Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

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On today's part of my Take, we have an awesome in studio interview with Brandon Marshall and Cam Newton. Had a great time with both the guys. Talked about everything, their careers, their media ventures. Cam's run at Auburn. Awesome interview. Then we're going to talk week 13 picks and preview and the crown jewel of Sunday, the Niners versus Eagles. We also have fire fest fantasy. Fuck boys. Great Friday show sending you to a great football weekend. It's all brought to you by our friends at Game Time. Shouldn't have to worry when you're buying tickets to your next big event. Game Time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all sports, music, comedy and theater events near you. It's kind of frustrating when you buy tickets and you can't trust them and you're like, hey, where am I going to sit? Game Time has it all set up. I've used game time for everything. Baseball tickets, football tickets, comedy shows, concerts, everything. They make sure that you have the best experience possible. You know where you're going to sit, you know the deal's locked in. If something happens. They'll make sure that you got new seats.

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By now in the street there is violence and then a lot of work to be done no place to hang out or washing and then I can't name all on the sun oh, no, we got a rock down to Electric Avenue and then we're taking higher oh, we gonna rock down to Electric it's.

Part of my take isn't about Barcelona sports.

Welcome to part of my take. Today is Friday, December 1, and is Dak Prescott the NFL MVP?

I was about to say congratulations to the Dallas Cowboys for winning the Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl. The Super Bowl. I don't know if I'm going to go that far.

This is perfect because Dallas fans are so confident right now, as they should be. You're a good team, but you're basically the same team that you've been or that you were last year, at least. Yeah, Mike McCarthy is the same guy that he was last year. He almost blew that into the game thing. Yes, he almost did. With that pass to the end zone, stopped the clock, gave him a lot more time. That would have been something we would be discussing right now if it didn't work out. But the Cowboys are good enough. Like CD. Lamb is a fucking beast and they're good enough offensively. Their defense came up big when it mattered, even though there were no punts tonight. They didn't support a single punt and they didn't have to punt. The Cowboys played a good game. But I do love I'm getting excited since I can't root for the Commanders to do anything special this year. I am finding myself just rooting more and more for the expectation for Dallas Cowboys fans to get higher and higher and higher and then end in ultimate heartbreak.

But hold on a second. You just said they're the same team as last year. Dak Prescott's playing way better than last year.

He is better than last year.

He is playing out of his like. And I know he probably won't win the MVP because the MVP is going to go to the one seed they'd have to jump. The Eagles jalen Hurts also playing very good football. I'm just saying, Dak Prescott, I mean, he's playing phenomenal, phenomenal football.

Hank.

You're a Cowboys fan? I saw your friend is a Cowboys fan. Yes. TIFF.

TIFF.

Shout out. TIFF.

Dak is awesome right now. There's just no way to he's taking care of the football. Last year, he finished the season. I know he was injured for a few games, but he finished the season 23 touchdowns, 15 interceptions. This season through week 13, he's 23 touchdowns, six interceptions. He's having an awesome, awesome year and he's up there for MVP. If they could figure out a way I mean, it all sets up now because if the Niners could somehow beat the Eagles on Sunday, next week becomes a colossal game between the Eagles and Cowboys.

We're going to find out how many points the bank is worth?

That's what we're going to find out. But yeah, the Cowboys offense is humming. They have so many weapons. It feels like they finally last year, a couple of years ago, it felt like they didn't have the complimentary cooks. Brandon Cooks. Is he's back?

I also think a couple years ago, they were in this pattern where they had to run Ezekiel Elliott more than they should have.

Yeah.

Because Jerry was paying him so much money. And Jerry's like, hey, this is my star running back. Let's give him the ball. And it became pretty clear, at least last year that Pollard was a better option for him at running back when he was in the game.

Yeah.

So they were, like, forcing the ball to Ezekiel. Now they don't have to worry about that anymore. Their wide receivers are dynamic. They've got a good tight end.

Yeah.

Jake Ferguson is awesome. He was a beast tonight. The Seahawks middle of their defense was just getting gashed. And so I do want to talk about the Seahawks in a second. The one thing that would make me nervous, and maybe you can just say, hey, that was a little off. Weird, weird setup. The Cowboys defense, which they have know that has been the thing that they've been resting on for a couple years now, did not look great tonight, and it was against. If you want to look through the Cowboys season, you could make the fraud case and the fact that they have really kicked the shit out of some bad teams and some bad quarterbacks, and when they face good quarterbacks, their defense does not look the same. That did happen tonight. I mean, Gino had a good night.

I'm not making the fraud case against the Cowboys. I think the Cowboys I think the Cowboys are a great team. They're one of the teams that could win the Super Bowl right now. I'm just saying, like, I'm putting a lot of my sweat equity and my mental well being in the fact that I'm just imagining a world where they have a very heartbreaking end of their.

Oh, that will most likely is the Cowboys feel different this year. Just in the fact that Dak Prescott is playing a lot better and he has to prove it still. But he is playing better than he was last year, and it feels know, if he can keep elevating his game, who knows? Max, you're you're shaking. Your you you blame this loss on, uh yeah.

I mean, you changed the whole vibes of the game.

But that's because I told him he had to come into the gambling cave because we were watching the game in the gambling cave, and we would just hear Max. For people who think that Max is doing a shtick, it's not because he was sitting in the editor's bay where guys were working and we would hear him from around the corner just screaming like, that's a flag, and shit like that. So I was like, hey, you got to come sit in the gambling cave. And then I don't think the Seahawks scored again.

Were they the Seahawks winning when you did?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I don't think there was a positive play for the Seahawks.

No, I don't think so either.

Damn, that's so messed up. You did that well.

And then Big Cat tried to give me the whole he was like, oh, so you think that that really affected the game by you sitting in here rather than sitting out there? And then I actually defended you, Hank, and I was like, yeah, no, it didn't didn't you freak out at Hank for pulling no, I said last week.

Obviously it affected the game. I agree with you.

No, that is not yes, I do.

But no, but I know that it did. And then I asked Taylor Luan, who was sitting there, I was ever when you were playing in the NFL, were you ever like, man, it feels like someone switched their position on the couch. Right. Know what that rep was? Someone just did someone just put on their lucky underwear? What the fuck just happened? It affected the cowboys. The Seahawks are in trouble. They played well tonight, and it felt like this was their kind of like, hey, this is our last stand. This is our best effort.

I don't know that they're in trouble. This might be a moral loss for the Seahawks.

Well, no, they're in trouble. They're in trouble in the fact that.

A statement loss for them.

They have to play their next two games are against the Niners and the Eagles, and they can't keep losing and make the playoffs.

I think with tonight, you have to.

Win games to playoffs.

What tonight's game proved more than anything is that Thursday Night Football whoops ass as long as the teams that are playing also played on a Thursday the.

Week beforehand, and if the refs decide to throw a thousand flags to make sure every offensive possession gets all the way to a touchdown.

There were a ton of flags today, but there was some good offensive football that was played. DK had a hell of a game.

Incredible.

When he caught that first pass and took off. And they said that he reached a speed of, like, 22.6 something miles per hour. Yeah, maybe it's no, it's 22.2 mph, which is 0.2 mph faster than Tyreek Hill has been with the ball this year. And for DK to be faster than Tyreek Hill, despite the fact that he outweighs him by what do you think, 50 pounds yeah. Is insane. It's insane. That's the fastest dude in the he.

Was little boying Duran Bland.

He was yeah, Duran Bland got in sign language.

Smoked in sign language as well.

Gang signs.

I don't know.

No, I mean, Roger Dell will probably.

Be like, that's a gang sign. I'm going to find you.

No, he learned sign language.

Yeah.

Which is pretty cool if you're going to learn sign language to talk shit on your opponent. I respect that.

The Seahawks are in trouble, though.

You got to learn it.

They're six and six, and they have to play the Eagles and the niners.

Yeah.

Not a great couple games coming. Anything could happen, though.

Anything could happen. They could have it did feel like this was like, hey, we're going to put everything into this game. We got to win this game. We can't keep losing these games. They're on a three game losing streak. So yeah, it feels like it could spiral a little more. Having to go to at 49 Ers next week.

Yeah, I could see that. But also, like, the Seahawks, they find a way to win weird games. They do. If they can drag you into the mud and make you play a really strange game, they can beat you.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I was not impressed.

Bad teams.

I was not impressed with that play call at the end where they tried to run the screen on fourth down.

Well, they just didn't block the one guy you have to block.

Yeah.

Like Michael Parsons. You have to I don't could actually run a play where it's like, hey, we're not going to block anyone else except Michael Parsons. And it might work.

Yeah, I think in theory, a screen could work if you're just banking on them sending everybody at you, and then you could get a big chunk of yardage off that screenplay. The problem with running a screen there is that Michael Parsons is faster than almost every single other edge defender in the NFL. So if you don't even chip him or get in his way, make him, like, take a half step to the outside, he's going to get in Gino's face.

Yes. That was a sad way to end the game. Anything else before we get to week 13? Oh, thank you to everyone. Spotify wrapped. That's always cool. I mean, it's always, like, crazy to see how much time people spend with us because we're fucking idiots.

There was some insane numbers.

This everyone that appreciate everyone. Even if you're not listening on Spotify, if you're listening on Apple, if you listen on Amazon, if you listen on Google, if you're listening on YouTube, we love you all.

It was very humbling to see all that. It always this many people spend this much time listening to my thoughts. And really that many people are super well versed in all the weird shit that's going on with this podcast. Yeah, it blows my mind to think.

About thank you to everybody. Every year we know Spotify Raps is coming. And every year I'm like, oh, my. Like, this is crazy.

That's a lot.

I think maybe one of the good things about this show is that at the end of the day, it does kind of still feel like our lives haven't changed that much. It feels like we're just sitting with our friends and talking. So when we have these moments where it's like, oh, shit. The numbers are that big, it's always like, Damn.

Hundred countries.

Like, you could tell me no one's listening to the show. I'd be like, I'll keep doing it.

A hundred countries?

Yeah.

Hundred countries. What was the craziest country?

Did I not send you guys this?

No, it was an email. Because if it was, I did not read. Hank's been sending off a lot of emails recently. You're the email king of this office.

Someone stole some golf clubs. No, Hank sent an email being like, we're about to go through the tapes.

That was just a come forward, smoke out. It ended up being an ironic twist of fate. The control room person who needed to.

Go through the tapes interesting. Had taken them.

It was one club. There's a couple of clubs that were missing. One of the clubs he accidentally had in his bag.

That's the perfect crime. The guy that would be in charge of reviewing it, he's like, hey, wait.

I know this guy. It was Pete. What the fuck?

Yes, Pete.

Okay, so I understand that there's a lot of people in 100 countries listening.

Top episode stephen A. Smith.

If you are in Eastern Europe, please tweet at all business Pete to stop stealing golf clubs.

25% of new fans discovered you in 2023.

Okay, let me see this country.

I'm getting to it.

I'm getting to it.

I'm getting to it.

How does it feel to have gone global?

Great.

You were streamed in 102 countries.

102. How many countries are there?

Bulgaria was your top country. Bulgaria, united States is your top country.

There are 195 countries.

Wow.

More than half of the world.

Listens to this.

Canada, Austria, Ireland, Japan, Colombia.

Colombia. What's up? That was probably Jackie tables on vacation bags.

Guess what the I like this one. This one actually surprised me.

Fuck. Go back, go back, go back.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Your listeners top music genre.

Taylor Swift.

It's drill.

Drill music.

Taylor Swift isn't a genre.

No rap.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Okay.

We should be in the Culture Department.

What's up? What's up? All right.

Well, yeah.

Seriously, though, thank you to everyone. We don't take it for granted. We never do. It's pretty crazy.

Yeah.

I love shared episode was life.

Oh, love that.

It's good.

Love that I'm all out of to think of. Maybe we'll do it again, though, because we have Titus here.

Well, there's also other people on this podcast that could have.

Could you could you could good. All right, well, let's kick it to ourselves. Picks and preview, and then Cam Newton and Brandon Marshall. Incredible show, incredible interview with both those guys here's ourselves. Okay. Weekend preview brought to you by our friends at Uber Eats. Get everything delivered with Uber eats. It's football season. You can now get almost anything you need for game day delivered with Uber Eats. What do you mean by almost? Well, let me tell you. Running backs, no. Ribs? Yes. Offensive offsides, no. Olive oil? Yes. O line, no. OJ, yes. Pet supplies for Blake and Stella. That's a big yes. There you have it. Get almost anything for game day delivered with Uber Eats. Official on demand delivery partner of the NFL. Alcohol and select markets in 21 plus to order. Product availability may vary by region. C app for details. I used Uber eats last Sunday. Got myself some snacks. I got some chips. I got some Reese's sticks. Remember, Hank, we got that for the boys candy. Uber Eats get almost almost anything. Order now with Uber eats. It is the best. So get it now. Uber eats almost anything. Okay.

Week 13. Week 13.

Boy, I don't like the sound of Week 13.

I know.

I just don't, because now we're putting the word teen in there and that sounds a whole lot like week 18.

Yeah, we're in our teens now. Okay. So Sunday feels like we have a little bit not the best sleep, but the Eagles 49 ers game, which we'll get to, is definitely the crown jewel of this weekend.

I like that. The crown jewel.

The crown jewel.

You like that?

That's going to be the game that everyone's going to be focused on the afternoon.

Yeah, the crown jewel of the weekend. We will live stream it. Max, you got any flights or anything he's not on?

How's the foot, Max?

Foot's good.

I will be okay.

Great. Ready to roll. All right, so let's get into the Sunday slate. Let's start. I ordered them in how I thought what are you going to say, Hank? You say anything. I ordered them in the games that I thought were the most appealing. And again, it's not like the most appealing slate to start, but that's okay because that's usually chaos. Lions at Saints. Lions at Saints.

Dan Campbell said he's not going to just yell louder. They're going to have a plan. I think he should have a new plan and also yell louder at his.

Best of both worlds. Yeah. This is going to be a true test to the Lions. I feel like they're at a crossroads because they've had two bad games. The Bears was a bad game even though they won and the packers was a bad game on Thanksgiving. Are they a real team in the NFC? Can they go down and beat the Saints who are very injured? I think it's michael Thomas is out. Alave's in the concussion protocol. She's got a thigh injury. Cam Jordan is banged up. Marshawn Latimore is out.

Wait.

You say Michael Thomas is out?

Michael Thomas is out.

Shut the fuck up.

Never believe it. We also have a little discord. Discord.

We have discourse.

Discourse.

No.

Discourse.

Acrimonious discourse.

Is it discord?

There can be discord.

Discourse is like it's talking, but discord is bad.

Discord.

We've got a website, Hank. It's an application.

Discord.

Boomer.

I mean, you could type in Discord.com. Is that not a website?

Well, you shouldn't be typing in any websites right now, Mr. Hacked.

Discourse. Written or spoken, communication or debate.

Yeah, but what about discord?

Yeah, there can be discord.

Yes.

Does that mean it's bad?

Right.

Discord.

Disagreement between so he okay, so the Saints have some discord. Happy we got that cleared up. Alvin Camara, after Sunday's game, said.

The.

Offense for the Saints doesn't have an identity. And then Dennis Allen said on Monday, I think we have explosive players on offense. I think we prove we can be explosive on offense, essentially saying the offense is explosive. They're 19th in scoring, so they do.

Have explosive players, but that seems to also imply that they don't have an identity. If you answer, do you have an identity? By saying, well, parts of our team have an identity.

Yeah.

That means you don't have an identity.

Right.

It's like we've got good parts, but the whole thing, if you look at it, you just don't know what we are.

Do you have a car? Well, I have a tire. Yeah, I got a seat and a seatbelt.

I've got a lot of gas.

Yeah.

Do you have a car, though? No, you do not have a car.

Well, they do have a car, actually.

Yeah, they do.

But when you look at the same Saints and this division as a whole, the NFC South, I have a prediction about this division.

Okay.

We're going to see whoever wins the NFC South will not fire their coach going into next season.

Agreed.

Every other team will.

Okay, so we already have the Panthers.

We got the Panthers. They're out saints. They're going to fire.

Yeah, no, that's right.

The Bucks should fire Tod bowles. Todd bowles. If they don't make it Top ten coach on the hunt out there. And then the Falcons probably I think that they might fire Arthur. I'm not saying that they should.

Well, they're going to win the NFC.

They are going to win. But if they don't actually, I'm not going to entertain hypotheticals.

I like that thought, though, because I think you're right.

But it also makes for, I think, hopefully better football from every team in that very sad division going down the stretch, because every coach we can say the entire NFC South is coaching for the job.

It actually be fun if divisions did, like league meetings, like the NFC South got together and like, hey, guys, we got to be better.

Yeah, it's a joke. Annie Agar does that.

Yeah, that's right. She does. Okay. Yeah. I like the Lions this game mostly because the Saints rush defense has kind of fallen off a cliff. They've been getting gashed 228 yards last week. Against the falcons. I feel like the Lions might with Jared's Mini slump, they might be like, hey, let's just run the ball down their throat. And then we'll just do play action and then we'll win the game.

I would like to see the Lions win this by double digits.

Yeah.

Because I really would. With all the injuries that we've listed and Alvin Camaro saying we don't have an identity, I just don't know. The Lions defense is bad, but the Saints offense is worse. So it's like, you should be able to stop them. They don't have a ton of guys that can beat you.

I actually agree 100% that they don't have an identity.

Right.

When everyone on the team seems to like the backup quarterback more than the starting quarterback, that is an issue, and that's what it feels like. So I went back, there was an alternate angle of Ludicrous repelling from the ceiling yeah. With Jamie landing at the 50 yard line, which, again, Ludicrous it feels weird to say that he's underrated, but I feel like Ludicrous has gotten more underrated in the last, like, five years.

