surgeon, female poxes surgeon, female nurse, obstetrician who is she often talks about. She's like the number one injectables expert is amazing. And then it's the people come in and they want things. It's not all quote unquote superficial. It's like the first woman. There's somebody that has really, really bad cystic acne scars.
There's someone who had a bunch of gunshot wounds from from surviving a really terrible traumatic crime. Like it's they have all these different people than there's a woman who like that got herself sober and and stop smoking. And she's like a beach lady.
And yeah, they do these like they decide if it's going to be plastic surgery or if they can just do it with nonsurgical, which they can do so much with nonsurgical. Now, it's OK. They change the way your face is shaped. Yes. By like shooting sugar threads into under your skin. The threading. It's fascinating. It is. I haven't done that yet. And I, I mean, I probably won't. I've done so I've done Botox and I've done filler and I'm a big fan of it.
If it makes you feel better about yourself. Yeah. Why the fuck not absolutely orbit and you are mentally healthy and you're just trying to give yourself a boost. Yeah. Who cares. It's nobody's business.
Well, and so it's, it's a common thing and it's so many people do it and yeah it is that thing of like it's almost like I think this happens to women a lot. It's almost like you're you think you're being forced to decide whether you're like an on camera person or an off camera person.
And if you're an off camera person, you're just not supposed to care about what you look like.
And it's like it should be you should just always be aiming whatever it is for what feels right and good to you, that's all. There's nothing except yourself.
You are blah, blah, blah. And it's like, well, I am, but also this fifteen minute procedure. So needles will make me feel even better about who I am. Totally.
What's the long view of that kind of scratch. Jesus I I'm but there was one woman who, who came on and she, it was like that thing where she was trying to say I in no way want like plastic quote unquote plastic surgery. No one thinks that. Yeah. Yeah. But then she had the like hereditary kind of waddle on her neck that was driving her crazy and making her feel terrible. And then when she got the procedure, like the difference was insane.
Yes, it was amazing. OK, I had such a satisfying show.
It's called Skin Decision and it's just one of the it's such it's smartly produced reality because it's about a superficial thing. And then they bring it to people who it makes a huge difference in their life in some way.
And it's really beautiful. It's beautiful. And then these women are beautiful that do it. And they're so talented and smart and it's just cool.
OK, I'm into it. I'm there. It feels there and I'll probably be on it next season. What do you do know?
I'm looking at it.
Oh, there's something else I want to tell you about that I've just bought, like, some weird shit. I'm sure he.
But OK, there's this label called Terror and they put out a lot of like, do you mind if I, like, slightly dry my hair as you tell me the story.
They released your movie soundtracks on vinyl. So like movies you watched as a kid and weird horror movies and shit. So. They released an album, Unsolved Mysteries Music, so it'll be like it'll be like they have us they had a whole song for Bigfoot music, they had a whole song for alien invasions. There's a whole song that they always use for fucking Loch Ness Monster.
It's all this creepy old 80s music, the beginning sound music at the end of this episode. And it's just like this weird background music you have in your house and obsessed with it is the Loch Ness Monster music.
Does it have a little bit of bagpipes, just like a touch of distant bagpipes?
Bebetter is all I'm saying is I want to say, but it's an actual music from Unsolved Mysteries that they got the rights to amazing territory. How cool is that? That's the best. Visit that website. OK, so I got this tweet the other day and it was two days ago from Lily Lynn. She's at Epicures on Twitter. She said, Karen, you've probably gotten this recommendation before. But just in case, check out Cardinal. It's a Canadian procedural dark and beautiful.
So I go on there because it was it's apparently my job to watch every television show ever made now.
And it's I think it's I think it ended up being on Hulu or Amazon.
I can't remember. But anyway, it's called Cardinal. If you liked the killing, did you watch the show? Do you remember the guy that played the mayor? He's kind of like he had dark hair, short, and he was super cute. Face a little older now. OK, so that's perfect. That guy, he's the lead in Cardinal. It's so good. What's it about? About like cardinals.
Yeah, he's a cardinals. He's a big red bird and he's too proud and he's going to get his comeuppance. He is a detective and his French Canadian part new partner is a young woman who is actually secretly investigating him because they think he might be a corrupt cop. And they basically he had been working on a missing young woman case, a missing indigenous young woman case, and they never found her. And then it's twelve years later and they find her body in the ice and that begins a new investigation.
And it's so sometimes, and I'm sorry to tell you this, Canada, but every once in a while, a show will come on and I'll say this was made in Canada. It's just has a feel. And of course, you know, when they say, I'm so sorry that it was made in Canada. Sure.
Cardinal is a police procedural that could compete with any that you love that's on TV right now. Its actors are great. This this season, one storyline was like, unbelievable. And there's three seasons. And that guy is a is I should it why don't I look at people's names up beforehand? Because usually now though I do actually. But this guy, is it because he was like the one of the main people in the killing. You've seen him tons of stuff.
You know, he's my best friend. Again, I know you've always loved him. You wrote him that letter. You know who I'm talking about. It's of Billy Campbell is his name. Now, he you know him from such movie and movies and TV movies as The Rocketeer, the Jaylo film. Enough O8 here. Sorry. Oh, this guy, he he kind of looks like a model, but he also looks worried here.
The worry model, the best modeling emotion model. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't have a beard in the killing. He's, he's like, he looks like an ad guy.
He looks like an old guys. I totally know. She looks like a high school student that got put through a weird machine. They are like what happened here. You see I'm eighteen and he makes sure she needs to go on skin fix or no, no, no. He's like beautifully salt and pepper aage. But he just has like a almost like this is not a compliment.
No, no, no. I find this man, of course, very he's like a standard leading man. He's, of course, very attractive. But he also a little bit looks like Jughead.
And I'm not trying to be I'm not trying to nag him. I'm just trying to describe for people who are trying to think of who this is.
Billy, comments like that. Well, someone commented on a tweet that I wrote this. I do not mean this in a negative way, but, you know, there's a hippo in my animal crossing that looks like you. I would never I would shut that laptop and never open it again. I was fine with it, know, like we're going to do it just like I guess I could see that they got big eyes and all this did it did the hippo have a short black bob?
I didn't see it taking a spokesperson for it. It's really funny. Any tweet that starts, don't take this the wrong way. I'm like a mute, then black, then report a report to the CIA.
Speaking of reporting to the CIA, we do exactly right. Well, you know how our because basically our podcast network is a front for the CIA. Right. So it's the perfect cover. Good ideas, the perfect cover. No, no, no, no, no. So let's do a quick rundown of what you can find this week on the exactly right network. Beautiful. Kick it off. Sure. OK, we have the worst one is covering the unsolved 1998 murder of Rita Hester, who was an active member of the transgender community whose death inspired Transgender Remembrance Day.
