Transcribe your podcast

Now, more than ever, it's important for you and your family to enjoy the spaces you're in most often visit Ferguson Showroom's dotcom to shop online or schedule a personalized consultation to meet with their experts at your local Ferguson bath, kitchen and lighting gallery. Together, they'll help you make the most of your home and create a space you'll love to live in. Get started on your project and discover extraordinary products like the Cinema Kitchen Faucet from Môn. When was the last time you tried something new, something exciting, something fresh, something like authentic Korean dumplings from go with bold, delicious flavors rooted in 5000 years of Korean culinary tradition.


Baby Girl is an opportunity for us all to get out of our deep seated food roots and share something new together. Whether you're hosting a party of five or a party of one, there's no better way to mix up meal time than with baby go. So go mix it up and go, baby. Go. Authentic Korean dumplings now in the freezer aisle. I'm Oprah Winfrey, welcome to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast, I believe that one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself is time taking time to be more fully present.


Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us. Starts right now. Priyanka Chopra, Jonas is an international star from India's Bollywood to America's Hollywood. She has taken the world by storm.


Now she's written her first memoir, already a New York Times bestseller titled Unfinished. Priyanka takes us on her life's journey of self discovery rooted in two worlds.


As a young woman in India, Priyanka started her career winning the title of Miss World.


Miss World two thousand is Miss India. Since then, she starred in more than 60 films and television shows, she was the first Indian born actor to lead an American network series and ABC's Quantico FBI.


Don't move. Drop your weapon or I drop today on Super Bowl. Priyanka and I talk about losing her beloved father. Marrying her dreman Nick Jonas and how she learned to live a fearless life, embracing her ambition. Calabrian Chopra. Jonas. Hi, how are you? Oprah, I'm so, so well, welcome to Super. So it is great to see you virtually. Let's give a round of applause to technology because you're in love in technology.


Yes. You're in London and we're beaming you all the way across the pond to my garden here in Maui. I know it's it's late there. And so thank you for staying up late to talk with me.


No, of course. How are things going for you in quarantine? How have you fared?


Well, when the pandemic started in March and we were all told to lock down, I was in L.A. and that's where I quarantine for about six months at home. But I mean, I have to say, I kind of I feel very privileged to say that I kind of thrived through the quarantine. I moved into my new home. I had time with my husband, my dogs. I finished writing a book. I have finished two movies, I released two movies.


And I have had the ability to just do a lot more with myself, which I don't think I had when I was on a flight almost every single day. You know, I felt a sense of grounding to think about what I want to do during this quarantine. I have come out of it feeling insanely grateful for having all I have. I think that so it's been a really, I think, good time for me. Yeah, I feel exactly the same.


What was the thing that you learned that you could live without and could not live without doing the quarantine?


I definitely could not live without my family. I mean, I was so grateful to have the time with my husband, my dogs. My mom was around. How many dogs came in? I have three puppies. One is a four year old. She's not a pup, but the other two are. One is a German shepherd and the other is a rescue husky Australian shepherd. And the two of them are a year and a year and a half.


And they're just amazing, my three dogs and they give me life.


I understand I've had twenty one dogs in my lifetime, so I understand that. And dogs in the house changes the energy of the house, period completely. What did you recognize in yourself or in your life that you felt you needed to change during the pandemic? And you did. Taking time, I think, really, you know, I was always I spent a lot of time in my life rushing for the next thing you know, trying to find the next thing.


I want to enjoy dinner on the dining table with my friends. At the end of the day, you know, I want to maybe catch that movie that everyone's been talking about that I didn't do because I was I was chasing the next thing I think that's making a movie that everyone's been talking about.


One of my favorite to watch during this time was White Tiger. Wow.


Oh, goodness gracious. And I called up a Rene who is executive producer with you. And and Ava said this movie happened in part because of your involvement.


