Hey, Pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

You want.

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We got a lot of- What are the Chiefs done? The chiefs might be done is Travis Kelsey. Has he lost all of his skills? A lot of football to get to. We're doing it all together with The Family Plan, now streaming on Apple TV-plus starring Mark Wallberg. When his past catches up to his present, an assassinationturned dad embarks on an action, adventure-packed road trip to save his family. We've all seen this movie. It's an awesome movie. Great. There's nothing better this week when you're between Christmas and New Year's, and it's just like a blank week that time just forgets. That's movie time with The Family. Watch The Family Plan on Apple TV+. Our guy, Mark Wallberg, in this great, great movie, The Family Plan, now streaming on Apple TV+ rated PG-13. Go check it out right now, Apple TV+. You should have Apple TV+ anyway. It's got everything there for you. Starring Mark Wallberg, recurring guest, Mark Wallberg. What his past catches up to his President, Assassin turned dad embarks on an action, an adventure-packed road trip to save his family. Go right now, watch The Family Plan now streaming on Apple TV+ rated PG-13.

Okay, let's go. Boy. Boy. Now in the street, there is violence, and then a lot of work to be done. No place to hang out or wash in. And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no. We're going to rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll.

Take it higher. Oh, we're going to wrap down to Electric. It's part of my take, presented by Varshy sports.

Welcome.

To a part of my take. Today is Tuesday, December 26th, week 16. What? What? What? What?

I must be.

The last to.

Wish you a merry Christmas.

I got my good friend Stella in the room, so I can't too loud, otherwise she'll wake up. We start on Saturday out in Los Angeles, where Smith, the new Chargers head coach, showed the team a gif of Tim Robinson in a hot dog suit as the locker room is still trying to find the guy who got Brandon Staley fired. Josh Allen-Rickman said if the Bulls playoff hopes are going to die, they'll have to die hard, making plays every time he was snaped to the ball, ball, passing for a touchdown and slithering for two more. The game was tight late, but Ryan Shakira, Shakira hips did lie as he turned out to be down by contact, helping the Bulls bleed the clock and survive being electrocuted by the dead batteries. Bulls, 24; Chargers, 22.

On.

Christmas Eve.

Eve, we go to Pittsburgh, where Mason Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reinger, led the slaying on the Bangles with the help of a giant sack by TJ What? George Michaels' pickens wham the secondary early and said, You're in a lot of trouble. Kate Brownings fudged everything up while his counterpart, Mason, was more accurate than the Cincinnati Zoolkeeper.

Here.

We go, stealers. Here we go. Stillers.

Here we go.

Pittsburgh's probably not to fire their coach.

Here we go.

Pitchburg, 34, sincey, 11.

Down to Houston, where Amari started off the podcast saying, What's up, Daddy Gang? It's me, Father Cooper, here to gluck-luck the life out of the Texans' playoff hopes as he and Joe Flacko with an F, hooked up for 265 yards and two touchdowns. Case Key-Bump couldn't snort life into the Texans' offense as Davis, Millsey, Bobby Brown had to come in and command the 11th on offense. Even without Dustin, Anthony Hopkins kicking for the better part of the game, the Browns were able to take a shortcut to happiness and all but clinch a playoff. Browns, 36, Texans, 22.

Down to Atlanta, where Arthur Smith was going to get fired, but then he got high. The offense was looking real tired, but then he got high. They're probably going to still miss the playoffs, but at least they'll try. Why, man? Why, man? Because he got high. Because he got high. Because he got high, Nicky. The Falcons might have found a spark for their.

Offense, but it's too ridder, too late for the dirty birds.

As Bison's slob on by Robinson tied the Colts up like a pony tail on Shane, staking a blowjob day. Bucking and Palace Gairdner-Minshi was stoic after not doing his job and watching a very bad, violent end if you're in Indiana. Falcons 29, Coach 10.

We head to the windy city where Justin Trudeau Fields bounced back after a terrible, brown facing, answering critics that asked, Can he play quarterback? With a Can I? Duh. Kaleel looked like he made the Cardinals deep and smoked some herb or before the game, reminding everyone that tackling Well High is a DUI as he went for over a hundred. Cole Howeick met your mother, Mazbido, along for 107 yards and the bears comfortably won the game, their last play being a QB, Neil Patrick Harris. Bears 27, Cardinal 16.

We go over to Minnesota with the Detroit Lions were officially.

Looking to escape.

The ass label, thanks to Amanra Taint Brown, who found himself around balls all.

Day long. In the.

Defense, Ifitu should leave Meliovau had an interception as fellow sketch comedian nick Monis trying to find out who did this. Dan Campbell dragged Minnesota out to sea until it was exhausting, then let their boat on fire, giving them a Viking funeral.

Jameer Kwai.

Gibbs put the Vikings into virtual insanity, and they'll be dancing on the ceiling in Detroit, where they have won the division for the first time since Hank Lockwood was one year old, crying and whining and pooping himself and sucking on boobies, much like he still is to this very day.

Lions 30, Vikings 24. We head over to Philadelphia with our correspondent, Maxwell Delente. Hey. We head over to Philadelphia, where the giants finally sent Tommy DeVito sleeping with the Seven Fishes. Shaq O'Neal Lender had the Eagles fan saying, I owe you an apology. I wasn't familiar with your game, as he finally had his first good game with the Eagles. Boston Scotstrap got absolutely level by his own teammate, leaving his arms wide open, resulting in the most embarrassing turnover since the butt-roll. However, the.

Andre Taylor Swift was able to find blank.

Space late and burn enough clock for the Eagles to win ugly.

Eagles 33, giants 25.

We finish in Nazareth on the holiest of holidays with Swam. Swam?

We go to Bethlehem. Where? What's that up in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's the.

Original one-star recruit, Jesus Christ.

Getting the most unlikely birth since we wrote the bills off a month ago. His mom was a virgin, that's why we say Merry Christmas. Despite offers from smaller walk on Plans, Jesus chose Earth.

For the opportunity to start right ahead going from walk on to.

Walk on water and record time for this Coach's son. And now 2,000 years later, if you watch the sky on Christmas, you'll see my good friend.

Sexy Red Santa Claus saying.

Catch me on my sled, ride and dirty, eating milk and cookies, weighing 330. Other holidays are relevant like rock party. And no, no, what's that stealing all the presents?

Oh, it's a grudge.

No worries. He saw the Travis, Kelsey, Pfizer commercial and his heart grew three sizes that day, according to my dear close personal friend, Jersey Terry.

Merry Christmas. All right, that was week 15, fastest two minutes brought to you by our friends at Chevy. There's a new family with Unstoppable Grit, and they're the official partners of the Pardon My Take family, and that is the Chevy Silverado Z. R. 2 family. The first ever Silverado Heavy Duty Z. R. 2 joins a franchise to make Chevy Z. R. 2 the only truck brand with a full lineup of trucks ready for wherever your off-road adventures take you with exclusive multi-matic DSSV dampers, rugged mud terrain tires, and up to 14 available camera views. The Chevy Silverado Z. R. 2 and Silverado HD Z. R. 2 are family with unstoppable and commanding grit. Head to chevy. Com and check out the Chevy Silverado and the family of Chevy Z. R. 2s, the official trucks of Pardon my take. Thank you to Chevy. If you're thinking about getting a truck, there's only one place to go. It's Chevy. Com. Chevy, our wonderful sponsor. Okay, boys, week 15, 16, sorry, in the books, that was the fastest two minutes via Zoom. Only time we'll do it via Zoom this year. Thank you for everyone understanding, but we're here.

We're ready to talk football. I know we're going to talk Ravens Niners at the end, but was that Brock Purdy's fourth interception that we just watched?

Yeah, Brock Purdy is having a bad, bad night. He's having a worse night amongst the two quarterbacks, one of whom tripped over a referee and had a safety in the end zone. Yes. Pretty bad night for Brock Purdy. I hope he'll figure it out. There's still a lot of time left, though. We'll see what happens.

Yeah, we'llwe'll have to... There's a lot of time left, and I did just janky because I did say I'm officially over the ref safety because I was arguing about it. You could tell when someone has a lot of money on a game because they're arguing points forever. I was getting into the weeds with the ref safety with all the people saying that Lamar Jackson, it was his fault and the ref had nothing to do with it. Then after like 20 minutes, I'm over it knowing that I wasn't over it. I just did say I'm over it officially because the Ravens were easy. I didn't realize there was 11 and a half minutes left to the third quarter. That was- There's a lot of time left. There's a lot of time left.

When I looked down, I swear to God, I looked down at the clock, I saw 11 minutes left, and I thought to myself, That's got to be a mistake. They mean fourth quarter. There's 11 minutes left in the fourth quarter. No, there's a lot of ball left. But the way Kyle Hamilton is playing right now, it doesn't look good for Brock pretty. But it's funny that people are arguing in favor of the referees on that call. They were doing like, well, Lamar should have been hanging out in that neighborhood at night if you didn't want bad things to happen. The referee literally tripped over his own feet as he was back pedaling, laughed on his way down like, Oh, fuck, I'm really screwing this up. Lamar fell over him through a pass that he probably would have been able to get to the line of Scrimage. He wasn't going to be able to get away from Chase Young because Chase Young was on top of you in that moment.

I still think he might have been able to.

This is Lamar Jackson. He would have definitely-.

It's the one guy. It's the one guy who if any other player, I would have absolutely conceded that Chase Young would have sacked him. Lamar Jackson is the one guy who we've seen time and time again allude everyone, right?

Big Ben would have just shrugged him off and walked out of the end zone with him on his shoulders. But yet he, at the very minimum, would have been able to throw the ball down field and get out of his... It was a weird play by Lamar to begin with, but let's not act like a referee falling over his own dick and then tripping a quarterback and causing a safety is something that we're just going to be willing to say, you know what? That's part of the game.

Of football. Yes. We will discuss this game in its entirety once it goes final because there is a lot of time left. I had no idea. But yes, you have part of my take today. It is via Zoom. Just me and PFT talking ball. That's a great show. We had a lot of ball, though. That was the last three days. When we have this many windows of NFL. It's like a Fever Dream of NFL where it's like, I just don't know when games stop, start. I just feel like I'm always watching a moment while trying to do a billion different other things. I would have the holidays no other way, though.

Yeah, the Saints-Rams game was on Thanksgiving. That's how long ago that took place. I can't believe that was this week. A part of me really liked how they spread it out. I would... I would have preferred to get two games on Christmas, maybe the three games on Christmas, Eve-Eve.

On Saturday. On Saturday, yeah.

What this weekend has taught me is that if the NFL wanted to, they could put three games on Friday, three games on Saturday. I don't know how many that would make for Sunday. Six games on Sunday and then three more on Monday. That would be a perfect weekend for me. I would do it.

I would do it. I absolutely do it. Just football on at all times. Yeah, let's get into it. Let's start with the first game, which does feel like it was 10 years ago, Steelers 34, Bangles 11. I want to shout out to Steelers just off the top because there are certain games that you need in time slots during the holidays to be blowouts that you can go one eye on, one eye off. And this was that game. I got my kids into the car and I was like, We're going to the winter wonderland at Wrigley because when the stealers were up, whatever it was, 24 points in the first half. This is perfect. This is borrowed time. I knew I had to say I had to work, and now I get to basically be like, Guess what? Christmas Miracle. Daddy's taking you guys to Wrigley. Thank you to the stealers for that. But this was the George Pickens game. He had the Randy Moss stat line where he had four catches, 195 yards and two touchdowns where it's just it was the George Pickens game. It doesn't excuse everything George Pickens has done this year.

It just confirms that George Pickens is worth the headache because he has this in him.

It definitely excuses George Pickens behavior to George Pickens. Yes. For sure. Now you literally cannot tell George Pickens anything because they'll say, You remember that game against the Bangles where Mason Rudolph threw for 150 yards in the first quarter? And it's because he was throwing the ball all the time to me. I bet you he also found something to be upset with after the game with this offense. They still didn't get into the ball enough. But it does show that George Pickens, when you throw him the ball, he's really fucking good. He's probably still following Mason Rudolph on Instagram right now, right? Yes, definitely. I guess he gave him the superfollow probably on X. He's subscribed to him, maybe paying him a small monthly fee. But Mason Rudolph, I'm looking up right now, he had 129 yards in the first quarter. It's the most passing yards for a quarterback with no accomplishments in the first quarter of the season. Over two had one where he went for 113, the homes went for had one where he went for 120. Also, we told you this was coming. You're going to get a Mason-Rudolf game on Christmas, Eve-Eve.

That's just how it's going to.

Work out. I was happy for Mason-Rudolf because I don't think anyone's had a... There's definitely been weirder careers. I don't know exactly how to describe his career because first of all, it doesn't feel like you know any third-string quarterbacks, right? Third-string quarterbacks are usually guys who are only going to play in an emergency. Mason Rudolph, it feels like, has been on the Steeler for a while and just sucked up being the third-string quarterback. And then obviously had the Miles Garrett situation where, didn't Miles Garrett say that he had said something and then we all just said, Oh, okay, Mason Rudolph said something. The narrative on Mason Rudolph, he just sat quietly as a third-string quarterback for all these years after having a really bad moment. And now he gets this, and I was happy for him. I don't know how to describe his career, but you know what I'm saying? Most third-string quarterbacks, we don't really know their names, or they'll just be journeymen. You'll bring them in, you'll cut them, you'll bring them in again. Mason Rudolph, we've known for a very long time.

Yeah. He was known for having a face that was so punchable that we were like, Oh, awesome, when Miles Garrett hit him in the head with a helmet.

Oh, and also that and also the concussion when they had to take off his face mask. That was those were his two.

Biggest moments. His two moments. I'll say this about Mason Rudolf, he's gotten way less punchable. It might be he grew up the hair a little bit, maybe just he grew up a little bit. I looked at him and I was like, you know what? I felt bad that I laughed when he got hit in the head with a helmet by Miles Garrett. I have seen some Steeler's fans calling Miles Garrett, Miles Smullet, after that because they never produced any evidence of any racist comment. I'm not going to dive deep into that and figure out one way or another. I just know that at the time, the night of the assault, it was funnier than it should have been just simply because we didn't like Mason Rudolf's face. Right. Now it's like, I feel like a shithead for not liking his face so much that he got hit.

That's all we knew him for. You're absolutely right because it was a fucked up confirmation bias where we didn't like his face and then someone said something like, Oh, he's actually a shithead. We're like, Yeah, no, duh. We've been saying this forever because of his face. I hand up Mason Rudolph. I feel bad how it's gone, but this was an awesome moment. I was happy for him. The other part of this game, now we are Jake Browning podcast because he does listen, but I do appreciate Jake Browning. When a guy decides to turn back into a pumpkin, I like when they do it with such authority, you're like, Oh, yeah, there it is. We don't have to play this game anymore. That interception he threw into the end zone where it looked like in the first half, where it looked like it was maybe 10 seconds left in a game on a fourth down. He's like, I just have to throw it somewhere. But it was, I think, the middle of the second quarter and there was no need for him to throw it. That was his pumpkin moment. It's like, Okay, that was fun.

