Chris Berman In Studio, NFL Season Recap With Jerry O'Connell + A Recap Of Hank's Standup Performance
Pardon My Take- 920 views
- 7 Feb 2024
Day 2 In Vegas and we start the show with our friend Jerry O'Connell and a recap of the 2023 NFL Season (00:00:00-00:34:31). Hot Seat/Cool Throne and a bonus Jerry poem for Max (00:34:31-00:52:47). Chris Berman joins us in studio to talk about the Super Bowl, career memories, what makes sports so great and more (00:52:47-02:00:25). We finish with a recap of Hank and Meme's comedy night (02:00:25-02:19:47).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon music.
The reviews are in for McDonald's hotter juicier burgers. Let's hear what Hamburglar has to say. What our old friend Hamburglar said is the patties are juicier. The bun is a thing of beauty. The cheese perfectly melted.
Bravo.
My burger dreams have come true. You heard them, folks. These are McDonald's best burgers ever.
Brahl available at most restaurants in this area. Comparison of McDonald's classic burgers to prior burgers.
On today's part of my take, we have a very special guest, Chris Berman in studio the Schwam. It's a Super bowl tradition. Every single Super bowl week we have the schwam on. There's the three years running. We also have an even more special guest. Jerry O'Connell is sitting in Hank's seat to start the show. So how it's going to work is J-O-C is here in place of Hank. Some may say he wally Pip. Ever heard of him? Jerry O'Connell might take Hank's spot.
Way to compete, Hank.
He's going to do hot seat cool throne with us. Then we're going to get to Chris Berman. And after the show, we'll have Hank on to recap his night of comedy. So you'll get it all in the entire episode. And we're brought to you by our friends at supercuts. Want a free haircut after this year's big game? If the big game's final score meets or beats 75 points, you could win a free haircut at supercuts. Why 75? Because Supercuts has been cutting America's hair since 1975. And 75 just so happens to be the highest ever score of the big game. So we're looking for the over on the Supercuts high score of 75 points. Head to supercutshighscore.com to register. Read the terms and conditions and for eligibility. That's supercutshiscore.com. To register today. Supercutshighscore.com. Go right now. Supercuts. I got my haircut on Saturday. I look great. My beard trimmed. Everything was supercuts. So we're rooting for 75 points or more, and then you can get a free haircut from supercuts. So go to supercutshighscore.com to register. Read the terms and condition and for eligibility. That's supercutshighscore.com to register today. Okay, let's go, boy.
Now in the street there is violence and then a lot of work to be done no place to hang out or washing and then I can't name all on the sun oh, no we gonna rock down to electric I renew and then we'll take it higher oh, we gonna rock down to electric part.
Of my take isn't about Marshall sports.
Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, February 7. And Hank, you look different.
Yeah, I'm just working. Let me try some of my material. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Climate change.
Climate change who?
I'm kidding. I'm not real, so I'm not really here.
That is Jerry O'Connell, by the way.
Oh, no, it's still Hank.
Hank, what do you think about your Patriots offseason?
I think it was good to hire coach Mayo internally. I think that's going to be good. Don't know what we're going to do in the QB position. I think Mac Jones is a little bitch. Hey, what is the deal with. Just tell me the background of he a, because he seems to me to be a really wealthy kid. Is he one of these wealthy?
McCorkle. Is that what it is?
His name? McCorkle?
Is that his name?
His name is McCorkle.
So his name is not Mac Jones.
Is his middle name McCorkle?
I think his first name is McCorkle.
I'm looking it up.
Michael McCorkle. Mac Jones.
I'm sorry to get right into it about the Patriots, but I do want to say the NFL is better when the Patriots are about this. I'm not kidding. Think about this season and how exciting it's been, how many ups and downs, especially in the AFC. The Broncos were in it for a second. The Texans were in it for a second. Jacksonville looked good. I mean, there was a lot of teams in play. And when the Patriots aren't in play, it's just more fun.
It's wide open.
It's just wide open. But Matt.
Well, it's not really because it's the Chiefs.
I thought for a second the Chiefs weren't going to make it. I listened to you all religiously. I think you would all agree with me.
Yeah, they flipped my switch, though.
We might have steered you wrong on that.
Man.
I put a couple futures on the Jaguars. I didn't put them on the Broncos. I almost did when they went through their little run. I mean, of course, I seem to bet with this podcast for some that's never.
Yeah, we're the poster boys for gamble responsibly.
Well, betting is so funny. Because when you hear people talking about something, it just gets in your head.
You're like, that was a good point.
Yeah.
These guys know what they're talking about.
Jerry, I love your jacket. It's awesome. I love any sort of, like, super bowl or NFL themed merchandise. It looks awesome. I think you just got it, because I think they sold that downstairs.
I did. I just got. Actually, I've been in Vegas now for a couple of days. I actually hit it big in Keno. Had a huge score. How much? I mean, a lot of money. But not only did I buy this, let me show you the back of this jacket too, if you're watching on YouTube, okay.
You don't get to hear a lot rumble.
Yeah. Wow.
That's nice.
You just wanted to show off your ass.
No, I didn't. Only stop there. If you look at my pants, I actually bought a lot of clothes. I had so much money. Look at who makes these pants, big cat.
Oh, who makes these pants? That's the Bellagio makes those.
You got hotel pants.
The Bellagio makes those pants. He's getting up close. So for people who are like, hey, why is Jerry sitting in Hank's seat? This show, we have the schwam as the interview Chris Berman. Hank is getting ready. Hank has been a diva all day. He's basically been like, don't talk to me. I don't want to do anything.
That's just normal Hank.
Yeah, he's getting ready for his show. So we figured our good friend Jerry O'Connell will sit in Hank's seat for the start of the show. At the end of the show, we'll talk to Hank about how the comedy night went. But we have J-O-C. You have your briefcase. Should I ask what's in the briefcase this time?
Oh, yeah, I brought my briefcase. You guys were kind enough to allow me to manage your high stakes fantasy team.
How'd that go, Joe?
Darren Waller. No matter what, we never back on that.
We had a terrible year, and I wanted to take this time with you to tell you some things I learned from this season, and maybe you could find it in your hearts to allow me to manage your team again. You don't have to give an answer today, but just open the briefcase.
Okay.
It's a Quentin Tarantino movie.
Oh, he's got sheets.
Yeah, I made some.
He also, Jerry gave me an Etcedron that was wrapped in a napkin.
Toilet paper, actually.
Toilet paper?
Yeah.
So that's just true friendship, right?
Yeah.
Are you sure that was an et cetera? It looks like you're a mule.
Cut with a little.
You have way too many.
Cut with a little fentanyl. No, I'll make it fast.
I realize. Wait, hold on, hold on. Let me see this one thing.
Okay.
Patriots none ever. Mac Jones seems like such a little bitch. NFL is better when the Patriots lose. It's more exciting, way more story. So you already did the Patriots?
I already did my Patriots. You know what? I'm just going to give you some things I learned.
Jerry O'Connell recap.
Jerry O'Connell's 2023 season recap.
So let's start with the AFC east.
Okay?
Which was such an exciting division when I came on your show in August, I said, don't draft any dolphins at all.
How'd that work?
Well, that was a mistake because fantasy, you basically score points from offense. And their offense was incredible. Incredible as I've seen in my lifetime, actually.
Did their running backs score any touchdowns this year?
I believe Mostert led the league. I think he had something like 21 touchdowns. So that was a mistake. I think I specifically said, stay away from Mostert. That was a mistake. So I've actually changed my tune. All the Dolphins next season. If I were to be your manager, all the Dolphins.
What do you mean, if you are? You have a lifetime contract.
Let's make him earn it back.
No.
You know what? You know what? I'm going to fire you right now, Jerry, and getting your job back is contingent on how this goes.
This is what it feels like to be Coach Siriani. Sorry, Max. Oh, I have a question. Is Coach McDaniels annoying?
Yes. Josh McDaniels.
No. McDaniel. Michael.
Yeah, Michael McDaniels. Not annoying. I don't think he's annoying.
No, not annoying. If they don't win next year.
Yes.
Annoying.
You don't think the kulot pants are.
Like a little like you're wearing bellagio pants?
That's true. You can judge the sunglasses all the time. Is a little bit much for me.
Yeah.
The reading glasses that you don't need.
Okay. Bills. The buffalo Bills were staying in the AFC east. All of.
Yep.
Okay. Yeah.
Single one of them.
Stefan Diggs.
Is this your preview and your post?
Well, no, this is what I'm going to do if you do choose.
Okay.
Got it.
What happens in August when you come back?
I'm going to have some revisions. If I make it back. The jets. Absolutely none of them. It's a good franchise ever again. Not even Bries hall because memes knows Izzy's going to vulture all those touches pats. None of them. Mac Jones is silently annoying. I just can't draft any. Let's move on to the AFC west. I can't draft any chiefs. I just can't. Do I. They. And I think it's funny. Jake actually brought this up in his good natured, annoying way where he said that dynasties are good for the annoying of him. It made me think, like, he was talking about how the Patriots helped basically built barstool. But they're so annoying, those dynasties.
Yeah, they are. If they're not yours.
Yeah.
If they're yours, then there's nothing better.
Yeah.
So you just got to find a dynasty that's your own.
Yeah, I guess I've never experienced that kind of winning in my life.
You married a supermodel.
Well, I know, but it's still.
I don't know if you've seen. But they're on the rocks.
We're not on the rocks. That's a joke.
I saw a report that said that you guys are on the rocks.
Yeah, I know. I mean, we're constantly fighting with each other, but no lawyers have been called.
Okay.
All right, good. I see the reports.
Isn't every marriage on the rocks?
True. It's built on the rocks.
I mean, it's a nightmare. We're here in Vegas.
We're walking around.
There's a huge convention. Every female convention person that you walk past, like, stares at you with those hungry eyes. Yeah, I'm a hotel room, and they're, like, wearing a lanyard. And you have to keep walking because.
I've seen the way women react around you, Jerry.
Yeah.
They love you.
They love Jerry.
I don't like the Chiefs. They bother me. I don't want to say anything negative about Taylor Swift, but it's unfair that Taylor Swift was basically introduced to the NFL this year.
Yeah.
And she's already in the Super bowl.
In the Super bowl.
In the Super bowl. It's like that.
It's just like, these people need to know. Life doesn't work that way.
She should have dated someone on, like, the Panthers. Yeah, the Panthers go to bank.
I want to see her at bank of America Stadium, week 16, making the heart sign to someone.
I want to see David Tepper pouring a drink on her.
Okay.
Broncos, AFC west. Who is going to be their quarterback next season?
James Winston, maybe.
Interview.
Really good.
Great interview. Good stuff. Little long at times, but, man, really good.
Wow.
That guy can spin a yarn. Good stuff, though. Really good stuff. That was a good one. None of the Raiders.
Okay.
The Raiders are like a talent. They've ruined Devante. They've ruined Josh Jacobs. Look, a lot of O'Connell's in the league now. Love that. My last name is O'Connell, but they're like a talent sponge. None of the Chargers AFC West. I just don't see it happening. It's like buying a dilapidated victorian home. It's like not going to be inhabitable for.
He's horrible.
But you're a Chargers fan and I am a Chargers fan because I don't mean to offend any Chargers fans, but it's like so easy to get tickets there. The parking is way easier.
There's no waiting.
You can wait the whole game and get right out of that parking lot. It's like pretty easy, but not yet. Chargers AFC. A significant thing happened last season and you guys didn't really talk about it. You talked about it a little bit. I'm big on the Bengals. I like them. I love their offense. I love Joe Burrow. I love Joe Mixon. I talked about everybody here, that withholding of the information about the hand thing. I actually bet that game. And I love a moneyline. I love a close money line bet because you get some ods and you're not looking at points. And that to me is like, I try to bet singularly. I think that's the way you win money is that you don't have an exotic, is that you have one bet. And if someone's an underdog by three points, that moneyline bet, that's my jam.
Yeah.
And I took the Bengals that week thinking, oh, well, he's not on the injury report. I know he wore that cast and he was photographed with the tape on his thumb, but it's nothing because it's not on the report. We're now in an age where everyone is gambling. It's legal. It's no longer done with a bookie. This is like money. That man needs to be on that injury report, and I'm sorry to say there needs to be repercussions. And I'm done with the Bengals. Yeah, sorry.
That's the repercussion.
Jerry will no longer draft their players onto his fancy.
Yeah.
The worst fate you could have.
Yeah.
AFC South Jaguars. I'm all in on the Jaguars.
Okay.
All in.
May I ask why?
I don't know.
I just have a feeling they're going know, like the first time I came on your show, I told you I had a thing for the Jags and just, I think they're going to move to London. I just can't wait for english people to be like Nigel, did you hear? The Jaguars are coming. Storied history of the Jaguars. Frederick Taylor, Marcus Brunel.
Great.
Maurice Jones, Drew, sir. Maurice Jones.
Drew.
Blake.
Boss.
Right.
Or will they remain the Jaguars? Or will they become, like, the beef eaters or something?
Beef eaters would be good.
Or the beans.
Red coats.
Beans. Yeah.
The inbred monarchs.
Yeah. Colts, AFC South.
I love the Colts.
All of them. Anthony Richardson's got to protect himself, but love him. Love Michael Pittman.
Yeah.
Jim Ursa is okay. He's on the mend right now. He tweeted a second ago. He's back.
Good.
Shout out to his mama.
Texans.
All the Texans, except that one two punch of single Terry Pierce isn't doing it for me. One two knockout punch. But all the man Collins. Tank man. What a team. Eagles. Max, you ready? All of them, Max. Every single one of them.
You are back.
So fun to watch.
How do you feel about Brazil, Max? The birds are open in the season in Brazil.
I like that they're opening the season because that's just, like, kind of an exciting thing. I don't like that it is counting.
