Hello and welcome to my favorite murder, that's George, a hard start. That's Karen Kilgariff. We're here to tell you something. Some things, some thoughts and feelings we know we're going to do.
We're going to podcast at. Absolutely. That's what podcasting is. Some doubts, some epiphanies, some TV viewing, some observations out our front windows. You know what I was just doing, speaking of front windows, did something I don't I've done maybe a handful of times during quarantine can I guess, OK, did you do like a leg show in the window for your neighbors?
Kind of. I danced. I danced.
Really? Tell us why. Tell us how. I don't know. I was hoping you'd dance. Thank you.
I don't know. I put on I never put on music. It's always a book or a podcast I put on. I just had therapy and it felt freeing. And I put on balance of action tonight to listen to a little bit, which I never do. And it's so poppy and fun. And I love it so much that I just started I kept saying, yeah, can I guess the song. Yeah. Or play with the Arab strap.
No, but they all sound, they all sound fun like that. So Tigerman to do that is. Yeah. Tiger I just started dancing and Kookie was like what are you a cook. He's never seen me dance before so she was a little confused.
But then I went on my balcony and for the whole world to see I just started dancing.
So yeah, there was a little like show night is so good.
I think everyone should try it in the privacy of your own home, of your own room alone and then the public of your own balconies. Right. Pretend like Urbancic. No one's watching. But then there were a helicopter went by.
Of course I was like, what's the cops? The cops man?
Like fun and freeing and felt and was weird and lovely. I really like that idea because I think there are real there's real science behind the idea of when you you process something and then you move your body. Yeah.
And it actually helps you physiologically process whatever it might have been talking about, what might might have been an instinct that. Yes. And my therapist is there's this thing called pony sweat that's like a lead, but casual fun, great music. Do be yourself dance like Zoom.
And it's just like really open to all kinds of people. And she's always telling me to do it and I need to. But, you know, I feel I feel weird and I'm the weird one, so I never do it. But it definitely like boost your mood. It's a serotonin fucking boost.
I wonder if that's the kind of thing I find that with streaming things, you can go on there with your camera off and do whatever you want. You can truly sit and judge all of this as they do it. And then you're like, I'll decide. Yeah.
And then you see everyone having fun and you're like, I want them. I want to convey fun too with them because there's no judgment, you know.
And also the idea of I'm the one that's weird is just is the idea every person has. That's what every single person thinks. Right. I love that idea. I've actually heard I know a lot of the people that do pony sweat and have been like, no sweat, the Oju pony sweaters. And it's all the people that you know and love that are like, who gives a shit? Yeah, they wear cool clothes, but they're not trying to be cool.
They're just like effortlessly cool. They're trying to kind of dance away the onus of having to be cool. Yeah. And that, like, I think there's a lot of like body dysmorphia, like breaking those walls down and come as you are. And, you know, it's it's kind of lovely.
And I want to be you don't have to tape your breasts down. If you go to pony sweat, you don't have to, for the first time ever, dress silly and fun.
And I know people wear like wigs. And that's the hardest thing you could do, is the sweatiest pony that you could possibly pony. But maybe that's the point. It's like it's wig yoga. But but with kooky music.
Yeah, come on. Yeah, it reminds me of it's like the kind of thing that for me as a highly damaged gen or from the evil 90s, I watched the children do things like pony sweat and I say, thank God and good for you.
And I am not allowed to do that. I know you are. I am not even here. I was called by the band.
There's a band pavement called me and said, you're not allowed to be embarrassed yourself, your generation, but maybe your generation had had the had been allowed to do it.
You know, it would have been, you know, that you guys would need less therapy entirely. Well, it's in our generation. The option was do what everyone else is doing or be on heroin.
And it was hard to choose, sure, those are great choices, both of them, the I mean, they're very specific choices and they definitely guide you down a certain path. You feel like the freedom of poni sweat and the those kind of high concept like gals and guys, we're going to exercise but not exercise gowns and wear your purple sweats. Be yourself, be your true self words. Like my whole life, everyone was saying, could you please stop being yourself for four minutes?
Your style embarrassing to go on about. The ideas are too out there. Shut up. Yeah, I'm. So are you going to do it or did you already do it or you had your own personal pun. I had my own personal and it almost felt like, like a way to like introduce myself to group dancing solo to group and then who knows from there could go anywhere.
Then you signed up for phony sweat. But right as it starts, you go, excuse me, everyone, could you open your microphones? I'm going to. Well then I'd like to introduce myself. That's a Janet move.
You said Janet, would you everyone know she's just like always wants to make a speech, you know? Hello.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
On the second get on the side of her like water, plastic water bottle upon.
Yeah, ding, ding, ding. Everybody. Ooh every what.
Oh I'm being mean. But that's just her personality and that's why I don't have that personality. It's the whole like it's the it's the mindset from that I have that I can't do it. When she pull up to pick us up from somewhere, have complete eye contact with us and still this is her thing.
B, b, b, b, b, b, b.
What was Shavon America every time she picked us up from somewhere. And now as an adult, I know she was embarrassing us on purpose because we deserved it. And I know parents are so sick of their kids that any time they can get a little when and they'll take it. But at the time I was like, why are you ruining my life? I'm dying over here. Why don't you care? Why is it so funny to you that I'm in such intense, constant pain?
I already am a fucking nerd and I'm not one of the popular girls. So if you can make it not by Tyler, guess what? You're not helping me with the chocolate to Elizabeth's and the Jennifer's and the Megan to have normal names and don't get made fun of because their names are who are popular. Their moms are a, b, b, b, b, b, b, b looking at them, know they're their moms. Send a hired car.
That's right. Why can't you love me the way Jennifer and Jennifer's mother loves Elizabeth and Elizabeth with a Z never have to deal with this bullshit.
OK, Elizabeth with an S seems like the highest of maintenance. I know.
Did she make people call her Elspeth? What's wild have to be like that, Elspeth. That's what I would have called Elspeth. Elspeth Elzbieta. Speaking of Deitsch, my dad. Did I ever tell you about the time he had a white a 1970 white Ford truck, food that he bought cool not I was going to say bucket bench, front seat literally would fit like six kids in the front seat.
No, with no seatbelts.
No, I don't think they were in there at all. No. And he on the way to school one day, the horns started honking by itself and we were like, Dad, no, no, no, dad, dad, dad, dad.
He's like, well, there's nothing I can do.
And it was he was elated. He was overjoyed where we're like, do not believe me. It's like girls, I got to make sure you get into the building. And we were like sweating, crying and begging him not to do it. And he pulled right up to the front and stayed there with the like as if he was laying on the horn.
So everyone was just like, oh, I might need to get off of this podcast for a little while.
Oh, was that too much for you? Is triggering me.
Ah yeah. There's so much shame. There's like a like a fountain of shame at the front of every school when you're, you're just trying to walk into school and there's so many ways to get. Just entirely obliterated, which is almost like made being a latchkey kid even better, because then you just had no parents anymore to do good like fuckin Irish Goodbye school. You could you could dip in, see, see what you like.
And you're just like, maybe I will go to sixth period. But I'm one of the only kids that have keys to their house. So goodbye. Like, bye, good bye. Hey, I'm going I'm going to my apartment now that I live in alone.
Essentially, I understand some people think this place is a priority, but I think Scooby Doo is a priority. So let's let's get these mystery solved. And Maury Povich is not going to watch himself.
Jenny Jones and Maury Povich and Ricki Lake, by the way, guys, those are all after school TV shows that we watched obsessively. Like I think Ricki Lake just did not get enough credit. Absolutely. At the time for the kind of shit she was putting on. She was hers was a twist on. Yeah. And most of her show titles rhymed in some way.
And she put on a happy face to the whole thing, like she was a positive influence in my life. She was everyone's friend. She was like, Now hold on, because you've already been arrested for punching her in the face, but you're going to try to punch her in the face again.
Yeah, that's not OK. Audience What do you think?
Audience Do you want to see some makeovers and then for for no reason to make you know, essentially our podcast is a carry on of those shows from back then, you know, except our audience is just listening. We can't communicate with them. Unfortunately, we can't run up a Phil Donahue style, run up into the audience with the mic and be like. Alice from Georgia. Yeah, what do you think about all this? What do you think?
It's not very creative when I use your name as as the state you name.
It's right there.
It's right in front of you. What were you going to say about Belgium? Oh, I was just going to tell you, I think it's the Netherlands somewhere. I'm reading a book that's got really cool, weird names that's from there. And actually, if you want me, I want to hear me try to pronounce the name of the author. Please do fun.
Well, it's a it's a ghost story slash true crime whodunit. But if I can go see ghost times for shows like paranormal. Yeah. But it's like really beautifully written.
It's called I remember you. Yeah. It's like it's good.
It's the author's name is Yrsa SIGIR Da Toter and I did.
So I think I got that right, to be honest with you. I think you I think that's Bjork's zester, first of all.
And you're dead on, right? Yeah.
So just like if I remember you, I'm listening to it. It's beautifully written and beautifully written and so spooky and like did you say the first name's Ilsa yourself. So why are s.A. YRC. Yeah. And it's really it's like a cool distraction. This couple buys this decrepit old house on a Netherland's island and yeah. So redo it but it's fucking haunted as shit. And then like something's going on in the village that this like detective has to figure out and and his son passed away and like it's and is it, you know, ghost he ghost stuff.
OK, do you want to hear something like Lee mind blowing. Yeah. My recommendation for a TV series this week is also Belgin Whoa, wait, you said Netherland's but I don't know. Those are not the same but I don't know where the fuck it is. I just know I can't pronounce the name, so I'm just going to go straight to the Netherlands. Oh got it. OK, yeah. Sorry for, for some reason I thought when you very first mentioned it then I interrupted you back to to do the horn story.
I thought you said something about Belgium. I bet I did. And that could be right. That could be wrong or right too.
It can all be right and wrong. OK, my it's just we rarely talk about Belgium, so it's exciting that we would both be mentioned. Yeah. I found OK on my streaming services. Now this is how we know where I'm digging down to. The bottom of everything is because I discovered Sundance TV, which is one of the streaming choices on my TV, and began to scroll through it and was like, this is the streaming service for me.
This has all like foreign procedurals goes you go Scandinavian procedure Scandinavian. That's the word. Is that what you were looking for? Probably.
