Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. What's up guys?

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Pack of fireball on today's part in my take. We have a lot to get to. We have great interview with Krissa Thompson, our friend Chrissa in studio, the manager of the World Series, Texas Rangers Bruce Bochi on the show as well. We are going to talk Monday night Football. The bills are in trouble. We're going to talk some college football. Jaden Daniels for heisman. We have Hank's presentation about the Lighthouse, which he's been complaining about, crying about, being a baby about. And then we have guys on Chicks. Great show for everyone. It is brought to you by our friends at the Farmer's Dog. The results of switching your dog's food from kibble to fresh can seem like magic with a senior dog starts acting like a puppy again and the pickiest of eaters can't wait for dinner time. You might think some spells were cast, but the Farmer's Dog doesn't use any sorcery or secret ingredients to make their fresh food. Just science. The Farmer's Dog makes and delivers fresh, healthy dog food. It's developed by vets, nutritionally balanced, and made from real healthy ingredients to human food safety standards. It's the best option for dogs of all life stages because it's not kibble, it's not can goo.

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We gonna rock down to electric it's pardon my take.

Presented by Barcelona sports.

Welcome to pardon my take. Today is Wednesday, November 15, and the Buffalo Bills stink.

They might be dead.

They might be dead.

Let's talk window. You got to talk window.

Ready?

What's the window like?

Closed.

You think it's officially closed? I think they're about to jump out of the window.

That was a very bad Monday Night Football game. Hank, why are you taking a picture of me? He's doing a TikTok. He's doing a TikTok. I didn't mean to stop TikTok.

I had the cameras in here. I had the over under on when we were going to get pissed off at Hank during this show, at being five and a half minutes into it. Smash the under on that one.

You know what? Hank is probably one of those he's a plant. He's a comment section. Yeah, because he was trying to derail us because we were actually going to bash the Bills. He's one of the guys like you guys never say anything bad about the Bills. You guys are pussies. You're frauds. He was trying to get us off our do.

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start my own TikTok. It's going to be 1 second with Henry Lockwood for the entire year. 1 second a day.

I like it.

365, teacher.

Yeah.

365 days of grumpy Hank.

Grumpy Hank. Okay. The bills are bad. They're in trouble. Sean McDermott, bad. Broken. Ken Dorsey fired, which is we know it. It's shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic. When you start firing offensive coordinators, defensive coordinators in the middle of the season, it usually is not a great sign.

I have a question for you. Big catch with Ken Dorsey. Yeah. Did Ken Dorsey put twelve guys on the field at the end of the game last night?

Ken Dorsey also didn't throw the interceptions that Josh Allen has been throwing more of. He has been bad.

I think they need to get an offensive coordinator installed that will tell Josh Allen harder not to turn the ball over.

We know Josh is a gunslinger. I still think he's a very good quarterback. This season has not been good because if you look at his numbers, you can live when Josh Allen is in the high thirty s and like the ten to 15 interception range right now through ten weeks, he's at 19 touchdowns. Eleven interceptions. The interception on first down at the end of the half when he basically gave them three points, that was really bad. And you can't win football games when you're careless with the football. Like Josh Allen's been. He's been bad. Something is wrong. Maybe it is the offense coordinator. I think it also just needs josh needs to have like a come to Jesus moment of like, hey, I can't be a superhero on every single play. I have to take care of the football better because you're putting your defense in a bad spot. You're putting your team in a bad spot when you throw those type of interceptions.

I thought the defense didn't play poorly at all last.

No, they played well.

They played pretty well.

Broncos had the ball at the 50 yard line every drive.

Yeah, the Broncos lived in between the 30 yard lines for this entire game. So the defense in Buffalo is not the issue. Although it is kind of weird that they put twelve guys on the field for that field goal at the very end. McDermott also had you remember he had twelve guys, maybe even 13 guys on the field at the end of that Vikings game.

He did that on purpose that they didn't call.

Yeah, did that on purpose. Was this on purpose and hoping that they didn't call it because it was.

Such a short field goal? I don't know. It was a comical ending of the game because it was like Sean Payton was also trying to lose the game by using his timeouts and then doing the rush on the field fire drill. But the biggest takeaway from this game and we'll talk about the Broncos in a second, because Russell Wilson actually does look good is the Bills are broken and they right now, I would say almost. I don't think they're going to be in the playoffs.

I don't think they are either.

They have a really tough schedule. They're five and five now. And it feels like everything, whatever it was, you can point back to the 13 seconds, you could point back to DeMar Hamlin, the Bengals game last year in the playoffs, but something is very broken and it feels like there's blame to go around a lot of places. Josh being he's a quarterback. He gets the blame when they don't win, and he gets the blame when he throws bad interceptions. And I think Sean McDermott, who he has had some bad moments this year. The 13 guys on the field, the weird travel to London where the Bills clearly were sleepwalking the first half. Also Sean McDermott, I know this is old school coaching. James Cook fumbles on the first play of the game.

Doghouse.

James Cook, I think it was his second fumble in his career. Now, he did have some other weird moments because I think that was Josh's fault on the handoff. But then he also fumbled and picked it up, which was the coolest play ever later in the game. Why would you bench your guy? Who is they came out in the end of the second quarter and they had his touchdown drive where everything looked great. And it all started because James Cook was running the ball and being explosive and everything fed off that you basically sat one of your key parts of your team because he fumbled the ball in the first play. It makes no sense. It makes no sense.

Coaches have doghouses for running backs.

They don't have doghouses for quarterbacks or kickers. No. Imagine if you bench your kicker in game after he missed the that's what I'm saying.

Or if you bench your quarterback because he threw an interception early in the game. It's only running backs get put into doghouses. Like, I can't trust this guy. Well, maybe James Cook has had a significant enough body of evidence to prove that. Maybe he can hang on to the football for a while.

Right?

If it's like a recurring thing where you fumble and granted, running backs don't it's not like you're running the ball as often as you're passing in most offenses. So if you throw one interception every like, 35 passes, not as big a deal as if you fumble once every, like, twelve carries. So I understand that. But James Cook is a good player. It didn't really make a lot of sense that they were like, we're just going to do Latavius Murray.

Yeah, let's build our offense in 2023 around Latavius Murray.

He's 33. In running back years, he's like 35. But yeah, he made some questionable decisions. I thought that the Bills offense would not be this discouraging if they didn't turn the ball over all the time. It looks like they've got guys in space sometimes. Josh Allen, you could say it's a bad year. You could also point at either the Madden curse or what I think is more likely the Room 40 curse. Ever since Josh Allen disgracefully dees nuts us on these very airwaves in front of children, he hasn't been the same quarterback. Maybe he needs to apologize for that. I'm not sure. But Josh I like Josh as a person. I want him to do well. I root for Josh every time he plays, he's electric to watch when he's playing well. He has not played well this year.

No, he's not played well. And he has to figure out the turnovers because it feels like it's gotten progressively worse in the last few years. I think he has 71 interceptions since 2018. And I also think there's a arm strength is a great asset to have, but it also can be a negative when you think you can make every throw all the time. I've watched it before with Cutler Farv had a little of this where it's like, my arm is so strong that I don't care what the coverage is and figuring out how to maybe take a little off and also say, I don't have to make every don't. Not every throw has to be, oh, these guys are covered, but my arm is so strong I can get it in there. That decision making has to fix because otherwise the Bills are I mean, again, I don't think they're going to make the playoffs this year, but we're talking long term now. Like, this is something that he's got to start fixing right now so that he can build on it going into next year. The other thing is Ken Dorsey. I have no problem with Ken Dorsey being fired in the fact that some of the play calling is absolutely, like, tragic.

The fourth and one. Shotgun. Why any team that's in fourth and one and goes shotgun should the OC should be fired right away. Yeah, you have to get 1. You're like, now let's get seven yards. It's crazy. It's crazy.

I hate that. And it seems like the running backs, they're on their heels. The quarterbacks are on their heels. They don't get a great running start. Just do man football. Whatever happened to eye formation? Whatever happened to pro set? Whatever happened to offset eye?

Whatever happened whatever happened to good old.

Fashioned fullback, big cat? Whatever happened to two yards in a cloud of duck? What about John Coon? If you need two yards, he'll get you three. If you need five yards, he'll get you three.

Yeah, it feels like they overthink all these things. We also now have Stefan diggs. His brother said, got to get 14 out of there. Feels like we've been on Diva Watch with Stefan, but it is feeling like it's hit a critical point. Everything feels wrong in Buffalo. I feel bad for the people of Buffalo, but I think that everything we're saying, they know, and they have known know the majority of this season, that everything is broken and you have to figure out a way to fix it because you're paid Josh a lot of money and it starts with him and the interceptions.

I feel like Josh Mrs. Dable, I think they had something really good together. I like Joe Brady, though. Joe Brady was half of the offensive mind behind Joe Burrow when he was at LSU.

He wasn't great in Carolina wasn't, but.

Again, he was in Carolina.

Now he's got a new chance.

He's got a new chance, he's got a better quarterback. I'm excited to see what they do, but, yeah, I don't think that the Bills are going to make the playoffs. I don't think it's going to happen.

Their schedule is a gauntlet now, so that was supposed to be one of their easy wins, especially at home. And that's the thing that's frustrating with the Bills. As bad as they have looked, they almost won that game last night. You know what I mean? They go up with a minute left. That's just kind of how they've been living, where even in their bad games, it's like, oh, they could win this game. They play the jets, who have their number at Eagles, at Chiefs, Cowboys at home.

How many of those are at night? That's the big question, because this year Josh Allen has only one seven touchdown. Well, no, I guess he has, what, eight touchdowns now and nine interceptions.

Actually, none of those none of those four I listed are at night. The following week is a night game.

That's very good because Josh Allen this year has turned into Kirk Cousins in primetime.

Yeah.

What are you going to say that makes no sense?

What? That? Those aren't night games.

One of those games should be a primetime game.

You think it'll be flex?

It should be which one in Vegas?

Tariq will be like, let's go, Chiefs Dolphins or cowboys.

Not Dolphins. Jets, Eagles, Chiefs, Cowboys, Eagles, Chiefs or Cowboys. Yeah.

Versus the Chargers.

Yeah. Chargers.

Well, the networks got to block certain games, so those are going to be America's game of the week with NANS and Romo for some of them because they're all 04:00 P.m. Start.

Yeah.

Josh has not been good in primetime this year. Also, the Chargers game is the Peacock exclusive game. Oh, the Cock exclusive saturday night.

Yeah. All right. Other side of this game, the Broncos. I don't know how it happened, but Russell Wilson looks better. I don't want to say all the way back, but he is playing winning football and making plays with his feet and making nice passes and not making the mistakes. I'm kind of rooting for him because ourselves included, all of the media, everyone has spent like a year and a half shitting on him. And what do we love to do as media and as Americans is we love to tear someone down and then be like, you know what? We're rooting for you to come back. Yeah. And that's what we're doing.

It's so fun to shit on Russell Wilson.

I know, but it's so fun, and.

I like doing it. But yeah, he looked good last night, and for the last couple of weeks he looked good. He beat Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen back to back. Pretty hard to do. And now, let's see, this would be a two game winning streak. For the Broncos when they're up at halftime. Before these last two games, the Broncos were owing ten in their last ten games where they had a halftime lead.

No. Three games. Three games in a row. It's three games in a row. Three games in a row. They've done it.

So it was against the Chiefs and then who else?

Packers. The packers.

They had a halftime lead three games in a row after going owing ten with leads at halftime. It does feel like they might have found something, turned something around. Russell, to your point, like, when he's making plays with his feet, he's a completely different player. I think for the last four or five years, russell got into the mindset of, oh, I'm too valuable to this team. I don't need to use my feet as much. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to take hits, which yeah, there's a time and a place for that to be a little bit more conservative and to get rid of the ball and to not want to run and and avoid some of the linebackers taking clean shots at you. But it also makes you a worse quarterback when you are good with your feet and you don't use them at all.

Yeah.

And so he was doing that. He was taking hits downfield. He was scrambling. He was avoiding line, but he looked good. Russell Wilson actually looked good last night.

Yeah, he's looked good for the majority of this season. It's funny because I feel like Sean Payton nagged him into being like all the talk has been, sean Payton has already moved on from Russell Wilson. He didn't pick Russell Wilson. They're going to draft the future of the franchise. Sean Payton is going to be here long after Russell Wilson is gone. And now I feel like having that in your relationship where Sean Payton's like, I don't really care about you. Like, you stink at football. Russell Williams like, no, I don't. I'm still good.

He fixed him by neutering him yeah.

Which is and just by ignoring the dogs.

Yeah. He took away his balls and said, I'm the big sack in town. I could care less whether you're here or you're not. And then you have to prove to me that you're going to be the quarterback. You're not allowed to bring your own trainer into the locker room.

Yes. You're not allowed to have an office that no one else can go into.

Hank, do you have an office?

No. Insi has one. Here the last thing I had about the Broncos. Patrick Sir Tan is awesome. He completely shut down Stefan Diggs when he was up against him. Credit to the Broncos, because I know there was going to be a fire sale. I'm a big believer. If you have really good players, you should try to keep them. And he's a really good player, and he's young and try to keep him and also mims is electric as a punt returner. That was a part of the field position is he had a couple that flipped the field for the Broncos.

That was pretty much he had he had some nice returns. And we would be talking about this game completely differently if they had missed that first field goal and it stood.

We still would be oh, no, I.

Would still would be saying that there's bad things about the Bills. Would we give Russ Wilson and the Broncos as much credit if that kick goes in? Probably not as much. But it's so funny how one small outcome like that can determine being optimistic about the Broncos future. Because I think if you're a Broncos fan, you watch this game, and this is a game that you lose every single time for the last two years, and you somehow figure out a way to win it. You're feeling good. You're feeling really good about yourself this morning. But things it was a very fine line between winning and losing. Now, granted, the Bills are definitely broken. Even if they had lost that game yes. Or even if they had won that game, they're definitely yes.

No, they're they're completely it's it's a tobacco right now for Buffalo. And again, they have the gauntlet coming up. I do think that the I mean, look, I guess they could find a way back into the playoff. Don't I'm not going to say they're going to make the playoffs.

They're in the hunt.

They've at least found a way forward. If Russell Wilson is going to be on the roster next year, I know his contract. There's weird shit where they have to cut him at a certain point, but he's playing to a level where it's like, maybe we can figure out a way to use our assets, our picks for something else besides a quarterback.

Yeah, I'm going to defer to Florio.

On the contract stuff.

He's always like right on top of that. That's the one thing that Mike Florio is great at. He can identify a loophole on when you can get rid of a quarterback. You remember he had Derek Carr before anybody else did. So Florio do some work on that. When could the Broncos potentially move on from Russell Wilson?

Yes. Okay, let's do some college football talk. We got a lot of college football to get to. Is there anything else in the NFL that we missed?

I was going to say, weirdly enough, Sunday Night Football this week is between the two hottest teams in the league broncos, Vikings. Who would have thought a few weeks ago, I would have called flex of the year on that. Now it's actually going to be a.

Good game of the year. What is your flex of the year?

I'm still looking into to it.

Do you get more excited about the schedule than the actual games?

I think so, yeah. It's like looking ahead.

It's crazy. Yeah, I think that actually is the truth, where you're like, look at this schedule. It's like you're like a little kid who you give them a piece of candy and they don't want to eat it because they like to just have the piece of candy. Yeah. I don't want to watch the football. I just want to know that the.

Football well, I like watching it, too, but I also get excited.

Schedule is way. Yeah.

Jake, can you predict what the highest rated game this year will be from now until the end of the season? Starting now? Yeah, starting now. I can look into I care about ratings. That's how I judge whether or not a game is good or not.

Yeah. Okay. Before we get to college football, game time, we got two weeks left in the regular season of the college football season. So game time will get you into all the games you're thinking about going to. Now is the time you shouldn't have to worry when you're buying tickets to your next big event. Game time is fast and easy way to buy tickets to all sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. We're actually going to Ohio State, Michigan. We'll be using game time if anyone in our crew is going to be going into the game. Game Time has all of the deals last minute tickets, flash deals, zone deals, easy to find and buy tickets for every kind of event in your area. Game Time has deals on tickets right up to the start of the event and even an hour after it starts. It's the place to find last minute seats. Find exclusive flash deals and sponsored deals on tickets for football, basketball, baseball, concerts, comedy, theater, and more. With zone deals, you pick the section and Game Time picks the seats for an average of 18% savings. And the Game time guarantee means you'll always get the best price.

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So it was Friday.

It was Friday. He found out via social media. So did Ward Manuel, who is the ad for Michigan. Jim Harbaugh suspended, didn't coach the game on Saturday. Against Penn State. And Jim Harbaugh went in front of the media yesterday and gave the most Jim Harbaugh quotes of all time. So he first started by saying, Michigan is America's team. He said, It's got to be America's team. America loves a team that beats the ODS, beats the adversity, overcomes what the naysayers and the critics, the so called experts think.

Well, yeah, they do rely on a network of clandestine surveillance to accomplish everything. I can see why that would align with the USA.

The adversity is my favorite part of this because it feels like the adversity was created by Michigan.