As a home game.
Yeah.
That sucks.
One less game at the.
I mean, you should make a trip down.
Could.
We could work on that.
But think about how many farts that is on an airplane.
A lot of farts on an airplane. And think about all the TFN we're.
Going to be doing.
You might do some BFN in Brazil.
Yeah.
Just with the cheeks.
Just the cheeks, though. Like hot dog and the buns.
Yeah. By the way, I don't mean to generalize in stereotype, but they're known for their asses.
Yeah.
And that's like, a lot of bffing.
There's a lot of bffing going on down there.
That would be so fun. I wonder if Max would never actually want to insert back there. If he'd just be like, I want the friction from the rubbing on your butt. And then a brazilian person would be like, put it in place, Max. Now. Put it in. And Max would be, no, baby.
I want the friction.
This is my thing. This is my thing. I want the friction. Please, Max.
Please put it in.
Put it in now. I want you inside of me. No, I'm not going inside. Start saying that.
Shut up.
No.
Yeah, that's basically it.
That's basically it.
Okay. I'm going to stand up for high school football here. I feel like this is encroaching on their territory.
Right.
Friday night.
That's when the kids play.
That's what they did when they did the Jets Dolphins game on Black Friday. They basically were like, hey, this is coming.
Yeah. Fuck.
Every day the reviews are in for McDonald's hotter juicier burgers. Let's hear what Hamburglar has to say. What our old friend Hamburglar said is the patties are juicier. The bun is a thing of beauty. The cheese perfectly melted. Bravo. My burger dreams have come true. You heard him, folks. These are McDonald's best burgers ever. Bravo. Available at most restaurants in this area. Comparison of McDonald's classic burgers to fryer burgers.
Yeah, Fridays are weird. Also, you have to be careful. And I know as your former fantasy manager, you've got to set lineups for those Friday games. You forget about them and then they get locked in and you're stuck with someone that you don't want. Brandon cooks or something. Jerry, as part of our review process.
For how the season went, what was our final record?
It wasn't good. I stopped watching. I'm so sorry. My name is my name, okay? But I let you down this season. Big time.
Big time.
And the only thing to do is to get back up and start working again, and that's going to take us to the NFC East. Cowboys. Cowboys. Need a second mind. I don't mind Dak Prescott. I don't mind the Cowboys. Tony Pollard was non existent. I think I told all the Awls to draft him. I'm sorry.
He sucked.
He sucked. Why?
Why did he.
You're, when you're the backup, you get those carries after everyone does the hard yards. And then you actually said that. I remember you saying, maybe we don't want him to be the featured back. He also had that knee injury. That probably slowed him down a little bit.
Yeah, it was a bummer of a season for them. I mean, I'm sitting in Hank's chair, so I feel like I got to defend them.
Yeah.
Great defense, though.
I am going to talk about Tiffany Gomez in a second. I'm going to save that, though, because I need to collect my thoughts. Giants, I want to apologize again to the Awls. I told them to waste their fourth round pick on Darren Waller and that was an error.
Darren Waller no matter what. Yep.
Very.
When did you realize you fucked that up? Was it week?
Week? About halfway through week one.
Yeah. Bad.
That was a real error.
And then I bet when DeVito got in, you were like, well, maybe there's going to be connection there. Maybe this is good.
It was a fun story until it wasn't until everything came back down to earth. That was a good interview. Love that interview. That was really good. Sean Stolato, the commanders.
Yeah.
What's going to happen with them?
We're going to be great in like two years. Two years. This year we're going to get a quarterback.
Which one?
We got cliff. Any of the three. Any of the top three. I'm fine.
Interesting.
Yeah.
What happens to Howell?
Who?
I didn't mind Howell.
Howell's probably going to be a great backup.
Probably one of the best backups, actually. We're cornering the backup market. We've got Sam Howell and we got Jacoby Brissette. I think we're set.
Okay. I didn't mind them. I didn't mind them early in the season.
Yep.
Until, like, week four. Like, really early in the season.
Just need to see if you guys rehire me. I just need to see what's going to happen NFC west. Why do the 49 ers bore me so why are they so boring? Yeah, it doesn't make sense.
No, it makes no sense.
They're fun.
They really are.
Yeah. You don't like running the football?
It's just like, what do you want? Like 20 points from all your players? Starters every week? Is that what you want? I don't know. I'm so bored. Hey, you know what? By the way, there's another. I don't want to make this about celebrity football couples, but there's a pretty famous football couple on the 49 ers. You know, Olivia Copo, beautiful woman, and Christian McCaffrey, arguably the best player in the league. The best player in the league. Nobody really talks about them. I'm telling you, there's a boredom that happens with the 49 ers. And I know I've talked about the guy I work with who always gets in my face, and he's just a volatile man. He's just a tattooed, volatile man who just always says to me, and the niners just had one of those seasons this year. He's always like, yeah, you like the Niners? Right again. Steamrolling.
Yeah.
Nothing.
Yeah.
The packers didn't even put a scare into us. For a second there I thought, but look at us. Niners punch you in the mouth football. It's just so I can't draft them. They're too boring. It's 20 points every week. 20 points every week.
Yeah.
That sucks.
Let's talk about the Seahawks. Is Pennics going to be their quarterback? That'd be cool.
Are you thinking just because he went to.
Hold on a second. You guys know better than I do because you have fast Internet, but who's the new Seahawks offensive? Oh, I think it is someone from the Washington Huskies. Please look it up.
Jake. Jake.
They just hired Steve Belichick as their defensive coordinator.
Offensive coordinator. Jake. Waiting on Jake.
Jake.
Jake. Jake. Come on, Jake.
Can't get it. This is sad.
What?
Killing me, man. You're fucking killing me.
They might be doing interviews because he just got hired last week.
Okay, maybe they're doing interviews.
I don't think they've hired anyone yet.
Okay, I'm sorry, Jake. I apologize. Don't apologize. I did you wrong. Get mad, Jake. Say I had no right to do. Say that. You had no right to do that, Jerry. Say it. Just get mad, Jake.
You had no right to do that, Jerry.
Jake.
Mean it.
You had no right to do that. It's pretty good, even faker.
Oh, I love the Rams. You know why? Because they don't score 20 points every week. They sometimes score like. Sometimes Stafford is like, 40 points, and then some weeks nothing. It's so fun. The Cardinals. I got to tell you something. Sometimes I'm not allowed to watch football in my house because my family's there and they watch reality tv on Sundays. There's a show called 90 day fiance that comes on Sundays that my wife and my children watch. And so it's like a tuner, one tuner that you have to use in our house. So I've been listening to some NFL games this season, like on the Sirius XM app.
Yeah.
And it is interesting listening to a game. And we. One week we streamed Kyler Murray because we had Joe Burrow, and that didn't work out well. And then I think we had to start Kyler Murray in our league. And I listened to a Cardinals game the entire game. I was doing, like, yard work, and I was really thinking to myself, I had an edible, so I was a little out of it, but I thought to myself, am I the only person in the world? Listen, it was like, week 16:00 a.m.. I, the only person in the world listening to this Cardinals radio telecast.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, you might have been. Well, I want to go back. You're only able to watch one show on all the tvs.
For a second there. We have, like, a directv thing, and we were only allowed to watch on one tuner, but we've fixed that since then. One of our tuners was out.
Okay.
Dave Pash, voice of the Cardinals. He does ESPN, too. He's really good. So you enjoyed?
Yeah, no, his voice sounded great. He did a great job.
But I comments that you don't have to take from Jake. Just so you know, we don't care about the announcer of the Cardinals radio broadcast.
You know, Dave, don't ever fucking interrupt me again.
There it is.
I'm not actually not joking. Don't interrupt me when I'm on, like a roll. When I'm on a bit like, don't interrupt me.
Okay?
If Hank is in the middle of his comedy act today, and he's like, knock, knock. Knock, knock. Say it, Jake. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Don't fucking interrupt me.
I'm kidding.
No, let me do a Hank joke. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Epstein.
Epstein who?
I was murdered.
Great joke.
I like it.
Jerry.
Sorry.
I'm kidding. Jake, we fucking love you. Calm down. By the way, you're making me into a mean person. I'm not a bully. You're turning me into one.
Yeah.
You did this to yourself, Jake.
Yeah.
And the NFC south, absolutely no one, not one player.
Love that.
I'm not doing it.
Strongest argument, guys.
That's it.
That's my pitch. Think about it. That's all I got for you.
Yeah. All right.
Strong me culpa.
Jerry, how are you feeling about the Super bowl? Before we do hot seat, cool throne, do you like the Chiefs or the 49 ers?
You know, I had a pretty terrible year betting on games this year. As I told you, I bet on the Bengals right before Joe Burrows hand fell off, and I had a future on Baltimore because I listened to this podcast, and you somehow fucking got into my brain.
Yeah, that's my bad.
And I think I was really rooting against Taylor Swift. I just kept betting against Taylor Swift. I was like, you need to learn failure. Like, very talented woman, beautiful woman. I've met her. Wonderful. Like a presence. Like a presence. Like a force. But life is just like a shit show. It's just one let down after another.
Shouldn't be that easy.
Life isn't this. Not that it shouldn't be this easy. It isn't this easy. It's a nightmare. Life is a nightmare. And the most traumatic thing to happen to Taylor Swift, I guess, is Kanye saying beyonce deserved this. Is that really that traumatic? It's kind of a cool story. Like, if you're like, oh, my gosh, Taylor, tell the time that yay came on stage. I'm just in a bad mood, and I have no idea who's going to win this game, so I'm not going to bet on it. I'm just going to watch it.
Okay? Enjoy it.
Are you allowed to watch the entire game?
I think I am. It's funny. My wife, former supermodel. Look it up.
Yep.
Look it up. Jake.
When I look her up, though, it says that your marriage is on the rock.
Okay.
It's not true. My wife doesn't like football. Doesn't like the sound of the NFL.
Rebecca Roman O'Connell.
Yeah. She doesn't have the. O'Connell. She only took the Stamos and then dropped it. And then I actually took the stamos. I'm Jerry O'Connell.
Jerry Ostamos.
I tried to take it.
I'm looking at pictures of her.
Yeah.
No, yeah. She's supermodel.
But the only to look her up, the only time I've really. I was watching. Oh, man, I wish Hank was here. Too bad he's. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
J Sixers.
J Sixers who?
We were just peaceful protesting.
That's good.
Yeah.
But the only Super Bowl I really watched from beginning to end with my wife was that Patriots Falcons game. And it was really funny. My wife wasn't watching it. My wife was shopping online. My wife wasn't watching it. And it's so funny, in the fourth quarter. I can't believe that I was hate watching it, because I wanted to see the Patriots lose, and I couldn't believe what was happening. And my wife looked up from, I don't know, wayfair or whatever fucking pillow she was buying. Another fucking pillow.
Oh, God.
Let's go to Brazil, Max.
Let's go.
Yes, boys.
Trip.
Let's go to Brazil, Max.
Actually, that'd be a fun trip. Jerry and Max do Brazil. Yeah, that'd be a great trip.
That'd be a great trip.
But my wife looked up and went, are the Patriots going to win this game? Are you watching this? And my wife was like, they were down 28 to three. Are they going to come back and win this game? And that was the last sort of, like, happy moment we had with each other.
Yeah.
Sounds like she knows ball. Would she like to manage her fantasy team?
I would be open.
Oh, God.
It's so annoying. My wife is from northern California, so all the time now, she's like, bang, bang, niner gang. It's so stupid.
God.
That's another annoying thing about Niners fans. My wife has, like, niners gear, and she wears it, and people on the street are always like, bang, bang.
Is this why you hate the Niners?
Is it because it makes your wife happy?
It reminds him of his wife.
Yeah.
No, I like my significant other to be. I like everyone to be happy. I don't know. This season was a letdown. I let you down as a fantasy owner. Fantasy manager. No, you're the owners. I'm the manager. I hope you find it in your heart to Siriani. Me?
Yeah.
Bring in some good coordinators. How about that?
I tend to work by myself. I mean, that's who I tend to work with. And Jake, I'm sorry I jumped on you like that. No, I'm sorry for interrupting, but just think about it.
Yeah. Okay.
Who's sorry between Jerry and Jake? They're both so polite.
Yeah.
I mean, only one of us will lose sleep about.
So. Yeah.
Before we get into hot seat, before.
We do hot seat, cool throne, there was a fun story that Jake sent to us a couple months ago about Jerry and an awl, this podcast. So, Jerry, you found an awl's dog. You saved a.
Uh. Man, this is going to really impress everybody here. I have five dogs. Oh, they're all rescues. Adopt, don't shop. Hell, yeah. We do not feed them regular kibble. We only feed them farmers dog. Farmer's dog. It's so great. They come in the bags, you open them. They love it. They love it. Farmer's dog is just good stuff. But I was running my two younger ones, who are kind of crazy, and I got to run them around, and there was a beautiful golden retriever sitting by themselves in the middle of the street. Just sitting there in my neighborhood, no leash, sitting there. And my dogs went crazy because it's like a rogue dog. And my dogs went over to this dog and they immediately became friendly. And it's so funny. Dogs like to run in packs. It's like being an awl. You want to get in a pack. I mean, I'm running around the MGM here. We're all high fiving each other, taking selfies and stuff. I had the briefcase down there. People wanted photos of me in the briefcase. And I got the dog. And it's difficult having a dog without a leash. So I was, like, holding this dog, and I texted the number.
There was a number on there. And I texted the number and I said, hey, I got a beautiful golden retriever here.
Is this your dog?
I think I sent a photo and I said, my name is Jerry O'Connell. I'm in the neighborhood. Your dog's fine. I can hang out here for a little bit. And I immediately got a text back saying I fucking drafted Darren Waller. And there was very little gratitude for me standing with a dog. And at first I was angry, but again, they're right. A lot of people rely on me for their fantasy. Facts, picks, facts, strategies, draft strategies. And again, much like I talked about earlier, money is involved, typically. And I felt bad about that. So, yeah, it's just funny how my season last season as your fantasy manager is still following me, but the dog was okay and we sort of had a laugh about it.