I agree.

But, yeah, he's the best. So he's repelling. Down singing. Move, bitch. And then James Winston is getting all up in Derek Carr's face, like singing Move, bitch to him. I think he was doing it to hype up Derek Carr. But also, at the same time, when your backup quarterback is telling your starting quarterback, move, bitch, repeatedly, the starting quarterback starts to interpret that in a different way.

Jameis has never been a read the room guy.

No.

That's not his strength.

Really? Read anything. Read a linebacker.

No.

It's not like getting the temper mature of a room and being like, hey, I shouldn't do this. Shouldn't eat a w. Shouldn't stand up on a table, say, Fuck him right in the pussy. That kind of stuff.

Yeah.

Fuck her. Right.

Fuck her right in the yeah.

So, okay, maybe yeah, read the room. Like, he's never even read a stadium before. He went out dressed in his pads before a game.

Exactly.

Coach was like, hey, Jamie's, you're suspended.

That's why we love him.

Yeah.

That's why we love Jamie.

That's exactly why we love him.

Great clip, though.

It was a great clip.

It to me. Surpassed Drew Locke Rapping to Yeezy or to Jeezy with Jeezy on the sideline.

Jeezy. Yeah.

Okay. Nerd nugget.

The Lions have produced at least 325 net yards in all eleven games this season for the first time in team history. No other team has an active streak of more than five games with 325 total.

Hang the banner.

Okay.

Good job, Lions.

Yards.

Yards.

Yard leaders.

Yards, yard kings.

But we got a lot of yards.

Sounds like a great name for a mower. The yard king.

Or like a good giveaway at a minor league park.

Yeah.

Be the yard king.

Yeah.

You get to come down. We're going to do the yard king giveaway?

Like, right behind home plate and you.

Wear a crown and a lawn chair?

Yeah, a lawn chair that's got jewels and shit on it.

The yard king.

I'm the yard king.

Yeah.

The Savannah bananas are definitely going to steal that from us. Okay. Broncos at Texans. Good game. Important game.

I say. Great game.

Yeah.

I say this might be the crown jewel of the morning.

Oh, so it's an important game. The Broncos, if they win on Sunday, have a 64% chance of making the playoffs, which is wild to say, given where they were at the end of September. If they lose, they go down to 21% and the Texans, similar, 54%. If they win, 18%. If they lose, it's a loser leaves town game. The loser of this game will be under 25% chance to make the playoffs.

I'd say loser moves to the suburbs.

Yeah.

They can still get back in if they want, because I looked at the Broncos schedule. It's not the easiest thing in the world. But if they lost this game, I could still see them win. I think they're probably going to lose one more at least. And things can shake out differently, obviously, over the course of the last few weeks. But, yeah, I don't think that the Broncos are totally out of it. They've won, what, five in a row right now?

Five in a row.

Five in a row since October 22. They've beaten the Packers, Chiefs, Bills, Vikings, and Browns. I'm going to put an asterisk on the Browns win, too, because that wasn't a real football team that we saw last week after DTR got hurt.

Yeah. So you brought up those teams, and that was what I'm thinking about this game. So the Broncos have righted, the ship. They've looked a lot better. They've also been getting a shitload of turnovers, 16 turnovers in the last five games in that stretch. And I was thinking about it. I was like, I wonder how turnover prone those teams that they beat. So the Browns, Vikings, Bills, Chiefs are all at the bottom of the league in terms of giving up the football. They have the most turnovers, and the Browns and Vikings are actually the worst and second to worst.

Okay.

So they had a string of games where they played teams that are careless with the football. They were able to greatly benefit from that. The Texans, on the other hand, are pretty good with the football.

CJ.

Stroud obviously started his season without any turnovers for the first whatever it was, six, seven games. That's kind of why I like the Texans. I feel like the Broncos, it's been very nice. But when the fumbles and the picks stop, it's like, okay, do they have the offense to get these sustained drives? Can they do it when it's not a start? The drive at the 50 start the drive at the opponent's 40.

Let me ask you.

A question, though. Big Cat let's take it one layer deeper on that analysis. Are those teams ranked as being so careless with a football because they've played the Browns and the Browns took away the football from them?

No.

The broncos.

Broncos. The broncos took away.

Well, that's part of them. But they also have a lot of turnovers.

Yeah, Mahomes had a bunch of turnovers.

The Vikings have had a lot of turnovers. The Browns have had a lot of turnovers. Like in other games, their quarterback situation has led to a lot of turnovers.

Right.

So the Broncos defense, in addition to the turnovers, are also averaging, giving up just 16 points a game in the last five weeks.

Yeah, it went from 36 to 16.

They're legitimately good. There's no tank. Dell for Houston this weekend.

Yeah.

So I kind of like the Broncos.

I know.

I like CJ. Stroud. We are Straud boys. But I feel like I don't know the Broncos. If the Broncos win this game, I'm going to get reckless with my Broncos takes. And I've been already like I've been hitting the median a little bit. I'm going to go fully off the road with my bronco.

The nice thing about this game is I don't really have a rooting interest in either. I like both teams kind of, you know what mean? Like if either of these teams made it to playoffs, I'd be like, that's. Like the Broncos would be a fun Wilson, you know, putting it all back together.

CJ.

Stroud's obviously been one of the best stories of this year. So I think I'm okay with either team winning. It's not one team that I'm like. I don't want to see this team in the playoffs.

I think that what we might have here is a coach of the year bowl. Maybe the winner of this game.

Shane Steichen, though.

Still shane Steichen.

That's one of my votes.

You can always say I don't think.

Can win coach of the year.

You don't think so he should win comeback coach of the year.

Come back coach from the beginning of.

The year for how he yeah. And also coming back.

Yes, that too.

So the Texans have never beaten just put I've got one thing that I'm going to say about each game where I'm trying to steal Jake's Nerd nugget. I love it.

I've been doing that, too. But it's great.

Was that it, Jake?

No, I mean, you guys were close about the turnovers, but I have a little extra sprinkle.

All right, go ahead.

Give us a sprinkle.

So the Broncos are now number one in the NFL and takeaways. And their best turnover differential is right now plus eight. Since 2005. They're plus 20.

See, I'm saying fumble luck, ball luck. If it runs out, you got to try to time it. We talked about that.

Hank.

Remember this? That Hank did not like that.

Hank doesn't believe in luck turnover.

Luck, turnover. Luck is a real thing.

You don't believe in weather?

No.

The ball bounces. Like, there's times when the ball will bounce. It's like, oh, it went right into someone else's hands, or it didn't. There is an element of luck that comes into turnovers. Tip balls.

Yeah.

If there's, like, a cornerback that tries to make an interception, and he should, and it bounces off his hands, and we're like, that's where he plays defense. Most cornerbacks would make that pick. There's elements of but it's not like a data point. I think it is a very definition of a data point.

Yeah.

I think it's a small sample size.

Everyone kind of regresses to the mean where it's like there's certain turnover plays.

That okay.

That was expected to be a you could you could have a team that just recovers all their fumbles.

I can understand why Hank doesn't believe in turnover luck. Because when Mac Jones throws interception, he throws a fucking interception.

That's true. There's no luck involved.

No luck at actually, it's turnover skill. And Mac Jones is very good at it.

He is. Okay. Next game. Colts of titans. Jonathan Taylor's out. That sucks. Thumb injury.

Feels like a Mike Varable game tonight.

I know.

Will Levis at home has been good. It does feel like a Mike Varable game.

It feels like a variable special right now.

What uniforms are they wearing? They're not doing their throwback skin.

Are they?

The Titans? No, I don't think so.

Okay.

I'm going to guess that they're going to wear some combination of blue, gray, and slightly a color that's in between gray and blue.

I like the Titans uniforms in general.

You do?

Yeah.

No, I disagree.

Yeah, I kind of like them. All right. I don't think there's anything sunday, Titans uniform Sunday.

They're like the equivalent the uniform equivalent of ambient music, where you're just like it's just kind of study it's like.

Create a player on yeah, it's like.

Two K. It's like rain listening to raindrops in your headphones.

Yeah.

All right, well, I guess I can't find I was going to just basically base this all off of the uniforms, but yeah, I like the Titans in this game.

I do, too.

Sure. If the Colts can win, they are right now, the 7th seed.

Minshew on the road is an issue that is a I always remind myself of that. Minshew on the road.

Yeah.

All I'm seeing is, can the Titans please wear the throwbacks again? Fair. Fair.

It's a fair request.

Yeah, it's a fair request.

And listen, our gripe is not with the Titans wearing those uniforms, because the uniforms are bad, and we understand how teams work when they move cities, but I don't like the idea of going back and wearing a Houston Oilers jersey, especially when you're playing against the Houston Texans.

Right. All right. Nerd nugget for this game.

Titans running back Derek Henry has great success against the Colts in his 14 games against the division rivals, he has 7100 yard rushing performances.

Yes.

Mike Frable. Derek henry game. That's what I'm predicting.

That okay. All right, next game up, Cardinals and Steelers. Kenny pickett unlocked.

Here we go.

I didn't realize how funny the Matt Canada stats were. The fact that the last game that Matt Canada was not the offensive coordinator for the Steelers was when they lost the Browns in the playoffs and the Steelers had 523 yards of offense. And then they went two and a half years without getting over 400 yards. And then the very first game that Matt Canada was not the OC, they went over 400 yards.

Yeah.

It's insane. I just don't even understand it.

I don't get it.

That's how bad he was. You can statistically look at it. Really good offensive output. Two and a half years where they couldn't get over 400 yards, he leaves 400 yards.

Yeah.

It's just funny to me that Mike Tomlin kind of took on the Rooney's mentality with his own coordinator.

Yeah.

Where he was like, yeah, we like continuity here. Continuity sucks when the person that you're keeping continuity with is garbage.

Yeah.

That's actually a downside to continuity.

Yes.

But then again, maybe one thought to himself, like, if I start firing people, maybe the Rooneys don't even think that you can fire coaches.

Yeah.

And so if I start firing them, then they'll be like, wait, we can do this.

Yeah.

We didn't know this button was here.

I'm going to press the button. But yeah, it is very funny to see the offense. Look, they looked like a real NFL.

Offense last week, through in the middle of season.

Friarmouth, I wonder what Deontay Johnson's going to be. Is this going to be a deontay Johnson works his ass off this week to try to get rid of the film from last week.

Our Steelers insider. Jersey. Jerry said that TJ. Watt had a players only meeting, that he called to hold people accountable.

Well, I heard that there was a fight that was going on. Actually, no. That was from Adam Schefter. There was a fight that was going on. Minka Fitzpatrick and somebody else in the locker room were upset. And then TJ. Watts stepped in. He goes, hey, guys, we all need to be a team. Let's cut this out. It was an exclusive report from Adam Schefter. I don't like saw that. And then he marched straight into the workout room and started doing squats and.

Gave him some what do they do? The taco seasoning.

What's?

The El Paso?

El Paso.

Here, take some El Paso.

You remember that report from Schefter a couple years ago when he was talking about his contract? And he marched straight into Mr. Rooney's office, said, let's get this done, and then went right to the weight room?

Yeah, it's the best when Schefter tweets. Just strictly from the agent, I love TJ.

Watt in Schefter's brain. Is like an 80s movie character.

Hey.

He's Howie Long.

We all need to listen to Coach.

Yeah.

Okay, let's get on the same page. Coach is right, guys.

Yeah.

Who's the cheesiest? Is that the commercial that's always stuck in our head?

Yeah.

What's the cheesiest? Yeah. The cardinals are bad.

Who do you think JJ. Is rooting for in this matchup? Steelers.

He's got to root for the Steelers.

Got to root for the Steelers. Is there a chance that he comes.

He was he was talking about it on I think on McAfee that he was working out with the, uh he.

Did the eyeball emoji, maybe before last week's game or the week before game. I think it was last week's game, actually, in Houston. How would he, like, quote, tweeted something and did eyeball emoji? And then people were like, oh, shit. Is JJ. Watt coming back to the Texans? I think he was just like the captain. The honorary captain.

Got it.

That would be cool, though. It would be cool if he came back for just the playoffs.

I would love to see JJ. Watt play for the Steelers in the playoffs.

No, I'm saying for the Texans.

I think he's saying either way on.

McAfee that he was working out with the Texans.

Either one for the Steelers. That would make sense.

Yeah, the Steelers would be awesome. I like the Steelers in this game, even though it's stupid to take Mike Tomlin as a favorite of five and a half points or whatever it is. I just don't the Cardinals defense bad.

They're very bad. James Connor revenge game.

Yeah.

They're going to run the ball down their throat.

One note about this one. Zach Ertz got released today, as reported by insider JJ.

Watt.

Yeah.

So zach Ertz released from the cardinals. Max, congratulations. Dream team Dallas got it out with a broken forearm. Everyone's saying that he wants to sign with a contender. Congrats on getting Zach ertz back. Let me be the first to report exclusively on part of my take that the Philadelphia Eagles have signed Zach Ertz.

Dallas Goddard is going to be coming back soon, so that might not be the case. He said he was trying to play this week, but I don't think he will.

Okay, but you don't want Zach Ertz, then?

I do want Zach Ertz.

Julie, Ertz's husband.

I do want Julia Ertz's husband. But this whole thing that Goddard might be out one, maybe two more weeks. You can bring Ertz in, but I don't think he's going to be like a difference maker.

You don't think Ertz is going to be a difference maker?

Trey McBride is really good. That's why that's why it's happening. Trey McBride's.

Good.

Yeah.

For the cardinals.

Yeah.

No. I mean, Zach ertz is a philly legend, but we don't need Zach ertz right now.

Wow.

Not a difference.

Make your back on the family.

I'm not turning my back on no family.

It sounds like you kind of are.

I'm not turning my back on a family. I want Frank Reich. I was just telling you that. Give me Frank Reich.

You want Frank Reich over family to bring back?

Yeah.

That's not bad family. It's bad family, bad head coach.

He's got that Panthers stink on that's family.

You just got a panther.

You let the text just sit there and you don't respond to it because you're like, I don't want to fucking.

Max is just arguing like a six.

Year old right now.

That's not true.

I'm not arguing.

This doesn't need to be an argument. You just asked me my opinion and I gave you my opinion.

It's a bad opinion.

To each their own.

To each their own. Okay. Nerd nugget for Cardinal Steelers.

The Steelers have 124 regular season victories against the NFC since the 1970 merger, which is the most among AFC teams.

Wow.

Almost as much as Lamar Jack. That's wild.

That is wild. Yeah.

Super bowl rematch too.

Yes.

These two teams don't like each other very much throughout the record.

John Madden's last game.

Was it really?

Yeah, on and out.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was John Antonio Holmes game. I'm pretty sure that was. You can fact check me. I'll look pretty sure that was John Madden's last game. Yeah, I've told this story a million times. One of my budies decided to drink an entire bottle of Mallort and I missed the runback.

Oh, no.

Yeah, he's puking in my house.

Were you holding his hair back?

No, he disappeared. He started he's like, I'm going to try to drink this whole bottle of Malort. And then he disappeared. And then I found him in my room. He had puked in my room.

And it was just like the worst thing that's bad.

That was smelled like it was a basement apartment too. It was just so bad.

It's a great runback.

I missed the runback.

Larry Fitzgerald never gets the credit for it, but one of the all time hustle plays on his part.

Oh, is this the year where they did the split Madden cover right after the Super Bowl? Paul Amalo and Fitzgerald.

Oh, they might have.

I'm not sure what year that was.

I think it was Madden ten. So it would make sense.

Yeah, that does make sense. Okay, next up we had wait, did you do Nerd Nugget?

Yeah.

Most wins against AFC. Yes, NFC for AFC teams.

We had considered putting entire bottle of Mallor in the room with Max and Hank.

Oh, yeah.

They're live stream. Live stream. Next Wednesday we're going to do it. So everyone, this is the Mount Rushmore punishment. Max and Hank will be live for 24 hours starting Wednesday night at 09:00 p.m. Central.

Pardon my take YouTube.

Pardon my take YouTube. We have some things planned for them. They can sleep a little bit overnight if they want to. We will stay live. So tune in.

It's going to be we're also looking for someone who could maybe perm not maybe who could perm PFD's hair.

Yes.

And give him a tattoo.

And give him a tattoo. So anyone in the Chicago area who knows someone that would like to come into the office, please reach out.

That can do perms.

And tattoos.

And tattoos. Preferably both. Yeah, that would be but no, ideally different people for both those tasks. Loki I'm going to get kind of a glow up on this one. Makeover PFT.

It's going to be great, though.

I don't plan on sleeping.

It's going to be brought to you by Sell Blue. Because we're going to have a gold mug that day, too. So get excited. Get excited.

Oh, yeah.

What's the email again, Jake?

PMT. Intern@barstoolsports.com.

Okay. Dolphins and commanders. PFT I'm sorry.

Yeah.

I'm very sorry. This is going to be shit pumping, shit kicking. No two ways about it. I think that the Dolphins are going to hang a million points on us, so I just don't want to give up as many points as the Broncos, as long as we don't set any NFL records. But they're going to put up a bunch. Did you see what the Dolphins do on defense? They don't have a turnover chain. They don't have, like, a turnover plank or anything, but they have a turnover cake.

What?

So every player on the Dolphins defense that gets a turnover, they get a cake later on in the it's awesome. It's awesome.

Yeah.

So the guy was it Holland that ran back to Halem Holland? Yeah, he got a turnover cake this week.

Love it.

It's a great means to motivate your players on defense. It's like, okay, either you can wear a chain around your neck for 30 seconds on the sideline, or you get a full dessert.

Yeah.