Good that we know this. Let's move on.

He submitted himself as a gunslinger. That was a gunslinger throw for sure. Actually, this was a game when I was watching it, I said to myself, This game proves how little I know about the NFL. Seeing the Steeler's dominating this game that I was sure, I think everybody was sure that the Bangles were going to compete. You can't tell me that you saw a Steeler's blowout.

Going in this game. No, no, no. But what we said on Friday was this was Mike Tomlin's Steeler's legacy culture on the line. Right. So it wasn't that surprising that the Stelers had that because Mike Tomlin, whatever you want to say about him, he will find his way to nine wins. He's going to find his way to nine wins. They had to win this game to find his way to nine wins.

I was just shocked by all the points. I was shocked at how good the Steeler's looked. I did think that the Steeler's had a chance at winning a game by five, maybe even six points. I did not see a blow-up coming at all. It was a good reminder that as much football as we watch, and we should be experts on it given how much we walk and talk about it, nobody out there is really... We don't know what's.

Going to happen. You know the Mike Tomlin path is set because if the Ravens win this game and there's eight minutes left, they're up 18.

And then they beat- Eight minutes in.

The third. Eight minutes in the third, and they beat the Dolphins next week. The Ravens will not be starting anyone in week 18. And Mike Tomlin will get his way to the ninth win. He will find a way to the ninth win. They'll lose the Seahawks at Seattle, and then he'll beat back-ups for the Ravens, not trying to be like, See, nine wins.

I don't even think it's that crazy that the Seahawks make the playoffs. I'm all fucked up because the playoff machine on ESPN. Com has been broken for a week and they haven't fixed it. Fix it. I don't know. Who's in charge of Disney? Who's that guy?

It's bullshit. I don't know. That guy? This is- Bob Iger.

Bob Iger. This is a bridge too far, Bob, unless you're planning on paying us hundreds of millions of dollars at some point. You're a piece of shit for not fixing the playoff machine because this is really thrown away the only real tool that I have in terms of projecting football analysis. But I have a feeling like the Stealers could... It's way more likely than the 12, 13 % odds that they're giving them. Because I think what has to happen is they need the Jaguars to lose a game, right?

Yeah. Which the are really good at losing games right now.

They probably could. Then the Stealers would need to win out. And then I think the Colts and the Texans- They play each other. -they can't finish with... They play each other. So if the Jaguars lose a game and the Stealers went out, I think the Stealers would make.

The playoffs. I think it just even is just the Texans or Colts. If the Stealers win out, which if the Ravens aren't playing anyone in week 18, they could very well... They got to beat to Seattle and then beat a bunch of backups, I think they'll do it just from that because the Texans and Colts play each other. But yeah, we could get... Listen, if it's Mason, Rudolph, I might be back in on the Steelers.

We might get a little back to back. I think if the Steelers were to beat the Ravens in that final game of the season, they might get a rematch week one.

No, the.

Ravens- Yeah, you're right. They would be in one seat.

They wouldn't start anyone if they're the one seat. They have to beat the Dolphins. Last thing I had on this game was remember when Miles Jack was retired to be a plumber?

Yeah.

Because he was awesome in this game and he signed back with the Steeler and he was awesome. He announced that he was retiring. He's like, I'm going to go to trade school and be an electrician or a plumber. Then he's just playing really good football for the Steeler who have... They have no one in their secondary left. Besides their defensive line, it feels like everyone has been hurt or suspended, and they played a good game. They shut down Jake Browning, who was the hottest quarterback for a while for two weeks stretch.

I also think that Pittsburgh would be the worst city to be a plumber in. Yeah. Maybe Cincinnati, actually, because of the Chile. But Pittsburgh would definitely be in my.

Top three. Well, there's the Pittsburgh Toilet. Have you ever heard of the Pittsburgh Toilet?

Is that the one where it's back to back?

No. And this is from our good friend nick Tarrolly, who's one of the funniest guys in the world. We had this revelation maybe a year ago. He thought everyone had this. It's just in the basement, a toilet that just freestanding with no walls around it.

Oh, no, I didn't know that. I didn't know that at all.

I don't know if it's technically called the Pittsburgh Toilet, but he was like, Yeah, growing up, I saw... He grew up in West Virginia, but not too far from Pittsburgh. Part of West Virginia is Pittsburgh.

It's where Florio lives.

Yeah, right. And he was like, Wait, you guys didn't have just a freestanding toilet in your basement? And we're like, No, we did not.

It might be just like a bird bath that was down in Nick's basement. He was like, Oh, yeah, that's my toilet. That's where you take a piss. But what's the toilet called where it's back to back, where there's two toilets and you share a back and a side so you can poop facing the opposite direction?

I don't know. I don't know what.

That is.

That's a good one, too. But just thinking of a bunch of Yinsers just sitting in a basement with no walls around, just taking a big old dump. It's rocks. You get all the space. You can probably see your TV. They actually might have figured out better than.

Anyone else. The 360-degree toilet. Did I ever tell you about the time I went to a concert and I was scarred for life from this? I was, I think, maybe 16 years old. I drove out to go see Poison Play. There's this giant venue that was right outside my hometown. In the bathroom there, they had a big toilet, like a big urinal, trough style in the middle of the bathroom, but it was a circle. It was like a circular firing squad. It was probably 20 feet wide in diameter. It was just probably 30 dudes pissing towards each other. Yes. Like just full-on dicks exposed at all times. I'm traumatized from that. I'm never going to recur. A 16-year-old, that was my personal Vietnam.

Toilet story. We should just do a whole Toilet Stories podcast because there's a bar in Lincoln Park called Duffy's. It's a Michigan bar. It gets packed on Saturdays. I was there, I was probably 15 years ago. I don't even know if it's still there. But it was one of those bathrooms that had 10 urinals and then just a toilet with no walls. It was just a toilet at the end. I remember one of the funniest things I've ever seen was everyone was pissing in there and some guy just came. It was maybe, I don't know, 12:30 in the morning or 12:30 in the afternoon, kick-off is 11:00 a. M. It was like a half-time. He just comes and he's like, I got to do it. He just sat down and took a shit in front of 15 dudes. Everyone was cheering him on like, Yes, dude, you got.

To do it. I could go on. I got a million toilets. We'll do that in the summer. We'll just do the toilet episode.

Yeah, the toilet stories. Okay, so next game. Yeah, the Bengals are pretty much eliminated. I think it's now 12. I counted 12 teams in the NFL or seven or eight or eight and seven, which is pretty crazy. Everyone just sucks, but also could be good every now and then. That's just the name of the whole league.

The AFC is all eight and seven, and then the NFC actually, yeah, the NFC is mostly seven and eight.

Yeah, right. It's crazy. So next game, Bills Chargers. Bill's Survive, I think that's the perfect way to say it. This was a classic Bill's 2023 game where it looked exactly like the Jets game week one or the Broncos game on Monday Night Football, where the Bills were just basically trying every which way to blow this game. If it weren't for Gabe Davis, who is the best receiver in the world, once every five weeks, the Bills could have lost this game pretty easily because the gifts, Smith, bounced back for the chargers and East and Stick. The chargers looked like they had life again, and they gave everything to the Bills.

They played hard. Yeah, I bet you there's like a million people out there that have Gabe Davis on their fantasy teams that didn't start him this weekend too. Because he's the ultimate-.

George Pickens as well.

He's the ultimate where was Gabe Davis this weekend? Every time you start him, he stinks. Every time you sit him, he's awesome. There's going to be a lot of people that will not be renewing their contracts with Gabe Davis this offseason. He's boomer-pust. They had to win this game, must win for the Bills. They won it. It was pretty ugly. It was dicey going. There was a beautiful moment actually at the end of the game where East and Stick had the ball in his hands, driving down the field to win the game. Within, I think, 10 seconds of each other, me and Big Cat both tweeted out, too much time for East and Stick. When it comes to sarcastically rooting on backup quarterbacks, we get synced up like sorority girls in our periods. It's just a beautiful moment. It turns out there actually was too much time for East and Stick. You could have given them the ball for forever. Probably wouldn't have happened. Yes. The Bulls had to win it, and it seems like the Bulls will definitely make the playoffs. They're not like locked into their spot yet, but I would put a lot of money on the Bulls making playoffs right now.

It seems pretty clear they will.

We obviously get accused a lot of being Bill's sympathizers because we are- Glazers. -we're Glazers. We're good friends of Josh Allen. The only thing I'd clarify, because we've said this, I gave this speech before the Chiefs game when I was like, If you like the Bills to beat the Chiefs, take them 35-1 to win the Super Bowl because the AFC is wide open. It's not saying that the Bills aren't... It's not saying the Bills are some world-beating team. It's that the rest of the pack has come back to the Bills. The Bills are a Jekyl and Hyde team this year. They've had performances where they've looked incredible, and they've had dog shit performances that put them in this hole to start with. Would it shock you if the Bills lost to the Patriots next week? No, because that's their whole season. They already lost the Patriots once. But it's more that the rest of the AFC has come back to the Bills where it's just a mess outside of The Ravens of teams, and I guess you could throw in the Dolphins now, of teams that just don't look that great and the Bills are starting to rattle off some winds here that they're getting some confidence.

I still think the Bills stink, but the difference between the Bills now and the Bills earlier this season is in the desperate moments, the Bills can channel that desperation and use all that emotion and do something good with it. Whereas earlier this season they would channel all that desperation, emotion and throw an interception, or they would commit a costly turnover and fumble ball. There were some fumbling issues too in this game, but I feel like their desperate moments are way more productive now than they were like two months ago.

The perfect way to say the 2023 Bills, their A-plus game, I think, is up there with anyone else's A-plus game. I think if the Bills played an A-plus game, they can beat the Niners, they could beat the Ravens, they can beat all these teams. The problem is their A-plus game doesn't show up ever, really. They've done it a couple of times, and the rest of their performances, they could lose to the Panthers. Their volatility is so insane that if you put the Bill's versus the Panthers right now, you'd be crazy to say, Yeah, it's going to be the Bill's will 100 % win this game. Whereas if you put the Niners, I know the Niners are getting killed right now, but the Niners versus the Panthers, I put my life on it. You know what I'm saying? The Ravens versus the Panthers, I put my life on it. I think that's what the Bill's are. The Fumbles. The Bill's have an issue because James Cook is electric, but much like a horror movie when they'll like, Scream used to do this. When the Scream franchise came out, they'll have a moment in the first 10 minutes of the movie where they'll do like a fake murderer pops up and it's like, Oh, it's just a guy knocking on his girlfriend's car window.

She got scared. She thought she was about to be murdered. That's how I feel like James Cooke's Fumbles are. We know the foreshadowing. We've seen it. It's the fake scare, and it's going to show up in the playoffs and it's going to kill. That's going to be the murder because he is so electric and you have to have him on the field. But the Fumbles now, it feels like it's become more of a thing that he's got to like... Maybe it's mini yips where it's just it's happened enough where I'm like, oh, this probably is going to be how they die.

Do we still get coaches that make players carry on football a week like we did in the movies in necessary roughness? James Cook should carry two footballs around at all times. Don't use your hands on anything. Just have it on the big, skin, high, and tight, and then everybody gets to try to hit them out all day long. You put a bounty on causing a fumble.

And every team has this. Every contending team has the one thing in the back of their head where they know like, Oh, this has become a thing that has happened enough, where when we dive because of this, we can't be that shocked because we saw it all-season long.

Once the playoffs start, we should make a graphic of the back-of-the-head items for each team. Yeah.

And Josh Allen's interceptions are also on that, to be fair. I mean, he had another one on Saturday. But yeah, there's that one thing that everyone has. I mean, I think about the 2018 bears when Cody Parky, you didn't think I knew Cody Parky sucked? He had the game where he hit four straight doinks. You have that one thing in the back of your head that you're like, if we get into a crunch time situation, it's a lot of times it's special teams like your punning team or your kicker. But a guy fumbling, you're just like, Uh-oh, this is going to happen in a bad situation and we're not going to be able to recover.

Yeah, we should add Darren Ravel at the end of the list and back of his head, JFK is back of his head. Yeah, we.

Should release that thing that everyone's scared about.

Yeah. One other fun stat from this game. Did you know that Leonard Fernett is 28 years old?

I saw you tweet that and yeah, that bummed me out.

You probably looked.

It up. Well, no, I saw it, and obviously I trusted you. I was like, Damn, is he the new Randall Cobb?

He's 28 years old. Leonard Furnett has never been alive for a Detroit Lions.

Division Championship. It's crazy. I have another one for you. Mike Evans is 30. I didn't realize that.

That is crazy. That's nuts too.

I think he just turned 30. I think with Leonard.

Furnett-the fact that Leonard Furnett looked like he was 30 when he was 18 years old in college doesn't help items on the same thing. Yes. But yeah, he's 28 years old, which in blogging years, he is a blogger that is 40.

Yes, I saw you treat that like, Fuck man, he is the new Randall cop. But yeah, it's good to see Lenny back out there. Okay, powering on to Sunday. Lions 30, Vikings 24, the Lions have done it. They have won their first ever NFC North title. It was the NFC Central, obviously. Youknow, 20-plus years ago, whatever it was, when the Bucks were in it, which was weird. But anyway, the Lions have done it. They've done it. They've won the NFC North. First home playoff game they're going to have since 1993, first home playoff game at Ford Field, which was constructed in 2002. They did it in classic Lions fashion too, where it was almost a complete, complete disaster because they had that game. They come out, they look great. First couple of drives, awesome. Then the Vikings come roaring back and then Hawkinson gets hurt and Addison gets hurt. The Lions find themselves. Nick Molen just throwing the ball everywhere. I want to get to him in a minute. But that I thought that that was going to be the most Lions way ever to lose. When on that last drive, John Kaminsky, who is one of the defensive lineman, tried to pick up the fumble instead of falling on it.

Then nick Mullen hits like Justin Jefferson down the field on the next player, the two plays after, and they were off and running. I thought that was going to be the moment. The Lions were about to win the NFC North, and all he had to do was fall on that ball. Instead, he tried to scoop and score it, and the Lion is going to be doomed. But they're not those Lions anymore. They're not the same old Lions. I'm happy for Lions fans. Dan Campbell was on the O and 16 team. He had all the old guys come up and get the game ball, which was awesome in the locker room. I know that winning division titles, there's still work to be done and you can't celebrate that much. Fuck that. Lions fans should celebrate the fuck out of this because that's an insult stat that it's been 30 years since you had a home playoff game, never won to NFC North. Now you get to erase all of that.