You're a hero.
Yeah, I don't know if I'm a hero.
No, you're a hero.
Thank you for your service.
I know. Come on with my billy.
Come on.
All right, let's do hot sea. Cool throne. Hot seat cool Throne. Brought to you by Coors Light. Hanging with friends and family to watch the big game is the best. But as the game heats up, it can get intense. That's why Cores Light has the signature ice cold refreshment. Keep you feeling chill for the big game. Stock up on cores Light and choose chill. You might even remember an iconic beer train that is known for spreading good vibes and Coors light to those who need it. After twelve years on hiatus, Cores Light's beer train is coming out of retirement for the big game. We're going to be cracking open a Coors light, listening to the sweet tones of love train. So when it's time for a refresh, just open a core's light. We love cores light. It's the coldest beer in the world. It's the best beer in the world. That's just a fact. There's only one beer out there that's for the chillest big game and that's Coors light. Stock up or get Coors light delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing company, Golden, Colorado, coorslite.com take.
All right, so Jerry, you are sitting in Hank seat. Do you want to go first? Or we can go first and then come back around to you.
You guys go first.
Okay.
All right, we'll start with Jake. We'll come around. All right, Jake, your hot seat. Cool throne.
My hot seat is MetLife Stadium.
Yeah.
It was recently announced that the very cursed stadium in the NFL world will be hosting the 2026 World cup final.
Yes.
However, I believe they're switching it to grass.
Correct.
They are, but it's still cursed.
Yeah.
FIFA is making them switch to grass. FIFA is also not calling them by the name MetLife Stadium. It's just New York, New Jersey. Which made me realize we don't ever have to call these stadiums by their.
Corporate names if we don't want to be giants.
And it's always field.
Yeah.
To me, it's not acresure, but, yeah.
Staples center.
Yeah.
Crypto.
What is that even. Is crypto even a thing?
Yeah, not anymore.
Yeah.
I'm surprised. Were you upset that you didn't get involved in the FTX? Is that kind of just a level of your celebrity? You weren't there yet.
You know, it's funny, just getting back to the whole waking up with fear, angry at the world thing. I remember when it was all happening, I was like, man, why am I not on this level, by the way? They were, like, getting paid in owners. They were getting paid not only in currency, in a currency they were getting paid in. Like, it would be like getting paid in a banking system. And I remember feeling, what's the word? Jealousy, envy, anger. And, man, I was so happy when they all got sued. It was so exciting, like, yeah, pay up, Brady. Matt Damon, you duped us. Know, it would be like telling people to draft, like, Darren Waller in the fourth.
Exactly.
And people believing.
All right, your cool throne.
My cool throne is Lions general manager Brad Holmes. So he had his, I think it was his end of year press conference, and he just roasted the media about their old takes exposed. I don't know if you guys saw any of these quotes.
No.
But he told someone, you wanted us to pick a quarterback. You didn't want us to pick Penny Sewell. I know you said that was a miss. I give probably two people in this room credit for admitting they were wrong, so he just lashed out.
I like this.
Media should be held accountable when we're wrong. You tell us we're enemies of the people because we're not scared to tell you that you suck, so you should tell us when we're wrong.
Tell the media when they suck.
Yeah, if we're wrong.
Tweeted us, we're wrong, go after us.
I don't think you should do that. I just think you have to act above.
No, I disagree.
We're also very petty, so there's a reason why we're not.
But honestly, one could say that the Eagles downfall began when someone pretty high up in their coaching organization were yelling at fans in Arrowhead Stadium, which is like, it's know.
Yeah, I see what you're saying.
True.
But he's probably holding that in. In the heat of the moment.
That would be a great speech to give if they won the.
Yeah, yeah.
But they like. Yeah, you gotta wait. You gotta hold that one.
Pft, your hot seat, cool throne.
My hot seat is Drake. Yeah, Drake's on the hot seat. Jerry, have you seen the Internet today?
I have not, no.
All right, so Drake, international superstar, top of his game, I think, most number one singles of all time. He was jacking off and the video came out. I'll put it this way. His penis won't be getting any NFL head coaching opportunities because it's too large and it's.
Oh, it's too.
Yeah, he's got a big dick.
Yeah.
Huge dick.
God, what a bummer. It's so much better to hear, like, you guys were, like, filming a commercial and you stole glances at each other's dicks and they weren't big.
Yeah, no, we're not like Drake, unfortunately, Drake. I actually think my conspiracy theory brain tells me that Drake leaked this himself because it's a good know.
And he's got a big dick.
And he's got a big dick.
Yeah.
So if, like, my respect for Drake increased to that.
Really?
What a bummer.
Yeah, it's really big. Bummer.
Yeah.
They don't make butts big enough in.
Brazil for his, though.
Just cranking it.
Yeah.
Hot dog in the bun.
Just cranking it. My cool throne is chinese spy pigeons. Chinese spy pigeons are on the cool throne. There was a pigeon that was imprisoned. It got arrested in India, and it was held in jail for eight months because they thought it was a chinese spy pigeon. They saw that it had these two metal rings on its leg, and the metal rings had chinese writing on it. And I guess the Chinese have used spy pigeons before. So they imprisoned. Much like Brittany Greiner, they imprisoned this pigeon in India for a long time. They conducted a thorough review of the situation. They found out it was a taiwanese racing pigeon, which apparently is a thing that you can bet on, which sounds awesome. And these pigeons can make professional athlete salaries. Like, these pigeons are some of the richest athletes in the world. And so they determined it was a racing pigeon. They released it. Now it's in a hospital recuperating from its stay in indian prison.
That rule.
But it's a good story. I don't know the name. I want to find out what the name of this pigeon is. But, yeah, they did a deep and proper inquiry and investigation. They did not find any fact associated with spying and the pigeon? It was released last week, and it is in fine health, according to the hospital. So a good story with a good ninja.
They should have had a pigeon exchange with, like, a war crimes pigeon.
A chinese warlord gets returned from India.
For the other pigeon. And then they pass each other on the tarmac like bridges.
Spies.
Yeah, that would rock.
All right, I got two hot seats. One is, I guess, cable. No, cable might be on the cool throne. ESPN, Fox and Warner Brothers are all combining. So we just have cable again.
Yeah.
So into another. Like it's for sports, right?
Yeah.
So I guess maybe the hot seat is just us forever believing that we were going to not end up back at cable.
Yeah.
So let me just ask this. So Fox Sports and ESPN, because I know they are the same company.
It's Fox, Warner Brothers.
And so is there going to be. I know there's a Fox Sports and an ESPN, but I know they're both owned by Disney. Are they going to be one channel?
I think they're teaming up for like.
An app for a streaming.
All right.
Yeah.
So I don't know. It's stupid. Just let me watch all the sports. I don't care. Yeah, stop with the shit. Just tell me where to watch ESPN.
Warner Brothers and Fox are launching a new sports streaming service combining each company's sports rights.
Yeah.
Which I like for one reason, though, because going back and forth between ESPN and Fox Sports on your phone or tablet on a college football Saturday sucks. It sucks ass. So I'm very glad about this.
All right. Then my other hot seat, pFt, alluded to it, Mike Vrabel, for being too big. Incredible Pulitzer prize winning journalist Diana Rossini, who only reports facts, scoops.
Rossini is what they're calling her.
Yep.
She said that she had a GM at the senior bowl who mentioned to me Vrable's physical build, that he's a very large human being and can be very intimidating to people in an organization that are going to be part of these decisions. And that is a mean, you have to understand if you're a football owner, large human beings, you don't want to be around them.
No. Will they be able to communicate effectively with other large human beings?
Yeah.
You want a nerd? You want a tiny little nerd. I do like the idea, though, of owners just being intimidated by big people.
Yeah.
Just like I don't want to deal with this guy. He could kick my ass.
Yeah.
Variable is he is a large human being. And then my cool throne is Andy Reid, who is not going to retire.
Wow.
He had noted small guy, successful football Reid.
Yeah. They did a big article about him on ESPN where it was all just football guy quotes, where he said he'll spend a couple hours a day on football, whether he's watching video or drawing up plays for possible inclusion in the playbook. He said, I enjoy doing that. Some people read novels. I look at plays. They interviewed Dave Tob, special teams coach. He said football is his hobby. This is all he does. I'm trying to get Andy to play golf. I'm trying to get him to go hunting. He just won't do it. Andy Reid also has a bucket list that he won't reveal. But he said, there are things you want to do. I try to chip away at them. There's nothing huge. I went to Italy last summer. Good eating. I ate my way from the north to the south. And then Patrick Holmes said, other than spending time with his grandkids, he doesn't do any of that stuff. He's all about football and cheeseburgers.
I have to get my hands on this bucket list from Reid. I got to know.
It's just eating in different countries.
Yeah, eating my way through different countries.
I went to this country. I'm going to eat some more.
My prediction, they win the Super bowl, he probably goes to France.
Yeah.
Eats his way through France.
Eats his way through France. All right, Jerry, finish us off.
Hot seat.
Cool throne.
Hot seat.
Cool throne.
My hot seat is Hank.
Okay.
Tonight is doing comedy, and I want to say I've really been thinking about him. He's been in my thoughts and as well. Well, I know that Hank went and did the comedy store or something in Chicago. Laugh factory. Sorry. I know those are two different teams. And I really hope that he. Because he could go up and he could be quite effective if he tells his story of barstool.
I think that's what he's going to.
Do, because that, to me, is what we want to hear. By the way, I already got the pay per view. I'm already getting it.
Jake, give it a ppv.
Well, this is coming out.
Watch. You can still buy it.
Yeah, you can still get it. Look, there's no linear viewing anymore or whatever they call it. I know you're talking about the ESPN Fox Sports app, but whatever. I hope he just tells his story. Fucking Max with the yawn when I'm talking. Are you boring you, Max, you're bored the fuck? Huge, loud yawn. I'd rather you farting in fucking 33. Max.
Max, were you worried that your behavior on a plane was so abhorrent that Hank was going to come put a hole in your wall?
No, I was not worried about.
Good. I'm good. I'm good. Max.
I'm a fucking guest. And you yawn loudly in the middle of me telling my hot seat.
And now what he did was he passed it to me. I'm about to yawn.
Oh, man. Who are you? Hank. And my cool throne is Hank.
Okay.
I have such an intense attraction to am. I'm obsessed with her. I'm obsessed. And I'm going to tell you why. I've thought about it. I follow her on social media, and I don't slip into dms.
That's a very non horny way of saying, I follow her on Instagram, by the way.
Follow her on Instagram. But I even leave comments, like, looking good, girl. URL. Like, gurl. Like, go, mavs. I'm not even a Mavs fan. She's, like, always in a jersey. She's always going to sporting events. She's beautiful. Her hair is perfect. I think the thing I'm most attracted to is that there's a real mental issue there that I don't know if it's drug induced. Those people are fucking real. I see those like, hank put a hole in her wall. And if I did that in my house, if I went up to a wall in my house and ran my knee in there, I'm not allowed to put a cup of water on a table without using a coaster. If there's a water ring there, I'm not having sex for years. I mean, years. If I wear a pair of shoes in the house and there's, like, a speck of dirt on them.
I'm not.
Touching my wife, like, touching her for years. And here's a woman who is going to cowboys games, and Hank is kicking holes in her wall. And he spent not only the weekend there, he was there till Tuesday.
Wednesday, yeah.
Couldn't fly.
Really? I got to give it to Hank.
It's good work.
It really is good work. Really attracted to her. Look, Tiffany, don't at me. I don't want any. Please, no. No communication. No dms, nothing.
Please respect.
I don't want to go down that road. Can't have a trace of, like, I'm. Hank is in my cool throne for just being in the presence of the most beautiful woman in the world.
Jerry, I just added you to the bonk list.
You're on the bonk list.
Have you closed your eyes and thought about them?
Jerry, be honest.
I want answers. I don't want to get into honestly. I've thought more about Max, TFN and now BF. And that's an image.
Yeah.
That'S an image. I don't have an image of Hank and Tiffany Gomez.
Okay, that's good.
Gomaz.
Gomas. Gomaz.
You got it, right?
Gomaz.
Yeah.
Well, Jerry, thank you as always.
Oh, man, you are the best.
We love you so much.
No rollback question?
No, we already did it with Boomer.
Oh, okay.
Want one?
Well, I mean, I just wrote a couple of things down.
Okay. Yeah.
It'S not arhobacka. How do you spell it? Whatever. Sometimes I write a little poem. I know I let everybody down this season with my fantasy managing. Think about it, guys, think about it. But I wrote a little poem. I like to pick someone out on the staff and just write just a few words for them. And this episode, I chose Max. There's a poem for Max.
Okay.
Love it.
Maxi, Maxi, Maxi. To the man with the beautiful beard and also the beautiful hair. Maxi, Maxi, Maxi. To the man who is really, really good at keeping a balloon up in the air. Maxi Maximaxy. To our friend who is always entertaining. And as for punishments, you are glutton maximaxy. Maxi, our friend whose career defining moment was forgetting to hit the recording button. Way to go, Maxi Maximaxy. Your work here, pardon my take, is nothing short of genius. Maxi, Maxi, Maxi. Whether it's helping the boys with edits or telling them to steal glances at big cat's micro penis. Maxi, maxi, maxi. Your team won a lot of games, your QB threw a lot of darts. Maxi Maximaxy. Asking for a friend, what is the monthly fee for subscribing to only farts? Maxi Maximaxy. When defending your philly fandom, never do you ever refrain. Maxi, Maxi, Maxi. Your vocabulary is verbose even though the only book you've ever read was girl in a train good book. Maxi Maximaxy. Hearing about your titty fucking prowess never ever fails whether you're titty fucking in overalls or titty fucking in pigtails. Titty fucking with stroud titty fucking with golf, titty fucking with devito titty fucking with the bar stool sports store that has 20% off.
