Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. The reviews are in for McDonald's hotter juicier burgers. Let's hear what Hamburglar has to say. What our old friend Hamburglar said is the patties are juicier. The bun is a thing of beauty. The cheese perfectly melted. Bravo. My burger dreams have come true.

You heard him, folks.

These are McDonald's best burgers ever.

Available at most restaurants in this area. Comparison of McDonald's classic burgers to prior burgers on today's part. In my take, we've got a twofer for the people. We got our good friend Boog, Booger McFarland talking about what it's like playing in a Super bowl, talking about the playoffs, little draft talk. Great catching up with him. And then we have our good friend Stavros Halkias on which I'm going to say right now is must listen because Stav, diehard Ravens fan, has basically been in a hole since Sunday, has not done any media, has not talked to anyone. So we got basically his instant reactions after. Also, just so you know, he yelled very loud a couple times. So he was yelling so loud that his own AirPods couldn't handle it. It was great, though.

It was.

He got like pure uncut stove. His genuine reaction and just. It's a lot of rage. It's a lot of coping, but it's pleasant to listen to real life.

It's exactly what if the Awls, when they love, when one of our teams loses and you get to drink our tears, that's exactly what you get to do with Stav, especially if you're a Chiefs fan. You're going to really love this one. We're going to talk about some new coaches. We have the 2023 bonk list and then we're going to finish with Fire fest. So we got a great show for everyone. It's brought to you by our friends at Farmers Dog this new year. The easiest healthy habit to start is one for your dog. The farmer's dog makes feeding real healthy dog food easy and convenient. And your dog will absolutely love it. Stella and Blake are farmers dogs. They love farmers dogs. They eat it up so fast. I was getting Stella farmers dog before farmer's dog came on as an advertiser. So you know that I stand behind this product. It's smart, healthy pet food. You can feel good about feeding your pup. That's why it's time to quit the kibble kick, the cans and start fresh. The farmer's dog makes and delivers fresh, healthy dog food right to your door. It's developed by vets, nutritionally balanced and made from real meat and veggies to the safety standards of human food.

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All on the sun oh no we.

Gonna rock down to electric I Renu and then we'll take it higher oh we gonna rock down to electric it's.

Part of my take vision about Marshall sports.

Welcome to pardon my take. Today is Friday, February 2, and PFT has a new coach. All right, Dan Quinn, baby.

He was number one on my big board. And, ladies and gentlemen, we got him.

Yeah. So you'll get the actual instant reaction because the news broke while we were interviewing booger McFarlane. But pft, you've now had a couple hours to process. A couple people in this room have been very mean to you.

Yes, there's only two other people in this very mean.

Well, no counting the booth as well.

Hank's been very mean to me. Max has been very mean to me. Memes is just always mean to me. So I don't think that has anything to do with the coach. Jake, of course, has been polite. But yeah, Max and Hank are a bunch of haters. And Max, out of all the people in this room, Max should be ecstatic about Dan Quinn because at the very least, the Cowboys defense is going to get worse, right?

Yep.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

And so if we get better and the Cowboys defense gets worse, I think that's a win win for both me and you. It's a Quinn. Quinn.

Quinn. Quinn all around.

Sure. That's good for me.

Suck my dick, Max.

I did see there was a statement released after. Yep, put it on the bunk list. Coming up in a second. I saw a statement that was released after the hiring. It reads, ha. Can I guess who that's from? Yes.

Well, it's definitely not anyone who's in the crowd for Hank's standup act last.

Oh, got him.

I think it's Hank. I think that was actually.

That was Hank. That was Henry Lockwood. He did a lot of Haas. Maybe too many.

Not enough.

I think. I was trying to tweet what I was feeling.

Why are you so fired up about this?

Because I listened here and said to you, go, Ben Johnson. Ben Johnson. Ben Johnson. Ben Johnson. Ben Johnson. Ben Johnson. I need Ben Johnson. You tweeted at him every day. Everything the Lions did. You're like, ooh, Ben Johnson.

I never tweeted at Ben Johnson.

I'm all in on Ben Johnson.

It's called x.

Then you didn't get Ben Johnson. He literally turned you down. Would have got more money to be a head coach and said, I don't want to be coached for your shitty franchise. I want to win a Super bowl, insinuating that there's zero chance that would ever even possibly happen in Washington. Meanwhile, he works for the biggest loser franchise in NFL history, and he still doesn't want to work for Washington.

NFC championship game participant. And as we discussed, Dan Campbell got in his ear, then his heart.

You were like, oh, well, I'm all in on Belichick. I want Belichick just to rub it in your face. You didn't have to do that. You didn't have to go out of your way to say, I want get. Just to rub it in your face. You brought me into a situation that I had no involvement in.

Why are you looking at big cat? Look at me.

And you didn't get him either. You got a coach who has been to a Super bowl. So that's good.

Okay, so I have a coach.

What happened in here? That's a good coach.

Let me step in here for another Super bowl.

This is my hire, where they. I would like to address it.

Nine years ago today, 2014, Seahawks.

Okay, so let's talk about Dan Quinn for a second. Because he's an elite defensive coordinator. We know that.

That was a good laugh.

He should be a three time Super bowl champion. He won one Super bowl. He lost to Hanks Patriots, not because of his defense, but because of not handing the ball to Marshawn lynch on the two yard line. And then, obviously, again against Hanks patriots. He didn't lose that Super Bowl. Kyle Shanahan lost that Super Bowl. Super bowl. Well, they were up 28 to three.

And he was the head coach.

He was the head coach, so he should be a three time Super bowl champion. Just let me cope, okay? Can I cope? I just need, like, a day to cope. Hank.

Wait. Just looking back real quick, because the Marshawn lynch thing, his defense did give up 14 points in the fourth quarter in the Super bowl.

Yeah, that's true. That might be accurate. I'll have to go back and look at the box score.

But you were at that game, Hank.

Yeah, I was.

Was it his call to hand the ball off?

I don't know. You probably could have said over the headset, don't do that.

Printed out onto the field. Russell, you piece of shit, hand the ball off.

Please don't do that.

People are calling him a retread. Retreads run the world, okay?

Retreads.

You say that in 2024.

Sorry. Our treads run the world, okay.

Mentally retreads.

Yes. And here's the thing about retreads in the NFL. Gary Kubiak, John Gruden, Bill Parcels, Tony Dungey, Tom Coughlin, Pete Carroll, Andy Reid, Mike Shanahan, Don Chula. Bill Belichick was a retread when he was hired by the New England Patriots. Dan Quinn.

Years old.

Second stop. Second stop. He's going to figure it out.

How old is he?

He's physical. He's a physical man. I think he's 53.

Did you put Gary Cubiak in the.

Same 53 he got to a Super bowl?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, he got to Super bowl with the Broncos.

Should have just gone, Pete Carroll. Belichick.

I could narrow that down. John Groot actually, let me narrow that down.

That, like, was going against what you were saying.

Everybody that I just mentioned on that list, except for Gary Kubiak and now Dan Quinn. Godfather two was better than the first one.

That's a fact. Wayne's world two was worse. Sorry.

Iraq War.

Help you there?

Iraq War two.

Yeah. World War II kicked ass. It did. Yeah.

It was really great. We were the winners.

We fucking beat the fuck out of the nazis.

We did.

Yeah.

If it wasn't for us, the Germans be speaking Russian right now.

Think about that, Hank. You think about. I listen. PFD. I'm supporting you. Dan Quinn rocks backwards. Hat rocks. Yep. Plays good defense. Football guy through and through. Leader of men.

He is. And all his players love him.

NFC champion. NFC champion. Champion.

All his players love him. Michael Parsons said, like, if he goes, maybe I'll go with him. Oh, so maybe we'll get Michael Parsons.

I have a question.

Yeah.

Going into this search, what tier would you have put Dan Quinn at on your wish list?

I don't think he would have mentioned his name.

Tier one.

I think he actually said the other day, please don't have it be Dan Quinn.

I don't recall saying there were so.

Many names that were thrown out here on this show for the commanders next.

Head coach, and I don't think one.

Okay, well, here's another thing. We have a rookie GM, right? He helped to assemble the San Francisco 49 ers entire roster. Now he's our general manager, rookie GM. I think you'd probably want an experienced head coach, not a rookie head coach that doesn't know how this whole thing's a good thing.

There weren't any other experienced head coaches on the market.

Well, there weren't any that have been.

Head coaches more recently.

There weren't any.

And better at it.

All the ones that were on the market wanted control, wanted roster control.

Do you know fact.

Rable.

Rable is a control guy.

Yeah.

You confirmed that?

No, he's a control guy.

I think he's a go with the flow guy.

He's a players coach.

Yeah.

Well, the reason why he butted heads in Tennessee was because they tried to take control away. Pete Carroll got rid of all his good players.

Pete Carroll wanted control.

I don't know. I didn't talk to Pete Carroll personally.

Nick Saban wanted control.

Nick Saban did want control.

Yes. Okay. Okay.

I talked to Nick.

Okay, well, pft, you're defending Dan Quinn right now. We actually have a clip from the interview with Pete Prisco where maybe you.

Weren'T such a. Oh, no.

You got to probably play that.

Yeah, I actually have it loaded.

Oh, wow. Someone actually, they did the work here.

And Quinn go back to Seattle, I think probably. But you have to, at least if you're the Seahawks, you have to have a little bit of concern after that playoff game. I know it's one game, and you can't really judge that based on the body of evidence that he's done in Dallas. But it would make me think, like, yeah, maybe we should interview a couple other guys.

I stand by that.

It was a bad playoff game.

Okay. But I think he. That wasn't a damning clip.

He got a little bit of the Cowboys in him in that playoff. And, you know, you can look at what he's done in the last two seasons. Dallas. He's awesome. Dan Quinn's awesome hat backwards.

Is there a part of you, Hank, that is lashing out like this because you just lost your defensive coordinator? Good question. Yeah.

I don't know what the Cowboys are doing.

Oh, I know what they're doing. They're actually going to interview Ron Rivera.

If I'm Jerry Jones, I'm finding a way to get Belichick, Vrabel, and Pete Carroll on the same trying.

You're Saban.

You're assembling the movie old dogs.

Yeah. Adam Sandler should be on it as well. I don't know if he was in that movie, but it sounds like he could be.

He probably liked it.

Yeah. He probably was like, damn, I should have thought of this. Yeah.

But, yeah. Keeping Mike McCarthy is insane with all these other coaches just not coaching next year.

Okay, so can I be honest?

You won't be the coach by, like, October.

Permission to be honest?

Yes.

Danquin was not in my first tier of desired coaches. There were some other names that have been thrown out there.

What about tier two?

Looking forward to. I didn't do a tier two. I just had a tier one.

But if you were to retroactively.

He was tier one of tier two.

I think there was tier two.

I think there might.

It was Ben Johnson.

Tier one and then Belichick.

No, I think tier two. It was Ben Johnson and slow Rick were tier one. I remember you saying Johnson or slow.

Okay, well, no more. Tier two is Belichick, Vrabel, Belichick. Three was. We'll give you Dan.

Yeah, we'll give you tier three.

All right.

Tier four was Dan.

He was tier one of tier two. That's where he was on my list. Not a very exciting hire, I'll say that. Now, I did assemble a tier one, but you have to take into account the fact that I am very dumb and I have some extremely bad football takes. So if you were me and you were running an NFL franchise, there's no confidence. Like, I would be very bad at running.

Don't sell yourself short.

Wait, so you might have been the reason why they hired Dan Quinn?

I think you'd be great.

No, I think they were. And they're like, pft wants Ben Johnson and Bobby Sloick. Bill Belichick. We can't do that.

If it were up to me, every single play would be, like, three downfield laterals followed by a 65 yard field goal.

Right.

So you should not.

Ben Johnson probably could draw that up.

You should not listen to my opinions when it comes to football. And I had the opinion that I wanted Ben Johnson. My opinion is probably incorrect.

Got it.

I did not want Dan Quinn in my first tier. So therefore, it's like George Costanza when the reverse of everything he wants to do is right. I think he's a good football coach. I think he's a leader in men. I think he's a great defensive coordinator, and I think he's going into a stable addition of the Washington franchise, which we haven't seen in a very long time. And I have no choice but to just let's get a fucking Quinn's direction going on DC.

Okay, let's do it. So he's going to coach up Drake May or Jayden Daniels.

We're going to get a good coordinator for that.

Yeah.

And we do have some good coordinator options. I heard a Kubiak's name being thrown around and we know the history with the.

They were on that list.

They were fantastic. Great.

Johnson.

Well, Ben Johnson could do get it. We discussed this with Booger when it happens, but in a way, now the graphic. I might have defeated the graphic where now it's Atlanta Falcons former coaches on that one coaching staff, and you've got Dan Quinn, who's now a head coach, plus all those other guys that were in Washington that were also on Kyle's staff. So now it's like that Falcons team. Can you believe that team never won a Super bowl?

Yeah, that was crazy.

That was crazy. I can't believe that.

That was nuts.

Mike McDonald was also above Dan Quinn.

On these dream because you do take credit when your dreams come true. So you got to also take the opposite when they don't.

It was an incorrect dream. Hand up. But that's not me. That's my dream.

But when you dream is right, get credit for it.

I think my dreams are three and one.

Now, I was with you when you found out that Mike McDonald was going to the Seahawks. I don't think you were too happy about.

Whatever. Whatever.

Stay tuned.

If you're watching the YouTube to see his face when he sees drop news, it's great.

I thought about that after the fact, and I'm pretty sure I heard the news. And then I looked down, I took, like, a deep breath, and I was like, okay.

He was like Jerry Maguire when they show him getting married and he has that face, he's like, I don't know if I want to do this or.

Like an actor getting into character. Yeah, but guess what? That's my just, I changed myself. I'm a Dan Quinn guy. I do think that he's a solid hire.

We've had him on the show, right?

No, we've talked to him.

Oh, that's right. We got to get him on the show now. Yeah, maybe we'll get him on show in the combine program.

Soupy. Yeah, we'll talk to him at the Super bowl next year when he's in it.

You think it's soupy?

It's too early to say soupy. I don't want to put that pressure on Dan.

Let's not put that pressure on Dan.

Let's wait till they go. Was it like three and one?

Yeah. And soupy?

