I'm Oprah Winfrey, welcome to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast, I believe that one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself is time taking time to be more fully present. Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us. Starts right now.
When we decided to talk about spirituality on life, as I said, call up this man. Spiritual master Deepak Chopra is one of the greatest thought leaders of our time.
The spirit is as real as gravity or time, but it's much more powerful.
Trained as a medical doctor in India, Deepak Chopra has transformed the way the world views mind body healing.
How you think, how you behave can change the very structure of your brain making spirituality accessible to millions.
Deepak to message of personal empowerment impacts people from the streets of Mumbai to the stars of Hollywood.
He's written 65 books selling 20 million copies worldwide, including the super impactful the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, which spent more than a year on the New York Times bestseller list. Deepak inspires us all to confront life's biggest questions. Why am I? Why am I here? What is the meaning of my life? Deepak empowers us to elevate our consciousness to the highest level.
We're spiritual beings. Having a human experience, not human beings. Having a spiritual experience is the other way around.
Please welcome Deepak Chopra.
They're standing up in Radio City for people, all right. I think that what you said, first of all, let's hear what your definition of spirituality is. Spirituality is a journey into self-awareness. It's finding out who you really are. It's your true self, beyond your social must, beyond your ego. And when we are there, we experience love, compassion, joy, equanimity. But we also find spiritual insights, intuitions, creativity, unbounded imagination, freedom and choice.
We find the solutions to every problem because problems come from contracted state of awareness.
Solutions come from expanded so so values, creativity, imagination, all those things are of the spirit. Yeah, I know you've written a book called Spiritual Solutions, which, by the way, I think is one of the best things you've done since seven spiritual laws. Really, really great. Great book. And I was saying to the audience earlier, I believe that for every problem literally other than, you know, food and shelter, the basic needs, but for all of our problems that we think are problems, that the only way they can really be resolved is through a spiritual solution.
That's right. So, you know, if you have a problem, you're living in a contracted state of awareness at that moment, which means you're living in fear. So you're feeling separate. That's where the problem comes when you're connected with other people, with the web of life, which is the beginning of spirituality. That's when solutions occur. And when you're at one, then there are no problems and no solutions. There's just the creative evolutionary impulse of the universe.
And you are the vehicle for. So to become a more spiritual person.
I think that what Tilyard Sheldon said and also what you were saying, that recognizing you are spiritual beings, having a human experience when you just think about that, that is the beginning of spirituality, is it not?
Yes, it's the real you, the observer. So everyone who's listening to us, you're watching us right now. Just turn your attention to who's observing right the second. That presence that you feel right now, that's your so it's not your mind which might be saying, I wish I had gone to the bathroom before I came in here. Some people think the mind is a conversation, OK, but it is beyond. OK, can I do this exercise?
I was just in India with you. Didn't we have the time of our lives was amazing. And this is also true. I went up in the Himalayas to this wonderful spa and I was trained by a yogi for the first time because normally I don't like yoga. And people say, why don't you like about yoga? When I was doing a class with my friend Gayle and Gayle said, I don't like the bending or the stretching part.
What other part is there, Gail? Anyway, I was working with this wonderful yogi in a yoga class, and he had me to lie down flat, close my eyes so I wouldn't try to do this. No matter where you are in the world right now, close your eyes and he would list, as I'm going to do for you, different objects. And I want you to allow those objects to appear before your mind and then let them go as I call out the objects.
OK, a full moon, an oak tree by the bank of a river, a red triangle. Now open your eyes. What did you learn from that experience? This is what I learned. Yeah. Can I tell you what I learned? This is when I really got it. That's why I wanted you to do it. I learned that the observer of the red triangle, the full moon, the tree by the river is the same observer who observes all the thoughts that come in and out of your head all day long.
And just like you could let the Red Triangle and the full moon come in and out of your mind, you have the same control over all the thoughts that are jamming you up all day long.
And that's how I got it.
You are not the Red Triangle, you are not the tree by the river, you are not all of those objects, just like are not all of the thoughts that are coming to your head all day long, just as you observe that. That's when I finally got.
It's beautiful because you realize then you're not a prisoner of your thoughts.
And so you have the ability to control what you were thinking. You can stop yourself.
You can. But here's the difference between the thoughts that you observe and everyone observe right now. Yes. Is that most of the time people are not consciously observing their thoughts. And most of the time they're not consciously thinking the thoughts, you know, just like you're not consciously breathing right now. But if I tell you to consciously breathe, you can. So where do our thoughts normally come from? And thoughts normally come from past experiences or what we call karma, which creates memories, which then creates desire and imagination, which then creates karma all over again.
This is the soul's journey through cosmic time for me.
I want to talk about that. But there are some questions in our audience from people about stopping those thoughts in your head. That's a great little exercise, isn't it? That's when I finally got it. Oh, I'm the observer of the thought. You wanted to say what? Stand up.
