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[00:00:00]

Hey, buddy, this is Stephen Ché, and I'm here to tell you that since my Buccaneers won the Super Bowl, we got a special sale going on at the parcel store, get 10 percent off Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Super Bowl, Mersch with code. Hey, buddy, check out all the great Tom Brady and Buck Smirch or pick up a thank you Stephen J shirt while you're there at Staudt Basel Sports Dotcom.

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Today is part of my take. We have our good, good friend Brooks Koepka off his huge win this weekend at the Waste Management Open.

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We also have some Super Bowl cleanup, some show news, unfortunate show news. We have some hotsy cool thrown guys on ChiX Billies in Florida, but he's zooming in. We have the whole show. Get ready for life after football and it's brought to you by our friends at the cash app. Not only the safest place to send money to your friends. It's not is the easiest. It's the safest and it is the best. The cash app is the best app in the world because you can use the cash app to send money, receive money, do it all on the cash app.

[00:01:00]

You can buy Bitcoin, you can buy stocks, you can do everything you need with the cash app. That's how easy it is. And it links directly to your bank account. So you want to get paid through the cash app. You want to pay other people through the cash app. It's all there. It's all ready to go. So when you download the cash app, you put it in the code bar stool. You get ten dollars for free, ten dollars for free, ten dollars.

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The ASPCA with code bar stool. Please support the cash app. We love the cash app, so go download it right now. The cash app in the App Store or Google Play store today. And if you have a cash tag, go check out the cash app on Twitter, Instagram, twitch.

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They're giving away free money all the time to go do it with the cash. Cash up, cash up, cash. OK, let's go buy.

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Now, in the street violence, I know a lot of people hang out the washing and all the way out to higher ground.

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Do you like it? Yeah. Welcome to part of my take on it by the cash app.

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Go download it right now. Use code till you get ten dollars for free. Ten dollars to the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, February 10th, and I have coronavirus named.

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Oh, Paris, oh, thanks for coming out, covid. Yeah, so OK, so here is my so in in real talk, real quick real talk then we're going to will have fun with the show. I'm OK. It sucks now isolated in a hotel room and basically not leaving until I start testing. Negative. It was also, you know, we, we did everything. I wore a mask all the time. It just sucks. It is what it is.

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I didn't take it lightly. Wasn't like I haven't been to a bar in a fucking year. Plus I'm going to a restaurant. Any of that shit. I basically go to work and go home. So it happened. You probably I think some people kind of caught on to it because I just wasn't around. And also we're on Zoome, so we'll be on Zoome probably for the rest of this week. Here is my one silver lining that I thought of.

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If you remember around this time last year, a little bit later March, right before the march, before the tournament, I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus. Yeah, well, they didn't play March Madness and I didn't inject myself coronavirus.

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So I think that getting it is finally karma. And on top of that, it means that we officially will have a March Madness tournament this year.

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Yeah, you would have absolutely open yourself up for all sorts of hate if for some reason, March Madness got delayed. There were logistic errors related to coronavirus.

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If that happened and you had not gotten coronavirus yet, the calls for you to, like, go to a packed restaurant down in Florida with Billy and just start sucking face with every coed that you see like Morgan.

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Waller believes it actually had to bleep his name out would be would be astronomical. That's all that you'd hear. So, yes, I think in a weird way, it might portend good things that I do. I do hope that you're healthy. I hope that you make a full recovery. I feel like shit. I feel terrible.

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Yeah. I hope I'm not being rude. Just just in case you don't recover, would you want us to, like, dig up your body and cut your pinkie off and make your team make your pick your pinky team right now for next year? So we that we we know who to track it for.

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Oh OK. My pinky team for next year will be. Oh fuck. Well, is this this my pinky team if I'm debt, yeah, so I could take a different team if I'm. All right. Yeah.

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You know, what do you do?

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Do the Packers, if it's a Packers win the Super Bowl and if I die in the Packers, win the Super Bowl, cut my pinkie and throw it at Aaron Rodgers, face it, there's like zero point zero zero zero five percent chance that we have to do that.

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Yeah, I mean, look, we know this episode in the history of the show. We don't we have not taken we you know, we've had fun because we're a fun show and we're we're not trying to you know, we take the piss out of pretty much everything. But this does suck. I do feel like shit. It sucks that it happened. But it's a pandemic. We're not covid shaming, I'm sure. Do you think here's my one question.

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Do you think the people that hate us will like Shamy? Do you think they'll try to find a way? You think so? Oh, that's fucking bullshit.

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Like Bryson DeChambeau is going to have a highlight reel coming out in the next three days for sure.

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No, but I'm not like a twenty four year old kid who is like going to spring break are like going to Florida after he wins a fight against Jose Canseco and blacking out at a bar like him being irresponsible.

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I'm a fucking thirty six year old dad that went from work to home, work to home, and it was bound to happen if, you know, we had a couple of work trips that took us out there. And that's part I made the calculated risk. I knew what was going to happen if I had to leave my little bubble. I did it because I love my job and I wanted to keep working.

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And, you know, it sucks. Yeah.

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Actually, now is the most powerful time. I think that you can issue a clear statement telling people and remind them, wear a mask.

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Yeah, wear masks, wear masks, living masks. Let's just say this to you.

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Something real quick, no ad covid three weeks ago. And like I didn't want to talk about too much because.

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Oh, that's weird. I wonder how I got it.

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Yeah, you might have got it from me, but I like to look at Dick. I don't dude, I do you like in your you go near you they generally like.

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Shut up Billy. Muted I mean really beautiful Billy. Billy killing all of us would be one of those. It would be the ultimate.

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Like you get what you bargained for a moment that Billy just tried to go. He raised his hand. He said can I do some quick PR images, implicated him himself in giving me coronavirus. Thanks, dude.

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What? After I had some major chickens coming home to roost for us, for sure they get you.

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What do you want me to bring like an Xbox to your hotel room if you want to pass the time I bought a book. No big deal. I bought a book on my Bible. No, I bought a book on my phone book I read on my phone. I let everyone know if I can't read a fucking book stuck in a hotel in Manhattan for a week by myself doing literally not going anywhere, then I think that might just be it for me and it might just be the big short.

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Was it. And I was I'm walking off office.

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So so here's the thing. If big cats got it, obviously, Hank, me, Jake, are taking all the necessary precautions. That's why we're staying in our hotel or in our in our apartments as well. Billy's in a hotel room doing God knows what, but we're going to take it.

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We're getting tested all week long. But the chances of big cat having it, none of us having it pretty low.

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So, yeah, I probably just feeling sick, even though he does look like he is the ultimate twitch gamer right now. Like his. Yeah. Room with the blue light.

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You just need like you need neon, you need to rap like neon lights around normy and then just have him walking around the background to make it like a true twitch room. Yeah.

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If you have it, like if you contacted Jose Canseco, was he if you lost contact during the interview, I mean, at least he doesn't have he doesn't have any like preexisting breathing conditions that we need to be worried about, does he.

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Yeah. Listen, Jose Canseco, you now have been told I tested positive on Monday, but who knows? So you might want to take the picture. I don't think Jose Canseco respects covid. I don't think he respects anything in his life, scumbag.

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But he now knows the mask that he was wearing actually wasn't it wasn't a covered mask. That was just his sleep apnea device.

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Yes. Yes. So we are taking every precaution to, you know, a lot of people who were on different trips have been sent home to quarantine for the week. And, yeah, we'll be doing Zoom's till at least the very earliest would be day, but it probably won't even be probably be next week, Tuesday or something. So. All right. Should we talk about other things? And what if I do survive, which I plan on surviving?

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I will be saying I'm a covered survivor, just so it's clear. Yeah, I have one last question.

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So you still have your sense of taste, right? Yep. That's a bummer. That's a bummer.

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Because if you needed help, like going on your diet, your post Super Bowl diet, like, I wish I didn't have a sense of taste right now because get I've eaten salads two days in a row. My body has entirely rejected it. It ran through me like like I was a goose. It was bad. I wish I didn't have to eat this crap. Well, so here's the thing, I have a sense of taste, but I have zero appetite.

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I, I have a look at this. A big bag of pirates is all I've had in the last 48 hours. So every like three hours I'll just take a handful to see if I still have my sense of taste.

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And I guess what, right now live on camera. This is electric. All right, he seems to be an easy, easy ball for point to steal cheesy, so I still don't have any appetite.

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I haven't eaten anything. Do we need some hockey? There's no like like a cancer treatment patient who needs to stimulate their appetite.

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I'm worried about you wasting away.

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You know, I'm going to get hot. I'm a come out of this hotel room hot wearing the same clothes for fucking seven days straight, looking hot. All right. So let's talk about let's do some Super Bowl cleanup or do some Super Bowl cleanup. I still can't believe Billy just implicated himself. Whatever.

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Let's do some Super Bowl cleanup.

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Did you see some some ridiculous Tom Brady things that came out of this, the stat three hundred and forty four career games his. And if you cut his career in half, he's a perfect one hundred thirty two and forty and one hundred and thirty two and forty. How crazy is that. Wait, what Tom Brady has played three hundred and forty four regular season and postseason career games. Yeah, if you cut his career games exactly in half, he's one hundred thirty two and forty and one hundred thirty two and forty.

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Is that insane.

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Yeah, that's, that's crazy. That's a craft. That's Turbo Eli Manning. Yeah.

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Which actually he hasn't gotten better. Yeah, yeah, he picked he picked you early, yeah, the other one was the story that came out that Tom Brady texted his entire team every night, the week leading up to the Super Bowl, just saying we will win. And I have to imagine that's got to be. Like in terms of text messages you can get that has to be the single most like confidence inducing text message you can get from anyone at any point in your life.

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Tom Brady just saying we will win.

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Yeah, it's powerful. It's like it's a very short to the point statement where I think if anybody else like if Blaine Gabbert sent that text message to everybody each night, you probably get less confident is coming for Tom Brady. We will win. Sounds extremely profound. Yeah. It's like if if someone who is like if a poet says something that's just like a very plain generic phrase, then everyone kind of ignores it. But if it if it's at the end of like a fable involving a frog, a scorpion and a fox trying to cross the river, then it's like, yep, that makes a lot of sense.

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Like, it really hammers at home depending on who is coming from.

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Yes. Like if Tom Brady texted me right now, I was like, you will you will be better tomorrow. I'll probably test negative tomorrow. Like, that's that's I truly believe that he has those powers now. It's just everything defies logic when it comes to him.

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It's like if it's Tom Brady and the guy with the big, handsome Shalal, how Tony Robbins, those two guys, if they sent me a text saying we will win, then I would absolutely believe it no matter what. Yeah. I'm also I'm pretty psyched about the parade that they're going to have in Tampa. They just announced yesterday they're doing a boat parade. Yes.