Yeah, I think it was two. And if we'd gone through bears, then it would be soupy. Yeah. Listen, was that the perm bet I am a fan.

No, it was a tattoo. Bet he's got it right there.

I'm a fan of some bad teams, so just let me process this and figure out ways where I can convince myself that the future is going to be better.

Just don't let Hank. But don't let Hank do this to you. Don't let Max do this to you. Nick Sirianni sucks.

He does suck.

Gerard Mayo was like, they just hired the guy who just happened to be there and had Belichick's playbook.

You wish you had a leader of men.

Yeah. Me and PFT, we got great defensive coordinators as our head coach.

You know what?

We have a great defensive player as our head coach.

Old school football works.

Yeah, stop the run.

Run the football.

Yeah. We have guys that are better suited for a different job as our head coaches.

Yeah, we have great defensive coordinators, rookie quarterbacks coming in.

I actually think that if the Bears and the commanders were in the playoffs this year, we could have done some damage.

Damage.

We're built for January damage.

By the way, I saw Vic Fangio, there was a headline that Vic Fangio. It was like, miami players got caught in the Miami scene and weren't focused on football. And I read it so quickly, I thought it was Vic Fangio got caught in the Miami scene, and it ruled for, like, those 10 seconds that my brain couldn't catch up. I was like, imagine Vic Fangio. Yeah. The hardcore out on South beach being like, that's why their defense fell apart.

Maybe he got caught up in like, the hardcore shuffleboard scene. They're like bingo halls.

All right, listen, we're all in the up and up. Yeah.

I basically got a three time Super bowl champion as my head coach, so I'm happy with that.

Yeah. The reviews are in for McDonald's hotter, juicier burgers. Let's hear what Hamburglar has to say. Bravo, rubble. What our old friend Hamburglar said is the patties are juicier, the bun is a thing of beauty. The cheese perfectly melted.

Bravo.

My burger dreams have come true. You heard him, folks. These are McDonald's best burgers ever, available at most restaurants in this area. Comparison of McDonald's classic burgers to prior burgers. All right, what else? Before we do the bonk list, I did see. I'm going to change a take. I liked the NBA. Doing the MVP rules for you have to play 65 games. We're now finding out there might be some unintended consequences.

There are some really good players out there that are, I guess they're injured or scared to play some games, and then they're not going to be eligible for the MVP at the end of the year.

Correct. So, well, Joe MB did get. He was out on Saturday, he was out on Monday, and then he tried to play on Wednesday and got re injured.

This is your guy's fault.

And this is your guy's fault. People are saying he was trying to play because he wants to reach the amount of games to get the MVP. There might be some unintended consequences, but.

MVP is pretty important, right? Like, when you win the MVP, you usually win the NBA Finals.

You guys aren't allowed to do this. I'm stopping this right now. You're not allowed to do this.

Who's showing?

Because the whole time against Jokic, you said he ducked because he wasn't hurt and he just didn't want to play Jokic, and now you're saying, oh, he should have never played.

All right, so it's got to be.

One or the other. It's got to be one or the other.

He might be right. You see, Max did a Villanova podcast.

Did he really squash the beef with me and Alan Ray? Nova legend, shout out. Rain and threes. They're going to be real.

Was Alan Ray the guy who got his eye popped out? Yeah, that's an all time.

He called me a clown for saying that I wanted Kyle Neptune fired, and then there was a beef, and then he asked me to come on a show.

Love that.

I like that he understands how the podcast ecosystem just. You're like. You call someone a clown, and then you bring them on your show to refute the clown allegations.

Yeah, now we're friends.

So you're no longer a clown.

No longer a clown. Yeah, no. Now we're friends.

Now, did you go on the show and tuck your tail between your legs.

And be like, hey, Alan Ray, I just like to be friends with you because you're a legend?

Or were you like, why did you call me a clown? Did you hash that out?

I mean, you san.

Ten toes down, we hashed it out. But I still said that I think Kyle fired. No, I definitely didn't do.

All right, so then I know you weren't as heated as.

No, I wasn't on business.

No, I was a professional. I was just talking Nova hoops.

Max, I did watch a clip. And, Max, for anyone who ever accuses Max of doing a shtick, he told a very funny story that the day that Jay Wright retired, Max was going on his third date with his current girlfriend, and he met her at a restaurant, was like, listen, I just want to let you know I've had the worst day of my life, and the vibes might be off for this date. So that is who he is through and through. Yeah.

And then I was talking to my girlfriend about it later that night ended. It was a Sixers playoff game. And then we went to a sports bar, and Joel Embiid hit like a. It was the first round, so we hit like a shot to put it into overtime. And I was just at another table because there were Sixers fans, so I was just watching the game.

That's how good relationships start. You set the precedent. It's like, if you love to golf and you get a girlfriend, make sure you golf a lot so she knows what to expect.

I was also wearing a Sixers windbreaker to the date.

Oh, nice. Classy.

It was a Sixers playoff game, but, yeah, she was like, oh, yeah, I remember that.

Well, you were a lunatic.

Well, you can wear a Sixers windbreaker to a quiz nose. That's no problem.

It was some nice korean barbecue place.

Okay, Max, doing podcasts means doing stand up pug. Sitting courtside or going Hollywood.

All the boys are going Hollywood. Pug was courtside of the Seton Hall DePaul game, which I think they paid him to sit that close.

It was a good look, though. They were right behind the camera making some funny faces.

That's just pug.

Yeah, good, clean pug.

Love pug.

Pug life.

All right, anything else in the sports where we're obviously gearing up for the Super bowl, by the way, Monday, we have a very big guest, so get excited. Get very excited. We got some great Super bowl content coming. Anything else? Before we do bonk list, there was a Hamilton. Oh, yeah. Lewis Hamilton. Ferrari's back.

Ferrari, Dan's back, live in PGA merged.

And then there's some other stuff going on, too.

With them.

I can't.

I mean, it's not a done deal.

There's regulations. There was an unfortunate picture of Patrick Mahomes that came out.

Yeah, he was upset.

He said they did him dirty. He was rocking the dad bod.

He had a little bit of a pouch.

I think it's good if your quarterback's a little bit chunky, a little bit fat. It's natural padding. It absorbs some of the hits. Peyton Manning, Tom Brady. These guys weren't in the best shape.

It's all about pliability.

Pliability, exactly. Lamar. Lamar Jackson should get fat.

Did you see that clip, by the way, of talking about pliability? Someone did a clip of Mahomes, like, offseason workouts, and he was doing the exact same knee bends that he did in that sack where it looked like he was going to tear both his legs and he got out of it. You got to practice it.

It's all pliability, baby.

Yeah. Pliability. Yeah. No, that was a fucked up picture, but, yeah. Lewis Hamilton. The Ferrari is going to be huge.

Yeah.

I really wish I hadn't gotten into f one, because someone tweeted me. They're like, Ferrari likes to bring on former champions so it can remind them that they once were champions. And that hurt my feelings, even though. Why am I a Ferrari fan? I can't remember.

I think red car.

The red car.

And it was cool to just wear the Ferrari.

Yeah, the red car.

People think that you own a Ferrari.

No, it's the guy in drives to survive when he's like, when you ask a little kid to draw a car, what color is it? Red. I was like, yeah, it makes sense. That's fucking. That rocks.

I'm in.

I'm a Ferrari guy. Lewis Hamilton, sir. Lewis Hamilton.

There's no sport that I like to pretend to be interested in for, like, I don't know, maybe a second every week when it's in season. There's no sport more important in that category to me than f one.

Yeah. I don't even think I'm at a second anymore. I'm like, negative seconds.

Negative seconds.

Yeah. That's how fast I am off the start. Yeah, it's crazy.

P one.

Yeah. Caitlin Clark was playing in Evanston last night. We didn't go, whoops.

Tickets are very expensive.

How expensive?

Very expensive.

Let me know when Sabrina Yoneski is coming to.

Who?

Sabrina Yonescu, by the way.

That's the other thing. Once football ends, we're going to be getting into basketball. We have an NBA preview. We're taping with Ryan Rosilla during Super bowl week, so that'll be great. I watch college basketball every night. Chris Collins'ejection ruled. I don't know if you guys saw it, but he got ejected and he did the meme like. I want to shake your hand, sir. Stopped and went and shook Purdue's coach set. Why is his. Matt Painter. He's a loser. Shook his hand. And Zach Edie and Zach Eedy.

And then he pumped up the crowd. Yeah, I did a breakdown on my.

Purdue is, by the way, so prime for classic Purdue.

It's going to happen again.

I know that I shouldn't be saying this because the Badgers, I think, play them for the first time this weekend, but they're prime.

Yeah. I actually think Zach Edie just doesn't want to play basketball anymore.

Yeah. He's just so tall.

He's so tall.

I've just been taking his over. Points and rebounds every game. He's big.

He's a large man.

General admission was 230 yesterday.

Shit.

We should have gone 230.

Yeah.

230 people dollars. Okay.

Yeah. All right.

Of course it was.

Before we do the bonk list, our friends from Topgolf are back. It's golf. It's not golf. It's top golf. If you've never heard of them, they have all the stuff to make them legit golf, like balls, clubs, turf, and even a ball picker upper cart thing. But they're very much not golf, too. We're talking loud music, giant targets, heated bays, and unbeatable food and drinks, day or night. There are a lot of big sports moments coming up soon, especially in February and March. And if you're into football and college basketball. So if you want to catch the game as you play, Topgolf is the place. We love Topgolf. We've been many times. It is the best place for date night out with the boys. Come watch your games. You can just practice your swing as well. So since they want everyone to play, they just launched half off golf Monday through Wednesday. When you book in their app, all you have to do is book a Monday through Wednesday in their app and you'll get half off the golf. Of course, even they have some rules. Half off golf Monday through Wednesday applies to gameplay only, isn't offered at every venue, and is only available when you book in their app.

For full details on the offer, visit topgolf.com PMT for a limited time, get half offgolf every Monday through Wednesday when you download and book in their app. For full details, visit topgolf.com pmt. That's topgolf.com pmt. Okay. For people who are not aware, maybe new listeners, we're going to do the 2023 bonk list. This is every time that Hank has decided we have said something horny on the show and therefore got bonked. It's kind of a nice trip down memory lane of the past year. Yeah.

And there's usually one or two things that Hank puts on this list that aren't horny, but Hank's. And he interprets them as being horny. So it's the first bonk it will make Hank. That actually goes on your list.

Yeah. What are we going to put you.

Down for this last month, Hank? Do I have maybe going down to Dallas?

We're going to get into the origin story on this list.

Oh, no. Okay.

I have not been making one for this year because the first year I did it in secret. That was kind of the whole joke. And then I revealed it, and so I thought it might be jumping the shark. Because sometimes you guys were aware. You're saying things. No, but make the bonk list. You got to understand, I wasn't as intensive this year.

Okay.

That was things.

Nice way of just saying you just didn't do your job. No, I have. Shut the fuck up.

I have them here. But you realize that was a classic Billy football.

Yeah. You realize that it's still in secret because we can't remember what we said yesterday.

All right, so I need to do one this year.

Again. Yes.

I have a partial list.

Okay, nice. You can add to it, but you could tell me, Jake.

It means that I think I was supposed to back you up and I stopped after February.

He's got a semi.

So you have a two month list.

Yeah, I see. That's where. That's Billy.

I was also backing you up.

Yeah, sounds like you weren't.

Yeah. You weren't.

No. What you're doing right now is Billy. Because you're blaming Jake for not doing good enough job, of doing your job for him.

I did it.

I did my job. I didn't stop in February.

Okay. But you also weren't because it was in secret and you don't want to do it. So obvious you stopped.

No, I just didn't realize, like, again, the first bonk list was all me? You didn't tasked me the assignment. I was like, there's something I'm going to do because it'll be funny. I thought that the shine wore off a little bit.

No.

And it wouldn't be once a year.

No, there's no shine wearing off.

He did it one time to great commercial and critical acclaim. And he's like, I don't want to sell out doing it too.

Yeah, I'm not a sell out. I don't want to be like, PvT.

Jump the shark.

One time only, starting off hot. I don't know the context for this, and I don't think this is true. Maybe it is. I don't know. The first entry, 1622, is just Billy fucked a MIlF at the airport on New Year's Eve.

Oh, I don't remember any of that.

Me neither. Him. This is allegedly. I guess we'll throw allegedly in there.

Okay, yeah, we'll throw allegedly.

There's no contacts. I don't know, maybe backup. Backup boy, I have that.

He got delayed at the airport.

Oh. And we probably were like, fuck, yeah. All right. Yeah, that makes sense.

January 6, Pft asked me if I had a squirter in my bed.

Okay.

January PFT says, major Tuddy needs a bigger ass.

He does. The pig mascot is not. He's not packing anything.

January 15, big cat calls Daniel Jones hot.

Oh, it's the jawline picture. Okay, remember that in the playoff game? Yeah, they showed him and it was like his jaw was so chiseled. He was hot.

January PfT calls the neck concussion thing a cock ring for your neck.

Yep. Yeah. Which I was blood up there.

I was proven correct on that.

Yeah, same science. And I think you also told us that you put on a Cochrane.

Yeah, I admitted to at one point in my life, I wore Cochrane during intercourse.

Yes. It wasn't for me.

Congrats on the sex. Thanks, January. Still, Pft asked Julian Edelman if he's ever hung out with Jules, who works on inside the NFL, just because they have the same name.

Okay, who's Jules?

I think producer who works on inside the NFL.

Is that a public figure?

Backup boy.

I think Julian mentioned Jules.

That's all I have. It was from the January 27 Julian Edelman interview.

Oh, wait, no, that might not be her. There's an NFL jewels. That's a fair bonk.

I think Julian Edelman brought her up several times. And then as a journalist, I inquired.

Got it. Okay.

PfT says the first thing he would do as mayor of Cincinnati would check out the Nancy Regan files first things first, then the harambee tape.

Throat. True.

Okay, 131 pft makes up a fact about the Super bowl having the most johnsons in it.

Okay, that's not really a bonk.

I'm observing things.

I wish I had more context for these. And I might have messed up the grammar.

Who should be blamed for that?

It's my fault.

This is exactly what I did the first year.

So shut the fuck up because it's exactly what I did the first time. So there's no one to blame. I just, Jake brought a rosin bag and it was great because it made the holes tight and helped that they would never slip out.