Yeah, a loser move usually when teams go out there and they have all this division champion merch that gets printed up and fans buy that stuff. In this case, every Lions fan should own a piece of 2023 North Division Champions. You should own a piece of that merchandise. That should be what you wear to church. People should get buried in that stuff. It's like a life-changing event for people that live in Detroit that have watched so much bad football over the years. And it's been really bad football. And to stick through that, and I saw they got Decker and Ragnau up to the center of the locker room. They were like, Hey, the old school guys that have been around for a while, they were part of changing. That's got to be so hard. The mental toughness that it would need to take to play on some of those awful, awful teams and then turn everything around entirely to the point where you're not just winning your division. You're winning your division with two games left in the year. You're dominating your division. That's a massive, massive turnaround where you had to be so mad.

I want to know what was going through their heads when they were playing on their worst team that they were on and what type of individual can suffer and last through that and still be able to make something good out the other side. Because it's a very cool story. I know we did blind resumes last week. I have one more blind resume for you.

Yeah, but just to say I want to hear the blind resume. But the fact that Dan Campbell was on the O-16 team is one of the coolest stories. That he has come back and taken him to this point because it has been just years and years of sadness and terrible things. But go ahead, blind resume.

Blind resume season, quarterback one. This individual has 3,984 yards, 27 touchdowns, 10 interceptions. Quarterback two has 3,648 yards, 23 touchdowns, nine interceptions. So it's 3,900 to 3,600, and it's 27 touchdowns to 23 touchdowns.

Jared, golf and patch from as homes.

Jared Goff is the first one. You nailed that one. The second one, Matthew Stafford. Isn't that interesting? Isn't that interesting?

He did play a couple less games, but still.

We're not going to talk about that. I want to say all positive. This is a blind resume.

It's a blind resume. The stats are what the stats are right now. Jerry Goff, more yards, more touchdowns, and only one more interception than Matthew Stafford. Listen, you get your best ability is your availability.

That's a fact. That's a fact. Jerry Goff has been very available. Yeah. If Matt Staffer doesn't get hurt, the Rams would already be in the playoffs. They probably were already clenched. There you go. No, I don't want to do any negative lion stuff. I don't want to talk about their defense. I don't want to talk about anything because it's good for them. It they are division rival. I was clarifying online. I'm happy for Lions fans. I'm not happy the Lions are good. I want the bears to be better than the Lions. But in terms of fit, if you are, as a sports fan, can't take a step back for one second and just say, Hey, I'm happy for those fans because you finally get that monkey off your back where people can stop talking about it. That's really what it is. It's not like mission accomplished, we won the division, we're happy with that. I think all Lions fans want to go win a Super Bowl. Of course they do. But it's more just like the narrative and the stats and the fact that it's been this long since the home playoff game. You get to erase all that and that's got to feel good.

Yeah. It's very tough to root for an entire city to just feel bad. You're a piece of shit. If you're rooting for Detroit Lions fans and never have any joy, you're a thief of joy, and you should feel bad about yourself.

I'm actually thinking about this.

That.

Said how quickly- I was going to say how many years... For you, the Cowboys, for me, for Max as well, the Cowboys, for me, the Packers, how many years would they have to not make the playoffs for me to then be happy for them? I think it'd have to be like 60. I'd have to be like 98 years old and be like, Oh, yeah, I guess you guys can get one.

The thing with the Cowboys fans, and Max will back me up on this, they do act like they're Super Bowl favorites every single season. That was going through the years where they never won a playoff game. They didn't win a playoff game until what, like 2016? That was their first win in something like 20 years. They still acted going into every season like they were the hot shit and every other team was beneath them. But I think probably for them not making the playoffs, I would start to feel bad for Cowboys fans after, I think 50 years is the right amount.

Max is shaking his head, which makes me think, I think the rule for this is everyone gets one team in every sport where it's like no amount of years. Because I'm thinking about it. It's obviously tricky because it also has to coincide with your team not being good. If the bears were seven and eight right now fighting for the NFC North, I'd feel a lot different. I'd feel a lot different about the Lions winning the NFC North. I'm thinking about it. If the bears sucked and the Vikings won a Super Bowl, I would feel happy for Vikings fans. I would. I'd be pissed, but I'd feel happy for the fans. I think you get one team that you can be like, I will never feel happy for them no matter what.

There's also a factor. If you're also a shitty team, sometimes you just want a team to be worse than yours. I think, Browns and Lions fans have had that going back at each other for a very long time, where it's like, as the song goes, at least we're not Detroit if you're in Cleveland, right?

I met a sector of Brown's Twitter that thinks the Browns are a better organization overall than the Bears. I'm not saying the Bears are a great organization, but I met this sec to Twitter and I don't know where these people exist, but they were like, Yeah, we're a better organization than you.

They've never been to a Super Bowl. With the exception of the Dallas Cowboys, I would say that I will root for any team that's been through the misery that the Detroit Lions or the Cleveland Browns historically have been through.

Correct. So happy for Lions fans. The only other thing I had in this game is nick Moles is fun. Four hundred yards and four interceptions is fun. I don't care. I know that that duck that he threw, sucked. But when you sit down and you watch a football game, if it's a backup quarterback, you want to be entertained. And he's one of those backup quarterbacks that will entertain you. It will be a roller coaster. It will be all over the place. But he's fun, and I like watching him play football.

Yeah, there's a lot of backup quarterbacks that are just bummers. I would put East and Stick right now in that category. We'll see what East and Stick becomes. A lot of quarterbacks don't get the luxury of developing out of their just depressing phase into actually being fun while also being depressing. Nick Mullins, you can win a game with nick Mullins. He's infinitely more likely to lose you a game and do it in a hilarious manner. But he doesn't lack for confidence. And so I will watch a game with nick Mullins in it for sure. And how quickly, if you're a Detroit sports fan and you were presented with the trade, like that trade meme, I offer you one Lions division championship, and then I receive the Detroit Pistons not winning a game for the rest of the year. How quickly do you think they make that trade? Every time, right? Every single time. That's how good this Lion's season is for Detroit fans, where they can just be like, Oh, yeah, the Pistons, they suck, but I don't care.

Yeah. No, it doesn't matter at all. I mean, and the Pissens have won in their past. You know what I mean? They actually have some history, whereas the Lions, I know, pre- Super Bowl era, but yeah, fuck it. I'm also an anonymous person who may be on this podcast right now has offered two tickets to Detroit Don and Superfan if the Lions do make it to the Super Bowl.

It's awesome, Max. Thank you.

Yeah, huge for you, Max. You want to match?

I'll match.

So we got to find two other Lions fans.

I'll match. You can't do that to me like, Of course, I'm going to match.

How about your matches? You just get them a flight.

That's fair. How much do you think the tickets are going to cost?

If the Lions are in the Super Bowl? Yeah. Like 10 grand each.

You know what? I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll dig deep. It's the season?

It's for this year. We're going to go year by year. We're going to go year by year. This season.

This season. I'm not saying extending it to infinity.

Yes, I will probably extend my personal one to infinity, which you can then decide to match or not.

I'm matching for this year.

Yeah, this year.

Much like my Colts tickets that you're matching this year, not next year. We got to find two hardcore Detroit Lions fans out there. Eminem, I'll buy you tickets.

Did you see Eminem's tweet?

Yeah, he said, I did it.

Then he responded to himself saying, We did it. Damn it. Still figure out how to use this thing. We also had Calvin Johnson, which I don't know if this was why he did this, but it was so funny. The Lions tweeted congrats to Calvin Johnson in 2021 when he got decided that he was being inducted into the Hall of Fame. On Sunday, after The Lions clinched to the NFC North, he responded and was like, Thank you. Always love Detroit. He's just reading.

You know what I think he probably did? He doesn't tweet much, does he?

No.

He probably logged on to Twitter and then went to his notifications and then saw that like a porn bot liked that tweet from The Lions, and that's the most recent thing that he saw. Some bot scraped it, and then he was like, Oh, fuck. I forgot to respond to this one. Now it's a good time.

Yes. Okay, next game. Browns-36, Texans-22, Joe fucking Flacko and Amari Cooper. Holy shit. That was incredible. Joe Flacko, it was a perfect Joe Flacko game because the first pass was a 55-yard pass down the field. You're like, Oh, Joe is in his bag today. He even threw in a couple of that were vintage flacko, interceptions. The Browns, I know this game, if you look at the score, 36-22, you think it was close? It was never close. They completely suffocated the Texans. The Texans had a kick return. And other than that, I think the yardage was like 400-100 going into the fourth quarter. And the Browns lost a kicker, too. They lost Dustin Hopkins on the kick return. They were going for it on every fourth down. But Joe Flacko, I mean, that was... I'm starting to think that the Browns might go to the Super Bowl. Browns, Lions.

I'm thinking that Joe Flacko might be better without a kicker. Burn the boats. Just throw that fucking football. Just throw the ball so high in the air that comes down with a little bit of God on it. And Amari Cooper is out there, and he's going to catch every single one that you throw that's a 50-50 ball. Flacko is good. He's playing good enough right now where the Browns can make it, for sure. In the last three games, he's had 1,053 yards, eight touchdowns, and he just looks good. He had two plays where I was like, What the fuck is going on with Joe Flacko? One where he danced around in the pocket, flipped his hips a few times, scrambling out and just threw a dart down field. Another one where he was getting wrapped up by two guys. He was getting hit low, wrapped around his knees, and he was getting hit in his throwing arm and shoulder as he threw it. And he threw a 25-yard missile. And if you're throwing the ball like that, yes, you can win the Super Bowl if your defense continues to be the best in the league by far.

I'm not saying that the Browns are going to win the Super Bowl, but I am saying that if it's a Browns-Lions Super Bowl, we might have to look into getting some Browns fans some tickets to go. Imagine what a great game. We're going to go broke this year. We'll have to go.

We'll have to go with like, we'll have to bring some Browns and Lions fans and sit in between them because whoever loses will try to fight. You know that. You know what? We'll get the drunk Browns fan. Yes, general. But you know who I'm.

Talking about. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

There's thousands of people listening to this podcast right now. We're like, Oh, shit, me? When I said drunk, Brown's fan.

They're like- Bernie Cosar?

You're going to send us? Everyone knows who I'm talking about. The drunk, Brown's fan. Yes, Joe Flacko went from, This is a cool story. He's back. This is fun, to Wait, Joe Flacko is playing his balls off. The Browns, like with Amari Cooper, it's crazy. I have a name for you, PFT. Does the name... Let me find it. Where is it? I put it down. Oh, Matt Walezko. Ring a bell.

Matt Waletsko. No. Okay.

That's who the Cowboys drafted with the PIC they got for Amari Cooper when they traded him for a fifth round.

Oh, yeah.

I know there was contract related because he had just signed, I think it was a five-year 100 million or something, and I get it. But that's got to be one of the worst trades ever because Amari Cooper is perennally a top 10, 15 wide receiver in the NFL.

Yeah, you saw it on the 50-50 balls, too. If you just throw it up, he will bring them down. He's still very, very good.

He's 29, by the way, another age.

That's crazy, too. All these guys should be 35 playing on the senior tour. There should be a senior tour for the NFL. I actually was thinking to myself watching this game, what do the Browns do next year? Are they going to bring Flacko back?

How about the fact that the Browns paid $200 million to Joshane Watson and in back-to-back years, Jacobe, Berset, and Joe Flacko outplayed him?

Yeah. I don't know what salary Flacko is going to command, but you have to think about it if you're the Browns.

Because he wins a several.

It's not like what he's doing. Yeah, you expect him if he gets banged up. I don't know if he can last an entire season. That's the thing because he is old and he will get knocked around because he's not the most mobile guy in the world. But if he's healthy as he is right now, he is without a doubt, a better option for your team than to Sean Watson.

Yes. Yes. So Joe Flacko is the second Browns quarterback to have 300-plus yards and three straight games. Who's the other one? Which this could be any answer because there's so many Browns quarterbacks.

Kelly Holcom.

Josh McCown in 2015.

Oh, okay. I remember that. That was quite a run. You mentioned the kicker, Dustin Hopkins, pulling his hamstring on the kick return, which I love it when there's a skycam kick return that goes all the way. There's a sick runback. If hypothetically Kareem Hunt was actually the best backup kicker you have on your team, there's no chance you send him after the try one, right? You can't. Just for the discourse, you know what's going to happen to your guy. I think it would be very funny.

Yeah, I think if the TV gets blacked out so there's no cameras.

Yeah. If this game were played in 1941, then you could send them out there. But that would live on an infamy forever because all I saw was like, don't the Browns have another kicker? And I was.

Like, yeah, you got to do. Yeah, there was a couple of guys warming up. It is so classic Browns this whole season. They had a graphic where it was just all the guys that have been injured and all these really good players. They have a pro bowl roster of injuries. And then Dustin Hopkins gets hurt and he's been a really good kicker for them. I think he's the only kicker who's perfect from 50 plus. He's 8 for eight from 50 plus this year. He's been very reliable. For the Browns, it's been their entire season where big win comes with, Oh, we lost an important piece. You wouldn't think he'd be the kicker, but it actually is the kicker. He's a good kicker and the Browns have had kicker problems. I do think the NFL should make a rule where they just maybe they spin a wheel before a game and just randomly a team isn't allowed to use a kicker because it makes the game so much fun being.

Like- It's interesting.

-we have to go for it on every fourth down or is a linebacker going to kick? A kicker getting hurt, no injury is fun, but a kicker getting hurt is actually really fun.

A punner getting hurt is fun, too, because then you have the kicker that goes out there and he tries to pun. Wait, why can't this guy whose job it is to kick a ball, kick a ball? Because they're two very different styles. But I've always said that the player that scores the touchdown should have to kick the extra point. How awesome would that be?

It's a great rule. It's a great rule. It would be an awesome, awesome rule to watch. As for the Texans, they need TJ Shrowd really, really bad. He should win MVP because he looks so sad without him.

Very sad to watch. Unfortunately, case Kenan couldn't get it done, so we were treated to Mills mafia. He's not as fun as I remembered him being. No.

Well, he did get garbage time, so he put up some points. You had the rare case where the Browns pulled all their starters and then had to put them back in because the Texans got an on-side kick and Stefanski was like, Oh, fuck. Maybe I should have to put these guys back in.

Keep your helmets close by, guys.

Yeah. Okay, so next game. The Texans basically have to... I feel like week 18 is going to be their season. They have to win week 18 against the Colts. It feels like that's going to be a winning get-in game. For next game, Falcons 29, Colts 10 don't have a lot other than Taylor Heineke is so much better than Desmond Ritter. Kyle Pits scored a touchdown. I think he has three touchdowns this year, which matches his first two years in the NFL. I didn't even realize he's been in the NFL for three years because I feel like he's perennial rookie guy because he hasn't broken out. The only thing I had for this game, PFT, was if the NFL was ever going to implement a ball game strategy, this was the perfect game. This game, it's two teams. I know the Colts have had a good season. They're still very much in the playoff on, but they had a bad game. Falcons have been disappointing, and they look like they could win the NFC South a month ago, and they've just shit the bed. If you just dressed this game up and just said it was the vacuum cleaner bowl, I would have been more tuned in.