High open fact and understanding that we can control these thoughts that are coming out of our head, how do we control them? How? Oh, OK, there are many ways.
So let me share with you one. It's the simple acronym, Stop Estie or be OK. So headstands for stock T stands for take three deep breaths.
And when you're doing that smile everywhere in your body. OK, imagine a beautiful smile everywhere in your body or stands for. Observe what's happening in your body. Just the sensations and p proceed now with kindness and compassion.
OK, so that's it.
The formula. Thank you.
You can also by the way, you can also move from one thought to another by just sitting next to yourself, or you can shift your attention to your breath because you're going to have your attention on two different things. OK, well, if you don't like the thought system, what's the opposite of this dog?
Yeah, but the whole point, everybody is exactly the experiment, because just as you allowing the thought to come and go and you observing it is to recognize if you leave this life class with nothing other than knowing that you control it, it doesn't control you and you are not it.
You are not your thoughts. You are not your thoughts.
You are the observer of your thoughts. And you're the one who's in control.
And leading a true spiritual life is recognizing that you are, as the observer, the one who's in control, and you're not letting your thoughts control you, which is what most people do.
They are driven by their thoughts.
They're not controlling the thoughts of thought to controlling them. Everybody follow. OK, that's great.
So we're talking about karma. Third Law of Motion says for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. Everybody knows that, right? We learned that in physics, in our country, we call that the golden rule. Do unto others as they would have you do on to them. The truth is, whatever you do is already done. That's good.
Karma simply means you have to live with the consequences of the actions you've taken in the past. You have to live with the you have to live with it.
And it also means whatever you put out is coming back. It's an error you're putting out.
It's an echo. It's the ultimate affirmation of free will. The situations of the past have created the circumstances of the present and the choices. But it's up to you what you do with the present.
And you could make creative choices despite the karma and change your karma and change your clothes because it's just energy that you put out.
So let's meet our first guest tonight who has a lot to say about karma. He might surprise you. Take a look.
He's been called the most vicious man in Hollywood. I was known as the bitchy queen who was brutal towards celebrities.
Gossip King Perez Hilton clawed his way to the top of the blogosphere with his celebrity obsessed and often celebrity bashing website.
I not only had an opinion, I had a really loud one, and there was often very mean I would get people nasty nicknames.
Perez would also scribble offensive doodles on photos of famous people, make nasty comments about their children, and unapologetically about gay celebrities.
I was talking about Lance Bass before he'd even told his family I would have Neil Patrick Harris. I was soliciting all his ex boyfriends to come forward and speak to me. It wasn't just outing. I was on a witch hunt.
Then, in a complete about face, a seemingly remorseful Perez delivered an emotional message to his readers.
I am very happy. Scared and ready to make this video I have on my website said things that have been hurtful to people and in the past I would justify everything as comedy and humor, but.
I don't want to have to justify what I do anymore. I need to change and I'm going to starting today.
Please welcome Perez Hilton. Finally, we meet here. Hi. So what what was it? What happened was there was there one moment?
Was it something that somebody wrote it the way they wrote it that hit that nerve for you?
You know, I think we're all the center of our own universe. Yeah. And it can be hard to be objective even though we can work at it. So for a long time, I was in this bubble. I was in my own bubble thinking that what I was doing was OK and sort of disconnected with the real world and what people thought of me. But when I was speaking out about the gay teenagers committing suicide in the fall 2010, I just heard it so loudly.
You're a bully. You're a bully. How could you speak out against that when you're contributing to the downfall of America? That's what I felt. And that's the energy that I was getting. And it was a big wake up call because I didn't view myself like that. I honestly didn't. I would justify my behavior by saying, well, it's a character I created.
Perez isn't real and that would let me sleep at night.
But I realized a year and a half ago, and even more so now that everything is connected and I can't disassociate myself from.
OK, so I was just I'm so excited about doing this with you because, you know, people have said mean things about me over the years and perhaps I probably did. Yes.
Although I love Oprah. OK, yeah. I am an atheist. I am. Thank you for saying that.
But now but this is a thing I often wonder when people say mean terrible things like biting, bitchy, hard things that are meant just literally to hurt people.
How can you not think that what you're doing is going to affect the person you're writing about in the past?
I would tell myself, well, if they don't like what I write, they shouldn't read it. That's what I used to say. And I used to also say, yeah, I know what I'm saying is bad. I'm doing it on purpose. I want to get a rise out of my readers. I want them commenting. I want to disagree with me.
And that doesn't make it right. And it wasn't right. But that's what I would tell myself to help me sleep at night.
And so that kind of bitchiness, that kind of nastiness came from where I think it came from me.
I have to take ownership of that. Yeah. My initial response was going to say, well, it came from the Internet because the Internet kind of is a space that allows that and encourages that.
But you need to take ownership of not just your thoughts, but your actions and your words and your energy, particularly your actions. Yes. Yes.