Why did you want to do this film by Tiger? I had read the book in about two thousand eight. And I just when I actually read that the movie was being adapted for Netflix on Twitter, like on one of the trade magazines, like where we get our news, everybody gets the news. And I read it that the movie was being adapted and I told my agents to call and offer my services as an executive producer because when I was seeking work in America, I remember about five or six years ago, I just thought that it was it was not really in the consciousness of of the filmmakers that a leading mainstream part can be played by a brown person.


And I didn't want the movie to be put into an independent movie or be put into a genre film box, which ends up happening when you see the leading cast is all in. And so I really wanted to be able to it and get as many eyeballs as I can to the movie because the story is universal. The narrative is about a class divide that exists everywhere in the world right now.


But I just wanted to I just in mentioning that because, of course, we're here to talk about your memoir, but I just thought you all did such a beautiful job with that story. And you're right, PCAST being existant force not only in India, but in other places of the world. Isabel Wilkerson's book cast this year was an absolute last year was one of the most exquisite things I read and I just wanted to give you. All for that, you let me so far so good, and immediately after I finish watching, I texted five other friends and told them, you've got to see this.


So that's when you know, you have a good film. Good film.


Thank you so much. That means so much so at a very young age. May I say thirty eight.


You have written your I will say your first memoir already a New York Times best seller.


Why did you feel this moment? Was it because you had all that covid time and had all the journals over the years that you thought, I will now turn that into something and release it to the world?


I have to say a little bit of it had to do with that, but I'm committed to writing the book in twenty eighteen and between all those flights and little time that I would get in all the hotel rooms that I lived, I could just never write. But I had this time because of covid, and that helped me really delve deep. And honestly, I also feel like I as a woman in a little bit more of a secure place where I felt like I could leave behind the insecurities of my 20s and like not worry about the things that used to scare me before as much.


I have a little bit more confidence in myself and what I bring to the table professionally, personally. So I think that really helped me address my life. And I always just wanted to write a book and I thought the easiest way to do it would be to write about my life. And it wasn't. It's challenging, isn't it? Yeah, I didn't think it would be as much because you're like, OK, well, it's your life. How hard can it be?


But if you want to dig deep, which I really wanted to, it can be uncomfortable and you know, it can be there were many times that I wouldn't finish writing about something because I just didn't know how I really felt about it. I had to process my emotions from a bird's eye perspective before actually writing about it. That's why it's such a cathartic process. And you begin the book with dedication to your father saying, Dear Papa, much like the title of this book, your story was unfinished.


And with that in mind, I dedicate the rest of mine to you. I miss you, Dad. And of course, we see on this beautiful cover, you know, Daddy's little girl. That's my dad's handwriting, actually.


Oh, I got him. I got this done a year before he died. And this was my first tattoo. And I lied to him about it because he never wanted me to get a tattoo. But he had to forgive me because, you know, it was his handwriting. It was his handwriting. And I know he passed away in twenty thirteen. Really such a young age, 62 after a long battle with cancer. What do you miss most about him and do you feel his presence?


I miss most about him. Just how unabashedly proud of me he would be in the littlest things. Even if I like if I'm having dinner and I my plate is clean. My dad would be excited if I wore a dress that I liked. My dad would be excited if I won an award. The littlest thing, the biggest thing, he'd be the loudest in the room. I miss the noise, the excitement he had, the joy and investment he had into my life, and just how excited he used to be about everything, about me and I.


Just the silence is what I miss. But, you know, I do feel that he's been very instrumental in me being where I am today. I think he's gone up there and has made a few things happen. And he's helped me find a sense of peace, which I never had when he was around. He always saw me as this restless trying to get to the new place thing. And he always wanted me to have a sense of peace.


And I that's when I feel him around, when I feel peaceful.


Here's another podcast you're sure to love. Built to Last is a podcast by American Express that highlights the story's history and continued legacy of black owned small businesses that shape American culture. The debut season focuses on black owned small businesses that need your support now more than ever.


