What? San Diego. Come on, come on, first show, we're ready for a show of the tour we got to get we got to get on it. Got to get our timing down. I mean, hey, hey. Does this go up to the sky? This theater is looking you don't need that many balconies. Well, that's why they have binoculars that you were not wearing these because we're these are a thing now. They have binoculars that you can buy in the lobby.
That's how far away people are. Yeah. Binoculars, far. Do you understand how this theater works? I'm already learning things about myself in this tour. Like, I don't know how to use a pair of binoculars. Just a twisty twist until you see twist hairs. I mean, you know, what I love about these is I can see exit signs, so can clearly just what I'm here for.
Here at the opera, just staring at exit signs. Yes, I'm going to escape that way and that way. Oh, the problem with the first night of the tour is that you realize you should have done so many things in the past month and week and day to prepare.
And then you're like, well, they won't see it, but my nails are disgusting or whatever. And then they have binoculars and they can see everything about that.
Can you see that? How about that? All right. See, now you've broken closer or further away. I can't see you. Like, should I walk over here and flip you off?
Surely the list is long. It'd be kind of cool if we could start a trend of people wearing binoculars as necklaces. Yeah. Pretend we all like it. Yeah. Yeah. When it's actually quite heavy and bad on your spine and your eyes, you don't need to see anything that closely. If God intended for you to see something that closely, you would have invented binoculars.
That's right. And I'm so glad you mentioned God, George. Because tonight it's all about the Lord. That's why we raised him up all the way to the front. To the fourth balcony. Oh, yeah. Yes. God bless you. Oh, I'm not wearing black. I know. Talk walk it across. Give it a real look at her. This is the first fucking time I truly like like the walk. It's like a weird black dress I'm never going to wear again.
I hate black. It's really uncomfortable there. But this is like fucking vintage and shit. Yeah. I like was like that dress is so me I'm going to buy it and have it forever and you had the power of the time.
That's what's magical about it. So wherever the fuck you want. I've literally worn pajamas to live shows. George is like, look, I think we should talk about it because I think I want to wear color. I'm like, dude, can I lay down during the show? That's what I, I would prefer we have different standards. Well, I'm a professional professional, so I can't I also have a hot tip. It's a fashion tip. Hashtag it.
If your dress doesn't fit you anymore, you you can make it fit by slightly ripping it wear the zipper is OK and giving yourself more room.
I love it and then just cover it up with a belt and no one will notice. And if they do tell them to take their binoculars off. Oh go fuck your binoculars about that. Yeah. And this fashion tip is straight out of vogue. Hashtag you're straight out of Vogue. Hashtag What's up Anna Wintour. Yeah, we're doing a different this year. Yeah. Look and listen to the experts, police, arson expert, police.
That's our new show. What about you? Oh, yeah. It's this whole thing.
Nice lighting guy, nice, he picked that right up. What if I go over here really fast lighting guy there? Yeah, this is a high quality theater. When the lighting guy follows you with the grid, should we tell about it?
Won't name names, but one of the shows last season.
No, no semester last month. Yes, it was last month. We were living person got the cue that as soon as we said good night to turn all the lights off in the entire theater, including on the stage. So we go to wave and then it's the darkness and it's in its day darkness where we were like, we're like bug. And then we're just kind of like but by I guess you guys. And then tell those guys we said back with our hands.
Right. And then hopefully we don't trip on the way out. So upstage. Then we left like fucking Charlie Brown. Like I guess they didn't like it. That's that. You know, it's funny.
We do. So San Diego, you're you're you're kicking off the twenty nineteen spring tour. Congratulations. It's very exciting.
Yeah, one part of that, though, is aside from like since this is my twenty eighteen winter tour dress as her standing in the dressing room door to door to talk about her dress, then I was like, I should have gotten mine dry cleaning. That's one of those things. Thank you so much time. Yeah. That's on that list all the time in the world. Be clean basics, the basics.
But because it's the first show, we don't have as many. Like we don't have these road dog anecdotes that we usually do. And oh my God, we usually write. Right? I mean, well the and stuff old.
But here's what did happen. And this made me laugh because you were like, what do we talk about when we get out there?
And I just like I know what I'm going to talk about because on the way down, we stopped it in and out.
But you gotta sweat a hamburger's elbow, so you have to do it. And George and I, before we left. Oh, no. You want to tell them? Oh, I forgot already about it. No, I know a lot of people. This is. Yeah. There's a ton of fucking people out there. Yeah. Yeah. OK, go ahead.
So as you may know, Georgia likes to do fun, physical surprises to me.
So like and we've talked about it before, like we were in New York is like not in front of a bunch of people. It's like on the podcast where I'm like, I love to fart, but it's like we're in my living room. Right. But, you know, you're not. What I'm saying is you're not shy. You're not that's not a natural set point for you. I think you're very bold and your body positive and your fun.
You're fun. Thank you. And you want to have fun.
So oftentimes I'll go up and be like, hey, you have my blow dryer and then I'm not going to her hotel room door and she opens it completely naked. That's happened several times. It's funny. You should try it naked. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. And she has her eyes wide and her mouth open. So it's like, oh, it's surprise. Make it. It's really like the time. It's like a shock scare like like a haunted house.
That's what you're going for with your hotel shocks. No, not so. Well, so, so that one of those fun things is just they'll just be private but very presentational.
Farting every once in a while. It's like it's like a punctuation mark. The end of a joke. That's not funny. If you tell a stupid joke and it doesn't land fart at the end of the hour, it's fucking hilarious. Like and you do a little like it's like it's hilarious. I laugh every single fucking time. Nothing's funnier. Thank you. Real time farting is better than any thing that's ever been written in McSweeney's or The Onion. It's just the best.
It's risky. It's vulnerable. It's loud. It smells. So so all the things you want to joke. Oh, it's called the Magic Four. Yeah. We go into the bathroom in and out. There's people in there. When we go in, I go into the stall door just messing around at the sink the way she likes to do like a cat. I'm in the water. You know how I like to. Do I hit her to get her down off the sink, so I'm in the stall and it's just kind of stall that looks like it's one big stall, not what it was, which is too soft to solve with two different people, two different people.
One of them, not me, is a stranger. Stranger. I did not know that. So I just hear this from inside the stall. I just hear I think you went something like you correct me if I'm wrong is something like, hey, like that.
And then that's. I had already heard the lady shuffling around in the other stall. I knew there was someone there, hadn't heard her. So I'm immediately crying on the toilet and then I hear then her toilet flushes and George go, is there someone else in here? And I just hear the door open and shut. She was fucking gone. I left. And then Karen walks out. I say, Is there someone else in there? Right? Is Karen's bathroom door open?
And she's just nodding at me with, like, this gleeful face. But what I didn't realize I didn't I didn't cover my own six because Georgia ran out before the lady came out of the stall. So they're washing my hands and laughing at her. Yes. The lady comes out. I'm in the farting position now. I did it. I did it. I was not my intention. I did it. It looked like I did it and was laughing at myself and washing my hands.
One rule of fart jokes, as you always take responsibility for your own fart jokes. That's right. I never pin that on someone else. You know, you come back in the bathroom, hey, lady, that was me. So, look, I want to talk about this today, and I'll do it again to prove it. Watch this. Watch this and that. Don't we have some really terrible photos to put? I think we do.
Oh, by the way, this is a podcast, my favorite.
Right. Thank you, that's Karen Kilgariff, and that's Hard Start. We're very excited to be here with you. We're very happy to see you. Thank you so much. Thank you.
Goodbye. So when we left, we left in and out. Vince is driving. I'm navigating. That's a mistake. And it turns out the city of like I don't know what it is like. Oh, my God.
It's it's like in the middle of it all where the single person I don't know exactly. It's probably Carson. There's just a lot of construction right now. And so we get lost immediately and we'll start going the wrong way.