During the that's awesome. Also, Mike McDaniels has had quite a week. Did you see the clip? He got hit in the nuts on the sideline. He was hanging on for dear life. My heart goes out to him for that moment. But he also had to correct Al Michaels report that he stole his player's girlfriend and made it his wife.

Okay. Yeah.

So Al Michaels told the story on Black Friday that Mike McDaniels, they were at, like, some team function, and then this girl was with one of the players, and he told the player, like, I'll take it from here. Otherwise you're cut. Wasn't exactly like that. But he had to come out and correct Al Michaels for that.

But, yeah, that's a very funny story to get wrong.

Yeah.

He said that they had just met, like, 45 seconds before, so it wasn't like he stole someone else's girlfriend.

Got you.

But still, very funny to have to come out and say, hey, I want to just correct one thing. The mother of my children, my wife of many years. I didn't steal her.

Yeah.

Good for Mike McDale for having people believe that for a week.

Yeah.

It's kind of a baller move.

Yeah.

I'm not optimistic, as you can tell, about the Commanders this weekend. This feels like a game that the Dolphins use as just, like, target practice. Like, let's go out there and let's open up the playbook, try a bunch of weird shit, see if we can get our defense right. I'm personally hoping for good things from the Commanders offense. I would like to see us put up some points. I'd like to see Sam Howe continue not taking sacks, continue being a good quarterback. And he's thrown for a million yards this year. I think he has the most yards of any quarterback in the NFL because they're asking him to drop back a lot, and he's shown a lot of promise. I'm still committed to Sam Howe, but I don't have good thoughts or feelings or vibes at all.

Yeah, but this could be this could be one of those games that usually when you go in expecting the worst, maybe something good happens.

Yeah, it could be.

Yeah, that's a good way to put it. And I am very dumb with my football analysis, so there's a chance I'm wrong about this, too. I would love to be wrong about this, but we don't even really get an interim bump from our defense coordinator, jack Del Rio being fired, which kind of sucks, because now it's just like, okay, Ron Rivera is going to be defensive coordinator. So you don't have, like it's not that much of a change of scenery on the defense. I would like would have loved to have Rivera get fired, but Rivera kind of did Del Rio a solid, though.

Yeah.

Like, hey, I'll just do all the work that you're doing. You're going to get paid.

Yeah, just get out of here, man.

Just leave scram you don't have to drive to Landover, Maryland every weekend. Good for you. You don't have to worry about not showering after game because we don't have any water in the locker room.

Yeah, it actually was probably like he probably was like, thanks, man. Yeah, I can go home for Christmas.

So all I want for the rest of the season is for Sam Howe to continue to be good enough to make the Commanders an attractive head coaching destination yeah.

And not get sacked.

That's all I want. And stay healthy. Stay healthy and be good enough to the point where Belichick's like, okay, I can win with this guy.

I think that's a reasonable goal. Yeah, I like that. All right, jake, your nerd.

Nugget a win on Sunday would improve Miami's record to nine and three this season, something the Dolphins haven't accomplished since 2001. Head coach Mike Mcdangal would also lock up another winning season. He'd be the third head coach in Dolphins history to have a winning record in each of his first two seasons. Joining Don Chula and Dave Wanstad.

Wow. Okay.

One more win.

That must be nice, Daniel.

All right.

I saw a very depressing stat the other day about the Commanders and how historically bad they've been through November over the last 23 years. I think their best record was one year when they had, I think, seven wins going into November, and we missed the playoffs that year. Every other season has been like, three wins, four wins, five wins, three wins, three wins, four wins, three wins. November this time of year is just generally not a good time.

It's when teams start playing real football.

Yeah.

We bow out.

Belichick said that. He said the season doesn't start till Thanksgiving.

Right?

Well, chargers are patriots.

Yes.

The season finally starts.

Season has begun.

I hope we lose.

Okay, fun fact for you, Hank. So the last time the Patriots were underdogs against an under 500 team at home was the game that Drew Bledsoe got knocked out. Wow. Started as an underdog, finished as a minus one and a half favorite against the jets. But that's how long it's been. They are five and a half point underdogs, I believe, to the Chargers, which the Patriots are really bad.

Really bad.

They're really bad. Horrible. Mac Jones is really bad, I think.

Zappi starts.

Zappy is zappy is also really bad.

Mac Jones is running scout team this week.

Okay. With all that said, and they're really, really bad. Maybe worst team. I don't know how you could bet the Chargers minus five and a half on the road because the Chargers love to not win games that they should win convincingly.

Yeah.

Brandon Staley might be motivated to beat the guy who could potentially take his.

Job, though, I guess. But I don't know if I'd take the Chargers minus five and a half against a college team on the road just out of principle.

Just the logo, the colors, the history.

Oh, they'll probably win by three.

But you know how bad the Patriots are right now? The Patriots are so bad that they got flexed out of Monday Night Football.

It was going to be the Patriots first ever.

It was going to be the first time ever.

The Patriots. The Flexagami. It was going to be the Patriots and the Chargers or, excuse me, Patriots and the Chiefs. And ESPN said, you know what? The Patriots are so bad that we don't want Taylor Swift's boyfriend to be playing in this game. That's how bad we think the ratings are going to be for the Patriots. That's an all time ever.

They're not wrong.

And honestly, I'm happy.

Yeah, no, you should be happy. Fun charger stat. 61 career starts for Justin Herbert. 1526 points scored, 1542 points allowed. Pretty damn close.

Yeah.

Well, just a couple of weeks ago.

It was dead even.

It was dead even.

Yeah.

And so updating it. I want it to stay dead even.

They have what, one more loss than with him as a starting quarterback. So by the system, they win this game.

And I think it's like something crazy. Like 20 of the last 29 Chargers games have been decided by a touchdown or less. Which leads me to my point of, like, how could you bet the Chargers? I know that the Patriots are so, so bad. This is a game you should not bet. I'm probably still going to bet it, but you should not bet.

To Hank's point. Bailey Zappia hasn't really started, though.

This could be a coming up Hank's.

Going to take or history repeats itself. And last time this happened, where there were this much of a home dog, drew Bledsoe got hurt. Tom Brady steps in.

Right.

So your starting quarterback, Bailey Zappy, gets hurt. Your backup, Mac Jones, steps in, and then he becomes the guy.

Yes.

This is the start of the DVD.

Love it, Hank. Yeah. This is bad time to be a fan of either team. But to Hank's point earlier about fumble luck, turnover luck being bullshit, the Chargers kind of back them up on that because they have been exactly as we said, even with point differential wins, losses, all that stuff, and they have the worst turnover luck of all time. But it's consistent.

They're just a bad.

With the Chargers, you can be consistently bad at having turnover luck, and it actually just means that you're bad that you're bad at football.

Yeah. Okay. Hank, you don't want to win.

No.

Okay.

I think we might, though.

That's what I'm saying.

But I don't want to.

It's like the Patriots are so bad. It has nothing to do with the Patriots, just the Chargers. Five and a half on the road, the lighthouse. Like, who's gonna stop bringing up the lighthouse? That's crazy. It shouldn't be five and a half point favorites. They're the chargers. They're disaster right now. They're on quit watch.

Yeah.

Quentin Johnson got benched last week.

I think the Patriots are on quit watch, too.

Oh, I think the patriots already quit. Because it's like I don't think quit watch.

I think quit watch they lost to Tommy DeVito.

Yeah.

Quit watch happened because going into work every day and have Belichick just reading you the riot act, that's a really good thing. If you're a great team and he's, like, motivating you to play even better to the best of your ability. But if you're a really bad team, that just makes you bummed out all the yeah, yeah.

You see the jabril peppers clip?

No. Yeah.

He hugs Saquon Barkley and he's like, you're lucky we ass.

Oh, yeah. Love it.

You're lucky we're not better because we would have beaten you if we were better at football.

Okay, Jake, your nerd nugget.

Patriots head coach Bill Belichick will coach in his 424th overall game this week that'll move past Don Shula for the third most games. Coach with one team behind. George Hallis is 506 and 454 by Tom Landry. Congrats, Coach Belichick. Win or lose, you are third place now. Most games ever with one team. Unless they fire him before Sunday.

Okay.

That'd be funny. He might take the GMU job. I heard there was a photoshop going around. Oh, he does love DC.

That's great. I saw a photoshop that's basically close.

To Annapolis, very closely.

Real.

And to Landover, where he'll also be coaching the Commanders.

Yeah.

It's going to be a busy man.

We'll dip in. Okay. Jets. Falcons of jets. Tim Boyle is worse than Zach Wilson.

Do you think so? I do think so, but he's not zach Wilson is a think.

Yeah, I know.

I don't think he's not as bad in hilarious ways as Zach Wilson is bad in unique ways.

Yeah.

He's like traditionally bad at football.

Yeah.

I don't know. This jets team is such a bummer. I think their defense is quit. Watch. Obviously Aaron Rodgers back at practice. Okay. Is he really going to play for a team that's like because they lose this week, they're almost mathematically eliminated, but they are eliminated. Memes you want him to play why would you want him to play behind this offensive line?

I slightly got my hopes up after seeing all those videos, but why? I know why. The videos would make you amped up. Because you're like, oh, that's cool, maybe we won't suck ass next year. But do you really want him back this year? Why would you be amped up for.

That if they win? He's mastered this offense. How has he mastered this offense? This is the offense he's always run.

Okay.

That's all I got.

Okay, that was not convincing. Yeah, you tried. You tried.

You understand what we're saying? He's mastered maybe the diagrams of the plays and where to throw the ball, but the offensive line is really the.

That like he's going to be on a recently repaired, very recently repaired Achilles. And it's not like they have the easiest schedule. Like they have to win out. Memes yeah.

Which isn't happening.

But what if he got hurt again? Why would you want to risk that?

Yeah, I saw a tweet that said his other Achilles has the possibility to.

Do the funniest thing ever.

Yeah, it's true.

That is very true.

It would be very funny.

I don't know this game. I feel like the Falcons you have to it's the Falcons here. But then the Falcons also, like Desmond Ritter, could so easily throw three interceptions in this game.

Yeah.

The thing is, the big question is how many points is the jets offense going to give?

Right.

Like, the jets offense is one of the worst defenses in the they don't if the Falcons score a touchdown or.

Even like a short field goal, I'm.

Going to say if they score a touchdown, if there's any six involved. If they score a touchdown, the Falcons are going to win. If the defense. Doesn't score a touchdown against the jets offense, I still think the Falcons are going to win.

So memes are you in? You want to win this game?

I'm saying if we win, I'm all.

The way back in. Got it. I guess five and seven is I mean, five and seven does look not that bad because you play the Texans, you play the Browns.

Both of those teams are but again, I'm just saying, like, you have a.

Chance, but Aaron Rodgers on a recently repaired Achilles behind that offensive line against Miles Garrett in the Browns defense. What? Shotgun? Yeah, actually, I didn't think a shotgun.

Fuck.

I didn't think shotgun get rid of.

The ball in 2 seconds.

Hand it off.

I didn't think a shotgun aaron Rodgers running shotgun only is better than Tim Boyle. I actually agree with that.

Aaron Rogers with 1ft in the shotgun formation is better than Tim Boyle.

Yes.

He could just play and line up like a punter so that no one can touch him.

Have him be like, from that far.

Off, double shotgun, make the field longer, but it's Aaron Rogers.

Have him be in 50 cal formation.

Sure.

Memes, when he tours Achilles. Was he in shotgun? Yeah, he was. He was.

Dwayne Brown was playing, though, but he won't be in.

But so your day one offensive your that's better. Your offensive line's gotten better.

Has it gotten better?

It's gotten worse.

Okay. Has the field gotten better? Has the MetLife turf been improved?

We're trying to find a place where we can maybe agree with something. You're I'm we're we're digging deep. We just need them to lose to.

Then. Yeah.

So, like, lose and then it's over.

Yeah, lose and then it's over.

But win and it's Rogers win and it's be the this might be the.

Worst win in New York Jets history if they win this game and then Rogers gets in.

I love this analysis, but I feel.

Like we've had this exact same conversation.

Next week we'll do the same about.

And then Memes goes and he watches his jets score three points on offense.

Yeah.

He's like, well, maybe next week.

Yeah, maybe they win next week. Rogers time.

Young Way Coup, the kicker for the Falcons is now the all time most accurate kicker in the history of the NFL.

Oh.

Because Justin Tucker is washed now.

Yeah.

So shout out Young Way coup. Jake. Did I get it?

No, I know you're trying.

All right, what is it?

Falcons running back Bijon Robinson needs 62 scrimmage yards on Sunday to secure the title for having the most yards in his first twelve games of any Falcons rookie in franchise history.

I think it might be Bijean season.

I do, too.

I think Arthur Smith might be he finally might. Listen to all the fancy football nerds out there and say, okay, you want Bijean? We're going to build the entire plane out of Bijean. Go straight ahead.

Yes.

That word, scrimmage, that's a weird word. Why do we call it the line of scrimmage?

It's a good question.

I've never thought about scrimmage practice all my life.

High right now?

No, I wish I was high.

A confused never struggle or fight. I guess that makes sense.

Oh, I didn't know that that was.

A scrimmage is a confused struggle or fight. That's the first definition.

Oh, didn't know it because we always talk about scrimmage being like a practice game.

Yeah.

But to explain what happens in American football on the line of scrimmage, it is a confused struggle or fight. It is like if you watch it, you'd be confused. What's going on?

Yes.

And they're struggling and fighting.

Hank has been in a scrimmage against words and reading his entire life facts.

Yeah.

Okay, before we do the late games chevy. There's a new family with unstoppable grit, and they're the official partners. The part my take family. That is the Chevy Silverado ZR two family. The first ever Silverado Heavy duty ZR Two joins the franchise to make Chevy ZR Two the only truck brand with a full lineup of trucks ready for wherever your offroad adventures take you. With exclusive, multimatic DSSV dampers, rugged, mud terrain tires, and up to 14 available camera views, the Chevy Silverado ZR Two and Silverado Hdzr Two, a family with commanding and unstoppable grit head to Chevy.com. Check out Chevy Silverado and the family of Chevy ZR. Two S. The official trucks of pardon my take. We love Chevy. We are Chevy Podcast. So shout out Chevy. We appreciate you. Go check it out right now. The Chevy Silverado and the family of Chevy Silverado. ZR two SR, two S. Excuse me. The official trucks of pardon my take. Tell them pardon my take sent you when you go to Chevy. Okay. Panthers and bucks. Frank Wright, gone.

Frank Wright gone.

Chris Tabor, did you do some research on he was he coached one game for the Bears when Matt Nagy had COVID. He's a fiery guy.

So the fun fact that I found about Chris Tabor is that he coached one game for the Bears. Yeah, that's it. That's all we know about him. Might be I'm of the mindset we lost that game, that any interim coach is better than Frank Reich right now. Like, just something different is good for the Panthers.

He is a fiery guy. I kind of like a special teams coach being named interim head coach because he usually has a pulse on the dogs of the locker room, the grinders. So I'm good with that. Also, Thomas Brown, who we talked about earlier in the season because remember, Frank Wright gave him offensive play calling duties. They won a game, then he took it away. Three weeks later, he's back calling plays. It seems like the players want him to call plays, so that might be good. And Baker Mayfield's a little banged up. I'm talking myself into the Panthers.

I don't know if you should do that.

I know.

I don't know if you should do that at that. But the interim head coach bump is a real thing. And the Panthers we talked about earlier with the Raiders and their interim situation, the Panthers are actually the perfect candidate to do our theory of just putting a different interim coach in every single week. Just somebody that has, like, a tenuous connection at best to the charlote area, bringing them in and being like, okay, now it's your week. Because I think in this circumstance, players will respond to just a change.

Yeah.

No matter what the change is.

Anything different?

Anything different?

Anything different. I was also thinking about David Tepper more this week. He is a classic example of a billionaire who is used to just having things done. Almost like the wave of a magic wand. If you're a billionaire, your life is so easy that you just say you want something, and then it happens. Having a billion dollars is a magic wand yes. For anything like, oh, I want a new plane. Okay, here's a new plane I have.

And it's not even you have to do it. You just have to tell someone plane.

Yeah.

Just be like, hey, spend my money on this so that I can and then it just happens. Everything happens for you. Once you get to a competitive sports league, you no longer have the magic wand.

Correct.

You can't just be like, wild card plain.

Yeah.

I want boat. Playoff appearance. It's not like that anymore. Clean house. And Tepper is very, very confused with not having his magic wand ability work right now.

Yeah.

No, I agree with you. It's very fun to watch because he doesn't seem like the best guy.

Nope.

Not a guy I want to work.

Bought when he was at Goldman Sachs. He didn't get a promotion, and eventually he goes off, starts his own hedge fund. His former boss didn't promote him.

Yeah.

He was so pissed off at his former boss, he bought his former boss's house.

Yes.

I remember this in Tortown, right?

Destroyed it.

Yes.

Raised it to the ground and then built a bigger house where his former boss's house used to be.

I'm a David Tepper fan now.

Yeah.

I mean, I would not want him running my football team.

No.

However, I appreciate it. When a billionaire does cartoon billionaire shit.

He definitely has had that conversation. A meeting where it's like, what if we just tear down another team's?

Yeah. Yeah.

Would we win the game?

Yeah.

What if we bribe I'll bribe them. He's probably tried to bribe his opponent.

We blow up someone's stadium. Would they forfeit? Would we win? Have I found a way to a perfect season?

Yeah.

Up every stadium.

I need to have, like, Bane. I got to have hard knocks. David Tepper.

Oh, yeah.

That'd be sick, wouldn't it?

It's going to be the Bears, though, because it's going to be Harbaugh.

What do you mean?

Like, Harbaugh is going to come to the Bears and they're going to do hard.

Oh, the hard knocks.

