This is exactly right. What if you thought you killed someone but couldn't remember in the new series, Tell Me Your Secrets, Emma is trying to figure out what role she played in the disappearance of a missing girl in the missing girl's mother is obsessed with finding Emma and the truth from the executive producer of The Undoing. And Big Little Lies comes the Amazon original series Tell Me Your Secrets, premiering February 19th on Amazon Prime video Gulabi.
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We need to make some money. And so Minyans offered us fakin ten dollars and to do an episode strictly about Minyans. And we said yes.
We said we'll do those weird little voices. We'll put on those overalls, we'll have one eye.
And we're not being taped. We're doing it anyways.
I've watched those movies with Nora. There's so many times they're genuinely hilarious movies. They're great. I was so bored and I was probably high and I put the first one on and I was like, oh, I was going to make fun of this. And it's Darling, what is the actual movie called Despicable Me?
Despicable, you know, even movie. And and there's our ten dollars. We've earned it. Yeah. Then we did it. So but part one, two and I'm assuming three because one and two I can stand by and say that is each turn that on. You'll enjoy yourself. Absolutely. I agree. And ching ching ching ching.
Oh my God. I feel that dollar dollar bills pile up. Hey, happy Valentine's Day.
It's Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. So nice. I forgot.
Do you know what I do? Here's my confession for Valentine's Day. Norah was having a fundraiser, a See's candy fundraiser.
OK, these are the words I want in my life more. OK, good. Because you're about to have them in your life.
I bought 12 boxes of See's candy, heart shaped boxes, Valentine's boxes for everybody at exactly right. And and then just left them in the box on the counter. Completely forgot about that one. Then I was like, well, what am I supposed to fucking drive all over the place?
I should have sent them in the mail. That was going to be my idea is like, you know, Happy Valentine's Day, love George and Karen.
I was going to say, hey, since I'm the other half of exactly right, can I get can I get a name on there? Of course.
For you, you're going to be in there. There's a chance, though, that I've opened a couple and eaten only the because it is like a it's not nuts and choose. It's the mix. Yes. So I don't like I would say three quarters of what's in there. Vince and I definitely there's a there's a rift in this household of sand shoes or assorted.
And I'm a definitely assorted heesen that's sorted. I know you're going to say it's because I love the OK, I know this is in Minnesota. We're not supposed to be talking about shit.
But guys, if you don't hold on a second. Yes, we are. This is our.
Who are the people? Who are the people. That's right. That listen to podcasts and then go on social media to say, I don't like when they talk on the they didn't do it my way. Go away and start your own podcast. You say hello and you immediately start reading out of murder pedia. Go do that please. Wishing you well. Good bye. Good luck at Lake Effect here.
But so if you don't know if you live in the Midwest or something and have never been to L.A. or through the airport in California, See's Candy is our is the best fucking chocolates I've ever had in my entire like the best. There are never not on our Hanukkah dessert table.
It's just like the fucking thing. It's the thing. It's a perfect gift. If you don't know what to get people at Christmas, you get the two pound box of either assorted or nuts and choose depending on your personality, Buchen, Monster or not. And then if you don't know what you bring to a party, you don't want to bring a bottle of wine or whatever, everyone loses their shit over a box of See's candy.
It's genuinely great. And they're Kamal's. That's mostly what I'm in it for because they're Kamal's. Are Dacula so insanely perfect. Another ten bucks. There we go. Welcome, Mary. Mary. See who is a feminist icon. That's right. Good old Mary. See on the front of every box. That's right. I'm going to come out of covid with Marius's haircut. She is like the total thirties finger wave. But it's great. It's great.
Right. And she has her circular glasses and a beautiful shawl. Yeah.
Has anyone ever gone as Mary see for Halloween? If you have. Mary, please, Mary. See? Oh, my God. That would be the best idea. You just carry around a box and you give people chocolates because when you go in their stores in the mall, you get you immediately get a free sample of a chocolate.
So there's a reason you have if you have See's candy at your local mall and if you do some explaining this to you is stupid. But if you do, the reason the line is long oftentimes is not because people are having to get those one and two pound box of candy is because they're up there like I'll take some of the molasses chips because they're it's for free. Right. Or if you go like if you when you were like ice. Will it be like, I want a free chocolate, I can't afford chocolate, so you go in there and buy one of their suckers or lollipops, which are delicious for like a buck, and then you also get a free chocolate?