There's only one way street. Yeah, they're they're actually building an overpass, right. To connect to one of the 100000 freeways down here.
So we kind of go under not a finished overpass, but like the wooden wobbly structure of an overpass of future of the tents, we're only twenty five.
It's going to be yeah. It's like let's get away from this area. Yeah, we took some photos for you so but went to go around and truly I don't think it was on the map. Waze was like, fuck you were. You're going to hang out down there then. We were. We can't help you. I told you where to go. So it's really mean. Here's where we end up.
This is now, if you can tell. Oh, I think you should go forward one.
Oh, man. OK, can you see how. Oh yeah. It's an overpass exit to fucking nowhere. As you said, it's fucking straight. Sandra Bullock. Yes. Overpass. This is where they shot that scene in speed where she impossibly jumps a bus. Amazing.
And so that can you go back? So basically this was on her left and this was in front of us. And we're like, well, I guess we have to go up here. It just looks like now you took a wrong turn. Now you have to go kill yourself in your own car.
Yeah. Good luck. Yeah. Good bye. All right. Bye. I was a wait and then. OK, here we go. There it is.
My my my mom. Steven's not here. I know. I'm actually surprise. Usually when it's close he wants to come.
Yeah, but listen, there's cats and there's Steven and he doesn't tend to not be with one at all times. They might be going through a rebellious stage. Teenage. Steven, thank you.
I don't care about your show now. I'm the Perkasa baby in his own life now he has nice leggings on.
Yeah, this table looks like me after the show. Actually it's pretty much exactly my outfit. That's you. You know how you like to put your clothes over your toes. You want to sit down. Yeah. Should we. Let's do it. Oh I like these guys. Should we take these for my new house. Take these home to Mars. This is it. I can deal with a chair like this.
Oh, we're a little. Hello, how are you. I feel so fucking petite. Eva, you're so tiny. You're just a little girl in a huge chair. It is weird what happened.
It's just ok. Well I just don't talk about it. No. Did your dress split open. No, not any more than it already did. OK. And then brought it back up dressed just in case and it's black. So I feel like it's one of those things where it's just like, you know, it's like a threat to myself that if I fuck this dress up, I have to just put on an old dress. Yeah, I don't want to do that.
Just add that pressure like Tonya Harding. Mom can't just constantly be your own Tonya Harding mom to yourself. That's how you get to the Olympics. And that's what I'm trying for. The Olympics. Yeah, the podcasting Olympics. That's right. Oh, my God. They're in three years. They're going to be in Seoul.
I'm first, no, it's me. Oh, right, yeah. Are these open when we make them come to the theater, open our waters and then go and then drive home? Yeah, and we don't give them gas money.
Oh, did you just spell over Shaddad? OK. You don't know me. Oh, my God, it's drunk. Have you been an. Now, be a bitch and you can party with me. Now it's turning into a weird exhale thing that it's not that's not drunk, Karen. That's a sexy lady trunk. Karen was not sexy. I guarantee you that. OK, I'm starting out tonight, and here's what's funny.
When this event happens in real time, I remember watching it on TV, but I've never thought about doing it for any of our live shows down here because Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds of the Dollar did it on their six episode long, long ago. And it was so fucking hilarious. I was like, well, you just kind of can't do that ever again. Yeah, but then I was like, fuck them.
So I'm doing San Diego's nineteen ninety five tank rampage. What do you remember this were you how old were you? Ninety five. I was 15 and fucking live in my sad life in Orange County.
What were you doing? What were you doing when you're 15? Fifteen, I think was the prime ravers. Don't spit that out. Rave they raves.
Did you wear Genco jeans? No, but I wore vinyl pants. Right, my pants.
OK, or sometimes I get dressed up and wear like a cheerleader's, like, you know, like a cheerleader right next to the outfit, like like a club kid, but like making fun of cheerleaders. But was it. Did I really. And then. Yeah, like you're pretending that you hate cheerleaders. Like clearly you would love to be a cheerleader making fun of that thing you can't have just so you don't feel bad about not you know, you got it.
It's called life. Welcome to it. None of us belong, OK. Ninety five tanks, ten we go tanks. We don't extend ninety five.
I was twenty five things and I was on so much speed that I would just, I would wake up like entirely awake at like 5:00 a.m. and stare out the window and not blink for seven hours. It was rough. So if you're around are conscious or having a time in 95, you will have seen this on the news, it it was a guy that drove a tank for twenty three minutes around San Diego and it was fucking nuts. Now, that in and of itself is plenty of story.
There's plenty of story with just that. And my assumption is that's very sad. Clearly, somebody had mental illness.
Clearly there was issue behind it. You know, whatever. Then you dig in to the actual story and it's so, so much more.
So let's talk about it. And we're talking about a man named Sean Nelson. He is the guy that ended up commandeering a tank from the National Guard armory, which was not locked.
It should be locked. It should be like the National Guard should have the best security.
You would think just name alone. You would think that that would be a thing they were into. Yeah, even if it was just for the show of it, like, I love to wear this outfit. Yeah. They'd be like, oh, sorry, I'm guarding this. What's your business here? I know in 95 that wasn't the case. Listen, we're not we're not shaming the what do they call them? The National Guard. The National Guard.
You're not in the armed forces. Yeah, no, no, not at all. What we're talking about really is at the end of the day, meth's we're going to be talking about a lot tonight.
So smoke em if you got them. So quick background. Sean Nelson, he was born in Birdseye, Utah, on August 21st, 1959. His father was in the military.
He grows up in the Claremont neighborhood of San Diego, which is, yeah, Claremont is kind of where all this happens.
It's also where we're where the armory is, where the super Lucy Goosey Chill Armory is.
Yeah. Now you guys know. Yeah, he joins the army.
He's in it for two years in the tank Division one. That's called foreshadowing. He loves tanks and loves tanks. I'm sure they make you feel great. You're all protected and you can kind of drive around real slow.
So but after two years, he leaves the army and he goes down to Panama. He works on a fishing boat. Eventually he comes back home and he starts a plumbing business and he does great.
So that's how good the problem was. Around the late 80s, the wall came down and the Cold War ended. And so because a lot of the military action slowed down, then the economy in this area slowed down because there's a it's a very military based economy around here. So there was a downturn economically here. That plumbing business dried up. You're saying people stopped shedding entirely. You just stopped flushing. You know, they were they let it mellow all over town.
And no, no, what actually happened was and this is interesting. This is from the Dalip this is Dave's research. But basically methamphetamine was something that the military have used for years and years.
Oh, that's what they gave kamikaze pilots. Right. But yes, also Hitler loved it. Oh, sure.
He was a he was super stoked about any kind of amphetamine.
Yeah. So apparently and and according to Dave Anthony, meth came into the United States through San Diego.
So, guys. Yes, some of it. I thought you guys were better than that. So basically so when things slow down, people start using the cheapest drugs made of Ajax that they can find.
I can guarantee you that that fucking meth made its way to Irvine.
Yeah, that's right.
It made its way anywhere where the children were born and had big speakers to dance in front of as you as you have told me. OK, so Sean Nelson has a terrible run of luck. It's very sad. Is he? He starts using meth, his wife of six years files for divorce, and then he loses both of his parents to cancer in nineteen ninety two.
Then he gets into a motorcycle accident.
And he the theory is that he was on drugs because when he got to the emergency room, he got into a physical altercation with the security guards there and was fighting them even though they were trying to treat him.
He was super fucked up from a bad motorcycle accident.
He ends up suing the hospital for one point six million dollars.
And the lawsuit is dropped or, you know, the judge says goodbye, then the hospital counter sues him for the six grand he owes them for the medical treatment that he says he didn't want.
Holy shit. Yeah. So it's there's there's some issues that maybe meth isn't helping.