Yeah, for the bowling punishment. Oh, yeah, that was a year ago yesterday. On your birthday.

Pf. Yeah, thanks, Jay. He didn't say happy birthday. He said on your. No, I'm saying. Right. Yeah, he said on your birthday.

February. Now, big cat said, a guy hit me up last night and I almost had to skull fuck him.

When was that?

In regards to Pete Weber not playing in the US Open?

Oh, yeah, the guy had called.

Yeah.

Oh, wait, no, we already talked to him. Yeah, remember he. I think Pete Weber actually played in the qualifying this year, so I think he might be back.

So skull fucking works.

Yeah, so we did it.

February 2, big cat decided to have another kid.

Yes.

Okay, fair big cat told Jake his mom was hot. If you're that hot, you have to have four kids.

Yeah.

You guys have done that a few times some time in the show.

In our defense, she's hot. I don't really know what you want us to say.

Comes up like every six months and she swears.

She took my heart when she swore in front of me. She's like, I don't know why Jake doesn't fucking swear. And I was like, God damn it.

February 5, Pft. Quote, it's bad to go all the way in. Sometimes. Just the tip is better. Talking about the nets trade after Kyrie.

Oh, I heard a crazy stat today.

Did you see? They did. By the way, they did a tribute video for KD.

Yeah, KD asked them not to. But this is a crazy stat right now. The big three on the suns, Beal, Booker and KD have played more games together than the big three. I believe it ever did.

Yeah, I believe it.

Isn't that crazy?

They never played. That's insane because remember, Kyrie missed an entire year, then James Harden got hurt, then he wanted traded. It's crazy.

Okay, Pft asked JJ Watt what his wife's at is.

Okay, fair big cat says to JJ.

Watt, you can always just throw a nut in him to slow him down.

Oh, that's about TJ talking about. Yeah. Yeah, he does have a nut allergy. That's more of a bonk on you.

I mean, you told a guy you can always throw a nut in him to slow him down, but it's factual.

I hear both sides of this.

I want to fuck the AI chatbot. Which one of you said that PFD.

Had that for micro?

I was asking them.

Oh, I thought you didn't have.

I did.

The Microsoft one.

Oh, yeah. No, the Microsoft AI chat bot is a baddie. Yeah, she's cool.

How about the girl on the train? You ever see that one?

The movie?

No, the AI.

I read that book.

Oh, okay.

That's the only book.

No one knows. The train. I just wanted to say that I.

Read that book credit to Max.

Read that book. There's like a picture of a girl on a train. She's so fucking hot.

Oh, yeah.

But she's AI.

Yeah, right up my alley. Yeah. Mark Titus.

Why?

Because you like women in transportation.

I mean, we'll get into.

Oh, okay, I got it.

Mark Titus thinks it's a bonk. When Big Cat said, I have a box for you.

That's on Mark.

Mark's a horny motherfucker. That's one thing I've learned the last six months working with him. The dude is rocked up all the time.

Yeah, he walks around the office with an erection.

He says, sorry. Excuse me. Hot erection coming through.

That's why nobody wants to guard him. That's why he's so good at basketball.

Can you with his boner?

PfT makes up a pineapple trophy in college basketball.

Okay. Swingers.

Big cat says, pineapple trophy.

He would fuck the CBI's golden pineapple.

Yeah. Thank you, Jake.

Learn ball, Hank.

All right.

Big Cat said he would fuck sister Gene.

Yeah, I would. Pft for the stories.

PfT says he would fuck Princeton Stadium.

Okay. Oh, I would too. Good looking. That basketball court is so sick.

Jake says he loves sitters when talking about basketball wedgies.

Oh, sitters are awesome.

Yeah, they are.

That first tournament was magical.

Yeah.

Big cat says Mrs. K would look great in sweaters, comma, sweater puppies.

Yeah.

Pft calls Ross roll raw.

What? Whoa.

Pft calls Russell Westbrook a good looking guy.

He is a good looking guy.

Yeah, that's just guys supporting guys.

Pft says Casey Anthony, hate to watch her go, but love to watch her leave.

Facts. Bumper.

Pft says he loves fucking our cheesesteak fries. Pft says he wants to watch John Madden and Dolly Parton fuck in heaven as king.

And, oh, yeah, she's not in heaven.

Yeah, she's not in heaven, but yes, don't kill her.

Don't kill her.

Please don't die.

Take it back.

She should be queen, though. She should be queen of America.

Yeah.

Billy thought Tiana Taylor was Tiana Trump.

Okay, that makes sense.

Martha Stewart is the definition of Baddie. Big cat, I want to suck a fart out of her ass and spit it in pft's mouth.

She's so hot. I don't care.

What is she, like 80?

Yeah, she's great. And she's done hard time. Yeah.

My mom loves Martha Stewart.

So do I.

There's a picture, like, in my house, it's all family pictures. And then me and Martha Stewart when we did her for the course.

Yeah.

I didn't realize how big of a fan she was.

She's hot as fuck.

Who's back of the week? Bress. Pft commenter.

Okay.

Pft wants to see Ricky stick his throat down. Alison stoke after the Ryder cup.

Yeah, because he didn't get that kiss after the Ryder cup in that old picture. So I would like to see him have a redemption story.

Big cat thinks Lane Kiffin's super hot.

He is. He's lost a lot of weight. He's gotten hot. He got hot. He's always got a tan. And like, I don't know. Something about Lane Kiffin just does it for me.

Yeah. He has definitely worked himself back into shape.

Remember when I said that when he came on last time and I was like, you look good. You look like you've lost weight. And he's like, that's a weird thing to say to another guy. I think he kind of liked it. He's playing hard to get.

No one's ever talked to him like that before.

More where that came from. Lane.

This is August. Big cat tweets out a video and the caption was slaply going next level. It was literally just a video of Asses getting slapped in slow motion.

Yeah, I know that video. It's awesome.

Big cat said Jackie's ass was out and she has a donk on the day of JFK's assassination.

She was. She does. She's got a fucking dumper.

She knew what she was wearing.

September.

How do you think she got that fucking rich greek guy to marry her? Yeah.

September eigth.

She had that old dude Zapruder. She was like, hey, just make sure to film me when we're going down the highway because I've got it all hanging out.

It's actually a thirst trap if my husband's brains get blown out. Just make sure you get that ass shot.

Hey, John, there's going to be some cameras out on the parade route today. Let's pull the top down on the convertible.

Do you actually can see that she has the heel move that girls do to show their ass? She had her heel up.

Let's play guess who tweeted this.

Okay.

Every time I'm in an airport, I've got my head on a swivel to see if Tiffany Gomez is there, too.

I think that was. Pft.

I think that was me.

Yeah. Pft. Interesting. Yeah.

A lot of tweets to Tiffany Gomez.

Interesting. Okay.

Trying to get her on the show. Yeah, she's Tiff. She sent me a very nice birthday.

Text, by the way. That's nice.

Very nice.

I just wrote down Lauren Boebert.

Oh, yeah, the video.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. That was the hottest. It was so good actually going to watch.

It was getting felt. It was. She was vaping and people were getting.

Upset at her because, yeah, there was maybe some little kids around, but hot is hot. And it was a first date. She's freaky like that. Yeah.

And then when she was walking out, she was making sure to pass by the security cameras, dumping them out a little bit.

She's hot. She's hot as fuck.

Big cat says he would watch Tyreek Hill in a porno.

Would.

Big cat says he needs to see penis and vagina in order to believe Travis and Taylor.

It doesn't sound like.

I don't remember that.

I don't remember that at all.

You're sick for making that up.

Can we make a clip of that and just cut out my part? The big cat part. Say it again.

Big Cat says he needs to see PNV in order to believe that Travis and Taylor are real.

I don't remember any of I.

Did I say I need to?

Yeah.

So then that's the quote.

Big cat. I'm just reading what I wrote.

Yeah, but what? The quote is the quote that I wrote to quote.

It says, big cat says he needs to see. No, that's what you said.

No, but it's a quote. I said I need to. You did say the quote.

No, you said it.

But say the full quote, which is I need to see PNV with Taylor and Travis.

All right, that's the quote.

Wait, but big cat said it, right?

Big cat says he needs to see PNV in order to believe Travis and Taylor. Pft challenges Miley to a private debate. Don't know the context for this one.

Stop talking me.

Pft thinks it's hot. Bride's dress got ripped.

Who is that from?

October.

Okay.

Pft says he's going to get in his sister Jean's box. And then my last entry, which was thanksgiving, was big cat says Dolly Parton still has it.

Oh, yeah, she still does. That's just that that was at her performance on Thanksgiving.

So we haven't said anything bad in the last two months, Hank.

At all?

Yeah, I mailed it in December.

This is interesting because I just found this clip from part of my take the podcast, and that looks like Hank right there. Okay, I believe I need to see.

PNV in order to believe Taylor and Travis are real.

Oh, Hank, why would you say that about Taylor?

I was quoting big cat.

That's extremely misogynistic of you.

How so?

Because you just said it in a way that made me think that you're horny for wanting to see your vagina when she does not consent to that.

I didn't say vagina.

I got one. Hank said that midway and O'Hare are 4 hours apart so that he could stay an extra day at Tiffany Gomez's house.

Yeah, that's a good one.

I have a few more.

It was during football.

Oh, okay.

January 3, Hank imagining big cat giving head to a hose. Maybe because you're talking about, like, hose water. Okay, Pft called George Kittle's 100 year old grandma good looking.

Okay? Respect. She is.

Yeah, for sure.

Good genes.

And then lastly, Hank likes the K Adams show.

You watch every episode?

Gaslight Central.

No, we had entire dinner.

I have combined. Second, you walked us through the entire.

Rundown of the all of Kay Adams show. That's a fact.

Oh, man. Gaslighting is crazy.

No, but you did. You said that you're like Kay Adams. Oh, we should get her on. I love her show. I watch it every day.

Okay, yeah, sure.

You don't think he said that?

I know I didn't say that.

Remember when Stu made the video of him being the suitcase?

Yeah, that video. That was last year at the Super bowl, right? All time video. Yeah, her trying to close her suitcase.

She's lovely. The show is great. I just don't watch it every day, but maybe I'll.

So you watch it most days.

I see clips on Twitter occasionally.

Okay, the algorithm gets that for you. Yeah, you watch one. Keep going. That was a good bonk list, Hank. Yeah.

Thank you.

Until the last two months.

Yeah. So are you starting this year's?

I will now.

Okay. Maybe with context. You want to start off.

No, shut the.

No.

You make your own bonk list, buddy.

I bookmarked Sydney Sweeney. You can put that on there. You want to listen to it again?

I'm not familiar with the clip, so I should.

Why don't you make a bonk list?

I think the people like the Hank bonk list, though.

It's crazy that you can't do just a little bit of work.

I did the whole fucking thing.

Wait.

Did I see the video? She's with our friend Sean Evans on hot ones. Let's see. Oh, some people have unbookmarked. So we're down to 28,000 bookmarks.

Hank and I got in a little bookmark battle today about the Dan Quinn situation. I've never bookmarked a tweet, but I bookmarked Hank's.

Ha.

And I can't wait to rub it in your face, Hank.

When he's good, I have bookmarks. Him bookmarking me, and I can't wait to.

And then I bookmarked that backmarks, and then we started doing screenshots of the bookmarks to bookmark more things. You're going to owe me bookmark battle.

I love it.

You're going to owe me $20,000 on the Patriots don't make a Super bowl.

Yes. That was one of the dumbest bets ever in the moment. I was like, don't do this, Hank.

I think I was drunk.

No, it was exactly where we were logging. We were in Ohio hotel, eating pizza. Pizza in the lobby. And you were just feeling yourself.

Well, he was very hungry that day because he hadn't basically gotten to eat at.

Yeah, yeah. Keep you from eating Max, actually, because we're landing in Vegas, like, in the afternoon, and Max was like, should we eat before or after we record the. This? No. But I could feel that. No. Hank was kind of looking at me like, don't you stop me from eating me. An adult that can totally get my own food. You're going to fucking make me not eat dinner?

You act like you're not the mom of the show that's running the show.

But you can make the agenda.

You're like, all right, this is the day to day schedule. Nowhere was her breakfast. It's fine. Everyone knows how it goes.

I just wanted to know when we could record the show.

I know, but I saw out of the corner of my eye, Hank was like, they're not going to let me eat dinner again. You can eat at any time you want.

All right, we'll keep that in mind.

Okay.

See, when that.

Well, no, there's times when we're working that you could eat before we work.

All right?

You could plan it changing. You could eat whenever we're not scheduled for stuff.

I think when we're together as a band of brothers on the road, we do everything together. That's how I like to operate with my. You're become a little bit more of a diva. You do everything on your own, and it's like you don't want to eat with.

What do I do on my own?

You eat on your own.

You don't want to eat with the people.

I don't even think I ate breakfast that morning.

We should start packing snack bags for Hank. Yeah, like granola bars, peanuts. Yes.

It's a great bonding experience.

The only diva thing I do is that when you guys want to go to the bar, I'm like, I have one night where I can go to sleep, and I say, I'm going to go to my room and go to sleep. That's like the opposite of diva. And you're like, no, I want you to be here so you can tell me when to eat. I'm basically your domination.

You walk in. Hostess table for six and one, please. I'll be in the back.

Well, hank, you know what? I'm going to make sure that you eat all Vegas.

Thank you.

Okay. I'm going to be stuffing you with food.

Actually, hank should just eat at the wind buffet every meal. Yeah, that should be what you have to do.

Just do that. Just schedule it out. You get 3 hours a day to eat. Great. All right, perfect. Okay. Speaking of, let's get to our interviews with booger and stav, and it's brought to you by our friends at jif. America eats over a billion wings during the big game. And with every serving comes celery that 86% of people don't want. Jiff peanut butter is changing that by delivering gif to your door in 60 minutes or less. Everyone needs to do their part to save the celery during the big game by including jiff peanut butter in their game day spreads their go to their two go cups are perfect for the big game. Celery neglect stops with you. An irresistible jiff peanut butter. Why are you throwing it? All right, I got it all over my fingers, but I love jif, so it's fine. Get your free jar of jiff on 211 February 11 while supplies last. Or you can act now and order everything you need to save the celery during the big game. Go to savetheselery.com to get jiff delivered to your door for the big game. I'm going to take a bite.