Cut their own leg off.

Yeah.

Look at me. Just gutting this out on one leg.

Cut your own leg and be like, I can barely walk. This is crazy.

Yeah. I first of all was shocked to see Jim Harbaugh in front of the media at all because I thought that he died. Yes, I thought he was dead. Because after the game, when Sharad Brown gave his speech I fucking love you, man. I fucking love you, man.

This is for you, Jim. For you, Coach. I said it was basically the speech that everyone, when they're on a bachelor party and they see their college friends or old friends that they haven't seen in a very long time, like twelve beers deep, sitting around being like, I fucking love you, man. I fucking love you so much. We should get a house together. That was what he did.

After that game, I honestly thought he was dead. It looked like Riggs leaving Pinehurst. It was surreal. It was one of those moments where it's like, this is definitely not a cult. Yeah, definitely not a cult. Now, I love Harbaugh because he does give quotes like this, and he puts himself in the most ridiculous scenarios and he's the ultimate football guy.

Yeah. So the other quote, the biggest one was he had a raspy voice and he said, I'm the iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter. Something's going on there, but I'll get it worked out, work it out of my system, do some more push ups, eat an apple. I'm an iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter. Jim Harbaugh is Dwight Schrute.

I am a vaccine.

He is incredible. Like the virus show. Show me a virus. I will shatter it with my iron wall.

I'm going to work out. I'm going to do so many pushups that the virus is not going to be able to keep up. And you know what? Jim Harbaugh actually thinks that he can make a virus tap.

Yeah, absolutely.

Submits them.

Absolutely.

I actually thought that the most surprising quote of the press conference was when he was talking about the chickens. Because we all know that Harbaugh in the past says that he doesn't eat chicken because chicken is a nervous little bird that gives off nervous energy. In fact, I was actually talking to a Michigan. Player yesterday. He said the very first day that Harbaugh got to school there, he was inspecting the buffet line in the cafeteria for the team. And he walked up to the chicken because there were chicken cutlets, and he just stared at it and started scratching his head. And he pulled the nutritionist over and said, hey, what's the deal with the chicken here? They're like, well, it's got a lot of protein. It's lean. It's good for players after workouts. And Harbaugh was like, I want you to do a study for me. I want you to investigate because it's a nervous bird. I want you to look to see if there's been any rise in mental illness in the United States and the consumption of chicken. I want to see if there's a correlation between the two. So he's been anti chicken for a long time, eating steak, drinking milk, that whole thing, and then he's done a complete 180.

In a stunning turn of events, harbaugh actually owns chickens now, and he praised them for being low maintenance, high production, and he said, yeah. So he's now like a believer in chickens.

Yeah, he said they lay an egg every 26, 27 hours. They need water, they need food. I play with them too. I let them out in the yard, run around. They're happy to see me. He basically was like, oh, these chickens produce something I can win with.

This roosters are the first ones in the facility every single morning. They don't read the press clippings. They take a shit on them chickens. He said, there was a time I said chicken was a nervous bird. I was dead wrong.

Yeah.

If I can change and you can change, then we all can do what.

A beautiful I listen, I know there's a lot of college football fans that hate Michigan at this moment. I get it. I think Michigan clearly did something wrong. I think they should know suspended or whatever happens in the future, I'm down with I love Jim Harbaugh. I will always love Jim Harbaugh. I will always ride with Jim Harbaugh. He is the funniest guy basically ever in college coaching, and he's a great coach. I love him, and I do think there's a difference. So I thought the Big Ten was wrong for what they did, because I don't know how you do an investigation that quickly and then be like, all right, three games, here we go. If you think that Michigan did something wrong, I'm going to most likely agree with you because it seems like there's a lot of smoking guns everywhere, due process still does matter, and just like throwing something at the wall and being like, hopefully everyone will be fine with three games. Which doesn't even really mean anything because he can coach during the week. It was such a half measure, half ass thing by the Big Ten that it leaves me no other conclusion than the Big Ten has no idea what they're doing, and they're just trying to save face.

The funny thing is, if you're a fan of Ohio State or another Big Ten school, I completely agree with being.

So mad at Michigan. Yes.

And you want Michigan, like, kicked out of college football. You want the death penalty for Michigan. I would, too, if I went to one of those schools. But if you're detached from it and you can look at it from just an objectively ridiculous point of view, it's a very funny scandal that's happening. Jim Marball is the perfect person to be having to address this and to deal with the adversity that he inflicted upon himself. This is good for college football because it's hilarious. From my point of view, it's the funniest thing that's ever happened. But again, if you're an Ohio State fan, you should want Jim Harbaugh, like, put on the nearest train and then taken directly to Chicago to go coach the Bears.

Yes.

And you should want that, too. Big. Yeah, this is it's funny. But I would also caution, like, if you're a fan of a serious college football team, if you love Ohio State, if you love Alabama, Georgia, any powerhouse school, USC, you name it, Texas, you should be very worried that due process is not existing. Because I got news for you, you're cheating your dick off, too. You might not be doing it as egregiously as what Michigan is doing, and you're probably not going into military grade. Sophistication with your surveillance of other teams, but every single school, if they're good, is cheating big time. And you don't want this to be the precedent for when you get caught. Because if you're a Michigan fan, this happens across college football. It happens across all college sports. A little bit in pros, but mostly at the college ranks. We saw it last year with Alabama and their basketball team. If your team is the one that's being investigated, you turn into a legal scholar so fast.

You do so much reading.

You learn all the laws about transferral of handgun possession. You learn everything that you have to know about, like, okay, here's the NCAA bylaws that they're going to use to persecute us with, and here's how this does not meet X, Y, and Z criteria. And then everybody else in the country learns the top line. It's like, you're a bunch of cheating fucks. You should be suspended immediately.

And then you just reply in Twitter's all day being like, actually, this is exactly what happened. The only thing I'll push back on you for is Alabama and Georgia should not be worried because the one thing that you should always give credit to the SEC is they do things correctly in the fact that they never punish or hurt their best teams.

They're experts at looking the other way.

Greg Senke would never do this. He would never do this. A team that is on the precipice of going to the College Football Playoff. That is, like, the talk of the nation. He would never be like, hey, let's cut our own legs here and try to hurt our own conference. That's the difference in the SEC and big ten. We got Tony Patiti a fucking moron. Like, dude, just figure out the fact that maybe we could win a national title for the first time in whatever it's been, like, eight, nine years and get the fuck out of the way. And just say the NCAA has to deal with it. That's what SEC does. And they win national titles.

Tony Petiti needs to pretend that he's the cop from the town. When the nuns pull up after the bank robbery, just look the other way. Yeah, I didn't see nothing.

Just be like, look, Michigan, it's not fair. Life is not fair. Here's a little lesson for everyone out there. Life is not fair. If you're Tony Petiti, this is different. If it was Rutgers, if it was Purdue, if it was Wisconsin, yes. That's different than, like, life is not fair. It sucks that I have to admit this, but Michigan and Ohio State are different than the rest of the Big Ten. And you need to treat them like they are different than the rest of the Big Ten. Because if the goal is to get as many bowl games and more money for college football playoffs and these big TV deals, you have to prop up your big time breadwinners when it comes to college football.

I think I misspoke on his name. I think it's Sharon Brown or Sharon Moore. I said brown earlier.

That's fine.

Moore is the interim coach of Michigan.

He probably's happy he did that, because he's like, listen, that was an emotional thing. He definitely the next day was like, whoops. Yeah, I went a little too hard.

Maybe not, though, because maybe I bet you they had the longest hug ever when he went back to the hotel.

Oh, yeah. Harbaugh said, I'd die for that guy.

Yeah, exactly. They'd both die for each other, which is beautiful. But Sharon Moore, he's coaching on Saturdays. Harbaugh still gets to coach the team during the week.

Well, Harbaugh is also coaching the game on the team on Saturdays because going back to the game, 28 runs in the second half, no passes. I know. There was one pass that was a pi. That was harbaugh like JJ. McCarthy, what do you finish? Seven for eight. Yeah.

And it's shocking because he's a good quarterback, too.

Yeah.

And they were just like, you know what? Fuck it. We're going to run the ball down Penn State's throat the entire time. And, yeah, it did feel like Harbaugh, like he was sending a smoke signal to Harbaugh, like, this is for you, Coach. I got your back. And I don't know what the rules are, how close Harbaugh is allowed to be to the stadium. I know he can't be on the sidelines.

He said he was five inches away from the TV when Sharon Moore was giving that speech.

He was probably speaking like during the game.

He probably was trying to kiss the TV.

If I was Michigan's Ad, here's what I would do during the games. I would give Harbaugh a headset and I would say, okay, it's a headset. They can hear everything that you say, but they can't talk back to you and just put it on them and have Harbaugh he would totally believe that he's still coaching the game.

Yeah. He even said when he was like, people are like, how are you dealing with all this stuff? He's like, I just dive into work, which is football. Yeah, you just want to coach football. Max was at the game. He said it was the worst sporting event he's ever been to.

I mean, did you watch?

It was horrible. Yeah. James Franklin is I would assume all Penn State fans are now feeling like he has to go. I know he wins. He's won eleven games, I think four or five times, but he's never going to win the big one.

He's not going anywhere. From what I've been told by other Penn State people that know more about me, is that the way his contract is set up, is that there's no way that you can get rid of him. Yeah, but we talked about this a couple of weeks ago. If it was still going to be a four team playoff for the next like 1020 years, then you're looking at this and you're like, yeah, Franklin, he's not going to get us to that next level. He's got to go. You guys will be in the playoff. Yeah, but then it's just going to be the same thing.

Yeah.

No, you'll get to the twelve team playoff and then you'll just see what happens against Ohio State and Michigan. They're the jets. I was saying this in memes penn State.

They're not the jets. Yes, they are. No, they aren't. They win eleven games. Yeah, but not well, I'm saying this.

Year the defense is really good and you have a quarterback who's hyped up and thought that he was going to be the difference maker in the program and then the quarterback just isn't good enough and the offense is not good enough. Say what you want about the jets, but at least they were smart enough not to play Christian Hackenberg. That's different.

Well, no, it's the same since they played him. But college NFL Penn State is a classic case. And we're going to talk about Jimbo in a second of a program having to come to grips with what they might be versus what the fans expect. Because if you asked 90% of college football fans, would you like eleven wins a year and to be in like a New Year's Day bowl? They'd be like, fuck yes, I would. Penn State is one of those college programs that they have a history of national titles, they have a history of great success. And the bar is so high that James Franklin, he can win eleven games all he wants. If he can't beat Michigan, Ohio State, that's not enough.

But they still recruit like those guys I know. So that's the difference is that they bring in the guys that should get you to that next step. But Franklin just can't coach that big game. He plays so soft. He coaches so soft.

Every rock for brains it is runs up the middle.

Runs up the middle, hope for a slant and then punt on fourth and one.

Punt. Just punts so many punted so many times.

And at the end of the day, I was like, all right, this is Penn State football. I don't get upset about Penn State football like I do other sports, but it's still frustrating to see the same thing over and over again. What are their rankings in terms of recruiting? Are they up there? They're up there Ohio State. But I feel like they're outside. They're in that. Like if I were to just throw a dart and say what I think Penn State's recruiting is like, I would say that they're probably 7th through 10th somewhere national.

The way the rankings have gone in the last few years is essentially there's Ohio State, there's Georgia, and there's Alabama, and then those three teams have dudes that are on a different level. And then the Michigan's, the LSU's, the Florida states, the Penn states. They're right there. But there's still that gap between like, oh my God, right, but three teams.

But that tier two is still competing.

For playoff spots sometimes.

Like, Penn State is never competing for that playoff spot one time. Well, that's because right now against Ohio State, they had the yeah, right now.

Here'S the difference right now. If you look at 2024 and, I don't know, obviously signing day and all this stuff, everything can change. Georgia and Ohio State. Georgia has four, five stars, ohio State has five, penn State has zero. That's the difference is like, you can get a lot of four stars, but can you get the five or six or seven five stars every single recruiting class that those become the true difference makers when you play on Saturday? Yeah.

So if you have a team of four stars, you can beat the shit out of bad teams because you can run the ball. You can run the ball, you can run the ball. And then you can rely on like a decent passing game. If you have five stars at running back or at wide receiver, then that's when you can compete with that next level. And Penn State doesn't have but there's a tier two. There's tier one that is in the college football every year.

You know what mean?

Like, no matter what, they're in it every year there's a tier two that every couple of years they're going to make it into the four seed, probably get smoked. But they're like playing for a college football playoff every so years. Penn State is in that third tier when they should be in that second tier.

Yeah. And look, it also comes down to what you do with your five stars. Because that's the biggest thing is you have to like, look, I'm looking right now at a random year 2021, right? 2021. Penn State had zero five stars. Alabama had seven. Ohio State had seven. Georgia had four. That's the difference. Those elite guys, those are the top three in terms of five star recruits in 2021, having those elite guys and then doing something with them, like actually making them great.

What I'm hearing, Max, is that you need to spend more time tweeting at high school players that are being recruited by Penn State, being like, hey, I can't put that much passion into Penn State football.

The other thing is and Clemson was obviously in that tier. They've taken a step back, but they were in that like, they got the five stars.

Feel like Texas is getting up there too.

Well, the funny thing is, because we're going to talk about jimbo is looking at that 2022 class when he had eight, five stars. And it was the greatest college football recruiting class of all time. And Jimbo Fisher has now been fired. His buyout is comical. He's owed $19 million in the next 60 days, another $7 million in the next 120 days, and then $7 million every year from 2025 to 2031.

It's so good. So he gets almost 27 million in the next, like, 90 days of his life. And then it's not offset. That's the crazy thing. A lot of times, coaches salaries, they get offset. If you get a new job, then the money that you make at the new job counts towards what you're getting paid in your buyout. And you have to prove that you're looking for a new job in order to get that money. Jimbo is just going to get all this money. And we put a price target on the cost per barrel of oil a couple of months ago at, I think, $90 per barrel. It got to 90. I think it got to like $93. And then it dipped back down again. But that's when Texas A and M alum have real fuck you money gets. Once the oil prices get that high, it got so bad that they were like, you know what? We're just going to say fuck it, and get rid Jimbo because we're going to have to go out, get a new coach, and we're going to have to fund that buyout too, and pay Jimbo Fisher. But it's not worth it having a team that's barely above 500 every year.

And the picture that's so funny is the Texas A and M donor giving like $160,000,000 at halftime of the Texas A and M Mississippi State game that was literally just like, here's his buyout.

That was the twelveTH Man Foundation. That was like, giving their annual donation. It was just specifically a check to get rid of Jimbo Fisher and, oh my God, you pay me that much money to fuck off, and I am going to fuck off so hard you will never see my face again. I would leave the country immediately. I would buy an island.

I don't know what Texas A M does now, because I think that might be the worst job in college football. And I know that people are like, what the fuck are you talking about? You get paid so much money. The expectations are so crazy. And like, Jimbo Fisher couldn't he had the recruiting classes. The COVID year is weird. He won ten games. He even beat Alabama in 2021, and it's still not enough. I don't know who would want to take that job. If it's anything besides just a money.

Play, which, yeah, I would hand up.

I understand take that job, but you have to take that job knowing you're going to get paid a lot of money and you're probably going to fail because the bar that they want to be at is so disconnected from where they are. Yeah.

Well, Big Cat, you forget Texas A and M has a history of winning.

National championships and winning ten games. Eight. That's right. They've won ten games, I think twice in the last 20 years.

Oh, and wait, the national championship that they won, I think, was 1937.

The most recent one, the one name that they're looking for is Oregon. Dan Lanning, who came out and said that this was his quote, I think I've been really clear here since day one. I'm not going anywhere. There's zero chance I'd be coaching somewhere else. I've got unfinished business here. Oregon fans rightfully were like, this is awesome. Happy said it. That doesn't mean shit.

I don't think he's going to take it.

He very well could not take it. Yeah. We know, though, that college football coaches will say whatever they want to say in the moment and then take it later.

Yeah, just coaches in general.

Right.

People in general, in fact, will say that until you put a big check in front, they're like, yeah, I'll do that.

Nick Saban said, I will not be the coach of Alabama Crimson Tide. Yeah, like two weeks before he went and was the coach of the Alabama Crimson. Yeah.

Bobby Petrino said he wasn't going to leave the Falcons, and then he wrote a note on a napkin and left it in the locker room.

Yeah. Oxygen Burris said he actually had a good tweet, because I can't remember what the context was. It was something about players thinking about nil, and it's a distraction, I think, maybe. Saban says a distraction. He's like, he literally sat in front of the michigan State team and was like, I'm not going anywhere. And then was at LSU two weeks. Kelly didn't brian Kelly didn't even go to the Senior Dinner at Cincinnati because he's like, Fuck that, I'm out. Yeah. Like, coaches will do whatever. It's great that Dan landing said it. I like Dan landing a lot. I'm rooting for Dan Landing. I hope he stays because it's better for college football if he does and guys don't keep jumping around. But I would never, ever take a quote from a coach and be like, Yep, good. We're good. Yeah, it's over.

I would. If I was A-M-I would look at Elko. They're probably looking at him, right?