Yeah.

I mean, like, just following David Tepper.

Oh, I would want to his entire life.

Yeah.

I want to see oh, you're saying that. Yeah, I was saying, like, who's going to be Hard Knocks next year if David Tepper was featured? Would be yeah.

Yeah.

But wait, if you have a new head coach.

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right.

So David Temper oh, no, they're going to have a new head coach, too. Shit. Who do we want?

We need to start thinking about that for next year running back with the jets.

Could be the patriot.

Arthur new head coach.

Yeah.

New head coach, yeah. Okay. We'll start making our predictions. Okay. Nerd Nugget for this game, I am going to take the Panthers and I'm going to regret it. I just want that on the record.

A duo of Bucks defensive players lead the league and rookie tackle for loss leaders. Kalaja Kansi tied for first among rookies with eight, while Yaya Diabi is right behind with seven TfL this season.

Yaya.

So the future of the Bucs defense is bright.

Nice.

I guess so. Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

One anonymous Bucks fan. I won't say their name, but they work at this office and they're annoying as fuck. Gave me a tip to bet on Elijah Cansey to win Defensive Player of the Year. He's like, at the very worst, you'll have a lucrative cash out option later on. So that was a fucking yeah. And that's that's my nerd nugget.

He's a top rookie tackle for loss leader.

We could get the spin zone going.

He is the top rookie tackle.

He's got eight of them.

Yeah. Eight. That's what I just said.

That's a lot.

Yeah. Wow.

And I got the Abby right behind him.

Shake your fucking head.

Okay, I'm going to say something nice about Jalen Carter.

Yeah.

That play they had where he chased down Josh Allen last week, you remember we were watching.

That was Jordan Davis.

Oh, that's Jordan Davis. That wasn't Jalen Carter.

Which is more impressive because he's like, 50.

I'll say something nice about Jalen Carter. It's still unclear whether he was reprimanded by a police officer or not.

Okay, that's nice.

How is that nice?

Actually?

Why that's still unclear?

That's just like stating a fact that it's still unclear. Yeah, right.

So he might not have done it. That's nice.

But you're not even saying that he didn't do it.

Oh, he didn't do it.

There you go.

Oh, wait, when he was maybe when he was at Center City yeah. And they were going through a self checkout line target and he appeared.

Oh, you know a lot about this, huh?

Yeah.

What's going on there, Max? A lady that he was with stole.

Something and they ever find the bike that hit Kelly.

Ubre, that is weird.

I still don't know anything about the car.

That would actually be funny if a bike. If it was a bike.

Yeah, he was holding a bike, but.

There wasn't talks of the whatever. Jordan Davis was the part of my Take segment where we just read Jeff Nadu's.

Yeah.

Jalen Carter, defensive Rookie of the year.

Yeah.

Did they ever find the guy in Mexico that killed all those people in the.

Don'T? Listen, I like Jalen Carter, but how many tackles for loss does he have?

Kalaja Kansi was just named NFL Defensive Rookie of the Month for November of the month.

Whoa.

4 hours ago.

Whoa. And November's. Over.

That's incredible.

He did it.

Yeah.

So, Jalen Carter, how many you didn't get back to me. How many tackles for loss?

Does he memorize his status?

More or less than eight.

How many defensive rookie of the months has he won?

Let's see.

Okay, go check that. Zero.

Kalaja cancer. He's built different. He is he really is one of one.

Was it was a C or a K?

Collage, I believe.

No, C. And his last name?

His last name?

Yeah.

I thought you were asking about his last name.

You had a 50 50 shot.

I thought you were asking about his last name.

It's the K. I don't know if he has any.

Let's see what the lucrative cash out option is. Like right now. I think it's, like, $3.

All right, he doesn't have any.

I don't think he has any.

Kawaii cancer. Collagen cancer with a K. Your boy.

Has zero tackles for loss, and you.

Think no, I was talking about Rookie of the Month.

Rookie of the month.

Four sacks.

Kalija will sack at least four. Then that's a tackle for loss. Yeah. So he's got no Rookie of the Month. And Kalijah cansey with the K has at least one. One?

Yeah, that's correct.

Okay.

Six for Jalen Carter.

Okay.

Not eight.

It's not eight.

It's not eight.

I'm looking at my cash out. Cash out unavailable.

Oh, that's because they know it's about to pop. All right. Browns at Rams. Joe Flacco.

Joe Flacco, baby.

Is it?

Is it Joe Flacco?

I don't know.

It is. It is.

From what I'm hearing, it is.

Hell yes.

DTR still in the protocol. Usually you don't recover, you don't get out of the protocol in a week. It's happened, like, one time. So he's still dealing with that. And I don't think that they have any designs on going back to PJ.

Walker. No. Yeah, I think this is very funny that the Browns fans have to root for Joe Flacco.

It is very funny. Per the offense coordinator of the Browns, Alex Van Pelt, he said Flacco still has an elite arm. So listen, I've staked my entire reputation on Joe Flacco possibly being elite.

This is going to be a great test, too. Like, Joe Flacco is well past being old. He's very old. And when we last saw him, he looked terrible. But could once good quarterback who's now old be better than a 22 year old that doesn't know how to play football?

It's a possibility.

We're going to find out.

Here's the thing with Flacco is when we last saw Joe, he looked like he couldn't move at all.

Yeah.

I don't know if he's gotten better at moving around. I think basically Joe Flacco was like, I've got seven kids or six kids. It kind of sucks being in the house all the time. It would be nice to just get out of there for Sundays at least.

Yeah.

So I think that was his big motivation on getting back to the NFL. But the arm looks good. Elite, in fact.

Yeah.

I'm in on the Rams, though, this week. The Browns defense is very good, but they also have had a few games where they've really feasted on some unfortunate situations. Kenny Pickett. Matt Canada. Clayton Toon. Remember Clayton?

Yeah, I remember him. That was wild.

So there's four games that they've held their opponents to ten points or less. Joe Burrow, week one, when you still hurt Ryan Tannehill bad. Clayton toon, bad. Matt Canada. Kenny Pickett Browns'defense is still very, very good. I'm just saying more. The point is Matt Stafford is better than the four I just listed.

He's much better.

Joe Burrow. Clayton Toon. Ryan Tannehill matt Canada. Kenny Pickett.

I just hope that Joe Flacco and Aaron Donald don't get to meet each other at because that that would be bad. I can tell you who's going to win that.

I want the Browns to hold on and get to the playoffs so bad. I just don't know.

You never know, though. Flacco, he's still got that arm.

Flacco could I do think Flacco will have at least a game. That surprises us.

Yeah.

You remember that comeback that he had on the jets? Was that jets?

It was against the Browns.

Jets.

Browns, yeah.

Dude.

Flacco still might have it.

They played at Rams, jaguars at home, bears at home. At.

Real bad with Flacco was when he was on the jets, he was struggling to backpedal and turn around and hand the ball off. That movement was tough for him.

Yeah.

He's got to stay loose.

He's got fresh legs, though.

He's got fresh legs. Okay.

Nerd nugget before the nerd nugget. I think it's worth telling you guys that the Browns stayed out west.

Yeah, they did. Yep.

Good point.

From Denver. And they practiced at UCLA this week. And it's supposed to be a homecoming for DTR, but he might not.

Yeah.

Miles Garrett banged up.

He is playing, though.

He's playing. Think, but I don't know how.

Yeah.

I don't know if he's 100%.

If Joe Flacco is going to play for the Browns this weekend, keep in mind he is two and O against the Rams. They were the St. Louis Rams for both games in 2011 and 2015 in the pair of wins.

That's terrible.

Average.

Terrible. Nerd.

344 passing yards per game.

Yeah.

He's a rams killer.

Yeah.

Two games average. 344.

They call him Silverado because he destroys the Rams. It's way better than the Rams 2011.

I mean, I like it. It's funny because it means nothing. You think it means something, so it's.

Like, hey, what if he goes off?

That I like. Because ironically, if he goes off this week yeah.

Then I guess you were warned.

Yeah.

Then I'll say, if he goes off this week and the Browns win this game on Sunday night, I'll say, Jake, you were right. He is the Rams killer.

I'm just reporting facts.

What is going off for Joe Flacco this weekend? We should define that because it needs to be on a scale of 200 yards yeah. Over 200 yards.

Multiple of passing touchdowns.

Two passing touchdowns, one interception and 140 yard pass. That's ten yards under thrown for a pass interference.

Yeah.

At least see two of those.

I mean, I would love to see the entire offense.

Okay. Game, the crown jewel of Sunday. Niners at Eagles. Niners at Eagles.

Do you feel disrespected, Max? Because I feel disrespected for you.

No. I mean, yes, it's disrespectful, but I'm happy to see that line.

Yes.

Stefanski is so excited.

The boys are going to be fired up. I think this is going to be the first game in a while that right out of the gate. We're humming. I think they could be humming, too.

But the Niners have talked a lot of shit. They have to back it up.

Debo just keeps talking shit. He just keeps going on different shows and continuing to talk shit. The Eagles didn't do anything wrong.

The fact that no, I don't think they're talking shit. No, they are not saying they did anything wrong.

Are you saying that the Niners are bullies?

No.

Did Debo say that the Eagles have done wrong things?

I'm not saying that. What do you expect the Eagles to do?

But what did but but he just keeps talking shit.

What is he saying?

Well, he keeps talking shit on James Bradbury. He says that James Bradbury is trash, and then people keep asking about it. He's like, I said what I said, and I'll say it again.

Do you think James Bradbury's trash?

He's not having a great year.

But last year he wasn't trash, so you're talking shit. Talking shit.

I didn't say he's trash.

I said he's not having a great year. Who had the penalty at the end of the game? The Super Bowl.

That was a fake ass penalty.

Who was it, though?

That was a fake ass penalty. It was James Bradbury, but he had a good year last year.

But if you're a Stefanski, this is the best news you could hope for, is to be underdogs at home.

Wait, this is sirianni.

Sirianni. I always mix those two up. Sirianni is absolutely jacked up. He gets to put on, like, Rocky in the locker room here's what it's like to be an underdog in this city. He gets to lean into it big time.

Max isn't going to like what I say. He's going to jump down my throat if I say anything.

No, say it.

The Eagles have the defense especially. They played 92 snaps on Sunday.

Okay.

That's a lot of snaps. They had a big win against the Chiefs on Monday. I feel like the Niners have this game circled more than the Eagles can, and I think that this will be the NFC Championship game, and the Eagles will probably beat them in the NFC Championship game. But I feel like this Sunday it's niners.

Sure.

Is that fair?

I mean, I disagree.

Okay.

I also think that the Eagles are probably peak.

Like, if you say the Eagles might.

Lose I didn't say you, and I said I disagree.

Okay.

Max, are you pissed off at the 49 ers that they've been doing a lot of, like, every media opportunity they get, they talk about how they would have beaten the Eagles in that game if they had a quarterback.

I get it. But we still kicked their ass. I get that. They didn't have a quarterback. We still put up points. They still couldn't stop the offense. So what's that where's the explanation there?

Yeah, well, their explanation is we didn't have a functional quarterback.

But how does that affect the defense?

It doesn't.

They're just saying, like, the entire game was thrown off and field position, all that shit.

They couldn't okay. That just means that, you know, that.

I'm agreeing with you on that. I'm saying, like, if I was an Eagles fan, I would be upset by that.

You're just your you're in your red zone. Maybe it's the green zone where you become the Hulk. Whatever we say, you're just going to.

Be like, I think if we were on the road, we would lose this game. But being at home helps. It's also supposed to be another rainy game. Like shitty rainy.

I mean, that helps both teams. The Niners can run the ball.

Yeah, I know. Obviously. But I'm not saying that helps or hurts. Just that's just an observation.

Have you heard the song?

I mean, I did hear the song between the brothers.

Yeah, rip. Shane McGowan. They did the Pogue's Fairy Tale of New York, but they did about Philly. It was pretty good.

It was actually pretty also interesting, travis Kelsey singing about Philly.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Interesting.

Well, his girlfriend's from there, kind of.

Jason Kelsey has a beautiful voice. He's a beautiful man.

Surprisingly good voice, though.

False starts were bad.

False starts.

I think he had the shit.

I think he had the shit. We've all been there.

Jordan my lotta has a great voice, too.

Jordan my lotta actually has an incredible an incredible voice. Like Jason Kelsey has a nice man's. There's something that's like the neighborhood bar guy who can get up on the karaoke and be like, oh, yeah, that guy's got a good voice. Jordan my lotta has real, real saying.

He's sang a Mariah Carey song, didn't he?

Yeah.

I mean, he's unreal. He's got talent. Wait, my man's got pipes.

DfT, are you going to bet the Eagles in this game?

Actually, no. I'm going to be unretired by Sunday.

Okay.

I think no, I'm going to bet that.

Oh, you dick.

You didn't even let me you didn't let him finish.

We said no. The answer.

I'm going to bet props. Oh, there you go.

Yeah.

That means nothing to me.

Okay.

A lot of stuff doesn't make sense.

All right? Yeah, that's also true. Nerd nugget time.

Got tagged in this one a lot. This is game two in the 49. Ers bird gauntlet of a schedule. Last week Seahawks, this week Eagles. This is one have gotten PFT, then Cardinals, then Ravens.

PFT washed.

I am washed. But, Jake, I think you're misusing the term bird gauntlet, because the true bird gauntlet is playing against every single bird team in the NFL. You didn't mention the falcons.

Yeah, well, still a gauntlet it is.

It's not the complete no, it's not a gauntlet.

The bird gauntlet is playing against all of the bird teams, and no NFL team has ever beaten the bird gauntlet. It's never happened.

Never happened. I don't think.

It probably hasn't been scheduled.

Yes, it wrong. Nerd nugget correct.

Nerd. Nerd nugget of the week.

No team has ever beaten every bird team in a single season in the history of the NFL, and it has been scheduled multiple times.

Well, check your little spreadsheet.

The Seahawks are twice here, so it could be six games.

Yeah, it could be. Never happened.

Okay.

Check your bird fact.

That's a bird brain on your part, Jake.

Yeah.

Okay. Last game.

Sunday night.

Football.

Chiefs.

Packers. I think the packers might be pretty good.

No. The packers are good. The packers are fine. That's what I'll say about them. They're fine.

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I'm excited to watch this game. I just hope Mahomes plays well.

I think he will beats him. I think he will. I think the offense they might have something going with Rashid Rice.

Yeah.

We did lose because the Flex Hanks team was the first team to ever get flex out of Monday football. They should actually have to announce it that way, too. We're flexing out because of this team. Yeah, because it wasn't the Chiefs. So we do lose. The moment that we talked about the Michelle Biisner Buck moment, where she's talking to Patrick Mahomes being like, these guys are really coming along, so we'll have to find somewhere else.

It'll happen. Yeah, I'm very confident in that. Did you see what Tyreek Hill said about leaving the Chiefs?

Yeah.

He didn't get invited over.

Right.

He felt like he was their side piece, and he's never been a side piece before. And Patrick Mahomes has Travis Kelsey over to his house all the time and never had Tyreek Hill over, which sucks.

Brutal.

What might have just probably they probably played a lot of, like, Call of Duty with each other, right? They were in Land Party.

It also matters how much was Patrick Mahomes inviting Travis Kelsey over every week, because then that is kind of fucked up. Then that is you know what I mean? Like, if it was like, oh, Travis Kelsey got invited over once, that Tyree kill didn't whatever. Grow up, dude. But, like yeah, if they had, like, a standing date and he wasn't invited, that's messed.

Think I think all of you guys have been to my house, right?

Yeah.

Not Max. Yeah, not I have a dog. Yeah, don't let him so he didn't want to come over.

Don't let him.

In factor fiction. Max asked you to dog sit. You said no.

It was over Labor Day weekend.

All right. Nerd Nugget for the last game.

Nerd nugget of the week.

That was a worse one than the first time you did it.

You guys liked it.

Part of my soul dies every time.

This one also went viral this weekend or this week. Aaron Rodgers and his first eleven games as a starter, 2599 passing yards and 21 total touchdowns. Jordan Love, in his first eleven games as a starter, 2599 passing yards and 21 total touchdowns.

It felt personal to Big Cat that you made that the Nerd Nugget of the Week.

Yeah.

That doesn't say they won games.

It just felt personal.

It did. I took it personally.

That could have been just any other Nerd Nugget. I took it very personally. You did the trumpets and everything.

Well, I was extra proud this time. Because you were mocking.

Because it's personal. Well, it deserves to be mocked.

Get your bird.

We need to keep the world in order.

That was my bird nugget of the week.

Bird nugget have it. Oh, you should come up with Bird Nugget.

Yeah, now I'm doing Bird Nugget of.

The Week for every bird team because.

Listen, I've been on the bird beat.

For that's what I'm saying. That was yours.

Well, it wasn't even a good one because it didn't involve he missed Bird Gauntlet.

I didn't make the name up.

Yeah, the Bird Gauntlet is a different thing. The Bird Gauntlet is blame the Internet.

For making it up.

That's the crown jewel.

I'm just repeating I'm not creating any.

Crown jewels counter up here. It's crown jewel.

Okay, Jake, for the record, I like the nerd nuggets.

Thank you. I didn't like that one. I didn't like that one.

Fine.

And I didn't like the sound.

Well, I had an extra one for this game just in case you stole this one or do it. Announcer jinx. Kicker Harrison Bucker is a perfect 20 for 20 on field goals and 28 of 28 on extra points this season. Another kicking performance this week. He'd be the first Chiefs kicker to ever be perfect through his first twelve games of a season and the 7th kicker in NFL history to do it.

Okay, so he'll miss.

Pretty impressive.

Yeah, bet him to miss.

You know what? I might flip it and reverse it. Get back in on the Doinks.