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Beautiful boaters are going on the high seas, which I'm going to love seeing people like dress up their tampoe fishing vessels as pirate ships. It's going to be cool. It's going to be a very unique parade. So I'm glad that they're getting to do something out of it and choose to those.

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Well, and hey, remember when we went down to Tampa for the for the Stanley Cup final game two in 2015, they died the ocean blue. They're going to die. The great people, great people of Tampa just sat there. And Oz, they're like, wow, could you look at that? Like, what's going on? Like Wade, also ocean blue.

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They also I'm I'm assuming that the boat they're going to be on as a pirate ship. Right? It has to be they have to rent.

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They they have to rent the biggest commercial pirate ship that's available on the East Coast.

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They did this for the lightning. The lightning had a boat parade as well. But, yeah, they they absolutely have to have it on a pirate ship. And I actually I think that if you if you put Gronk on a pirate ship and you gave him a sword and after the boat parade, you just kept on going out in the Atlantic, like he would be like, OK, we're just pirates now. Like he would be down for just being a pirate million percent.

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Bruce Arians has a barrel full of rum that he keeps with him on the captain's bridge. I think that they should die the ocean red derby stick. Make it look like a big shark attack happened out there. That is very intimidating.

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Yes. Yes. The other the other note I had, this one was Marcus Moesha tweeted this out, the twelve last twelve Super Bowls, the leading rusher. In the on the winning team, the highest salary was two point five dollars million, every other leading rusher was 2.5 or less. So here, the leading rusher, Leonard Playoff led Damien Williams, Sony, Michel Laguerre, Laguerre Blunt, S.J Anderson, Laguerre Blunt. Wow.

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Three times Percy Harvin was the highest paid guy, a two point five, not even a running back. Ray Rice, Ahmad Bradshaw, James Starks, Pierre Thomas. I looked at that and I was like, I would love to see someone send that to Jerry Jones and just see what his reaction would be.

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I think he yeah, he would be like, I, I want to pay all these guys on this list.

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More money, more money than Zeke.

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Yeah, but it is also it makes sense. It makes sense. But like to us as dumb fans, we always are going to find that like one or two guys that we see as a running back that is currently a difference maker. And just assume that this guy is going to be the same guy in four years. But in reality, like the window that you have as an NFL running back to be great is sometimes as small as like six weeks.

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Sometimes there's like a six week period where you just get in the fucking zone and then you can cruise off that financially for the rest of your life. But it's not something where you're ever it's actually very rare to have a running back that's the most dominant running back in the NFL for like three years like that. That is an outlier, even something that wide of the gap. So it's like Derrick Henry's peak was probably like the last six months and will probably not get back up to that ever again.

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It's also, you know, whenever a Super Bowl happens, we try to, like, pick apart the team and try to understand exactly what made that team go.

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And you there are certain things, you know, like paying or running back. You know, the running back position is is taking up a huge chunk of your dead cap or salary cap like. Yes, it probably means the rest of your team is not that great. But when it all comes down to it, like a Super Bowl roster has talent everywhere, has to get lucky a few times, like the fucking Bucs. Tristan Wirth's, who is their first round draft pick last year out of Iowa, started every single step and was like an incredible offensive lineman for them.

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But you have to you know what I mean? Like you like those things have to happen. Like when you look at every Super Bowl roster, it's not rocket scientist science to say that you have awesome blue chippers all over the field.

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It's not one position or one way of doing it that can make you a Super Bowl team, like there's different ways to build a Super Bowl roster. And trying to figure it out after the fact is always a fun exercise, but it really kind of means nothing.

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Yeah, I mean, you have to have like you have to strike while the iron is hot with the one roster that gets hot at the exact right time. It's not like in baseball and basketball where you can kind of pencil your way into being like, yeah, if we put this type of race together, we can find ourselves, at least in the final four every single year for the next six, seven years. You can't do that in football.

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It's impossible. The only way you can do that is if you have Tom Brady on your team, you've got Tom Brady on your team. Let me rephrase that. The only way you can do that is if your star quarterback has an alleged money laundering operation that's taking place as his company behind the scenes they can funnel money to instead of spending cap hits on that. That's really what makes him the the easiest way to get to the playoffs into the Super Bowl in the NFL.

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Hey, he's looking at you like, what the fuck? What do you think? I this is the first I've heard of what you're talking about. Yeah, actually, the reality is like the formula you're taking always said about LeBron spitting it into an ugly place so that you're right.

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TV 12 is way different from Spaceship Two. But the real I believe in TV 12.

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Now, fuck that. I'm Spaceship Two now. I might buy a TV 12 book and just start dieting. I mean, we all know I'm not going to, but I'm going to say it. Yeah, I have a real formula.

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I've never opened it, but I have it.

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I can bring the real formula is just having having a star quarterback whose wife makes more money than him and that way he can afford to take a pay cut.

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Yes. Yes. Go ahead, Billy. Dude, the boxer to a man ultimate team, just like six pieces put together, like, remember, they lost the Giants, they didn't lose to the Giants, they lost to the Bears.

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Remember, when they know like we're getting beat by the Giants and we're like, these guys suck. Like they just didn't have chemistry. And then we got together. They lost the Giants last year.

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Yeah, no, the Bucs. I mean, it's just the. Yeah, that's true. Jane Jones first game, the Brady was out of his mind from like the four weeks, you know, the last four weeks on into the playoffs. And they it is I think Billy somehow got to like the correct point in that a lot of times when it comes to Super Bowl, it is a lot about getting hot at the right time and playing your best football at the right time of year, because Billy is right that like earlier in the year, the Bucs did look like a team that had a lot of issues and weren't on the same page.

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And if you if you get everything together come late December and you roll it in January, you can be the best team. And it's also weird because I think everyone now is like the chiefs suck, they don't suck.

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They need to get their offensive line healthy. But I would you bet on Katsaros not being back and at least the AFC championship next year.

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I think he's probably going to win a Super Bowl next year.

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Yeah, right. Right.

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So it's just the post the post Super Bowl, like for those like two or three days after the Super Bowl and we pick apart the carcass of football because we all just want to keep talking football. It always just makes me laugh a little bit because it's you know, we do what we do. It's hot heartaches.

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Can we take that to if the linebackers and like especially I mean, as a defensive lineman with one and a half hands had some interceptions this year. Devin White had great hands this year. Do you think that there's something to the fact that they got extra reps in practice the year before having kids?

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Winston as the quarterback throwing a lot like doing a couple of extra terrestrials a game by accident per practice, like they get they get more reps in and that stuff translates into better hands in the long term. I think the Jamous should probably get it wrong.

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James should get absolutely. James should get it ring. He I hope James starts next year. The other the other notes I had for the super clean up. Thank you. Officially your your fandom is on the hot seat because.

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You were rooting, obviously, for Tom Brady, which is totally reasonable, but did you see afterwards Bruce Arians did an interview and the reason why he put a lot of the team's success on giving days off to Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski, I think it's got to be your favorite coach in the NFL now. Absolutely not. His douche bag, he was setting himself up.

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He was setting himself all season when they were losing. He was blaming it on Brady. And then when they win, he's giving himself credit.

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He was us. He gives these guys days off. He gives vacation days. That's your style. All right. I mean, that's valid. That's what point. Yeah. I was like I read the article and I was like Bruce Arians essentially told Tom Brady whenever he needed day off, just let me know. He told Gronk whenever he needed day off. We want you fresh for Sunday. We don't give a fuck about the weekdays. And I thought of you right away.

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I'm like, this is what is Bill Belichick? No days off. That's kind of how I run this show where I got covid right now. What do you like a few days off every now and then?

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I mean, a few days off can really help someone's mental state. The scientific studies show that. But I do think that Bruce Arians was playing both sides all season long. Yeah, no, that's coach coaches back up after the game.

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Bruce Arians thing is always like he's going to be hardest on his best players.

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And that's who it's also the it's like what barstool does he like? You get unlimited vacation days. But if you take a vacation, like we're going to Shamy, like, I'm sure if Brady weren't there, Bruce would be like, oh, Pretty and Gronk weren't here like he would a human as well.

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Oh, I'd like to point out that we should be offering our thoughts and prayers to Hank as well, because Hank had a vacation planned this weekend. He was going to go to Florida.

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So he's there really because you had a vacation planned? Pretty.

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I was. Oh, OK. All right. So are you vacation shaming me? No, no. I'm just like I was picking back our vacation. No, it's one for all and all for one. Like, if one of us takes a vacation, we should all take a vacation. I was going to let you take a few days off without like because obviously if we came back and it was like, how is your trip? And you had you couldn't ask me how my trip was like that would've been so awkward.

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Yeah.

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So there was no there was a moment I like I was like I was talking to RIA, we're going to go to Florida just like get away for a couple of days. That's what I like 10 am. I got in the train and then big cat texted us like an hour later I was like I have covered. So we never took anything. So so that. I'd also like to point out that really how many wristbands you have on right now, how many times have you been that you haven't taken?

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I have the antibodies. I like my life that I my life for a fight with covid Lifebook, my life.

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You give me covid and now you've got your senior Frogs' fucking. Oh, my God.

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Oh, dude, I've my hands bound. By the way, I killed my cardio and killed my weight. I literally dropped ten pounds because it was crazy.

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Good thing that the guy you fought against took a dive. He can't just be on your market down. Market down. I said that. I was going to say that Billy.

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I said there's a fucking bathroom.

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I, I said I was going to defend Billy's honor and say that he punched knocked out Jose Canseco on Sunday. And it took me two days to be like, you know what, fuck you, Billy.

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He took a no, dude. He didn't even I mean, he didn't you beat him.

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The thing is, he just did he he thought that he could play play around for, you know.

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Are you doing the interview again? Are you doing Sunday night's interview again? I think you are. You should tell us, what was your mindset like going into the fight?

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I just honestly, I don't remember.

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I know like you just try to avoid, like watching just like like those good.

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It was really like it was very, very fun.

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For the good news is you wouldn't have to report Jose Canseco is a close contact because you didn't spend enough time like really.

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So I fucking buckled my septum in training. I can't breathe out of my nose. And I was hoping that I'd get beat up during the fight so I could like expense, get my nose fixed in anything.

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You just said that you should have said that you got you got your septum fucked up. All right.

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Let's do one more thing. One more thing about Bruce Arians. I don't know if you've noticed this big gap, but if you look at his Twitter timeline, the only thing that Bruce Arians has posted in like the last I know eight, nine months is just all types to different people. I think post I think they're like thirty people that have died that Bruce Arians, I don't know if they're like, oh, Bruce Arians, his friends are dying if he's a serial killer.

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But if you scroll back, it's it's kind of ridiculous.

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Oh yeah, it's right. You're right. You're right. When you get older, it's tough. Yeah.

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He's just using his Twitter to he's basically the obituary section, which I was my age. Does anyone have the The Washington Post on their hot seat? No, I will get to that in a second. Let me do this real quick.