Be I would be shocked. Belichick.

Belichick. Why not? Well, they do have a history bringing professional coaches down to the college level. I think Sherman did that right.

Why not? Urban Meyer.

Urban Meyer at he's a freak. It would actually be perfect if he was at A M, because it is, again, a cult.

Yeah. It's just freaks of different nature.

Urban Meyer is the perfect cult leader.

Yeah.

I mean, he sucked as an NFL head coach, but as a college head coach, where he is like the warlord cult leader at whatever town he's in, then he's really good at that. And there's no more insulated place in the world than College Station, Texas.

It would be fun.

It would be very fun if he went get him back in the SEC. That would be great.

Yeah.

They probably are delusional enough to think that they can try to get Saban. They'll probably just make a phone call to Saban, be like, hey, are you interested?

No?

Okay.

Sorry for bothering you. Kansas head Coach Lance Lipold. Lance Liebold. They'll probably talk to him.

The only problem with him, which is not fair, because he's won literally everywhere he's gone, UW, whitewater Buffalo. Now Kansas is he's a little older. So that's like the only thing that people always like, well, he's old. Who cares? He wins games.

Yeah. I also heard a rumor about Dan Campbell. Texas A M alum.

Oh, no. You could never leave.

I don't think he's going to leave.

Would although there's definitely a group of Lions fans who are listening to this right now, and it might not be a large group, but I bet you there's a group that are like, that'd be cool, because then Ben Johnson would be the coach, and they don't want to lose Ben Johnson. Yeah. I guarantee you there's some people who are thinking that in their head. They're like, because when you get that offensive coordinator wiz kid, and it's like, well, we're going to lose him eventually. It's not a large amount. Maybe Lions fans, you can circle a trust. You can Tweet me and say you've thought this, and it's not the worst thought. You can tweet me that. I hope Dan Campbell stays at Detroit. He's perfect for Detroit, but I guarantee you there's some Lions fans in the back of their head, they're like, OOH, that would kind of work out.

I actually think that's not a thought that you've had already, but it's a great spin zone to keep in your back pocket in case you do lose Dan Campbell. There's a couple of it's a perfect way to work it out and say, okay, well, at least we didn't lose Ben.

Yeah, ben is now our coach.

I think 99% alliance fans love Dan Campbell.

There's just circle of trust. I will not judge you if you treat me this. I will not judge you. All right, last couple of things. Jaden Daniels should be the heisman. We talked about it quickly on Monday. I have some stats for you. PFT. Jaden Daniels versus Florida had 372 passing yards, 234 rushing.

That's been done a lot.

Hasn't five total touchdowns. First player in FBS history to have 350 plus passing yards and 200 plus rushing yards in a single game.

Was that his Heisman moment? Listen, I want to hear what the Heisman moments are for his competition.

We also need to be like he is Lamar Jackson. When Lamar Jackson won the Heisman with three losses, yeah, that's what he is.

Except his stats might be better. So we can look his main competition. I would say bo nix. Michael Pennix.

Right.

And then Marvin Harrison, obviously, if you're going to go with the most talented player, marvin Harrison, probably in terms of pure talent, maybe better.

And then a small sect of Michigan fans who are like, well, JJ. McCarthy is going to be like 45 for 50 against Ohio State for 375,000 yards.

Yeah, you could do that. But if you look at passing yards, jaden Daniels has 3164 yards, bo Nicks has 3135 yards, michael Pennix has 3533. All pretty close together, very, very similar in terms of stats. And then you go to rushing yards.

Yeah.

Jaden Daniels has 918 rushing yards. He's going to have 1000 rushing yards this year. Bo nicks 121. Michael Pennicks, negative 27. Jane Daniels has more touchdowns, more rushing touchdowns than the rest of them. And his completion percentage is not quite as good as Bo Nicks, but it's better than Michael Pennick.

So he also here's some more stats. We're just going to give you guys all the things you need to go out and tell everyone. Jaden Daniels is averaging 408 total yards per game. Second place is 350. That's a pretty big difference. Most plays of 20 plus yards in 2023, jaden Daniels has 76, michael Pennix has 57 and Bonix has 39. 76 plays of 20 plus yards. Here's. Quick. Power conference ranks by stat. Jaden Daniels, total yards a game, first total TDs a game, first pass yards a game, second pass TDs a game, first rush yards a game, first rush TDs a game, 6th QBR, first passer rating, first yards of play, first EPA play, first I feel like I'm spitting bars here. He's leading everything.

So I found another interesting stat on Death Valley Insider, and they compared Joe Burrows 2019 with Jaden Daniels projected 2023 in a twelve game regular season. So here's what they're projecting to, obviously, Joe Burrow, more passing yards, 4366. Jaden Daniels on pace for 3797. But if you look at total yards, joe had 4614. Jaden Daniels on pace for 4809, and Joe had 47 total touchdowns. Jaden Daniels would have 46 total touchdowns on pace.

Come on now. He's not as good. He doesn't play defense, not as good as Joe Burrow.

But if you want to just look at purely from a statistical point of view, jane Daniels is really, really fucking good. And his defense is one of the worst.

He's the best player in college football this year. And that's what the award should be. It shouldn't be a team award. And we're completely unbiased in all of these takes.

Yeah, it's not like we're only saying this because we put a future on him to win the Heisman Trophy.

I do like that there were some people being like, do you have a future on him? Or something like, yeah, we literally said it. We put it in live, on air, on show.

I'm just kicking myself. I didn't get it at 900.

That's okay.

Let's just stay 500. 500 is good.

Stay the course. And Jaden Daniels should be your heisman. Take these stats and spread them from sea to shining sea.

Jane Daniels. Heisman moment. He has a heisman moment. I don't know what the other guys are. That's what I go off of. Yeah, it's just who has the greater one replay that you watch over and over again.

All right, last thing, quickly, James Madison, I told you I would give you I'm splitting my time now because my football team is garbage. I am splitting my time between Jaden Daniels for Heisman and JMU for a bowl game.

Get JMU into a bowl game, let the kids play. And you know what? And Jacksonville State, I'm going to say let Jacksonville State play in a bowl game, too. Okay, so it is a possibility. It's actually, I'd say, about 50% chance that JMU gets to play in a bowl game even though they're not eligible.

Is this biased?

No possibility. Or if I was being biased, I would say, like, they're probably going to play in a bowl.

Okay.

It's about 50 50. So they are ineligible to play in the postseason. However, if there are not enough bowl eligible teams in college football this season, then they will allow teams that are not eligible due to technicalities to play.

Got it.

So that's a real thing. I don't know if that would put them in a new Year's Six or not. And again, I'm speaking hypothetically. If they do happen to win out, they got game day this weekend, which is awesome, in Harrisonburg against App State. And then they have. Coastal in the last game, which are going to be two tough games. But assuming if they happen to win both those games, then there are a number of ways that they could get into a bowl.

So who are we rooting against?

So we're rooting against a lot of different teams. I can give you the entire list of teams that I'm rooting against.

Rip them off.

So shout out to NIT Stu, who actually compiled all this for us. FIU, Buffalo, wake forest, colorado, washington state, hawaii, houston, FAU, cal, TCU, mississippi state, old dominion, south carolina, eastern michigan, northern illinois, navy, rice, Western Michigan, colorado state. And then we've got a bunch of others that were rooting to lose two games, including, unfortunately, your Wisconsin badgers, which might happen. Might not.

No, they're bad. So it could very well happen. Although I kind of think that they're going to beat Nebraska because Luke Fickle said we're going to find out who wants to be here. Yep. That's always the sign of things. Might start to turn around because they're going to have a little like, you don't want to be here, bro.

So we just don't want teams to reach six wins and if not enough teams reach six.

And you can also be bowl eligible at five and six, I believe.

I don't know how all that works.

I think they changed it a couple of years ago.

So there's 40 teams that are in the hunt. JMU. Needs eight or more of those to come up short.

Got it.

So I think it's a good possibility.

Okay. All right. 50 50. All right. We're rooting against those teams. I'm in. I'm rooting against those teams. So everyone has their marching orders. It's to recap. Jim Harbaugh, funniest guy in the world. JMU. Needs to be in a bowl game. Jaden Daniels. Heisman. Yep. That feels good.

I like where we're at. These are all fun things to embrace.

Yes. Okay. Now let's get to a not fun thing for Hank. It's hot sea. Cool throne. It's brought to you by our friends at coors light. Fall doesn't have to be a Buzkill. Coors light helps you find moments to unwind. Big work presentation. Follow it with a happy hour. Some friends in a cold core's light weekend chores. Take Saturday off and hit the tailgate. Even if you don't have tickets to the game, that actually is a great tip. There's nothing better than tailgating. Whenever you maybe get, like, a good TV in the back of a truck, that's just as good as going to the game. Whenever you need to hit reset, reach for a Coors light. It's made to chill. There's only one beer out there that's literally made to chill, and that's Coors light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. That way you always know when it's time to chill. When you need to hit reset, just open a coors light. It's mountain cold refreshment made to chill coors Light is the one I choose when need to unwind so you want to hit the reset reach for the beer that's made to chill?

Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with drizzly or instacart by going to slash take celebrate Responsibly coors Brewing Company Golden, Colorado coors Light the most delicious beer in the world. Our favorite beer mountains on the cans and bottles turn blue hank hot Seat cool Throne.

My hot seat is bally sports.

Southwest.

No, it's you. It's you. It's you.

My cool throne is me.

No, your hot seat is you.

Why's your cool throne?

You do you decide, who am I? Hot seat cool.

Well, I think the listeners decided because it took you this long to come up with this.

All right, fine. I will ignore that, I guess, if you want to get right into the presentation.

Yeah, let's do it, guys.

You guys are absolute divas. Hank through there's a hundred cameras in here. Hank I take pictures, you guys all the time. And I take my phone out. You oh, it took me five minutes before I get pissed off at hank, do you get pissed off at this camera? Do you get pissed off at this.

Difference between these cameras and being like, what's the show?

Well, Hank, you came into this room at the very start of the show before we even started taping. You shot me a look. You're giving looks today.

You're given looks.

No, you came in and go, did.

You do the presentation?

It was a question. It was a valid question, especially considering the events of last Tuesday.

Here's what Hank did. He tried everything to not do this presentation. He told me he had a call right as the show started. Me on the call, fake company. Then he came in and he unplugged everything with the TV so that Max and memes had to hustle, trying to get everything set. He was like, oh, the presentation doesn't work. The presentation doesn't work. It works. We're ready to go. Let's go. Let's see this presentation. Bucko all right.

Well, I did a lot of thinking the past couple weeks.

You like that? I've ever heard you buckle him before.

When you buckle a guy, that's so much worse than do it.

Bucko the assignment at hand are you guys going to let me speak for this one? Are you just going to interrupt me every 2 seconds?

No, please, go ahead, sport.

The assignment at hand was to do a presentation about how the Gillette lighthouse was not real, which I think part of the reason why I struggled to get it done was because I had already admitted that the lighthouse was not real. And we had spent a lot of time going through reasons for what makes a real lighthouse and what makes a fake light.

Yeah, because you keep bringing it up.

No, you guys kept bringing it up. And my point being that I didn't know how to do a presentation where explaining why the lighthouse wasn't real when we've already gone over that and I've already admitted that it wasn't real. So I decided to think bigger and go into what reality and what's real and what's fake really means. So without further ado, did you get meta with it?

You got metaphysical.

Let's begin.

Wait, Hank, right off the bat, I have one gripe about the opening slide of this.

Okay.

What does the date say on that presentation?

That was just the day I started it. Henry John Lockwood. Eleven five, 2023.

And today is what, the 14th. That should say the 14th.

Well, I can't help when I start. Like, I've been working on this for a while.

You always date your PowerPoint presentations when you make them.

Okay.

Also, Gillette is spelled incorrect.

Good point.

Wait, Jake, are you.

Great point.

Cut his mic. Not joking.

Which lighthouse are you talking about here, Hank?

The Gillette lighthouse.

Oh, because that's a different lighthouse with one T.

Okay, so the date's wrong.

Date's correct.

Okay.

All right. Well, this I mean, Max's formatics fucked up. He's literally lying on the ground right now, flopping around, didn't even give me the presentation the way I sent it. This is supposed to be a lot clear. I don't know why it's see through, but what does real and fake actually mean? Real, the definition is actually existing as a thing or occurring, in fact, not imagined or supposed. Fake means not genuine or counterfeit.

Counterfeit is an interesting word.

With that being said, I would like to now open it up the floor to you guys. I have some examples, and you tell me what's real and what's fake.

Okay?

You're opening up the floor for questions?

No, I'm opening up the floor for you guys.

We're not allowed to talk. Well, you've interrupted me 100.

What do you think opening up the floor means?

It means you guys can give me you have two words.

I don't think you know what opening up the floor means.

I'm going to show you pictures. No other commentary, just real or fake. All right, I'll play next slide. That is Jesus Christ.

I think he was a real person.

He existed.

He existed.

So, real or fake?

He existed.

He existed.

Real.

All right, next slide.

He didn't look like that, though.

That's not a good representation of Jesus. No.

So you're saying that there's some debate.

On whether it's no, I'm saying that picture right there as a person is.

Not a likeness of what jesus.

Do you have a picture of what he looks like?

Yeah, they tried to get a would.

You call it a rendering?

You remember that painting?

He was a real person who existed.

Do you have proof?

Yes, there's historical record of Council of Nicaean. Okay.

I just don't know how you can say that's not a real picture of him.

If you don't have a real picture, what's a drawing?

But whatever. Okay, go on. It's clearly a drawing. They didn't have pictures back then, idiot.

The moon landing real.

Real.

How is there wind on the flag?

It's not wind on the flag. They put wires in the flag to make it stand out.

That's actually a fact. You can see the wires.

Next picture. This pair of chests.

I'm very bad at this pair of chests. I'm going to say real.

Heck, there's only one chest. There real.

Yeah.

I'm also bad at it. I've been berated several times for not correctly identifying fake boobs. I'm going to say those are they look real. I think they're fake. I think those are fake.

Next slide. These Christmas trees.

Let me take a look. Fake on the right. They're all fake.

Fake. Fake. Fake. The big bang real.

I didn't ask you to go to next slide, but go ahead.

Real.

Yeah, it's real.

We do an evolution now.

I'm just asking questions. I opened the floor for you guys.

I wanted some is there a point to all your hank doesn't know whether these are real or fake. He's like, this is a perfect chance for me to ask some questions that I feel too stupid to ask. Is the big bang real? You guys tell me. I know, obviously, but you tell me.

But there's no proof of the big bang being real.

There is a lot of proof. There's a shitload of proof.

Look at Neil degrasse Tyson's timeline right now. I'm sure he's tweeted about it nine times today.

You're talking about evolution. I believe in evolution. I do not believe that we all just sprouted out of nowhere and a dude gave a girl his rib and was like, Here, now you're a girl.

Some would argue that we're living in a simulation. Someone argue that the bing bing is real. Someone argue that those boobs are real. Those boobs are fake.

Are you questioning just like and you.

Got to question everything. That was kind of the are we.

Doing flat Earth next kyrie.

The hypothesis that I went through is like yes, technically, by definition, some would say that this lighthouse is not real, but there's some that would say that it is real.

I want to give Hank credit, because Hank actually this is a genius argument that you're making right now by taking the entire concept of what we think of as reality and questioning it. That's the only way out of actually, I think Hank is doing a good job.

Next slide, please. Iris Murdoch. You guys are familiar. Famously said, you tell me we live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is defined reality.

You could put any quote anywhere and just put a name under it, be like, here's this quote. Wait, what? Yeah. Oh, look. I'm looking up a quote right now. The Gillette lighthouse is completely fake, and anyone who thinks it's real is an idiot. Donald Trump.

Trump would never say that.

Absolutely. Hank.

What's your favorite Iris Murdoch novel?

Probably the Great Gatsby. Next slide. Now we go on to the we got that.

Never even read The Great Gatsby. You just know it's a book. You might like that's. Scott Fitzgerald.

Yeah.

Green light. Green light across the pond.

Lighthouse is subscribed to lighthouse.

Yeah, I did. So anyway, the question of what's real and what's fake can be questioned by anyone. Someone could say something's real, and someone could always have an argument that it's fake. Just because someone has proof that something's real doesn't mean that it necessarily is. And it's our job as humans to determine find what's an illusion and what's reality. That's our daily task is what is real and what is fake. Some things, they might be like some things like Jesus, maybe he wasn't real. Maybe those things weren't real. But he's a symbol.

He's a symbol of hope.

He's a symbol of what we're going for.

You're smart, what you've done. You've been like, there are a lot of idiots in this world, me being one of them.

Well, also, I think maybe Hank's been hanging out with somebody that has a history of questioning whether or not things are real, and that has rubbed off on him.

Oh.

Lighthouses in New England. Wait, go back, please. Can you respect my slides? The first lighthouse was built in North America was the Boston light. So it was built in Boston in Massachusetts. It's been a symbol of our state of our region for a long time. It's a beacon of hope, if you will.

Is that real?

Next slide.

Is that lighthouse real?

That lighthouse is real.