Right. And I will say in a nonjudgmental former speed addict way, I I'm just seeing some patterns that I recognize it myself now chemos into this little house.
And unfortunately and usually the way it goes with meth and the people that I know that have been addicted to meth, it turns out, oh, my God, his neighbor is kind of like a meth dealer.
She lives right next door. She's she's more of like, I don't know, she was a full fledged dealer, but she was like a holder of meth and a gatherer of meth minded people.
This is a fucking story line on Breaking Bad when Jesse Pinkman moves next door to the right and everyone comes and parties at his house. Yeah. Yeah. So there's some you please listen to Episode six of the Dalip. There's so many fucking crazy stories, but essentially he's just doing meth, doesn't have a lot of work to do. Everyone around him is doing that. So they're doing stuff like grown men are wrestling each other in the backyard like like, you know, tell them style.
Oh, you know, suplex or whatever style wrestling. And when him and his friend do this one time, his friend throws him on the ground and breaks his back. You guys don't do it. Don't do that. That's all. Don't do meth wrestling. So so he has a broken back.
He's you know, he's, you know, very lawsuit attracted, I guess we could say just lots and lots of issues in the issues are building. And then as we know, if you do a lot of drugs, you start to lose your sense of true reality and you start to live in a reality that the drugs are dictating.
And this is what happens to Sean, because Sean one day becomes convinced that he has found a nugget of gold in his own backyard. Why? Yes. So he begins to mine for gold in his backyard.
No. Oh, yes. Oh, no. There's a photo. So there's that song. Nelson, he looks so normal. Yeah. And it's better.
Day is clearly like looks very healthy. Looks. Yeah. Looks happy. Here's his. He ends up digging a seventeen foot hole in his backyard. Oh holy shit. Holy. This is what meth can do for you.
I mean I couldn't do that and I'm not on my determination. Yeah. You know what I notice though. He's wearing his wedding ring, so I don't know. I noticed that that that's Kevin Nelson. Right.
I see that by the name next to his face that I now see that look. We didn't see those pictures beforehand. It even puts all kinds of surprises on here. Yeah, that's not Sean. Got it. Kevin. Yeah, I think it's I think it might be a brother or relative. They haven't been on it. OK, here's the thing. He's sick. Sean is together enough still that he is convincing the people around him that this is a possibility and how exciting.
If it was 100 percent.
It's your yard. Yeah. And there's a gold mine. All right.
Fucking there, Diego. Nobody knew.
So that's what I picture myself doing, is like, you find that nugget, you hold it up to the sun.
Yeah. And then all your problems are solved.
No, it turns out the details of this are crazy, but the actual you know, clearly this mine shaft that he built is professional.
He's he knows how to work some tools and handles some shit. And he starts getting the the meth fans that are around to come on over.
And then the idea is you work on the mine with me and then you can get a cut of the gold when we finally strike it rich.
And in the meantime, you can help me out by giving me meth. Yeah, don't be.
That was actually part of it is if you want to come over, if you want to work on the mine, you have to bring that up. So it's like a gold mining meth party in this backyard all the time.
All I want is to watch like a four hour series interviewing the neighbors while this was going down, because it's one thing when someone has like a like a tiki themed party in their backyard one night where you're like, all right.
Yeah, but this was a he was you.
He was using. He was. Using his own Jacuzzi as a sluice, so he was like running dirt through the Jacuzzi to keep then and then panning up to see if the gold came through.
Yes, a perfectly good Jacuzzi. Yes. That hurts you especially. I fucking love you guys. I'm not kidding. And see, this is what drugs do. Yeah. You no longer see the value of your seat.
You just want that gold. You could buy 100 Jacuzzis when you find the gold. The future promises of 100 Jacuzzis lined up and you can just go from one to the other all night. Yeah, we gotta get that gold smoke snort, OK.
The neighbors, of course, file noise complaints with the police. Sean files a complaint against the police for harassment because no one's letting him do his have his dream. So in February of nineteen ninety five.
So this goes on for like this is his his drug use is ramping up and the psychosis around it is ramping up.
Obviously, in February of 95, he files, tries to file a claim with the city of San Diego that he can mine bedrock in his own backyard. He goes to city hall and he's like, I want to file this claim for my backyard, for the gold in my backyard. And they're like, it's your fuckin backyard, dude. You can do whatever you like. You don't need to claim you.
You could dig your entire backyard up and throw it away and that's yours to do, OK, and that's what I did. At what point do you get to the part that belongs to San Diego now? You don't to like do you buy your house to the core of the earth? That is the best fucking question I've ever heard. Do you own the fucking magma layer beneath your house itself? Is that your shit? Yeah, but what do you mean?
Yes, I was like, I wonder core of that right now or down. Do you own something? You buy a house right down to dig up my fucking new back. You dig it up and get that those precious metals for yourself, that magma, get that magma.
I think it's like if you I think you stop owning it when you pop up in Sydney, Australia, and they're like, no, mate, that's not yours. That's my gold. Now, here's another thing that gets crazy.
They do find a little bit of gold.
So, yes, wait, that part's real. Well, I didn't say it was real. I just said that they found gold.
OK, what was happening was Sean was buying no gold from neighborhood teens and melting it down and burying it in the mine for people to discover.
I have so many questions that no one is like that idea of these fucking teens dealing drugs, yet they're dealing gold.
That's insane. And, well, they were visionaries. It was nineteen ninety five. Cash for gold had not been invented yet, but they were like, I'm fine. This is a niche that needs to be built.
It was, it was a hammer. You know, Hammer does all those cash for gold commercials. Yeah.
Well as a teen, you know, so this basically they'd be like here's like gold you wanted he'd be like, thanks, I'm going to go Smeltz for a while. He would hide it. Then he'd be like, I think I hit something over here, Dan. And then another method would come over and be like, what if it's real? And then they'd be like, OK, here's my math packet, let's celebrate. Yeah. And it would it was basically this kind of self-perpetuating gold mine situation that was fake too.
But it seemed like Sean believed in it because he wanted to own the claim. He basically wanted to make sure the city wasn't going to take his gold. The city was like, we don't give those.
He got super mad and stayed mad about it for a long time because of the meth.
So then there was a the downward spiral comes in April.
He's been mining for the meth gold for nine months. This is the downward spiral.
I feel like this is happened. We we just peaked. Now it's going to go like this. OK, yeah. That was the fun, like screaming part of the roller coaster. Now we're about to entirely go off the rails.
So he hasn't paid his mortgage in nine months, of course. And now someone stole his plumbing tools somewhere along the line. So he can't even go back to his regular job. And he's kind of beyond that anyway.
And his water and his power get turned off, which is tough on a mine.
You need that water, that Jacuzzi for the Jacuzzi that he get to get a big crank on the side of it.
It's pictured in your mind. Give it a moment. And his only friend left is this guy Chuck, who's also on a ton of meth. And on that episode of the DOLLOPED, they played audiotape of Chuck explaining stuff.
And unless you would get PTSD from it like I did, oh, you should listen to it because it's just a person on drugs, like it's just the best anti-drug PSA in the world.
Just kind got a guy like. That's right. It's like none of that made sense.
OK, Sean, one night goes down into the mine and sees God.
And how did he buy it from teens and put it down everyone else as they're pulling their mom's necklaces out of the bag.
And then one teen's like, hey, check this shit out.
It's the lower. Forty bucks. Forty bucks.
Before he sees God, he sees a pyramid, you know, and there's a dragon inside the pyramid as as you know, there always is a God. And then he gets the message.
Him and Chuck are supposed to fight this dragon wrestling style in the backyard. SNAP it. SNAP it's back. Oh my God.
OK, in April of ninety five, his live in girlfriend dies of a drug overdose. So yeah, we're going off the rails. OK, he files a two million dollar damage claim against the city.