Titty fucking on the streams, titty fucking on the show, titty fucking on viva le stool. Titty fucking with an infected toe. Titty fucking in the summer, titty fucking in the fall. Titty fucking in the spring. Titty fucking little you small.
Titty fucking.
With the kelsey's titty fucking with tay tay titty fucking with my homes titty fucking little boy ass Maxie, Maxi, Maxi is the king of titty fucking it all must just go to your head. Titty fucking.
Titty fucking.
Titty fucking titty fucking titty fucking your ex's best friend right in her own bed. Maxi, maxi, maxi. You put up with so much like having to find a sink where big cat can go poo poo. Maxi, Maxi, Maxi. Having to sit through everyone's takes and Jake doing that stupid do it. But Maxi, Maxi, Maxi, we love you on the show. You're the best. You're the man. You are the bomb. Maxi, Maxi, Maxi. We love our angry little philly fan, but remember to watch your mouth or you'll get a text from the mom.
Max Valenti, everybody.
Good job, Jerry.
Incredible. Jerry, we love you so much. You're such a great part of this show. So thank you for stopping by. Thank you for wearing that jacket. Thank you for being you.
We love you.
We love you.
All right, let's kick it to the schwam.
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Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is a Super bowl week tradition, which is actually my favorite thing that this has become a tradition is third year in a row we have the Schwam Chris Berman in our studio this time. I love it. We're not in a hotel in Southbury, which, by the way, you were the most gracious host the last two years, but we wanted to host you this year. So the schwam is here. I mean, it really is a dream for PFT and I to have you be a know every single year tradition having you on this.
Nice to be back. It's nice to be in the house. Not the house that Ruth built, but the house that. Pardon my really an amazing complex. And you fed me lunch. Now you're going to get the better side of me.
Yeah, it is nice.
And I'm proud of you guys.
Yeah. Thank you.
And thanks for being fans of football. I've told you this every time, and somehow along the line, you enjoy the way we give you football.
Yeah, I mean, big cat's right. The secret genius thing that we did at the start was we all got Covid so we couldn't interview you the first time. We wanted to. So then we had to reschedule making you a Super bowl week guest and then doing it two years in a row. Now it's like you have to do every single year.
This is a binding. It's a binding offer I can't refuse. Here's the thing. I know it's not going to run till, but the day we're taping it, of course. Remember we had this last year?
Yes.
It's the second, which is Groundhog Day, which is to bring that back.
Yes, of course.
Why wouldn't we do it today?
Yeah.
He didn't see his shadow.
Right.
So we're getting early spring.
Oh, yeah. You know what? Was there a book on that? I don't know.
Yeah, I'm sure you could pass.
Well, half the country hasn't seen the sun in ten days anyway.
Right.
That was an easy under.
Yes.
We got to do. We got to go back and look throughout history when the groundhog does not see a shadow, is that good for the underdog in the Super bowl?
Yeah.
Correlate.
There's got to be a correlation there.
Yeah.
We'll have our best guys look it up.
We can find what they used to have this member, not till recently that it would be after Groundhog's day.
Yeah.
To go that far back.
That's true.
Yeah, that's true.
Easy research.
Yes.
Easy research. So the schwam, you're here. We want to talk Super bowl. We want to talk everything. So let's start with Super Bowl. I was rooting so hard for the Schwami Super bowl. We were yet again, like I thought, the Bills, we were believers. You have the Niners there, but we come that close again. But Chiefs Niners. Initial thoughts?
Well, I looked at going into the season before anybody played a game, they were two of the three favorites, if you will. Right. So the fact that however they got there, we'll start with the Niners. The fact that they're there is not a surprise. Now we can get into them a little bit because neither of their playoff wins were, quote, great. But the keyword in that sentence is right. So. And they came from behind, which, especially the Lions game, however they did it, shouldn't have gambled. They did it.
Right.
So kudos to them. The Chiefs have gone the polar route.
Okay.
They went from the favorites and I know them quite well. And usually Andy Reid's teams or most teams that go somewhere are rolling around Thanksgiving or early December since the season goes longer. I think it was Christmas Day they lost to the Raiders, but it was like they kind of assumed that they were going to be them. We're going to score 40 points, maybe 33. We drop a few, but we'll be all right. We better realize right now what we're not and what we are, but we're good enough to win with what we are. That's to Andy, that's to Patrick Mahomes, that's to Steve Spagnolo, that's to anybody you mentioned. I don't want to say swallow your pride because this was late in the year. So the Chiefs that make. All right, I'll let you ask the next question.
No, but you're right.
But the Chiefs that made the Super bowl are not the Chiefs you expected to make the Super bowl.
Correct.
But having watched them win in Buffalo and Miami was -15 they were going to win that, I think. Right. But they still held them to seven, although I don't know how they were going to score a lot of points.
Right.
But to win in Buffalo and to win at Baltimore with really low scoring, 17 went on the road, a championship game where you've never gone. But they're at ease with who they are. But it took them to Christmas to go, we ain't going anywhere for like that. So it's just interesting the route that they've taken.
Yeah, they are. And we've made the analogy many times. I think everyone in media has. But it is the new age Patriots in that you have these seasons where it's like, oh, because even in the Patriots, like the seven season, they don't win the Super bowl. That's the best team they ever had, 18 and all that. But those years when it's like, oh, is Tom Brady too old? Is Bill Belichick lost it and they stumble a little early and then it comes to December and January and they find a way. And that's what the Chiefs are doing. They're finding ways. So here's my question, though, because it's great because you have seen all this football. You are a football historian. If Patrick Mahomes wins his Super bowl, where is he in terms of the Montana Brady? Because it feels like he's inching closer and closer at a very young age.
He's already in that discussion, although he would be the first to tell you. Well, I have one, too, but I would love to sort of answer your question. He's this age's Brady or this generation or this decades. Brady Montana. And then you want to put in Johnny United. But he did.
Yeah.
Correct. He's already there because the potential is he 28, 28 years old. I still think of him as 22 and 23. Met him. There's something about him. See, it's funny. Now, I went out and interviewed him a couple of weeks ago, and one of the things I told him, and this is how, you know, he's, I said, you know that Tom's early Super Bowls when they won three out of four years, by the way, they were not the stars. Now, Tom Brady drives end of game vinatary field goal, et cetera. But it was defense. So the Carolina game with it. But they were more defense in one, three, four and running, especially in four. They had Dylan. I said, you know, that that wasn't the high flying Tom that you probably have watched. He goes, actually, I've studied those games and I see how Tom was. And then obviously the 17 came loss with 50, 25 touchdowns. Whatever. Then if the last one they won was 13 to three.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, three, three in the fourth quarter. I think it was tied with the Rams.
So bet the over in that game.
I did. Why do we remember the ones, you remember the ones that are like so bad, so bad. But we were just talking Denver and Seattle. We never remember the ones that were geniuses.
No.
But anyway, back to that. He goes, and I've studied the way Tom altered his game several times. I wasn't fishing for that answer.
Right.
I just wanted to make the point that I lived. Those patriots, they were a defensive team. Name the players. Right. The McGinnis and Teddy Brusky and Big Ted Washington and Ty law at the corner. We could go on and on and on, brave a little later on, et cetera. He goes, I studied. I go, okay, so you've actually gone back and watched maybe 20 years ago patriots to see how the goat, if you will, did it. Fascinating to me.
Yeah, that's great.
Yeah, it's interesting to see how they've done it. And I feel like we watched that Ravens game last week and everybody thought the same thing, which is, why are you giving your running back six carries against the Chiefs defense? Why don't you run the ball down their throat? I feel like, and going back to that Christmas day game, I'm pretty sure that's how the Raiders beat them. I think they just ran the ball at him. I think they're just like, you can't stop the run. I think that bodes well for the Niners and their ground game. Could Christian McCaffrey. I feel like the creative stuff they do with the run game, it's beautiful to watch Kyle Shanahan's system, isn't it? Like, you watch him run the ball and you're like, this is beautiful football. And I feel like that's what they're going to lean into. That's going to be their strength. And the weakness of the Chiefs defense, I think, is stopping the run. I mean, Chris Jones is great, but I think that's going to be the game plan. So that might be a good thing for your 49 ers.
No, can be. Buffalo ran for a while, but then Cook had a big first, right? I mean, he had a pretty good game in the playoffs. You're right about it being beautiful because anyone that thinks they can, okay, if Debo, which he is now, right, they're all healthy, right? That flow, but it's not okay. This is kind of the plays they. He changes it up and of course Debo and McCaffrey, but especially Debo. But McCaffrey is unbelievable. I mean, he runs like a guy almost Derek Henry size. Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
I mean, not, but. So their yak with the running game, let alone in the passing game, is formidable. The Chiefs, though, actually, John Harbaugh gave me an interesting thought because he good friends with Spaggs. They worked together at Philly. He had them in Baltimore for a little bit. They stayed close in this group. I said, is there any tendency you can get on Spags'defenses before the game? He goes, he meant this as an ultimate compliment, which is going into your Shanahan comment. He's a Rolodex approach. I went, what do you mean? Well, there's so much in that Rolodex that if I start to. He didn't say this start to. Okay, so when it's third and eight, they always bring three guys. I'm making it up. No, there's not. And I think with Kyle, it's fascinating. It is beautiful to watch.
I give you for is.
It is. They have all stars at so many.
Places and they're so physical, too. You've got Debo and watching kittle block those two guys, they get incorporated in the run game and they bring them in motion to give them head starts on block. Just. It's beautiful to watch it develop it like you think of old school football. You run the ball. You run the ball up the middle, up the middle, up the middle. It feels like a passing game in their rushing attack, like buried deep inside of. And it's been awesome to watch. And I'm also rooting for Trent Williams to get a Super Bowl.
I think he's a great player.
He's been such a good player for such a long time. I'd like to see him get was.
On all the reiterations of the Washington teams, right. They called him. He probably was on the Boston Redskins where they moved. Right.
So who do we have nickname wise.
In this, you know? Well, the best is. And John lynch loves this. When I do it for Debo, I mean, I've resurrected what I used to use for Lido shepherd.
Okay.
But it's the lido shuffle by boss gags. Debo.
Whoa.
And if he takes it to the house, the part of that song is one more for the road. My singing. Pardon my take. Pardon my singing. So I used to use that, remember Lido Shepard? But I moved it up here. I like so of that. See Mahomes, he's so good. I mean, when he first came in, I kind of used. Mahomes is where my heart is. But he's so good now that it's like you don't.
But this is important. Like, you see the hat I'm wearing right now. Someone says the 49 ers versus the Chargers Super bowl. The first thing that comes to my mind, nature on means business. That's it. That's what I think of.
Who else was on that team? Chargers.
Yeah.
Eric sleeping with.
That's know you think of the classic games. It's like the nicknames just pop in your head.
I think those. Well, now let's go back to my hosts, one of your most genius, if that's correctly phrased and you know the backstory, but your viewers and listeners don't know it. When you last year had I want to rock and roll all night and purdy every day genius. Everyone knows the song. You're not quoting some song. What song is that? No, we've all heard that, even whether you like kiss or not. And then we were ready to go in the championship game and of course he got hurt right away and forget it. Right. Not his fault. I had it on my fastest 3 minutes. You guys know this because we called you.
Yeah.
I'm going to give you boys a big shout out. A big viewership. Aaron Rodgers, who knew that carrying the flag was the highlight of the year, but the jets opening up, blah, blah, blah, buffalo. And that was at halftime. But then when Aaron got hurt, I got cut. Yes, I know. Even the fastest 3 minutes got cut. News where I get it. And then there were a couple of games that I could only use a play or two in these things. And then midseason I had Josh Krulowitz our pras call you and go tune in. It's on. So I give you guys a big atta boy, because that was genius.
I mean, it was an honor. I tagged in every single tweet.
Like, he did it.
He did it.
The ultimate.
Well, we were ready. Made my time.
Yeah.
Made my season.
I didn't realize that. That's funny that you were ready to go opening night and then Rogers. No, I don't think, Josh, I might.
Not have, because opening week. Oh, my God, that's so funny. Yeah, it's on a cutting room floor somewhere.
Yeah.
I remember when we had our good friend Booger on. We were trying to get him to tell you to use that. Trying to get you, like, an inception style. Like, hey, mention this one to boom. Mention this one to boom. And we were talking earlier about Booger and how your relationship has grown with him. Booger is a great co host for you guys. He does a fantastic job, and it's not an easy job that you guys have to do. You were saying you have to just sit down and then boom, he gets 20 seconds per highlight clip. It's like, give us something good that we can work with. But how has your relationship with him grown? Like, did you know day one, me and Booger, we can do this?
Well, I had met him a little bit with Tampa a little. So I knew of him before he even became on our SEC network and everything. And then they put him. I was a fan of his when they put him in that impossible position. The booger mobile. Yeah, he had a smile, but it wasn't just like show. It was like he was seeing things where the old camera used to be when I was younger, on the cart in the front and blocking the view of the fans. He's come up with some good stuff, but he has nobody. John Madden wouldn't have had a shot. Okay, just to put it in perspective. So then when we resurrected primetime for ESPN plus, which I think we talked about before, which was, we can't do it on regular tv. We can for the championship and the Super bowl, which we will right after the trophy. So don't go to sleep yet. Tune in. But not you. Yeah, if you don't ever. Tommy. We got Tommy back. Tom Jackson is. Come on.
Yeah.