Yeah. Oh, I love it. I love that place.
It's old fashioned hometown. That's right. Good times. Right. But who I am on a later podcast will discuss. I wonder where Cece is and isn't if it's like a West Coast thing, if it's if it's Pacific Northwest and like I've only seen it in California.
But I actually I here's how I know that it's further than that, because one year bought about a two pound box of See's candy to my boyfriend at the time's mother, who lived in Oregon thinking it was this amazing gift of like, let me bring local candy of my people. And I got off the plane and there's this thing like a kiosk right outside my gate. So I was like, well, here's the thing that you can get to. It was like I brought her a big box of Eminem's.
There you go.
Enjoy your candle. And that's why it didn't work out like the like. And that's why we had to let that relationship go. That's right. And it made her parents. That's another conversation for another time. It is Thohir. That's the worst first this week. Sure. Why not? Let's change it up. It's V it's Valentine's Day. It's Galán Times Downtimes Day.
And this is called Science Teacher. Just a good old gal. Hello, podcasters and podcast listeners. Good one. Hello. This is a story about my high school AP biology teacher. We will call her Dr. Benson for one. Everyone in my school called her Dr. Lucy in a condescending way. That was her first name. And we always say, you know Lucy as in Lucifer.
Oh, yeah, the stars that bad and gets better. She was a tough old girl weighing in at no more than one hundred and ten, soaking wet and standing at a ferocious five feet. Even she could scare literally any six foot tall high school boy with one glance. Might I mention this woman is almost 80 years old and still hasn't stopped teaching? Yes. Anyway, Dr. Benson had a reputation for going off on tangents about her own life. In fact, the five students of our AP biology class, all girls go girls, she said, were many times able to get her to go down rabbit trails to avoid taking quizzes.
Yes. Yes. Dr. List. Dr. Benson, please tell us about your lives, because we didn't study. Dr. Benson, did you have sarsaparilla when you were growing up? Tell us all about it.
Tell us about hanging out with Mrs. See's Candy. And what was that like? What was Mary like as a rebellious teen? She told us all about her first love, who was a man in the Navy who ended up with her best friend. Ouch. Both of them later ended up dying on the bed together. The notebook style.
Oh, that was true love. Yeah, she does the best. She told us how she got her doctorate in animal science. Wrestling cows and pigs. Yes. A five foot tall woman wrangling cattle is still the funniest thing I've ever imagined. So many stories. But there was one I want to share in this email.
When she was 17 years old, she was a clerk for a gas station in her hometown, one time she was alone, counting out the money and about to close up shop. Just then, a large, burly man with a ski mask and a gun walked in. The first thing Dr. Benson said to him was, hey, we don't actually have cameras and I have a terrible memory. So you can just skip the whole I am a scary masked man.
Bit this took him back with so much fucking energy that he actually took off the mask and demanded the money.
It distracted him just enough for Dr. Benson to have enough time to grab and this is all caps her personal shotgun that she kept in the store to point at him. Oh, yes. This small 17 year old brought her dad's shotgun with her to every shift for this exact moment. Yeah, the guy ended up just running out and Dr. Benson closed up shop, as usual.
Also, the gas station did have one camera, so that did capture his face yet. And the guy got arrested for attempted robbery. She said she didn't know what happened after that to the guy. But I can imagine he felt a little emasculated, having been beaten out by a five foot tall 17 year old girl. Stay sexy and don't ever try to fight. Small people all live. And then it says, P.S., if you want this story at the time she stopped someone who was assaulting her husband, just let me know.
I have got far too many stories about this amazing woman.
Write her fucking biography immediately.
But in the meantime, all of send that story and put your name Olive in the subject line, because we'll pull that immediately. Absolutely. Unless you're a ghost. How are you a person from today who's named Olive? Unbelievable.
Lauren and Kurt Braunohler from our podcast network and Lauren are our friend. Their daughter's name is Olive, which is is coming back. It's the best. Come on back, Olive. I was a little mad that I couldn't name my cat. That because I have a friend, a daughter that was all that would just be brewed. Right.