So there's a TV series on there called Public Enemy. There's already been to season.
All right. And I believe I think I read somewhere that they're working on a third, I thought it was French, but they I believe they're all speaking French, but it's it takes place in Belgium. Got it. But if you live in either country and would like to correct me thoroughly and in your mother tongue about it, I'm open, obviously, but it's just a really creepy good story that then has these. I just think I know what I prefer in my foreign procedurals.
As you know, the Scandinavians really have honed and refined it. And there's a stickiness to it, too, because it's also like Wicken, old timey and like nice. Everyone's nice. So but there's always something happening in the forest.
The forest is the key. Yes. To most of those. This has a major forest element out there. Once the process is done, I'm their public enemy. Another Sopranos. It just depends on what part of France you're from.
Italy. You know what I'm speaking.
Can I talk about Sopranos real quick or would you I talk to my therapist about this.
I feel like from his therapy, I'm learning it's extreme, but I feel like I'm learning a lot about therapy because he's the extreme version of avoiding his true feelings and the way he does it through violence and even humor a lot and anger.
But I'm I'm getting it in that his roadblocks are the extreme version of mine. Sure. And I think for people who are weary of therapy, it might be a good way to start to get it a little. And same with like shows like couples therapy. It might be a good way to, like, ease your anxiety about it is to watch these extreme examples, because then it feels like you have the bird's eye view. It's always way easier to see somebody else's stuff and be like, it's so obvious what they should be having a realization about.
But like, it never is obvious to yourself because we all have our own blind spots. I mean, everyone does, and every single person goes through like a very standard cycle of denial when they're getting to the good stuff. Yeah, because that's the hard stuff. So that's like, yeah, you watch Tony Soprano threaten his therapist because she would not ever break that just. And how does that make you feel? Yeah. Which I think she's she's an extreme example.
I think that it's a lot softer and a lot more questions and a lot more leading and kinder than she is, but not in New Jersey.
Sorry, you better wake up when you have an Italian therapist. It's in New Jersey and it's on a TV show and it's fictional that love Lorraine.
Lorraine Bracco has accents like that exact way she talks. She said it's so good and she's so good.
What else are you in the middle? Are you near the end? Feels like you've been watching The Sopranos for a while. The Sopranos know we're we're only we're in the middle. We're in season three of The Sopranos, but we're in season six of The Sopranos, you know what I mean?
So you know what that's like. You know what I mean? Like, technically, no. But I do want to mention a podcast, because last week I mentioned the Christian Smart case in San Luis Obispo, and it's called and I mentioned the podcast, your own backyard and that I hadn't listened to it. But it's a deep dove. It's hosted by Chris Lambert. And I can vouch for how fucking good it is.
It's great the vibes of the CDC creases.
Someone knows something and a lot of those like deep dives. But he's not a journalist. He's not a detective in any way.
He's just this is his hometown and he puts it all together and interviews the journalist and interviews the people obsessed with it who have who have deep, deep dove into it. And it's it's it's one of those infuriating ones, though, because whenever I said something about the investigators working their hardest. Yeah, there they did it. And there's so many missed opportunities and it's infuriating. And I really do hope something comes of it. And I think it will based on this podcast.
I had to I listen to it in a weekend and I just was like angry. But it's so good. And it's like it's such a it's such a crazy case. It's the fact that it hasn't been solved is absurd. Yeah, well, it's a that's a small town area in L.A. I mean, you know, that usually is the story where it's like people kind of out of their depth having to investigate the type of crime that they have absolutely no experience.
And then they they won't cop to it or that's or they're hiding something. They're pretty sure there's a reason for committing to something that's super sinister version. Yeah. Which, by the way, speaking of which, there's a website called the NOC, L.A. and they do. It's basically kind. Like local journalists and independent journalism, and there is an unbelievable article, like a series of articles about the the sheriffs, the L.A. County Sheriff's Department and the gang that exists inside it, little gang.
So I believe her name is Cherise Castle. It's spelled C. RISC. So it's either Sharifs or Surrey's. This is a story she's been chasing basically since last summer, since the protests started. And these stories kind of started cropping up around the protests and around the action taken. And it's it's like a multipart series. It's called A Tradition of Violence, The History of Deputy Gangs in the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department. And it's really groundbreaking journalism and really important.
So, yeah, it's hard to get that. Well, it's a kind of thing if the budget is gigantic and there's no oversight or the oversight we know, correct?
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's the kind of thing. Yeah. And it's a Web site called again, it's the it's not L.A.. OK, so it's not L.A. dot com. OK, and that's it's kind of a good thing where like when stuff was going on in the summertime, it was just a great thing to follow that was kind of keeping you up to date. And they were I believe they were the ones I found out about that Zoome City Council meeting where I served my time.
Fuck you became an international comedian. Will Welden got on and held forth in a brilliant way and said, I saved my time, but it was epic.
OK, so this is the the young comedians of Los Angeles just continue to impress with their involvement and their activism and actually getting into it. So it's a little more of that.
I have a corrections corner or like a clarification's corner that I thought was really cool. This is from Instagram. From Beliz, like the country. Yeah, I get it. Georgia, like the state always saying it says your reference to the possible Tyler Perry Madea connection. Madea is an honorific title in the black community given to the matriarch of a family.
Oh, this is notably explain in Maya Angelou.
I know why the caged bird sings. The name comes from the shortening of mother.
Dear Madea, are you serious? That beautiful.
Oh, my God, I'm going to cry. So thank you. Billie's just like the country. Ay ay. What a cool fact. That's. I love learning that and I'm embarrassed to have automatically assumed.
But Tyler Perry's brother lives their crop.
Hey girl, I was right there with you. We were in that. We were so excited.
Just like when you learn that people are friends growing up and you're ignorant. I was just right there in the forefront. And that's why we have listeners is I think that set us straight. Billy is good of you.
Good on you. Good of you. Thank you kindly.
So, Steve, can we go back and cut that out completely? Too late, right?
It's always too late. It's always I mean, hey, look, we're also big fans of topiaries. Wehrli. Good, good to know. Yeah. I also have a slight correction. And this was done with such a with such a gentle hand by a listener, Samuel Montez, who's at Zibo Cooper on Twitter. And he just let me know, the host of the podcast, The Opportunist, which I recommended last time. Her name is Hannah Smith.
And he wrote and said the name of the host of the opportunist is Hannah Smith.
It says it in the show's description and then like a laughing Jew.
But I swear to God, I remember I looking for it. I, I swear I opened on the at least on the iTunes app. I opened that show description and read that paragraph several times. Oh, OK. And didn't see her name in that. Well you know what then. That's nice. But also it's yeah. I wouldn't blame everybody else. But also this last time when I after he sent that and I laughed and I was like, oh my God, I went to look and one of the first reviews for it was a five star review that said Hannah Smith is sick.
OK, so if hopefully the fans and the people who listen and care are like, fine, we'll do it, we'll do it then. Karen, if if this is way easier for Karen. But anyway, I can't I can't wait for this podcast like the the current season is like mind blowing and everyone should listen to it. But I can't wait for the further seasons, which is the description of the show is stories about normal people who turned basically evil because of a.
Opportunity. It's such a cool car, I just think of the lottery and how it ruins everyone's lives. Yes, yeah. Sets people all. Have you ever had an experience like that? Oh, you mean when I won four hundred dollars on the giant slot machine in Las Vegas, I just change changed my entire purse.
I literally I put in like it's like a silver dollar and it was one of those big oversize ones. Yeah. It's like just almost like a demo. Yeah. And I pulled it and it just started going and then I literally turned out to the crowd was like, oh my God. And like nobody gave a shit. It was four hundred dollars. Like that's, you know, won and lost in three minutes. Yes. I guess. Yeah.
But I honestly was like looking for my crown and flowers was like, well thanks everybody. Well because you're going to lose it. But that would be like when I used to go to Vegas when I was young and had no money, like four hundred dollars was my if I, I would just blow it and it was like, well I'm fucked now because I thought I was going to win and yeah.
One night and I can afford White Castle. Same I every time I've gone.
I've never won except for like in an increment like that where in my mind I'm like I'm set for months and then it's and then like two hours later it's almost entirely gone. Who I had a friend get mad at this kind of maybe a similar I had a friend get mad at me when I won three hundred and fifty bucks on like a quarter slot and she was mad at me for the rest of the trip, like, like it should have been her like oh that's a good friend.
Yeah. Let's, let's walk through this and I like bought everyone lunch.
There's one hundred dollars gone. Yeah. Get your own fucking lunch. Exactly. So it was supposed to be me is the fucking most hilarious attitude you can have on Las Vegas.
I wanted the next time we go to Vegas I'm going to walk through the casino floor and if I even hear a bell ring, I'm going to turn to go.
What that was supposed to be me. It's the thing of when someone says, I'm really careful with this. If someone says to you, I'm so jealous of you rather than I'm so happy for you, it's a really big indicator of their personality. So so you and a lot of times people say it themselves, not meaning it. So just be aware when someone gets something great and you are jealous, it's fine. It's a normal emotion. Just say I'm happy.
I'm so happy for you now. I'm so jealous of you because it just changes the connotation completely. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I mean there's everybody say it before. Maybe you're just jealous of me but I'm not jealous of anyone.
I have everything. No, no, no.
It's because I think there's also people it's totally to the person. Right. Because there's people who could say that to you and you wouldn't take it the wrong way. You'd actually take it as almost like I'm confiding in you that I'm being evil because that's how good this accomplishment is. Yeah. As opposed to there's people who could go, I'm so happy for you. And their words are like, nice. Yeah. We were like, no, you know, you're not you're not.
My gut says no to this. You're male, is angry.
Your smile is filled with blades. Yeah. But also I think there's a time all of the time in my life where I hated people the most for having things are getting things or winning three hundred dollars. And it's there's been plenty.
It's just the reflection of a complete lack in my own life. And so it for so long I just be, you know, would be like what I should have that not them. And then after a while you get a little something of your own. Yeah. And then you start to go, oh, I'm not I'm not supposed to have what the other people had or they're them having.