So that's a really important episode. Cool. That's very cool. This podcast Will Kill You is doing Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever with just so many bananas, has Franchesca Ramsey on. She's from TV's Decoded and The Nightly Show. She's hilarious. And Motley Fool. Stephen, you and Sarah on the perkiest Sterling Tropp, Kim Davis and I just donated money to him and his band.
Yeah, he goes around the country trapping cats and like, helping cat communities around the US.
Cat's name, a little white one that we just adopted. The latest musette that doesn't belong. Giving you all my money. Oh, my God. I love you the best.
Oh, yeah. We've we've hung out before in person whenever he comes for he's the sweetest guy here and Nathan are just like the coolest dudes yet they have Nathan the cat lady in the cat lady.
I love it all. This is important in their new series called Florida's Missing and Murder. And it's going to be about two murdered women, both members of Jacksonville's LGBT community. It's an important season that they're coming up. I to hear that. Please subscribe, subscribe comments. What is it? Yeah, you were right. All three. And then this week's No. Starring Bajur Weininger has the great Chris Fairbanks on it. Chris was like over the moon.
After he did that. He said he had the best time.
I like that those two people are good people. That's a real great combination of people and of hair. Those are two. Oh, yeah. That's a hair that really should meet and greet each aggressively. Good hair. Yeah. Oh. Also, just as an update for the past almost two months, I would say we've been we had our MFM kind of logo pin that's black and white, that's been for sale and all the proceeds are going to beam, which is the black emotional and mental health collective.
And you guys, we have raised you guys have raised seventeen thousand five hundred dollars for Beam. So thank you so much for all of those purchases and all that support. It's we're super excited to be able to give them such a nice big check.
It's really exciting. Thank you guys so much for supporting them and for supporting us, supporting other people. It's really supportive. We're going to continue or to donate too soon. So there's going to be more pins for sale. Yeah. Also in the fans there, the video this week is the video of Karen and Steven giving me my birthday presents from last week so you can actually see me cry. Is it crying if the tears don't spill out of your eyes?
No, that's Real Housewives of Orange County from Orange County.
You know, I can't right now.
You just need tell events that you need one of those diamonds. It takes up the whole lower half of your finger and you can cry by going like that and getting your diamond into the in the desert.
So then they spill over to be a real cry. I mean, very there's not a ton of real crying in media these days.
I think a lot of it is glycerin. I think a lot of it is hot pepper to the right water right before it rolls some menthol. Oh, I want to mention it for some reason. We haven't talked about the new season of Search Party Season three, a search party that came out a month ago because I wanted to give a shout out. It's really good. It's another great season this season. There's a lawyer on it played by a woman named Shillitoe Grant.
And she this character is so incredible and she is so funny. She's like kind of like a Cardassian acting type of lawyer.
It's like Emmy worthy or she's just incredible. Season three, and I mean, you should just bench the whole fucking show. It's so good. Such is the best. And this season is like everyone plays their character so well. It's like every single cast member is fucking bringing everything they have to it. I love it so much. That's great. It was good, Rick. You should definitely watch it for me because I've run out of everything on Netflix.
I think I've honestly watched I was watching a show about the universe at four o'clock this morning. Please, you can't know I.
I know it's all lies. There's nothing to know. It's all a simulation. Here's what's interesting, though, because I do remember in college I got really drunk at a party one time my sister got mad at me because I kept saying, is it our moon or is it everybody's moon?
And no one had the right question. And I was in person.
Everyone's like, what? I'm like, you're also ignorant here. It's just a rumor that everyone. No, and honestly, no. I think people are actually getting mad because they didn't know the answer. So it's like I'll stop yelling it when you tell me the answer. So anyway, I feel like that's one of the conversations that I like, like true crime. If I had heard you talking about it across party and know you have to run over like that's a great question.
You this is we have to find out. Annunzio Pre Internet, we would have had to find out like going to the library or whatever it is. Here's what I learned last night that was actually genuinely like I sat up and watched it. Here's how we got the moon back when the earth was like still cooling or whatever. An asteroid hit the earth. The earth. Yeah.
And actually, like, in one day it spun it around. It was a big shape for a little bit. And then some of the debris that came off the earth was cool enough. But you shouldn't. We're just watching the beginning credits to 3rd Rock from the Sun. It did look exactly like it, but essentially that that's I think that's what they said. It either got knocked off the asteroid. No, it was a piece of the earth.
It got knocked off. I think that's what it was.
And it was a moon. Doctors, please comment and tell us. What's important is that I was paying close attention and I took the time to convey non information to you. I thought I had the answer. It's the reason I was telling this whole story. It was because I'm pretty sure it was part of Earth that then just was part of the debris, that then everything else was too weak and got knocked out of orbit. And then it was just the moon and the earth.
Millions of years. I want it. That's what the CIA won.
But really, I fell for it. Or and fucking John Lithgow vehicle. Is it John Lithgow? It was it was John Lithgow. Kristen Johnson. And it does a cute little Olivia. That's not McCarthy's show, but it is. It was a really cute show. Trapster Stewart. French. French Stewart. Yeah, well done. Well done. That's why you can't miss the fourth family member of aliens. That's right. I think the thing that bothered me about that show is that I don't like aliens at all.
And then that idea of like, I don't want to watch people act like aliens, it felt kind of felt like an improv class exercise. OK, they were of you a different they were all in an improv team. They to make a show out of it, but they were changing curtains on it, which is like she's the best. It was a cast of superstars, hands down. I'm not arguing the performances made it happen.
I want to fight about it. OK, we talk really quickly about your chair and how loud it is. It's getting louder. I know. I know. I'm actually getting louder and louder through, like the audience, OK?
I think I just need to burn it in the backyard. It's a rickety wooden chair. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe we need to get sponsored by, like, a really nice office furniture company.
I wish Office Depot is still open, even though you hear it. Yeah, it has been getting a little louder for sure. Guys, stop attacking me. First of all, what's unfair about this is that I did never not funny. Jimmy Pardo and Matt Belnap guess. And someone goes, does somebody have one of those ball clacking things on there? And then I was like, oh, wait, sorry, that's me. When I get like, I get an idea and I start started around in my seat.
Let's get you. I feel like we can use the exactly right money car.
What do we have a money bank. You the exactly right. What do they call petty cash to buy you a nice chair. Good idea. I'm going to submit a form to Danielle and see what you need.
A nice chair, Steven. I actually do need a new officer because it's like one side.
Guys, let's get those. Ones that are like aerodynamic and they're black net and they're like really high back, and then we'll put one of those cabdriver beads things down the back that we stay for.