I hope you really got in their face. OK, and then their other kid, their son's name is Gus, which is the other best cat's name in the world. You're like, what? Why are you doing that? Maybe I shouldn't be friends with them anymore. Yeah, maybe you should break up with them as a couple. Isn't just the hot tub cat's name. Yes, it does.
But that was that he was before of them. So it's OK. Oh OK. All right. OK, here's my first one. Hi friends. This is a creepy neighbor story. I don't remember if you asked for that, but let's assume you did when. I'm sure we did. When I lived in Salt Lake City, my husband and I lived in a row home that was only four houses long. I don't know what that is. You know what?
I'm guessing it's a house that's stuck to three other houses, like in New York, how they have the railroad homes. Bet it's like that where they're just like straight, narrow, but then the brooms break off. Hold on a second. Oh, look at Steven showing us Robota. Thank you, Stephen. This is their houses that are just right next to each other, mashed together. Yeah, got it. All right. So our next door neighbor was a 50 year old guy named Earl.
He was single, worked at the gas station next to our house. So was always outside his house, smoking and hanging with people he met at the station. I was right.
I was walking to my car one day, not long after I moved in, and he stopped me and asked if I wanted to come inside to see his, quote, extensive butcher knife collection, and went on and went on to say he loved to sneak up on people and come at them slasher style as a joke. I politely said, no, thank you and to never, ever do that to me, oh, my boundaries are all red flags in the neighbor boundaries.
Oh my God. OK, fast forward to three years later, still living at the same place. I was coming home on the bus from work like I do every day. It was a local bus route with the same people. And I thought it was odd that a guy I didn't recognize got on and off at the exact same stops I did. I decided to take a weird route home to see if he was in fact following me or if I was paranoid.
I made a ton of random turns that looped back on itself and he still followed me about 20 steps behind me. I went to call my husband and realized my phone was dead and then in parentheses, a common occurrence for me. Me too.
My husband worked later in the evening and I realized I was being followed while walking to my house where I would be alone with a dead phone. So my panic brain drove me in a direction that I didn't expect straight to my creepy neighbor, Earl's friend. Oh, he opened the door and I told him some dude was following me and without skipping a beat, he said, I'm on it and came out of the house with, you guessed it, a butcher knife and a taser and the other or the guy following was loitering behind a tree in front of my driveway and ditched quick.
After seeing Earl in all his knifed up glory, Earl sat in front of my door with his knife and taser despite my protests until my husband came home two hours later crying. It's the cutest.
Oh, George is full on crying. You love. You love the twist of Earl, huh?
Well, first of all, I feel guilty that I was like, he's the, you know what I mean? And now I'm like, when you need someone in a moment, like, how can I just say the story real quick? And I was like, twenty one. I had my first car and I it fucking of course died in the middle of a busy intersection and I don't know how to do car things. I'm twenty one and I'm just standing out there crying and people are honking at me.
The only person who got out of the car to help me was this enormous bully, tatted up, scary dude.
And he saw me crying. He pushed my car out of the way. He gave me his card because he was a tattoo artist, it turned out. And I was just like he was the only person who stopped to help me.
So that's giving me those vibes. And I find that very lovely.
I mean, that is a beautiful story. And I think here's the thing. Earl was giving off red flag vibes. You weren't wrong to say it because we all need to go over it time and again. It's like, yeah, sometimes when people collect weapons, that means ultimately they would like to hurt people. But what we're learning from this story is it doesn't mean that they want to hurt the wrong people. Right. It's like Earl was a secret hero waiting for his moment and is with his butcher knives to shine.
However, I feel like her instinct not to go inside his house was the right one, too. Yes, but also that's just good neighbor politics. You don't want to be up in your neighbor's house. Yes, you don't want to. Good fences make good neighbors. You just keep your distance. Keep stay likable by staying far away.
Amazing. That's that's what makes it all work. OK, so I've got a husband came home two hours later. Anyway, I don't know if the moral of the story is trust your creepy neighbors or charge your fucking phones or who the fuck knows, stay sexy and start collecting butcher knives Aaron.
Wonderful instincts. Beautiful instincts.
I think that was it's nice to have it's like a silver lining story happen every month.