It does not take away my opportunities and abilities to know I'm supposed to get mine in my own special way. And that's the only way, because if I was handed what they had, I wouldn't care about it. You have to kind of like put some skin in the game and and earn your own and get it. And then you go like, wow, this is really sad. But it also, you know, that that also goes hand in hand with being addicted to shit where you're just kind of like, I need a thing and I demand you're just kind of like, all right, well yea that doesn't do you have another drink, you're going to oh you're going to be so much happier after that.
Oh I feel that in my bones. And if I did wait did I have one other thing. No I just have, I remember you and then the name Yrsa written underneath it. So that's yours.
I think that's it. Right. Oh we have a little bit of business. Yeah, but it's fun. It's like I don't think we should call it business. It's more like we have a little bit of party time.
We have a little bit of an exciting announcement. Yeah. We do get guys know that when you put a book. It's hard a hard I mean, like physically hard, and then eventually it gets soft. That's right.
In both experience and material. Yeah. And so our stigma say sex, you don't get murdered. The book that came out in hardback is now being released. Soft bound. Yeah.
On May 11th, which is my birthday this year.
Do you know it turns out I'm working on a birthday present for you with your sister's help. I'm really bad at surprises.
I'm not telling you what it is. It's a safari gift card, but it's really special and it's going to make look, you know what? It's true for your birthday.
Amazing. All right, Billikens because your fiftieth last year had to be in quarantine. So I'm going to make fifty one to double time special.
Oh well I love that. I guess I should do the same for you since you had your fortieth to you. That would be great. Blow it out. We'll blow it up. I'm going to get your confetti cannon not to give it away, but that's what got me in it again. Yeah. You're going to love it back to us.
Our book is. Yes, it's going to be out. This is a book announced. It's going to be out so you can preorder it, which is really great. If you're if you're going to buy it, please preorder it. That's just all we're asking because it just helps with, you know, I don't know, popularity, popularity numbers.
No, there's some sort of numbers and it's the same like great reviews. Subscribe on podcast.
It's preorder for books. Exactly. And and while you're at it, why not preorder it from your local independent bookstore? Always a cool move. Yeah, but here's a little extra carrot that we're going to dangle for you. There is a little bit of a sample of something that we've been working on that's in the soft cover, where we're calling it that. The paperback version of the book, let's call it inside scoop.
The if you order it, you're going to get a little sneak peek at what we've been looking at. So all of that is going to be possible for you in two months, May 11th. Twenty twenty one.
Essentially, there's a new chapter in the book and it's a sneak peek. And it's and it's so it's extra content then. Yes. Then the hard version, the flaccid version has extra content. Let's not call it the plus. You know, my best way of getting the book is a secretion of our emotion.
Submit your drink. Oh, I almost did a Pepsi spit take the worst kind there is. We just secrete our hearts and souls in this book and the flaccid version has more secret extra secretions. And even Stephen don't just cut this, burn it as you're cutting it. And I don't know how you do that with digital, but I want this whole thing burnt down to it.
I think that was the best words I've ever spat from my mouth. Do don't take this for me.
I think that was the eloquent best I've ever eloquent it and I'm proud of myself. And you can find that and more in Stay Sexy, Don't Murder. Yes, right.
If you even like this this flaccid debate, then you're going to love stay sexy, don't get murdered. The paperback version. That's right. With extras. You say all the details coming out now. Eleven twenty. Twenty one. Ba ba ba ba ba.
OK, that I said it twice then I said it thrice. OK, what else. Oh oh.
We just have a couple, we have some fun stuff happening on the network if you want to know. For example, the great Liza Trager from that's messed up the View podcast from exactly right. Is going to be on lady to lady. That's right.
And this podcast will kill you. Aaron and Aaron discuss Huntington's disease, which remains shrouded in mystery. So that comes out this week. I can't imagine it's not the awesomest frickin episode. Here's what I love about this podcast. I'll Kill You There, one of our original podcast. And there are still going strong. People love this podcast. It's Aaron and Aaron Kickass Weekly. So if you haven't given it a try yet. Yeah, get over there and see what you see what you think and say no lady.
The Lady Margaret Cho, the great Margaret Cho, who Karen has hung out with in the 90s, is on as a guest.
One of my oldest and dearest friends, Margaret Cho, is also now a family member of the Exactly Right Podcast Network, which is really fun and nice. I love it.
So the old girls love stuff like that legend. She's legendary legend. Cool. Before we put up our episodes from this week, which I mean, I'm so glad they're being broadcast to the world because they're great stories, both of them.
We want to address a issue that we think is important and it's.
A huge problem, and that is the racism that the Asian community is facing right now and historically and it's it's shocking and, you know, disgusting and we're horrified by it.
So many people in our society don't understand that this is an epidemic for Asian people as well. You know, I don't think people see it.
And so I really think that we need to highlight it and and and talk about it. It's a huge problem that we can't ignore and that we need to support this community.
Yeah, the the lives that were lost in Atlanta. And that is such a we always talk about these mass shootings are senseless shootings. We always talk about afterwards. We need to talk about the victims names. You know, the these the conversation is becoming so redundant because there are people in this world who think they can solve their own issues by going out and killing whoever they decide should die. And that is a it's an oppressive state that everyone has to live in.
But especially this is a targeted group. Asian-Americans have been targeted for years. So there's a collective called Red Canary Song, and their website is Red Canary song Dot Net. And they call themselves a grassroots collective of Asian and migrant sex workers who are organizing trans nationally. And so they're basically their mission. It says on their website centers, base building with migrant workers through a labor rights framework and mutual aid. We believe that full decriminalization is necessary for labor organizing and anti trafficking hashtag rights, not rade.
Hashtag sex work is work. So essentially, this is this is a collective of people who are getting together to stand up for the rights of undocumented sex workers and sex workers basically across this nation. And it's it's a really I think it's really cool because it's such direct aid and it's such a good thing to support. So we're going to give ten thousand dollars to Red Canary Song in support of the victims of the Atlanta shooting and to basically to help them with the with the work that they're doing on the street.
That's right. And please donate if you can, if not a great way to get the word out there is just to just get the word out and make it visible and keep it at the forefront of people's minds. All right, so I'm first this week, thank you, Stephen.
And so I am doing a story from May 5th, 2019. This was at the Toyota Music Factory in Dallas, Irving, Dallas, Irving, Texas, which was such a fun vehicle.
Joe's big old show. A big old show. We had fucking cowboy hats waiting for us in the green room.
It was it was wild. It was awesome. And so I'm doing the Adolphus Hotel ghosts, which was terrifying. We had video footage going of elevators going bonkers. It scared the shit out of me. Definitely. So take a listen. Don't listen in a dark room late at night. It's scary. And have fun. This is the Adolphus Hotel ghosts.
It's you. It's me tonight. I start a campus tonight, guys. Great. All right.
Well, this one has it all ghosts. What?
Ghosts, just two ghosts, just a lot of ghosts, one ghost murders, another. Get ready. Forensic Files take that. This is the deaths and ghosts of the Adolphus Hotel. Yeah, so it turns out you guys have really safe Six Flags over Texas and only two people have ever died there. Oh, no stories to talk about from there.
No, it's it's been 52 years and it's only been two deaths. A Roaring Rapids and Texas giant roller coaster, roaring rapids.
That's a bummer. That's a tough one. But someone must have stood up, right? No, that's what it was. It was their fault. Oh, there was water became electric. No, no. Why? The boat tipped over. No, but that was in the 50s. No shit. I tried to help you. Six Flags. I tried to help you. OK, so let me tell you about the Adolphus Hotel. And I got so much information from D magazine.
There's an article by a woman named S Holland Murphy who just fucking wrote the article about it and she wrote the fuck out of that argument. She like went to the library and like microfiche then. And I just copied and pasted all of it. She's a great writer. Yeah. Appreciate her ass. Let's hear word for word. She did say no, I'm completely OK in 1910. Go back there. OK, the city of Dallas is booming and the city leaders decides it needs a grand hotel for rich white people.
Right. So they convinced this dude, Adolphus Busch, B USC H, founder of the Anheuser-Busch company.
That company got me through the late 80s, early 90s. Thank you, Anheuser-Busch. And all your horses and all your men. He basically bought stock in Anheuser-Busch in the 90s. One would hope.
One would think, OK, so they're like, hey, dude, you're rich, will you build this? And he was like, I'm on it. And so construction began later that year and a new one million dollar hotel. They spent a million, which in today's money is 1910, a million. That's easily three billion to that.
Twenty five million that might be wrong. Two point five billion dollars a year.
That's almost three billion dollars. I'm getting fucking good at this future money thing. You are really good at it. I was point five billion dollars away from being right on the money. So they start building this hotel where Dallas City Hall once stood.
That was to to elevate downtown Dallas, which at the time was considered and considered an uncanny, unsophisticated, whatever that means, and confiscated and confiscated.
And they wanted to turn it into a classy joint. So here's what it looks that's like the fellow that's Adolphus Busch and all his facial hair.
That's you would it makes sense that you'd be in a boardroom and you'd turn to this guy and go, can you please build us a hotel?
Yeah, he knows hotels think I mean, what he's that's a very wide cone is the breadth and width. He's got a breath and width to him, doesn't he? OK, well, he was like, you know what I'm going to do? Boom, boom, boom, boom. Isn't that beautiful? Look at that. With its own moon. Wow. Amazing.
And actually, so when they when it opened in October 5th. Twenty. Nope. 1912, that would take a long time. That would be the Adolphus Hotel was the first grand hotel in Dallas and the twenty two storey hotel was the tallest building in the state of Texas for almost a decade.
So like look at these little tiny like hovels that Bougnat get your own.
Moonen, get out of here. Right. That's amen. Amen. OK, so it opens. It's a tall satrap.
So now the hotel is known as one of the most haunted spots in Dallas.
And secondly, this room, one night we Alice, it's only two years old, but who knows what stood on it before they probably do.
That would be we should have had a lighting cue where it all goes out, like all the light, the lights go out, including the exit sign.
That's illegal because the scariest thing is a fire hazard. Yes.
OK, all right. So the guests at the Adolphus have reported a number of strange experiences. There's complaints from guests being woken up by the sound of someone running down the hallways, which me too.
Right. They've yeah, we've gotten that a couple of times. And it's children or ghosts, I don't know, ghost children the worst of all.
People feel like someone's watching them at all times. And a really creepy way they hear door slam or hear the sound of a swing band playing music like old timey music in the middle of the night.