I don't know what oh, it is.

Okay.

All right. I want to set the ground rule so that lighthouse is real.

Got it.

It depends on who you ask. This is Sally Snowman. She was the last lighthouse keeper in America wood. So she is retiring at the end of 2023 and will not be replaced. So in 2024, being a lighthouse keeper as a job is not real?

No, it's still a real job. It's not anymore. Anywhere in the world.

In America. Okay, that's my world.

Does she still real? Job.

Sally Snowman, currently a lighthouse keeper.

I'm saying in 2024, right now, I.

Saw that you put the date at the start of your presentation. What was that again?

November 5.

Okay, so as of the date of.

Taking me a long time to come.

To these conclusions, as of the date.

Of this presentation, it's a real job.

Got it.

But in 2024, it will not be a real job. However, in 2023, it was a real job. So it kind of opens it up. It's like it is. Things can be real at some point, but fake in others. How does that work?

You can't say in 2023, it was. It is.

Next slide. The last major lighthouse built in America was in 1962. It was Sullivan's Lighthouse in South Carolina. That was until the Gillette lighthouse. In conclusion, it's our job as humans, as intellectuals, to sift through the nonsense and the illusions and determine what's real and what's fake and really just find those beacons of hope. Just because someone tells you Jesus wasn't real, it doesn't mean you can't use him as a symbol of hope. Just because PFT says this lighthouse isn't real, it doesn't mean it doesn't have to be real to you and as a region. So I think it's like, maybe it's not real to you guys.

It's like wrestling.

But Patriots fans, New Englanders, they will recognize this lighthouse as a real thing, as a beacon of hope, and as a symbol of our team in our region. So that was kind of what I came to. It was hard. Obviously, I had to say the lighthouse wasn't real. But in doing my research and coming to these conclusions, it's just not real to you.

That I think that's fair. I've gotten dumber.

I think Hank took the weirdest possible way to reach a reasonable conclusion, which is, if we believe in the lighthouse, then it's real.

Well, I didn't know what the task was. Like, make a presentation about how the lighthouse isn't real, but we know we've gone through that.

Right? So I didn't just say it's not real.

I did on the show right after they lost.

I mean, I like the presentation was good. You've confused everyone, which was smart. You did kind of like a, hey, look at my thumb. Gee, you're dumb. Slap him in the face. What is real? Is this real? Right.

Know? Some are saying know the big bang theory is really the big question. Some are saying that it was an Elon Musk TikTok and it was a comment in the TikTok. So not an Elon Musk quote. Some are saying that we are living in a simulation, and simulation is to determine how humans will deal with AI. And that's about to come to a head.

And that has to do with the lighthouse.

How?

Okay, the big bang theory. Did it happen or not?

We might not even be here.

Exactly.

Nothing is real.

Exactly.

Yeah. I mean, you did a good job of confusing everyone. That was actually very smart of you, Hank. I give it an A plus.

It was good. Well, you took the right route. Was just question everything.

Literally everything.

And so then nothing can be proven. What's that on the slide?

What is that slide? It's a zoomed in.

Sally Snowman. Memes and Max are loving it. It looked like rico.

I like Sally Snowman. I'm a Sally Snowman guy. Goat.

Sounds like a character in a children's book.

All right, Hank. Good job.

Thank you.

You feel good that that's done with?

Yeah, it was stressing me out.

Yeah, we know. How much of that slide did you do yourself? All of it. All of it.

The Boston Light. I had DMs from people, but I had to go the whole beginning. I think the only slide that I had some help with was the Boston Light.

I mean, it was a good presentation. You have us questioning everything. Nothing is real. Or is everything real?

That's on us.

Who's to say.

That'S the conclusion only a man who very upset with the state of their football team would reach? Yeah, well, none of this really even matters.

This is really yeah. When you zoom out, you're like, this is where the Patriots season is. We're doing a presentation of what's real and what's fake.

I mean, I've talked more about Lighthouses this year than the Patriots. That's probably a fact.

Yeah, that is a fact, because you.

Keep bringing it up.

Yeah, I'll never bring it up again. It's done. It's settled. We've gone through the exercise. It's up to you whether determine it's real or fake. I choose real. You choose fake. It's like religion still real to me.

Great job, Hank.

Thank you.

Great job. Was it a great job? Yeah. Everyone watch the YouTube. Subscribe to the YouTube. Hank's presentation, what is real but if.

It was good or not is entirely subjective. We don't know.

That's true.

We don't know anything.

Good point. If we learned anything we don't know, that's really the biggest takeaway from Hank's entire presentation. No one knows.

Question everything.

Nobody can ever be wrong.

All right, PFT. Your hot seat. Cool throne.

Well, first of all, Hank, did you do cool Throne?

Yeah, my cool throne was the Lighthouse presentation.

Oh, okay.

And then hot seat was it was the bally sports.

No, your hot seat was you taking.

The clip down yeah.

About James Harden. That was soft.

It was soft. That was a good speech the guy gave.

It was impassioned. He was just right.

He was right.

Impassioned a word.

Yeah, it was an impassioned speech that he gave. It was emotional. It was just passionate.

Well, it was impassioned speech. Can't say it was a passion.

Passionate is it.

Like em, like empathy. You become passion empath, showing intense feeling.

There it is. I nailed it.

I am an empath.

You're not the only nerd here, Jake. All right.

My hot seat is Connor McDavid because his coach got fired again.

Yeah.

So it's time to ask the question. Is Connor McDavid a coach killer big cat? Because this is coach number four, I think, for him.

Not only did his coach get fired, but they lost their number one fan, Ryan Whitney. He has renounced disavowed the Oilers, which actually has made them win. So this is going to sound sad for me. I did put tweet alerts on for Whitney because I saw that he was doing Twitter spaces, emergency Twitter spaces. And let's just say we love Whitney. He's the number one guest who's been on this show. He's not really a guy who's going to be working overtime. So when he was doing the Twitter spaces, I was like, this is good. But now I have Twitter alerts on for him, and all he does is just be like, congrats to the Oilers for winning. You're lucky that, like, stop being a fan.

Yeah, well, they should be more Twitter spaces. Here's the thing with Witt, is that Witt now gets to claim that he was initially right. He was only wrong about changing his mind and being wrong.

Yes.

So his original take that they suck was, yeah, it's Conor McDavid's fourth head coach. A lot of people are saying he's a coach killer. I'm going to say that he's a coach killer just because it's fun and I have no idea if it's true or not, but it's always good to just slap that label on a really good player coach, you're so good that if you don't win everything all the time, then it means that you suck, actually.

Yeah.

Speaking of Twitter spaces, did you guys see the Dolphins fan invade the Jets Twitter space?

Yeah, it was pretty good.

This is very funny. This is just classic radio prank.

Two points I just wanted to make. I was a big fan, like, because of what he did with the defense, I thought he know a really good you know, I thought keeping him or letting him go after the season was going to be a huge mistake.

But holy shit. I don't know what the agenda is.

Behind the scenes with Zach Wilson, but.

It'S fucking disgusting at this point.

Second point I wanted to quickly make.

Was, you fucking suck. Fence up, baby. That's great.

Jets Twitter space with like, 800 people.

Yeah, I love the idea of the jets fan, like, kicking him off and then looking at his phone, be like, get the fuck out of here, man.

Let this guy in.

Staring just solemnly at his iPhone.

Oh, that's great. That is great.

It is good. And our friend Pete Blackburn pointed out on Twitter that every coach that McDavid's had has had some sort of a dick reference in his name. So just something he's got knob lock now. He had Woodcroft, he had Tippett before, and then Ken Hitchcock have been all of his coaches. So he's got a type and he likes getting them all. I'm just I'm excited that we have that narrative now.

Connor McDavid agree.

You have to latch onto a narrative in a sport that you I consider myself to be a hockey expert, but I know that a lot of people in this room don't. But it's good to just take if you're a puck boy, find a narrative and then just latch onto it and keep repeating it.

Coach killer.

My cool throne is diapers. Diapers on my cool throne because Dan Campbell has been asked about his fourth down choices that he's making. How he's going for it? So often on fourth down. And he is advising Lions fans to wear diapers when they watch the game. He says, here's what I would say because I tell my family this. Just wear a diaper before some of these games. I'll give them an alert and say, put them on and be ready to roll. Only Dan Campbell could describe putting on diapers as being ready to roll.

Ready to roll?

Like ready to shit yourself?

Yeah.

Actually, I don't hate the idea. All cars on the table. I have worn a diaper during a game before. So you can pee yourself. You can be a pee dog. Yeah, I did it one time when the lines at the bathroom were very, very long in the stadium. You can dip up for a game.

Yeah. Diape up for this. To my kids, I'm going to be like, you're ready to roll? Yeah, just diaper on. Ready to roll, baby. Ready to roll. I actually act the day and poop your pants.

I might start wearing diapers when we're watching NFL streams on Sunday.

That won't be gross.

You got 7 hours of football.

I'm going to be like a bit we could leave on the table.

It's like Mel Kuiper. Mel Kuiper in the draft.

Yeah. There is bathrooms right next to us. Yeah.

But I understand the principle behind it.

Which is good in principle. I think that's where it's good in principle.

And yeah, I mean, you pee in the sink.

I do, yeah. But that's a hole. That's a drain.

It is a hole.

I don't sit in my own urine.

We just wash dishes in it.

You've also peed in the sink.

I have peed in the sink, yeah.

But yeah.

Dan Campbell Stones talk about the old.

Office piss sink now that we're not there anymore.

Yeah, I mean, I think I talked about it when we were there too. Yeah, there was a shop sink that no one used in the hallway.

Did you get busted?

There was a couple of times where someone maybe came around the corner and I had to zip up real quick, like, oh, wash my hands, I got busted.

It was during a Sunday. I was peeing in the shop sink.

Which is just in the for the reference. It was in the hallway. In the middle of the hallway.

It's a hallway that's not used on business. That shit. Like, it was our office.

And there was like three other businesses.

In this same but we only had two bathrooms for 50 people.

I know, but yeah, not just two bathrooms. We had two toilets for 50 people.

50 people.

And so there was a shop sink that was in the back hallway to the businesses on a Sunday.

Nobody else used this office, which I put everyone onto. I was like, yo, guys, there's a sink. We can piss.

It was just us for the most part. The rule was just leave the water running.

Water running.

Yeah, don't poop it's number one only. And so, yeah, I went back there. I relieved myself. I was, like, the fourth person to use it that day. And then I heard footsteps around the corner, and as I'm zipping up, this woman's like, excuse me? And I looked at her, and I was like, can I help you? And she was like, yeah, I work. Yeah. And I was I'm pissed.

I piss here. Sorry.

Yeah, so do this is I'm working right now, actually.

Listen, Max, what are you going to say? You're going to say that was bad?

No, I was just going to say you were like, yeah, we only did it on Sundays.

Every day.

I only pee to that sink on Sunday.

Listen, I pee in the sink at my house. Every other pee in the sink in the office setting has only been because we have had a limited amount of toilets. It was the old New York office, the first office that we had, like, a hundred people in two bathrooms. That was when I started pissing in the sink. I only do it when I have to.

What if your son sees you peeing and starts doing it?

I'd be like, look, this is what we do. We're men.

Do you have, like, a specific sink, or is it just all sinks, all tables?

Yeah, kitchen sink, no problem. After I do the dishes, give myself a little reward.

I would love to see a urinal built into this studio right here, backed over in that corner. Yeah, that's a good spot for it.

Would be a good spot. All right. My hot seat is max. Max, you're on the hot seat.

Oh, I think I know this isn't a college basketball show.

No, it's not. Oh, you have so many losses, you don't even know what you're on the hot seat for.

I know what it's for.

You're on the hot seat because the Philadelphia Water Dogs are now the team. The Water Dogs are in Philadelphia. And so they announced all the that was a good clap, Jake. No one else clap. Yeah.

Exciting.

Well, more of a team. We've been given Philadelphia as the home of the Water Dogs. Fitting that we finished second last year. Max, every time that we lose, it's your ass.

No, now we band together as a group.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I band together to root for the Water Dogs.

Okay, valid. I just had a question, but you answered. I forgot what place that the Philadelphia Water Dogs in last year second.

So we're the Philadelphia Water Dogs. I love it. I love it. Philly. Philly. When Paul Rabel was talking me through the different options, I was like, it'd be weird. Like, we did Boston or DC or I think it was Great Lakes, maybe for the Midwest region. I was like, why don't we just put this all on Max?

That seems I'm happy to have them. I'm happy to. Have the dogs. I'm happy to ride with my go. I'm ready to go to battle for my guys. I don't think you are. I'm very excited about this because Philly is a great sports town. Passionate sports fans such as yourself, Max. I would like to see an SEC type atmosphere.

Kind of like the bank.

Kind of like a JV version of the bank.

It would be a shame if we started throwing batteries at the Whipsnakes.

We don't do that anymore.

Why did I say do you want to replay what I just said?

Yeah, it would be a shame, but.

It'Ll be a real shame if we did a pardon my take battery. Actually, for one of the games.

I would like our stadium to be, like, the safe space for Philly fans to be able to do all the stuff they used to do.

No, I want them to should bring.

We should bring Santa Claus out every halftime and have the crowd just boom. Just get it out of your system.

Yeah. We want the nastiest fans in the world.

I like that a lot.

Well, you don't have to do anything.

Yeah. I want exclusively Philly trash.

You literally just have to open your eyes, and you open your eyes every day, and it's trash. Okay, fine. Max is exciting. Yeah. No, I'm excited.

I'm excited.

Water dogs.

I love my water dog. My boys are going to be fired up to play in Philly. This group is going to be fired up for Philly sports.

It's going to be awesome. Yeah.

Correct way to pronounce is the fluffy Wooder dogs. Fluffy water dogs. Fluffy.

Fluffy.

Fluffy water dogs. You're just saying different letters. It's the fluffy Water dogs. That's how you say it in Philadelphia.

Fluffy.

The fluffy water dogs.

Yeah. I don't think anyone says Fluffy.

It sounds like Fluffy when they say it. I like the fluffy eagles. Like the yeah.

Yeah.

Kind of like you're if you're drunk enough. It sounds like fluffy eagles.

I'm excited. I'm excited. All right, so big announcement. Yeah. That's great. My cool throne is John Carlos Stanton. So he now gets a pass to be injured because Brian Cashman did a press conference, and Brian Cashman said, we tried talking about John Carlos Stanton. We try to limit the time he's down. But I'm not going to tell you he's going to play every game next year, because he's not he's going to wind up getting hurt again more likely than not, because it seems to be part of his game. What a quote.

So in this press conference, was this the same one where he's just standing outside, like, yelling at yeah.

Yeah.

It seems like that's a man that knows he might get fired. So I see the agent's response.

No. What do you say?

Stanton's agent responded today. I read the context of the entire interview. I think it's a good reminder for all free agents considering signing in New york, both foreign and domestic, that to play for the team, you've got to be made of teflon, both mentally and physically, because you can never let your guard down, even in the offseason.

Cashman might be trying to get like.

It'S a man that knows that. Yeah, actually, I think he might want to get fired. Because if you're the GM of the Yankees and you don't win a World Series, everyone's like, this guy's a clown.

Right?

And anything less than that, and you lose a lot. Like, you haven't won a World Series in a long time. So it seems like a thankless job. You usually don't give a big media press conference outside what appears to be, like, I don't know, a strip of street side restaurants in front of the media screaming at everybody, if you're very secure in your yes.

Yes. All right, so I look forward to more Cashmere quotes if he's trying to get fired, Jake, my hot seat is.

The New Orleans Pelicans. Zion Williamson first overall pick superstar, told the media he's, quote, trying his best to buy in right now. So that sounds very optimistic.

Someone quotes you and said he should try to buy an oxygen mask because he was breathing really heavy during that press conference. And I laughed.

Would you consider Zion Williamson to be a no. No, I don't think I would.

I don't think he's played enough games.

Even though I might have just said superstar. Yeah, that's why I wanted to address it, because I feel like he is called a superstar a lot, but I.

Don'T think that he is superstars play.

What other player has torn through their shoe and affected a stock?

See, he was a college superstar. I absolutely agree with that. Yeah, he was definitely a college superstar.

He won a championship, right?

Yeah, that team was loaded.

Yeah, they were really good.

And your cool throne.

My cool thrones? Lucky underwear. During the Manning cast, Patrick Mahomes told the Mannings that he's worn the same pair of underwear for his entire NFL career, every game.

That was fucked up, too. How he predicted that so perfectly, he knew. Did you see the clip? Eli Manning was like, I think the Broncos were like, first and goal on the ten. He's like, are they going to score a touchdown? And how? And he's like, they're going to run. They're going to run. They're going to do a play action pass and score literally exactly how it went down. Yeah.

Pretty sick. Also, to your point earlier, PFT, I'm going to say Eagles Chiefs monday Night Football is going to be the highest rated game of the season moving forward. Also, there's potential of Taylor appearing in prime time standalone. It has to be Super Bowl rematch, and she's a Philly girl. I mean, it has to be the highest rated game of the year, right? Yeah.

Good call.

Ratings of the year. Yeah.