Celery on peanut or peanut butter on celery.

Hear that crunch?

Yeah, that was kind of like cool.

Asmr.

That was asmr. That's how good jiff is. So go right now. Saveththecellery.com to get jiff delivered to your door for the big game. The best peanut butter out there. Get that celery. Peanut butter. So good. Savethecellery.com to get jiff delivered to your door for the big game. Okay, here he is, booger mcFarland. Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests, very good friend of the show, it is booger mcFarlane. We figured we hadn't talked to him in a while. We're getting close to the end of football season, and we don't talk to you for a few months, so we wanted to have you on, talk some ball, talk some what's going on in Boog's life. So thanks for joining us. Boog, how's it going? Just straight up, like end of football season. How you feeling? Because I know we mentally are tired, but we also hate that football is about to end.

Yeah. What's up, fellas? I'm glad everybody's doing well. I feel the same way, man. I mean, if you think about, it's a grind all football season, and we look forward to the grind, but at a certain point, the grind kind of wears on you. Like, man, I can't wait till this travel ends. I can't wait till I stop getting on and off a plane, having to sit there and talk about the same old topics over and over and over. And then once you get down to one last game left, you're like, man, what the hell am I going to do with my life for the next four or five months? So it's bittersweet. I enjoy doing this. I know you guys enjoy doing what you guys do, but it's always kind of sad when we get to the point where there's only one football game.

Yeah, yeah.

You get down to the last game, and I agree with you, at the end of the season and maybe to a certain extent, at the start of the playoffs, it's the same topics over and over again. Dallas Cowboys losing is DaC, the guy, et cetera, et cetera. But then you get to that one last game and you're like, I really want to squeeze every drop of football juice out of this one game. So I'm going to get way too detailed in my analysis of the Chiefs and the 49 ers.

Yeah, way too detailed. But before we go any further, let's stop. I feel like I would be doing a disservice if I didn't say happy birthday to my guy and hopefully I got this right. I was looking on social media that you celebrated a birthday recently.

Pft, I did, yeah, it was yesterday. Thank you, boogie. That's very nice of.

Well, I just want to say happy birthday. I didn't get a chance to say it yesterday. I was going to text you, but I knew we would be talking this morning. Happy birthday. How old are we? 40?

What? 45?

50?

I'm 39.

I'm 39. I appreciate that because I'm so wise. You think I'm older, but actually, no, I'm just a spry 39 year old.

Yeah, I'm actually older than. Pft.

Well, first of all, he looks older. You just look fatter.

That's kind of the way I look at it. I was just getting even meaner and meaner.

Booger, is there anybody else that you'd like to wish a happy birthday to?

Not really. Who else?

Okay.

It was big cat's birthday on Tuesday.

Yeah.

Oh, it was your birthday.

Listen, I'm a day older than believe. You know what, Booger? I don't care because men shouldn't know each other's birthdays.

That's a fact. This is true. The only person's birthday you should know. Family members, kids and your wife, like anybody else. If you know your best friend's birthday or your homeboy's birthday, to me, that's a little weird because even though we're best friends, we're not going to exchange gifts. I'm not going to call you like, hey, bro, happy birthday. Let's go hang out. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, right. Kind of sus. What it really is is male friendship, is you need one guy in your group who knows everyone's birthday. So then they send the text being like, happy birthday, this person. And then you're like, oh, yeah, happy birthday. And I never have to learn a birthday, but, yeah, what's my birthday? Tuesday? Whatever. You don't like me anyway, but thank you, Booger.

That was really nice of you.

First of all, you're welcome. Second of all, I do like you. I only tease you about your weight and about your ability to control your donor cravings, because I do like you. And at some point, 20 years from now, when we're done with all this stuff we're doing, I want us to be able to sit back, drink some stellar blue coffee, and reminisce about the good old days when I ripped you to death.

Yeah. So you'll be able to do that. You'll be sitting at my gravesite and you'll be able to talk to me and it'll be fine. We'll have fun. You bring some donuts to my grave when I die. 55.

You're not going to be dead at 55, big guy.

Trust me. It is true, though.

Guys shouldn't know. Friendship is not about knowing each other's birthdays. It's about knowing what to make fun of the other guy for. Yeah, that's how we say that we love you.

When it comes to, like, I don't know if you have this booger, but I'm done with the bachelor parties. But I'll go on a guy's trip, and at the end of the guy's trip, I'll actually sit my friends down and I'll just ask them, like, three or four questions that I can bring back to my wife because I know she's going to be like, what's going on with this person? What's going on with this person? Because when you're hanging out, you're not talking about that stuff. You're not like, hey, how's your day to day life?

It's amazing the amount of questions my wife asked me. Well, why do you do that?

I don't know.

I never asked him.

Yeah, right. What's going on with this? I don't even know what my friends do for a living. I don't care. I know they're happy. They'll tell me if there's a problem. If they ever need me, I'm there for them. But other than that, we just talk about the game, hang out.

Exactly. Talk about the game. What do you want to order? What are we going to eat, how much of it are we going to eat and when are we going to do it again? That's it.

The eating part is like family vacations. It's like if you didn't have the meals, you can't go on a family vacation because you got to be like, all right, what are we going to do for lunch? Where we're going to eat dinner? Okay, day's over.

That's it.

That's pretty much the highlight of the day, buddy.

All right. I like this adult male friendship. It is funny. The quirks that we all have that we all share and we don't realize until we say it out loud. Booger. I wanted to start, we're going to talk a little Super bowl, but I want to start with something you're hot on, on Twitter. I saw this yesterday. So Jeff Hathley gets hired by the Green Bay packers. His defensive coordinator gets hired away from Boston College, which he had been doing a pretty good job there. And you pointed out that this is going to start happening left and right when it comes to college sports because it's so hard to recruit, to re recruit, transfer portal nil that we're going to start losing a lot of good coaches from college for what's kind of a step down in terms of coordinator position. What's the fix? Because you're right. I think this is going to be a trend.

Yeah, you know what? I don't know what the fix is. I can throw out a bunch of ideas. I think college football needs a CBA to kind of govern this because it's clear that the federal government is not going to step in because the laws differ from state to state. So I don't think the federal government is going to step in. That's number one. Number two, I think there needs to be a one time transfer period. Right now. You got a fall transfer portal, period. You got a spring transfer portal, period. Like as soon as the season is over, think about after you've come out of your worst meeting or you come out of your worst event. If somebody asks you a question about the person you met with, you'd be like, man, he sucks. But if you had a couple of months to cool off, you'd be like, you know what? He was probably trying to tell me something that I really needed to hear, but I didn't want to hear because we don't want to hear bad news. And that's what happens to these kids after the season when you can transfer in December, like, if they didn't play well or they didn't get as much playing time, and the coach said, hey, it's going to be competition.

Prime example, let's look at the Ohio State quarterback, Kyle McCord. Eleven and one, you lost to Michigan. And from what I heard, he went into Ryan Day's office and he wanted to be guaranteed the starting job the next year. Well, the starting job wasn't guaranteed, so him and his dad took their ball and they left and they ran.

Well, guess what?

If he couldn't transfer until the spring, do you think Kyle McCorra would have come back, maybe worked on some of his shortcomings, maybe gotten a little better? And then in the spring, if you go through spring practice and you still want to transfer, okay, I can deal with that. But some of the emotional transfers that happen in December, I think will be cut out. Other things you could do. I'm all for guys making money, but name, image and likeness was put in place just for that. What it's turned into now is free agency. I got guys calling me saying, yeah, we're in negotiations with Florida State right now, and if negotiations don't go well, we're going to the what? Negotiations. That's where we are right now. And I love college football, guys. I know there's nothing that we love more than sitting up on a Saturday morning, prepping, getting ready for college football. It's different than the NFL. Even though there's much more money involved in the National Football League, how much do we enjoy college football and the reasons we enjoy it? I just don't want to lose that. And I feel like we're trending toward losing our Saturdays because I don't want Saturdays to be like Sundays.

Like, there's a difference between Saturday and Sunday and I want to keep that the same.

I agree. I wholeheartedly agree.

Absolutely. And you're right. I think that college football was broken for a very long time in terms of the money that was going to the schools, to the organizations, to the conferences, and then the players weren't getting anything despite the fact that they were the product and they were putting all the labor into it. And now it seems like the lack of any rules whatsoever is making it so it's much harder to enjoy the sport and enjoy the identity of the team that you thought that you used to be so deeply emotionally involved in. And I don't know what it is like with the CBA. I don't know who's going to put that in place. Do you think the NCAA is going.

To step up and do that?

Because it seems to me the NCA, their mindset right now is like, we don't know what's happening and we're afraid of doing anything because we're just going to get sued by the schools if we do something that they don't like.

The NCAA is useless. It's like me talking to big cat about a diet. It's just useless. I'm seriously think about this. They will pick and choose what they want to investigate. They will pick and choose when they want to rule like, they're still ruling on things from like 2021. We're in 2024 now. So what good is the quote unquote good old boy network, which is a bunch of guys in an old antiquated system where they ran college sports? Well, guess what? The only thing they really run right now is March Madness. Other than that, the power five in football is running college football. Greg Sankey is the most powerful person in college football to commissioner the SEC. So if we want to deem a czar or a commissioner of college football, I'm going to nominate Greg Sanki. Because whatever the SEC does, and I know the Big ten is kind of making some moves, I would put the SEC in the Big ten, but since Greg Sankey has kind of been the forefront, whatever Greg wants to do, I think everybody else will follow. So let's nominate him and make him the Czar of the commission of college football and just go ahead and stop playing like it's the quote unquote NCAA.

No, it's the power five or the big two or three or four, depending on what the ACC does in Florida State and Clemson. And just separate from the rest of those, have a quote unquote invitational and determine a champion that way. Because that's ultimately where we're headed right now. If we're acting like the NCAA is actually governing the Power five, then we're fooling ourselves.

Yeah, and I agree with you. And I also think that, why isn't there, I know we've tried to make it the twelve team playoff. We're going to get some more group of five teams involved. But to me it's like, okay, we have the Power five. We know there's going to always be a gap. Like Alabama playing Cincinnati. Cincinnati was a great story that year. You play that game 100 times, Alabama wins probably 99, 100 times. Why not have the group of five play for a championship as well? Because guess what, that will still mean something. And the kids want to play for a championship and that's still like, you could do a separate. Why not? Why not have two different playoffs?

Well, I think you could have that, but don't you think UCF and Danny White would kind of feel a know?

Yeah, that's fine, but they would still get to play for a national title. It would be a little bit different, but I think people would be in on.

So, okay, people might be in on it. So if we did this, let's play this hypothetical out. Does UCF have to turn in their championship they won a few years ago, or can they roll that forward, they.

Can repeat it, they can keep that one.

And you can definitely claim a national championship if you win the group of five.

Yeah, by all means. And kids get to play playoff football, that means something to be like, this is the best group of five team. And it's just kind of weird to me that I understand it. We want everyone to be involved, but let's actually make it so that the group of five is playing for something that's meaningful instead of playing for a playoff seed to get killed by an Alabama or an LSU. And again, it's not saying they're not good teams and they're not really good football players, but there is a point where it's like, there's a levels here.

Yes.

And you have to just.

But they don't want to do that, though, because again, we live in a society where we want to be. And I'm all for exclusivity. I'm all for making everybody a part of things. But at some point you have to ask yourself how many times, if you put Tulane in this year, you put SMU Liberty, like, liberty played Oregon this year and everybody knew the moment the game kicked off, Liberty had no shot. But because Liberty got a spot at the table based on the rules that were written, Liberty played Oregon in a new year's six game and they had no shot whatsoever. And to me, I agree with you. Why not put Liberty in a situation and reward them for a good season in a bowl game that they actually can win? Because they had no shot of beating Oregon that day.

Yeah, we kind of treat it like college basketball. We're like, oh, well, upsets happen in college basketball. That's a lot different when it's five on five and a guy can get hot or a team can shoot bad in a one game situation. And it's not like, hey, this offensive line is 320 pounds and this defensive line is 260. Oregon was so much bigger.

So much bigger than Liberty was insane.

Right. All right. Other thing that I want to talk about, and I don't want to do too long on it because it has been a few days and we've talked about ad nauseam, we defend Dan Campbell. You don't?

Yeah, I don't. And here's why. Dan Campbell has made his name based on his style of coaching and the culture that he has built. We're going to go far more than anybody else. We're going to bite knees, elbows. We're going to be tougher. We're going to be more physical, and that's great. I understand that. But at some point you have to take into account time situation in the game you're in. You just can't have a blanket formula saying we're always going to go for it. Now, the one at the end of the half. Okay, cool. You want to kick the field goal. I love that. Kick the field goal. You go up 17 points. At some point, though, when the score is 24 to ten and you're halfway through the third quarter. So let's just start doing the math. I know you're probably not good at math for you.

I got math for you. Yeah.

Okay, perfect. So it's 24 ten. It's about seven minutes left. If you kick that field goal and you go up 27 to ten, how many more possessions do you think the 49 ers are going to get? Four, maybe four. So they got a score on three of their four possessions, two of them being touchdowns to tie you. Okay, so doing the simple math, if you kick that field goal, then you give yourself a high probability of winning the game. Now that's number one. I thought that was a clear mistake. When it's 27 24 and you're down three, there's such a thing that's called momentum and it's a mindset. Think about it. Prime example. Pft. Watch this. This is just for you. If you and I are on a peloton ride. No, it's not going to be insult. This is actually going to be something that, it's going to be relatability, something that you and I can't relate to a lot. If you and I are on a peloton ride and the score is tied and there's three minutes left on the ride, you're going to feel really good about, okay, I got a chance. If you and I on a ride and you're down 50 on a peloton ride and there's three minutes left, you're going to be like, damn, I got a tough heel to climb.

It's the mindset of being tired as opposed to the mindset of being down. And I thought at 27 24, you kick the field goal, you become tired. Now, you stopped all the momentum in the second half of the 49 ers and your team's mindset is in a different spot. And so, yeah, I disagree with Dan Campbell on two of the three situations where he went further on fourth down.

If we were tied, I would assume that you fell off your bike. That's really the only way that would ever happen. But you said something there I want to drill down on. You said you make a field goal and now you're up three scores. We're not talking about make a field goal. We're talking about kick a field goal. Yeah, and the Lions kicker isn't great.