Mm hmm. And when these incidents are reported, the hotel security goes to investigate. Of course, there's nothing there.
And actually, the 19th floor of the hotel appears to be the biggest concentration of ghost activities because there was a ballroom located there in like in the Wayback time.
And there were big bands playing there, like Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller played there. And so you can still hear the music sometimes late at night playing, which sounds kind of nice. I mean, if you're going to get haunted, I guess it's not the worst way.
Now, there's simply no way it could be the radio here in. I'm just saying, are you a ghost debunker? I might be a bit of a devil's advocate, not just for fun on this one.
Oh, it's the devil. It's the devil in his band.
But I guess you know what it is, is that swing music and swing when you first were like a swing dancing and then I was like dorks.
So that doesn't feel threatening to me. That feels like a gap ad from the 90s or might stop it. Stop throwing her over your back. It's not interesting. Did you ever have to go on a terrible date where you went to swing dancing once? No way.
How many of us fucking tried to convince our boyfriends at the time to take us to this fucking swing dance lessons?
Did you for real? I tried. And he was like, I guess I'll go. But it never happened. You know why I didn't? Because I was blacked out drunk in the gutter.
His no, I don't need dance session.
No one's going to swing Karen over their shoulder unless they're carrying her home. Right. It's so true. OK, so yeah.
Like, you know, the normal fuckin ghosty shit. But here's the thing is there's been a shit ton of deaths that have happened since the hotel opened in 1922.
So they can attribute those deaths to the rumors of it being haunted and including multiple murders from a very murderous, nefarious elevator shaft out for vengeance, which is all I can come to the conclusion of, because it's that's my thought.
It's that a lot of people just are clumsy. OK. October 20, God damn it. Let's do it today, then. Oh, you didn't even give a shout out to Steven.
Sorry we missed you at the top. He's not here.
He's not here. But he's listening in the future. Yeah. As I go by the time I'm trying to make this spooky, even though I don't really believe in ghosts, God damn it, you died of mustache.
Turns out his mustache wax had stuff. Arsenic, arsenic in it.
OK, so just two weeks after the adulteresses grand opening, an Italian waiter who had just moved to Dallas from Chicago, OK, he was in the main lobby of the hotel walking toward the elevator.
And he was like, he turns out he's one of the elevator.
And he's like, Yeah, what's up? Let's just get in the elevator.
It turns out that he didn't notice the elevator left his already left and he falls three floors down the elevator shaft, hit his skull, is crushed and he dies two hours later at the Baptist Sanatorium where doctors unsuccessfully performed the operation of raising the bone, which I don't know what that is, but I I guess I tried to do it last night after Forensic Files work.
Yadira That's right. Now, was it? I did not plan that. And I'm sweating now. I was that a genuine riff's? Yeah. Come on. That's what we're looking for. Let me show you this lobby that distracted him. Raise that bone. I don't know. It's a it's a lobby.
It's navel. It's humongous. Huge. Watch out for that elevator shaft. It is murderous.
OK, in May 1913, a 45 year old insurance man and Schriner from New Hampshire is out for a walk with a group of men.
After they have a nice dinner at the Adolphus, he becomes ill and, quote, sinks to the sidewalk. His friends help him back to the hotel and 30 minutes later, he's dead.
The death is ruled an acute attack of indigestion and apoplexy, which could mean a stroke.
But it's also possible the medical examiner used this as a random term for sudden death since they didn't have the technology we have now. So they were like, he's dead. It's either stroke or this or that or that apoplexy they like. Yeah, they lift up his coat and they're just like, this really feels like apoplexy to me. I don't.
And I've got to go. Right. Still, we have to figure out what raising the bonus, though, is all around. I think it's like they yeah, I tried to find it and it's like cranial fuckin craniotomy craniotomies. Definitely a if that's the same person that jumped my line, you're dead. Me. I'm going to find you in the parking lot. It's not. She's a criminologist. You're only allowed to yell shit out of. It's real true science.
No, you're not allowed to talk that at all the time. It never, never, never. But also, what if it's just a crane that's yelling stuff?
I get to do my National Geographic jokes.
It's not all boner jokes.
God damn it. They throw you under the bus immediately. I was just trying to get a cheap laugh. God, OK. In February 19, 15, a 26 year old man is in town on business from Iowa. He's at dinner with another business man. That's all they did back now. That's all they did is business dinners in go. Excuse me, I'm going to go to my room real quick and go to the bathroom.
He goes up there and then he throws himself across the bed and as soon in convulsions and fucking dies on the bed and when they go to check it out, they find in the bathroom and almost twenty six ounce bottle labeled poison with a skull and crossbones probably.
Yeah, I've seen that before it. Here's the note that he left right before he died. Quote, I got the wrong bottle. Love to all.
Oh, he's kind of a joker. No, I think he I think he was like I think they put, you know, mouthwash and poison in the same bottles then. And he was like, swig. Oh, fuck. Guy screwed up. Go buy. Doesn't that suck, you know, when you're like, I bet they were drunk because they're businessmen? I hope so. So like 10 old fashions later, I guess, fashions, they're called back then later.
Saligari, if of the fucking right. God damn it. This is for the rats. Like, why why would you have a mouthwash sized bottle of poison right near the bathroom saying these are all great questions. All right. I don't have answers. OK.
In December 1917, after stopping to let a passenger off the sixth floor of the Adolphus annex, which is a brand new 12 storey addition, they kept building shut.
The 16 year old elevator boy attempts to hop on the already ascending elevator. He's going to like it's going, but I'm going to get it.
No Zakharia. No, he falls 100 feet to the basement and dies, obviously. OK, this fucking elevator shaft. Yeah, it's angry. At no point were they like, how about a little gate?
How about we put up a gate, have a basic fucking I mean, were they not used to moving mechanical things back then?
Was that it where they just didn't have the respect or they were like, if you're going to do it like it's everything, everything's your fault back then. I think up until like 2001, everything is your fault. Oh, that's right. Right. You can sue anybody ever.
It was every man for himself. Exactly.
So in January 1920, just after 11:00 p.m. on the Commerce Street entrance to the office, a chauffeur for the auto for a different auto company is fatally shot three times by the chauffeur from the Adolphus.
Like, I think it's the like, chauffeurs.
And they're like doing a show for a company like Chauffeur Wars. Yeah, that new show on the Discovery Channel, a lot of us. So it turns out and like twenty people witnessed the shooting and one of the coworker coworkers of the victim tells police that the man who was dead had started a fight at this chauffeur strike several days before this other dude and the gunman had a bruise and cut on his face to show that he had gotten a fight with this guy.
The guy shows up and fucking shoots him dead.
Why weren't they still on strike? They'd settled it all down. On October 20. You're right, you're right, thank you.
I'm asking you about union issues from 1910. I wish you wouldn't. I'm always asking you not to ask me about you. So sorry. You know, it's my trigger, but it's my passion. Your passion. This is never going to work. My passion is your trigger. The Karen and George story. Yes. Forward by our therapist who we haven't seen in months. We must be happy for us. I mean, these like they must be fine.
OK. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. And we're back we're back at the fucking elevator shaft. Oh, no. October 19, 20 for a 30 year old cook sticks his head in the fucking elevator. You know, where is that damn elevator? And he's taking a sip of poison, as he should be down here pretty soon, instantly killed by the descending car, I would imagine.
And then, like, you got to think about the ripple effects of all of these people who watched people die in elevator shafts. Sure. Did they get a free night at the Adolpho?
Like, what the fuck, right?
Yes, you can have you there's aspic or you could have I'm trying to think of old fashioned dishes. Just a bunch of gravy on us.
It's on us. Do you know handsome. Some control just so much. Consolmagno But a bunch of herring. No sides included. This reminds me. Quick sidebar. My dad told me a story one time because he's a firefighter in San Francisco and one time they went to a call and when they got there, it was an elevator that had dropped and the man locked the door.
I don't think they drop a lot, although I do always after he told me the story check, you know, there's a certificate inside every elevator you can check the last time it was inspected. So you're as you're descending as you're like, oh, my stomach did it.
Oh, shit. Ninety three.
So my dad told me that they walked in, I think it was a bank or some old building in San Francisco and they walked in and the elevator car was all the way, almost all the way down and the and a guy's foot was sticking out of it and he had stepped into the elevator car and then it dropped with his weight.
Something happened. The car snap dropped, caught on his foot.
So the only thing that was keeping it from continuing to fall down was the fact that I have so many questions. OK, so his foot was still on his body?
Yes. Oh, yes. Well, because he was hanging upside down in the drop elevator car.
Yes. OK, and so if he hadn't moved, the elevator would have dropped.
We could not have moved because he was pinned by the top of the key was basically pinned by being stuck like that. OK, so that.
No, there's nothing OK about that man. Did he end up OK? I believe so, because they had to. And of course, I'm not kidding.
I'm sure that when my dad told me the story, I was like seven like a mouthful of honeycombs. He's like he's like, here's another thing for you to be terrified of the rest of your fucking elevator. Yes. I guess they had to get a jack in like they went out to a car, got a jack, and then they had to hold the guy's foot, which was smashed, and then jack the elevator car up enough to get him out.
Yeah. What a fun.
Bears would have fun comedy side bar that was. You know what it is? I just there's things like this that because of my father have been holding inside for years and now I can get them out like 4000 people at a time, give it to them.
They love it. It's not yours anymore. It's this. If they do, it's first responder shit. This is please have some respect for the first responders and the horrible things they see at all times. Man Guys, if you have anxiety, anxiety, I highly suggest you start a podcast and just spill all your shit.
Yeah. You just get it right out. It's great. Moving on to more shit.
Great. Then February nineteen thirty hot model.
She must have had a lovely head. She's fine. She walks into the hotel room of a sixty year old man. He's a salesman. She's going to. I don't know this is, this is dirty. A hat salesman walks into a bar.
No. First of all, when have you ever seen a hat model. They just stick them on the styrofoam heads. I don't really understand this either. OK, I think I know. Ask them because I have them too. OK, she's going to go help him with his.
Just maybe he's going take photographs of her in the jaunty little I don't know, in a hat only. The point is, yeah.
The point is the man is nowhere to be found and she noticed that there's a torn window screen and so she notifies the staff and the man's body is soon found in an air shaft.
Why did she know?