Who's better? Tommy. One of my best friends to this day. We talk every week or two. Football and life and stuff. That was a blast working with him. But then he goes, boom, that's it. I came back. The one year I'm done, and then who's going to do it and a couple of recommendations in house and very strongly recommended Booger. I said, my only question for him, not me, is, is there a stigma to the public? And it'll probably go away quickly. But though, the booger mobile, that means he doesn't know what he's talking about, which would be completely false, but a legitimate question to ask. I said, I'll put that into your park. No, we think he's great as this. I said, let's go. Because he's upbeat. He loved football. He was good at it. Won two rings, which doesn't necessarily make you smarter than anyone else, but you got with two different teams, played with Peyton's last year with the Colts on that great bucks defense. With four hall of Famers from the defense.
Yeah.
And we hit it off right away because he's not out to be. I don't want to say the star. I'm the star. I don't mean that. He's not out to say things. Everybody will see that.
Yeah. Right.
That's not what that show is. And he's got something. Sometimes I'm a little behind on highlights. I mean, nobody's perfect. He might have had a little ten second thing that we were going to talk about, but I'm behind. I got to go to the next play, sit there and sulk and go, well, I was the only chance to get in the way. Trent Williams is blocking, for example. Right?
Yeah.
He's got something. No matter what I ask him, he's a joy. Tommy 2.0.
Yeah.
And it helped.
Incredible.
It helps.
His name's Booger, too.
Yeah.
Boomer and Booger.
Yeah. Perfect.
You just change one letter. It's not really that hard. Vanna White could do it, by the way.
Jake looked it up. Since 2000, when Phil does not see his shadow, the favorites are four and two against and also the not shadow. He usually sees his shadow when he.
Shadow means you got winter.
No, not shadow.
Spring.
Spring. So that's what happened this time, which are four and two. So if you want to go with that trend. And he went and looked it up. He did a great job.
Shout out, Jake.
So maybe we.
Maybe.
Maybe it's the. Already. I've already said I'm done betting against my homes. I've lost four futures in the last welcome years. It's over.
Library.
Yeah.
I can't do.
Can't.
It's like you get to a point with Saban or Belichick, you bet on a game and you have an outcome where it's like you win or lose. But when you bet on a game against Saban or Belichick, you can lose and also feel really stupid because you.
Bet against Saban or Belichick, they didn't go 100%.
But that's how you feel. And that's where Mahomes is now, where it's like, okay, I'd rather lose with Mahomes than lose going against Mahomes. And everyone says, how do you not bet on Mahomes?
Well, he's an underdog again. I know, I know a pointer, the two as we. But they're actually, I've reminded myself they were getting one or two last year, which was a great Super bowl with the Eagles, but they've been an underdog on the road of Buffalo and Baltimore. So here's the thing with him, to your point, I mean, when Tom Brady got the ball, I mean, I'm not just pointing to 28 to three, obviously, right? You felt you had a chance, right? Unless you're down 28 to three with 2 minutes to go. Unlikely. Okay. Don't you feel good if you're on Mahomes and the game is good? Down ten, 5 minutes to go, not necessarily feeling good because that means niners are playing really good defense.
How about down ten with 8 minutes ago against the San Francisco 49 ers in the Super bowl? That happened in Mahomes.
Or how about down?
That literally happened.
How about down with 13 seconds, right? Not ten. Yeah, but three.
Yeah.
I'm not saying a niner play is dumb because they have all stars at every level we went through. The offense didn't even mention use check or Ayuk.
Or third in Juwan. That's what they call him. Juan Jenner, they call him third in Juwan.
There you go. Yeah, you do. And by the way, Brock Purdy, he runs pretty good. In case nobody knows.
Right?
In case that's a little element. And then defensively, when I'm getting back to it, Nick Bosa's second half, I'm not saying where were you? I mean, he's double and triple, but we didn't see him wreck a game like a TJ wilder like Garrett did for two thirds of the season with Cleveland, et cetera. I'm not knocking Nick, but when is? And we got it in the second half. Now, is that what you see in the Super bowl? Because when he's like that and Armstead and Chase Young has not looked good there. But that's not to say in 60 minutes there, it's a four man rush. Not that nobody rushes four. But they always can rely. They don't have to bring because they get pressure of like five when it's four when they're like that. Now, the Chiefs offensive line is maybe the most underrated.
Agreed.
Playoffs. They've been playing great even though Toonie's out.
Yeah.
And like, yeah.
Patrick Mahomes, the first time he got sacked in the playoffs, second half against Baltimore. It's crazy. Like they, they really are very underrated. And that is the thing that I just can't give the Chiefs enough credit because Mahomes is Mahomes. But the conscious decision they made when they're like, all right, Tyree, kill, you're going to go to Miami and we're going to invest in the offensive line and we're going to get young on the defense because this guy Mahomes gives us a shot no matter who's catching balls. And those guys have gotten a lot better. But it's proven this year they're in the Super bowl. And what was the story all year? They got no wide receivers. Now you see Rashee Rice. That's how you build a team around a player like Mahomes.
Well, yeah, they took it to the limit a little bit, but, you know, in watching them against Baltimore, by the way, Rice is now, and of course flowers, so that they kind of, they had better offensive weapons than Baltimore did, certainly in the passing game. And they were dropping stuff left and right like it was. Who can catch? Pacheco can catch on a screen. Little McKinnon, who's hurt, can catch screens. He was a good receiver, but that's not your. Until Rashid Rice, well, he had a nice year all the way, but certain things. That's why Kelsey didn't get open for six weeks. I know, but all of a sudden, if Rice is working, Kelsey can get open even if they's hammered at the know and he knows they've been doing it his whole scantling. Caught big ball at the end and he caught two the week. And he's one of the more popular guys on the team. So they're like, yeah, the team is fired up for him. But that being said, so the one little curveball on the Niners sounds like I'm all this way. I'm not, because that Rush can negate a lot of things.
And Warner and Greenlaw are outstanding. Know their dbs. They had a lot of interceptions at the end of the year, Ward said, a really former chief. But if you look stats, which doesn't.
Tell the whole story, no, never do.
Teams have made hay here and there. I don't mean made hay with the secondary, but that's where they go.
No, you're right. Especially Green Bay. Green Bay kind of exploited them a little bit, and that was a game that the Niners could have very easily lost. But, yeah. Ambry Thomas. Is that his name?
Ambry Thomas?
Yeah, Ambry Thomas.
Specifically him. He's had some very shaky games, and so that makes me a little bit nervous. But I do feel like Andy Reid is in love with throwing the football. I don't think he's ever going to be a guy that hands the ball off 25, 30 times a game. But Pacheco is good enough, especially in playoff weather, where Reed thinks about it now, he's like, maybe the Ravens game.
I think it was like 2024.
Maybe I should give Pacheco the ball a little bit more, which I like from Andy, again, being able to adapt a little bit, because if there's one guy I thought would never adapt to something like that, it would be Andy Reed. Like going back to the Brian Westbrook days and all that stuff. But it seems to me like they've got a running game that you have to account for, which is a little bit different for the Chiefs.
Yeah, well, but where did Andy, where was he as an offensive lineman? So even though he's a passing guru, and I call him the grandson of Bill Walsh. Okay. Because Bill Walsh was, to me, Bill Walsh. Okay. Mike Holmgren is the direct descendant. We might have discussed this once. Direct descendant. Other people ran the west coast, but you know what? Oh, ten of us are running the west coast. Andy Reed was with Mike for those ten years, almost ten years in Green Bay. And kind of, that's the direct line. So, yes, he's passing, but he also was an offensive lineman, so he's gone back to his roots. And if he didn't this year late, I don't think they'd be playing in this game. Back to one thing on chiefs that I don't know the public has understood. Of course you understand it. We're seeing whether they win or lose. We know what the numbers are, but four out of five in the Super bowl and D four doesn't step over there. They would have been in that one, in it, beaten the Patriots, but he did. So the only ones that have gone four and five years to appear, Buffalo, needless to say.
Right. And New England latter. New England, 1416, 1718. So they were three and one in those. This doesn't happen, especially now when you're losing. Tyree kill. Yeah, well, no, they don't. So whether you want the Chiefs to win, you guys to win or lose, or you wanted the Niners, whatever, appreciate that this doesn't happen. And if we get a repeat champ, it's been 19 years.
Yeah.
Now I'm 68. Okay. Now, before that, it was once a decade.
Right.
The packers, when they started the Super bowl and then the Steelers twice, and then the Niners, which I lived then, obviously the Cowboys. And then the Patriots.
Broncos.
Broncos. My bad. My bad.
Yeah.
So that was more often. I didn't mean to admit, lway at the end, that was unbelievable. And they knocked out the Packers.
Broncos have been going through it the last five years.
No, my bad.
Yeah.
Shannon and McCaffrey on that.
But after. Yeah. Three, four. So it's 19 years. So if it doesn't happen this year and whoever wins has a chance to repeat next year. I get it. 19 plus 68 is 87.
Yeah.
I might not see another one I kind of wouldn't mind seeing.
Yeah.
No, you're right, though. It is crazy to think that it would happen every decade. You'd get a repeat. And it's been a long time.
Now, to the credit, they've been in championship game. They've had a chance, to their credit, these same five.
Right. Right.
And if Brock Purdy doesn't get hurt, I think they probably kill the Eagles.
Might have, maybe. I think you're getting a free cheesesteak in Philly now.
Our producer Max is a big Eagles fan, and he's not here today, but he is rooting very hard against the Niners because he doesn't want his NFC championship last year to be negated. It's the most ridiculous fandom thing.
He's from Philly, right?
Yeah.
I love them. Andy Reid was there and I was tight, but Philly.
Yeah.
No, they're great in any fan base, and I say this with full applaud. Blinders are.
Yeah.
College guys on my dorm. Like, do you not know that there's a team other than the flyers of the NHL?
Yeah.
It's in the 70s. No. My God.
Yeah.
It's the best, though. It is the best.
So great. They are hyper focused on their teams and they don't really tolerate you if you lose.
Yeah.
I mean, Nick Seriati went to a Super bowl and they wanted him fired this year.
Yeah.
Very quick.
That was it.
Right.
And here's TSA line leaving Phoenix last year. A couple of Philly fans. Hey, great game. You're standing online with perfect strangers for 45 minutes, so might as well they know who I am. They're all at the game, right? I said your quarterback played great. Just making conversations. Yeah, but that fumble. Yes, the fumble. It was big, but he played great. Compliment, but it was like, you fumble. I don't know. Have a good flight.
We're going to get back to Boomer in a second. Before we do, he's brought to you by Chevy. The Chevy Silverado has commanding and unstoppable grit. He's got legendary capability and dependability, too. We've all spent time, seat time, as they call it in the biz, behind the wheel of a Silverado. We're not just truck guys, we're Chevy truck guys. I'm a Chevy owner. I'm proud to say that I am. Love my Chevy. You know about the ZR two family of trucks. They're lifted, ready for anything right from the factory. Now Silverado is taking it to the next level with even more Silverado truck tech like available supercruise only super cruise lets you drive hands free and tow hands free on more than 400,000 miles of compatible roads with over 138,000,000 miles of handsfree. Driving by customer supercruise will help you get to your adventure energized, and it will help drive you home. Go to Chevy.com, where you can check out Silverado. Build your own Silverado online and learn important details about supercruise. And now, here's more.
Chris Berman so this 42 42 straight Super Bowls is your 42nd Super Bowl.
I started with the Niners. First one at Super Bowl 16. Okay, silver dome, that's 42. Yeah, I missed one at full leg cast once upon a time. Yeah, I missed the packers winning with so 41.
Yeah. 41st Super Bowl. I mean, that's incredible. Just in itself.
I am lucky to be in that position. Yeah, ESPN, like we discussed. Who knew? You guys started the show eight years ago. Yeah, we have a dream or a vision or this, and then we got some backing, but, yeah, now, look, you said we just pick up basketball, and I walked on the court and I thought I was in like an NBA court. Yeah, I have to pinch myself now that you say that. I do think of it when I go, I still remember the first one, like, oh, my God, I'm at the Super bowl. You're a kid. I'm really in my. You've met the game that we all in this show loves. And those that listen and watch, they love, they get to go to that and really be down there and feel and touch it and interview the players and the coaches and make some observations that maybe are okay or just maybe like, whoa, be like a fan.
Yeah, it's incredible because that's and what you just described, I think is why people are drawn to you and football and how you tell the game. Because I think that boyhood wonder if you lose it. That's the problem. I know myself and I think I'm speaking for PFT. Like, the fact that you're here right now. I want to pinch myself. And so having that, though, be like, whoa, this is pretty damn cool that we get to do this for a living. If you lose that, then you probably lose your fans.
Well, you're acting. Yeah, you're probably acting to continue. Not one's acting. If your biggest calling card is a fan. Everyone's a fan who does sports. Bobbly totally different than me. Complete respect. But you wouldn't say fan. He likes it, but he's report. But if you're a fan, like you guys obviously are, and you're still doing your shows and you're kind of losing it a little, the fandom, it's going to seep through a little bit. Yeah, those are watching carefully, not that they're looking for it.
No, it's true. I didn't go to sleep last night because Wisconsin blew a 17 point lead at Nebraska. And I said, I'm going to sleep at 10:00 and then at 1130, I was like, just kidding. I'm not asleep. I'm still mad.
I still got it.
I would actually say that I've gotten to be a bigger fan since we started doing the show.
Really?
Because you pay attention more now. It's like, okay, we watch every second of every game.
Yeah.
And it's actually just making us. I don't know. That's the way that I feel. I do, too. I hear more about it now.
And it's also like, people ride with you. People give you shit when your team loses. So it's like the stakes have gotten higher for us at times. That's true. It used to suck to lose, but at least it's like, all right, I'll just go to work the next day and not have to deal with, well, now it's like I lose. I have Nebraska basketball doing memes in my face and I'm like, well, this hurts. And everyone just talks.