In each episode, host Plainwell Roth explores the story of a black business trailblazer of the past that has inspired a modern black owned business. The podcast features small business owners like Pinki Cole of Atlanta's food truck turned restaurant, slutty vegan Anita Mulumba, a cutting edge designer and so many other amazing small business owners. Plus, there's a special check in with modern day Renaissance woman.


ICRA is built to last uncovers and celebrates past and present stories of black entrepreneurship in America. We hope to encourage all of our listeners to support these businesses and also the black owned businesses in your community. Check out the debut season of Built to Last on Spotify, Apple, YouTube or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Check out the debut season of Built to Last on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. As the host of CNN tonight, Don Lemon has inspired millions of American TV viewers now in his urgent and deeply personal book.


This is The Fire. The acclaimed news anchor brings his experience as both a reporter and a black man to today's most urgent question, how can we end racism in America in our lifetimes? A vital book raves Kirkus Reviews and Booklist calls This is the Fire, a soaring examination of the causes of racist violence and injustice past and present with his signature passion and style. Don Lemon takes readers from America's dark history of slavery to his own upbringing in the shadows of segregation and then into the heart of the 2020 protests in New York City.


Among the book's most moving pages, Don, also pens a letter directly to his young nephew. How can we fight against injustice and inequality? As Don writes, we must resist racism every single day. We must resist it with love. This is the fire. What I say to my Friends about Racism by Don Lemon is available now in hardcover, ebook and audio wherever books are sold. I know that both of your parents were, you know, military doctors and you moved around a lot and there were many times where you would feel unsettled about that.


And some advice that he gave you was so profound when he said to be like water, when you heard that for the first time. Did it resonate?


Well, I remember he said it to me when I think around 10, maybe I was studying science and we had recently in geography learned about the power that water has. If it drips on a stone, it can make a hole over time. And, you know, waterfalls crash. And we just learned that. And I think that analogy made so much sense to me and such a young age because I knew that water can be as powerful as a waterfall, you know, slit holes in boulders and rock.


But at the same time, it can be as still as a teacup or a snowflake or a teardrop. And when my dad said that, that's how he explained that he was a very visual man, super creative, and that's how he explained it to me, is like, if you're like water, you can adapt to anything, but you can still choose to be powerful or pleasant.


You know, I've spent some time in India.


I love, love, love being there.


And I've talked to many women there who told me how their families or their their particular culture valued boys over girls as a child.


And you speak of that in the book, the higher value placed on boys telling the story of the time your mother had found the baby under the car and then gave it to a couple who couldn't have children and then going and seeing other places how girls were valued and versus boys. How did how did that affect your own reality?


Again, it made me feel such a sense of privilege because I was one of the fortunate few daughters of the same country that was treated with. A sense of self, my I was given a choice in my life, I was given a choice in having my opinions, and that's what confused me so much, is that that's such a complexity to the world where there are so many women. We we have the privilege and good fortune of having parents that give us wings.


And but there are so many women around the world that don't have the ability to make a choice in their own existence. You know, it's decided when they have kids, it's decided who they marry, what jobs they do if they have jobs, where do you go to school, whether you don't? And it really shaped a really large part of me. And I think that's a big reason I took on advocacy for, like girls getting right to education or knowing their own rights, like child children's rights and their worth.


Some of them don't even know that they can go to school or they can say no to getting married as a 13 year old. So I think that it really shaped me and my mom never shied away from talking about it. In fact, she used to call it out to me all the time. And she used to remind me of the fact that this is an opportunity that I've been given and how lucky I am to have it. And that's something I never forgot.


Well, this is super social where we talk about these spiritual things. And then reading your book, it made me reflect on my own trips to India. You know, one of the things that was so powerful is, is the spiritual energy there, the sense of connectedness between people and prayer or spirit or whatever name you have for it all. It's also very present. Did you have a spiritual foundation growing up?