[00:26:31]

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[00:27:55]

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[00:28:34]

Hank Hofstee. Does any of you fucking idiots that believe the story. US and listeners, not that you guys are idiots, but anyone out there that believe the story of the kid who the streaker, there's a tweet going out that he bet fifty thousand dollars on the thought that there would be a streaker and they only had to pay a thousand dollars bail myself out. So he made like a crazy profit by doing that, which is impossible because there's no chance you could bet that much on such a crazy.

[00:29:02]

Right. Right.

[00:29:03]

First of all, to have the go profits.

[00:29:06]

And then second of all, if that were in fact a case and you were the streaker, there's no way in hell you're making a code like Bleacher Report bets to be like, hey, look at me.

[00:29:16]

I just scammed. You're keeping your mouth shut. Yeah. And low for a long time.

[00:29:20]

This is one of those stories that makes me confident in barstool sports and pen and the Basel sports bar cap, because I see other companies buy this stuff and I'm like, what are you.

[00:29:30]

There's no way.

[00:29:31]

I mean, they limit everything. They limit all the props. If you Gatorade, it'd be like saying, I bet on a prop for who? To someone to win the Royal Rumble. Like you can't win when things can be decided by humans outside of the actual sport, they limit them. Of course they do. So this is crazy and it's shame on anyone who bought that. Right. Also, another hot seat, I have a few today, no big deal, Diane Sawyer.

[00:29:59]

Oh, yeah. First of all, happen. I thought she was dead. I thought it was like I thought she was getting canceled post mostly.

[00:30:05]

But from where I was mostly whatever post, whatever it is, post post, mostly post shows, mostly post most mostly.

[00:30:15]

OK, I always get Diane Sawyer, Connie Chung and Barbara Walters, that's all.

[00:30:20]

Just one like late 90s, ABC, 60 Minutes. Twenty twenty. Watching it after a football game wrapped into one.

[00:30:30]

Yeah. Toss toss Bette Midler in there too because she kind of gives off that vibe. Yeah.

[00:30:36]

But there's like there's a new interview, new documentary about Britney Spears and how she was like basically like the media like fucked her up and Diane Sawyer was like one of the main perpetrators. So she was getting canceled. Not post mostly in real. Mostly true, mostly.

[00:30:53]

What do you say might get Letterman to rate?

[00:30:55]

David Letterman once boasted that. That's just that's that's so that's the Lindsay Lohan thing. They're ticked off. He's trying to cancel David Letterman for a Lindsay Lohan interview. But that's like they took a clip. And if you watch the full interview, like the context, it's not really that bad. But if you watch just the tick tock, it's like, oh, it's fucked up, but it's really not. Well, but Diane Sawyer actually is fucked up.

[00:31:15]

I did watch some of that.

[00:31:16]

And it's bizarre to me how much the media has changed since the late 90s. Like basically everybody was treating Britney Spears like they were her mom. They were like, are you sure you should be wearing that on television?

[00:31:28]

It was like a relatively low cut shirt. And she was like, nineteen years old, you know, like, have you had sex yet? It's OK, Britney, you can tell me if you've had sex. It's like, like skin crawling stuff to be saying like a kid that would never, ever, ever be said like now. So it's like crazy how much that's changed.

[00:31:43]

And did you see the Justin Timberlake interview where they're asking like about the breakup? And then they asked Justin Timberlake about Janet Jackson's nipple and he was like, well, yeah, I mean, I do kind of feel bad. But also, when you think about it, we still haven't found those weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So I like the best the best spin zone ever.

[00:32:03]

It is crazy, too, because the Internet has, like, made culture just weird hyperspeed. So when you say early two thousands, you're like, oh, that's not that.

[00:32:14]

That doesn't feel that long ago, but it's really, really long ago in terms of like cultural norms and everything everyone was doing just because it feels like every month and the Internet is basically a year. Yeah.

[00:32:25]

And when they were doing those interviews and Spears back in the day, I remember watching because I was like, I don't know, a few years younger than Britney Spears, but there's nothing that I wanted to see happen less than for Britney Spears to stop dressing up like a skank. That was like the most important part of my day would be to be like, oh, look at this cool picture. Britney Spears, did she look hot?

[00:32:43]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got so mad. I was like, please, please don't scare her out of us. Out of exploring and showing off her body. Right.

[00:32:54]

Carson Daly after Codrea. Yeah, after school every day.

[00:32:59]

And then my cool throw and talk about celebrities Internet culture is Kim Kardashian west. Although isn't she knocking Kardashian west anymore.

[00:33:06]

They get I think they can't do they cancelled their marriage. We start saying that by the way, just cancel for everything.

[00:33:12]

Just you said think it's called divorce. It's actually yeah.

[00:33:17]

They've cancelled their marriage but canceled their love and still her Twitter name. And she posted a tweet today. Really inspirational. It's her and Kourtney on a yacht in bathing suits. And it says, somehow in this crazy life, we found each other. Well, Kim cornichons, the sister says, yes, this was somehow somehow they found each other.

[00:33:39]

So I'm just telling her I'm happy for them when your mom and O.J. Simpson love each other very much together.

[00:33:46]

That's later. That's that's Khloe. I think they are. I don't know.

[00:33:51]

It's now Khloe is actually, well, not confirmed and not confirmed at all. So that's confirmed. It's alleged.

[00:34:00]

Did you also see Kim Kardashian had the picture of her seven year old Norgaard?

[00:34:08]

Yeah.

[00:34:08]

The drawing that looked like it was a fucking Monet. And she's like, look at look at what my seven year old just whipped up in art school.

[00:34:16]

Yeah, I bet you did. I bet you did. It already paid somebody to do it and then sent her home with and be like, look what look what your daughter's capable of when she's around me unlocking the best parts of her artistic mind.

[00:34:28]

It must be so nice to be that like you have. I don't know. What does she have? One hundred million Instagram followers. You just throw something up, you're never going to look at dimensions. So what does it matter? Just say that you're your kid did it.

[00:34:39]

Are they going to keep the name the last name best for the kid? Because North Kardashian doesn't really make it doesn't slap as much as Northwest does.

[00:34:47]

No, I think the kids, whatever you're born with, is the last name.

[00:34:50]

Yeah. I don't think you change that in a cancellation of love. Right. Patti. My hot seat is math. Math is on the hot seat big time because they put out a statistical analysis of everything that happened when coaches went for two points or kicked an extra point this year. I love looking at this at the end of every season because they involve doing the most simple form of math possible, I think, and they're always about the same. So it's 93 percent of extra points were made.

[00:35:23]

That's down like one percent almost from last year. And then forty eight percent of two point conversions were completed. So you would think that it'd be pretty easy if you were a head coach to be like, well, what's more fit? Forty eight percent of two points or 93 percent of one point and then realize that they should go for to every single time, but they won't do it. It's not going to happen. It's going to take like one coach who just never kicks an extra point.

[00:35:52]

And especially if you have like a good if you have a good offense, I'm sure that the number is above 50 percent on two conversions now because remember, with his forty eight percent, you're also taking into account, I don't know, like teams like the Houston. I guess their offense is pretty good, but you're taking out like the Jets. The Jets are rolled into that. Forty eight percent in hyperdrive. So if you have a good offense, you should absolutely go for two points every single time.

[00:36:18]

And I was actually just thinking about like, if you went back 30 years or let's say you went back to like the 60s and they had a two point conversion option out there. Do you think there's any football coach that would ever say, like, I think I'll take my football team off the field and send out my Eastern European kicker with one shoe to. Yeah, it's something that's worth one point.

[00:36:44]

It's at least football guy thing you can do ever to kick an extra point instead of going for two and just like running the ball up the middle. But it's because, like, it's been that way for so long that now it's now it's the conservative thing to do to send you like little pansy kicker out there to kick an extra point. Right.

[00:37:03]

It's actually the least football guy thing to do to go for two, because that's a nerd thing. Yeah, it's totally flipped, right? Yeah. No, I agree with you. That's that's interesting to think about. Like, if they were if the rules were just if they had introduced a kick after, like if they had just started the first twenty years of football, it was two point conversions or nothing. And then all of a sudden they started doing kicks.

[00:37:26]

No one would kick ever.

[00:37:28]

It would be it would be a forgotten rule. Let's just say like they introduced the extra point kick after the World Cup was in America and they're like, we've got soccer fever.

[00:37:37]

Let's keep this going because people love seeing kicking. Coaches would not have a kicker on the roster.

[00:37:42]

They'd be like, yeah, you actually, I might have we might have fucked up because I wouldn't be shocked if the extra point didn't exist first. It probably didn't. Right? I don't know because.

[00:37:55]

Well, because back in the day it was worth more to kick a field goal than it was to score touchdown.

[00:38:00]

Huh? OK, we'll have to look into that. I'll look into it when we do when we do Brooks interview or Jake, you look into it.

[00:38:08]

Look into it. Nineteen fifty eight.

[00:38:10]

Nineteen fifty eight was enough when the when the kick was implemented beginning in 1958, the scrimmage play conversion method of scoring became worth two points. The two point conversion to far.

[00:38:22]

That's what happened. OK, ok, that makes sense. So it was always like you would go for a two point conversion, but it was one point and then they finally made it to and got and people still weren't like, hey, maybe we should start doing this. Yeah. How many points were they.

[00:38:36]

How are going to. They have had to make it four for a coach like four and be like, oh actually this is a good idea.

[00:38:41]

No, I think it'd have to be like five and a half. Yeah.

[00:38:46]

It's so, so ridiculous. So backwards.

[00:38:49]

You have a cool. Yeah. My Cothran is actually no I was going to do I was going to put a beautiful boater's on the cool throne for the whole parade, which I'm very excited about.

[00:39:00]

Although you know what sucks about this. So how are they going to be able to toss beers to Rob Gronkowski to shotgun from the from the land, from the land?

[00:39:08]

Do they have a big enough arm? Yeah, the if it's anything like the lightning bolt parade, it's they like go down like a little canal and people can throw shit at them.

[00:39:19]

Okay, so. Billy, you're not going to the pope, right? He's like, I can be your correspondent for this giant party tomorrow, Billy, you're not even close to Tampa right now.

[00:39:29]

I don't care. I'll drive. No, you won't put on a plane today. Yeah, I'm driving home. I can't deal with planes and organizing stuff.

[00:39:40]

Yeah. Wow, that's so stressful. Your life is so crazy. All right. My hot seat is. Oh, The Washington Post. So, Marty Schottenheimer, all time football guy. All right.

[00:39:51]

He passed away today. He had been sick. It was really sad. I watched a video. They did a Tom Rinaldi piece a few years ago. He has ALS. He had Alzheimer's. Really, really sad. A legendary coach, seventh in all time, wins two hundred wins, turned around four different franchises. You know, I mean, he he took the Browns to two AFC championship games. Think about that. He took the Chargers to, you know, fourteen and two season like he he was, you know, the Chiefs in the 90s.