That was why you had to hang out there.
It's also like, if you lose, I know that there's a lot of people, a lot of sickos that listen to the show that like to hear us when we're in pain. And granted, that's what this is. Sometimes it's like, okay, you listen to this podcast, sometimes hearing misery is more fun than hearing joy if you're not experiencing that joy. And so now every time I have a chance to experience joy, it's like you get that me against the world mentality a little bit where you're like, okay, all right, let's see if we can do this. And also, I'm thinking out loud here, but the fact that now Dan Snyder is no longer the owner of the commanders means that I can actually full on invest in the team. So I think I can definitely say that I'm way more of a fan now than I was eight years ago. And it's kind of cool.
Yeah, because you're dialed.
Yes.
Because your job makes you dialed in a little bit more. But you haven't lost the reason you dialed in in the first place, right? No, look, and to do it the other way. Look, you're doing me a favor. Not that nobody knows who I don't get on tv, so that people know who I am. I mean, if you do that, then again, that won't work after a while, but you're bringing different age group who they see me. But fact that you give me an atta boy, it's good for me, too. Thank you.
I would say that you and John Madden are probably the two biggest football influences of my life. You mentioned him earlier. I assume that you got to hang out with him.
Not hang, but we're friendly, of course.
Yeah.
Not because ABC, it's not like I rode on the bus or anything like that, but he made it the most. He was a guy that coached and won Super Bowls and coached against Noel and Shula. And you think of the AFC in those days and my God, just the AFC, let alone, okay, now you're in the Super bowl against Bud Grant or whatever, but to make it understandable to everybody, but to be a football coach. We're announcers. Okay? We're speaking. We're not coming from looking at film at 11:00 p.m. Looking for that one little thing and then trying to articulate it to people that aren't really football fans.
Right.
That's how great John was. And he just a basic guy. He never changed. I was lucky to know him. I didn't hang out with him so much. Not because I didn't want mean.
Listen, I know that people are probably like, you guys are all just jerking each other off right now, but I wanted to go back to just a point about how having you on the younger audience, but that to me is like a no brainer because you were our guy when we were growing up and hopefully someday when we're 68 years old, there's a new show that's like, oh, we want these guys on, these old guys on. And we listen to you when you're growing up.
You're already sowing those seeds.
No, but it's the truth. It's like you were watching countdown and watching it was just the best.
Well, here's the thing on Primetime and then we'll get off cut. You said we're doing this to each other. Nobody wants to listen. No, there might be. Okay, but the thing is, I'll listen back to it. Primetime for the younger, the real younger. You only got three games on tv on a man. I know that sounds neanderthal.
It's crazy. And there was no yellow line.
I think about that all the time. By the way, with the Eagles, I thought nine yards, they should have put a green line.
Yeah, that's a good point.
The brotherly shove line, because that's all they need to get to. Although Bucks got an aside that summed up their season. They didn't get it against the Bucks and they got tackled for a safety. And there you go, we're done. But primetime. So Seattle 48, Arizona 45 in 2000, even 2005, we don't see anything except when they cut in at halftime. We saw the one bomb to whoever was playing at the time. Well, here's 5 minutes on prime time. So if you liked football, not because it was me, not because it was Tommy, I'd watch the show as long as it was well done. Highlight wise music, you don't need the music, but it's fun. And the fact that maybe we added made some football fans along the way. But there are eleven games you never saw.
Yeah.
So now it's hard for anybody to understand that.
And even, yeah, like five, six. I remember I had Ladanian Tomlinson on my fantasy team, won every single game and I'd be like, well, now I just want to watch and see all the. I know he scored four touchdowns. Let me watch. Boom. Show me the four touchdowns.
Right.
Because the Chargers relive.
It'd be awesome.
It was fun. Here's another little bit of research that I stumbled on for this game. Mark Franklin was cut. My swami's the last. Well, I don't do that anymore, but he still cuts my faster 3 minutes. He does a great job. So we're walking out after we did the Pro bowl. It's on this week, and I did the great Pro bowl plays of the year. But whatever. He goes, you know, we're talking about the election. I'm picking aside real quick, this is midnight or 11:00 Sunday night. He goes, Chiefs, niners was the Super bowl before the last Biden, Trump. This is not a democratic republican conversation at all.
Yeah.
And chief Steiners is before the next one, presumed.
Yeah.
I'm an american history major. Doesn't make me an expert.
But.
He goes, I wonder if there was anything else? And off the top of my head, I said, well, the only one that I can think of, let's go. Championship games, because Super bowl, forget it. I knew right away. I said, FDr beat Adelaide Stevenson, not FDr. Jimmy Eisenhower beat Adelaide Stevenson twice. Stevenson did not cover in either of those. Okay. But that was 52 and 56. So the next morning, I looked up in my white book, I went, 1951 and 1955. Not that this is like, kind of minutiae, but the La Rams played the Cleveland Browns, Norm Van Brocklin against Oto Graham both times, although Bob Waterfield started for the Ram, both at the La Coliseum, 80,000 people. So it wasn't like, eh. Yeah, they split. Now, I don't know that that tells us anything about election, the Super bowl, but 51 and 55, LA Rams, Cleveland Browns. This is a bit of information. I like it. Your show could use. It doesn't predict anything. Me like the punks of Tony Phil. I don't know. I just took the time to look it up and was fun.
I like it. Yeah.
Was there any other ones?
No.
And when you say when you looked it up in the white book, do.
You just have a book?
It was the old NFL book, not the Internet.
You could do that. Just.
I know where to go.
In the white book, I think it was even like, well, I needed the 50, so I was in my basement. I don't think I had the book from, like five years ago.
I love it.
I know where to go. It takes a minute.
Yeah.
Because it's actually. You don't have to scroll.
Yeah, you got it right page out.
It's kind of nice.
Yeah.
I think Wilbon puts it the right way. Getting some ink under your fingernails. Sometimes it's nice to do that, not have to go on your phone or online to do it. You are a historian of the game. Obviously, you've seen a lot of football. You've been around a lot of big games. I think we'd be remiss if we didn't ask you is Taylor Swift good for football?
Absolutely. And I'll tell you why. Because I'm a little oblivious to it. Not oblivious, I get mean. Should the network. You're not asking me. Should they show her every time Travis Kelsey catches the ball? Not necessarily. First of all, I think I've never met her. I think she's legitimate. I'm in my mid 30s, I'm cheering on my guy and I'm having fun at the game. So if you just take it from that part, I think that's legitimate. I do. Maybe you guys don't think so. I think so. I don't think she's there to be. She fills the stadium of 80,000, so it's not, oh, I need to be seen again.
Right?
I think anyone that thinks that's wrong, I don't know that. So only this last week or two, my haircut young lady at the bank. So who's your team? I'm making conversation with one lady. There is a Steelers. I know she likes the Steelers. Whatever. She's young thing, 24. She goes, I never watched football until this year, but I found I really like the game, but I only watching because I want to see what Taylor Swift. So I'll boil it this way and you can go wherever you want with it. It was like I heard it twice in a day. Getting a haircut and in a bank and going, anything that makes somebody a pro football fan from nothing can't be all bad. Yeah, that's fair to say. I mean, you may not agree. What do you guys think? You've talked about it.
I think that's fair. I think that we're getting more of a backlash to her, but it's because the Chiefs keep winning. And if you're a Ravens fan and you're watching the Chiefs and you're losing, you're going to find something about that broadcast that you're going to direct all your anger at and you're going to hate. Right? If that's Tony Romo, Tony Romo hates us. If it's the refs, the refs hate us. If it's a one commercial you don't like, be like, I can't stand this commercial. We've got actually a guy, he's a big Mets and Dolphins fan that works here and he is an expert in that. He'll be watching the Mets game and then Buster only will pop up and you'll be like, buster only hates my team. Boom. Now that's the enemy that I can turn against. So the Chiefs keep beating all these teams. And there's more and more fan bases that have to watch the Chiefs beat their team, and then every time they score, there's Taylor Swift. So I think that's where more of the backlash is coming from. But, I mean, we're watch. We watch football on tv and you have to find something to complain.
Right.
Like, there's always something that you have to. It's not my team's fault. It's this person's fault that it's happening.
Yeah.
Which I get.
I get it. I mean, it's not fair to pin her, like, well, she's doing it to put a kibosh on my team. Obviously. I get it. But I think you're right. If the Chiefs were eight and nine, well, you wouldn't be seeing her now anyway. Yeah, true. And I assume, I have no idea that she's, what, in Tokyo Saturday?
Yes.
She's going to be flying all the.
Way back, flying over. Because remember, that's like 16 hours ahead.
Yeah.
They did the math. I think she gets to land at, like, noon on Super Bowl Sunday in Vegas.
Yeah.
And probably a plane. You can sleep.
Yeah, probably. I would say she's not going.
I don't think it's the Wright brothers. And then what's her next show like, soul on Tuesday night? I don't know. Yeah, that'd be fascinating. Which reminds me of non football, but my favorite times of flight like that.
The.
Start of the century. January 31, 1999. Elton John does a concert in Sydney, I believe, 70,000. He flies to Honolulu, does another New Year's Eve concert in Aloha Stadium with another 50,002 shows the same night. But he flew to the two. That's a good one.
That's pretty cool.
That's pretty cool. There you go.
Yeah, I got a non football question that just popped in my head. Do you still write checks?
Oh, yeah.
I love that Internet.
If I can avoid it, I avoid it. I'm a 20th century guy.
How do you do it?
And I'm a tourist.
You don't do it at the grocery store and stuff like that? Okay.
That would hold up the line.
Yeah, right.
Be considerate of. Especially if you only have, like, eight items.
Right.
Like, in that line. Come on.
But you're ripping checks still every now and then.
Like pizza guy.
Yeah.
You ever read check to the pizza guy?
No, I don't do the check to pay my bills. Yeah, not checks like, here you go.
Old fashioned stamp.
I sit down.
Yeah.
Lick it.
Put it out.
Hey, forever. You can make a good. Well, now they went up again New Year's Day.
What are they at?
I think if you bought the forevers. Don't quote me. Could they be?
Wow, that's way more than.
I mean, I probably had somebody.
So you have the forever stamps.
Well, that's what you buy.
Yeah.
So if you buy 20 books at a time. Well, I don't, but if it's say, ten books at a time, they don't last that long. But if you bought them going out of business sale right before New Year's Day, you save five cents a stamp or whatever.
Yeah.
Try to do that on the stock market.
Yeah, I like it. I'm happy.
No, I didn't pay my bills that way. I don't go to any store with a checkbook.
But you could if you had.
No, you always have a couple in your wallet.
Your wallet actually is looking a little slim.
Well, I realize you can't walk around at that anymore.
I was a little shocked because shouldn't shock anyone. Boom, great tipper. He tipped the car service that brought him here and he pulled out his wallet and I was like, damn, your wallet looks like it went on a diet.
It did go on a diet. It needed to. I mean, there's things flying out of there that cards from like 25 years ago. But that was a while. I weeded that out a while.
Okay.
Bright checks, thinner wallet. I'm catching on. It's only 2024. We've only been a quarter of this century. I'll catch on soon.
Yeah.
I appreciate that about you. You know what you can do, you know what you like to do. You know who you are and you're going to stick with it. And you're a bills fan, amongst other things. And this year, this is painful for the bills. You've seen a lot of bills seasons, a lot of bills heartache. Where would you put the end of this one up against the late 80s, early ninety s. All the stuff they've been through.
Well, they have an unbelievably resilient fan base because they've been, well, there was a time they weren't very good, but I heard from several of them texting right away, like, well, we still got to leave now. It wasn't the Super bowl, but it was wide right. And I know Jim had to say it on primetime. I even lowered my went, I just can't even say this wide right. And then they had asked me, you want us to show the Norwood? No, do not know. We're not showing that. Not right anyway. Yeah, because they came on so another circuitous route like Chiefs six and six. But then they don't lose a game.
Yeah.
And they win the east. They look really good. The good news is for them. So where does it rank? Super Bowls are the Super Bowls. But I mean, did that rank. It's always the Chiefs.
Right.
That 13 second to bring it modern to the current era o them again. So the Chiefs inadvertently to the Buffalo fan have become the Patriots. The one or two times that they could beat Tom Brady in there. Fitz beat him in 2011. There are people like the campers were still in the parking lot on Tuesday. Like people still. Okay. I love it. So the Chiefs, not a division rival before they play because now you're first place. So you're you. Well, you play all the time. And then often in the playoffs, the fact that it was the Chiefs again, twisted knife a little more than we were wide. Right. I'm making it up to the Ravens. Okay. But you got the Super Bowls and you got 13 seconds. But this falls right behind and it's again. We can be another long winter up there.
Yeah.
And I feel for them because they have Josh Allen. They got a good shot. I know the window is not closing on the bills. That's foolish to say now. Will they be able to keep who we think are a lot of their best players, Diggs or others? I don't know. But you guys know top some players or bottom ten players, your roster changes a fourth to a third.
Yeah.
It just does.
Yeah.
The Bills are going to lose a lot of guys, but I think a lot of them are. They got some older guys that are leaving. They'll figure out a way. You're right. If they have Josh, they're going to be in position to win big games.
Yes.
By the way, Scott Norwood from, from.
Well, I forget. Go ahead.
James Madison.
That's right.
I did. Yeah.
Scotty's a. And I know all those just.
They'll get one eventually. You think?
Although you got.
I know Burrow.
Here's Jim Harbaugh.
I know.
Not that that makes them. No, but he's not playing quarterback. But that makes him better.
If Josh Allen was in the NFC, he'd probably have been in a Super bowl by now.
I would think so.
Yeah.
And it's just the Niners are.
Yeah.
Philly had one one year, if you think about.
And the Rams, obviously that was a great year. But it is a lot of circumstance of who you're in the conference.