I would have had more fun with it.

So that's what we'll do the week before the playoffs. We'll have the back of our head things for each team, and then we'll also have our ball game match-ups that we would like to see play out. I think the Falcons and maybe the Chargers would be a good ball game too. Just which team can shock you with how they lose in the most grotesque fashion. But this game to me proved that somehow... We are dumb sometimes when it comes to our NFL takes. We have been correct about Heineke over Ritter this entire year from week one. We know both. And the Falcons would be winning that division if Taylor Heineke had been starting the entire season.

Because.

He takes risks. He would be so much better. Yeah. He takes risks and he makes big throws. The word game manager I would never use to describe Taylor Hineke because he's not. He'll fuck up a game in a good way or in a bad way. He's a game wrecker. There we go. That's what he is. He's a game wrecker. No telling which team he'll wreck it for, but he's going to take some chances. He's going to fuck around a little bit, and he's going to give you a better chance to win overall than Desmond Ritter, who just sucks.

Yeah. He's in the nick Moles category where if you tune in for a Taylor Heineke game, you're going to have fun. If you're rooting for Taylor Heineke or you bet on Taylor Heineke, it might not go your way, but you're going to get the price of admission.

Yeah.

This game and the Falcons defense shut down the Colts. Colts couldn't do anything.

Just a quick update on the 49ers-Ravens game. Trent-williams is out with a groin. Kyle Hamilton's in the blue injury tent, and Sam Darnell is in the game right now. We picked a good time to stop watching.

Yeah, this was a fucking beatdown by the Ravens. I didn't see this coming. I took the Ravens, but I thought it was going to be... I took them with the points because I thought it was going to be a close game. I did not think this was going to be 33-12 with eight minutes left and Sam Donald in the game. Yeah, hopefully, Trent Williams is okay. That would suck a lot. Max has got to be thinking one seat again.

He's.

Getting some thoughts. Okay, let's take a quick break for an ad and then we'll keep powering through the games.

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Okay, next game. Jets, Commanders. Jets, 30, Commanders, 28. I'll let you just go, PFT. I have a question afterwards, but that was a great loss for you.

It was a fantastic loss for us. The first half was a terrible loss for us. The first half, I don't want to bore people with hearing about this game anymore than they have to, because it, after all, was the Washington Commanders and the New York Jets. But the first half was some of the worst football I've ever seen played on any level ever, including high school, flag football, peewee leagues where everybody's the same weight. So you have like 60 pound offense to Lyman running around. It was just it was awful football at one point on a punth return—I believe it was Crowder that was returning the pun. He just threw the ball straight up in the air with his own hands. I don't know what that was. That was a nice turnover for us. It was depressing because Sam Howe stunk again. I don't want to do the thing where I'm saying Sam Howe is injured, but something's happened with Sam Howe in the last month where he stinks. He's been awful in the last four games. I don't know what got into him. I don't know if it's the playcalling, if it's him as a quarterback, if it's an injury that he's not talking about because he has gotten hit a lot.

But whatever it is, it's not good because now in back-to-back weeks, you have Jacobi Perset coming into the second half and significantly outperforming Sam Howe as the starter. I'm going to do another film breakdown tomorrow on Ron Rivera on the sidelines because I watched with my mom and she was disgusted by it as well. I recorded every time Ron Rivera was on the sidelines counting the number of words that he said in the game. It was a very, very bad game. It was bad with bad future implications until the very last second where the jets made a field goal and won a meaningless game that will have significant impact on the upcoming draft.

Yes.

Significant. Significant impact. Listen, all week long I wanted the Commanders to lose the game, but I knew that once the whistle blew, once the game started, you only get 17 weeks a year to root for your favorite team. That's precious time that we get to spend watching our favorite football team compete, and it's impossible to root against them and to be rooting for the other team in those moments. Unless it's a very last-second field goal and you bet your sweet ass I was rooting for that ball to go right down the middle. I really was. I'm very happy that it shook out the way that it did because not only did the jets win, we got another loss. We jumped above them in the draft order. Then for what happened later on that night, which we'll get to in a little bit with The Patriots. So yeah, overall, not good for the same howl. It's not good for the Haliban. The Haliban is down bad right now. I feel like the howlband has just been reduced to myself and Max, and it's not looking prompt. I'm going to put my faith, much like you, Big Cab, I'm going to put my faith in the commander's front office.

Whatever they decide to do in the draft, I'm okay.

With it. Yeah, that was my only question. I mean, you can't ignore that Sam Howe, because the problem is for a while there, Sam Howe had a few flashes and games where he looks great. And then he had some bad games where you can say, Well, they do have one of the worst offensive lines and the team sucks. But Jacobi Preset coming in in back-to-back games and significantly outplaying Sam Howe, it's hard because you can't be like, Well, Jacobi Preset's playing with a different team. He's playing with the exact same team. It sucks. I like Sam Howe, but I think that's a good strategy. Just say whatever they want to do, they'll do. That's the only way you could do it because otherwise you just get caught up and emotions get in there. You know what? Let the front office decide.

You know what? As I was watching it, I was thinking to myself, I can't imagine a more insignificant way to win a football game and a more counterproductive way to win a football game than going on the road against the jets. Having your starting quarterback that you're trying to develop into the long-term starter get his confidence shattered by having a backup quarterback in, mount a furious comeback and then winning a game that costs you a draft position. That would have been the worst win of all time. It would have.

It really would have been. And it's tough with Sam Howe because we play this game with quarterbacks all the time where if you show a couple of flashes and you say, Well, that's the guy. He's in there somewhere. And then you start to ignore and explain away all the other stuff. Now it's gotten to a point where it's like maybe the flashes were more of an outlier. I think Sam Howe will be in the NFL for a long time. I think he's done enough this year to prove that. I just don't know, especially if you're drafting third, it seems like the commanders will be smart to possibly take a quarterback.

Maybe his alma mater. Go back to UNC. Yeah, Drake May. I can give you a book about that. Yeah, it would have been really bad. It would have been bad if we won this game. But I don't know. I go back to thinking about how Sam Howe played earlier in the season. It wasn't a fluke. He was good. He made some incredible throws. He was a very, very good quarterback for it felt like two months, two and a half months. And then whatever has happened in the last month has just been deadly to this career. Jacobi Preset gave him some good advice afterwards because he's like, Hey, man, I've been here in this situation. By the way, Jacob Brisset seems like I'm going to nominate him for the the PMT Good Guy of the Week award. I think Joe Bro won a couple of weeks ago. Jacob Brisset should get it this week because he talked to him after the game, was like, Hey, I've been in the same position. You don't know it right now, but once you fast forward five years, you'll be in this league for a while. You'll look back on this and you'll be like, I'm glad I went through that because it made me a better person, made me a better professional.

But it sucks right now. Good guy, Jacobi Preset, and any team would be lucky to have him.

Yeah, I think he could be a starter for some teams next year. He's the best dude ever. He really is. His name rocks, his demeanor rocks. He wears cowboy hats. He rocks. Jacobi Preset. Officially rocks. For the chats, the only thing I had was Joe Douglas and Robert Salah are sticking around. That was announced this week. I guess, cool.

Yeah, we had an all-time-you-think moment where Robert Salah said, There's things that I wish I would have done differently with the backup quarterback situation this year. Oh, that's nice of him to admit.

I don't know about Robert Salah. I do think Joe Douglas has done a good job of building a roster. His mistake was he built a roster that only works with a 40-year-old quarterback who then got injured. You know what I mean? That's really like everything else, their defense is really good. Obviously, their offensive line needs work. They have good skill position players. He's done a decent job drafting. It's just you put it all into one basket, and then when you tear your Achilles four plays in the season, doesn't look so good.

Yeah, Bresaw is really good. Really good. That's what I came away from this game thing is like, that dude, he is legit.

Yeah. Okay. Just legit. Next up, Seahawks, Titans, Seahawks, Gino, game-wining drive. Do you know that Gino leads the League in game-wining drives this year with four?

I did not.

Know that. Yeah. So Seahawks stay alive. A game that they should have won because they're playing Ryan Tana Hill and a dead Titans team, but they still struggled and they needed the game-wining drive. The Seahawks are officially alive. It feels like they actually might be the team that gets in that seventh spot, which we've been talking about forever, that seventh spot in the NFC because the Vikings and the Packers have both died. And so they're right now in the seventh spot. I'm okay with it. I'm okay with the Seahawks. They would check my box of I don't think they can win a playoff game, but they have enough fun players that I'm okay to watch another Seahawks game.

Where are we at right now with the playoff projection? Would it be the Seahawks against the-.

It.

Would be the.

Seahawks against the Eagles. Yes.

Seahawks and the Eagles. And then you have- But the Grams and the Lions.

The Eagles are way better than the Seahawks.

Definitely, yeah. I mean, the Eagles, I don't see them losing in a bird matchup like that.

To Seattle. They haven't played, have they?

No. Well, they haven't played Gino Smith.

Oh, true. Max is just shaking his head. It's just the three of us here and he's just muted shaking his head. Max, you scared of the Seahawks? That would be a must-win.

Okay, all right. Your second consecutive must-win against the Seahawks.

Your on-one and must-wins against Seattle this year. Is that a concern? You're saying you maybe change up the strategy?

Well, against Seattle. But today was must-win. The Eagles won this.

That's true. Okay, congratulations on beating Tarod Taylor. But yeah- Good player. If I were the Lions, I would rather play against the Seahawks, which is crazy because the Seahawks also beat the Lions this year, right?

Yeah, and they beat them last year too. The Seahawks have their number.

But I would rather play just in terms of JuJu, I'd rather play that game than having Matt Stafford come there.

Although I've been thinking about it more like Lions fans, you won the NFC North. They're not the same old Lions. Just do the final boss. Just beat Matt Stafford. We did the right thing. We're on the right path.

I heard from a lot of Lions fans saying that, yeah, that would be the last Infinity Stone in heartbreaking ways to lose. Yes.

I had a bunch of Lions fans just tweeted, That's all I've been thinking about, with no context. Two days later, and I was just like, Yep, I know what this is.

The Ram should sign Barry Sanders and Calvin Johnson for that game.

Who was a Ram?

Yeah.

Who was a Ram? Only other thing I had on this game. So Ryan Tana Hill will not be on the Titans next year. And I was thinking about it what I will miss most about Ryan Tana Hill. And he had this happen in this game. Ryan Tana Hill is the one quarterback who I think this is a stat that I don't know if you can track, but I think he leads the league in Sacks where he is fully cocked to throw and a guy comes right up the middle and he never sees him coming. It's a Ryan Tana Hill masterpiece where it's like he is literally ready to throw. There's just a guy just straight in his face that sacks him perfectly, wraps him up. He had a beautiful one this week where I was like, Yeah, I think I'm going to miss out about Ryan Tane Hill.

Yeah, he's going to be a backup somewhere next year, right?

Yeah, he might even be a starter.

You think some team is going to roll the dice on him?

I mean, have you seen what's happened with quarterbacks this year?

Yeah, he'd be a great backup to have. I just don't know if maybe we don't know. Maybe the book is still out on Ryan Tanehill. Yeah. Ready to take that next step.

There's more chapters to the Ryan Tanehill story. Oh, Sam Donnell getting loose. Okay, next up, Packers 33, Panthers 30. This game drove me insane because I really need the Panthers to lose out and the Packers almost blew it. I was thinking about this. Here's another thing that people can tweet us about. I actually think Matt Lofloor sticking with Joe Barry actually was a great Christmas present for Packers fans. I was thinking about it. Christmas time, you're around your family, and it's like other than how long it took to get there and how's everyone doing? How's your job? Oh, you're going to get settled down, all this shit. You run out of things to talk about. I guarantee you, in the state of Wisconsin, at every Christmas gathering on Christmas Eve, it was just a full discussion about how much they hate Joe Barry. That's a gift because you basically got something where everyone... It's the reverse of politics at the dinner table. Everyone sitting around just being like, Joe Barry is a fucking asshole. We hate him. He's the worst. In a weird way, that's a beautiful gift the Packers fans had on Sunday.

Yeah, no, you're right. That's a nice thing to have where you have a built-in conversation starter.

Everyone's going to.

Agree on. You don't have to worry about playing a board game. You don't have to worry about going around the room and saying the wrong thing to somebody. Joe Barry sucks. We can all agree on that. And he sucks so bad that Bryce Young. Bryce Young for a minute there, I was thinking he might be offensive player of the week until the very end of the game. If he had taken them down and scored a touchdown on that last drive, it would have been Davito, Baker Mayfield, and then Bryce Young that potentially could have been an offensive players of the week.

I meant to say that because you're right and wrong about your Bryce Young. You're dead right, offensive player of the week. You said that that he would have a chance to win it. You were a little wrong. This is why you keep playing Bryce Young and not put in Andy Dalton. Because if you're a Panthers fan, this is all you're hoping for. You don't have a draft pick. You're just hoping that Bryce Young can have a couple of games down the stretch that says he might be good. This was one of those games like he looked good today.

They might have had this one circled just like, keep Bryce in until he plays Joe Berry. Yeah. All we have to do is get him to Joe Barry and then things will be fine.

Joe Berry made Tommy DeVito probably a millionaire for life. Yeah. Think about it.

What a good guy. He made families happy. He's made Tommy DeVito happy. He's made a lot of Carolina Panthers fans less depressed for a week. Good for him.

I think Packers fans probably they get to do this and it sucks that they get to do this. Basically, the way this season is gone, they had the moment where after they beat the Chiefs, I thought they were legitimately going to go to the playoffs, and they look like a really competent team all facets. But they now can say this was a successful rebuilding year because Jordan Love has looked good. And if you can just get rid of Joe Barry, you probably can fix a lot of your problems. They're in that camp of bad season, but a good season, which pisses me off because it's bullshit that they get that. But that is probably how they're thinking.

They get to look at the Detroit Lions here and be like, Listen, this was the year the Detroit Lions won, and then things are going to go back to normal for us.

Next year. That was an insult. Packers fans will take that as an insult.

Why?

To be like, We were on the Detroit Lions path. Yeah. How things have changed. I love it. The Panthers, I'm worried they might win another game.

They play against the Jaguars.

Who are the walking dead.

The Jaguars, they could lose that game.

Who else do the Panthers play? I think they might have Falcons who hopefully will be playing for something. But I really, really need the Panthers. Bucks. If the Bucks have it, the NFC South, they might fuck.

I don't think the Bucks are in a position to take their foot off the gas.

I don't know if they might have the NFC South wrapped up.

Yeah, you got to keep it rolling, though. You can't afford to take a week off if you're the Bucks. If you win that division, you can't back your way into the playoffs.

This would break me if the.

Panthers- You've backed your way into the playoffs all season long. You have to keep your guys going.