All right, let's get to our interviews. We've got two of them great ones. Karissa Thompson in studio. And Bruce Bochi. It is brought to you by our friends at Body Armor. Time for our interview with Body Armor and shout out to Body Armor. Body Armor helps us stay hydrated throughout our interviews with the biggest guests in the world. Packed with electrolytes and no artificial sweeteners flavors or dyes, body Armor hydrates the best athletes in the world and more importantly, us. During interviews. Buy body armor today. Visit the Body Armor Amazon store or retailers nationwide, available in stores nationwide. Head on over to the Body Armor store on Amazon and get yours today. Okay. We now welcome on our very good friend recurring guest. Third time on it is Carissa Thompson. You can see her on Thursday Night Football. Amazon prime. Let's start with that.

I'm not in my prime and this is the third time I've been on.

You are in your prime. Yeah. The first time was when you came on. We got every single fact about your life wrong. Yeah, you did. You went to Washington State. We called Larry David. You didn't let us talk to Larry David. Second time was in your office in California with EA. So you and Aaron were on the show. Great time. So this is number three. We're back on our home turf.

Again, factually wrong, though. I know that this is your podcast, so I'm going to shut up and let you ask the questions. But you know, the first time we all met, it wasn't your podcast yet. It was on the set of Sports Live selling b before you guys had a dollar. And now I'm in this bazillion dollar.

Studio, actually 20 bazillion dollars.

I didn't want to put your business in the streets, but if you want to tell people again how rich you are, bravo to you guys.

The first time you were on, part.

Of my take, I remember we were in three different locations. I was in my New York apartment. I think Big Cat might San Francisco for some reason. You were in Hollywood Hills hobnobbing with.

The big shots as I normally do.

I remember my washer and dryer was right behind me because that was also my kitchen.

Yeah, that's right. You just reached in for clean laundry and your top Ramen. But you guys have come a long way.

We have. Wait. So I try to black out the spelling b because it was kind of embarrassing. Was that a low point for you in your career?

No, that was a high point. We went opposite directions.

We walked in. I remember it was so sad because we walked into Fox Sports and there was like a timed union, like dinner. And everyone left and we're like, who's going to run the cameras? And they're like, we'll let one guy stay. So it was like one guy, Carissa, me, Dave and Hank standing there and being like, what are we doing.

It was fantastic. So for those of you that were born, I don't know, recently, Fox Sports Live was the first program on FS One when it became a cable entity and we had no idea what we're doing. But I still reference that show regularly because the shit that we got away with was phenomenal. Yeah, Gary Payton openly referencing, like, I jerked off $30 million. And Andy Roddick saying, what's the other hand for it is one of the greatest moments that no one saw on television. We had so much fun. It was Gary Payton, Donovan McNabb, andy Roddick. Gabe Kapler was on it as well. And the show didn't do as well as we wanted. But you guys were a highlight. And I'm just very proud of I.

Remember the whole time just being like, krista probably is like, why she's going to call her agent after this and be like, what did you just sign me up for?

This is on the contrary. I've just watched from afar. You guys continues to succeed.

Yeah.

What would you say is the low point in your career?

Oh, God. Low point in my career? Probably when I said playcock instead of play clock at a Minnesota Gophers game when I was working for the Big Ten network, it was so cold outside. And I kept saying the word over and over again because I tried to correct it. And then at this point, I was like, back to you, Tom. After saying ten times, I was like, I'm going to be fired. There's no way I am going to continue in this industry. But yeah, that wasn't a highlight.

They have a word with you after that.

Were they like, did you do that on purpose?

No, I mean, they understood it was outside, right. There wasn't a dome at the old Gophers game. So they understood that I was freezing. But they were like, hey, maybe next time if you get the word wrong on accident, maybe don't keep saying it.

Timer it's maybe because we've been around media for so long now and been doing this, my respect for sideline analysts and people who are cutting to has grown exponentially because you guys get like, no time and you have to nail it. And it's like, we're going to go to you 20 seconds. You got to get everything out, all this information. And I would do that. I'd say play cock every time.

There is a reason that I am no longer a sideline reporter. And I say this to Aaron Andrews all the time. I'm like, you prep all week long. You have all these calls with players, you have all these calls with coaches. You have all this for 15 to 20 seconds. And then half the time it's not even on camera.

Right.

It's just like a report. So I'm like the ROI on the amount of work that you put in versus what you actually see. I give them so much respect and there's a reason that I don't do that either.

Yeah. I would just free breeze every time they send it to me, like, wait, I'm on. Okay. And they're like, all right, that's all. Time's up.

Joe, back to you.

The details with how you hold the mic. Each reporter's got like, a different grip on it. Do I go two finger? Do I go three? Do I do the extended pinky? You have to make sure that the mic flag is pointed directly at the camera. And there's a lot of red meat, too, because it's like a break in the action. So if you screw up anything, that's all anybody talks about for the next five minutes on Twitter.

It's a big where's the upside? Like, you're only going to fail in that situation.

Yeah.

I just talked to Mike Tomlin. He says that we need to go out in the second half.

And I and I've said this before, so I haven't been fired for saying it, but I'll say it again. I would make up the report sometimes because, A, the coach wouldn't come out at halftime or it was too late and I was like, I didn't want to screw up the report. So I was like, I'm just going to make this up because first of all, no coach is going to get mad if I say, hey, we need to stop hurting ourselves. We needed to be better on third down. We need to stop turning the ball quarterback. Yeah, exactly. And do a better job of getting off the field. They're not going to correct me on that. I'm like, it's fine, I'll make up the report.

It would be very funny if you were like yeah. So I just spoke with Arthur Smith at halftime and he said Bijon Robinson blew smoke in his face. Why? He's not getting the ball. Yeah, that would be funny if you.

Made up like an I would go back and do sidelines if I could make it up. Like, you know, best in show. Like how funny that show was because of the stuff that what's the guy chris enzo Washington. No, incorrect. Whoever the Tom Hanks actor is. No, that's incorrect.

Yes. Michael McCann.

Okay.

Anyways, the guy that plays who's the actor, I think he passed away in best in show. And Chris Myers is like a spot on version of him in real. But dog show doesn't let you have fun. No, that's the only reason I wouldn't want to do the show.

Yeah, we got kicked out of the dog show.

Well, I've been kicked out of a.

Lot of well, we also faked the credentials.

I got arrested at the dog show.

I didn't hear about that.

Yeah, that was actually the highlight of my career. That might be the low light of most people, but I got arrested and I was put into a holding cell.

No, you were not. And I was like a dog.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They basically put me downstairs, like where the Great Danes were. They're like, stay in here. The Department of Homeland Security started asking me questions because they thought that we had fake credentials to get in. They thought that we were terrorists. I was like, I honestly that's not funny. I wanted to come in here and pet dogs and that's it. And the funny thing was it wasn't even really for content.

No, we just wanted to hang fake credentials.

I want to work here.

There are bad fake credentials. Wait. I think Amazon Prime for Thursday Night Football spice it up a little. We should have, like, two truths and a lie. Like that sideline reporter. Like, they're going to make up one, and you guys have to guess.

I might do that in the post game show depending on how this game goes here on Thursday. No problem.

We're taping this before. Bears, Panthers, we probably run this next week, but you guys have Black Friday, too. Jets. Dolphins. Yep. Bears, Panthers. Yeah. I'm sorry.

No, hey, look, it's the only game on I always look at like this. This is also why I've gambled in the like, I don't care about basketball game four in the NBA season, but I care if I put money on it. Right. So it's the only game on. It's prime time. What else are you doing? So even if the teams maybe aren't as great as you want and the matchup's not ideal, it's still the NFL and it's football.

It's also Thursday Night Football. I love it because it's like the unofficial kickoff to the weekend. You're like, all right, here we go. We have all the football ahead of us because I'm so dumb that when Monday rolls around, I'm watching Monday football like, oh, man, it's over three days.

Till we get football. Yeah. See, now we're being optimistic. It's a beautiful father in you.

Yeah. It's like kick off.

We remember when you had no children. You're all grown up now.

I know. I'm just a lot more tired. All right, so Thursday Night Football on Amazon Prime. It seems like you guys have an awesome time.

The best.

Seems like you guys have a really fun time. How has it been in terms of place spot in your career? Like, getting to work with all these people? Because the entire panel is just like characters.

So shout out to Amazon for giving us the runway to be ourselves. Right? I mean, you guys, I don't need to tell you you've made a very good living off of being yourselves. And when an employer allows you that, same as at, like, they've always let me be who I am, good, bad, or indifferent. And Amazon does the same thing. Fitz is ripping off his know in Buffalo, and Witt is carrying Kevin Hart off the just. They let us be us. And I think hopefully the viewer sees that it's authentic because we aren't polished and there's a time and a place to be professional. But at the end of the day, it's football, it's fun and it's not that serious. So balancing information and entertainment is sort of the perfect 50 50 goal. And that's hopefully what we do every week.

Are you allowed to custom the broadcast?

Are you allowed to? I think it's frowned upon, but if a four letter word slips out every now and then, I'm sure it's not the biggest deal, but I don't think they encourage it.

It would just be awesome, especially for a game like this. You were like, welcome back to Thursday night fucking football.

Yeah. You want me to do it?

You should never dare me to do anything.

I know.

I'll try it once. Probably twice. Boy, does this like my marriage fucking suck.

Yeah, that was a nice slip in there.

Yeah. I got jokes, guys.

But you got a new boyfriend.

I do. I have a great boyfriend because I was a terrible scout. Like I should never be a GM. I think I'm like first rounders and they end up being total busts. So I now don't pick my boyfriends and actually someone else did.

So what is it like dating Ryan Rosillo?

Ryan Rosillo and I are finally together after all these years. He is my brother and this is the kind of relationship we have. I know everyone. I remember Van Pelt was always like, you and Rosillo should get together. I'm like, he's like my brother.

You guys are going to end up I know that in the end. Do you have a pact where if you're both 60 and single listen, if you're both 60 and single, will you marry Ryan Rosillo?

No, because he's like my brother and I'm just not into marrying my sibling.

Friend zone.

No, it's not a friend zone. He would feel the same way. He'd be like, no way I could marry my sister.

We're just like too close. I heard that so much in 8th grade. Yeah, we're just too close to friends. I don't want to ruin it.

8Th grade, but sometimes no, I'm just kidding.

Wait, so who picked your new boyfriend?

Matthew Stafford and Kelly. Oh, yeah, they were like, carissa. You've dated some real losers and married some so we're going to pick and I just thought it was like a rebound. I was like, this is cool. Like, I'll date this guy, he's chill, easy going and then actually it's my longest relationship I've ever been in. So a happy relationship?

Love it.

We've had some real bad ones, but.

Yeah, we got to meet him to approve.

You would approve?

Yeah, maybe Super Bowl week we'll meet him, give know the ocular pat down.

I'm going to get him hammered and try to have some tough conversations with him.

Hard hitting questions. Two truths and a lie. That's what you should have the game come.

Yeah, I'm going to get him hammered and be like, hey, Rosillo was talking a lot of shit about you. You should probably step to him.

Yeah. Get him hammered and just talk about how handsome no.

How much do you squat?

Because zillow squats like 450.

Ryan is fucking jacked.

We need to get Rosillo out of the house. His house is almost as nice as your guys'studio.

Beautiful. Yeah, we went to it.

This guy's rich, too.

What's going on?

I still have 75 jobs, and you guys have the best ones and are loaded.

I actually think that Rosillo would be great in prison. He would love there's a headline.

Think about it.

Because he doesn't really go outside that much as long as prison had league pass and weights.

Yeah.

So obviously prison has weights. So you just work out, eat, and then watch basketball all day.

Tales from the prison yard.

Yeah, he's actually in prison right now, just in the $10 million house.

He's like Pablo Escobar.

All right, I got a question for you. We play this game with every guest that sits down.

Oh, so I'm not special.

Okay.

Got it.

No, but it's like a recurring thing that you do. You guys have bits that you do on Thursday football. You have a gun, and there's one bullet in your gun, and you have to shoot somebody. Do you shoot Aaron Andrews or do you shoot Jeff Bezos?

Where am I shooting them?

In the head.

In the face.

Whoa. Jesus.

Yeah, in the face.

We asked the same question to execution style. Everyone always says, Bezos, by the way.

I would never kill Jeff. He signs my check.

Yeah. So that's via Aaron. So bye.

No, because she would know. No, I would never kill Aaron. This is hard. You have to answer this.

Yeah, but if you don't shoot anybody or you try to shoot yourself, then everybody dies.

Oh, yeah, I'd shoot myself, but then we're all going down. I'd rather I'd rather take us all out than have to pick.

Yeah.

So it's beautiful.

Perissa Thompson wants to murder Aaron.

Okay.

But we'll all be in heaven together in a really nice house.

Yeah, that's true. Who.

Do you think that would actually suck? Because Jeff Bezos would definitely get, like, the first billing in that, right?

Yeah. Oh, it would be his.

Yeah. Yeah.

Like Jeff Bezos dies. Also present Aaron Andrews.

Oh, yeah.

We're always the your podcast with Aaron, though, probably would go top of the charts.

Fine, then death it is.

It's like when a musician dies and everyone just listens to all their music that week. There we go. Yeah. People should die more.

We've recorded episode.

This is Al Michael's calling. Right.

Didn't let us talk to Larry David.

Do you want to talk to Al? Don't say anything. You're on speakerphone. Say hi to the pardon my take, guys.

Hi, Al.

Wait a minute. Are you on the air?

I am. So say hi to pardon my take. Yeah. Say hello.

Hey, gang. Is this a paid appearance?

Yeah. I don't do anything for free. I need money.

Yeah, we offered you $300,000 to come on the podcast, but you declined a.

Paid appearance for me.

Oh, yes. That is you'll get a check.

Carissa has enough money.

No, I don't. I have a lot of bills. Yeah. Okay. Say goodbye before we both get fired.

Aloha, by the way, you are not coming back tomorrow, right? What are you doing? Where are you going tomorrow?

Yeah.

I'm coming back to oh, with me, right? Yeah, we're all coming back together. You've already kicked me off the.

Amina is coming. Amina? You, me, Kaylee and Jared.

I'll go to La.

Perfect. Oh, wait, we got Eric and Dan, too.

Yeah, we'll go. We'll go.

Well, look at that. We have a party.

Yeah. We love you, Al.

I'm going to La anyway, so we'll catch up.

24 hours, party.

Listen, everybody calm down.

This guy, he's good. Everyone.

Al, could you just say real quick, the bears are back?

The cow bears.

No, the bears.

That's how we need to end this conversation. I love you. I love you.

I've got nothing better than that.

Aloha. Damn it. I was so close.

He said the cow bears.

Cow bears.

Jake Marsh's jaw was on the floor that entire.

And this is how sweet Al is. Probably because he feels bad for all of us peasants. He lets us fly back with him.

It's a little PJ talk on his yeah, yeah. PJ talk.

Big time PFC.

When I'm calling games one day, you.

Guys are on my PJ.

Oh, thank you.

We're going to be on his PJ. Herbie gets a PJ, too, right? Yeah.

Okay, so I busy.

I saw a tweet from Herbie yesterday. He does travel a lot. He's got his dog with him on the plane now, and he said that his dog just got certified as an emotional support animal. That feels like a fake emotional support animal to me. It feels like he just wanted his.

Dog have to do that for a PJ. Yeah, that's probably but I'm definitely don't.

I'm not going to question the authenticity of Ben because Ben can do no.

That'S the dog's name.

Yeah, I'm pro Ben what I'd like to, because I'm going to turn this around and open this discussion up for the fake pre borders. Those are the people I want credentials on. You got to show me the handicap. I'm all for you having to get on the plane early, but you look like you're walking fine. You're talking to me right now.

I slip in, you're that guy. Yeah.

I slip in, you're the guy that like, oh, I've got kids. I got to get on her.

No, I don't say anything. You just slip in with all your.

Children or no, by myself. You're a fake three border.

Yeah.

Are these people piquete's always been like, if group three is called and he's group like way back in the day, if he's five.

Yeah. This one's not group three.

He just goes up with he goes.

Up no, the best is the group sevens that are hovering around the entrance.

Yeah. I don't know.

I'm the asshole. That's got to be like, hey, what group are you? And they're like, seven. And I'm like, oh, sorry, can I get by? And then it's like, oh, I'm an asshole because I'm in first class. I've been in 32 b most of my life. You got damn right I'm moonwalking into first class at this point.

I'd never hover. It's literally just as soon as they start boarding, the very first person like.

All right, you're a fake pre border. You know what?

Getting first class.

How long have I known you? Ten years.

I have no problem with it. They never say anything. It's a hack in the system.

Yeah, because then we're not supposed to question if you actually have a handicap.

Question all the rules. Steve jobs taught me that. I don't know if Steve jobs said that.

One time I had a guitar, and they told me, you can get on with the pre board. And I did.

I started because you have an instrument.

They said, sir, you have a guitar. You obviously need that to function in society. You're a weird guy. So I went up to the front, and then a line behind me formed. I was a first person preboard. Everybody behind me was a veteran.

I had to go in front of veterans.