And so once you made the awakening, had the awakening or the awareness that, gee, what I'm doing is really putting negative energy out into the world, did you see how that was also reflected in negative energy in your own life?
I started gaining weight and getting fatter and fatter, and I would dye my hair all sorts of crazy colors. And I lost myself in this character that I had created.
I, I became a clown. And a lot of people don't like clowns. Yeah. And what I've been doing over the last year and a half is it was scary.
But I've been showing the world my real self and not hiding behind this character anymore.
And I think that people have responded in an embracing way and they're the skeptical people. And that's OK. I can't. Yeah, I know. When I said you were coming on, you know, lots of people said, I wonder if that's real. Rightfully so.
People should think that because for six plus years I behaved a certain way.
However, I am not going to be defined by my past. I am not my past. Very good. And I'm not going to let that prevent me from doing good in the future.
OK, the worst thing you can say about another, with all due respect, the worst thing you can say about another contains some truth about yourself because you were actually attacking yourself when you were attacking all these people and people coming to spirituality in many ways, you know, you came into it because you had an awakening where people pointed it out to you. So through suffering in a sense, and that's great. And you should forgive yourself because you were doing the best you could in that particular state of awareness.
But you moving on awareness is such a powerful word.
It's one word that I've really been thinking about a lot lately.
And also, you know, everybody has their own definition of spirituality. Right. And only within even the last three months. My awareness of what that means to me has increased.
For me, spirituality is energy, and it's being able to tap into that energy that's there and within us as well and having that connection be powerful.
And so now that you are opening yourself up to that. Tell me how your life is different. I feel like I made that shift in the fall of 2010, and since then I've really been mindful of my energy, my words, my action, and putting a much more positive energy out there. Keyword mindful. Yeah. And I and I feel like I'm getting a lot more positive energy back, which then in turns is helping me put more positive energy out there.
And I've realized only in the last three months that I have not I mean, I have accomplished a lot, but I haven't reached my full potential yet. Absolutely.
And that was a huge life changing moment, I think.
I think a key word that you just said and Deepak, I'm sure you'll agree, was awareness, because it seems to me and I, you know, have been written about lots of good things, some bad things.
It seems to me that when people sit down and do things because I like constructive criticism and I know a lot of other people do, when you sit down and you just purposely say things that are mean spirited, it seems to be an unconscious state that you're not really aware or awakened to what you're doing.
Oh, I wasn't at all. Yeah. The way either you or you just used another key word and it was mirror. So the world is a mirror. And what you say about others is a mirror of how you look at yourself. So before you say anything, ask yourself, how am I looking at myself in this moment? Yeah, you can never feel good about yourself by bringing somebody else down.
But he did at the time, he did, though, in that state and that set of conscience at the time, you were feeling good about it. When you write a really nasty thing and people would respond, would you feel good?
I honestly wasn't even feeling, to be honest, I was really conscious.
Have you apologized to the people that you hurt? Somebody was just asking that on Facebook. I have. I have.
I mean, Fergie was somebody I used to say some very nasty things about. And I have apologized. And I had a birthday a couple of weeks ago and she even sent me flowers. And that was so touching that we had that moment where she was able to forgive.
How often have you actually gone back and tried to apologize to all the celebrities that you said nasty things about?
Not all of them, because I don't have direct contact, but it is right now. Absolutely. And I want to apologize to everyone. And more than apologize, I. I view what I have now as an opportunity.
And it's an opportunity to, you know, in the past, put tons of negative energy out there. But I want to put an exponential amount more of positive energy now going forward.
You wrote that we turn our worst experiences into rules about life. Yes. How do we do that? What do you mean? We get program. We get victimized by the past. It's called the prison of karma. So karma is the conditioning of the past that rules your life. There's a saying that no debt goes unpaid, but at the same time debts can be forgiven. So if you do good deeds, if you help the poor, if you are compassionate, if you do good things, then some of that karmic debt gets paid off.
That was my interview with Deepak Chopra in Jaipur. The crew and the producers, we were all running around looking for paper because he said so many illuminating things were going to bring you that entire interview this Sunday on Super Bowl Sunday at 11:00 Eastern. The entire interview, celebrity blogger Perez Hilton is here who says he's been through a karma cleansing. Actually, I think that's interesting. Karma cleansing. You had a question. Hi. So I'm finding it hard to kind of keep a positive open mind right now as you're up here, because I feel like you wouldn't have the privilege of sitting up here had you not been such a negative, nasty person and you had so much of an effect on the lives and careers of so many people, from outing people to drawing penises on faces like I just feel I'm having a tough time.
Like it's not for me to believe your transformation, it's for you. And I understand that. But it is tough as an observer to kind of believe it. And you don't have to care if I believe it or not. Yeah. So you're having trouble. What is it? You're having trouble because what? Because I feel like it's it's almost easy for him to say this is great. Like I see the light now, but the darkness is what put you up here.