It would break me. It would break me if the Panthers found a way to win another game. I got to look at the Cardinals. Cardinals with the Eagles and the Seahawks. Maybe the Seahawks will already be in? It will break me. It will break me. This game almost broke me because the Packers winning this game or losing this game would have been such a fucked up thing for me where I'm like... I was very clear going into Sunday. I was like, I'm not rooting for the Packers. I'm rooting for the Panthers to lose. So thankfully, the Panthers lost. But this game almost broke me. It put me through a lot. A lot.

Yeah, hand up. I didn't watch a single snap of this game until the very end of it. I watched the highlights. I watched all the cutups, but I had no idea about the game flow whatsoever. I was just looking up at the end of the game and I was like, How is this game this close?

Yeah, they were killing him. And it just happened out of nowhere. Okay, speaking of the Jags and the dead corp's Jags, Bucks 30, Jags 12, Baker Mayfield. He's awesome. I'm happy for Baker. He's playing incredible ball, 664 yards, six touchdowns, zero interceptions last two weeks, which are basically must-win games given the playoff setup. And the Jags, well, I have a quote for you, PFT. This is an anonymous quote. Man, was I wrong about this Jaguars team? They are bad. The quarterback is not playing well at all. They have major issues. Who is the moron that thought they could be a Super Bowl team?

Is that Uncle Chaps or Pete Prisco?

That is Pete Prisco. Pete Prisco is finally coped to the fact that he had the Jags in the Super Bowl.

Well, the schedule changed. The Bucks are better than he thought the Bucks were going to be. And the Jags are worse. And there's no way for him to do that. And the Jags are worse. So if you were to go back with this Jags schedule right now and do the entire year all over again, you would end up in this exact same position right now. Pete didn't have the benefit of traveling to the future and seeing what the Jags would look like and how Trevor Lawrence would look and how funny that picture of Trevor Lawrence getting hit would be. Have you seen that picture? Yeah. It's right where it looks like he's melting. It looks like a renaissance painting of a man looking at hell. It looks like a Chernobil survivor in the picture. It's one of the fun... He doesn't look human. It's the funniest picture of the year so far, I think.

It's a future coffee meme because I saw it and I was like, I have to do a Santa one for Christmas Day. But when I saw that, I was like, Jesus Christ. Trevor Lawrence, I know that he's getting shit on a lot right now. People are doing the blind resumes. We were on that a week ago. He is very, very injured. I think he's gotten an injury in every single game for the last month. This week, it was one of the shoulder.

Yeah. I doubt that he's fully healthy from the knee at the start of the suit. He started to get healthier. Then when he had that ankle that got him all fucked up, that doesn't heal overnight.

And a concussion mixed in.

Yeah. So he's banged up. He's the most injured starting quarterback that's still playing right now, I would say. Yeah. And Baker, on the other hand, is as good. I think Baker Mayfield is as good as he's ever been. Yeah. Like even going back to when he was playing for the Browns. I think right now this Baker is as good as Baker's ever.

Played football. Yeah, it's fun to watch. And the Bucks, I don't think they're going to...

Well, I.

Mean, we're watching the Ninersget killed although they're about to maybe make it a one-score game. I don't know. This NFL season is so crazy. Are there any teams that you definitively would say have no chance of getting to the Conference Championship game that are currently in the playoffs?

The Jaguars.

You're the Jaguars. You're right. You're the Jaguars and the Colts. But the Colts will maybe be replaced. Yes. So it's the Jaguars and the Colts. And in the NFC, I don't think you can say... There's not one team that I would be like, I'd put my life on them not getting to the least the conference championship game. I'm not saying it's like I'd bet on the Bucks or the Seahawks or the Rams.

But it would- I was going to say Seahawks would be the.

Other team. But it's like winning two games with the way this NFL season is gone. It's not the craziest.

But the Seahawks would have to beat the Eagles in the first round of the playoffs, and that's not happening. That's true. So I think it's the Seahawks and the Bucks would be my first two. Okay, we know the books out there on the Cowboys. Would you consider the Bucks to be a good team?

Oh, no.

Because the Cowboys, they're not a good team?

No. Okay, they're a good team, relatively speaking. In this year's NFL, they're a good team.

So the Cowboys, in your internal algorithm, the Cowboys would be able to go on the road and beat them in Tampa Bay?

Yes. We'll get to the Cowboys game, but yes. Okay. Yes, I do think they could do that. The other thing I had from this game is it's time to start putting more respect on Mike Evans' name. So Mike Evans, I alluded to, he's 30 years old. Mike Evans scored two touchdowns on Sunday. So he is now one of five players to have five plus seasons with 12 or more reception touchdowns. Touchdowns. I don't know why I said it like that. The list is Jerry Rice, Teo, Randy Moss, Marvin Harrison, and Mike Evans. Pretty crazy company. I also looked at it. Going back to him being 30 years old, let's just say Mike Evans plays for five more years. Not crazy, right? Like five more years. I'm even saying, let's say he starts to tail off. He's been in the league for 10 years. He's at 1,000 yards every single year. Every single year he's been in the NFL, he's had 1,000 yards. Let's just say he plays five more years and goes 750 yards, five touchdowns every single one of those years. That's a big drop-off from Mike Evans, what we've seen. Mike Evans would be seventh all-time in receiving yards and seventh all-time in touchdowns.

The only other guys that would be top seven with him in both those categories are Jerry Rice, Larry Fitzgerald, Randy Moss, and Teo. When you say those four names, you don't think Mike Evans belongs, but Mike Evans belongs. He belongs in that group. It's crazy. So put more respect on Mike Evans.

And he doesn't look like he's slowing down now. He doesn't look like he's lost a step. Hands are still good as ever, still able to out-jump anybody. I wouldn't be shocked to see him continuing on for the next five years, having more than 750 a season. But yeah, remember the start of the year when everybody was like, They should trade Mike Evans. Can we get Mike Evans on a better team with somebody that can get him the ball? He had that team. He had that team the entire time. What team do you think he would have been more successful on that was in the hunt for Mike Evans at the time? Maybe the Chiefs.

If if he was.

On the Chiefs, that would probably be pretty good.

Yeah, it would be really good. But yeah, Mike Evans is the first ballot hall of Famer. I'll just say the names again. If he finishes top seven in both, he would be in the list with Jerry Rice, Larry Fitzgerald, Randy Moss, and Teo. I mean, those are the three of the best receivers of all time. You could make some case for Larry Fitzgerald.

Probably like three of the top seven receivers.

Of all time, yeah. That's crazy, though. Mike Evans, it should be in that list, and he will go down as one of the best receivers of all time, which is crazy because maybe it's because he played for the Bucks. If Mike Evans played for not to get media bias and everything, but if Mike Evans played for the Cowboys or the giants, we'd probably be respecting him more. But I'm here right now saying we need to respect Mike Evans more.

Mike Evans was so good that he got Johnny Menzel drafted in the first round.

Think about that. Think about that. Think about that. It's crazy. It's crazy. So yeah, the Jags, though, they're dead. They're dead. I feel bad for our friend, Chaps. I just go back to that Monday night game before the Bengals, and he was walking around with his chest puffed out thinking that he was a cock of the walk, and they have not won a game since.

Yeah, it was just four in a row. Four losses.

In a row for the Jagby. They look like worse and worse and worse every single game.

This was the worst one. Yeah. You can forgive them losing to the... The last one was the Ravens. You can look past that a little bit, but to get your teeth kicked in by the Bucks, not looking promising. I'm very much looking forward to betting on the Browns if they play against the Jags in the first round of the playoffs.

Yes, I would agree with that. We've seen that. Okay, next game. Bear's Cardinals, Bear's 27, Cardinals 16. We can do this quickly. Happy for Justin Fields. The Bear's, this is why the Browns loss hurts even more because I thought they were going to be able to beat the Cardinals. I think they're going to be able to beat the Falcons next week. It hurts that much more because they would have actually been playing for something in week 18. But yeah, I'm happy for Justin Fields. He was high-fiving everyone, all the fans after. I know he's got one more home game. Who knows what's going to happen in the future? But he played well. That run where he looked back and was just like, No one can touch me. And he also had no... Dj Moore got hurt in the first play, and he came back in, but he was banged up. Colcomet got hurt. I know the interception, Justin Fields played well and the Bear's defense continue to play well, made stops when they need to. And that's all I got for this game.

Yeah. If they do bring him back next season, I just don't want them to do exactly what they did this season and do it again and be like, we got to protect him. We got to teach him how to be a pocket pastor. We got to put in this new offense. Let Justin Fields be Justin. Let him roam free. He's a free range quarterback.

He's not.

Meant to.

Be cooped up. Yeah. I've heard this talked about, I think Bill Simmons threw this out there, and I've seen people tweet me this. Our good friend, Tom Franelli, has thrown this out there as well to me. Justin Herbert for the number one pick would be the greatest thing in my life. And I thought about it some more. So you got to get the number one pick. But what do we know about the chargers? The Chargers are in cap hell. They need a full reset for their entire team. You know that owner cares about getting fans in that stadium, if they can draft Kale Williams, maybe even get Lincoln Riley to be his coach, and then give the bears Justin Herbert, and Justin Herbert immediately becomes the best bears quarterback of all time without even throwing a pass. I would do that in a second. I don't know if the charges would ever entertain it, but I would do that in a second. And my mind has wandered to that. I get a little rocked up when I think about it.

We're doing fan fiction right now. Yeah, this is fun fan fiction to think about. You don't even have to learn a new name just to get a new Justin. That could work just for the fact that the charges don't like paying people. Right. Having a massive contract on the books like that, it's like I'd rather not be writing these checks every month. There's somebody else that's, Wait, they're going to write the checks and I'm going to get the number one overall pick?

That sounds pretty good to me. And he's a USC guy who's won a Heisman at USC, and you're trying to win fans in the L. L. A. Area? Come on. That's not crazy, right?

No. I think that would be good for you because Justin Herbert is a fucking stud.

He'd be the greatest thing ever.

Kind of a social media quarterback, but a pretty good quarterback nonetheless.

I would go finding every Justin Herbert hater and just skull fucking him on the daily.

It'd be crazy. You would become a big social media guy. Yeah. I would just- Social media, yeah.

-go.

Nuts. Yeah. I mean, any team would probably... Most teams would be lucky to have Justin Herbert. It's not a crazy sounding trade. I wouldn't be opposed to it if I.

Were you. And he's 25.

If the Bear's- He's three years younger than Leonard Furnett. That's crazy.

If the bears got Justin Herbert for the number one pick... You know, I'm going to stop myself. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to say it.

Were you going to suck a dick?

No, I was going to say I think the bears are going to win the Super Bowl in the next three years. Okay. This is fan. Let me have these... My mind wanders and it's been wandering to these happy places that's beautiful out and it's just... Although I don't know if he could play in the cold. He is a West Coast kid.

He's a.

Cali- I just brought myself back down to earth.

But this is what people that root for awesome teams don't understand is in the offseason, when we get to indulge ourselves in these fan fictions, like Lamar Jackson is going to sign with the Commanders or Bill Belichick is going to be our next head coach, where we just dive into fantasy land and completely reject reality. That's so much fun because we get to play through all the scenarios in our head. We're like, Oh, we could win three, four Super Bowels. So we get that same feeling of winning Super Bowl in our spank bank, which my spank bank is robust right now. It's overflowing. Whereas teams that actually have legitimate contenders like Max are miserable all the time because they have to deal with the fear of losing and the what ifs. Then every team except for one doesn't win a Super Bowl, then they get upset. Then meanwhile, we're just over here basically getting high on our own supply, like hot-boxing ourselves with NFL fantasies. It'll never happen, which I actually think is way more fun than actually winning a Super Bowl.

Way more. I've played it out in my head. Tried the number one pick for Justin Herbert. You got the cap space. You take a lineman with your other first round pick, which is going to be somewhere in the 8-12 range. Then every other pick after that, you just get wide receivers and you just get as many wide receivers as possible. Defense is set. You got DJ more, you got Cole commit. Just get as many wide receivers as you can get. Probably trade Justin Fields for a second or third rounder. Maybe the Falcons, that would be a perfect. That's the thing is like I'm not a Justin Fields hater. I want him to succeed. But if you had that chance of Justin Herbert, no one would even blink. You have to do it. I want to find a nice re-homing situation for Justin Fields, and then we're off and running. I shouldn't have said this all out loud. I should have said this.

All out loud. I should have said this all out loud. What if you train him to the Falcons and then you get Drake London?

Perfect. And Kyle Pett. I got to stop.

Kyle Pett isn't doing anything.

Listen, I have to stop. But just know that this is where my happiness comes from, is these type of things I'm doing.

Get Shane and make you a photoshot.

Jim Harbough wants to coach? Jim Harbough's contract? I think if he signs that new contract, he can't coach in the NFL next year.

Yeah. That'll be the ultimate test of loyalty to Shane. He does the graphics and the Photoshop for us. He's a diehard Chargers fan. I know. See if he'll make you a Justin Herbert, Bear's Photoshop.

He won't. He'll fuck it up.

Just to look at.

I need the Cardinals to win another game, though. In terms of games that you were talking about the Commanders, how it would have been a very bad win, this would have been a very good loss for the Bear because the Cardinals would have basically made the Panthers the number one pick, and the bears could have done that. I know guys are going to fight like Erebus, has these guys playing hard. But yeah, in terms of games that you would have liked to maybe lose, this was one of them.

I still think the number one pick is going to be yours. I wouldn't try too hard.

About that. I'm knocking on wood. Okay, let's take a break and then we'll talk Dolphins Cowboys, which we got a lot to talk about. Then we'll wrap up with The Monday Games.

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Okay, Dolphins, Cowboys, Dolphins 22, Cowboys 20, the narrative bowl PFT, the Dolphins beat a good team. The Cowboys can't win on the road. We could do the hot takes, but I actually have a more reason take with for you. I want you to maybe assess it. Oh, you want to do hot takes first?

Yeah. So here's my thing is the Cowboys are frauds. Frauds. But the Dolphins are also frauds because all they prove is that they can beat a fraud.

And they just prove they're good at kicking field goals.

Yeah. So we didn't learn anything from this game whatsoever. I take back everything we said on Friday that we're going to take the winners, say that they could win the Super Bowl and the losers say they're out. I think both teams are out. So the Dolphins proved to me once and for all fraudulent. They'll either be the one seed, the two seed, or maybe the six seed, depending on how the last couple of games of the season go. Because if you do the close your eyes, Dolphins, Ravens, who you.

Got, Big Cat? Ravens.

Dolphins, Bulls, last week of the season, who you got?

Bulls. That depends on how hot it is.

Yep. Okay, so we'll have to look ahead at the weather on that. But yeah, I just love the fact that our own fraud logic has gotten so circular that we can now spin ourselves into saying that dolphins actually stink because they beat a shitty team. The Cowboys.

Are under 500 team on the road.

Yeah. So I don't know if this was your more reason take, but my actual take watching this game was that these were two good teams that played each other very competitively and tried very hard to minimize mistakes. And it was going to be a close game no matter what. And the Dolphins proved that they can win down the stretch. And that was a great last drive from Toa to end the game. I think that it actually proved in a weird way that they're both good teams.