The young woman tells authorities that the man had recently been despondent and told her he wouldn't see his family again. How did he get into the air shaft?
According to the news or the newspaper?
The force, the quote, the force gained in the fall from the eighth floor where he fell from caused the body to tear through the galvanized iron roof of an air shaft in one of the inside quartz.
He plunged through the bottom of the shaft and. And fell through where the blades of the air shaft. Oh, my God, that's like Raiders of the Lost Ark shit. Yeah, and then that explains the loud crash and puff of dust from fans reported by kitchen employees the night before.
I cover the Coliseum. Put your hands up. Now, I don't know that just a little bit made up. I asked Holland Murphy, but I'm going to stick to it and it's now fact. Wow.
Well, it would it would make sense if you had that kind of an impact. It's just like what lines that shit out. Bummer.
OK, OK. June 1940, a crowd gathers outside the hotel when a man with his clothes ablaze follows from the 11th floor and dies on impact on the bottom.
Some witnesses thought he was overcome by smoke and follows. Other people thought he'd jump to escape the flames four days later, after what is called an extensive investigation.
But who knows the extensive four day investigation into the man's death.
Jurors decide no state laws were violated during the incident, though nowhere is the fire explained. And they all got a free stay at the hotel.
I made that part, but probably around the corner walks up. That's totally apoplexy if I've ever seen it. Yes, yeah. Where's my free aspic? In August 1946.
OK, according to the fire marshal, a 51 year old man wakes up and takes his burn pillow and sheets into the bathroom.
He had fallen asleep while smoking and lit the baton. Oh, yeah, sure. He was like, I'm just going to bundle this up and put it in the tub. Then he dies after inhaling smoke and gas when the fire starts back up again. He didn't like tamp it out. I don't know. Well, don't smoke in bed friends and also don't drink and smoke in bed because I think that's a piece of it. Did you ever do that?
They're here. The fires and Kitai. That's right. I'm OK. All right.
So here's some fuckin murderous shit. That's what you guys are here for.
I mean, the guy with the suit on fire is not alone. Yeah, it's amazing. What was his thing?
The jury said it was fine. Everything's fine. He grabbed the wrong bottle. It's fine. Yeah.
In 1959, in July, the body of a 25 year old sex worker is found in a small courtyard 14 floors below her room.
The Dallas Morning News described the woman's body plunging down the four by eight inch set in the building and hitting the walls as she went down.
And also included was the details of such things as what the book she had been reading that was lying on her bed, which was a fool.
There was. Have you read it? Yeah, I love it. It's a lot like Twilight. The I looked it up and it said a cunning woman who uses her irresistible charms to seduce and abandon a series of influential men.
You know how we like to do.
Yeah, there are signs of a struggle, but the case remains unsolved for months.
Many men are questioned, but it isn't until months later, in January of 1959, when an 18 year old woman was beaten and left for dead at a mercantile at the Mercantile Kontinental Building in a closet and in, authorities find a man named Willie Philipot who had worked at the Adolphus.
And they questioned him. And he confesses to both the beating of the woman at the mercantile who survived and the murder of the woman at the Adolphus. Wow. He tells authorities that he had been working at the office and had delivered food to the woman's room throughout the day.
And she invited he says she invited him in for some whiskey. And while they were talking, quote, his hand began to twitch in a murderous way, which is like, dude, that's when you leave.
I mean, great idea. If the murder hand starts going, go back to your own fucking room. Yeah, take a cold shower, friend. Turn yourself in. Maybe, maybe. Oh, so it turns out I have a murder hand. Could you put me into a cell or a hospital of some kind. Yeah, I want to see the rooms at the Adolphus. Yeah. Oh hunt.
Dead, hunted, hunted, hunted, hunted. Smells weird. Also humungous. Yeah. Huge. Eerie like and that was seven dollars a night. Yeah.
OK, so, so he says that he, she invited him in his hand, his murder hand began to twitch, he chokes her and then when she stopped moving he threw her out the window and went back to work.
Wow. He's also confessed to the murder of a 10 year old girl in Longview and he's executed for that murder. Wow. Yeah.
March 1971, a witness says he warns the hotel porter to make sure the elevator car is on the second floor.
He's going to load in some band equipment. Remember that?
Swing dancing. We can't wait. It's 1971, so it's fair and. Hmm, that's right. But again, this is I don't laugh like that. I don't know what's up. You know, it's like it's the phlegm guy coming back to you. He's like, I'll show you. He's having his revenge. Right. Just after replying after the hotel, Porter says, Yeah, the elevator's right here, see? And steps into it.
Guess what? It's not there. No, OK. It seems like with this elevator, it never is. No telling you this fucking elevator is a murderer.
Yeah, it is the most famous spirit that everyone claims to see at the office, of course, is the lady in white, which I think every popular hotel has to have.
Yeah. The story is that a young woman was left at the altar getting married.
She's going to get married during the Depression era. And she was so upset that her fiance didn't show up for the wedding that she hanged herself and the hotel's grand ballroom on the 19th floor.
And now she runs the halls of the Adolphus, sobbing and trailing after a hotel.
Ghosts, many ghosts reported seeing an apparition of a young woman and an old fashioned bridal gown.
Can I just ask one question? Absolutely. She's trailing after ghosts. Did I say that? Yeah. Hotel guests. Yes. Yes. No, but think of it. How scary is the ghost that haunts other ghosts? That's horrifying. That is that's next level fucking EMT meter shit where you are like, well, it's back now because I said, oh, hey, yeah.
Then the ghost union gets involved. You can't fault them that they're haunting people. One per ghost. Please, please don't haunt the haunted haunt me, ok? Yeah. They all see the guests.
I'll see the ghost of a young woman and an old fashioned bridal gown on the 19th floor.
She's been seen wandering other areas of the hotel as if searching for something and when people they like sneak up to the 19th floor. I think it was under construction for a while. They always felt I just wrote.
They feel different temperatures. Yeah.
And feel like someone's watching them because they're like, it's hot, it's cold.
It's like, all right, it's maybe it's hot or cold and it's a fucking building from the nineteen twenties. Yeah. But it's not. It's haunted I guess. Regularly phone the front desk to report heavy footsteps in the hall or muffled conversation and empty rooms.
And when security goes to investigate, there's nobody around. And they've also the employees have reported strange activity in the hotel's maids will feel I'm sorry, hotel staff will feel a tap on the shoulder when no one is around.
That's not a good one. No. And yeah, just sidebar, but I today I got no Bragge breakfast room service breakfast and then I left to go back and walk on a treadmill.
So I'm at least putting in half an effort and since anyway I got it, I can't get into it right now. But when I got back to my room, it was filthy as I left it, but the room service tray was gone and like snuck in and stole your eye.
I didn't ask for it to be removed. I kind of was thinking I might go back to that to those berries when I come over. And it was like, it's not weird that someone came and took just the tray. No one clean my room or made the bed or did anything helpful, gave me new tools, just like, yeah, we'll be taking this back now.
We only have one.
You can't just pick your food for four hours.
We're more of a complaint than anything else.
Sorry, we're not staying at the head office. Otherwise that would not have happened, ok. Blah, blah, blah. Bartenders say that bottle move around and shut up.
I know. And flip up in the air like in cock to the ghost of Tom Cruise. OK, there's several videos on YouTube, meaning to videos on YouTube that show you that show elevator doors in the 19th floor that open and close on their own. And the courtesy phone on the desk there rings all the time, too, and no one's ever on the line. Want to see a video of that?
Well, yeah. OK, so there's a video by someone named Aristolochia. He says we were on the elevator at the Adolphus Hotel in Dallas, got up at the 19th floor and all the elevator doors were opening and closing like crazy and the phones were ringing.
This happened two nights in a row and I don't think there's any volume on it, which is even creepier already.
Who do we get to watch it? Oh, how good is this? Look at the opening.
And thank you for the I didn't know we could run video. I didn't either ask Jay and he's like, I'm on it. Oh yes. That's ringing in the video. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, my God. And then look, they start opening. Come on. OK, opening. Everyone's freaking out. Why is that one opening? Why am I that one just open. Why am I narrating this.
They just started like ding ding, ding, ding. Closing, opening. Goddammit, this is supposed to be scary, am I not? Well, I mean, they are all open and close and you can't argue that. No, they're freaking also. I just saw Ghost run by. Did you see it. He was smiling. Was he was wearing a Slipknot shirt. I saw with my own eyes the ghost with the cargo. Sure. Yeah, the scariest.
OK, so the Adolphus has embrace the haunted reputation. There's a stop on a haunted tour that's called the nightly spirits. They stop by the bar. The hotel is known as one of the fucking swankiest hotels in Texas. And, you know, it's really nice now, but people go there just to look for ghosts.
And they'd all if this was added to the National National Register of Historic Places, blah, blah, blah, top ten hotels buy a bunch of travel guides and sit its construction in 1912.
The head office has maintained a reputation for being fancy and swanky, and guests want to keep coming back, which they think is why the ghosts won't leave, and that is the deaths and ghosts of the Adolphus Hotel.
I want to see that. Yeah. Well, spooky, they're going to sleep with the lights on, like my delightful it's so funny to be going into these old shows and be trying to remember, like, this experience that we have is so like it basically is like one of three things. I mean, we walk in the back door, we get walked down a long hallway, you sit in a green room, we put on our makeup. We do our hair.
Yeah. Georgia tries to convince me to pose with her for a picture on Instagram. I say no. And if you do it, I'll kick you in the shin. And then I go, she says, this photo and you're like, OK, what about this? And then she says, don't forget filters. And then I'm like, OK, fine. It goes on and on each other's dresses. We fuck this.
She pulls up my Spanx for me all. There's so much teamwork. I forget to strap my shoes on before I zip up my tight ass dress. So I have to force events like a slave to my heels.
And when they get into stuff like that, I step out into the hallway and say, you guys do what you need to do as a preshow ritual. That's fine.
But then it's really funny because in in some of these some of the places are very different. Yeah. And so my story is going to be from the D.C. Constitution Hall. Oh, yeah. I think we both remember February 2nd, twenty nineteen. So this is a lot of stuff happened to the D.C. Constitution Hall. We had a lot of peak experiences there. Absolutely. The look of it was very distinctive. So I can remember being there very clearly.