I have some stats for you. You want the stats? You want the math?

Yes, let's do the math.

Okay, so I went through it. Michael Badgley career 45 to 49 yards. So this isn't including over 50 because that obviously skews it. It was going to be a 45 yard or 46 yard. 45 to 49 yards in his career is 65%. The Detroit Lions on fourth and three or less this season is 85%. Okay, so that part is like they didn't trust their kicker. You can blame them for having a kicker they don't trust, but they didn't trust their kicker. That's the big issue.

Well, okay, then that leads to a bigger problem. Why is it your kicker?

I agree with you there. I completely agree with you there. You go. In the playoffs with a kicker that you don't trust, you're going to be playing with a hand behind your. But like, given the circumstances and how they feel about their kicker and how they feel about their, to just to bring it down to just like a very simple level, do you not believe, like Dan Campbell doesn't trust his defense, doesn't trust his kicker, trusts his offense. Don't you want the part of your team, the third of your team that you have the most trust on making the plays in the big moments, like that's what he wants.

If we put it in a vacuum and just say that, yes, I agree with you, but we all know that football is three phases, offense, defense, and special teams. And again, it leads to a bigger conversation if you don't trust your defense, the defense, oh, by the way, that dominated the first half against San Francisco. A defense, oh, by the way, that has gotten better the second half of the season. Aaron Glenn is up for several head coaching jobs. He hadn't gotten one yet. We'll see what happens in Washington. The kicker, I'll give you the kicker again, but if he 65% to me, I just think there's a big enough difference in three score. Okay. All right. Since we want to do math, let's say he goes for it and let's say he makes it. What's the probability that if he makes it, they're going to score a touchdown?

So you may wind up kicking a field goal again.

Yeah, but a shorter one that he can hit. By the way, we have breaking news. We're going to break this live. Dan Quinn has been named the next head coach for the Washington commanders. Let's go. That just happened.

Left hand upwards.

Yep.

This happened right now.

Booger.

I'm going to say right now I love this hire. It's a great hire. Dan Quinn, great coach. It's a great because it's a great hire. His players love him.

This is instant reaction from everyone in the room.

Instant reaction. All right, here's the thing about Dan Quinn. People forget he got to a Super bowl and he put together a team. His quarterback was an MVP. They dominated the NFC south. He got to a Super bowl.

People forgot he was up 25 in a Super bowl.

He was up 25 in a Super bowl. If you put together a team where your quarterback is the MVP, you dominate the NFC south. You get to a Super Bowl, I think that's going to make you a pretty good head coach.

You'd sign up for being up 25.

And a Super Bowl.

I can't think of any recent examples of head coaches for the Washington commanders that have that same resume. But I have no choice but to support Dan Quinn. And you hear his players talk about him. His players love him. And it's also an added bonus of making the Cowboys worse. So we're making them worse.

Yeah. Just to tie the two together, if I gave you a choice right now going forward, Dan Campbell or Dan Quinn?

Dan Quinn. Dan Quinn. Easy choice.

No, it's an easy choice. He's got to go all in. Booger, he just found out he turned his hat backwards. He's got to go all in. Let him go all in. This is actually adult friendship right here. This is male friendship. Booger, I know my guy right now is hurting, but you got to just support him and be like, you know what? Okay, we're quitting right now. It's quitting time.

And Booger, you just said a second. Yeah, do the hat. Yeah, get the hat.

Get the hat backwards.

It's the new way all the kids are doing.

We're quitting. There we go. We got to support our boys, even.

If they're making a mistake.

No, we're not making a mistake, though. But if I were, I would appreciate the support. You just said yourself Dan Campbell goes forward on fourth downs. He's a bird brain. Yeah, I don't want that. I want Dan Quinn. Dan Quinn is. He got to a Super bowl.

Okay.

So I'm going to support you. So let's spin this glass half. Number one, I'm surprised that they went with another defensive coach. You fire Ron Rivera, who's a defensive guy. You go to Dan Quinn, who's also a defensive guy, tells me that they're going to put a premium on how physical they want to be and how they want to play defense in Washington. That's number one. Dan Quinn is a big energy guy. Like, he's a big positivity guy. When I called Monday Night football, I had some meetings, some production meetings with him. He is so fun to talk to, so full of energy. He's going to create a positive atmosphere, which is something that they haven't had in Washington a long time. Based on the old ownership and based on some of the things that were coming in that building. That's number two. The third thing is they got a lot of capital from a draft standpoint. They're going to have a high pick. You got to figure out what you're going to do at the quarterback position. Are you going to be a big believer in Sam Howell? Are you going to move on from Sam Howell and draft one of these guys that are going to be in the 2024 draft?

So, so many questions. I do like the hire because the last thing I'll say about it is this, is that too many times we hire the guy who can babysit the quarterback.

Oh, I love.

You have to hire an offensive guy to help CJ shroud. No, you don't.

Okay.

Demiko, Ryan, CJ Shroud. It's great. You get a good offensive coordinator, and the Houston Texans are in great shape right now. So I love that you go out and you hire the best leader of men. I need somebody that can stand in front of the room and say, hey, guys, we suck. Here's how we're going to get better, and I think Dan Quinn can do that. And to your point about being down 20, being what?

Was up 25. He was up 25.

He was up 25, which is probably not something to brag about. And he lost, I think, his ability to understand. A second time around, I wasn't successful. Okay, the first time. Now a second time around, I get another opportunity. Notice we got a couple of retreads. Him and Raheem Morris are retreads in the NFL. Also, Jim Harbaugh, even though Harbaugh, I don't think. Did Harbaugh get fired or he just leave San Francisco the first time? I can't remember. Either way, those three guys are getting a second go around in the national football League.

Yeah, three guys that got to a Super bowl.

Right?

Or I guess Raheem Morris was on that Falcons staff at the time.

Correct.

Yes, and this is also, now I'm thinking about. This is also good for me because that stupid graphic that you guys always show with all the former Washington head coaches and how great they're doing right now, those guys were also, they were all on the Falcons team and Dan Quinn was their coach on that Falcons team. So now it's more like we need to talk about all the former Falcons head coaches that are now elsewhere in the league.

Yeah, but that's not sexy, though. Nobody wants to talk about it's not sexy.

What about the fact of hiring a defensive guy to run the show? And you can say this about Seattle, too, with McDonald. You hire a defensive guy to run the show, you have to nail the offensive coordinator, especially if you have a young. And then, well, you do.

Yeah.

And then you saw this year it didn't really happen, but you had Ben Johnson in Detroit, you had Bobby Sloick in Houston, two up and coming offense coordinators that got interest to be hired somewhere else as a head coach. In those cases, they decided to go back and stick around. But I think more often than not, if you have a good young coordinator, they're going to get poached somewhere else to be a head coach. So then you have to just keep trying to find new offensive guys. Is there any advantage to having a defensive head coach running the entire show as opposed to an offensive guy like Andy Reid that you know is going to stick around for a while?

Well, I think defensive guys usually structure practice and structure things a little bit differently. Usually most offensive coaches, they can never have enough practice time because they want to run every offensive play they can. Having played for John Gruden and then playing for Tony Dungey, I can tell you the difference is really this. John wanted to practice until they got every offensive play right. Tony Dungey just wanted to practice to be up tempo and to be physical. It didn't matter who won practice whether the offense wanted the defense. One, offensive guys hate when they get their ass kicked every day, and so that's the difference. Let me ask you this about Ben Johnson. Were you guys surprised since we're talking about offensive coordinators and who Dan Quinn is going to hire, were you surprised that Ben Johnson, A, went back to Detroit and B, rumors are he had a salary demand somewhere in the ten to $15 million range and that scared teams off. Were you surprised that those two things either leaked or happened?

I'm surprised that he went back, yes, because it felt like it was a foregone conclusion this entire season that he was going to leave. You saw the Detroit offense this year and they were almost, they were almost impossible to stop. The only thing that could stop him was Josh Reynolds dropping a couple easy catches on, like, short fourth downs. So I was shocked that he went back. But I do think Dan Campbell kind of gave him a pep talk, and you know how Dan can get. He basically opened up his heart and was like, we built this thing in Detroit, see it through to the finish. And I think Ben Johnson had that in the back of his head and he was like, you know what? I'm going to do that. And then also I'm going to stick around so that next year I can coach the know.

Somebody asked me, do you think he's, do you think he's, quote unquote scared to run his own program? And I'll never say a man is scared because this is two years in a row, two years in a row that he's basically said, I don't want a job. And he said, I got unfinished business. Like, how many times can he do that, in your opinion?

Well, I think if he does it again next year, it's going to be weird. People are going to be like, well, now something's weird.

Exactly.

Yes, I agree.

And I think that being a head coach sometimes isn't for everybody. So you can be a great queen.

He's a great defensive coordinator, not a great head coach.

Got to Super bowl, though, and this is his second time, and he's learned from his mistakes.

I'm really looking forward to that yourself into that one. But sometimes there are guys that are better coordinators than coaches.

Offensive side of the ball, who's your head coach, big cat? Was he a good coordinator?

Listen, my head coach is we're going to trust Ryan Poles and we're going to see how Caleb Williams does. Do you think Caleb Williams is slam dunk number one pick? Like, I know we're now in that smokescreen period where everyone will break down these guys and find everything that's wrong about them and you'll get everyone being like, well, what about this? What about that? Sometimes you just got to watch the games and be like, trust it and be like, yeah, he's got elite skills that, yeah, there's some holes, but you got to take the shot.

Yes, I think if you're the bears, because where Caleb Williams is, I think his ceiling is so much higher than Justin Fields. Justin Fields can develop into a really good quarterback. He can even develop into an mvp type quarterback because of his athletic ability. But Caleb Williams has enough of mahomesy stuff in him that you got to invest in that. Caleb Williams as a passer coming into the National Football League is further along than Justin Fields has been the first couple years in the National Football League already. So hopefully they draft Caleb Williams, somebody offers them maybe a two and a four for Justin Fields. You get those picks, you can recoup some stuff and you can start to build Chicago that way. That's what I would do. And on top of that, there's so many more advantages. You reset the rookie, know you can start to kind of develop. You get him a number one ride receiver to go along with DJ Moore, by the way. DJ is the number one. I think you get another guy at some point. Now you got a couple of good receivers, very similar to how Joe Burrow has in Cincinnati when got t Higgins, Boyd and Chase, even though I think they're going to lose Higgins, but you still need to surround your quarterback with two or three really good receivers.

And so if I'm Chicago, that's the path that I go down.

I like it. All right, so I want to talk about the Super bowl real quick. You obviously had played in a Super bowl, two Super Bowls, right? Yeah. You won two Super Bowls. You played in two Super Bowls before the game. From a mental, just personal aspect, what point of the week do you start to get nervous and what point of the week are you like, yes, it's another game, but no, it's not another game. 100 plus million people are watching and this defines legacies.

It was the night before and all week long, the hype, the build up, like, everybody wants to be a part of that. And it's something that is totally cool because the entire sports world is focused on you and your team and you're having so much fun, especially when you get to the city and all the work is pretty much done and now it's time to take a team photo. It's time for media night. It's time for so many different things, but the night before the game is different. I'll never forget down in being down in Miami when we played the Bears, I woke up at like 03:00 a.m. Sunday morning. And now the game is not until, what, 6536 or whatever, the time it kicked off and I tried to go back to sleep, I couldn't. I tossed and turned and we were in Fort Lauderdale, so we didn't stay in Miami. And I literally went out on the balcony and it's 330 in the morning and I'm just staring out thinking of the possibilities that could happen, the possibilities or the outcomes that could play out that day. I'm thinking about making plays. I'm thinking about doing different.

Like, I'm thinking about everything you can think of out on that balcony. Before I know it, it's 06:00 a.m. And at 06:00 a.m. It's a long, long day. I mean, a long day. The nervous energy started to build as the night went on into the morning. And as we get to the stadium and it's like overcast and cloudy. If you remember Super Bowl 41, it rained all game. Prince did purple rain at halftime in the rain. Unbelievable.

That's all I remember.

Exactly.

That's it.

I'm in pregame. Exactly. And sexy Rexy Grossman, no question.

Well, it was raining. It was raining.

The rain had nothing to do with Rex Grossman. Okay. The most cool moment, though, was sitting in stretch in pregame. And, you know, there's probably 45 minutes to go before game time, and you're sitting there and everybody's walking around taking pictures, and I could just start to take it all in. And it was one of those cool, surreal moments because I dreamed of it for a long time, man, like being in that spot. And I got hurt in the game in the Buccaneers year that we ran to the Super bowl, so I didn't actually get a chance to, quote unquote play. And so for me to be in that Super Bowl 41 in Miami, strapped up, ready to go on the field, is one of those surreal moments, man. And the nervous energy doesn't go away until the ball is kicked off and until you get hit in the mouth. And I had some great battles in my career with Olan Cruz when I was in Tampa. And wouldn't you know it, here we are in the Super bowl. It's me and Olan Cruz. And it was one of those three hour movies, man, where I didn't want to be anywhere else, right?

And it wasn't because I knew we were going to win. It was because I knew something special was happening in that moment. He and I are good friends, and he and I battled for years. We're doing this on the biggest stage. And after the game, for him to come up and say, hey, man, congrats, much respect that part of the whole deal culminating with the victory, it's just one of those moments. But to go back to your original question, man, you get super nervous the day of the game, the night before the game, and I didn't sleep again until like Tuesday morning. I mean, it was like the longest 48 hours and the most fun 48 hours of my life.

Okay, so another question about it. Obviously, it's a little different because Peyton Manning, at that point of his career, it was like, peyton Manning can't win a Super bowl. Like chokes in the big moment, even though he know already on the path to a Hall of Fame quarterback Patrick Mahomes has won a couple Super Bowls. But what is the vibe like when you have a guy like Peyton Manning or Patrick Mahomes in terms of the locker room? Is it we don't want to let this guy down? Or is it we got our ace in the hole? Like we know we're okay because of this quarterback?