Yes. So that's my reason to take DAX drive to take the lead was like, This is what you want out of DAX. Big moment on the road. Nothing's really looking easy. You're not the front runner cowboys right now. That was a big boy drive by DAX. And the Dolphins defense, the pressure they got, Van Ginkgo, Badger, he was all over the place. Chubb, really, really good. We all knew that. Yeah, I came away being like, both these teams are going to be very tough outs in the playoffs, and especially for the Cowboys. The Dolphins get a lot of credit because this was the game they needed. They needed to win a game against a team that is considered a very good team and do it with defense. I think it was basically both these teams are front runners, where when they kill someone, it looks like they're the best team on earth. When they get into the slog, when they get into... This felt like a playoff game in the fact that it wasn't perfect, but it was big moments, who can convert on third down, all these things. The Dolphins definitely impressed me. I flipped my narrative on the Dolphins a month ago because I thought Vickangio will just figure it out.

I do think that they're going to be like they're one of those teams that if they're in the Super Bowl, I wouldn't be shocked. No way in the AFC would I be shocked. They have everything. And if it's clicking, they can beat anyone. But the Cowboys, it's funny how the narratives work in the fact that if the Cowboys had just not handed the ball to a fullback who has four career NFL rushes on the goal.

Line- Let's put some respect on Hunter Lepkee's name, the guy that had a story and career. I understand.

But if.

They don't- He's a.

Low man trophy winner. They don't do that. The Cowboys probably win that game and the whole narrative's flip there. And more than that really feels like the Cowboys could use a guy who can run between the tackles, who can get those hard yards, who can maybe score big touchdowns.

Maybe a guy who wears a helmet that's so customized that he looks like.

A car. Yeah, maybe a guy who scored a touchdown two hours after this game on Sunday Night Football, the seven-point dogs. That Tony Pollard run where he just was like, I'm fast. I could probably get to the pile on, No, you know what? I'm going to just cut it inside and just get bodied by a linebacker. I don't feel bad for Cowboys fans, but they win that game if they have a Zika, I do believe that. They're missing that part of their... They have struggled in the red zone all year, and Tony Pollard around the goal line has been a disaster. And if they have Zika, Elliot, I think they win that game.

If you're a Cowboys fan, you have a legitimate ref excuse too, because it did seem like they missed a lot of calls on holding. On Mike Carson's- On Mike Carson, yeah. Yeah. So you have a legitimate reason where you can be like, Oh, we would have won this game if the refs didn't fuck us. But then on the other hand, the refs also fucked the dolphins on a couple calls. There was one call in particular where they called ruffing the Passer. And I forget, was it Williams that landed on deck and he tried to pick his hands up in midair and move in midair. But unfortunately, the NFL rulebook and Isaac Newton's second law of motion, they run into conflict on how you distribute force. Ideally, the NFL would like the defensive tackle to levitate in midair off the quarterback as you're falling through on your hit. Unfortunately, it's impossible to do that due to physics. That was one of those calls where I was watching it with some people that, I'll put it this way, they've been watching football for a while. I thought that there was a good chance that the TV was going to get turned off.

We don't watch the world of football in this room. Put skirts on them. Yeah, exactly. Put flags and skirts and let's just play powder puff instead. That would have been a valid excuse for the Dolphins fans too. But I do think that that Mike the Parsons, he probably missed out on three or four holding calls on.

That game. But that's yeah, I mean, that was it felt like one of those coin flip games where I went in trying to say we called it the fraud bowl. I wanted to have a definitive answer on both these teams and be like, Dolphins beat them by 20. Dolphins are for real. The Cowboys win by 30 like Dolphins are frauds. I walked away just being like, both these teams are really good and they're going to be very toughouts. Yeah, it sucks when you want a narrative to go one way. I think we both came to the same conclusion. That was a hard fought game. That a coin flip game that one play goes a different way and it's a different result. Two of them, that drive that he did have to get the field goal, that was a big boy drive. That was a big boy drive against a tough pass rush, making the big throws. And Jason Sanders, what, he hit 350 yarders? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it sucks. I'm mad at ourselves, PFT, that we actually have to put the narratives aside and be like, Both these teams are really good.

But here's what we can do, though, is if the Dolphins do lose their next two games, then we can say, well, the Dolphins are frauds and also the cowboys are frauds too, because they lost to these Dolphins who now we know stink.

Yeah, true.

So there'sit. Let's put the narrative on pause. Okay. It's like Magic 8-ball. Answer not so clear. Ask again. Yes. That's what we're going. We're going to just roll it over into this week. And then if the lions go down and shit pump the cowboys and the dolphins lose to the ravens, then we can be like, Okay, so now we understand that what we saw last week was just two mid-teams playing each other very evenly.

Yes. Yeah, exactly. Mike McCarthy, by the way. We're getting into fat and dumb Mike McCarthy's own. He looks fat and dumb a few times this game where his brain doesn't work fast enough to compute what's happening. It's because it was wet.

When he gets wet, he.

Gets fatter. He was wet. He was wet. But yeah, that was a great game. I mean, it wasn't a great played game. It wasn't like fireworks, but that was a tough, hard fought game that had big moments and big drops. You know how we've.

Said we used to have Warren Sharp on the show and our theory was that the ball travels farther at night. Just something about watching a ball fly through the air at night. Football looks different if it's a nighttime game, if it's a primetime game. I guess in this case, it was after the sun went down. Mike McCarthy, his face does look fatter at night. Yeah, it does. That's indisputable. His eyes get further apart the later on in the day that it gets. Then he goes to sleep and all the swelling goes down and everything compresses again. But later on in the afternoon, he starts to get almost like an owl face where it's just like it's out to hear and he has 180 degree vision.

Yeah. Mike McCarthy's dumb season is rapidly approaching. Anything else on this game?

Yeah, Alkinholt is top hurdling people.

Yes, Alkinholt does need to do that. Dolphins should always wear the throwbacks and those end zones are cool. Yeah, end zones are great.

It will be.

Cool to see a Dolphins' playoff game. The heat is always... I know that it's not that hot in Miami right now, but I feel like everyone is just always gassed in these games, which adds a fun wrinkle.

Yeah, it's cool to see that in December, January. I would like to make one change to the Dolphins uniform, though. I love the throwbacks. Throwbacks are awesome. The color scheme is great. I like the helmet. I wish that the dolphin that's on the helmet, that's wearing a helmet, I wish that helmet had another Dolphins on it.

Oh, so just an M instead of an M.

That Dolphins helmet needs to haveIt's a dolphin wearing a helmet. I think the helmet says M on it.

I think.

I want that dolphin to be wearing a helmet that has a picture of a dolphin wearing a.

Helmet on it. I agree. I concur. Yeah, no, that never happened. Yeah, that old dolphins with the M, that logo rocks. They should never have changed it. We should really just... I wish we had the power to just be like, You guys, stop. This is your best logo.

Don't fuck with it. You don't have to change it just to change it. Right. I know you want to sell more shit, but it's not good. You're going to sell a bunch of crappy shit. Right.

Okay, Sunday Night Football. Hank Stout here. Patriots 26, Broncos 23, but we do have PFT, Patriots fan. Big win for your boys.

Yeah, listen, do your job. They hate us because they ain't us. No one thought that we were going to be able to pull this win out, but that's Bill Belichick. He's the best coach in the history of the NFL for a reason. It turns out that if you put a scenario in front of Bill Belichick where maybe on his way out the door, he might be able to give a big middle finger and fuck over a draft pick for your team on the way out, he's going to do everything that he possibly can to win a game. So yeah, credit to my patriot. The Patriot Way is alive and well. I think we're just now seeing guys start to buy in. So who knows? Maybe even running back next year with Bailey, Zappi, and Bill. We'll see what's going to happen. But it felt like a vintage Patriot's Night playing against the Broncos. Remind me of some of those old Payton-Brady matchups that we all love so very deeply. It was a great game for my pets. Very happy to see them pull out this W. Very meaningful win to me personally as a Patriots fan.

Their defense is good. Dave tweeted and he was... Actually, maybe he was serious. He was like, if the Patriots are in the playoffs, they'd be the toughest out. I don't know if that's true, but they would not be a team people. Their defense is good. Bailey Zappi played well, and the Broncos just ran out. We've been talking about it. I know Broncos fans that's got to suck because the season turned around and you're like, It's been bad for the Broncos since Payton left. But their luck just ran out. Even the fact that they got Bailey Zappi, they get them to fumble on the first play from Scrimage and they can't score a touchdown from the six-yard line. Then you have one of the worst kickoff returns I've ever seen by the Broncos, where he just threw the ball backwards. Their luck has run out. I also remember last year when Nathaniel Hackett was struggling with the clock and they had to bring in that dude to help him. Does Sean Payton need that dude? I don't know.

I don't know what's going on in Sean Payton's head. He seems like he's just angry all the time.

That end-of-game sequence was so clearly the Patriots being like, We're playing for overtime. There was, I think, 50 seconds left, and they ran the ball, I think, twice, and then they got a big pass and they're like, All right, fuck it, we'll do it. But Sean Payton called two timeouts. I guess you're trying to get the ball back with like 30 seconds left, but that's a situation where it's like if they're playing for overtime, just let's go to overtime, right? Because it worked so poorly against them where the Patriots get one big play and they're like, All right, fuck it. I guess we'll go win this game now.

I agree with Sean Payton on that one because I didn't see the Patriots even trying to get down the field.

Right, but just let it go to overtime because if you call time out and you give them a chance to maybe get a first down, then they're going to flip it and be like, All right, fine. We're going to go score a first down. There was not enough time left. If you use all your time-outs, you're going to get the ball back. If the Patriots had the pun with, I don't know, 40 seconds left, no time-outs. I don't know. I feel like if someone's in that situation saying, Let's go to overtime, you just go to overtime. Instead of begging them to maybe take a shot.

That to me was like a coin toss one where it's like, I could see the justification either way if a coach wanted to try to extend the game or if they wanted to just like, Okay, you can just run it out. Because on one hand you'd be like, Oh, this coach is a pussy for not using his timeouts. That was close enough where I didn't really have a problem either way. The big impact of this game was on the draft pick, though. By winning this game, the commanders take the patriot spot in the draft. Many people are speculating Bill Belichick leaving the Patriots at the end of the season, possibly going to the commanders, giving them a gift. Now, in the very last game of the season, it's going to be the Patriots against the jets. And if hypothetically, Bill Belichick had it in his mind that this would be a very beneficial game because I think the way it's going to shake out with tie breakers, I think going into that last week, I think the Patriots might overtake the Commanders in the draft pick because of strength of schedule. I think that if they have that matchup and if Belichick is going to the Commanders, Belchick will figure out a way to beat the New York Jets one last time.

Well, he hates the Jets.

He hates the Jets. And then give the Patriots a worse pick, give his potential new team a better pick. That's my fan fiction world that I'm living in right now, and I actually think that it might come true. And that to me will be my.

Super Bowl. I like it. I'm in for it. Bro's got to support each other's fan fiction more.

Listen, you know me. I've been a big supporter of everything that's been going on in New England, from the Patriots dynasty to the Lighthouse. So I'm not going to give up on Bill yet. I think Bill can beat the jets one last time.

Okay, going to today, Raiders 20, Chiefs 14. Chiefs are bad. The Chiefs are so bad that Aden O'Connor last completed pass in this game was with two minutes and one second left in the first quarter. It's the longest stat hole had this. It's the longest to end a game without a completed pass for a winning team since at least 1999. Killy Smith had week eight 2,000. He had 24 seconds left in the first quarter. He went two for nine in the game. Aden O'Connor finished the game after that completed pass with two minutes left in the first quarter. 0 for 10, zero yards with four kneels over those final three quarters. That's what just beat the Kansas City Chiefs. The Raiders defense was awesome. Samir White, ice the game away. The backup to Jacobs, who's been playing well. The Chiefs are in trouble. Chiefs are in trouble. They're bad.

They're in big trouble. That defense doesn't look so great if you're getting gashed a little bit in the running game. The offense wasn't very good either. Oh, so bad. There were so many plays where my homes get the ball, he dropped back about seven yards, and then he'd shuffle up into the line of scrimage, almost get sacked by a defensive tackle, and then run to the outside, and then wait for what seemed like six seconds. No receivers open downfield, and then he just have to either run the ball out of bounds or throw it out of bounds. It seems like there's something significant broken with the Chief's offense, especially. Their defense needs to be better, but the offense looks like this is not a scenario where you can flip a switch and figure things out.

No. The difference is not having Eric be enemy, having Matt Nagee, having everyone drop balls, including Travis Kelsey, who I did see Taylor Swift show up to the game with Santa Claus, which I'm sure there were kids watching and they're like, Wait, why is Santa Claus the chief's game? I thought he delivered all the presents last night. Why is he awake right now? Shouldn't he be resting? Taylor Swift probably ruined Santa Claus for thousands and thousands of children across America today.

I tweeted that out because my four-year-old son, Chris, walked in and he saw Santa Claus in the box with Taylor Swift. Santa was in her box. He said, Dad, we just opened presents. You said, Santa just dropped these off. How come he's on TV right now? I was like, I don't know what to tell you, Chris. I've been lying to you your entire life. Now he's packing up his bags. He's going to move out. That sucks as a parent. You never want to see that. I just got discovered to be living a massive, massive lie. And you're right. It's like, when is enough enough? How many families? How many homes does she need to break up and parents and children does she need to drive apart before we say, Okay, we've seen enough, Ms. Swift. And then up in the box, I don't know if you saw this big cat. She said, Oh, my God. Oh, no. On Christmas. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. You can't say that. You can't take the Lord's name in vain on Christmas Day like that. And this is the role model that we're looking at now. And it's sad to see that this is what the NFL has become.

It's disgusting. She ruined Christmas for all these children. I know Swifty's, they have their playbook. They'll call us misogynistic. Might I remind you, I have a daughter. My dog right here, female. My wife is also female. So how could I be misogynistic when I have three females living in my house?

And it is my house. Some of my favorite parents are women. And Big Cat, I love your bitch. She's right behind you on the couch.

Right here. See that? That's my bitch right there.

That's your bitch.

I fucking love my bitch. So Swiftys will say we're misogynistic, but you show me a bitch I love more than this one right here. Nope. Yeah.

I grew up with a bitch. And listen, this pocket, we got bitches for days. So don't bring that to me, okay? Don't. And I will say this about Travis. Oh, well, one more thing about Ms. Swift and her appearance at the game. It's a big rules for me, not for the situation, I guess, because she walked in with Santa and who knows who Santa was being played by. But Santa Claus brought in his sack and who knows? He might have had alcohol or narcotics in there. I don't know. I didn't see what was inside because it was an opaque sack. And anyone that's ever been to an NFL game knows that if you want to go to a game, you have to carry your belongings in a clear plastic bag that must fit into a certain surface area. So apparently, Taylor Swift doesn't have to abide by those same rules as the tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of other normal NFL fans have to abide by when we go to games. So any normal person would have had to check that bag at the door, but not Ms. Swift. She's too good for that.