I just need one of those, like had they call them husband loungers, that could be those that have the armrest. Sure do. Like my grandma used to read her fucking Diane Steele novel. Danielle Steele, thank you. Yes. No, no, Diane, she's just. Oh, she was recipe books mostly for me. And my sister got those for Christmas. One year, different colors, but same thing. And we carried them around. They were so comfortable and fun.
Yes. OK, I'm getting one. You could lean anywhere and watch TV or like, you know, make that place your going. Remember this like they have the clip boards, but like that there would be like a bead pillow padding underneath them. Yes. Right on the board. But let's put it right so it would shape to your right shape. To your lap. Right. So you really clipboard anywhere. Take coloring your hair at home to the next level with Madison Reed, you deserve gorgeous professional hair color delivered to your door, starting at just 22 dollars.
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Bonanos, an innocent man, gets hit by a flying pickle bananas. A Texas woman wakes up with a British accent, bananas, a duck, enters a pub, drinks a beer and fights a dog. I'm Kurt Braunohler and I am Bananas.
I'm Scotty Landis and I am bananas. On each episode of the world famous Bananas podcast, Scotty and I serve you a steaming hot pile of the silliest news stories from around the world.
It's a lighthearted look at our big stupid planet. And we invite you to laugh with us and add us as we try to make sense of it all.
But wait, there's more. We have guests, glorious, talented, hilarious guests who give bananas its pizzazz.
I might get sued from here to kingdom come for saying this, but the Bananas podcast has more pizzazz than any other podcast since 1992 and I don't care who knows it.
So whether you're bored at work or in your car, bored at home or buying boards at a lumber yard, it's time to stuff your ears with bananas. New episodes of Banana Slip on to Apple Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever you listen every Tuesday to put down your tacos and pick up our bananas.
Now with more pizzazz, bananas. Should we do some Q&A, let's do Q&A, that's so fun. So in our example, we had a bunch of people, we just said, ask those questions. Do you want to go first or first?
Let me look. But this is a good kickoff because we always love talking about food and it's easy to talk about easy, fun. This is a good icebreaker.
Yeah, some fun and easy. Some of mine are interesting. All right. I think we have a really good mix. I think everyone did a great job. Hello, dear friends. I have never met Smiley Face with punctuation. Do you like the chips on sandwich combo? And if so, what combo do you like? I have two, which I love. They're asking a question and aren't giving their own answer.
Good job. Great baloney with Doritos would never even considered it. I have as much time like cool ranch. I'd say not that got to be Nacho. OK, because you need a strong bologna's so medium to cool ranch and should just be like a little bit of salad dressing on there. Yeah right. But that's a strong opinion. So I basically said no, that's wrong about it. Entirely conceptual idea. Hi. Hi. If you want to do it, it's like to be friends with me or Turkey with ruffled chip.
Absolutely. That's it. Great. Those are great. Mine is. Can I finish it. Yes. Some people call this hillbilly lettuce and then they. Thank you for everything. Rachel from Cincinnati. Rachel from Cincinnati. Rachel. Well done. Strong, solid and good question.
Ice breaker, conversational. It's genuinely interesting. Plus, my ear is watering. George, I guess you can ask this on a date.
This is your date question, and I'm going to have it written on a piece of paper next to me. And I'll say it real fast, right when we sit down at the table. So it's as awkward as possible.
Do you like food and Doritos and then just start crying?
There was a moment where the the mike, who is one of the great, great human beings on this planet, who one of the people you follow in the story. He goes on a date with this girl and he's asking her questions like he had practice and he's doing great. He's really doing great.
They both on the spectrum like the people who they are because they they meet at a like a speed dating thing for people. So she suddenly just kind of shuts down and starts staring around and he's like or any like asks another question that she has to excuse me and then just gets up and then is like as she's walking away, she tells like you can hear her tell the producer, I can't, I'm having anxiety, I can't.
And I, I was just like, oh my God, that's so short to mid conversation. You're like, oh, sorry, this just peaked for me and I have to go.
I have to go. I can't just remind this one word you use reminded me of this specific thing in my childhood that just made me real sad. And now I can't fucking do this anymore. And as I as it's happening to me, I am highly conscious of how I'm leaving this moment with you.
And I know you can work on it, but I just need to get out of here. Let me get up here and I know it's not allowed and I know I'm in trouble and I know that I'm bad. I'm bad and bad about. I'll never leave the house again. Goodbye. OK, ok.
Well it's know sandwiches with salt and vinegar chips. Oh that is my lucky.
Oh I love it so much. That's no that sounds perfect. What kind of bread are you putting that on.
Well I'm talking about like a jersey mix or like a deli sandwich, you know, like a holy hoagie deli sandwich style with fucking sort of vinegar chips.
Yes. Right. Yeah, yeah.
That sounds vinegar chips are my favorite fucking chips, but if you eat like fifty, you're ruined your entire room.
You're putting yourself punished. Well, first of all, this makes me think of my friend Dawn Fraser, who used to put her French fries on her Big Mac, which I never thought of doing, and I watched her do it. And I think she said something along the lines of like, learn, let me teach you how to live type of thing.
She didn't do it. I don't know, because I like having a side of things. And they're also good on their own. You don't need them together. But she had like a nice crunch you wouldn't get just like I was sorry.
What do the salt and vinegar chips add? A nice layer crunch. Have you ever had ice, an ice cream sundae, which is salty potato chips on top? No, that is good. I thought you had that cookie jar. Have you really? I mean, next week there was this like in Brooklyn. There was this like old school diner, like cutesy sundae shop. And they would crush potato chips on top of this incredible hot fudge, hot fudge sundae saltimbocca playing potato chips on top.
That is that's epic right there.
My mouth is water, my mouth. And I think partially it's even just talking about salt vinegar. Chips makes my mouth water almost defensively. I think I would have to say, though, for a chip combo situation, I'm so plain. I just love a turkey sandwich that I pick her suggestion, which is Turkey with a ruffle deli sandwich. Ruffles are extra salty. So the chip salt is happening, but then they're going to bring some salt to the rest of the sandwich.
They're that salty. And how about a nice club sandwich with barbecue potato chips?
I feel like club sandwiches are already too spiky crunchy in of themselves. It's too much going on already. You need the softness of like a nice shredded up deli, turkey, some like Swiss in there, and then boom, a big fat ruffle. And you know what? I'm here for the rest of that. And of course, a nice dill pickle on there. But you could also get a ruffle, have your head cheddar and sour cream ruffles.
Yeah, they're like they're like I always look at them and go like, no, don't did. That's just crazy style. You want those on there? I'm just going to parties where they would have gone sour cream and I did. I miss it so much. At the end of the night, that bowl of ruffles where 17 left in there, also a beer on them and eight people's fingerprints all over them back one when fingerprints wouldn't kill you. But you're starving because your friends don't know how to throw a party or they order six pizzas.