Yeah, I did. I think in in India, it's hard not to write like, you know, with this swirling number of religions that we have that live within the country as well, you know. And so, yeah, I grew up in a convent school, like when I went to school. So I was aware of Christianity. My dad used to sing in a mosque. I was aware of Islam. You know, I grew up in a Hindu family.


I was aware of that. So spirituality is such a large part of India that you can't ignore it. But also, my family really believed in, you know, having a higher power and having a sense of faith. But this is, again, something my dad used to tell me. He was like, basically religion is all, you know, a way to get to a supreme power. And every religion has a different face to the same direction where we're going.


Right and all that. Winning. So it's all pointing towards all old. And whatever your faces, whatever your version of that is, is just a means to an end. And so I did grow. I am Hindu and I pray I have a temple in my home. I do it as often as I can, but at the same time, to me, I'm truly more spiritual. I feel I am a believer of the fact that a higher power does exist and I like to have faith in that.


During a visit with her aunt and uncle in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Priyanka fell in love with the American high school lifestyle. At the tender age of 13, Priyanka made a gutsy decision and moved to the other side of the world to live with her relatives. In Iowa, she spent her later teen years in Queens, in Indianapolis and finally, Newton, Massachusetts. And then you moved when you were 16, you moved to Boston outside of Boston, and you were the target of such racism, such bullying, you say they actually broke your spirit?


Yeah, I think high school is hard anywhere. Right. And to be coming of age to understand your body as a woman at the same time to be devalued for something I couldn't I can't change or, you know, I wasn't even aware of the fact that this was something that I should feel embarrassed about. But I guess when I was made to feel like did my clothes smell funny when I walked by in the hallway or people smelled curry or, you know, little things like that at 16 are so detrimental to.


Sense of self-worth, your sense of self and the things that kids say so horrible, I think it's probably also it's just being mean and trying to hurt someone where you know, that they are going to hurt. And in retrospect now, I think they probably didn't even know what they were really doing. It was just trying to hurt somebody that you wanted to target. But at that time, at 16, I remember I was like, I don't want to live in this country.


I want to go back home.


I want my mommy. And I called my mom and she was on the next flight over and we went back home. But at that time, I remember feeling profoundly affected by it.


And then going back to India, you were the girl who'd been to America. And so things were things became very different. You know, I was as I was reading unfinished perfect title for someone thirty eight. Let me just say, as I was reading it, I was thinking, who what is the best revenge on earth is that you were bullying me last year and this year I've become Miss World, OK?


I couldn't have written it myself if I'm writing a story.


And when you when that happened, do you. I don't know that the nature of my personality would be to think about all the people who bully me. But when that happened, do you even have the energy or time to think about all the people who believe you and say and say to yourself, how do you like me now? How do you not at that time, but it did after I got used to the crown on my head for a second.


And then especially after I became this world, I was thrown into the deep end so badly I didn't come from a pageant family. I didn't come from desiring that. You know, I loved watching Miss India. I used to watch Miss World, but I never thought I could be part of it. So at seventeen, when you're thrown into this crazy world of pageants internationally and then movies, I was just I was just trying to keep my head above water at that point.


But a few years later, I had that can interrupt.


Can I think the funny thing is you didn't even engage yourself to become a part of the pageant.


It's because your brother said wants to get you out of his face and tells your mom, hey, send in her picture for this, send her to Mumbai and send it back.


Yeah, I think that's pretty funny. I really do give him a lot of credit because I don't think I would have had this career or this job if it wasn't for his ingenious idea. Yeah.


So if you if if your brother said at that moment, I know this, having paid attention to my life and the lives of so many other people that every single moment, every choice that is made determines the moment that allows us to sit and talk to each other. Now, in my garden.


And had your brother not done that, what course, which literally changed the trajectory of where you were headed, where do you think you would be if you hadn't been in that?


Padget Yeah, I've always had really big interest in science and technology, so I do think I would have done something in that world. But I also, as my nature is, I'm a student of life. Like I'm not someone who ever rests on my laurels or I think that I know everything. I don't I put my head down, I listen, I learn. So I think whatever I may have gone into, I would have come out OK, you know.