Well, no, they got behind me and they looked at me, I was like, I got the guitar. They have, like, Vietnam hats on. And I'm like it's. A Gibson.

You're an asshole.

They told me, no, I don't go.

In front the flight attendant told me to.

I don't go in front of veterans. If they say boarding group one is boarding and I'm group two, I will get in the back of group one. They're going to get to two. I know how numbers work.

Do everything wrong with this?

No, not at all.

With society.

With society. With just with your generation.

I like when people do that.

Wait, so I want to go back because you said that. So Matthew, Stafford and Kelly hooked you up, but you also kind of hooked up Taylor Swift and can't take we.

Can'T take credit for that.

No, take credit. No, do it because we want a clip and we'll just oh, for social.

Yeah. No, travis was very sweet and he said, I owe you guys big time. Now, this is how this whole played out, was aaron and I have known know forever, and he's been so great to us. He bought Aaron a baby present when she had that's the line of demarcation of being a good guy. Yeah. When I didn't buy you a baby gift, I'm, AJ.

Simpsons. Ever bought. A baby.

Not why are we that's where you.

Loose line.

There's a lot more to life than buying somebody yeah.

Being like, he's a great guy. He bought a baby present.

You are travis kelsey. He doesn't even have to know that Aaron had a baby, but he took the time.

This is pre Taylor.

Travis Summer.

That's not true. How do we know that? What was the date they got some.

Are saying that Travis knew that if he did this that you would go on a podcast.

Yeah.

Because it really matters.

What?

All right. Travis is a great guy. We wanted him to be with someone great. We love Taylor Swift. So the whole know he was telling it on his podcast to his brother about how he had made the friendship bracelet with his phone number. It he couldn't give it to her. Okay. We all know that. And we were like, you have to give Taylor like, give Travis a try. This was like months before they ended up getting together. So in sort of a tongue in cheek way, I think he was like, I owe you guys big time. We had nothing to do with it, but we will gladly take credit for things we did not do.

Okay.

Can you hook maybe Hank up with somebody?

Yeah.

He's always singing sexy red.

Okay.

He's always like, my booty hole brown. He says all the time.

Right.

So do you think maybe you could put the word out to Sexy Red, like Hank Lockwood single, ready to mingle?

Sure.

Ice Spice.

I don't know Ice Spice. Taylor knows Ice Spice. Didn't she introduce her at SNL or something? I don't know. I'm happy to play matchmaker. I love love, even if I've been terrible at it in the past.

Who do you think Hank would be cute with?

What's his type?

Everything.

Oh, wow. That narrows it.

Big, small, tall, short.

I like that. Equal opportunity.

He loves big women.

I know.

That great.

Yeah.

We're going to get back to carissa Thompson in a second. She's being brought to you by Chevy. I am a Chevy driver. I own a Chevy. I purchased a Chevy with my own money because I believe in Chevy. I believe in their cars and their trucks. And there's a new family with unstoppable grit and determination. They are the official partners of the part of my Take family that is the Chevy Silverado family. That's the ZR two. The ZR Two has just joined the Silverado family. This thing is awesome. It's the first ever silverado heavy duty ZR Two. It joins the franchise to make Chevy ZR Two the only truck brand with a full lineup of trucks ready for wherever your offroad adventures take you. It's got the exclusive multimatic DSSV, dampers, rugged, mud terrain, tires up to 14 available camera views. This thing is awesome. The Chevy Silverado ZR Two and Silverado HD ZR Two are a family with commanding and unstoppable grit. Head over to Chevy.com. Check out Chevy Silverado and the family of Chevy ZR. Two S. The official trucks of pardon my take. And now here's more carissa.

Thompson, who has been your favorite guest?

Favorite guest of all time?

I'll ask the questions around here.

Well, we have like ourselves in trouble crew of recurring guests that we love. And there's know Rosillo's in there. Zach Prescott van Pelt blake Bortles blake Griffin.

So you can't pick a favorite. Who's your favorite kid? Let's do the my daughter.

Easy.

Okay. Well, because it's your only girl.

Well, yeah, and everyone always asks me that. Like they're getting a trump card. And I just am like my daughter. Yeah.

I would say I have a favorite dog. I love both my dogs, but Willis is my favorite because he's the OG and he's been there the longest.

Oh, what's your other dog's name?

Daisy.

He knows. She knows.

Yeah, she knows.

Is she?

Yeah, it's a she. Well, I felt bad because I bought Willis and I was like, I'm a dick. I need to adopt a dog because I believe that all dogs, hence the proceeds for Ruby Ranch, are going to the dog rescue that I'm going to start on the ranch. Because I was like, oh, I need to adopt a dog. And she's the sweetest dog in the world. And then the dog that I bought is a dick. But I love him because he knows that I bought him and he's like like, I'm rich. And you're yeah, right.

Wait, so the ranch we gotta get some Stella Blue coffee there because I have a coffee.

Yes, I would love dogs.

But tell us about the ranch. You bought a ranch?

Yes, because I watched Yellowstone, I was that chick that was like, oh, now I want a ranch. So I looked for a long time. I found this awesome property and I'm renovating it currently. And then I'm going to just bring all the dogs that I can onto the ranch. I have cattle there right now. I have a pig. I've got a horse. And I'm just going to turn into a big animal rescue because I'm a shitty person in a lot of ways. But this is like my good deed. This is my deposit back into life.

So you'd be the happiest place on earth.

It really know. I called it Ruby Ranch because there's no place like home. And it's my version of Disneyland. It's just animals running free.

My vision of retirement is just having kind of a ranch or a farm with a whole bunch of animals and just hanging out on my porch.

Okay, then come to Ruby Ranch. Me, you, Rosillo, you're welcome to come. Bring the kids. They'll love the animals. Bunch of chickens. They have fresh eggs in the morning. It's awesome. It's like the best. Look, at this point, professionally and personally, we've done a bunch of different been when I used to work in entertainment. You're like, okay, you go to the Oscars, you go do Super Bowls. You've done all these things. And then I feel like as I get older, I want to do less and less and less and go to the middle of nowhere and talk to no one.

So have you been able to do less? I actually am very curious about we talk about it every now and then. Allude to it like, someday we won't. Someday everything ends.

I look at it like this. As long as I have opportunities to stay employed, I want to stay employed as long as I can because I love my like it doesn't feel like work, right? I'm sure you guys feel exactly the same way. So hence why I'm very fortunate that Fox lets me also work at Amazon. Amazon let me work at Fox. I get to do the podcast. I started an interior design company during COVID I just like to do a lot of things if the opportunities are there, but I also know that those will go away one day. So then at that point, I'll just disappear on the ranch. And I always think about it like this. If you're on the bowl, stay on until that thing bucks you and then be like, peace.

That's a great setup.

As long as people are still giving you money to do an insane job.

That you love, why would I be like to leave 100% and then at.

The end of the day you're like, I'm just going to go hang out with the animals now.

See it.

Bye humans.

That's a great you've set it up perfectly.

But this is why I have so much respect for people like Barry Sanders or an Andrew Luck who walked away from a game where they could make so much, you know, nowadays with know more recent I know the paychecks weren't the same for Barry back in the day, but like the guys that walk away from that and I know it's not just about money, but for me, right now, it is like paying bills and stockpiling cash and then disappearing.

Yeah, that's the problem for us. We'll never stop doing this because if we said we're going to retire tomorrow, like Sunday, I'd text PFT and be like, you want to watch some football?

If I had told you like ten years ago when you're on the set during the union break, the best union line ever was, one of the guys goes they're like, okay, five minute break. He goes, you can't take a five minute break in six minutes. And I was like, that's the union right there in a nutshell. But if I would have told you guys ten years ago while you were sitting there not spelling the words correctly that you would be here, you wouldn't probably have believed it.

No, it's been a dream.

Why have you guys been so successful?

Do you mean there's a lot to that. A lot of it does have to do with timing.

I would say luck.

Yeah, a lot of it has to do with timing because we started podcast before everybody had a podcast. There were some out.

That a shot at Aaron and I. Yep.

Yeah, it was a shot at you.

Calm the fuck down.

Again, I love Erin. She's the best. But yeah, like, everybody has a podcast now. And there wasn't that much competition to mainstream sports, talk radio, mainstream television that you watch in the mornings. So we kind of were in the right place at the right time. And I think we tapped into a way of watching sports that a lot of people really missed, which was they're supposed to be fun and you're supposed to be able to make jokes, and you're not supposed to take it too seriously. And I think also, when we started, our production value was like, nothing right? And so people liked that. It was refreshing because you don't want to watch people talk about sports. Wearing a suit in a studio, being super professional. It's like, that's not how people talk about the game.

But that's also what I like about Amazon and even Fox, too, where it's like, yeah, it's a little bit more professional at Fox just because they are in a studio. But you don't have to wear a tie and for like it just fits is wearing a you know, just being authentically yourself is cool, too.

And the great thing with Terry and Jimmy is you can put them in a suit, but that doesn't mean that they're going to buttoned up and stuff.

But how have you guys navigated in the cancel culture that we live in? How do you feel like you've been able to sort of dodge these landmines that exist that I feel like this people are waiting for you to mess up back to the aforementioned sideline thing. You do one thing wrong, and it's like, I know this all too well. Things don't leave the Internet and really bad shits happen to me. And it's like people can still see that. And I was a victim of something really shitty. But people still take shots. It's my fault that my phone got hacked, right? So it's like there's all these landmines out there that you kind of have to navigate. And how have you guys done that with success and not been canceled?

I think it honestly we've said this many times before, and people like, oh, you guys are just saying this to say this, but getting canceled on ESPN was the best thing to happen to.

Us because you guys know my thoughts on all that.

Yeah, we started at this progression where we started the show. It got really big, way bigger than we thought, very fast. And then it was like, all right, what's the next step? Oh, we got to get a TV show. Then that all comes crumbling down. And as disappointed as we were in the moment, we both, and Hank included, had the epiphany of, like, our audience will go anywhere for us.

They're coming for you guys.

Right. They will be here for us. We don't need to go to some other platform. We don't need to take this step up in being on TV or doing something else. We can do what we want to do in our world, and our audience will back us. And so I think having that, we almost have this little island that we can't be touched. Obviously, there's things that could touch us. Not saying that anyone of course.

Yeah.

But I think we put up so many years of content that people have enjoyed and they've been with us for so long that we know what we have and we're happy with it, and we don't have to try to look for the next best thing.

Well, that's where you always go. The guys over at Fox have been together for 30 years. You can consume sports anywhere now, right? Your phone, watch a show, don't watch a show. Listen to the podcast. But you are coming for the people and investing in people. And even we had Dan Patrick on our podcast, and just those were the heydays of ESPN because it was about the Bermans. It was about the rich eyes, and it was about the individuals, and the sports were secondary. And that shift is now. It's like and everyone has, like, a changing of the guards with whatever they're doing. And I don't know what's going on over there because I don't work there anymore. But I love people, even for me, with sports. Like, yes, I have fandom being from Seattle, and I root for Seattle teams, but I still root for individuals if they go somewhere.

Right. And it really does come down to, like, there's something very freeing about realizing that what you have is awesome and not saying, oh, I need the next thing, and the grass is greener and that stuff.

Except in relationships, I'm always looking for the next best thing. I'm kidding. Steve, I love you.

Yes, Steve. We love you.

That's remaining to be seen.

That's a cute name for Ryan.

Steve.

Steve.

You guys really want me to be together with Ryan? We'll have a fake weding.

No, it's fine.

Like when people's dogs get married to each other. You're going to do a fake wedding with Priscilla?

I wish some of my weddings were fuck. Would have saved me a lot of money.

When you say some of my weddings.

That'S always I know.

Hey, look, guys, you know, in life, you have to own who you are. There's many chapters to my story, and I'm good with all of them.

Yes. Does any fan base hate you?

Oh, I'm sure. Is there one that you mean like a city?

Yeah. That you hear.

Mean? Maybe. Now, I don't know. I don't think that there's one I haven't.

We can find one for you.

Oh, I'm sure.

Let's talk about it. What do you think about Dak Prescott?

Oh, I have no problem with Dak Prescott. I think he's in an unenviable position, but also a great position if you're the quarterback for it comes the good, comes with the bad. I don't ever feel sorry for people that are in positions that are enviable.

We think about the bills.

I love the bills. When we went there last week or two weeks ago, whatever, it was phenomenal. Like, what a great fucking city. Why you're looking?

Fishing.

I'm on a fishing.

No, I don't think there's a fan base that's like, I have a target on my back. I'm sure that there's a lot of individuals that think I'm annoying, but I don't fish it.

Do you, like, read your comments?

No, I stopped doing that after the bad thing happened to me because it was only going to be whatever. But I think I told you guys this really early on in my career. I always put that in quotes because I always feel like a dick, being like, my career dead spin. You guys weren't born yet. Wrote an article and said, because I dyed my hair right. We talked about this. I didn't want to be a Barbie on the sidelines. Now I'm like, oh, God, I'd love to be a Barbie on the sidelines. I'm going back. I dyed my hair dark. And they wrote that Carissa Thompson's on a suicidal path to frumpyville. And I cried. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so mean. And then after that, I was like, who cares?

And then they became the judgers of everyone. Isn't that funny how it works?

Bored. Yeah.

The people who judge the most have stuff in the past where they're like, oh, yeah, I've changed as a person. Yeah.

I mean, growing up, my mom was like, you don't like everyone. Why would you think that everyone likes you?

I just think that's a good lesson.

Really early on, it was about if I'm going to get into this industry, be prepared for negative comments. Someone's not going to like the way you look or not like your hair or not like what you're like. Who cares? As long as I stay employed and the people I work with and the people I work for are good with me, then I don't really care what Joe in the basement thinks.

That's smart, though. It's hard to get to that point. I struggled with it.

Did you?

Yeah, of course. When you start and you read, especially when it's early Internet and it feels like we would blog and it'd be like 20 comments every blog, you could read them all. And yeah, you definitely see it. And you see 19 positive comments, one negative, of course. Only one that sticks with you. And then you got to slowly get to a point where it's like, listen, there's going to be people who hate me. It was right when it is what it is.

Twitter came out and I didn't know how the search button on it worked, so I put in Carissa Thompson.

Oh, no. Never did.

And you guys no, I tweeted out my name because I didn't know how it worked. And so then I came back and everyone's like, Cool. Is that how you spell your name? And I was like, Fuck, that's embarrassing. I was, like, looking up what people were saying about me, and it was a tweet. And so then that was like, really early on. When did Twitter come out? Like 2004 or something.

Nine.

Yeah. So it was right then. And then after everything bad that happened to me, I was like, I'm not looking at any of this crap anymore. And I don't say this arrogantly. I just am very comfortable with that's why? I self deprecate about whether it's the marriage stuff or like if I have this zit on my face or whatever. I don't really care anymore. And not in a bad way. I just think I'm like at a point I'm sure you guys are there, too, where you're comfortable with who you are and very liberating.

Very liberating. I saw that zit.

I was like, she's so brave.

Yeah, I know I am. I'm a hero.

Just like us stars.

They're just like us. They're grocery shopping.

The biggest complaint that we get, which I actually agree with now, is that the cameras that we have are too high.

Oh, it's gross.

Me and Big Cat are not. This face right here.

I couldn't agree more.

This face is meant for radio, and my voice is meant for allegra.

How many chins am I getting over here, you guys? I'm not interested in seeing four k. Twelve K. Like, back up, blur the photo. Give me some film. Like, the best pictures that we have. When we looked at our parents photo albums, they look incredible because it's blurry. It's basically a filter now, is like, what photographs were back in the day. I do not want and back the camera up.

Why are we so unlike you? Who. You probably have a great team at Fox and Amazon. Our team loves to just like if we take a bad picture, that's the thumbnail.

That's the wait, no, you know who does that? Articles do that. Why do they pull, like, a random getty image when you're like mid conversation.

Or again, I took one picture at a fanatics party, like five years ago. And you can't fat and everyone uses it.

And you're going to use it, right? You're like, dude, I don't look like that anymore. I know I had this one.

No, I look fatter.

But yeah, you're stupid. I had wearing, like it was like my first headshot when I worked for the Colorado Rockies. And I was in this brown suit and I saved up all my money and bought it at Express. And I thought I was, like, killing it. I couldn't get rid of that stupid picture for, like, 20 years.

So our guys go worse. They actually take pictures of us. And then they go in and they photoshop them to make us worse. Look even worse.

They do people work for you?

Yeah, dead serious.

They will fire them.

They will make us fatter. They will put bags under our eyes.

The best, though. And especially now in the filter days or editing photos or something. And someone's like, oh, you look great there. I'm like, yeah, because that's not what I look like. And I don't care. I don't want to know what I look like anymore. When your phone's like face not recognized. I'm like, perfect. Some shit's changed. Although I did. I was doing way too much Botox for a while, and then I was like, I look like a cat. Like, we need to stop with this and bring it down a notch. My mom goes, what are we doing here? That's the thing where you realize you're like.

So it's also funny when people just don't understand how age works. They'll see a picture of me from seven years ago, they'd be like, Damn. What happened? I'm like, seven years, dude. What do you mean, what happened? Seven Years.