The AFC, the best quarterbacks in football. Aren't they all there. Yeah, they are. Lamar, we can debate where you put him, but he's certainly capable of wrecking a game. Now, what the Chiefs and how they stopped him or how the Ravens didn't kind of stay the Ravens. I do have one theory on that one. And again, they were only down ten and then seven. They weren't down all year.
I know.
That doesn't mean, oh, we can't possibly come back from seven points. Of course, even Lamar Jackson could run 50 yards, by the way, middle of the third quarter, do you know he was still the second leading receiver on the team, the pens that he caught? Yeah, second leading receiver, crazy. But they hadn't called. I'm not on Monk and I'm not on anything. I don't know. They hadn't been in that position even ten and seven in the middle of the third quarter, which is not panic.
Right.
You can't do that and walk through. I think they led with 4 minutes to go or didn't trail. Is that true?
Yeah.
No, they lost to the Colts in overtime. They lost that game against the Browns, where they're up 14, I believe, in the fourth quarter. And they lost that game to the Steelers, where they dropped every pass and they were up in the second half. So, yeah, you're right. That game, pressure matters. And it actually goes back to the Niners, where they kind of had that as their bugaboo, like, hey, they can kill you, they can step on your throat, but can they come back from behind? And then they've done it twice in the playoffs.
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I ask you guys one question. I'll get your opinion on it, as I'm not sure it's fair to even the Niners were rolling. I know they lost the three, but then they rolled. They crushed a lot of teams, starting with Jacksonville, et cetera, when the Ravens went out there again on Christmas, the same as the Chiefs day, which is kind of an interesting. I don't think. That's not to say they can't win the Super bowl. They haven't looked the same. I know they crushed Washington after that.
But it's Washington, okay.
I mean, they had to have. It was on the road. I get it. They haven't looked like that team we saw from the middle of November to. I'm not making that as a point. So therefore they're not going to. Do you agree? Not bad. But there's something. Not quite.
I agree, but it might actually work in their benefit. You're right, because it might be a situation where they got a little humbled and they know that, like, hey, we can get beat by anyone, anytime. So the packers game, the Lions game. Now, if you tell me that they're down 17 to Mahomes in the Super Bowl, I don't think they're coming back. That's a little different. But they might have a little bit more of a, hey, we can come back from these. We don't have to be just killing a team right away. Maybe. I don't know. No, that's why they play the game.
It's the best.
I think it's been good for Kyle. It's been good for Kyle to see that he can do that because he had the reputation of not being able to play from behind. And now it's the narrative. I think after winning two in a row in the playoffs, that little, I don't know if it's pressure off his back, but he has confidence to know that they could possibly come back.
Right.
And the players have lived it, too, correct?
Yeah.
Because twice now if you're steamrolling everybody, if we're talking about the Niners that we saw earlier this year, where it's the second quarter and the other team is just physically giving up, if you're doing that and then you get behind in the Super bowl, you're like, well, what the hell is going on? How do we do this? This is not supposed to be happening to us. But now it's like, okay, we've been there. We can do it. Actually, I agree with big cat. I think it might be a good thing because they still have all the talent that they had before. It's just, okay, they're not stopping everybody. That's not the worst thing sometimes.
You're right. It's going to be a tight game.
Yeah.
All right, tough question. You mentioned 68. You've been doing this for a very long time. When your time does pass, you say, I'm retiring officially. What do you want the fans to remember? Chris Berman for? Very tough question.
I'll spell my name correctly. We'll start with that. That I, meaning the fan. I enjoyed getting my football or my sports from him and his station not so much as me. No one's going to really remember the first ten years by that time. So when we were everyone's underdog, I mean, that was real. That was really cool being an underdog with these guys. And Al Davis said, I love you because you're the underdog.
You told me that.
Typical Al. I mean, it was like 82. You're the underdog. Like that. That's pretty cool. I'd like them to say I really enjoyed watching football or baseball or again, I felt I was with a friend, maybe watching a game or a show or primetime or name any other with him and his station. I felt comfortable doing it. Not so much. Oh, he educated me. People have forgotten more football than I'll ever know. I've seen a lot, but don't ask me what I had for breakfast, right? Although Donnie cooked me a great lunch. Yes, he did. I think it's that simple. Did he come across as a good guy? I'd like to think so, but for the viewer, it's more important. Did we do what we were supposed to do? Did we do it? I want to say pure, but pretty purely, which is not a word. I think that encompasses it, because any deeper than that, I don't know that anybody would take the time to get deeper than that.
Well, pretty deep. Yeah. I think it's really as simple as, did he make sports fun? And the answer is yes. And sports is supposed to be fun. And we've talked about this off air, too. Like, sports is supposed to be fun. That's what we try to always do here. That's what you always did. And it's like, that's what we tune in for. We want to have fun. And it's an escape from everyone's. Everyone's going through shit in their life. We sit down on Sunday, we watch football, we kind of get escape from it. We enjoy it and did they make it fun and you did?
Well, I hope so. That's how I'd like to be remembered, how I'd like our shows to be our station, to be remembered. I mean, people may have opinion of where we are and where we were, and this, I'm not getting there. Yeah, I feel comfortable watching and made it fun. I probably should have come out with that. I had a guy that does some serious surgery. This is like 15 years ago. Tell me what you do is important on Sundays, but.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bob, I've known him. Our kids grew up together with a bob liver transplant. I mean, that kind of stuff. No, what you do is really important. And he stopped me. He goes, yeah, okay, it is. But on Sunday, maybe I can put my head somewhere else, and I'm not the only one and get out of that for. Even if it's 6 hours a week. And maybe it makes me do a better job on Monday for someone who needs it. I went, okay, now I'll allow that answer.
Yeah, no, I mean, you're right, because I always feel when people say that to us, I have the same reaction where I'm like, listen, we're idiots. We're talking about sports. We're not doing anything. But it means something to people. And you have to realize that and realize that it is important, because people need that escape. It's a great compliment to get. It always makes me feel so great when you say that I'm going through a tough time. You guys talking about sports has helped me a little bit, and that's the best feeling in the world.
When I get those, and you guys get like, each one of these gets maybe a million. I mean, at some point, it lives up there for perpetuity, right? Kind of like the stuff in my wallet, right?
Yeah.
I try not to think about a million people.
Well, I read that.
Freak you out.
A million people.
Yeah.
Isn't it fun, like being in one? Because people go, do you ever get nervous going on tv? I went, well, if it's a studio show, I'm looking in a lens. I'm looking at not a particular person, but a friend of mine. Nobody in particular talk with them or to them. Not at them. But we can't think of a million. If I sat and thought there are a million people in that lens, I probably would have cracked up long ago.
Right? Yeah.
Hank and I did a little bit of stand up on Wednesday of this week, and I think there were, like, 800 people. How many people are there?
Yeah, 600.
Live audience.
Live audience. And that, to me, was way more difficult than this.
This.
It's like I'm hanging out with my friends. We're talking ball.
Yeah.
There happens to be a microphone here. I am aware that people listen to it, and we'll say things about that show later on, but seeing the people face to face, it's a different ballgame. So I can't think about a million people listening to this show.
Standing up comedy, that's the toughest.
Yeah, Hank did a great job. He's so funny.
I know, but I wonder, and I pled, you ask a comedian, supposing the audience is a rough one or not, like rough, like necessarily. But your first two or three jokes don't go anywhere.
Yeah.
And you already hear shuffling of the feet. Now what?
Yeah.
You fast forward to the guarantee, but then you got nothing at the end.
Yeah.
There's a few that you know are going to work, but you're working tour and I don't know that anyone had. I forget the exact answer. Yeah, you got to trust yourself in this and that, but just size up the room. What do you think they want to hear? I don't know. What I'm saying is that's ultimate respect when you're.
Or live theater.
Again, that's not a stand up comedy, but. Oh, God, I forgot my line. Yeah, I total respect for that.
Yeah.
Going back to what we were talking about earlier about how the small things and the routine matters to people sometimes. Are you a Warren Zevon fan? I think you are. Oh, yeah. So he had a great line. I think this is when he had mesothelioma and he was on David Letterman show and he said, the thing that has come into perspective for him at this point is enjoy every sandwich, like the small stuff. Like, really dive in and let yourself enjoy the small parts of your routine in life, and that's what's going to be important to you and whatever that is. That's great. So I think about that sometimes. If the mundane tasks every day are like, okay, I'm just going through the motions about something. No, enjoy every single small part. Enjoy every sandwich. So I think about that all the time.
Very good. No, he werewolves of London. I mean, say no more. Matt Blunden was werewolves of Blunden.
Right.
All right. So, boom. This has been incredible. My last question, rowback question. Rho back. Use promo code. Take 20% off your first purchase. Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Best golf stuff. Rowback.com. Rowback.com promo code. Take 20% off, give us the Super bowl score and make it a schwammy.
No.
Okay, coming in today because it's still as we tape. It's like the week where. Okay, I'm not operating on anybody this week, but I said I better come up with a score here. I think the Chiefs repeat. Okay, 23 20.
Okay, that's not a schwarmy. Let's fix that a little.
You want a humorous 25 22? Okay.
Okay.
But let me give you a reason. I did pick a couple of three to two games.
Yeah, I know.
And I did have a 75 72 score.
I mean, I remember the 23 20.
Is what you'll probably read if I ever have to write something for ESPN? What have you?
The first time I ever realized what gambling was, when I saw that little arrow pointed, I was like, why is that? The team lost. Why do they have the arrow?
Educating our youth, corrupting our youth.
They cover the spread.
Okay, well, 25 22. But the only reason I'm not an over under player at all, I never have been, although I was cognizant. But if I was a score, right, and that would be, what is it, like, 47?
Yeah, 47 and a half.
She can't do 25 22. Although you can. I never worried about that. That meant I had no opinion on that, which sometimes you don't have an opinion. All right, so, like, you want someone to win the Super bowl square with some bizarre numbers. Yes, I get it.
Okay.
20, 218. 18.
Oh, I like that.
You could kick a lot of field goals.
You could get to 18.
Two point conversions. Safety.
If you go, touchdown.
15 and three, I could see a.
Touchdown field goal, and then that team's behind, and they're behind by 14 points. They score a touchdown, they go for two, they get it, 18. Then they never get the ball back.
Yeah, right.
I like it.
20, 218.
That's better.
I mean, at 23, 20, but it's the same ballpark. I have them winning, although my niner roots and my niner fans will go, why? But it's homes. And I'd like to see a repeat champ. And I just hope people recognize what they're pretty. These are the Patriots, more like. I don't want to say more likable. It sounds stupid, but to a lot of the folks, maybe that's part of the Taylor Swift question. Oh, I don't like the Chiefs. They're beating my team. But more likable is not fair to say because I love those teams. I know them all. But if you have a problem watching him play quarterback, you have a problem watching football.
That's true.
By the way. You don't have to root for him. Yeah, but don't appreciate green. He does. No, stop it. So now you watch the Niners run their offense like they can. That's pretty cool, too. So two classic franchises with Chiefs recently and the Niners all time. 20, 218. You got me out.
I like that. I love it.
By the way, I should go back to the original because there's a reason, and you'll like this, why I called you Lagrange Shaw and you were Le Rock hunter. Because that's when Andres Gallaraga played in Montreal. He was the big cat. And here we're looking at one and we're looking at the commenter. Well, La Grande Sha, when he played for the Expos, that's what they called him. He did know. And Le Rock Ontur is a storyteller. And the reason I bring up the French, because you guys are golf fans. We had a guy from France win last week at San Diego.
Yep.
And for football, Les Alouette won the big upset, big upset of the bomber blue. They beat Winnipeg. So it's fitting this year to do a little mercy to you guys for having me in here. Quite a digs you got.
Yeah.
Well, thank you. It's our favorite tradition. Can you end us with a WHOOP?
Yes, but I want to know who does the better WHOOP when you guys are back and forth.
It depends on how our voices are doing.
Yeah.
Sometimes one of us is hoarse, the other isn't. You could tell we've been working on the Raiders, though. We've been working.
You go way deep. Well, you guys accent it. It would be the fastest three and a half minutes if I really did that. Every time. I want to hear you guys do it back and forth. Then I'll give you a couple.
Today.
People will tweet us and be like, our dogs go crazy every time.
Well, then here they come running.
Yeah. What?
Hey, look, kudos to curly on the Three Stooges where it came from.
That's a good one.
All right, schwam. Thank you so much.
We love having you. Happy Super bowl, everybody.
Happy Super bowl.
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Okay, we're wrapping up the show. We just came from an evening of Henry Lockwood with a side of memes. It was something.
It was definitely an evening.
Hank, I thought you nailed it.
Memes.
You were terrible.
Come.
That's.
That's fair.
So I saw memes today at the content house. He was sitting at the bar, and he had his laptop open, and he was putting in his first bit of prep for the show tonight. And I think your strategy was to just hope that the world ended before today happened. Am I far off? Yeah, maybe the plane crashes on the way here. Different, couple of different scenarios. But I was doing from the get go, I was supposed to say presented by quest and corslite. Didn't say that. I had 5 minutes of jokes. Prep. That didn't work.
Someone said, I think Max said that you were planning on doing tequila, the song. Only when you hit, like a speed.
Bump, as, like a failsafe. And it was one joke, and it was like, hit the music, hit it right now, and it was all downhill.
I'm proud of you, though. As bad as it was, I'm proud of you. Well, you made it look pretty easy.
No.
Yeah.
Hanks was great. It's hard to get up there and do that. I'll give you that. I would have liked to see more than like 6 hours of prep. Yes, but even if I prepped a year, you can't teach public speaking. There were some times, and you read some transcripts of the interviews that we've done. Actually, the first thing you did, you said, here's an unaired part of my take. Interview. Actually, it just aired previously. And you read the transcript of the text messages from Diana Rossini regarding Max on a plane. And everyone was like, wait, I just heard this today.