Well, let me see. You have to be there for the first two hours to get pizza, right? Exactly. All right. So great job, Rachel. Should food one or should I change the next one? Because I can't. My mouth will be too full of spit. That's murder panels. I hope you're all doing well. I was wondering, would you feel comfortable talking again when if things opened back up? Love, love you all.
Thank you for all you do. Chelsea are Chelsea are my answers. Yes. Yeah. It's just it's so mysterious as to when that could be and what it would look like when it does happen. But who knows.
I think we're not going to be the first wave or the second wave of people doing things again.
I feel like we'll be ninth wave. So yeah, I'm going to be it's the double Dutch of touring. We're like, yeah, keep going. Refuse to be the people that on the evening news and fucking Saint Louis, we're going like these two podcasters got everyone in the fucking theater sick because they decided it would be a great idea to have a live show. It it's I would love to be so selfish to be like it'll be fine. We'll be fine.
But then if it's not, that's the worst. So so yeah. So the answer then is yes. In twenty, twenty eight seasons. I don't care. I think the soonest we would talk and is probably depending on how things go, Paul's going to balls out for sure this fall. Winter is going to be out because some people get sick again. So it seems if you guys are where everyone raise their masks and your parents don't act like it's fucking fake thing and everyone behaves the maybe by next summer if things are going well, we would start slowly to worry.
That's the dream. That's that's right. That's the dream. We know that's a good that's the plan. Just put my hand into a thing of hand lotion as if we're not doing something right now. I'm on right now. Yeah, dude. On your creaky old chair. I get my things. Lou, come on. It's a very dry room, both water and I are creeky, what is the ceiling at the end of the block, I should say, can I chair?
I like this one normally. Normally, I don't want to talk about stuff like this because it's conceptual and boring. It's like talking about your dreams. But this is something I think about obsessively. And it's this and this is from Lemann's Sublime. And they ask if you could have exactly one five minute conversation with your pets. What would you talk about?
Oh, my God. Who would I pick? You go do that one. Yes, 100 percent. Because I actually do ask them this all the time. I want to know where they were born from, how quickly their parents bailed on them. The thing I loved about Georges. Did you have brothers and sisters? I just try to picture these dogs because I like I think both Frank and George were strays. So, yeah, they like George was found almost starving with mange running around the streets of Hemet, California.
So I'm always like, what happened? Because she looks like she's she looks like she has fancy dog in her.
So it's like, did you're like did your pedigree mother have an affair or do you have some stray? Was it a lady and the tramp situation. And then how long were you alone and.
And like what? Being married.
Don't you think it's better now that you have your own room, your own mattress, Caspar mattress, your podcasting mattress, you jerks is better than the streets. Stop eating food off the counter. I just want to know their life story from a young age and love that.
I would like to know news as well. And I'm thinking like I already talked with and I'm pretty sure we're communicating on the same level. So I don't know. But maybe I just want to be like I want to communicate or that she is safe. And just because I love the other cats doesn't mean she's going to die. And, you know, and I tell her how I never hurt her fucking leg. So I'm walking towards her. She doesn't need to freak out and run away.
I will never hurt her. I would like, lay down in front of her. Yeah. Just kind of calm her and figure out why she's so, so mean and angry.
Could it be that her mouth is so small, so tiny. She's mad about it. It could be like just because I pet God doesn't mean there's less pets for her. But they don't it doesn't exist in my life, you know, and like she does. And also shouldn't be so hard when she's angry or whatever she wants to say to me, I'll listen. Do you listen with an open heart and open ears?
Yeah, but I think that's true. It's not clear that she's me like there was at one time. You walk toward me kind of fast.
I'd like an apology for that one time I stood underneath you when you accidentally stepped on my tail. Now I don't trust you anymore. It's been for eleven years.
You did a really good job.
OK, this one says, Do you ever miss recording in The Coddler in George's apartment? I used to pretend I was drinking and wine and sitting on a couch with you when I was listening back in the early days. Oh, that's Anna from Michigan, my Hannah Montana question. I actually just writing a little essay about that and how much everything has changed since my first departmentally recording. And then the pod laughed and then the office that doesn't exist basically anymore.
And how I really loved it felt like this cozy cave that we used to record, you know, and I enjoy it. Yeah, it was great. It was great.
No, I definitely miss the pod left. I have to say, though, the one I miss the most is the first apartment. It was just so kind of it was like watching it all become real in front of our eyes. There was a very fascinating experience. Like once we were into month four and we were it was that they were both realizing people were paying attention. Yeah. You know, I honestly just thought we were going to be doing this and, like, just be entertaining, too.
So then it was kind of like as things would kick up, I just remember staring at that, like the dresser that your TV was on or like, you know, looking at you, but also looking at the sliding glass door behind your head. And it was like, you know, you have this any listeners or some kind of big news every week.
There was like a new like, did you see this? Did you? Personal lessons, did you say it was yeah, it was surreal and it was yeah, it was doing it from a rent controlled little apartment in Hollywood. There's no air conditioning, no air conditioning.
The neighbors were grilling outside of my window, essentially.
And there was the guy that played the video game that you could hear about him. No, no stranger. Yes. And then sometimes we looked at the tennis courts later do tennis. Julian Mikola playing tennis. Yeah, that's right. Was our neighbor. Oh, yeah. I feel like I'm kind of bummed because I like my house. I was really hoping that this house and there would be like a perfect spot that I could go to because I think you love going into the office.
Well, it was just so fun to have an office. It was just like and also I knew the sound would be great, that there wouldn't be trains, planes or automobiles to worry about, you know, and I just like the fact that it matched the reality of where you were that felt right. I think I just like being more casual. I think that more casual the more like right now I'm fucking lounging on a couch and two short shorts, you know, lazy, like makes it feel more or less important and less like, you know, dire that we get something good done.
It's just like to.
Have you ever felt a breakthrough? It's a breakthrough episode. Yeah.
Well, I really when we come out of Kobani, we're going to the leases are in our office. We're going to find a new space.
And this time we can actually, like, plan a room around just casting or we both get what we want out of it and maybe have a mixture, know, OK, this is simple and easy from Laurie cabi candy corn or Vallentine Conversation Hearts.
Oh Kattegat candy corn. Easy to Soga. That other shit tastes like medicine, candy, pumpkins or hawkins', any of it.
I love the people that don't like that. I feel like they're just they're just saying that to make me feel bad because I love this mix is oh. And also really is just little piles of sugar.
You get high off that shit if you have a heroin like harvest mix, crushed animal bones, which is sad when you think about it. Good for your nails.