It's disgusting. She's ruining America.

The world.

The world. The world.

I'd say she already has ruined the world. It's not ruining anymore. Fine planet we used to.

Have here. Yeah. I wait the response that will undoubtedly get. Just know that you can't hurt me. I'm in my basement right now. I'm podcasting for my basement. My life's going well, so nice try.

Yeah. Listen, I still live with my mom. You know who else lived with his mom? Jesus Christ.

All right, so clip that, Max. I do have an important announcement after the last few days. My third son is now number one. My daughter's been dumped. She's gone to two. I just wanted to get that off. We'll keep that out of the clip. But yeah, the new power rankings in my house is the six-month-old is number one, daughter number two, eldest son number three. That's just what it is right now. The situation remains fluid. When someone asks me, I'm just going to have to answer honestly until the next rankings come out. It's just how it's gone.

It's the computer.

Yeah. Well, I mean, the baby is at a point where he's smiling and laughing and everything's funny and you can tickle him. It's like... And he's not having two and a half year old meltdowns.

What you're saying is your daughter should smile more?

Yeah, probably. Okay. Laught more. Last thing on this game, Jack Jones, that was awesome. He had a PIC 6 and- Grinch. He grinched. Yeah, he tried to give it to a kid and then took it away, which I love. It's a rivalry game. Fuck that. He said on.

Twitter that was not true.

There.

Was actually an.

Adult that was trying to steal it from the kid, and he was taking.

It back from the adult. I don't want.

To hear that. Fuck you, Max. You're no better than Taylor Swift right now. You just ruined that for us.

You know what, Max? He said it was so funny.

You have to see the tweet.

All right. You're being a Grinch right now. You're being a Gritch by not letting us believe that he was being a Gritch. No, because.

I didn't snatch the ball from that kid. It was from that black dude who.

Tried to take it.

It was from the black dude who.

Tried to take it. Watch it again, Lollipop. Watch it again.

Lollipop is a great line. And then he Grinched himself on Instagram.

I thought that he was taking away from that kid. He also spilled that kid's drink on him, which is awesome. I thought he was taking away from the kid. And I thought that we're we're interesting is like, that is the next Chief's fan and Blackface origin story right there. That kid they got the Christmas ball taken.

Away from him. We also had, and I don't know if David Jacob, who works ESPN, very funny guy. I don't know if he came up with it, but I'm going to give him credit for coming up with it. This is way better than any score, Gammy, ever. So Jake, suck on this. He said that this was the first time ever we had a fart and a taint in back-to-back plays. A fart is a fumble and a return for a touchdown, and a taint is a touchdown after interception. So pretty cool. I don't know when we've last had that.

I don't know if does that guy actually work for ESPN or is that just his Twitter bio to be like, Yeah, I'm putting out some.

Bullshit- No, it's Jacob. He worked at Grandad. Oh, it is? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jacob does... He did this show with Jaylen Rose.

Yeah, he's a very funny guy. I didn't know it was him.

Okay. Yeah, no, I'm giving him credit because he'll fart and attain. I'm mad that I didn't come up with that.

Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. But if you're the Raiders, I think now you have to look in the mirror and say, Antonio pierce needs to be the head coach. His message before this game, according to Tracy Wolfson, was the message is hatred, violence, and pain. Oh, fuck yes. This is going to be a violent game.

Fuck yes.

There will be no better head coach for the Raiders. They should move the team back to Oakland and have Antonio pierce coach the...

Because this is like the perfect culture. He's a Raiders fan. He grew up a Raiders fan.

It's the perfect culture fit. Yeah, Rich Pisaac would have been awesome as Raiders head coach. You missed out on him. You should have probably kept Tom Cable around for a while just so you could beat the crap out of his assistant coaches. That's a great culture fit too. Antonio pierce should be the next Raiders.

Head coach. I joked on Xvideos. Com. It was one of those jokes that I know that it probably hit too close to home for Raiders fans. But I said that Antonio pierce has done a good enough job as the Raiders interim that Mark Davis will offer $200 million to Lincoln Riley because it does feel like he's always going to maybe do that. I was like, Yeah, this guy, the Rich Pesacea. No, let's get Josh McDain. I was like, this guy's done a great job. He's got us playing hard. Yeah, oh, this shiny, flashy toy over here. Let me overpay for him.

Yeah. Where's that money going to come from, though? That's the thing. I think Mark Davis might have painted himself into a corner with the last two mistakes that he made where he won't be able to go ahead and make a third. He's made so many fuck-ups that he's actually preventing himself from.

Fucking up again. He might say to Antonio pierce like, You love the Raiders? How much you love the Raiders? Will you coach them for free?

Yeah, you'd probably do it.

Can I shit with a P. F. Chang's gift card?

I love Antonio pierce as a message of hatred, violence, and pain.

I love that. If we don't get Mark Davis on for Super Bowl week, someone listening right now has an in with Mark Davis, please. It's all we want. We want to go to lunch with Mark Davis at P. F. Changs and do an interview there. You have people in the background. I don't care. It will sound terrible, but it's all we want. We might just have to say it's like a white whale.

You know what? Here's what we'll say. Our treat will pay.

Yeah.

I'll match. Mark Davis. Mark Davis, we will take you out to P. F. Changs if you're choosing in the greater Las Vegas area and we're buying. You know what?

I'm going to one up that for us. We both have to pay. Mark Davis, you come on part of my take. We will give your favorite P. F. Changs our credit card and we'll say, All week, this guy eats for free. All week. All week. You can have as much as you want on us.

Yeah. And we'll cover tip too.

You know what? Let's just double ourselves. Two weeks. How much damage can one man do? Imagine if that ends the podcast. That'd be a.

Very funny way to end it.

We shut down and come back from Vegas and there's just like a foreclosed sign on the Chicago HQ.

I think we'd have to put in some stipulation like, He has to eat it.

You.

Have to be present eating a meal for each one of these. You can't just go up there and do two lunches, launch, dinner, fourth meal. No, you have to be eating every meal. Yeah.

You're allowed to bring home leftovers, but let's be reasonable about it. Let's be reasonable about it. We've made our demands. We welcome your response.

Yeah, no wine. You could put us out of business with the wine selection.

That's true. That's true. Do you think P. F. Changs has like a old cellar with 1940, war era French wine that's never.

Been opened? No, they've got a seller and it's got 1930 Mad Dog, Night Train. They have the largest collection of Thunderbird west of the Mississippi.

They have a Mai Tai from 1923. Still sitting there.

This Thunderbird is so good that it costs seven dollars a bottle. Forget about the noise and pressure around fitness at New Year's. I use a Peloton bike. I'm getting back on my bike in the New Year. I'm going to get back in shape. But guess what? You shouldn't feel any pressure to have your body ready in three weeks. It's a process. You got to find joy in the process. The best way to do that is with Peloton. This New Year, Peloton is making it easier to get started with up to $600 off Peloton Bike Purchases and two months free membership. Shop Peloton's New Year's offer at onepeleton. Com/deals. That's onepeleton. Com/deals. Terms apply.

All right, wrapping up two more games. Eagles, giants, max. It looked great. It looked great for the first half. Then it got very scary. Win's a win. But have any of your concerns been alleviated?

Allegviated?

No.

But I'm not going to be.

Upset about this game. So the answer is no. Allegviated? No.

But we.

Can build off this.

Max, would you say that you were optimistic when you tweeted season over? We can't-.

I.

Retweeted that. -nothing that I tweet in the middle of a football.

Game should.

Come back to follow me.

Into this podcast.

100 % agree with you. Is the season over, Max?

What did you say?

Was the season over?

Well, there was one play that saved the season.

It.

Was after the Picks 6, they go to third and 20. That was the third and 20 to AJ Brown was the play that saved the season. Because if they don't pick that up, they're fucked. That Boston Scott Fumble was so funny.

I mean, that was the worst thing since the Buffell.

So funny. How does that happen? How does your own player tackle you into a fumble to start the second half? In Shout Out Memes, he had a great headline. He's like, When Harry and Marv have to rob an eight-year-old. Yeah, that was good.

Yeah, that was good. That's exactly.

What it looked like. That was insane. I watched that movie today. That's a perfect description.

It really is. It really is. Yeah, win's a win. We have to, unfortunately, say goodbye to our Italian. He was the chosen one, Tommy DeVito. He's had a rough week. He got benched. He had an ad on social media where he was doing an ad for Rayo's sauce. Italians were not happy about that. They were upset about the canned sauce in his house. Gravy. Yeah. Listen, I don't regret anything that we said on this podcast about him. I'm happy we enjoyed that moment. I'm sad it's over, but all good things must come to an end.

I don't think we've seen the last of Tommy DeVito. Something tells me Tommy might be popping. Listen, he got bench for Tarrod Taylor. And if you know anything about the history of Tarrod Taylor, you can't help but root for the guy. He's had so many fluke injuries, weird shits happen to him. He got bench for Nathan Peterman at one point where he threw like five picks in a half. He goes out to San Diego. He's going to get the starting job. I think they were still in San Diego, I might be wrong. He goes out there and gets his ribs broken. He tries to take a painkilling shot to play through the pain, get back in the game. When he takes a painkilling shot, they puncture his lung, and he has to go to the hospital. Then he's out for weeks, and then Justin Herbert takes over, and then it's on and on and on for him. It's tough to root against Tarad Taylor, but knowing what we do know about his history, we might see more Tommy DeVito later on the season. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I wouldn't write Tommy off just yet.

Here's what I'm hoping for Tommy DeVito. I'm hoping he goes into witness protection for a while. By that, I mean, he's the third-string quarterback on the Chargers or maybe the Cardinals. Then a couple of years passed and then he pops back up and we get to see him and we get to relive everything and maybe he's learned some things. That's what I hope for Tommy to Vito.

Maybe he goes to the jets.

Yeah.

That would be nice. Just keep him.

In the city. Someone did tweet like, There really can't be anything worse than getting bench on national TV on Christmas and then having to go sleep in your childhood bedroom.

Yeah.

It's tough. But we love Tommy. I want Tommy on the show. What are we going to offer him? I mean, as many Cutlass as.

He wants. We'll get him a chain.

Yeah, we'll get you another chain.

We'll get you a nice new chain. I don't think we've seen the last time this year. I think he was too much fun to the point where I feel like the giants will bring him back next year. Yeah, I hope so. As far as the backup goes, he had a few good games. He played pretty good against the Packers. Yeah. He looked like a good quarterback. He looked like a good quarterback against the Commanders. Now, granted, the Saints didn't go so well. This game didn't go so well, but he didn't even get a chance to get to a rhythm. It was very sad today where before the game, they did a big feature on Tommy DeVito talking about how kids all over the state of New Jersey were waking up that Christmas morning, unwrapping Tommy DeVito jerseys. Oh, man. Yeah. And he was like crying. Thinking about it. He's like, Yeah, I used to be that kid Christmas morning. I forget what was the Italian linebacker from Notre Dame? He's like, I got his jersey. That meant a lot to me. It's a beautiful thing seeing kids get that with my name on the back.

Then little did we know, but there was an hour long countdown clock on the Tommy DeVito lifecycle that was going on at the moment that was about to expire.

Yeah, tough, tough. But we love him. Max, you feel good though? Second seed wrapped up. Well, actually, first seed still- First seed is alive. - still play. Although I think the Niners play the Cardinals. And then the Rams. The Rams could be playing for something in week 18. And the Rams are frisky. We've said that. The Rams are frisky. Yeah.

Or dangerous, was the word.

Yeah, they're officially dangerous. They've officially been in the dangerous tier. Yeah, let's talk about the Ravens and game. I mean, that was a beatdown by the Ravens, Proc Purity, four interceptions. I thought for sure the Ravens were going to be fucked after that safety. Yeah. I mean, the Ravens, I don't even think they played like a perfect offensive game, but their defense was flying around, stopping outside of that one drive where Kyle Shanehan remembered that he has Christian McAfrey and they should just run the ball. The 49ers just looked out of sorts.

Kiddle looked.

Pretty good, but- Yeah, Kiddell had a couple of huge passes in the.

Beginning of the game. I mean, coming from... Purdy was very confused by the defense. He had a lot of deflected passes too. Gidevy and Clowney, good reminder he plays for the Ravens. You'll be forgiven if you forget that because he plays on a different team every year. I actually like his style where he's just like, I'm going to perpetually be a free agent. He's addicted to betting on himself. When he's playing, he still plays really well. Purdy was definitely uncomfortable for most of the game. I want to know if there's such a thing as a comeback Agami, because in my dumb brain, I see 2-0 and I think game over. I wonder what percentage of teams that have gone down by a safety to start a game have ever come back and won that game. They not only came back, but they dominated. Lamar Jackson, by the way, making Fred Warner look like an infant on a scramble. It's good to have a reminder every now and again about just how good Lamar Jackson is with his feet.

That was my whole point about the safety. Like any other player, Lamar Jackson can get out of anything, and he makes people look like they're moving in slow motion. Fred Warner is one of the best linebackers in the game, and he made him look like he had cement boots on. He's just in The Ravens now. I mean, we went into this weekend being like, the Dyners are in a class of their own. Now, are The Ravens in a class of their own? I don't even know. This is the most wide-open NFL playouts I feel like we've had a very, very long time where there's just so many teams that are just everyone has a flaw. And the Ravens, you could say, well, they haven't won a big playoff. You know what I mean? They've won what, Lamars won one playoff game. So you have to prove it. But every team has a flaw in some capacity, and we'll see what happens. It's awesome. I'm so excited for the playoffs.

I was very wrong about this game. I thought that the Niners, I thought that they didn't have a flaw. I thought that their flaw was being injured, and they were healthy today. Even before Trent Williams went out, they just got their ass kicked today.

Yeah. See, I did have the Ravens today, and it's really just... I think the Ravens and the Browns are the two teams that play defense on a different level. Look, I don't think Brock Purdy is bad. We've said it. He's a good quarterback. You can't take anything away from the season he's had. But when you have to play a defense that good, things don't come as easy as they do when you're playing other teams.

Yeah. This is another good reminder that we're dumb as shit and sometimes don't know anything, for me personally at least.

Also, you could say, Brock Purdy could use some help. I don't know. In this game. Could use a couple more weapons. Right?

He's a.

Lack of weapons today was probably Brock. That's probably the fault.

Of the Niners. Brock Purdy can't do it all on his own. Get him a wide receiver, get him a tight end, get him a decent running game, and get him like a stud offensive lineman, and then we'll truly see what Brock Purdy can do. Who the fuck is- I do think that this definitely changed the discourse. I think we're seeing a major discourse alert here. Brock Purdy no longer the front runner to win NFL MVP, I don't think.