It's also our our friend Neil Mahoney, who was one of the most wonderful people anyone has ever met him, has met, collected switchblades and switchblades and knives. And he just passed away like a month ago. Yeah. And everyone's devastated. And it made me think of him, too.
And like, he he had he could have creepy neighbor wives if you didn't know him. He was kind of hot, but he was hot and he had shy guy vibes, which actually only adds to it doesn't take away from in my opinion, it adds to.
Absolutely. He listen to this podcast.
And as we got popular with it, he sent me one of the loveliest notes about how watching this happen to us was. Like watching two girls like win the lottery and buy all the roller skates and gumballs they wanted, it was like the cutest, loveliest and he worked on Mr. Show, so he knew from the beginning.
I've known him for a long time. He was my secret crush for a long time. It's very fucking sad. The idea that we lost Neil Mahoney of all people is is a goddamn tragedy is it's just wrong. It is. So that kind of made me like, yes, tear up from that.
Um, this one's called let's bring it back up. This one's called my dad tasered Phil Spector like that because it's a spoiler, but it's also the best.
OK. Yes. Hi, Georgia. Karen, Stephen and all furry friends. It's inclusive. I like that. I've been wanting to write in for the longest time about my, quote, connection with Phil Spector. My dad was a police officer in Southern California for almost twenty five years and was one of the officers who responded to the nine one one call after he shot and killed Lana Clarkson, whom Spector was resisting arrest, which I didn't know. And my dad was the one who tasered him while I was eight at the time.
And it was extremely fascinated that my dad chased a celebrity. And I told everyone I could and I was told to stop telling people hashtag, oops, an eight year old being like, hey, my dad is OK. I remember watching the trial on TV as a kid and how they had to blur out my dad's name and face for privacy. He was actually asked to stand up so people could see his height and weight and it was questioned why he even had a tase specter, maybe because he had just killed someone questioning my question, because my mom actually attended the trial one day and said Spector turned around and stared at her and she got instant chills.
When I told my dad about your podcast and how I wanted to write in with the story and suggested to cover Phil Spector, he replied with why that piece of shit doesn't deserve any more publicity. Hmm. Needless to say, when Spector died a few weeks ago, my dad's response was fucking finally, thanks for all the stories that keep me entertained. When I drive from Arizona to California to visit my family, I've turned my boyfriend into a murder Reno, and we've bonded over our interest in true crime.
I'm really glad my knowledge of serial killers hasn't scared him away yet. SDM, Kelsey, Kelsey, nice job. OK, here's a well, I'm not going to read you the subject line of this one, right, because it is a it's a give away or Hey Karen, Georgia, Steven and all the amazing fur babies. So just immediately trying to start a fight.
Right at the beginning, I went to an engineering university where our primary focus to study is aerospace engineering among all of the smart technical people here. I was an art major. Oh, I always felt like an outcast. But some of the headlines my university makes made me feel more normal than I ever felt from a chemistry professor throwing a class made bomb into our pond to a professor shooting at a group of her colleagues because she didn't get tenure.
Oh, that's the one I did. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm going to pretend like I knew this, but Steven actually just read it to us. University of Alabama at Huntsville is where I'm guessing this person went to.
Oh yeah. Right, right. Because I did the story of Amy Bishop, who shot a bunch of people point blank in a meeting. Horrible. Horrifying. OK, my university keeps me shaking my head. What takes the cake, though, is one mysterious silver boxes chained down to benches started randomly appearing around campus. No one reported it. However, someone eventually did report the mysterious boxes and suddenly the bomb squad descended upon our campus carefully. They blow up one of the boxes only to find the plane.
Oh, what kittens would know who a playing card inside was as these policemen stood there in confusion, a laughing group.
Oh, a live action role playing came to tell police that these mysterious silver boxes were part of a game they were all playing for their quote unquote, quest guys. The police were not amused and instructed them to go around campus and remove the boxes from all their locations. So long story short, laughing isn't unusual at my university, but our police department draws the line slurping games that involve Masseria silver boxes you snuff, right. That also that are chain.
You think think it through. It couldn't be unless you had put crime scene tape around them. It couldn't have been more ominous. Yes, that's no one wants that shit.
Let's take a lock box in a public place.