Look, if the harvest mix, people could put a little message at the bottom of each pumpkin, it wouldn't hurt. I love the way the conversation hard concept, but me too.
I love conversation. I don't want to eat like a fortune cookie. I fucking love fortune cookies. Nobody knows that's a wasted calorie cookie. That's right. That's right. Come also of yourself full of Chinese food. Like good luck. So that's the easy or harder quickie. Would you rather live in a sailboat or RV from Laurie Kathee? That's a great question. Laurie Kabe, you got two in a row. Oh, seriously? Yeah, she did conversation arts.
But she's good. She's good. She knows. I can say right away it is not safe to live on a sailboat. The ocean is not your friend. There's all kinds of things happening. There's no, you know, tidal waves in ARV's as far as I know. And I have really fun. Good memories from childhood. My friend Janet Nielson's grandparents came one time and they had one of those ARV's that we were probably seven years old. Yeah.
But it was like a three storey house kind of RV. When we were just away, though, we got to her grandpa drove around while we just, like, played cards, the go camping. And, you know, I think so that you're not allowed to do that anymore. You're not you have to be strapped in when that when it's moving. That was like something that I do. I honestly think right now and let's not talk about this.
We didn't have gas or we had more children and we be just an RV traveling the country. Really? Yeah. And actually I have really bad memories of it from childhood with my dad, with me for the summer. And it was just a nightmare driving for fucking hours and hours. Where would you go to camp each day, sir? We went to Grand Canyon. He's going to fuck it. I know he's going to call me it one way.
I really meant a lot to me and I just wanted to teach you guys. I know it's going to be mad at me for saying that. I know I wrote about it in the book and he's like, oh, I thought it was a learning experience. It was. But I don't like having that. So, you know, you can go on Airbnb or whatever and rent. People are renting out their ARV's for like a night or two at the beach now lol.
That's smart Sambos. I would do sailboat's if I could bring the cats but then I would just sit back and do it.
I just think I love the concept. I think the people that do it are amazing and brave and cool, but I can think immediately of four different hideous stories of people that were like going around the world on a sailboat. Oh my God.
In my mind it's all dolphins meeting my dog that's on the back. But it's not really like that. It's not.
OK, you go. What about this? Oh, this is this is good and interesting and kind of what we talked about before.
But of all the live shows you've performed, what's been your favorite venue and why venue. Where we've gone to and they're all they've all been like 90 percent of them have been fucking incredible. And when they're not incredible, it's funny because it's like, what is this place? Yes, I love those ones. Yeah. I mean, there's so many there's like this one in Texas was the Toyota Ampitheater. Yep. That was like the nicest place you ever played.
Yes. But then there's like the Orpheum in L.A., which means so much because it's your hometown. So it's important.
And that that we could see it was like Houselights were up that whole show. Yeah. I remember there was someone in the audience that I thought was my friend. And then I found out later they didn't go. And the whole time I thought, ah, yeah, it was like, but that's how Houselights up. It was yeah that. Yeah, yeah. That. And then what's the one. The beacon in New York. I mean that one's APIC so it feels really important like oh I heard of this place and I know this is a big deal.
I mean Jesus, the Grand Ole Opry. That's got to be the one. Right. I mean, that was like but I felt so I felt like truly star struck by the building in this way that I felt like some you know, I don't want Carrie Underwood to be mad at us, you know what I mean? I have that feeling of like that. We skipped the line. Yeah. So I felt so intimidated. But I mean, obviously proud that we could even feel it.
And that audience was so great that night.
I mean, that audience was incredible that night.
We met backstage Glen Campbell's daughter. Yes. Ashley Campbell, because this is also an incredible musician now to follow in her father's footsteps. And she could not have been kinder yet. Another person that I remember with my so my therapist can who I was with for two and a half years and then took her own life out of nowhere. Her, like her niece in-law, contacted me and was like I was listening to the podcast and I heard you talk about him.
And I had to pull over and I couldn't believe it. I'm going to bring Cam's mom to the show.
And so she came backstage and talk and yeah, that was a really, really, really powerful and deep and credible. So, yeah, I guess that's the show. There is also that when we were in Anaheim. Right. No, no, no. It was the first time we played Las Vegas and it was the Red Rocks Resort, which was we had unbelievable rooms.
Our rooms had like we had mini swimming pools on the decks. It was crazy. It was those three sizes bigger than my apartment. It was like it was a three bedroom. Yeah. It was like something from cribs. It was crazy. And the view was to the mountains. It was gorgeous and amazing. And then we went down into that room and it was a little bit like you're saying it wasn't a standard like venue room. It was like a it was conference.
It was almost like a banquet, like two wedding banquet halls merged together.
And then they took like a party and all that.
And and there was like carpeting on the ground. And then people were in just kind of like banquet seats. And that audience was on fire. There was something about the kind of like, we're just going to we're going to make a show. My dad's got a stage. You bring your chairs like that feel. But I remember walking on stage and it was like better than a concert venue. Like the audience was doing something. Maybe it was just the biggest thing.
I think it might be, too, is when we go to places that are like vacation destinations instead of like people's hometowns and everyone who's there is on vacation. Yeah. So everyone feels so and excited and loose and free and having a good time for days. So Drew. So maybe that's what they want to do. Vegas, because also I feel like that's the vibe in San Diego. Like people come from out of town to go. Yeah, because then we can live our lives in Santa Barbara.
That was like that, too. There was.
But then there was also in I loved Pittsburgh. I loved. Oh yeah.
So when we were Capsis from Milwaukee.
Milwaukee. Yeah. Milwaukee we've been to twice and that has always been and there's people on the show are so generous. They this Harley Davidson leather jacket that was then. Yes that's right. That's the Riverside Theater right in here. So incredible staff is the best they treated us like is made up of stars. It was crazy.
And yeah, I mean they did a whole a whole spread of food that was like a murder scene. And it was incredible. I'm always just we could just sit here and do this. When have we been treated badly? One is the. It is always surprise that people know that we are in the early days, in the early days when we were kind of by ourselves before Vince was our tour manager, before we were totally, totally had it tightened up or whatever, there was a couple times that we were like, oh, you know, yeah, same thing.
But but never once we hit the stage, it was always just like the same thrilling feeling.
And then I guess we got backstage, make us feel like we're at home, we belong there. They will be like local treats and like this is our best weapon is our donut shop at the lobster. This is like the bakery and this is the beer. And this is a kombucha. And this is you know, it's really cool.
I mean, since this is a total like for for the listeners type of show.