The audience was like a gorgeous emotional tide. It ebbed and flowed with us. They they were there. They were laughing. They were gasping. They were right. Just on the edge of their seats. We had the legendary hometown of the woman who tried her best to talk about Lorena Bobbitt and she couldn't get it out, possibly won the award for the drunkest person that's ever been on a stage.
She like she wishes junkies persons didn't even know me.
This is the one worth since then, you know, he'll have them come up to him and wait in the wings with him.
And he said, oh, fuck, bless her heart, we're not making fun of her. I'm sure she's lovely and was nervous, whatever, and not expecting to go on stage.
I mean, Karen, hey, we've been there when we're talk about no judgments on drunkenness, I'm telling you that if I even had any concept of judgment about drunkenness, I would be some smote down by the Lord because I have been inappropriately drunk in so many churches, at so many baby showers, in so many situations I've had I'm not high school.
I feel bad. Laughing You can laugh. It's it's the kind of thing where I want you to understand that whether that woman does that every night or if she just does it once a year, I don't give a shit. I fucking loved it.
It made my day. And that's the kind of thing where people go, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. I got so drunk last night and I always go, that's the point. Yeah. Whatever you did, you fucking peed in a driveway. Whatever you did that you're so humiliated by. That was the agreement that you entered into here and just did a signature, an air signature, by the way.
I don't want people.
It's it's like you can have the shame, but then leave the shame, the shame or the garbage or do something with the shame that's constructive if that's what you need to do, which we are. Yes, we understand that, too.
If the shame's been sitting there for a long time and you can't get it to move, then maybe drink less so you don't have so much shame to fucking deal with and you're just not shoveling it all over the place totally.
But if you're going to have one great night, do it at the Constitution Hall, the huge rectangular, shallow, humongous place and do it. I don't know if it was the same night because it was actually a series of shows. But this on February 2nd this night, I told everybody about The Legend of the Bunnymen. And so that's what you're about to hear. That was scary to fuck. It's very unnerving. This this is what we call this is our Halloween.
And Marchelle, don't you miss Halloween?
This is that giant skeleton show. Yep. Right. Bring it back. Bring it back.
But he never went anywhere. There's people that are now dressing him up as the Easter Bunny. Like I love a dress dress to the 12 foot skeleton up, as do you think will dress up as a modern day floral grandmother.
The mother from Psycho could be put that giant skeleton in a giant rocking chair, put a wig on it. It's the mother from Psycho for mother. But don't forget a face mask because that's important. Quit. Quit messing around. All right, here's the Legend of the Bunnymen for everybody. Are you first? I am first tonight. And I'm excited to be first because I'm going to talk about the Fairfax Bunnymen. Oh, are they mad at you or are they on board?
What is that? Well, I'll tell you, is it creepy? It's super fucking creepy. Anything anything about a bunny man is fucking creepy as shit. Yeah. Chatter, chatter, chatter. What's super weird is I was just saying to somebody a couple of days ago, like, don't you think rabbits are creepy? And whoever I said it to is like, no, you know why she said, no, I was there for this because she had a rabbit on her collar.
She was like, oh, no, I don't think rabbits are creepy. I love you. I wouldn't be wearing them on my dress if I thought they were creepy. Sometimes I do that where, like, I see a sentence pop up into my head. I'm like, just say it. See what happens. It didn't seem like it was going to be offensive. I was really tried. I mean, just trying to relate. It's a fucking fact of your life.
It's affecting my life, life and then opposite fact in her life. OK, so just, you know, the I got a lot of this information from the Washingtonian dotcom smart, smart people. I'm sure there's also a website called Only in Your State as Dummies. You didn't graduate high school. Yeah. Wow. I don't know if only in your state, if they have one for every state or if it's just for you know, I think they do do they don't come because I thought it was only in the state anyway.
So this is part of this has been an urban legend around these parts for the past four years. I don't know this one. OK, so we're starting here.
Let's do it long ago. Can someone start a campfire really quick? Like the my right. Yeah. Let these speakers on fire. Long ago there was an insane asylum in the woods. This is how you know it's an urban legend. Yeah. No one's ever built an insane asylum in the world. Just that one Cropsey lived. Right. And then after that they were like, we got to stop doing this. They don't there's no need to put these things in the woods.
Yeah. There's an insane asylum in the woods dividing the town of Clifton from Fairfax Station. I looked at both of those cities on Google Maps today, they are gorgeous. OK, but the locals in both of those towns didn't like the idea of having a having a whole hospital filled with the criminally insane. I don't know if they were criminally insane. I just put them in criminally insane house so close to their city. So they started a petition to close the asylum.
They sound like great people. It's like down a little and then. Or over or over a week back. No, not back. There we go. Oh, yes, back. OK, that's creepy. But the Bunnymen Bridge, I'm trying to set a scene of things being in the forest. Yeah. Let's not skip ahead to Bonnyman Bridge yet, OK. Sorry, forest or creepy. I hate it. Stay out back. And Lyme disease everywhere.
So they closed the asylum. Oh, they did it. They did it. That's lame. In 1984 they closed the asylum and all the patients are piled into a bus from 1984.
All it takes is just if you print out urban legend and read it aloud, you're like, no, no, I don't think so. Yeah, very unlikely. Probably not. So they get into a big yellow bus like a Greyhound. Mrs. Partridge is driving and the and all the inmates are driven. The patients are driven to Lorton prison. Great. OK, that's a prison nearby on the way the bus swerves and crashes. No course. And after the crash, all the all of the patients run into the forest.
Most of them are caught and brought back to Lorton prison, except one man named Douglas Griffin. So while they're searching for Douglas Griffin, the authorities find a trail of half eaten, gutted rabbits and many more hanging from a nearby underpass tunnel below the Fairfax Station Bridge. Oh, I probably should have brought the tunnel up. Now I'm going to meet this online.
No. No, it would work. I didn't know what work is again. I didn't know we could do that. So it's great to know we can do. You're you're scaring everyone to that's the creepiest that's the creepiest gif I've ever seen. I of got this fucking these live shows have now changed, and I know we can do gifts now that we can give back, I can give lectures. We want a better turn that off. That gift was made by someone named Sam Wolfe Connolly.
The entire website was called Sam Wolfe Connolly dot com. So I got really scared that if I didn't credit this gift, it seemed like it seems like a big deal for Sam Wolfe Cornell. So I want him to get full credit and he seems to be great at making gifts. Cool. You can call them gifts if you want to, but that's not what they actually were called. We were somewhere either ducking agent, our agent was like, yeah, we could use Ajith and I'm like, Oh what?
He did it casually, as if we weren't all like we're like you just said it was intense and then no one. And we're just like, oh, I don't like dogs. Peanut butter, you nerd. OK, so then right dead hanging around. That's why the police, some are crying, some are holding each other. If it's an urban legend you could say whatever the fuck the mayhem. So then the police searched Woods for Griffin for months.
They can't find him. And then on Halloween night, oh, he had a calendar in the woods.
And he was like, this is going to be great. I would say, hey, how the fuck would you know? This is going to be great. He does something on Halloween night at the stroke of midnight. I was like, what does he have it? Just an amazing digital watch back in 1994. Now he did it. He's standing by the sundial all day. Come on midnight Sunday. I wouldn't help you. It OK. It's my urban legend now.
So then on Halloween night, several teens, that phrase that raises a red flag right there because the teens didn't exist until the 1950s. That's true, right? That is exactly right. Also, any time someone uses the phrase several teens, they don't know what they're talking about. There's two or there's five or there's like 30 and they're pushing a bus over. OK, yeah, a lot of rules. And then on Halloween night, several teens meet up under the bridge to hang out and party Halloween style.
It's nineteen for, nineteen for. So what they did is they got one big piece of molasses and they broke it off several different pieces. Oh, fun. Eat this. And Marie, that kind of shit. They're partying OK. And at the stroke of midnight, of course, several teens are attacked by an ax wielding man who's dressed like a rabbit. We don't know. He went to a fucking costume shop. We got a digital fucking watch.
Sorry I skipped ahead. OK, I'm dressed like a rabbit. Sorry. They're just attacked with an ax. OK. All right, the next morning, several teens are found hanging from the bridge. Jesus gutted like the rabbit's Douglas Griffin had left in his wake. What the fuck? And when police finally find Douglas Griffin at that tunnel overpass, I wrote Overpass, but it would really be the underpass part. He's not on the top. Oh, no, he is on the top because he runs away from the police onto the tracks and is hit by an oncoming train.
And after the train passed, they heard Douglas laughing now and wet. And then it's eventually revealed that Douglas Griffin had been institutionalized for killing his entire family on Easter Sunday. Oh, OK. Just so much bullshit. I used to love my little Rosa. You have to pick one holiday urban legend, you know what I mean? It's an Easter murder. It's celebrated on holiday and you can't how they do it. You OK? And to this day, it's said that if you are at Bonnyman Bridge at midnight on Halloween night, you two will meet the fate of those several teens and innocent bunnies.
Now, I just want to share this with you. No. Oh, no. Why? Why would anyone? These are I was trying to look for things, you know, different pictures on the Internet. And if you put in creepy bunny or bunny killer or the bunny man like this comes up immediately under bunny man. Yeah, it does. They're like, here's what you're getting yourself into. You sure you want to proceed? Click Yes or no.
Click Yes or no. Love Google. I just any time I see one of those things, I'm like, please introduce me to the person who made that mask because they based it on what they think faces look like an bunnies and bunnies hate it. Goodbye, eBay. That doesn't that's not related. I just want to show you that picture. OK, so this story first started getting told. It appeared in nineteen seventy three in the University of Maryland school paper, the fighting rabbit masks.
And from then it's been told and retold by several teens. They will not quit it. Guys, have you learned anything? So here's how you know it's an urban legend. It starts exactly like that scene from the fugitive where the bus crashes and all the run off the bus. Also an asylum in the forest. As we said, it just would never have it done all these things. I wrote it out. How did he know it was a stroke of midnight bloody blue?
OK, so there's an archivist, the Fairfax County archives named Brian Connelly, who grew up hearing this story and finally decided he wanted to look into it and see where it came from and what it was all about. And so he researched it for ten years. Yes. That's an urban legend. That's true. And at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, you realize he wasted a shit ton of time. He seems like the kind of guy he's like, I'm a researcher, but I don't want to get into, like, heavy shit or boring shit.