It's like if you see something, say something. Remember that quote. And don't be the person who puts the thing there that some. One has to see it the same part, Sacto don't make people say things about the thing they can see. Thank you so much for being an awesome podcast to listen to. You always seem to brighten my day while keeping me aware of horrible people.
Much love Sabrina, Sabrina, Buckett new.
I feel like you should be loud and proud about your art student status because, yeah, they could be so much worse as everyone at your school has. Shown something. One thing we can be thankful for is the recent dog adoption bill shelters are being cleared out, but that means you may not know that much about your new best friend. And barks breed and health kit is the best way to help, you know, your dog, new or old, developed by PhDs and veterinarians embarked provides the most accurate and comprehensive breed identification and genetic health results.
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Yeah, that's really good because it can save you money at the vet too, because knowing what type of dog you have, finding out it's not just a mutt, but it's a combination of this dog in that dog, then you figure out what they're predisposed to and you can actually save money preventively at the vet, which everybody needs to do. That's a great point. So right now, NPR has an offer on their breed and health kit for our listeners to embark vet dotcom right now to get free shipping and save thirty dollars off your Umbach breed and health kit with promo code murder.
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Twenty five percent go by. My last one is just hometown story. Oh, and and maybe I picked it because of the opening, maybe not high to all, but especially Cookie. Mm hmm. Hello. When I heard your call for stories about hippie parents who went on to do good in the world, I knew it was my chance to write and I don't remember that.
Do you hear? Yes, I do. OK, great.
It's the woman who remember the mom worked for, missing and murdered indigenous women. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
OK, my parents, Lori and Mel met in the 1970s when they were both attending a non traditional program at the University of Montana. One December night, they were hanging out at the train yard with their mutual friend, Joel, as one apparently does in small town Montana. They decided to take a look inside one of the freight trains. One thing led to another and the train took off.
Oh, Joel Beeld after a day or two.
But my parents spent the next month riding the rails like old timey hobos and ended up falling in love.
Oh, I know. Yeah. When they finally made it back to Montana, they moved into a teepee with about 20 friends. And then it says in parentheses, it was the 70s and I'm sure my very white parents were less aware of cultural appropriation than they would be now. So they started planning for their future. And while my mom had planned to become a nutritionist, my dad talked her into going to medical school. She eventually became a pediatrician and went on to start a program where she provided medical care to all of the foster kids in Denver, Colorado.
Oh, she never told me much about the kids she'd work with. And I won't share any of their stories because they're not mine to tell. But I will say that it's inspiring that after 30 years of seeing some really fucked up shit, she still believes in the inherent goodness of people. She fucking provided medical care to all the foster kids in Denver. That's that saintly. My mom is also known for her understated, dry sense of humor.
She's given me great advice, like, quote, If a man who has been divorced twice tried to get you to move on to a boat with him, just say no, which I Larry's and quote, Sometimes things seem bad, but you just get used to them and then they get worse.
She gave me that second bit of advice in January 20, 20. So she fucking was a visionary, visionary and a fucking predictor of the future. Yeah. Stay sexy and be careful who you hang out with in the train yard because you might fall in love. I love Hannah and Hannah's pronouns. Are she her lovely romantic story?
It reminds me of like in college when you all go to a Denny's after like an event and you end up sitting at that Denny's for like four hours laughing your ass off talking. But then you realize after a while, this seems to be my one of my favorite things to talk about is after a while you start to understand that energy that everyone is I mean, and this is very theater student. Yeah. Typical thing I'm talking about. But you realize after a while the energy is actually coming from two people that have a crush on each other, that they're the reason that everyone's there, those two people want to be around each other but are nervous.
And so everyone else that they're hanging out and having fun. But there is there are basically two there's an energy between two people that is like everyone else is feeding.
And they're like it's the only way they can break down their boundaries. Enough to be the funny. Yeah. Like you're you want to be around your friends when you're with the person have a crush on, because that way you can be yourself and they see what you're really like because you're so fucking nervous and.
Yeah. And there's pressure. Yes. Pressure is lessened. And so it's like the three of them are hanging out in the train yard, you know, casual, no big deal. And they're like it would be funny if we all got on this thing. But her parents were basically like, I'll get on this train and stay on it forever with you two, three days. Joel was like, this isn't going to happen for me. This is stupid.