One for police. Negligence and one for false arrest in May of 95, the house gets foreclosed on.
So basically kind of all the plans and schemes and everything, I've just have crashed and burned horribly.
So page three, on the afternoon of May 18th, 1995, Sean Nelson gets into his van and he drives to the National Guard Armory in Claremont neighborhood of San Diego. He's shirtless and he's got a plan.
Oh, you can't. You have you have to have both. You can't be one of the other. That's right. If you've got a plan, take off that shirt and let everyone know if you're wearing a shirt, but you've got a plan strip.
He told his friend he was going to drive a tank to city hall.
He was going to pull the tank up on the steps of city hall and then demand to be on TV so he could make a statement.
OK, I'm following so far. Right. That's the problem. It's pretty simple plan.
Why you can't just walk to the steps and stand there maybe in a suit. I don't know. I don't know the plan. That's your shirt is still on. I'm just reporting you clearly. I'm not in on the plan because I've got my top on. So either just by chance or because it's what the Lord wanted.
When he went to the National Armory Vehicle Yard, it was not locked. So he drove to the armory, drove on, then went up to the yard chain link fence, opened it, drove on up to a tank and began getting up onto the tanks and trying the hatches to get in. And he he had a crowbar. So he was crowbar ing his way in. And once he got he got into all three tanks.
That should not be that easy to get into. Well, he was a tank man.
He knew exactly where to crowbar it. But the first one here's a very interesting fact that I learned kind a half researching this is the M sixty three Paten tank.
It it starts. Thank you. It's called cut and paste. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm like a child. Those types of tanks, they start with a push button way ahead of its time. Yeah. Yeah.
Like a fancy, like a BMW press or something. Yes exactly. That's like I was like what.
How do you do you need a key for a tank because I was already there.
I mean now I believe you should have to truly there should be individual keys for every tank that only like two guys have.
Yeah. But apparently once you get in, if you know what button to push and like how to go like this or whatever, I'm doing this based on video games I've seen, you can do it.
So basically he gets to his third tank and that's when the one guardsman who is there finally sees him and is like, oh, what the fuck? And he realizes the guys in the tank and the tank has started and it's starting to move.
So instead of trying to run to the tank or do the dipshit things, you see people doing movies where you're like, don't run up to a tank.
It's like don't shoot at a tank.
He immediately just calls the police and is like, there's a guy that's still a tank. I was going to the bathroom. I might have been in there a little too long. I guess the gate was not locked.
However, I was just trying to be a little different today than I normally. And I am. It's hard to let your guard down. Yeah. So I unlocked the gate and worked on my vulnerability and someone took advantage of me.
Yes. I'm never going to do it again. Basically this guardsman's on the phone with the cops and he's like, yeah.
So I got a guy, he's taken one of my tanks. I only have three. He can't. There he goes. He's driving over the chain link fence.
No. Yeah. OK, this is your problem now. San Diego Police Department and Sheriff's Office, Gabey.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
So now Sean Nelson is luckily the onboard cannon aircraft gun and machine gun were not loaded.
Phew. Yes. Yeah, I think so. No weapons involved except of course, for the tank tank.
OK, right. Which could also be used as a weapon as it kind of anything anyway. Can be used as like a short Godzilla.
It's how I is what I like to call tanks from my time in the Navy. So he starts driving a fifty seven ton tank through the Clermont neighborhood of San Diego. I keep calling it that for people who don't know San Diego well enough.
And it is destroying everything and it's. Obviously, road signs, traffic lights, utility poles, fire hydrants, tons of parked vehicles, including an RV. All right, let's take a little look. And because he called the cut, the Guardsmen called the cops immediately, then the press, not immediately. So there was breaking news copter seven was in the air, too sweet.
And the entire twenty three minute drive was it was broadcast the entire time. Karen Kilgariff. Twenty five year old eyeballs. I was just like in the living room smoking.
Like I have to stop taking speed. I'm seeing my own future. Oh that's blurry. That's true. I mean, they're all going to be a little blurry. Yes, I've totally seen that. That's a fucking streetlight.
What was he listening to on his Discman? Had to be Slipknot to be a Slipknot. Oh, yeah.
They didn't they weren't even invented yet. And he was just like play. Yeah.
I don't know if they had an old like a boombox right there. Right.
I mean even flow something like that definitely was a show. He was. What do you listen to on meth.
Oh everything at once.
You just press play a cacophony, you scream over the music as it's playing and just listen. Um. Oh yeah. We're like, well I have to take a picture for the insurance man. Oh, Juan, I don't care that it's dangerous.
They're going to need a picture. Oh. Oh my goodness. That's glorious. You know, that that car was like immaculate on the inside. It had a box of Kleenex up in the back. Yes, it was. She armorel those seats every day and then fuck just Latin checked all those boxes of Kleenex is in the trunk when the one in the back ran out.
She was actually the Claremont neighborhood's Kleenex dealer, which is it's that's a whole different. Yeah, that's my story that I'm that year. Yeah. Look at it and the Pinto. And there's a flood because he probably had a fire hydrant. He hit lots of fire hydrants, apparently. Oh, apparently. Oh, my God. And you know what else he did is he took down some power lines and some some utility poles.
So 50, 100 San Diego fans were left with no power.
So everybody else was love.
They're like, look at this, live in low speed chase on the news. You have to come and watch this. And then I gather around.
Yeah, certainly I can't watch it and I'm cold.
It's only going to take me about 20 minutes to find my spot on this piece of paper.
Again, the tank had a fuel range of three hundred miles, but it could only go 30 miles an hour.
What a bummer.
So now San Diego police, San Diego County Sheriff's Department, Highway Patrol and the military police are all involved in what is arguably the slowest high speed chase in American history.
We have a look at the military men, and that's just a pity. It's just a shame, you know, not to waste. It's always. It's always what kind of like this is not my America. You know what, I think we should put locks on these gates. I really do and I do. And I'm going to bring it up at the next meeting. I think it's important. OK, here's the here's this. Remember this shit?
I mean, wow.
Yeah, you're going blue.
What are each of those cops listening to? What are each of those cops listening to Tony Robbins books on tape just about being positive and staying positive.
And they get on their walkie talkies myself. Press play at the same time because they want to be at the same part with each other already. One, we're going to play three on three or after three, press it when it snows. We are one, two, three. Yeah, like we don't never got to be clear. Tell me. Tell me more. I can't. Are you so Rusty.
What was it always this hard to turn page. OK.
He went ok before he got to the freeway. He so he's driving around as I said, Claremont. Then he goes north on Convoy Street West.
You guys, you love it. You might want to hold for all these streets. You can absolutely individually cheer for every fucking street if you want to. But I'm going to name a couple. He goes north on convoy. He goes west on to Balboa, OK?
God, I love that one. Balbo is a male saying, oh, OK, I just love the asphalt on it.
It's so smooth. There's that one Starbucks drive through. There's never a lot we have to go there tomorrow. Then he gets on the eighty five s. Do you know that on one in one of our live shows, we made jokes or maybe on that just regular podcast we make jokes about what freeway are you? Someone asked us in a Q&A episode of Wajib, and we answered it totally fucking earnestly for somebody, because it's like a great question. And we're like, oh, that's interesting.
Then at a live show at the last tour, these lovely women, of course, you don't know their names or can't describe them in any way. But still, there's Grant. There's so much gratitude there. They give us these lovely boxes, we open them. They're little pendants with little freeway signs of the freeways. We said we were and I almost cried. I go, Did you make this for us? And the girl goes, No, no.
She's like, Don't be gross. I don't like you that much. I like shopping for people. Yes, yes. It was amazing that you're five. Someone get the someone be the five. Yeah, it's it's somebody nice and wide. Thick. Fine, I'll do it. I'm good, I'm good with it.