Right, exactly. I have three children. Seven years and I'm really rich. My favorite Kong coward line was someone said to him, they were like, how do you sleep at night with the things you say? And he's like next to a really hot redhead on a bed full of money. And it's like, I'm good.

All right, well, I know you are pressed for time. This has been awesome.

No, I have nothing to say.

Okay? So you can stay forever. Perfect. You do the whole show with us? No.

I will get out of here. I love you guys so much. Proud of you. I really am. Like on my way over here with Fitz and Witt. I know you're going to talk to him next, but I was just saying good for you guys.

Appreciate It.

I'm proud of you, too.

And you've done it your way. Good for you.

It's always nice having friends on who we've known for a very long time. And just seeing it. It's just great.

Yeah. I'm really proud of you guys. And I will take some of that coffee. That's awesome.

Yes. You get some of the coffee. I have one last question. Rowback Question. Rho Bac.com. Promo code. Take 20% off your first purchase. Rho Bac.com. Qzips polos hoodies, joggers shorts. Rowback.com promo code take. What night are we going to go out? Super bowl week in Vegas.

All of them.

No, I can't do all of them. I only could do one.

So we don't have the game this year. So Fox has it. Two of the three years we had it last year and we'll have it next year. So this is sort of my free year because I don't actually have to do the broadcast. So I'm down for all of them Wednesday night. Yeah, we'll figure it out.

Wednesday is usually pretty good. Yeah, maybe Thursday, too.

Maybe get a pack of heaters, smoke up Johnny real banner. You're at the Bender household.

It's just I can't do vegas is going to kill me. Actually, New Orleans is going to kill me next year.

Yeah, I got to be more disciplined in on that one.

We went to the final four New Orleans a few years ago. The last day we were in there, we were there for like six days. I'm not joking. I took a walk. I just walked for 7 miles away from the hotel and then 7 miles back because I was so bloated and felt so crappy.

Wait, you get in more trouble in New Orleans than you do in Vegas.

Yeah, because the food yeah, the drinks.

Too, the hand grenades and then just the hurricane.

You just have side of gumbo with everything. Yeah.

You can smoke cigs inside New Orleans.

Crazy.

Wait, because Wit's coming in here. Wit, of course, being from Louisiana, when we were down there, he ate so much because he went out with David Chang's on our show as well, who incredible Michelin chef and has done more in his life than I'll ever do. But him and Witt went out and they ate at every place in town, which becomes normal.

I would start every day, be like, oh, yeah, why wouldn't I have five beignets with my coffee?

You look great.

No, I don't. But that's okay. Carissa, you're the best.

Love you guys.

Thank you for coming on. Thank you for stopping by.

Thanks for and by the way, next podcast, we're doing the fourth one or fifth one, depending on how we're counting this thing. We'll do it at the ranch.

Yes.

I'm in.

I'm not kidding. I'll get your ass up on my horse. We'll chase, know, steer around and have a horse.

I'll pet the dogs.

I've been on a horse one time.

Feet on the ground.

All right.

Bye, guys.

Love you.

Carissa Thompson was brought to you by part of my cheesesteak. Yep. Part of My Cheesesteak just unleashed a menu that will have your mouth watering in no time. You can check out the Pardon My Africa bowl sponsored by part of my cheesesteak. The videos from that are going to be coming out shortly with Donnie and Billy over in Uganda watching them show down against Kenya. I think Billy gets into the game. He coaches. Donnie coaches. It's going to be electric. Great video. We brought part of my cheesesteak over to Uganda. Hold on to your taste receptors because we're introducing the new stars of the show. It's the chicken bacon ranch cheesesteak. It is so good. They got chicken tenders. They're so delicious. Scrumptious mouthwatering tasty. We had the chicken bacon ranch cheesesteak before it came out. Blue reminds whether you're a cheesesteak aficionado, a finger food enthusiast, or simply someone who values the art of comfort cuisine, this menu has something for everyone, including the monumental big Cat combo order now on Partomycheesteak.com, also available on Uber Eats. And now here's Bruce Bochi.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He is the manager of the Texas Rangers who just won the World Series, his fourth World Series, some are saying maybe the greatest manager in MLB history. We can maybe have that debate. It is Bruce Bochi. I want to start by saying we just heard you talking to someone from your team. It team, they called you Skip. Can we call you?

Yeah, that works for me.

Okay, great. All right, well, Skip, how's it? The dust is settled. You have it a couple of weeks, fourth World Series. Where does this rank? How are you feeling? Like, in terms of, oh my gosh, we just did that. Like, no one expected us to win this thing and we just won a World Series by winning every game on the road.

Yeah, well, I'll first begin with it was a hell of a ride, especially what these guys end up doing, winning eleven consecutive games on the road against the teams that we had to play. So they're all special, and they're special in their own way, but this one we did deal with a lot. And for this to happen, it really hasn't sunk in. Be honest. It happened so fast. And you have the parade and I just drove to Nashville. It's about a ten hour drive from Dallas. So I'm being humbled here. Right now, I got my wife telling me, take the trash out, and I got grandkids on me. So right now I'm just chilling, relaxing. But at some point this winter, I'm sure I'll reflect and just think how blessed I am for this to happen, especially the first year. There's so many people to thank for.

Yeah, for sure. Skip question about coming back to Major League baseball. So you were in Nashville, you were enjoying life like you said, your grandchildren hanging out, thought you were retired, you get a call to come back and manage again. Now, you were only out for a few years, but was there anything that changed about Major League Baseball and about managing in those short years that you were out that took you a couple of weeks, maybe a month or two, get used to a new way of doing things?

Well, I'll say this again. Yeah, it changed quite a bit. I think you look at the rules. This was the first time I had to deal with the three batter minimum. Initially, I wasn't a big fan of it, but it's something you get used to. I always tried to, I guess, get the best matchup I could. So when you have. A three batter pocket there. Then the strategy is a little bit different, but the biggest is the clock. No question about it. I think it has really worked out well. I love it personally. Keeps the game moving, action. They took the shift away. So I think it's a better game, no doubt about it. They're shorter, they're crisper. It allows you to play your guys more. They don't need the days off like they used to. There was times when games would be over four or four and a half hours, and nobody wants to see that when the game's dragging along. So I think it's been good for everybody. So I say that's a biggest difference. Now as far as the players and everything, there's some things that just won't change. Our guys, they're great players.

They're competitive. That part will never change. The fundamentals, that's never going to change in our game. So you still have to do that and make sure they talk about analytics. And that was part of the game when I first started managing, and I'll go back to 1995. Now, granted, I was using color pencils and charting out where they hit the ball and everything. So it's a little bit different now. It really hasn't changed as much except for the better, I think.

Yeah. All right, so I have a question about this run, because it was an incredible run. Like I mentioned, off the top. Won every road game out the I'm dumb. Okay, so Jose Altuve hits that home run against you guys in game five. I was like, the Rangers are dead. Dead man walking. No chance to go back to Houston and win both these games. What did you say to the guys? Or was there a speech? Or was it just, I trust these guys. I know that we're not dead because from the outside looking in, I was like, you can't come back from that where you're about to take a three two lead and now you have to win two games in Houston.

I'll be honest. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to be different than all the other times that we took a gut punch. I mean, these guys just kept getting up all year. You talk about the injuries, every team deals with them, but with the grom and guys going down, they just kept focusing. You know, I'll go back to Seattle when we lost that last game there. If we won one more game there, we win our division. We go home. We had five days off. Now we got to go to Tampa and beat those guys in their home ballpark didn't phase these guys. They went to Baltimore, didn't phase them. So I really thought the best thing for this club right now, hey, just keep doing what we're doing. That's bounce back. I mean, they kept getting up after getting knocked down so many times. It's strange. Series, obviously with both teams winning all road games, but these guys did all year, and it's because we had men on the team and they were able to handle it.

I love it. Dogs. We had men dogs.

We had a bunch of dudes on the team. When they sold you to come back and manage the Rangers, I imagine that there were some conversations about the plan that was in place to be competitive. I don't know if that plan included winning a World Series in year one. That probably would have been a lofty and ambitious goal for you. But how quickly did you expect to compete?

I'll be honest. When I was talking to Chris Young, our general manager, and he was talking about his vision, and our owner, Ray Davis, was talking about his commitment, he was going to go out and get some starting pitching like Chris wanted, and he was going to give us the tools that we needed. I really had a good feeling about this club. Now I go to spring training and as you mentioned, we had dudes out there. Oh, my goodness, this is a talented ball club with a really good pitching staff and that just sent a sense of confidence all over these guys. Now to say we're going to win the World Series, that's hard to say, but I really thought that we would have a shot at it by getting to the postseason. I really felt this club doesn't get to the postseason, I'm going to be shocked. And that's how good I thought they were. So I just looked at what they had in place. When you have a seeger and Simeon up the middle, jonah Hine coming into his I mean, what a dude this guy is. And then you look at the young guys, Tavaris and Young, they just was loaded with talent.

So I wasn't surprised that we got there.

Yeah. So one guy I wanted to ask about specifically, Nathan Avaldi, who it feels like he doesn't get enough credit for just being that big Haas that you can throw out there in a series and be like, he will shut them down, he will give us innings. He did it, obviously with the Red Sox, he did it again with the Rangers. But he never gets talked about that way. When he's out there. Are you at a certain level of like, I just know he's going to go out and shove. He's just nails like big moments he is there for.

Right. And I think he will talk about him. Now. That part of our game. You got to have talent, but it's performing under pressure and we couldn't have had a better guy out there on the mound needing to win one more game. I compare him to a guy we had in 2014, madison Pop Gardner.

Yes.

Certain players, those guys, they just get better in the moment, in the big moment I'm talking about. So we had all the confidence with him and you look at the game that he pitched, he was in trouble. It seemed like every inning, first four innings, but he just has the calmness and confidence about him and he just nails it for you out there. So he just is a guy that I think is going to go down as one of the greatest postseason performers. When you look at what he's done, you can talk about that game he had in La. That was amazing. But a game like that, I think, does so much for a player. It's like, hey, I've done it, I can do it again. But he just has that maniacal focus. You love every game when that postseason, he ramps it up even more.

I love it. Those are the type of players you just love watching because it doesn't matter what their regular season is, you know, when the postseason comes along, they're going to have it. Bumgarner is a was that stretch that he had with you guys in the Giants, it felt like he was the most automatic thing and it was just something nasty about it. Whereas when he's on the mound, he takes it personally and he's just never going to get off the mound. He's going to get outs and that's what he's going to do for his team.

I had a great seat watching it and they are you appreciate not just their talent, but the makeup of these guys. There's a lot of stake, the pressure, and these guys thrive on it. They're better. That's what separates them from the average player. So we were lucky when we signed Nate. I knew that. And getting to know him, I mean, what a great teammate know, you hear that a lot, but he's off the chart with that and he's always pulling for the guys. But he's the guy it he wants the ball out, know, not just to win, but he has a cause. I'm talking about he wants to do it for his teammates. So we were lucky to have him healthy because we lost him for a while and we were a different team without him. But when we got him back, I think the other starters feed off him, too.

Yeah.

What about yourself? What about if you were to self scout yourself or I guess a different way to ask it would be what would your players say about you that's different during the postseason as opposed to the regular season? Because I think you are the best postseason manager of all time. If you just look at the numbers, you've done very well for yourself. So do you change at all in the postseason or is it the same old, same old, stay consistent throughout the year?

You know what, I think the players would say that I'm consistent. I hope they do. Don't say, hey, the manager was panicking over there, but I do things different and they were good with it. We moved the order around, hit young eight, dropped low down, and these guys were all in. They didn't care who did it, how we did it. They just wanted to do it. And so they were good with that. They were good with me. I didn't have to sit down with each one of them, say, this is why we're doing it. So I think I had some trust from them. But I think more than anything, they said, no, he's got the same calmness that he has during the season. That's what I'm hoping they would say.

Yeah.

Hey, prime members. Did you know that you could be listening to this podcast episode and all Barstool sports podcasts on Amazon Music ad free, simply included with your prime membership, all Amazon Prime members get access to the largest catalog of ad free top podcasts. You can enjoy shows like Part of My Take, Spitting, Chiclets, and many more. To start listening, download the Amazon Music app or visit amazon.com barstool 23. That's amazon.com Barstool 23. And now here's more. Bruce Boshi.

The dumb question here, but I'm dying to know it. Obviously, postseason is different, but regular season, how often do you think you get bored watching baseball?

There's a lot of games bored?

Yeah. Where you're just like, damn, this game is kind of boring, or your mind wandered. Yeah, your mind wanders.

Boring may be a little strong, but I will say there are games we were a club that could blow out teams. So that's going to change the game. You're actually hoping it gets over, to be honest. You don't want to pummel somebody too bad, or we've been on the other end. And that's the same way now. Back when I was with the Giants, we were called the team with torture. Every game was a one run ball game.

Yeah.

This was just a different brand of baseball. So we had quite a few of those games. I probably used more position players pitching this year than I've used my whole career. And that's where the games change a little bit. So, yeah, I'll be honest, those are games you're hoping that in pretty quick.

Yeah. Board might be the wrong word, but do you ever catch yourself in the middle, like, say, the middle of July, you're on the road and you kind of snap too, and you're like, wait, I haven't really been paying attention the last half inning. I should probably start watching a little more.

Yeah, man, I can't say that because I always have a fear of getting surprised. That's my thing I talk about with the players. Be prepared, whatever, and this game will humble you, man. As soon as you drop your guard, something's going to happen. And I've been there. I try not to doze off too long.

Yeah, that's a good answer. That's probably why you're one of the best managers of all time. And I would be terrible at it.

I got another dumb question for you. So one thing I love about baseball, besides the new big bases, the big bases are really nice. I'm sure you'll agree with that. They're slightly bigger, but from the managing perspective, it's the only sport where the leader of the team gets to wear the uniform on the field. So you wear the baseball pants, you put those on, you put the jersey on. I would love to see it in the NBA if, like, Tom Thibodeau has to put on an actual jersey to go out there to coach the game. Do you like getting dressed up in the pants, or would you prefer to wear, I don't know, like some athletic shorts or like a track suit for a game?

That's a good one.

Yeah.

You know what? I haven't really thought about it, but it wouldn't be a bad idea. Wear a sweatsuit or something just a little more casual. But no, actually, I like putting uniform on, actually, for years. First couple of years, I still put spikes on. I like that concrete dugout. So there's something about putting that uniform on. It is special. And now there's so many of them. My biggest worry on the days I'm going to walk out with their own uniform, they got so many different ones. So my office is separate from the clubhouse, so I got to walk in there just to see what union we're wearing that day.

Yeah. And you also are known for having maybe the biggest head in baseball. And I don't say that as an ego thing. I'm literally saying you have the biggest head, more brains. What size head do you have?

Normally I'm an eight and an 8th, but some hats that wear eight and a quarter, if you notice, I think it snuck up on MLB again during the postseason. When you win, when you climb each round, they break up the hats for you and none of them fit. It looked like a beanie on my head. When I go back and look at it, that's the dumbest look. I look like Domer Pyle running around there with his big head. That's kind of, I guess, my claim to fame, this big head. And back when I played, that was really abnormal. So they had a special order, my helmets and hats. Sometimes I take a while and I wasn't a good player, so I got moved around a lot. Played five years of winter ball with that helmet. Had to go with me. So it had about 20 coats of paint on it.

Do you think there was ever a front office that was like, thinking about signing you? And they're like, but we're going to have to get a new helmet and hat. This isn't worth it.

No, it's the clubbies that panic. They're in full panic when I show up. Oh, no. Especially at the press conference. They need a little bit of time to get a hat so I can wear at the press conference.

Yeah, I think it makes you smarter.

It means you got more brains in there, so I think it's an advantage.

Yeah, I wish I wish that was the case. There's a couple of parking spaces in there.

Trust me.

There was one that I saw. So the hat was hanging on by dear life in the celebration, I think when you get a snapback, do you go with the last button on it, or is it the last two buttons that you use?

Well, I try to go with the last button, and it looks so bad, and I just unbutton. That's the best way to go when it doesn't fit and just kind of lay it on the head, and eventually it's getting to the side and everything, like it said. Now you're looking like Gomer pile. He walked around. You guys are too young to know who that is.

No, we know gomer pyle for sure. Come on. We know that. We know our references. One thing we love about managers when they get kicked out of a game has there been times when you're like, I have to get kicked out to fire up my team. I'm not even mad about anything, but I got to use an excuse to get the guys riled up, and I'm going to go. Or maybe even a time where you're like, I kind of want to sit in my office, air conditioning, watch the rest of the game in here.

Yeah, no, you're right on both there's times yeah, you got to go out there, I think, when things are getting stagnant and they need to know that you're passionate about the game. But there are some games there where, as you mentioned earlier, they get a little long. So you're looking for that window where you can go out there and just give them the business and go to the office and watch the rest of it.

Have you ever done the dirt on the home plate move? That's my favorite.

Yeah, I did that early. I did that 95, 96 a few times. I love that, too, to be honest. Or a Weaver was the best. No, that was one of my favorites. But I don't move around quite as well now, so I'm afraid I'll go down kicking dirt.