I turned to pft, I go, what.
The fuck is he doing?
Yeah, that was relevant. I thought it would be funny. I saw one person laughing.
Okay, two sodas.
Two sodas. I mean, two sodas killed.
Two sodas always kills.
The man had two sodas.
I knew it was bad. My dad texted me after. He just said, you okay?
It's like, I'm fine.
The thing about memes is, like, he just denied that tonight was ever going to happen. And then he stepped up on stage, and he was like, oh, fuck. And then he left the stage. He's like, well, thank God that's over. And he turned the page on it.
Yeah, you actually are in great spirits right now.
No, this is a good story. Just being like, remember when you fucking bombed? And then we move on. I told big cat during your set, I was like, I think we should make memes do this again. 15 minutes at a comedy club.
Memes, I'm proud of you. It was bad, but proud of you.
It's an understatement. You want to go watch it?
Yeah, it was bad, and we love you. And you also, in a weird way, you set up Hank very well because it was like, is this going to be the worst thing that anyone has ever purchased? And Hank was good.
Hank saved the day.
Yeah, Hank, you were was. People were like, saying, like, oh, the barstool employees are trying to gas hang up. Like, I was laughing about the whole thing.
Yeah, it was an interesting strategy right off the bat to be like, who hears from Vegas? And then people in the crowd cheer, and you're like, fuck you. And then, like, 5 seconds later, you're like, why aren't you laughing?
Yeah, why is this crowd so dead? But the intro was incredible. That was like a ten minute video. There was a shout out counter going on. I think you had, like, 15 shout outs in the first 5 minutes.
Give it up.
You were like, the holding the breath. The core's light giving out Core's light to everyone. You were a master of running the clock.
Yeah, I think people, I mean, if you listen to this podcast, you've heard me talk for the last probably three or four weeks about how nervous I was for the show, and I realized I was fucked, and I knew that I couldn't do stand up for the whole time, so I was like, I was spending my time thinking of how to kill time. So the intro was the easy one. It's like, all right, I can make a cool video. Corey. Shout to Corey. He's a great video director. I was like, all right, we'll make a cool video to start it.
Give it up for Corey.
If you watch, like, real stand ups like Dave Chappelle, like, they always do, like, cool intros. So I was like, all right, we can do a cool video to start it. That's 4 minutes off the bat.
Give me shelter as a song choice. That's just such a hack. Yeah, you put that under anything.
I've always said when I went to film school, I went to film school being like, if I ever make a movie, I'm going to start it with gimme shelter. That's the song. That's the song.
And the best part about it was you were doing stall tactics in your stall tactic movie where you had, like, you ran back into your hotel room just to pick up what, your air pods.
My passport.
Yeah.
I loved it. You were just stalling inside the stall.
But it was 60 minutes was a long time. So I was like, I can't do 60 minutes. I was like, I got to do. In my head, I was like, I got to do 30 minutes that I can talk about and then try and think of 30 minutes of killing time. So the give it up four was another big one where I was like, yeah, let me just try and kill, like, 20 minutes with give it up. When it started in January, I was like, I got to think of 20 minutes of give it up for. Yeah, let's just give it up for. Let's give it up for. Let's give it up for. Let's give it up for. I'm so happy it's over.
Yeah, there was a couple of moments where it was like the crowd wasn't giving you much, but you also finished so strong. Like, your last story was when. When Corey made you do push ups and, you know, throwing out quest bags. It was funny. I thought it was fucking great.
Walk me through where you were mentally, like, what your emotions were like from the time you stepped on stage, your relationship with the audience, and how you felt about how it was going.
So last week, PFD, obviously, you were there. We did a show at Laugh Factory, and before the show, Nick Tarani helped. I was nervous. I talked about it on the podcast over and over and over again, where I was like, I'm shitting myself over this show. I talked about it, like, three different times. And I saw nick in the office one day. He's like, what's up? I was like, I'm shitting myself. I have to do this fucking 60 minutes show. He's like, all right, let's meet before. We'll go over it. I went over my material, and he helped me. He gave me some suggestions. He was like, what if you said this, what if you said that basically punched up my material before the show last week? And then when I did the show last week, I had what I thought was 15 minutes prepared. I did 20 minutes, and I had more left in the tank. So after that, I didn't want to jinx it because you guys were like, you did really good. Are you really good? I didn't want to jinx it, but I knew after that show last week, I was like, all right, I'm going to be fine.
I'm going to be good. I did 20 minutes. The crowd liked it. It was a home crowd, so it was like, obviously PMT fans. So that helped the crowd. Tonight was not PMT fans. They were not really laughing.
No, they were. They were a little bit dead. I think they were kind of expecting you to bomb so badly that it was going to be cringeworthy. And I feel like your whole set, like the beginning of your set was in that gray zone where there was some things landing, some things not. Then you picked up steam, and I think they came alive towards the end.
Yeah.
But I had felt the laugh factory crowd, so I was like, I'm ready for some laughs. And when they weren't giving it to me, I was just kind of going at them. I was defensive, which, you guys know is how I usually am. I was lashing out. So that was like, my normal reaction was just like, lashing out at the crowd. But I had material ready, so I was prepared. I felt good. I felt bad. I will say this. I knew it was Max or memes, and I knew I was going to be the last person. And I knew there was a week left where it was Max or memes. And I was like, it's got to be memes. It's got to be memes. Because it was Max. I felt like he would have at least put on a performance and been good. So when it was memes, I was a little bit relieved where I was like. But then I felt bad once he went on, because I was like, this sucks. This is a miserable. Is a miserable punishment. This is the worst punishment we've ever.
Yeah, yeah.
The other thing that came out of this is I had no idea the Larry the goldfish story. So Hank told the story. Hank has a tattoo of Larry the goldfish. It was from the beginning, I think we all agree, a terrible tattoo, but I always just thought it was a terrible tattoo because it was a bad tattoo. You told the story that when the tattoo artist came to the office and you had him tattoo Larry the goldfish on your leg, you got the actual dead Larry the goldfish out of the red solo cup. R-I-P kobe teeth, like you said during the show. And he drew the dead goldfish on your body. And that's why it looks so bad. I had no idea, because if you guys had known, you would have all roasted it forever.
Yeah.
I mean, I just always thought it was a tattoo of a dead goldfish's body. I didn't know it was a tattoo of a dead goldfish's dead body.
Right, right.
Yeah.
Just gotten a goldfish. But you were like, oh, you want to see what Larry looked like? Here's his dead corpse that's been frozen in a cup for three months.
Well, he asked for a reference picture, and I was like, well, I can get a reference picture. He's in the freezer. Let me go take a picture. And it wasn't until the tattoo was done where I was like. And this is where I was, like, it was too late. He had already done the full dead tattoo on my body where I was like, oh, my God, this is a dead goldfish.
Yeah.
And you guys were like, oh, cartoon goldfish. I could have just shown him a picture of a goldfish. That's all I needed. It was a fucking goldfish. I could have just googled goldfish, and it wouldn't have mattered. And that's why I never told you guys, because I knew I would have never heard the end of it. No, I was like, this is on my body.
Yeah.
So for years, literally years. This was 2017, and in the back of my head, for legitimately 2018, 1921, 22, I was like, I got to get this fucking thing removed. I have a dead goldfish on my leg. I got to get it removed. And I finally have gone through the process of getting it removed. Unfortunately, it takes, like, 25 appointments to get it removed. So it's, like, half removed. But by this summer, it will be gone.
And you crushed because you were just like. You wouldn't get JFK's blown out brains tattooed on your body. That's what I did.
Yeah.
It's like.
Everyone has dead people tattooed on them. They don't have the dead version of those people.
Hank, I was pleasantly surprised. I thought you were good. I asked for the opinion of maybe the harshest critic in the world on this set, Frank the tank, who was in attendance tonight.
Piece of shit.
And Frank the tank, he started playing crickets during me.
Yeah, he's piece shit.
I told him to stop.
He's piece shit.
Same.
I was like, stop doing the cricket.
You can't do that. Frank needs to get up on stage. Actually, he'd probably kill it. Frank would be amazing.
Kidding me.
So I asked him after the show, I said, on the raw dogging scale, single double triple home run strikeout. He gave you a single.
Oh, that's good. What do you give?
Memes struck out looking like Vogelbach is what he said.
Yeah, the crickets was harsh.
And then he started biting his shirt.
Memes thinking about the Mets. Memes did get Dave to leave. Yeah, Dave Fortnoy left the show.
So, memes, you've done a great job the last few years of staying off Dave's radar. Now you are firmly on Dave's radar. And pay per views doesn't matter. When Dave showed up, he was like.
I can't believe he's here. I was like, who cares?
Yeah, I crush in the preset.
But the Dave thing showing up was like, I wanted Dave to be there.
I didn't care that Dave was.
I saw him.
I was like, I'm fucked. Well, people could still buy it. You could buy it. Till what? Super Bowl Sunday, February 11 I know that it was not Dave Chappelle or Louis Ck. I thought it was very funny. It was a good night. It was a great punishment. I think maybe next year, for our punishment, we do. Loser has to get, like, a 90 minutes massage, spa day, something like that.
Whatever we do has to be. Whatever we do has to be. I've spent a month thinking about this.
We send them to Bali.
Whatever we do has to be top to bottom. It has to be the whole podcast. It can't be split into tiers, because that was bullshit, where it was, like, me, big cat, and PFT in one tier, which is not a fair tiering for myself, and then just picking games.
Think.
If memes had to do six, if.
I had to do an hour.
Oh, my God.
No, I'm saying we would never do that. We have to do something that's equal.
All right? Because you keep saying we don't do punishments. And I had to remind you that I have to eat six pancakes.
I have to eat 24. I got to eat twelve.
So it would have been PFT and Hank. Pft got second placed. If we did the top to bottom.
Then it was second worst. No, you were second place, because we.
Always.
Would have put Jake, Max, and memes up.
Yeah, no, you're right.
I think that the winner next year should get a golf vacation. I think that would be nice.
Listen, I know that it sucked for you guys. I think it was a very funny punishment, and, like, a storyline throughout the football season. We'll come up with something else.
Yeah.
And, Hank, you were a good storyteller tonight.
Thank you.
The storytelling was good, and you told a lot of interesting things I think people hadn't heard about. When I saw the picture Rousillo pop up, I knew exactly where that was going.
You were standing on. I walked at the airport or walked at the elevator and Pft tried to kill me.
The story goes that Bubba and Hank worked in concert together behind the scenes to do a photoshop of a green screen shot that we did with Rusillo where they made me look like three inches shorter. And that's the problem I had. If you had made me, like, five inches shorter, six, I'd be fine. That'd be funny. But since it was three inches, that actually made me mad at the time. Very mad. People think I'm five five now.
The guitar thing also, I obviously wasn't playing guitar. It was probably very obvious on the pay per view that I was fake playing guitar, but I enjoyed learning guitar with PFT, but actually playing at the speed you need to play at to play a full song is very hard.
I told you, it's not an easy song for somebody that doesn't know music.
But in my head, I was like.
All right, I got to do it. I'm going to play the song, bought the guitar, learn simple strings, and I.
Was like, oh, and Hank does get into the full story behind Tiffany, like, some behind the scenes stuff that he has not shared on the.
I'm. I truly feel like I have a new lease on life. I'm so happy. I have never had anxiety like I've had the last.
Yeah, is it bender time we were.
Talking, the punishment actually turned out to be kind of a punishment on me.
And we had to deal with was it was probably two weeks ago where I think it was a Sunday. I think it was ASC championship or divisional round where we were on the same page where I was miserable. You guys knew I was miserable, but you weren't going to ask me why I was miserable because you knew why I was miserable. So we just didn't.
Yeah, we had a dance going.
Yeah, we just didn't address.
Yeah, we were on the same page.
Where I was like, this fucking sucks. I hate everything.
So, yeah. Now is it dinner time? Yeah.
And tune in if you want to buy the pay per view. You can get the origin story of pardon my take, which we won't tell on the podcast. Yeah, it was very funny.
I didn't know it.
Yeah, that probably made you feel like you needed to call the statue. Jake was googling statue of limitations.
Even.
That much like crazy.
Yeah, we still have to do that to you. We should memes don't be too down on yourself. It's over.
Yeah.
All right, good, because as bad as you think it was, it was way worse.
I saw some people laughing.
Are you going to watch it back memes?
No.
That should be the punishment.
Yeah, we won't make you do stand up again, but you should have to sit down and watch the whole.
No, just next year's football punishment is having to watch memes over and over.
You can still buy it. 499.
Yeah.
All right, well, we're king to ourselves in studio with the schwam doing some lottery balls. Okay, that is our show. Great interview with the schwam. Thank you, as always. And we're going to do numbers, so take a guess.
Well, let's see. 1818.
Okay, I'll go 71 again.
I'll go eight again.
40 for Hank, 21 for Shane. 18 for Jake means three boomers. Oh, yeah.
18.
You can't do 18.
Take 25.
25.
Three for memes. Here we go.
That's a come.
You're one off.
Come on.
Credible.
If you listen to the show on Monday, you know why we're freaking out?
Unbelievable.
Should have stuck with 22.
Stuck with 22.
That's like Tony lining up offside, by the way. That sounds like the crowd noise they pump in. Like when you're going to a Thursday practice of an NFL team and they're going to go on the road.
Yeah, that sounds like the water ball.
Yeah.
If it's going to rain, we dip all the balls in water, too.
And ready for it.
Love you guys.
Talking away I know what I'm to say I say anyway today's another day to find you talking away I know what I say anyway today is another day to find you shine away I'll be coming for your lover for your love of jump I be gone let the letter say I'm on Jenny Life is a day later better to be safe and silent to be safe to tell.