You feel super confident? Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like when you walk out on the field and your kids are playing and you look over on the other sideline and the kids that they're playing in basketball are like a foot shorter and they don't have their shoes tied, you're like, yeah, we got this one today. It's going to be a good day for little Johnny. Like, that's how we feel with Peyton Manning. That's how you got to feel with Patrick Mahomes. Now, obviously, it's not to that level because we're playing pro football, but there's a level of confidence that you have when you have one of the all time greats because you know that your guy can get it done at any time.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but playing with confidence is a huge factor that we don't understand if we're watching on tv, but I would imagine, like a locker room, a unit. Playing with that confidence can make you a significantly better player on the field.

No doubt about it. Confidence, momentum, it's kind of like, again, back to Dan Campbell. I got more confidence when I'm tired or up than when I'm down. So, yeah, confidence is something, man, that you can't fake. Like, you either have it or you don't. I can tell you on the first snap of the game whether or not I might have a good game because I can understand that my opponent and what I'm dealing with. And so even though Devin Hester took the opening kickoff back, even though the first time we got on defense and Rex Grossman broke the huddle and Rex Grossman snapped the football, I go back and I tell Kato June and Gary Brackett, Rex Grossman cannot beat us. I got to saw a look in his, and from that snap going forward, you knew that the Bears were going to try to play around Rex Grossman, run the football, play defense, maybe get another special teams play. They weren't going to let Rex Grossman try to beat us. And at that point, we just tried to beat the hell out of Rex Grossman as many times as we could. And once we stopped the run, the game was basically over.

We talk about playoff speed, super bowl speed, how it's like a little bit different in these big games. In the trenches, though. Is there Super bowl strength? Are people pushing harder? Is it more physical?

No, it's not any more physical once you get into the playoffs. To me, there's preseason, there's regular season, there's postseason. And so, like, postseason just goes up a notch. And the reason it goes up a notch is because the competition is that much better. So the speed is, like, you often hear those cliches about the speed. Yeah, the speed is better because the competition is better. And so Olin Krutch is going to play faster. Know, I don't know, some dude from Kansas City who can't play anymore because Olin Kruch should be in the hall of, like, he's a Hall of Fame level type player, so he's going to play at a faster speed for sure.

Yeah.

That's an interesting way to think about it. I feel really dumb all these years being like, the game's faster in the playoffs. Well, yeah, it's the better teams that are playing.

Yeah.

That tend to have much faster players.

Yeah.

It's a good point.

True. Although I will say that the 49 ers do feel like the faster team when you're just saying pure speed team speed against the Chiefs. And I don't know if that's maybe the Chiefs just shape shifting into more of, like, a deliberate offense, but it does feel like just looking on paper, they have a lot of really fast guys, especially on the outside. And with McCaffrey, it does feel like they have more speed.

I was surprised that I saw somewhere 49 er. The 49 ers are a favorite, like, by one and a half or something.

They are.

That's surprising based on the way their defense is played, number one and number two, the two quarterbacks in this game. The fact that Vegas wants you to take Brock Purdy over Patrick Mahomes, I'm not sure I can do. I mean, I don't know about you.

Guys, but, no, I took the Chiefs because I'm trying really hard not to have it swayed because there are parts of it that I start to think about and it's like, listen, if the Niners just want to run the but if the Niners do what the Ravens didn't do and just be like, hey, Christian McCaffrey. Here's Christian McCaffrey 30 times. I don't know if the Chiefs have a great answer for that, but at the end of the day it is like who do you trust to make the big play in the fourth quarter? And the answer is always Patrick Mahomes.

Let me ask you this, guys. Doesn't it feel like that if the 49 ers don't get it done? Now we're going to start to kind of say, well, are they ever going to get it done? How many times can this iteration of this defense and put in ex quarterback and Kyle Shanahan and the wizardry of him as an offensive guy? They've been knocking on the door for a long time. If they don't get it done here, are we going to start to kind of question whether or not they can ever get it done?

I don't know because they do have a couple years under the Brock Purdy window because he's not going to get paid for a little bit so they can make some more additions or they could go out in the offseason, they could get a quarterback and there are a couple quarterbacks that come to mind.

Let's not have any Brock Purdy slander right now.

I'm not slandering Brock Purdy. I'm just saying.

You just said they're going to go get another quarterback. No, that's Brock Purdy slander.

I'm saying if they lose, there is one quarterback out there that Kyle Shanahan is in love with. Like wants to marry Kirk Cousins. Yes, he's a free agent.

I think that ship is do I like Brock Purdy?

We've been pretty consistent on this show starting like week two or three this year. It's pretty early where he said Brock Purdy is just playing good football. You can say he's a good quarterback. It's okay to say that. You don't have to say that. He's an elite, like Patrick Mahomes guy that will carry a team to a Super bowl on his own. But he's playing the game really well right now. And no, I don't think he's a bad quarterback at all. I think the 49 ers can win this game for sure.

I do. I think the game is going to come down to two things. Number one, how does the 49 ers defense handle the Chiefs offense from the standpoint of can they dominate the matchups. They're supposed to win because on paper, the 49 ers are supposed to dominate the two tackles that the Chiefs have. So Bosa and Chase Young are supposed to have a field day. That's number one. Number two, how do you take away Travis Kelsey? I think if the 49 is going to win, that's going to be the formula from a defensive standpoint. If you tell me the Chiefs win the game, then Travis Kelsey has a day and there's got to be one more guy. Like, there's got to be an x factor. Somebody's got to help Mahomes and Kelsey. So is that MBS? Is that Rashid rice? Is that gray? Is that Watson? Like, somebody's got to make a play other than Kelsey. I think for the Chiefs to win this game, because if you're saying, friend, you got to go into this game saying, if we lose the Super bowl, we're going to lose because somebody not named Travis Kelsey beat me.

So I don't know how they do that, but they got to come up with a plan. That way 87 doesn't beat them.

I think the name might be. You didn't name it, but it might be Pacheco because you saw what the, saw what the Lions were able to do in terms of running the football against the Niners. And Pacheco, he's been awesome. Like, he is the best running back that Patrick Mahomes has had, which kind of gets lost in the shuffle because Patrick Mahomes'story is he's finally got a defense, but Pacheco might be the guy.

Yeah, man. By the way, Pacheco runs. Like, I envision you waking up on a Saturday morning going to get. Like, that's how hard I envision you leaving the house, running toward the local donut stand every Saturday morning. The way he runs, like he runs angry.

Yeah. You're not wrong.

He's fun to watch. The other thing I am looking at is the kicking situation. We're talking about not trusting a kicker. I think the Chiefs have a much better kicker back in October. Watching Moody, you could see he missed a couple of kicks and even his makes, a lot of them are like very by the narrowest of margins. He's a little shaky and I would.

Not trust a little.

Yeah, he's a lot shaky, especially in the playoffs. But this whole season, he's been a very shaky kicker and he's gotten away with a lot of it. But I keep waiting for it to bite them in the ass and to actually affect the outcome of a game in the playoffs. He's gotten away with it, but, yeah, I'm not totally confident in that part of the game.

Okay. So if we're going to do it this way, we're going to say kicker advantage, Chiefs. Got you. Defense advantage, Chiefs.

Right.

The Chiefs have the better defense. Receivers. Receivers. Who would you.

49 ers. Is that a serious question?

Easy.

Wait, is Cadarius Tony playing? Because that might affect it.

Does it matter? Offensive line. 49 ers.

Yeah. Chiefs offensive lines played very well, though.

They have but the tackles.

Patrick Mahomes didn't get sacked till the first time he got sacked in the playoffs was what, the third quarter of that Ravens game. They've been underrated.

Very good quarterback.

Chiefs probably Chiefs.

And then running back. 49 ers.

49 ers. Tight end.

I'm going to favor Kelsey, but I mean, that's a pick them. Yeah, to be honest with you.

Kittles dog. Kittles a dog. All right, so booger, last question. Rowback question. Rho back, promo code, take 20% off your first purchase. Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Promo code, take go right now. Rowback.com all right, so is your official pick. Can we get your official pick? Is it Chiefs?

No. As much as I think the Chiefs are phenomenal and Patrick Mahomes, Andy Reid and Kelsey, almost unbeatable, this is kind of a heart pick. Like, I've been knowing John Lynch a long time. I played with him. We won a Super bowl. He's been knocking on the door. He's a Super bowl champion as a player. He's in the hall of Fame. He gets an opportunity to be a Super bowl champion as a general manager. And I just think there's a certain thing to say about it being your time. I just think it's the 49 ers time. Like, how many times are they going to knock on this door and knock on this door? It was, we were one throwaway against the Chiefs last time with Jimmy Garoppolo. If we would have had a healthy Brock purdy last year, at some point, it's got to be your time. They're healthy. The defense, I think it's good enough. Brock Purdy has been playing outstanding. I just think it's their time right now. So I'm picking the 49 ers.

I like it.

Booger.

I think I am, too. I've crunched the numbers. I'm going with Mahomes. I think me and you together, Booger, we can stop Patrick Mahomes. We're the ones.

There's absolutely no question about it.

All right. Well, Booger, thank you as always. You're the best, man. We love having you on. Are you going to Vegas?

Absolutely. I'll get to Vegas midweek next week and got a lot of food spots that I'm already looking forward to hitting. The game will be great. Looking forward to seeing the halftime show with Usher? Yeah, it should be a good week. Are you guys going to be in Vegas?

Yeah, we'll be there. We got to get together. We got to get together.

No question. Let's connect offline. And if we don't do anything but have a coffee or just have a big group hug, let's do it.

Okay. Sounds good. Booger. Love that. All right. Thanks so much, Boog.

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And now here's Stavi.

And now for something completely different. Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, it's Stavi, baby. Stavros Halkius. This sucks because we were going to do this interview in Vegas in person. It was all planned for that, but we figured we still should have them on for 20 minutes. Yeah, dude, you fucked up. Your team fucked up. Your team should be playing in the Super bowl and they fucked up.

I fucking know, dude. Is this any way to start a man who's grieving? Is this a way to treat me right off the fucking bat?

Yeah.

You don't think I fucking know that? Big cat fucking know it sucks dick. And that we fucked up. And that no team is ever that healthy in the fucking playoffs. Ever. And that we fuck. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God. It sucks dick.

So you're doing well. You're doing well.

I'm doing bad, dude.

My entire life has gone no joke. This has set me back, personally, a month, minimum. Emotionally, physically, I've been on a bender. Truly. I was sober. I've been getting fucked up all week. I'm good. I think this is the last. I have to just throw away the weed in my house. All the booze has been drank. I literally have gone back into getting fucked up. Getting high in the morning, ordering like $400 worth of seamless throughout the day just for me and the team. It's like a crack den. In this fucking. I'm in Baltimore. There's shit everywhere. I was setting up a new house. I bought a fucking sauna, I bought a treadmill. I haven't exercised. My life has plummeted, bro. If I didn't, shit's going so bad. And thank God I have to go work this weekend. Thank God my depression cave has been so bad that going back on the road will be healthier for me. I have one weekend on the road just being on the road. I'm like, thank God I can only do so much damage in a city. I don't really know. I'm just fucked, dude. This sucks. I'm so depressed.

So much dick.

You think you would have drank more.

Beer and more liquor and ate worse food on Super bowl week, or is, like, your depression week way worse for your body than that?

See, that's the thing. I was kidding myself because I've gotten fat as shit this year, and I'm like, damn, I need to do, like, a little health sabatical.

Yeah, you were jacked up in 2020.

And part of my thinking was, like, the only small silver lining is at least because the Super bowl is going to be so fun, you motherfucker is going to be there. So many friends just go to the Super bowl. It's in Vegas. I was going to do a show. My friends Segura and Bert are fucking doing a show. I was going to hop on there. They're just going to be awesome. There's going to be so much shit. And I was like, well, at least I won't fuck my body up and I'll just be at home. I promise you, I've done more damage in four days than I would have done in Vegas. Just being sad, not having any fun, and it's not even good. It's like I've been eating the way when somebody gets fat for a roll, I've been leaving ice cream out and drinking it. You know what mean? Like, it's not even.

I've been.

You know what a snack I had yesterday because I ate all the desserts. I just put butter on fucking. I put butter on crackers and slathered, like, syrup. I'm in fucking fat crackhead mode, dude, where I'm just like. I'm a semi from ripping the copper wire out of my house for fucking chicken wings. I'm fucked, dude. I didn't think I'd be this sad. And I'm sadder than I've been in years. That was such a fucking brutal loss. It felt bad the whole fucking time. I'm in the stadium, right? Like, we're there and it was like the first half of Houston felt a little fucked. And then the second half was one of the best moments of my life. Like, just how Lamar came, it just. What was so almost worse about that is it was tantalizing the whole fucking time, right? It was like, we're not even at the very. Even after Zay fumbled, which no shot, zay played fucking great. Nobody should be mad at him. That's a fucking tough play. Whatever, right? Even after zay fumbles and it's like, okay, we're fucked after that first initial. Which, by the way, that was like, you want to talk about the worst 10 seconds of my life?

It's like that going from, we just scored a touchdown on a sick drive. Finally we're cooking to the fucking chiefs. These cocksuckers. That's how much, like, the illuminati is on their side. They get the touchback the next week. A weird thing happens to them and they just get the same fucking thing the next week. How the fuck is that fair? They don't have to suffer a fucking. They only suffered one week, a weird touchback and they didn't fucking lose. I fucking hate the chiefs so much, dude. And that's the other thing. It had to be the Chiefs. It's Buffalo. If it's Buffalo, whatever those fucking fans, they deserve, it would have hurt, but I wouldn't have wanted to kill myself. I wouldn't be thinking like, oh, fucking a bunch of commercial act. This is the most psyop, most fucking fixed shit of all time. Even though we suck, look, our offense sucked be. I don't know if you guys can tell. I didn't prepare at all for this. I haven't listened to sports media. I haven't done anything. I've been in my cave being fucking pissed. But our offense sucked dick. I understand that tod monkey.

I don't know what the fuck happened. What the fuck. Why the fuck we were just doing all these fucking little screen passes and shit. And why the fuck we didn't try running it down their throats? And even if we had run the, like, if we, even if we had run the caveman, Greg Roman fucking four running back offense, we still. We probably would have fucking won that game. What the fuck happened? Fuck it. Our offense got like, scared. I don't know why the fuck we didn't just try and run it down their fucking throats. At least a little bit, but it's still fixed. It is also still fixed. That ref can suck my dick. Those personal fucking. The taunting on Zay. Fucking Travis Kelsey, that fucking cocksucker getting anything he wanted, right? God forbid that. God forbid anything ever gets fucking whistled on. We. It was fucking crazy, dude. It was fucking.