It's just such a hilarious concept to be like, I'm going to make you clean, and then the UMP usually tells the catcher they have to clean it, and it's just the best. The entire interaction is so funny.

All right. That part of games kind of left us, to be honest. I mean, it's still happening, but really the only argument is balls and strikes. Just replay or review it. It's a little different game as far as that. I know that's an entertaining part of the game. I'm not the best at my arguing. I need to work on that. Yeah, but it's a great part of the game. I loved it when the umpires went out there.

Speaking of review real quick, I'm so fascinated by this because every player that ever has like a bang bang play thinks that they made the play and they immediately tell the manager, hey, go look at it. Do you have a rule with some of your guys? Because you know that they're just not like they never are, right? Like, hey, look, you think you caught that, but you think you catch.

You know, that reminds me of Steve Finley, great player I had, center fielder, and he was always safe. He got me thrown out of more games. This is back when you could review it and, jeez, I don't know what he cost me, but back then I think it was $250. Every time you get thrown out, but they add up. But now with the review, it doesn't matter if they do that. You just look at it now where it's going to come into play, and I think Major League Baseball is going to get it. Triple A challenge system on balls and strikes. Yeah, you get three and same thing, what you're talking about with the players at the plate, every strike they call is not a strike. So that's going to be the tough one. You got to tell the players if it does happen, hey, we can't burn these up on you, all three. So you got to be positive on this because that's more of a case where you got to challenge right then.

Yeah, the first batter of every game is going to be like, use all three challenges. I was right.

Yeah, right.

There was actually a specific game this year. It was on September, I think, 20th, it was against the Red Sox where you got ejected. And the day before, I believe you told your team or you made a public statement to the effect of we need to be more locked in at the plate. And then the next game you get kicked out for arguing balls and strikes, showing your guys that you're locked in at the plate from the dugout. That's how locked in you are as the manager. So you get kicked out. They go on to win that game, and your team rallies behind you a little bit. Would you say that that was the best ejection of your career?

You never know if it made a difference or not, but you certainly feel better when that happens. And they do bounce back and you're hoping, well, maybe that did supply some kind of spark to get them going again. Because it's a long season, man. It's 162 games, and some of these games you're going to go out there flat. So you got to do what you can to get things going. And if you go out there, you get thrown out, come back and win. Yeah, I'll be honest, it's a pretty good feeling for a manager.

Yeah.

So one of our favorite players who you manage, tim Linsukum. When he came up and you're managing him, were you like, how is this possible? How is this guy throwing like this? He's so small and he's just a freak. That's his nickname. What were your thoughts when you saw Tim Lincoln for the first time? And you're like, this is something like I've never seen before.

Yeah. No. When? First time I saw him was my first year with San Francisco in 2007. And opening day of spring training, we go out on the field and Dave Brigetti, my pitching coach, says, by the way, look over there. Look at this little scrawny kid. He probably weighed 140 pounds. I'm serious. He was small because that's your number one pick last year. I said, you're kidding me? And I looked at him and after about two throws, he was winging this thing. It had to be close to 100 miles an hour. We put him in a game. I mean, we used him that spring, and I said, this is incredible what this kid's doing? You're talking about doing everything just right as far as having that torque when you're throwing. As you said, he was just a freak. And I was still amazed, and I will say this after we just won. I've been trying to get a hold of Timmy in the last couple of years, and he sent me a really nice text. He's like my kid. That's how much I love this kid. But I'm still amazed at things in this game, and he is one of the more incredible talents that I've had in all my years.

He's right up there at the top.

Yeah, he was so much fun to watch him pitch. If you're dealing with a personality. I don't know if Tim would be like this. I don't know what he was like during games, but Madison Bumgarter certainly would come to mind. If you're the manager and you go out there and you're going to take the guy out and they give you the look like, don't take me out of this game. Have you ever been talked out of taking manager out or taking a picture?

Yeah, I think a couple of times. I didn't this year, like I normally do, where I go out there and check on him just to look in his eyes. Whatever Madison was one of did, he never wanted to come out of the game. So there were times when he would be honest. He goes, Listen, I know I can get this guy or next two guys, and then I'm good. So I'd leave them in. Even Chris Young, our general manager, he was telling a story back in the postseason in 2006 when he was pitching against the Cardinals. He said, you went out there. I thought I was coming out of the game and you left me in. But just looking at him, talking to him and telling him what I thought, he's the right guy out there. I left him out there. So, yeah, you're going to have those moments. That's the beauty of our game. You talk about analytics comes in handy, all that stuff, but you just got to have a feel for, I think for the players, who the man is, and hopefully that helps you make your decision.

What I love about you is we can tell how much you love the game of baseball like you really love baseball. And we've talked to some football coaches that have almost broken down in tears describing how much they love football. When they talk about just the game of football. Can you just talk about the game of baseball and why you love it?

Gosh, I go back to when I was a kid. I never forget my dad. I'm the son of a sergeant major that we moved every three years, and he's one that got me playing baseball, but he got stationed at the Pentagon, so he took me to watch Washington Senators play. This is back in the late sixty s and first time I saw the field, like a lot of kids, oh my goodness. They had Frank Howard, who unfortunately just passed, who ended up being a coach for me back when I was with the Mets for a little bit. And that's all I wanted to do all day, just play baseball. And then when my career ended as a backup catcher, I knew that I wouldn't stay in the game. I didn't know really what role, but once I started managing, I said, man, this is what I should be doing. And I never thought that time I'd manage in major leagues. I had the manager of a major league club on such a high pedestal, I would have been happy with managing my leagues my whole life. That's how much I loved it. It just is in me.

And my wife said the same thing when I came back this year. She goes, I knew he's going to go back, he'd be watching the games and making comments, and I knew how much he missed it. And sure enough, after I tried to help the French team and helped them qualify for the WBC, I knew if I ever had a chance that I would come back and manage.

Yeah, that's great. You can tell, like PFT said, it just comes across how much you love the game. A couple last questions. What's the hardest thing about managing a baseball team that people that fans like us get wrong? Where it's like you don't understand this part of the job that is more difficult than maybe average fan understands. Because from where we're sitting, being a baseball manager is the best job in the world because you get to just hang out with the boys, make a couple of calls here and there. It feels like a good time. But what is the hardest part that we miss.

Well, that is the best time. I mean, that's what we all love to do, is when that game starts, it's before the game. There's no getting around, especially in the postseason, your obligations to talking to the media. You really don't get as much time with the team as you would like because you got to do the network guys. Fox, they would come in and then, of course, the radio guys, and then you have your local media that had the local radio. And then you got to go in a room and address the national media. So you're running the gauntlet for over an hour, dealing with all your media responsibilities. And so that's the toughest part, I think, because you want to spend time with the guys, you want to get out on the field, which it's early, don't get me wrong. You're getting on the field, but.

There'S.

Not a lot of free time. And so that's one of the toughest things. And the other one, I'll say, is at the end of spring training, spring training could be my favorite time. When it starts, you're getting with the guys, you're having a great time and getting back on the field and just getting to know everybody. The new players at the end of spring training, those last cuts are horrible. They're the worst. I was one of those guys. I know what they're going through. You think about it's a big difference. I know what minimum salary is, 750,000, whatever, versus going down a trip away, making 40 or 50. So it's a tough call for these kids, and I understand it. So that's the worst part of it.

Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. It seems like the media part would be pretty challenging because you got to do an hour worth of media, four different people, and then you have to figure out different ways to say the exact same thing to every person that you talk to.

Right, right.

Yeah.

No, it is, because you do get asked the same question so many times. But hey, it's your job. You understand it. That's part of why we do what we do, I guess. We know it comes with the job because somebody's going to do it, and anytime you can take it off the players, that's our job. And so that's what I try to do.

Hopefully we're the first people to ask you if you get bored. Do you get to eat during games? You ever have, like, a hot dog during a game?

Like I said, it's a grind.

It's a grind. Yeah. Do you get to eat? PFD was wondering if you get to eat during games, do you just sneak one?

I've never eaten during the game. I've seen a couple of managers do. I don't, but no, I tell you what, the food is unbelievable, guys. You guys need to come by a clubhouse. I'll show you. It's like a five star restaurant. How. These guys eat. Now back in when I came up, you got a bowl of chips and maybe a peanut butter jelly sandwich. Now you get four or five chefs in there, shrimp, steak, chicken, all this. It's unbelievable how well these guys eat.

But you trade it all for the coffee with the greenies in it. That's a little different than today. Yeah. I had one last question. Rowback question, rho back. Use promo code, take 20% off your first purchase, qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, everything@rowback.com. Baseball, the sound of baseball is the best. So tell me in your years of being in the game, managing, playing, who had the best sound off the man?

That's a good Garcia. That's pretty good. Seeger, he's right up there, too. When you're hitting coming off the bat, 115 plus. That's good. Now, Sheffield, I coached third when Sheffield was with San Diego. This is back in 93, 94. And oh, my goodness, the sound coming off his bat, it's just different. And those guys, the elite players, you can tell when that ball's hit, who's hitting sometimes.

Yeah.

That's dangerous, too, to be coaching third base when Gary Sheffield, that's the worst.

I'm not the quickest guy either and I'm a big guy, so I'm a pretty good target.

Yeah. As a third base coach, were there ever any situations where a know, rounding second, he's coming at you and you just have no idea whether or not to send him and you just decide, screw it, I'm going to send him. It seems like that's a split second choice.

Yeah. I tell you, there's nothing worse, too. You get a guy throwing about 20 by 20ft. I got to tell you a quick story of Larry Walker. Larry is from Canada, unbelievable instincts in the game, base running and just had a cannon for an arm. He's in right field and base hit the right field and our base runner is coming around and I'm not going to challenge him. I mean, it's like a line drive. One hopper. He knew it. So instead of coming up throwing home, he came up and threw right to third base. Meanwhile, I let the runner come around third base and the ball got there before he even had a chance to start to get back. That's probably my most embarrassing time on the field.

Yeah. Being third base coach, there's a lot of pressure.

First base would be the best.

Yeah.

First base, you take their batting glove from them, pat them on the ass. Nice job, good eye. I like the way you waited for that.

Third base coach. I would suck so bad because I'd be like, well, what if the throw is bad? So I'd send everyone like make them make a throw. Just get all my guys thrown out. But that's why you're the best. So skip, this has been awesome. We'll take you up on it. Maybe when you're in Chicago this summer, you come in the studio. Bring some of the guys. We'd love to meet you in person. And congrats again. Incredible. Four World Series. The last five times you've been in the playoffs, you've won a World Series, four out of five of them, the only time being the Cubs. No big deal. But, yeah, congrats. You're a legend.

I appreciate that, guys. I enjoyed my time here with you, and thanks a lot.

Yes, absolutely. Thanks, Skip.

Bruce Boshi was brought to you by BetterHelp. Part of my take is sponsored by BetterHelp. This time of year can be a lot, and it's natural to feel some sadness or some anxiety about it. But adding something new and positive to your life can counteract some of those feelings. Therapy can be a bright spot amid all the stress, all the change, something to look forward to, to make you feel grounded, and to give you the tools to manage everything going on. I've personally benefited from therapy. I think a lot of you out there could therapy is great if you're thinking of making a change in your life. Therapy is great if you're trying to sort out some conflicting thoughts in your head. If you're having a hard time sleeping, try talking your issues out. It will be very helpful to you. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire. You're going to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find your bright spot this season with BetterHelp.

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Okay, Hank. Let's do it, guys. On chicks. Give it to us. Reading. You're a great reader.

Hey there, lottery ball winner Hank and everyone.

That's bullshit. Yeah.

My husband and I have been married for almost five months. I recently just learned that he records his farts on Snapchat and saves them in his memories to show his other guy friends.

Yep.

I'm a little concerned. I'm now just finding out about this. Is this normal guy behavior?

Do I need to be that's exactly like if you were to do a hierarchy of things that you would want your husband to be posting on Snapchat, this should be number one.

That rules.

I'm in a snapchat group. That's called only farts. Literally.

Can you add me? I don't have snapchat. Can you add me?

Well, that would be no, but if you post anything but a fart in the chat, then you get kicked out of the we should do Twitter spaces where it's just dudes farting where we tap guys in and then they hold it up to their ass and fart.

Wait, Max, next time you get one, can you call me?

I think there's some saved.

I could probably hit me with one. Hit me with one.

I'm pulling it up.

All right. I love it. Only farts.

That fucking rules.

Wait.

Oh.

Also, the guy who sent this is the Kiss guy. That guy does it all.

Yeah. Dual threat. Yep. Kisses, antifarks. What more do you need? All right, next one. Hey, boys.

Go Birds. Our son is seven months old and named James, but nicknamed Jimmer after my husband's great Uncle Jimmer. My husband started calling the baby Jim Ursay a few months ago and now just calls him yep. She responds to we're both fans of the show, but I don't know how much Jim Ursay I don't know much about Jim Ursay other than what you guys talk about. Is it okay to call our firstborn son this? And what should I know about my son's new namesake, Jim Ursay?

Oh, let's not do that.

He's a great guy.

Solid owner.

I think everybody in Indy loves him. The one thing you can say about Jim Ursay is that he successfully avoided hiring Josh McDaniels by taking an hour long shit in his bathroom.

Don't let your kid drive. That would be the but yeah, you're screwed. Once a nickname comes, it's there. Although I feel like the nickname there's, like, waves to, like it's obviously what your parents call you, but then you'll get a nickname maybe in elementary school, and then maybe get another one in college, so you can just ride it out and maybe it will be something different. But Ursa is a great nickname.

It is a really good nickname. Yeah. What's the whale's name? Tokate.

Tokate. You could switch up to tokate tokate.

The Beautiful orca Rip.

Hey, boys.

Congrats on the new office.

Thanks.

My boyfriend is a big Steelers fan and is looking forward to them playing the Browns this Sunday day. However, I need him to pick me up at the airport a little over an hour drive. My flight lands at 03:45 p.m.. Should I let him wash the whole game, or should he be a loving boyfriend and pick me up from the airport, since we know the Steelers aren't really that good?

Wait, Uber? Whoa. The Steelers have a good record.

They said that they're flying into an airport that's over an hour drive away.

It's probably, like, a Pittsburgh, West Virginia situation.

There's an airport in I know.

No, I'm saying, like, they might live in West Virginia. Like, Pittsburgh Airport is an hour away from a lot of where people live.

That's true. That's a long drive. That is Uber drive.

Uber. Also, would Jake like to apologize for saying that the Raiders beat the Steelers?

Yeah, I screwed that up. Okay. I apologize.

I just got a tweet.

That's the only reason I think it was, like, eight tweets from the same guy.

People are pretty crazy about that stuff. If you mess up one, that's why.

I always try to follow up later, and then they listen through the whole show and they're like, Whoops. Yeah.

It's all right. I get, like, apologize. It's a good morning when I wake up and I don't have, like, 100 Tweets about something I fucked up.

I think the only good way to compromise on this guy's, on chicks, would be if he drove to the airport and then you drove him back from the airport so he could watch on his phone.

Yeah, but then driving the airport is in the middle of the game.

That's the part that he doesn't want to do. He get there super early.

Yeah, yeah. He could go to the bar, let him get drunk at the airport bar.

Then he can't drive.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right, last one.

Hey.

Big Coffee. The Duke of James Madison. Mr. Gomez. Best in the office. Maxipad, my fiance, likes to listen to sad breakup songs as he works out. I asked him about it, and he said it makes him work out harder because of the pain and passion felt in the songs. Is this normal?

No.

Do other guys do this?

No. That's kind of weird.

Unless you just he's got some broke.

Up, deep seated shit. Maybe he's listened to sad breakup songs to scare him into getting into such good shape that he'll never get and broken up with.

Yeah.

That's weird. I think there's, like, a grace period, like, after a breakup where it's, like, appropriate, but I don't think it's weird.

To just all the time popping those on all the time. Yeah.

He should be a normal guy and play Fort Minor.

Yeah.

Fort Minor.

Fucking rocks. I feel like he might be ready to break up with you.

Or in love with his ex.

Yes. That's bingo. Hank got it. Hank knows. Hank got it. That's real. That's not fake.

Probably.

Yeah, probably. Who knows?

Up to you to determine.

Did you really get the lottery ball? We don't know.

I did.

No, that could be fake.

My reality.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That could be fake.

Yeah, in my reality. You didn't get it.

Yeah. You never got it. That's an illusion question everything, right? It's an illusion question. Everything. All right, let's wrap up numbers.

18.

I'll go 71. You got me three? Yeah, in my reality, I have.

I'll go eight.

Shane. Ten. Pug.

37.

Pug. Memes.

What do you have? Three mac.

71. 29 59.

Love you guys.

Are you saying memes? You got a complaint? No worry about Zach Wilson. I don't know what to say. I'm saying anyway.

Today is an update to find you. Shine away I'm coming for your love of day shine away I'm coming for.

Your lover never be don't wait say after me it's a better to be safe and tell me say after me it's a better to be safe and tell me things that say every little I just explain that weather is you all think I've got to remember shine away I'll be coming for you anyway shine away I was coming for anyway I wanna be take on me take on me close.