OK, so while he's driving down this freeway, he tries to take out a pedestrian bridge with no listen, it sounds maybe crazy, but then if you're on drugs and you're in a tank and you're doing it anyway, when you drive up on some shit, you're probably like, well, let's just see if I can knock this down before this ends terribly.
Yeah, he rams it a couple of times. Nothing happens, so he keeps going.
Oh, my God. Yeah. He marches on to route one. Sixty three south. Huh.
You guys love your freeway. Yeah.
Well, that one is especially amazing because of all the trees that hang over. Oh yeah. Yeah. Is that true. I just made it up. The people who have never listen to this podcast more so than the actual murder part are like, why are people fucking cheering? Like why are they cheering for murderers when they're not trying for murderers? But then they're like, why are they trying for a fucking freeway? It's the best. There's something about it.
We were like, I have to sit on this piece of shit every day. Now somebody is talking about it. I'm going to be like, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that's my freeway that makes me suffer every goddamn day. OK, anyhow, almost done.
So they when he merges onto that street, officials close the freeway. So now everybody on this fucking what looks like a twenty four lane freeway is stuck, stopped and they're just stopped on the freeway.
Yeah. And that's, that basically happens all over San Diego because so.
Oh and then I wrote and when they find out why they're into it. Because what have you. Yeah. If somebody is like oh all this traffic stopped and you're like trying to find out why is that. Yeah. Who the fuck did whatever. I mean turn off my Tony Robbins. Right. So yeah. And then someone's like someone's driving a tank all over the place and be like yes.
I hope he drives it over here with you. Yeah. Drive by my house. Yeah. Yeah.
There's also on the dolloped there is they mention Dave watched video of a guy who watched the tank go by.
They had like they had the audio of the guy talking about it and he said he knows that little guy went by his head was sticking out. He was smiling, having a great time. Yeah, so there is maybe a little light in the end of the tunnel in this story, it's not called math, that's for sure. There's a light at oh no, that's more math.
OK, so the police, they're like, we have to stop this, because obviously this fucking mayhem and insanity and fire hydrants shooting kids is a little embarrassing for the department. Very embarrassing for the military industrial complex. They're not liking it that much.
OK, so they start trying to plan the police and law enforcement, start trying to plan with the Marine Corps at Camp Pendleton how they're going to stop the tank and. Right.
Go paignton the fighting. Oh, God. Just do it fighting. Don't overthink it. Yeah.
You've got this is I'm talking about. I screwed it up. All I got is kitchen cabinet.
Yes. Great. Because of a kick a kitchen cabinet came running at you on a football field. You're fat. Yeah. Go go and anthropomorphise ised. Is that right cabinet. That's right. Being like, what's up? We're going to beat you all. Elbows, slivers, slivers, slivers. OK, sliver. We're talking about Camp Pendleton like it's college and we know that that's incorrect. We know that. Yeah. My brother went there to that college.
Did he did he go to Camp Pendleton College for the Marines? Are you serious? Yeah. All right.
I would never I would never joke about such a thing. Please never joke about anything like that.
OK, so basically you're talking to the Marines. They're like, who can stop a tank, anybody? And the Marines are like, listen, we've got a COBRA attack helicopter that we're willing to bring in. Fuck. And guess what? We have it here because we put a lock on the gate. Yes.
They just, like, wanted to rub it in a little.
You've noticed you've never heard of any civilian driving our COBRA attack helicopter. Right. There's a simple reason.
Yeah, it's called a it's called being good at stuff. So. Right.
Is they're planning this, which just imagine that then you're watching the news and then a fucking attack helicopter, which I don't even know what that means, just like any helicopter covid an attack helicopter. Really?
Is it one of those ones? It just tilts forward really intimidatingly the whole time.
And that's a video game. Oh, I don't know. I don't either. I didn't go to Camp Pendleton. We better we need to go this summer to Camp Pendleton and just fucking do some arts and crafts. Stop it. Please don't tell the Marines. We said we're fucked, we're fucked. OK, right. Is they're about to send the Cobra attack helicopter, which I'm not only going to look up on Wikipedia tomorrow, but I might get a model of it and make it.
Yes, that's when Sean Nelson decides he's going to cross the freeway divider on the freeway to, like, basically make a big old U-turn.
He's going to flip a tank bitch on the freeway.
Yeah. Into oncoming traffic, but he gets stuck on the divider.
No, that's the one thing that he can't that's the one thing the tanks can't handle. It's about three feet of cement, kind of shaped like the Atari logo. I can't think like now. They're like, now I can't do this. I can't do this anymore. So he gets basically caught onto it and he's stuck there and he's just trying to get off.
So all those police cars pull up, pull around and a couple of cops get up on top.
They get the tank open and an officer tells Sean Nelson, take your hands off the controls and we're getting you out of this tank.
And he does not take his hands off the controls and he looks up at the cop. The cops said he's just dead eyed and then went back to trying to get the tank off the divider. Oh, my God, that cop shoots down into the tank.
What shoots him in the shoulder and that bullet goes through and pierces his heart.
Holy shit. That's awful.
So they pull Nelson out of the tank and he is rushed from the scene.
He later dies at Sharp Memorial Hospital at the age of forty four. Wow. Yeah. I did not know it was ending that way. Right. We were having so much fun.
I know I told you the remember the the roller coaster metaphor I used. Yes. I should have listened to the name of this Pog. You should listen to his podcast. It's really negative.
The only local news station that aired that moment was KGTV Channel 10. Oh, they're always doing shit like that. I'd hold on the cheering for one second.
They they continued to shoot, as know, to look with a camera as Nelson's body is pulled out of the tank. And that's how Sean Nelson's brother Scott found out that his brother was driving the tank and was now shot. And he didn't even know they didn't know who it was before that.
Right. It was just I mean, just a fucking fucking dude in the tank. Nameless, faceless tank. It's a tank.
So even though he ran over 40 cars, downed power lines, caused power outages and traffic jams around the city, miraculously, the only person hurt or killed during the tank rampage was Sean Nelson.
Yeah, yeah. Uh, the state of California ended up paying the bill for all of that fun. Oh, he got the last laugh was who has the last laugh? Yeah, he got it. Who has the last laugh? Georgia asks those with a tank. That's right. It amounted to one hundred and fifty thousand dollars in 90s money.
Yeah. And shit. And now all military tanks in the state.
After that, all military tanks in the state were relocated to Camp Roberts in San Luis Obispo and Fort Irwin in Barstow.
Yeah, keep them safe there. Those San Luis Obispo. Yes, well, that yeah. Turns out San Diego lost their tank privileges after that was a cool and inclosing. Sean Nelson's brother Scott said, my brother was a good man. He'd help anybody. He just couldn't help himself.
Do not do crystal meth. I'm not kidding. And that is the San Diego tank rampage of nineteen ninety five. Why the oh, that's it on the medians, yeah, oh, I see how it got stuck. That's him getting taken away. OK. Horrible.
How the fuck am I going to follow that? I'm sorry. Shit. Blame the National Guard. I don't can do it. That was amazing. Thank you. Great job.
All right, I'm going to tell you, Karen, OK, and you may have seen this on an episode of Forensic Files that was called. This episode was called Hand Delivered, which you'll find out wait a minute, this is the murder of Don Hardin.
You'll see. OK, thanks. Yeah, that's OK. That's really supportive. It doesn't sound as good. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't have the word tank in there. How the fuck am I supposed to compete with that? But we're not. You're not supposed to. I'm not competing. We're now in a different individual reality.
OK, here we are. Well, we're still in the fucking 90s, April 1994. Can't get away from the fucking 90s. Ten things about to happen. Really know bad things.
You know, this is and these workers at the San Diego Fiber Corporation, they're sifting through some cardboard and recycling bin, breaking shit down. You know how they have to do the kind of person who puts a cardboard box in the recycler without breaking it down. Yes, me too.