[00:40:20]

All these things. Great coach Washington Post decided to do a headline for his obituary. Marty Schottenheimer, NFL coach whose teams wilted in the postseason, dies at seventy seven.

[00:40:32]

So that was I do really believe that the headline writer lost a bet like one of those teams that Marty Schottenheimer had like thirteen and three, Joe Montana, like he lost a bet and he's been waiting for Marty Schottenheimer to pass away to then throw that out there, because that feels like hell hath no fury like a scorned gambler.

[00:40:53]

That's what that feels like to me.

[00:40:55]

It does feel like a grudge headline if because if you're just a football fan, that's not even the first thing I think about Marty Schottenheimer. I don't like I would like the top three things that would come to my mind would not involve him choking away things in the playoffs because no, he had some he had some, like, shitty kickers that mess things up for him at times like Marty Bullivant, Marty Ball. Marty was fun, man. You know, if you if you choose to embrace establishing the run.

[00:41:21]

Marty Schottenheimer, Marty Schottenheimer invented running the football as far as I'm concerned. So, yeah, it is fucked up. It could be. Dan Snyder probably paid somebody The Washington Post to write that headline. Inside is probably the only person in America that's that's bitter at Marty Schottenheimer because they had a grudge after Marty. I think Marty claimed Deon Sanders or somebody off waivers at his next job and wouldn't let Dan Snyder pick them up. So I think that they've got like a long standing beef.

[00:41:49]

But if you find yourself on the same side as Dan Snyder in any argument you already fucked up, I'd like to polish my facts earlier.

[00:41:56]

College football is nineteen fifty eight. The NFL adopted the two point conversion in ninety four.

[00:42:01]

What right? Yeah, the two point conversion came much, much later. I mean, I guess we're nine years old, I guess that's what. No, that yeah. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, coaches are like. This is one of those newfangled like you think it's a if it happened today, coach would be like, oh, it's this new Tic-Tac rule.

[00:42:19]

You know, you're like it's one of these Internet rules that they tell you to do and you get an LCD delivered to your mailbox. It probably it like an advancement in technologies that were like, no, thank you, I'm not going to do that.

[00:42:30]

You know what I just did? I did what we do to to to younger kids who assumed that the yellow line is always existed. It doesn't that isn't the first time I just did that. Like, there's people who've watched football their whole life, like, whoa, like you you actually don't remember when it was a two point conversion. I've had that conversation with people who don't remember when the yellow line was introduced because I remember so vividly being like, oh, my God, everything has changed.

[00:42:56]

Do you remember when they reintroduced instant replay? Yeah. Yes. Oh, wow.

[00:43:02]

So, like, instant replay was one of those things that I think they started for the first time, like a long, long time ago. But the camera that they were shooting on it with, like if it's the worst camera that you could, it was useless. You couldn't rewind it, you couldn't see shit on it. So back in like out of the 70s or 80s or whatever it was, they're like, we're going to push pause on that until our cameras get better.

[00:43:23]

And I think I think mid 90s, I think it was right around the scene. Yes. Two point conversion.

[00:43:26]

Yes.

[00:43:27]

The last thing I had with Marty Schottenheimer, I just forgot that the absolute pinnacle of coach looks will forever be the 90s when it comes to the scripts hat and the starter jacket. That is the coolest that coaches will ever look in any sport ever like. They're just when you see those pictures of Marty Schottenheimer on the Chiefs head sideline and the huge fucking jumbo headset's. The coolest you could ever look. I miss those days. I wish guys would wear starter jackets again.

[00:43:59]

I would add in the buddy Ryan look when he had the real thick glasses. When you get a match that's got like these glasses that are five inches thick. Wonder how he sees through them. Combine that with a giant hat, huge headphones. It's like that look for me in football and then the like will wade type sweating through your undershirt, look for a college basketball coach.

[00:44:22]

That's what makes. I'm pretty sure Buddy Ryan had the starter jacket look to so we had like a he had like the maybe not the puffy starter jacket that I'm thinking of, but the the precursor to that starter jacket that also was it might have been the pro player jacket.

[00:44:38]

My cool thrown is Joe Paci trending on Twitter. I don't really know. Was he trending for why was he trending on Twitter as how he was trending.

[00:44:47]

Oh, OK. So it was his house. I thought it was something else. His house.

[00:44:52]

I looked at those pictures, Joe Pesci, Pacis Shorthouse that he bought in 1994 and has never updated, makes him the coolest person in the world. He already was pretty fucking cool. But the fact that, like it's a time capsule to Joe Pesci in the 90s is so fucking badass and I love Joe Pesci for it. And buying that house like that house should go for ten million dollars over just because of. And I hope the person who buys it doesn't touch a goddamn thing.

[00:45:19]

Just make it a Joe Pesci Museum. Yes, it's awesome.

[00:45:23]

I love it because his entire house is a man cave that like the biggest Joe Pesci fan would want. So, like, who's the richest Joe Pesci fan in the world? Because that's the guy that needs to buy the house like feel like Bon Jovi is probably huge. Joe Pesci fan gleni balls. We should do a go fund me and all the money to go to gleni balls to be able to purchase a home and live in it and just make content out of the house.

[00:45:46]

I guarantee you, if you gave gleni, bought this house, he would find something new and cool that would make him giggle every day for like twenty five years. Pay for himself. Agreed.

[00:45:55]

Agreed. Absolutely has to happen. Billy, I'm scared to even ask if you have a hot sequel on. Yeah, did you just see what they tweeted? OK, so the answer is you don't. What did he tweet? He tweets, I'm really fucking weird. Oh, no way. Jose Canseco. Yeah, we wait for it. Wait for it. Let's find out what really happened here. Did anyone ever see me get hit in the face?

[00:46:19]

And I'll wait for the truth. It's coming to a theater near you.

[00:46:23]

The fuck did you I mean, you pay him to to take a dive?

[00:46:29]

Yeah, I'm happy to die, but it's like it's just so fucking annoying now. It's sort of sinking in. What the fuck has happened? What do you mean, what was going through your mind on the night of the fight? Do you know I was I was more time like, yeah, I generally just like they got the point in my head where I just felt no fear. And no, it's just my flight plan was to throw one hundred and forty punches around, like, well, you know, the three one minute rounds, like, you know, yeah, cardio is not a deal.

[00:47:03]

But if you came out like sprint fighting, it's different than, you know, fighting for multiple rounds like like boxing is like a marathon night.

[00:47:13]

But like we were going in, it's a sprint. So I trained to sprint flight, which is just tucking your chin and throwing as many punches as you can.

[00:47:23]

Do you think, like for real, though, that he had any idea that you were going to do that to him? I think he this is what I think happened right from my point of view. I stepped in the ring to fight. I came in. I literally once I got hit by him and realized, like, he doesn't have this crazy power he's talking about. I went through my one tube down the pipe, got wrapped up with him and like I worked on encamp.

[00:47:51]

If he was going to try to wrestle me, I was going to bounce out and hit him with the hooks on the inside real quick. And then he just once you realized that I was going to be able to dismantle him, he went down and then I'm going. I got angry because I was so wound up and I was like, is this guy going to fucking wait till I just cut out?

[00:48:09]

They just cut out. Yeah. Oh, all right. Let's do that again, Billy.

[00:48:13]

Three, two, one. So, Billy, what did it feel like when you're going up against Ozzy that night, guys, and you actually just answer those two questions?

[00:48:24]

I was actually I was interested into what you saying, right?

[00:48:28]

Because you had to go through it. He was laughing so hard.

[00:48:33]

The thing is, I'm going to be I didn't think you knew I was like an athlete at all. And when I was taller than before the fight, I saw he was low key. Like, you try to talk trash me the night before the fight was, oh, did he come off?

[00:48:48]

Did he come up to you? Yeah, he came up to me. He said with you. And I was just like like I was like I just was cool, calm and collected because I like I was shitting myself to fight. Right.

[00:49:03]

But I had to like having anxiety attacks. I do. I did, bro.

[00:49:07]

I was like, what the fuck. Like how many times you like in the next month we can do this with Billy. Just get him to tell retell the fight.

[00:49:18]

No, no, seriously, Billy. Yeah. Like when you saw him, when you saw him at the way in ways you saw it with the. Wait, wait what are you a little intimidated though? Because he's tall. He's taller than me. He's like a big dude. Oh, I'm taller.

[00:49:32]

Oh, people. I realized I had reach on him. I was like, I'm going to fuck this guy up. Like I because the guys I've been fighting and sparring, training, going up to the camp look like I legitimately the first week of my sparring, like guys were teeing off on me because, one, they were pissed at this kid who never bought a box before, got a shot at that money, and they thought I was a huge pussy.

[00:49:57]

So I was getting my ass beat for fucking months leading up to this fight. And that's why I knew, like, he wasn't going to be able. Like what? Like, you know, when you get the confidence a guy was a good boxer, but I could fucking get hit in the face and throw punches. I was ready to go into the fucking fight.

[00:50:12]

But no, like, actually, this is a totally real question because I feel like everyone going into the fight was like once hoped. They will just fucking one punch knock him out. Yeah, it did.

[00:50:23]

He not did he not have power? Everyone was talking about this punch power when he hit me with this jab. Right. It was a punch, but like I'd taken a ton of punches like up to if I was like once he punched me I realized the fucking wizard behind the curtain was fucking just a man. I fucking went out and that's what I was knocked his ass out.

[00:50:47]

You just see quick, because that's here you literally what happened was you can take a dive. You just did, you know, he's like really.

[00:50:58]

But like from a mindset mentality like where was it? Were you did you get to bezerk mode.

[00:51:03]

Yeah, I did. I fucking did. It was, it was crazy. Like I was just locked in and you know, like it was the whole thing's been so crazy. It's just like, you know what, your hot seat, my hot seats COGAT because big cats can kick his ass. Oh, that's really fucked up to say after you gave it to me. Oh, no, you said big. I'm going to kick it. I've covered brain.

[00:51:29]

I reverse it on myself. Yeah, I've covered brain.

[00:51:33]

Sorry, we can't just anytime you fuck up, just say that you have long. No, I did. You got covid.

[00:51:39]

I got to ask you, I spelled the first time when I was like I didn't have any symptoms on Sunday. I mean I just felt like run down. But when I, I had a tweet that I spelled note as not twice in a tweet and I was like, dude, how do you spell it wrong? Twice. And I was like, wait, what?

[00:51:56]

So that guy is pretty much a doctor. That's all I got from that. Billy, anything else on the fine? Do you literally saw that my team, my team's t was just too fucking high? Yeah, yeah.

[00:52:12]

So he's not he's not like Loki. He's not as tall as I thought he was.

[00:52:17]

Dude, I had the best friends and family in the world and I couldn't have done it without them, like, you know, the love I molcho like some dude send me some dude sent me a custom country album playlist like that's like what dude. I made this playlist for you. I think it'd be awesome.