It hasn't been done since 2016. Justin Tucker.

I might bet a doink.

Games without a miss.

I might bet a doink.

Can you do that for a regular season?

I think for a standalone primetime game, we'll find it. You might be able to find it.

Might snow. Might snow.

Oh, doink in the snowink.

In the snow would look great.

Get a little like, flurry of snow falling off the top of the goalpost. Yeah, that'd be nice.

Okay, so let's do our picks. Give us the standings. We killed it last week.

Yes.

We went 14 and four as a group.

Look at that.

We know ball.

We know ball.

It also is one of those weeks where all the favorites covered.

Yes.

All the squares won. And I hate when I find that out on Monday when it's like, I had a great week. They're like, Vegas got killed.

And then whatever happens the next week is going to be the complete opposite bloodbath.

So for the 15 minutes opening act in Las Vegas, between the booth, I have 14 and a half points, max has 14, memes is 13.

Oh, tight race.

Very race.

And the main event, 1 hour in Las Vegas. Big Cat, 15 and a half. PFT 15.

Hank.

Eleven and a half.

Oh, Hank did win the head to.

Head against Big Cat for the packers. That was huge. Two game swing.

Good job, Hank.

So we have twelve picks left and Hank is down by three and a half points. Far from over.

Yeah, I think from over.

I had the over in the Monday night game, right?

Yes.

That was an all time bad.

That was bad.

That was bad.

That was bad. Okay, who's going first?

I believe it's. Big cat.

Oh, okay.

Also, we have a pancake update. It's been a while.

Yeah.

Pancakes. Hank continues to dominate with 40, max is 31, I have 29. PFT 24 big Cat and memes 23.

Okay, comeback from your boy.

All right, I'm going first. I'll take the Falcons minus two. They can't lose the jets against the jets so bad. It's a good pick.

Am I second or last?

You're last.

I think I'm second, right?

Yeah.

Okay, I'm going to go with Road Dogs. The Denver Broncos, plus three and a half at the Houston Texans.

I'm going to go with the Lions, minus four and a half against the Saints. They've been waiting on this since Thanksgiving. They're going to crush them.

Oh, crush them.

I am going to take the commies. Too many points at home.

Wow.

Nine and a half.

Oh, he doesn't believe in his team.

It's a shame.

What?

He doesn't believe in his you don't.

Believe in the birds.

Plus three was sitting right.

It.

I never take the okay.

Okay.

I think Max is feeling adding pressure this week about this game because he's going to have to watch it.

Yeah.

And his foot stink.

My foot is pretty much better.

Pretty much better. Pretty much better foot. Okay memes, I'm going to go with.

Chargers minus five and a half.

Okay.

Hank, double dip.

Yeah.

I'm going to go Chiefs minus six and Browns rams under 40 and a half.

I like it spicy.

New quarterback Joe Flacco.

He's not new. He's old.

He's new for them.

Yeah.

New system.

Not going to score.

New system.

Brown's defense is good.

Yeah.

Joe Flacco is a system. Okay memes game goes through whipping.

It a background.

I'll go Colts, titans over 42 and a half.

Okay. All right.

Maxi.

I like taking the Colts over, so it's been good.

I will go Cardinals, steelers over 41 and a half.

Fuck.

That's what I wanted. Over.

Yeah.

41 and a half. I will go Chargers, patriots under 40 and a half.

That's not a bad bet.

But you think it's going to go over?

No, I'm saying it's not a bad bet.

Game.

I don't want to watch just the game.

Yeah.

40 and a half.

All right, 50.

I'm going to take the Dolphins commies over. 49 and a half.

I like it.

49 and a half.

All right. I guess I'll just do it because I'm going to watch the game. It's system play. Games going to be on TV. I'm going to watch it. Niners Eagles over 47 and a half. System play. Although it's going to rain.

Yeah, that's how I was going to damn.

That's definitely not going to hit. I'm owing one. That's not going to hit. I just know that's not going to hit. Fuck. Okay. All right. Fantasy fuck, boys. Then we get a long interview with Cam Newton and Brandon Marshall. Hank yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. What up?

My name's.

That Italian musconian fella my stardom.

Yeah.

Ryan Shazir.

Yeah.

He's a literary expert. Guy knows his books, guys. Knows his reading.

Volume two.

Well educated man.

Volume one, how to suck a dick. Volume two, how to suck another dick.

In a butt dick and butts dick.

You suck a dick in a butt dick.

Buck kiss.

My sith is advertisers.

Oh, go fuck yourself.

Go fuck yourself.

No, I love them.

Disagree.

Love them.

Who's. Light, ice cold.

Talking about?

I'm Elon Musconi.

And now I got it.

Go fuck yourself.

I didn't understand it.

Earth will judge you.

And my sleeper is body armor. I've been drinking this stuff all week.

It's.

God's.

Nectar.

I just want to give you guys a cheers.

Cheers, boys.

Body armor.

Big cat.

You don't want to get involved.

Love this stuff. Love you guys.

Love you.

Want to drink some PFT?

Yeah. I certainly not I'm not PFT.

What's your name?

Hey, what's up, dickheads?

Hey, what's up, dicks?

It's me, Tommy DeVito, again. Very excited about not having to work this weekend. It's the Italian way. Taking a labor break. My sodom I'm starting Christmas trees. It's that time of year again. Christmas trees. Go get your Christmas trees. Get your Fraser furs again. Get your Fraser furs.

Get the pure white.

No, don't get the pure white. We're doing trees. Not pure white.

Pure white.

Santa might be dumping some sack down my chimney, but I don't want to see you guys dumping those sack up your nose, okay? My sit. Him is Henry Kissinger. Henry R-I-P rest in piss.

Bozo.

You won't be missed off a cliff.

Yeah.

Guy knows a guy. Ravel had a beautiful obituary for to do.

You want to discuss Ravel's obituary?

He deleted it, though.

Very good. Very good.

Yeah.

He said incredible life by this guy. Nobel peace. Pride. Secretary of State Nixon. Ford hired a security advisor on the JFK. That was the first half of his life.

Incredible.

And he deleted and we're not going.

To say what he did as security advisor.

He yada, yada, yada. A lot of shit.

He was kind of the Joe Flacco of international politics. Just throwing bombs. Some of them landed where they should. Some didn't. Most of them didn't. Rest in peace, bozo. You won't be missed. And then my sleeper this week for my sleeper, I'm taking.

Like, fresh out.

Of jail, excited to get back in the real world. Civilian life, using the middle of the field. Kenny Pickett. Big time sleeper.

Okay, what's up? Fuckheads it's. Sylvio Berluscone. My stardom this week is my guy Bobby Petrino, getting rehired at Arkansas. He's a real pervert like me. I love that. I fucking love a pervert like that who'll break his face for his A.

He looks like he needs a book on how to suck a dick with.

All that neck brace. He's wearing my sit. Him is Shannon Sharp. He's brushing his teeth five times a day. Well, yeah, when you got the fuck.

You got chompers like a horse.

The fuck?

Five times a day. The fuck? That'd be blood everywhere. My gums bleeding. And my sleeper, I had Elon Musk as well. Because he's been sleeping around. Well, no, he hasn't been has he been sleeping around? He probably sleeps around, but that fucking coat that he was wearing at whatever the thing was that he was at. I don't even fucking know, dude.

I was at a conference.

Show the fuck out. You're not a fucking top gun pilot.

Looked like a tuskegee airman.

Yeah.

What the hell that?

Really?

Was that Elon Musk? Like, press conference someone. I can't remember. Maybe it was rich eisen. He was like, I love the new season of succession, and it really was like a scene from succession.

His face looks like it's running away from his like, it he looks like he's melting.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Credit to PFD for not drinking the piss there. I went for it.

What do you mean?

That's your piss bottle.

Oh, fuck. I did take a sip out of it. Oh, you did?

Oh, fuck.

That's still your piss bottle. Oh, I forgot to throw away the piss bottle. Wait, you drank piss just now?

I thought from the last show, I just put a little bit on my lips, and I was like, this doesn't taste good. And I didn't want to say anything.

Bad about your body did. I wanted you to take a bigger sip.

You took, like, a little half sip.

That's gross. You got to throw out your piss bottles, dude.

I know. It's day one stuff.

Yeah. Hank, you son of a hank, you're good. You're good. You you're good. What a moment.

Listen, I will admit, when Hank gets me, it's not often he does.

I thought you knew because you kind.

Of did, like, a little, like well, here's what went touch your lip. Here's what went through my mind.

Okay.

You were just talking shit about advertisers. I took a whiff of it with my nose, and I thought maybe there was some dip spit or something weird in there I didn't want to say anything about because it's body armor. So I put it down, and you're like, take a little sip. I was like, I'll take a little sip of it. So I just wet my with my own piss. Good job, Hank.

His own piss.

Good job, Hank.

Way to go, Hank.

Thank you.

Still got it. I'm proud of you.

Got it. Okay, let's get to our interview. Great interview. We got Cam Newton and Brandon Marshall in studio. Brought to you by our friends at body armor. We love body armor. You see us drinking it all the time. PMT is brought to you by body Armor. Real hydration, real ingredients. Packed with electrolytes, vitamins, and nothing artificial. Body Armor has great tasting flavors. My personal favorite strawberry banana. I drink it's like drinking a smoothie in the morning gets you so hydrated. Feels good. It is the best. They also have blue, raspberry. What do you got right there, PFT?

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Not too special.

Yeah.

I mean, NFL MVP, national champion, Heisman.

Trophy winner, cool hack guy.

Cool, hack guy it is. Cam Newton. Appreciate it in the studio. Yeah. This is an honor to have you here.

It's a deal, bro. I told you before, I fuck with the campaign that you guys are doing.

I appreciate that. Oh, and here's Brandon Marshall. So Brandon Marshall's here as well. We just started. So these two guys are doing a tour. It's called the Iconic Tour. They're doing a show in Chicago. Where else we got on the tour?

Well, before we even get into that, have you guys taken y'all show on a tour?

No, we haven't. We need why? We're lazy.

Yeah.

Oh, my goodness. Yo, you guys are going to love it.

So we travel a lot for work. Our thing with the tour is that we've always thought that if we were going to go on tour, we'd have to make a show that's different. Like, we didn't want to just sit on couches and do our regular podcast. So then to come up with a unique show takes a lot of effort. We should do it.

It doesn't I know you were asking us about to get into what we're doing here and everything, and that's exactly what we were able to do, is come together and just like, we're both creative, but in different ways, like super creative. And it's like, all right, we have 90 minutes. What does this look like?

Right?

Because you can go and it's just like sitting on couches and you think that you're going to see just Funky Friday or four to one or I am athlete. It's not that. It's like you get that, but then there's so many different elements.

The live aspect to filling an audience, incorporating them, too.

Yeah.

Do you have any added visual aspects to it? Because that's something I thought about, too. If we do a live show, it's like I would want to have something going on above us a little bit, make it look different in addition to being a different show.

I think that's essential. We have a cigar roller.

Nice.

You dig it.

So how many tours dates are you doing? Because that's the other part of it, is that we wouldn't want to do a tour. We try to talk in a national way in terms of sports. Obviously, we have our teams, but we would feel like if we did like a two or three stop tour, a lot of our fans would be like, what the fuck? Why don't you come to our the.

Other dates are undisclosed at this particular moment.

Okay.

But we can tell you that this is one of three shows that's leading to the fourth show in oh, we're.

Actually going to do a live show in our buddy Hank. He's going to do an hour of stand up and stand up before yeah.

Wow.

We're excited about know. It's going to be pretty cool, and it's like how you guys are thinking, and I hate saying this. Like, we're here in Chicago, so tomorrow Wednesday at City Winery for people who want to get their tickets and come out and experience it, it's going to be an experience for sure. But what I hate saying is it's going to be phenomenal tomorrow, but as you grow and go so much more, you learn, and it's just going to get bigger and bigger. When you talk about the elements, video boards and things like that, we're going to start adding some cool things because we're going to learn as we go.

Yeah, I like that. Cam, are you retired?

Good.

No question.

No, officially not retired. Have you been getting phone calls?

No.

What's up with that?

I don't know. I don't think I would ever retire.

Oh, yeah, that's good.

I'm one of those guys.

I could see Cam, like, just coming back when you're 45 years old.

Not 45. By that time, I would probably pulled a bar stool move and made some real big strides in the media space if I were to come back at that particular point in time. It'll be just for the fans.

We feel like Draymond Green, you could.

Do a podcast and also play no or like, no.

You did it.

You did it.

That's where Funky Friday was created when you was playing with the pets.

I did, but I think no, it's not.

Musties if you had to play a game on Sunday, Brandon, how many catches would you get?

I mean, at tight end, I should get ten catches.

Receiver three. Okay.

Yeah.

Slant back, shoulder type.

Yeah.

It's different out there. Yeah, it's definitely different. But tight end, you've seen Gonzalez catch 110 balls when he was 40, right?

Yeah.

And it's just being savvy and understand how to get in certain positions.

That position wasn't abreast to his skill set either. I don't think he does that in this day and age.

You don't think so?

I don't think that while Tony Gonzalez was playing, I don't think the outside linebacker position cover safety was up to par what his skill set was offering. Guys. Tony Gonzalez, esque. Shannon Sharp, Esque.

Antonio Gates.

Antonio Gates made ways for Greg Olsen travis Kelsey george Kittle But teams were forced rob Gronkowski, we forget.

Yeah.

That forced teams to get prepared for this movement of tight ends. Now we have national tight end day and things like that because these guys are really X factors in the space.

So you're saying I won't get ten catches?

Basically, I'm saying you will not.

That's basically what he says.

All that to say that I won't.

Get ten catches, they get three is.

Kim always a hater like this?

No, he's a realist. I'm a realist, but I disagree with.

Him because it's like, all right, stick.

We call stick get sticky.

Right. Any of those routes, like, come on.

In coverage, that's an easy and then.

I also like my matchup versus a safety. There's only probably sticky.

You're usually it's a linebacker, what I'm.

Saying, or zone, for sure, but that's like zone. Like, I can sit at any zone. I'll say be able to get right there. But I'm talking about even if I have, like, you put me outside. You put me outside and I'm matchup one on one versus a safety. You don't like me on a go ball back shoulder.

I don't think that even happens with that. Why now, third and two to short, you could get that matchup.

Oh, there we go. There's one. There's a catch.

There you go.

There's one.

But now my question is to him, it's not how many catches you will have, it's how many yards would you have? Because that catches is like sticky is going to average out about six to ten yards with a broken tackle.

Right now, to this day, I can run 20 mph. My speed is still there. The problem is, when you get older, can you stop? Right, yeah, that's the problem. And then actually, that quick twitch muscle at the line of scrimmage, that's what I'm talking about in the matchup at wide receiver. But if I get the ball in my hand well, no, the other problem is can you take a hit?

Yeah.

Your yak would probably be, like, negative.

Yeah, right.

Like, I don't want to get hit.

But even really for like, you play that sport where you could get down, you know what I'm saying? It's like catch.

Get Tyler Lockett. Yeah, Tyler Lockett does it. You down.

Tony did that a lot. He was not a bruiser. Greg was like that, too. He was not like one of those guys that's going to deliver the blow. Gronk was a guy that was like, Ouch, that hurts. I'm going to keep battering and boom, boom, boom.

Yeah.

Hold on, Tom. Let's get back to Cam real quick because I've been asking him this question every time I get an opportunity. So you know what I feel? My gut says that because he's building his empire. Media. I feel like this offseason you're going to put pressure on you ain't putting pressure on nobody right now.

Oh, you're going to maybe work out?

Yeah, I feel like yes. I feel like next year is the year you're going to put pressure on people and you're going to be back in the NFL next year.

That's not too far off.

See what I'm saying?

He has a plan that's not too far off. I'm just waiting on somebody to tick.

Me and oh, you want us to do it?

Yeah.

I don't think you got anymore.

I think he cares too much about off the field.

He was so bad on the Patriots.

Yeah, I really wasn't, though.

Look at him.

Here comes the comeback.

Look at him now.

Cam Newton just doesn't love football.

No, I think really, for me, it's one of those situations where if I'm moved by it, I'm going to get moved by it.

Right spot, right place, right time.

Fire up like an Instagram video of you working out with that unusual bro.

Like font underneath the font.

Can we talk about the font?

Yeah, I post my way. Go download the app right now. It's ninety nine cents.

You have an app for it and you can write like, Cam, it's an app.

It's a keyboard. People always ask, like, how do you type so fast? If you were to look at my phone right now and pull up how I type, it's a keyboard. So it gives me blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

How did you start doing your app?

What my app, bro?

What was the start of this?

At one point, did you sit down? You're like, hey, regular text just doesn't have enough flavor to me. Like, I want to make my own fucked up alphabet.

No, it's not fucked up. It's more or less if I were to give everybody a sheet of paper right now, and I were to say, we love Blake Bortles and Barstool Sports Media, and everybody has to write that, we all wouldn't type it the same. We wouldn't write the same. Why should we type the so, like handwriting? Yeah, but handwriting.

You're putting the onus on. Does he text you in the weird font, bro?

Yes.

You put the onus on everyone else? Yeah, we all have to. Like, when you read it, it's like, what is this?

It's one of those things that we're not used to seeing media like this until Barstool was created. Okay, now it's like, get in lines.

Yeah.

You see what I'm saying?

Do you ever text real?

No.

Never?

No.

Like, what if it's an emergency? Like, call the ambulance. Are you going to do that weird text?

And people like, what is my mom?

Let me see. Fill out your taxes online on TurboTax. You use the fucked up phone.

Pay people to do that.

Yeah, I forgot.

Yeah, you're rich.