And when you do a Q&A, because it's like we're being lazy, but we do where it is. The thing of like we truly and literally won the super lottery when it comes to listenership and the people who interact with the show and who are a part of this community, we lucked out. In a way it's crazy. Like every person is cooler than the last. Every person is funnier. Every person is more talented and crafty. And it's, what, a week?
Wait, I think I can answer this just so those are all the you know, those are like the top, top, top. We can do this. I could honestly as four hours. Yeah, but. That fuckin theater, I can't remember now I Torana literally. Stephen, you were there, it was the one that it's very kind of almost like 60s modern. So it's like it looks like it got designed and built when it was like, check it out, a big amphitheater or whatever.
So there are a couple of nights, right? Yep. And we've done there a couple of times too. And so you walk out and it was like, so it's really big. So it's one of the bigger audiences we ever had the first time I played it.
And and then the audience was like as if they were it was like you couldn't write better responses for audience and the way they were participating and enjoying the show, it was crazy. That's the Sony Center in Toronto. In Toronto, Sony Center in Toronto. You were there. It's up there. And also that's when we got backstage, the meet and greet, I believe that's the one where the woman brought she made a sign that said, I shaved my face for this camera.
We met her at the main break.
She goes, for some reason, I thought everyone was going to have signs. And she was all like self-conscious that she had brought that, which made me laugh so we could do. I can like it honestly, and I would love to do this for two more hours.
Also, the Sydney Opera House, too. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. I had to get that in because it's so involved of how to actually get to the stage. I miss it. I really miss my friends. When I was a time in your life, you felt aimless. What helped you get through the day to day during that time? Who do you have any routines that help you feel ready to face the world? Thanks for being the voices in my head during this time. Ah yeah. Aimless.
I did aimless from age 18 to age twenty seven. Oh sure.
That's all I ever felt. It was a constant awful. Where are you going to get money. When are you going to have a career. What are you doing with your life. Are you seriously going to drink every minute of the day.
I mean it went, it went on and on and as good things would happen in my life, they would absolutely be kind of like it. I, I didn't have a good enough practice to be like focusing on that and doing other good things, like felt good. It would be like, oh, I got you know, as I get to do a set on a TV show, I'm not going to plan that set and drink the night before, just like insane bad behaviour.
Prove your point that you can't do anything right.
Like almost like I got convinced that amylase was the way I had to be and I get graduate out of it, which was aimless, comfortable.
And I was like, well, if you're aimless, well, it's all good. It's all I knew.
It wasn't like I knew a lot of people who are like, well, then I went to business school and then I did this and I got this blazer or whatever, and I was always like, Oh, I don't want to do any of that. But I also have a terrible feeling about my future all the time.
Yeah, I got that thing for me, I think from like twenty seven for me like twenty seven thirty. Something felt like especially in the late twenties, felt really aimless, like I didn't know what I was, that same exact thing. But I think for me the thing that got me out of that was thinking about was like this American life listening to that made me feel so hopeful and creative and wanting to think they gave me a sense of like purpose and wanting to strive for something.
Every fucking story was so beautiful. And in the journalism and the storytelling about like an IRA Glass, so incredible and beautiful pieces of like a picture of a life. And it felt so inspiring to me. Oh, dear. Everyone's interesting, different stories. So I think like Radiolab and this American Life were really instrumental in helping me be creative.
That's actually interesting because I, I think the way I did it was thinking about the fact that this is my story. So it sounds very similar. And this and I kept I would have to say to myself, this can't be the story picture. If this if somebody was watching a movie and you're the movie, this sucks. Like, this is not fun to watch. It's anything over and over again, like do something else. I think I got a sense of myself instead of just being the like right in myself, freaking out and like kind of self obsessed, I somehow figured out that stepping out and looking at and then being like, well, I can't I'm not going to worry my way into something better.
I have to like do do different things.
I love that I looked for, like, spare change in old coat pockets for so long. Like, I think the aimless thing, I think a lot of like if you're like writing that in and you're. Twenty five. Don't worry about it, because that's what you're supposed to have difficulties and you're supposed to kind of like trudge through your early life so that you have experiences. So you smarten up and you get a sense of the world and how it works and that let people mentor you, let people teach you stuff.
This isn't American Idol. You're not supposed to step out and, like, dazzle everybody when you're 25. No one expects you to. You're not that smart. So give yourself a break and smarten up and like, become a student of the world. And don't worry about, like, the presentation because you need to like and it's like I'm saying this to as much to my like twenty four year old self as anything else. But it's like we all were so results oriented, more so performance oriented, more so like selfie oriented social media style, when actually like younger people should just be actually doing things like get a job somewhere and let someone tell you how to do a thing and be and learn a skill, learn a trade like experience like you experience that in like I feel like that.
I love the idea of being like, is this chapter of my life anything I'll ever want to write about one day or you know, and if it's not, then then make sure you're experiencing things, making friends, having relationships, doing meaningful things for yourself. So when you look back on it in 10, 20 years, you're proud of the amount of experiences you are racking up. For me, writing a blog really helps because I always like something interesting to write about.
So I was terrified about online dating. I can be like, I'm going to talk a lot about it. So it's OK. Yeah, and it was it was like a fun experiment instead of, you know, just a stagnant life. Yeah. And it's also you have to remember it's the judgment about it. Like, what if you were just the most aimless person, like if you're worried about being aimless, be extraordinarily aimless, like go discover what that actually means as opposed to, oh, you're just not a lawyer yet like your parents told you you should be or whatever expectation that you're setting on yourself to to judge yourself instead, you know, open the door a little wider maybe for yourself and and maybe you're not supposed to figure out what you want to do with your life that your partner or any of that shit until you're 40 or 50.
Why did you. Twenty eight. You know, everything you don't. That's a weird old thing. Yeah, that's a weird thing. Because also it's like I thought I knew what I wanted when I was twenty four and then I changed my mind when I wa it didn't work like I did not, you know, it wasn't going to do so much growing. And also like you get to you get to like change midstream and try something else. If, if your original plan isn't working, you get to do that like four times.
Yeah.
OK, this is this is awesome, I'm going back I'm going back to the topic we love, what's the best thing you've eaten and Korean team?
That's a hard one because I've been a glutton sitting over here. Let's get honest about quarantine.
I'm ready. For some reason. It's not really comforting, I think, to both of us is eating our childhood favorites. Yeah. So like we are hungry man dinners. I've been eating peanut butter crackers every day. And I want to ask you to go back to the hungry man dinners. Here's what I used to just go crazy for, about the hungry man dinners saving that little pie thing till the brownie.
Oh, my God. So so is it always a brownie or is it different flavors with different meals? It's different flavors of different meals. Can you just walk us through different desserts so far that you just how about the whole thing. Like what different hungry man have you guys been enjoyable.