Yeah. OK, so this is the point too. Do you think you would be where you were had you not been so negative, had you not been so bitchy?
I think what helped me at the beginning was I was doing something different when I started.
There really weren't people using blogs as a way to talk about celebrities. I believe that I am different and special and worthy. And I found something that was that and success came. However, do I regret things? Absolutely. I regret a lot. I, I watch interviews with people. I don't regret anything because that led me to where I am today.
I would rather be less wise and not have hurt people. However, I can't erase the past.
I'm not trying to erase the past. I'm just trying to do better in the future from the bottom of my heart.
So the reason why you don't want to accept that is because what you want him to be punished, you want him to serve time.
I just, I guess, find it. You want him to go to the karma prison. Yes. What do you want? Why isn't his apology enough? And why isn't his willingness to move forward in life and do better enough? I think I'm just saying no.
And that's your job. I know. Like I said, I think it's great that he's working on this transformation. But as someone who, you know, had followed his career from the beginning up until now, it's just it's just tough. OK, where do you want to say thank you? I think what you've got to realize, and I said this earlier, is you have to have the insight that everybody does the best they can from this stage of spiritual development there in this state of awareness there in.
So you have to have empathy without being condescending and compassion, because in your judging him, you're also judging yourself.
Right now, I'm judging you as well. So he found an opportunity where he he saw himself and for that we should love him and have to find the truth.
Is this. Yeah, because I could be very pissed off at him really for some of the things that he has said.
But if he can't be redeemed, then neither can I. Mm hmm.
That's the real truth. And this is the big point everybody needs to get. Different people are on different evolutionary spiritual planes. Not everybody is operating at the same frequency as you. There's some very low level frequency people. That a band of vibrating at all, and if you are a high frequency person, you try to attract to yourself that which is high frequency, you all know what I'm talking about. Are you living with me? Because that's what we all are.
We're spiritual beings, having a human experience and spirit vibrates. There's a vibrational frequency to spirit. And depending upon where you are in that frequency, you behave in certain ways. So he literally reached another level of frequency, whatever it was, that shocked him into recognizing it. Am I correct? Yes. Instead of saying, look, I would say earlier.
Some is just low. I agree with you, Depok, right, so owner from Plano, Texas, on Skype has a question on. Come on, Ana. Hi there. Hi.
I totally relate to what Perez is going through, and I think it's great. And I just wonder now if he knows what his purpose is and what is he going to do with his website now that he's gone through this transformation?
OK, could this physical transformation that I've undergone has also manifested itself in a spiritual transformation?
And also I believe that the universe is speaking to us all ways.
But right now it's speaking to me very loudly. And not only am I listening and receptive, but I'm also ready for what it's telling me. And within the last three months, it's both revealed to me what one of my major gifts in life is, because I think we're all born with gifts. And it's also revealed that my purpose is and it was a life changing moment and my purpose is to help other people. My purpose is to inspire other people.
My purpose is to make other people smile and to teach other people. And also, it's fascinating because I feel like I've been having multiple orgasms and that I've been having all of these thoughts. And that's how I experienced. Well, now I think that's a new column for Ole Miss. I would love that be getting a lot of subscriptions, but I orgasm. Well, it really felt that way because it was another word for transcendence.
It was coming, so. And I think everybody let's use that one tonight, transcended the baby, just transcended, but then there were all of these aha moments were coming so quickly and I was so thankful and I realized, wow, that's my purpose.
But then a few weeks after that, all very recently, I had another aha moment and that was like, wow, my purpose is to help and inspire and teach the world a better place.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Isn't that why we're all here? Yeah, I was just going to say that, you know, I was going to say that because I was going to say, hey, you just took my purpose.
You just took my purpose. Perez But as you were saying and I thought, well, I think that's what Deepak is doing and that's what all of you and your life are doing. You're doing it with your children. You're doing it with your family members. You're doing it on your job. That's what we're all here to do. We just had an orgasm. Thank you. Is Rita from Oklahoma, was one of our students on season one of life class, and she joins us on Skype.
Hey, Rita. Hi, Oprah. How are you again? Yes, I love you.
You were a big aha orgasm for me when the first season when you were saying other people's opinions no longer, you allowed them to define what you thought of yourself as a beautiful quote.
I wrote it down somewhere. I'm messing it up right now. But do you remember what you said then?
Yeah. That it's just observations that are coming from other people. And if I attach meaning to it, it can be hurtful or it cannot be hurtful. And that is what lies within my control. But I can relate to what Greg is saying because those popping aha orgasmic moments, I remember very clearly and I also remember and I'm experiencing that with time and a little maturity, it becomes where you live all the time. You don't have to wait for the build up anymore.
It's just there. And what I think about as I hear him speak is that I keep hearing people say that I want to become spiritual. Well, you you don't become spiritual. You are. It's already there. You already are.