That's incredible. But this was the time I created it around 2016 when everybody was creating apps. Remember Kimoji? Remember Steph Moji? Like, all these different things? And I was like, Yo, I don't want to just create a bunch of avatars. I was like, Yo, I want to do something that I'm going to use.

Right?

And was going strong at the time, was like, Yo, I type. And I didn't know how many different versions of A it was.

Yeah.

And I was like, Yo, how many is a Then you got E. Then you got I'm like, Yo, I'd never seen a y like that. I was like, yo, I want to create my own app where I could type like this and then boom.

I kind of respect that. So did you ever text Belichick with that?

Of course.

Did he ask you any follow up questions or he was like, I guess maybe my phone's broken.

Well, no, I recant that. Not Belichick or Kraft, but initially but over time it was once you got to know them. Once they got to know me.

Right. Hold on.

So you text them in regular font? Initially.

Until the pulling out, I didn't look.

Everything about Cam Newton. In some ways, Brandon Marshall is like, okay, is he who we hear he is? And I didn't want to kind of spook him a little bit, you know what I'm saying?

That would have been dope if you like off the top.

Yeah.

Here you go.

Boom.

Like, ready to go, coach.

What's up, coach? Let's get this.

Yeah, let's get it.

What's the what is it? Doseki's.

Most Interesting man man in the world.

Yeah.

Do you think that I feel like you might be top five in the world and he should probably do the spot now?

Yeah.

Interesting man in the world. You never see the Doseki's commercial.

Yeah.

People bow down in his yes, people pray, but no, I think really? I don't drink, by the way.

Well, the reason why I said that is because the hats and the tour now we're spending a lot of time together. You know what I mean? We talk damn there every day, it feels like. Or at least texting with the font, the crazy font. And so he might hit me at 830 in the morning. He has the hat on. He has a bow tie on or some test. He's always dressed up. He's texting in this font. People always ask that question, like, really? Because sometimes I'll post, like a little screen grab or whatnot. That's why I said you might be the most interesting dude definitely.

In sports. Wait, so the hat, I have a question about it. We have a theory, and this is from a fan's perspective. Did you ever bring a losing outfit too? Because when you lose a game and then you're wearing like, a yellow suit and like, a weird feather hat, fans are like, what the fuck? Did you ever think about bringing, like, a losing suit?

Never.

Never.

One of the things that when people who knew me knew that whole Super Bowl post game interview, they knew something was wrong because I'd never enter a post game without being dressed right. I was still in my field attire.

Yeah.

But to that point, I never wanted to distract myself from the only focus, being winning. So bringing a backup outfit would have distracted me to say, well, what if we do lose? I may don't want to look like, fuck that.

Yeah.

But maybe get like, a trainer, like one of the trainers to have just like a sweatsuit. You don't have to pack it, but like, here Cam, I got just in case.

Borrow something.

You throw three picks. Maybe we'll go sweatsuit.

If anything, I would do the interview and in my outfit and then on our way back home, I would then change.

Wait, you put on a bow tie.

At like 08:00 A.m.?

Yes. 07:00 a.m. When I'm taking the kids to school.

Do you get dressed up to go to sleep?

I get dressed up. No, I get that's a great question.

Yeah.

Pajamas asleep. Are you fashionable? Going to sleep?

It's a great question.

I like you.

I like you too, Brandon.

You what?

I sleep naked.

Okay, cool. Nice.

Me too.

Yeah.

We're going to get back to Cam and Brandon in a second. They're brought to you by Blue Chew. You can have better sex with Blue Chew. Blue Chew is currently the only place to go for chewable versions of Syldenophil and Tedelifil. These ingredients help men achieve stronger, harder and longer lasting erections for sexual activity. It helps combat all forms of ed, which also includes performance anxiety and also maintaining an erection long enough for sex. The Chewable tablets have the same active ingredients that you're going to find in Viagra and Cialis, but in chewable form and at a fraction of the cost. Bluetooth is all about having confidence when it comes time to perform and having happy and healthy relationships. A Bluetooth subscription includes a free online consultation, get 24/7 medical support, a prescription if approved, and discrete delivery straight to your door every single month. Chew it and do it. Use code PMT. Get your first month free. How about that promo code PMT. Get your first month for free. Now back to Cam Newton and Brandon Marshall.

You had a clip the other day where you were talking about your penis saying it was small.

It's average.

Okay, I don't like that you yeah, because I know that it's probably not small and I don't like you like you're encroaching on small guy dick territory.

I do have a small we're encroaching on suspect conversation.

I'm just saying. You're the one who started it.

No, he started it.

No, but you started it with the clip.

Wait, I'm just going to look up and see who started it. Cam newton penis.

Is this the commercial where it's like who said it first? Like I challenged that. DfT It's bullshit. Because he's like, oh, I'm average. Like, no, that's not fair because I have a small penis. And that's.

Every man hero. Cam Newton proudly states he has a very average we're talking six inches.

We're talking his average.

Is it average for your body size? Because that's different.

Let's move forward.

If you got a six inch dick.

And you're six foot six, then that looks tiny.

Listen, if you really want to find out, make sure you come to City Winery at 730. I'll be happy to give. More insight to this question, and somebody will be finding out later that night.

So, Brandon, your im athlete, what you built has been awesome.

Yes.

What's the status of The Beef right now? That went viral a couple weeks ago.

I forgave them.

Okay, so what was the genesis of The Beef?

Yeah, Cam Newton, he's really encouraged me to forgive. And the Bible says 77 times. 77 times. No, it's not that. I'm just messing around. Look, we did something special.

What was to give the backstory?

Business. It's just business, right? Like, when you start out, hey, let's go sell a show, right? And there's no deals on the table, there's no contract signed, and then boom, it turns into this cultural social phenomenon. Things change. Right. And.

Brandon Marshall has not and did not do bad business.

Right.

Brandon Marshall is a is a person who mismanaged business.

I like how you did that.

So not signing contracts, that's not bad business. That's just mismanagement it's also, if you.

Have friends involved, it could be conflict of interest, right?

Conflict of interest. But as you know, you guys built this empire of barstool that we see barstool, Auburn, we see Barstool fucking nanny. It's so many different prefixes of Barstool that we see now. Trying to buy shares or trying to buy a piece of the company today is different than trying to buy a piece of the company at 2012.

That's facts.

And I think when you see his situation, it's kind of tangled when it shouldn't be. That hard to just say, like, Yo, bro, I wish we would have had more of understanding of what the real is foresight of.

Yeah.

Rather than just pushing it back like, yo, we're doing a tour. Hold on. We'll handle this after. And then after that, it's something else.

And that's where I first time too.

Say it again.

When you're doing it for the first time, you don't know what you don't know right into it.

Yeah.

I mean, the vision was just to sell the show. That was it. I wasn't thinking about building a platform and even morphing into where you guys are at today. That wasn't even it. It was like when I went out there and we started having conversations, start learning, and people are like, well, we want to own 60% of the IP.

Yeah.

This is during a time in the pandemic where a lot of artists were talking about ownership and owning your IP. And so you start learning, and then you grow, you get stronger, you get smarter. But I would say after the first once we got into it, we definitely invested. Maybe we invest a lot of money into offers and say, contracts.

You me yeah. And no one else put in money. That makes sense. When I was listening to you explain it, I was like, and so you've forgiven the guys.

Here's the reality. I'll say this, and then I'm kind of moving on.

Okay.

This is what I would say. It's like what I've learned, right? In this process, it's not bad business. Like what Camp said, I've done things that were bad for business, right? And what that means is sometimes just taking things too personal, right? Sitting down with some of the guys, and after six, seven months, having certain conversations, then it's like, we're back in the locker room or we're on the field, and that conversation is like, no, this is business boardroom talk. You got to be able to separate the two. You can't take this personal. So there's times I may have said things, my tone have changed, and that's what's been bad for business, right?

Yeah.

But no, we've invested hundreds of thousands of dollars just in attorneys coming in and building out platform and infrastructure and all of those things. So they're in a great place. Like, they're crushing it. And for me, my journey is a little different now. I'm not building podcasts. I'm building platform. And so it's going to look a little different, but for sure we'll get there, and it's a different type of sacrifice, it's a different type of risk. I'm a real entrepreneur, and I've always been that way, and there's a lot of opportunities for us. So definitely a journey, a lot of key learnings. And I think that it's going to help me as I move forward.

Let me say this, too, because the honesty in me cannot say this enough, but let's be real about this. Even though we didn't come on here to talk about this, this is a part of his it's. And what I would hate for this to kind of spin off and you guys take a sound bite that is like, oh, Brandon says he forgives, but he doesn't. Like, man, look, bro, I would love.

Oh, here he goes.

No other than everybody who has some type of emotion in regards to feeling a certain type of way, good, bad, or indifferent, let's talk.

Yeah.

And respectfully. I hate that. It's just being extremely honest. Black men making a mockery of business because we're coming together to do good business. And I love what Fred has become, channing has become, ryan has become. This whole space of media is so much out there for everybody to eat, and there's no need for us to say, man, fuck barstool. Barstool ain't shit. Part of my take shit, they're fratinizing with, part of my interruption. Like, bro, everybody has their own different point of view for certain different things. And just me being around Brandon has just been a breath of fresh air because he's helped me so much. I can't say that enough.

Yeah.

And I told him the only reason why I'm inspired to go on tour was going on the Im Athlete Tour. I seen I was a guest. Speaking of guests, we have Vic Mensa as our guest for the show. But I saw that, and I was like, Yo, I need that, right? And I'm looking at my producer right now, Kristen Myers, and she came by way of Brandon.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? And it's so much about life fuck business. It's about harmony. It's about how you two able to put differences aside to say, like, Listen, bro, we have a due diligence to put a great product in screen.

That's what we say at the start of every show.

You know what I'm saying?

It's incredible what you built, Brandon. You should be very proud of it, for sure.

It's been awesome to see, because you can tell that people that have been guests on your show are immediately they're comfortable. They're speaking in a way to you that they don't speak anywhere else in the media. And you see, like, when you guys were in the league, you talk to a reporter, you do an interview, you do press conference. It's almost like you got the second thought going through your head the whole time of, okay, what am I not supposed to be saying right now? What are those guardrails that I can be touching? But when they're talking to you on your podcast, they seem to just open up right out of the gate. Is there any guest that after you were done with the interview and the cameras are off, just like you all exhale and you're like, that was some deep?

I'm sorry you asked his ass that question, but I've gotten to know Brandon so well along this three to four month process that there was clips that we left out. And it wasn't to protect him or to not expose certain things. It was just like, Yo, bro, like, damn, we only got 2 hours to really put a product together. Like, we should have had a part two, part three. But I think, really, for him, and I've called him out on so many different times where it's like, Bro, you change him and fuck that. We need that.

Brandon.

I need fucking want me to kick.

The ball over the fence?

Kick the mic over the fence.

That was a great punt, by the way. People don't talk about how great of a punt that was. I don't know if you were trying to get off the Broncos.

I don't know what the situation right.

Behind the scenes, but you punted that ball, you hit that thing, like, 60 yards. That was a nice boot, Dang.

It was a great punt.

We got to get that dog back. Maybe Cam just should hold a picture of Robbie Gold and just show it.

To you, and then you get no.

I mean back in.

You listen, it's a tough it's a tough it's tough. It's tough, right? Because it's tough. It's tough. Like what works. Here's my goal. My goal is over the next two years, I want to morph into more what Cam's at, right? Meaning over the next two years, I want to just do what I want to do, right? I want to do, like, 2030 episodes a year, people. I really want to learn from putting out a show every Monday just because it's the business. I'm not into that, right. Like, I want to build platform. I come in here, I'm inspired. You see the multiple sets. I can envision this athlete's podcast, this athlete's show. We have three, four, five day a week shows live. We're going to do that right. And I'm more interested in that than being in front of the camera. And so you got to move a little differently, but you always got to show up as yourself. It's a learning process. That's what I would say.

But throughout this process and we can move on after this, but along this process, I think he's been the punching bag when he should have been getting his flowers.

Yeah.

Like real shit.

I think there's respect there, though. I think across the media landscape, people respect.

Yeah.

And that's also just a part of the Internet, is when you put yourself out there, people will it's never take you down. It's forever.

Going to be a point of topic in regards to Brandon Bartholomew tyrone the name. He Marshall.

I like it.

And while we got y'all attention, before he gets to talking about the make sure y'all come out to City Winery.

Yeah, check it out.

You mentioned Greg Olson a couple times. His name's in the news today. I don't know if you saw this yet. You see that there's a report that he wants to be the coach of the Carolina Panthers. What do you know about, like we know Greg. We like Greg. He's a good guy. Do you think he's got the right personality to be a head coach, or you think he wants to stay in the booth? But if your name's connected to a.

Head coaching, I think it's a little premature. Honestly speaking, do I think he could be a head coach one day? Yes. I think he's extremely thorough. I think he's an ultimate professional. I think he prepares in ways that he doesn't get or people don't even care to think of a tight end to be prepared that way. There's times where he finished the play before the play's prefix was even given. It was like, what does this sound like?

Hold on. Hey, guys, hold on.

No, we got empty to gun. Trips left, like 695.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Snap the that was who greg. That's a pretty compression, but I was with him. He made me. You know what I'm saying? I made him. That was a guy who those relationships in sports, in life, you know, from his wife to his beautiful kids, his twins, like, you just see the man kind of grow. So do I think he gets.

The.

Head coaching job for the Carolina Panthers? Who knows? If he gets it, I'll probably be at more panthers games, for sure.

Would you be the offensive coordinator?

No chance.

And what offense would you run?

I don't think a lot of offenses really lean on the impact of uptempo offense.

Yes.

I would have that fucker in high gear.

Yes.

Now, the problem is complimentary football, because I love whenever a team goes up tempo and don't let them sub, and just keep the pedal of the metal. But then if you go three and out in an up tempo offense, like multiple times, and your defense just on the field forever, that's why a little bit of why Chip Kelly in the NFL, maybe it didn't work out because once a defense starts stopping the uptempo offense, it's like, wait time and possession. Here our defense is on the field for 70 snaps. This is crazy.

It's a different way of ball control.

Yeah.

And whether it's up tempo or just ground and pound, it's still controlling the clock. Yeah, but I'm a product of the fruits of uptempo offense. It forces teams to get prepared. Another thing to work on, endurance in a given week, but also into the point that you was going to get to. We can get to it right now. I think a beneficiary who would benefit off of an uptempo offense is Justin Fields.

Yes.

Because a tired lineman does not want to run around trying to chase he.

Does look good when they go up.

He's like a great offensive coordinator.

Yeah. Are you guys think that Justin Fields, like the Bears, should keep him? And I mean, you know, Brandon, how this city works with quarterbacks. It's not maybe the best relationship when it comes to back. Oh, we need a backup. We need to move on.

Listen, I get so much love in Chicago. It's unbelievable. I left for a couple of years and coming back, maybe it was a year or so ago, I forgot how much love was in Chicago.

Okay.

And that last year, we imploded, and it was tough, but damn. I came in September, watched Justin against the packers, opening day, and there was like 100 players there, and they recognize us at halftime. And behind buckets, I got the second loudest ovation. And so thanks for the love, but I got to say this, and they know, the city knows. I'm always going to be real. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Leave fucking alone.

Yeah.

Leave Justin alone. Get the coaching system right, because I don't know if they need to. I'm not in the room, so I don't know if they need a new coach or the coach need to adjust.

Or an offensive coordinator, but what I'm.

Saying is, Justin can be special. Justin is special. Now, put him in the right situation. Leave him alone. Leave him alone.

Let him play ball. Let him go out there and play.

What you always say, keep it super simple.

Yeah.

No, it's true. When they do uptempo and they let him be himself. He looks great when you can see that they're trying to make him just a pocket passer. It starts to break down a little.

Is this is the narrative of and I was kind of judged on this principle.

Yeah.

People who think they know football or sports. Peyton Manning did this league a disservice. Right?

Okay.

By having like 350 yards passing, four touchdowns, the Bret Farves of the world. All right. Here comes Michael Vick. Here comes a Cam Newton. Here comes Steve Young.

Right.

Here comes these athletic quarterbacks that we're going to get the yards elsewhere. All right, so a typical winning stat line for Cam Newton is this 208, 215 yards passing, another 80 yards rushing, one touchdown either passing or running, and three touchdowns in total. Altogether, that's upwards of 300 yards in total offense. Not only that, it's controlling the clock and there's chunk plays in there, but it's not the prototypical way we're used to seeing yards being made. Right. Now, when you see Justin last night, right, he went ten for ten, but he probably had like 42 yards in those ten passes.

Yeah.

It's confidence builders now. You're throwing the ball out on smoke screens. You're throwing the ball out on bubble screens. You're throwing the screens, you're throwing this, you're throwing that. But at the same time, when it's time for him to say, this is a Justin Fields moment, get the fuck out of his way. He's now fresh to do that, rather than I would hate systems like this. Hand the ball off, 1 YD. Hand the ball off again, a negative two yards. Now it's third and twelve.

Yeah.

Always behind.

And I'm like, Yo, bro, I'm not that guy.

Right?

You know what I'm saying? Now you got these exotic blitz packages where it's like, hold on, hold on.

Hey, 52.

Is the mic here? Why?

They easy.

No. Hey, 38. Hey, let's rover to 52. It's too much, right? It's too much. Just let them go. Let them rock.

So if it's not offensive coordinator, can it be offensive consultant teams just hire you to bring you in, and that's a good one. You make a lot of money, and.

If the quarterback gets injured, you can be like, hey.

Coaches and organizations, they need to listen to players more.

That is not happening.

It's a lot of if I owned a would if I owned a team and I had a Josh Allen, I had a Justin Fields. I'm calling you.

What do we do?