I'm just going to talk about stories people tell each other for fun. So in 2002, he published what is considered the foremost paper on the Fairfax Bunnymen. And thank God he did. Nobody else had even submitted one. They were like, Oh, I had read, no one's competing with you. OK, so one of the first things he finds out is that Lorton prison wasn't even open until nineteen sixteen. So that that decline, that prison that they were driving their big yellow bus to, there were no records of any asylum ever, having been in the forest between those two cities and asylum around the time of.
Are you? I'm just going to now start doing a Foghorn Leghorn impression when I say the phrase twenty five years. Also, there was no records of anyone named Douglas Griffin living in the area, and there was no bridge anywhere near the forest that lies between those two cities. The story is nothing without a bridge really, really falling apart. OK, so Brian Connolly believes that the story is referring to Fairfax Station Bridge on Colchester Road, which that actually was a picture of, which was a party spot for local several teens and and also is creepy looking tunnel.
And at now Google Maps calls that bridge, Bunnymen Bridge. And that's it was called up there. It's actually officially called that now or, you know, at Google headquarters. But here's the twist. It's actually based on a true story at the back. Yes, everybody's so I show you this. Tell me something. Tell me about the thing you're going to. Is it another bunny costume? Could it be OK? No. So listen, no.
Yeah. I'm currently in nineteen seventy seventy seven zero. OK, I'm seventy. Got it. There were two incidents in Burke, Virginia.
You're cheering for yourself. You have a bunny man running around. How dare you and ax wielding. Many are cheering the fighting ax wielding Bunnymen. Yes, that high school. So there's two incidents. The first one on October 18th, 1970, Air Force Academy cadet Robert Bennett and his fiancee say they've just come back from a football game around midnight. Now, the stroke and there they went to his uncle's house. So they he decides he's going to pull his car into the empty field across the street from his uncle's house rate.
And they're sitting in the car. The engine is on. And all of a sudden they see I lost my spot. All of a sudden they see something moving outside the rear window. This is on the fifty four hundred block of Guinea Road if anyone wants to double check my sources. Moments later, the front passenger window is smashed and there's a man in a white suit and long bunny ears standing near the broken window. The man starts screaming at them about trespassing.
He says, You're on private property. I have your tag number. And as they drive away, they find a hatchet on the car floor. Neither of them are hurt or hears.
Oh. I don't get it, you're not supposed to. This is out of order basically later on Bennets who he ends up getting married. It's it's called. What's happening? This is this is where I'm like and the KKK is in Bourke, all of you know the guy when it happened, the guy was like, it's a guy in a white suit with long bunny ears. And the wife's like, actually, it was a Spanish capriati or whatever, however you pronounce this correctly.
She thought it was that thing. I guess you could say that being bunny ears. There's the real hatchet that they found in their car. I gave it back to them after after the whole thing, and they went ahead and mounted it and put it up on a wall next to their singing trought. So Brian Connelly actually goes and finds the Bennets there, you know, obviously they were dating when this happened to them. They were now they have been married for 45 years.
They don't like talking about it. Yeah, let's hear it for Fidelity. Oh, nice. They don't like talking about it, but they did confirm, yes, this did happen and they don't like talking about. But they got the fucking. Come on. That's just for family. That's all they talk about all the time. That's in their secret bunny man room off the kitchen next to the trout. You have to go. So basically he confirms the story not only with the Bennetts, but also with Captain Bennett.
Was the captain, now a cadet with Robert Bennett's aunt, who clearly remembers the night that it happened and says that she remembers combing shards of glass out of the girlfriend's hair. So an image and haunting. Where was the uncle and all this? Whose hair was he coming?
OK, then, two weeks after the Bennett attack, the Burning Man shows up again a block away. Now, this time, it's October 29th, 1970. You see how we're creeping up on Hollywood? Oh, I see it there. OK, OK, good shot. A private security guard for a construction site named Paul Phillips spots a man on the front porch of a new unoccupied house. So he goes up. This is in Kings Park West, also on Guiney Room.
It's a gorgeous housing development. So many nice porches. So he comes up and he's like about to say, hey, you can't be around here or whatever. And he sees a guy in a gray, black and white bunny costume holding an ax. And when he begins to speak, he thinks the man's 20 years old, five foot eight weighs around 175 pounds. Looks like a bunny, looks exactly like a terrible, terrible rabbit. And and as he starts talking to him, the man starts chopping at the porch post.
That's like on the side and saying, you don't get out of here, I'm going to bust you on the head. What a dick. There's another there's another version of the story where he says, if you don't if you get come any closer, I'll chop off your head, which is like the punched up version of one busting you in the head, isn't it? Doesn't even seem that threatening the thing where you like. You can't say the right thing right away.
I should have said enough while I tell him I was going to bust him in that. Yeah, that. Does that even mean just a meaningless chop off chop off your head? I'm going to chop off your head next time. So that's what I'm to say next time. OK, so in the weeks following these incidents, more than 50 people contact the police claiming to have seen the Bunnymen. Several newspapers, including The Washington Post, report that the Bunnymen ate a man's runaway cat.
Well, yes, he made that up. I just I'm not laughing at a dead cat. I'm laughing at the idea that a Washington Post reporter should go out. Yeah. Uh huh. Was it a tabby or a calico? What am I doing with my life? There were actually several more Washington Post articles about the Bunnymen, one in October, on October. Twenty Second the Bunnymen in Man Bunny costume in Fairfax, another one on Halloween. The rabbit reappears.
Then a week later, bunny man seen and then two days after that, bunny reports are multiplying that stop it.
Someone was bored out of their mind.
In nineteen seventy three, a student at the University of Maryland College Park named Go Look. The shattered windshield. The fighting shattered windshield. Yeah, that is a very dangerous mascot. Imagine you're just like the Badgers and you're like what we have to play against Shattered Glass. The mascot just rolled in some shattered glass and swings their arms at you. Oh, this is not regulation. So Patricia Johnson actually submits a research paper. So this is years before our friend Brian Connelly.
And it's saying that there have been 54 variations on those two incidents since they had been reported. So basically, she was starting, I think, a study on urban legends and how stories like this, if you got a nugget of something good, like a man in a bunny costume with an ax, that thing is going to go. It's just going to spread and go everywhere. Yeah. It's like gonorrhea, the good kind that good gonorrhea. So Brian Connelly in his in his studies, he finds police reports confirming that the Fairfax County police did look for a male in his late teens or early 20s dressed as a bunny.
Never say rabbit, always bunny, but they don't find anything conclusive. And in one of the police last police reports, it said after a very extensive investigation into this and all other cases of the same nature, it is still unsubstantiated as to whether or not there really is a white rabbit. And so to this day, no one knows who that bunny man was or what motivated him. Brian Connelly's theory was that there was a grumpy old man that owned that property across the street from Bennett's uncle's house.
And that grumpy old man was very angry about all the development that had been happening in the area. He died about a year before that first event. And so Brian Connolly thinks that it's a family member that basically is out there, was fighting the good fight for old grandpa, whatever. Also in the Klu Klux Klan, perhaps perhaps a deep racist, but he didn't have the right stuff with them. So it's just like I just give you that big mask, the rabbit outfits.
Fine. I'm so angry. Now, here's the good news, there has been a film series called The Bunnymen. Oh, OK. Have you seen it one?
Now, I don't like this. Can we read the video views review? Yeah, it's terrible, it's terrible. Bunnymen hops onto the screen as the new horror icon. It's are you for real? Is it right there? It's horrible. It takes place in a Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah, I watched the first 11 minutes of it. Oh, my God. This afternoon it's on Amazon Prime. Please feel free to sign up. And your password.
It's it's a Carl Lindbergh film. And, you know, when you're looking for a film, what I recommend is that you look on if you look on like IMDB or the cast list and it says who played who? If none of the characters have last names, you know, you're in for a treat because it's like Johnny and Rachel and Digby in Texas and you're just like, oh, no, this is not this is not going to be good.
And there was you know that Carl Lindbergh loved Texas Chainsaw Massacre because the first literally the first eight minutes are just a series of women, bloody women stumbling out of like abandoned houses and like thinking they're free and then getting caught. But then it happens again to a different girl. And you're like, wait, was that other one back in time? And this is now the present? Or is this just two different girls that got loose? What the fuck is whose house is that?
There's no mailbox or the last night there's no last names is just it was tough to follow. And do you mind if I just tell you about Bunnymen, please? There's just when it gets into, like, the part where you're like, OK, now where it's there's five people driving in a car. Oh, no, sorry, there were six because there's four people in the backseat of this car. You know how you do it. You know, always if you're going to go on a road trip, you shove four people really uncomfortably in the back and then just this big truck comes and starts ramming the back of the car for no reason.
And they're like, did they pull over? It's just like, who would pull over when someone's trying to kill you with a truck? That's not the thing to do. No, you drive away. And also it's like a big truck. You could probably get away. Yeah, I mean, it was just a Tercel, but still I mean. Yeah, kicked two of those people out of the backseat and you're going to fly. That's for real.
But you know what they do? They pull over to apologize to the truck for making a man. And one of the guys in the backseat is like, send a girl so she can act sexy and he'll forgive us, I swear to God. So then they send her. Oh, you can write the rest of yourself. And you should. You should. Oh, honey. So this was such a hit, this film. Yeah, that.
Then there's Bonnyman too. I didn't have time to watch it. I'm so sorry. One by one, they all fall down, is their tagline. This goes a little bit. This is it's a little bit more Reservoir Dogs, it looks. Yeah, it does. It has the look and feel and the bunny. And then, of course, there's Bunny Man massacre. Oh, they didn't call it three degludec massacre. This is there were two posters.
I think this one must be the European release there is in the tunnel. I can only read part of the quote, but it says if I'm going to guess, it says, if you thought bunnies were soft and cuddly, think again.
Yeah, I can fucking tell also. Yeah, there was bunny man for also.
How bad do you think it smelled in that had by this point, they use the same. Yes. Can we get some dry cleaning budget in this thing? She but here's the thing. If you have a dream, go for it. Go for it. One, two, three and four times if you need to. That's a good message. Tell this story. Tell the story of your heart. It needs to be told. Yeah. OK, here's what I love.