I mean, I don't carry an Exacto knife in my fucking pocket. Sorry, I'm not the janitor. The shame I get from Vince, I'm just like I'm just heard him.
Who cares? Just kind of smash it with your hand. I'm going to put other stuff inside of it. OK, we'll get it next week. Yeah.
Unfortunately, these fucking dudes are doing the cardboard shit and they happen upon a gruesome discovery to dismembered human hands.
Oh. Or a pair of them. Two matching hands. A right and a left. Yes. Of the same person. Right. But there's no person in like fucking Forensic Files pan delivered episode.
You get it. Why they're so clever. Thanks Dad. Good Pundak good dad.
They show the fucking hands. I swear to God they're just like here they are. I know. I'm like I can't. What if I showed you these. No, no sane I wouldn't.
You can look yourself later. It's terrible. It's fucking ham. What's crazy also like you're working at the recycling plant.
I bet you they're on like just pins and needles constantly because they're like this is where something awful is going to show up. Yeah.
I mean, they're just like every single thing. It's just like, hey, dude, it's just a Pepsi bottle. Well, I got what it that's what I would be a scaredy cats over there. Yeah, that was what you're saying. Yeah. OK, so the hands are brought to the fuckin lab, you know.
Now can I ask an inappropriate question always since we don't know who we're talking about and we're still in the early. Okay.
Do you think people carried the hands like this handshake style.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. My brain showed me a picture and then I said the words about the picture. I'm sorry. That's the name of this podcast. Oh, you know, someone did that there. There's an X right now. It's good. It's come back here. Okay. Okay. No, I'm here. I was totally in the same corner just between friends. OK, there's no shame here. We're all good. OK, but take your binoculars out.
This is the portion where you OK, so they x rayed the hands to see.
I don't know. And they show that the joints, there's degenerate damage in the joints. It's just consistent with someone over 60 and they're like, oh these look like dude hands. They're dudes hands. So it's guy over sixty. It's pretty clear. Yeah. I mean, unless you're a piano player. Oh really.
Two ladies. Piano playing You know, I always like lotion up and wear gloves and stuff. No, no.
Based on these fucking hands that they just show you on Forensic Files, they're like clearly older man's hand, OK, the size of the bulk up above the right.
There's one distinctive feature which they're hoping will identify eventually the person there's a thumbnail missing, like permanently or whatever. I know detectives check local hospitals and morgues are like, does anyone not have their hands? And quick question and then I'll let you go to lunch. Yeah, and there isn't any meanwhile and this is related maybe. Meanwhile, across town, a woman named Mary and a woman named Terry Sisters, I just.
Yeah, it's not their fault, their moms fault.
They're beginning to worry because they haven't seen their father in over a week.
Right. His name's Don Hardin. And they call everyone no one's heard from him or like, where the fuck is he?
On April six, they hire a locksmith to get inside his house.
They his cane is still there is prescription medications all there. He's not there. And they there's like a TV guide open in March twenty eighth, which makes them think that that was the last time he was home.
I know TV Guide is used to be such a like thing like, you know, it's open to the TV guy. Yeah. Like people would keep it there. Just be like what is on tonight. Like that was before anybody would tell you anything before the information age when I was. Up to you to find out what the fuck was going on. Yeah, well, that's yeah, his TV, VCR and microwave are all missing.
I hope that was one machine. Wouldn't that be right when they made that?
And that TV guide was about everything where it's like put in popcorn now. Oh, an idea. The commercial break. Brush your teeth and now diagnosis murder. So and also Don Horton's pickup truck is gone. And so the sisters file a missing persons report. Let me show you his picture.
He is an old Navy man, you know. Yeah. He was a beard visionary. He knew what was coming in the future of the beard. Trentino. He was totally from Brooklyn.
So that's that's done. Retired widow moved to San Diego to be closer to Marion Terry and.
OK, so, well, they filed the missing persons report. Police here that this guy, Don, is missing a thumbnail on his hand. And so they know immediately that the fingerprint analysis and the hands are those of had lied about his age. He's 74, OK?
He's a retired Navy pilot, and they search his home and find evidence of robbery, but no signs of forced entry. They look out for stolen items at pawn shops and shit. But the only thing that's found is his wallet, driver's license and some army medals in a dumpster, which is crazy that they were even found right in the kitchen.
It's obvious to detectives that there's been clean up and then as well as a trail of blood from the kitchen to the living room, they do the luminol shit, you know.
Yeah. And the shower curtains missing. Always a bad sign. And they find blood stains, et cetera.
They do the luminol and large pools of blood in both the kitchen and the bathroom are found. One of the investigators said it was the most luminol he's ever seen light up in his life. And he said it glowed like a Christmas tree. So so the worst Christmas tree ever.
It's so funny to like, as you say, the word luminol.
It's like you can track how it like a crime scene investigation has developed because before the DNA thing, it was all about that luminol.
It was like tolerance. AAC Files episode, every forensic files. There was a moment where there's like the B roll footage of like a light going on and everything turning horribly blue. I wonder if they still even use it.
And I'll make some calls. I think your DNA tests show a DNA test from ninety four, which I'm sure a great show that the blood is Donovans and the amount of blood the forensic pathologist is like he didn't this is he died for sure.
And then they were like also he was dismembered in the bathtub based on the blood.
I know it sucks. So police tell the Hardin's daughters and they're completely in fucking shock because they don't know anyone who would want to kill her dad. He is like a lovely man to that, you know, kind of man. And one of and as evidence to this, he always aided homeless people.
And one of the ways he did that was hiring them to do odd jobs around his property. And he would let them live in a camper in his backyard as well. Foreshadowing but neighbors.
Well, let's see. Um, but come on, we're going to OK. And the daughters were like kind of glad that someone was there with them so they could keep an eye on him in case of emergencies. An older man uses a cane.
And in on March twenty eighth, the day that the TV guide was open to ninety four, Don is last seen by neighbors driving his truck. And one of those homeless men is a passenger in that truck.
His name's Dale Wittmer. He's a 41 year old drifter who police. He's a record for vagrancy and intoxication, but no history of violence.
And they see him later in the truck. And Don isn't there. And he they see him backing up close to heartens house and putting shit in the truck and littering the days.
So they pick him up for questioning. He denies knowledge of Don's whereabouts, doesn't know what happened to him. He says he loaned him the pickup truck that hadn't seen him since and says that he worked for Don Hardin on and off for years. And he thought of the old man almost like a father figure. But friends and neighbors are like, no, he fuckin doesn't, because he was talking shit all over town about Don Hardin. And he said he would that Don had a bad temper and he was always calling him names and poking at him and Mike yelling at him, he says, because he was like working around his house.
That's was that was his side of the story.
So. So they ask him to do a polygraph test. He's like, nope, out of there. And he's. Obviously, the lead suspect, but they only had circumstantial evidence. There's no other, you know, body parts to be tested, so there's no other leads and the case goes cold.
And then a year later, police received an anonymous letter. Oh, wait, I have a photo of Dale Wittmer. Oh, Patrick.
Fucking Swathi. Oh, his evil twin brother. Yes. This was before the outsiders.
Yeah, I we've said it a thousand times, but you do transition lenses, 17 red flags in a row and you don't let your convenience of having sunglasses indoors to intentionally creep people out so they can't watch your pupils as they narrow and as you find your prey. Yeah. Just don't, just don't. Absolutely not. We're against them. So OK. A year later they received an anonymous letter and in the letter it details the murder of Don Harten.
And then it's a bunch of shit that hadn't been released to the public. However, then they were like, look for the fact that he was dismembered in the bathtub. And it's like, well, where the fuck else would you could have guessed that pretty easily. Yes, that's true. Like, I don't know.