Like, we got to learn from Cam Newton in 2015. MVP.

Yeah.

What are we talking about here?

But we got to turn the page too.

We got to turn the page.

But you're not retired yet.

Yeah, but you're not retired.

Do you know how to turn a page?

Yeah, I'm already on the other page.

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Today.

Get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. He lp.com PMT. And now here's more Brandon Marshall and Cam Newton. Let's turn the page backward real quick. Let's talk about Florida. Let's talk about going to school down Florida. I saw the look that I'm not going to ask you the bad stuff about Florida, but I do want to know just like, how crazy was it being on campus with all those guys that we know now were playing there under urban Meyer? I mean, you had, like, Tim Tebow, the pouncies were down there, right?

Of course. We're in the same draft class. I mean, recruiting class.

It seems like it was the biggest collection of the biggest group of personalities you could ever imagine on campus at one place.

Yeah, my second day on campus, they won a national championship, and it forever changed my mentality of college. At 17 years old, I graduated early and I was on campus, and classes were canceled because Florida was in the national championship, I think for the first time in like a decade. I think it was a spur year. This is the last time. So I'm like, I'm going to class. I'm supposed to go to class, and I'm looking all, I think I'm in the right place. Oh, class is canceled. Wow. Got pouncey twins. Got joe Hayden, carlos dunlap, myself, aaron Hernandez, rest in peace. Steve Wilkes was a receiver from lakeland ahmad black. It was seven of us. Brian Wagner, which was the number one quarterback from junior college, he wasn't kind of in our thing because he was older, but we were all in the same dorms together. And I just remember that second day when they won at Chris leak at the helm. Obviously, Tim Tebow had a major impact with that, and seeing that college experience went from university of Florida to project x, I was like, wow. My time at Florida was everything was impeccable.

If it was up to me, I would have never left Florida. But the main reason why I went to Florida was not happening. It wasn't manifesting for me. I went there to play football. I was never going to play football there in ways that I wanted to without hoping somebody got hurt. And I never wanted that to be like my mo. I didn't never want to be like a hater where it's like I was a celebrated person. Like, people saw it later on in my career when somebody scored. I didn't give a damn who score. I just was so excited about it. When Tebow went on that run to win a first, he was the youngest person to win a Heisman at that time, which was unbelievable. I wanted him to succeed. I just wanted to play, too.

Right.

And it wasn't enough footballs on the football field to do that. Exactly. So now I was like, Yo, I just got to leave. Because even though even putting a more microscope to the situation, they didn't even identify who the backup was. And I was having a conversation with my dad. I was like, Pop, they can't even name the official backup. Why would I stay here? The point is not to be the backup. The point is to be the guy. And I don't want to find myself in a situation as a junior or senior, and we're still platooning as teammates, which it is what it is. But if I could have it my way, this would have happened. Had they beat LSU that year when I was at Auburn, I would have loved to play Florida in the SEC championship.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, I was praying for that. Yeah, it would have been so many emotions.

What was your relationship like with Urban Meyer?

It was stagnant for so many years. I mean, it's not like I got his number now, but the first time I seen Urban was at a Tim Tebow's event. I think it was like my third or fourth year in the NFL. And they weren't used to people leaving and having success. That was kind of their thing. It was like, well, what's better than Florida, right? In 2008, it was Title Town, USA. You had Joe Kim, Noah in basketball, tim Tebow, Chris League in football.

Dan Bilzerian.

Yeah, a lot. And during that time, I didn't think that they knew a rose could be created from concrete, you know what I'm saying? It was just so hard to believe. So when I thrust it back on the scene at Auburn, it was like, how could you let this guy?

Yeah.

And everybody was scrambling like, no, he left because it was so many different reports about this, a stolen laptop of this or or that, that he still was doing. I was like, Listen, bro, so what.

Happened when he seen you at Tim Tebow's event?

What did you do?

I approached him.

Okay, and what happened?

I approached him and I was like, man, listen all bygones be bygones, bro. Coach appreciate you. You raised me and a lot of who I am, I owe it to Urban Meyer and especially Tim Tebow. The mentality, the grit, the preparation, the attitude, the persona, all that. I learned it initially from University of Florida and then when I went to junior college, I would have been a fool not to take on those different attributes and ingredients, so to speak, because we had Percy Harvin, Brandon Spikes, Cornelius Ingram, Lewis Murphy, Major Wright, like that. No, Brandon salary was gone. But these guys were very big personality, hardworking guys that they made working hard cool, and I wasn't used to that. You know what I'm saying, motherfucker? We going to get up, we're going to work, we're going to whoop some ass, we're going to party, we're going to whoop some ass again. That's what we're doing. And boom, they was doing it. I seen Joe Hayden literally lift two times. His body weight as beer was seeping through his pores. That's what the deal was. Like, yo, he parties hard, but he gets it, though, and shit.

I fell in love with that type of mentality. So when I went to dream college and I went to Auburn, I carried those same traits. Barring, I never drank. Still to this day.

You never drank a beer?

Never drank a beer.

Not one.

Not in my life. Or any hard alcohol. I'll drink wine.

I mean, that's alcohol. That's basically a beer.

Hard liquor, though.

We got a guy here who talks about his sobriety and he still smokes.

Weed and eats mushrooms.

That's not me. I've never well, before we switch topics.

Real quick, I got not Jersey Jerry, by the way, that's Ben Mince talking about.

One more question here, and then you guys can take wherever you want.

Oh, shit.

See Bordeaux.

Look at that's. Our guy.

Which path was sweeter, the journey to the national championship or the journey to the Super Bowl?

Good question.

You got to think because as he's talking about leaving Florida, being there, then going to Auburn, Auburn, they were nothing.

And that iron bowl was right.

It's almost like Kobe winning in it without shaq.

Right?

Can I flex?

Yeah.

All right.

Please.

There was two times in my life where I could not do no wrong, and there was two times in my life that I was 14 and Auburn 2015.

That's crazy.

We're undefeated in the NFL. I'm talking had I and this is a backstory. We lost a game that I did not practice that week. At that time, Carolina didn't have an indoor facility, so we were practicing. We were doing a lot of walkthroughs. The weather was bad, and then the day that it cleared up, my son Chosen, was born. So I skipped practice and we were having these kind of FaceTime calls, like, we're putting this in. I was already in Atlanta. Thank God we played in Atlanta. And my girlfriend at the time had Chosen, and I was like, yo, it's Christmas Eve. It was just so many different distractions. So had I had a great week of practice or a week of practice would probably been undefeated.

Yeah.

But I think it had to be Auburn.

Yeah, I thought you would say that's.

Sweet.

With the title.

Yeah, we won. But everybody knows Auburn is like the little brother to Alabama. And since day one being on campus, it was like, but we almost beat Alabama, right? I'm like, man, motherfucker, this shit is always to beat the motherfucker. It ain't to compete, it's to, you know, leading is something that I knew it wasn't going to be a verbal kind of leadership tactic. It was going to be a, I'm going to show you, motherfuckers, this is how I do it, you know what I'm saying? And as that season kept going, my life completely changed after that Saturday night game versus South Carolina, and I no longer could go to class. It was just a zoo. And I just remember people were so blown away by the fact that Auburn's winning, they've always had a good defense, but it's the offense, you know what I'm saying? And people also forget that I was only at Auburn for twelve months.

Yeah, dang, in and out, so left quite an impression.

I mean, listen, what God has for you, bro, is for you, and it's no denying that. So, man, I made an impact. I just threw a quick jab and got the hell out of there. So that altered my approach to the NFL, too, because leaving Florida, I was at Florida longer than I was at any other school. Sat Florida for two years, JUCO for one year. We won a national championship in junior college as well. Then I won a national championship at Auburn. But I don't have off seasons with people, you know what I'm saying? And like you guys, like, after this show, whatever, you guys families may connect or you may say like, bro, it's Thursday, bro, like it's half off wings. Like, this is our deal. I never had that in college. Everybody was getting to know it's like, hey, yo, I think that's can. That's the new quarterback. Five star guy.

Yeah.

Damn, he big as hell.

Like a ghost. Yeah, in and out.

So when I got to Carolina, that was something that my teammates was like, bro, you're going to be here for a long time, more than just a year. You got to lean into people and relationships.

Yeah, interesting.

And it fucked with me because.

I.

Came on a team where Steve Smith was trying to leave and he would tell me all the time, he's like, bro, I want to win yesterday.

Right.

I don't want to rebuild. I was part of rebuilding, know, the majority of the times that I was, you know, jordan Gross, Ryan Khalil. These guys are really just saying like, bro, that's not it. You don't do. That you can't just go a week without talking to people. They saw Cam is sulking know, losing and things like that. But the truth of the matter was that I didn't know how to lose because I didn't lose for two years.

Yeah, right.

Think about that. That's a good it's like a pros fighter, you know what I'm saying? It's like I went to JUCO and really for three, because when I first got to Florida, we won a national championship.

Yeah.

Then we had an off year still won. And then that following year, Tebow wins the Heisman and we win the national championship again. That year I left. Now I'm taking those attributes and saying, all right, in junior college, what am I going to do when okay, boom, we win a national championship there. Then when I got to Auburn, what are we going to do? When we won that and I was already a professional prior to I wasn't in the moment. After the national championship, everybody went back to Auburn and they celebrated. They rolled tumor scorn and they had a good time. What I do, I go to fly to La. Like the team's going to Auburn or Alabama. I'm flying to La. To do David Letterman.

Right?

Yeah.

That's why you should never draft a quarterback who wins a lot in college. Draft a loser and they'll be ready.

To lose in the NFL.

But it's just still a process. It's still a process. And that was some of the things that I had to do a lot of soul searching and realized a lot of what I thought was winning energy is not. And it's a different monster in the NFL, and guys like Bryce Young have to know, like Justin Fields, it's a process. From the fans, from ownership to the management, it's a process. And the best that we can get them comfortable, the better off they're going to be.

I'm curious to know, because you talked about forgiveness a couple of times. Have you ever made forgiveness with Rosemary Plorin? Do you know who that is? Does that name ring a bell to you? She wrote a letter to the Charlote Observer back in, like, 2015 because she took her daughter to a game. Do you remember this letter?

Hold on.

Were you all just not talking about this? We're talking about celebrations.

Yeah.

And this was after the game of the Nashville Tennessee Titans.

We were just yeah, just talk about yeah.

She said what?

So this is Rosemary's letter. All time letter to the editor. I actually think they sold celebration, like, hundreds of thousands of papers because the letters to the editor regarding Cam Newton.

Yeah, you got a lot of mad.

They were fire. Here's what Rosemary said. Because of where we sat, we had a close up view of your conduct in the fourth quarter. The chest puffs, the pelvic thrusts, the arrogant struts, and the in your face taunting of both the Titans players and the fans, we saw it all because you're a role model. Your behavior brought out the like behavior in the stands. Some of Panthers'fans in our section began to taunt the hometown fans. Many Titans fans booed you a few offering instructive, but necessarily family friendly suggestions on how you might change your behavior. My daughter sensed the change immediately and started asking questions. Won't he get in trouble for doing that? Is he trying to make people mad? Do you think he knows he looks like a spoiled brat? I didn't have great answers for it, honestly. In an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and the mascot. So because I think you dabbed. I think you dabbed in Rosemary's face.

Yeah.

And she was like, that's disgusting. How do I explain that to my daughter?

Well, the hip thrust, that's not a part of my celebration.

She's talking about, like, your Elvis.

Yeah.

No, that comment led to what we saw on the Thanksgiving gang with the Cowboys, because I think we played them next that following week. So I did the twist.

Oh, yeah.

That was like my kind of, hey, I heard you talking. Maybe I'm going to do a dance that you can relate to and then do the little thing and then add my thing at the end.

Yeah.

So I was so comfortable in my skin. I've always been the outcast, even in my family, and being misunderstood, being stereotyped, so when I see different, it doesn't make me go away like most people. If anything, it makes me interested into that person, that thing, that whatever it is, and hell different. I'm like, Yo, hold on, let me get my own perspective about what this is.

Right?

And that article is just a perfect example of what my career was, because a lot of people took chances on me. Brad Francion, my head coach at junior college. Gene Chiswick, Gus Malazan, curtis Looper. Trooper Taylor. Like these guys at Auburn.

Chiswick was the reason I landed at UCF.

Believe it.

Yeah.

Gene Chiswick.

And even with Marty Herney and Ron Rivera drafting me, or Big Cat, Mr. Richardson drafting me, number one overall, like, these things are a reason why it's like, bro, it's okay to be different. But I think I always say this. That's the number one reason why we have racism, prejudiceness, sexism, any type of grouping in this country. Because people aren't curious to find out for themselves. They make the preconceived notion, like, why does he wear his hair like that? Instead of saying, hey, Cam, are those dreadlocks? Rather than just saying, like, no, I don't like it. It looks nappy.

You can ask the same question, though. So, like, what you're saying, you can be like, why are you wearing your hair like that? Or you can be like, why are you wearing your hair like that. Yeah, like the curiosity.

Intellectual curiosity.

Right?

Something that's lost.

I've had it so many different times where no, they won't never say, like, why do you wear your hair like that? They just won't say no.

That's what I'm saying, though. But to your point, tell me why.

You wear your hair like that.

Yeah, there's a curiosity to it. Then there's like, a judgment. You can ask the same question. I do want to say this real quick. This, dude, I want to get your flowers. You're really good at what you do. We know you, big cat. We obviously know you guys been doing this a long time. But one, you're a really good reader.

Okay?

So Rosemary and like, you do your fucking your research. I appreciate that. You are super talented, and I want to give you your flowers.

Thank you.

Thank you, bro.

You guys are both really good.

Appreciate that.

I appreciate flowers.

We were having this conversation, right? So he was like, yo, bro, like, you're an athlete and you're doing all this media stuff. I'm like, no, bro, don't consider me an athlete. I'm a YouTuber.

I like that.

I just did my show.

And then one of my producers was like, yo, can we just take a couple pictures for you? And then he don't even know what he did, but he just shitted on my whole parade. He was like, oh, YouTube.

Yeah.

No, YouTube.

I remember those days.

No, what it is, it's so funny because our guys do the same thing where they have a camera and they come up to you and they're like, all right, you take a couple of pictures. Act mad, act happy, be surprised. And I'm like, there's a YouTube thumbnail. It was joking, but the way you said it was just I had one last question. This has been awesome. Everyone do listen. I am athlete fourth and one. Go out to the I am Iconic tour when they're in your city. My last question was rowback question. Rho back promo code. Take 20% off first purchase. Qzips, polos, hoodies. Joggers shorts. So this is a theory that I stumbled upon a couple of weeks ago with the Broncos. Right now, it applies to the Broncos. And I was like, as soon as we get another couple guys on who played in the league, I'd love to get their take. The Broncos season has turned around because the theory is that trade deadline happens. They're supposedly sellers. They're going to sell everyone off, and then nothing really happens. And then they have everyone in that room, and they're like, this is what we got.

And we no longer have to think about who's leaving, who's coming. What are we doing? Now we just got to figure it out ourselves. Did that happen in locker rooms where you had a moment in a season where it's like, okay, this is us. We're not getting outside help. No one's leaving. This is us. We got to go figure it out ourselves.

Yeah.

So I'm going to be very direct here as to why this season turned around.

Okay?

Starts with leadership, and it starts with one guy, russell Wilson. This is a guy that walks into the locker room, into the facility every day, and he doesn't change. He doesn't fold, even when it fucking hurts.

Yeah, we've said he feels it hurt.

Yeah, he feels it. That's leadership. I show up at the same time every day. Win or lose, we're going to have this Tuesday meeting. Win or lose, I'm pepping my step on the practice field.

Win or lose.

You know how many people fold in those moments? Change up player coaches try to act tough. Tough coaches try to be player coaches. No, that's it. Now, obviously, defensively, they go from last year top five, then they turn into the worst defense in the league, and then all of a sudden they switch. Van Joseph, he turns it around. So that's a big deal. 16 turnovers through this five game win streak, only giving up 20 points. Huge deal. But you got to understand, like when a Cam Newton walks in a room or Russell Wilson walk in a room, what is it thermostat they're the one that's going to set the tempo. So if you got your head down, everybody else going to put their head down, pack it up. Russell Wilson, for two years, a year and a half, came in and just stayed the same. But he definitely felt it, for sure. And so my theory is that the turnaround happened because Russell Wilson and his unwavering faith, he never folded, even when it hurt.

I like that because it's true there were some tough times. He was getting shit on a lot, ourselves included.

I think people don't give the respect to the process, enough credit, and of course, leadership, right? But nobody believes or gives moral victories for losing. There are so many different times where a game was to be won if this would not have happened. Some mistakes are not you can't come back from certain mistakes happening. A blown coverage, a holding penalty, a bad play. Allah, this past weekend, Auburn and Alabama, right? Those games are decided. Some mistakes are forgiven, some mistakes aren't. Certain processes with a team to say, like, yo, we're three and five right now, that doesn't make us a bad team. We just had some bad breaks. That three and five. Those five games that we lost may have been a great play by the opposing team, a missed holding, call in coverage. Nobody cares about us not losing a one score game. But the reality of it is we're not too far away, right? Sometimes you get rewarded for insufficiencies and calls, and sometimes you get punished for insufficiencies and calls. So with that being said, it's just like it's not necessarily luck. It's just a process. When teams are bumping, they have a good locker room.

Leadership is there, skill is there that cohesion is there, and you see it. So, yeah, with the Denver Broncos, is it something to put your finger on one thing? It's like no, it's like they never was off outside of the game with the Dolphins.