And when we get caught up in the time of it and the doing of it, instead of the just being of it, then things like karma and all that kick in.
And the easiest way is to just be it. Yes. Yes.
C.S. Lewis said this actually. Rainn Wilson was tweeting the other day and I was tweeting with him and he tweeted this quote from C.S. Lewis. It says, You don't have a soul.
You are a soul. You have a body. Yeah, you don't ever lose that what you can lose is the awareness of it. Yes.
And so the key and the actually simplest part of all is to go back to the awareness of it, which wipes out karma together.
Yeah, you agree, Depok? Totally. I mean, she said you are it it's your true self. If you go beyond your social mask, your so-called skin encapsulated ego, it's there always. So all you have to do is be and that's the most important thing because you're human beings. We're not human thinkings and human doings. We're human beings.
And by being you mean being the observer of whatever is. There's a great thing.
There's a great thing that is that the highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe yourself without judging yourself. And as you watch yourself, you'll be having the ability to observe your thoughts, your body, the sensations, the images, the feelings, and then they'll be insight, which is spontaneous. And with that insight, there'll be transformation in your body and your mind is a projection of your soul, but your soul is not your ego.
It's your true self, which is inseparably connected with all that is. It's not only connected, it's one. So, you know, when you expand your awareness, you're not contracted, you expanded.
And ultimately a universe you wanted to say, my question is for Mr. Deepak. The question is what a voice you have. The question is, where did that voice come from? But please go ahead with your question.
I guess is generally people can say, you know, it's easier to maintain positive thoughts and everything around you is so positive. When the sun is, you know, shining, it's easier to think positive. I guess simply the question is, how do you maintain those positive thoughts when you have deep, dark places or dark surroundings or dark situations? How do you maintain a positive light and move positively?
Oh, that's really good. And I'll let you I let you go for an answer.
OK, I have an answer to I've a friend of mine from Malawi, a young boy in Africa. He said to me, I remember the past and I learn from it. I rejoice and celebrate in the present and I reimagine the future. And that is beautiful to me because if you are victimized by your thoughts, you are victimized by your past. And there's another great Indian thing. It is I use memories, but I do not allow memories to use me.
So I remember a few things like that. And you will move from being a victim to a creator.
I use memories, but I will not allow memories to use me.
That's right. I love that one is the victim. The other is the creator. Yes.
And for me it's exactly what I said at the beginning. Last week, the press was trying to kick my butt. But, you know, everywhere I turn, there was another negative headline about what was happening and wasn't happening at Owen and what I did or didn't do or should have done.
And if you allow the external forces of everybody else's energy to enter into your own consciousness, it can really bring you down. And you know how I got through that? I just it every inward and out of breath. I was saying, and God, I move and breathe and have my being and God I meet greet, to have my being to remind myself of my spiritual self, to remind myself that what's going on out in the world is what's going on out in the world.
Those are, as Rita just said, other people's observations and opinions.
But that isn't who you are. And don't get that confused. Don't get confused with what people say you are versus what you know you are.
I went to a monastery in Thailand and became a monk for a month and used to meditate from midnight to 4:00 in the morning on a personal death, you know what? It made me realize that whatever I'm looking at is going to be gone. So when you recognize the impermanence of this particular body mindset, it immediately throws you into the present. And this is what the monk said to me on the last days, is the most important time in your life is now the most important person in your life is the one you're looking at right now.
The most important thing that you can do in your life is what you're doing now, the best way to prepare for the future is to be totally present. No, forget all your learnings. Just remember that now is the moment that never ends.
Which is a number one of the major spiritual principles is to be present now in this moment, not allowing your thoughts to live in the past and be stuck in your story from the past.
That's called presence. Yes. And presence of spirit and presence in spirit.
Well, Stephanie is a mom of three who says she's terrified of living in the present moment.
And here's why.
The whole world can change in the drop of one minute, one second, one phone call for Stephanie, that call came 12 years ago while waiting for her three teenage daughters to get home from the mall to answer the phone.
And it's a nurse from the hospital. And sure, there's been an accident.
We have Tiffany. And she has very big cuts and bruises and I don't know what happened to your other two girls.
14 year old Melissa, 15 year old Tiffany and 17 year old Valerie were riding in a friend's car when it was hit head on. Stephanie rushed to be with Tiffany while her husband Bob raced to find Valerie and Melissa. The girls had been taken to different hospitals in order to handle all the trauma.
My husband breaks down and starts to cry and he says Valerie would never walk again. And they shared a spinal cord injury at a very severe level and he wouldn't stop crying. And I just my whole world fell apart. And I said, what about Melissa? He started to cry, even though he said you would never recognize what Melissa looks like.
Melissa's injuries were severe. Her lower back was broken, her jaw shattered in two places, and her face was so badly cut from glass, you could see her cheekbones.