[00:52:35]

Oh shit. Playlist like the love. Like the love. I mean I just love everybody chose to love this CD.

[00:52:46]

It was that was a Spotify playlist, but it's just flock to you. That's deep love. I know a pro life like everyone was ready to go to war with me. It was insane, you know. Yeah, it's just.

[00:52:58]

Where do you go from here, Billy? Dude, I miss what's next. I miss my fucking dog. I miss the war zone. Yeah. And it's just crazy.

[00:53:10]

Where are you going to buy the fifty thousand dollars?

[00:53:12]

Billy bro, I almost dropped to Bamian million new heart after you gave me covid.

[00:53:18]

Two new lungs, new lungs. Yeah, yeah, but it's just it's just crazy.

[00:53:24]

I think waste is when you didn't answer the question, what are you going to buy? Well, I tried that the COBRA became legal in New York.

[00:53:32]

No. So you ship it to New York and there was killing raccoons.

[00:53:38]

That didn't stop you. Yeah. So is passing covid, killing bats, killing bats.

[00:53:43]

Sorry, you don't see that it's legitimately a crime to kill bats.

[00:53:48]

Oh, sorry. That allegedly. This is crazy. All right, let's get to our interview with Brooks, if you got some loop, right? Yeah.

[00:54:00]

So I'm rocked my world right now. We're all training. Actually, I'm on Team Bulc right now. So I'm put I'm putting on some clean weight on that.

[00:54:08]

And I forgot the tips. Yeah. Fucking have to be creatine loading. I've been taking creatine. I've just been eating clean. I just eat clean. I'm actually going clean.

[00:54:18]

You dirty. Both dirty, both dirty. Both last week. Now I'm cycling into clean now you dirty Burtonsville.

[00:54:25]

OK, so my doctor, my dietitian has told me that my dad's over. Thank you Billy. Two days suck but I'm back. I'm bulking up now and everyone's out there recovering from exciting weekend. You get the 24/7 fitness tracker that helps you recover smarter after whatever you take on in life. I got my hope right here. It's a health and fitness tracker. It quantifies and tracks personalized data like sleep recovery strain and more. So each day when you get up gives you a recovery score based on your sleep, your respiratory rate, your resting heart rate and your heart rate variability.

[00:54:58]

The score lets you know how to approach your day, whether you should push yourself or if you should take it easy. I woke up this morning the seventy six to seventy six inch screen. When it's green on the screen, I wake up.

[00:55:09]

I feel like I can do anything. I'm going to hit a workout right after this is over big. I'm going to be jacked up. I'm looking like a like a beast come summertime in the swimsuit get my summer bod ready to go with book. And the way that it works is you wear this band around your wrist and the band connects with the app on your phone, automatically measures your heart rate, your calories burned and your activity levels throughout the day.

[00:55:33]

So you don't ever have to start and stop for workouts. And it's got a built in sleep coach that's going to tell you how much sleep you need to be getting based on your expected activity level for the following day. And it tracks your sleep cycles, the awake, the light, the RTM and the slow wave sleep to see that not only are you getting a high enough quantity of sleep, but you're getting a high enough quality of sleep. So we've been wearing our bands for a couple of months and it's awesome to track our sleep and activity on these things makes a lot easier.

[00:56:03]

Work can help you make smarter lifestyle choices and keep you performing at your best. Hope is having a must have sale. Right now it's offering 15 percent off use promo code. Take a check out a copy that come in a promo code, take it, check out save fifteen percent and now Brooks Koepka move.

[00:56:25]

OK, we now welcome on one of our best friends in the entire world. Future Blake of the year.

[00:56:32]

Hopefully just coming off waste management. Well I root for all the lakes. I want all the lakes to do well. Just coming off. Waste Management Championship won a trophy back in the winner's circle. Even though that doesn't exist in golf. It is Brooks Koepka ARCI Brooks. How do you feel? Let's do that. Let's do it. Shitty journalist question. How do you feel?

[00:56:57]

I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday morning when I woke up. I can promise you that yesterday was a bit of a struggle. Thought through it though and back to know. That's what I wanted to do. Just keep just keep plugging along. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:57:10]

How does the body. So that's, that's another good one to ask is just like physically from a physical standpoint. I saw, you know, last time we saw you, I guess this is at the US Open, you're getting your knee tugged at a place. Are you feeling all right. Everything back in back into position.

[00:57:24]

Yeah. Yeah, everything's back. It's all good. It's a little bit I'm surviving.

[00:57:29]

Well, so I actually wanted to talk about that because I know that, you know, you're a very cool guy and you make golf look easy. But I did read the quotes that there was some dark days and in twenty twenty because your knee wasn't really responding the way you you needed it to and it felt like it was a longer journey than you expected. Was there ever a point where you're like, I may never be back? Like I this might not work out like I'm not going to be Brooks Koepka anymore.

[00:57:59]

Yeah, I thought maybe the only shot of winning anything was in the year for the rest of my career. It's I mean, it's not a bad thing, it's not a knock on the air. But I thought that that was, that was my best chance to go forward. But no, it was, it was a pain to. But I literally just every day it was just stiff. I couldn't do anything. Waking up, you know, trying to walk around was difficult enough.

[00:58:20]

And then you start going in the weight room and it just it feels like my new is going to go sideways. It's just not a fun feeling.

[00:58:27]

Oh, you know, what's a great story? Maybe we can tell here is, you know, a lot of the haters out there, a lot of the knock against against Blake from people that don't know what they're talking about. They would be like, oh, Brooks doesn't love golf like we do or he doesn't love golf like everybody else should love golf. Did this injury give you a newfound love for the game of golf?

[00:58:48]

Yeah, I mean, I always. It's always let's say it's a love hate relationship, though, but, you know, it's my job at the end of the day. I mean, yeah, you love your job. I like doing it. But at the same time, it can be very repetitive just doing it day in, day out, and especially when you're sucking at it. Yeah.

[00:59:10]

So did did you know your guy who I mean, you're my fan favorite. I think there's a lot of people who root for you because you're a refreshing, honest guy when it comes to like interviews and media. Was there a moment, though, because it felt like there were some guys that took their shots at you when you were down knowing that you were down? Did you feel did you, like, read those? And you're like, all right, come on, I'll be back eventually.

[00:59:33]

Like, this is eventually to come back and be. Fuck you, Brooke Brooks, Calcutta.

[00:59:38]

Yeah, no, I mean, I saw I saw a few of those fun. Hey, listen, I've been known to take my shots. They can take their shots too. It's cool. I can live with them. Big boy.

[00:59:48]

I love that. That makes you better than everyone else, just so you know. Yeah. Let's listen. At the end of the day, I mean, I'm a sports fan, too. I can tell you how many times have yelled at the TV because LeBron James missed a shot or somebody else has done something. And I mean. It's part of sports. Yeah, I love it, yeah, so I saw that you won, I think it was a one point three million dollar check.

[01:00:11]

That's pretty cool. You think about asking it for, like, the check in Bitcoin or Dogecoin or something like that.

[01:00:18]

I would have. I should have actually. That would have been great. I mean, I could turn that real quick into some good money.

[01:00:24]

I think if you just say the word dogecoin, then it's going to jump up at least like five cents a share.

[01:00:29]

Yeah, I think so. That's kind of how I know my brother was. My brother was on one about two weeks ago. I mean, he was just sitting there watching it. I'm like, dude, it's like midnight, relax. And it's like, you be all right.

[01:00:43]

Dogecoin never sleeps. Dogecoin never sleeps. Does it get like you've won obviously big tournaments before you've won majors. But I'd have to imagine, like when you're walking off of 18 and you're like, wait one point three million in four days work, you know, that's pretty damn good. Like, does that ever get old or is that still just the coolest feeling in the world?

[01:01:05]

It is a really cool feeling. I'm not going to lie, just trying to think of what I can. I mean, it was like, Jose, you got paid like, what? One hundred and fifty per second.

[01:01:16]

We're taking a dive. And by the way, he owes you guys, what, two grand of the bar. So fun for taking that dive.

[01:01:23]

I highly doubt he's going to pay it. Yeah, I don't think so, kid. I love it, but I love how he put it. Oh yeah. He kept it.

[01:01:33]

He totally bought that. You and I were different ages like, you know, I was a decade older is like, you know, the adults are talking here.

[01:01:39]

It's not exactly a smart guy. It's funny you bring that up though, because everyone loved our interview with Billy Football on Monday after his win on Friday night. He was very drunk when we interviewed him on Sunday night. We actually talked to you on FaceTime on Sunday night. I think you were just as drunk as Billy Football. I was enjoying myself.

[01:01:59]

I was having a good time.

[01:02:02]

I think we should have recorded one point three million on Michelob Ultra and we should have recorded it because we could have had you we could've done the same thing, the three to one. All right, Brooks, here we go. And just kept on asking the same questions.

[01:02:16]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. You could ask the same question I'd asked and answered it differently every time.

[01:02:21]

Yeah. You know what I love about like you guys, like you and just most athletes in general, I've started to realize that when they accomplish something, when they win a big championship or when they when they do something they didn't think that they could do it for, their big celebration is just like ours. They just want to go out and drink like twenty beers. It's great. It's kind of refreshing to see that. So like, you go to the bar, you just won a tournament and at the end of the day you're still like, hey, just let me get seven pitchers and I'll be happy.

[01:02:48]

Yeah. Just like everybody else. That's what people forget because you see me on TV and you see me doing this stuff on toast. I drink Michelob Ultra the same way you drink. Yeah, bloggers too.

[01:03:00]

It's crazy. People come up to us in bars like we thought you'd be, you know, like drinking the martinis that they make with gold dust and them. It's like, nope, just load me up of course, later. I'm a happy boy. Oh yeah.

[01:03:11]

I'm just looking to get drunk. That's all right.

[01:03:14]

Brooks, I don't want to get you in any trouble, but we also you know, we're not huge golf nerds.

[01:03:19]

We love watching you. We love watching majors. Explain to us if you were let's take Patrick redecide side. Let's do that. So that won't get you in trouble because. Well, they do it. Yeah. Explain to us what everything he did correctly when he when the ball snafu happened last week, everything he did correctly, he called a rules official.

[01:03:40]

So that was correct.

[01:03:41]

In March of volunteer. Yeah. Yeah. OK, first of all, the he asked the question if it was plugged, so that was good. And then then he then he followed what the rules officer said when he said it was embedded, that was the only thing that he did correctly drop.

[01:04:01]

What did he do to drop correctly? Like he dropped it from the right?

[01:04:04]

Yeah, actually, he did do that. He dropped it correctly. He dropped it from the knee height. So that was good.

[01:04:10]

OK, well, I mean, a lot of golfers I think you're kind of alluding to this, too. You're saying that you can't embed a ball off of the second bounce, aren't you just kind of telling on yourself for not hitting shots hard enough that they stick it to the ground and that bounce?