I only get the fried chicken because I fucking love it. And we actually had a couple of weeks. There were like every Sunday they were getting fried chicken place nice. That was happening for a while. So then Vince but Vince will get like Salisbury steak, which looks disgusting. You I want to buy it. And I was like, absolutely not. And then and then it was just it wasn't what I thought it would be. And then it was like it's like, yeah, it's like a turkey dinner thing.
And then we also got like a Swedish meatball situation. That's been fine. OK, what can you remember what the desserts for those were?
Those are all brownies I think really, really the you brownies now. But the brownies like crispy and microwaved and half like a piece of corn stuck in it. So you're not a traditional of eating these. You are microwaving them. No, no. OK. Oh yeah. You couldn't because they're aluminum foil. Are they still aluminum foil. No girl.
No plastic. No. The last one I had was in nineteen seventy eight aluminum foil. Let's see what else are we eating. It's a lot of experimentation works. I told Vince I like experiments and now he's ordering every single thing on my screen until we find the one.
OK, first of all, again, congratulations on having the best husband of all time. Secondly is he really is really. He really is. He really is.
Second of all, the times I've had to have a talk with myself because of me ordering ice cream from post mates where it's just like I actually have begun to plan what the other things I eat during the day, like I can't have it unless I only eat crazy head all day long and then order from a because there's so many like fancy bespoke ice cream places in like in the valley.
You can get anything man. Have a green shake for breakfast every day and you and your fine. So I the doctor. The nutritionist doctor. But I will I was going to tweet the other day this this sentence, the secret star of quarantine. Questionmark that.
A spoonful of peanut butter. Cause I can't tell you how many times I've just been kind of like wandering around aimlessly. And then I'm like, wait, I can have a teaspoon of peanut butter to pass the time.
I will say that like this, I haven't had to resort to peanut butter because I when I get in this brain area, stress and anxiety and worry, I look in the fridge or the cupboard and go back. It just so he's definitely been sure that I'm eating. But that means we eat whatever you want to like for dinner. We have chili cheese dogs, which I'm so glad he's been making a lot of tater tots tater crowns, which is a question I didn't know that.
It's like they're little like they're like when you get a Burger King hash browns in the morning, but they're like flat. Sure, it's like that instead. That's a lot of. Yeah. Midwestern this Midwestern night. Hardy it's been like hovering. That's great. Yeah. Millennials, a lot of them want us. Oh those are, those are classic I, I keep making case ideas. Oh yeah. Simple, easy. But then it also it feels like I'm actually making something real like I kind of like sorry I have to stand at the oven for a while like an actual adult and it's just a case.
Yeah.
But then I'll sometimes order from Sharky's which is a rad Mexican place in L.A. It's a chain that's so good and everything is really well made and then get their salsa. So then I know my homies deal with some real good fire roasted salsa. We've talked about it. I'm not saying this to be hackie Zankou chicken. It's just it's everything and it's good, kind of good for you or at least like it's, you know, clean, it's perfect.
This is from Sierra and it says, What advice would you give to someone who struggles with self-confidence as someone who is often second guessing herself? It's so comforting to listen to both of you be real, this may sound like a backwards compliment, but even when you make mistakes on the podcast, know that you're both inspiring murderousness to keep going because we're all human. Love to you both, Sarah. So the question is, after all, that is, what advice would you give to someone who struggles with self-confidence?
Don't beat yourself up for struggling with self-confidence. Like, that's such a big barrier everyone puts we put in our way of life because we're not perfect, but we suck. Yes. I think once you learn to accept yourself as a flawed as a hilariously, charmingly real flawed person.
Then you can forgive yourself a little more. Be yourself a little more, you know, which is a beloved person to a lot of people.
Yeah, and I think the it's yeah, it's you're not going to ever get self-confidence from someone else. So I think a lot of people think that where it's like, oh, if I just get if I line certain things up, then suddenly that will be like the answer. I'll be physically perfect. I'll be I'll say the perfect thing and shit up of like here's how they base it on other people they've seen of, like I wish I could be like him or her and and it's all made up.
You just have to kind of cop to the fact that all of your attempts, if you're struggling with self-confidence because you think you did it wrong a couple of times or you think you don't have what it takes to do it. And that's all made up. And and I will say this is going to sound mean, but it's the truth. It's boring to be insecure.
And I'm saying that as a person who has been deeply boring about her insecurities for most of her life, it took me a long time to realize it. But ultimately, you standing there, picking it yourself and only being like, is my hair OK?
Whatever, it's a fucking bore. Bring more to the table, you know, like get some get turned. Interesting trivia and focus on other people that will help you. So yeah, let it and let it go. Let it go. This idea of this person you're supposed to be that you're not holding to anyone else. Yeah. You can try really hard to be perfect and it's not going to work and you're going to be unhappy and you're not going to be that fun to be around.
And it's a struggle every day. Or you can let it go and do your best to be a good person and a good friend. And yeah, I think I'm like someone you like to become a person that you would want to be friends with, I think is the goal. It's like if you're going to go to say this future, a future party that will happen in five years. What like because when thinking about like what makes you not have self-confidence.
So is it like speaking to other people that you don't know at a party or is it something to do with work or whatever kind of figure out what the area is that you've decided you are less than somehow in and then work? You know what I mean? Like, if it's say it's a party, then go with like ten topics that you could talk about that you could ask people, do you care about the Loch Ness Monster?
That right.
There is a fascinating thing to ask someone at a party as opposed to trying to stand and like, look perfect or or something like that where it's like or act cool, quote unquote. Which, by the way, if you think you're quote unquote acting cool, you are not that kind of a day.
I promise you, you're not cool.
And it's like and then people come back later and be like, oh yeah, I remember meeting you. You seemed like you seemed really unhappy or you see a bitch or something. Instead, it's like if you can figure out how to focus on other people, I think that's the key. Definitely.
Well, how do you determine which stories and you share during Minnesota? So that's from Aaron. We read them so specific, though, so it has to be like well written, an actual story that has heart, the heart of the reader, the writer and the fascinating story. Right? Yeah.
And I think somebody like, yeah, I think if you're if you write the hometown to try to sound like us to make us happy, we probably won't pick it because that just sounds like us. And instead, if you write it, if we can get to know you through the way you tell your story, that's the most fun of all. And yes. And then also, if if your story is good, then you're just off to the races.
But I think sometimes people try to like please us with the presentation. Kind of. Yeah. Instead of like I wouldn't that doesn't happen that often. But I think it's like that would be the thing that doesn't make me pick something is like it doesn't sound genuine. Trust that you're interesting as you naturally write because it is. Yeah. Be earnest and honest and talk about what you like and you'll seem cool and interesting and tell us what your grandparents names are at this time.