The town of Clifton. You got it. Well then you now have fully embraced this urban legend because every year at the stroke of Midnight Oil, we now know they have a thing called the Clifton Haunted Trail, which is a Halloween thing that they do on the website, the Clifton Hunter Trail Dotcom. It says it's scheduled for October twenty seventh from seven to 10 p.m. I don't know if that was twenty eighteen or if they're so on their shit yet they're already planned and completely set up for twenty nineteen.
But the website says eight acres filled with scary skits and spooky scenes down at. You know, you have to look at this website. There are some upsetting shit on there. One one is, it's a it's a rabbit costume. But then the rabbit has these insane like piranha things like if you brought a 12 year old there they'd have a nervous breakdown for sure. And there was a picture with like it looked like a selfie, but it was all evil clowns, like, all right, everyone's into it.
It seems to going to monster movies under the moon, concession stands, selling food, drinks and other goodies. Please refer to the vendor page for more information where sturdy shoes. So you walk down a trail that's one half mile long in the woods now and then like terrible rabbits and clowns come at you and snacks and drinks. See, vendor page parking is available in town and at Clifton Elementary. So you go to the park and then haul your ass down the trail, which right there I'd just be like, OK, cancel those tickets.
Can I bring a scooter one? Are those scooters. Oh, like a lark. Yeah. One of those Getaround one's person goes to the Grand Canyon. I did it. Either one. A snappy arazi, a snazzy a rascal. We did it. We did it as a team. No dogs allowed on the trail. Oh you're your dog. Can't go and then just start biting the shit out of some people. Rabbit Oh no. It was a good dog I would attack.
I know. And try to save you. Yes. Oh, that's cute. All proceeds benefit the town of Clifton. Let's please all go to this next year. I'll be there. I think it could be good really quick. There's a cryptozoologist named Loren Coleman has a blog called Krypto Mundo, and he also wrote the book Weird Virginia. And yeah, right. And in a section on the Bunnymen, he believes that this urban legend is in direct association with the man of Maryland.
They were friends there, really. They were in the army together really quick. And this is definitely for another podcast. But the goat man of Maryland, just so you know, is an ax wielding half animal, half man creature that was once a scientist who worked in the Beltsville Agricultural Research Center experimenting on goats until one experiment backfired. And then he was mutated into a goat man who roams the back roads of Beltsville, Maryland, attacking cars with a nice.
Whatever dude I am, that's what goats like, cars attacking cars, goat, there's they're so nuts to ever make that up. Needed a pic four of those 10 items, you know. Yeah. OK, I'm going to end this on an up note. I would love that because most of this was bullshit. My first you partying with me for it. But there is one true horror story about the Lorton prison that is historically accurate and it's pretty interesting.
So in June of 1972, 1917, there's a women's suffrage movement called the Silent Sentinels. Mother fucker. Do it, OK. Hey, lady. So they had been protesting in front of the White House, demanding the right to vote, and on November 15, 1917, 1917, they were arrested and brought to Lorton prison and that was referred to as the night of terror as these women were chained, beaten. One 74 year old suffragette was stabbed with a broken end of her picketing banner.
The protest leader, Lucy Burns, was shackled with her arms over her head, stripped and left freezing in a cell. Alice Paul began a hunger strike to protest the torture. So they held her down and force fed her raw eggs through a tube that they shoved down her throat. The thing about a high note you were going to end on is to say, get ready. This is insane. No, the silent sentinels were tortured for two weeks in that prison and then released.
But I guess this is the Heino, the word of this abuse in this prison spread and suddenly everybody started getting really fucking into the suffragette movement. And in two years later, in 1919, women won the right to vote.
And that kind of is the story of the Fairfax. We get. Whoa. Another terrifying, legendary story, I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that there's a ton of X's in that story.
Stephen, you just yes, just like about the ax ax work is all over the place. Wait, hold on. I can hear your dog snoring. Yes. OK, the.
That's Frank. He's done nothing all day, I snoring like I feel like you were laughing at the one girl snore.
Wait, hold on. I'm going to put Frank in some warm powder, put her bra in the fridge freezer.
OK. OK, now we're going to do the the hometown for this quilt. We're going to wrap it up. And this is the hometown that got performed all the way back in twenty eighteen in Nashville, Tennessee.
We innocent babies. We did not know what was coming. Oh whatever. Just living a date. Do you always think I wish I could go back and warn you? Like whenever I hear a date from 2000, I'm always like, how far was that from 9/11?
You know what I mean? Like, oh, I wish we could all do something about it.
No, there's nothing to be done. Yeah, well, the government one could say the government could have done something beforehand, but they didn't. Why this turned it turn. Let's not do your website. Right. Your truth or website right now. That's for your private life. That's my other Bodhgaya with 9/11. Truth or politics.
No, this actually is a very well told hometown story. Also told with a hometown accent. God bless every time it's better. It just makes it better. It just does.
Um, do we have time. I brown around town bird. Hey now wait everyone. His right hand is raised right now. You're disqualified. OK, sit down. Karen has some stuff to tell you. This is really important and you have to listen. Yeah. Like you haven't been this whole time. God damn it. Listen, roommate, that's what me and my sister say. Did I tell you that story? I was I was on the phone with my sister as she was teaching third grade because she's been doing it for thirty years and she didn't give a fuck anymore.
So we're like gossiping on the phone, even edit that out. If it goes like, oh, yeah, she'll be super pissed. We're talking on the phone. She's like, anyway, I was at this bar and it was super. And then she goes, hold on, excuse me. Roommate starts very self righteously yelling at the children up there quickly, how dare you? And I'm like, Laura, we've been on the phone for ten minutes.
They deserve to do whatever they want. I just picture them. She hadn't given them any work to do. They're all just staring at. Yeah. Miss Kilgariff. Anything. We're bored. OK, so here's the rules and the please trust us that this is this is over. This is time tested and mother approved.
We want it.
It needs to be local. Nobody gives a shit about where you grew up.
Nashville, Tennessee, Tennessee, Tennessee, Kentucky, Tennessee. We care about you in this state. You can be drunk, but you can't be so drunk that you can't follow your own stories to drinks.
I think, Max, for me in my drinking days, it would have been seven. But whatever it's like, it's it's about body mass. It's about tolerance. Are you a better storyteller when you're drunk? Probably. How's your diction? Normally, yeah, I'm sober. And look what's happening. I mean, it's a mess. What was the other one that was really key? And don't don't make it. Do make it. No reading. Thank you.
You go. Right, right, right. Yeah. Reading's lame. I feel like people don't know that one already said, oh everyone hates me. Oh yes. You have to remember that because you got chosen. Everyone else hates your guts. So I wouldn't come up here being like a first. I want to give a shout out to my buddy like no act like you have thirty seconds or everyone's about to kill you. Yes. I'm sorry.
Anyway, if you can win them over. Yes I can. One just know you are on not parole. Probation. Probation was a probation. This is a true crime. OK, ok. And so my turn. Yes. To pick I was sex. Yeah. Lights a little bit.
Um I hate doing this in three pointing at you. Yeah. Yeah. You ok. Come on. Did you hear everyone go.
Oh oh oh. And then you need to go behind you.
There's a look at events. Can we tell everyone. Look at him. My he's he's missing the real rumble for this. Yes. So we appreciate it. Oh that's his Grammy there. Hold that up again. There's a giant eye and a giant ear. Look and listen. Shout out to that. I hold up a giant thumb to you. Hey, oh, hey, hey. You're going to hear today. Kelly bail. Kelly, bail, everybody.
Why? And I want you to know one of my ex-husband husbands. Yes, yes, actually was he works for the prisons and was the the guy that got out like no lie, he was his helper. He was actually he like said something to help get him out because he's a real doodoo. Is he just if there's any place you can say, shithead, it's here. My ex-husband is a real shithead. OK, well, you did it.
She already got you've got them all on your side now at my murder. Is it literally happened next door? No, I live. Yes. Whoa. OK, this is good. Real quick question. Yes, ma'am. Is there anything we need to know about John Brown or that situation that I didn't say? Probably some gay stuff happened between him and my husband. Ex-husband.
Oh, shit. Well, he divorced me otherwise. OK, got it. Yeah, I'm just. Where where where are you from? Actually, here in Nashville. OK. I live about three, four miles away from here, so OK. And at a party at your house. Come on, I'll cook for you. OK, so the story is, is that my next door neighbors, they had a few children, of course, and their oldest son owned a bar and he was a good guy.
You know, he had some issues, but whatever. But he we all do. We all but he broke up a domestic violence situation and he was very like he did the same thing, you know, like every so he would come over every Saturday morning and visit with his parents. Well, the guy that he had separated, the funny way, he did make a big deal out of it, just like get the fuck out of here and, you know.
Yeah. And then he told her he's like, you can stay here, we'll buy you a drink. And she's like, OK, you know? But anyway, then, of course, they got back together because we all know how that works anyway. So the guy got mad and comes over. And I'm telling you, all these are like the nicest people in the world. And they he walked, you know, walked in and was visiting with his mother and dad.
And the guy walked in and knew that he would be there and shot him dead in front of his family. Oh, next door to your house. Next door. And I'm telling you, like, these people are just good people. So maybe within two years, the mother and father both died and the house is sitting empty and it probably won't ever be rented. And then it was like a big deal because it happened about maybe 18 years ago.
The guy got caught. He like was in a car wash and like the SWAT team, like Nashville got used their SWAT team. And it was like that. But yes. Yeah. So that's the murder next door. And so now we call it the murder house because it is the murder house. Yes, it is. And how long has it been empty for? Four, I would say. Yeah, since 2001, it's been empty.
She lived on the other side. That is that is my child. Is my child. What's her name. Caylee Bill. Katelyn Bell. It's Katelyn Bell, everybody. Yea, but thank you for letting me share. Absolutely, that was great. That's how you do it. Thank you. All right, all right, guys, we've we've quilted it together once again, we have thank you for joining us.
Thank you for being there when spirit with us and yeah, just keep it real. We're we're at the beginning of the end of the quarantine. We're going to hug you soon. Just believe it.
We're going to we're going to hug you a bear hug right outside my window, just floating on the air.
That's good luck. That's good luck. Is it? Thanks. I say that about everything, but yes. OK, I think so.
Yeah. I guess I should just say. Frank, Frank. Frank, you're good. OK.
Well, so are you in that separate machine, my God, please stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? I.