[01:04:25]

What amazes me is that I don't think anybody knows this, but like where he hit it was like the highest point in the whole golf course. It was like it was like everything runs away from that. And that's like the highest point at Torrey Pines. Yeah, I don't know. He's incredibly.

[01:04:42]

Yeah, well, you're basically saying it's magic is incredible. And I agree. He's incredible. He's an incredible golfer. I hope you're OK with us. He's probably our number two. It's you and then him just because he's such a bad boy.

[01:04:54]

Yeah, I like Patrick, but I mean, yeah, with the whole sandcastle thing to happen, you know, he's find the sand with it at zero and then and then this one, they're not they're not the best looks I guess. No, I agree.

[01:05:10]

I'd agree. That's that's a fair way to put it. So like when shit like that happens, do you guys talk in the clubhouse or like, can you believe this guy didn't do this? Or like are you are guys genuinely upset when the rules aren't followed to a T. out on the golf course? Yeah.

[01:05:25]

So I guess this is what got me thinking that I was talking to, I think Rory about it later on last week before it's like, OK, that's great when the cameras are on, but when the cameras are off us on a Sunday, when you're in, like, thirtieth position, like what really happens. Yeah, good point.

[01:05:42]

Because that's so that's a lot of money on the line, like Thursday, June 30th and fortieth. That's actually a really good point.

[01:05:48]

But like what happens to the guy where, I mean, later down the year and know the last term of the year, the guy that finishes one twenty six, that he you know, it's one of those things that someone cheated out of something you never I mean, you never know. It's a bunch of what ifs, but you feel bad if I was out another guy. That's a good point.

[01:06:06]

That's a it's a fair thing to say. Like, that's where where it really hurts that people don't really think about it. And that's where it's like everyone needs to to be on the up and up.

[01:06:14]

Yeah, I'm in the Gulf. I mean, I think. You could do it if you really wanted to, but I don't know. I just couldn't I couldn't do it. I couldn't live with myself.

[01:06:26]

And there's no chance, like, you can't monitor everybody all the time, that sport. There's just too much going on unless every player had, like, body cams. And then it got to be reviewed, like at the end of every single round. Like, there's no chance that you can just make sure that everyone's cheat or everyone's not cheating at any given time. Has there ever been any talk not about this Patrick Reed guy in particular, but about any golfer?

[01:06:48]

Have you ever heard somebody be like, yo, let's wait for this guy in the parking lot and beat him up because I caught him cheating?

[01:06:54]

No, I don't think there's definitely been rumors that go around about different guys, but I don't think there's no no fights even when we're often rooting for that. Yeah, we just go with the team. Yes.

[01:07:09]

All right. Another dumb question for you on 17, when you hold out that eagle, were you actually are you actually aiming at the hole there or is it like, I'm just trying to get it somewhere close and then hopefully we're not?

[01:07:21]

I was just dumb luck that it went in that was just real because it's such a good shot. And it was like, oh, my God. But I don't know how those work. I assume you're just trying to put it to a place that will give you a great putt and then it ends up going in. It's like that was awesome. So if you really want me to be honest about it, there's three sprinkler heads that were right my way.

[01:07:42]

When I went up to the green to go look at it, I was like, oh, if I land these right on line with the sprinkler heads, that's where I want to land it, have myself like a six eight footer if I had a good shot. But because they're right there, I had to go a little bit further. Right. And then the ball, I mean, it kind of took a weird little hop. And I mean, I'll be honest with you, it shouldn't have gone.

[01:08:06]

That's just stupid. Luckman That makes it so much better. That makes it so. That's like sums up golf, too, when we see the greatest shots. And in reality, it's like I probably actually hit that a little bit, but it ended up getting it.

[01:08:18]

Yeah. I mean, that's just that's golf. Yeah. Half the time the guy hits a bad shot and it goes close to the hole. It's like I wasn't really aiming there. All right. It is what it is.

[01:08:26]

My theory about about you is that you just played better when there's fans involved, when it's like a little bit rowdy, you're out there and got is it Scottsdale to waste management open? Like there's that's like the drunkest crowd in golf. Besides maybe sometimes like the Ryder Cup when it's in Long Island. But I feel like you rise to the occasion when you've got a bunch of guys hooting and hollering at you.

[01:08:45]

Oh, it's the best that's the best atmosphere in golf when there's a lot of drunk people just screaming whatever at you, that's sixteenth hole. And they have those those fans down on the side and they're just finding all this dirt on you and you screaming at you learn a lot about the other guys you're playing with.

[01:09:01]

Real quick, who's the nastiest thing that you heard yelled at somebody this weekend was the nastiest thing.

[01:09:11]

I don't think it's tough because there's only five thousand people and and I felt like nobody was drunk enough on Saturday. I just feel like everybody was just prepping for the Super Bowl that was going to get so you're doing a good job of protecting your guys. Well, details out of school. I fired a couple of good ones, but nothing. Yeah, nothing too bad.

[01:09:31]

What's the next one's? The next term. Is it next weekend? Is there already like you have to play on Thursday?

[01:09:36]

No, there's one this week, but I figured I'd take it off after celebrating so hard I figured I definitely would recover. Yes, that's fair. So then and then I don't know. Do you want to predict like are you going to win any of these majors this year? It would be cool if you'd win a major so that we can start dunking on people again. Yeah.

[01:09:54]

Yeah. I get back in that circle. Yeah. I think it's a good chance. I like that. Feel good. So yeah. I'll be ready.

[01:10:00]

Where's the U.S. Open. Yeah. Where where's the U.S. Open this year.

[01:10:05]

U.S. opens here in San Diego and Torrey Pines. So when I played the week before last before I missed the cut. But that's fine. We'll go to that. Whatever it is, it's the of that.

[01:10:18]

Can we get like can we get special passes where we can be inside the ropes just following you. I wonder if you could get.

[01:10:24]

Yes, I be like this honorary observer thing where you really want to go on the ropes. Yes. Yes. What have you had us are like.

[01:10:31]

Maybe like it's an emotional support bloggers and we just follow you around as like extended caddies and we're just there to hang out.

[01:10:41]

So I don't have a swing coach right now and I don't have a mental coach. So you have to be the mental coach.

[01:10:46]

Yeah. Mental. Yeah. You really know how to break it out. People you know and everyone knows.

[01:10:52]

My swing is incredible.

[01:10:54]

So I got you a little bit. Yeah. Yeah we can do that really is a serious question. How how much worse do you think you would play it around if me and Big Cat were actually your caddies.

[01:11:07]

Oh oh. This would be real bad. I know I'd be only there for two days so would probably save me a little bit of dough. I would have went out to get a hotel for like a week or two for like four days.

[01:11:22]

So let's say let's put you into like a specific situation. It's it's Sunday at Augusta. So you've already played the course three times. It's sixty five degrees out. Very little wind greens are a little bit soft. PIN placement is medium hard, but your caddie sprained his ankle. Can't go mean big cat on the back for you. What do you shoot on Sunday? So that's that's a major it's different. I'm I'm good at those. Yeah, yeah.

[01:11:50]

And so are we.

[01:11:51]

I mean, we still win. We still win. It doesn't matter. We win.

[01:11:54]

That's what we win. Yeah, we would.

[01:11:57]

We do this interview.

[01:11:58]

Brooks is brought to you by NASCAR, the Daytona 500 vroom vroom racing is officially back with the NASCAR Daytona 500 this Sunday at two thirty PM Eastern on Fox. Watch the world's best racers battle to be crowned a Daytona 500 champion. Smells like Danny Hamlin's here. I'm just going to say it feels like a Danny Hamlin week right now. We're going to root for him. We're not going to win for Slowey slogan. Oh, he's too slow. Don't just watch the Daytona 500, though.

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[01:12:56]

I might throw down some tickets on that a little. Denny Hamlin versus Logano head to head matchup. But yeah, you can check it out of the sports at Daytona 500 this weekend, Sunday at two 30 p.m. Let's go racing now.

[01:13:10]

More Brooks Koepka you mentioned just now. So you did split with your your swing coach. How does that work? Like I said, I whenever I read that, I'm like, oh, what happened? But I assume that just happens routinely throughout golf, like guys who go through swing coaches, because at some point you just need something different, right?

[01:13:27]

Yeah, yes. At some point you just like, all right, look, I had a great run with them. It was fun. He's a good dude. I like him. Still is. I still talk to him. He talks to me after after the win. But this is one of those things where, hey, maybe you want to try to get a little bit better, you know, fine. Tune a couple of things and not just been talking to his dad a little bit about my swing and another guy who I've used in my whole career because I feel like from the outside looking in, it's always whenever I read one of those stories, I'm like, oh, shit, like, that's bad.

[01:13:57]

But then I realized almost every golfer, I think every golfer at some point has switched their swing swing coach because at some point you need to just change things up. So it's probably a no hard feelings both ways, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty much that you I usually go through, let's say, my whole career usually there's probably two or three caddies, a couple of swing coaches just kind of depends whatever you want to do. Yeah.

[01:14:20]

Do you do you say that you replaced your swing coach with your swing coaches, Dad?

[01:14:25]

No, I didn't replace him with that. I don't have anybody. But I've always bounce ideas off his dad, Butch Harmon. I always bounce ideas off him and another guy in England.

[01:14:33]

So it's like a fucked up horn with swingers. What's going on, Brooks?

[01:14:42]

Have you ever thought about having to swing coaches at once?

[01:14:46]

Yeah. Big Cat and PFG. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do it. We'll do it. Absolutely. Absolutely.

[01:14:55]

When you get those big checks after tournaments, you what do you do with the checks. Do you have like a garage that's just filled with them.

[01:15:01]

No, I should, I should just put them in my trunk or put it in the car like Happy Gilmore would be actually better just drive around with a whole bunch of big checks. Yeah, yes. Yeah. It's a really funny story about that. So I want that same event in twenty fifteen and I remember I was moving out of my old house and moving in the one I'm in now and I was like, I don't know where that trophy is, I have no idea.

[01:15:25]

So I called my agent and we had to track it down. It had been lost for like three and a half years and it was in some warehouse. Didn't even know I didn't have it until we were moving.

[01:15:35]

I was like, no, no, no. That's perfect, though. That's fucking perfect. I was like, hey, check what the right way did you win it?

[01:15:45]

You're the suzu. Yeah. Yeah, that was.

[01:15:49]

Do you did you ever meet Jim Renner, who is the original peoples golfer? I don't think he's I don't know what where he is right now, but he was on tour for a little bit and he came over to our house that year and was like just putting back beers. And this girl was like, hey, what are you doing? He's like, I golf is she's like, oh, really? Like, yeah, kind of like professionally.

[01:16:09]

And he's like, yeah, I got a tee time tomorrow like eight a.m. and it was like 11:00 p.m. and our superball house were like, what are you doing right now.