Yeah, because I'm willing to learn. Yeah, yeah.


I love that attitude because it means you are open to life. Yeah. I really I'm a big believer of the fact that life is really a gift, you know. I mean, what's so amazing to be able to live and meet people and have choices and the things that we do. And so I'm someone who doesn't take it for granted at all. Don't go anywhere. More to come after this short break in 20 21, it's finally OK to talk about our mental health and happiness.


Humans aren't meant to keep everything inside. It makes us sick and therapy helps. But what is therapy exactly? It's whatever you want it to be. Maybe you're not feeling motivated right now and would like some tools to help.


Or maybe you're feeling insecure in relationships or at work, not dealing well with stress. Whatever you need. It's time to stop being ashamed of normal human struggles because you deserve to be happy. And now you don't have to worry about finding an in-person therapist near you to help. Better Help is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours.


Join the millions of people who are seeing what therapy is really about. It may or may not be for you, but it's worth looking into because you are your greatest asset. This podcast is sponsored by Better Help and Oprah's Super Cell Conversations. Listeners get 10 percent off their first month at better help. Dotcom slash super soul. That's better dotcom slash super soul. More of our conversation in just a moment. Support for Oprah's super cell conversations comes from Sitka.


Salmon shares a community supported fishery delivering traceable wild caught Alaska seafood since 2011.


As a member, you'll receive a monthly share of their fishermen's harvest, Sitka Salmon shares, small boat fishermen use low impact gear that respect the limits of the ocean. Fish are meticulously handled. Artisanal legal aid and blast frozen for fresh from the ocean flavor. Meet your fishermen, browse recipes and shop wild card. Alaska seafood at Sitka. Salmon shares dotcom. Oprah. That's s i t k a salmon shares dotcom. Oprah visit today for a special twenty five dollar discount guaranteed.


This is the best seafood you've ever tasted or your money back.


You obviously are a woman raised by people who loved you, and that love allowed you the confidence to stand up for yourself when it mattered. I love the story that you write about when a director wanted you to perform a kind of sultry dance and strip down to your underwear. And you ended up the next day saying, I quit. Where did you find the strength to stand up for your self, knowing your self-worth and your value at such a young age?


I have to say that comes from my upbringing. My parents, I would say, always gave me that. My mom told me when I was nine years old, whatever you do in life, you will be financially independent. Who says that to a nine year old kid? Like, I don't even know what financially independent means at that time, but that was what my parents were. You know, I was told to have an opinion in a room that disagreed with me.


My dad said, if you don't have an opinion, what's the point of you being here?


And I was like, wow, that's right. You know, so I was always encouraged to have a voice. My regret with that incident is that I never said anything to the filmmaker. I was so scared. You know, I was new in the entertainment business. And girls are always told that, you know, you don't want to get a reputation of being hard to work with or, you know, you don't want people to say, oh, she makes a scene.


So I worked within the system. And that's my regret, is that I never stood up to him and said what you did was wrong because I was scared. But the only way I knew how to how to deal with it was to just step away from it and have grace under fire. And that's what I did. And that's what you did. Well, to be able to stand up for yourself when you're that age, that really is enough.


And now you would do something different. Perhaps you would stand up for yourself and say something to whomever is is is is being inappropriate with you in a way that could affect that person and other people. But just just to be able to stand up for yourself, that is so huge.


You know, I hear my friend Jimmy IVI was a big inspiration to your music career and you teamed up with I Am for your first single. When a video of the song debuted during an NFL game, social media erupted with just some of the worst comments ever. How did you handle that?


That was really shocking to me. I had I didn't see that coming. I was very blindsided by that because I was so excited about this first song I'm working with, which I am. And I mean, I shot the music video and I was so proud because I was stepping into American pop culture and I really wanted to be a part of mainstream American pop culture. And this was like, what, bigger than Thursday Night Football?