I I text you after the game. I do take a little bit of blame because I put on the purple camos, and it feels like that was not a great sign.

And can I say something? You got the off brand ones.

Well, it got sent to me. It got sent.

You didn't get the right ones.

I did notice the right armor. Yeah. The ones big cat were wearing. It was, like, darker. Like, black was the primary color almost.

It's like sending somebody in Iraq with faulty body armor. Dude, you didn't have the right fucking stuff.

And we got fucked because Donald Rumsfeld. I wasn't ready for it. So we were texting throughout the game, and we texted after. And you said, you're going full conspiracy mode on what? What's the conspiracy here? Other than Taylor Swift in the wish?

Again, I didn't prepare because I wanted this to be fully just, like, from the heart, but just, look, it just feels like. Well, first of all, Warren Sharp, you guys used to have him on all the time. You put that thing out about this ref, how he's the only motherfucker. Time. The only time a home field has a disadvantage in whistles is when they put this guy on the fucking field, and it's like, oh, what a fucking coincidence. Who gets fucking assigned to this, right?

Yep.

And. And it's good, by the way, that we finally. I will say what's cool about Warren Sharp is that we finally weaponized autism fully to football. It feels like it took too long, but, like, yeah, of course these are the guys you should be doing. So I respected that. But then it was just like, all these fucking calls, dude. I haven't gone back. I can't watch any tape. I can't do anything. But the taunting comes to mind.

Likely you weren't watching the broadcast, but it was a terrible throw. Lamar deserves all the blame for that. But on the broadcast, the announcer, the booth ref, was like, as you can see, the contact comes in after the ball, and they show the replay. And he literally tackled them before the ball.

Yeah, dude, it was so fucked. And I'm sure there's. I just really legitimately feel that it was the kind of thing where the NFL just did everything that was like, look, we're not going to outright. You can't outright fix anything. Wink, wink. But no, one's going to be mad if a couple calls go one way or the other. And I just feel like that pass interference was bullshit. The taunting was bullshit. We had a lot of dog shit fucking calls, a lot of roughing the passers that I think were fucking. There's a couple of roughing the passers that I thought were bullshit, whatever. And look, it was just the NFL had a lot of fucking money to make from a purely market share. We would have cost the NFL so much money. It would have been awesome. It would have been fucking sick. And also it would have been sick to just like the people on the fucking know State Farm doesn't get bang for their buck because they're cocksucking. Their whole crew doesn't get to be in the Super bowl, right? Like everybody who put all their fucking money in Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelsey.

And we would have delayed Travis Kelsey's inevitable Amazon prime fucking direct to Amazon action movie career that that fucking prick is clearly trying to set up. Doesn't even fucking focus on football, gets a fake relationship, gets the vaccine so the Illuminati give him a fucking billionaire girlfriend so he could be in fucking movies, has his fucking focus on football all fucking week, all year. The team sucks dick. The team sucks fucking dick. And then the NFL just fixes it so they can fucking go. There's a better storyline. They get fucking little girls to buy Stanley cup fucking chief gear.

Now.

Now we got fucking Travis Kelsey on Stanley Cups in third grade. Fucking congratulations, Roger Goodell. You kind. We did. We did what we need to do. We couldn't score more than ten fucking points. That fumble too, just will haunt me. And Zay's the man. It's just like, just put that touchdown in. It was fucking brutal. It was fucking brutal, dude.

It's going Well.

I don't want to blame you because obviously you've been a Ravens fan. You've been long suffering. Before the game, Justin Tucker's warming up. Travis Kelsey and Mahomes start to bully him, start to shove him around, get in his head. You were at the stadium. Why didn't you stop Travis Kelsey?

You know what? Hand up. That's on. See, I was on the other side of the field. If I had seen that those fucking thugs accosted the goat, a man in his home stadium. Hey, you wanted to play at home, you fucking chiefs maybe fucking don't podcast podcasting for us, you piece of shit. That's another problem I have with the Kelsey. Now they're coming on my fucking corner. They get to be fucking hot famous. The other one has a family. They've got fucking Super Bowls. I don't even get podcasting. I have to lose to the team that's trying to take the fucking food off my family's table. Those fucking cocksuckers. I came from the podcasting sewers. I came from Cometown, and they get to just have the most famous sports podcast in the world. God, I fucking hate that team so much. If they win, I'm going to be so pissed. They probably will. They probably fucking will. Yeah. I should have fucking honestly pfd if I had known, I honestly maybe should have even just strapped a bomb to myself and hugged. I should have just gone fucking. I should have just taken one for the team and just strapped a fucking vest on and just fucking hugged Travis Kelsey and just fucking whispered into his ear, this is for podcasting, you piece of shit.

This is for thinking you could do what I do, and then we fucking both explode. And then the Ravens win, hopefully.

So are you going to watch the Super bowl?

No. Fuck. I'm not watching that fucking thought. That's the other in the fucking. I'm in the stadium, right? And obviously I want to kill myself. It's one of the worst moments I've ever felt in my life. Seeing those fucking pieces of shit set up the fucking stage on MNT bank felt horrible. I'm sitting in the suite that I was in. I was outside the whole time, but I'm sitting inside now wanting to kill myself, eating just buffalo chicken egg rolls that have been under a heat lamp for five, 6 hours. At that point, I'm just, like, starting to numb myself with whatever dog shit I can find. And I'm watching the game, and at least the second game is like, all right, if the Lions were in it, it's like, all right. I can root for a team that it's a good story. They haven't done anything. Fuck, the 49 ers could suck my dick also. Whatever. I just wanted the Lions to win. I'm like, all right, if they win, that's one thing, and they're up big time. And then it takes a fucking hour to get out of a stadium in traffic. I couldn't pull up the NFL app on my phone.

I was too hurt to even watch football on my phone in the car. I'm just staring blankly, like, thinking that I have to make a Ronnie video, even though I'd rather kill myself in that moment. And as soon as I get home, this Niners won. I couldn't even have one nice thing to root for and keep me. Now I guess I do have to root for the Niners, their soders team. Whatever. I guess they haven't won shit in a while, but it's just not the same. The Lions would have been fun anyway. Whatever, dude. I can't watch the fucking Super bowl.

No.

And here's the thing that's going to make you guys want to hear something fucked up. And by the way, happy birthday, boys. You want to hear something fucked up? Do you know when my 35th birthday is?

Oh, is it Super Bowl Sunday, February 11? Oh, God.

I'm going to watch the kids win on my fucking birthday. No, I'm not fucking doing that, dude. Yeah, and here's what's fucked up. I was making deals with God, right? I was like, okay, super bowl is on my 35th birthday. This year in my life has been the weirdest year ever where it's like I just, by accident, kind of got famous. I still don't really understand what happened. And I was like, all right. Some kind of, like, gypsy curse on my family gave us one awesome year, and then the second I turned 35, it's over. And I just thought, just let me get the fucking birthday. Let me get the Super bowl out of this. Take it all away. Take my fucking cancel me, take it all, foreclose on my home. But let me just get to this fucking. Let me have one more beautiful moment on my 35th birthday. And I started thinking like, yeah, something. And don't get me wrong, I was waiting for bad shit to start happening to me, but I just felt like there was a poetic thing of like, hey, one good year of my life, and we get the Super bowl, and then it could go to shit from there.

But no, God had to remind me, there's nothing special about you, you fat piece of shit. You just got lucky with fucking crowd work clips. Life is pain. No one deserves anything. No one gets to enjoy anything except the puppet masters, who have appointed the Kansas City chiefs the fucking Super bowl champions for the rest of their lives.

It might have saved your life, though, like, having a birthday in Vegas on Sunday after the Ravens win.

I put Stavi surviving at, like, I.

Don'T know, plus 300.

It would have been bad, bro, for sure. I would have done whatever it takes to get to actually celebrate with the Ravens. I was slowly meeting. It was so fucked up because I felt like I was meeting guys on the team, people in the organization. I felt like it was possible to do that. And, yes, you're right, I would have gotten more fucked up than I've been in years. I would have spent God knows how much money on drugs, dick pills, and, like, high end Vegas prostitutes to celebrate. It would have been a really fucked up scene, but I wanted it PF.

Yeah, it would have been fun.

They took money out. I was going to charge people 100 grand for Ronnie appearances at the Super bowl.

You kidding me?

I was about to get rich, dude. I was about to fucking cash in.

Can I give you some good news? Because we had Joe Flacco on the show a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah.

We brought you up, and he's a big fan. He's been watching your shit. He wants to meet you, wants to hang out.

Hell, yeah. That's awesome. That does feel good. And I can't wait to hang out with Joe. I'm just still fucking mourning this. Help. It'll help for sure. Hang out with Joe for sure. But it's like, even in the grand scheme of this fucking team, it's like, joe's a great example where it's like, what I love about the Ravens, what's been awesome about being a Ravens fan, is like, we're that team where it's like, whenever you're talking about the best teams, right, we don't immediately come to mind, and then you're like, well, don't forget about Baltimore. And then you're like, they win. About every fucking generation, we've spoiled a bunch of big. We fucked the Patriots up a couple times. We were spoiler for them, and this just felt perfect, dude. This felt like, here comes our Super bowl. For this, we can then anything. The rest of Lamar's career is cake. All the expectations are gone. We get to play spoiler to the fucking Chiefs again. We get to play spoiler to the dynasty of this generation. I wanted Lamar to have a win over fucking Patrick mahomes so fucking bad. And then it's like, everyone's healthy.

I don't even want to talk. I got the Mike McDonald notification. I almost started crying again when I fucking saw that. He's on the play for the coaching. The Seahawks. They're going to poach our fucking coaching staff. I haven't looked at the cap that's probably going to make. I assume it's bad, but I don't know. This felt right. This felt like just how that Flacco run was just felt beautiful. And it was a culmination. Ray Lewis's last year, Ed Reed gets one. Flacco plays out of his fucking mind, and we get one. And then fucking Pedro, a hundred billion dollars after that, when I don't give a fuck. That's what this was going to feel like. Hey, if we lose our awesome coaches, they're gone. If we lose some players because they have to go get paid, I get it. But now all of that happens for nothing. All of that fucking happens. And next year, you're the number one. You're a top seed. Your schedule is going to be fucking harder. That cocksucker Joe Burrow is going to be fucking back. At least the Browns have sex. Criminal. At least the Browns can't sign Joe Flacco again to surprisingly lead them.

At least the Browns have to fucking have Deshaun's bitch ass over there. But the Steelers still suck. That's going to feel good if they get a quarterback in this draft, if things start going good for the Steelers and Browns, too, though. I don't know, man. This just felt right. This felt like the fucking year. Fuck, dude.

All right, well, stop. This has been great. Does it at least feel like this has been therapeutic? Do you at least feel like you've gotten a little out? Because I'm happy you didn't consume any media and you haven't done anything? Because I feel like we got basically, like, post game thoughts from you four days later.

I have just been in, like, a cooler. I've been preserving these thoughts with so many edibles and so many fucking bud lights that I'm just like that. It's just like. And chinese food. I'm packed. This is basically right after the game. It does feel a little therapeutic. I have to start my life over. I have to get back. I have no more weed. I think I have to cook my own meals for the time being. Dude, I was two weeks clean on night ice cream and I relapsed big time, bro. I have to kick that tonight. No more night ice cream. It does actually feel. This felt like. All right, I got it out and I can live my life. But, God, I wanted to be there. I wanted to be in Vegas so bad. It's going to be fucking awesome. We would have such a good time.

We would have had fun together.

Anyway.

All right. Anyway, well, stop. Boys, thank you so much. This was hilarious. I feel like therapy. Let's put one good day on the time. Listen, you're not going to kick night ice cream just like that. It's just one day in front of another. In front of another. And you're going to get back.

Yeah, you're right, brother. All right.

Thanks, boys.

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Okay, fire fest of the week time. Before we do that, though, the baseball video is finally out on all platforms. Go watch it. Go watch it. It is pFt. Pitching against the UIC flames. I caught Jake, Hank, and Max in the outfield. We were able to afford 90 seconds of Joe Buck. The rest of the broadcast is done by our great friend Nick Tarani, who is a great broadcaster. So go check it out. Very fun video.

I watched it earlier today and Nick is very funny, but Jerry is awesome. Jerry has the umpire. He was born. It's a part he was born to play. His strike calls are legendary.

Jerry was great as the umpire.

Yes, he was.

Yeah.

And there are allegations that I may or may not have used spider tack. I can't comment on that right now. Jerry, I think, called a fair game for the most part, and he didn't catch me using spider tack. So even if I did use it, I got away with it.

I was told that there might have been some cuts, specifically me breathing heavy into the mic.

False.

Oh, you left them in.

Did not leave them in. There were cuts of PFT breathing.

Oh, let's go. So it wasn't me.

I was getting gassed up there.

I was told that it was me.

Like two days after I did the pitching thing, my arm was sore, my legs were sore. I was thrown off the mound. I haven't thrown a baseball in years. Everything was sore. I got through it with just grit, determination, a little bit of nicotine and a little bit of cheating and some good play from my guys out in the field. So love it. It's a good video, I think.

Yeah, it's fun.

Everyone's micked up, too, so it's like a little bit of Nick commentary and then a lot of, like, breathing.

Heavy breathing.

There's a little bit of breathing heavy.

I was gas.

Gary, big cat.

I haven't seen it, but if my mic's in there, I'm pretty sure my only line was just don't hit it to me. Don't hit it.

Yeah, that was commented on.

Yeah.

That was the only thing Hank said.

Don't hit it to me. By the way, Jim Harbaugh did his introductory press conference. I just want to play one clip. I have no idea what he said in it, but the caption is, don't let the powder blues fool you. So this probably is going to be a good Jim quote. That's where we are right now, humble and hungry and we're going to respect all our opponents and we're going to strive that. We're going to earn their respect and we're going to earn our winning. Tough team, a resilient team, a relentless team, physical team. This is what I wanted. We're going to aspire to be don't let the powder blues fool you. I like that. Good. Aspire to do fuck good. That's so bad. When he says physical, he wants to just beat someone up.

He takes a deep breath and says, yeah, physical. It's like a Dan Quinn line almost.