Melissa and Tiffany eventually recovered, but Valerie's prognosis was grim.
The odds were totally against her. We were told that she would never move anything from the neck down. After 14 months of intense physical therapy, Valerie proved her doctors wrong and took her first steps, and just last year she walked down the aisle.
In three months, Valerie will deliver another miracle. Oh, my goodness.
I should be happy about Valerie having a baby. Then there's that. Mari, maybe if I'm too happy, then something will go bad for me again and it steals the joy it takes away from it. There is still that underlying fear. Any any phone call can change your life. Haunts me till this very day, Stephanie, come on up. Coming up, chef. Say hello to Deepak Chopra. Stephanie says she lives in fear that their lives could change again in an instant and therefore is resisting always the present moment you live waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I live in constant fear. I live in the fact that the phone call that I received that night haunts me. When the girls go out, I'm always worried where they are, what they're doing. And there's so much joy going on in my house right now. Valerie's having a baby. Well, this is a doctor of physical therapy. Tiffani's without my teacher and I just the joy of girls beating up. So Valerie is is the oldest, right?
Yeah, and so how does your mom's fear, anxiety, inability to accept the present moment feel joy? I mean, she said on that tape, I thought it was very interesting. She says it just steals the joy, my joy. It steals your joy.
How how does her not being able to celebrate and be grateful that you are here alive and well, how does that affect you all?
I think her fears and worries prevent me from living in the here and now, which I think is really important for me right now to enjoy every moment, especially in my pregnancy. Yeah, I, I'm enjoying it. At the same time, I feel that I just every day you can ask my husband, I just feel like every day like what if something bad happens, you know, I think it kind of takes away the energy impacting you and you and her energy because, you know, when you go around, mom, it's going to she's going to be like the worrywart, anxiety ridden.
Oh, my God, what happens?
Yes, I think it prevents the rest of us from being able to enjoy life and be able to enjoy the things we do because her worries turn into our worries as well. And like, I'll be going out somewhere and, you know, I'll be happy. I'll be going out and then she'll be careful. So be can't be here for like 20 times to the point where you're like, oh, maybe I shouldn't go. Yeah, I understand that and tell me, how were you girls able to evolve to the place where you can accept that what happened to you did happen, but that where you are now in your life and hopefully continuing to move forward in your life with something different than what had happened?
How did that process, I think, take shape for you?
It took 12 years and still going.
I think it just, you know, just learning and also having like we're talking about spirituality, having this energy or I like to call it like this force that's almost looking over me constantly knowing, you know, bad things do happen, but things also move forward at the same time. And something is always going to watch over you. Even when there's bad. There's just going to be some just some good that you just have to believe in.
What is the primary thing you learned from that experience, that accident, not to take anything for granted?
OK, we all know that you're a different person because of what happened to you and what you had to endure. Can you say that you were a better person because of what happened to you?
You have to live every day and be happy with everything you have and appreciative.
OK, and so why haven't you been able to step into that space? I don't know.
I'm afraid that they have gotten this far. They're all beautiful. They're perfect. And then one minute it could turn around because you're still reliving the accident every day. And I'm not moving on the way. I should have story.
You're still telling yourself. Yes. The story at that phone's going to ring. That phone rang or anything can happen in one split second. Yeah. Yes, sir.
I think this could be a moment of transformation for her because you just use that expression, the story. You're living there, living a different story than you are right there trying to. Yes.
And in fact, they have found meaning and purpose as a result of this. So here are some different ways to reshape this story. First, remember that your story is creating your perception of the world. It's influencing what you expect, your expectations, your assumptions about what life is, your belief about who you are, your feelings and moods. They're all a reflection of your story. So the first thing we have to do is recognize right now that there are different stories, right?
We cannot ignore the facts. The facts are there. But there's another extraordinary fact.
She was told by doctors she would never be able to walk. She's going to have a child. This in itself is a very important insight, the spirit of the field of infinite possibilities. And therefore, even as a physician, I would tell my patients, you can believe the diagnosis would never believe the prognosis because, you know.
Yes. Never believe the prognosis, but it's up to you what to choose right now.
The fact is you have to separate the story from the facts, the facts, as you have three wonderful, healthy girls who have found meaning and purpose in their life. So you have to ask yourself, is there another story? OK, what can I create right now? And, you know, by the way, I use a prayer myself and that I use in moments of crisis. The past is gone. The future is not here. Now I am free of both.
OK, so say that to yourself. The past is gone. Past the future is not the future. Now I am free. Now I am free of whatever my choosing right now. OK, and what do you choose right now? You choose joy and that's what you choose for yourself and you choose for that.
But would you not say, you know and we're not saying you're going to be cured here in a moment.
We're just here to give everybody around the world different things and to think about and different ways of thinking about it. Why do you feel. That you are so attached to the story, what is it about the story that you don't want to move on?