And then the year I actually was quiet for a couple of days because I had a sense of shock that it was so vile, so racist and so public. This was all on social media. It was out there, people discussing and people commenting, people saying, yay, great people saying, oh, it was it threw me for a spin a little bit. But it also once I found my feet and the fact that the NFL gave me a second season and they stood by me and it gave me fed me actually to normalize, you know, people that looked like me in mainstream entertainment, that why was this such a big deal?


It shouldn't have been. I'm just a girl singing a song. Yeah, I know. And people saying horrible things like go back to India, go back to your country. Why are you singing our song when it's why are you singing that it's American? I yeah. You know what, it's interesting. You just saying that makes me realize affirms even more what you've written through unfinished that whenever you're faced with a challenge, the bullying. Look at how the bullying leaving America a year later.


Now you and Miss World, you take what the bullying, the vitriol from your your singing with which I am and say, you know what, I'm going to normalize people seeing more people like me. Next thing you do, you're making more movies were brown skinned people are being seen. So you take what is adversity and turn it into something that is meaningful and powerful for yourself.


Well, thank you. And that my husband usually says that to me. He was like, I don't know. You have he calls it my superpower. He says whenever, like, the roof is falling and the ceiling is caving, I'm solution oriented. And I'll be like, all right, how do we what is the next thing? How can we get out of this and thrive?


Speaking of your husband, you brought him up. I read where you say.


Your mom, you think dreamed him up or had some spiritual force in bringing him into your life because you'd been in bad relationships and your mother said, I hope that one day you just meet somebody who sweeps you off your feet and then along comes Nick Jonas and you are swept off your feet.


I was really swept it. And it is absolutely the right objective because I. I didn't I may have judged the book by the cover. I didn't honestly take it very seriously when Nick was texting me, you know, I was thirty five. I was like, I want to get married, I want to have kids. He's, you know, in his twenties. I don't know if that's something he'd want to do. Like I did that to myself for a while till I actually went out with him and nothing surprised me more than, you know, him.


He's such a self-assured man, so sensible, so excited about my achievements, my dreams, you know, such a true partnership that he offers me in in everything that we do together, that I truly believe that my mom manifested him because that was her marriage. She had a marriage of partnership. They worked together. They lived together. They built a home together. They built a life together in equal partnership. And I saw that growing up. And I'm just amazed that I found exactly what I kind of grew up with, with Nick.


And I just kind of swept and let it happen. That is a true spiritual partnership. Gary Zuckoff, who's been on Super Cell many times, says that a spiritual partnership is a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth, meaning one wants the other to rise as much as they want themselves to rise.


And I loved where you shared that. He made a list of five things that he loves about you. Will you share those? Well, I made the list of five things that, first of all, I wanted. And then this was before I met Nick and I remember writing and down one New Year's Eve or something and putting it in my wallet, you know, as if it was going to happen. And that was Nick. Like that happened six months later.


He comes into my life and he was exactly all of those things, which was, you know, I wanted somebody who was honest and comes from an honest place all the time. I didn't want the drama, someone who knew family, who loved family, because I come from a large family. I want a house full of friends and family, you know, someone who loved his job.


And because I love mine and I find purpose in my work and I wanted someone who was creative enough to find purpose in there were the other one, I think was that he should he should understand business and finance because I had a silly one like that.


But really, Nick, is all of those things. You know, another one was confident in himself. I cannot stand insecure men. It is such a pet peeve of mine when. It's not a good look on anyone, but specifically not in a relationship when your guy and I and Nick was just all of that. I read that one of the things he loved most about you or want or admired most in you was your ambition. Oh, that was one of the first things he said to me, actually, yeah, he was just so excited about everything that I did every time I would come up at home and have, you know, say something that I'm excited about, like he's watched the White Tiger six times, you know, talks about it all.


His friends, he he's read the book like seven times. You know, he's just a champion. He reminds me so much of how my dad used to be. And my dad is is such a was such a big cheerleader of mine. And now I feel like I'm married to, you know, my cheerleader.