But they knew that.
And so they the cops thought it was legit. And the writer was like, I know all this info, my friend.
Let's call him Bob. He was he's the one who who knows that who the killer is because he told him about it.
And it's Dale Wittmer.
So that he said he killed him because Dale hated Don Hardin and he and he was a heroin addict.
So also he wanted to punish it.
And he claims that he put the body into the bathtub, dismembered it, and then put it in garbage bags bearing different bags all over the county and in Mexico. Wow. Yeah. And the fucking. Yeah, fucking. Yeah. Yeah, truly.
So the letter goes on to say that this person, Bob, who had told the letter writer about it, won't come forward to testify against Dale. He doesn't want to tell anyone about it. And the letter writer says, quote, I asked him to contact you directly, but he didn't feel like he could do it. Bob is convinced that Dale will know Bob is the source of the information and may try to silence him or hurt him in some way.
So this fucking person doesn't even want to talk about it. And it's clear to the police that the person who wrote the letter does want to help, though. So they're like, let's find this person who wants to be anonymous. OK, great.
So here Luminol. No, let's put Luminol on everything right now. So the forensic document office and San Diego Police Department, they analyze the letter. And so here's the thing.
This is a mistake, but you shouldn't but you won't make in the future, I guess, when you're committing a crime or writing an anonymous letter he doesn't put the person who sent it doesn't put a stamp on it.
He puts it through the office automatic. You know, the stamp machine. Sure he does that.
That's a mistake because the postal meter, the it prints a number on the envelope with the stamp of the number of the serial number of the meter. But the guy person who wrote the letter was like, I'm smarter than this. I'm not going to give them that number. And he uses just White-Out.
Yeah. So he went out of his way to conceal that number.
He knew it. You know what it would do, but he didn't cut it teeny tiny scissors and get rid of it.
You might abuse the thing that never worked and shouldn't have been invented because I can't tell you how many book reports. The piece of binder paper weighed three pounds because I fucked up so many words. And it's just big clumps of like weird white case with like, torn. Yeah, no, no. Which is like also so pure at heart. This person was like, I really want to talk about this murder. I don't think it's right. I'm going to you know, he's just like clearly let me get my school supplies and see what I can do.
Yeah. Let's see.
So obviously the forensic document experts, we're like, are you fucking kidding me? This is this is I could do this in my sleep, bro, but it's an episode of Forensic Files, so they need to make it long.
And so they let her they look for trace evidence, latent evidence and that and then they eventually just turn the envelope over, cut it in half, hold it up to the sun.
Yeah. And use like what essentially sounds like a like a fucking blacklight like or a fucking what are those lava lamps.
It's that easy. You dip it into the top of a lovely and comes out and they find the serial number when they and it turns out the serial number of it reveals the state, the city, the street name and the office address to the postal meter like it couldn't be. Hobbies, horoscopes, every single thing, right? It's a business located in La Mesa, California.
The owner of the company is a dude named Mark Davis, and he's a bishop at the Mormon Church. So the cops walk in and he's like, fuck, I've never trusting white out again.
And he's like, look, the source of the information because he was the writer, because someone had told him about it, right? Yeah. Yeah. So he was like, here's like, first of all, I'm wearing secret underwear.
Secondly, let me just get this off my chest. I'm wearing a strange garment, OK, anyway, and I hate White-Out. So he's like, here's the thing. The person who told me about it is a member of my church.
So I have, you know, privilege, whatever, church privileges, privileges. So I don't have to tell you anything then and then Anana, that right. It's quoted and the cops are like, oh yeah, we're going to fucking take you to court and we're going to God's going to be like, those aren't your privileges anymore. And they do.
And God is like the judge is like, yeah, you can tell us. And the reason the judge rules against him and says that the the privilege was already broken when day when this guy Davis wrote the letter to the police. So that's true. But it's almost like, well, you broke it already. You might as well fuck it.
It's like kind of OK, you know, I'm on the judge's side. OK, well, so is everyone else. I am, too. Like, I went I looked at these people. I don't want it to be solved.
So they're like, dude, just tell us everything. And so Mark Davis, the Mormon Church bishop, is like, shit, OK? The person who told me about Dale Wittmer being the fucking murderer is Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints when he appeared to the Cowboys in Arizona.
That's right. One of those ones, it's it's Dales fucking daughter. What son? Daughter Andrea. Who was Bob?
Who told the bishop about the other guy?
Yes, like my dad's the one who did it. Right.
So so, yeah, she apparently he told her everything and she fucking told her bishop thinking it was privilege.
Oh, Bishop was like, I can't keep this and told. So on October twenty ninth, nineteen ninety six, Dale Wittmer is charged with Donovan's murder.
He pleads not guilty, but the star witness against him is his own fucking daughter who finds it. She's like, this is really hard.
I don't want to like I don't have to tell the truth on the stand because, you know, I swear to God and shit, but I don't want to betray my dad. But he's a murderer, so.
So she's fucking spilled the beans. Yeah. Oh, I have a photo of her. She's like, this is her in court. Yeah. She's like Jesus.
Really awful secret undergarments. So so they prosecutors theorize that Wittmeyer disposed of the body parts in numerous dumpsters.
Already said that to this fucking day the only thing that's ever been found was the hands. Really? Yeah. How crazy is that? It just makes you wonder what's in landfills and shit.
Well, that's why we're going to go to one tonight. Everybody do it after a party.
I was thinking we should go and open all the cages at SeaWorld and let all the animals out.
You're free. Why are you leaving all those fish cages? You're free. Come on. Come on.
Why are you sitting there like we've only ever lived here? We don't. Please don't make us go out there. We don't know how to catch fish unless someone throws it from a bucket. Someone train us. They want to be there. No, no, no. It's like your Aunt Diane's response. They love it. They're like we went and that worker was smiling. No, no. You just have vacation. Gilt's. OK, so the jury, of course, finds Dale Whitmore guilty of second degree murder and a sentence he sentenced to 15 years to life in prison.
But the eligibility of parole in just 10 years.
Yep. And so he has petitioned for parole but is denied every time.
Thankfully, the parole board is like cites the fact that he hasn't taken part in any rehab program or he's and he's not working better himself behind bars.
And he let's see, he doesn't show any remorse and is considered a risk to the public. So he hasn't been paroled.
Go. Yes. Yes. Hey, something to clap for after the trial dawns. Oh, wait.
Let me show you this one. And that's him looking like Patrick Swayze.
He again, doesn't he look like yellow hair? Everything's beige.
He goes and he turns his face. Sunglasses and hair.
Yeah. After the trial, Don Martin's hands are cremated and his ashes are buried by the US Navy at sea off the coast of California. His daughters feel closure after their father has his proper, proper burial at sea because it was one of his final wishes that they were able to carry out.
That is the murder of Don Hardin, a.k.a. Hand Deliver and Delivered and hand. It's so especially awful, it's like we talk about things where it's random crime, we talk about things where it's like in the horrible in the family crime. But this is a person who got murdered because he was helping somebody.
And that's fucking awful. Never help people if you leave your with anything tonight is keep your all your money in your pocket and also leave here with those binoculars in your purse.
I dare you. The message is steal the binoculars, everybody.
We don't know why we wish we did the fucking theater, like charge us for like they told them to steal the binoculars, come out of permission from the state. Do we.
Time for its time. Oh. Oh my God. I'm sitting down for so long. Oh, it's all right. Ed, it's April, everybody. What's up? Yeah. So our manager husband extraordinaire, you got us off that overpass. I'm in a legal contract with the lady in the lobby to get those killers back. Oh, did you take them now? OK, stage or not, it's they don't fuck around with the binoculars.
And I've had this I've got some cash back.