I think I created a sense of guilt for myself that I didn't protect them enough, that I wasn't the mom, that maybe I should have been because I got hurt. And I, I, I took it upon myself when they was heard at such a young age. And I deprive them I deprive Valerie of a future. Right. By allowing that to happen. And now you see Valerie. I see her in the now and then with all the great prospects for a future.
And so the tape in your head, it was playing, but I made up my mind today that I'm going to move on. You know what? I'm going to do everything I can.
And what is the story you want to tell yourself that you would like us to support you in? Then I'm going to.
I have a beautiful family. I have a wonderful husband, a son in law, a future baby on the way. And I have a lot to look forward to this.
Beautiful, beautiful. Bob is Bob is Bob, Stephanie's says, Bob, stand up here for a moment. Aren't you saying to yourself, Lord, I hope this is true.
Bob Woodward, I hope this is true. I know, I can imagine, Bob, I can imagine how is this affected you, I mean, obviously, to go through this tragedy, it goes beyond that she became anxious over everything.
It's not just the girl. She's worried about losing her job, even though she's a tenured teacher.
Yes, she needs help. And so as a husband, you've tried to be supportive about it? Oh, yeah, I retired to take care of Valerie and to take her to school and then graduate school. And Stephanie continued working and I took over all the household responsibilities. Goodbye. Well, what we're hoping is that this moment will be a catalyst for you to see that you are stuck in the story and you may need some other kinds of help.
Obviously, you've had counseling. Yes, right, counsel. But maybe you need what you need is a transcendent moment where you were able to see yourself and observe from your true self what it is you're doing, you know, and be able to move forward.
I'm going to try that. The director, the producer, the choreographer and the hero of your own course.
Can you see how you are? Yes, I can. Yes. You see that I keep playing the tape. Yes. Let's play something and say thank you so much for being.
Thank you so much.
Did I hear you say that you had an orgasm? I had several of them. You know what? I'm going to rebrand that. That was Peress title for orgasms, and I think we should call them Aha oase.
I like something better you have to bring.
Oh, OK, so I had several aha moments, one was in regards to the lady that was speaking about Perez and in regard to this last story, and I told my neighbor and even Depok hit on it. Life is a journey and we are going through the journey of life. And a lot of times people think that in order to have a great life or to be great, I have to do something great. I have to be famous. I have to be rich or that to have a great life, something I did in the past blocked me from that or something that happened is not letting that happen.
But we actually are in this moment everything that we're ever going to be, everything that we can do is already within us right now. Right. And once we realized that, we realized I don't have to change, I don't have to be rich, I don't have to do anything because in my journey of life, whatever I'm supposed to do, whatever I'm supposed to accomplish is going to happen to me and me through me and connect with other people.
With your action, though, you just can't sit around and, you know, think about it. You have to do something. It is the action, but it's allowing yourself to connect with other people. You agree, Depok?
Yes, I do agree. But, you know, life also has milestones. A journey has milestones. So everybody looks after their survival, their safety. Then they want to achieve great things for themselves. They want to make money. They want to be successful. Then they find that's not enough and they want to have healthy relationships. You move from there to love and belonging, and they also want to feel good about themselves, their self-esteem, and they can not feel good about themselves unless they help other people.
So then beyond that, they want higher consciousness, insight, intuition, and finally the one God. So it's all part of the journey filled from Chicago on Skype has a comment about Stephanie's story.
Go ahead, Bill. Well, the main thing that I wanted to say through everything else is being said is that life also has a way of throwing surprises at us. And I got a surprise listening to Stephanie's story. The thing that surprised me and in this moment in listening to Stephanie's story was how many wonderful things had been given back to her in spite of all of the fears and, you know, all of the labels that in my field tossed around so much.
You know, still that fear and all of what she's going through is still tied to love. We can call it everything else, but it's still that that element, that one defining element of love, that all of what she's experiencing, all of her children are experiencing and all of what her husband is experiencing and all of what we're reacting to.
You're absolutely right, Bill. And the truth is living with an open heart through love. The key is that it's all about love.
And if you are living through love and trying to use your life to express that in the greatest way and in every encounter, then you are leading a spiritual life. And even when difficulties come into our lives, as they do for all human beings who are being, that's the nature of living on Earth.
Even when that happens to know that our great option is to choose love rather than to choose fear and to shut down.
That's what I think.
OK, the women from Rockville. Tracy, what are you what are you all thinking? I wish all prisons had sessions on Mondays for spirituality. What are you thinking about what you're hearing today? Oh, there's been some wonderful messages, one thing that I have realized in my spiritual journey is that you really have to walk the walk. You have to feed your spirit if you want it to grow and to be strong. For years, I starved my spirit.
I fed my flesh. There was a hole in my heart as big as Jesus. And until you start feeding your spirit and figuring out what's important in life, it's going to be weak and lacking. You're going to be ruled by your flesh. Thank you, Tracy.