To more of this episode after a short break. Anyone's life felt extra crazy lately. OK, maybe everyone's life has. Well, here's a delicious, crunchy way to help ungrazed your life. Almonds, a snack to help fuel your best. You mind, body and soul. Almonds are natural energy packed. Stay on task. Feel good fuel to power you through a handful of almonds, has six grams of plant based protein and is an excellent source of vitamin E and magnesium.


It doesn't get any easier to feel good so you can feel good. They also taste great anyway. Any time hool as a snack, almond milk in your smoothies or almond butter spread on just about anything. It's just really that good. That reminds me, do we have any almond butter here anyway? You eat almonds are natural fuel for the best. You California almonds on your every day. Every day. More of this conversation in just a moment.


Spotify and higher ground launch a new podcast, Renegades Born in the USA. President Barack Obama and Bruce Springsteen sit down to discuss the country that's given them both so much, chronicled the stories of its people and connect their own search for meaning, truth and community. With the larger story of America, they may seem like unlikely friends to men with very different backgrounds and career paths. Yet they built a friendship on their shared sensibilities and a belief in the American ideal.


In renegades born in the USA, we get to eavesdrop as they reminisce about their hometowns and role models, explore manhood, fatherhood and grown up in America, and examine the sometimes painful distance between the American dream and the American reality. And they get into some trouble with a joyride in Springsteen's vintage Corvette. Don't miss renegades born in the USA. Listen free only on Spotify. Well, you are married in a three day global extra, I mean, was that an extravaganza?


Well, what was so much was happening, could you remain present in all of it? Actually, I was only an only present because, first of all, we were only one hundred and ten people and a three day wedding is very normal in Indian family, actually, because we have a lot of rituals. The idea of Indian weddings usually is it's not just about the bride and groom, it's the families that also married. So it's really important for extended families to get to know each other.


Hence it's usually two or three days. But here we threw in a Western wedding into the mix as well. So hence and became, you know, three or four days. But it was just one hundred and ten people, the most important people in both our lives. And we really created a very immersive experience for both sides of our cultures. I remember we made like little books during the wedding which said Indian Weddings for Dummies and Western Weddings for Dummies, because a lot of my family had never been to a Western wedding and a lot of Nick's family had never been to an Indian wedding.


So it was really funny to actually watch these two completely different cultures embrace each other and kind of mingle and mix and become one, that it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life with so many things going on.


What was the most meaningful moment for you from those three days or a series of moments?


I think my mom walking down the aisle was a really, really big moment. When I asked her if she would, she was a little hesitant because she was like, that's something your dad would have done and I can't step into his shoes.


Did you feel your dad's presence on that day? Oh, my gosh, I, I, I extended my hand. I remember I was walking down the aisle. I extended my hand from my mom to come and I felt my dad's presence and such a big way. In that moment, my mom and I clutched on to each other when we were walking down the aisle for dear life.


And I know silently that's what we were feeling and so beautiful, so beautiful as it was.


Yeah. And neither of you spoke about that. But both of you felt the same thing in our silences. Yes. In your silences. Do you and Nick hope to have a family one day? You were saying earlier how important family is to you. Hopefully. I mean, it's like I said, do you want to make God laugh? Tell her your plans. So I'm not one who makes those plans. But yes, absolutely. Whenever you know it's the right time, it's something that we would definitely want.


You know, one of the beautiful things that you wrote, you said, as a child, I viewed my parents relationship as fairy tale perfect. They had their problems, of course, like every couple does. But they had one rule and that was that they never fought in front of the kids. And I learned over the years of interviewing so many different therapists on the Oprah show that when you fight in front of your kids, it changes them.


It just literally changes who they are because they think it's somehow energetically about them and they think it feels like they're losing their safety and protection. So has that been a hard act to follow or has it been something that you brought into your own marriage of not arguing?


We argue of course we argue like everyone. We don't argue in front of our dogs for sure.