[01:16:16]

He didn't make the cut. So I said, yeah, I just came over then I don't know what you're winning the tournament.

[01:16:23]

So yeah. Probably doing something better. Yes. Yeah, I was all right. Yeah, but that's not agent. I'm trying to think. I think I was definitely I was definitely more drunk that year than I was in this one. Yeah. Tamme which was impressive. Yeah.

[01:16:39]

But when it has made you go out and just decide to party the hardest, the first major when we were like none at all, we're not going home, we're going to Vegas. I mean I think I was actually standing up, I was thinking I was dancing while the plane was landing in Vegas. I was like, oh, it was bad. I remember we landed. It was like it was one thirty and my agent or whatever, it was like, oh my God, it's one thirty and it's only one thirty.

[01:17:05]

Oh, yes, great job. Got plenty of time.

[01:17:09]

So like on a bender like that after you celebrating Major, how do you decide when it's time to call it off. Is there just like you have like a clock in your head, you're like, OK, we'll be here for two days and then we'll go back. Or do you just like keep going until it feels bad enough?

[01:17:22]

You just push through it. You just got to push. I think I did. I think I was partying for like literally a week and a half. We did Vegas for like six or seven days, which is a lot. That's a lot. And then we kept the party going in L.A. and that was and then I think in L.A., I remember that summer, it was an almost been one hundred and ten. I walked outside and I literally just about faded and I was like, ah, it's time we're not going to go.

[01:17:49]

I was like, I'm. Do the city work? I love it, I would my eye, you got to win the British Open because those parties, like, they're probably a little more subdued, but they're just like renting out your own English pub and just drinking for three days straight. And it seemed pretty awesome. That's also the best trophy to drink out of, right? Yes, it is the best one, because the ones that I've wanted very there's a lot of drinks.

[01:18:16]

You can put those and it just gets all over you. But the you can definitely drink a little bit better out of it. It's a nightmare. Yes.

[01:18:26]

You've got a whole nother what. You got an eight hour plane flight on the way back just to keep you going. Yes.

[01:18:31]

Truth is that we're the open championship this year. Saint Something. St George. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. Thank God. I was. Yeah, I was. I was at Royal St George.

[01:18:46]

We if you win we need to just like rent out Scotland. You can just rent Scotland for the weekend. I'm sure he's going to Ragia. Yeah.

[01:18:56]

Yeah. And then you got you guys fly over. Yeah. We'll just rent it out for a week. Yes.

[01:19:00]

All right. I have one last question. What. So we're now in twenty, twenty one. You got to win. Blake, the year is coming up in probably five months. Four months.

[01:19:11]

You know, we're depending on covid. We're trying to get everyone together. How do you like your chances if we are all together, all the blocks together in a competition?

[01:19:21]

I like I like that a lot better because I'm telling you what, I answered that phone call and the first ring this year I had it literally was sitting on my chest. I was like, I was ready. And then I hear ring to answer it. And I was like, there's no way. No. So I'm ready to get together. Plus the amount of shit talking that's going to go on. Mm. With Blake Griffin portal's. We got I mean, during off season, during that time, pretty much so.

[01:19:48]

I'm still going, so, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, maybe Blake Griffin might be in the NBA finals and Blake Bortles might be on a new team, so you don't know that that's true.

[01:19:59]

That is true. Yeah, I just I bought this. I'm to schedule an off week whenever whatever that week comes.

[01:20:06]

Perfect. We'll do it for like a week after whatever the major is around there so that you can win that party. And then at the end of the party, we can do the play of the year or we just do a while on party.

[01:20:18]

Yeah, that's what I would do.

[01:20:20]

That would be great. A Blake of the year. Like who could just stay up the longest.

[01:20:23]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That works.

[01:20:28]

That's perfect. I how to other questions.

[01:20:32]

Oh no I was my last one was just going to ask you about I've heard that you've noticed a larger South America or South African following like a contingency that that is actively pulling for Brooks Koepka because they think that you might be South African. Is that true?

[01:20:46]

Yes, actually you're going to die laughing at this. So we're pulling the course on Sunday. And this guy was riding his bike and he was in the hole, you know, the hole get up. And it was just South African flag. And I'm like scrambling, trying to get my phone out to take a picture to send to upsy. And I couldn't. And I took the photo and I screwed it up because whoever was in our passenger seat, literally just their whole face blocked the guy.

[01:21:10]

And I was like, yeah, but I was like, oh, we've got to be. That's a good omen going into a Sunday right there. Absolutely.

[01:21:17]

Yeah. It's like the Washington State flag on College Gameday. We always need you need to see a South African flag to get you pumped up for Sunday.

[01:21:25]

Now, Zach Brooks, did you so I do think you were as drunk as Billy because you did tell us that story on Sunday night. OK, yeah, so I thought you were maybe telling it again for the listeners. What I think you didn't even realize you told us that story. And so I had no idea. No. No idea. That's for you.

[01:21:48]

You kept saying to me, like, the picture is so bad. It is the worst picture you've ever taken. I feel like I have to see the picture now because you honestly said how bad this picture was, maybe seven times.

[01:22:00]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, fuck.

[01:22:03]

I didn't know even better to do it. Never apologize for partying after twenty one point three dollars trillion. Senator, I mean, come on.

[01:22:12]

Yeah. Sorry. That's that's what makes it real. Right. Exactly.

[01:22:17]

All right. Well, Brooks, thank you. Hopefully we'll see you soon, man, and appreciate you doing this. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it.

[01:22:26]

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[01:23:34]

All right, breaking loose.

[01:23:40]

That's actually a gaokao, not a Hank cow.

[01:23:42]

Hey, are there any animals that you can't do an impression of? Rough, rough. There we go. Dog barking news where it's later on at night and Daredevil has challenged to rough and rowdy two million dollars that he is asking for. He needs two million dollars guaranteed to get in the ring and have to kick his ass.

[01:24:07]

Listen, I'm going to beat the shit out of Dan Revolt. Like if you were to ask me, name one person in the world that I'm confident that I could beat up its Terryville. I think everybody and I don't think anybody in the world couldn't kick their ass. So I don't know where he came with this idea from. I think he just saw Jose Canseco get a paycheck and he was like, you know what, I'd like to get my name trending on Twitter, so maybe I'll just talk about getting into the boxing ring.

[01:24:30]

Here's the fact Derevko wants two million dollars, whatever. The money's not important to me. In fact, I don't need I don't need a single dollar.

[01:24:38]

I don't I don't think you were getting a dollar. What do you mean? I think it was just you. I think he saw Jose Canseco made over a million dollars. He's like, oh, I'll do it for two million dollars. Yeah, but you weren't going to get any money. Well, no, I would I would absolutely be getting some money in the way that this would be drawn up, don't get me wrong. But I'm going to forfeit that.

[01:24:57]

I'm going to say I will kick his ass for free. I will kick his ass. If he agrees to delete his Twitter account, I want to wipe them off the face of the Internet. He would feel like I am I'm fighting for not just myself, but everybody that's had to wake up to revolt tweeted out a video and k of JFK getting his skull blown off. I'm doing it for everybody that's ever been knocked on to their professor by terrible.

[01:25:20]

I want him I want his Twitter accounts and that's it. That's all that I need to beat him up and I'm a million percent confident I can do it.

[01:25:28]

He OK, two things. One, he'll never do that, ever. You know that, right? Well, we need to make sure that there's a reason why he does not pull Jose Canseco and take a dive because you're never going to sprain my I my nose.

[01:25:42]

He would never put his Twitter account up for grabs. Well, listen, he's getting two million dollars, right? I need to have some collateral, his hair is his account. It's probably two million dollars.

[01:25:55]

He would you know, he would value it at like 40 million dollars. No, I want Lulea. I want to wipe him off the face of the Internet. OK, so want I don't want my kids at your father. Do you want your children growing up in a world where d'Urbervilles posting online?

[01:26:10]

I don't know. But what I'm saying to you is what else like he I'm telling you right now, he's not going to do this. There's no chance in the world he would put his Twitter account up for deletion and figure Turbeville to be a coward.

[01:26:25]

And if he did, he would find some loophole that it would not like. We'd all be unsatisfied. He's the king of loopholes. Remember that? Like, my first my first thought when I saw him say he would fight for two million dollars is that Darren Rovell would get in the ring and literally sprint around for three minutes straight. He is pretty quick. Yeah, not getting hit. And then and then, as everyone called him, a coward, he'd be like, whatever people have called me much worse on line.

[01:26:53]

I'm two million dollars richer. Ha ha ha ha. That's what he wants to do. He wants Darren Ravell at all times, wants to just get over on people and find a loophole so he can be like, well, actually. So that's my first problem. My my second is I don't I do not think he would ever do the Twitter thing. So you got to think about what would be I think I should do it for free. I don't want to negotiate against yourself, but kicking his ass if we put in a closet, daredevil can't run around like a good faith clause with with iron clad, like he has to stand there.

[01:27:26]

And I don't know, maybe it's he has to take a certain amount of punches or throw a certain amount of punches.

[01:27:30]

You would kick the shit out of him because it was already he's already agreed to the Twitter account thing. We don't need to negotiate anymore. He says, I won't do you so badly.

[01:27:41]

I tweeted that I want to, but you know, that's not he is the king of loopholes. Pfft. We got to think listen, we got to think ahead of this because you know how he is.

[01:27:51]

I, I don't want to negotiate against myself, cat. Right. Right now what you're doing is you're you're taking away the possibility that maybe we will have a fight for sure. That is the best promotion that anybody could ever hope for. Can you imagine how many people would want to watch a fight knowing that their rivals Twitter account could be wiped off the face of the earth forever? Of course, if that were if that were on the table, if he actually would do, it would be the greatest thing ever.

[01:28:15]

I'm telling you, we got to think smarter than that. I think loopholes I said he said for two million dollars I will fight.

[01:28:22]

By the way he came at me. I didn't come at him. I said, you get money if you win, Darrin, if I win, you simply have to delete your Twitter account forever. And then he replied to that, I can't wait to crack those sunglasses off. That's not saying that he that he agrees to that deal.

[01:28:38]

But, you know, he didn't say no. He left.

[01:28:42]

You can't fall into Ravell traps. You're lying to avoid traps. We can we can burn that bridge when we get there.

[01:28:48]

Right now, what you're doing is you're taking away the possibility that this could ever happen before I get started. I want that.

[01:28:53]

No, I want no, that's I that is my term. No, no, no, no.

[01:28:57]

I'm not taking away the possibility. I'm saying I'm OK with the possibility. I'm telling you realistically, probably would never do it. But we need to actually have him write it down. It has to be written and notarized and all that shit because he is the king of loopholes. He's the he's the biggest weasel of all the weasels. Every tweet that he's ever tweeted in his entire life has been so that someone can try to correct him and then he can come over the top and correct them.