And now we're like four counties away.
How am I going to get back home? Like, I'm not going to be making out with either of you. So I'm out peace and then just jump.
I can just picture him just jumping and rolling you from throw money. What do you see, Jimmy? Crack corn. When the guy finally is like, I can't sing Jimmy Crack or get me out of here. Oh, train life. All right. Are you ready for the last one? Always. I'm not going to read you the subject line, although it's funny. Hi, Karen, Georgia and Stephen. Hi. I'm writing in because you all requested embarrassing stories.
And although my life is full of them, this one from my high school career ascends to a level beyond bring it. Lucky for you, I've resorted to thinking about high school.
It's I've resorted to thinking about high school as some distant fictional comedic first, which makes it palatable to a. Stranger, everyone try that. Everyone, it's a goal not yet written chapter in your memoirs, so just start practicing telling it. There's to be able to begin to transition out of bitterness, rage and pain from high school and take this person's plan of thinking about it as some distant, fictional comedic farce is like a life plan it has.
And everyone know who's in their 20s right now. You're going to also do that with your 20s, so don't worry about it. Yeah, as a person in their 50s, let me just tell you this whole thing.
This is the way you do all of life, all of it.
Just like Kelsey's mom said, it just keeps getting worse. So you have to, like, be developing this constant idea of, like, it's not hilarious. When I went into foreclosure, I always be like that girl did this like I refer to myself at thirty five as that girl was fucking crazy.
Oh my God. I'd never hang out with her that it was me. It was. Yeah. OK, I'm from a town outside Nashville, Tennessee called Brentwood for a majority of my high school career. I was going through a very angsty, misunderstood phase. Aside from the fact that I played on the rugby team, I kept my internal aggression to myself. Except for what? Except for by accident. One fateful Friday afternoon, our high school was our high school was hyped up for the football game that night.
So naturally, after the last bell rang, the teens flooded into the hallways with increased amounts of shoving and crowding. I was navigating the chaos, as usual, my hands full of books in my mind, full of numbness and apathy.
That's right. That's how you do it. It was at this moment that the urge to yawn overcame me with my hands full. I couldn't cover my mouth, which I thought was fine. Spoiler it was not fine.
Immediately after the yawn began, one of the football players, who was probably about six foot five, rounded the corner with his arms outstretched like an eagle over the crowded hallway. I saw I saw it coming and tried to end the yawn prematurely, but it was too late, which also you can't get beyond premature.
You'll never look chill trying to end the yone. Also, your muscles are set in such a way where you have to finish the yarn. You can't just like snap it back close. You're dying, you'll die, you'll die. But it was too late.
By the time his arm reached my face, it fit into my mouth perfectly.
Almost like a puzzle piece I didn't have. I didn't have time to feel anything other than disgust in horror as I reflexively bit down on his arm.
Oh, this is his fault so far. I just wanted to go. I mean, it's very football player to just like, fly like an eagle. First of all, it must be fun to be six foot five up above all the other teams. You don't have to look straight into anyone's accurate, sad, apathetic base.
You're up there flying like an eagle. Big night. The game, the game's coming.
As I quickly unlatch, the crowd carried the two of us in opposite directions, not giving any time to acknowledge what just happened. And looking back, I am incredibly thankful for the surge of sports testosterone that filled the hallways in that moment. Otherwise I might have made eye contact with the guy and died of embarrassment.
Anyway, thank you for no more. I want. All right. They got away with it.
Basically big yawn then like arm appetizer and then just never the twain shall meet the two ships passing in the night. It could have been love but instead it was just like tasted your arm and then walked with this guy.
We're going call Chad. If Chad is a murderer, you know, and he is hearing this, you need to right your side of the story. And immediately what you thought. Did you go to high school in Brentwood, Tennessee? Were you a six foot five football player? Do you remember that fateful Friday afternoon of the big game?
Could you not like because your you had a sucking wound. What, because you changed his entire trajectory in life because he was going on to university, be like the fucking star quarterback or whatever, and he got benched fucking what if he had its day, the big game.