Which leads us to the point of. Yeah, go ahead. There's a physical prison. Yes. And you can get out of the physical prison, but there's another spiritual prison and you don't know that you're in it because the bars are invisible. Right. Unless you become self aware, you can't escape it. So she could be freer inside the prison than most people are outside the prison, you know.
Victor, Victor Franco man's search for meaning. That's right. I interviewed this woman named Shaquan Duley, who was sentenced to 35 years in prison for murdering her children. And I said to her the exact same thing, you really now have a better chance of being in prison than you did outside of prison, because outside of prison you were pregnant.
One, two, three children by the time you were twenty seven years old, depressed, not working, no job, which is a recipe for disaster if there isn't some kind of awakening or enlightenment or movement to get you to move forward.
But now that you are actually have the time in a place where you can really free yourself yourself, meaningful questions and what are the meaningful questions we should be asking ourselves?
I asked them of you once. Yes. Who am I? What do I want? What's my purpose in this life? What are my unique skills and talents? What do I expect in a meaningful relationship? That's your social profile. If you ask yourself those questions, then life will move you into the answers.
And the reason it took me two days is because I knew you didn't want to hear. I am Oprah Winfrey. Yes, I have a television network. That's right. Because those are all things that you do.
So when you have to sit and think about, what is the answer to the question of who are you that doesn't involve what you do, that doesn't involve the role that you play? What is the real answer to that question when you can't say, well, I'm a mother or I'm a teacher or I run a network, what is the answer to who am I and what do I really want? When you can answer that question from the deepest part of yourself, from the real part of yourself, then you are on the path to what we call spirituality.
See what most people call their bail is their ego profile. It's not who you really are. It's you in all the things that you do and what people think you are. But it's not who you are. Your ego profile. Let's check in with our OR Chauke from Australia. What did you learn tonight?
I really the questions, I think, more importantly is about being conscious of what kind of questions we ask ourselves, because it's so easy to go off and ask a question that might lead you down that path. That's very disempowering. So I guess my question is rule of thumb, like, how do you actually distinguish and make sure that you're always asking the right questions and not the ones that are actually going to make you perpetuate in suffering? That's great.
The question you ask should have an evolutionary purpose. It should create joy. The answer should join you and everyone that's affected by that answer or by their choice. So you should always ask if I get what I want, will it make me a happier person? But will it make other people happy as well? If the answer is yes, then go for it.
Going back to the question that was asked by Miss Vancouver earlier today, the woman from Vancouver, how do you begin to lead a more spiritual life?
Well, the ultimate goal of all goals is to be happy. OK, so if you want to be happy, make somebody else happy. If you want to find the right person in your life, then become the right person. If you want to see a change in the world, then you become the change you want to see in the world. That's what my Bogarde said.
Is in your personal transformation, is the future transformation of the world in your personal transformation?
There's no social transformation in the absence of personal transformation. So in your personal transformation, is the future transformation?
What are you, Deepak Chopra, do as a spiritual practice?
I meditate every day. I ask myself those questions, but I live those questions more than us because of the firm belief that if you ask, you will receive that. If you live the questions, life will move you into the answers. And it does so to insight through intuition, through relationships, through meaningful coincidences, to synchronicities what people call good luck. But good luck is the state of grace. It's the spirit walking with you wherever you go.
What we said at the beginning of our our conversation tonight about spiritual solutions. And by the way, Deepak has a book called Exactly That. That's why I called this Deepak Spiritual Solutions. I believe that spirituality is the essence of everything, that we're not just here to go to work.
We're not just here to pay our bills or go through the motions of life. It's so much bigger than that for all of us.
And what you said, that we're spiritual beings having a human experience allow the full essence of that, the full essence of I am a spiritual being who's using this body that I often feel is my thighs are too big or my nose is too wide or am I? I'm not tall enough for what are all the criticisms we give of the body? What? We're just using it. We're just using the body for this time that we spend here on Earth.
The recognition that you are not your body and you're not even your thoughts. You're not the red triangle that you thought about, nor are you the past that you continue to replay in your head and tell yourself over and over again that I'm worthless. Nobody loves me. I don't deserve I'm not valued. You're not those thoughts either. So you can decide choose if you want to. You can step out of your history and the past and write a new story for yourself.
And tell yourself. And engage from the spiritual deepest part of yourself in such a way that you begin to draw to yourself what you are teaching yourself to believe is possible for you, because you are spirit in a body. You are a soul. You have a body, there is no life other than a spiritual life, and I hope that tonight's conversation allows you to awaken to the greater possibility that that will bring to you a special thanks to Radio City Music Hall.
We love you guys. We love the food here. Thank you for our Choper opportunity. I'm Oprah Winfrey, and you've been listening to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast you can follow Super Soul on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. If you haven't yet, go to Apple podcast and subscribe rate and review this podcast. Join me next week for another super soul conversation. Thank you for listening.