But that's something I hope to take forward in my life for sure, because I know how it benefited me and my brother. We never felt like we were the reason for any sort of discomfort between them. I've never actually I've seen it twice, maybe where I felt that my parents were having a situation, but it would always be behind closed doors in their bedrooms, like when there was silence. Then I would probably know something's up. But I never saw them yelling at each other, screaming at each other, never.


And it gave me such a sense of balance, as you already have here, given credit to your parents and to honor what they gave to you, because only when you were so fully loved can you attract other people who are whole and loved. You know that that's how it happens.


That's what we now truly I think just when you feel cherished as a child, when you feel encouraged as a child, you grow up into an adult which has who has a sense of confidence. When you step into a room, you feel like, all right, I have family, I have something to fall back on. I have someone who loves me, who cares about me, that I can walk into any room and hold my own. It really gave me that sense.


And I love I really appreciate your choice of words when you feel cherished. Do you realize I realize that you just saying that word that there are not many people in the.


World, who can say, I grew up and I always felt cherished. That's true, unfortunately, it's the truth of the world, and I would implore actually parents to, you know, just give their children, especially when they're young, just cherish them, tell them how important their views are, how important their individuality is, you know, not to burden them with their dreams, but to let your children have your own dreams. You know, I really benefit.


That's the greatest gift my parents gave me was a sense of individuality. OK, I want to go solo solo with you for a moment since this is super. So what is the song or book or movie that. Would be your life's theme or your anthem. That's a hard question. Pageant girl, I need to be able to answer this really quickly. I think my theme would just be if I could choose a song, it would be any percussive movement because I walk to the beat of my own drum.


And I think that I'm someone who's always taken steps in whatever direction I want. So a Congo, the tabla, the drums, like something just going at it would be my theme because I wake up with a spring in my step. I want to embrace life. I am hungry for it. So I think drums will be appropriate for me. That's a fantastic answer. Nobody's ever said that.


What was your greatest fear that you were able to overcome?


One of the big ones was feeling like I belonged in a room because I was always thrown into like that from a very young age, I was thrown into different atmospheres, like moving schools and going to a different country at 12 years old, being thrown into pageants, being thrown into movies. I in the beginning, I used to have to remind myself of why I'm in the room, why am I meeting, you know, heads of states and why am I meeting these really important people?


And to be able to sit across someone who has a long list of achievements and still feel like I belong.


All right. When was your faith most tested? I think around the death of my dad, I was very angry. My relationship with God changed a little bit. But then at the same time, you know, I feel like God helped me find salvation and come out of it, too. But at that time, it was tested. Oh, man. I went to every temple that was to go to I did every prayer there was to do.


I met every God, man or woman that I needed to meet, every doctor that I needed to go to. I flew my dad to Singapore, to New York, to Europe, India, everywhere, just to do whatever I could to prolong his life. It's such a helpless feeling.


What is the best, most rewarding aspect of being unfinished, just that you're not pursuing perfection and we don't have to all be finished and tied up in a neat little bow and have every button buttoned.


You know, life is messy. It's it's not simple and complete and perfect. And I think the best thing about being unfinished is that you're not striving for perfection because it's just futile. We're never going to get it. We're always going to change. And it's OK to leave things unfinished.


All your friends and families around the world in India can watch this episode. So what do you want to say to everyone in India watching us right now?


I just miss India. I haven't been back since Holi last year. And, you know, India is my home and I just want to come back and visit and smell it and live it and meet my friends. And I also want to do a movie. I haven't done that for a while, so I just miss home a lot. I just want to be able to get on a flight and land in Mumbai.


Thank you for joining us today. Thank you. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me. It's been a delight.


Unfinished is available now wherever books are sold.


I'm Oprah Winfrey and you've been listening to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast. You can follow Super Soul on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. If you haven't yet, go to Apple podcast and subscribe rate and review this podcast. Join me next week for another super soul conversation. Thank you for listening.