So he got high in the bathroom right before last period. And so he is super high. He is flying like an eagle. This is so cool and so high, he gets bit suddenly the drugs turn on him as drugs well. And he's like, oh my God, there is a zombie outbreak. And then he's freaking out for the rest of the night. He doesn't play in the football game. And then he goes on to have a really successful career, very satisfying because he would have become a drug head.
And he did it because he was like, well, I'm never doing. That was his trigger to be like I'm doing I'm not doing drugs because he would have, you know, gateway drugs or thing was definitely on his way to gate way. That's right. However, I really wish this had been and that's how we followed my story.
Because they can be his arm, his arm fit into her mouth. When does that ever happen? Like a puzzle piece. She said, like a puzzle, like a heart shaped puzzle pieces. Maybe they're gross divorces.
They've you know, they've had they're like Brentwood high. When you have your 25th anniversary reunion, that's a golden anniversary, their birthday. When you have your twenty fifth birthday as a high school, when you have your big high school birthday.
What if he had had a crush on her the whole time and he had been wanting to ask her out and then he was about who's coming around is like, you're an eagle man, you can fucking do this.
And then she bit she bit him and then he was like, if that's kind of a sign, there's not. And so she liked me. She went a bit down on my arm, bit me right. Or I, I fuck this up because I put my problem, like if you're six five in high school, you've already you've hit puberty and you have a hairy arm and he's like, I stuck my hairy fucking arm.
And in my crush, you know what if separate from the romance we're projecting out of this, what if it was just a thing where he never lifted his arms again, ever felt like he would that suddenly that was a that's like a new fear he has or he's just like, I can't put my arms out. He was trying to get the nickname The Eagle.
And that day it died when he saw the movie Titanic, he screamed so loud in the theater that he had to.
Yeah, it was very triggered by did. Oh, my God, we did it. Ninfa. Wait, there's more to this.
Oh wow. Shit. Anyway, thank you for all the laughs and the real talk moments surrounding mental health. Your podcast has helped me more than, you know, a smiley face with the colon and a close parentheses.
S DGM SDM as DGM. I don't know if it's nose stay or no sexy, but just ask DGM and don't ever yone without being up to date on your rabies vaccine.
Allison, Allison, thank you. Wonderful story. Allison, thank you for letting us riff, giving us a chance to finally riff. Allison, thank you for letting us be a part of your biting story.
If you've got a biting story or a fly like an Eagle story or Joe Biden story, even, just please give a rabies story.
I remember that in the eighties, rabies was a real thing to be scared about. That's because Kujo was such a wonderful film, wonderful film, and partially shot in Petaluma.
Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, there's a pardon in Kujo where they're driving to the mechanic's house and it's how we used to go home to and from school. It's Bodega Avenue. Yeah. And when I saw it in the movie, I was just like, we've made the gas. You have starts. My brother in high school who was he wasn't he was on a bad track and he had a movie with my dad. And my dad was like, every boy needs a dog to get responsible with.
And so you got my brother. They went to the rescue and there was a puppy and they took him home. And he was the sweetest, dumbest dog I've ever met. He brought my cat the ball, wants to, like, throw the ball, like he was just so sweet and stupid. And my brother named him Kujo. He was because he was an angsty teen with a fucking bad attitude and dumb sweet baby was named Keigo.
He was like a childhood dog. That's hilarious. Oh, right.
You're fucked. We don't care what the story is, we won't remember even asking for it. So just write it in. We just want to hear from you. Right. Cheryl, tell us a story. Right. Your your future memoir. Stories that you're trying to to get some humor around that you still can't tell anyone. You can be anonymous. Write them to us and we'll make fun of them. Sure.
Also, I think in this episode, I think there was a little undercurrent of meat. Cute's if you have a good meat, cute story for your relationship, whether it's like Kelsey's parents on the train or covid imagined meet cute yesterday, like a future like have you met someone in covid? That's like, oh, I never you know what I mean?
I found someone living in the walls of my house is basically one of the one of those stories. He said his name was covered, Jack, and we fell in love. Yeah. I love meet cute stories.
Yeah. If it's real and it better don't creepy pasta us with a meat. You know, other people so mad at you. What a waste of time. This Minnesota is almost an.
Oh shit. We got to get out of here. All right. Stay sexy and don't get murdered by Elvis.
Do you want a cookie I.