I'm going to be right over there. OK. OK, thank you. Thank you so much, Vince. Everybody. Vince Abreau holding it down, making it happen for us. Right. Hey, OK. I think it's important to state that this is the first fucking home town of twenty nineteen.
Yes. This is more let's run down. I want you the same rules. I always do. Most people know them.
This is we forgot to say. I think in the beginning there are definitely some people in this room who a got brought by another person have no idea what's going on and still don't to this moment. Welcome. Hi, how are you. Thank you for not leaving. Thank you for giving us the benefit of the doubt. Thanks for just having that weird smile on your face and rolling your eyes. We can't see you. It's perfect. We one of our last shows last year there was we found this out afterwards when we met some people in the meet and greet line.
Remember this? There were I can't remember what city we were in.
Maybe it was Austin and there were some older ladies who came to the show because they thought it was murder mystery theater.
I forgot all about that. Yes. How have we not talked about that on the podcast? I know we have to we'll have to put that on our list. But to know these girls that sat next to these ladies said that in the beginning they're like, what's this? They thought it was going to be like a an interactive play. And meanwhile, we're like, fuck shit and also fuck. Yeah. And they left. No, they did not say OK.
Yeah, all right. That was it. There was a different show where people got up and stormed out because they were season ticket holders and they thought it was Phantom of the Opera Part two. Yes. Yes. Because of our because of the picture poster where we got serious because I'll only show half of my face, it makes you look serious and mysterious. They thought it was the sequel to Phantom of the Opera. Yeah, it's nothing better than those audience stories when we get up there.
OK, so anyway, the point is, what we're trying to say is this is a part where George will pick somebody out of the audience to come up and tell everybody their hometown story.
Please keep in mind that this is a humongous theater. The lights are going to be up and it's going to be very nerve racking.
So it'll be great if you're not drunk or on meth, it's better or you can be a little drunk, but you have to be able to follow your own story and it has to be local or everyone will reject you socially.
And it's really good if it's a little bit maybe weird or uplifting or there's some kind of a part of that's not the end yet. A little pop, as George likes to say.
And then just remember that if you get picked, everyone else hates you. So hurry the fuck up.
All right. Now, if we could have the house lights up just for a second so Georgia can pick the first hometown. Thank you. Yeah, I know. Oh, I hate doing this so much. You shaking your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was. Sorry. Holy shit. Hey, get your binoculars out while she's on her way. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm looking.
Oh she's got a midriff shirt on. She fucking parties. This is going to be amazing. You can bring those house. Thank you. Yeah. You know. Thank you.
The light person is on I here. Oh my God. Look at your outfit. Delaney, this is Amy. Everybody say hello to her. Yes. I love your outfit. She wore her show clothes. So imagine this material. But in tight pants is what I had is what I wore sweating so much tonight. It's crazy. You sweat a lot. And by last, I guess, right? Yeah. Where are you from, Delanie? I am from San Diego.
I live in Alpine, which is way east. It's kind of like the Petaluma maybe of San Diego, kind of like everybody has, like farm animals. And I like my neighbors have donkeys and it's crazy awesome. But anyway, it's my home town, so I just dulaney on the Petaluma parallel. It's just like. We'll see, we'll see. I, I was waiting for you to be like in your hometown, but you just stared and that was a serious power move on my body.
I don't know what I'm doing. OK, mine is the murder of Danielle van Dam. Oh yeah. It was pretty crazy. So she was murdered and about I think it was twenty two and she was just about the same age as I was when it happened, which was about six, seven years old. And I was so terrified that I slept to my parents floor of their bedroom for about five years. Wow. Yeah.
Years really. It was a couple of years they called somebody and they were like, what do we do. I mean, it's bad. Yeah, it was that was like a cut down or something. I slept in a sleeping bag for a while. Yeah, well, that's a very that's a very young age to like, realize something like that. Yeah, I know it was. Yeah. So she was a she lives and was abducted in Poway area but she was found her body a month later was found on the of road which is near Alpine.
It's very like rural. Yeah. Yeah. So what happened was it was early February 2002. She was her husband was ah the husband was home, the dad and tucked in Danielle and her brothers and the mom was out at a local bar and they were kind of known as being more like drinking parents. I know this one, you know. Yeah. Oh, my God.
The mom got home around when the bar closed with a couple of friends around 2:00 a.m. and she noticed, I think it was her garage side door was open and the alarm, their security alarm was off.
And so she kind of like blew it off like it was nothin hung out with her friends for a little bit and then went to bed with her family. And then a little bit later, the husband woke up, I think, to the alarm off again. And I believe it was a sliding glass door that was open.
So, again, kind of blew it off like it was not. Then went back to bed and about nine thirty the next morning, they woke all the kids up. You know, Danielle was missing nothing. It wasn't any worse. They called the cops immediately and I believe. At the time, it was the biggest search effort in all of California history for search teams.
And so it was a whole month that she was missing. They did not find anything.
And it was David Westerfield, her next door neighbor, I believe, two doors down, had abducted her in the middle of the night, taken her in his RV and then went out to Silver Strand State Beach, where you can beach camp over in Coronado and then out after that.
I don't know how long he was there, but it was about a month total. He went out to Glamis in the days after. And there's even videos you can find online of how he got stuck and how to get, like, pulled out people.
So when they found her, it was at the end of February. So it's just about a month.
And it was really a rural area. And they did not they could not confirm her cause of death or whether she was sexually assaulted.
And he they found the police found a ton of child pornography all over his computers and everything. So you can assume but yeah, they were able to find anything.
And at the time, they built a huge it was a pink staircase. I believe that was her memorial on dieser.
And I remember my brothers, we're taking it right across the street was a golf course and they were taking golf lessons.
So at the time I drove there every day, dropping them off the golf as a souvenir stands out all the time, I get arrested and shit. Yeah, he's I believe in San Quentin and I don't know if he got the death penalty or not. I can't remember. But I know he's always there for life, not the death penalty.
OK, say her name again, Danielle Delaney. No, no, no. The girls. Oh, Danielle van Dam. Danielle van Dam. There's a memorial overpass in El Cajon for her support. What's your name? I drive down there. That's great. Delaney, thank you so much. Great job. You guys give it up for her. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
Oh, shit, you find out when you're a little kid that's just like, oh, this is real life. I feel like most of us murder rhinos. That's what happened. Yes, exactly. Also, it's extra creepy, like being five or six when Delaney was. And then it's like, oh, a neighbor, you know what I mean? Like, so it's you you live in that world where you're like, oh, the neighbor, everybody's friends.
And we all the monster who did it is your fucking neighbor. Two doors down. That's fucking horrible over here. Well, wow.
That's how we like to wrap things up. Awful memories. Awful local memories. Yeah, but I'll remember, you know, the gold. Yeah, that's right.
Thank you guys for fucking being making our first show of the fucking year.
And that's it was that was that was amazing. Kick off. Yeah.
I mean, I don't know, this is this has been such an incredible experience. We have such a we have such a good time. Well then now when you do that but we have such a good time, the fact that we get to come out here, come to these shows, you guys bring so much energy and positivity and excitement and then we get to talk about this thing we're fascinated by. That's fucking horrible. It's very freeing. It's also very it's kind of very life affirming in a weird way.
It's like saying these are the things these are my biggest fears. And everybody else going, yeah, those are mine, too. And we get to laugh about it. We get to do things the way we want to do them. And we don't have to give a shit about who's judging us because we're all together. And that's an amazing feeling for us.
And we're glad that it's an amazing feeling for you to. And we just can't believe we keep getting to do this the start of like we keep waiting for, you know, not to sell out any hope, not tour because they're over it. Yeah, you guys are here. It's the beginning of a fucking big tour. Thank you so much again for supporting us. Yeah. You're saying you're here. We're here. It's very fun. And we thank you so, so much.
So much. You as a favor. Stay sexy and. In San Diego.