They got the ship to your point, to cam's point, to piggyback off of that opening day. They played the raiders. 1716 how do we correct that? And you play the Commanders 35 33, and then you had a Dolphins game 70 to 20. Big deal. But then you come back and you play the Bears, you win 31 28, and then you lose to the jets 31 21. These are all winnable games. And even if you watch the Broncos lose to the Chiefs, I think that was Thursday night Football or Sunday night Football. It was 1819, but they were in that game until the fourth quarter. It's an afterthought.

People forget that.

And I'm sorry, go, no, that's it.

But it's like bringing the two together. When you are in the Valley, when you're in the trenches, when you're faced with adversity, how do you show up? Right? I mean, some of the great ones that I've seen, like even Eli Manning, like end of my career, did the same thing every single day. He sat in the same seat every single day. He ate the same food every single day. No matter. Can't he just always say, I can't break routine? Hey, bro, we just landed in Detroit. Let's go to dinner. I got to go get a massage. I can't break know, so the leadership.

There has I said this at dinner last night, and Mike Shula told me this. It's never as good as you make it seem, and it's never as bad as you make it seem. It's about your perspective, though, right? And offensive football is the ultimate team sport. Not defensive football, not special teams. It's offensive football. And when you sit back and you just think about so many different determining factors with football as a whole the greats, the Brady's, the Mannings, you name it, right?

Bordels.

Bordels, right. I'm pretty sure he's had Blake bordels we're talking about. He could have been a Super Bowl winning quarterback.

He should have been backs. He got hosed in that AFC champion.

Come on now. But nobody talks about that. That's an afterthought. So many different people, those things. Was it an onside kicker?

Miles Jack?

Miles Jack was ruled down. He wasn't down.

Those things people don't remember. But when you go back and you watch these games and for Thanksgiving, we saw they had the Camback, the Iron Bowl, and I remember looking at this game, and I was saying, I said, what if he would have dropped that ball? What if Antoine Carter punched the ball out from Mark Ingram while he was running and the ball just rolled miraculously 20 yards to get a touchback? I'm like, yo, these things don't what if the Charles Woodson sack was called a fumble?

Yeah.

What if Adam Venetari would have just said, you know, fuck you, I'm going to miss this. It's so many what ifs in sports that after you lose, no one cares, but the reality of it is, it's not as good as you make it seem. It's not as bad as you make it seem. We're not too far off, fellas. We're three and five as a record, but we're not a three and five football team. The great coaches will their guys to believe in that. The great players lead their team to saying, let's put this into perspective. We still have a chance if you catch it sooner, enough. Those are forgivable mistakes. Leaning on rookies, you get an asshole guy that comes in first round draft pick. He's new to money. He's going to buy the Bentleys and the roses and all things of that. It's like, motherfucker, hey, we need you to make sure that you know what you're supposed to do on these checks, right? When I get corner cat, motherfucker, look, you running your regular route. I don't got time for you to run a 15 yard dig, bro. You got to do an auto fade, bro.

Coach went over that all week. Matter of fact, I'm going to tell you when I've tapped my helmet, bro, even though it's going to be subtle. I see a three tick in a shade right here. That's equivalent the third and six to eight. This coordinator loves this blitz. He's blitzing off your like those things when they get it.

Yeah.

You've been watching tape?

Yeah, watch it.

I'm like, oh, shit. Okay, coming.

Great answer, though.

But when you get guys like that and you sound like, yo, bro, hey. You do it. And then he sees it, but boom. You say why?

They said that?

You're expecting them to run a back shoulder fade or the idle fade. You throw it in anticipation. It's a pick six. You come to the silent like, yo, bro, what's going on? You got an asshole rookie like, man, fuck that. Get out my face. It's like, no, bro, that cost us the game, right? We was trying to tell you this shit in Wednesday meeting, but you motherfucking looking at your phone DMing, you worried about your food?

Man, fuck your food.

Like those type of things, the ones who get it, they get it.

Did you ever go too far with that? Like getting on somebody?

I had to get some straightening.

But.

A lot of people just think shit sweet, though, because of the hats and outfits and things like that.

Well, you guys have been crushing it. We appreciate you guys coming by. Anytime you're in Chicago, we'd love to have you come by.

Don't tell this guy that.

Yeah, I am athlete fourth and Myconic tour yet? No, you guys can come tomorrow if you want.

If you want to come by, bring our cigars, too.

Yeah, I need to shoot my show.

Oh, all right, then. You're in. All right. Thank you. We got a studio for you. No problem. No problem. But yeah. Cam Newton. Brandon Marshall. Thank you, guys. We really appreciate it.

This is a low lift, bro.

Yeah.

Appreciate you guys. Fire Fest of the week is brought to you by Coors Light. I love Coors light. It's beer season, baby. I'm back in on beer. I don't know if you guys heard. I'm all in on beer this winter. This is going to be a big wintertime for beer. You know what I love about beer this time of year? You can put it outside that's right god's refrigerator. The outdoors cools your beer down. You grab one from outdoors, and guess what? The mountains are blue.

Look at that.

The mountains are blue on this Coors Light I'm holding right now. Coors Light will help you find moments to unwind. If you have a big work presentation, you can follow it with happy hour, some friends, and an ice cold Coors Light. If you got weekend chores, take Saturday off. Hit the tailgate. Even if you don't have tickets to the game, whenever you need to hit reset, reach for a Coors Light. It's made to chill. There's only one beer out there that's literally made to chill, and that's Coors Light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. That way you always know when it's time to chill. When you need to hit reset, just open a Coors Light. It's mountain cold refreshment. It's made to chill. I love Coors light. It's the beer that I reach for when I'm drinking beer. It's always there. I've always got a Coors Light in my refrigerator. I'm going to go home tonight. Guess what I'm going to do? I'm going to crack open a Coors Light. That's what I'm going to do right now. I've got a cooler that's filled with Coors Light.

It's out on my porch. I'm going to dip into that bad boy and I'm going to chill with Coors Light. The one that I choose when I need to unwind. It's made to chill. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with drizzly or instacart by going to CoorsLight.com take celebrate responsibly coors Brewing Company Golden, Colorado.

Okay, fire Fest of the week, wrapping up the week. Great week. Great football weekend coming up.

One of the best.

One of the best. Hank Henry.

I'm sick.

What are you sick with?

I have been sneezing a lot. I have a stuffy mucusy.

Mucusy what?

Penis, voice stool.

Throat.

And I just took a shower. I just took like one of those, like, 1 hour showers the other day where I was just like, I don't even want to get out of the shower.

You get trapped in the shower?

Do you have body aches?

COVID? I don't think so.

I don't know.

I might have to get tested.

No, don't.

But yeah, nothing too crazy this week.

Wait. I don't want Hank to give me COVID.

Well, I just want to get better for this 24 hours stream.

Jake is taking out his mask right now.

I was looking at my backpack of medicines to see if I had anything.

That could help you, but that would be funny if you had COVID and you gave it to Max during the live stream.

But the 24 hours stream.

Yeah, it's going to be fun.

Whatever you have now, you're going to improve just enough to still be contagious and feel better and then give it to Max. I'm excited about that.

Yeah.

I'm not excited. I'll try and make it as fun as possible. You guys said no phones, which is absolute bullshit, because if it was one of you two, you would never allow that.

What do you mean?

You guys would never go 24 hours without your phones.

Yeah, I would.

Oh, you wouldn't?

No.

And Hank brought this up to me when we were talking, and he goes, that's bullshit, because you would never do that. And I said, you're right.

I would personally do it.

Yeah, and that's a great response. He's right.

I'm with Hank here. It's true.

Right? So I admit that he's right. What do we do now?

I don't know.

Be fair.

Be honest.

Maybe be better with your Mount Rushmore. Guesses so.

To me, I lobbied to give you, like, phone.

Rig, the votes you gave up. You said no one knew that what's his name? Jerome bettis was on the Rams. That's a fact.

Everyone knew that. He was also All Pro as a rookie on the Rams.

We're not doing this argument again.

No. Heck, I wanted to give you access to your phone once every, like, 2 hours, check your text only to see if there was an emergency. I would be down for that.

Why don't we earn some?

Okay.

Yeah, we'll do that. We'll do that. We'll earn some. We'll earn some. We'll earn some.

You're going to love how you earn.

It if one kiss, five minutes.

Well Shazir.

Whoa. Are you talking about blowjobs or anal sex? He said two books.

Sending volume two of Ultimate Guide.

I got to know what changed. Volume one, there must have been, like.

A FaceTime or a follow up. Like there was the text conversation.

Yeah.

It felt like we were missing hole a little bit.

Like kind of flirtatious, kind of not and then just like, hey, what's up, bam. How to give a blow job. How to do anal.

Volume two just being like I regret the chapter in volume one that said use a lot of teeth. Update. Do not use a lot of teeth. All right, good fire fest.

Thanks, Sick Boy.

Sick Boy.

Okay, PFT.

My fire fest of the week is that there's something that I've got set up on my phone.

Drink, piss, shut the fuck up. Yes.

No. And that's actually not the worst thing that's happened to me this week, believe it or not. I've got something set up on my phone where when it connects to my car speaker, automatically it starts blasting a song, right? And on full volume on my phone. I don't know how I set this up on my phone. Now, for a lot of people, it's like, oh, the YouTube album starts playing or something that you have in your itunes library. I've downloaded very few songs onto my itunes library. I usually use Spotify, but one song that I have downloaded is the one that starts playing, and it's absolutely going to fuck me over at some point. As a joke, I downloaded Eminem's song FAK Fack. And it is maybe the worst song of all time, right? It's yeah, that song, it's banger. It's so bad. I actually do think it's the worst song of all time. And every time I sit down in my car at max volume on my speaker, it's Eminem being like, I'm going to eat that pussy. And it's bad. Fortunately enough for me, I've been driving. I haven't had any passengers in my car since it started, which is like three, four days ago.

But there's going to be a time when somebody who should not listen to that song hops into my passenger seat and it starts talking about Eminem getting his dick sucked.

Yeah, that's tough.

That's really the when I had the Mazda, it used to do that. I listened to music on Spotify also. Shout out to everyone. Spotify Rapped. Very nice. Always fun to see.

Yeah, that was great.

So I don't listen to Apple Music, and all my itunes would just be me downloading the podcast recordings onto my computer so I could edit. And so when I would get in my car, it would just randomly start playing a recording session of the podcast, where we usually record for like, 30 seconds or a minute before we start.

Yeah.

So it would just be like a random conversation of whatever we were talking about from, like, two years ago, which is always just like a fun let's see what we were talking about this day. Yeah, sometimes I'd be like, oh, shit.

Yeah, I'm just going to read verse two because this is the verse that it's stuck on from Eminem.

Okay.

Parental advisory. If you got kids in the car, turn it up. Oh, yeah.

God.

OOH wow.

Boom.

That POW. OOH, wow. I need a cigarette now.

Ow.

I'm so fucking hot. And you're so fucking hot. Oh, my God. I want a fucking no, no, not fuck. I said FAK. F-A-C-K-F-A-C-K. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck.

Fucking freak. Me. Oh, yeah, girls. See, baby, they call me Mr. Freaky. Let's call your sister three way. Have some threesome. Me so horny and you're such a fucking babe. I want to go down on you.

Fuck.

You shaved. Oh, God damn. Here I go again. I'm going to come. I am. So that's what plays in my car.

Jesus.

Every time I sit down and start it up and it's at. When I say Max volume, I mean maximum volume in my car.

Damn.

So I got to straighten that out.

That's a lot.

Otherwise I'm going to have some splain to do.

Yeah.

All right. My fire fest is I also was sick. I had a stomach thing. That was a battle. I battled. I lost like probably ten pounds, though, so that's pretty cool.

You look great.

Yeah.

Thank you. I do need a haircut. And then I have a game of the year on Saturday, the SEC championship.

Over how's it a fire fest because.

It takes a lot out of me and I'm already weakened by the diarrhea, so I'm already in a fragile state. Now I have to get my strength up. I hope you thank you, Jake.

Yep.

What?

Max, that's loser talk.

Is that you're going to say?

No, that's not loser talk. I'm saying I battle hard.

It's a fire.

Bat. I don't know if my body is ready. I need to get rest. I need to sleep. Last time I lost a game of the year, I got sick for a month.

How many games of the year do you have in one year?

Usually like three or four.

I feel like your game of the year, the SEC title game every year.

I love it. I love it. It's going to be so much fun to watch that game. I'm so excited to watch that game. I love that game so much.

It is going to be great. I think this is the best weekend of football that we've had in quite some time.

Yeah.

And we have the crown jewel and the crown jewel.

Capping it off. Did you see Triggs, the guy that does the COVID art for part of my take? Tremendous artist.

Awesome.

Very talented guy. He made a flowchart of which teams are going to get into the playoffs.

I love that.

Depending on who won. Yeah, it's a psycho.

But hey, Max didn't understand.

It's very complicated.

It's very simple.

I was sitting at my desk, memes can attest. I was looking at this thing for five minutes, just going through everything. I'm like, still very simple. To think I did end up getting it. I didn't end up getting there's. Just a lot of arrows and never.

Here'S the thing, Max, is we have not been exposed to that. Like, if we had seen that every year during this weekend where it's like, here's the College Football Playoff flowchart, then we grew up seeing it and it's normal to us. But this is the first time I've ever seen four teams with the arrows. Here's what happens. Here's what happens. It took me a good, like, 10 seconds of staring at it.

It's.

Okay, now I get it.

He correctly, too. Like the Ohio State fans, they have a path, but they don't realize because I was talking to Big EV earlier, they need Washington to sneaky win. Because if Oregon beats Washington close, why would Washington not be the one lost team that gets that's? And Triggs actually called that out perfectly.

That happened last year, right? The Buckeye snuck in after losing to Michigan.

Yeah, there was not as many undefeated teams. Okay, jake, I can't.

Parallel park was home in Florida.

No, duh.

I want to say something so bad, but I can't.

You can say it.

No, I can't. I honestly can't. I have zero room to talk to you about maneuvering a car in a parking lot. But you can say it. No, I'm not going to say it.

But if you were to say it.

I'm not going to say it because then obviously I had an unfortunate moment where I was a bad driver, so I can't talk about it.

Yeah, but it's really hard to do.

No, it's not. It's really not.

With in Florida, they don't make you do that. They just make you do a regular.

But with is it a newish car? You were they've made they put it on easy mode.

Yeah, it is.

It used to be old man yelling a cloud. Like when we were growing up. PFD. The first car you drove, you had to really parallel park.

Yeah.

Last like five years. They've made it so easy. All the cameras, all the sensors. It's a fucking job. I actually miss it a little bit.

I've never had a camera.

You've never had a camera?

No.

Yeah.

So, you know, old school parallel parking.

I need to get a car.

I just got my well, of course you don't have a camera. You don't have a car?

No.

Well, I just got rid of my car before I moved to Chicago.

Got it. I never had a camera until this car. And it's easy mode. It's easy mode. But also I've done it for what, like a month, two months? And immediately I'm finding myself being like, how did I ever do this before? Yeah, no, it's bad. It's like when they first invented GPS. You're like, wait, you had to look at a map ahead of time, and then you had to know what the different roads were and memorize all that.

Used to print out map Quest even before map Quest?

Yeah.

Where it was like, here's a oh.

Yeah, I remember that list. My dad used to like, we'd pull over and you just look at a fucking map.

Yeah.

Like, we're going to get off at this place. What?

That shit happened all the what the.

Fuck are you talking about?

And you had to follow along on the like it was some advanced shit. But immediately now that I've got a backup camera and the sensors and all that, I don't think I could go back.

Yeah.

Wait, so, Jake, were the backup cameras like you weren't looking at cause that I'll back you up in the fact that sometimes I don't trust didn't you just didn't know how the car moved?

Yeah, it was my first time driving the car.

I don't really frequently. Oh, it's the first time. That doesn't mean you don't know how to parallel park. I mean, I don't okay. Yeah, that also probably when I had.

A car in high school, I couldn't do it.

Okay.

You know what the most exhilarating thing is when you have like, an audience that's watching you parallel park.

I got a question. I really hope the answer to this is not going to be what it is. Have you ever gotten out of your car and had someone else payroll park it for you?

No.

Oh, thank God. No, that would have been bad. That is the ultimate cuck move.

Yeah.

Mount Rushmore. Cuck moves. We'll do that next summer to be like, hey, can you please help park my own car for me?

No, I'll just leave and find different.

Spot that would be yeah. If I can't get all right, jake.

Or sometimes the person leaving in front of you leaves and then it's much easier.

Yeah.

You know what one of my favorite moves to do is when you see somebody about to parallel park, you just walk out there and you start helping.

Yeah.

Direct them without being asked.

Yeah.

And it's like, I got you, buddy.

Yeah.

Kind of a first responder.

Yes.

Okay, let's finish up the show numbers. 18, 1771, 28 evidence memes evident memes.

What did you say?

311 for pug.

Eleven pug.

I am pug.

Three for memes.

97 has that hit here before?

I don't know.

Stand by.

I feel like 97 has good thing.

I can check part of myballs.com 97 has not hit yet.

That seems like a website.

Four in the hit that's a website.

Like selling some kind of weird thing.

You got to shout out to David who made it and he gave me the access to start editing the data.

So love you guys. We've had 95 and 96 here.

Yeah.

It I could see it but now I realize you make me believe me space to play show me what you mean make you believe a thousand memories good for you. Don't want it to be over look at my wife and finally sweet nobody loves the match from we couldn't fear now it's not enough give me space to breath show me what you mean all of this remain memory cliffing you need when I want it to be over look at my everything all my take it through your eyes to the sun to the side out now I know we're gonna make it now I know we can't escape it maybe you could be the one remain above the memory the good from you and me when I wanted to be over? Look at my feet. You're my? Look at my feet, you're my dream take become my?