[01:29:22]

You know, that, you know, that's that's what he lives off of. So he is just setting little traps left and right to try to get us in these. Well, actually, and that's not what I said. And actually, why don't you read the words and all these things that we can't we can't let him have that because that's all he wants to do.

[01:29:40]

OK, two options. I'll give him two options. He can pick one. First, you delete your Twitter account if I beat you. Second, if I beat you, you have to renounce your North-Western alumnus. You are no longer a graduate of Northwestern University.

[01:29:56]

And with that, you have to give me your degree. I take over your status as an alumni of Northwestern University. You're not allowed to claim you're not allowed to cheer for. I'm not allowed to hold the little wind bar when they run out into the field. You're not allowed to tweet at Greaney and get ignored by the king and the stud's Mike Greenberg whenever they win a big game. I take over your degree.

[01:30:16]

That said, yes, to sell everything to you has to sell all of his Northwestern paraphernalia, gear, everything to the lowest bidder.

[01:30:23]

And you said that you're going to knock my sunglasses off and guess what? I stepped into the ring. The sunglasses are coming off. That's all. That's it. If this take him up on his challenge to you, big cat in tennis, he said that will have nothing. He challenge you to tennis after you beat him in basketball? I'll take him up on that.

[01:30:41]

If this falls through, you'll be we go now because you've you've stared in the eyes of Darren in the midst of an athletic competition. What what's going through his head right now? How much of a competitor he is going through his head?

[01:30:54]

Right this second, he's like, this is the greatest thing ever. I got these guys to talk about me. No, he's not listening because of this, but that's what's going through his head. Somebody is sending its own. I also I want to throw out there.

[01:31:07]

So, Jake, you have that tennis? I, I still have Darren has challenged me to a mile race, and I he said anywhere, any time. So if this fight actually happens, I will just challenge him to the mile race right before the fight.

[01:31:20]

Yeah. All right. After though, right before he has to run a mile and then get in the ring and just kick the shit out of him.

[01:31:26]

I like that after I knock him out as his body's unconscious on the mat, like go.

[01:31:32]

Yeah, I, I just hate him and I know he's such a weasel, so I just really wish he'd ended this this way. If he's serious about it, if he's actually serious about it, he should get in touch with Erica and Dave and they will start like the negotiations. Like if he's actually serious about doing this, then let's talk because I mean, clearly we've shown that we can do it. We've shown we can get it done. So let's fucking talk and then stop tweeting about it.

[01:32:02]

Let's start fucking doing it.

[01:32:04]

My price is negligible. My price doesn't even count. In the grand scheme of this, you have basically a zero dollar commitment to me. So, Darren, it's all up to you if you really want to make this happen, if you want to get your face beaten on national television for a Lesli and God and the whole world and bring it on, buddy, because I got I got my brand right here and still leave some impressions on your face, bitch.

[01:32:22]

I think you should actually just do the respect just to beat him in fucking sunglasses, which should be hilarious. I got even worse. That would be like way worse to get beat up by a guy who's wearing sunglasses to a cool. You should put on like a backwards hat in the ring too.

[01:32:36]

I should I should smoke with a leather vest, jeans, cowboy boots, as casual as you can make all kinds of magazine.

[01:32:47]

Yeah, we do you to fight. It wouldn't even be a fight.

[01:32:52]

Jesus Christ. All right. Well if it happens, I really do. Yeah, I do too. I really do too. I'm just I am petrified of the well actually Ravell and how he exists. So I don't want to let him weasel out of any of this shit. And if it does happen, there better be a clause that he can't run because that was my. Do you think my knee jerk reaction was correct? He wanted this fight and then sprint around and then be like, I don't care, I made two million bucks.

[01:33:16]

You guys are all losers. I made two million bucks.

[01:33:19]

Yeah, that's exactly what it is. He's Andy Kaufman. Without the comedy, he'll just, like, try to perfect everybody, hate him and then get into a car and drive away. But yeah, perfect little girl. You can do whatever you want. So we got Mike Portnoy on the case. So, Mike, get to work. Dried up some some ironclad legal framework on this, buddy. Yeah.

[01:33:37]

And he doesn't have a serious show anymore, so he's ready to go. All right, guys, on chicks. Hanks You ready to go?

[01:33:43]

Hey, boys, especially big boy Billy. My boyfriend and I go to a super Catholic school, and they made a rule that girls cannot go in guys dorms claiming that it's because of coronavirus, but really because they hate sex having people.

[01:33:55]

My boyfriend won't bend the rules because he doesn't want to get expelled. Do I break up with him or go an entire semester not having sex in beds? Please help. I think you got to just not have sex in bed, you really need to explore the campus like college campuses are known for two things. One, having very friendly squirrels wherever you go and to a lot of different nooks and crannies that you can bone in.

[01:34:18]

Yeah, library stacks.

[01:34:20]

Every library has a stack that's just filled with people fucking all the time. I don't even think that they use those parts, those weird parts of the libraries with like the softcover green books that are all dusty. No one actually goes there. Just have sex.

[01:34:32]

Yeah. I think yeah. You just just make it a semester long treasure hunt. Of sex or find a guy who owned fucking bed and then that's technically not cheating, actually, because your boyfriend refuses to do it in bed. So that's not on you. I think that's stealing another podcast material, but hey, girls, we're cheating in 20, 21.

[01:34:59]

This may be a movie plot. I'm sure someone will let us know after the fact.

[01:35:02]

But let's just let's just choose to believe, hey, WUFT, Somkiat and Hank the tank, some background. I'm a 37 year old woman with two kids this summer. I hooked up with an 18 year old from my work, and it was the best sex I've had in my whole life. So good that I went back for seconds. A week later, we fucked on the beach under the moonlight. The first time it was so magical. We've since grown apart, but since I felt a little weird about fucking someone that could be sending my kid.

[01:35:28]

But I have this strong feeling for him and I've heard he has them from me too.

[01:35:32]

What do you think I should do? Is that a plot to a movie? I think it's a plot to like a bunch of movies probably, but it sounds more likely that this was just written by a real horned up 18 year old guy that has like a crush on his neighbors, 37 maybe. He's like wave to once or twice is like in my in my most beautiful fantasy. We're making love under the moonlight and on a beach. And then she's thinking about leaving her husband for me and ditching it all.

[01:35:56]

So I think that's the way I'm going to go with it.

[01:35:59]

Yeah. Yeah. This feels don't do it either. I don't even know which side what side was written from. The the the MILF, yeah, oh, it's you know, it's not a it's not a movie theater. This is Jerry Thornton blog.

[01:36:20]

Are you OK? Yeah. Oh fuck.

[01:36:28]

Hello. So I was told by my boyfriend to Texas.

[01:36:30]

No, regarding a recurring argument we have every time my boyfriend goes to the bathroom, no one he refuses to wipe. He's repeatedly told me that he gets it all up. I just shaking it. But sometimes he walks away with a little dribble on his pants wipe do this or is he gross and should wipe again. I'm not really sure who I'm texting, but he keeps telling me the boys will know what's up.

[01:36:50]

Thanks for your. Yeah. Tony Romo will also like what this can't this isn't real. Right.

[01:36:57]

I think she's talking about wiping your penis. Yes. Why do you like your penis after you pee?

[01:37:02]

Do you think there's someone out there who does it? Because, I mean, yeah, has to be. The odds are there's got to be someone who takes one single square and wipes the tip of their dick after they.

[01:37:11]

Steven Chase. Steven Chu. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:37:14]

I would say, like most baseball writers probably do. Ken Rosenthal. That's what the handkerchief that he always has in his front pocket, the pocket square and tab the tip of his penis after piece.

[01:37:27]

All right. And last one. Hey, Somkiat compter honk and Billy Mayweather. I recently noticed that my boyfriend still uses his ex accounts for Netflix, Amazon, Hulu and basically every other service. He claims it's because he doesn't have to pay for them, which makes sense. I've offered him my accounts, though, and he denies.

[01:37:45]

Should I be worried? Hmm.

[01:37:47]

No, I guys like change.

[01:37:49]

Yeah, we don't like us process having to memorize another person's new passwords for everything that would suck. So no, as long as you know it, Netflix should do. If they were smart they would include like a little like encrypted messaging service within the app. So you can like message to the other people that use it. So for all the people that like, stay in touch with their exes, like drop them, drop an occasional nude as a thank you for being like, hey, I appreciate you.

[01:38:14]

Let me use your Netflix account last three years. Here's a picture of my testicles.

[01:38:18]

Yes. Yes, I like that. Yeah. Just let them let them let them do it. And also shut out this person who submitted it, calling them Billy Mayweather.

[01:38:26]

I love that. I love that. He is busy with Mayweather that but budget paper Bubis for a fight that doesn't live up to the hype.

[01:38:35]

Oh, hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Not sorry.

[01:38:43]

If you want to go, what's kind of rough and rowdy and fuck you up at least at least, you know, I don't want to fight things, you know, believe on help fight.

[01:38:54]

Bill, you finally did it feel like you knocked him out? Tell us how it felt.

[01:38:58]

You just. Well, I'm going, guys. I got to go. You won the fight. Yeah, you will.

[01:39:04]

And I just love. You mean that also is so planned. That was such a play. And I'm upset, but I'm really like.

[01:39:11]

I would imagine. Yeah, I would imagine some guy named Troy just fucking threw a Coors Light off off camera like Billy.

[01:39:19]

He got to Texas.

[01:39:20]

His VIP table at Hooters is ready to go. So he's he's on his way out the door.

[01:39:24]

Billy's at the hotel where my high school prom was fun fact. That is fun. Quick numbers, 1814. Oh, you wait, Jake. Do you have it? I have the history, yeah. Oh, no, I, I got the random generator check.

[01:39:39]

Can you look up a funny animal fat. Yeah. Eight eight six fourteen. Snail can sleep for three years. Random number generator is a fun fact. All right, everyone's got it, everyone's got the numbers since ninety nine. Ninety nine. Oh, that's wrong. That's my guess. It's about 90.

[01:40:07]

Oh, that was the answer.

[01:40:10]

September twenty nine. That's the first time we had 90.

[01:40:14]

There we go. All right. See you boys on. Oh, Dungeons and Dragons coming back on Friday. Let's go.

[01:40:20]

Also, Hank, you might want to text Billy. I think he's very upset at you. Oh, fuck that. I love you guys. Don't care.

[01:40:29]

We can we can get him to say that fucking fight story a billion times for. We're talking. We don't know what to say to find Charlotte coming to you live. Keep shying away. I'm coming for you, love, OK? Take me. Take me up.

[01:41:17]

I'll be. Needless to say, I set it up, so it's OK to say to me it's better to be safe, so say to me it's better to be safe. It's taken me to stay here. Oh, Google. I that it's taken a lot of justice to be able to wade do all the things I've got to remember. Know I'll be coming for you anyway and I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me. Take me.

[01:42:28]

I'll be gone. I'll be gone in a.