Yeah. Fuck. All right, hank. Firefest.

Yeah. We were here late on Sunday doing the show. I haven't been having trouble sleeping. I got a show coming up Tuesday. Not sure if I've mentioned that, but we were here late, and I've had a tough time falling asleep, so I slept for, like, 2 hours. We had a three hour commercial shoot here Monday morning, first thing, 08:00 a.m. So I was coming off like two or 3 hours of sleep. Got here, asked the director what exactly the shoot is, and they gave me all of us. They're like, all right, take your shirt off. Here's a two inch spandex shorts that you have to wear.

I think calling it spandex, by the way, is a little bit generous. It was pretty much like a pantyhose.

I could see the head of my cock.

Yeah. The veins were visible.

Yeah.

And we just had to stand around basically naked in the cold.

2 hours. I was not cold at all.

I was very cold.

Yeah, no, I'm just that small.

I didn't look.

That sucked. Did you guys not look?

There were a couple of shots.

They told me to look.

Yeah, they had to look.

There were a couple of shots where they told us we had to look at each other's penises. And we discussed it. We're like, hey, we're not going to look because we weren't really hanging low and lazy at the time. As we mentioned, it was cold in the room, it was early, and I made a concerted effort not to look, but it sounds like big cat might have taken a peek.

I saw a little. What did you see?

Not much.

Okay, well, I was going to do a compliment. PFD's got some good sized balls. I do. Yeah, I saw them.

They call them big meaty clappers.

Yeah. What the fuck, Hank?

They told me, they're like, why did you look? We all were looking right in front of. All right, now, that's such a lie.

They told me, you got to look in front.

No, you got to look.

Give us your honest assessment.

I wasn't there.

Tell the listeners what you thought of being big cat's penises.

I mean, again, not much, but I was like, damn, big cat's probably bigger than me. Fuck.

Oh, that is a fuck. I ain't got anything.

But it was cold.

It was cold. You're right. It was cold. Very cold. It was cold. We got people just peeking in while we're talking about our dick sizes.

That's okay.

Oh, they heard. Those are some clients. It's all right. It's very small.

It was for.

Listen, you know, it gets scared of my dick. It's not intimidating enough to be like, whoa, I've had that thing away. I think I'd just get laughed if I was like a flasher. They'd just be like, oh, that's cute.

There was a girl that I dated at one point that referred to it as boyfriend.

Don'T.

It sounds like the biggest backhanded compliment of all time.

Yeah, that is.

Yeah. Boyfriend Dick.

White Sox Dave just popped his head into pick out, and I were in a meeting with some other people yesterday. Like, six people in the room, clearly meeting. Dave ran up to the window, looked at me, and mouthed. Was like, what? He mouthed, he said, are you in a meeting? And I looked around. I was like, yes. And then he walked away for 2 seconds, came back and was like, basically called me out of the meeting. And then I walked out. He's like, sorry, I didn't want to interrupt. I didn't want to interrupt. You have to come out. We're doing handballs. Like, I had to leave at 345. Just letting you know.

That was it. That's it. I mean, White Sox Dave is such a jack. Could have just texted me that on Tuesday when we had pause here and we gave the big check from Stella. Blue coffee. We're playing with the puppies, giving the big check. They asked me how Stella's doing, and White Sox Dave was just like, oh, did you get Stella from paws? I was, yeah, dude, that's, that's what this whole thing just, he's the best. He's the best. I love White Sox Dave. All right. Pft, yeah.

It has been a very long week. I can't even remember all the stuff that we did, but part of my week has been having the pleasure of babysitting Billy football, who came to the Chicago office, which has been everything that I remember being and maybe a little bit more. He was late on Tuesday morning, showing up now, to his credit, he stayed. I guess that was, yeah.

So he was late on Tuesday, too.

Well, he was on time on Tuesday, but then at night, we did Jerry after dark. And Billy, to his credit, big cat called and was like, we need help finding all these fucking needles in this haystack. Billy answered the phone and said, I'm there. And just showed up and helped, I guess.

And then didn't really.

Yeah, he found a needle. He found a needle. So we were all up a little bit late on Tuesday night, right? Get to the office on Wednesday morning, have an early thing at, like, 10:00 a.m. We're supposed to be there for. And I get a text from Billy being like, hey, I'm going to be there before 1030 at some point.

That's a good way to phrase.

I was like, okay, by the way, the time that he sent me that text, 1023.

Okay.

And he says, I'm going to be there before 1030.

That's great.

It's great.

And then he got there at 1030. So that was a fucking lie. So he showed up, and he was like, sorry, dude. Sorry I'm late. I was up until, like, 04:30 a.m. Getting into a rivalry with somebody about cheetahs.

No.

He goes, sorry. I was up. I was cleaning up the hay. And then, like, 20 minutes later, he was like, actually, I was getting into a fight with somebody about Cheetahs.

Yeah.

Because first it was. I was doing work, and then it slowly came out. I was getting to a fight with somebody about Cheetah.

So I just got a lot of Billy football this week and another fire fest. Is that Hank Lockwood doing stand up last night? He's really fucking funny. Like, Hank is by the pay per view. Hank is so. Hank is so fucking good at stand up comedy. It's not fair. I was sitting next to comedians, and they were like, this isn't his first time, right? And I was like, he's never done this before. And he was getting applause. He was getting laughs, tears. He was actually really good. Like, I was proud of Hank. You were good, Hank.

This is gaslighting.

I've been telling the entire office how good you were.

All I know is I caught Max and Pft having a conversation about me, and I turned the corner. And then the second that Pft saw me, he goes, we'll talk about later. We'll talk about it later. We'll talk about later. So that didn't make me feel good.

Telling everyone that you were really good.

This is later.

Because you were. I didn't want to say that to your face, but you were very, very good. And people should have pay per views. No, they should have very high expectations.

Take PFG's word for it.

Do not go to slash PPV.

Thank you, Jim.

And buy it. Not worth it.

Not worth it.

Definitely not.

Okay. My fire fest is we did have a very long week we had the shoot where everyone looked, where Hank looked at both of our. What?

Continue.

No, go ahead.

No, it's part of it. I think you're going to get to it.

We looked for needles in a haystack for 6 hours.

We got hay fever.

We got hay fever. I still have not fully recovered because I went to sleep at like, I don't know, 03:00 a.m. And got up at 630. That sucked. We played handball.

My question was going to be, after playing handball, I play with pros. Do you still believe your take about olympics?

I believe it even more.

Same.

Yeah, I believe it even more. Josh Allen could be the best handball player in the world right now.

I was thinking about it because the argument with soccer is like, if our best athletes played soccer, you don't even just quarterbacks.

Yes.

You could even have bad, unmobile quarterbacks.

Imagine trying to stop Lamar. Yeah, it can't.

CJ Stroud.

Well, maybe if they had the playoffs.

You could just take quarterbacks and they would win a goal.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think like two weeks of a very fun sport.

The guys who came out were so, so nice. JD especially, he was a great ambassador of the game. Explained the whole game to us. Like, so much fun. They were from Columbus, right?

They were from all over. Yeah, they took work off.

They were the coolest dudes. So much fun. Like, they showed us the game. I love the game. I want to play the game. But, and to their credit, I brought it up to them and they said that it was more. The euros get upset about that because I was like, you guys don't think, like, Patrick Mahomes. Josh Allen would be awesome at this. They're like, yeah, of course. They, they totally, they were normal guys who totally understood. And it's the Euros. So we got to get Josh Allen and Patrick Holmes to beat the Euros. I think it can happen for America. Yes. But my fire fest goes into that little gap there where we were up till two in the morning, which, needles in a haystack was one of the most difficult things we've done, but I found myself missing it because it was just guys bonding in the most ridiculous setting.

Yeah, I do miss the hay.

Yeah, a little bit. But anyway, PFD's birthday on Wednesday, I woke up and I tried to send him a happy birthday tweet and I completely phrased it wrong and I feel really bad about, oh, yeah, happy birthday to my partner in crime. PFt. He makes work fun every day and makes me look good just sitting next to him. Wouldn't want to do a show with anyone else. Also, it's Stuart Finer's birthday from slips and got, I got a few tags in that.

Yeah. And I didn't read it the wrong way. And then everybody started replying to. And I was like, oh yeah, I was. Catches called me ugly.

I was trying to say that being with PFT makes me better, like a funnier person.

I know what you meant.

And then it came across as like, I like sitting next to him because I look better.

No, listen, I've gotten stuff like that before I phrased it wrong, you basically said like, oh no, I love that. It's good boyfriend dick.

Yeah, right, exactly. So my bad on that. But you understood what I was.

I understood.

But then, yeah, people started replying, lying and they're like, oh, that's fucked up to say. I was like, wait, what? I do.

Yeah, no, it was very nice. And I speak for big cat too. And I say thank you to everybody that reached out. Celebrating your birthday as a 39 year old male is a little bit weird, which is why we don't really talk about that much on the show.

Never talk about it, but never do like streams or anything. Needles in haystack.

It did mean a lot to me and I know it meant a lot to big cat. All the people that reached out and said happy birthday. So we do love you guys.

Yes. We got to do something big.

Yeah. Edward, 40 hands.

Yeah. And then try to find some needles.

Core is light.

40. I would do the needles in the haystack again.

40 needles.

It was fun.

The only bad part about it was the hay fever that we got because I woke up the next day and I felt worse when I woke up, probably because of lack of sleep and also just inhaling all that dust. You blow your nose and it's black. Shout out to farmers, by the way, I know we have a lot of farmers that listen to this podcast. Shout out to you guys.

They were mad.

Oh, so mad.

There's a full recap video viva tv and everyone was calling them. What were they calling? Bales of hay.

Yeah, barrels of hay. Shout out Paige.

Calling them barrels of hay. And there was a lot of farmers mad like, you fucking city fucks. Yeah, bales.

We dispose of the hay in our alley, which we have like a little strip of grass and whatever.

You can dispose of hay, you just put it outside.

Put it outside. But we put it in a big mound. And then we had a couple of people hit me up, which is a very funny how niche and unique this complaint is they're like, hopefully next time these guys do it, they'll learn that you just don't throw it in a big pile. I was like, okay, my bad. I had no idea.

What do they want us to do?

I guess either donate it, like Billy was saying, to a horse charity.

Yeah, Billy was looking for a horse shelter to give it to.

Also, I guess you're not supposed to keep it in a big pile because rats will start living in it. That kind of makes sense.

That part makes sense. Paige told me she was putting it back there so that we could build a paintball arena for.

Are we spread it out already? And they said, which also makes sense is, like, it's a fire hazard. If you said big mound of hay.

Yeah, it does make sense.

Yeah. We're not the smartest. Okay, Jake, finish us off. Yeah.

First off, Hank, I want to apologize for screwing up the backup of the bonk list.

That's all right.

Second of all, I want to say.

We'Ll get him next year, but didn't.

Sound like you accepted the apology.

Backup boy is a very funny name. I would laugh every time you said that. Do you want me to back you up this year?

Disown everything?

Do you want him to back you up?

Official backup boy.

You want to see Jake, back it up.

I don't want to say this in front of you guys.

What?

Don't take your headphones off.

Okay.

Jake, you should make your own list, and then when it gets close to doing the bonk list, I'll just take that list.

Okay.

Hank's doing less.

No, no.

Yes, I heard it all. Yes.

Back me up.

No, but Hank, he's being a good director. He's managing.

That's true teamwork.

It's called delegating responsibility.

Independent oversight.

Yeah, exactly. You're being a leader of men.

We're going to have the same ones, but just in case, we can compare notes beforehand.

But just a heads up, it's not going to have January of 2024.

Okay, that's fine. By the way, one last thing about.

None of us did anything horny.

It wouldn't be shocking. It probably doesn't shock anyone that Billy got in screaming matches on the basketball courts within the first hour of being here. Yes.

We were taping and sitting in the studio and just heard Billy yelling about, no, the score is wrong.

Yeah, we were playing sevens, too, which is just a three point shooting game. And he bricked, like, 15 in a row. And he's like, just got to get used to these rims. Well, it's a basketball rim.

I miss Billy. I miss him.

Three days was good.

Yeah.

It was great to be reunited.

Yeah.

All right, Jake, go ahead. Yeah.

So I botched the birthday cake presentation. I put out the lit candles right outside, and Max saved me from lighting this office on fire because by the time I was about to present, the candles were basically out.

That would not have lit the office on fire. It would have just gone out in the cake.

Correct.

Got it. But it could have. No, I actually think that might be the safest place to light candles is in a birthday cake. Oh.

So it would have been fine.

Where would they have burned to?

The wax would have just melted down into the cake.

Into the cake.

My additional fire fest is. I should have pushed that cake.

I was actually kind of upset.

I would have felt bad about it.

No, I wouldn't have.

Yeah.

My additional. Additional fire fest is I screwed up the Joe buck script. We talked about this beforehand. I meant to throw a jab at every little person.

Oh, yeah, Hank. Jake said that he threw a jab at every person his jab was. And there's Jake Marsh, who someday wants to take my job in the booth. That's not a.

Well, I've. Okay, I saw it the wrong way. I'm an idiot.

That's the opposite of a jab.

Yeah, I'm an idiot. Screw me.

It was just funny watching it.

Bad guy.

I think it was good.

Jake. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat yourself up. All right, numbers.

18, 39, 20. Today's day.

Three.

Actually, 40.

Someone's getting it today.

I'll go 39. Three. Someone's. 99, 21.

Someone's getting it today.

What's your number, Max?

2040.

Like a melody in my head.

28. 28. What's your number, Matt?

20.

Oh, that's not even close.

It's kind of close.

Should we do another?

I got one of them.

You want to do one more? Yeah.

Oh, we have to pre tape next week.

Oh, yeah, we do. And we have to ask every guest that comes on. Unless. Wait, did we do.

Shane will be here.

I think we've already done one for next week.

What?

Haven't we?

No.

Oh, I don't think so.

Let's just do one more right here.

Okay.

All right, this one counts.

40.

71. I'm going back. 70, 118. What's everyone else's?

899. 29.

So good.

77. So close.

Love you guys.

I don't know why.

Today.

I'll be coming for your lover I'll be coming for love of rain.

Stay on me.

It's a better to be safe to.

Start it.

Make the baby take the time.