What sound or noise do you hate. Oh windchimes for real. Yeah, they make me sad.
It's going over school after school.
No one was home in the house because I was a kid and I would still be getting like dust. And then I could hear my neighbor's wind chimes and it would just be like your. You're all there was Lee, where was any Lee was probably, you know, her friend's house and there was probably some practice in there. We are just we are roommates. And is there anything very independent? Yeah. So like all the lights in the house would be off and it would be getting dark.
And then I hear wind chimes. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I hate because I see I grew up my sister had misophonia growing up. So it's the thing where you there certain sounds that you hate or like a sensitivity to sound. So literally I could not eat cereal anywhere near anywhere near her and then any time I chewed gum she would immediately be mad. So she had that thing where it was like she could hear you're like the mouth.
So yeah, what I just did would infuriate my sister.
So I think everything that's coming to mind is her thing because you're so like, you know, it's just all her it's all her problem. But I guess I would say. Heat. Well, I really hate when, like cars with loud mufflers on purpose go by, like either motorcycles or the cars those make, it doesn't make sense to me. It's so rude. It's so rude. It's like setting off car alarms and waking up baby and stuff where it's just kind of like just to do it.
Is it like is it a biker thing of like, fuck you all have no muffler and you'll like, is it that.
Yeah. When I get in there they're tuned up a little bit so that the car cars can hear them. But that's one reason that they do all that stuff a little bit. So when you go buy a car, they hear you and so they know you're coming. But when they do, when they're on the highway for the blind, you know what I mean? Visual people are fucking stupid. They said so you can hear a car coming or the motorcycle coming.
But when they do it just to like, wrap up and shit, that's those are the ones that there's. Yeah, it's but I'm trying to think of like. The you know, what is what is a nails on the chalkboard or type is to me like a similar thing like that, I thought of my answer.
OK, OK, so obvious. I don't want to listen to 911 calls, oh, that's the thing I can't do. Like, I was like, I know there's something that the second it starts, I go, don't turn it off, turn it off. And it's like, yeah, any serial killer or any, like, criminal being recorded and talking and ending on one uncle. I don't want to want to hear it. About all along, OK, one last one.
Yeah, Karen, yes, it says, what is the most important thing you've learned from Georgia? Georgia? What's the most important thing you've learned from Karen? And that's from Elizabeth City. First of all, I learned a lot of things from you, but I'm trying to think of what the most important I think it's this honestly. You got to start immediate.
If you if you start a podcast immediately start making Mirch immediately merges it merges where it's get on that people want shirt, make shirts, get into merch, take it seriously. It's important. It's fun and it's fun. So that's my favorite thing. I have some real good new designs coming. Oh, that's right. Yep. You did cry when we showed it.
I think I learned from you a very important thing that I'm going to carry with me my whole life is is it's OK to and how to say, no, I don't agree when you don't want to do something.
I think I've been such like I don't want to disappoint anyone my whole fucking life. So I've been really I've done things that I don't want to do. I say, yes, especially with work. Everything feels like Dior. And I have to do it to to a point where I'm going crazy, but like it's OK to say no. And I actually become less of a flaky person and a happier person because instead of saying yes to something and then in a month feeling like I don't want to do that and flaking.
Yes, that's immediately why that's I know that's not something I want to do or I know that's not something that's going to make me feel good. And and the people who hate you, if you say no, it's not a negative. And if they do, then that's their problem, not yours. Yeah, they're probably a dick. And also you. Yeah, it's like. Yeah, I thank you, I learned that crucial thing long ago, which is the standard should be no and you like it has to be really good to say yes because what you do and your energy and your time and your attention matters and is valuable.
And if you if you have a thing where you're constantly people pleasing randomly, then anyone can can like energy vampyre you anyone can take anything and will always be able to manipulate you and like guilt quote unquote guilt you.
And that shouldn't be an option for anyone except for like your favorite aunt and your sister or brother. What I mean, it's it's you have to have your inner circle and then everything else is like you don't owe anybody a favor, you don't owe anybody anything. It's just a good I think it's good self-preservation. Don't do it so much that you closed down or, you know, like I can be I can be very like I'll fight immediately. But that's just, you know, that's just how I was raised, you guys.
But it's also but it's also like in dealing with serious, you say. Yes all the time, right. Yeah. Yeah. It dilutes. It dilutes. It dilutes. Yes. Yeah. Whereas if you say no to things that are actually choosing things that matter to you and saying yes to things are important, then when you say yes to those things it matters more. Yeah. In this cosmic way. And also it just the you weather because we could be talking about it like going to a party or doing some favor or doing a project or whatever, whatever it is, it's just you have to take it in and go what what do I really think you have to like take the pause and really go like what's the let's look at this.
What would happen six months from now? What's the bigger picture thing? And like, actually lay it all out in a serious way. It's good because then you're there being strategic about your own life. Yeah. And there's a there's an amount of yourself spiritually that you can give away that eventually it's going to hit a wall and you're going to be exhausted from doing things for other people constantly. It's going to spiritually deplete you. Well, and also it's that if you keep on saying yes for that reason, it supports the belief the only good you are is of use to other people.
And that's incorrect. That's like your boundaries actually are what make people like you having this self respect to say no thanks and not right now makes people go, oh, OK, I can't just like, walk right over that person.
It's it's like it's a misconception. I think that often a lot of women have that. It's like if I'm not nice and agreeable service service to people. Yeah. That's just kind of a weird old idea that I feel like now young young women of today are have that in hand. But, you know, if you were raised by moms that were raised to believe that, then like, that's just you got you got that lesson early and often, which is smile.
Make sure people like you make sure you're nice. Like it's this idea that you're supposed to be the kind of Applebee's hostess to the world. And that's fucking bullshit. Yeah, it's only built up my confidence for sure, being able to know my worth and know that I'm not worthless if I'm not of service. Just do you ever fucking want to.
Yeah. Which is not to say you can't be a slut. Get out there, do it. Yeah. But the point is you want not what people want. Right. Do what and who you want. Do what you like. Well that's it. That's it. That was the Q&A. That was the Q&A. That was so fun. Thanks for tuning in all you deep dark materials. Yes. Thank you. Thanks for asking great questions and thoughtful questions and plenty of snacks and food questions.
That's right. Those were all these. Are there so many more questions we'll ask one day.
I absolutely am going to buy a fried chicken hungry man dinner.
I'll try it out on your rack. So it sounds really fun, Brad. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks for listening. Thanks, Stephen. Good job. Good job, everyone. You guys are the best. Thanks for listening. I hope you're doing well in quarantine.
Yes. Stay strong, stay healthy, stay sexy and don't get word. Goodbye, Elvis.
Do you want a cookie?