I was going to say who the fuck is going to win MVP now? Lamar is the favorite. Lamar is minus 200. This is why... This is why the MVP in the NFL is so stupid. Lamar would be a deserving favorite or a deserving winner because it does usually go to just whoever gets the one seed, the quarterback of the one seed. But it's so stupid because the MVP, it feels like, is decided in the last three weeks of the season every year. Whoever has a big prime time game at the end of the year and if they play well, they win the MVP.

Huge come up for a boy, Mike Florio, my internet dad, your Internet uncle. Lamar called him out, called him Mike Florist, which that name is going to stick. I can tell you right now. I haven't heard the clip. I'm going to play it live for the first time. Jake just sent this to us.

Here tonight, his numbers are outstanding. Two hundred and fifty-two hours.

Mike Florist, you heard?

No, not at all. I don't think Mike Florist.

Mike Florist. Well, that's a good one.

Lamar Jackson was nice enough to step by with.

Lysis Salvers. In a way, that's good for Mike. Yeah. Getting into a public beef with Lamar Jackson, congratulations, Mike. Although at what cost? Now your nickname is just Mike Florist. That's still good for the brand, I'd say. I think he also went on a rant after the game in.

The postgame presser.

About him.

Love it. Wait, what did Mike Florio say about-.

He said that the Niners were going to kick the shit out of him. Wait.

Oh, the Ravens. The Ravens also went after Mike Florio with their social media team.

As long as the key players are healthy, they're going to kick the shit out of everybody they face.

The quest is for second place. That's it.

As long as those people stay healthy, they're currently healthy. The 49ers kicked the shit.

Out of the Ravens on Monday night. Then they put all the.

Equipment in.

Oh, Mikey. Mike.

I want to laugh real hard at that, but everything Mike Florist said right there was virtually identical to what I.

Said on Friday. Should we call him? Do you think he's still up?

No chance. Oh, yeah, he's up. Mike's up. You think so? Yeah. Let's call him.

I want to do the Ravel thing and hang up on him. I'm not going to because I love him.

Hello.

We're taping part of my take right now. Do you have a comment? Sorry. We're live to tape on part of my take. We now have an exclusive with Mike Florist. Hello, gentlemen.

How are you? Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

What is your name? Merry Christmas, Mike.

What is my comment? Yeah, Mike Florist.

Oh, look, I was wrong.

I was wrong. I hung up on him.

I.

Feel bad. Should I call him back? I feel bad.

You hear it. I'll call him back.

Just tell him my phonemy phone died.

We'll go good cop, bad cop on him.

I don't know why. He just can't. I want to call Ravel again.

Don't do it.

Congratulations on Northwestern's win.

Hello. Hey, Mike. Sorry about that. Big Cat's phone died, so I wanted to call you back. Now, you said that the Ravens were going to get the shit kicked out of them on Monday night on Christmas Day. And then the Ravens social media and more notably, Lamar Jackson called you Mike Florist. Do you have a comment about the nickname? I don't have any problem with it. I've been called worse. Okay. Think skin. I like that. Hang up on him. All right- I thought.

The 49ers.

Were the best team by far, and it would have been anybody on Christmas night. Look at what they did to the Cowboys. Look at what they did to the Eagles. Look at what they've done since coming out of their.

Bio week. You look at the.

Scores of the games. They've dismantled everybody. I thought on Christmas night, Ravens flying across the country. All right. That was my forest.

I'm going to go back. I'm going to go back.

Bye, Mike's book all the way home.

I actually started reading it. It's very good. Hey, Jim. Hello? Hey, PFT lost you. I think his phone died.

You know what?

We love you, Mike. That's fine. Mike, we love you. We're also we just plugged your book. I started reading it. How far did you get? Page one? No, I'm a chapter in. Okay, keep going. All right. Yes, you told me. You can take the two and throw it away. Yeah, I told you- You can take the chapter and throw it away. All right, so where can people buy it?

Amazon. Rule three. Rule-three.

Just tell them Amazon. Call them one more time. It's going to be so mad. What are some sticks? You know what? Fuck, Bozy.

What's the website that they can buy that, Mike? Stop.

I'm not. I'm done.

Okay, I love you, Mike.

I love you, Mike. I got to go.

My friends are about to die. I love you, too. Bye. Bye. Speaking of Christmas gifts, did you get your Schaefer gift?

Oh, did I? What was it?

I got mine on Friday it arrived, and I have a very important question for you about it.

Wait, I do have a big box. It was a big box?

It was a big box. Schaefer's got a huge box.

Okay, I do have it.

I got in Schefer's box, and I need to know what yours says on it because he sent a very nice cashmere blanket. It's super soft.

Wait, hold on. Let me go get it.

While you're away, I'll explain what my question is going to be. I opened it up. It's a great blanket, but it's got a giant S on it. I think that there's a chance that Schefer sent out a gift to everybody of a big blanket with his initial on it, which would be an all-time power move. Now maybe he sent me a blanket that had my dead brother's initial on it. I don't know if it's that personalized. We'll see if BigCats has a K for Katz or an S for Schefer. I hope that he's just sending out blankets with his last initial on it.

I'm still laughing about the Florio call. I texted him. I said, Sorry, we're dickheads. We can't change. We suck. Good way to sum this up, right? There's nothing I can do. I'm 38 years into this. I can't change the fact that I'm hanging up on someone when you call them is funny.

It's sorry. Yeah, I need to know if your blanket has a giant S on it.

Monogram for Schaefer?

I'm thinking that he just sent out blankets with his initial on it.

No, it's the.

Last name. This is a K.

Yeah.

Okay. All right, All right, mine had an S. I thought that it was S for Schaefer on mine. That's very thoughtful. Thank you, Adam.

That rocks. Yeah. Also, just a reminder that I just don't open any of my mail has been sitting in my front hallway since Thursday. I'm the worst. I saw an Instagram where a wife just went around their house and just wrapped up all the shit that the husband has lying around and gave it to him, and he didn't figure it out until halfway through. My wife was like, I could do this to you. I was like, Even that you've told me this, you could still do it to me. Like, with my birthday, you could just give me all the junk in my house.

The stuff from the studio?

Yeah, just files everywhere.

That whole closet.

That was very nice, Schepher. Okay, let's finish up. Who's back of the week? Rowback question. Rhoback. Com, promo code take 20% off your first purchase. Qzips, Polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Go right now, rowback. Com, promo code. Take 20% off your first purchase. Who's back of the week? Pft. Start with you.

Yeah, it's been a pretty fun week doing a lot of traveling, but it is also the end of the year. And with the end of the year comes the beginning of the new year and New Year's resolutions. I just want to remind everybody I am going to be doing pretty much dry January again this year. So you're all welcome to join. Basically, dry January is coming back. The rules are as follows. No drinking unless it's Friday. If there's football on a Monday, you can also drink on a Saturday and you can have brunch on a Sunday, and then you can have a beer during the week, any night. Besides that, no heavy drinking whatsoever, unless again, maybe there's like a party. Also, you get a Monday off, so you can drink that Sunday night and all day on that Monday too. Besides that, I'm trying to get into shape. I'm trying to lose some weight, trying to really get healthy before we go out to Vegas for the Super Bowl because I'm sure we're going to be eating and drinking like shit out there. We have chance. Now is the time where you can really grab the bull by the horns and do pretty much dry January with me.

It's basically dry January and it's always a lot of fun. The more the merrier on the bandwagon.

Love it. My news resolution is I'm going to eat more Blizzards, Dairy Queen, and all of those.

Okay. I was also going to drink more water, which is one that I say every year.

Yeah, but I like to do... New Year's resolutions are, to me, less about changing your sofa the better and more about just doing the things you like more and I like eating blizzards, so I'm thinking like 50.

My resolution last year, I think, was do everything that I'm already doing, except do it harder.

Oh.

Okay. Just turn it up a notch. Yeah, turn it up a notch. Yeah, go on. That's my news resolution this year. I'm just going to turn up.

A notch. I saw a very funny tweet. Some guy, let me give him a shout out because it made me laugh. He said, let's see, what is his handle? His hands-up list. He said, 2019 broke me. 2020 changed me. 2021, I'm on drugs. 2022, I'm on drugs. 2023, I'm on drugs. 2024, I'm locking in. Yeah, hell yeah. And then had a follow-up saying, 2024, I'm still on drugs, but don't get it twisted. I'm just locking into. Yeah, that's everyone's New Year's resolutions.

There's one more rule for pretty much try January, I forgot about that. If you're on a plane, you can also drink on a plane. Absolutely.

We did our New Year's resolutions on Barclays sports advisors, and Jerry's resolution is just Trump 2024. His resolution is someone else winning the presidency. Got me a good laugh. All right, am I who's back of the week? Well, I have two. Stephan Diggs, we didn't talk about it, DivaAlert. He wore a skirt to the game on Saturday night. And then also ESPN put it up on Instagram that was like, Stephan Diggs hasn't had a 100-yard game in the last nine games, and he just did the sad face emoji as a comment. So yeah, DivaAlert. And then my other who's back is Ben Verlander, our good friend who we've never had on, but we'll have him on some time. Everyone knows here, Ben Verlander, huge Showhey O'Tany fan. Huge, Showhey O'Tany fan. Remember when Showhey got hurt, he said he was puking. He was literally sick. He cares a lot about Showhey O'Tanya. Ben Verlander went and did a, I think it was a TV hit, but it was put on social media where he said that Showhey O'Tanya to the Dodgers is the most important signing in Dodgers history. I have no problem saying that.

It's the most important. It's the biggest, it's the most impactful.

Pft. Hand up, Pica. I have a question. Jackie Robinson, which team did.

He play for? The Dodgers. Pretty impactful.

Okay, I thought so. Yeah, impactful.

The word.

Impactful just put it through.

The most important, the most impactful. The internet dunked on him, which whatever. He's just in the moment. He forgot a little history. No big deal. He's a good guy.

I saw a little video that came out over the weekend. Joe Kelly, his wife said that O'Hay could have Joe Kelly's number if you sign with the Dodgers. O'hay, embrace to beat good guy move or sneaky-sneaky move, bought Joe Kelly's wife a Porsche and just had the Porsche dropped off. He bought another man's wife a Porsche.

Never buy another man's wife a Porsche.

As a man, would you let another man park his Porsche in your wife's garage?

I'll actually go one further. Never buy your wife a Porsche.

That's also a good take.

Swifties are going to take this.

As well. Because they can't drive? I was messed up a few minutes because they.

Can't drive. No, that's not what I meant. I was just thinking about something else. No, I would never buy another man's wife a Porsche. I'd buy my wife a Porsche. I would never buy another man's wife. What? Maybe I'd buy another man. Listen, if you have $700 million deferred?

I would respectfully buy J. L. O. A Porsche. Yeah. Now the real question is, would you.

Let another man- I'd buy a Sweet 16 a Porsche.

Would you let another man buy your wife a Porsche?

Yes, 100%. Yeah. Because I get to draw on a Porsche.

Fuck that. Then you just sell it.

Yeah.

Are you kidding me?

Thanks for the Porsche. Yeah. That would not bother me. I just think of us being on one of those... You've seen those clips where I think we're talking about with Jules where it's like just two dudes, just parading like a line of five women. Just being like, You're worthless. We would just be on that podcast and be like, You let someone buy your wife a Porsche? What the fuck? Dude, I don't care. It's a Porsche. The fuck do I care? That's awesome. That's a sick car.

I want that. Yeah. My real question is, is Showhey O'Tanya too nice of a guy? That's just such a nice guy move where it's like, does he have that killer instinct? He's thinking about other people all the time.

But you do pay for the numbers. Matt Barkley told Cam Noonie you'd sell it for a million bucks. So yeah, I think it's all fair play. I think it's all fair play.

The Porsche is pretty sweet. If you wake up one morning and it's... Was it on Christmas? Was this like a Christmas? Because that would totally cuck your own Christmas present.

Yeah, it would. Max, you just texted us 2/25. That's how long it is? Tite show. Yeah. Memes asked me.

How long it was going, and I actually said it to the wrong group. That is a fact. I'm almost 225.

Wait.

This has.

Been a tight show.

A history of part of my tech producers that have done that.

That's not me. This is a tight show. I feel like we've been pretty tight. Look, PFT and I like to talk ball. We always joke about it, but like if you told us tomorrow we weren't doing this job anymore, I would on Sunday would come by and I'd be like, PFT, you want to come over and just we'll watch football and just talk ball? That's what we would do. We just.

Happen to.

Do it for a week of problems.

Yeah, this is honestly the best.

Part of our week. Yeah, we would do this exact same thing if you took the job away. Okay, Max, finish this off. Who's back?

Nba being irrelevant. Good one, okay. What's up, Max?

Go on. Did you guys see LeBron almost died today?

I saw that. Yeah, he looked, did he get his leg amputated?

That was such classic, LeBron. He had the whole training staff out there. He knee, Jalen Brown in the butt and then looked like he was never going to walk again and he missed 30 seconds of the game.

Yeah, he looked like Barbara before they shot him. There was also that.

Review.

Where.

They called a foul on him and they reviewed it. And they were like, Just to be clear, it was a clean block on LeBron, but he was still fat. But someone else.

Found him on the body. No, I think what the ref said, because it was very fun the way he said it, because it was a nice block by LeBron. He made sure to compliment LeBron before calling the pal.

Yeah, the NBA has gotten cucked by the NFL. Sorry, we're going to have our preview soon. Soon as the NFL is over, we'll have our NBA preview. Sorry, I like the NBA. I like the NFL more.

I've.

Watched every NBA game today. I'm watching the Suns, Mavs right now. Kd is apparently not happy with the Suns. It's shocking news.

He should get traded.

He probably should demand a trade. Okay, well, thank you, everyone, who tuned in. Tightshowe. We have lottery ball. We taped all the lottery balls, so we have that. Then we will see everyone on Friday. Friday will be our next and we'll do a preview. That will be Zoom as well, but then we will be back in studio for the College football playoffs on Monday night on January first. Yeah, thanks everyone for tuning in. I don't know why I'm talking like this. I want to call Florio again so bad.

Love you guys. I did to love you guys. Bonus love you guys. I want to.

Call them so bad right now. Okay, we're back in the studio for the numbers. Numbers? 40. 8. 71. 18. 23.

28 Pug.

Love that out of you, Pug. -no one changed. Love that.

Out of you, Pug. I am Pug.

93.

We stink at this.

Yeah. I'm good at it until Cry Baby Max showed up. I'm good at it.

He's good at it.

You two are good at it. Cry Baby Max, bitch.

Love you guys.

Caylas in the building. I hope you had a good day. You had a good day. I'm talking. I'm talking away. No, I don't know what.

Have to say.

I'll say it anyway.

Today is another day to find you. Shine

away. I'll be coming for you anyway. You're shying away. I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. I don't have a dream. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Jim Gaffigan here with some more Straight Talk. Now you.

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